Owen Jones
Daddy's Hobby
“Hello! My name Lek,” she said to the Englishmen, “You like ladies? What name from you?”
They introduced themselves as John and Bob and shook hands with Lek.
“What you want to do with ladies?” she asked cheekily, but without any hint of insinuation.
“Umm, well, we were thinking of going for something to eat and perhaps on to a club later” said Bob.
“Oh, no problem. Up to you. Porn and Or know Pattaya very well. Show you good restaurant, good club. They working here now; you know you must pay me for let them go early? Not big money.
Four hundred Baht each or they lose money. Understand? What ladies want to do after finish working up to them. You must talk to them what they want. You understand?” said Lek trying to make the circumstances crystal clear.
“Yes, I think I understand” said Bob “What do you reckon, John?”
“I’m OK with that,” he replied catching on a little more quickly than his friend.
“Yes, fine” he said to Lek and he smiled at each of the girls, who were beaming back at him. “Very happy.” Porn put her arm around his waist and hugged him.
“OK. Good. You al happy! You handsome men. You want one more drink here or you want check bin now? Drink cheap here,
but expensive in restaurant?”
Bob opted for another beer and offered drinks al round. Lek accepted and nodded to Fa to put the bar fine tab into their beaker.
She smiled graciously, took a sip from the glass and slipped into the conversation:
“Where you stay? You here long time already?” eyeing her col eagues.
“Oh, we’re staying at the ‘Pig’ up the road. We’ve been here three days. Three weeks to go” replied Bob.
Lek had the information she wanted and she excused herself to return to the Scotsmen. They had been sitting around the corner out of sight however her spirits fell as she turned the corner and saw that they were no longer where she had left them.
“Fa, where are Ayr and Goong?” she asked.
“Oh, they left with those men about ten minutes ago. They told me you said to write a bar fine chit out for 1,000, is that right? The men had two more rounds, putting two drinks in for you, paid the bil and said they couldn’t wait any longer, they had to get going. Is that OK? Have I done anything wrong, Big Sister? Oh, and Ayr told me to give you this.”
Fa handed Lek a piece of paper, on which was written the name of a hotel and a kiss sign.
“No, no, everything’s fine, Little Sister. You did well. I’m just a bit tired, that’s al . Go and keep Mott company and break open half a bottle of whisky for the three of us. It looks like everybody else has deserted us.”
It was twelve thirty in the morning and the new law required that they close at one a.m.
Not that it was widely adhered to or enforced.
The only concession that most bars made to the new law was to turn the lights and the music off at the official closing time.
Having no customers, Lek moved to the front of the bar and sat with Mott and Fa, who had poured her a whisky and soda with ice. The girls that were stil in the bar after midnight often shared a bottle of whisky. Lek told them her joke about the landmines and they al laughed. Not much was going to happen now, so Lek offered the other girls an early finish.
As she did so, the night watch woman, Noi, arrived. Mott and Fa were about 22 and 20 years of age respectively and thought they
would go and chance their luck in Walking Street. Freelance, as it was called. It was only five minutes away by taxi. As they left the bar, Mott said:
“If we see your teacher, should we tell him you stil haven’t done your homework?”
Lek threw a bottle top at her and they scurried away laughing.
Lek and her old friend, Noi, the night watch woman were left alone – not for the first time.
Noi’s job was to look after the bar after the regular bar staff had left. She slept there, but if any stragglers wanted a drink at any time of the night, she would serve them. The bar was hers for about fifteen hours – from about one o’clock in the morning until about four o’clock in the afternoon. Noi was also from the same area, although not the same vil age as Lek, and they chatted about their families back home, catching up on the latest gossip.
Lek had been busy when she normal y phoned her daughter to wish her goodnight and ask about her day and she was not happy with herself for not having made the time to do it. It was not the first time Soomsomai had gone to bed without her mother’s blessing, but it did not happen often.
“Soomsomai understands you have to work, I’m sure. She’s a bright kid,” Noi consoled her. “What does she want to do when she leaves school? Has she ever said anything about it? Nurse, teacher, something like that?”
“No, she hasn’t really talked about a career” said Lek, finishing the bottle into her glass. “She’s stil young and has plenty of time. I don’t mind what she does, so long as she is happy and doesn’t work in a bar like me. She likes tending animals. She looks after Mum’s chickens and keeps a few pigs in with her uncle’s herd. She goes there straight from school to feed them and talk to them. Maybe, she wil think about being a vet.
“Her favourite subject in school is computing. Somebody donated a couple of computers to the school and the kids are learning on those, but you know what it’s like. The classes are too big and the teachers, with the best wil in the world, don’t really know much about computers themselves.
“Some of the teachers are speaking English as foreign languages themselves and have problems with computers too. Try as hard as they might, these people are not really fit to teach English
and computing, which is based on English. The commands are al in English, aren’t they? Perhaps, I ought to get her private lessons and a second-hand computer to practice on at home. It would give her a head start, wouldn’t it? How much do you think they cost? Do you know anything about computers?”
“Sorry, I don’t…”
“I certainly don’t. I don’t even know how to switch one on.
And the Internet? Should she be on that too?”
“Oh, it’s no good asking me, dear” said Noi. “I’m the same as you. They didn’t have computers in school, when I was there. I don’t even know anyone that has got one. My baby, Su, is 16 now and al she ever talks about is babies and houses. She’l finish school this year and soon be married, I reckon. She doesn’t want a career.
She’s not ambitious. She likes coming to visit me once a year for a holiday, but she doesn’t really like the city, not even Pattaya.
“She’s happy back home in the vil age. Soomsomai wil be all right, don’t you worry too much. Why don’t you get off home and have an early night? It looks like you’ve got the bed to yourself tonight. Go and take advantage of it. I’ll tidy up a bit here and then settle down to read my magazine a while, unless some Prince Charming comes by to keep me company. I should be so lucky!”
Lek smiled at her friend and hopped off the bar.
“Mmm, yes, you’re right. I know you are, but you know what it’s like. I feel so guilty about working away and not spending any time with my baby. I’ve missed seeing her grow up and it tears me apart sometimes. Usual y I’m OK, but sometimes, sometimes I just can’t handle it. Sometimes, I just want to cry and cry… give it al up and go back home with my tail between my legs like a disgraced puppy. Why do we do it, Noi?”
“There, there, I know. We al get like that sometimes when we’re a bit low. You have done your best for your family and you can’t do more than that, can you? No one can. Get off home now and have a good night’s sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon,”
comforted Noi.
They gave each other a long hug, then Lek picked up her bag and dashed across the narrow road to one of the motorbike taxis, which stood on the rank there day and night.
Lek knew the boys well. They had often sought shelter under the roof of her bar during a storm or popped in for a coffee to help
them get through a quiet spell. They looked after the local girls like big brothers - they were the local protection or mafia.
“Hi, Nong,” she said, “Give me a lift home wil you? I’m dead beat. Where’s the boss tonight? Out on the razzle?”
“Hi, Lek, you al right, girl? As beautiful as ever. Nice enough to eat, if you get my drift. If only you could see me as more than just a taxi service home. I have more between my legs than a just a motorbike, you know. Only joking. Sure, hop on. I don’t know where Bong is. You know him. He’s the boss and can do what he likes. I’m just the poor hired help and I do what I’m told” he replied.
Lek slapped him playful y on the shoulder and jumped up behind him side-saddle:
“Oh, you!” she said. “One day I’ll take you up on that and you’ll drop dead with shock.”
Ten minutes later, she was standing outside her block, wondering whether to go for something to eat or not. She felt sad and lonely, but she decided against going for food, considering herself too poor company to inflict on anyone.
The truth was that most men would have paid just to talk to her even in her melancholy mood, but she did not realise it.
Up in her room, she felt total y alone. Her friends were with some drunken louts, but at least they were not alone. She put the fan and the TV on and took her blouse and her shorts off. She looked in the mirror as she wrapped a bath towel around herself.
Not bad, she thought, but for how much longer?
She removed her bra and panties from under the towel, even though there was no one there to look anyway. It was force of habit.
She sat on the bed and flicked through the channels. They did not have cable or satellite, so she left it on a channel playing music and went for a shower.
She thought about her mother who was 61. How much longer did she have left to live? Would she get an awful phone call one day telling her that her mother had passed away, before she could get a chance to spend a last few years with her? Would Soomsomai get married and move away, before Lek got the chance to help her grow up? These were the possibilities that were too dreadful to think about, but which reared their heads far too often these days. She turned on the shower and begged the water to wash the thoughts
away.
But it did not and Lek lay down on the bed and cried herself to sleep – alone.
Back to the Top
3 SWINGS AND ROUNDABOUTS
During the night, Lek woke herself up several times from a recurring nightmare about her mother lying dead at the bottom of the stairs and her daughter crying out for her mother to come to help her. She had had the same dream before, but she was getting it more and more often now. One day she would get a telephone call to say it had come true. She was sure it was a prophesy.
She was lying awake in bed, perspiring profusely from worry about her dream but trying to watch the news on the television at midday, when Ayr and Goong came back. Their good humour soon infected Lek and the horror of the nightmare slipped into the back of her mind, where it lurked until the next time she was off her guard like a cold sore.
The Scotsmen had been far better mannered than first appearances had suggested and the girls had been treated very well.
Jock had been blunt and straight talking, but was kind and generous for al that. Dougal was quieter, even a little shy, which Goong said she liked in a man. Ayr thought Jock was brave and bold for speaking out the way he did. He was not afraid of anybody and was
‘his own man’, as she said he had put it. Ayr liked him.
Lek asked the usual questions: where had they gone? What had they done? Before coming to the crunch – were they going to see them again? They had left Soi 7 and taken a taxi by private hire to the Naam Chai Restaurant in Soi Buakhao, before pub-crawling their way back to the men’s hotel rooms in the Siam Bay View on Second Road. They had even had breakfast and lunch there and the boys had bought them a swimming costume each in the hotel shop so that they could use the pool. Lek was happy for her friends –
they had not had much good luck lately and were running low on cash, as always.
Not that it seemed to bother them. Not that anything ever seemed to bother either of them. They were true adepts at the ‘Why Worry? What Wil Be, Will Be’ philosophy of life and Lek loved and envied them for it. They had family but no children of their own, but they believed that Karma would resolve everything. Their parents’ Karma, their own Karma and their families’ Karma would resolve it al between themselves in time. So why worry? Lek knew this axiom to be true; she believed in Karma. She was a practising, believing Theravada Buddhist, but she stil worried. She just could not leave it al to fate. She considered it a weakness and one of her failings.
She asked again “Do you think you wil ever see them again?”
“I don’t know,” said Ayr, “I think so. They said that they are working in Thailand repairing and selling photocopiers for Xerox.
They are travelling to Bangkok as we speak and are flying to Chiang Mai for a fortnight on business. They just dropped us off outside with their taxi. They said they’d look us up when they came back this way.”
“’If’ not ‘when’,” thought Lek, but she would not say it just to dishearten her friends, who were riding high at the moment. They may even have been going to Bangkok to get a flight back to Britain, she thought. Some people wil tell lies just for the sake of it or to make themselves look important. Lek had been told some whoppers in her time for absolutely no reason whatsoever. It was one of life’s mysteries to her why some people lied when there was no justification for doing it.
Lek got up, pul ing her nearby towel around herself as she did so and went for a shower.
When she came out of the bathroom, someone had made her a cup of tea and her friends were asleep on the bed in their towels.
Lek turned the television down and lay down beside them, putting her arm around Ayr. Within minutes, she was asleep again, but content this time. Glad not to be alone.
They woke up at two p.m., their internal clocks guiding them back to their normal routine. Lek dressed and went down to the street to get something to eat, while the others showered, dressed and got ready for work. Lek would meet them there as she had
some business to attend to at the Bangkok Bank on Second Road.
She ordered a smal helping of green chicken curry and rice with a beaker of iced water, ate heartily for thirty Baht, and then jumped on the next Baht Taxi, hoping it would go her way. She knew it probably would and it did – to the end of Soi Buakhao, left into Pattaya Klang and then right at Tops Supermarket into Second Road. She stopped the taxi at Soi 6, paid her five Baht and crossed the busy road to the bank.
It was the end of the month and so time to make some payments. She went inside and waited in the typical y long queue until it was her turn to be served, which took about fifteen minutes.
Once at the counter, she fil ed in four identical forms: one to send her mother 6,000 Baht; one to put 1,000 Baht into her daughter’s account; one to put 4,000 Baht into her own savings account and one to pay 2,000 Baht off a loan. She handed over the forms and the 13,000 Baht – two months’ money for many people, four months’ for some.
She had always been determined to put as much away as possible, although not al for herself. She wanted her mother to live comfortably and to be able to look after her daughter, Soomsomai, without having to worry about money, although her mother did have a part-time job during the day earning 500 Baht a week while the girl was in school and enjoyed afternoon tea at the Wat or temple with most of the other ‘older’ women in the village every weekday. Then she had a ‘secret fund’ for Soomsomai’s education and a ‘retirement fund’ for herself. The reason for the loan repayment was the motive for her having gone to Pattaya in the first place.
Her father had been a doting parent and a hard-working man, but, alas, no financial genius. He was dead now, Lord rest his soul, and had been dead for ten years. He had died at the early age of 51, racked with pain and remorse. One year, after having had a succession of bad crops in the previous twelve months, he had borrowed 100,000 Baht from the bank ‘to tide them over’ and to buy some more land ‘while it was cheap’.
The bank had taken advantage of him and, not knowing any better, he had accepted an interest rate of 1.5% per month – an extortionate rate since the loan had been secured on his land and house. Things had deteriorated and when he developed secondary
onset diabetes, he worried that his family was doomed. The worry of repaying the loan had eventual y kil ed him.
That and not being able to afford the insulin that he needed.
A few weeks after the funeral, a letter had arrived from the bank threatening foreclosure and that had been the first the family had known about the loan - it had come like a bombshell from Hell.
Those few weeks had been the worst time in her family’s existence and they had al been lost for a solution. Until one day, Beou’s mother had suggested that they ask Beou to set one of them up – or to give one of them a job in Pattaya. Beou had told her mother that there was plenty of money to be earned in Pattaya and that she was doing really well. She must be, her mother reasoned, she was sending at least 5,000 Baht home every month.
The family had had a conference about what to do. Should they sell some land? That probably would not cover it. Anyway, they needed more land to reach critical mass to become profitable, not less. Her brothers, Long and Ngat had been eighteen and sixteen respectively and her sister, little Chalita, had been only thirteen years old. Long had already left school to work with his father, now Ngat would have to leave school too to help Long.
What could Chalita be expected to do? She was already devastated over the death of her beloved father. Their mother was already working in the fields and could do no more. The only option had been for Lek to get as highly-paid a job as possible, so, after much heartache, they had decided to offer to pay Beou’s fare back to the vil age, so that she could explain about ‘working in Pattaya’
and what it entailed.
Beou, Lek’s cousin, had come back immediately and explained that Pattaya was best understood as a foreign man’s paradise.
Everything there was geared towards him. Therefore, employment opportunities were mostly limited to the entertainment and leisure industries. Beou had said that she was already actively looking for three or four extra girls at that moment and that, if Lek wanted, and if the family agreed, then they could travel back together, and that Lek could have a bed in her house. That had clinched it. They did not have many alternatives and the guaranteed 2,000 Baht per month plus tips, as it was then, was more than she could earn locally. She had had to go.
That night her family had organised a farewell party and most
of the vil age had attended bringing their own food and drink. At the party, her two best friends, Ayr and Goong, had cried so much at the thought of losing her that Beou had offered them temporary jobs too. It would be like an adventure for them al . It would help Lek get over her husband too.
The next day the four had taken a taxi to Phitsanulok to catch the night bus to Pattaya and their adventure had begun.
Lek had been paying the loan off ever since. The bank had even put the interest rate up to 1.75% per month when they found out that Lek would be making the repayments, because they had felt that the loan was somehow less secure. Now, after 9 years and 11
months of not missing a single monthly 2,000 Baht payment, she had one instalment of 1,725.95 Baht left to make, if she had calculated correctly. It would certainly be less than 2,000 Baht. What a red-letter day that would be! She decided she would go home and roast a pig to celebrate with her family and maybe take Ayr and Goong back too.
She left the bank feeling elated, as she did every month: one more month down - one month more off the 120 months she had started with; she was honouring her father’s word to pay off the loan; she was supporting her family; providing for her daughter’s education and she had saved something for herself too. Not that it had always gone so smoothly – there had also been months when she had only been able to pay her mother and the loan. Not much could go wrong now though. She skipped down the steps and turned left into Second Road.
“Maybe rain later,” she mused, “but who bloody cares?”
Lek arrived at Daddy’s Hobby at three-fifteen and Noi was still dozing in her chair. Lek went inside and started to put the rice in the steamer to save her friend a job.
“I’m not asleep, you know. I was just about to do that, but thanks anyway,” piped up Noi.
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m early and could do with keeping busy.
Go ahead, have forty winks and I’ll make us a cup of coffee. Do you fancy a cake too? Don’t bother to answer, I’ll get you one anyway.”
Lek put water in the steamer and in the kettle, put a spoonful of coffee in each of two cups and went to Tops to get some cakes.
When she returned, her friend was swilling her face and they both sat down to drink their coffee.
“Anything happen last night?” enquired Lek.
“No, same as usual, nice and quiet - just how I like it,” said Noi. “We did get a few blokes come by at about three a.m. They had a couple of quiet beers and then left. They were all right though
– not like some. A bit pissed, but al right. They said they might come back later to check out the local talent. I told them we had some real stunners working here. They weren’t bad looking themselves either.
“You could do a lot worse: polite, 40-ish, British, handsome.
What more could you want? I didn’t see any wedding rings either.
Nor any marks of rings. Mind you, they’re probably stil asleep.
They’re staying at a hotel around the corner – over there somewhere,” she said, waving over in the general direction of Second Road.
“Did you get home OK? No nonsense from Nong? I saw him yapping away at you. We al know he tries it on with al the girls. He thinks he’s a real lady-kil er, doesn’t he? But I think he does really like you. He often comes over for a chat late at night when it’s quiet or raining. He’s always asking after you. He says his boss, Bong, fancies you too. Woaoy! Now he’s handsome and no mistake. Don’t you like him? He’s got a fat wal et too. You could definitely do a lot worse than him. If I could lose ten kilos, I’d have a go at him myself, but nobody takes me seriously at my size. I can’t think of a better incentive to try to lose weight though, can you?” she laughed.
Noi was a lovely woman. She was about thirty-five, but as with many over-weight people, she looked five years younger. She was about twenty kilos over-weight, but being big-boned and tal , she would probably look pretty, if she could lose ten kilos, as she already knew. She always had a smile on her face or a mock-frown.
There was always a joke or self-effacing comment waiting to spring from her lips and everybody took to her instantly.
Men too, although everyone, of both sexes, seemed to regard her as a ‘favourite aunt’ rather than a potential lover. In fact, no one could remember ever having seen her with a lover of either sex in the last ten years, although she had a fifteen-year old daughter, so something must have happened al those years ago. She knew that Beou would know the ful story, but she would never ask. If Noi wanted her to know, she would tell her herself soon enough.
In the bar world of Pattaya, being too curious about other
people’s affairs definitely did not pay.
Nevertheless, Lek sometimes got the impression that Noi would like to meet someone again. She was always joking about taking a lover; she obviously enjoyed talking to men; she liked whistling at them as they passed by; she enjoyed having a drink with them, but she always backed off at that last moment, usually making a joke of the situation and then scurrying away. They said that she had been very attractive before.
That made sense, unattractive girls just would not go to Pattaya
– there was too much competition. Lek guessed that she had al owed herself to put on weight so that she could not get a man.
But why would anyone do that? She didn’t seem to lack confidence, but maybe that was an act. Perhaps, there was no thin woman trying to get out.
They both got up. Lek took the cups to the sink and washed them up. Noi went to the cash drawer and counted the takings.
Everything over the 2,000 Baht float, she would sign for and take to Beou’s house, before ‘clocking off’ and going home to see her daughter at about five o’clock.
Sixteen hours a day, seven days a week, everyday of the month.
She didn’t have much time for a love life anyway.
As Noi was getting her motorbike keys, she motioned to Lek to look down the road.
“Woaoy! That’s them. Look! That’s them. I told you they said they’d come back. I wonder if I made a good impression on them. I think I’ll stay for just a little bit longer to get you started. He, he, he.
To introduce you,” she whispered, smiling.
“Woaoy! Woaoy! Woaoy! Woaoy! Woaoy! Handsome man!
Where you going? Come have drink with me and my beautiful friend, Lek. I take care you last night. You mau, but I take care you.
You say, you come back today, look lovely ladies. Have one now -
my friend Lek. She very beautiful, no? More come now ten minutes,” shouted Noi at the top of her voice to the three men who were approaching some twenty metres away.
With that, Ayr and Goong walked into the bar with Mott and Fa, whom they had met walking into work.
“Woaoy! Look have four more beautiful ladies for you to talk to now. Which one you like? Come have beer. Maybe palacetamon, eh? Have hangover? Come talk with me and I introduce you ladies.
Have quiet talk.” She winked at Lek.
The men walked over and sat down. Noi waaied each one and then shook his hand, before introducing him to Lek. Lek took the cue, waaied and shook hands too.
“Three beer?” inquired Lek, leaving her friend to start the conversation.
One nodded and Lek turned to get their order, place it in the ledger and write a chit. The other girls were curious about who the new men were, but were too busy adjusting their war paint to go over just yet. Noi knew that and held the fort while they got ready.
Lek brought over the beers and a big smile.
“Where you come from?”
“England, Portsmouth. You hear name before? Portsmouth?
South England, by the sea. Very famous. Lord Nelson. Ship
‘Victory’. You know?” replied one, trying to be helpful.
“Al right, Ed, al right. She’s not a bleeding dummy, but I bet she’s never heard of any of those things before,” said another.
His assumption was correct, but Lek said: “Poltsmou? Yes, I hear before. Sou’ England. Very beautiful there, eh? By the sea. Yes, lovely, I think.”
The third one chipped in: “Yeah, it’s all right. Plenty of night-life. You been there then, Lek?”
“Of course she hasn’t been there, have you, dol ? Most of them have never been out of the country. You’re such a Wally, Dave.
Most Thais haven’t even got a passport, don’t have any money and have never been abroad, let alone to Europe. Is that right, dol ? You not go outside Thailand before?” He was right again.
“No, no” she smiled coyly, “I not go there before. Not go to England, Eulope. I want to go there sometime. You on holiday?
How long you stay here?”
This got them talking and Noi took her leave, urging the other girls to get a move on with a flick of her eyes in the direction of the men. Fa went over, said hello and then took over the til . She put some music on and switched on the TV, looking for a footbal game. Mott pranced over next, said 'Hello' and hopped onto the rostrum to dance around her pole, fol owed by Ayr and Goong, pretending to giggle to each other at a joke, while each fixed one man’s eyes with a smile.
Battle was about to commence.
“Hello, ladies. Well, hello!” Mike greeted them. “Sit down.
Come and sit down. Noi was right. There are beautiful ladies working here. Look, Lek. I apologise for this pair of Wallies and their stupid questions and I humbly apologise for my attitude earlier.
We’re not like that really. We’re just a bit mau – you know, drunk last night, have hangover today. I’m sorry. Can we get you lovely ladies a drink? Let’s introduce ourselves properly.
Stand up, gentlemen. On the far left is Lieutenant David Murray; in the middle is Lieutenant Edward Riley and I am yours truly, Lieutenant Michael Smith. Three officers and gentlemen in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy. We’re pleased to meet you.” With that, they bowed in unison, as they had obviously done many times before.
The six girls beamed with delight, especial y Ayr and Goong, who were trying to find the hands of Ed and Dave again after the introductory handshake. Each of the girls had a picture in her mind’s eye of a dashing, handsome, fit naval officer in a white uniform with a wal et full of lovely money. Lek was pleased too, but she had heard many stories from men trying to impress her before.
She took al stories with a few pinches of salt as a matter of course these days. Perhaps she was becoming too sceptical in her old age, but then maybe not. She asked if they had any photographs.
When they did not have any on them, “What a surprise,” she thought.
