Narsha Bulgakbaev
Learn to be happy! Confidence and Success
Nevertheless, it is the most fundamental and far-reaching activity of our entire lives – the formation of consciousness and behavior. Each of us is doing this all the time, even if we don’t think about it. Minute by minute, hour by hour, we create good or bad, success or failure, happiness or unhappiness. We create all this with the help of thoughts (inner words) stored in our minds, we create based on beliefs, we create scenes, events and stories, and we rehearse all this in the hidden studio inside our mind.
Actors in the secret studio of our minds enact the drama of our lives. The drama of life is rehearsed in the studio of your mind, and what emerges outside is a dramatic performance, which you have unconsciously rehearsed every day and put the script into your mind. This edifice you are constantly constructing is nothing but your Self, your true Self, your identity in life, your life story as a human being, your core.
If you are experienced, intelligent, act rationally, then based on what you know now, you can construct your life constructively. You begin to feel responsible for the information in your mind. You worry about your thoughts and attitudes, which are the actors in the drama of your life.
Let’s say you are going to put on a play. You don’t go out and pick up random people. You choose the most capable actors you can find. May it be the same in your studio of consciousness. Gather actors who can play a good part – love, kindness, loyalty, courage and wisdom. Give them space in your studio, because what you focus on determines your destiny. Your thoughts shape your life through your focus.
THE REAL MAGIC OF PRAISE
What kind of people do you want to meet in life? Will they be happy people who will bring you happiness or will they be tired, closed and desperate people who will try to paint your life gray? Would you be happy to surround yourself with people who make your life happy and bring you joy? There is an easy way to do this. Only a sincere compliment is needed. I mean deep and fair praise, not lies.
I really like the story of one person. This is a thirteen-year-old boy, Italian, living in New York. He could get severe punishment from the teachers because he was always fighting and disorderly. As he continued to show rudeness to the teachers and received severe punishments, his behavior worsened.
In the sixth grade, he met a teacher who was quiet, patient and restrained. one day during recess he asked her to come into the class. He sat down on his chair and pushed the boy next to him. the teacher was silent. The boy who did not feel the first punishment felt strange. «and now let’s start the lesson…". After the lesson, the teacher leaned on the child and said: «I am sure that you are a good child, so if you don’t say bad words and don’t disturb other children anymore, I will take you from my subject without teaching. I’ll give you five, okay?» The boy doesn’t know what to say.
The next day in class, the Teacher looked at her and said with genuine warmth: «You look so beautiful today in your clean dress.» He shrugged and sat up straight. The next day, the collar of the shirt he praised was tied with a worn black tie. The teacher immediately noticed the tie and praised the boy’s shabby tie. A day later, his torn shoes were replaced with new ones, and the shoes themselves were shining. The new Teacher turned to those who had previously taught this child and said, «Praise him and he will change. «Just praise him, and if he doesn’t even obey, cheat him.» When I read this story, I thought, «This is one of the weirdest pieces of advice ever.»
Interestingly, after he grew up, he became the chancellor of Harvard University. Perhaps the fate of this child would have been different, would he have been poor, would he have lived in the slums (the poor dark side of the city) or the brothel (a hidden den of perverts and debauchery), or would it have been worse. But he became a famous academician, because once a teacher tricked him with mere words and showered him with praise.
In the light of «True Praise» everything blooms and flourishes. «True Praise» gives moisture to this life, otherwise all of our hearts would be dry. By praising good deeds, you will be an instrument of goodness in this world. Look at everyone you meet, appreciate their work and show them respect. A simple word of genuine compliment can completely change the personality of the person you come into contact with. Give Praise, for when you do, you act as the «Spirit of Love» in God’s favor.
Brethren, we are called to serve the world as instruments of God’s love. The easiest way to fulfill this destiny is to strive for goodness and praise it, be satisfied with it.
IT IS IMPOSSIPLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE
Do you sometimes feel frustrated because you can’t please, please, or please other people? Do you feel like you’ve spent your life trying to help and please other people, and instead you get harsh reprimands and false explanations for your actions? If so, then let me share with you a short sentence (sentence) by Montaigne (a French Renaissance writer and philosopher): «A man needs a strong ear to speak freely about himself.»
No matter how careful and conscientious we are, there will always be someone who misinterprets our actions and principles. When someone spends their money easily, there will always be someone who thinks that person is mot (wasteful) or extravagant (strange). Conversely, if you are careful with your finances, someone will call you stingy. Someone with a more liberal (libertarian) view than yours will accuse you of being inert (backward) and conservative (anti-progressive). If his views are more conservative than yours, he will call you a hopeless liberal. Again, if someone disagrees with our position, we call that person «misunderstood.» To be honest, we often blame others more than ourselves.
If a person does not do something, then he is accused of inaction. If a person does something, then he is blamed for this action. The same people may praise us for our actions or criticize us every now and then. When we try to please others, we must remember that no one person can please everyone, because everyone is different. I doubt that anyone, including me, has ever made at least one person, including themselves, truly happy in their lifetime. That’s why I write books about happiness.
Are you always happy with yourself? I’m ready to argue. No matter what you pursue, there will always be someone who asks why you don’t do something else. Therefore, the best thing we can do is to understand ourselves, others, life, the Creator with our mind and heart, and act according to our beliefs based on real truth. We should always be willing to admit that we are wrong, but hope that others will forgive us for our mistakes. If we expect tolerance from other people, then we must be tolerant ourselves. And we should always remember the words of the wise Montaigne: «a man needs strong ears to hear a free opinion about himself.» If your loved one tries to judge your actions, remember these simple words: «I can’t please everyone.» If you try to «blend» into the crowd, you’ll never have a chance to be your true self to everyone.
Go ahead and know who you are, know and fully understand that some people will definitely criticize you (criticism). Keep praying for them and doing your best. If you live authentically, you will always be criticized.
IGNITION TICKET
Have you ever had to replace your car’s ignition switch? It’s very easy. You come to the garage, the mechanic opens the hood of your car, leans over, disconnects the electrical wire, unscrews the ignition key with a wrench, plugs in a new one, connects the electrical wire – and within five minutes you can drive. Replacing the ignition switch is pretty easy, isn’t it? Let’s say you walk into the garage, ask the mechanic to change the ignition coil, and he immediately starts to remove the right front wheel from your car. You might think he’s a little out of his mind. You get angry and protest and say that only the ignition coil needs to be replaced, not the wheel.
One day my friend came to see me. He has a new sports car and he explained to me that he had to remove the right front wheel to replace the ignition coil! And it turned out to be true. Can you imagine the owner of such a car coming to the mechanic for the first time and asking to replace the ignition switch, and the mechanic calmly begins to remove the front right wheel and his reaction? As I said, the owner of the car may protest angrily. However, my friend assured me that the procedure for removing the wheel (dismantling) takes no more than two minutes, and when it is removed, it turns out that it is very easy to remove and replace the ignition coil.
This is a lesson for all of us. We see things like removing the front wheel (dismantling) and wonder why our lives are the way they are. We solve the problem, but the solution begins to take shape in a way that is completely incomprehensible to us. We expect the solution to come into our lives in the most obvious way, like someone lifting the hood and removing the ignition key, but sometimes the solution is quite different.
We are looking for a way out of family problems, but the way is, for example, to change jobs. we start taking care of our health, but basically we just need to change the way we think and act. The point of the spark plug and the front tire is that we shouldn’t judge the solution to our problems or how good things come into our lives because we don’t know the easy way, and we need to learn it. The universe is a large and complex system. We can never understand the complexity of the paths of universal causes in our universe, and so is our life.
We can say, «Great, I accept that life is on my side. I embrace all the good things in life, no matter where they come from, and I look forward to the end result.» Here, my brothers and sisters, is a great and vital Truth in a nutshell: Do not expect YOUR PROBLEMS TO BE SOLVED IN ANY WAY YOU KNOW. It is best if you let go of your preconceived notions and open up to the inspiration of the Universal Mind. It may mean disassembling your front wheel of your life to get a faulty ignition switch, but the result will be better than you think. Trust your inner guidance, let the solution come in any form – and your problems will be solved simply and without difficulty.
HAPPY TO BE UNHAPPY
Are you happy or do you consider yourself an unhappy person? I think that each of us can decide for ourselves which category we belong to, without paying attention to the opinions of others.
History knows many examples of people who achieved great success on the outside, but were complete failures on the inside. For example, Alexander the Great, who conquered the entire known world at that time, but he could not cope with his harshness, and because he wanted it so badly, he considered himself an unfortunate person.
Napoleon was loved by millions of subjects, but the only person he really wanted to win was his wife, Josephine, who denied him this feeling. Although Napoleon loved Josephine very much, his wife never truly loved him. That is why Napoleon considered himself unhappy.
Think of Goethe: he was one of the great poets and writers, but his desire to be an artist was greater than anything else. At the beginning of his life, he was engaged in painting for many years, but never achieved the results he wanted. In the end, he considered himself a miserable person. Imagine: Goethe considered himself unhappy!
In turn, the great artist Whistler wanted to become a poet, but, as luck would have it, he realized that he had no poetic talent and returned to painting. but in the field of poetry, from his point of view, he remained unhappy.
Finally, think of Hans Christian Andersen. his fairy tales were respected in the world of children’s literature, but he could only communicate with children through his books. in personal meetings, children did not like him, and in this sense, Andersen considered himself an unhappy person.
I gave you an example of unhappy people, now look at yourself again and ask: are you a happy person or an unhappy person? If you’re honest with yourself, you think you’ll only find happiness in those areas where your God-given talents are displayed. However, talent is different, ability is different. Talent is just a person’s belief, and ability is learning. When you deliberately try to challenge your ability, you will be unlucky (or so you feel). There are many opportunities to express ourselves in this world, so many people are fighting for it. You are not given a talent that no one else has, everyone is given the same abilities, so you can discover your abilities without looking for talent. Why do you turn your life into a struggle for self-expression? Everyone will see you, but do not chase this goal, remember that there are higher goals. Abilities only unlock if you learn, so you need to learn, not fight. Most people don’t know how much hard work and time goes into each side of the fake word called «talent». They are just amazed by the results.
Don’t think, «If I use my God-given talents, I’ll always be happy.» All this is a false belief of your own invention or acquired from the outside, and it also prevents you from discovering your abilities. You can achieve great success in life only when you discover your abilities.
All you need is the ability to recognize your abilities and follow them wherever they lead you.
But don’t let the initial setbacks hold you back. Say, «This is not for me. I’ll get over it and move on.»» Free yourself, move forward, and you will discover all your abilities.
HUT OR PALACE?
in what environment, in what situation do you spend today? Will this environment be bright and rewarding or dull and boring?
Once Charles Kingsley was visited by a friend who lived in the Himalayas. when he entered Kingsley’s cottage in a small village, his friend, Charles Kingsley, who lived at home, felt sorry for him and said to him: «How sad it is to live in this small house, in a lonely place, when there is so much fun going on in the world around us, such as hunting,» etc. b. Kingsley looked at him with a calm smile, «You know my friend, I’ve realized for a long time that my house can either be a dungeon or my castle. Thank God, I made the right decision, and it turned my house into a palace.»
Think about this as you prepare for today. Do you want to work in a workplace where you work every day? Do you go to the same office or shop that you go to every day? Look at your other life. Open your eyes. Understand that they do not exist by themselves. You and only you have the power to make them that way.
Do you think that your home is ordinary and simple? Today is the time to think differently. Turn it into a castle with the power of your mind. Wash, scrub and polish it and treat it like a shed. Your office? Has it become a dull and boring place for you? Take another look. You should see your office not only as a place where you spend part of your life, but also as a palace worthy of a precious life. You create your own life and environment. You decide what the environment will be. To me, this two-line poem is very simple:
When two people looked out of the dungeon at night, one saw mud, the other saw stars.
What would you like to see in your home, office, classroom, store today? You can turn them into a shed, as it is only up to you to turn them into a hut or a shed. Use the power of your creative imagination. Use the infinite power of the mind constructively, and you will live in a palace fit for a king or queen today.
PATIENCE AND ENDURANCE
When I was sick, I was taught that the first thing I needed was patience, and to be honest, that thought made me angry at the time. it seemed to me that this really means: you have to wait for what you want (healing) until Destiny (Creator) allows you to write. But it wasn’t until I got sick that I began to understand the value of patience, and especially what the opposite of impatience is. I believe patience is important because impatience is costly. Imagine a person who comes to you saying he bought a new car. You know very well that he is lying. This is because he will pay a small amount for the car loan at the beginning, and then he will have to pay it over a long period of time. He drives the car until it wears out or he stops enjoying it, or until he gets a new one, he forgets about his old car and is interested in it and borrows it again. That’s a steep price to pay for your impatience. Maybe we need to get to the point where we can buy a car with cash, we teach ourselves not to get rich like that.
One day I was talking to a man who was not rich. She bought an electric guitar for her son, signed the loan documents, and was very worried that he would not approve the loan. «Why are you so worried?» I asked. «My son can’t wait!» he answered. What a price: while a young man strums his electric guitar, his mother is scared to death a thousand times because of his impatience! The saddest example I could find, before coronovirus, was in a local newspaper article. It told about a boy who was sent to a penitentiary for stealing. The judge asked him «will you give money or not?» he asked. The boy answered yes. Then the judge said, «Why did you steal when the judge will give you the money?» he asks. «Mom doesn’t come home until half past six, and the movie starts at six exactly, and I feel like I’m going to die if I miss the premiere of this movie,» answered the boy. Within thirty minutes this boy had ruined his life. Impatience is often very costly.
We need the greatest patience when dealing with other people. It is not always easy. When something goes wrong with people, they become angry and angry, and then their loved ones have to summon all their patience. Harsh words are spoken, but we have to admit that this is not the wonderful person we used to know, but the person who speaks to us, who is sick inside. As you can see, impatience costs us, and patience sets us free.
Prophet Jesus had the greatest endurance. even in court, he did not rebel, although he was unjustly convicted. When he nailed it to the curb, he said, «God, forgive them, for they know not what they do.» This is a tolerance that you and I cannot achieve. But at least we try to achieve such tolerance and patience.
A word for young people and children. When you are impatient with your parents, when they keep asking you where you are and what you are doing, watching you, showing you distrust, when you find it difficult to behave yourself, remember: it is not because they want to know everything about you, but because they care about you. Remember, the cost of impatience is huge, but if you stop and think differently, you won’t have to pay for it and you won’t owe anyone anything.
PAINFUL VAND BORING LIFE
Are you trying to improve the work you need and successfully tackle the challenges ahead?
Or do you just work as hard as you can to get things done?
My father thought about this a long time ago when he was walking down the street. Odd saw a man painting a wall on the stairs. He moves his brush back and forth: right-left, right-left. He wasn’t paying attention to his work and it was obvious that he was thinking about something else. He thought, «Oh, what a painful and boring job.»
A few minutes later he walked into an office where a woman was sitting and pounding on an old address machine where you had to press keys and turn the handle up and down. He hummed softly to the sound of a metronome-like machine that brought the rhythm to his singing. He realized that his work rhythm is not a metronome, but a heart rhythm that regulates the work of the machine. He wisely returned to the artist who painted the column with a brush and thought: «He is gone now, and it is a pity that he did not see the work of this woman.» The woman really enjoyed her work.
I think that we get from work only what we invest in it, and if we want to get something, we should do it with interest, especially if we want to achieve something good and useful. Good and useful things should be done with passion and interest. if work is done as slavery, then those who use its fruits will feel our destructive coldness. I thought about this artist, he probably worked to feed his wife and children, I’m sure his lifestyle «naugad» will be passed on to his family.
Many people, especially in churches, mosques, spend a lot of time and money on organized charities, giving or collecting money on a schedule, so that they allow acts of love and goodness to arise spontaneously from within. whatever you do, do it with passion, care, and love – even if you’re polishing silverware. polish your silver fit for kings. do your daily work with joy, satisfaction and gratitude. when you give a gift, give it with love. When praying, do not use words whose meaning has long been lost. pray earnestly and fervently. your prayers should be full of life and dynamism (proof by action). it must be a part of you.
We will never emerge from the pit of our existence until we return to the truth that exists outside of ourselves. I believe that the sense of hopelessness that surrounds our world today is like a fog that has emerged from our weakness and our lives.
Whether you live as a «naugad» or whether it will be full of inner joy and happiness – it depends only on you. you have to make your own choices and decide what will happen in your life and affairs.
BETWEEN VICTORY AND DEFEAT
I’m sure you’ve seen a micrometer at least once. it’s a very melodious name for a very simple instrument. A micrometer is a device that can measure very small distances with an accuracy of one-thousandth of an inch (2.54 cm). When I first saw a micrometer, I asked myself, «Why on earth do you need to measure such small distances?» But then I read about a building that collapsed, killing many people and causing hundreds of thousands of dollars in damage. An investigation into the accident revealed that it was caused by a calculation error of a thousandth of an inch. As a result of temperature fluctuations and errors of thousandths of an inch, the building collapsed, killing many people.
Such a narrow margin, such a small distance between stability and disaster! I wonder how it looks like in our life. sometimes there is a very narrow line between winning and losing. We all know of people who have worked for years to achieve their goals, and when they get close to achieving their goals, they lose faith, hope, and strength, stop everything, and say, «I’m defeated.»
Henry wrote a wonderful poem that beautifully illustrates these points:
The difference between defeat and victory is so small that people unfortunately do not know how to take it…
Giving up does not mean giving up. There is only one step between defeat and victory, and only our perseverance allows us to pass through the thousandth of an inch with ease and ease. Another thing is that apparent defeat turns into real success.
Yes, brethren, a micrometer measures distances of one-thousandth of an inch, and you may be making the greatest success of one-thousandth of an inch at this very moment. It requires more research and work. The distance between Victory and Defeat is like between Ekinti and Aksham.
LIFE MEASURED IN STEPS
Pomegranate is one of my favorite fruits. It is also called «Indian apple». One of my favorite things to do as a child was to go to the grocery store and buy pomegranates, which I thought were very healthy.
This wonderful fruit has one interesting feature. Although the seeds are tasty, juicy and sweet, they have a very bitter taste, and are separated into small clusters with thin yellow flesh. If you try to bite into a pomegranate, you will get a piece of bitterness instead of pleasure.
However, if you eat your own pomegranate from a single seed, it is a real delicacy. That’s how it is in life. You can’t live life in one fell swoop – you can live it day by day. If you get a cut, the cut won’t heal for a second. Your recovery begins the moment you cut yourself and continues every day, every minute. You can’t learn all at once – one school day followed by another.
Losing a loved one in one day is impossible to overcome. Getting over a loss is a long-term process, and if you learn to live anew each day, you will survive the loss and start a new life.
So the simple truth is that life cannot be lived in one moment. you live day by day, which means you need patience and diligence in building a life. If you have a broken arm, try to move it a little today. if you are sick, try to feel a little better today. tell yourself that today you have moved a little further, and gradually everything you want in your life will come true and will never end (resurrection).
If you face a big problem today, don’t try to solve it in one day. try to find the root cause today and you will be much closer to solving the overall problem. If you look at all your problems at once, life may seem very difficult to you. if you have sick children to take care of or elderly/sick parents and other responsibilities that require responsibility, then life may feel like you are living in hell. basically everything is the opposite. you are in the paradise of life right now, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
But you don’t have to deal with all of life’s problems at once. you just have to deal with today’s problems. I can leave you with one simple thought to help you: «To live by running is punishment, but to live by walking is happiness.» It is not necessary to solve all the problems of life at once, but only the problems of today. You just have to face the challenge of the moment.
LOBSTER TRAP
Do you like lobster? Most people in England love lobster. Do you know how these crabs are caught? They catch the scorpion with a very simple device that allows it to easily enter, and then the scorpion cannot get out. There are many such traps in our life.
We humans often face life’s problems without even thinking about them and what a heavy burden they put on us. Most of us are ready to put our signature on any page without thinking. It’s getting easier to fool us these days.
I believe that a big reason for family discord and people being stockpile is the refusal to think about responsibility. This applies to all aspects of our life: loans, signing documents, any contracts. Many people like to follow the crowd. They become puppets for others and are easily deceived.
It’s easy to sign, easy to fall into a trap, easy to say yes, easy to promise – but then it’s very difficult to follow through, to pay, and it takes a lot of stress and regret. responsibility is easy to accept but hard to keep, and sometimes we find that the confidence we gain from fulfilling that responsibility turns into stress. we follow the crowd rather than in front of it, follow fashion, trends, stereotypes, fixed ideas, obey our personal pride and make short-sighted, quick decisions to keep up with others. we must at any rate seek to satisfy our desires, and in the days to come, the coming of the day of repayment, and the desire to repay the payment required of us. the responsibility, the energy expended, the time expended – everything we have to pay must be weighed carefully.
We must avoid dubious responsibility. you need to look carefully at your life, consider all responsibilities reasonably and do not rush to sign your name or fall into a scorpion’s trap. Responsibilities are easy to assume, difficult to fulfill, and sometimes impossible to avoid. guidance or punishment? once when the great gautama buddha (the founder of buddhism) was teaching people in a small village, he took out a brown pebble from his robe and said, «Here is my teacher!» said. He then explained that he was walking along the road that day and didn’t notice the beauty of the world around him until a small pebble landed on his sandal. He had to stop on the road and take it down, so that he suddenly saw the blue sky, the beauty of the trees, smelled the flowers growing along the road, and even saw the bright colors on the wings of a butterfly. «I passed by the beauty but didn’t notice until this little pebble stopped me,» he said. Unfortunately, this is true, and we learn more easily through punishment than instruction. As we journey through life, two paths are always open to us: the path of free choice and the path of compulsion. We can consciously choose to cooperate with the Universal Mind. We can choose to evolve, to improve, to change for the better. But if we do not choose it ourselves, then it is forced upon us. We obey the «law of progressive motion». If we don’t choose to grow, we force it through practice lessons, and as some know, practice (testing) can be a very harsh teacher.
Many people believe that there is a struggle between the forces of good and evil in the world. There is no evidence in the world of two forces colliding. then what is the cause of human suffering and panic? its reason is a misunderstanding of the truth. when man’s understanding rises to new heights, his world rises from chaos and destruction.
Behind every success, healing, miracle, there is a simple reason – an idea. idea will make a million dollars, it will cure an incurable disease. it can restore all life! if you are open to new ideas, they will come to you. sometimes they come as sudden insights, sometimes they take a detour and come to you by faith from the pages of a book, from a conversation with a friend, from the voice of a mentor. ideas are our way out of self-imposed limitations that can become our prison and hell. All you need is an idea to cure any situation in your life. that’s why prayer and meditation are such an important part of a successful life – they open you up to inspiration and insight. if you pray and meditate regularly, you will never stop getting new ideas. Although new ideas may not come during prayer and meditation, they will eventually.
