Soul Firmware
Alexandr Litvinenco

© Alexandr Litvinenco, 2025

ISBN 978-5-0068-0561-3

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Chapter 1. The Beginning of the Path

Alexander wasn’t born – he awakened.

Not with the first cry, not with the first breath, but with a silent enlightenment inside a capsule, where his body was still that of an infant, but his consciousness was like that of an ancient titan.

«Hey… is this me?» flashed through Alexander’s thoughts. «And why do I feel like I’ve just woken up after a sleepless night with a philosophical treatise on my head?»

He felt everything: the movement of air, the tension of energy beyond the walls, vibrations in the structure of matter itself. A thought – and an object trembled. A thought – and his body lifted into the air, ignoring the laws of gravity.

«Whoa!» Alexander thought. «I haven’t even had breakfast yet, and I’m already levitating! Just hope they don’t turn off gravity during diaper changes…»

But all of this was inside a sealed space, sterile, smooth, impenetrable. The capsule held him like an egg holds a chick until its time.

And then a voice sounded. Right in his mind.

«We welcome you, renewed one!» the voice said, sounding simultaneously like a mix of an old professor, a talking refrigerator, and a universal AI. «You are born. We congratulate you!»

«Thanks,» Alexander replied mentally. «But if you can hear me, then who’s speaking right now? Is it you or me?»

The voice ignored the question.

«However, there’s one catch,» it continued. «Your power is too great. And until you learn to control not it, but yourself – it will remain inaccessible to you.»

«So, I need to go on a power diet?» Alexander thought. «Like I’m some fat god?»

«All training will be directed not at controlling the power, but at controlling emotions. You must become kind. Learn to restrain aggression. Understand that power is not dominion, but responsibility.»

«Great,» Alexander sighed mentally. «So, I have to be kind, patient, understanding… In other words, become the ideal human, but in an infant’s body. Without a mouth. With a potty. And without the right to speak.»

«We will give you hints,» the voice said. «But there’s one ’but’.»

You will be reborn. Become an infant. Lose your memory. Your might will be sealed in a shell that people call Human.

A multitude of images flashed in his mind – laughter, pain, blood, children’s eyes, tears, wars, books, falling in love, loneliness.

«Whoa,» flashed through Alexander’s thoughts. «Is this a trailer for my life? Not sure I want to watch this series. Especially the episode «How They Taught Me Long Division’.»

«And if you don’t succeed…»

You will be reborn again. Again as an infant.

And if you prove especially uncontrollable or go down the wrong path – we will disconnect you prematurely. People call it «death.» After that – perhaps you’ll return as an animal. Or a plant. It all depends on you.

«A plant?!» Alexander nearly lost his divine composure. «Are you serious? I could end up as a cactus in the office of some psychopath colleague?»

Millions of faces flashed in Alexander’s head. Lists of guardians – couples, single mothers, single fathers, orphanages, mobile homes, and even monasteries. He saw their lives in a single instant. Their fears, kindness, potential, cruelty, weakness.

«Let’s see,» Alexander said thoughtfully to himself. «This couple… they’re not perfect, but they have a cat that seems smarter than most presidents. And they bake pies. That’s important. A hungry hero is a bad hero.»

He pointed to a young couple. It was imperfect. But in it, he felt a strange warmth. As if the future was still possible.

«The choice is made,» the voice said. «Let the training begin. Good luck, Alexander.»

For a moment – everything vanished. Absolute silence. Without color. Without form. Without thought.

«Well, here we go,» Alexander thought. «Now even thoughts aren’t working. What kind of upgrade is this?»

And then – a blinding flash. The hum of sensors. A cry. Warmth.

And he was born. For the first time.

«First breath!» he heard a joyful female voice. «He’s alive!»

«Alive,» Alexander repeated to himself. «Yeah, you could say I’ve officially dropped from god-level to the level of ’how not to eat my first diaper’.»

Chapter 2. The First Signals

He remembered.

Vaguely. In fragments. As if someone was whispering through a thick layer of water. A voice – «You are born. But now you are human. Learn…» – and silence. Only the essence remained.

«Yeah, as usual,» Alexander mentally chuckled. «Started interesting, and ended with a mysterious pause. Just like in a bad TV series where the hero dies, but before that says: „If you only knew what I know…“ and bam – commercial!»

His eyes – if they could be called that – saw only blurred spots of light, movements, flashes. Everything seemed like a smeared brushstroke on a canvas. His body wouldn’t obey. Muscles – weak, like jelly. He was like a mind that had inhabited a lump of flesh, for which he still needed to find the user manual.

«Why on earth did I choose this?» he thought. «I could have started with a teenager’s body, or at least a cat’s. Cats come with a litter box, a bowl, and a horizontal surface for sleep mode right away.»

Okay. Calm down. First – breathing.

He focused. Slow inhale. Slow exhale. The system started working. He sent the body its first simplest command – breathing – and locked it in, like an autopilot program.

«Autopilot activated. Now I can just lie here and watch the surrounding world panic.»

Around him, the bustle began. Someone picked him up. Carried him. Voices. Noise. Cold. Instantly – a different environment.

A new capsule. Different light. A glass dome. The beeping of sensors. What was this? An incubator?

«Did I just get upgraded to the VIP section of the pediatric ward?» flashed through Alexander’s mind. «Maybe there’s a mini-bar in here?»

Don’t get distracted. Don’t react. I’m not here for them. I’m here for the training.

He froze. Forcibly shut down the body. Plunged into sleep, keeping only the breathing subroutine active.

He needed to free up resources.

Calmness. Emptiness. Holding attention.

Waking up again, he heard… pain. Not mental, not spiritual – primitive, animalistic.

A sharp pang somewhere in the lower center. The body was protesting.

«Is this… the stomach?» Alexander tried to understand the body’s signals. «The organism demands something. I don’t know how to express it. How to make it known?»

He started searching for a way to communicate. On exhale, he tried to tense different muscle groups. The larynx, vocal cords, whatever it was in this new flesh.

Click!

«A-a-a-a-a!»

Loud. Piercing.

A cry.

The first. Reflexive. But conscious.

«It works!» Alexander mentally rejoiced. «It worked! Though maybe too loud. I’ll have to tweak the volume control gradually…»

It worked. In a moment, they brought him to something soft, warm.

He felt the warmth of skin. A heartbeat. A milky smell. And… food. Milk. It flowed into his mouth on its own. The body knew what to do.

«So… automatically? This body… it knows more than I thought. Like it has built-in instructions. Instincts?»

He didn’t resist. He just observed.

While suckling at the breast, a voice penetrated – from speakers or straight into his ears. Female. Warm, enveloping, like silk. He didn’t understand the words, but he felt the intonation.

It was his mother’s voice.

«Whoa,» Alexander noted. «This is… emotional nourishment. Looks like I got not just food, but a bonus in the form of love. Wonder if it comes with demon protection?»

He listened intently. And… the body fell asleep again. Without command. He didn’t resist. And then – they came.

Images.

Vague, shifting. Someone’s faces, snippets of phrases, landscapes of light and shadow, numbers and symbols he’d never seen but somehow knew. They floated before him, swirling like a funnel of memory that defied logic.

And he blacked out.

Just – plunged into blackness.

When he opened his eyes again, one thought was in his head:

«That was them. The hints. But… they might interfere. If I don’t learn to distinguish them from reality – I won’t pass this test.»

He felt his body weakly moving. He could already control his fingers a little. So, progress was happening.

«Soon a step forward,» he thought. «Even if crawling. But a step.»

Soon – a step forward.

But deep in his feelings – something had changed.

As if another point of presence had appeared in his consciousness. Not foreign. But not his own either.

«Hey, anybody home?» Alexander mentally called out. «Am I not alone in this body anymore?»

As if someone was watching.

Not from outside.

From inside.

And then he thought for the first time:

«What if I’m not alone in this body?»

There was no answer to this question. Only a faint echo inside his skull and a vague sense that he wasn’t just undergoing training…

But that something much greater was also beginning to awaken.

Chapter 3. The Flow

When Alexander first activated his breathing, it was a conscious effort. Attention, focus, full control. It was as if he was holding his body on manual control.

«Like the first time behind the wheel, only instead of pedals – arteries and stomach,» he thought. «Press the wrong button – and you’ll get the indigestion of the century.»

But the breathing became even. Repetitive. Automatic.

He didn’t notice how he himself allowed the body to do what it could do on its own. Pulse, eye movements, grasping reflexes, digestion – everything started working without his intervention. He just observed.

«Finally,» Alexander mentally rejoiced. «Autopilot activated. I can relax a bit… until they start changing me or feeding me from a bottle.»

His mind relaxed. And outside, a voice sounded.

Soft. Warm. He didn’t know the words, but he felt the care. It was singing. Simple, rocking, like a boat on calm water. His mother’s song. And every time that voice touched him, Alexander… surrendered.

«Resistance is futile,» he whispered to himself. «Especially if they’re giving you food, warmth, and a soft blanket. Even an ancient god should know when to rest.»

He allowed the body to live its own life. He allowed the mind – to flow.

Dreams came more often.

Vague, but strangely deep. Sometimes he saw staircases leading upward. Sometimes – windows into other worlds. Sometimes – himself, but different: adult, strong, as if he had regained his power.

He tried to hold onto the images, but each time they slipped away, leaving behind only a feeling that he was on the right path… if he didn’t rush.

«If I don’t rush?» Alexander pondered. «So, I need to become slower than I am? That’s like telling a turtle: «You’re crawling too fast’?»

And he stopped rushing. He started living. Just living.

Childhood flew by like a soft, silent wind.

It was amazing how quickly he got used to this body. It became familiar, understandable. Now he no longer thought about how to speak, how to eat, how to walk. All of it became part of him. Alexander no longer knew where memory ended and instinct began. He simply became himself.

«That’s how it is,» he thought. «First you’re a divine observer of the universe, and a couple of years later – an ordinary kid who forgets to put away his toys and is afraid of thunderstorms.»

And then – nineteen.

Behind him: school, first crushes, first disappointments. The world – noisy, alive, not allowing him to think about something greater.

It was then that his father, without attaching much importance, handed him a book.

«Read it if you’re bored. Seems smart. About all sorts of… thoughts.»

The book was called «Reality Transurfing.»

At first, Alexander flipped through it with a smirk. But by the fifth page, he froze.

«Thoughts are energy. They create vibrations that shape the space around you.»

Something clicked. He knew this. He had felt it – back in the capsule, before birth, before everything.

«Oh,» he whispered. «Could it be…»

He began to remember.

Not specific images, but – sensations. It had been like that: he thought – and it happened. In childhood. In certain moments. When he really wanted something – and it happened, as if by chance.

«So… maybe the power didn’t go anywhere?» flashed through his head. «Maybe it was just sleeping under a layer of school lessons and video games?»

He became interested in esotericism. Superficially. Diving in, but not too deep. School. Exams. Admission. Parties. Plans.

Life spun him around. And he again… missed the hint. Overlooked what he had come for. Dissolved in the flow.

But one night, sitting with a cup of coffee in the dorm and gazing at the stars outside the window, he suddenly thought:

«What if all this is just a phase? Preparation? And my real life hasn’t even started yet?»

And at that moment, in his head, for the first time in years, that very voice sounded:

«We are watching.»

Alexander froze. The world around him hadn’t changed. But memory awakened in him. And that changed everything.

And then a second voice sounded. Rough. Cold. Unfamiliar. And clearly not «benevolent.»

«And so are we.»

Chapter 4. Dream Within a Dream

«I’m telling you seriously,» Lena rubbed her eyes, settling next to him on the kitchen windowsill. «I couldn’t sleep at all. As soon as I closed my eyes – some creature would crawl in. Either on the ceiling or under the bed. I’d scream, wake up, then again. Horror.»

Alexander nodded absentmindedly. He was watching a drop of coffee rolling down the side of the mug. Something seemed to hook him, but he didn’t realize what right away.

«And you? „Have you ever had such horror dreams?“» she asked suddenly, lifting her eyes to him.

He froze.

Inside – something trembled. As if a door had slightly opened into a dark room he hadn’t visited in a long time.

«I…» he exhaled, and it flooded in. Pictures. Images. Dreams. Monsters, beasts, shadows – yes. There were. But no fear.

He suddenly remembered: every time nightmares appeared in his dreams, he didn’t run away. He… stopped. Looked fear in the face. And won.

«One time I even created a sword for myself,» he muttered mentally. «And not just a sword – stylish, with engraving and an aura. Who would give me one like that in real life?»

Sometimes he just approached and said: «You don’t exist» – and the creature disappeared. Sometimes – with a wave of his hand, he destroyed everything that scared him.

And once, he remembered, right in the dream he created a sword – and cleaved the night creature in half.

He looked at Lena.

«I didn’t have horror dreams,» he said quietly. «At least, not the ones that scare.»

«How’s that? „Were you the hero in them?“» she asked, a bit mesmerized.

«No,» Alexander replied. «I was the director.»

That night he couldn’t sleep.

Not because it was scary, but because everything inside started speaking. The hints he had once heard but forgotten sounded in him again.

«Well, here we go again,» he sighed, staring at the ceiling. «Just now, when I’ve already gotten used to life without superpowers and with a mortgage.»

He started reading about dreams.

Lucidity. Transition. Fixation techniques.

«Turns out, there are people who specially train to have lucid dreams. I wonder if they know that for me it was a normal state before I was born the second time?»

And within a week, a notebook lay by his bed. Every awakening – immediate recording. One dream. Another.

And more and more often, ladders, mirrors, doors appeared in them. Signs. As if someone was trying to get through.

He began experimenting. Asked himself questions in dreams. Checked reality. Looked for repeating symbols.

One time he even saw a mirror and asked the reflection:

«Who are you?»

There was no answer. But the reflection smiled. Terrifyingly calm.

«That smile,» Alexander thought, waking up, «was too confident. Whoever you are, buddy, you clearly know more than you should.»

He became sure – he was remembering. And soon… he would get there.

But life – as it knows how – sneaked up with a new twist.

Wedding. The same Lena – now wife. Move. Work. And then – a child. And everything spun.

The notebook stayed in the drawer. Dreams – became foggy again. Fatigue. Sleepless nights. No mirrors, no ladders. Only feeding, cries, meters, shopping.

Dreams were short, fragmented. He was losing connection. The chance was missed again.

But one night, rocking his crying son in his arms, he suddenly heard a familiar, almost forgotten whisper right inside:

«They don’t give it to you, but you can take it. It’s still possible.»

Alexander shuddered. Looked at his son.

«Maybe you’re the key?» he whispered to himself.

And that same night, he had a dream. Strange, vivid, like before.

On the mountain top stood he – adult Alexander – but in different clothes, different gait. At his feet lay a notebook. He bent down, picked it up – and on the last page was just one question:

«Are you awake?»

And right then – a voice. Not from the past. Not from the present. Somewhere in between:

«Wake up, Alexander.»

«It’s time to continue the training.»

«We’ve been waiting until you stop fearing yourself.»

He opened his eyes. His heart was beating fast. His son was already asleep. But in the corner of the room, on the floor, lay the notebook. Open. On the last page – there had been nothing there just now. And now – a line.

«Are you awake?»

Chapter 5. The System Glitches

At first, he just read.

Books, articles, diaries, practices. Everything related to dreams, awareness, working with attention. The deeper he delved, the clearer he realized: all the hustle around was just a simulator.

«If you think about it,» flashed through his head, «life is like an arcade hall where instead of coins, you hand yourself experience. Only the prizes… aren’t always pleasant.»

The world was bigger. Much bigger. And the movie «The Matrix,» which he had previously considered fiction, now seemed almost documentary.

«Well, okay, maybe not entirely documentary,» he admitted. «But there’s definitely a grain of truth in it. Especially after I learned to see through walls… at least metaphorically.»

He began to abandon habits of automatism. Not cigarettes – he didn’t smoke them. Not alcohol – he drank rarely anyway. He started with the body. Every movement – consciously. Every step – under control. Blinking, swallowing, even breathing – he monitored everything.

«It’s like I’ve gone back to ’divine testing’ mode, only now I’m my own programmer and user. Without the option to ’update’ via the internet.»

It was hard.

Especially – to silence the inner voice. The mental chatter wouldn’t shut up.

«Hey,» he said to himself. «Can you shut up for even a second? I’m trying to be enlightened, and you’re reciting my to-do list from last Thursday!»

But soon words were replaced by images, and then – they disappeared altogether. He entered a state where thoughts appeared only with his permission.

«Whoa,» he thought. «Now I can choose what to think about. Like I have a ’thought ordering’ menu in my head. Want some wisdom? Please. Or maybe some nonsense? On sale today only.»

He learned to gather energy.

It was everywhere – in the air, in the spaces between people, in glances, in rustles. No one used it, no one felt it. But he – began to draw it into himself.

But inside, it was dirty. He felt: the energy was polluted.

Parasitic impulses. Laziness. Fear. Expectations imposed by the system. All of it like a viscous layer on his own power.

«Like an old fridge,» he muttered. «Full of stuff, but half of it expired. Need a good spring cleaning.»

And he decided – to cleanse himself.

He lived near a railroad.

One day, when a rumbling freight train passed by, he closed his eyes. Imagined a stream of murky energy flowing out of him – like a rope attached to the last car. The train carried it away.

«Thanks, railroad,» he said, opening his eyes. «You’re the best free detox program I know.»

Almost immediately, he felt: freedom. Empty, clean space inside. He began to fill up. Free energy flowed into him. He gathered it, condensed it, felt it inflating him like a balloon. His body became different – sensitive, quick, like a taut string. Reactions sharpened. Intuition heightened. The world seemed slower.

«Who would’ve thought,» he smirked. «That I’d become Spider-Man without the webs, or maybe even cooler – a sensor-man.»

He developed. Year after year. But he had to pay for it. His family couldn’t handle it. Lena left. His son stayed with her, but Alexander still saw him from time to time.

«I don’t regret it,» he said to himself one day in front of the mirror. «Though maybe I should.»

Life turned its face to him. He felt he had become himself. Not the body. Not the role. But something much greater.

And then one day, in the afternoon, he was walking down the street – just to the store. Wind. People. Everyday life. And suddenly – a car. The vehicle veered sharply onto the sidewalk. Right at him. Everything worked automatically. Hand – to the side. Energy – field. Leap – aside.

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