Owen Jones
Daddy's Hobby
She spent forty-five minutes at her favourite pastime of shopping for clothes before eventual y settling on a beautiful white skirt with her Western star sign embroidered in sequins on one thigh in the front. At fourteen inches long, it would show off her beautiful legs; being white, it would show off her tan colouring and the star sign would give men a reason for looking down there, if they had not thought of one already.
She was a Leo, born in early August and although she did not know a lot about western astrology, she thought she was a typical female lion. She had read about Leos being aggressive and dominant, but in her opinion that only applied to the females. After al , it was the female lion that pursued and kil ed the prey. Male lions slept a lot and demanded to eat first.
They only came into play if a predator or rival came on the scene and then it was only for the selfish defence of their progeny and their wives – they did not necessarily defend them for their own sakes. What a joke!
She also bought a short white blouse, which tied at the mid-rift to finish the outfit, and then hopped on a Baht taxi heading south and home.
Back to the Top
2 THE FLATMATES
Lek hopped nimbly off the bus and nipped around to pay the driver the fare of five Baht, before crossing the road and heading to the old, but recently renovated tenement block, where her apartment was located. She bounded up the three flights of stairs and listened quietly at the door. There was not a sound to be heard, so she rummaged in her smal bag and pul ed out her key. It was only one twenty-five, so the girls were probably stil asleep – they rarely got up before two o'clock.
She let herself in slowly and quietly and shut the door behind her. Lek could see the double bed with two lumps under the sheets and could hear them snoring softly. She got down on ‘al fours’ and crept up to the bottom of the bed, keeping below their line of sight.
She rol ed the oranges she had bought out of the bag onto the floor and, lying on her back, lobbed them grenade-fashion up onto her friends. First, the snoring stopped and then a few puzzled expressions were uttered and Lek turned over and sprang onto the bed making as much noise as she possibly could. She jumped on her friends and made as if to pul the sheet off them.
They joined in the game screaming like shy school girls, then they hugged in a triangle and bounced on the bed laughing. The three women had known each other al their lives. They had grown up in the same part of the same vil age and had gone to the same school and the same Wat – as their parents had al done a generation before. They were al the same age too, within twelve months, although Lek was technically the eldest. She was also the wisest and fastest learner and Goong and Ayr acknowledged this by the high esteem in which they held her.
Although unrelated, they called her ‘Big Sister’ and she cal ed them ‘my darling Little Sisters’ and they al looked after each other as if they were the only family they each had ever had in the whole, wide world. There was only one person al owed to break that triangle forming a square and that was Mama San, the boss and owner of ‘Daddy’s Hobby’, the bar where they each worked, but Mama San was older, more of a friend than a mate and, at the same time, more of a mother than a friend and she also came from the same vil age.
Suddenly and in unison, Goong and Ayr grabbed Lek, threw her onto her side and started to ‘tan her behind’. Lek let out an involuntary yelp and the girls stopped immediately, sensing that something was wrong because they knew Lek to be a ‘good sport’, always ready to join in the fun.
“What’s the matter, Big Sister?” asked Goong, “You’re not going soft in your old age, are you?”
“No!” replied Lek, “I can stil take you both on any time!”
“But why the punishment?” she queried, already suspecting the answer.
“What is our first principle? Never to be broken?” asked Ayr.
“Oh, yes. Ummm, sorry about that” said Lek, “I didn’t have any reception on my phone. I did try to let you know where I was though.”
“Bul shit, Big Sister! Why didn’t you phone from the hotel lobby or make an excuse to phone from a bar nearby, like you trained us and insist we do?” argued Goong.
“Yes, well, I’m very sorry. It won’t happen again,” replied Lek.
“Oh, I shouldn’t think it wil ,” said Ayr, “Mama San had us combing the streets for you until four in the morning and she’s tamping mad with you. Maybe a trip back home for a month would be enough, just about, for her to cool off. Anyway, that’s up to you
– you’ll get your comeuppance when Mama San sees you. Why did you flinch when we slapped your bum?”
“Ah, that’s a long story,” said Lek, thinking as quickly as she could. “Last night, I left the bar with an Arab named Ali, but we didn’t hit it off very well so we decided to part company before we got back to his hotel. I thought about walking back to the bar, but it was already late, so I called in to see an old friend working in a bar off Soi 8. She was chatting to two dreamy Englishmen and before I knew it, we were walking back to their hotel. Well, to cut a long story short ...,”
“Don’t,” interjected Ayr “we want to hear everything!”
“Mine was a schoolteacher and when we got to his room, I mean his classroom, he put me over his knee, pul ed my knickers down and made me suck his thing while he spanked me for not having my English homework with me. Woaoy! Was he kinky! It was lovely!”
“Tell us more about the professor, you lucky so and so. Was he tal and handsome? Did he have a big muscle …, I mean big muscles?” giggled Goong.
“Don’t be rude;” said Lek, “you know we’re not supposed to talk about our men friends, but just between us, eh? He was dishy, handsome, generous and umm, big. Very energetic too, so maybe I’d better get a little sleep before work later. Why don’t you two go and shower while I pop out to get us something to eat. What do you fancy? Anything special?”
“Just an omelette for me,” shouted Ayr from the bathroom.
“Me too” added Goong from her supine position on the bed next to Lek.
Lek and Goong just chatted, passing the time of day, while Ayr showered and when she had finished, Goong took her place and Lek went to the smal restaurant in the next block. She was soon back in their room and, while the two girls ate, Lek showered again, changed her underwear in their smal , shared bedroom and wrapped a towel around herself.
‘Apartment’ was probably too grand a word for what they had, although they did have decent accommodation by many standards.
It often looked like a smal room in a Chinese sweatshop laundry with bras, panties and slips hanging out to dry everywhere, for they were far too modest, believe it or not, to al ow men to ogle their underwear drying on the veranda.
The apartment consisted of one fairly large room, about six metres by five, a smal en suite bathroom with shower and WC and a tiny balcony, where they could dry their outer clothes. Furniture consisted of one double bed; a fridge; a fan; a wardrobe; a chest of drawers; a table; three chairs and an electric ring. They had also bought a kettle for hot water and tea; a rice boiler (considered an essential in Thailand nowadays); a TV; cutlery and crockery. They paid 3,500 Baht a month for this plus bil s, but they had been there for five years and had three years left on the lease.
It was central and they didn’t have far to go to work. They shared the bed, but none of them minded that – usual y, one or more of them was ‘out’, so it was rare to sleep three in the bed.
When they did have to though, they got very little sleep, because it was like the first night in a dormitory on the first day of term with al the giggling and chatting.
They had obtained the room with the help and guarantee of Mama San, who seemed to know just about everyone and everything worth knowing in Pattaya. They shared everything: clothes, food and money; they split al the bil s and they al had the same ambitions: to quit their jobs and get out of Pattaya with a decent, well-heeled man who loved them.
They shared thirty combined woman years of failure at that too.
They had an hour before they usual y set off for work and so, as usual, to the tunes of some pop programme on the television, they read bits of articles from magazines to each other, put their make up on and laid out their working clothes, more than several times. Lek decided not to wear her new clothes that day, but
modelled them for her friends anyway. Both Ayr and Goong thought she looked gorgeous – so did Lek.
“You can wear them any time, Little Sisters, ‘though maybe you’d better not,” joked Lek.
“Why ever not? Don’t you think they would look good on us too?” pouted Ayr.
“It’s not that,” quipped Lek, “but you aren’t Leos, are you?”
They each knew that they would look just as good on any of them. They were al three stunningly beautiful women.
At three forty-five, they locked their inadequately secure apartment door behind them and started off to work. It was only a short walk to Soi Diana, named after the murdered Princess of Wales, where they could cut through to Second Road, but they decided to take a Baht Taxi along Soi Buakhao to the newly developed Pattaya New Plaza just across Second Road from where they worked off Soi 7 at the Beach Road end. Lek paid the fifteen Baht for the five-minute ride and they turned left into the Plaza.
The right-hand side of the road housed a dozen or so large stalls each stocking dozens and dozens of items of ladies’ clothing.
Most of it was cheap and cheerful, short and revealing and aimed at the hundreds of bar girls that used this thoroughfare to the main girly districts of Soi 7, Soi 8 and Beach Road. But now it had another advantage, bars were going up on the left opposite the stal s, and the three friends loved the attention they got from there, while they indulged in a bit of window shopping on their way to work.
They walked side-by-side, wiggling their bottoms and flouncing their skirts just like fashion models on their runway, while swinging their handbags in perfect rhythm to a tune that only they could hear.
Al the men were watching them and they loved it. They pretended not to notice the attention while at the same time revelling in it; trying al the while to catch sly glimpses of the men who were looking at them - playing it super cool.
After al , their shift had not started yet
Walking this route, took them past at least fifty bars with probably three or four men in each at this early hour of the late afternoon. Most of these early-starters would be British - the target market for Lek and her friends. By walking this way, she could eye the latest fashions on the stal s while al owing British tourists the
opportunity to eye her and, maybe, fol ow her to work, if they were keen enough. On the way home at night, if she left work before one a.m., she could triple those odds, but she would not have much opportunity to assess her suitor, which is where experience or / and desperation came in.
They arrived at Daddy’s Hobby in high spirits. Lek was expecting a dressing-down and Ayr and Goong were looking forward to it. No sooner had Lek said 'Hel o' to Joy, one of their col eagues, than a voice boomed out:
“Lek! Get your sorry little arse in here right now! Right now, I said.”
Everyone knew who it was and Lek scurried in to see Mama San, making her friends smile with her imitation of a timid little mouse.
“Hello, Beou.” said Lek “How are you today? Takings good yesterday, were they?”
“Don’t give me al that crap! What happened to you last night?
You went off with that drunken Arab, which I thought was stupid, but up to you nevertheless. He paid the bar fine for you, so OK.
You gave him the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t have. Why didn’t you get the name of his hotel before you left with him? Why didn’t you phone it back to someone when you got there? You stupid cow!
“How do you think we would have felt if anything had happened to you? What if we’d read in the papers this morning that an unidentified girl had been found dead in a hotel? You stupid, selfish cow! You know how much the other girls look up to you and admire you. What sort of example do you think you’re setting them, eh? Eh?”
Lek tried: “I’m sor…,” but was cut off.
“Shut up when I’m speaking to you. Do you have any idea what you have put us through? Any idea at all? Ayr, Goong and I walked the streets from one until four this morning looking for you, asking if anybody had seen you and the other girls used up al their phone credit asking around after you and pestering me til noon today wondering whether you had deigned to inform us that you were OK!”
“Sheesh, girl. Don’t ever do that to us again” she added in a much quieter, more affectionate voice and gave Lek a hug. Lek squeezed her back.
“Sorry, Beou, really, I am ” she whispered in Mama San’s ear.
“OK, darling. OK,” said Mama San. “You are my Number One Head Girl and I need you to help me keep the others in line. I need you to help me keep them safe. I rely on you to help me keep my promise to their mothers to keep them safe. I need you to set not only a good example; I need you to set a perfect example. I need you to be their rôle model. I am too old for that now. They see me as a ‘has been’, their boss. I can only scare them into being sensible.
You can do more. Please try for me, for them, but above al for yourself, eh? Oh, and no more bul shit stories about giving teachers’
blow jobs in hotel ‘classrooms’ either.”
Mama San let go of Lek, took her arm and led her forceful y back into the bar, where the other girls were pretending to put the finishing touches to their make up, but were really straining to hear what was being said.
“Lek has something to say to you al ” said Mama San, as she let go of Lek’s arm. “Go on!”
“I’m really terribly sorry for worrying you like that last night. It was unforgivable” Lek blurted out, trying to put pathos into her voice, but she was being seriously distracted by what Mama San had just said. How the hell did she know that the teacher story was a fabrication?
“I don’t know how or why I didn’t call in, but there’s no excuse. Sorry for putting you through the worry and, so I understand, the expense. As a gesture of my gratitude, I propose to share my bar takings from yesterday with you al ! How’s that? OK?”
Lek looked around smiling; expecting to see the same response back, but it was not there.
“Mama San has already left us al a packet with an eighth each of your share” interposed Joy. “Thanks for the thought anyway, though.”
That would have been about 300 Baht, she thought. After al , she had had a very good day, she reflected. There had been a guy who had bought her a few Lady Drinks early on; then another and lastly Ali: they were worth 30 Baht each to her and her half of the bar fine, which was 400 Baht. So, al in al 250-300 Baht – just above average daily takings. Oh, well.
That’s how it goes, she thought, easy come; easy go, although it was more than she had wanted to lose.
Mama San smiled, tapped Lek on the shoulder in mock commiseration and went back into her cubbyhole to finish preparing the til .
Lek was considered a high earner on her level of play. She could probably have made it big time as a ‘resident’ in one of the larger hotels in Bangkok or even Pattaya, where girls were expected to have a passport, a driving license, bal gowns and decent jewellery, but Lek had never pursued that line and had never been offered it either. If she had been offered the position, she would probably have stayed with Mama San anyway, who was from her village too. She owed her a large debt, or felt she did, which was the same in her eyes.
Lek earned the ‘basic wage’, the same as the other girls like her, of 3,000 Baht per month for attracting customers, keeping them talking and ‘being available to escort’. Those who preferred not to be considered for escorting services, say married ladies, got 2,500
Baht per month. On top of this, both classes of employee were encouraged to ask the men to buy them drinks called ‘Lady Drinks’, which were usually mildly alcoholic cider or perry, but in fancy champagne-type bottles. The girls got 30 Baht for each for these. If the customer bought them a beer or a coffee they got nothing, although they would sit there and keep him company anyway, at least until a better prospect sat down.
Then there was the bar fine. A bar girl was being paid by her boss to work in the bar, if a man wanted to take her out for the evening, then the boss wanted compensation for the wages she had paid. This is cal ed a ‘bar fine’ or a ‘bar find’. It is typically between about 300 and 1,000 Baht and is paid by the man. The boss wil split this with her employee later.
Escorting services are nothing to do with the bar, are negotiable between the customer and the escort, and range between 300 and 1,500 Baht or more per night. It could be a lot more or even a little less. Lek always pulled at least 1,000 Baht per customer, after first making sure that she had had as many Lady Drinks as she could get, before leaving her home bar.
No girl got paid for drinking in another person’s bar. If Lek had a ‘boyfriend’ for an average of say, 20 days a month, she would earn at least: 3,000 basic; say, 4,500 in Lady Drinks; 4,000 in bar fines and 20,000 in escort fees total ing, about 30,000 Baht per
month, which is four times what an armed rookie policeman with a family and a mortgage would earn in a month. Staying in good hotels and eating in the best restaurants were almost everyday occurrences; presents of gold and clothing were bonuses, but regular.
The bar girls trickled into work between four pm and 6 pm.
Lek, Ayr and Goong liked to get in early, because many of the early drinkers were British, other nationalities tended to come out later.
British people tended to be the most generous holidaymakers too, meaning higher drinks payouts at the end of the month. The British were well liked in Pattaya, probably more so than any other nationality, but they were harvested just the same as anyone else.
When the average British male gets to Pattaya he has flown 11,500 km and has been travelling for 20 hours. He is exposed to sun, sand, good, cheap food good, cheap accommodation and thousands of beautiful women, al of whom wil happily talk to him for hours for the price of a cheap, 100 Baht drink.
This bowls the average British male over. It is virtual y impossible to spend 7,000 Baht a day (a typical single holiday maker's budget), so he becomes generous and everybody wins.
Catching them early enough is the trick, while they can stil speak and have not lost their wal ets. Not that Lek ever ‘caught’ anyone; she prided herself on giving value for money. She wanted people to come back for her, she wanted a permanent falang boyfriend.
Once the girls had settled in and everybody had caught up on what everyone else had been doing for the last fifteen hours, Lek went back to see Mama San to apologise again. Mama San was smoking a cigarette, as usual when working, and she eyed Lek approaching her.
“Hi. You OK with me giving your money away like that? If you’re short, I’ll pay it to them, but I had to make an example of you. I would never be able to go back to the vil age and look their parents in the eyes again if anything happened to one of them while she was in my care, so to speak. I guess you’re wondering how I knew you’d slept with that Arab fellah? Ali, wasn’t it?”
“Mmm,” replied Lek. “Yes, I’m OK about the money and yes, I am curious to know how you knew about the teacher and Ali, but if you don’t want to tell me that’s OK too. I know that you like to keep some things secret, that you have your ways and means. I really
came in to say that I’d go cashier for the night, if you wanted to get off and catch up on your sleep after last night.”
“Aw, thanks, love,” said the boss, meaning it. “I really could do with putting my feet up and watching a good film after I’ve put the baby to bed. I can give the sitter the night off too then. She’s been moaning a bit recently that she never has any time. But who does?
That’s what I say. OK, I’ll take you up on that. Give me twenty minutes to get my things together and I’ll be gone.”
She had not said anything about how she knew about the teacher and Lek knew better that to pursue it. Beou never forgot anything, so, if she had not answered the question, it was because she did not intend to. Lek returned to the bar.
The night watch woman had put some rice in the steamer and Beou had bought a bag of pork curry and a bag of cooked vegetables for whoever felt hungry. It was usual y the younger girls that did not have cooking facilities or were temporarily short on funds that needed this and some were eating now, taking advantage of the quiet early evening. Most of the girls had eaten in ‘Mama’s Kitchen’ at some time or another. It cost only pennies to provide, but it meant that no one went hungry and that everyone had enough energy to work until one a.m.
Mama was no-one’s fool.
Mama San came out at that moment with her shopping bags and the keys to her motorcycle.
“OK, ladies, I’m off now. Be good.” she announced. “Lek has offered to stand in for me tonight, so get yourselves decent fellahs while she’s out of action. See you al tomorrow. Oh, and Lek! I nearly forgot. Your teacher man came by at about two o’clock and said to give you this. Apparently, you left it on his bedside table.”
She nonchalantly tossed over a smal bone hair grip and left.
“Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo,” the girls al ululated at once.
The story had got about already and Lek rubbed her bottom and pretended to be embarrassed.
The early afternoon session started very well - mostly middle-aged Brits, mostly drunk and mostly amazed that they were in a country where the bars were ful of young, friendly women wil ing to talk with them, and that they were open al day long, selling beer at reasonable prices. Lek played her rôle as hostess well; she had done it many times before. She might offer a cigarette to those that
sat there a while or introduce a girl or offer to find a partner for a bar game. She had volunteered to be the cashier as atonement and that meant sitting at the back of the bar, control ing the money and the girls, but not often coming to the bar itself.
In Daddy’s Hobby, like most bars, the girls pul ed the punters in by dancing, shouting or posing, took the orders and then delivered the drinks. They also sat with the drinkers, if they wanted, and tried to get Lady Drinks out of them. The order went to the cashier, who wrote a chit for it, she also noted it in a ledger or had a duplicate.
The customer got a copy in a beaker in front of him. When he wanted to cash up, a girl added the chits up and took his payment to the cashier, who checked that al was in order, marked his bil as paid and supplied his change, which the girl took back to him, hoping for a tip. So, the cashier was tied to the til , being the only person with access to the takings and consequently had smal chance of any action. For this reason, and the responsibility and trust necessary, a cashier usually earned twice a normal bar girl’s basic salary.
Mama San usual y worked as cashier.
Lek sat behind a medium sized desk, on which were arranged a duplicate chit book, a sales ledger, a desk diary, a tape deck, a CD
player and the remote control for the TV.
She was in charge of the audio visual entertainment as well as the nocturnal entertainment.
Work was rhythmic. Seven girls were bringing orders on a regular basis; chits had to be written; entries made in the ledger; tapes or CD’s changed; change given; TV channels changed; introductions made; pleasantries exchanged. It al made the time pass quickly.
The regular ‘boyfriends’ of two of the girls, Joy and Deou, Barry and Nick, arrived to take them out at nine o’clock. Lek considered it important to make a special fuss of regular boyfriends, as Mama San did too. ‘Regular boyfriends’ were the girls’ equivalent of a salesman’s hot lead. Every regular boyfriend was a potential ticket out of Pattaya.
A man was considered a regular boyfriend if he came back for the same girl several nights in succession. The best were men that had just arrived, in which case a girl had up to four weeks to get him
to fal for her, to say nothing of the 28 days regular salary.
Often, a regular would arrange to meet his lady in the home bar at eight or nine o’clock; they would have a few drinks (and Lady Drinks) and the bar fine would be discretely made along with his first order. Later, they might go off for a meal and or a show, although the girl would have been working there since four or five o’clock, as usual, just in case he was a ‘no show’. The house rule was to make these men feel special: all the girls chatted them up; al the girls offered to play bar games; al the girls treated them like part of the family.
Part of the family, but not part of the sorority!
Not only gender excluded them from that. Being foreign or falang (as Caucasians are called) excluded them too. It is important to realise the difference. None of the girls would try to steal a col eague’s boyfriend. Every girl wanted the same and every girl would do all she could to help a friend achieve her ambition. If a boyfriend called by when his lady was, say, shopping or something else, al the available girls would make a fuss of him, while Mama San discretely phoned her to tell her to get back to base at break-neck speed. Many girls would try to hedge their bets by going ‘short-time’, if they were not sure of their mark.
Lek took a couple of minutes off to go over; take their order personal y; shake them by the hand; ask them if they were going anywhere special later and offer them a cigarette; then she went back to her paperwork. The rest was up to them now and they were doing al right so far.
Lek looked the party of four over; noticed their body language and weighed them up: they had been seeing their boyfriends for about a week already and had seen them every day and night, which was a very good sign. They were staying in the Marriott and so were not short of money; they were about forty-five years of age, and so were probably not ‘butterflies’ like most younger men and could even be divorced. They dressed smartly. They both came from the same town in South Wales and had flown over together. It was their first time in Thailand and they were into the third week of a four-week stay.
Textbook stuff, she thought, the girls had every chance of success – the boys were as good as married.
She flicked through the TV channels to see if she could find
some footbal , perhaps then they would stay a little longer – after al , al Brits liked footbal , didn’t they?
Two of the other girls, Porn and Or, seemed to be doing well too, out the back, playing pool with two nice enough looking Englishmen. They had a good chance. The rest of the girls were out the front, cajoling passers-by to come to the bar. Mott was attempting to pole dance. She was not very good at it, but to be fair, the pole was not long enough either. Stil , she was having a go and it was funny, if not sexy.
Ayr and Goong pul ed in two drunks at about eleven thirty and seemed happy enough, although Lek thought they were beneath her friends. Stil ! Up to them – she didn’t always get it right either. They ordered a round and straight away they called for the Mama San.
They obviously had some experience in Thailand, although not in Daddy’s Hobby.
“What’s the bar fine on these two wee girls?” one of them slurred.
“And do they speak English?” the other chipped in.
Lek walked over. She could see that this needed delicate handling so she called Fa to take over the til .
“Why you not sit talk with Ayr and Goong first? Have drink.
Make friends,” she suggested, making herself comfortable opposite them.
“They lovely Ladies and speak English OK. My name Lek, I very good friend from them. What name from you?”
“Ach, this is Dougal and yous can call me Jock” one said.
“Hello Ayr, hello Goong, you beautiful young things. You want a drink? And you, Ayr? And you? Lek, did you say your name was?
You ready for another, Dougal?”
Dougal nodded and shook hands with Ayr.
The men’s Scots accents would be difficult for Ayr and Goong to fol ow, thought Lek. It was hard enough for her. Stil , the girls did speak English, so they could have a sort of one-way conversation, if that’s what they wanted. Lek took the gamble that the Scotsmen could not understand Thai, although they could well be residents of Thailand and spoke to her friends in their mother tongue:
“Are you sure you want to go through with this? They’re a bit drunk and they’re already man-handling you, in ful view too. Why
not have a few Lady Drinks; have a laugh; go for a tip and let them wander off later? There’s not long to go now and we can get off home together.”
Fa called for Lek’s attention to a similar matter in the back bar.
“Don’t go anywhere or promise anything until I get back. Tell them the bar fine is 500 each. Talk about anything, I won’t be long”
advised Lek.
“Sorry, boys, I come back in five minutes,” she apologised in English as she headed for the back bar.
The two Englishmen were waiting with Porn and Or, who, knowing the routine had delayed asking for the customers’ bil . Lek looked the girls in the eyes as she approached and silently asked them if they were happy with the situation. They said that they were equal y silently, and so Lek motioned for them al to sit around the nearby corner of the bar behind the cashier’s chair.
