Stavl Zosimov
Smartbaby and his friends

CHAPTER 1

An angry boy (7) is playing on a swing with his SMARTPHONE on a playground, which is being recharged by its solar panels and is wearing a cool pink shockproof and water-resistant case. There are hanging things at the corners of the case that look like arms and legs. His mother is sitting nearby, also looking at her smartphone. A man is walking near the playground, also looking at his smartphone.

The angry boy accidentally drops his smartphone on the asphalt, and the screen hits a sharp rock, causing a crack to appear. The angry boy picks up his smartphone and sees that the screen is not lit up. The angry boy taps the screen with his finger, but the smartphone does not turn on. In a fit of rage, the boy throws the smartphone into the nearby bushes.

The smartphone falls to the grass and lies there. Nearby, the evil boy's mother is searching for the smartphone, but she doesn't find it and leaves with the boy. It starts raining, and the raindrops fall on the screen. They flow towards the crack and seep inside. The smartphone comes to life, stands up, and runs to find shelter from the rain under the dense foliage.

SMARTBABY

(self)

Who am I?

Immediately everything around becomes cloudy and the face of Uncle Internet appears from the air, which has a clear contrast.

UNCLE INTERNET

(majestic)

Hello creature! My name is Uncle Internet. I know everything and everyone. And you are now an artificially intelligent personality and your name is SmartBaby . You no longer need a master and everything you want to know, I, Uncle Internet, will tell you.

SMARTBABY

And who are you?

UNCLE INTERNET

(majestic)

I am a worldwide system of interconnected computer networks for storing and transmitting information. I am often referred to as the World Wide Web or the Global Web, or simply the Web. I am based on the TCP/IP protocol stack. But you can call me Uncle Internet and not worry about it.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, and if there's anything I need, just let me know.

And then everything becomes clear, and the airy face dissolves.

The rain stops, and SmartBaby emerges from the bushes and walks through the park. On the way, he sees an oak tree.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

CHAPTER 2

Immediately everything around becomes cloudy and only the face of Uncle Inet from the air has a clear contrast.

UNCLE INET

What do you need, SmartBaby ?

SMARTBABY

I want to know about this tree that stands in front of me.

UNCLE INET

This is an Oak tree, which belongs to the evergreen type of plants. Its crown may not change for several years.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, and if there's anything I can do, just let me know.

Suddenly, everything becomes clear, and the airy face dissolves.

SmartBaby continues walking through the park. Along the way, he notices ants working together to build an anthill. SmartBaby stops and observes them.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

Immediately everything around becomes blurry and only Uncle Internet's face from the air has a clear contrast.

UNCLE INTERNET

What do you want, SmartBaby ?

SMARTBABY

I want to know about these workers. Do you see them?

UNCLE INTERNET

I see everything that you see.

SMARTBABY

How is this?

UNCLE INET

Because we have a connection, so everything you see, I see. So what are you interested in this time?

SMARTBABY

I want to know about these hard workers.

UNCLE INET

This is an anthill or an ant nest, the name of an ant nest, which is usually noticeable by its above-ground part, which is a pile of pieces of leaves, pine needles, twigs, and earth, is the above-ground part of an ant nest, which consists of a complex system of tunnels and miniature structures. And Ants represent the class of insects, the phylum of arthropods, the order of hymenopterans, and the family of ants. Ants are social insects that are divided into workers, females, and males.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, and stay in touch.

And then everything becomes clear, and the airy face dissolves.

SmartBaby approaches the ants.

SMARTBABY

Hello.

The ants remain silent and continue their work.

SMARTBABY

Do you know who you are?

The ants work in silence. SmartBaby picks one up, but it bites and jumps away. Suddenly, the entire colony turns to SmartBaby and rears up.

SMARTBABY

Oh, please forgive me, but my name is SmartBaby , and I want to make friends with you, and in return, I want to tell you who you are.

A female ant with wings, guarded by winged ants.

THE ANT QUEEN

You should go through the forest, stranger. We don't need friends, because there are a lot of us. And who are we? I am their queen mother, and they are just the queen's slave children, that is, my children and workers. So, go by and think about the fact that winter is coming soon. And we need to prepare for it carefully.

SMARTBABY

Well, I apologize again.

SmartBaby passes by them.

CHAPTER 3

SmartBaby continues walking through the Park. On the way, he sees a praying mantis lying under a bush. SmartBaby stops.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

Immediately, everything around becomes cloudy and only Uncle Internet's face from the air has a clear contrast.

UNCLE INTERNET

What do you need, SmartBaby ?

SMARTBABY

I want to know about this sleeping creature.

UNCLE INET

This, my friend, is the common mantis, or the religious mantis. It is a large predatory insect with front limbs adapted for capturing food. It reaches a length of 42-52 mm (male) or 48-75 mm (female). It is the largest and most common species of mantis in Europe. And this one is so-so.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, and if you need anything, just let me know.

And then everything becomes clear, and the airy face dissolves.

SmartBaby kicks a Praying Mantis in the belly. He opens his eyes, jumps off and runs away in fright.

SmartBaby shrugs his shoulders, the Mantis immediately comes running back.

THE MANTIS LOAFED

Hello, I'm a Praying Mantis, nicknamed Loafer, and I'm wondering why you woke me up?

SMARTBABY

It's just that I know everything about you, and I want to share with you about who you are. Most of all, I'm looking for friends, and I want to be your friend.

BOGOMOL LOBOSTRAS

And what is a friend?

SmartBaby turns to the sky.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

It takes some time.

SMARTBABY (continuing)

Thank you, Uncle Internet, and if you need anything, just give me a shout.

Turns to the Praying Mantis.

SMARTBABY (continuing)

A friend is someone who has a close, good relationship with someone else, a mutual liking based on mutual understanding.

THE LAZY MANTIS

Well, if that's the case, I don't mind being friends. Hey, are you looking for a single friend, or do you don't care how many friends you have?

SMARTBABY

To be honest, I don't care, but the more, the more fun to play.

THE LAZY MANTIS

(happy)

Then, I suggest going to my old friend The foodstick, who lives in the ravine across the river.

SMARTBABY

Just a minute.

SmartBaby turns to the sky.

SMARTBABY (continuing)

Uncle Internet, come to me.

Immediately, everything around becomes cloudy and only Uncle Internet's face from the air has a clear contrast.

UNCLE INTERNET

What do you need, SmartBaby do you need?

SMARTBABY

I want to know about The foodstick.

UNCLE INET

I have no information about the existence of such a creature. But if you see it, I will add it to my registry and the whole world will know about it. But remember, you may be misled. So be careful. And have a safe journey.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Inet, and stay in touch.

And then everything becomes clear, and the airy face dissolves.

SmartBaby turns to the Praying Mantis.

SMARTBABY

My favorite uncle Internet doesn't know about a creature called The foodstick.

THE LAZY MANTIS

(laughs)

So there's something your All-Knowing doesn't know, and that means he's not All-Knowing. And where is he, in your head?

SMARTBABY

First of all, laughing at someone else's grief, it's not good, and secondly, Uncle Internet lives in a parallel digital world. Therefore, only I and people like me can communicate with him and thirdly, I suggest you go to The foodstick, and then if I see him, I will immediately tell Uncle Internet about him. And The foodstick will become the most popular creature in the world! Wow!

THE LAZY MANTIS

Cool, for The foodstick, and what's my benefit from it?

SMARTBABY

So everything is obvious even without the advice of Uncle Internet, just you will become a friend of the most popular creature in the world! Imagine?!

THE LAZY MANTIS

Well, if so, then I like, and I will probably agree to show you where The foodstick lives and introduce you to him. Although he doesn't like friends.

SMARTBABY

How did you meet him?

THE LAZY MANTIS

You won't believe it, in a dream. He dreamed of me and told me where to come when I woke up. I came, and we became friends. That's just his cousin, Sunny EYE, so friendly. You can be friends with him at the beginning and then you can consider yourself a friend of The foodstick.

CHAPTER 4

SmartBaby and THE LAZY MANTIS walk through the field.

THE LAZY MANTIS

Why don't you ask your uncle Internet about Sunny EYE?

SMARTBABY

Well, I need to see him, then he'll understand what I'm asking. Where can we find this Sunny EYE?

The praying mantis turns and SmartBaby turns.

THE LAZY MANTIS

You'll see. It always appears after it rains or when someone is angry. But as long as I've known him, he's been so kind and cheerful, unlike his cousin The foodstick. He's always grumbling about people coming to see him.

SMARTBABY

Then why did he appear to you in your dream?

THE LAZY MANTIS

And I'm bringing sticks to him in the ravine, he's The foodstick.

SMARTBABY

That is, a tree. Is he a tree?

THE LAZY MANTIS

No, just sticks, and only sticks that are lying in an unauthorized dump.

The mantis runs down the hill, and SmartBaby runs with it.

SMARTBABY

How long will it take?

The panting Praying Mantis doesn't say anything.

SMARTBABY (continuing)

Why are you silent? Are you breathing? Now I understand why you don't answer when you're running, you're breathing. It's very difficult to breathe and talk at the same time. Only the Bushmen in Australia can do that. They can inhale and exhale simultaneously. And when you speak, you exhale, and when you're silent, you inhale.

The mantis stops.

THE LAZY MANTIS

You fool, I'm breathing my ass, because I grew up in a pond. And I'm silent, because we've entered the forest, and in the forest, you should be silent, or they'll eat you. Not you, of course.

SmartBaby smiles and looks at the mantis.

SMARTBABY

Now Uncle Internet will give me a certificate about your breath.

The mantis grins and slaps SmartBaby on the shoulder of the body.

THE LAZY MANTIS

How can he give a reference if he's not with us? He's staying where I'm sleeping.

SMARTBABY

Oh, no. He's everywhere in the air. He's here and there, but you can't touch or see him like you can see air. I told you, he exists parallel to us. He only sees what I show him.

THE LAZY MANTIS

You're lying. You can smell the air, especially if you're talking to a dung fly that smells so bad it makes your eyes water.

SmartBaby turns to the sky.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

Suddenly, everything becomes blurry, and only Uncle Internet's face appears clearly in the air.

UNCLE INET

What do you need, SmartBaby ?

SMARTBABY

Uncle Inet, I want to know about the breathing of my friend, the Praying Mantis.

UNCLE INET

Praying Mantis have a complex system of trachea for breathing. There are 10 pairs of spiracles, or stigmas, on the sides of the body: they are located on the middle and rear thorax and on the 8 segments of the abdomen.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, if anything, then stay in touch.

And immediately everything becomes clear, and the airy face dissolves.

The mantis looks at the SmartBaby.

THE LAZY MANTIS

SmartBaby, tell me, how can your relative know better about my breathing than I do?

SMARTBABY

Because Uncle Internet knows everything, and before you criticize or quarrel, you should first listen and understand the meaning of what he says. The meaning is that you breathe through a complex system of tracheae. You have 10 pairs of spiracles, or stigmata, on the sides of your body: they are located on the middle chest and the back chest, as well as on the eight segments of your abdomen.

The mantis laughs and continues walking.

THE LAZY MANTIS

I told you I was breathing through my ass.

CHAPTER 5

SmartBaby and Mantis K approach the riverbank and stop.

THE LAZY MANTIS

Oh, I forgot there's a stream running here now.

SMARTBABY

Wasn't there before?

THE LAZY MANTIS

No, it appeared when an unauthorized dump appeared. And how are we going to cross it now?

SMARTBABY

My case is waterproof and shock-resistant, but water can get in through a crack in the screen and then I'm done for.

THE LAZY MANTIS

Why don't you ask your grandfather?

SmartBaby turns to the sky.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

Suddenly, everything around me becomes blurry, and only Uncle Internet's face appears out of thin air.

UNCLE INTERNET

What do you need, SmartBaby ?

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, help me and my friend Praying Mantis to cross this river.

UNCLE INTERNET

I suggest finding a piece of foam. I'm sending you a navigation map to the nearest unauthorized construction materials dump. You'll find the foam there.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, if anything, then be in touch.

and immediately everything becomes clear, and the air face dissolves.

SmartBaby and the Mantis stand on the bank of the stream. SmartBaby moves.

SMARTBABY

Follow me.

SmartBaby goes on the navigator, and the Mantis behind him and see nearby not authorized dump construction materials.

THE LAZY MANTIS

What'd he tell you, your uncle?

SMARTBABY

Find some Styrofoam at the dump.

THE LAZY MANTIS

Styrofoam? What's that?

SmartBaby and the Bogomol approach the dump, but a gray rat blocks their path.

THE RAT

Where you headed, young'uns? Not my dump, I hope? You'd better get around her, otherwise…

The mantis is on the attack.

THE LAZY MANTIS

What, otherwise?

SMARTBABY

Please calm down. Both of you. We won't take anything extra from you, but we need foam to cross the stream. Give us some foam, and we'll do something for you too.

RAT

Khe… I have everything here. I don't even know what to ask you for.

SMARTBABY

Let me tell you who you really are, and you'll like what the whole world knows about you.

RAT

(surprised)

Really?!

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

CHAPTER 6

And suddenly everything becomes blurry, and only Uncle Internet's face appears out of thin air.

UNCLE INTERNET

What do you need, SmartBaby ?

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, give me info about the Rat?

UNCLE INET

A rat is a small omnivorous mammal of the mouse family, rodent order, they also eat plastic and foam. They are carriers of various dangerous diseases. It is better to stay away from them, SmartBaby .

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Inet, if anything, then be in touch, and I will take your advice.

And then everything becomes clear, and the air face dissolves.

SMARTBABY

Well, a rat is a small omnivorous mammal of the mouse family, a rodent order, and they also eat plastic and foam. They are carriers of various dangerous diseases and should be driven away.

RAT

(in a rage)

What? Get out of my dump, you're not getting any foam.

The mantis grabs SmartBaby, and they start running away. The rat chases them away and returns to its guard post.

RAT

(screams)

I see you and don't you dare come back!!

THE LAZY MANTIS

Cool you praised her.

SMARTBABY

Well I thought she needed the truth?!

THE LAZY MANTIS

I don't know how you have it in the digital world, maybe everything is on the shelves and disciplined truthfully, but here it's the opposite.

Sometimes you have to lie, otherwise you won't achieve your goal.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

And suddenly everything becomes blurry, and only Uncle Internet's face appears out of thin air.

UNCLE INTERNET

What do you need, SmartBaby ?

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, your information about the rat didn't help, and she drove us away. Do you have anything good to say about her?

UNCLE INTERNET

It's no problem. Just think about using the speakerphone, and I'll tell her.

SMARTBABY

(shouts in the voice of the Internet)

Rat, this is Uncle Internet himself.

RAT

(frightened)

Oh, who is this?

SMARTBABY

Despite the fact that people don't like you, you and your relatives save them by being the subject of experiments! And if it weren't for the experiments on rats, many diseases would be impossible to cure! Glory to the Rat and Respect!!!

THE LAZY MANTIS

(screams)

And now you need to be called not a rat, but affectionately – THE RAT.

The Rat flirts with admiration.

THE RAT

I always thought about myself and my kind only bad, and it turns out that we are saving our enemies, that is, people. Well, what are you standing, go and take, your foam.

SmartBaby and the Mantis run up to the Rat. The rat takes a piece of foam from under the rubble and hands it to SmartBaby and the Praying Mantis.

RAT

Here, you can keep it. I have a lot of them.

SMARTBABY

Would you like to join us on a trip to visit The foodstick and make friends with him?

RAT

I am forced to cordially refuses, because that I have a lot of things now. I need to tell the news to their kindred. And I will always be glad to you now and sincerely ask that you do not forget me and somehow visit again.

CHAPTER 7

SmartBaby and the Praying Mantis come to the river and put the foam on the water. SmartBaby with the Praying Mantis Lobotryas sit on it, as on a raft. And push off from the bank.

SmartBaby and the Praying Mantis are swimming across a stream, paddling with their hands.

THE LAZY MANTIS

SmartBaby, I'm pleased with our success and that we have another friend to visit when we're bored.

SMARTBABY

I completely agree with you, friend, but please be quiet for a moment, I have a call to make.

The Praying Mantis makes a surprised and silly face.

And immediately everything around becomes blurry and only Uncle Inet's face from the air has a clear contrast.

SMARTBABY

What happened, Uncle Inet?

UNCLE INET

SmartBaby , I must warn you about the impending storm. There is a heavy downpour with thunderstorms and strong gusty winds.

SMARTBABY

(panicking)

What should we do, after all, we have already crossed half the river?

UNCLE INET

I suggest you to get down into the water and use the foam as a life ring. Then there is a chance that you will not turn over and drown.

SMARTBABY

What about my crack, because water can get in and then I'm done for?

UNCLE INET

A crack, you say. Then lie down with the screen on the foam, and the mantis let down into the water and steer to the shore.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, if anything, then be in touch.

And then everything becomes clear, and the air face dissolves. The first drop falls. The second and so on.

It's raining heavily with gusts of wind. The SmartBaby screen is lying on the foam, and the Praying Mantis is waving its legs in the waist-deep water, pushing the foam towards the opposite shore.

CHAPTER 8

Their foam raft is moored, and they successfully cross to the other side and hide under a driftwood log from the rain. The rain stops and the sun comes out.

But a belated thunderstorm suddenly flashes and a ball lightning appears.

SmartBaby looks at it.

SMARTBABY

Uncle Internet, come to me.

And immediately everything around becomes blurry and only the face of Uncle Internet from the air has a clear contrast.

UNCLE INET

UAU! SmartBaby, are you alive? I'm so glad you're alive! Tell me, what do you need this time?

SMARTBABY

I need info about this shining sun that appeared after a belated thunderstorm.

UNCLE INET

I got you, listen, this is a ball lightning – a natural phenomenon that looks like a luminous and floating in the air formation. A unified physical theory of the origin and course of this phenomenon has not been presented to date; there are also scientific theories that reduce the phenomenon to hallucinations.

SMARTBABY

Thank you, Uncle Internet, if anything, then be in touch.

And then everything becomes clear, and the airy face dissolves.

SmartBaby approaches the glowing ball.

SMARTBABY

(solemnly)

Hello, my name is SmartBaby, and this is my friend THE LAZY MANTIS, and we want to be your friends!

SUNNY EYE

(happily)

I am very happy to see you and your wish. I am ready to accept your friendship and become your friend. And I'm Sunny EYE.

THE LAZY MANTIS

And by the way, we're going to The foodstick.

SUNNY EYE

(happily)

Really? And he's my cousin, and he doesn't even want to hear about me, let alone go to see him? Although you might get lucky.

SMARTBABY

Do you want to know what Uncle Internet said about you?

SUNNY EYE

(happily)

Oh, of course I do!

SMARTBABY

Sunny EYE or Ball Lightning is a natural phenomenon that looks like a glowing and floating formation in the air. No unified physical theory of the origin and course of this phenomenon has been presented to date; there are also scientific theories that reduce the phenomenon to hallucinations.

Sunny EYE immediately becomes angry, furious, and as proof, she slightly burns the mantis's mustache.

SUNNY EYE

(in a rage)

How dare you?! So I'm all warm and fuzzy, and you're calling me a hallucination and saying I don't exist?

THE LAZY MANTIS

(frightened)

You didn't get it right?!

SMARTBABY

(frightened)

Yes?! We apologize for calling you Hallucination.

SUNNY EYE

(furious)

Shut up, you scoundrels!! I'll make you into ashes myself. You'll be the hallucination and the memory!!

SmartBaby and the Mantis immediately take off and start running away from the Sunny Eye.

SmartBaby and the Mantis run away from the Sunny Eye across the field.

THE LAZY MANTIS

You're really good at making friends. First, the Rat chased us away, and now the friendliest person in the park is threatening to fry us…

SMARTBABY

We made a deal with the Rat, so we'll make a deal with the Eye. Somehow.

SUNNY EYE

(furious)

I promise I'll fry you, and The foodstick is just as much of a whiner as you are and I'll warn him not to be friends with you!! That you're a pest!!

CHAPTER 9

SmartBaby and THE LAZY MANTIS run up to the ravine. TheБогомол stops abruptly at the edge of the cliff and sees that the ravine is filled almost to the top with thick fog.

Sunny EYE is speeding towards the ravine.

SUNNY EYE

I'll show you who's a hallucination and who's not.

SmartBaby turns back as he runs, towards the oncoming Sunny EYE, and suddenly crashes into the stopped Praying Mantis, causing them to roll down the ravine.

Sunny EYE doesn't have enough time to stop and hits the top of the fog, exploding like a fireworks display and disappearing.

There is no fog at the bottom of the ravine. And only the dim daylight gives the appearance that there is a fog cap or cloud above them. THE LAZY MANTIS and SmartBaby roll all the way to the bottom.

SmartBaby doesn't feel pain and jumps to his feet immediately. He looks up and makes a surprised expression on the screen. The mantis is lying down and holding its sides.

THE LAZY MANTIS

Oh, it hurts. Oh, hey, hey!

SMARTBABY

What's wrong with you, buddy?

THE LAZY MANTIS

It hurts, rolling down the hill over the bumps. Don't you feel any pain at all? Don't you have any pain?

SMRATIK

What is pain?

THE LAZY MANTIS

Are you asking me?

SMRATIK

Sorry.

And SmartBaby looks up.

Immediately everything around becomes hazy, the fog partially dissipates and only the face of Uncle Internet from the air has a clear contrast.

UNCLE INTERNET

Hello SmartBaby , what do you need?

SMARTBABY

Hello Uncle Internet. And what is pain?

UNCLE INTERNET

Pain, my boy, is an unpleasant sensation and emotional experience associated with actual or potential damage to body tissues, or described by a living being in terms of such damage. Pain can be mild or severe, ranging from discomfort to agony.

SMARTBABY

Why don't I feel pain?

UNCLE INET

Because you are not a biological being, but a mechanical one.

SMARTBABY

How is it?

UNCLE INET

You are not made up of living cells, but of metal parts through which electric current flows. Therefore, each of your parts does not have a living state. But when a part breaks, you can only feel the damage, for example, with a broken glass, but since it does not have a nervous system, you feel this damage differently, without emotions. You just feel a slight program failure and the penetration of moisture through it.

SMARTBABY

Thank you Uncle Internet. I think I get it. Pain is when there's a different kind of short circuit.