Сергей Гладков The Human Being as a Multilevel System

Introduction

He was going to answer calmly.

He had almost decided it in advance. Even before the conversation, he had gone over it several times in his mind: how everything should go, without harshness, without accusations, without the old habit of defending himself before anyone had really attacked him. He even felt a quiet satisfaction with this inner preparation. This time he would be different. This time he would not lose control. This time he would not let the conversation go where it had gone so many times before.

But the conversation began, and a few minutes later he heard his own voice.

Not the voice he had meant to use.

The voice was harder, faster, drier. The words came out almost on their own. He already understood that he was saying something different from what he had wanted to say, but he could not stop. Some part of him seemed to be standing nearby, looking at what was happening in confusion: why am I doing this? I did not want this. I had decided otherwise.

Later, when the conversation was over and the tension had passed, one strange sentence remained:

"I do not understand why I did that."

This sentence seems simple. We say it after arguments, after harsh actions, after strange decisions, after words we had not meant to say. Sometimes it sounds almost ordinary: I did not sleep enough, I was tired, I was emotional. Sometimes it feels heavier: as if, for a few minutes, a person had not quite been himself. Not in a mystical sense, not in the sense that consciousness disappeared, but in a very recognizable human sense: the intention was one thing, and the action became another.

And it is precisely here that the first doubt appears.

Not a catastrophe. Not proof that the familiar picture of the human being is completely false. Not a reason to declare at once that personality is an illusion. For now, only doubt: a small mismatch between how a person usually imagines himself and how he sometimes finds himself in action.

Usually we think of ourselves as if there were some coherent point inside. Someone who knows what he wants. Someone who makes decisions. Someone who observes thoughts, controls reactions, chooses words, and keeps the direction of life. We may call this "I", character, will, personality, or an inner center. The names differ, but the intuition is often the same: somewhere inside there is the one who is me.

But everyday experience constantly brings situations in which this picture begins to tremble.

A person wants one thing and does another.

He decides to change, but returns to the old.

He knows that something is harmful to him, but chooses it again.

He loves a person and hurts that person at the same time.

He says, "I understand everything," and a week later repeats the old mistake.

He looks at his own action and does not recognize himself in it.

Such moments are rarely seen as philosophical. They are too personal, too awkward, too ordinary. But that is exactly why they matter. A philosophy of the human being does not begin only in abstract questions about consciousness, freedom, or personality. Sometimes it begins in a kitchen after a failed conversation, in the silence after a flash of irritation, in a message that should not have been sent, in a decision that was made as if faster than the person had time to ask himself.

There are quieter cases too, cases that do not look dramatic. A person buys something he does not need, although in the morning he promised himself to be more careful with money. He opens an app for a minute and discovers that forty minutes have passed. He agrees to a request although he wanted to refuse. He stays silent where he meant to say something important. He smiles when he is angry. He puts off a call that another person is waiting for, and he himself cannot explain why this call has become so difficult.

All this can be explained by weakness, habit, tiredness, or social pressure. Sometimes that is exactly what should be done. But when such situations repeat, they begin to speak not only about a particular weakness. They show that a person does not always coincide with the image of himself that appears in calm reflection.

Doubt does not begin when a person makes a mistake. One can make mistakes even in the simplest model. Doubt begins when a mistake reveals an inner mismatch: I thought I knew myself, but in action something appeared that I had not taken into account.

The first question of this book is born from here:

is the human being really arranged as he seems to himself?

The Most Familiar Picture

The most familiar picture of the human being almost needs no proof. From the inside, it seems obvious.

I wake up in the morning and feel that it is I who woke up.

I remember yesterday and consider it mine.

I make a decision, and it seems to be my decision.

I say "I think", "I want", "I remember", "I chose", and language easily gathers all of this around one center. In ordinary life it could hardly be otherwise. If before every simple action we had to clarify exactly which process is now taking part in experience, speech would become impossible. We say "I" not because each time we build a theory of the subject, but because this is how the practical coherence of experience works.

And there is strength in this coherence.

A human being really does experience himself not as a set of scattered flashes, but as someone who continues. He can remember his childhood, recognize himself in a photograph, feel shame for an old action, pride in something done many years ago, and anxiety about tomorrow. His life is not given to him as a pile of separate frames. It gathers into a story.

This is why the objection appears almost at once:

"But I feel that I am myself."

And this objection cannot simply be thrown away. It would be a crude mistake to say: if a person sometimes contradicts himself, then the feeling of wholeness is worth nothing. It is worth a great deal. Without it, it would be hard to act, answer for one's actions, build relationships, keep promises, learn from the past, and plan the future. The feeling of being oneself is not a random illusion that can be removed with one sentence.

But the question is not whether this feeling exists.

The question is different: what exactly does it describe?

When a person says, "I feel like myself," he may mean the stability of a name, a body, memory, habits, a way of speaking, or connections with other people. He may mean a recognizable inner style: this is how I usually react, this is how I fear, this is how I rejoice, this is how I defend myself. He may mean a feeling of continuity: yesterday it was me, today it is me, tomorrow it will probably be me too.

But it does not follow from this that there is a separate unchanging center inside that controls everything else.

Here it is important not to hurry.

The familiar picture is built like this: there is an inner self, and it is the source of coherence. It sees, decides, chooses, directs. Thoughts may change, moods may change, the body may age, circumstances may break, but somewhere deeper than all this there seems to remain the one who passes through the changes.

This picture is convenient. It makes the person understandable to himself. It is supported by language, culture, morality, law, and biography. We ask, "Why did you do that?" and expect one responsible answer. We say, "Get hold of yourself." As if there is someone who must take hold, and someone who must be taken hold of. We say, "I am fighting with myself." As if inside one human being there are already at least two sides, while we still assume that somewhere there is a main owner of this struggle.

Everyday speech is full of such hidden images.

A person "controls himself."

A person "lost himself."

A person "found himself."

A person "betrayed himself."

A person "was not himself."

These expressions are not accidental. They show that our usual model of the human being assumes unity and constantly meets its disturbance at the same time. We speak about ourselves as one, but describe our life as a field of inner mismatches.

And as long as everything goes calmly enough, the contradiction is not visible.

But once a strong conflict appears, the familiar picture begins to fail.

At this point it is important to notice: the familiar picture is not stupid. It has not remained in place for so long by accident. A human being needs to feel that he is the one who can answer for words and actions. Without this, the fabric of everyday life itself would fall apart. It is impossible to begin every morning with the question of who exactly woke up today and to what extent he is connected with yesterday. Ordinary life requires a reduction of complexity.

But reducing complexity is not always the same as explaining. Sometimes it only makes life possible.

When a person says "I", he uses the shortest way to gather many processes into one practical point. This is convenient, necessary, and often quite enough. But the book begins where this is no longer enough. It begins where the practical word "I" starts to present itself as a final description of the inner structure of the human being.

The First Mismatches

The first mismatch appears between intention and action.

A person decides not to check his phone before sleep, but reaches for it again. He decides not to enter an argument, but is already answering. He decides to begin important work in the morning, but by evening discovers that he has done everything except that work. In each separate case, an explanation can be found: habit, tiredness, anxiety, weak discipline. But if we look more carefully, something becomes visible: intention is not an absolute center of control.

It can be strong and still lose.

The second mismatch appears between knowledge and reaction.

A person knows that no one meant to offend him, but he feels offended. He knows that the danger is small, but he is anxious. He knows that an old fear no longer fits the situation, but the body reacts as if it still does. He can explain everything to himself correctly and still experience it differently. This means that knowledge does not always rebuild experience at once. Inside a human being there are levels that change at different speeds.

The third mismatch appears between values and actions.

A person considers himself honest, but in a concrete situation avoids the truth. He considers himself attentive, but does not hear someone close. He considers himself free, but again does what is expected of him. After this he may feel guilt, shame, or irritation with himself. But the very fact of this experience shows that inside there is no simple line from belief to action.

The fourth mismatch appears in time.

What seemed important yesterday may become indifferent today. What seemed impossible in youth may later become ordinary. A person may look at an old photograph and recognize himself, while also thinking: "How could I live like that? How could I think like that? How was that even me?" He is not completely foreign to himself, but he is not completely the same either.

The fifth mismatch appears in relationships.

With one person we become softer, with another harder. In one environment we speak with confidence, in another we lose our voice. At home a person may be one way, at work another, with parents a third, and alone a fourth. Usually we do not take this as proof of a multiple personality. But it shows that the coherence of a human being depends not only on an inner center. It is supported by situations, roles, expectations, the memory of relationships, and the reactions of other people.

The sixth mismatch appears between the image of oneself and the view of others.

A person may be sure that he is calm, while those close to him have long known that on certain topics he instantly becomes sharp. He may consider himself independent, while from the outside it is visible how strongly his decisions depend on approval. He may say, "I am not offended," but his silence, tone, gestures, and delays in answering tell another story. Other people sometimes notice in us what we ourselves do not include in our picture.

This is unpleasant. It feels as if we are being deprived of the right to inner truth. But the point is not that another person always knows us better. The point is that self-access is not absolute. A person is given to himself from the inside, but not completely. Others see external repetitions that he may not notice, because each time he experiences the situation as new.

The seventh mismatch appears between decision and time.

At the moment of decision, a person may be sincere. He really wants to begin again, stop repeating the old, leave a destructive connection, write a book, change profession, learn to speak more honestly. But after a week, a month, or a year, it turns out that the decision has not become a stable form of life. It was real, but it could not stabilize. This means that the sincerity of a decision is not yet the same as a reconfiguration of the whole system of experience.

These examples do not prove that there is no center.

They do something smaller, but more important at the beginning: they show that the usual confidence in a center is not enough.

If there is one controlling source inside, why is it so often not the only participant in what happens? Why can a person argue with himself? Why can an action begin before a decision becomes clear? Why can a reaction contradict knowledge? Why can a past self seem both mine and foreign? Why do different situations call out different versions of a person?

One can answer: because the human being is complex.

That is true, but too general.

To say "the human being is complex" is to admit the problem, but not yet to explain it. Complexity must be described in such a way that it is not reduced back to one small controlling center that, for some reason, keeps failing to cope.

This is where a more delicate task appears.

Not to destroy the idea of the human being.

But to check which elements of this idea are truly necessary.

Here a second objection appears:

"But are all these mismatches not explained by ordinary psychology? Why make a philosophical question out of them?"

This objection is fair insofar as it protects us from premature metaphysics. Indeed, much can be described psychologically: habits, defensive reactions, traumas, impulses, social roles, cognitive distortions. This book does not cancel such explanations and does not try to replace them with one large formula.

But the philosophical question appears in another place. A psychological description often says which processes take part in behavior. Here we are also interested in why we keep imagining the human being as if all these processes should come together in one inner center. Why, with such clear multiplicity of levels, are we still so sure of simple unity? Why does it seem to us that behind all changes there must stand one unchanging owner?

This is what makes the question philosophical.

Not that a person sometimes makes mistakes.

But that the familiar model of the human being itself may be too simple for the experience it tries to explain.

Doubt

Doubt about the familiar picture does not arise where a person simply makes a mistake.

Mistakes can be explained by lack of information, chance, or external pressure. Something else is much more important: a person sometimes discovers that he is not fully transparent to himself.

He may not understand why exactly that word hurt him.

Not understand why he avoids a conversation.

Not understand why he repeats the same scenario.

Not understand why he cannot do what he considers necessary.

Not understand why in a certain situation he seems to become younger, weaker, sharper, or more helpless.

In such moments, a person does not simply meet an external difficulty. He meets the fact that his own experience is organized less simply than it seems.

One can imagine a human being as a room with a manager standing in the center. He sees all the screens, receives all the signals, makes decisions, and gives commands. This metaphor is familiar, even if we rarely formulate it openly. But real experiences are often less like a control room and more like many processes trying to coordinate with one another.

Some processes hold past experience.

Others react to threat.

Others support the image of oneself.

Others orient themselves toward the expectations of other people.

Others pull toward the habitual way of acting.

Others try to build a new line of behavior.

In a calm situation, all this may look unified. But in tension, coherence becomes visible precisely because it begins to break.

Inner conflict is one of the simplest entrances into this problem.

"I want to leave, and I am afraid to leave."

"I want change, and I want to keep the old."

"I want to tell the truth, and I am afraid to destroy the relationship."

"I want to be free, and I want to be approved."

"I want to begin again, and I hold on to the old version of myself."