Forgotten

The Silvermoon Pack

Volume 5

Virginie T.

Translated by Cristina M. Botilca

Cover design by Designs EE

© 2026. T. Virginie 33390 Berson 

Prologue

Billy

My head is caught in a vise and my ears are ringing, as if my chainsaw had twisted my eardrums and a tree had fallen on my skull, which is absurd since there are never accidents when I’m around. I love my job as a lumberjack, and safety is my top priority. I sense movement around me, the scent of my own lingering in the air, but I’m unable to open my eyes. When I really think about it—or try to—I can’t manage to move or speak. I’m like I’m nailed to this bed I don’t recognize. It isn’t mine. It’s unsettling. Why can’t I do anything? I strain my memory and my body, in vain, before plunging back into nothingness too quickly to fight it.

How long have I been asleep in this unfamiliar place? I have no idea. It’s getting harder and harder to take stock of my surroundings. Still, I don’t lose hope. This time will be the right one—the one where I wake up. I don’t know why I’m being drugged—it’s the only possible explanation for my condition—but I’ll make whoever held me prisoner pay. I fight with all my strength against whatever they’re injecting into me, strength that feels pitifully weak. I’m a powerful shapeshifter. And yet, I have no more energy than a kitten.

“Come on, buddy. It’s time to come back to us. I absolutely need to talk to you about Lessie.” 

Mathew? Mathew is near me? I like that wolf. He’ll officially become the pack’s new healer as soon as he seals his bond with Lessie. A healer… Why would I need a healer?

“And what do you plan on telling him about me?”

Lessie is here too. I’m glad to know their situation is improving. Some pack laws aren’t designed to make life easy. Lessie’s youth prevents them from bonding for several more months, and lunar madness is stalking Mathew.

I don’t envy his position, which will unfortunately soon be mine. I’m approaching thirty. I’ll be the next wolf to descend into madness in the absence of a mate. I know I’ll have to deal with it. Soon.

“I’ll tell him how happy I am to be with you and how proud I am of the woman you’re becoming. I’ll also ask him to help you mark out the trails you want for your hikes.”

“There’s no rush, Mathew. I’m sure he’ll get involved in my project as soon as he feels better.”

“I don’t doubt that either.”

I listen to them, and I feel like I’m intruding on their conversation. They must know I’m here somewhere, that I can hear them. I push harder against the invisible restraints holding me prisoner, I insist until they finally give way. 

“Mm…”

It’s not much, but it’s already a good start. That simple groan is enough to stir the people around me. I struggle to open my eyes. My eyelids feel like they weigh a ton each. Still, I don’t give up. I won’t go back to that sinister place filled with indistinct shadows and meaningless words. When I finally manage it, I see Mathew’s face close to mine, looming over me.

“Hey, Billy. Welcome back to the land of the living.”

What a strange thing to say. Was I dead at some point? No, I would know. I turn my head to scan my surroundings, searching for clues about where I am, but I don’t recognize anything. There’s medical equipment everywhere, without the characteristic smell of hospitals.

“Mathew? Where am I?”

“At your place. You had an accident. I brought you home.”

“What accident? What are you talking about?”

Chapter 1

Billy

I’ve been walking for hours alongside Lessie, like every day since I woke up. She doesn’t complain, following me without argument, even though we both know that the various hiking trails she wanted to mark out have been ready for several weeks already. We go over the routes supposedly looking for a problem, a safety violation, but it’s only an excuse. In reality, I don’t know what I’m looking for on these trails. Answers, I suppose. I woke up ten months ago with an entire period of my life missing. No matter how hard I push my memory, I remember absolutely nothing except an incredible pair of eyes that appear to me every night. Irises that haunt me with their beauty, without my being able to remember who they belong to. Mathew couldn’t help me despite all his attempts, since he spent his time at the hospital while I was at his apartment. That’s where the whole problem lies. I was alone. I’m the only one who could possibly know what I did during his absence, and I’m incapable of remembering it. I wanted to go there, but it would have been too dangerous. I fell several stories. I should have died, and ten days later, I was like new, without the slightest visible aftereffect. That would have raised far too many questions—questions it was better to avoid

“Billy, you’re lost in thought again.”

I bring my attention back to Lessie, who has changed dramatically during my short absence. She’s matured. She’s now a magnificent she-wolf with her head on straight, eager to contribute to the pack and prove to her mate that she’s worthy of him. As if Mathew ever doubted it…

“Sorry. I was thinking.”

“As usual. Did you visit Jaxen today?”

I let out a low growl without answering her.

“He just wants to help you, Billy.”

“You’re in a good position to know that sometimes, there’s nothing he can do.”

I regret my words the moment they leave my mouth. A lot has happened while I was gone. Mathew’s psychopathic brother showed up, and Sacha ended up bonding with him in order to have a mate. It’s a sensitive subject for Lessie, who believes her sister sacrificed herself for her. Personally, I suspect her gesture was more selfish than it seems. Sacha was skirting lunar madness after Duke’s rejection. She’d become bitter and cruel. She simply found a way out, and judging by the news she shares, she made the choice that suited her. It seems she’s happy with Ethan. In any case, Jaxen never managed to soothe Sacha’s resentment, and that’s in no way his fault.

“I’m sorry, Lessie. I’m not feeling great today. I’m sorry.”

She waves away my regrets with a flick of her hand, not lingering on my mood swing.

“It’s fine. I was snappy because I was stuck in bed for several days, fully conscious and treated to gossip thanks to Julie. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose part of your memory.”

No, she can’t—and I wouldn’t wish it on her.

“We’re done for today. I think everything’s secure. You’ll be able to start the excursions with tourists soon.”

It’ll be a new source of income for the pack, and the marked trails are far enough from our territory that they won’t interfere with our habits.

“We both know these walks are just an excuse for you to clear your head.”

“Lessie, wouldn’t you like to go back to being the carefree, less perceptive kid you were a few months ago?”

Her crystalline laugh echoes between the trees, sending a multitude of birds fleeing.

“I still am sometimes, but I also know how to be serious and attentive.”

“I know. I’m just tired of talking in circles. I’m going nowhere. My thoughts lead absolutely nowhere. I’m starting to think I should just let it go, learn to live with this missing period, act like it never existed.”

“Except it’s hard when you can’t put a face to a gaze.”

I watch her for a moment, narrowing my eyes.

“I swear, I like you less and less.”

She bumps into me as she passes, whipping me with her hair in the process.

“We both know that’s not true. I’m adorable.”

This time, it’s my turn to chuckle. That’s why I keep walking with Lessie even though she clearly no longer needs my help. Despite our occasional serious conversations, she’s the only one who manages to make my daily life lighter these days.

“Come on, let’s head back down before Mathew comes looking for us.”

“If you insist. I like him missing me.”

“I don’t doubt it. The Silvermoon, a bit less.”

Those two have loud reunions. The river has become their refuge, for everyone’s peace of mind, much to the despair of the other couples. It seems the ardor of newly bonded pairs knows no limits.

    A pang in my chest catches me by surprise, and I push it away as best I can. Every time I think about the bond, a knot forms in my chest and steals my breath. It’s been happening more and more often lately, striking when I least expect it. I just celebrated my thirtieth birthday. I assume it’s the consequence of this milestone, the beginning of trouble. Except that aside from this inexplicable reaction, I don’t feel any change happening inside me. Nothing at all. I remember Aaron’s aggression at the height of lunar madness, when he needed all his energy to keep his wolf under control. That’s not my case at all. My animal is as calm as ever, though since my awakening, I feel him as more… sad, a little dimmed, without understanding why. Honestly, I’m not even sure he knows himself. He simply seems very solitary, as if he were trying to call out to his soulmate without being able to find her. Nothing truly dangerous in itself, but an isolation that weighs on me more heavily with each passing day.

“There you are at last!”

Lessie and I exchange a knowing smile as Mathew arrives.

“You knew exactly where we were, Mathew.”

“I mostly know that I missed you.”

The couple embraces and kisses passionately. More than embarrassment, I feel a longing pulsing through my veins, a desire impossible to satisfy.

“Billy, are you okay?”

My friend’s interruption makes me realize I’m growling under my breath. It isn’t directed at him, and even less at Lessie. In fact, it isn’t aimed at anyone in particular.

“Sorry.”

“You’re feeling… empty again?”

I’ve already discussed it at length with Mathew, Lessie, and of course Jaxen, without any of us managing to find an explanation.

“Yes. It’s nothing.”

He clearly doesn’t think the same.

“We should go back to my old building. Aaron’s arguments when you woke up were justified, but there’s nothing to worry about now. Maybe it would unlock your memory.”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll talk to him about it again.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, it’s unnecessary. Enjoy your mate.”

I know Mathew. I know he won’t let me make this trip alone. I also know Lessie won’t be part of this adventure. Her place is in Silver City. It’s extremely difficult for a shapeshifter to endure the auditory and olfactory assaults of a big city. He’ll never want to inflict that kind of torture on his mate, and I understand that. I think. Truth be told, I don’t remember leaving Silver City to support Mathew back then, so I don’t know how I handled the change. Apparently, not very well, judging by my accident…

    Aaron is never hard to find. When he’s in the village, all you have to do is follow the sound of a child’s laughter. Reese is an adorable little whirlwind who has melted the entire pack’s heart, a high-energy cub who also drives us completely crazy by running all over the territory without the slightest restriction. In reality, he does have limits, but he’s a free spirit, a future alpha with a probable gift for healing souls, which makes him a free electron. And there he is, galloping like a madman despite his four short legs. I catch him on the fly, savoring the softness of his fur and his scent of nature.

“Where do you think you’re going like that?”

He gnaws on my fingers as Aaron arrives on two legs, looking exasperated and out of breath.

“Thanks, Billy. Without you, I probably would’ve been chasing him for hours.”

The downside of having a future alpha for a son is that he resists his father’s alpha waves far better than anyone else. As for me, the few times Aaron has used them, I’ve been forced flat to the ground, unable to move or even think. I hate it. Still, Aaron is an excellent alpha. He only uses that innate ability as a last resort.

“You do realize he’s drooling all over you, right?”

“He’s having fun, like all cubs.”

“He nips, and his mother disapproves. He has an unfortunate habit of gnawing on the furniture.”

I’m aware. Lilou never stops ordering new furniture from me. She isn’t superficial and understands our respect for nature and resource preservation. However, Reese chews the furniture legs so much they end up unable to stand. In fact, the latest sideboard doesn’t have any, at the request of my alpha female, who comes up with new ways every day to channel her son.

“Where’s Lilou?”

“At the inn. Betty had to go visit an old friend in a neighboring pack.”

I smile, thinking that at her age, Betty has nothing but old friends anyway.

“She asked her to supervise the evening in her absence, and she’ll start early tomorrow morning for a long day.”

Which means he’ll have to handle the little whirlwind alone, without his mate, who usually takes Reese with her to the Silver City inn. Among the Silvermoon, the child is rarely on two legs, but he quickly understood the concept of secrecy and stays in human form in the city without any trouble. That wasn’t always the case, but now he’s assimilated that simple rule—one Lilou never bends.

However, I’m not here to talk about Reese. I have my own priorities, and it’s more than time I deal with them.

“I came to ask your permission to leave the pack for a few days.”

In reality, I don’t need his permission at all. Still, it’s customary to inform the alpha of a prolonged absence. In a way, he’s responsible for us.

“You finally decided to look for a mate since you didn’t choose a Silvermoon.”

It’s a reasonable assumption, but in my case, it doesn’t apply.

“I mainly want to recover my memory. I need it, Aaron. I feel like a part of me is missing, and I can’t shake that feeling.”

“You don’t think it might be an effect of lunar madness? Few wolves have managed to resist it past their thirtieth birthday.”

It’s true. My alpha is an exception to the rule, precisely because of his alpha status.

“No. I’m convinced it’s something else, and my wolf is too. I just don’t know what.”

“All right. I assume Mathew is going with you?”

“Yes. We’ll leave tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn.”

Aaron’s sudden concern hits me full force.

“A problem?”

He tries as best he can to relax his shoulders, especially so he doesn’t pass his mood change on to his son, who’s an emotional sponge.

“The last time you left, you came back in an ambulance and nearly died.”

It’s extremely rare for a shapeshifter to be injured badly enough to fall into a coma. Our immune systems and regeneration are highly efficient. Either we heal in the blink of an eye, or we die within minutes. We aren’t subject to human health complications.

“Everything will be fine, Aaron. I’ll come back by train. Mathew won’t let me out of his sight for a second.”

“Make sure of it. I’ll give him the order myself.”

Chapter 2

Billy

It’s unsettling to leave the pack for the very first time in my life while knowing perfectly well that it’s not true. I’ve already taken this train, I’ve already made this trip—and then I forgot everything. So is it really a first time? Hm. I’m confusing myself.

“Billy, you need to relax. Duke isn’t going to appreciate it if I have to ask the conductor for an emergency stop because you had a meltdown.”

“I’m perfectly relaxed.”

“In that case, maybe you could retract your fangs. We’re just going there and back. With a little luck, we’ll catch the last train of the evening back to the territory.”

I force myself to close my mouth, pricking my tongue with my fangs while taking deep breaths to retract them. Once it’s done, I make things clear.

“I’m not leaving without answers.”

“And that’s why I said: with a little luck. We’ll start with my building. I didn’t get the impression that you moved around much, and I found you two floors up on the day of the accident. You never explained why you were on that landing.”

We’ve talked about it often. Mathew tried everything to help me remember, standing in for my faulty memory during the last moments before my fall. He claims I was deeply troubled, angry, and disturbed, but I apparently never told him why. And in my agitation, I ended up tipping over the stair railing. I smashed onto the tile several floors below, my skull shattered and multiple bones in pieces. Everything repaired itself in a few days—everything except my brain. I’m lucky I only lost a few days of memories. After all, I could’ve forgotten how to walk or eat, or worse, I could’ve forgotten who I am and what I am. No, I just misplaced a few days—the very days that ultimately turned my entire life upside down for an unknown reason.

The scenery flashes by before my eyes without my being able to truly focus on it. As too often happens, my mind is fogged over, wrapped in cotton. I rummage inside myself in search of… anything at all, but the only thing that remains is those eyes. They follow me wherever I go, whether my eyelids are closed or open. I even started sketching them, even though I hate doing that. I’m a lumberjack; I love carving wood, but it would’ve been impossible to capture their beauty in bark. So I took a sheet of paper and scribbled. It’s hard to call it anything else—the drawing looks more like a child’s work than mine. It only amplified my frustration. I don’t know who they belong to. I’m certain they’re a woman’s. They have a slightly elongated shape that’s distinctive. Still, Mathew didn’t really interact with his neighbors or anyone around his building, so he was unable to tell me if he recognized them. In any case, to him they’re just brown irises like so many others in the world. But to me… to me, it’s something else. An obsession of my subconscious that must have a reason for existing.

“We’re arriving at the station. Put in the earplugs.”

I stare at the foam plugs in his hand without taking them. I think I handled the screech of the rails on the train pretty well. I don’t see the point of dulling the sounds.

“Trust me. This station is much bigger than the one in Silver City. Last time, you felt overwhelmed and attacked by the crowd’s conversations running in every direction.”

“All right.”

I trust Mathew. After all, he lived here for years, and he puts the plugs in his own ears, so I do the same, waiting as the train slows.

“Crowd” isn’t the word I would’ve used. It’s more than that. It’s a true cacophony of sounds and smells. Thank goodness I followed my friend’s advice; otherwise, I might’ve gone insane. How can anyone endure this constant din all day long? Personally, I couldn’t. I love the tranquility of my forest. If I listened to myself, I probably would never leave it. Here, everyone’s in a rush, panicking, bumping into each other, ignoring one another. And it’s not just in the station—no, it’s everywhere, even in the streets. The taxi takes us straight to Mathew’s old building through heavy traffic, and I step out reluctantly. The moment the door opens, the noise crashes back in. The city really isn’t for me. Still, I don’t think that’s what caused my fall. Mathew’s apartment was perfectly soundproofed. I could’ve stayed there all day without a problem. Except I left it to go a few floors up. I want to know why. I step into the lobby and come to a halt. It’s strange to think I stained this floor with blood and that there’s no trace left—except for a few grout lines that are slightly darker than the others.

“Do you remember anything?”

I shake my head in response as I start climbing the stairs. With every step, my heart beats a little faster. When I reach the floor I’m interested in, it’s pounding so hard in my chest that I feel it in my temples.

“You okay, Billy?”

Aside from an elevated heart rate and a tight throat, yes.

“Do you know which door I was standing in front of?”

He nods and points to the nearest one. The moment of truth. At least, I hope so.

I ring the doorbell, a dull anxiety lodged in my chest. The wait feels endless, even though it can’t have been more than a few seconds before the door cracks open. An elderly woman stands there, gray-streaked hair and a kind face. I don’t see why I would’ve spent any time with her.

“What can I do for you, gentlemen?”

Mathew stays back, letting me pursue my answers.

“My question will probably sound strange, but do we know each other? Have you ever seen me in the building?”

“No, but I’ve only been in this apartment for five months, so I haven’t had the chance to meet all my neighbors yet.”

Five months. So she wasn’t the person I came to see during my stay.

“Do you know who lived here before you?”

“It was a sweet young couple expecting a baby. They moved to get something bigger. I’m sorry, I don’t know their name, but I’m sure the real estate agency I went through could tell you. Don’t move, I’ll get you a card.”

It was a couple, and they were expecting a child. All my assumptions collapse at once. I’d thought—maybe—that it was my soulmate. Sure, it didn’t make sense since lunar madness hasn’t sunk its claws into me, but after a coma, nothing about me is entirely certain anymore. I hoped to discover the owner of those magnificent irises behind this door, and once again, I’ve hit a dead end.

“Billy?”

I don’t need to turn around to know Mathew sensed my distress.

“I’m fine.”

I don’t say more—first because I don’t want to lie to my friend, and second because the old woman reappears in the doorway, a wide smile on her wrinkled face.

“Here you go, young man.”

She hands me the business card of a real estate agency before taking her leave. She couldn’t tell us anything useful. There was no point lingering on her landing. The place doesn’t remind me of anything at all. It simply gives rise to an inexplicable sense of loss that gnaws at me from the inside.

“Let’s go, Billy. I know where that agency’s offices are. We’ll head there and try to get more information.”

“For what? It’s a married couple. I had no reason to be there. Maybe it was just a coincidence that I snapped on that floor.”

“Maybe, but you’ll feel calmer if you’re sure.”

Mathew is right. If I don’t get to the bottom of this, I’ll keep tormenting myself with it indefinitely.

We weave between cars and hurried pedestrians in heavy silence. I’m irritated by not remembering my own life. I’m right here, where it happened. Unconsciously, I’d hoped something would click inside me and everything would come rushing back at once. It seems I was overly optimistic, because nothing of the sort happened. I’m still navigating blind—on top of feeling deeply uncomfortable in this big city. I already can’t wait to return to Silver City.

“Billy, breathe. Your eyes are a little too—”

He doesn’t finish the sentence; he doesn’t need to. My vision has sharpened, subtly altered. There are suddenly fewer color nuances. My wolf has risen to the surface, and it’s his irises that show through mine. I pause, pushing him back into my mind, closing my eyes briefly so my human pupils can reclaim their place.

“That’s better. The agency is right there.”

I follow his gesture, and we come upon a very talkative receptionist.

“What can I do for you, gentlemen?”

“We’d like some information about former tenants at an address your agency manages.”

“Of course, if I can help.”

Even though Mathew is the one speaking to her, she has eyes only for me, and it’s impossible not to notice her little performance. Beside me, Mathew snickers at her exaggerated eyelash fluttering. Apparently, she doesn’t see many lumberjacks in plaid shirts around here. Come to think of it, that must be the case. So I cross my arms to flex my biceps a bit, just to secure her full cooperation, and she’s practically fanning herself. Seriously, what woman reacts like that? None in Silver City—and honestly, I prefer it that way. We spend part of our time undressing to shapeshift. If she’s drooling while I’m fully clothed, what would it be like in those moments? I don’t think I’d feel particularly comfortable playing the role of prey. After all, I’m a predator.

Using the address, the receptionist gives us the former tenants’ names: Mr. and Mrs. Davis. A charming couple expecting a happy event. By now, they must’ve had their baby, blah blah blah. She tells us nothing interesting and doesn’t know where they live today, since it wasn’t her agency that handled their new place.

“Did their relationship seem strange to you?”

Has Mathew lost his mind? What is he trying to find out?

“Oh, not at all. Mrs. Davis was very smiley, hand on her belly, and Mr. Davis looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world. I dream of having a relationship like theirs.”

She underscores her words by staring at me so intently that I excuse myself and leave the building. Damn it. I never want to cross paths with a woman like her again. I finally understand how some women feel—like nothing more than a piece of meat under a man’s gaze. That’s exactly what I just experienced. Mathew, for his part, bursts out laughing the moment he steps outside.

“Would you stop?”

“You ran away from a female in heat! When I tell Lessie about this—”

Please, no. She’ll tease me for weeks.

“She didn’t interest me, and I found her very pushy.”

“Pushy? If she’d been a she-wolf, she would’ve jumped you on the spot.”

“Like Lessie did with you.”

Far from apologizing, my friend now wears a massive grin.

“One of the best moments of my life.”

I don’t doubt it. Meeting your soulmate is always intense, and with an impulsive she-wolf like Lessie, it was downright explosive. Within minutes, she’d leapt into Mathew’s arms and growled at her mother. A memorable moment for the pack.

“What do you want to do now, Billy?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t think the Davis couple will teach us anything. We’ve already been told twice they were completely ordinary, and I never would’ve flirted with a married woman. She can’t be the one who obsesses me.”

“Probably not.”

“We should go back.”

“Are you sure?”

“What else do you want to do?”

“Question my former neighbors. You never know. Some of them might’ve seen you or heard something. Neighbors are a bit like pack members, they listen at doors.”

“Okay, but unless there’s a miracle, we’re taking the train back tonight.”

That’s not what I told him on the train, but I suddenly have the feeling I shouldn’t be here.

“I really don’t want to keep you away from Lessie any longer than necessary. She’d make me pay for it.”

“My mate isn’t like that.”

I raise an eyebrow, and he laughs, shaking his head.

“All right. Maybe she is.”

Chapter 3

Rose

My heart is pounding as I wait on the platform. No matter how much I repeat to myself that I have no other choice, I’m not entirely sure I made the right decision either. A muffled yelp tells me that I do, in fact, need answers. I can’t keep burying my head in the sand any longer. I need help, information, something… anything. None of this is normal, and I am more alone than I have ever been. I cut myself off from my friends and family as soon as I realized something was wrong. Because whatever he is, I love him. He is a part of me, and I will never give him up. Still, I don’t know how I’m supposed to raise him, or whether he has specific needs. Damn it, what a mess have I gotten myself into? I flinch as the train rumbles into the station, and the cries grow louder inside the stroller.

“Shh, my love. You’re going to give us away.”

Why did he have to take that form this very morning? It doesn’t happen every day. It’s completely random and, above all, unpredictable.

I still remember the very first time he changed. I had been arguing with Rodney—for the thousandth time in months—when suddenly, I no longer had a baby in my arms but a wolf. A wolf pup, growling at my husband and baring his fangs. I dropped him in shock. He landed on his paws and went straight for Rodney’s calves, biting down hard. I haven’t had a single moment of peace since that day. More than a month spent fleeing everyone’s stares, hiding my son who doesn’t always have two legs, avoiding mandatory medical appointments and acquaintances who all want to meet my miracle. Because my son is a miracle. Despite his peculiarity, he is still the most beautiful thing in the world—my treasure, my universe—and I will protect him until the end of my life. But he also brings me a lot of trouble. Of course, after that episode, Rodney understood that he wasn’t the father. He had always suspected it, but now he had confirmation. And above all, he decided he could make money off my son. Once the initial horror passed, he thought it through. Rodney has always been an opportunist. He suddenly thought about selling him to a lab. As if I would ever agree to hand my baby over to a lab that would torture him to understand what he is! Faced with the ferocity of my refusal, he backed down. At least, on the surface. I overheard a phone conversation. He was asking how to train a wild animal. Train? My son isn’t a beast, he’s just a baby! I ran away as soon as I could and am now heading to the only place mentioned by his father—his real father.

Thinking about him still hurts just as much. We didn’t part on good terms. I lied to him, and he resented me for it. But he wasn’t exactly honest either, and here we are. Anger rises inside me, my blood heating dangerously in my veins. I take several deep breaths to calm myself. The more agitated I get, the more Lucas stirs and growls. If I want any chance of getting my sweet baby back, I need to stay as calm as possible. I quickly realized that shouting and anxiety trigger his transformation.

Unfortunately, while taking the form of a wolf pup only takes a few seconds, the reverse process always seems much longer.

“Come on, buddy. Make Mommy happy. Turn back into my sweet little baby. I want to give you your bottle.”

Usually, hunger does the trick. It’s as if he understands what I’m saying, which is impossible. He’s not even two months old. He can’t have that level of comprehension, but honestly, what’s possible or not doesn’t mean much anymore. Babies aren’t supposed to grow fur and howl at the moon over the slightest frustration. Luckily, my strategy works, and a few minutes later—after dreadful bone-cracking sounds that make me grit my teeth every time—I hear my son’s cooing beneath the blanket hiding him from everyone’s eyes. I carefully lift the fabric and see that my boy is back, naked as a worm, as always. I don’t even bother dressing him anymore. He kept destroying clothes, and since the weather is nice this season, I just put a diaper on him when he’s in human form.

Thankfully, Lucas sometimes reacts like any normal baby: once his bottle is empty, he immediately dozes off. If everything goes well, he should sleep through the entire train ride to Silver City. I did some research on the town without finding much. It’s a small place with very few residents, mainly a stopover for hiking enthusiasts who generally don’t stay more than a day. I understand why Billy settled there. That man has turned my life upside down in so many ways. I knew the instant I met him that he wasn’t an ordinary man. Still, I never would have imagined he was that different from me. A werewolf! I slept with a werewolf! If I keep repeating it over and over, maybe I’ll eventually believe it. Between us, everything felt so… obvious. In his arms, I felt desirable again, beautiful, a woman. I had forgotten those sensations long ago. I felt more alive than ever. Unfortunately, I’m married. It was the very first time I ever cheated. I simply couldn’t resist. I suppose Billy did something to enchant me. After all, I had never once thought about betraying my husband before meeting him. Leaving him, yes—I think about it more and more—but cheating, never. Everything happened so fast. A few words exchanged, the air vibrating between us, our bodies drawn together like magnets, and then I made the mistake that led me onto this train. After months of trying unsuccessfully to have a child, I had eventually mourned the idea, especially since my relationship with Rodney had grown extremely tense. It turns out the problem wasn’t me after all. I simply didn’t have the right partner. Lucas had no trouble nesting inside me, staying hidden there for many long weeks. It took me a while to realize I was pregnant. Billy’s sudden departure had shaken me, not to mention Rodney’s constant reproaches. Since I’ve never been regular as clockwork, I didn’t notice I was late until three months had passed. Three months during which this wonderful little being grew sheltered from all eyes, wrapped in the most beautiful secret.

“What a beautiful baby you have!”

“Thank you.”

“How old is he?”

My seatmate gushes over Lucas for several minutes, asking me lots of questions I don’t necessarily want to answer. My son is different in many ways. He sleeps a little less than a baby his age should and eats a lot more. I assume the transformations require an enormous amount of energy, hence his insatiable appetite.

“Who does he get those gorgeous eyes from?”

At those words, I realize Lucas’s eyes are open—and they’re a little too bright, tinged with yellow. Not now…

“Excuse me, I need to go to the restroom.”

“Oh, I can hold your baby if you want. You’ll be more comfortable.”

I dodge her arms, already reaching for Lucas.

“That’s not necessary, but thank you for the offer. That’s very kind. I’m used to it.”

“Another father who doesn’t take responsibility…”

I don’t respond to my temporary neighbor’s remark. I leave my seat in a hurry, crossing my fingers that we’re close to our destination, and take refuge in the restroom, Lucas pressed tightly against my chest. In my haste, I didn’t bring the stroller. Besides, it’s hard to maneuver down the aisle, especially when you’re in a rush.

“Hold on just a little longer, my angel. We’re almost there. You can do it. You’re strong.”

I rock him gently while humming a soothing tune that tends to lull him back to sleep. His eyelids slowly lower, and I take the opportunity to admire every detail of his face. He has my long features, but his eyes are unmistakably his father’s. As for his mouth, I’d say it’s a mix of both of us—slightly full, often wearing a pout I never have.

“I hope your daddy will take responsibility and take care of you. He’s in for quite a surprise…”

When I learned I was pregnant, I obviously had doubts about the father. Very slight doubts, since Rodney and I were barely intimate anymore. Still, it only takes one time to conceive. In short, I wondered if Billy could be the father, and I swore I would never try to find out. After all, he left without looking back, and I didn’t need him to raise my son. But events proved me wrong, and I honestly have no idea how I’m going to announce something like this. I mean, I’m going to show up in his town, all innocent, with a baby in my arms, telling him it’s his son, when we haven’t had any contact for ten months. That is, of course, if I even find him, since I don’t even know his last name. All I can do is look for a lumberjack named Billy and hope for the best. Needless to say, I’m not confident at all, but it’s not like I have a choice.

“We’re going to make it, big guy. I’m going to introduce you to your daddy, and with a little luck, he’ll fall for your angel face and forget our disagreements.”

I get off the train even more anxious than when I boarded it. My heart rate is close to breaking point, my breathing choppy from stress, which makes my poor Lucas yelp at the top of his lungs. I had to adapt the stroller by adding a leash to keep him from jumping out and running off. The result: the stroller rocks violently under the force of his attempts to break free, and I’m on the verge of tears at the ordeal I’m putting him through. He should be free to move. But I can’t reasonably let him roam around the middle of town. Well, town is a big word. Silver City looks more like a long street lined with shops on both sides. Since I’m not sure where to start, I head toward the inn, the building closest to the station, under the inquisitive gazes of the other tourists who got off the train at the same time as me. Lucas’s yelps inevitably draw attention and spark questions.

“My son likes making animal noises.”

My smile is stiff, my shoulders tense as I quicken my pace away from the curious onlookers, praying Lucas will finally calm down. I can’t walk into the inn with an overexcited wolf pup in a stroller without drawing attention. It’s still early, the area is quiet, and most of the tourists didn’t head in my direction, slowly dispersing along the peaceful street.

I pace back and forth in front of the building, speaking softly to Lucas to soothe him, rolling my head to ease the tension in my upper body—at least as much as possible. Given my stress level, I’m not going to work miracles anyway.

“Can I help you?”

I jump when a young woman appears in front of me. I didn’t hear her approach, and the yelp I let out triggers displeased growls from beneath the blanket hiding my son. Instantly, the newcomer’s gaze locks onto the stroller, and I instinctively step in front of it to block her view, even though the blanket is still in place, concealing Lucas effectively.

“Don’t mind him. My son is playing.”

I watch her wrinkle her nose as she inhales deeply. That’s strange. Lucas does that too. He loves breathing in my scent.

“Which pack are you from?”

“Which pack?”

I don’t understand what this woman is talking about, and my lack of knowledge must be written all over my face.

“Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. I know what your son is.”

“You’re lucky.”

I clamp my hand over my mouth immediately, but it’s already too late. The young woman heard my instinctive response, and her eyes widen for a moment before she regains her composure. All this time spent watching every word and gesture, only to be caught by the first person who tells me she knows what Lucas is.

“Come with me. Let’s go inside. We’ll be more comfortable.”

I shake my head, stepping back.

“No, that’s kind, but I just need—”

She cuts me off, finishing my sentence for me.

“Help, if you don’t know what your son is. Don’t be afraid. I mean you no harm.”

She plants herself in front of me, and for a brief moment, her irises flare with a wild glow.

“Good God, you’re like him!”

She gives a small nod and gestures for me to enter the inn.

Chapter 4

Rose

I look around with curiosity as I follow this woman, who seems to know far more than I do about Lucas. She places a small sign on the reception counter, indicating she will be back shortly, then walks around it to open the door just behind. I find myself facing a real children’s playroom.

“I regularly bring my son to work. Betty, my boss, is completely crazy about him. She set this room up for him.”

She then places her hand on the blanket, and I grab her wrist before she has time to pull it aside.

“It’s all right. My name is Lilou. I just want to see your son. You’re human, aren’t you?”

I nod, unable to utter a single word.

“I imagine all of this is confusing for you. I remember the moment my partner showed me what he is. I had a bit of trouble getting used to it. I promise you I’m on your side. Your son is angry, and an angry wolf cub can be dangerous. I’m just going to encourage him to return to human form.”

“He only does it when he decides to.”

“Not with me.”

I’m not sure what she means by that. Still, I sense her kindness, and her friendly face makes me want to trust her. So I gently loosen my fingers from her skin and watch as she removes the blanket.

“He’s very young. He looks like a stuffed animal.”

Her expression softens as she looks at my baby, who watches her while lifting his little snout.

“He already has instincts.”

Lilou unties the leash holding Lucas and bends down to his snout level. Her eyes change as she stares at my little boy.

“Return to human form. Now.”

Immediately, the transformation begins, and Lucas becomes a thumb-sucking infant again.

“How did you do that? I’ve already asked him, but it never works this fast!”

“It’s a wolf thing. I’m the alpha female of the pack. He simply can’t disobey if I give him an order and infuse it with alpha waves.”

I feel like she’s speaking Chinese.

“You didn’t understand a single word of what I just explained.”

Tears well up in my eyes. I feel utterly inadequate. She knows my son better than I do, even though she has just met him.

“No, don’t be sad. What’s your name?”

“Rose.”

“Rose. Very well. I don’t know what brought you to Silver City, but you’re in the right place to learn everything you’ll need to raise your son. I understand your reaction. You’ve stepped into an unfamiliar world, but I assure you it isn’t a bad one. Shapeshifters are people like everyone else, just with extra fangs.”

“Shapeshifters? Is that your species? Sorry, I don’t know how else to say it.”

“No problem. Yes, you could say it’s our species, but I was born human, just like you. Let’s not get into those kinds of details right now; it’ll only confuse you. For the moment, let’s focus on this lovely baby.”

“His name is Lucas. He’ll be two months old soon.”

“Such a young baby. I adopted my son. He was a little over a year old when I took him in. I didn’t know shapeshifters transformed from birth. But I do know shapeshifter children are full of energy. They can be exhausting.”

“I haven’t had a real night’s sleep since he was born.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. May I ask you a question?”

“Anything you want, but you already know much more than I do.”

She giggles while stroking Lucas’s cheek, and he doesn’t take his eyes off her.

“Why did you come specifically to Silver City? How did you know you’d find someone here who could help you?”

“Actually, I wasn’t sure. I was hoping to find Lucas’s father.”

“What’s his name? I’m part of the Silvermoon. We’re the only pack living around here, and I know all the wolves who belong to it.”

I would have preferred to tell Billy about his paternity first, but I have a feeling Lilou could be a support for me if I need one. She’s a mother. She’ll understand that I’m ready to do anything for my son.

“His name is Billy. He’s a lumberjack.”

“Holy—”

She starts counting on her fingers, and I guess what she’s looking for.

“He lived in my building a few months ago.”

“Yes, with Mathew, another one of my wolves. He’s our healer. I can—”

She doesn’t finish her sentence and pulls down the collar of my T-shirt. I slap her hand away, but she has seen what she was looking for.

“Holy fucking hell! How are you feeling, Rose?”

“I was doing just fine until you started acting weird. I mean, even weirder, because everything has been abnormal in my life for two months anyway.”

“Sorry, sorry. I need to make a phone call. Everything is fine. It’s just that… I really wasn’t expecting this.”

“I take it Billy never talked about me.”

A sharp pain hits my heart at the thought that I didn’t matter enough to him for my name to come up in passing, but deep down, why would it have? I was nothing more than a fling that ended rather badly.

“I think it’s a bit more complicated than that, Rose. I have a feeling you don’t know what happened, am I right?”

“Billy went home and forgot about me.”

“You can say that again…”

A second blow to the heart. I brush away a single tear rolling down my cheek. Still, I wasn’t as quick as I thought. Lilou squeezes my hand while taking out her phone.

“Everything is going to be okay, Rose. There are a lot of holes in this story and probably a great many misunderstandings. But I’m sure of one thing: you belong with the Silvermoon. You and your son have found a big family. As for Billy, you probably think you need him for Lucas, but I can assure you that he’s the one who needs you.”

“I doubt that.”

“He came back to town this morning, Rose. I think he’s looking for you without knowing it’s you.”

“What you’re saying doesn’t make any sense.”

“As I just told you, there are quite a few gray areas in your story. Let me call my partner. He’s the alpha of the Silvermoon. That means he leads the pack. He’ll take you back to our territory.”

“I thought Billy lived in Silver City.”

Her eyes start to sparkle.

“We’re half wolf. Do you picture us running on all fours down Main Street?”

I grimace at the image.

“No, I guess not.”

“We have a more isolated territory next to Silver City. However, most of the town’s shops belong to us. It’s my partner’s family who founded this place to provide the pack with a steady income.”

“Smart.”

“Isn’t it? I’ll be right back. Make yourself at home. There’s a changing table at the back of the room and way too many toys for one child. You can put Lucas on the floor, and don’t worry if he transforms. This room is claw- and bite-proof.”

She leaves the room, leaving me alone with Lucas.

“My little guy, it looks like we’ve found the help we needed.”

I’m still afraid of meeting Billy. Billy, who is apparently looking for me. He’s not about to find me, first because he isn’t searching in the right place, and second because we didn’t exchange enough information for him to track me down. Since he left, I moved and then I ran away. I just hope he doesn’t cross paths with Rodney. I doubt their second meeting would go well. The first one was… I shiver, pushing away the unpleasant memory.

“Do you want to go on the floor, Lucas?”

My baby coos, forming bubbles with his mouth. In moments like these, I almost feel like I have a normal baby, until I catch his gaze—too alert, too intelligent for his age. On a soft mat, I have fun blowing on his sweet little belly, making noises that delight him. He smiles at me with his toothless mouth while blowing back in return.

“He really is adorable. I’m sorry I left you alone for so long, but there’s no one else to handle reception today.”

I glance at Lilou over my shoulder.

“No problem. As you can see, Lucas seems perfectly comfortable here.”

“He must be smelling other shapeshifters. That’s important for him. Wolves live in packs. We take after the animal in many ways. On top of that, his hearing and sense of smell are more developed than average, and his vision is sharper. Living downtown, surrounded by so many stimuli, must have been overwhelming for him.”

“Do you think he could have suffered because of it?”

Could my ignorance have hurt my son?

“No, no. His health isn’t in danger, and he’s clearly doing wonderfully. Mathew will examine him when he gets back if you’d like, but I’m certain he’s fine. However, I do think his habit of constantly transforming is a result of that overload of stimulation.”

“Okay. Yes, I’d like a doctor’s opinion.”

“Good. I’ll arrange that. Aaron will be here in a few minutes. He’ll take you to the Silvermoon, and Lucas will be with my son Reese.”

Lucas is finally going to spend time with another child. I’ve never let him interact with another baby. The risk was too great that he might transform and hurt his little friend with his claws or fangs. My son is a sweet boy, but he’s still a baby despite his peculiarity, and he doesn’t realize the extent of what he’s capable of. He has already bitten me accidentally, enough to draw blood. Luckily, his tiny jaw always allowed me to pass those injuries off as the result of a bad encounter with a dog. Here, among people like my son, I won’t have to lie anymore. I hope Lucas will soon learn to control his shape-shifting and quickly understand the dangers of being a wolf cub, but he’s so young. It’s unreal to think he’s able to learn so many things so early in his life. The disturbing thought that he may never be able to have a normal life tightens my chest. During my pregnancy, I had so many dreams for him, so much hope for his future. Everything was quickly called into question, and I’m still not convinced these transformations are a good thing. I will never renounce my son for what he is. I never even considered it. Still, being here, in this small town where the inhabitants seem to live in semi-autarky, I realize my son will probably never have a conventional life.

Lost in my slightly anxiety-inducing thoughts, I jump when the door opens. The man who enters the room is intimidating. He seems enormous, and I’m not sure whether that’s because I’m sitting on the floor. Still, I straighten up, ready for anything. I relax when I notice the adorable little boy he’s holding against his chest: a child of about two who squirms against him, trying to break free, his gaze fixed on my wolf cub. Lucas transformed the moment the stranger walked in.

“Lucas, come here.”

“No, let him be. He’s getting ready to defend you if necessary.”

Indeed, Lucas positions himself in front of me, lifting his lips slightly. The man then sets his son down on the floor and crouches, extending his hand in front of my boy’s snout.

“Easy there, little wild one. I mean you no harm, and neither your mom.”

A silent communication passes among the trio, and then we’re left with two wolf cubs fooling around, the older one clearly identifiable by his larger size.

“Welcome among the Silvermoon, Rose. My name is Aaron. I’m the alpha of the pack, their leader, if you prefer. My partner told me you’re discovering our world. I understand everything must seem strange to you, but you’re safe with us, and Lucas is too. I take care of my wolves.”

“I’m not one of you. I just had a brief affair with a man who turned out to be more than that.”

Aaron presses his lips together tightly before nodding.

“We’ll talk about it again later. For now, I’m going to take you somewhere more peaceful.”

Chapter 5

Billy

There’s no point. We knocked on every single door in the building without exception, and we’re still at the same place—that is, nowhere. No one saw or heard anything. My face doesn’t ring a bell for them, and most of them aren’t even aware that there was a serious accident in their lobby. I suppose the bloodstains on the tiles weren’t clear enough information!

“No one is going to tell us anything, Mathew.”

“No. It’s incredible how nobody wants to help us. Do we look like psychopathic murderers or something?”

I glance at my friend with a smile.

“Not really, no.”

Mathew shakes his head, discouraged.

“I thought that as a former tenant, people wouldn’t be afraid to talk to me. Let’s try the concierge. She might be back.”

I nod without the slightest conviction. Mr. and Mrs. Davis are an unremarkable couple. There’s no connection between my fall and that duo. I suppose I should accept it and move on, but my friend is certainly just as stubborn as I am. Then again, with a partner like Lessie, he’d better be.

We’ve barely knocked on the door when his phone vibrates. He frowns at the name on the screen before stepping a few paces away. That’s when the door swings open in front of me.

“What can I—”

The woman’s voice dies in her throat as she stares at me intently.

“You? I never imagined you’d make it!”

At least she knows who I am.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for Mr. and Mrs. Davis. Would you happen to know how I could contact them?”

“Pfft, you shouldn’t be chasing after that woman, in my opinion. She’ll never leave her husband, believe me.”

“Um, excuse me?”

Is she telling me I flirted with a married woman? I don’t see why that would be.

“Oh, I noticed your little act, the two of you. I have eyes and I know how to use them, you know. I saw you going upstairs together while Mr. Davis was away. It’s not very decent to get in the middle of a couple.”

I’m sure I’ve gone pale. Thank God my beard hides part of my facial expressions.

“I’m not the type to—”

“Oh, you won’t fool me. I’ve been a concierge for years. I watch and listen without ever saying anything—it’s part of the job—but I’m not stupid. Rose interested you, but she wasn’t for you. A girl like her stays respectable in all circumstances. In fact, I’m pretty sure she never let you into her apartment, even though you insisted. But she didn’t want to call the police. I know—I offered. And after all this time, here you are again! I don’t know where the Davises went, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. She was pregnant. They started a family, and you don’t have the right to destroy everything.”

I’m too stunned to answer anything. I step back several paces, eventually colliding with Mathew, who hasn’t heard a word of what the concierge said. All the better. That’s preferable. Otherwise, he would have learned that I’d lost my mind long before my fall.

“Now go on, out! Shoo!”

The concierge’s door slams shut, and the silence that follows is unsettling.

“Billy? What happened?”

I shake myself and straighten up, stopping my slump to recover a confidence I absolutely do not feel.

“Nothing. She didn’t know anything.”

I don’t like lying to my friend, but the truth won’t help him any more than it helped me. On the contrary, I’m even more lost than before, because I don’t recognize the person that woman described.

“We’re stopping. We’re going home.”

I have to forget my time in this city—really forget it. There’s no point in dwelling on an episode I don’t even remember. That’s the whole paradox. I’m obsessed with an event I have no memory of. It’s stupid and, clearly, unhealthy. I’m going back to the Silvermoon and mourn it, in a way. I’ll throw myself into my work, and I’m sure that after a while, those damn eyes will stop taunting me with their beauty.

“All right. Anyway, Aaron needs me, and there was no way I was leaving you here alone.”

Mathew looks at me strangely, and I wonder if he caught snippets of the conversation. Still, he doesn’t add anything, and I’d rather say nothing either.

“Let’s go eat. We’ll take the train back at the end of the day. I’ll book the tickets on the way.”

Perfect. I’m not hungry. I’m not even sure I’m capable of swallowing anything, but I’m eager to leave this building, whatever the reason.

The meal was… bleak, deadly silent. Mathew kept watching me out of the corner of his eye, and to avoid having to talk, I acted as though I hadn’t noticed a thing. It’s pathetic, but I’m still reeling from the concierge’s revelations. Why would I have tried to insert myself into the middle of a couple? My wolf is trying to whisper something to me that I refuse to hear. I’d rather believe I’m crazy than admit the only logical conclusion to this whole story. I know exactly what could have caused such unusual behavior. Except it’s impossible. I couldn’t have forgotten something so crucial in a shapeshifter’s life. Unthinkable. And that kind of rejection? I would never have fought my way out of a coma after such a crushing blow. No, I’ve simply lost my mind. The urban environment disrupted my senses, and I cracked. It’s possible, after all. I’m a forest shapeshifter. I’ve only ever known freedom among my own in a preserved setting. I simply couldn’t handle the change.

“That’s our train.”

I lift my head at Mathew’s voice. I hadn’t even really realized we were on the platform. Since we left his former building, I’ve just been following him obediently, without paying attention to my surroundings. I must be seriously out of it not to have noticed the passersby bumping into me as they hurry to their cars.

“Go ahead.”

Mathew seems annoyed but does as I ask. I suppose he noticed my lack of focus. Once we’re seated, I stare out the window, searching for a subject that might make him forget my strange behavior. Unfortunately, my mind is still fixed on the past. My brain is forcing itself to dig up memories that aren’t there, to my great regret. I don’t have a single image of what the concierge talked about. The building didn’t awaken any memory in me, nor did Mathew’s apartment, which the new tenant agreed to let me visit after we explained why. No—everything is empty.

“Billy, I can tell something happened. I need to know what.”

“You’re not any more talkative than I am. Why does Aaron need you?”

Mathew is our official healer. He holds an important position within the pack, but as far as I know, we only left this morning, and none of the Silvermoon required special medical supervision.

“Something unexpected.”

“What do you mean?”

Mathew looks away, tapping his left foot on the ground. Am I dreaming, or is he avoiding my question?

“This concerns me, doesn’t it? Carter finally found something about me, about what happened in the city?”

As a police officer in Silver City, he’s been trying to get information about my accident ever since it happened eleven months ago, without the slightest success so far.

“Carter found absolutely nothing on you. If he had, he would have warned you.”

“Unless there’s a problem.”

A bigger one than the one I suspect, I mean. Flirting with a married woman may not align with pack customs, but it’s hardly a reason to bring us back early—and certainly not to keep it such a secret.

“Don’t worry unnecessarily, Billy. We’re going back to the Silvermoon, and you’ll be able to talk it over calmly with Aaron.”

I don’t like the look my friend gives me. He’s clearly trying to read me, when I can’t even read myself. If he hopes to understand what happened to me that way, good luck to him. Besides, I’m no longer sure I want to find out. I have a feeling I won’t like what I discover.

“By the way, you’re asking me about the content of my conversation with the alpha, but you haven’t said a word about your discussion with the concierge. And don’t tell me she didn’t know anything. I noticed your face the moment we left the building. You’re closed off, and I’d even go so far as to say gloomy.”

“It was nothing important. Nothing that would interest you, anyway. I have no desire to discuss it.”

Mathew narrows his eyes, and I’m glad it wasn’t Jaxen who came with me. He would feel far too much. He only picks up on sensations, but they’re impressions he can easily decipher as a soul healer. I’d rather handle this alone for now. Still, I won’t hesitate to consult him if I realize I’m going insane because of this story.

Insane… the comparison is laughable. For a moment, I feared lunar madness before realizing I feel nothing of the sort. I’ve passed the critical age, and absolutely nothing happened. Jaxen watches me like a hawk for the day the phenomenon might trigger. In a way, I prefer it. I refuse to attack anyone because I’ve lost my mind. Except I have a clear head. There isn’t the slightest trace of madness lurking in the back of my mind. It seems even lunar madness has its limits—unless my lack of memories has granted me a reprieve. But why? For what purpose? The moon grants no mercy, and to my knowledge, it has never spared a single wolf. I certainly won’t be an exception. There’s no reason for that. I may be a dominant, but from there to taming fate itself? No chance. I’m not strong enough, physically or mentally.

“Billy, you’re brooding again. There’s no point tormenting yourself without knowing what it’s all about.”

I force a smile as the landscape rushes past before our eyes. The train is taking me home. I should feel soothed, but instead, a knot of anxiety keeps growing in the pit of my stomach. I’m anticipating… something. In fact, I don’t know why I feel so tense. The Silvermoon territory has always been a haven of peace for me, my home for as long as I can remember. And yet, since I woke up, I’ve had the unpleasant feeling that something is missing. It’s a sensation that didn’t exist before my stay in the city—proof that a crucial event occurred, one I can’t even remember.

“Billy, do you want children?”

“Excuse me?”

Now there’s a question capable of pulling my troubled mind away from its fixation.

“If you found a partner, would you want to start a family?”

I’ve never thought about it, for the simple reason that I’m single and my wolf seems completely uninterested in the opposite sex—especially since my coma.

“My wolf doesn’t want a partner.”

Hence the heightened surveillance by Aaron, Carter, and Jaxen.

“I tried changing the way I look at the females of the pack, but it didn’t work, and the idea of leaving my own to meet someone who suits me seems absurd.”

“You could very well bond with a human. Aaron and Duke did. Nothing forbids it.”

“I know.”

I’ve even been able to observe the happiness of those two couples. I was a little jealous, for reasons I don’t understand. It’s not a feeling I’d experienced before. In fact, it’s a fairly recent sensation.

“Still, I can’t see myself bonding with a woman who knows nothing about our world. It’s complex to enter our universe and find your place in it. Look—even some of our own struggle to position themselves.”

Mathew can’t contradict me. Lessie searched for herself for a while before feeling useful to the pack.

“All stories are complicated, Billy. Ease rarely brings happiness. You have to know how to fight for what truly matters.”

On that riddle, the train pulls into Silver City station, and I don’t get the chance to question him about that strange remark.

Chapter 6

Rose

The Silvermoon territory—what Aaron calls his lost little village in the middle of the forest—is truly pleasant. Lucas seems to love it here. I’ve never seen him so… awestruck. There’s no other word that comes to mind when I look at his rosy face and chubby cheeks, highlighted by a toothless smile as wide as his tiny mouth will allow. He’s kept his human form, but his nose won’t stop twitching, and his eyes are an amber shade that betrays how close his animal is to the surface.

“What do you think of this place, Rose?”

“It’s very peaceful. I never imagined anything like this. There’s no mention of it on any website. I did some research on Silver City before leaving, and nothing refers to this village.”

Aaron nods, his gaze fixed on his son, who’s playing a little farther ahead of us.

“You understand that our existence has to remain secret. To humans, we’d be an interesting subject of study. To ill-intentioned people looking for thrills, we’d become a species to hunt.”

I completely agree with his analysis. That’s precisely why I hid my son’s nature.

“However, we also need freedom. It’s essential for our inner beast. So this place is a compromise. Within the pack, we can be ourselves with little to no restriction, and in Silver City, we integrate into the rest of the world.”

They made a compromise to live in harmony with both halves of themselves. I look down at Lucas in my arms, babbling as he chews on his fist, and I realize the challenge his upbringing is going to be. I also grasp an obvious truth: I will never be able to go back to my old life. The existence I led until now is gone. I have to draw a line through it. It would be naive to think my stay here will solve all my problems. Even if Lucas eventually learns to control himself better, there will always be moments when I feel overwhelmed, lost in the face of his reactions, moments when I simply won’t know what to do. When I learned I was pregnant, I promised myself I would always put my child first. I never imagined how much keeping that promise would cost me. I realize it now, as I see with my own eyes what my son truly needs to thrive.

“I’ll never be able to go back to living in the city with Lucas, will I? He’ll never have an ordinary life, like the one I had as a child.”

Aaron looks sorry for me even before he speaks.

“Billy should have explained what he was before dragging you into this. I’m truly sorry, Rose. Your life will indeed never be the same. However, I can assure you of one thing: you will never be alone. Your son and you are Silvermoon now.”

That’s moving a little too fast. I came to Silver City because it was the only place where I thought I might find help. But Aaron himself told me other packs exist. What’s best for my son and me is probably to leave for somewhere Billy isn’t. We didn’t part on good terms—my fault, admittedly. Still, with his silence, he turned my life upside down forever, and I’m not sure I can forgive