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Tik-Tok of Oz

CHAPTER 9
Ruggedo’s Rage is Rash and Reckless

THE way taken by the adventurers led up hill and down dale and wound here and there in a fashion that seemed aimless. But always it drew nearer to a range of low mountains and Files said more than once that he was certain the entrance to Ruggedo’s cavern would be found among these rugged hills.

In this he was quite correct. Far underneath the nearest mountain was a gorgeous chamber hollowed from the solid rock, the walls and roof of which glittered with thousands of magnificent jewels. Here, on a throne of virgin gold, sat the famous Nome King, dressed in splendid robes and wearing a superb crown cut from a single blood-red ruby.

Ruggedo, the Monarch of all the Metals and Precious Stones of the Underground World, was a round little man with a flowing white beard, a red face, bright eyes and a scowl that covered all his forehead. One would think, to look at him, that he ought to be jolly; one might think, considering his enormous wealth, that he ought to be happy; but this was not the case. The Metal Monarch was surly and cross because mortals had dug so much treasure out of the earth and kept it above ground, where all the power of Ruggedo and his nomes was unable to recover it. He hated not only the mortals but also the fairies who live upon the earth or above it, and instead of being content with the riches he still possessed he was unhappy because he did not own all the gold and jewels in the world.

Ruggedo had been nodding, half asleep, in his chair when suddenly he sat upright uttered a roar of rage and began pounding upon a huge gong that stood beside him.

The sound filled the vast cavern and penetrated to many caverns beyond, where countless thousands of nomes were working at their unending tasks, hammering out gold and silver and other metals, or melting ores in great furnaces, or polishing glittering gems. The nomes trembled at the sound of the King’s gong and whispered fearfully to one another that something unpleasant was sure to happen; but none dared pause in his task.

The heavy curtains of cloth-of-gold were pushed aside and Kaliko, the King’s High Chamberlain, entered the royal presence.

“What’s up, Your Majesty?” he asked, with a wide yawn, for he had just wakened.

“Up?” roared Ruggedo, stamping his foot viciously. “Those foolish mortals are up, that’s what! And they want to come down.”

“Down here?” inquired Kaliko.

“Yes!”

“How do you know?” continued the Chamberlain, yawning again.

“I feel it in my bones,” said Ruggedo. “I can always feel it when those hateful earth-crawlers draw near to my Kingdom. I am positive, Kaliko, that mortals are this very minute on their way here to annoy me – and I hate mortals more than I do catnip tea!”

“Well, what’s to be done?” demanded the nome.

“Look through your spyglass, and see where the invaders are,” commanded the King.

So Kaliko went to a tube in the wall of rock and put his eye to it. The tube ran from the cavern up to the side of the mountain and turned several curves and corners, but as it was a magic spyglass Kaliko was able to see through it just as easily as if it had been straight.

“Ho – hum,” said he. “I see 'em, Your Majesty.”

“What do they look like?” inquired the Monarch.

“That’s a hard question to answer, for a queerer assortment of creatures I never yet beheld,” replied the nome. “However, such a collection of curiosities may prove dangerous. There’s a copper man, worked by machinery – ”

“Bah! that’s only Tik-Tok,” said Ruggedo. “I’m not afraid of him. Why, only the other day I met the fellow and threw him down a well.”

“Then some one must have pulled him out again,” said Kaliko. “And there’s a little girl – ”

“Dorothy?” asked Ruggedo, jumping up in fear.

“No; some other girl. In fact, there are several girls, of various sizes; but Dorothy is not with them, nor is Ozma.”

“That’s good!” exclaimed the King, sighing in relief.

Kaliko still had his eye to the spyglass.

“I see,” said he, “an army of men from Oogaboo. They are all officers and carry swords. And there is a Shaggy Man – who seems very harmless – and a little donkey with big ears.”

“Pooh!” cried Ruggedo, snapping his fingers in scorn. “I’ve no fear of such a mob as that. A dozen of my nomes can destroy them all in a jiffy.”

“I’m not so sure of that,” said Kaliko. "The people of Oogaboo are hard to destroy, and I believe the Rose Princess is a fairy. As for Polychrome, you know very well that the Rainbow’s Daughter cannot be injured by a nome."

“Polychrome! Is she among them?” asked the King.

“Yes; I have just recognized her.”

“Then these people are coming here on no peaceful errand,” declared Ruggedo, scowling fiercely. “In fact, no one ever comes here on a peaceful errand. I hate everybody, and everybody hates me!”

“Very true,” said Kaliko.

“I must in some way prevent these people from reaching my dominions. Where are they now?”

“Just now they are crossing the Rubber Country, Your Majesty.”

“Good! Are your magnetic rubber wires in working order?”

“I think so,” replied Kaliko. “Is it your Royal Will that we have some fun with these invaders?”

“It is,” answered Ruggedo. “I want to teach them a lesson they will never forget.”

Now, Shaggy had no idea that he was in a Rubber Country, nor had any of his companions. They noticed that everything around them was of a dull gray color and that the path upon which they walked was soft and springy, yet they had no suspicion that the rocks and trees were rubber and even the path they trod was made of rubber.

Presently they came to a brook where sparkling water dashed through a deep channel and rushed away between high rocks far down the mountain-side. Across the brook were stepping-stones, so placed that travelers might easily leap from one to another and in that manner cross the water to the farther bank.

Tik-Tok was marching ahead, followed by his officers and Queen Ann. After them came Betsy Bobbin and Hank, Polychrome and Shaggy, and last of all the Rose Princess with Files. The Clockwork Man saw the stream and the stepping-stones and, without making a pause, placed his foot upon the first stone.

The result was astonishing. First he sank down in the soft rubber, which then rebounded and sent Tik-Tok soaring high in the air, where he turned a succession of flip-flops and alighted upon a rubber rock far in the rear of the party.

General Apple did not see Tik-Tok bound, so quickly had he disappeared; therefore he also stepped upon the stone (which you will guess was connected with Kaliko’s magnetic rubber wire) and instantly shot upward like an arrow. General Cone came next and met with a like fate, but the others now noticed that something was wrong and with one accord they halted the column and looked back along the path.

There was Tik-Tok, still bounding from one rubber rock to another, each time rising a less distance from the ground. And there was General Apple, bounding away in another direction, his three-cornered hat jammed over his eyes and his long sword thumping him upon the arms and head as it swung this way and that. And there, also, appeared General Cone, who had struck a rubber rock headforemost and was so crumpled up that his round body looked more like a bouncing-ball than the form of a man.

Betsy laughed merrily at the strange sight and Polychrome echoed her laughter. But Ozga was grave and wondering, while Queen Ann became angry at seeing the chief officers of the Army of Oogaboo bounding around in so undignified a manner. She shouted to them to stop, but they were unable to obey, even though they would have been glad to do so. Finally, however, they all ceased bounding and managed to get upon their feet and rejoin the Army.

“Why did you do that?” demanded Ann, who seemed greatly provoked.

“Don’t ask them why,” said Shaggy earnestly. “I knew you would ask them why, but you ought not to do it. The reason is plain. Those stones are rubber; therefore they are not stones. Those rocks around us are rubber, and therefore they are not rocks. Even this path is not a path; it’s rubber. Unless we are very careful, your Majesty, we are all likely to get the bounce, just as your poor officers and Tik-Tok did.”

“Then let’s be careful,” remarked Files, who was full of wisdom; but Polychrome wanted to test the quality of the rubber, so she began dancing. Every step sent her higher and higher into the air, so that she resembled a big butterfly fluttering lightly. Presently she made a great bound and bounded way across the stream, landing lightly and steadily on the other side.

“There is no rubber over here,” she called to them. “Suppose you all try to bound over the stream, without touching the stepping-stones.”

Ann and her officers were reluctant to undertake such a risky adventure, but Betsy at once grasped the value of the suggestion and began jumping up and down until she found herself bounding almost as high as Polychrome had done. Then she suddenly leaned forward and the next bound took her easily across the brook, where she alighted by the side of the Rainbow’s Daughter.

“Come on, Hank!” called the girl, and the donkey tried to obey. He managed to bound pretty high but when he tried to bound across the stream he misjudged the distance and fell with a splash into the middle of the water.

“Hee-haw!” he wailed, struggling toward the far bank. Betsy rushed forward to help him out, but when the mule stood safely beside her she was amazed to find he was not wet at all.

“It’s dry water,” said Polychrome, dipping her hand into the stream and showing how the water fell from it and left it perfectly dry.

“In that case,” returned Betsy, “they can all walk through the water.”

She called to Ozga and Shaggy to wade across, assuring them the water was shallow and would not wet them. At once they followed her advice, avoiding the rubber stepping-stones, and made the crossing with ease. This encouraged the entire party to wade through the dry water, and in a few minutes all had assembled on the bank and renewed their journey along the path that led to the Nome King’s dominions.

When Kaliko again looked through his magic spyglass he exclaimed:

“Bad luck, Your Majesty! All the invaders have passed the Rubber Country and now are fast approaching the entrance to your caverns.”

Ruggedo raved and stormed at the news and his anger was so great that several times, as he strode up and down his jeweled cavern, he paused to kick Kaliko upon his shins, which were so sensitive that the poor nome howled with pain. Finally the King said:

“There’s no help for it; we must drop these audacious invaders down the Hollow Tube.”

Kaliko gave a jump, at this, and looked at his master wonderingly.

“If you do that, Your Majesty,” he said, “you will make Tititi-Hoochoo very angry.”

“Never mind that,” retorted Ruggedo. “Tititi-Hoochoo lives on the other side of the world, so what do I care for his anger?”

Kaliko shuddered and uttered a little groan.

“Remember his terrible powers,” he pleaded, “and remember that he warned you, the last time you slid people through the Hollow Tube, that if you did it again he would take vengeance upon you.”

The Metal Monarch walked up and down in silence, thinking deeply.

“Of two dangers,” said he, “it is wise to choose the least. What do you suppose these invaders want?”

“Let the Long-Eared Hearer listen to them,” suggested Kaliko.

“Call him here at once!” commanded Ruggedo eagerly.

So in a few minutes there entered the cavern a nome with enormous ears, who bowed low before the King.

“Strangers are approaching,” said Ruggedo, “and I wish to know their errand. Listen carefully to their talk and tell me why they are coming here, and what for.”

The nome bowed again and spread out his great ears, swaying them gently up and down and back and forth. For half an hour he stood silent, in an attitude of listening, while both the King and Kaliko grew impatient at the delay. At last the Long-Eared Hearer spoke:

“Shaggy Man is coming here to rescue his brother from captivity,” said he.

“Ha, the Ugly One!” exclaimed Ruggedo. “Well, Shaggy Man may have his ugly brother, for all I care. He’s too lazy to work and is always getting in my way. Where is the Ugly One now, Kaliko?”

“The last time Your Majesty stumbled over the prisoner you commanded me to send him to the Metal Forest, which I did. I suppose he is still there.”

“Very good. The invaders will have a hard time finding the Metal Forest,” said the King, with a grin of malicious delight, “for half the time I can’t find it myself. Yet I created the forest and made every tree, out of gold and silver, so as to keep the precious metals in a safe place and out of the reach of mortals. But tell me, Hearer, do the strangers want anything else?”

“Yes, indeed they do!” returned the nome. “The Army of Oogaboo is determined to capture all the rich metals and rare jewels in your kingdom, and the officers and their Queen have arranged to divide the spoils and carry them away.”

When he heard this Ruggedo uttered a bellow of rage and began dancing up and down, rolling his eyes, clicking his teeth together and swinging his arms furiously. Then, in an ecstasy of anger he seized the long ears of the Hearer and pulled and twisted them cruelly; but Kaliko grabbed up the King’s sceptre and rapped him over the knuckles with it, so that Ruggedo let go the ears and began to chase his Royal Chamberlain around the throne.

The Hearer took advantage of this opportunity to slip away from the cavern and escape, and after the King had tired himself out chasing Kaliko he threw himself into his throne and panted for breath, while he glared wickedly at his defiant subject.

“You’d better save your strength to fight the enemy,” suggested Kaliko. “There will be a terrible battle when the Army of Oogaboo gets here.”

“The Army won’t get here,” said the King, still coughing and panting. “I’ll drop 'em down the Hollow Tube – every man Jack and every girl Jill of 'em!”

“And defy Tititi-Hoochoo?” asked Kaliko.

“Yes. Go at once to my Chief Magician and order him to turn the path toward the Hollow Tube, and to make the top of the Tube invisible, so they’ll all fall into it.”

Kaliko went away shaking his head, for he thought Ruggedo was making a great mistake. He found the Magician and had the path twisted so that it led directly to the opening of the Hollow Tube, and this opening he made invisible.

Having obeyed the orders of his master, the Royal Chamberlain went to his private room and began to write letters of recommendation of himself, stating that he was an honest man, a good servant and a small eater.

“Pretty soon,” he said to himself, “I shall have to look for another job, for it is certain that Ruggedo has ruined himself by this reckless defiance of the mighty Tititi-Hoochoo. And in seeking a job nothing is so effective as a letter of recommendation.”

CHAPTER 10
A Terrible Tumble Through a Tube

I SUPPOSE that Polychrome, and perhaps Queen Ann and her Army, might have been able to dispel the enchantment of Ruggedo’s Chief Magician had they known that danger lay in their pathway; for the Rainbow’s Daughter was a fairy and as Oogaboo is a part of the Land of Oz its inhabitants cannot easily be deceived by such common magic as the Nome King could command. But no one suspected any especial danger until after they had entered Ruggedo’s cavern, and so they were journeying along in quite a contented manner when Tik-Tok, who marched ahead, suddenly disappeared.

The officers thought he must have turned a corner, so they kept on their way and all of them likewise disappeared – one after another. Queen Ann was rather surprised at this, and in hastening forward to learn the reason she also vanished from sight.

Betsy Bobbin had tired her feet by walking, so she was now riding upon the back of the stout little mule, facing backward and talking to Shaggy and Polychrome, who were just behind. Suddenly Hank pitched forward and began falling and Betsy would have tumbled over his head had she not grabbed the mule’s shaggy neck with both arms and held on for dear life.

All around was darkness, and they were not falling directly downward but seemed to be sliding along a steep incline. Hank’s hoofs were resting upon some smooth substance over which he slid with the swiftness of the wind. Once Betsy’s heels flew up and struck a similar substance overhead. They were, indeed, descending the “Hollow Tube” that led to the other side of the world.

“Stop, Hank – stop!” cried the girl; but Hank only uttered a plaintive “Hee-haw!” for it was impossible for him to obey.

After several minutes had passed and no harm had befallen them, Betsy gained courage. She could see nothing at all, nor could she hear anything except the rush of air past her ears as they plunged downward along the Tube. Whether she and Hank were alone, or the others were with them, she could not tell. But had some one been able to take a flash-light photograph of the Tube at that time a most curious picture would have resulted. There was Tik-Tok, flat upon his back and sliding headforemost down the incline. And there were the Officers of the Army of Oogaboo, all tangled up in a confused crowd, flapping their arms and trying to shield their faces from the clanking swords, which swung back and forth during the swift journey and pommeled everyone within their reach. Now followed Queen Ann, who had struck the Tube in a sitting position and went flying along with a dash and abandon that thoroughly bewildered the poor lady, who had no idea what had happened to her. Then, a little distance away, but unseen by the others in the inky darkness, slid Betsy and Hank, while behind them were Shaggy and Polychrome and finally Files and the Princess.

When first they tumbled into the Tube all were too dazed to think clearly, but the trip was a long one, because the cavity led straight through the earth to a place just opposite the Nome King’s dominions, and long before the adventurers got to the end they had begun to recover their wits.

“This is awful, Hank!” cried Betsy in a loud voice, and Queen Ann heard her and called out: “Are you safe, Betsy?”

“Mercy, no!” answered the little girl. “How could anyone be safe when she’s going about sixty miles a minute?” Then, after a pause, she added: “But where do you s’pose we’re going to, Your Maj’sty?”

“Don’t ask her that, please don’t!” said Shaggy, who was not too far away to overhear them. “And please don’t ask me why, either.”

“Why?” said Betsy.

“No one can tell where we are going until we get there,” replied Shaggy, and then he yelled “Ouch!” for Polychrome had overtaken him and was now sitting on his head.

The Rainbow’s Daughter laughed merrily, and so infectious was this joyous laugh that Betsy echoed it and Hank said “Hee-haw!” in a mild and sympathetic tone of voice.

“I’d like to know where and when we’ll arrive, just the same,” exclaimed the little girl.

“Be patient and you’ll find out, my dear,” said Polychrome. “But isn’t this an odd experience? Here am I, whose home is in the skies, making a journey through the center of the earth – where I never expected to be!”

“How do you know we’re in the center of the earth?” asked Betsy, her voice trembling a little through nervousness.

“Why, we can’t be anywhere else,” replied Polychrome. “I have often heard of this passage, which was once built by a Magician who was a great traveler. He thought it would save him the bother of going around the earth’s surface, but he tumbled through the Tube so fast that he shot out at the other end and hit a star in the sky, which at once exploded.”

“The star exploded?” asked Betsy wonderingly.

“Yes; the Magician hit it so hard.”

“And what became of the Magician?” inquired the girl.

“No one knows that,” answered Polychrome. “But I don’t think it matters much.”

“It matters a good deal, if we also hit the stars when we come out,” said Queen Ann, with a moan.

“Don’t worry,” advised Polychrome. “I believe the Magician was going the other way, and probably he went much faster than we are going.”

“It’s fast enough to suit me,” remarked Shaggy, gently removing Polychrome’s heel from his left eye. “Couldn’t you manage to fall all by yourself, my dear?”

“I’ll try,” laughed the Rainbow’s Daughter.

All this time they were swiftly falling through the Tube, and it was not so easy for them to talk as you may imagine when you read their words. But although they were so helpless and altogether in the dark as to their fate, the fact that they were able to converse at all cheered them considerably.

Files and Ozga were also conversing as they clung tightly to one another, and the young fellow bravely strove to reassure the Princess, although he was terribly frightened, both on her account and on his own.

An hour, under such trying circumstances, is a very long time, and for more than an hour they continued their fearful journey. Then, just as they began to fear the Tube would never end, Tik-Tok popped out into broad daylight and, after making a graceful circle in the air, fell with a splash into a great marble fountain.

Out came the officers, in quick succession, tumbling heels over head and striking the ground in many undignified attitudes.

“For the love of sassafras!” exclaimed a Peculiar Person who was hoeing pink violets in a garden. “What can all this mean?”

For answer, Queen Ann sailed up from the Tube, took a ride through the air as high as the treetops, and alighted squarely on top of the Peculiar Person’s head, smashing a jeweled crown over his eyes and tumbling him to the ground.

The mule was heavier and had Betsy clinging to his back, so he did not go so high up. Fortunately for his little rider he struck the ground upon his four feet. Betsy was jarred a trifle but not hurt and when she looked around her she saw the Queen and the Peculiar Person struggling together upon the ground, where the man was trying to choke Ann and she had both hands in his bushy hair and was pulling with all her might. Some of the officers, when they got upon their feet, hastened to separate the combatants and sought to restrain the Peculiar Person so that he could not attack their Queen again.

By this time, Shaggy, Polychrome, Ozga and Files had all arrived and were curiously examining the strange country in which they found themselves and which they knew to be exactly on the opposite side of the world from the place where they had fallen into the Tube. It was a lovely place, indeed, and seemed to be the garden of some great Prince, for through the vistas of trees and shrubbery could be seen the towers of an immense castle. But as yet the only inhabitant to greet them was the Peculiar Person just mentioned, who had shaken off the grasp of the officers without effort and was now trying to pull the battered crown from off his eyes.

Shaggy, who was always polite, helped him to do this and when the man was free and could see again he looked at his visitors with evident amazement.

“Well, well, well!” he exclaimed. “Where did you come from and how did you get here?”

Betsy tried to answer him, for Queen Ann was surly and silent.

“I can’t say, exac’ly where we came from, ’cause I don’t know the name of the place,” said the girl, “but the way we got here was through the Hollow Tube.”

“Don’t call it a ‘hollow’ Tube, please,” exclaimed the Peculiar Person in an irritated tone of voice. “If it’s a tube, it’s sure to be hollow.”

“Why?” asked Betsy.

"Because all tubes are made that way. But this Tube is private property and everyone is forbidden to fall into it."

“We didn’t do it on purpose,” explained Betsy, and Polychrome added:

“I am quite sure that Ruggedo, the Nome King, pushed us down that Tube.”

“Ha! Ruggedo! Did you say Ruggedo?” cried the man, becoming much excited.

“That is what she said,” replied Shaggy, “and I believe she is right. We were on our way to conquer the Nome King when suddenly we fell into the Tube.”

“Then you are enemies of Ruggedo?” inquired the Peculiar Person.

“Not exac’ly enemies,” said Betsy, a little puzzled by the question, “'cause we don’t know him at all; but we started out to conquer him, which isn’t as friendly as it might be.”

“True,” agreed the man. He looked thoughtfully from one to another of them for a while and then he turned his head over his shoulder and said: “Never mind the fire and pincers, my good brothers. It will be best to take these strangers to the Private Citizen.”

“Very well, Tubekins,” responded a Voice, deep and powerful, that seemed to come out of the air, for the speaker was invisible.

All our friends gave a jump, at this. Even Polychrome was so startled that her gauze draperies fluttered like a banner in a breeze. Shaggy shook his head and sighed; Queen Ann looked very unhappy; the officers clung to each other, trembling violently.

But soon they gained courage to look more closely at the Peculiar Person. As he was a type of all the inhabitants of this extraordinary land whom they afterward met, I will try to tell you what he looked like.

His face was beautiful, but lacked expression. His eyes were large and blue in color and his teeth finely formed and white as snow. His hair was black and bushy and seemed inclined to curl at the ends. So far no one could find any fault with his appearance. He wore a robe of scarlet, which did not cover his arms and extended no lower than his bare knees. On the bosom of the robe was embroidered a terrible dragon’s head, as horrible to look at as the man was beautiful. His arms and legs were left bare and the skin of one arm was bright yellow and the skin of the other arm a vivid green. He had one blue leg and one pink one, while both his feet – which showed through the open sandals he wore – were jet black.

Betsy could not decide whether these gorgeous colors were dyes or the natural tints of the skin, but while she was thinking it over the man who had been called “Tubekins” said:

“Follow me to the Residence – all of you!”

But just then a Voice exclaimed: “Here’s another of them, Tubekins, lying in the water of the fountain.”

“Gracious!” cried Betsy; “it must be Tik-Tok, and he’ll drown.”

“Water is a bad thing for his clockworks, anyhow,” agreed Shaggy, as with one accord they all started for the fountain. But before they could reach it, invisible hands raised Tik-Tok from the marble basin and set him upon his feet beside it, water dripping from every joint of his copper body.

“Ma – ny tha – tha – tha – thanks!” he said; and then his copper jaws clicked together and he could say no more. He next made an attempt to walk but after several awkward trials found he could not move his joints.

Peals of jeering laughter from persons unseen greeted Tik-Tok’s failure, and the new arrivals in this strange land found it very uncomfortable to realize that there were many creatures around them who were invisible, yet could be heard plainly.

“Shall I wind him up?” asked Betsy, feeling very sorry for Tik-Tok.

“I think his machinery is wound; but he needs oiling,” replied Shaggy.

At once an oil-can appeared before him, held on a level with his eyes by some unseen hand. Shaggy took the can and tried to oil Tik-Tok’s joints. As if to assist him, a strong current of warm air was directed against the copper man, which quickly dried him. Soon he was able to say “Ma-ny thanks!” quite smoothly and his joints worked fairly well.

“Come!” commanded Tubekins, and turning his back upon them he walked up the path toward the castle.

“Shall we go?” asked Queen Ann, uncertainly; but just then she received a shove that almost pitched her forward on her head; so she decided to go. The officers who hesitated received several energetic kicks, but could not see who delivered them; therefore they also decided – very wisely – to go. The others followed willingly enough, for unless they ventured upon another terrible journey through the Tube they must make the best of the unknown country they were in, and the best seemed to be to obey orders.