Ольга Анатольевна Анищенко
The Puzzle of Elijah
“God tells me to sell this house to this man,” the owner proclaimed pointing at my Father.
“Thank you so much for selling the house to us without even checking our credit history or income. We feel God’s love to us through your action,” my Father responded gratefully.
My parents bought the house and felt so lucky. The payment was low; once more God took care of us. At this time, man’s word and a handshake was his bond. We remodeled the house and our Mom opened a child care business in it. We all helped her.
…….
My husband’s parents, Sergey and Olga Anischenko, lived in Sukhumi, in the country of Georgia, where Oleg was born. Within a year, they moved 6,300 miles to Nakhodka, Russia, by the Japanese Sea, to be closer to his Mother’s family. Oleg was the second son in the family of five sons and one daughter. Both of his parents worked as tailors at a sewing company, and his Father had a second job, as a stoker at a coal company. They lived in their own house and had enough land to grow fruits, vegetables and berries. They worked hard to make a living.
The Christians in Russia and all the satellite countries were persecuted. In 1976, many Christian families sought to immigrate to America for religious reasons. Oleg’s Father was persecuted and arrested for his religious, human rights work. When the iron curtain finally collapsed, Oleg’s family was allowed to emigrate in 1988.
On a train, they rode 100 miles to Vladivostok. Then they flew 6,000 miles to Moscow, to get their immigration papers. Two weeks later they were able to board the train to Austria. Their family had purchased train tickets for a coupe wagon with beds, which is like a small room for the family. When Oleg’s Father tried to enter the train, he was pushed out by a military commander.
“Go to the back of the train and ride with soldiers,” – the commander said.
“But we have small children and bought the tickets for the coupe,” – Oleg’s Father objected.
“You will ride with soldiers today,” – the commander answered rudely.
Oleg’s family rushed to the back of the train, pushing their luggage on a metal cart. Oleg’s younger brother was running in front of the cart. He tripped, fell and his leg was deeply cut by the cart. The family had no time to stop. They simply picked him up and rushed to the train, where two nice ladies helped them aboard and assisted in binding the wound.
Oleg’s parents, brothers & sister. Oleg is the second tallest in the back.
Oleg’s family lived in Austria for two months and then immigrated to Italy. In Italy, they waited for another two months for a sponsor and documents, allowing them to enter the United States. Finally, they were able to take a plane to New York, and then to San Francisco. Due to a long flight and the time change, they were exhausted. On the flight to San Francisco, Oleg’s sister went through the checkpoint, boarded the plane into the first-class seating, and fell asleep without her family knowing where she had gone. Oleg’s fourteen-year-old brother, trying to be helpful, went to look for her with one of the airport security staff. Her parents found her sleeping inside the plane, but the older brother failed to make the flight. Thus, another flight for the brother had to be arranged by the sponsor. You can only imagine the stress Oleg’s parents went through while immigrating to America.
In San Francisco, earlier Russian immigrants from the church of Alexander A. Shevchenko, who came to America during 1940s, helped them. Oleg’s family lived in their church for two months before renting a small apartment. At the school they attended, Oleg and his siblings were the only white students. The other students consisted of African Americans, Hispanics and Phillippinos. This was very different than Russia. As their cultural knowledge grew and their language skills improved, America became less foreign.
After two years, Oleg’s family moved into the smaller, quieter and more affordable city of Modesto, California. Together, Oleg’s parents sewed for themselves and for others. More Russian people immigrated to Modesto and established a Russian church there. Oleg’s Mother taught Russian and Bible school, and led a children’s choir. She is a very positive and knowledgeable person. Oleg’s Father was kind and had high expectations for his sons. Unfortunately, diabetes disabled him at the age of 35 and his health was weak.
…….
3
Marriage is for life and divorce is a sin. If you
have problems, you work them out.
Some of my cousins lived in Modesto. In time, my extended family became friends with Oleg’s family. A year later, our cousins moved to live in Vancouver and Oleg came to visit them. The first time he saw me, he shared with my cousins that he liked me very much. They did not hesitate to report that news immediately to me. I was only fifteen years old and thought I was too young for love.
Two years later, one of my cousins opened an Auto Body shop in Vancouver. He knew that Oleg was responsible, so he invited him to come and work in his shop. Oleg thought this would be a great learning opportunity to improve his automotive skills. Plus, as he told me later, he could not wait to see me again. With the blessing of his parents, he moved to Vancouver to live and work. However, he had also promised his Father that he would return to Modesto after a year.
At this time, Oleg was nineteen years old and I was seventeen. We often saw each other in church and sometimes at my cousin’s home. Soon, Oleg started calling me. The third time I talked to him on the phone, he shared his feelings about me.
“Olga, I really like you. I am serious about this and, with time, I would like to marry you. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”
Oleg’s words really scared me. I barely knew him and wasn’t ready for a relationship, much less marriage, so I kept answering, “I don’t know.”
“Olga, do you know anything?” Oleg asked, impatiently.
“Oleg, I just started college. Give me time to concentrate on my education. If you are very serious, call me back in a year,” I answered politely.
That year hadn’t been easy for both of us. For some reason, I could easily talk to other youth in church, but not to Oleg. I avoided him and did unkind things to him. For example, he would quietly wait in the hallway to speak to me after the service, but I would intentionally pass by without looking at him or greeting him. It was if he did not exist. I knew that Christians should not do this. Maybe I had those feelings of love for him inside me, but I did not want to recognize it.
During the year, Oleg had returned to Modesto, as he promised to his parents. Exactly one year after I asked Oleg to call me back in a year, he called me and said,
“Olga, the year has passed, but I still love you so much. Would you consider being my girlfriend?”
I was so shocked. During the year we had communicated very little. I was happy to hear his voice.
“I was not nice to you, Oleg. Would you ever forgive me?” I asked.
“I love you so much, Olga. I forgive you and would like to spend the rest of my life with you,” Oleg said with a calming voice. “Would you consider dating me, please?”
“Give me a day to think and pray about this,” I asked.
Oleg promised to call me the next day. With blond hair, blue eyes and a big beautiful smile, Oleg was the nicest young man I had ever met. He was always friendly and polite. I liked him, and my parents liked him too. I knew if I entered a relationship with him, it was a serious step and promising basically to date him exclusively. Was I ready to do this? Did I want to do this? After much praying and asking for God’s blessing, I agreed to enter into a friendship with Oleg. That relationship has grown into a great love.
For the next nine months, Oleg would drive to Vancouver once a month, twelve hours each way, to see me. While staying in Vancouver for three to four days, he would also pick up a job at my cousin’s shop. On the first evening, Oleg came to see me with a huge bouquet of flowers. Our love was growing stronger every day. While he was in California, we would talk on the phone and write each other letters.
I believed that marriage is for life and divorce is a sin. If you have problems, you work them out. Things were becoming serious and I knew if Oleg asked me to marry him, it was for life, if I said “Yes”.
During one of his visits, Oleg took me out to a beautiful park besides the river and proposed to me on bended knee.
“Olga, would you marry me, please?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed with joy, and then continued, “Oleg, please get, up. You are embarrassing me on your bended knee. People are watching us!”
We were so happy together! I loved Oleg so much and he loved me. Shortly after this visit, Oleg, his parents, his pastor, and his relatives came to meet my parents and me. We celebrated our engagement. Oleg’s parents brought a huge sweet Russian bread, called “Karavai”, which they had made and decorated beautifully with dough flowers and a braid on top. Traditionally, a young man brings this bread to the girl he loves when he asks her to marry him. They eat this bread together. Oleg’s family was wonderful. I felt their love towards me from the first day. It was a beautiful day and it just happened to be my 19th birthday.
Five months later, on April 5th, 1997, Oleg and I were happily married. We promised each other to be faithful in happiness and sorrow, in richest and the poor, and stay together until death separates us. We felt deep love for each other and felt God’s blessing upon us. One day I learned that Oleg's name meant “Holy and Faithful”. To know that his name was connected with God only lifted up my heart more.
Our first year of marriage was a beautiful year of adjustments. We loved each other dearly, but had to find how to compromise on our different points of view. My values taught me to respect my husband and to listen to him as the head of the household, yet, we didn’t always agree on what to do or how to do it. As the years pass, we have learned that we can have a difference of opinion and to respect that difference. The more freedom we give each other, the more our love and our respect for each other grows.
…….
Oleg worked at an Auto Body shop, where he was a highly-skilled technician. I continued with college. A year after we were married, I completed my Associate Degree in Business Administration/Accounting. It took me three years to complete a two-year program because of my limited English skills. I was so proud of myself, being the first in my family to graduate from High School and college in America! After college, I took a job at the bank, but continued to look for a job where I could use my education.
Soon, I became pregnant. We were blessed with our first son, David, whose name means “Beloved by God”. We loved being a young family, ready to assume greater responsibilities. Oleg and I came from large families and had helped our Mothers many times with child care. However, there is a process of growing into a mature parent, that nothing can teach you, except being a parent. I recognized how important it is to have parents who love you, help you, and are willing to share what they know. My parents already had three Granddaughters. David was the first Grandson for both sets of Grandparents, which gave him that special place in their hearts.
Eighteen months later, our beautiful daughter arrived. We named her Kristina, which means “Anointed, Follower of Christ”. Oleg’s Mother flew in from California to help us for two weeks. She was wonderful, letting me rest, recover and care for Kristina, while she took care of David, prepared meals and maintained the laundry. My Mom helped as much as she could but was limited because she was operating her business as a full-time child care provider.
When Oleg’s Mom flew back to California, it was my first day alone with two children. I remember sitting on a couch with a crying Kristina and David. I felt like they wanted to show me who could cry louder, each wanting my attention. As a young mother, I didn’t know which child to take care of first, so I also started crying. Yes, it helped, and after couple of minutes, we all calmed down and understood that we were a team and needed to be nice to each other.
Most of the time, David was nice to Kristina, but sometimes he was jealous and didn’t want to share his Mommy. In the mornings, when they woke up and saw each other, they were so happy, jumping on the bed and hugging each other. It was such a great blessing, seeing our children that God had given us.
Two months before Kristina was born, we bought our first house, thus Oleg worked more hours to provide additional money for our family. After work, he returned home tired and in need of rest, but the minute he saw David and Kristina, excited to see him, Oleg’s tiredness disappeared. He picked up the children and played with them. Our love as a family and as a couple continued to grow.
…….
When Kristina turned one, I decided to look for work. I was lucky. With my first application and first interview, I got a full-time job with the Women, Infants and Children (WIC) program. This became an important and rewarding endeavor in my life. The first four years I worked as a bi-lingual clerk at the front desk. I knew that with my degree I could have found a better job, but I was happy due to four elements: a good team, good pay, good benefits, and close to home. I learned job skills and more. I learned how to handle working relationships with the clients and co-workers, how to be patient, to respect each individual for who they are, and not to impose my personal judgments on others. Experience is a great teacher.
My Mom watched our children while Oleg and I worked. Often, when I came from work to pick up our children, she gave me freshly prepared food to take home. You just don’t go home as a wife. You have a family to care for, you have a husband and children, and you have to prepare a meal.
One time, I came to Mom’s house to pick up our children after work. She had just cooked vegetables for the potato salad. It only needed to be cut in pieces and mixed with a dressing. She gave it to me.
“Take it home and make salad for your family,” she insisted.
“What about you?” I asked.
“I can cook more vegetables,” Mom stated emphatically.
I thanked Mom, got into my car and cried. My Mom, who worked since nearly six o’clock in the morning, has given me her dinner, so I would not have to work as hard. I felt ashamed that I was not ready yet to do what she did. Thank you, Mom, for your loving heart!
…….
The children were growing and were so different. With curly hair and dimples on his cheeks, David looked a lot like my Dad. With blond curly hair and big blue eyes Kristina looked more like Oleg. David was neat and liked to play alone. But Kristina was the happiest and bravest child on earth and needed company. When they were growing up, they were such funny children.
One time my Mom was crying. David came up to her and said, “Grandma, don’t cry. I will buy you some ice cream.”
One evening, Kristina and I sat on a swing. She saw the moon and asked, “Mom, what is it?” “The moon,” I said. “Can I take it home?” Kristina asked. She thought she could reach the moon.
Kristina loved ripping flowers and giving them to me. She would rip flowers in our garden, in our neighbor’s garden, by the church, and I had to teach her where she could rip flowers and where she could not.
Oleg’s birthday was coming up. “What present should we buy for Daddy?” I asked. “Chips and Pepsi!” Kristina said excited. “No, our Dad loves coffee!” David said seriously.
One evening Oleg came home late from work. David was already sleeping. Then I realized – it was too quiet, which meant that Kristina was creating trouble. Quietly I walked to the kitchen and saw her with scissors in her hands. Her beautiful curly blond hair was already cut off and on the floor. I didn’t know how to react – to cry or to scream at her? With a wide-opened mouth I was speechless… I hugged her, put her to bed and took her to a hair dresser the next morning. Those beautiful curls are still in Kristina’s baby book.
Our firstborn, David Our daughter, Kristina
…….
When Kristina was four years old, I became pregnant for the third time. After my ultrasound, I received a phone call from my doctor, while I was at work.
“I don’t like your ultrasound results, Olga,” the doctor announced. “It shows that your baby boy could have Down’s syndrome, Trisomy 18 or Spinal Bifida. Olga, your child may be born very ill, not able to walk, and not even look like a normal person. Come in to do more testing.”
After I hung up the phone, my hands were sweaty and shaky, and tears covered my eyes. Good thing no one saw my pale face. I couldn’t concentrate or tell anyone the terrible news. How could I? “I will have an ill child? It can’t happen to me.”
After few minutes, I calmed dawn, walked to my supervisor’s office and asked for permission to leave work and see the doctor. She let me. It isn’t safe to drive, when you are scared and can’t concentrate, but I drove to the doctor’s office.
“Olga, we can do an amniocentesis test to make sure the ultrasound results are correct,” the doctor said.
“How do you perform this test?” I asked.
“With a needle we will poke your stomach and will take a small amount of amniotic fluid to check for genetic abnormalities. We don’t have to do it today. You can talk to your husband and let us know of your decision.”
The doctor gave me a brochure with this information. I spoke with Oleg at home. He was calm, but I worried.
“Our child is healthy. Everything will be okay,” he said.
In the brochure I read that there is a 60% miscarriage chance after this test. I called the doctor.
“We will not do this test,” I said. “Even if you did the test and it was abnormal, we would still not abort the baby. We know abortion is a sin, and we love our baby so much. We will pray, and God will help us.”
Oleg didn’t show that he worried, but I did. I couldn’t calm down. Being pregnant, I still had to continue working, drive children to Mom’s house in early mornings, pick them up after work, clean, cook and take care of the children. At night I would wake up at 2 or 3 A.M. and pray to God, begging Him to heal our baby. Only Mom, one of my sister and few friends knew about this problem. I was embarrassed to tell this news to someone or ask for prayers. I kept it all to myself. “How can I go back to work and show him to my co-workers? How can I show a disabled child to my friends and family? What would this say about me?” I thought.
When the time came for our baby to be born, I was in tears and couldn’t imagine what he would look like. But God heard our prayers and saw that we were not ready to accept a disabled child into our family. With tears of joy, we welcomed our healthy baby Michael. For us it was a miracle from God! Michael’s name means “Who is like God”.
When we brought Michael home, at first David and Kristina were happy to see him, but then they started acting up, crying and being jealous. Oleg was at work, and I thought, “What is going on?” Then I understood that they needed more of my attention, and I had to learn how to be a mother of three children.
Being parents of three is vastly different than being parents of two. I wanted to stay home to breastfeed Michael. WIC, my employer, supported my choice to combine maternity leave, saved sick and vacation leave, and time off without pay to enable me to be off work for eleven months.
…….
When I returned to work, there were some changes at the WIC program due to budget constraints. This required all clerks to also be cross-trained as Nutrition Assistants. Thus, in addition to scheduling appointments, issuing WIC vouchers, and answering a multiple-lined phone, my new duties included diet and weight assessments, checking hemoglobin and teaching the nutrition classes.
This offered several challenges. I was scared of blood. To do a hemoglobin test, I had to poke a client’s finger and deal with the blood. I also had to speak in front of people, but had no confidence to do so. How do you get up in front of a group of people when you have an accent and have no confidence in your ability to speak? I expressed these and other concerns to my boss.
“Olga, you have a choice. You either do it, or you quit,” she said.
“I need a job. It is a good job with good income and benefits. I have no choice as to keep the job and learn my new duties,” upset, I answered.
It is amazing what you can accomplish, if you put your mind to improving your skills. Two years later, in addition to my previous duties, I began teaching pregnant women about breastfeeding and helping them after delivery.
…….
In 2007, ten years into our marriage, Oleg changed to another auto body shop. Our income and benefits dramatically increased. Our house was on a busy street and not safe for our children, so we decided to buy a bigger house in a better neighborhood. We also bought two new cars on credit. Our life was good. We thought the money would always flow and we would be fine forever.
Raising our children was fun, but it also required lots of work to assure that our children were getting the best that we could provide them. I even volunteered in our church to teach Russian language to a class, which David attended. I understood the importance of our children knowing two languages, so I taught them how to read, write and speak Russian.
We were involved parents, trying to provide every opportunity for our children, and especially those opportunities we had not had as children. David was growing up as a serious and neat boy. Happy Kristina always helped me in the kitchen and took a good care of her younger brother, Michael. She loved doing his hair and dressing him up. And Michael was growing as a happy and patient baby. It was like he understood that I had to care for his brother and sister as well. With straight hair and blue eyes, Michael looked a lot like me. When Michael was growing up, we noticed that he was a very brave kid. At the age of four, he started riding his bike without training wheels, and two weeks later he rode a real dirt bike! We loved our children and provided what we could for them. Life with three children was so busy, but worth every moment of it!
Our third child, Michael
…….
As a family, we regularly attended church and read the Bible. Serving God and being close to Him was important to us. Oleg and I often discussed what our parents taught us, what we saw in church, and what we hoped to have in our life. We were a little dissatisfied that we were Christians, but didn’t experience God’s big power in our life. In the Bible, the book of Revelation 3:15-17, we read that God preferred for people to be either “cold” or “hot”, but not “lukewarm”. It is better to be a non-believer, than to claim that you know God and profane His name with your bad deeds.
Up to this point in our marriage we were Christians, but we took being Christians for granted. For example, reading the Bible and attending church was something we did, but we weren’t fully engaged. We didn’t do it with joy or excitement, because we felt that we were obligated to do it. We never questioned the relationship of ourselves to our faith. We just accepted what we were told. But now Oleg and I wanted to experience more of God’s love, power and presence in our life. So here, as I already said in the beginning of the book, our journey began…
One evening, when we knelt to pray to God, I heard Oleg pray, “God, I am so tired of being a lukewarm Christian. I want to have a personal relationship with You! I want to experience more of Your love, more of Your power and more of Your presence in my life. Please send a situation into my life that will show me WHO YOU REALLY ARE!” For a moment, I felt scared and wondered what Oleg was talking about. “How would this change our family and our life?” I thought. But I loved Oleg and trusted him. I thought he must know what he is asking for, but I had no idea what this would mean for our family. It struck me – it was an important moment in our lives.
From that day, Oleg totally changed. He began reading the Bible daily, sharing what he learned with us, and seeking answers for questions he had. It was like he was driven and wanted to know more. After he finished reading the book of Romans in the Bible, he did not understand it and had lots of questions. He wanted to know who the Apostle Paul wrote the book of Romans to, what he meant, and did it apply to us? We had been taught that certain parts of the Bible applied only to Gentiles, while other parts applied to Jews.
One day Oleg told me, “You know, Olga, if I want to know more about God, I probably have to learn more about the days of Moses, Jesus and His Apostles.”
I wondered what information he will be able to find. Oleg used the internet for research and was excited to share with me daily what new insights he learned. His love and interest in the truth about God grew. He simply had to know more. As we discussed and thought about what he learned, we began to have questions about what we were taught and prayed to God to reveal us the Truth. I also read the Bible, but hearing what Oleg shared with me was very interesting and unknown to me before. We began to question what God actually required of us, and what was the purpose of our life. Each question would lead us to other questions, like an unwinding spool of yarn. As a family, we studied and grew together in our faith.
……..
At the same time, significant changes happened in our life. Oleg’s job with a good salary was an hour drive each way. He decided to switch to a closer location, to be able to spend more time with the family. Unfortunately, his new location was not as busy. Oleg’s income decreased because there was less work and he was paid on a piece rate.
At about the same time, Oleg’s Father passed away at the age of 54. It was a big hit for Oleg’s whole family. It took them a while to accept it and move on.
Soon after, I injured my shoulders, which led to pain for the next few years and frequent doctor visits. Also, the economy took a downfall and our WIC department received a layoff notice due to lack of funding. I was going to lose my job in a year.
Between the house payment, car payments, our credit cards and other expenses, I wondered if we would ever be able to pay off our debt. I often cried out to God that we didn’t have the strength to handle this.
One day, my friend invited me to a prayer group, where God spoke to me, “My daughter, give your worry to Me and I will help you. All I need from you is PRAISE!” So, every time I worried, I praised God and His peace would come. It was such a wonderful feeling! Inside my heart I knew that God would help us.
The downturn in the economy also impacted my brothers and sisters. At that time, our parents started a family prayer time on Wednesday evenings at their house. Together with our children, we worshiped God and prayed for our needs and for needs of others.
One evening, my Aunt prophesied to most of the people in the group, and then to me, “My daughter, prepare yourself for an ordeal. Pray often for strength when a disaster comes to your family.”
I was scared and thought that something bad would happen to Oleg. Later that evening, my Grandmother came up to me and said, “Learn to be humble and patient.” I praised God often and prayed for His protection over our family.
…….
One month was replaced by another and the time of my lay-off was getting closer. We made financial changes in our family. Unbelievably, our debt became smaller. We sold both cars, eliminating two big payments and bought cheaper cars. Saving every penny, we tried our hardest to pay off our credit cards. I stopped going shopping and sometimes even went to a food bank to get help with food. The year of lay-off notice gave us time to adjust to a lower income.
Surprisingly, a year and a half later, we were debt free, except the mortgage payment, which was still very high relative to our income. We sought a loan modification, which took about three years to be finalized. Looking back, we were amazed at how God had helped us. I stayed at home with David, Kristina, and Michael, who were 11, 10 and 6 years old. We were happy together and thanked God for blessing us.
…….
4
You never know what your real values are until you
are faced with difficult real-life choices.
We love children and were delighted to find out that I was pregnant with our fourth child. In the sixth week of the pregnancy I developed complications and went to see the doctor.
“Olga, the ultrasound shows two fetuses,” the doctor said. “But one is smaller and not developing, and the other one is bigger and growing. This creates a risk of miscarriage. I need to prescribe strict bed rest for you.”
“A miscarriage? Two babies? One is not developing?” A sense of dread descended over me like a shroud. Scared, I implored God to save our baby, if it was His will. A few weeks later, I felt better and one of the fetuses survived.
At four months of pregnancy I went for a second ultrasound.
“It is a BOY!” the nurse said.
Then she paused, seemed worried.
“Actually, let me go get the doctor,” she said. “There seems to be a problem here.”
The doctor came and very carefully examined the ultrasound images. The look of his face registered concern. I knew immediately, there were serious problems.
“Olga, when we do the ultrasound, we can see if the baby’s heart is healthy. If a baby has Downs Syndrome or Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, the heart looks different. I can see the left side of your baby’s heart is not developing. It means he has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which is not good news.”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. My heart started beating rapidly and my hands started shaking.
“What? Our baby has health problems?” tears filled my eyes.
“This is a very rare heart defect which occurs in only 1 of 2,500 births. Usually, with this syndrome, 50% of babies also have Downs Syndrome. Your baby has no chance for life once born,” the doctor explained.
