Create the best version of yourself
Konstantin Maramygin

© Konstantin Maramygin, 2025

ISBN 978-5-0064-4193-4

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

Preface

Greetings to you, my dear readers. In this book I have tried to disclose as much as possible questions about self-realization and achieving goals. I did not do without searching for the meaning of life and your destiny. In order to really reach a new level of life and create a better version of yourself, you need to find the answers to all these questions.

After all, you must agree that the ability to achieve your goals does not guarantee that your life will be filled with meaning and you will find your destiny. Therefore, in my opinion, these things should be interconnected.

The fact is that, according to my observations, many people do not understand why they live and, most importantly, do not know what they want to be in this life. Many people have no goals and nothing to strive for. In fact, they live their lives for nothing. When talking to them, you realize that they would love to find the meaning of life, but they don’t understand how to find it. As a result, I decided to help them and all those who do not want to live their lives in vain.

You will ask me why I decided to do this?

The answer is simple. A person without a purpose in life, without understanding his destiny is a problem not only for the person himself, but also for the whole society. Since we all depend on each other, whether we want it or not. We are all, in fact, a part of one big organism. And our actions affect the whole organism. In other words, each person’s success depends on the success of other people.

And to make this idea even clearer, I will give an example. Imagine a human body, in which every cell has a certain role and function. Just like its organs. The heart is responsible for blood circulation, kidneys – for cleaning the body, eyes – for our vision, intestines – for digestion of food and saturation of blood with nutrients and so on. And thanks to this well-coordinated work, the human body exists.

Now let’s imagine that one kidney refused to do its role because it hesitated to do its job. And, looking at it, the liver refused to do its job. What would happen in such a case? Of course, such an organism will cease to exist.

We can also put it this way: a person who has not found himself in this life begins to poison people around him, blaming all others for his failures. He will try to assert himself only at the expense of convincing others of his rightness and his paradigm of world perception, while belittling the dignity and world order of another person. And as a result, destroys his life, making him a loser like him. And when such people become many, they unite and create their own reality, in which there is no order, justice and prosperity. Their element is chaos. Their mottos are: “life is shit”, “get the most out of life”, “live one day at a time” and so on and so forth. They popularize drugs, alcohol and promiscuity. They don’t want any family values. They cover themselves with slogans of freedom and democracy.

They are often used in dirty machinations and crimes. Politicians, large corporations, intelligence services, criminal organizations and other interested structures are happy to use such people. After all, it is not difficult to bribe a person who lives one day. They are willing to do anything to get funds for their immoral lifestyle. They are ready to commit crimes, organize a rally, commit an act of vandalism or terrorism, participate in revolutions to overthrow the government, the main thing is to be paid.

Living one day at a time, not valuing their lives and all those around them. They poison the lives of others by behaving defiantly, vulgarly, like a typical “bully”, showing their dislike and contrived superiority. They are like a virus, a disease that can become a cancerous tumor in society.

And to prevent this from happening, the task of the whole society is to help people who have not yet found themselves or have lost their way. We must help each other so that our organism can flourish and evolve.

I hope I have answered this question in an accessible manner.

And now let’s pay attention to the important questions that we will consider together with you: “What is the meaning of your life? What is your destiny? How to achieve any set goals? With the help of what can you become better?”

These are actually very important questions. To which every person must find an answer. And the earlier it happens, the more he can achieve in his life.

Frankly speaking, our life is just a small period of time.

Time that you and I do not appreciate as we should have.

So what do you do if you’re off track, confused and don’t understand what you need to do to get out of your predicament.

In my opinion, it requires a kind of tool to help fix you when you’re broken. Like we fix our car or the piping in the apartment. We need a kind of wrench to help us fix the breakage.

That’s why I decided to write this book, it will become this “wrench” with which you can fix yourself and your life. That’s its main mission.

So take this book as a tool that you can use in a difficult moment. And if necessary – to change your whole life. Change your worldview and understanding of life. Help you become more conscious and take control of your life. Avoid unnecessary mistakes and achieve the desired goals in life.

Therefore, I recommend that you take the material and methods in this book seriously, because the information from this book can have a global impact on your future life.

I will also ask you to take small notes while reading the book. Highlighting important theses and methods. So have a pen and paper ready.

Of course, you can read the book quickly without taking notes and without following the methods outlined in it. You will familiarize yourself with the material, perhaps you will memorize something and even try to apply in practice. But you must realize that the effectiveness of this will be very low.

I will repeat once again: this book is a tool. It is like a wrench that can lie in a toolbox for a long time. But when you need to tweak something, you remember it. And first of all, this tool is necessary for those who want to change something in their lives.

If you are satisfied with your way of life and are not ready to change something, then, most likely, you should not read it, you will save your time, which we already have very little. But in this case, perhaps among your inner circle there are people who are trying to change their lives for the better or achieve their cherished desires. If so, it is better to give this book to them, I am sure they will thank you many times.

Introduction

Tell me, would you like to achieve your goals? To get what you dream of? To live in comfortable conditions and be a happy person?

I think at least each of us would like to be financially secure and independent. To be a healthy and strong person. And most importantly, to be happy.

If with the desire to be rich there are no questions, the concept of being happy is not so clear.

It is worth noting that not every person understands the meaning of the words “to be happy”. And all the more is able to formulate the meaning of his happiness. And so a person can spend his time on unnecessary activities, mistakenly believing that this very action will make him happy.

But you can easily divide all your goals and desires into categories according to their degree of difficulty of realization. On complex, medium and easy.

As a rule, to achieve complex, global goals, we spend a significant part of our money and time. For example, to get a higher education and become a sought-after specialist. After all, for this we will have to successfully finish high school, pass entrance exams to the right university and, most likely, move to another city.

Since the most popular and reputable universities are located in big cities. This means that you need to save money for renting accommodation and moving. And prepare for a lot of small problems that you will have to face more than once.

And in fact, this complex task turns into a series of medium and small tasks. The solution of which leads to the desired global result.

Another example is learning a foreign language. This is a complex task. And its solution will consist of the fulfillment of a daily small task. Find free time to take a lesson from an online course or visit a language school.

And you can come to the conclusion that any complex task can be solved. To do this, you need to break it down into smaller tasks that you can cope with.

You can also emphasize the point that everything has its price. And the price of realization of this or that goal will be a few basic resources. This is time, money and in some cases your health.

Based on all of the above, we can say that there are no impossible tasks. Everything in this life can be achieved provided that you have time, money and health.

And everything would be great if not for one thing.

The fact is that situations can happen in our lives that can spoil all our plans and destroy our hopes and dreams. These are usually the most painful blows of fate.

You can be expelled from the university when you were in your final year. You may be betrayed by a loved one with whom you were creating a business. You may be fired from a job you love because the company went bankrupt. Your spouse may fall out of love with you and leave you for someone else, taking a significant portion of your assets. Not to mention global problems such as epidemics, disasters, military conflicts, deadly diseases, and many other extremely dangerous events that could happen to you.

All these situations can be divided into two groups.

The first group is situations that we cannot influence.

The second group – situations that we have allowed ourselves and can control.

And if we face the truth, we will see a simple truth: the average person lives 70—90 years. If we take into account school and higher education, the age at which a person begins an independent adult life is from 20 to 22 years old. And it turns out that we have about 50—70 years to enjoy this life. To realize the meaning of life. And to realize our dreams.

Do you think 50 years is a long time? Considering the fact that a person ages over the years and can get seriously ill, that would shorten this period considerably.

And in general, you have to admit that at 60 you are unlikely to become a rock star or win the Olympics. And you will not look as young and beautiful as you did in your 20s. Not to mention your overall health.

Therefore, we need to recognize that we have a short period of time for active actions in life – about 30 years. Between the 20th and 50th years of life. In fact, this is the most productive stage of our life. And our final result will depend on how we live it.

I think after this many people will say that life is very short. And it is not enough time to fully enjoy life, to get to know it better and to achieve some really serious heights.

Perhaps you are right, but I suggest not to grumble at fate. I suggest we take our lives into our own hands. Yes, we may have limited time. But it’s up to us to choose how we live it.

I am convinced that it is possible to live a short life, but one that will not be ashamed to tell about. It will be filled with meaning and all kinds of deeds that would tell about who a person was in reality. But for this you need to work on yourself and your mistakes. Set the right goals, choose the right environment and, most importantly, find your place in this life.

Our common problem is that when we are young, full of strength and energy, we want to prove something to someone and, most importantly, to ourselves. We try to fulfill the expectations of our parents or close people. But while we are young, we do not fully understand the meaning of our actions. Or rather, we think we understand everything. That we will definitely not live our lives in vain. We’ll achieve our goals and become who we want to be. And, unfortunately, while we are on our way to this, we make a lot of mistakes, because of which we find ourselves in difficult situations.

But the question now is not whether it was worth choosing such exaggerated goals at all. It’s about figuring out how to move on. How to achieve your goals and not to live your life in vain.

Someone may live his life without achieving significant results. Some will be hindered by external circumstances, some will be hindered by illness, and some will be hindered by their own laziness.

This book was written to help all those who are ready to change and are willing to take decisive action to change themselves and their lives.

The original (working) title of this book was “The Constructor”.

Because the purpose of this book is to be a tool that you can use to rebuild yourself like a constructor and create the best version of yourself. That will allow you to find the right way to achieve any goal set before you. And you will see the effectiveness of this tool as soon as you finish reading the book.

The main thesis (slogan) of this book is “Create the best version of yourself”.

The main challenge this book addresses is finding the answer to the question: “How to achieve your goals, find meaning, find your destiny and not to live your life in vain?”

The skills you can gain or improve by reading this book are:

1. Managing your time.

2. Strategic planning.

3. Psychoanalysis.

4. Logical thinking.

5. Goal-setting.

My own authoring methodology

In addition to skills, you will receive a unique concept (methodology) of cognition of yourself and the world around us, which I have been developing for 3 years before sharing it with you. This concept is a base on which you will reassemble yourself like a constructor, with the help of which you will be able to control and understand your life as a minimum, as a maximum – it is to manage your life and achieve any goals.

And most importantly, you will understand the world in a different way. Not as you perceive it now. However, I will not get ahead of myself. After reading the book to the end, you will understand everything. Now I can only say that if you are ready to become better, to gain self-confidence and create a strong foundation for your success, this book is for you.

When developing this method, I tried to explain complex things in simple language so that as many people as possible could understand and, most importantly, use this method in their real life.

Chapter 1. Problematics

Before treatment can begin, a diagnosis must be made.

Algorithm of the doctor’s work

In any action, even at first glance seemingly simple, there is a certain meaning hidden. And the one who performs this action has a specific purpose. Therefore, I suggest that you start your acquaintance with the book by exposing the problem that you will be able to fully cope with when you finish reading and assimilating the material.

I will start by trying to select the most common problems that this book will help you solve, so that you can check your problems and decide whether you need to read this book or not.

1. Lack of understanding of the meaning of one’s life.

2. lack of understanding of your purpose.

3. Lack of goals, yet a large number of desires.

4. Procrastination and lack of time.

5. Failed attempts to start a business.

6. Lack of confidence in your abilities.

7. Problems in achieving goals.

8. Lack of motivation for action.

9. Poverty and all that follows from it.

So, I have chosen nine, in my opinion, of the most popular and specific problems that any modern person can have. And as you read this book, you will get information with which it is possible to solve these problems. But for this to really happen, you need to at least want it. And for this desire to be concrete, you need to try to formulate your problems and recognize the fact of their existence. And only after that you will be able to solve them. After all, without seeing your enemy, you will not be able to fight him. But if you can not yet clearly formulate the thought of your problems, it is not a trouble. Everything will happen by itself as you read the book.

As I mentioned in the preface, I have very often had to communicate with people who do not understand what they want and who they want to be in this life. And when, in the course of a friendly conversation about the meaning of existence, I asked them the question: “Why do you live?”, they answered uncertainly and often went through all the various options in their heads. And, as a rule, they would get angry. Apparently, their defense mechanism kicked in and they started asking me questions themselves: “Why do you need this? Are you the smartest?” And things like that.

And when I asked them what they wanted to be, they got even worse, they tried to think of something on the fly or remember their childhood dreams. But as a result, it all came down to the banal, “I want to be rich and do nothing.

Then I tried to help them and asked the following question: “What would you do if you had a lot of money, for example, 100 billion dollars? You would no longer need to work at your job, at least not if the reason for working there was only money.

Here’s what you would do if you didn’t have money problems? What would your day look like? Think about it. Take your time. This is really important. I recommend writing it down somewhere. So you can double-check your beliefs if necessary.

I don’t know what your answer to this question was, but I will say that everyone I asked started to get nervous and couldn’t get their thoughts together, and eventually our conversation ended quickly. Apparently, they thought I was asking them to make fun of them or embarrass them in some way, even though my question had a purely scientific purpose.

In fact, I was only interested in all this because I’ve always had the answers to these questions. I always knew what I needed and who I wanted to be. And I thought that was the case for everyone. But as it turns out, it’s far from it. Which was later the impetus for studying this issue.

Someone says that it’s all about astrology and the location of the stars and planets in the sky at the time of birth, which leave their imprint on the character of a person. Therefore, someone is stubborn and determined, and someone is always doubting and not sure of everything.

However, to understand the character of a person, it is not necessary to turn to the stars, for this there is a science – psychology, which helps us to reveal the concepts of personality and character of a person.

But no matter what kind of character a person has and no matter who he is according to the horoscope, he always has the opportunity to learn who he is and what he lives for. And to answer these questions, it is not necessary to have special knowledge, it is enough to start asking questions and analyze the answers.

Of course, it may seem to you that by answering these questions a person gains nothing, but I hasten to assure you that it is not so. After answering them, a person still has answers with which he can further work. Namely, he can build his life in such a way that it is a consequence of these answers, like a plant that has sprouted from a seed. Or we can put it another way: it is a base, a foundation on which one can build a house in which one will live.

And it turns out that this house or plant will have the qualities and properties that the seed or foundation has given it. Do you understand what I mean?

If you have a poor foundation, the house will eventually fall apart. If the seed was weak, the plant will get few nutrients and will not survive the winter.

Our beliefs strongly influence us and our life choices. And if beliefs are built on false information, the life path can lead a person to disappointment.

And just by asking ourselves different kinds of questions, we can check our beliefs and realize whether we are moving in the right direction.

After all, if we look at such a problem as poverty from this angle, we can realize that it appears where a person has no support, no foundation, no base that would allow him to receive material benefits. And all because he has no answers to the questions that he did not even dare to ask himself.

And why should you ask, when all these questions have been answered for you by others. It’s easier to use ready-made answers than to solve them yourself. It’s just like in school when one student cheats off another. That’s probably where our problems start. After all, what a schoolboy thinks at that moment: “I don’t need to think, they have already thought for me, and I, so clever and cunning, will take someone else’s answers and get a good grade. I will be praised later”.

It is because of this that a schoolchild turns into an embittered consumer as he grows up. Who believes that everyone owes him something and is obliged to him. Accustomed to constantly using other people’s decisions and resources to achieve their goals. But that’s not all, the trouble doesn’t end there. The fact is that the goals they set for themselves do not really belong to them, they have also stolen (borrowed) them from other, more successful (in their opinion) consumers.

And it turns out that a person lives his life according to a pre-planned pattern, like a copy. Without thinking why he chose this path in the first place. Is it worth saying that the man was happy? Probably more yes than no. Since people’s memory is organized in such a way that at the end of life we remember only good things, and these good things kind of warm us up and make us think that life was not lived in vain. Especially if a person was happy in childhood, knew the joy of mutual love in youth or did something good for others.

After all, our mind is always looking for some justification for what was done and tries to build everything in such a way that it could not have been otherwise. But this is already self-deception.

Of course, you will say, the most important thing is for a person to be happy. Well, let’s try to compare two examples. In the first example, there will be a girl with a difficult fate, like in the fairy tale about Cinderella, where she has a wicked stepmother and two stepsisters. The whole life of our heroine is reduced to serving this family. She is constantly insulted and belittled, pointing out her pitiful place in this family. And then one day she managed to break out of this slavery and become free, and then her life became as ordinary as everyone else’s. And at the end of her life she will confidently declare that she has lived a happy life based only on the good things she had in her life. For it is the fact that it was with her that matters to the mind.

And exactly the same will be thought of the person from the second example, who lived all his life in love and care, and everything was good for him. He was honest and kind, helped those in need and was a soul in any company.

What to say, even a prisoner in jail, sentenced to life imprisonment, will be happy when the day of his death comes, because it is on that day that he will cease to be a prisoner and will finally be released.

After all, if necessary, our minds will always find a reason to consider ourselves happy for some memorable event in life. For something we have experienced at least once in our lives, even if only for a moment, but experienced.

As you can see from the examples, all of them will say at the end of their lives that they are happy. But if their level of happiness was assessed by a conditional audience, then, of course, on the happiness scale the second one was much happier than the others.

In other words, you and I are all happy people, but everyone’s level of happiness is different. But this is true if the level of happiness can be estimated, but if happiness is taken as an absolute, then there is no difference. Then there are two states: either you are happy or you are unhappy.

It is very similar to grades at university, there are subjects in which the level of knowledge is evaluated – pass/fail, and there are subjects in which a grade (point) is given. And usually no one understands why one subject is evaluated by grades and the other by pass/fail.

So to simplify, I propose that we choose a pass/fail system where we take happiness as an absolute value. It is either there or it is not there.

And if we go back to the banal statement that the most important guideline of a human being is to be happy, it turns out that we will be happy in any case. And no matter what kind of life a person lives, at the end of his path he will still be happy. And all cases when a person says that he is unhappy, he only expresses the current state of his affairs. It is even something like a mood: now you feel a good mood and it seems to you that you are happy, but if something suddenly goes wrong according to your plan, then the mood will change sharply to bad, and with it the assessment of your happiness.

Based on this, happiness can be categorized as a mood marker. And it turns out that it is only one possible mood score. And if we chase “good mood”, we will become children who only want to play and eat various sweets.

Therefore, I suggest not to identify happiness with mood and, taking into account all of the above, recognize that you will eventually become happy, whether you want it or not. Since it is inevitable, I suggest that you do not delay in recognizing this fact and admit to yourself right now that you are a happy person! And you have been a happy person since the moment you were born into this world. From now on, live with this thought. And when someone tells you that he is unhappy, you will realize that in fact the person just wants to say that things are not good for him at the moment. And vice versa, when a person falls in love or wins the lottery, it is as if he shines with happiness and firmly knows that right now he is a happy person, because things are going much better for him.

And this is where we get to the specifics. Namely, our own assessment of our current state of affairs. After all, this is what is really important for us. Because our perception of life depends on this assessment. If things are going well with us, then life seems to be beautiful to us. It is as if the universe hears us, and fate favors us. But if our affairs go wrong, as we wanted, we immediately begin to think that we are unhappy and everyone around us only hinder us or try to put a stick in our wheels. And we can start blaming our problems on close people, competitors, politicians and circumstances in general, talking about the black streak of bad luck in our life and so on.

Few people can admit that things are going badly for them only because they themselves initially chose the wrong path. And the problems that have arisen are only a consequence of the first mistake of choice.

That is, when initially planning his affairs, a person made mistakes in his calculations or he did not think about possible problems. Perhaps he chose a goal that did not correspond to his principles, or he was driven by self-interest or envy, even worse, if it was revenge or resentment, and so on.

And these are seemingly incongruous things, but they play a huge role in everything we do. Our motives and beliefs, our intentions that we position through our actions and behaviors. All of these are the binding cement for our future endeavors. And before we start a new endeavor, we need to be sure to test how good our cement is. And for this purpose we will have to ask ourselves questions again and check with our goal and our destiny according to the received answers. After all, there must be meaning in our actions, right? Isn’t there?

“Of course!” – you will answer. After all, you and I are at least serious, adult people who have taken responsibility for our lives into our own hands. And we understand perfectly well that in this life you have to work to survive. And sometimes there are difficult moments, but we pass them with our heads held high.

And based on all of the above, it can be summarized that we all work hard and overcome something all the time, while achieving certain material benefits and social status.

And this is clear to everyone, but as I said above, most people don’t understand why they live and what they would do if they had a lot of money.

I think this is only because they don’t ask themselves these questions.

But if you start asking them, you can come to a mixed conclusion.

Some will say that they live for the sake of their relatives and loved ones, and for them it will even be the meaning of life. For someone it will be service to God. Someone will choose the meaning of achieving a certain dream. And of course, there will be people who will say that they live to enjoy themselves.

Of course, this is only a set of the most banal and simple reasoning, and in fact there are many more. But what they all have in common is that all their conclusions were made on the basis of their knowledge of the world and their place in it. To put it another way, on their understanding of who they are in this life.

It follows that a person’s level of knowledge and beliefs determine their response. If we imagine for a moment that we all have the same knowledge and beliefs, it follows that our answers would also be the same. But I dare assure you that this is not true, it is sophism¹. Because this example does not take into account people’s living conditions. And we have different conditions. And our conditions will dictate to us the rules of behavior and create our worldview.

A thief will reason from the position of a thief, a policeman from the position of his duties, and as long as there is poverty, and the very concept of money, we will all be divided in our opinions about what is important for us and what is not. And everyone will be happy, but in his own way. And everyone will regret and cry in life, but about something different.

So what is the meaning of life?

This question may arise in every person when he tries to understand the reasons for his existence.

And as a rule, the first thing that comes to mind is what he read somewhere, heard or saw on TV or the Internet. And most likely, this answer will suit him, but will not make him happier.

And if you think about it, why is there no unambiguous answer to this question, which would suit everyone and everyone would accept it as the absolute truth?

Well, let’s try to reason with you, if we approached this question from the point of view of logic, so that we would have succeeded.

So, what is the meaning of life?

In order to start our reasoning somewhere, I propose to draw our attention to something simple and understandable for us, but at the same time that would answer our question.

For example, let us ask a more understandable question: what is the meaning of an ant’s life?

I think the meaning of the ant’s life is to ensure a stable future for its colony. And that’s why he works hard. And they have no slackers. Everyone is busy doing their own thing. They have soldier ants, guard ants, worker ants and so on. They are all busy doing their own thing, but at the same time all their duties and their labor serve the same purpose – the survival of the colony.

And now let us speculate, what is the meaning of animal life?

I think that they have the same program as ants – survival and continuation of the species. They get food, reproduce and protect their territory.

Let’s think further.

What is the meaning of life in plants?

I think that plants, as well as animals, have one global task – survival. Through feeding and reproduction.

And it will be the same for fish and birds. So we can conclude that all creatures of nature have the same meaning of life – survival and continuation of the species.

And now let’s think, what is the meaning of life of primitive man?

I think, the same as all others – survival. Through food and the continuation of the species.

But there is one “BUT” that immediately caught my eye: “The survival of man is possible only at the cost of the lives of all others”. If the flora and fauna that exist on our earth did not exist, man would not be able to survive. Without plants, fish, birds and animals. Whereas the absence of man would only improve the living conditions of all creatures of nature.

This is an interesting thought that could be developed further, which could lead us to the question: is man a creature of nature? If his absence only improves nature… But now our thoughts are about something else.

So, what we get is that all of the above groups have the meaning of life – survival. Through food and reproduction. And if we look separately at survival as food extraction, we get an interesting picture: “Herbivorous animals eat plants, they, in turn, are eaten by predatory animals. And man eats them all.”

Man also uses natural resources to organize his life and livelihood – wood, coal, oil, metals, minerals, etc.

And if we now begin to reason about the meaning of life from the point of view of the above, it turns out that the meaning of life of animals and plants is to become food (resource) for humans. It sounds cruel, but based on this reasoning, it is so.

But let’s not stop and think further. Since everything is so organized, everyone is food for someone else, more predatory and stronger. For whom is the human being food in this chain?

Obviously, for microorganisms. But this applies not only to man, but to all living things on this earth. So we will not stop here. Let’s go further, let’s turn on rational thinking.

If we look at human life from the outside, we see that people create farms, raise livestock, create infrastructure in order not to have problems and interruptions with food and resource extraction. And obviously, that’s fine.

People have even invented aquariums and terrariums, where they create conditions close to natural, natural. To breed various fish and animals.

In all these cases, the person who created the farm, terrarium and the like, considers it his property. Including all the animals that live in it. And he can dispose of them as he pleases. He feels like he owns the animals. And he uses them for food and household needs.

And if we look at food from the point of view of a resource, we see that food is energy. And today it is the only source of energy for humans recognized by modern science.

Since that’s the case, let’s broaden our scope of analysis for a second and allow for the existence of other beings. Let’s assume that we’re not alone in the universe. Let’s say we were put here by someone. Let’s say that someone is watching us.

Then we get an interesting picture.

What if we are someone else’s property and our cities are like farms and cattle stalls? Maybe we’re a source of energy that someone else is also feeding on. Then it all fits. That explains why there’s a change of civilizations every 150 to 300 years. It’s just someone harvesting.

Yeah, that’s what inductive reasoning² leads to. New questions. But I think it’s time to stop there and get back to our meaning of life.

Ever since man began to think and complicate his life, the meaning of life for him as an individual began to change. Besides the basic meaning of survival, he began to search for more complex meanings. Because of this, new theories and hypotheses of existence began to appear. And this, in its turn, began to press on the human brain, and the meaning of life for him became only a form of thinking about his mortal existence.

And to beat all this crap out of my head, I suggest using such a concept.

Since the question of the continuation of the human race is not an urgent one right now. And you can easily manage to get food. You can choose your own meaning in life. I give you permission. Put aside all doubts and choose your meaning of life. Like finding your destiny and realizing your potential one hundred percent.

Why not?

I really like that idea. Imagine if everyone wanted to find their destiny and realize their potential one hundred percent. I think the world would look very different, in a good way.

Just think what a high standard of living we would have, and most importantly, people would have much higher qualities and skills. And overall, as a result, humanity would have evolved faster.

So if you don’t have your own clearly defined meaning of life yet, I suggest you use this one. At least, it will be a great base and support for building your life path. And at the same time it will allow you to set high goals and achieve them.

In addition, having specific goals, your life at least will not be boring. Agree that none of you would want to live a boring life, at least if you had a choice.

You know, it’s even too obvious to ignore, but we humans always want some kind of thrill. We always want a taste of struggle, of competition, of rivalry, of competition. We often take risks and often lose, and then we have problems, and we start to correct them with new strength. And by overcoming these problems, we kind of give ourselves an extra tick and feel proud that we managed to get out of the next problem.

So, in other words, I want to say that people tend to create problems for themselves in order to solve them later. A simple, measured and clear life is not interesting to them. I don’t know where we get it from, but it’s like a pain in the ass that keeps making itself known. We don’t sit still. And we seek our own adventures.

That’s the way the mind works, and it’s our everything. No wonder that in the spiritual practices of India the human mind is associated with a wild monkey that cannot sit still.

Perhaps that’s where all our troubles come from. Our minds are restless and unstable. Today we may wake up with the desire to conquer the universe, and tomorrow – with a feeling of fatigue and a desire to lie in bed a little longer and put things off for later.

And so it is with everything. Our perception of life is quite plastic and changeable, which, in turn, affects our choices at a particular time and place. And often our minds make the wrong decision, mistaking the temporary for the permanent.

Now it becomes obvious that the root of evil lies in our mind. Our mind is our gift and our curse. Sometimes it may seem to have a life of its own, like a wild mustang that has broken free. And it’s up to you and me to ride it. In other words – to tame him, to make him obedient and calm, so that he serves us as a loyal friend and stop showing us his wild character.

And now we can safely conclude that our problem with you and me has always lurked in our heads. In our minds. And in order to start a new life with a clean slate or to change something in your current life, the first priority will be to work with our mind. Namely with our beliefs, attitudes and rules, which we use automatically and on the basis of which we make decisions. Also we should not forget about our addictions and phobias. After all, all of these create certain kinds of limitations that constrain us and keep us from moving.

So right now I propose to do an audit of your mind. Do a complete audit of all of your settings. Disassemble and reassemble your beliefs. To get rid of unnecessary attachments and fears. To assemble, like a building block, the best version of yourself. Allowing yourself to become whoever you want to be and achieve the goals you dream of.

“What does it take to do that?” – you ask.

Be very attentive as you read the following chapters and start taking notes. The methodology I have developed will allow you to reassemble your mind and make it more organized and obedient. But for the effect to take hold, you will need to practice the techniques and recommendations I will give you. And most importantly, you need to want to change yourself and your life for the better.

Chapter 2. Basic concepts to pay attention to

First, you and I need to get the basics straight. We need to understand what lies on the surface. After all, without defining the basic concepts, we will not be able to reason about more complex things. In simple words, we need to create a knowledge base on the basis of which further reasoning will be built.

After all, each of us has our own view, our own opinion on every situation or event. I would like your view to be correct.

So let’s start with the general. There are basic things that you and I need to talk about. For example, about the world you and I live in. It is our environment and we need to know how we should live in that environment. What the rules of life are and how we can influence this world.

All of you and I live in a world that is filled with both good times and bad. We can face problems at any second. From the bad moments it can be illness, betrayal of friends, getting fired from a job and many more. From the good ones, we may get promoted at work, we may get a good monetary reward for our hard work or meet our other half and experience a feeling of love and care.

In short, our lives are multifaceted, just like our world. There are good and evil in it. At the junction of these contradictions, neutrality is born. And this neutrality is our modern world. Our reality.

There are laws and rules of behavior in our society. There are religions and various organizations with their own worldviews and statutes. Not to mention the customs and traditions of each nation.

This all leads us to the point where our choices are narrowed. A person is told how to behave in society, how to earn money, where and how to spend it, not to mention how and to what God to pray. After all, this is the law (customs, traditions, norm). That’s what everyone does, and that’s what you do. If you don’t do it the way everyone else does, you will have problems.

On the one hand, it is good, because in reality people are not born decent and conscious. They need to be taught, educated, controlled, guided. So that they themselves do not destroy their own lives and even more so someone else’s. And on the whole it is fair.

The word fairness is, at first glance, self-explanatory. And it seems to be very easy to be fair. But the problem is that justice can be interpreted in different ways. Each person can use arguments in his own favor and thus violate the fairness of another.

For example, many people think it is unfair that most of the money on our planet is concentrated in the hands of a small group of people. And they think it is unfair that in one country people starve and in another country people throw away excess food.

From this we can conclude that there is subjective fairness – it is different for everyone. And objective – when deeds are evaluated not by the interests of the parties, but by the basic moral principles of “good and evil”. That is why there was a need for courts, where the judge must establish objective fairness, relying on the laws of a given society.

But as you might have guessed, nowadays courts have become subjective, corruption and blackmail are the main weapons of powerful people. And now, people in whose hands there is power determine what is good and what is bad. Unfortunately, this is a fact and it must be recognized.

You know, we can talk for a long time about how hard it is for ordinary people to live in countries where corruption and lawlessness reign. How people are manipulated through the media. TV presenters and journalists brazenly lie and get good fees for it. How in underdeveloped countries children are stolen and sold into slavery or for organ transplants. We seem to be a civilized society, but for the most part we remain savages with spears. We have the same law as before: “He who is stronger is right”. And this strength is measured by power.

I am only telling you this to show you that there are laws and rules that were formed before we were born. And with them there are also the problems of society, which are more than a thousand years old. And our task is simply to accept these rules of the game. This will save us a lot of time. Because everyone who has tried to fight the system always ends up with nothing. And not even because they were weak, but because by defeating certain leaders of the system, they will be forced to become part of a new system that will eventually break them. Because the system holds on to the basic sins of society. And it is useless to fight them with methods of force. It is necessary either to learn how to manipulate them, or to raise a new generation, which will be much more moral and conscious. But this is already from the category of fantasy. So if you decide to become a politician, I can only sympathize with you, because it is difficult and unpopular to be a decent politician, and most likely you will become an ordinary corrupt “button-pusher”. However, I do not think that such people will read this book. Therefore, I will once again voice my thought: do not waste your precious time fighting the system. It will destroy itself, but it will not be for a long time.

Time

Time is exactly what we need to think about. It is the most valuable and irreplaceable resource that every human being possesses. Time is given to everyone. But the amount of this time is different for everyone. If we waste time on trifles, we will not have time to achieve our goals. And, accordingly, vice versa. Someone who wants to spend time watching TV shows must sacrifice his goals. And if one’s goal is to watch TV, then there is no problem. Actions coincide with goals.

That’s why there are always critics who, lying on the couch, criticize others and say that here they would have done it differently. Exactly the way it should be done. Funny, but how do they always know how things should be done? Maybe you can get the wisdom of the universe from TV? I don’t think so. In fact, they just know the fact of what happened and judge from an “if only” position. But the point is, you can’t know until you try.

The importance of time can be discussed at length, but since I value your time, I will try to highlight the most important things for you.

Let’s start with the most important thing, you must remember and always try to keep in your mind the thought: “You have the opportunity and the right to manage your time”. Only you decide what to spend it on. After all, time is your life. The interval between your birth and death.

The second thing you must remember. Time flows like a river. And just like a river, it has a direction of flow. But unlike a river, time cannot be stopped or its direction turned. You can sit in one place and do nothing, but it will continue to flow at its own speed and in its own direction.

The third thing is that you must make a rule: “You must plan your day and your life”. If you do not set goals and do not act according to a plan, you are like a leaf on a tree that has fallen into a river, you will float downstream, and there is no telling where you will end up. Learn to plan your daily routine based on your needs and goals.

Fourth, keep track of time. Put a clock in a prominent place. Have it on your desk at work, in the kitchen, and in your bedroom. Get in the habit of feeling the passage of time. Control your actions based on the time allotted in your plan.

Fifth, your plan should contain specific actions with the time allotted for a specific task. What a plan should be, I will talk about in the future. But the main condition is that the plan should be based on your goals.

You also need to teach yourself to value your time. After all, you will be constantly distracted by various trifles. Your family and relatives, your friends and acquaintances. No matter how much we love them, they will distract you with their conversations, requests and problems. You need to learn how to filter their requests. After all, you can spend the whole day talking to a friend, going shopping with your girlfriends and still not fulfill your plan for the day. Sure, we want to go out and socialize with friends at times. I’m not against that. But it also happens that we are in the mood for work, we are busy, and we get a call asking us to go for a walk or sit at a friend’s house. And at that moment we need to ask ourselves a question – is it worth it? What is important to me right now? To be there or to do my business? After all, no one will do your business for you. My point is that every choice has a price, and that price is time. Your time. So I urge you to value your time and not waste it.

And I also noticed one peculiarity: as we get older, we start to feel like time is speeding up. And the results of our actions show up quite quickly. If you are under 25, it may seem to you that you have your whole life ahead of you. You can plan, choose, do, then change your mind and choose again, then do again. And the result of your actions was usually waiting for you somewhere out there in the future. Even after we make mistakes, we feel like we still have plenty of time to correct those mistakes. After the age of 30, it becomes obvious that it is better not to waste time on rash and unnecessary actions. After all, we get the result of them almost immediately. And correcting mistakes takes too much time.

Information

What we also need to think about is the information that constantly surrounds us. Every day we are exposed to a huge flow of information. We watch the news, listen to the radio, read newspapers and news feeds. We communicate with our friends and coworkers. Sometimes we empathize and take things personally. And all this information accumulates and affects our mood.

Unfortunately, most of the information is negative, because there is a lot of it. The news is always talking about crimes, disasters and people’s misfortunes. In addition, our friends complain to us about their problems. And whether we like it or not, we absorb this information. And our mood automatically changes. And with it, our perception of the events around us changes.

I’m telling you this because it’s important. Information affects our mood and outlook. We need to learn how to filter the information that comes to us. Create a filter that it must pass through before we can react to it.

I suggest making a rule. You don’t make a specific decision or draw a conclusion until you have tested the information for truth, importance, and usefulness.

If the information is obviously false, why would you take it into account and react to it in any way. And if there is no way to verify it, then take it neutrally. You can give it the status of “unverified information”. This way you will protect yourself from possible wrong decisions and actions.

If the information is very important and you need to react to it as quickly as possible, and there is no time to check it, then you should be guided by common sense and principles that you have. After all, in such stressful situations, you can be told how to act, and if you make a mistake, you will regret later that you listened to someone else.

The usefulness of information is an important criterion. If the information is not useful to you and your family, why think about it and take it personally. For example, if your friends tell you about political conspiracies and the fact that we are ruled by secret societies, or about how the main character of a TV series cheated on his wife and ten episodes later it turned out that he had a child by a servant, and so on… This can all be interesting at first glance, of course, but trust me, it’s a waste of time. They will try to involve you in these arguments to prove their point. Your head will be occupied with thoughts that will do you no good. They will only steal your precious time for meaningless arguments.

We must choose what to pay attention to. Based on this choice, we form our picture of the world and our relationship with it.

Choice

Agree that everyone chooses for himself how to act in a particular situation, for example, to run through a red traffic light or to wait for a green light. Give way to an elderly person on the bus or pretend not to notice him. Pretend you’re asleep or stare at your phone pretending you’re seriously engaged in something.

In the same way, someone has chosen for himself the widespread position that everything bad that happens in our country is the fault of officials and the president. And they will beat their chests that if he were president, everything would change in the country at once and life would be better.

Every day we all find in our heads a lot of answers to questions that no one has asked us. But we think it’s important or interesting. We think about stories we’ve heard from our friends, about problems in our family, in our relatives, about problems at work. About shows and movies that interest us. About the news we read and see on the internet, not to mention the endless stream of information from mobile apps, video channels and social networks.

All of this certainly affects us. Our choices and our lives. And, as a rule, we don’t take it seriously.

But we can choose which questions are worth thinking about and which are not worth paying attention to.

Perhaps some of you have at least once thought about these questions: “Why do I live? What is my mission in this life? What is my destiny? What is the meaning of life? Why exactly is this happening to me?”

Or a series of questions like these: “How do I become successful? How can I realize my dream? What profession should I choose? Where should I go to study? What should I be? How do I become famous? How to become rich?”

I deliberately separated these questions because they differ in ideology. And of course, by the age of the person. As people age, their opinions and their beliefs change, just as their living conditions change and their questions change accordingly.

The main difference between these questions is what they focus on. The first set of questions are questions whose answers will not bring monetary rewards and most likely will not improve your financial situation. These answers will lead to new questions that require a meticulous approach and often lead us to dead ends. And that is why people do not want to look for answers to them, because not everyone is ready to dig into themselves, much less to change. Work on yourself, look for sources of knowledge and self-development. Therefore, people refer them to rhetorical or philosophical questions. To just speculate on this topic without making concrete decisions. It seems to talk about it, and it is already good, especially if you argue with another person, proving your rightness.

The second block is questions, the answer to which gives a concrete guide to action, which should be done now. And most importantly, these questions solve the material situation of a person. That is, our material well-being depends on the solution of these questions. Will we starve or will we be fed and warm. Many “spiritualized people” will say that all these issues are the embodiment of the modern inquiry of our ego. The lust for material goods and wealth. Gaining popularity and fame in the eyes of others. To be more socially relevant than others, or, we can say, more simply, to be special, not like everyone else. Becoming better than others. To become richer than others, and so on.

You have to agree that after these words, it already begins to smell of pride and ego. And in order not to go to extremes, we need to keep a balance. It is like the story about Buddha, who was sitting on the bank of the river under a big tree and meditating, renouncing all worldly goods. And by chance he heard musicians floating along the river talking to each other. One of the musicians taught his student: “If you pull a string too tightly, it will break. If you pull a string too loosely, you won’t be able to play.” It was then that the realization of the Middle Way came to him: Truth is in the balance between extremes.

The most interesting thing is that throughout our lives we are constantly making choices that directly depend on what questions we put before ourselves at any given moment in our lives. And this choice influences our life path.

We make choices all the time, from what we eat for breakfast to what time to set the alarm clock.

And that would be okay if it were easy. But in fact, we make choices on automatic, without thinking about what this choice, this decision, will affect in the future. And of course, as a consequence, we live in a series of days and events woven from our small decisions and choices. And when most of the decisions we make on automatic, we are in a state of “swamp” or, as it is commonly said, we are adrift. And unfortunately, this suits us. Why bother and think unnecessarily, if we can live like everyone else. And we are taught to live like everyone else by TV, Internet and social networks, where we are told: take a mortgage, buy products at low prices with incomprehensible composition and have more rest. Watch soap operas, drink beer, eat sausages and have babies, and so on. I’m not talking about movie heroes, showbiz stars, from whom people take an example.

From all this we can draw a simple conclusion: we are confused and do not understand what we really need. As a consequence, we do not understand what we need to do to change ourselves and our lives. And often we don’t even want to change. We just want to consume, have all the benefits of life and still be ourselves.

Why am I telling you this?

Because we all need to realize one simple truth. We can think that tomorrow everything will change, that we will be successful in business, that we will buy a new house, a car, go on vacation to the sea or create a family with a loved one. And we believe it, we think about it, we say to ourselves: I think about it, so I will materialize it in my life. After all, “thought is material”, so everyone says. The main thing is to believe in yourself and everything will work out.

Do these words sound familiar? I am sure that everyone is familiar with this expression. It has become fashionable to motivate yourself, to say that the Universe hears you and you just have to ask and everything will come to you.

But in fact nothing happens. People have become very lazy. They think that, here, they have drawn a map of desires or pasted on the wall pictures with houses and expensive cars, and it is possible to stop here. After all, they did not just think and ask the Universe, they also drew and hung their desires in front of themselves. To look at it every day and think about it.

Now, after reading this and perhaps seeing yourself from the outside, you realize that this is silly. We think we are changing our lives, yet in real life we have been living as we have been living. We do not change our lifestyle, our habits, and, most importantly, we do not take concrete actions.

Because someone told us that all you have to do is want, believe in yourself, visualize or ask God, and it will come to you.

And when time passes and nothing happens, we find excuses, blaming everything on officials, bureaucrats, high taxes, government, wife, brother, friend, competitors, everyone is to blame for your dream not coming true. After all, you did everything right as you were told, thought, believed, asked, visualized, etc.

Back in high school, I realized that little things play an important role in life. But I underestimated the power of choice. While you are young, you think that you will live forever and have time for everything in your life. And so you can spend time on this and that, and put something off for later. Give in to the general trend, be part of the culture, watch TV shows and movies because everyone watches them. Read books that were recommended to you, go to a sports club because your friend or neighbor goes there. Go out with friends in the evening or hang out in night bars and clubs. Get married, have children and live like all “normal people”.

And only time shows us whether we made the right choice earlier. And what result we got at the end of our life.

Unfortunately, we begin to think about time when we are adults, looking back at the years we have lived and making certain conclusions. Now it becomes clear why parents always try to protect their children from their own mistakes of youth. But children often take them at bayonet, fight with them. And as a result, they get their own bumps on the head.

Therefore, the “choice” should be taken seriously, the earlier a person realizes this, the faster he can put his life in order. After all, in the end a person is not defined by his qualities, but only by his choice.

But how to understand all this to a modern person who is in a constant information storm? How can he understand his life and start living by his own rules?

And here I suggest you take a short pause. Imagine that you and I are sitting in a spacious, bright room, the air is filled with the fragrance of summer flowers, you can hear birds singing outside the window. You are not disturbed or distracted by anything. At some point you catch yourself thinking that you really like it here.

After a couple minutes, I ask you to have a pen and a piece of paper ready so that you can make the necessary notes.

“Well, let’s get on with it, my friend!”

Chapter 3. The Right View of the Situation

So, the first step to your success is to learn to soberly and rationally assess the current state of affairs. But first, I suggest that you prepare a pen or pencil and a piece of paper to make small notes. We will need them in the future, because now we are going to go with you to one very interesting place.

The Wish Shop

Now I’m going to ask you to fantasize a little. Imagine that you find yourself on an unfamiliar street, in an unfamiliar city. The store window is lit up with a bright lamplight. The sign, on the other hand, is unremarkable and quite old, and it reads, “Welcome to the Wish Shop.” You open the door curiously and walk to the nearest shelves of merchandise.

What was your surprise when on the shelves instead of the usual products you saw such as: “Strong and pumped arms”, “Perfect abs”, “Foreign language”, “Twine”, “Lose 44 lb”, “Millionaire”, “Popular actor”, “Rock star”, “Dream car”, “New profession”, “Change of residence” and many other funny wishes.

When you got closer to take a closer look, you saw an unusual price tag. In addition to the cost in money, there was a cost in time (see Figure 1).

Figure 1

Underneath the price tags was a sign explaining: “The price is approximate, because everyone has their own individual needs and abilities. And the final calculation is made individually”.

Then you noticed that in the very corner of the store there was a counter with some strange goods, they were packed in a box and each of them was marked “Dangerous for life”. Later you examined the sign above this rack, it said that these were desires based on revenge, anger and jealousy. And the price of some of them could cost you your life.

– Ew! That’s horrible! – you said out loud, unbeknownst to yourself.

And then a saleswoman comes up to you.

She even looks like a pretty and young girl, but with a very cold and businesslike look. Before saying hello, she examined you from head to toe and then through her teeth squeezed out a word:

– Hello!

– Hello, – you answered.

– Anything you’ve chosen? Or perhaps you’re looking for something special? – She asked with a smirk.

– I just… came in to look around. It’s the first time I’ve seen a store like this…

– What?! First time? Don’t kid yourself, everyone wants something, but they don’t realize the true cost of their desires. If you don’t have money to pay, you should have just said so, don’t waste my time! – snorting unhappily, the saleswoman went to the back room.

– What boorish behavior! I really came here for the first time, but I promise it was the first and last time! – Shouting at the saleswoman in her wake, you hurried away.

As you left the store, you found yourself in a narrow street full of people, all of whom were in a hurry to get somewhere and trying to outrun each other. When you heard the thunder, you decided to go to the nearest cafe, where it was warm and cozy.

Sitting at a small table by the window and drinking a hot cappuccino, you watched the rain falling, the drops dripping down the glass and, gathering into streams, flowing into puddles, into which passers-by carelessly stepped. And then the thought struck you, how good it is to be in the warmth, drink hot coffee and just watch all this fuss from the side. Where are they all running to? Why? Eh. Well, to be honest, it doesn’t matter anymore…

And now it’s time to get back to reality.

The first thing we need to pay attention to is that the salesman was right. When she said that everyone wants something, but not everyone realizes the true cost of their desire.

And that’s really true. We are all human beings, and we all have needs. Of course, we do not go to the store of desires, but we constantly go to ordinary stores, and when we buy goods, we pay for them with money. Which, in turn, we earn at work. And it is precisely at work that we spend our time.

That is, theoretically, we can tie the price of goods per unit of time we spend to earn the right amount of money.

But what about our ability to pay? How do we estimate it?

To do this, we need to make a small calculation, after which you and I will make our own individual payment card, which we can use to pay with when buying goods in the store of desires.

It can be made in three different tariffs: “Optimist”, “Realist”, “Pessimist”. Everyone can choose their own rate depending on their beliefs. But first you need to fill out a questionnaire.

Questionnaire for issuing a personalized card for payments in the Wish Shop

1. Indicate your age (how old you are today).

2. Think about and estimate how many total years you will live. And choose one of three options:

a) 60 years old (Pessimist tariff);

b) 85 years (Realist tariff);

c) 100 years and more (Optimist tariff).

3. Indicate the number of years you “approximately” have left to live. To do this, subtract the first answer from the second answer, according to the chosen tariff.

4. Calculate and indicate your minimum annual/monthly income.

5. Calculate and state your expenses per year/month. (This includes all mandatory payments: loans, alimony, taxes, rent, travel expenses, maintenance of personal transportation, telephone and internet charges, hairdresser and all those services you cannot do without in your daily life).

6. Indicate how much spare money you have on hand after expenses are subtracted from your income. In year/month format.

7. Indicate how much free time you have on a typical weekday. (Sleep time, lunches at work, and weekends do not count.) In day/month/year format.

8. Indicate how many free weekends you have available, including vacations. In month/year format.

Once you have completed the questionnaire, you can issue yourself your own personalized card for shopping at the Wish Store. It should look something like the one in my picture (see Figure 2).

Figure 2

As you have already realized, we have three types of currency on the map: money, time and weekend. But the most important thing is that they have one thing in common, they are free. And this is a mandatory criterion. In addition, like a regular bank card, this card can also be replenished. To do this, you will need to make a new calculation taking into account the updated data.

But first, you need to think and remember which wishes you have purchased over the last year and which wishes you are paying for right now. It won’t be hard to figure this out, if you have a very sad looking balance on your card, then most likely you have already purchased on that card. And therefore the purchase of new wishes will be unavailable to you.

Accordingly, in order to replenish the card, you need to start earning more or reduce your expenses. As for time, in order to increase it, you should at least learn to plan your time, but ideally you need to follow time management based on your plan. And if you don’t have a plan, the first thing you need to do is create one. I’ll talk more about how to do that later.

What is important for us now is not even the card balance itself. But the very fact of understanding that our desires are a commodity that has its own price. And just like any other product, after buying it, we may face the fact that this product does not fit our size or has expired. That is, it may have the same properties as any other product. But, unlike material things, desires cannot be returned to the seller. Since no one will give you back your time. And from what you will choose desires, so your life will be formed.

And our problem is that we are always dreaming about something, wishing and imagining that if I had this or that, then I would be happier. But in fact, often after we get what we want, we quickly forget about it and switch to new desires.

Now try to remember how many of your “wants” you have realized and where is it all now? Have you become happier? Or has it all caused you more trouble than joy? Think about it.

Wish List

Now let’s do a very useful thing. Try to write down 3—4 wishes or goals that are important to you on a piece of paper. Exactly those that you want to realize during the year. These can be not only some big purchases, but also significant personal achievements for you.

Once you have made your wish list, try to evaluate each wish in the three currencies mentioned above. To do this, you need to ask the following questions:

– How much time do you need to spend to achieve this goal? This could be years, months, days or hours.

– How much money do you need to spend?

– How many days off do you need to take to realize your desire?

– What additional conditions do you need to create in order to achieve this goal?

To make it clearer, let me give you an example (see Figure 3).

Figure 3

The more specific you are about your desires and the conditions for achieving them, the easier it will be for you to plan your life. Since you will already understand the real price of your desires and the conditions that need to be created. In the future, these records will still be useful to you.

And now that you understand all this, take another look at your list. Perhaps, after your evaluation, you are already reluctant to realize any of your desires. Especially after looking at your balance on the card.

I realize that this is unusual for you and may look silly, but trust me, this is how it works. We need to visually see information about our resources and information about prices so that we have a “sober” assessment of our needs and possibilities in our heads.

When we dream about something, that’s good. But when we spend money and time recklessly, on things we just want to buy, that’s bad, especially if you’re doing it on a credit card.

In general, if we talk about spontaneous purchases, we can say that this is an extremely unjustified behavior. If you have specific goals and desires, then to realize them you need to spend resources on them, not on fleeting needs. Because with these actions you deprive yourself of the opportunity to realize your goal in the time frame you planned earlier. But this is about respecting your choice and self-discipline, and we will talk about it later, now it is important to deal with our desires.

As you may have already realized, there are some desires that require only money. These are, as a rule, the purchase of household appliances, real estate, vehicles, and any material goods that make our life more comfortable and pleasant. Let’s put them in the first category of complexity. We will assign the second category of complexity to desires that require not only money but also time. To the third category we will refer complex desires, those for the realization of which, in addition to money and time, we need additional conditions.

So, let’s look at a situation where you want to buy an expensive apartment or car. You don’t have the money to buy it now. And you are faced with a choice: take out a loan and survive on the remaining money or increase your income and earn the necessary amount. But this is only a choice that lies on the surface. And, as a rule, it puts you in a dead end. After all, you don’t want to take out a loan and at the same time you don’t understand how you can increase your income. Since, if you think about it, you have a good job, where you are slowly but surely climbing the career ladder, receive bonuses, you are valued and respected. And in general, you have everything like everyone else – “work – home – work”. You work from morning till evening, and you need to have time for home and family matters. And you face the question: “Where will the extra income come from?” After all, you have no free time.

The answer, unfortunately, does not lie on the surface, but I will show it to you.

The fact is that we have new desires and needs in our heads all the time, and as a rule, they are layered on top of each other. Today we may think that we need to go on vacation to the sea, as our acquaintance did. Or buy a new cell phone, as our coworker did. Or change your car because you had trouble starting your car this morning. Or buy new clothes because you felt like updating your image. Or join a fitness program to lose weight for the summer season, and so on.

Just look at how long your list of needs is. And it’s constantly being updated every day. Thanks to the ubiquitous advertising.

So what are we supposed to do?

You need to take a pen right now and write out all your desires on a piece of paper. Make your list of wants and needs. Free your head, let all your desires be on a piece of paper.

Now look at that list. What do you see?

Could this be a typical consumer’s set of wants?

If you try to estimate, they will almost all fall into the first category of complexity and will only require money to realize.

“What does that mean?” – you ask me.

I’ll tell you.

This means that you either think like a typical consumer or you are currently in a state of poverty. You may be in a very difficult financial situation indeed, or you may be in the habit of buying new things in order to feel happier and more important in the eyes of others. Which, in turn, suggests that some of the desires on your list are not yours, but your environment’s.

Of course, all of these options are undesirable, and they are a problem that can and should be fixed.

This chapter I have titled: “The Right View of the Situation.” And it’s for a reason. It is the first thing you must change about yourself. Namely to realize a simple truth: if you were not born into a rich family, you will have to turn on your head to earn a decent living. And the sooner you start, the better it will be for you.

If you are in need of material goods and your income does not allow you to buy them, then you have two ways to solve this problem. The first way is to start earning more, and the second way is to give up the desire to make expensive purchases.

But even after becoming a rich person or being a rich person by birth, you will also constantly want something new, something exotic and unusual. And a large amount of money will only aggravate the situation, as your mind will be intoxicated by your financial situation and will not be able to “soberly” assess the need and expediency of these costs.

And in order not to become a hostage to your “wants”, which you have now indicated in your wish list, you need to think about what exactly will give (bring) this or that thing. What need will it close? What emotions will you experience and how long will they last? Will you become happier?

Now let’s dig deeper: are you ready to spend money on it? Are you willing to work for a month or more to buy this item?

Let’s go further: what happens if you don’t buy this item? How much will your life change? Will you become less happy?

And finally: do you think maybe that money is more important to invest in something else? Which is more important to your life at this time.

Typically, after these thoughts, more than half of the desires dissolve with a heavy exhale and the phrase, “Eh, sometime later…”

Yes, we all have a big wish list. But our main problem is that we don’t filter them. I suggest that we learn to filter all our desires according to a special principle.

The main task of this filter is to determine the degree of importance of the desire for our life. What needs this desire closes. What new opportunities this acquisition opens for us. And what will be its usefulness and efficiency in operation.

Now I propose to divide your desires into groups.

Group 1. The most important wishes. Your present and future depend on their fulfillment. As a rule, these are strategically important decisions. For example: to get married, to create a family, to give birth to a child, to move to another city (or country) to start a new life.

Group 2. Investment desires. These are desires that will potentially improve our life, first of all – materially. For example: to buy real estate, a car in order to get income, to get higher education, to learn a foreign language, to change a profession, etc. Where the results from the work done you will get in the future.

Group 3. Professional needs. These are all the wants and needs that directly affect our professional activity. It may be the need for new tools for various jobs and repairing machinery. Or a new suit for business meetings and negotiations. These are all things that will affect your professional activity and the level of your income.

Group 4. Creativity. Many of us have desires related to the realization of our creative potentials in music, painting or literature. People often save on this. Since it is a hobby for them. But my opinion is that it is better not to save on it. Any of our achievements in creativity ennobles us, making our life more full and rich. Sometimes it is enough to buy a guitar or a canvas with paints to become much happier and thus get a fascinating leisure time and a break from the daily routine.

Group 5. Tourism and travel. Some people have a great desire to visit all the countries. Or to go to the sea every summer. And to realize these goals you need money, time and health. As a rule, no one will not refuse a vacation at sea. But provided that it will be done not on the last money.

But it is not necessary to spend a lot of money, buying vouchers to popular countries. You can travel independently, in those places that are near you. It is not necessary to go to the sea, our nature is very rich and diverse. Real travelers, going on a trip, first of all choose a place where they have not been yet. They are interested in discovering new places, new landscapes, getting acquainted with another culture and local attractions.

Also, winter and wellness tours should not be forgotten. Where there are a lot of beautiful ski slopes, peaks that you can conquer. Not to mention sanatoriums in picturesque places with clean air and medical procedures.

If you think about it, you can travel all year round. And it is great. Every trip is an adventure that can energize you for a long time, discover something new and make new acquaintances.

Group 6. Useless desires. These are those desires that do not fall into any of the above categories and can arise in your head daily and spontaneously. You see something and suddenly you want it. For example, an advertisement on TV about a new phone or a friend bragged about a purchase. It can be a desire to eat in an expensive restaurant or buy a new handbag, even if you have them already full in your closet, but you have not yet had such a one. In general, these are ordinary consumer purchases that we might not make. But during our temporary mental clouding, we spent money on them. And the worst crime of all is if you purchased them on a credit card.

Now that we have a filter, I suggest we categorize all of your desires that you previously wrote down.

Notice how many wishes will gather in the sixth group and how many in the first and third groups. The difference is enormous. I would like to point out that you are not alone. In most cases, all the people in your environment will have a similar picture.

So, what does the filter give us?

First of all, it gives us an opportunity to look at our needs from the outside. It gives you the opportunity to think about the necessity of this or that thing.

Secondly, it gives us a choice. We can and should choose what to spend our resources on. After all, money is limited, and we earn it by spending most of our lives on it. Consequently, we pay for every purchase with time spent at work.

Now that we understand how to work with our desires, how to filter them and determine their importance and value, we can be more discerning in choosing our desires.

Now, based on your wish list, let’s think about the following questions:

– Is the whole point of our lives to buy some things, spend money on entertainment and satisfying our egos? Our ambitions and “wants”.

– Do we live to consume? Is that our main goal?

– Does shopping alone make us happier?

Just think about it. How we are shown through advertisements and movies the image of a happy and successful person. Based on these images, people have a concrete idea that a person without money cannot be happy and successful. He must have an apartment and a car bought with a mortgage. Must necessarily use credit cards and buy food products that are not healthy. Not to mention what images of father and mother are laid down by modern TV series. Where aggression and brute force is an indicator of a person’s toughness, lying and betrayal is an effective way to achieve their goals by stepping on the heads of family and friends. Which, in turn, indicates that “man is a wolf to man”. And as a whole, in the end, everything comes to the fact that a person does not need to think for himself, because everything has already been thought out for him. And this situation is really very sad, because it leads to degradation of whole generations, turning a free-thinking person into a weak-willed consumer of the system. Frankly speaking, I am even afraid to think what awaits mankind in 50 years. After all, during this time, old-school people will pass away, who still remember the times when there was no Internet, how people valued a piece of bread, their word, loyalty and friendship over a hundred dollars. And women then married not for money, but out of their love. But all this is no longer fashionable, now we have a price for everything. And everything can be bought, at first glance, if there were money. But if there’s no money, what then? Think about it.

Yes, money is a key resource in today’s world, but does money itself make you happier? It’s just shredded paper that we exchange for specific goods or services. And it turns out that we don’t even need money itself, but only what we can buy with it.

Considering the fact that in their time people chose the urban way of life and traded their houses with farms and land for small apartments. Choosing their own way of development towards division of labor. And thereby creating the situation in which a person simply needs to work in the city to buy food and provide for his life. However, initially they went to the city for work, because it was there that modern industrialization took place. And people were needed in factories and plants, and at the same time the accompanying enterprises to organize the life of the city.

And we must admit that people went with enthusiasm, it was something new and interesting for them, and there they could realize themselves in a new capacity. And we can safely say that this became their destiny, their new meaning of life. As they felt that they were doing it for the benefit of the development of their homeland and humanity as a whole.

Nowadays, the modern generation does not tend to go to work in factories and plants, and I think you know it very well. Now it is very popular to be an entrepreneur, blogger, actor, singer, mixed martial arts fighter, showman. People want to be popular and rich. Because of this, as a consequence, there are “air merchants” selling training courses that should make any person a millionaire. On which people get into loans, giving the last for the sake of their dreams.

And it’s all on the surface, in every news feed.

Of course, when young people start comparing themselves with their peers from social networks, they may experience internal dissonance, as if they already have everything and I have nothing yet. And they start to want to be like them, doing sometimes crazy things.

But thank God, there are normal people who look at this circus of vanity with a critical eye, realizing that it’s all a show for the sake of some views, likes and the pursuit of fame.

And if we look at it all from the point of view of common sense, we get the following picture.

It is very difficult for a modern person to find motivation to get a job with low wages. And even more so to go to study for a working specialty after school.

Not to mention doctors and teachers who spend five or six years in training to work with below-average salaries. But there are such people.

You probably have never even thought about it, why a person goes to study not for a lawyer, not for a programmer, not for an accountant, but for a specialty that is not popular and low-paid.

– Maybe they just didn’t pass the entrance exams for popular specialties?

– No! That’s not it.

It’s just that these people, unlike others, made their choice not on the basis of future salary, but on the basis of their beliefs. Namely – on the basis of their inner conviction in their destiny in this life.

They realized even then, at school age, that they did not see themselves as anything else but to become a doctor, a painter, a sculptor, a teacher, a machinist, a scientist, a military man, a policeman, a fireman, a builder, a cook, a pilot, and so on.

You know what I mean? That’s what set them apart from everyone else. They knew at an early age what they wanted to be.

And if you ask them years later if they regret having chosen such a profession, they will firmly tell you – no. Even though they will not have expensive apartments and cars, these people will be happy, because they live by doing what they love. And this self-realization brings them great joy and the feeling that they are in their place.

Agree that it is very important when a person finds himself in this world, when he finds his place in it. When he understands what his destiny in this life is. And how he can self-realize himself.

And at the same time, look at those who chased after money, studied for a specialty that he does not like, and in the end, after some time, having worked in this profession, they quit this job and start looking for themselves. And most of them end up working in the trade or service sector. For someone this situation can evolve for the better, and he will become a successful entrepreneur, but most of them will not be able to realize their potential one hundred percent.

The trouble is not even that someone gets higher education for the sake of a diploma, but that they choose their life path by looking at others and putting other people’s opinions above their own. And, as a result, a person experiences a lot of disappointments in their life.

The conclusion of all this is that you should not choose your profession by salary or by the opinion of friends and relatives. You need to choose with your heart and soul. And then you will have more chances to realize your potential.

Destiny

One of the most important tasks, in my opinion, is to find yourself in this life, to find your place. Where you will be needed and in demand for your skills and capabilities. If a person succeeds in doing this, his life will be harmonious and creative. And most importantly, it will be filled with meaning.

It is clear that the more our familiar world changes, the more difficult it is for us to orient ourselves in modern realities. But even in new conditions we have to look for our destiny. Sometimes we do not even need to do anything for this, life makes a choice for us. Or we make this choice unconsciously.

In general, the concept of destiny is a bit like some pre-written program. Or we can say that it is fate. Or to be more precise, that a person is destined by fate itself.

But if you look up the definition of this word to better understand its meaning, you will find that this word has synonyms: purpose, function, mission, role.

It turns out that each person has some personal role to play in this game called life. And then the question naturally arises – how to understand what your role is? What is your mission?

Of course, our work can be our mission, especially if it is highly specialized and connected with other people. Agree that not every person can become a surgeon. Since there must be a predisposition to this profession, a certain mindset and even talent, where are we without it.

And in general, I would single out one attribute that would say that your work is your calling. And this is success, expressed in the recognition of you by the people around you, your achievements and skills. And it does not matter what kind of profession it is, it is only important that you were able to become a professional in it.

But it happens that a person changes his job every year without finding something to his liking, and eventually becomes an entrepreneur. Sometimes such people turn out to be pioneers and innovators who create new trends and become market leaders.

Besides our work, there is also our family life, where we play our role. And this role must be fulfilled with dignity. First we are children, then we become parents. And how we fulfill our responsibilities, how we raise our children, will determine how they will treat their children, not to mention how they will take care of you when you are older.

And overall, one might think that our common purpose is the evolution of humanity, where we pass from ignorance to knowledge and pass the baton to the next generations. While experiencing our unique lives, receiving our challenges and our rewards. And the most important thing from an evolutionary perspective is the experience and knowledge that we can pass on to our children.

And so for many people, especially women, 80% of the time their destiny will be to start a family and raise children. Because without the continuation of the species, all our achievements will become meaningless. For whom will we do our best then? And to whom will we pass everything after our death?

Our purpose, among other things, is expressed in our actions and deeds. And they, in their turn, originate from our intentions. Therefore, it is worthwhile to look for your destiny from your intentions. If your intentions are based on the desire to help people and do good, they will lead you to the path of a decent person, and you will certainly find your place in this world, because those who want to help others are always needed by society, and society always rewards them generously for this. But if your intentions are to satisfy your lowly needs at the expense of others, you will meet people like you, with the same consumer qualities. As they say, “like attracts like”.

And given this fact, I advise you to first examine your intentions from this angle, and perhaps the root of your problems was hiding in your intentions. If you find in them elements of greed, self-interest, envy, revenge or any other negative form of energy, then you should reconsider your intentions. And change the vector of direction of your energy.

After all, it is far from a secret that people feel when they are cheated, used, betrayed or envious. Even if they do not speak about it directly to their face, they always try to keep away from communication with such people. Since all thoughts and intentions of a person are visible to other people, whether he wants it or not. This can be expressed in any little thing, from a sly look to a casually dropped word, which will give away the sincere intentions of a person.

There is also another peculiarity of our interaction with society, from the point of view of a particular individual. Namely in the mirror effect. Where society is a mirror that reflects the whole essence of a person’s intentions and ego.

And if a person is full of negativity, this negativity will only increase, reflecting in people who surround or get in his way. Here the words from the Bible involuntarily come to mind: “And it will be recompensed to everyone according to his faith and according to his deeds”.

If you ask me: “How do I know if I have found my destiny?”

I will say this: once you find your destiny, you will receive a great influx of strength and energy. You will feel joy that will fill your heart and your whole body with its warmth. Your mood will be high, regardless of your surroundings. It is like the feeling of falling in love, which is exhilarating. But unlike it, this feeling doesn’t blind us or make us stupider than we are, on the contrary. You get clarity and understanding in your head about what you need to do and how to do it. You get into your rut, which leads you to success and self-actualization. You are no longer interested in doing other things. You think only about your main business. And that’s your life’s work. And as a consequence, all your desires will be connected with it and its realization.

And of course, you should not forget about your inner voice, if you are on the right path, it will immediately inform you about it. And everything around you will help you. There will be people who will help you at the right time, the right events and resources will turn up. And luck itself will be your faithful companion, you just need to get into your rut of life.

Therefore, you should take the choice of your profession seriously. It is important to choose a profession according to your heart, not according to your salary. No matter what other people tell you. Your choice should be yours

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Примечания

1

A sophism is a false statement that nevertheless appears to be correct upon superficial examination. Sophism is based on a deliberate conscious violation of the rules of logic.

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2

Inductive reasoning – inferences or deductions made from the particular to the general.

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