Nikolay Lakutin
Operational bachelorette party. Comedy. А play for 5 people
Xana (to Lisa). Lee? What are you? I'll call a taxi for Gela now, she will be delivered in the best possible way, don't worry about it. You can understand it, of course, you need to have time to put yourself in order, at least a little rest, if possible. And where are you going? Stay with us. Are we sitting well?
Lisa (cautiously, trying not to offend anyone). Yes, well, who's arguing. But I just somehow…
Angelina (to Lisa kindly). Stay. Everything will be fine, don't worry about me. Stay here with the girls. The atmosphere is really cool, we haven't had such a good rest anywhere for a long time.
Lisa (agreeing). You can't argue with that.
Meanwhile, Xana "pokes" at her smartphone.
Xana (looking at her smartphone). Well. The taxi will arrive in three minutes. White Volkswagen Polo. Number 896. (Looks at Angelina.) Well, bride, come on… I don't know what will come out of this idea, but I will keep my fists for everything to be wonderful!
Angelina (to Xane, from the heart). Ksyu, thank you for everything! You're very cool. Very– very!
Angelina and Xana embrace.
Angelina (to all the girls, making excuses). Girls, I hope you don't mind me not inviting you to the wedding? I don't really know anything myself yet. Who, what, where. Most likely, we will sign up quietly and peacefully, and then we will go, "please" his ancestors!
Xana, Lisa, Damira, Bela (chorus, warm, from the heart). Goaaaaay!
Angelina stops hugging Xana, starts hugging Lisa
Lisa (to Angelina, warmly). Come on, Gel. Good luck to you. As soon as something happens, call me right away. I'll be waiting for news!
Xana, Damira, Bela (chorus, Lisa). And then tell us!
A warm, kind musical composition sounds.
Everyone laughs, saying goodbye to Angelina.
Angelina leaves, the girls leave after her, escorted "to the threshold".
ZTM.
Scene 3. Leftovers are sweet
Sauna. Night.
Dim lighting.
The musical composition continues to sound.
The girls (Xana, Damira, Bela and Lisa) are coming back. Yawning, stretching.
The musical accompaniment stops and ends.
Xana (yawning, White). Squirrel, tell me this! A "magpie on my tail informed me here that you are not a native Muscovite.
Bela (in amazement). What do you mean?
Xana (with interest, Bele). Well… I'm about "from the age of six in Biryulyovo."
Bela (understanding, sarcastically). Ah, I realized where the wind is blowing from.
Xana (with interest, Bele). Or did you just live in another area of Moscow before that?
The girls themselves still "take on the chest", each taking into account their own norm. They sit down. They listen to Bela.
Bela (calmly, remembering). No, I've never lived in another part of Moscow. From the age of six in Biryulyovo. Parents took a "two-piece". We've been living there ever since. And before that we lived in Penza, where I was born.
Lisa (White, joyfully). I have heard that the residents of Penza are called Penzyuki!
The girls are laughing, all except Bela.
Damira (through laughter, Bele). So you're a Penza girl!
The girls burst out laughing even more. All except Bela.
Bela (a little offended, Lisa and the girls). I don't know who calls who where. Actually, as far as I know, men living in Penza are called penzentsy, women – penzenkami …
Girls (except Bela) are filled with a new wave of laughter.
Xana (through laughter, Bele). How-how? Penza?
Girls (except Bela) "ride" with laughter.
Bela (a little offended, to all the girls). Yes, you are Penza yourself! Peeeeensenkami. And the residents of Penza are called Penza residents, and not in some other way.
The girls are laughing, trying to calm down.
Bela, offended, mimics them. Ostentatiously deliberately "ha-ha-kaet", shows all the girls the tongue.
The girls are trying to calm down, but under a drunken bench, it's not so easy.
Bela (a little offended, to all the girls). And in general! It was a long time ago and not true. I've been a Muscovite since I was six! Practically indigenous! So there's nothing for me to do here!
Xana (in her own way, Bela). Okay, okay. Don't sulk. I just asked out of interest. Hushed up the question. (Xana switches to Damira.) And now let's popress Damira!
Bela, Lisa (in chorus, with drunken excitement). And davaaayte!
Damira looks warily at Xana.
Damira (to Xane, with a restrained hit-and-run). What has started? They were sitting normally!
Xana (in her own way, Damire). Missis, don't strain yourself like that. I just wanted to ask you about this one of yours… What's his name… Roman …, like, yes?
Damira (relieved to wave off, Xane). Oh, that's what you mean. Well, I think I've already told you everything.
Xana (cautiously, Damire). You started, but then we switched to another topic. I understand that the look of this Novel does not burn in your garden?
Damira (thoughtfully, a little sadly, to Xane). Not lit… I can't understand anything at all. If you have no interest in me, then why are you dating me? But we are meeting! We don't just meet, we live, we can say together!
Bela (sympathetically, Damire). Maybe there is interest, but he just shows it in some other way, not in the look?
Lisa (sadly, with understanding and some inner bitterness of her own). No, Bela, the look is very important. This may be the most important thing, among other things.
Damira (thoughtfully, a little sadly, to the girls). Wooooo! I think so too. From here I have a lot of questions.
Xana (cautiously, Damire). Well, how are you with him at all?
Damira (sincerely, Xane). Yes, it's kind of normal… He rented me an apartment, and we live there, in fact. But for some reason his things are at a minimum, basically everything is mine. He disappears at work all the time. He doesn't spend the night at home every day, however, he immediately warned about this. The specifics of the work. Business trips are frequent, trips to other regions, approvals, new offers, business expansion… Everything seems to be with him, as they say, and he treats me well. Attentive to details, respectful. He does not allow himself to raise his voice at me, and all that, although I admit I gave a reason.
Xana (suspiciously, Damire). He's very careful!
Damira (thoughtfully, a little sadly). Uh-huh…
Lisa (after a short pause, carefully, Damire). I'm sorry, please, but I think he has someone else besides you.
Damira casts a meek glance at Lisa. The girls are silent.
Damira pours herself alcohol. Fill up. Drinks.
Withstands a very short pause, casting a glance at the girls.
Damira (getting drunk in front of her eyes, smiling slyly). Maybe he has someone else… Maybe I have someone else… This is life, girls! It's like that here… So somehow… Something like that, in general.
Damira takes out her phone, dials Roman.
Damira (getting drunk in front of her eyes, into the phone, to Roman). Romulus? Hi. It's me. Yes. And why do you sound so sleepy? And… well, yes, it's night. Darling, do you know that I'm calling you? No, not because she's drunk. Although that's why too. I'm not just drunk, I'm practically in gov… (Hiccups.) But that's not the point. Romulus, do you love me? (Smiles, listening to the phone.) Say more. (Smiles, listening to the phone.) Are you at home now? M… will you pick me up? I'll send the address now.
He hangs up, writes the address in the phone, sends a message.
Bela (with interest, Damire). What? Will he come?
Damira (nodding, hiccupping). Romulus is fine!
Xana (exhaling, relieved, Damire). Well, then it's not as bad as it seems. Everything is almost good. Come on, Lady, get ready and don't forget to call Sergey tomorrow, about work!
Damira staggers off to get dressed.
Lisa (to the girls). Yes…, it's interesting they have everything there.
Lisa gets a text message. She picks up the phone, reads the text in surprise.
Bela and Xana look at Lisa with interest.
Xana (to Lisa with interest). Who's texting you at night?
Lisa (to the girls). I'm shocked myself! Buddy. We met on the Internet for quite a long time. We communicate. He's also from here, but we've never met him, and honestly, I'm not eager. It's fun to talk to him, but I don't want anything personal with him, not my passenger.
Bela (to Lisa with interest). And what does he write?
Lisa (reads the text aloud). Lisa! Find me a girl urgently! I can't really eat or sleep anymore! I twisted all my brains. I want a serious relationship with a normal girl, and all sorts of bitches come across! Don't you have a good, unspoiled girl in mind? Help me, I pray!
Lisa looks at Xana and Bela.
Xana shifts her sly gaze to Bela.
Lisa also understands this look, she begins to look at Bela appraisingly.
Bela looks blankly at Xana and Lisa.
Bela (to the girls, confused and confused). Whoooo?
Xana (Bele). Well, Squirrel…, fate found you by itself. Come on, let's go!
Lisa (to Bela, calmly). Write down the number!
Bela (to the girls, confused and confused). Are you serious?
Xana nods her head. Lisa writes a message in response, sends it.
Lisa (to Bela, calmly). That's it, I told him you'd call back now.
Bela (in a panic, to the girls). No, no, what are you? I can't do this! And you never know what he is! And he doesn't know me at all. Yes, everything is shaky here, you can't do the same! Also… well… Well, it's somehow wrong!!!
Xana takes Bela's phone, gives it to Lisa.
Xana (giving the phone to Lisa). Here, write down the number.
Xana turns to Bela.
Xana (Bele). And how is it right? A squirrel? A prince on a white horse with a rose in his teeth? Stop believing in fairy tales! This is life and here no one knows what is right and what is not! And if life itself gives you a chance, then it's stupid not to take it! (In a commanding tone.) Well, I quickly took the phone and called this one! (He turns to Lisa.) What's the kid's name?
Lisa (saving the number in Bela's phone). Artem. He's a normal guy, don't worry, Bela. I think you will succeed with him. You are similar in many ways.
Lisa hands the phone to Bela. Bela turns her head negatively, does not fit.
Xana resolutely approaches Bela and pushes her towards Lisa.
Lisa and Xana insist.
Bela, embarrassed and embarrassed, takes her phone from Lisa's hands.
Xana (friendly, White). Wow, well done, and now we press the call and go to communicate with Artem!
Xana herself presses "call" on Bela's phone.
Bela rushes around, but Lisa and Xana literally push her out of sight with the phone.
Bela's voice (timid, uncertain). Hello? Artyom? Hi, it's Bela…
you can't hear Bela anymore.
Xana and Lisa beat off the "five" with their palms.
The assembled Damira comes out. She's drunk, but she's standing on her feet.
Damira (to Lisa and Xana). Well, that's it, girls, my Romchik is coming, I'm off. Let's see you, we'll write off.
Girls (Damira, Xana, Lisa) hug, say goodbye.
Damira leaves.
Xana (to Lisa, seriously). Listen, well… I won't have to worry about this Artem? After all, the girl was thrown into the embrasure (nodding towards Bela talking on the phone somewhere out of sight).
Lisa (reassuring). Yeah, noooo, what are you. He's a normal guy. Quiet, calm. He really has no luck with women. He told me, I honestly didn't care. We are angels compared to those with whom he tried to build relationships.
Xana (to Lisa, doubtful). Maybe it's just how he presents it?
Lisa (calmly). No, it doesn't look like it. He's unsophisticated. Simple, open. And, accordingly, there are always those for such people who are ready to breed them, shake them out, use them… Yes, you know everything yourself what to tell.
Xana (with understanding). That yes…
A happy, mysteriously smiling Bela comes out. Phone in hand, already talked. Xana and Lisa look at Bela.
Xana (happily). Oooooh, and the Squirrel has blossomed! (To Lisa.) Look what's being done!
Lisa (smiling contentedly in support of Xana's words). Uh-huh ....
Bela is embarrassed, smiling. He keeps silent.
Xana (with intrigue, Bele). Well? Have you talked?
Bela (happily). Agaaaaaaaaaa.
Xana (with interest). A normal guy?
Bela (happily). Cool.
Xana looks at Lisa with satisfaction.
Lisa (that's enough, Xane). What did I say!
Xana puts her arm around Lisa. Lisa and Xana look questioningly at Bela.
Bela (happily). Honestly…, I'm surprised at myself. We had such a good talk. It's like we've known each other all our lives. Girls, do you believe – no? Does this happen?
Lisa, Xana (chorus, White). Things happen.
Bela (happily). We talked–talked… I said that I am here with you now. Artem offered to come and pick me up.
Lisa and Xana are listening attentively, watching. They don't interrupt, they don't ask questions. Waiting for the denouement.
Bela (happily, embarrassed). And I agreed!
Lisa (calmly, positively). Well, you did the right thing!
Xana (strictly). Okay, stop! And where will he take you then? To yourself?
Bela (happily, embarrassed). No, he offered to take me home. To my house.
Xana (warily). Hmm… In Biryulyovo, it appears.
Bela (happily, embarrassed). Yeah.
Lisa (seeing Xana's excitement, soothing. Xane). Don't worry. Everything will be fine. Well, at most a kiss to begin with. No more.
Bela (upset, to Lisa). No more?
Xana and Lisa laugh.
Xana (positively). And the girl got a taste!
Lisa (to Bela). Listen, he doesn't live around here, does he?
Bela (positively, to Lisa). Yes, he said he would be in 10 minutes.
Xana (Bele). So what are you standing for? Come on, get ready soon!
Bela skips, happily runs away to get dressed, get ready.
Xana (positively, to Lisa). Here! See how you didn't stay for nothing. Almost left the Squirrel without a man. And so, that's how nice it turned out. (He points in the direction of the runaway Bela.) Oh, she jumped like that!
Lisa (to Xane, a little sad). Yes, of course. Everything is not in vain in our life.
Xana sees Lisa's mood. She understands that everything is not going smoothly in her life. Withstands a cautious pause, ponders a further plan of action.
Xana (the body, in a friendly way, to Lisa).
Liza looks at Xana questioningly.
Xana (the body, in a friendly way, to Lisa). Come on a little bit?
Lisa (to Xane). Oh, Xan, I don't want to anymore. I drank my quota. That's enough for me.
Xana (indignantly, to Lisa). Do you think I want to? Yes, I generally hate to look at this alcohol already. But the situation is forcing! It's just the two of us. We're both in no hurry to get home, right?
Lisa (calmly agreeing, Xane). Right.
Xana (cheerfully, to Lisa). What else can we do?
Lisa (reluctantly, to Xane). Mmm… if only very straight for a little bit.
Xana winks approvingly. Pours. Less for Lisa, more for myself.
They raise their glasses.
A partially clothed Bela runs in.
Bela (hurriedly, excitedly, to the girls). Hey! Wait, wait, wait!!! Where without me!
The girls lower their glasses.
Bela handles the bottle and glass by herself. The girls are waiting for her.
Bela (hurriedly, to the girls). The subject called! He's already here. Let's go for a walk, and I'm off!
Xana (turns to Lisa, nodding towards Bela). He's already a topic for her! I got used to it quickly, well done.
Lisa smiles.
Bela (busily, as if experienced, where to go, girls). Life, girls, is such a thing. She's not walking, she's rushing, flying! There is no time to slow down and blunt. It's either Pan or gone.
Xana and Lisa smile. Bela hurriedly raises her glass, the girls support her. Clink glasses, drink.
Bela (hurriedly, to the girls). Yeah, that's it, I ran!
Bela kisses goodbye on the cheeks with Lisa and Xana.
Xana (parting words, White). Good luck to you!
Lisa (parting words, Bela). Say hello to Artem from me! Tell him to behave himself!
Bela (running away, saying goodbye to the girls). I will do everything to make him behave badly!
Bela Joyous runs away.
Lisa (nodding playfully in the direction of the runaway Bela). That bitch!
Xana (approvingly). Our man!
Xana (taking up another bottle not tested before, looking questioningly at Lisa). So what?
Lisa (refusing). Oh, no! I'm all. And it's already not good.
Xana (pouring herself a little). It's not comme il faut itself. But you have to try! I won't take this one yet.. (hiccups) fuck.. (hiccups) la.
Xana takes a sip. He winces a lot.
Xana (disgustedly). It's disgusting! (He finishes the rest.) Just awful! (He pours himself some more of the same, plump up, sips again.) It's just some kind of nightmare! They also sell such junk. Someone is also buying!
Lisa is interested in approaching the bottle with this most "unpleasant" taste. Reads the label. Pours himself a little, will stay.
Lisa (tasting and savoring). Whoooo… Yummy! I've never seen this before.
Xana (rejoicing at the trick that worked). Of course I haven't. They don't sell that here. A familiar winemaker sends this Maratika from France. Well, here he presented one bottle for us.
The girls pour themselves more of this wonderful wine, sit down side by side, hold glasses in their hands, hug.
Xana (cautiously, as if begging for something). Liiiii?
Lisa (with warmth, turning to Xana). M?
Xana (cautiously, as if begging for something). Why are you sad, Liii?
Lisa (with warmth). I? Yes, not that… so …
Xana (cautiously). I noticed the sadness in your eyes when they talked about Roman's look to Damira. About this missing light. Things aren't going smoothly on your personal front, are they?
Lisa sighs heavily.
Xana (cautiously). I'm sorry if I'm getting into the Soul. You don't have to open it to me.
Lisa takes a short pause, looks kindly at Xana.
Lisa (with warmth). To be honest, I envy you.
Xana (with interest). For me? What's wrong?
Lisa (with warmth). You live so brightly… So for real. So… somehow… like in the movies, you know? You are the main actress of your life, who plays the main role! A bright role! Intense and emotional. And it's like I'm playing some kind of secondary role in my life. Before I met you, I thought that I still had the main game on this chessboard, called life. Now I understand that the party is not my main one, and I am not a very significant figure. Maybe not a pawn, but a Knight or a Bishop, but in inept hands. And when a chess player is weak, then the figure is of little use, no matter what it is.
