Owen Jones
Daddy's Hobby
“How old you? Are you marry?” blurted out Mott
“38, 38, 40” answered Mike “and we’re all married to The Duchess of York.” The joke fell flat on the girls.
“Duchess of Yoke? Same Queen?” asked Mott hopeful y, but rather naively.
“Not same Queen,” joked Ed, “she has a steel bottom.”
None of the girls had a clue what the men were talking about, but they were definitely intrigued – especial y Mott, who shouted from her pole in al earnestness “Not steel bum, steel knickers, yes?
Not see steel knickers before. I think not nice.”
The men were loving it and so were the girls.
“No, darling. Only joking. We’re not married. I joke with you that we are married to our ship – ‘HMS The Duchess of York’.
Only joking. Steel knickers, for Christ’s sake. Are you for real?
You’re gorgeous, though, aren’t you?”
They al laughed and Mike rang the bell. So, thought Lek, they have money too and are not frightened of spending it. Another good sign. Mott came down off the pol and took the men’s order for themselves, before going around al the other girls and punters that were there to see what they wanted.
Ringing the bell in Thailand means you are offering everyone in the bar a drink of their choice. By six o’clock, the other two had each rung the bell as well, but the party came to an abrupt end, when Mike announced unexpectedly that it was eighteen fifteen hours and time to leave. Everybody looked disappointed, except Mike, who had been delegated to keep an eye on his watch.
“Oh, shit, Mike! Do we have to? This is the best time we’ve had in the whole week we’ve been here. I’d rather stay here. Sod
‘em. Come on, me ol’ shipmates, let’s have another drink. What do you think, Dave?”
“Unfortunately, I think Mike’s right,” retorted Dave. “We promised and a promise is a promise is a promise. We can come back later. You’ll still be here won’t you, girls? You’re not going to go anywhere are you?”
He always had been a bit slow on the uptake.
The girls smiled back weakly.
“Where you go?” asked Ayr. “You butterfly? Have other ladies everywhere? I like you. We go with you? Ayr, Lek, Goong, yes?
One, two, thlee, fou’, fi’, sis people, yes? Have beer in other pub with you.”
“Check bin, kraap” said Mike, asking for the bil and at the same time giving away that he had at least a smattering of Thai.
“We’ve got something to do that we can’t get out of. That’s al .
We’l be back later. Wait for us, if you can. Otherwise, well, that’s how it goes, I guess, eh? We’ve had a great couple of hours and we al wish we could stay here or take you with us but it’s impossible, unfortunately. So, see you later. Adieu! Adieu! Adieu! Come on, me hearties.”
They walked off in the same direction they had had been walking before in Indian file with hands on the shoulders of the one in front like the Seven Dwarfs, singing:
“Hi ho! Hi ho! It’s off to work we go with a bucket and spade
….”
The girls were disappointed to say the least, but these things
happened.
Lek broke the silence with “Ah well… I thought it was too good to be true. Stil , chins up. We al made some money out of the drinks and the tip and we al had a pleasant couple of hours. Well, those of us who got in early enough anyway. I made 150 Baht plus a share of the tip. So did Ayr and Goong. Mott and Fa got at least 90
Baht plus tip. Everybody else got something plus tip. So, let’s look on the bright side and get on with it.”
She had given the moral booster, now she ral ied her troops and they al went to the front of the bar to coax the foreigners in.
Mott went back up the pole.
The evening was fairly quiet, but then it was that time of the year – the official holiday season started in late October in Pattaya.
By December, hotel room prices would have doubled and you would not get in anywhere unless you had pre-booked and paid a large deposit. But those days were stil a long way off and next month would be her last payment to the bank. Her reason for being in Pattaya would have expired along with the amortisation of the loan in five weeks time.
It troubled her immensely.
She wanted to go home to be with her family, but she knew she was no longer the peasant farmer’s daughter of ten years before. She had become used to getting more out of life. She looked at Mott, stil dancing around the pole and Fa at the til . Mott would go with man after man and really enjoy it. Fa was more like herself. Fa was a 21-22 year old woman, married to a local Thai man, who delivered flowers for a shop.
They did not have much money but they were happy. They were thinking about trying for a baby the next year. Fa did not go with other men. She would entice them, get drinks out of them, laugh at their jokes and do whatever was necessary to keep the bar busy except go home with anyone but her husband came to pick her up at random times after work.
Just to make sure.
Lek had started out in a similar way. She had been married when she had first come to Pattaya and was stil married now for that matter. Sleeping with al sorts of men just because they had money had not appealed to her. People in her vil age did not do that sort of thing, not that any foreigners ever went there anyway. She
had come to Pattaya to work ‘straight’ behind the bar – not in front of it, as the popular job description went.
She had worked for 2,000 Baht per month, which paid the loan and she lived off tips and Beou’s charity of more-or-less free board and lodgings. She owed Beou a huge debt of gratitude, although all Beou would say was that they were family and no thanks were necessary or wanted.
She had gone there with her two best friends, Ayr and Goong, who could not bear to be parted from her. Everything had gone extremely well for a couple of months, until she realised that she was four months pregnant with the baby of her husband, Tom. She had worked right up until the week before it was due and then she had gone home to have it – her darling, beautiful baby girl, Soomsomai.
A month later, when they no longer needed her, she had gone back to work in Pattaya, leaving her mother to bring up her daughter. As far as she knew, Soomsomai’s father had never seen his daughter nor even ever tried to see her. He had certainly never sent even one Baht in child support and nor did the law require him to. After her return to work, she had accepted the offer of the first man that had asked to go ‘for a meal’.
She had a baby to look after now and her mother could not work because of it.
That was how she had started and many girls had a similar tale.
It usual y involved a loan or a debt or a child or some cocktail of the three. Ayr and Goong had not started like that. At Lek’s farewell party, the three friends had cried so much at the prospect of being split up for the first time in their lives that Ayr and Goong had begged Beou to let them go too ‘just to get Lek settled in and make some money before they got married’.
Their parents had relented and Beou had agreed. So they had al three shared a tiny box room in Beou’s house and worked in Beou’s bar. They had slept three to a bed then too, but when they decided to go ful on, they had had to find their own apartment and Beou had used her contacts to help them there too. Beou could not have them coming and going at al hours of the day and night and risk their men friends coming around. After al , she had her own two daughters to consider.
She broke herself out of her reverie and mental y wished Fa
good luck. Fa would need it. The temptation to ‘only go with a really nice farang and only if she wanted to, once in a while’ was huge and many respectable married ladies had succumbed before.
Especial y the young and beautiful ones that were unaccustomed to flattery from their husbands and especial y if they were kept short of house-keeping money too.
By nine o’clock, Joy and Deou were on the telephone anxiously looking for their boyfriends, Barry and Nick, who were thirty minutes late. Lek had a friendly chat with them and tried to distract them. She was sure that their friends were sincere, but just not punctual and sure enough they arrived fifteen minutes later with flowers and apologies. Lek was stil with Joy and Deou when the boys arrived and she mercilessly sat there waiting to be offered a drink to boost her takings.
“Lek say you come soon,” Joy told the boys. They nodded their appreciation to Lek.
The drink was duly proffered and after taking a sip she moved on.
Everyone was wondering what had become of Porn and Or, so Lek telephoned Mama San to ask whether she had heard anything.
Mama San said that Porn and Or were stil with the Englishmen and that they would probably not be in that evening, unless they came by much later.
Four down, four to go, thought Lek. Beou could probably do with more staff at this rate. If Lek and her friends got off with or had got off with the sailors then that would leave young Fa in charge. If Mott went, Fa could not run a busy bar on her own. She would have to have a word with Beou when she came in at about ten o’clock. There were always girls looking for work in popular bars such as ‘Daddy’s Hobby’ so getting staff would not be a problem.
Keeping them might be.
Beou came in at ten o’clock, as she had promised, locked up her motorbike, said, “Yes, please” and jumped into the driving seat behind the cash drawer that Fa had quickly vacated. As she started to look over the takings, she lit a cigarette and a gin and tonic appeared in front of her.
“Any problems?” she asked Lek and Fa, but no one in particular.
Both shook their heads.
“I’ve got something I want to bring up later, but it’s not pressing,” said Lek, referring to taking on more bar staff.
“OK, give me ten minutes, if you’re sure it can wait. Another one of these, please!” she said, holding up her glass and taking a deep draw on her cigarette.
“OK, good work, Fa. I can tell it was you by your neat handwriting. Please carry on while I have a chat with Lek. OK, girl, what’s the problem?” she said getting up out of her chair and steering Lek by the arm to a quiet spot at the bar.
“Oh, nothing really” she replied, “Well, two things, I suppose.
Firstly to do with your business. Joy and Deou are out almost permanently now and I think we’l lose one or both of them soon.
Likewise, Porn and Or are out again, and, if they are lucky, may not be with us too much longer either, which means that if any other two of us are lucky, you have not got enough staff, unless you’re here. I think you need at least two, maybe three or four more girls.”
“OK, I agree. Do you know anyone back home or do you have anyone in mind, if you have, let me know? What’s the other thing?”
“Mmmm, well, you remember the reason why I came here ten years ago? It won’t exist this time next month. One instalment left, then finito.”
They simultaneously grinned from ear to ear and hugged each other.
“Good for you, Lek. I’m so happy for you. Let’s you and me drink a bottle of scotch and get a taxi home. Wil you finish working here?”
That was what Lek did not know. The answer to that question had been bothering her al day and, as usual, Mama San had hit the nail on the head first strike. What a woman, what a boss and what a friend!
“I don’t know, Beou” she said “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but it always seemed so far off. Now it’s next month and I’m so confused that my head hurts. Can I really go back after ten years of what I’ve been doing? I’m not the same woman any more, am I? Wil they accept me back? Can I put up with the parochialism and narrow-mindedness? I just don’t know. What do you think, Beou? Could I make it work back home? Then again, I don’t want to let you down either. You have been so good to my
family and me. Without you, we would have lost our home and fields – everything Dad worked and died for.”
“Oh, this is worse than I thought” tutted Beou. “First of al , I strongly recommend you take me up on the offer of sharing a bottle of whisky. Then, I recommend a sensible girly chat, a good night’s sleep and a decent hangover, fol owed by a late sleep in and two paracetamol, and if that doesn’t make you see sense, the same again tomorrow, repeated ad infinitum until you do. Blow the cobwebs out of your mind. You sound as if you’ve become institutionalised.”
They both smiled, tears in Lek’s eyes and Beou got up to get the whisky, soda and ice bucket.
Lek thought for a moment about what she would do if the sailors came back. Stay with Beou or go with them? She decided she would have to ‘play it by ear’.
She would not let her friend down, but the sailors were exactly her target market.
“We’l leave that one to fate,” she thought.
She looked around the bar, which was busy now. Plenty of smiling faces on the punters and the girls, al of whom had someone to talk to and most of whom were playing some sort of bar game with a man.
Al except Fa who was stil dancing on the pole.
Most of the girls were wearing genuine smiles. They honestly did enjoy this part of the job. Socialising, keeping men happy, being girly, laughing and joking, being admired and complimented by the men was great. It is called ‘sanuk’ in Thai – happiness in what one is doing, whatever it is. Thai women were brought up to be good to the men-folk in this way and to be appreciated in return. It was the other part of the job that took some getting used to. That sorted the girls from the women.
There were few girls working ‘in front of the bar’, who had not cried themselves to sleep because of what they were doing, especial y in the first few years. Most of the country girls were not brought up that way and carried a sense of shame because of it, but they bore the shame because they had a goal. They were on a mission to pay a debt or raise a child usual y. There were those that enjoyed the whole job, but they were usually city girls who had seen the game from an early age or who may even have been born into it.
Goong and Ayr had taken to it quite easily although their
families were respectable country farmers. Maybe their philosophy helped them. They were in for the duration. They enjoyed the job in its entirety. They enjoyed the attention, the good food, the travel, the new faces and the hotels. It was quite probable, she thought, that they would have turned down a proposal of marriage several years ago, because they enjoyed the life so much.
Nowadays, they would jump at the chance, if the right man came along with enough money, but then they were older now and could see that their days at the top were numbered. There were fresh-faced, beautiful eighteen year-olds arriving every day and the lifestyle was hard on the complexion. Late nights, too little sleep, too much alcohol and a smoky environment aged a girl prematurely.
As did not being able to trust anyone and always being watchful of your ‘partner’.
There was no love from the opposite sex in their job in Pattaya.
Only lust and lechery and debauchery and distrust and the threat of AIDS or some other horrible, deadly disease from a treacherous
‘boyfriend’ who wanted to pass his death sentence on to as many others as possible out of revenge for his own infection. Those who caught these deadly diseases usually just disappeared one day.
They could not face the shame of going home infected and treatment was unaffordable and ultimately ineffectual for most people, so they often went to Bangkok or somewhere similarly anonymous, rented a smal room and quietly committed suicide.
Usual y with poison and died, unidentifiable, like a mosquito crushed for trying to care for its young.
Beou came back and broke her from her sombre thoughts:
“Knock that back, girl, and good luck to you. Wel done for coping here for ten years and well done for paying off the loan to those shit-head bankers. Now cheer up! You’ve got the night off.
Do you fancy going out on the town? Maybe have a dance somewhere?”
“Oh, I don’t know, Beou” she said “Let’s just sit here for now and have a chat. I’m feeling a bit down. Maybe later if I can shake off this mood. I really don’t know what the matter with me is. I just feel like crying and I’ve no real reason. Like you said, the bank is as good as paid off and I’m a free woman again from next month. For the first time in ten years, I can work, if I want to or I can go home, if I want to, but for the first time in ten years, I don’t know what I
want. Funny, isn’t it? For ten years, I had a goal or even several goals and now that I’ve reached them, I feel lost. Homeless even. A silly cow, aren’t I?”
Lek clinked glasses with Beou, wished her ‘Chok Dee” and they both emptied their glasses. Beou refilled them and, as if to echo Lek’s mood, the skies opened up and it began raining heavily. As they drained the second large glass of whiskey and a little soda, Lek surmised that the sailors would not be back that night even if it had been their intention to return earlier, wherever they had gone would seem more attractive now than an open-sided beer bar.
The rain was blowing in over them and they were getting a little wet, but neither of them cared nor felt inclined to suggest that they move to a drier part of the bar. Customers were moving off to drier bars and soon Beou and her girls were left alone.
It seemed for al the world that Lek’s dismay had infected the whole bar, its owner, her col eagues and even the weather itself.
Back to the Top
4 A Dream Come True?
Lek woke up slowly and opened her eyes. They hurt, so she closed them again. Her head hurt too and so did various other parts of her body, but she recognised the room and she knew that she was safe and had been looked after. It was Beou’s box room. A little bit more cluttered than when she had stayed there all those years ago, even though there had been three of them in there then.
On opening her eyes, she had seen boxes of spirits, mostly gin and whisky, piled high. It made her want to throw up. It must be Beou’s storeroom now, she thought, although thinking was difficult. She felt her body. A few aches and pains and an unfamiliar garment. She still had her underwear on and what was probably one of Beou’s dressing gowns on top. Good old Beou, she thought. She opened her eyes again and looked at her watch. By the light shining through the thin curtains, she could see on her wristwatch, that it was eleven thirty a.m. and she decided to get up and look for her cousin.
But slowly. Very slowly.
Lek got up, picked up the blanket and pillow and opened the bedroom door. She stopped just outside the door, as she tried to adjust her eyes to the more intense light and heard Beou say:
“Ah! So, you’re awake then, Little One? Are you ready for a livener, a coffee, a coffee and a livener or breakfast, a coffee and a livener?”
“Oh, Beou! Oh dear! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! My head hurts something wicked. I don’t know if I can see to come down stairs, but I’ve got to get to the loo. I’ll tel you in a minute after I’ve had time to think.”
She dragged herself down the stairs clutching the banister as a guide and a brake and tossed the blanket and pillow she’d slept on onto the couch where Beou was sitting as she passed on her way to the toilet.
“I won’t be a minute” she said and returned five minutes later.
“Ah, that’s better. I had to have a pee and wash my face. I feel a bit better now. At least I’ve got rid of some of that poison from my system.”
“Are you saying my whisky is no good?” joked Beou. “You couldn’t get enough of it last night. We had two bottles in the bar and then we sent the girls home early. It was raining too heavily and custom was thin. Do you remember? Then we caught a taxi back here after Noi arrived and I left my bike with her.”
“Mmmm, vaguely.”
“We sat here and watched a film or at least tried to and you wanted more to drink, so I got you an old dressing gown and a bottle of whisky and you got changed. Your skirt and top are hanging up over there. I sponged your skirt off. It should be dry soon. You can borrow one of my blouses, if you like. The kids have gone to school so we’ve got the house to ourselves until they get back at about five.
Noi’ll be around then too for a coffee. Are you going in today? Or do you want the day off? It’s up to you. If you want another session, I can get a baby sitter later. You can even go to work straight from here. Up to you, girl. Now, do you want coffee in your whisky, whiskey in your coffee or are you ready for something to eat or all three?”
“I feel awful, Beou. Really. Was I all right last night? I didn’t cause any fights or anything? Or I wasn’t sick everywhere, was I? I can’t remember much after sending the girls home. We waited for Noi, did we?
Well, of course. We had to! Silly me. I still can’t think straight. Did we get a motorbike taxi? How did I stay on that?”
She curled up on the couch next to Beou; put her head on the pillow and pul ed the blanket over herself.
“Oh, go on then. I’ll have a little whisky in a large black coffee. I’ll think about the food while I’m drinking that. Are you having one too?”
“I’m with you, kid. When you tell me that you are all right again, I’ll go back to my normal life. Until then, I’ll stick with you. You’re my
favourite cousin and number one head girl. Even if it is only for a few weeks longer. Number one head girl, I mean, not favourite cousin – you’ll always be that. We have been through so much together over the last ten years. Ten years! Doesn’t time fly when you’re enjoying yourself?”
Lek managed a weak smile and Beou went off to make the drinks.
Beou returned, saying:
“Oh, I would not have trusted you on a motorbike taxi. Dear me!
You could hardly stand upright. No, Noi went off and found us a cab.
There were plenty on Beach Road. It wasn’t worth the risk for forty Baht.
Here are a few spoonfuls of rice and a cold boiled-egg. It’ll help soak up the alcohol and give your stomach something to work with. You know what you’re like with coffee on an empty stomach! It goes straight through you, burning its way through like molten lava.”
“OK, thanks, Beou. I know you’re right. It’s just… OK, OK, I’ll eat it. It’ll do me good. I know it will. Thanks. Did those sailors come back last night? Did you hear about them?”
“Mmmm, Noi told me when she came around for coffee yesterday evening. You’re feeling better then – asking about men. I thought you were dying. No. They did not come back. Your flatmates wanted to hang on until one o’clock to wait for them, but it was stil pouring down and I could see it would be a waste of time. If they are that interested and if it is meant to happen, they will be back today.”
Lek knew this was good advice and decided there and then to go into work later. She considered there to be at least a fifty-fifty percent chance that they were impostors, but then they were reasonably good odds in her world.
“I’d better go in Beou. I said I’d look for a couple of new girls for the bar. A few came by the other day and I told them to come back later in the week.”
Beou pursed her lips in a sign of disbelief:
“Yeah, right! Nothing to do with sailors. Sure. OK! Up to you. If you don’t want to go drinking with your old cousin, I can take it. I’m a big girl now and won’t cry.”
They smiled at each other.
“Beou,” said Lek, “Do you mind if I just doze here in front of the TV, have a shower here later and then wander into work at about three thirty? I feel so, uh, safe and cosy here at the moment. I don’t want to go back to the flat just yet.”
“No, no problem. You carry on. If you want anything, just help yourself. I may pop out later and do a little shopping, otherwise, I’ll be in my room catching up with the books. You get some beauty sleep you may need it. I’ll see you later. Sweet dreams – of the UK Royal Navy or whatever it’s cal ed over there.”
Lek awoke after an intermittent, though restful and pleasant slumber.
She got up feeling a lot better, took the towel that had been placed near her head and made for the bathroom to take a shower. Lek shouted to Beou, but as there was no reply, she assumed that Beou must be out shopping. It was three o’clock. She felt almost as good as new after her shower and she went to see if there was anything she could do until Beou got back. She did the small amount of washing up that was left and folded her blanket neatly with the pil ow and put them at the top of the stairs.
She tapped Beou’s door and looked in as she did so but saw that Beou had indeed gone out, so she went back downstairs to watch TV and wait.
Beou was not long and Lek heard the key in the latch at three forty-five.
“Yoo-hoo! You still here? Hiya, Lek. Did you sleep well? Do you still want to go into work today? All right then, we’ll go in together. I’ll just put these few things in the fridge and we’ll share a taxi. I can get my motorcycle then too.”
Within ten minutes, they were in a Baht taxi halfway down Pattaya Klang Road and well on their way to ‘Daddy’s Hobby’. They even had the good fortune that the taxi went straight over Second Road on the way to Beach Road and they got out a hundred metres from the bar. That did not happen often.
“Thanks for last night, Beou. I really needed that. And a friend. And you’re the best.”
They smiled at Noi then at each other and walked into the bar together.
“Noi,” said Beou “I decided to come in early myself today, so there’s no need for you to go round to my house later. Why don’t you get off early for a change?”
“Oh, no thanks, Boss” she replied. “Su doesn’t get home ‘til about five-twenty and I’d go mad sitting in the house alone. I’ll just sit here for an hour and chat, if that’s all right with you.”
“Whatever you like. Whatever you like. You try to help people…
That’s two people I’ve tried to give time off to today and nobody wants it.
I must be paying you all too much.”
She walked off muttering to herself, pretending to be puzzled.
Lek felt much better. Her head had cleared and she felt a lot happier in herself, even though she could remember only snippets of the conversations. Something had affected her consciousness; she did not know what, but it had. It was similar to going to bed troubled by something and waking up, not knowing the answer, but knowing that the problem was not as big as one had imagined. Lek had had this experience many times in her life when she felt depressed.
When this happened, she liked to think that she had visited or been
visited by someone who was knowledgeable and that she had discussed the matter sensibly and rationally. Sometimes that person would not be alive in the generally accepted Western meaning of the word but would live in the Spirit World. She often felt that she had talked to her father in times of need.
This time she could only just remember talking to Beou, but it had done the trick.
She walked behind the bar, smiling at her friends and colleagues and sat down to have her fourth cup of coffee of the day. There were already a few punters drinking beer, but they were being ably looked after by the other girls.
Joy and Deou arrived beaming. Their regular boyfriends, Barry and Nick, had invited them back to Wales for an all-expenses-paid holiday.
The only problem was that they only had a fortnight to get everything sorted out and it could take longer than that just to get the visas. Al the girls knew someone who had fal en at that last hurdle. Great Britain was one of the hardest countries in the world for a Thai girl to visit, especially if she were young and beautiful and accompanying a middle-aged man.
Anyway, no one was going to mention this today; everybody was happy for them. They wanted to take the next six weeks off. Two weeks to get a visa and say goodbye to their families and four weeks to visit Britain. There was no question about Beou refusing. This was why all the girls were there in the first place. They would probably fight to the death to get on that plane for Britain if they had to.
Nick and Barry arrived in high spirits at about five o’clock and all the girls gathered around to wish them well. Beou went over too and shook their hands. She sat down, offered the two couples a drink, and started talking excitedly about the girls having six weeks off work.
“Joy and Deou have ask for six weeks holiday. You look after them, eh? They very good girls, but not know much about foreigners or their customs. They not go abroad before, you know? You must take care of them good. Ah, I know you, you good men. You take care of my girls for me.
“Do you want to give party for them for good luck and for say goodbye to their friends before they go? It is an old Thai tradition to have a party before a long journey to ask for good luck in travel ing and say goodbye to friends. Maybe not come back, eh? Maybe you marry in Wales, eh?” Nick looked around, saw that the bar was fairly empty and rang the bell. It was as good a way as any, he thought, to change the subject of marriage.
“Yes, OK, er, we’ll have a party on the night before we leave. Can you organise that for us, Beou?”
“Sure, Nick” replied Beou, “No Problem. We wil make it nice for you. Balloons, soup, chicken, rice, salad, music, a pig… You will have plenty of good luck and your sweethearts wil not be afraid of flying.”
“A pig!? Sounds lovely,” said Barry “How much do you think all that wil cost, Beou?”
“Oh,” answered the Mama San, “for you and my girls only the minimum standard rate for a super de luxe ‘good-luck party’ for four –
