# The Dark Psychologist’s Notebook. 25 Lessons in Manipulation Training

Alex Tischenko

This workbook isn’t a collection of simple tricks. It’s a practical guide built on proven psychological principles, but exploring them in terms of how to apply them to achieving your goals, whatever they may be. We’ll explore:

• Techniques for establishing control;

• The art of manipulation: How to subtly influence the decisions, beliefs, and behavior of others;

• Working with vulnerabilities: How to identify and exploit a target’s fears, complexes, and desires.

# The Dark Psychologist’s Notebook. 25 Lessons in Manipulation Training. Alex Tischenko

© Alex Tischenko, 2026


ISBN 978-5-0070-2435-8

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

## Alex Tishchenko

The Dark Psychologist’s Notebook

25 Lessons in Manipulation Training

## Introduction

The Shadow That Awakens


If you’re holding this notebook in your hands, it means your gaze no longer skims the surface of life. You’re not satisfied with simple answers, and you’re not drawn to banal truths. You sense that beneath the glossy façade of everyday life lies something deeper, more powerful, and perhaps even more dangerous.


This book is your guide to a world rarely explored, but where answers to the most fundamental questions of human existence lie. We will discuss the forces that drive people, often unconsciously. We will explore not only the bright aspirations but also the dark depths, for it is therein lies the key to understanding the true nature of man and, therefore, to true mastery of influence.


Why «dark psychologist»?


The word «dark» carries a dual meaning. On the one hand, it points to areas of the human psyche that are typically avoided: fears, complexes, forbidden desires, aggression, vulnerability. These are the shadows we carry within ourselves, often without acknowledging their existence. On the other hand, «dark» signifies mastery that manifests not in the bright light of revealed truths, but in the depths, in the shadows, where a power operates hidden from prying eyes.


A dark psychologist isn’t a fairy tale villain. He’s a master who understands the full spectrum of human motives, from the lofty to the basest. He knows that love and hate, attachment and dependence, altruism and selfishness are merely different facets of the same complex mechanism. And he knows how to manipulate this mechanism.


It’s important to understand: knowledge is power. And this power can be used for both good and evil. This notebook provides you with tools. How you use them is entirely up to you. We don’t encourage abuse, but we also don’t limit you to the boundaries of conventional morality. We offer you a path to deep understanding and mastery.


Use this knowledge wisely. Be mindful. And remember: the darkest night is just before the dawn. And the greatest power lies in the shadows.


Prepare to awaken your Shadow. Prepare to become a master.


— —

Welcome to Dark Psychology.


Lesson 1. Practice of the «Triangular View»


Introduction:

Gaze is more than just a way to obtain visual information. In the hands of a dark psychologist, it’s a tool for nonverbal domination, suppression of will, or, conversely, the creation of an unnaturally deep rapport (connection). Most people look chaotically. You, however, will look structured.


The «triangular gaze» is a technique for directing someone’s attention by focusing on three points on their face. Depending on which «triangle» you draw, the subject’s biochemistry changes.


— —


The Arithmetic of Impact: Three Types of Triangles


To master the technique, you must clearly distinguish between three attack vectors:


1. Business (Power) Triangle

• Points: Left eye — Right eye — Center of the forehead (the «third eye» area).

• Effect: Creates a feeling of pressure, authority, and cold analysis. The interlocutor subconsciously feels as if he or she is being interrogated or before a stern judge.

• When to use: In negotiations, when it is necessary to put a person in their place, when protecting against manipulation.


2. Social (Trust) Triangle

• Points: Left eye — Right eye — Mouth.

• Effect: Creates an atmosphere of friendliness and engagement. It is a «safe zone» that relaxes the subject and makes him talk more than he planned.

• When to use: At the stage of information gathering (recruitment), when creating a false sense of security.


3. Intimate (Seductive/Destabilizing) Triangle

• Points: Eye — Eye — Neck (jugular notch area) or below.

• Effect: Abruptly violates personal boundaries. In the target, it causes either sexual arousal or intense anxiety and a desire to «close off.» In dark psychology, it is used to unsettle a person.

• When to use: To create emotional swings, provoke embarrassment or aggression.


— —


Practical Exercise #1: «Geometry on a Mirror»


Before going «into the field,» you should perfect your eye movement mechanics. Your eyes shouldn’t dart around — they should flow smoothly from point to point.


Exercise:

1. Stand in front of a mirror. Choose one of the triangles (start with the Powerful one).

2. Fix your gaze on the left eye of your reflection (3 seconds).

3. Smoothly move your gaze to the right eye (3 seconds).

4. Also smoothly raise your gaze to the center of your forehead (3 seconds).

5. Repeat the cycle for 5 minutes.


Important: Don’t blink while transitioning between dots. Your goal is to create a «continuous scanning» effect.


— —


Practical Exercise #2: «Suppression of the Will» (Field Practice)


Find an object for training (this could be an annoying salesperson, a colleague, or a random interlocutor).


Algorithm of actions:

1. While the subject is speaking, begin using the Business Triangle (Eye — Eye — Forehead).

2. Relax your focus slightly so that your gaze appears «glassy,» but directed precisely at these points.

3. Dark nuance: When the subject asks you a question, don’t answer right away. Pause for 3 seconds, continuing to slowly draw the «Eye-Eye-Forehead» triangle.

4. Watch the reaction: the subject will start to stutter, make excuses, or look away.


— —


Advanced Dark Psychologist Techniques


• «Break the Pattern»: Start the conversation with the Social Triangle (Eye-Eye-Mouth) to put the person at ease. The moment they start lying or evading, abruptly switch to the Power Triangle (Eye-Eye-Forehead) and constrict your pupils. This will cause an instant micro-panic.

• «Predator’s Gaze»: When using the Business Triangle, lower your chin slightly. This will make you look «under your brows,» which is biologically interpreted as a direct threat.


— —


Assignment for independent work:


1. Over the next week, conduct at least 10 dialogues consciously using the «Business Triangle».

2. Record in your notebook how many seconds it took for your interlocutor to start showing signs of discomfort (touching their neck, adjusting their clothes, looking away).

3. Try the «Switch» technique: start with a friendly triangle and end with a harsh, authoritative one. Describe the change in the other person’s tone of voice.


Caution: The Triangular Gaze is a psychological intrusion. Remember that overuse of the Power Triangle can provoke open aggression. Use it sparingly to subdue, rather than prematurely destroy, the instrument.


— —

End of Lesson 1.


Lesson 2. Devaluation Technology: Destruction of Supports


Introduction:

If the «Triangular View» is about seizing territory, then devaluation is about burning up the enemy’s resources. The dark psychologist’s goal in this lesson is to learn how to turn others’ triumphs into dust, and their self-confidence into paralyzing doubt.


Devaluation is a psychological injection that deprives an object of its subjective significance. When a person feels that their achievements, feelings, or personality are worthless, they become malleable, dependent on your evaluation, and easily manipulated.


— —


Mechanics of action: Three stages of destruction


Devaluation shouldn’t be harsh. Harshness evokes defensiveness. Dark devaluation evokes self-flagellation.


1. «Poison in Sugar» (Hidden Devaluation)

It’s criticism disguised as concern or «honesty.»

• Example: «You’re great that you got this promotion. It’s just a shame that now you won’t have any time for a normal life, but that’s what you wanted.»

• Effect: The object cannot be angry with you (after all, you praised him!), but the joy of success is poisoned by doubt.


2. Indifference (Ignoring value)

The most powerful blow is the absence of a reaction where the object expects delight.

• Example: The subject enthusiastically talks about an accomplishment. You listen with a half-empty look, and then ask, «By the way, did you remember to buy some bread?»

• Effect: The person feels that his success is insignificant in the scale of your reality.


3. «Changing Standards» (Barbell Transfer)

As soon as the object reaches the goal, you instantly make that goal irrelevant.

• Example: «Well, writing an article is something that anyone can do these days. Now, if it were published in an international publication, then yes…»

• Effect: The subject finds himself in an endless race for your approval, which he will never receive.


— —


Workshop: The Dark Psychologist’s Toolkit


«Yes, but…» technique

This is a classic confidence-shattering tool.

• Instructions: Agree with the fact of success, but immediately add a «but» that negates this success.

• Example: «Yes, the car is beautiful. But they say this model has constant problems with the electronics after a year, good luck with the repairs.»


The «Random Success» Technique

Attributing an object’s achievements to external circumstances rather than to his talent.

• Instructions: Use the words: lucky, a fortunate coincidence, was there at the right time, connections helped.

• Example: «Great project! You’re very lucky that management is in such a good mood right now and approves everything.»


— —


Practical Exercise #1: «Finding a Pain Point»


Before devaluing, you need to understand what is truly valuable for an object.

1. Observe a colleague or acquaintance throughout the day.

2. Identify the topic he talks about with the greatest pride (appearance, work, hobbies, children). This is his reference point.

3. Write down three hidden devaluation phrases for this point in your notebook. The phrases should begin with: «The main thing is that you like…", «It’s pretty bold these days…", «It’s good that you don’t worry about…».


— —


Practical Exercise #2: Cold Shower (Field Test)


Objective: To test the subject’s reaction to the sudden loss of significance of his words.

1. Wait until the person starts telling you something that he considers important.

2. Listen to him for 30 seconds, looking into his eyes (Social Triangle).

3. Then quickly glance at his shoes or watch. Take out your phone and quickly glance at the notification.

4. When he falls silent, wait for a pause and say, «Sorry, I got distracted. So, what were you saying about your plans? Oh, never mind, that can wait. I have something urgent to do.»

5. Leave without waiting for an answer.


— —


Dark Undertone: Emotional Swings


For devaluation to work 100%, it must be alternated with idealization.

• First, put the subject on a pedestal («You are the best specialist I have seen!»).

• A day later, strike with devaluation («Today you are working at the intern level, what happened?»).

• Result: The object will bend over backwards to regain that initial state of your admiration. You have gained absolute power over his self-esteem.


— —


Assignment for independent work:


1. Use the «Yes, but…» technique three times a day. Record how the other person’s facial expression changes when you introduce the «but.»

2. Discredit someone’s compliment. (Example: «Oh, that dress is 100 years old, I wore it because everything else is in the wash.») Watch how the manipulator becomes a victim when their «gift» (a compliment) is rejected.

3. Analyze: whose devaluation in your life hurts you the most? What phrases do they use? Copy these phrases into a notebook and mentally «give» them back to the author.


Warning: Don’t use devaluation on those you truly care about unless you want to completely destroy the relationship. This technique is designed to eliminate competitors and suppress enemies.


— —

End of Lesson 2.


Lesson 3. Honey Trap Technology: Sweet Poison of Influence


Introduction:

If devaluation is a method of destruction, then the «honey trap» is the art of seduction for the purpose of subsequent control. The dark psychologist uses subtle psychology rather than brute force here. We create an ideal image that the target strives to achieve, and once they do, we dictate the rules.


The «honey trap» isn’t just about romantic relationships. It’s applicable to business, politics, and personal manipulation. The goal is to get the target to voluntarily surrender control, seeking your favor, approval, or the «privilege» of being close to you.


— —


The Architecture of Seduction: The Three Pillars of the Honey Trap


1. Creating the Ideal (Polishing the facade)

Your task is to become what the target considers ideal. This requires a thorough analysis of the target.

• Analysis: What complexes does he have? What does he lack? What values does he declare (or hide)?

• Reflection: You should become the embodiment of his hidden desires. If he values intellect, be erudite. If he values strength, demonstrate confidence. If he values care, show «sincere» attention.

• Dark side note: Don’t be perfect. Perfection is scary. Add a touch of charming vulnerability to make the target feel needed and able to «save» or «understand» you.


2. «Trial Pleasure» (Blaze)

The subject needs to get a taste of what you can give him.

• Example: If you position yourself as a source of wisdom, give him one valuable piece of advice that doesn’t reveal too much about you. If you position yourself as a source of admiration, unobtrusively praise him in the presence of others. If you position yourself as a source of concern, «accidentally» solve a minor problem of his.

• Effect: The object begins to associate you with positive emotions and benefits. He wants to get more.


3. «Tightening the Noose» (Establishing Control)

Once the object is hooked, begin to gradually change the conditions.

• Ask for small favors: Start with small requests that feel natural within the framework of the persona you’ve created. «Could you do me this favor?» «I feel so bad asking, but…»

• Access Control: You may suddenly become unapproachable, cold, busy. This will make the target even more eager to please you by fulfilling your new, more complex requests.

• Effect: The object itself seeks your «favor,» carrying out your orders in order to maintain the created illusion of closeness and your value.


— —


Practical Exercise #1: «Wish Map»


1. Select an object to observe (your next «patient»).

2. Create a psychological portrait of him:

• Basic fears: (For example, loneliness, incompetence, lack of recognition).

• Hidden desires: (For example, to be loved, to be important, to be successful).

• Values: (What he says he values).

3. Describe the ideal you could become for him by satisfying these fears and desires. What character traits, behavioral traits, and knowledge would you need to «embody»?


— —


Practical Exercise #2: «Sweet Injection» (Field Practice)


Objective: To test how the «trial pleasure» works.


1. Choose an object that needs recognition or a little help.

2. Start with «casual» praise: Say something that’s clearly related to their accomplishment, but in a neutral tone. Example: «Yes, you turned in that report. Good job.»

3. Add «genuine» attention: Then, casually, ask a question that shows you’ve noticed something in them that others don’t (a slight hesitation, a hidden talent). Example: «I noticed the way you gestured when you explained that idea. You have the makings of a good speaker if you’re willing to develop it.»

4. Note the reaction: The object will most likely begin to show increased interest in you, trying to understand what else you see in him.


— —


Advanced Honey Trap Techniques


• The Scarcity Principle: Don’t always be available. Your «gifts» (attention, help, approval) should become something valuable that needs to be earned.

• «The Flawed Mirror Technique»: You are almost perfect, but you have one «cute» weakness that makes you human and vulnerable. This allows the target to feel like your «savior» or «the only one who understands you.»

• «Linking to your value system»: Gradually weave the object into your life, making it part of your goals, plans, «important» conversations. He will begin to consider himself «one of us,» and his loyalty will be yours.


— —


Assignment for independent work:


1. Throughout the day, consciously «mirror» one person you interact with. Try to anticipate their desires and satisfy them with a small, insignificant «favor» or «approval» that doesn’t require much effort on your part.

2. Write down in your notebook: How did the target react to your «service»? Did they become more accommodating?

3. Try introducing a «scarcity» element into one of the requests: «I can help you with this, but only tomorrow evening, and I’ll have to put off something important…» Assess how willingly the subject agreed to your conditions.


Warning: The «honey trap» is a powerful tool for creating addiction. Use it consciously, remembering that once caught, the object may never escape. First and foremost, learn to recognize it when it’s set for you.


— —

End of Lesson 3.


Lesson 4: Ambivalent Messages: Creating Mental Paralysis


Introduction:

If devaluation destroys supports and a «honey trap» lures into dependence, then ambivalent messages (or «double clamps» — Double Bind) are designed to drive the object literally crazy.


The dark psychologist’s goal in this lesson is to learn to transmit two mutually exclusive signals simultaneously. This creates a situation in which the target cannot make the right decision, because any action will be «insufficient» or «wrong.» The result is profound anxiety, disorientation, and complete submission to the manipulator as the «sole source of truth.»


— —


The Anatomy of Chaos: How Ambivalence Is Built


An ambivalent message consists of two levels that contradict each other. The target receives both the «A» signal and the «not-A» signal simultaneously.


1. Verbal-nonverbal conflict (Classic)

You speak words of encouragement, but your body conveys disgust or coldness.

• Example: You say, «I’m so happy for you, you’re doing great,» but at the same time you wince, look away, and cross your arms over your chest.

• Effect: The subject believes the non-verbal communication, but cannot dispute it, since formally you said something good. He feels the «wrongness» of the situation, but cannot prove it.


2. Paradoxical prescription

You are giving a command that cannot be executed by the logic of the command itself.

• Example: «Be more spontaneous!» or «You should take initiative without my prompting!»

• Effect: If the object shows initiative at your command, it is no longer initiative, but submission to the command. He loses in any case.


3. Emotional swings in one sentence

Combining the recognition of love and the threat of rejection.

• Example: «I love you so much when you act normal, not like you usually do.»

• Effect: The object understands that your love is a fragile prize that can be taken away at any second. It freezes in anticipation of your assessment.


— —


Workshop: «Mental Clamp» Technique


Cold Approval Technique

Used to undermine confidence during moments of success of the object.

• Instructions: When the target shares their joy, say, «Mmm, congratulations.» Keep a completely poker face and slowly walk away as if the person smells bad.

• The bottom line: Your words are «yes,» your body is «yuck.»


The «Ban on Questions» Technique

Creating a situation where the object cannot clarify the rules of the game.

• Instructions: Give an ambiguous task. When the subject comes for clarification, look at him with mild disdain and say, «I thought you were professional enough not to ask such questions. Do as you please.»

• The point: You are punishing him for trying to clarify his ambivalence.


— —


Practical Exercise #1: «Mirror Dissonance»


This is an exercise to develop control over your own micro-expressions.

1. Stand in front of a mirror.

2. Say the phrases out loud: «I love you», «I’m very interested», «I trust you».

3. Task: When he says «I love you,» express anger with your eyes. When he says «I’m very interested,» yawn or look at your watch. When he says «I trust you,» pull back slightly and purse your lips.

4. Make sure the dissonance looks natural, not forced.


— —


Practical Exercise #2: «The Choice Trap» (Field Test)


Goal: To confuse the subject through conflicting signals.

1. Choose an object (preferably someone who is eager to please you).

2. Let him know that you expect attention/care from him.

3. When he starts to show this attention (for example, by offering coffee or starting a conversation), suddenly become cold and say: «Why are you pushing me? I need space.»

4. After 10 minutes, when he pulls away, look at him with resentment and sigh: «I knew it was impossible to count on you in difficult times.»

5. Observation: The target will hesitate between trying to approach and trying to retreat. This is when they are most vulnerable.


— —


Dark Subtlety: Gaslighting Through Ambivalence


If you use this method constantly, the target stops trusting their senses. They see your anger, but hear you say, «I’m not angry, you’re imagining it.» Over time, they begin to believe your words more than their own eyes. This is the foundation for gaslighting — complete control over someone else’s perception of reality.


— —


Assignment for independent work:


1. During the day, use verbal-nonverbal dissonance in at least five short dialogues (for example, at the store or with colleagues). Notice how people begin to stutter or ask to repeat themselves.

2. Write in your notebook: What non-verbal reaction is most difficult for you to imitate when saying positive words?

3. Analyze: Who in your past has used «double binds» against you? What physical sensation did it cause in your body? (Usually a tightness in your throat or a heaviness in your solar plexus.)


Warning: Prolonged exposure to ambivalent messages destroys the target’s psyche and can lead to severe depression or psychosis. Use this technique only on those you intend to completely subjugate, and be prepared for the target’s «personality» to begin to fade.


— —

End of Lesson 4.

Lesson 5: Gaslighting: Erasing Reality


Introduction:

While ambivalent messages create temporary paralysis, gaslighting systematically destroys the foundations of one’s personality. It’s the ultimate form of psychological domination, forcing the recipient to doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity.


The dark psychologist’s goal in this lesson is to learn to replace the object’s reality with his own interpretation of events until the object renounces his «I» and accepts your words as the only truth.


— —


The Three Pillars of Gaslighting


Gaslighting doesn’t work as a one-time attack. It’s a slow poison that’s administered in three ways:


1. Total denial of facts

You confidently deny events that actually happened.

• Phrases: «I didn’t say that», «That never happened», «You dreamed it», «You’re making it all up again».

• Effect: The target’s brain begins to look for errors in itself, and not in your words, since you seem absolutely confident.


2. Distortion of context (Substitution of meanings)

You acknowledge a fact, but completely change its emotional or logical coloring.

• Phrases: «I was just joking, and you’re too sensitive,» «I did it for your own good, and you made me look like a monster,» «You’re just having a rough day, so you’re taking things the wrong way.»

• Effect: The subject begins to feel guilty for his «wrong» reaction to your actions.


3. Pathologization (Reference to insanity)

You suggest to the object that its perception is disturbed due to its «instability.»

• Phrases: «Something’s wrong with you lately,» «Your friends also notice that you’re acting strange,» «You need treatment/rest, you’re losing touch with reality.»

• Effect: The subject is isolated from his critical thinking, believing that he is ill.


— —


Workshop: The Dark Psychologist’s Toolkit


The Missing Item Technique

Used to create initial doubt in memory.

• Instructions: Take something that the subject often puts in the same place (keys, phone, notebook), and move it to another, less obvious place. When the subject starts looking for the thing, help them look where it is not. When they find it (or you «help»), say with a little sympathy: «You put it there yourself, I saw it. You’re completely worn out.»


False Memory Technique

Inserting into memory events that did not happen.

• Instructions: Confidently remind the target of some detail from a conversation that supposedly took place a week ago. «Remember, you yourself promised me that you would do this? We discussed it at length back then.» When the target begins to deny it, look at him with slight disappointment: «Again, you’re forgetting important things… It’s scary.»


— —


Practical Exercise #1: «Micro-Negation»


An exercise to develop a «stone face» when lying.

1. Choose a small fact that just happened (for example, you closed a window or turned off the light).

2. When the subject asks about it («Why did you close the window?»), answer with absolute calm: «I didn’t close it. It closed itself / it was closed.»

3. If the subject persists, don’t argue aggressively. Simply look at them with mild bewilderment, as if they’re saying something patently absurd. Maintain this look for 5 seconds, then change the subject.


— —


Practical Exercise #2: «Erosion of Authority» (Field Test)


Goal: To make the subject doubt his feelings.

1. Do something that will clearly upset or anger the target.

2. As soon as he shows emotion, immediately switch to the role of a «rational observer».

3. Say: «Your reaction is completely inappropriate to the situation. You are acting hysterical. Are you sure you are okay with your nerves?»

4. Continue to insist that the problem is not your action, but his reaction to it.


— —


Dark Subtlety: Isolation Through «Care»


The most effective gaslighting occurs when you convince the target that only you understand their «condition» and that only you can help them. «Other people laugh at you behind your back, but I will always be by your side, no matter how weird you are.» This cuts off the target’s social connections, depriving them of the opportunity to receive confirmation of their reality from others.


— —


Assignment for independent work:


1. Use the «Missing Object» technique once. Notice the moment when the subject’s face shows a look of confusion. Don’t expose yourself.

2. For a week, use the phrase «You imagined it» or «I didn’t say that» in response to any minor comments. Observe how many days it takes for the target to ask again and clarify your words several times.

3. Analyze your life: were there situations when you began to doubt your memory after communicating with someone? What triggers did they use? Write them down so you can use them yourself.


Warning: Gaslighting is a destructive technique that leads to complete mental breakdown. The target may fall into deep depression or lose the ability to function socially. Use this only if your goal is to turn the person into a submissive shadow with no self.


— —

End of Lesson 5.


Lesson 6. «The Oxytocin Loop»: Hormonal Dependence


Introduction:

If gaslighting destroys reality, then the «oxytocin loop» is a weave of invisible threads of addiction that penetrate the deepest, most primal centers of the brain. We will use natural hormones — primarily oxytocin (the hormone of attachment, trust, and love) and dopamine (the hormone of anticipation and pleasure) — to create an irresistible desire in the target to be close to you, to seek your approval, and to do your bidding.


The goal of the dark psychologist is not just to manipulate, but to create a chemical dependence in the target on your presence, your words, your approval.


— —


The Biochemistry of Submission: How the Loop Works


The «oxytocin loop» is built on alternating moments of strong attachment and slight «detachment» (not complete, but such that the object feels that he can lose you).


1. «Dopamine Hook» (Initial Arousal)

Any new, vibrant, and pleasurable experience triggers a release of dopamine. You are the source of this new, pleasurable experience.

• How to create: Be mysterious, witty, generous with compliments (but not devaluing!), create unexpected but pleasant events. Your goal is to make the object anticipate something good, something from you.

• Effect: The target begins to look forward to your messages, calls, and meetings. He constantly thinks about you, anticipating a new «dose» of positivity.


2. «Oxytocin Anchor» (Creating Attachment)

When the object is in a state of dopamine arousal, you «anchor» it on yourself through touch, sincere (at first glance) words of support, and displays of care.

• How to create:

• Physical contact: Casual but «innocent» touch (on the arm, shoulder). In moments of strong emotion, the object is given a light touch, as if «comforting».

• Verbal «depth»: Talking about «important» things, showing your «vulnerability» (but not weakness), showing a genuine (seeming) interest in his life.

• Effect: The object begins to feel trust and affection for you. He feels «understood» and «special.»


3. «Slight withdrawal» (Keeping in tension)

The perfect balance is when the subject feels close, but at the same time slightly unsure of your constant presence.

• How to create: Don’t answer calls/messages right away. Sometimes show slight busyness or «some» distance (but not coldness, this was in the previous lessons). Don’t reveal all your cards at once.

• Effect: The target experiences mild anxiety, fear of losing you. This increases his desire to «earn» your attention and affection. He becomes more accommodating.


— —


Workshop: Oxytocin Influence Toolkit


The «Sudden Gift» Technique

Creates a dopamine rush and a strong positive association.

• Instructions: Give him something that doesn’t have much material value, but that perfectly matches his hidden desires or recent words. It could be a book, a trinket related to his hobby, or even just an interesting fact you «found» that reminds you of him.

• Key: The gift should be unexpected and «perfectly» chosen.


«Echo-emotion» technique

When the subject shares their feelings with you, you should not just listen, but «mirror» them, enhancing the feeling of understanding.

• Instructions: The subject says, «I’m so tired of this job.» You respond, «I can see how hard it is for you. It’s really exhausting when you put in so much effort and there’s no return. I understand you better than anyone.»

• Effect: The subject feels a deep connection and understanding. This is a powerful oxytocin signal.


— —


Practical Exercise #1: «Creating a Dopamine Trigger»


1. Select an object.

2. Send him one message during the day that will build his anticipation. This could be:

• Mysterious promise: «I have something that will really surprise you.»

• Unexpected compliment: «I just remembered how brilliantly you handled [task N]. It was truly impressive.»

• Intriguing request: «I need your help with something very delicate. You’re the only one who can understand.»

3. Record his reaction. How quickly did he respond? With what enthusiasm?


— —


Practical Exercise #2: «Touching the Anchor» (Field Practice)


Purpose: To create a physical anchor of trust.

1. Choose a moment when the subject experiences a strong emotion (positive or negative, but not excessively so).

2. Get close, looking into the eyes (use the social triangle).

3. Lightly, as if by accident, touch his arm or shoulder. Hold contact for 2—3 seconds.

4. Say a phrase that enhances his feelings (support, understanding, admiration).

5. Observation: After such contact, the subject often becomes more open and vulnerable.


— —


Dark nuance: «Standby mode»


When someone feels a strong attachment, you can put them into «waiting mode.» You intentionally create a small distance, allowing them to feel like they could lose what they have. Then, when they do something for you, you return, «rewarding» them with your attention. This makes them constantly try to «win you back.»


— —


Assignment for independent work:


1. Consciously use «Echo-Emotion» at least twice a day. Record how your conversation partner’s behavior changes after you «mirror» their feelings.

2. Try the «Surprise Gift» technique with someone in your life. See how much their attitude toward you changes after receiving the «perfect» gift.

3. Analyze: who in your life created an «oxytocin loop» for you? What specific actions and words made you feel attached to them?


A word of caution: The «oxytocin loop» is a powerful tool for building dependency. By creating it, you can achieve incredible loyalty. However, if you lose control, the object can become uncontrollably obsessed. Use this wisely to make them dependent on you, not you on them.


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End of Lesson 6.


Lesson 7. Hacking the Psychological Reflex: Anchoring in NLP