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TALES ofGHOSTS


		Π Ƞ Ǡ 
		About LOVE and DEATH from the LAND ofMISTS

		  蠫  
		acollection ofshort storiesinthe PLAYING ANOTHER REALITY series








		   :
		the winner ofthe following literary competitions and awards:

		 ۻ 2021.  
		SHADOW ofaBIRD2021afterEDGAR A.POE
		&
		Π 2021.  
		CASE 2021inAlfred HITCHCOCKnomination
		    ,
		  ,2021
		Moscow City Organizationofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia,
		& Literary Republic

		  ջ....  ..
		TALES for ADULTS2022afterE.T.A.HOFFMANN & H. Chr. ANDERSEN
		 ᠫʻ,2022
		Open Literary Club Response,2022

		 ϻ
		LITERARY OLYMPUS
		  ,2012
		League ofWriters ofEurasia,2012




Π / About theBook



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 ():https://youtu.be/L4Oyw98pgaM (https://ridero.ru/link/hA2DuO4cYKOd1Y)



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   / Original edition inRussian:

 , ISBN 978-5-0056-2207-5, .:  , 2022. 442.,.

Amazon[1 - www.amazon.com/dp/B09VPLD7NL], Ozon[2 - www.ozon.ru/context/detail/id/521736778/], Litress[3 - www.litres.ru/aleksandra-kruchkova/skazki-prizrakov-premiya-imeni-edgara-po-igra-v-inuml? sku_id=12000027744867970], Wildberries[4 - www.wildberries.ru/catalog/69501325/detail.asu/], Aliexpress[5 - aliexpress.ru/item/1005004015033225.htpx]








TALES OFGHOSTSis acollection ofmystical and philosophical stories about various ghosts and the Otherworld, the sense oflife and death, the tragic turns offate and the search for mutual love, the importance ofbeing yourself, listening toinner voice and not postponing anything for tomorrow. The book includes the cycles: Love Me Now!, The Master ofFates, Restless Souls, Nostalgia for the body, The Land ofMists. Edgar A. Poe, A. Hitchcock, E.T.A.Hoffmann, H.Chr. Andersen awards.








Booktrailer:https://youtu.be/L4Oyw98pgaM (https://ridero.ru/link/hA2DuO4cYKOd1Y)



KRYUCHKOVA Alexandra, Honored Writer ofthe Moscow City Organization ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia, interpreter, is alaureate and winner ofinternational literary awards: Heritage, Book ofthe Year, M. Bulgakov, F. Dostoevsky, A. Saint-Exupery, O. Wilde, E. Poe, . Castaneda, etc. Author ofthe bestseller The Book ofKnowledge inthe Playing Another Reality series. Being astudent ofthe legendary R.A.Mansurova, she took part inexperiments on time, space and hidden human resources. Nominated for Nobel Prize Award inliterature 2023.



Edition inEnglish /   :

Tales ofGhosts, ISBN 978-5-0056-9222-1, 2022, 432pages.



Amazon[6 - www.amazon.com/dp/B0BDFVDRJ2], Ozon[7 - www.ozon.ru/product/tales-of-ghosts-700502720], Litress[8 - www.litres.ru/alexandra-kryuchkova/tales-of-ghosts-playing-another-reality-edgar-allan-p/], Wildberries[9 - www.wildberries.ru/catalog/120458194/detail.as-p/], Aliexpress[10 - aliexpress.ru/item/1005004708362258.htpx?]




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   1(194), 2022,   -,   .

https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30279

http://detira.ru/arhiv/publication.php?id=30279

https://magazines.gorky.media/ra/2022/1/aleksandra-kryuchkova-skazki-prizrakov.html









D.Nemelstein, About Love and Death from the Land ofMists


The book ofphilosophical and mystical stories byAlexandra Kryuchkova Tales ofGhosts (about Love and Death from the Land ofMists) is like ajewel box: each page contains something unique, but, trying the stories on, the reader will surely find his own! Even those, who are not burdened with apassion for mystification and take with skepticism talk about the Other World, will be charmed bythe meanings, skillfully woven bythe author into the fabric ofafascinating narrative. These stories not only reflect ahigh degree ofwriting skills, they radiate the Light ofhidden wisdom and are filled with Divine Love.

Oddly enough, Imet the author ofTales ofGhosts during the poetry seminar ofEugeny Rein[17 - https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__]at the 2012Booker Laureates School inMilan, where, as aresult, E.B.Rein announced Alexandra Kryuchkova the winner inthe poetry class with the award ofSergey Yesenin Golden Autumn order decoration and acertificate for free edition ofher book from the Moscow City Organization ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia. Inthe same place, inMilan, Alexandra was also marked inthe prose course bythe writer Victor Erofeev[18 - https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__], who singled out for the seminarians her novel The Book ofSecret Knowledge, which opens the authors Playing Another Reality series.

Tales ofGhosts harmoniously complement the series. The idea ofassembling these stories into abook is admirable: all the main characters are already ghosts. Having moved tothe Other World, they, together with the author, find themselves inalong and slow queue tothe Heaven Chancellery, located inthe City ofthe Sun, where everyone will be informed about his further destiny. Topass the time and warm the soul, the ghosts light up the fire, throwing into it their earthly lifetime stories. Bythe will ofLord, the author, infact alistener ofthe stories, eventually returns from the City ofthe Sun toEarth inorder towrite down Tales ofGhosts byheart and pass them on topeople.

It is no coincidence that the book consists ofseveral parts. Arranged according tothe principle from Earth toHeaven, it slowly leads the reader further and further into the Subtle World, tothe place where the planet Earth is seen as abarely distinguishable point inthe Abyss ofthe Cosmic Mind.

Part I. Love me now!is acollection ofphilosophical love stories, united bythe regret and remorse ofthe main characters that they could not live for real the opportunity ofgiven tothem Love. The reasons are different, but the result cannot be changed: unexpressed love gnaws the souls, pulls them into the past, where they can never return. Is it possible tomake dreams come true inaposthumous reality? The storyACats Namefrom this collection deserves the highest praise: it is not justtouching the reader wont doubt abit that it is being told by adog devoted toits owner!

Part II. The Master ofFatesare shocking stories about those who imagine themselves tobe God: perverted maniacs and quite on their minds cold-blooded and prudent killers commit crimes without atwinge ofconscience. The authors incredible ability topenetrate the mind ofmaniacs culminates inthe chilling, purely Hitchcock-like storyCranberriesand strikes the reader on the spot, causing him tofear not only the swamps, but also the cranberries!

Part III. Restless Soulscontains mystical stories inthe spirit ofEdgar Allan Poe about ghost apparitions, each one strikingly unpredictable inits plot. The geography ofphenomena is vast: London, Paris, Rome, Prague, Moscow, New York Wherever the ghosts appear inmodern offices or incondemned houses, whether they are walking inthe park near the Louvre or unwinding inaseaside resort inItaly they are looking for an opportunity tocomplete some unfinished situation during their earthly lives, which haunts them after death, or they come tothe aid ofstill alive relatives and beloved ones. The stories are sotouching that they will not leave the reader without empathy: he involuntarily seeks away ofsalvation for the main characters, finding it together with them and for himself. And here is another masterpiece aheart-warming storyThe House bythe Stationabout an abandoned wooden house, inwhich more than one generation ofghosts gather todrink tea, play chess and relive happy moments ofthe past. It is the third (central) part ofthe book that is the doorway toAnother Reality.

Part IV. Nostalgia for the BodyandPart V. The Land ofMistscontain stories ofthe inhabitants ofthe Subtle World: souls not yet incarnated, but preparing for incarnation; disembodied, but longing for physical, as well as stories ofother creatures, for example, like the Black Raven, who serves as aGuardian inthe Land ofMists, and characters offairy tales and other thought-forms. Here the influence ofH. Chr. Andersen andE.T.A.Hoffmann, O. Wilde and A. S.-Exupery is captured, and the pearl ofthis collection, inmy opinion, is the fairy taleWater Lily, bythe way, reprinted three times and beloved byreaders. The storyAGuestexplodes ones mind with atrivial tea-party with Death.

The book Tales ofGhosts includes both new stories and previously published ones (from the books Do You Believe inGhosts? and Water Lily), which received positive reviews from literary critics even after their first publication. The famous poet and writer Alexander Karpenko[19 - https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__] rightly compared Kryuchkovas short stories tothe mystical thrillers ofEdgar Allan Poe (Poetograd, No. 12(113), 2014).

The stories from the book Tales ofGhosts got the following literary awards: Shadow ofaBird after Edgar Allan Poe and Case No 2021inthe nomination inhonor ofA. Hitchcock (the Moscow City Organization ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia, NP Literary Republic, 2021[20 - The newspaper LITERARY NEWS (Literaturnye Izvestia) No. 1112(197198), 2021, The results ofthe literary awards 2021 bythe press-secretary ofMoscow State Organization ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30044 http://www.litiz.ru/arch.html]), H. Chr. Andersen andE.T.A.Hoffman Tales for adults (Open Literary Club Response, 2022[21 - The newspaper POETOGRAD No. 1(397), 2022The results ofthe Open Literary Club 2021 byL. Koroleva. https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30303 http://www.poetograd.ru/arch.html]), Literary Olympus (League ofEurasian Writers, 2012[22 - Encyclopedia Moscow City Organization ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia. The beginning ofthe XXI century, encyclopedic catalog-reference book about the members ofthe Union, ISBN 978-5-7949-0884-8, M.: MGO SPR, 2021 198p.]).

Astriking feature ofKryuchkovas prose is the complete absence ofaline between earthly and the Other Realities: while reading, we sometimes dont even notice that the hero orheroine has already passed into the Other World! And all the characters decisive and not so much ones, romantic and prudent, loving and hating, smart and naive, happy and unhappy, rich and poor have one thing incommon: they are mortal and, basically, suddenly.

The mystical spirit is masterfully matched bythe author with the daily routine and real events ofthe era. Thus, behind the plot oftheThe City ofRainsthere is an ominous panorama ofthe crash ofthe twin towers inNew York on September 11, 2001. The storyStuck Plutois about an epidemic ofcoronavirus. Inthe storyDisembodiedwe hear an echo ofthe Great Patriotic War. The ghost ofawoman, amember ofan intelligence network settled inItaly during the war years, with motherly persistence for half acentury, has been looking for her son, evacuated toSiberia with an orphanage.

The short novelGood Nightrecreates apicture ofthe frantic rhythm oflife and rotation inthe business circles ofMoscow inthe sinister 1990s, when there was ademand for such unscrupulous people as Sackman, who robbed the owner ofafurniture company, and the lovesick Oksana, ready todo anything for money, who easily sold her friend tothe customer ofthe murder.

The image ofMr. Piggins (inthe storyAPhoto film) is also quite remarkable, convex and brightly drawn bythe author with obvious sarcasm. We see astate official, who has successfully moved from the Soviet era into the era ofradical changes: as he received his tips inthe form ofinterest, bribes and kickbacks, so he continues toreceive them. And he will never die, because the Piggins are immortal

It is surprising that many ofthe works gathered inthis book were created byAlexandra when she was ateenager, they are so well faceted. Written inpastel colors, they are lyrical, tender, they contain aslight sadness and anon-childlike understanding ofthe world beauty, inwhich Divine Love prevails over everything. Aconsiderable portion ofit is produced bythe author herself, as if she remained tolive on Earth at the age ofateenage girl. However, the character ofherFarewell toChildhoodis right,

Time doesnt exist. It is conditional and relative. You will learn tomanage Time when you realize that it doesnt matter how old you are on Earth, the main thing is who you feel you are

Yes! Tolook at the world through childrens eyes, being an adult, is agift from the Creator. After reading the book, one gets the feeling that the author is constantly and intently watching his characters and even the reader! not from the side, but as if from Above, from different heights, now approaching them, then moving away, but never leaving them like aguardian angel.

However, answering the question Do you believe inghosts?, Iwill quote the wiseALetter from the Astral Tablets, included bythe author inTales ofGhosts,

Certainly, my dear friend inmy life, there have been also other inexplicable cases related tothose who passed into the Other World, but Ishould confess toyou that most ofallIhave always been concerned about the relationship ofliving people, because it is what turns some ofus into ghosts



Dmitry Nemelstein,

poet, writer, historian,

member ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia,

laureate ofliterary awards



The magazine CHILDREN ofRA No. 1(194), 2022, Magazine Hall Gorky-Media.

https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30279

http://detira.ru/arhiv/publication.php?id=30279

https://magazines.gorky.media/ra/2022/1/aleksandra-kryuchkova-skazki-prizrakov.html




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  12(113),2014

https://www.reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=9499

http://www.poetograd.ru/arch.html




A.Karpenko, Do you believe inGhosts?


The lyrical novellas ofAlexandra Kryuchkova cant leave anyone indifferent. They tell about the most vulnerable and fragile thing inhuman destiny the formation and collapse ofrelationship between aman and awoman, about different faces ofthis and Other World life. Kryuchkovas stories are quite small, no more than two pages, but how many experiences fall tothe lot oftheir characters!

The writer uses the effect ofadetective ending: everything, as arule, doesnt end the way the reader expects. The aerobatics ofthe dramaturgy ofthese stories is when one emotion interrupts another and reverses the outcome. Such an inverted outcome sometimes evokes inthe reader directly opposite, overwhelming emotions.

The second and third parts ofthe book are written inthe spirit ofEdgar Allan Poes mystical thrillers. Nowadays ghosts, ofcourse, dont appear inold Gothic castles, but, for example, inthe fashionable offices ofwell-known firms (the storyALetter). You see, they, the ghosts, absolutely dont care where toappear. The surroundings dont interest them at all. As inthe works ofpast centuries, they are spiritually bound tothe premises inwhich they died. Although, totell the truth, Iprefer stories outside the Otherworld APiano, ACats Name, See you Tomorrow.

Without exception, all the short stories ofAlexandra Kryuchkova are written at ahigh artistic level ofnarration and dramaturgy.

Kryuchkovas creative biography is full ofsurprises. She began writing poetry and prose at the age of11. And not just began, because some short stories were included inthe book, which is the subject inmy note. This is evidenced bythe dates under the works. These stories not only entered the book, they took their rightful place init. The old works ofthe child prodigy Kryuchkova, included inher collection, were written bythe hand ofmaster. And they say that there will be no more Lermontovs because ofthe supposedly slow maturation ofmodern youth. However, it is not so! When you read Alexandra Kryuchkovas stories, you dont even think that they were written byateenage girl.

Ithink that such an early maturation ofKryuchkova, as inthe case ofLermontov, is caused bythe premature death ofboth her parents. The tragic orphanhood could not but affect the childs psyche. For Alexandra Kryuchkova, this resulted inagenuine interest inthe Other World. The drama oflife entered her soul early. As inthe case ofLermontov, everyone learned about the prodigy Kryuchkova inretrospect, when she had already grown up and became afamous poet.








Although the stories, presented inthe book, were written byAlexandra at ayoung age, they have not lost their original value even today. And yet, its apity that our country didnt care about its brilliant children inthe nineties ofthe last century. And that Alexandra Kryuchkovas early stories were published only two decades after they were written.



Alexander Karpenko[24 - https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__],

poet and writer



The newspaper POETOGRAD No. (113),2014

https://www.reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=9499

http://www.poetograd.ru/arch.html




  / TALES ofGHOSTS


   

   ,

  








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The author expresses her great gratitude

toall the characters and prototypes ofthese stories,

includingnumerous ghostsand everybody else!








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I.  ! /LOVE MENOW!








The book is dedicatedtoevery reader!

As well asto:my parents, grandmothers, grandfather and great-grandfather, my son Andrey and our cat Josephine, and all KIND creatures and entities!




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0.Bonfire


Iwalked for along time somewhere far away, inan endless thick fog, until Isuddenly came upon aMan.

Im sorry, Iapologized, trying tomove on, but realized there was someone there,too.

Follow me, the Man said.

What do you mean? Iasked.

The queue

What are you queuing for?

Everyone gets their own.

And how long do we have towait?

The Man shrugged. The queue moved alittle further. Ibegan todistinguish some voices.

Do you know what is there? Iasked.

Idont know, the Man replied indifferently.They say, there is the City ofthe Sun beyond the fog. However, not everyone can reachit.

Are you from the City ofthe Sun?

Idont think so, the Man grinned. More likely, from the Land ofDreams Dungeon.

The queue moved forward alittle.

So, are you an atheist? Isupposed.

Not anymore, he sighed.

Suddenly, agirl ofabout five years old emerged from the fog. She ran between us and immediately disappeared.

Are the kids inthe queue, too?Iwondered.

Iguess so, the Man replied and shrugged.

The Girl emerged from the fog again, but from the other side. For amoment she stopped next tous and then turned tome.

Theres acat waiting for me there! And who is waiting for you?

Idont know, Ishrugged.

Weird! the Girl said thoughtfully. There must be someone waiting for you! If there was no one waiting, you wouldnt be here!

Ismiled, and the Girl disappeared inthe fog at once.

Soon we reached abonfire on the side ofthe road.

Well, we can relax until morning, the Man said.

Ashadow ofawoman separated from the fire and approachedme and theMan.

Join us! she suggested.








The Man and Isat down bythe bonfire. How many ofsouls were there? Anyway, Icouldnt count, Mr. Fog clearly didnt want us tosee each other

What are they throwing into the bonfire? There is no wood at all! Iasked the Man inawhisper.

Stories! he smiled.

And you both will definitely tell us yours, too, the Woman smiled, handing cups oftea from athermos tome and my neighbor.

What for tea and thermos?! Iasked the Man, without ceasing tobe surprised at what was happening, when the Woman left for thefog.

Its more familiar, the Man answered calmly.

And at the same moment asad female voice sounded out ofthefog.

He told me, See you tomorrow! Iheard it and regretted Ihad nothing with me towrite down the stories thrown into the bonfire byghosts that night

But if Iever come back









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1.See you tomorrow!


Natasha adored the theater since childhood and went topremieres almost every weekend. Atall, slender, blue-eyed blonde, with an uncommon power toattract men, she had just graduated from the best Theatre Institute and decided todevote herself tothe stage. Late autumn, Natasha played her first major role. Tired but happy, she was walking tothe dressing room, when suddenly someone caught up with her and took bythe hand.

Congratulations! You were great! Sergey, the theatre director, said enthusiastically.

Thank you, Natasha replied calmly. Idont like compliments. See you tomorrow!

Sergey returned home and, as soon as he crossed the threshold, he heard the usual words.

Try walking inmy shoes! Im so tired ofyour nightly returns!

We had apremiere tonight. You knew about it. Ioffered you tocome, but you refused! Natasha was amazing! Areally talented actress. Not what Ithought ofher.

That bitch must have already confessed her love toyou, and you hung up your ears, idiot!

Dont talk like that, he asked wearily.

The theatre became everything toyou! You care as hell for me and our son! You live your own life inwhich there is no place for us! And you appear and disappear like aghost!

Youre wrong, Sergey tried toargue.

Im right! Theatre is an entertainment for idlers, awaste oftime! Lazybones! You adore doing nothing, and the theatre is your shelter!

Sergey silently turned around and walked off into the night.

It was snowing outside. Immersed inheavy thoughts, he wandered along the road, wherever his eyes looked. Hehadloved his family. And his wife, hehadloved. Sergey for the first time realized the gravity ofthe past tense verb! Yes, he had loved, once upon atime, because everything was long gone. Flat cottage flat. Toplant potatoes. Tobuy groceries. Totake them there. Topick up from here. Tofix the faucet. Togive money for afur coat When he tried totalk with his wife about something unearthly, she was completely uninterested. So, he withdrew into himself, and the only outlet for his soul became that small experimental theater he had recently established. The theatre was the only thing that kept him on Earth. He plunged into his brainchild and lived inthe theatre for real. Sergey caught himself thinking that everything had been turned upside down: he was himself inthe theatre, while he became an actor inreal life

Turning automatically tothe right into asmall lane, Sergey reached the playground and sat down on aswing. Suddenly, as if sensing something, he turned around. Behind him, agirl was sitting on exactly the same swing.

Natasha! What are you doing here?

Dont you know Ilive there? pointing out the house across the street, she asked insurprise.

Sergey remembered that he had paid attention during the interview tothe address, indicated inher CV, although said nothing about their shared neighborhood.

Sorry, Iforgot, he apologized embarrassed, but why arent you at home?

Islammed the door outside and then realized tohave left the keys inside. The neighbors are asleep, and its still along way till morning. Im sitting here wondering what todo

Do you live alone?

Natasha nodded. He wanted toask something else tokeep the conversation going,but

When you dont know what totalk about, its better tokeep silent, she suddenly said. Listen, how quiet it is! What stars! Were always running and looking down at our feet. And theyre always up there, so beautiful. They are looking at us Theres the brightest one! When Idie, will Ireach that star?

Yes, you will, surely, but youll become astar inyour lifetime! Why dont you ask me how Iended up here?

And why should Iknow that?

Sergey opened the door lock with the help ofsome iron they had found on the road and returned tohis home, having refused even acup ofthe kindly offeredtea.

See you tomorrow! with bated breath he whispered toNatasha at the door.

And all week they returned from the theatre together, talking about everything and nothing. They seemed tobe on the same wavelength, tocommunicate the same language and tounderstand each other perfectly. However, as usual, all ofasudden, something that would have made Sergey glad just alittle while ago, happened,and

He entered Natashas flat for the first time.

Im sorry tobe uninvited, Sergey said with aheavy exhale.

She didnt seem surprised tosee him indoors and with agesture invited him into the kitchen. Sergey sat down on astool and didnt know where tostart.

Today Idreamed ofmy mother, Natasha turned tohim first and, as always, inacompletely calm voice. She told me tolive here and now.

Today, the doctor told me its cancer.

Tea or coffee? Natasha asked still calmly.

Coffee.

She was standing bythe stove with her back tohim. Sergey came over and put his arms aroundher.

We all will fly tothe stars one day, darling, Natasha said quietly, addressing him as darling for the first time, and added, Theres agreat mystery init, that youll discover soon.

Its funny! My wife started screaming, my friends expressed their pity for me. You are the only one If you only knew

Iknow

Iwould like the rest ofmy time Well, it was hard for Sergey tospeak, and he thought, God, how much ofthe precious time we waste inlife on all sorts ofnothing!

Natasha held out acup ofcoffee.

Ipromise you that since tomorrow, she said slowly and clearly, as an oath, all the following days will be the best ofyour life!

Sergey took asip ofcoffee and smiled. It was achildish smile. Open. Kind-hearted. Happy

At that moment Natashas phone rang. Her friend was leaving for abusiness trip and asked toshelter the black cat for acouple ofdays.

Cats are great! Especially black ones! As long as they dont cross your path! Okay, honey, Ihave togo, Sergey winked at Natasha, putting the cup on the table. And already at the door he stopped and asked again with hope inhis voice, So see you tomorrow?

See you tomorrow! she nodded and smiled.

Sergey left, singing some childrens song. He suddenly felt completely happy for the first time.

They never saw each other again.

That night he was hit todeath byacar while crossing the road on his way home



February 11,1994









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2003




2.Awhite dance Ladies Choice


Ivan invited Inessa toacafe. He was the CEO ofafamous company, and she was just afifth-year student, though, ofone ofthe best universities intheir country.

Im sorry, Idont believe you! Ivan ended their conversation categorically. Maybe infive or ten years

And what then, infive or ten years?

He shrugged his shoulders.

Well, okay! she grinned. Ill become CEO as well, toprove toyou that Im not about your money. And then, if you want, you will find me yourself

And inabright red dress, so beautiful, daring, young, Inessa lefthim.



***


He saw the same snow and agrey, hopeless sky outside the window. It was very cold, although on TV they had promised asharp warming. Ivan was out ofany mood. That used tohappen when the Sun disappeared, and life had made no pleasant surprise for along time.

As usual, being late for work, Ivan started the car, drove through the archway tothe exit tothe embankment and turned on the signals, waiting for an opportunity tosqueeze into the continuous flow. Yawning, he habitually glanced at the billboard and couldnt believe his eyes!

Ivan got out ofthe car, forgetting toturn off the signals, took outcigarettes and lit up one, staring at the poster ILOVE YOU! on the billboard just that inscription and the familiar face ofthe girl inabright red dress! He looked at her, and five years flashed back inthe blink ofan eye. Ivan had turned gray and was no longer the CEO ofeither that famous or any other company, meanwhile Inessa had blossomed

He found her without any difficulty.

Inessa invited Ivan toarestaurant.

Thats how Ibecame the CEO, she summed up, not without asense ofpride. Now Ihave everything. Except for the man Ilove

Ivan couldnt believe her incredible success story.

Lets get married! Inessa said finally.

And where are we going tolive? for some reason he asked, being dumbfounded.

Iwas thinking ofaflat with some veranda on the roof tobuy. Do you remember tales about Carlson?

The haunted roof? Ivan smiled.

Surely, why not! Inessa laughed. Where do you want it, here or inEurope? Or would you prefer acottage?

An uninhabited island, he smiled again. And aprivate jet as abonus!

Not bad for astart! Inessa was full ofenthusiasm and energy.

Well done, Ivan summed up and sighed heavily. However, Im no longer the boss, and Idont have the funds tomake your life beautiful. Inacouple ofyears youll think, What do Ineed him for?Youll be still ayoung, successful, prosperous lady, andI

Ivan walked her tothe car. The road became askating rink. After asharp warming inthe morning, it got cold again inthe evening.

Inessa was leaving, and he felt that they would never see each other, but at the same time he wanted tosee her again and again.

That night Ivan was overcome byinsomnia. Reflecting on whether he had been right allowing her toleave, he realized that, on the one hand, he certainly liked Inessa alot, and he would like such awoman tobe next tohim. On the other hand if some years before Ivan had looked at her from the top down, that day from down up, just as at her billboard at the embankment

There is something wrong, unnatural about it. Although, perhaps, Isimply wasnt prepared for her crashing down on me as asudden snowfall Ill call her. Tomorrowhe decided.

Ivan didnt want togive Inessa toanyone else. At the same time, he couldnt overcome his fear and call. So tomorrow was postponed for another three days. That night Inessa came tohim inadream, waved her hand with abitter grin and silently disappeared into the mist.

Inthe morning, after listening toThe subscriber is temporarily blocked,Ivan dialed her office number, thinking about the best way tointroduce himself tothe secretary so that she would connect them instead ofanswering something like, She is busy, call back later!

However, the secretarys answer was unexpected.

She leftus.

What do you mean? Did she change job?

Adead car crash three days ago.

She was gone, but for along time, every morning and evening, when Ivan left for work and returned home, on that very poster on the billboard at the embankment, Inessa met Ivan and saw him off, smiling and repeating, ILOVE YOU!

He saw the same snow and agrey, hopeless sky outside the window. It was very cold, however, on TV they no longer promised any warming.



December2003




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1994









3.God, Barsik and Borsch


Three women were talking inahospital room. One ofthem, Lyudmila, ayoung and beautiful girl, had just been brought inbyambulance for an urgent surgery under general anesthesia. Lyudmila settled down on the bed bythe door and didnt even bother toput out the things, hastily gathered at home, leaving the packages at the bedside table.

Dont worry, Lyudmila, Galina, already operated on, encouraged the girl. Everything happens tous once for the first time! My first anesthesia was like adream without dreams! Nothing interesting! And the second one Irelaxed, Ithought, Iwont see God, and thank God! An-no! Imagine, Ifound myself flying at ahigh speed inadark corridor, like inapipe. As soon as Inoticed the Light at the end ofthe corridor at the most interesting moment! they woke meup!

Idont remember how many times Ive been under anesthesia, said Valentina, whose bed was located right bythe window. Each time it was some kind ofanew experience. Yesterday Ifelt as if inreality. There was alight, but such amuffled one, and some voices were heard. Were they calling me? Maybe. The grass inthe field was fresh and bright, ofemerald color, there were alot offlowers and beautiful butterflies there. Ifelt so good, so easy, walking across the field into the distance. As if inmy childhood, with parents nearby. Iraised my head and saw them waving tome and saying, We love you. We watch you from here, and we know everything about you, and well always help you!

Why on earth didnt you stay inthat Paradise? sighed Galina. Anyway, its easier there than here!

It seemed tobe aborder there, Valentina replied. Right inthe fields. An invisible one. As Ireached it, Ijust couldnt go further, thats all.

Ibelieve neither inGod nor inLight, Lyudmila said smiling. Even if amillion people swear on the Bible. Iwill never believe it, until Isee it myself!

After the surgery, which was asuccess and didnt portend any complications, anesthesiologist began towake Lyudmila up, but she remained unconscious. Her heart slowed down and stopped. The girls face expressed neither sadness, norpain, nor joy. It was mysteriously beautiful inits unearthly calmness. The anesthesiologist ran out ofthe room for the resuscitators. Lyudmilas roommates remained speechless.

An Angel appeared inthe room. Lyudmila, sitting byher body on the edge ofthe bed, involuntarily smiled.

Wow! So, do angels exist?! Have you come totake me away?

Hello, my soul! Infact, everything exists, both real and once imagined byhumans. Now you will be taken tothe intensive care unit and returned toyour body.

Oh, no! exclaimed Lyudmila. Ifeel great here! Isee no reason toreturn! No one needs me on Earth, and Im completely un-adapted tolife! Everything fell out ofhand! Iwas always approaching some goal, step bystep, and bang! at the last moment! the world used tocollapse!

Every soul has its own mission on Earth. If you dont complete it, you wont be able tocontinue your journey inHeaven.

And which one is mine?

Just toserve God and people.

Toserve? What do you mean? Lyudmila asked, having understood nothing.

One day you will be afamous nun. Right because you are un-adapted tolive as common people.

Me? Anun?! Lyudmila cringed at the mere thought ofit. Are you saying that Iam not destined tofind earthly love? If you promised me now that Iwould become the happiest woman inthe world, Iwould probably return! But tobecome anun?!

ADemon showed up inthe room.

Lets go! he smiled, holding out his furry paw toLyudmila.

Where? the girl involuntarily moved closer tothe Angel.

Where? On Earth, ofcourse!

Have you both agreed beforehand?! Ive already told that Im not going back tomy body tobecome anun!

No, no! Come on! Not toyour body! And Im not about the nun! the Demon chuckled. Lets move into abum!

Ahomeless bum?! Lyudmila cried out, mentally picturing herself freezing inthe slushy mud on the street outside the grocery shop.

But you dont want tobe anun! the Demon laughed.

The resuscitators rushed into the room and took away Lyudmilas body, while her soul with the Angel and the Demon followed the body tothe intensive care unit tocontinue the conversation there.

Listen, Valentina, Galina turned toher neighbor, our unbeliever must have seen the Light! She liked it there, inParadise, so much that she decided not tocome back! Oh, thank God, Ididnt get toParadise yet! Imight have been afool tostay there, since Ihave four grandchildren, they will be lost without me here! Who will cook my borsch for them?

Valentina sighed, silently nodded inresponse and looked out at the street through the dusty hospital window.

She had heard the conversation ofLyudmilas soul with the Angel and the Demon, though she hadnt seen them inthe room.








Valentina had no one left on Earth long ago, except for the red puss Barsik she had saved last winter.

Perhaps serving Barsik is my mission on Earth. Isnt Barsik the reason Iam still alive?Valentina pondered. Or maybe serving the Barsiks? Iwonder how many cats Icould save during my life, while Isaved only one How is he now, without me? Does the concierge remember tofeed him? Probably, he has already broken afew pots offlowers, my little prankster!

Valentina smiled, and she wanted toreturn home as soon as possible toexpress her love and gratitude tothe red puss, even if he had nothing todo with her mission on Earth



March1994









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012002









4.The Wind ofChanges


The 1


April street, building 77, entranceB,

the 5


floor



Iknew that address byheart, having worked for over four years as chief accountant inthe office ofasmall company, located there. The company, which Iloved very much, became my almost second home, but it was going through hard times, if not tosay its last hours. The Swiss owners postponed until Monday the release ofthe already taken decision on liquidation, that would start thepainful process ofdividing assets, including money, ofcourse.

The working day was already over, but the financial director, George, and Iwere sitting inhis office enjoying amelon.

Well, tell me, Arisha, have you been conjuring? George asked, referring toour future.

Yes, ofcourse, Imuttered grudgingly, aware ofhis skepticism.

What way this time? Solitaire or coffee?

You see, cards and coffee, and all that stuff are just kids play if theres nothing behind. The Subtle World is called so for being immaterial; its door cant be opened with earthly keys only, such as cards or coffee. If you cant read signs, feel with your soul, hear your inner voice, no cards will be useful.

Well, okay, lets say so. What are you feeling right now?

AWind ofChanges.

Good or bad?

Cardinal ones!

Anything more specific? Will you finally get rid ofthe fear ofgetting fat after childbirth and agree tobecome my wife?

Olga is coming, cut her apiece ofmelon, Isaid calmly, not reacting tohis skeptical jokes.

Inacouple ofseconds, there was aknock on the door, and acheerful and blooming Olga, the HR manager, appeared on the threshold.

Hello, friends! she said and took aseat next tome.

From our table toyour table, Ihanded her apiece ofmelon on aplate.

Thank you, Arisha! And Ihave some news for you!

Good or bad? George asked toclarify.

Im looking for ajob If we are going tobe liquidated, theres nothing else towait! Its better toprepare astraw inadvance! So, Inoticed avacancy, published bysome recruitment agency. Infact, as it turned out, they have two vacancies! Olga said enigmatically.

We exchanged glances with George.

Well, its getting more and more interesting! he grinned.

Inbrief, aforeign company with the same sphere ofactivity needs afinancial manager and chief accountant! Olga summed up inasolemn voice.

Wow! Iexclaimed insurprise and exhaled deeply.

Its not just wow! said Olga offended. Its asign from Heaven! Destiny! Where else will you both find such afateful combination towork together further?

Perhaps, George agreed without much enthusiasm. However, Iwould prefer not towork with Arisha, but tolive! Happily and forever!

One doesnt exclude the other! Ideclared. So, Olga?

Yes, yes, Arisha, Im about tosell you both! With giblets! she exclaimed triumphantly. No names yet, ofcourse! Icalled that agency, without specifying our company. Iasked if there was anything for me as well, throwing the fishing rod Well, their HR specialist will contact the customer and let me know the result for you! Ill tell you then! Just dont forget totake me there when you get the job.

Agreed! George promised.

Olga finished her melon and went home. Iwashed the plates inthe kitchen, anticipating the Wind ofChanges, when astrange thought suddenly pierced my mind, and Iflew back into Georges office.

Isnt it strange that another foreign company appeared inour narrow sector, when

Ididnt finish the sentence, as the lights went out throughout the building.

What difference does it make now? George sighed, hugging me gently,but

the front door toour floor slammed loudly, heavy steps were heard, and my heart began beating with astrange premonition, since no one usually was there at such alate time, except for Olga andus

Asecurity guard, probably. Because ofthe electricity, George supposed and decided tomake sure he was right



That evening, saying goodbye and obviously forever tomy almost second home, regretting only that the first one would never see my babies, which Inaturally dreamed of, but constantly put off for tomorrow, because ofmy own complexes and fears (what if it didnt work out, or the child would be born unhealthy, or Iwould really turn into afat cake, and George would start cheating on me), Istopped at the ajar door toOlgas office. She had forgotten her phone on the table, and it beeped, informing about anew message received.

Oh, curiosity!.. Iwent over and readit.



Your candidates are welcome tomorrow at 2pm,

floor No. 5, entrance B, building77,

the 1


April Street.



Oh, my little witch! You were as always right, George grinned. And what Wind is blowing now?

The Wind ofLove, Ilaughed, detaching myself from the situation.

Having drawn, like inchildhood, two hearts pierced byan arrow, with drippingblood, on that date page inOlgas business diary, Itook George bythe hand, and we went out through the window into Heaven, without any desire tothink about who had ordered the death tous



August2002









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2006




5.The City ofRains


It was the other way round: inthe City ofRains we were greeted bytheSun!

We stepped out ofthe express train onto aplatform filled with sunlight.

No one will notice us, theres no need torush anywhere, and we can do whatever we want, Denis said thoughtfully. Its so great tobe absolutely free! Even if for 24hours only.

Yes, Denis! Ifeel the happiest inthe world! Isaid enthusiastically inresponse.

We walked through the City ofRains inthe morning, hand inhand, both ofus with small backpacks, wearing blue jeans, dark blue T-shirts and brown boots, just like the day Ihad got the most important dream. Sometimes we stopped and passionately kissed each other, not ashamed ofpassers-by.

Think about it, Yana, this wouldnt have happened without your dream, Denis smiled.

It was Angel the Guardian! He took me bythe scruff ofthe neck like akitten and poked with my nose inyou, Ismiled back.

We walked along my favorite embankment, checked out the temple, and then came tothe place where girls used toarrive inwhite dresses with little bunches offlowers.

Iwish Iwere here like that, tooIthought.

Ofcourse! Denis immediately read my thoughts. Thats how its going tobe, next time.

We both were not free and owed something toeveryone. It was scary tothink how many people fussed around us, constantly demanding one thing or another, but offering nothing inreturn, not feeling even an elementary gratitude, not tomention respect.

Denis and Ifelt like completely alone beings inthe Universe. Perhaps, apart from children, whom we saw too rarely for various reasons, nothing kept us on Earth.

Until Igot that dream

We went into acafe tohave atalk finally!

Believe it or not, Yana, the world became completely grey, Ilost any interest inlife. Ineither watched TV nor read newspapers or books, Ididnt care what car Idrove, what clothes Iwore, what Iate. Icame home from work late at night and went tobed, and then Ihad breakfast inthe morning and returned towork again. Ididnt want tosee or hear anyone, totalk toanyone

While Denis recounted his life tome, starting from birth, Ilistened tohim realizing that our destinies were so similar that Icould tell him nothing about myself. It seemed strange that for so many years we had been nearby without noticing each other.

Yes, Iliked you, and yes, you were always around, but you looked absolutely happy and never gave me even the slightest hint

Until Igot that dream

We climbed tothe observation deck and stood insilence for along time, enjoying the view ofthe City ofRains, inwhich the Sun was shining.

Ifelt at the dead end, too. The real life was whizzing bysomewhere outside the windows and at breakneck speed. Icould barely keep up with the calendar pages inmy business diary.

Until Igot that dream

Sailing inaboat under the lowest bridges ofthe City ofRains, we were more silent than talking. Astronger and more experienced soul was next tome, and Ifelt calm,but

Are you thinking about what will happen tous after we get back? Yes, Yana? You dont have tothink about anything, Denis answered, reading my thoughts, and hugged me gently and affectionately, stroking my hair and kissing my neck

Inthe evening we wandered along the main street, and Ishowed him not so much the famous sights as miniature sculptures and other inconspicuous little things that only the locals knew about: there was abronze cat and his girlfriend-cat at the balcony level, looking at each other from neighboring houses, and alittle farther, inamodest courtyard, there was awish-fulfillingdog

Iwas afraid that Denis would disappear, that we were still dreaming, and Iwas about towake up, because it all had started exactly inmy dream, or rather, three days before, when Ihad dreamt about us, ended up together inthe City ofRains. Waking up that morning, Isuddenly felt the taste oflife again, and Ifound the strength toretell my dream toDenis.

My dream seemed toawaken both ofus for changes inour destinies, for areal, full-colored and vibrant life. It would have been the starting point ofthe next stage, which could let two kindred souls finally find their happiness

As night returned tothe City ofRains, we found afree suite inthe most expensive hotel, since we could afford it intheend! It seemed that we loved each other as people did for the last time intheir lives, on the edge ofeternal separation, and nothing and no one existed inthe whole Universe, except for the two ofus, as if we were still alive

Returning tothe station for the express train tothe City ofthe Sun, we recalled our last day on Earth, on the eve ofwhich Ihad got that dream. The explosion inthe high-rise office tower, where we worked, came so suddenly that we didnt even realize tobe woken up already as ghosts

Our personal files were stuck inthe Heaven Office ofthe City ofthe Sun. According tothe Creators plan, we should have been married along time ago and moved tothe City ofRains, where Iwas born. Inthat scenario, we would have never ended up inthe tower on the date ofthe explosion.

However, we hadnt changed our lives intime! We had heard neither ourselves nor our Guardians sending all sorts ofsigns! Only on the eve ofthe explosion, when the decision on our return toHeaven had been signed inallinstances, since we had stopped going the path destined for us bythe Creator, Imanaged topenetrate that dream Too late!

Anyhow, the kind-hearted Judges inthe City ofthe Sun, inresponse toour last request, taking into consideration my dream as the extenuating circumstance, allowed us toreturn toEarth inthe City ofRains already as ghosts, tobe together just for awhile before the next incarnation, the details ofwhich were still not awareof



August2006









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2002









6.Awish


We arrived at the river on Saturday morning. It was terribly stuffy, +34C, judging bythe news. Icould hardly stand the heat, thank God, we had air conditioning inthecar.

Life flows as fast as this river, Nikolas said sadly, hugging me. What else would you like todo inyour life, Pauline?

Isqueezed my eyes shut, thinking, and he gently stroked me with aplucked blade ofgrass.

Toget toParis with you! Ifinally decided.

Its amust! But not today

Okay, tomorrow! Ilaughed.

We both had alot todo with the city oflovers, but we had never been toParis together, only separately and at different times.

Maybe Do you know what grandiose plans we have for today? Now well swim, have lunch, then well go for awalk inKuskovo. Giselle is waiting for us inthe theater tonight, and then

Iunderstood that the cultural program was caused byour Mondays quarrel. Nikolas wanted tomake amends. Ihad already told him about Kuskovo not once, and he took his employees for Giselle tocelebrate their company anniversary.

So what then? Iwondered.

And what do you want then?

Having visited the Kuskovo palace and the exhibition inthe Orangerie, we listened tosome fragment ofacharity concert, and on the way tothe Grotto, we stopped at the Italian house-museum.

Drop in, you wont regret it! the hospitable hostess called us. The house is small but very cozy! Ill tell you the riddle ofthe Count Sheremetev. If you guessit

We had tofind three caterpillars hiding inthe leaves on asmall metal tree. Isaw two ofthem at once, but the search for the third was hard. Finally, Ifound ittoo.

Now make awish! Iassure you, whatever it is, it will definitely come true! the woman promised, smiling.

Then well be inParis tomorrow, Isaid inaserious voice and laughed.

We reached the theater and found our seats, the 13


and 14


inthe 6


row. Such adangerous combination of6 and 13 didnt bother me at all. That day seemed tobe one ofthe happiest inmy life!

Finally, we came tothe old and long-empty flat where Nikolas parents had once lived.

We were greeted byan unbearable stuffiness, but Nikolas said it was better not toopen the windows for conspiracy. What if the neighbors got frightened, imagining that someone had entered inside through the window, and would call the police

Im so sleepy! Isaid, yawning sweetly at the thought that it was the first time Nikolas let me stay with him until the morning, instead ofsending me home at midnight, and we would finally wake up inthe same bed as husband and wife.

Lets at least have some tea, honey! Ive bought your favorite cakes not for nothing! Theres no electric kettle, though, so well have towait awhile

Inodded wearily, closing my eyes. Nikolas went into the kitchen, and Ifollowed him half-asleep. He stopped bythe stove.

Shit, its gas here, and Iforgot where the matches are

Ihave an electric stove at home, too, Imumbled, falling asleep on thego.

Where are the matches, where are the matches Nikolas wondered, humming softly.

Tohell with tea! Lets go tobed, Iwhispered and hugged him, hanging on his neck helplessly.

Iwoke up, looked at the clock on the bedside table, and got horrified! No way Icould have slept that long! Iquickly moved tothe kitchen and found Nikolas standing at the window.

Look, Im sorry! Iexclaimed. Why didnt you wake me up? You said you had an early morning pick-upat

How did you sleep? Nikolas suddenly interrupted me halfway through.

At anew place, you mean? Iwondered, remembering the stupid saying about dreaming grooms inplaces where girls fall asleep for the first time.

Yeah, he looked away, sighing. Did you dream about anything?

Something heavy Iwas suffocating, flying inthe void through ablack tunnel Why?

And there was aroar and rattle inyour ears, Nikolas added sadly.

Yes, it seems so. How do you know? Did Iscream inmy sleep?

What do you feel now? he asked, still standing bythe window.

Im okay! No, not even that! Im the happiest woman inthe world! Tohell with Paris! Ismiled, came up toNikolas and pressed my cheek tohis cheek.

Forgive me, Pauline, he whispered inmyear.

What for?! Iwas surprised.

Ive never said Ilove you. Ilove you.

Something must have really happened if he said that tome!it flashed through my head.

No one will believe it but you, Nikolas sighed somehow doomed, although it doesnt matter much now

Whats happened?

Iwas always afraid ofyour dramatically leaving the Earth beforehand. And yesterday

Ilove you too, Itried toreassure Nikolas, thinking hard about what he was getting at. Ill put the kettleon!

Nikolas tried tostop me with agesture, Istopped only for amoment, asking myselfwhere are the matches?, and then Icame up tothe stove when suddenly noticed that the burner was ALREADY on, but there was NO fire

Oh no! Iscreamed at the thought that pierced me. NO! NO! Not now, when everything is so good! Tell me its not true!!!

Yes, baby, yes, he whispered, heartbroken. Please forgive me, you know Ididnt do it on purpose

Iinstantly found myself at the door tothe bedroom, but Nikolas blocked myway.

No, Pauline, dont go inthere! Its horrible

Islowly sank tothe floor, Nikolas put his arms aroundme.

Its all over now, he said trying toconsole me somehow. Everything will be fine. Youll calm down now, and well go toParis. Weve never been there together before



July2002









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062020




7.Stuck Pluto


Pluto, Lord ofthe Kingdom ofthe Dead, circling around inthe Heavenly Dial ofthe Zodiacal Clock, froze at the Gate tohis own Kingdom at 8pm.

All the men Ihad fallen inlove with inmy life were under Pluto management, and one ofthem had at his birth as many as 5planets between 8and 9pm on the Zodiacal Clock, or inthe Kingdom ofthe Dead. Such an accent gives away serial killers and maniacs, mafia and financial tycoons, and also great black magicians and possibly ghosts

The next day the Sun was going tobathe Pluto inits rays, toilluminate him and turn him on. Astrange premonition ofsomething global, ready tocrash down on me like an avalanche (or tsunami?), neither bad nor good, but shocking, didnt allow me tofall asleep. Inthe morning, when my consciousness finally gave up, two people appeared, as if my guardians, one ofthem was aghost, and the other

The sound ofavibrating phone brought me back toreality.

Michael is dead, said the text message.

Were all going todie, Icalmly typed inreply toan unknown person.

The Sun greeted me through the blinds.

Who made you so cynical, Barbara? MICHAEL DIED.

Which Michael? continuing tounderstand little, Idecided toclarify just incase, suddenly realizing that one ofthe two men Ihad just dreamed about was named Michael.

Yesterday Iran bychance into the guy who had assembled furniture for you. He said that Michael, who had been inlove with you, died.

Aterrible thought and, forgive me God, not at all about Michael, who had appeared tome inmy dream so sweet, kind, harmless, writing music and really loving me from afar, silently, realizing that there could be nothing but aworking relationship between us, flashed through my mind, and Ifinally woke up, jumping out ofbed.

Idreamt about both ofthem Michaeland

YOU?!?!?! Pluto!!! Ishouted at the whole Universe toan undefined number. HOW??!!! YOU ARE DEAD!!! YOU DIED MANY YEARS AGO!!!

Iemailed you last year, you wondered the way astranger had got your address. You didnt recognize me. Maybe you werent ready.

But how???

Have you forgotten how many debts Ihad back then? You said it yourself, its easier todie. No one would have been surprised. Yes, Ijust had todie))) Bymy own! Would you prefer tofind your love killed for real?

Iraised the blinds and the Sun dazzled me. Pluto people, being under the patronage ofthe Lord ofthe Kingdom ofthe Dead, used tosurvive where everyone else met death

Idreamt about you today sinking tothe floor, Iwhispered, remembering how many times inlife we had tried tobe together, but something happened beyond our control, that left no chance, driving us apart, until one dayhe

Great! You never have dreams without sense Something happened yesterday. Idont know how toexplain it. So, theres no need toexplain. Ijust want you tobe nearby now!

Youre aghost, and Ineed areal man! Isaid, still refusing tobelieve inamiracle.

Surely. Ill be inMonte Carlo this weekend. Ihave tosort out some affairs. And next weekend you will fly tome inVenice!

Well never meet, Iexhaled, remembering that next weekend the Sun would stop caressing Pluto, and he would step into his own Kingdom.

There are no options not tomeet, Barbara! Ill be waiting for you on your favorite bridge!

However, the Sun disappeared into the clouds. Some evil stars contributed tothe launch ofamass lethal virus epidemic, and the air traffic between countries was suspended.

The world stepped intothe Kingdom ofDeath through the wide-open Gates.

My airline tickets were eaten bythe fireplace. Italy was inafever. The ghost ofmy Pluto wrote tome several times something like itll be over soon, be patient wait alittle more just about, and then he disappeared

As the pandemic was over, Ileft for Greece and lived on atiny island opposite toMount Athos, not far from the womens monastery ofthe Archangel Michael, not missing asingle liturgy, at which Iasked prayers for the souls ofPluto and Michael every time, until that Sunday when Iwoke up being foggy myself and the first step Idid was atrip toVenice!

God, Iwandered all the bridges, invain! Pluto was nowhere tobe found!

When Ireturned toGreece and settled inthe monastery ofthe Archangel Michael, which had become dear tomy soul, Iwaspainfully looking for the best way tofind the beloved ghost. However, Istill had no access tothe Universal Data Bank, and no stairs toHeaven were observed anywhere around. Icould do nothing but praying.

On the ninth day, right during the liturgy, out ofthe altar gate, so suddenly and quietly that at first Ididnt even believe inhis reality, appeared Michael!

He came up tome, smiling, leaned over and kissed my foggy hand.

Where can Ifind him? Iasked hopefully.

You dont have tolook for him, Barbara. Besides, hes alive

Alive?! Iexclaimed loudly tothe whole monastery, thank God, nuns usually didnt hear otherworldly voices. What atwist! Iprayed for both ofyou as for dead!

God has all alive, dont worry! Your Pluto was seriously ill then, yes, but survived thanks toyour prayers However, since then, all these years, bythe will ofHeaven, hes been inastate tobe able only topray silently byhis soul.

Another blow!

Are you saying that if Ihadnt prayed for him, he would have died along time ago? So, it was me who condemned him tosuffer, wasnt it?!

You gave him achance, Michael smiled, toget something better inthe Other World than what he deserved. One day, when they consider him fit, he will be taken away. You can help the unfortunate Pluto shorten the time ofhispainful stay on Earth bycontinuing topray for him here. However, you have the right toleave for Heaven with me right now.

So, where can Ifind him?!

If you dont have access tothe Information Tablets, then thats necessary for something and exclusively for the good. Well, you have tomake your decision here and now, Barbara. Oh, sorry, Ialmost forgot! Probably, you wont be able tobe together even after

Istaggered The thought ofthe impossibility tofind happiness with abeloved one, even posthumously, inthe Kingdom ofthe Dead, never crossed my mind, neither during life on Earth, nor afterit.

My God, how unacceptably easy we used toscatter our beloved ones, toexchange the warmth ofthe soul for material goods! How stupidly we dont appreciate the opportunity tolove and be loved here and now! Has my Pluto, stuck on Earth at the entrance tothe Kingdom ofthe Dead, rethought his life? And, if so, how many years would it take me topray his soul out?

Iwill stay here Idecided, as Icouldnt do otherwise. Just promise me, Michael, that one day Iwill meet him again on the bridge inVenice, right?

You have no chance not tomeet him, if you want tomeet him, Michael laughed and added, already dissolving inthe sunlight that suddenly streamed through the monasterys windows, although, maybe, not on the bridge and not inVenice



April 06,2020









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2003




8.Kailash


We took ataxi toSheremetyevo airport. The driver turned out tobe acheerful and talkative tour guide. He knew several foreign languages, worked with tourist groups inMoscow and dreamed ofstarting his own business.

Iwill definitely open atour agency! Iam an Aries, and all Aries always achieve their goals! the driver exclaimed optimistically, saying goodbye tous at the airport.

Katya was an Aries,too.

As we entered the airport building, we came upon abookstore. Instantly scanning the contents ofthe shelves, Katya fixed her eyes on some books and pulled my sleeve.

Look, here it is, Kailash!!! Lets buy them all!

Isaw amulti-volume book about the Tibetan city ofGods. Everything related tophilosophy, Tibet and the Unknown mattered much for Katya. Haunted byunusual dreams, mysterious voices and ghostly visions since childhood, she was inthe search ofthe keys tothe great mysteries ofthe Universe. Ofcourse, one can laugh at the otherworldly things, but Katyas dreams came true. And even I, anotorious skeptic, began tobelieve insigns.

Tocarry these volumes? Whats the point? Iobjected. Lets buy them on return.

Iplanned for our vacation toread e-book ofKatya, her thesis on philosophy The Sense ofLife and Death, thus, an extra kilo ofprinted books inmy backpack caused me nothing but rejection.

On the plane, Katya periodically recalled and excitedly shared with me some interesting facts about the mysterious Mount Kailash, located inthe distant Himalayas, about which Ireally knew nothing at that time.

Iwould give alot toget tothis Mountain! Perhaps even my lifetime! They say there is apoint ofconfluence ofparallel worlds there, aportal, do you know? If youre ready, youll be let in! Many people went toKailash, but not all came back! And some ofthose who returned grew oldinstantly! Im sure, Time flows differently there! Mr. Roerichpainted both Kailash and the mountains nearby. He was allowed into the caves where the bodies ofgiants, people ofthe previous race, are still kept! Can you imagine?!

Ididnt understand much ofthe meanings she put into her words, but the girls enthusiastic tirades require encouragement.

Youre Aries, so you will definitely get toKailash! But why should you give your lifetime toseeit?



***


We stayed inavery beautiful hotel, built inthe style ofamedieval castle, inaplace surrounded bymountains, which were growing even out ofthesea.

That day we had lunch at arestaurant on the beach, and Katya remembered me again about her beloved.

Idreamed about Kailash along time ago, inchildhood, and more than once. Iwas standing at the entrance toacave and looking into alarge stone mirror, as if someone had polished apiece ofthe mountain very smoothly. My mother was reflected inthe mirror behind me. Iturned around, but there was no mum there. Iturned back tothe mirror, and she was still smiling inthe mirror

Iwas about toobject toher about the stone mirrors, but at that moment an elderly lady, walking nearby with abowl ofsoup, stopped infront ofus and passed her hand over Katyas head.

The channel is open! she said inaloud voice. And the pillar is up tothe sky! Your soul is so old! Is this the last time you live here?

Katya and Ilooked at each other, and the woman had already gone her own way, obviously not eager toenter into discussions.



***


Ibooked alot ofdifferent excursions. That day we went rafting on the river ofthe 4


level ofdifficulty. Neither me nor Katya had rafted before, and we were promised an unforgettable experience. We had along drive through the mountains inan old minibus, listening tobeautiful but sad songs.

If Idie, will you be sad? Katya asked suddenly and clung tomy shoulder.

What the hell are you talking about! Imuttered.

Now, recalling these episodes, Iwonder why we dont say kind words toour beloved ones, dont support them intheir moments ofsadness. Was it hard for me toanswer something like, Honey, ofcourse, Im going tobe not simply sad, damn sad! Please, dont die!No, on the contrary, Igrumbled!

When Katya put on ahelmet and avest before rafting, she looked like atwelve-year-old girl, although she always looked younger than her years. Iwould like Katya togive birth tomy daughter, but all the time how many years? Iput off the important decision for awhile.

Itook apicture ofKatya against the backdrop ofastormy river and aboat. We signed an agreement that the organizers didnt bear any responsibility for our lives and the like. After the briefing, we bravely rushed into the battle, not yet knowing that inone ofthe rapids, we were going toface, atourist like us had recently died.

The instructors name was Sam. Originally from Nepal, he spoke English and knew afew words inRussian. Isaw Katyas eyes lightup.

Sam, she exclaimed, have you seen Kailash?!

Oh, Kailash! This is agreat mountain near my country! Sam said proudly and looked up at thesky.

At that moment we were surrounded bydelightful landscapes oftowering mountains. And, tobe honest, Ididnt understand, what could be so extraordinary insome Kailash! There were alot ofmountains on Earth! Iseemed tobe the only one who hadnt sung praises toKailashyet.

Our boat didnt capsize inthe end, although two men did fall out ofit.



***


We spent the next two days among the ruins ofancient towns.

Iseem tobe able tofly over tothat column! confessed Katya, standing on top ofanameless hill with the remains ofatemple.

No, no, dont try! Istoppedher.

And people ofprevious civilizations could fly! Just imagine, with the power oftheir own thoughts, they moved heavy stones and even mountains!

Are you talking about Kailash again?! Change mountain! There are alot ofthem inthe world!

Katya pursed her lips inresentment and fell silent, but soon alocal resident approached us, offering aparasailing, and Isent her tofly first over the sea, and then over the mountains.

Katya was an outgoing girl. Yes, agirl

It would seem that her tragic life experience, many times greater than my own, shouldinstantly turn any creature into an old one, however, Katya looked young and remained achild inher soul.

She managed tocombine the incongruous, was drawn toeverything out ofstandard, loved extreme sports and sometimes, as it seemed tome, flirted with death. Katya was not afraid ofit, she was afraid of spiders! Can you imagine? Afraid ofinsects, but not ofdying! Strong-willed and kind, smart and beautiful, that was already ararity, and at the same time completely defenseless, she clearly needed astrong male shoulder nearby.

Probably, Iloved her, but Iwas afraid toadmit it tomyself Iwas afraid ofresponsibility and oflosing my own independence Ineither expressed my love openly nor pampered Katya.

For example, when we went for awalk inthe local evening bazaar, she saw atiny multi-colored onyx pyramid.

Look, how beautiful it is! Katya exclaimed. Pyramids normalize, strengthen and focus energy, turning it inthe right direction! They also translate the earthly into the heavenly! Every pyramid is real magic! They say the whole complex ofmountains around Kailash is acity ofvarious pyramids!

That pyramid cost apenny, but Idefiantly ignored such atransparent hint. Why didnt Ibuy Katya apiece ofher coveted magic? Iwas already jealous ofKatya toKailash with all the fibers ofmy soul and absolutely indifferent tothe pyramids, since Iunderstood nothing inthem. Highly likely, that not bought pyramid, as Ithink now, was my subconscious protest as arefusal toadmit that Katya knew something Ididnt, that during our shared life she had become more well-read and advanced inthe Otherworld, she had grown alot, overtaken me inmany ways



***


Returning tothe hotel after awalk along the sea, we heard asudden shout behind us and looked back. Aman inawhite T-shirt with the logo ofalarge travel company for some reason desperately waved his hands, looking at us point-blank. We froze, and the man ran up tous.

Have you forgotten about our night excursion? he asked Katya.

What do you mean? she wondered.

You bought it from me half an hour ago at the Sun Hotel! the travel agent exclaimed and took out his notebook. Here you are Svetlana!

No, you are confusing something. Im not Svetlana, Im Katya!

Besides, my friend, Ifelt like showing my importance, we are from another hotel, and we are leaving tomorrow morning. So, we have no time for night excursions!

Blimey! Sorry! It means the girl, settled inthe Sun Hotel, is your exact copy!

The man apologized again and left.

Abad sign, Katya said and became gloomy. Copies are met shortly before the death oftheir original. Or beloved ones see the look-alikes ofthose who are about todie.

Come on! You havent seen Svetlana!

However, its no use arguing with women. So, Idecided

yes, it was my decision! thats the trouble! thats why Im still replaying our trip inmy head day byday Idecided tocheer her up! Instead ofproceeding tothe room toget our luggage ready for the trip, Isuggested extending the last night ofour vacation byattending an outdoor entertainment show.

That night, local dance groups made some performance on the territory ofthe hotel. Between dances, fakirs and other magicians demonstrated tricks, involving the tourists. Katya was clearly bored.

Are you dreaming ofKailash? Iasked, barely restraining myself so as not tobe sarcastic.

Anyway, Ineed toget toit. They say whoever walks Kailash around 108times will never come back on Earth! And Idont want toincarnate anymore!

Igot angry and yes, it was me again! when the fakir started inviting those who wanted toget aportion ofadrenaline before going tobed, Ipushed Katya tothe stage.

Kailash will wait! Isaid.

Two guys innational costumes put Katya on the floor and covered her belly with awooden board, and the third one, blindfolded, standing with his back toher, began tothrow knives at Katya, over his shoulder, one byone, without abreak. And they hit the board until another knife, flying by, crashed into the floor, and the one thrown next

Periodically replaying on my internal screen, like avideo, both that evening and our years together, Iblame myself more and more Not for having sent Katya tothe stage, because Ididnt wish her death at all! However, Igot used so much tothe constant presence ofKatya somewhere nearby, that Istopped appreciating such amiracle inmy life, so they took her away fromme

Perhaps it was Kailash itself



September2003









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211995




9.Acanary


Svetlana hadnt been there for ten years, but she went toher old friends party with alight heart and absolute peace ofmind. It was only out ofsimple female curiosity that she wanted tohave alook at Artyom, what if he still lived there and was at home.

He worked for acommercial company then. At first, everything was great, they had clothes and food exclusively from luxury supermarkets, the most prestigious car, and not adacha, but apalace. However, soon abottomless void appeared inSvetlanas soul, and she felt lonely. She loved her husband, who used toleave early inthe morning and return at night, because ofmeetings, negotiations, friends, partners, clients and business trips, and she missed his attention, care and, probably, love. Repeatedly and invain, Svetlana asked todevote more time toher.

You dont understand anything, money rules the world! Artyom used tosay, and nothing changed.

One day Svetlana left him for nowhere, but quickly enough she got agood job, began toearn decent money and tolive no worse than before. She stopped being sad, soon got married again and gave birth tocharming twins. However, at some point, she caught herself thinking that she no longer cared what time her second husband came home, whether he devoted free time toher or not. Negotiations? Okay. Business trip? Okay as well.

They had money, that really managed everything.

Just think about it! Ibecame an ideal woman for Artyom,Svetlana came tothe conclusion, passing byhis doorway, and noticed light inthe familiar window

Artyom opened the door.

Wow! What way?! he said insurprise. Ive been thinking about you alot lately. Comein!

Svetlana entered the room and looked around appraising. Everything was the same: luxury brand furniture, paintings bycool artists Although inacage on the table bythe window she noticed asmall bird.

Ibought the canary not tofeel lonely, Artyom admitted.

Arent you married?

Cant married people feel lonely? My wife with kids enjoy the Canary Islands every summer. And how are you? Ihope your new husband spends more time with you than Idid.

No, imagine. Idont need that anymore. Idont ask him tocome home early so that we spend our free time together Ibecame what you wanted me tobe ten years ago.

What time makes ofus! Back then, Ithought you were too demanding. Iwanted freedom. Isuppose Ididnt know tolove true yet. My second wife is ready tolive without me for her own comfort. Now Iwish she asked me, like you, tocome home early, towalk with her inthe park and go tothe theater, but money is the only thing she is interested in So life made me understand how much Ihad been mistaken Iwould pay much toreturn tothe past and bring you back.

One cant return tothe past because one doesnt have toreturn.

So, you couldnt fall inlove with me again, could you?!

Ihave togo.

They said goodbye and disappeared from each others lives again.



***


Six months later Svetlana found herself inthose places once more, already for business.

Having parked the car, she went straight tothe office building for abusiness meeting, not knowing yet that it would end suddenly and simultaneously with the breath ofher life, according tothe decision ofthe Judges totransfer Svetlanas soul inHeaven bythromboembolism. Chances tochange destiny inorder toremain on Earth are not always given topeople inunlimited quantities, sometimes it even seems unfair that, for example, aworthlessdrunkard lives toaripe old age, while an admirable business woman is recalled prematurely.

Passing byaliquor store, crowded with not quite sober people, Svetlana noticed the gaze ofan unattractiveman.

Hello, said Artyom, approaching her staggeringly.

Ididnt expect tosee you here! Whats happened?

My canarys damn dead, he muttered.

Who is dead? Svetlana asked toclarify the unheard.

My last friend He used towait for my returns home from work He tweeted something inhis own language And he died, unable tolive inour damn family! Now my friend visits me at night. As aghost Do you believe inghosts?

Do you mean your canary? Svetlana asked again, and Artyom nodded.

Run away from money! he whispered inher ear. Im going tospend all Ihave not tospoil my children!

What are you talking about?! Svetlana exclaimed, recoiling from him inhorror and thinking, What ablessing our paths diverged!

Yes, our paths diverged, said Artyom as if reading her thoughts. One cant return tothe past because one doesnt have toreturn However, who knows, if you hadnt left me then, perhaps it would have been you walking inmy shoes now



September 21,1995




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1996









10.ACatsName


She had acats name that no dog could pronounce, but she never smelt like acat, so Ididnt mean her any harm. Iremember her as pretty: kind dog eyes and dark fur sorry, Imean, hair! If you count, as people do, she was young, but dogs dont live that long. Icant say she looked so beautiful for adog like me tofall inlove with her, but for my master it was acompletely different matter! When she was calling, his face suddenly changed, his hands began tofiddle with the telephone cable, and if my master had got atail, he would have definitely wagged it! It always happens tome involuntarily when Icommunicate with those Ilike

They didnt talk for long byphone they made appointments. Idont know why he took me with him, but Iwas glad! Ifound it nice tohave acompany ofgood people, and Iwagged my tail at her for both ofus, me and my master.

Iremember every meeting ofthem. We used towait for her under the trees inthe courtyard. She always smiled approaching us, seemed tobe so happy We walked along the road leading tothe park. They talked about things that, inmy opinion, were not worth talking about. Infact, dogs are silent, because there is really nothing totalk about. Everything was already said along time ago. You have toeither howl when you are sad, or bark when you are nervous, angry, annoyed, if you want toattract attention or rejoice, its your intonation that matters However, people still talk, they just dont understand yet alot ofthings inlife, unlike dogs

Ididnt know where and when they had got acquainted, however, along time before my birth. They used toremember the days they had been together. Despite the fact that all conversations ofthese strange people were limited exclusively totheir Past, there was something that connected them inthe Present.

At first, Icould not understand why they were not together. Imagine my surprise when, during our walk one evening, she took off her gloves, and Inoticed agold ring on her hand! You know what that means, dont you?! And who on earth would think ofsuch anonsense as getting married? Dogs never get married, because its not serious at all! What does aring change? Afew extra grams on your finger! Rings mean nothing inlife, as well as alot ofother things. Thats why dogs dont wear rings. No kind at all. Bythe way, not dogs only, mindyou

My master told me the strangest love story Ive ever heard, that would never happen toadog, thats for sure!

He loved her, as you see secretly! And he never told her about it Well, they used tocall and meet, they wandered here and there, walking around and walking around! But there are alot ofmen among people, and not all ofthem prefer tolove secretly! Someone can call, meet, take awalk and moveon!

One day that someone appeared inher life, met her, went for awalk and offered her an ill-fated ring! Ofcourse, she told my master about it. He was stunned naturally, but he didnt even lift afinger tostop her! How do you like it? It was obviously not awow-wow! but awoof-woof! Inbrief, she never knew he loved her, and Inever understood why he didnt tell her anything. Was he so greedy not tobuy her the ring?

The last time Isaw her, was late inautumn. We met inthe courtyard, as usual, and went tothe park. She looked even more beautiful, but quite sad. Inthe park, suddenly citing tiredness, she sat down on abench. Iwatched her carefully. She was about tosay something very important. For her and for both ofthem. There was an excruciating pause. She was silent. And he was silent. Itried my best tomake her talk. Iwas twirling at her feet, wagging my tail, hypnotizing her with my eyes, and then Icouldnt stand it anymore, and, as aresult, Ieven barked! However, she didnt understand me! She sighed heavily, got up abruptly and said she had togo

We stood outside her house, saying goodbye. She left us forever At first, Ithought he would call tosay he loved her, because he really loved her! Yes, he did. You should have seen at what speed he jumped up from the sofa every time the phone rang, and how hopefully he said Hello!, and how dark he grew immediately, having realized it wasntSHE.

Now, tell me, do dogs behave like that? Once Ibecame so brutalized that Iwalked up tomy master and bit him. He didnt understand why, apparently, and got offended

Itried todo my best toreconcile them. When my master took me for awalk, Idragged him toher house, and we were wandering under the trees ofthe courtyard where she had used tocome out smiling. Itried tofind her bysmell, but remember the winds blowing that autumn! Soon the snow started falling, sweeping away the traces ofthe Past, and winter came. She left us forever. And mind you, without woof-woof

Ihave never understood human nature, and probably Iwill never do. But why people, who, unlike dogs, have the gift ofspeech, are not able tounderstand themselves and each other just tobe happy?



August1996









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311992




11.Comeon!


Iworked at aluxury college as an elementary school teacher. Iwas twenty-five years old, full ofhopes and plans for the future. Life pampered me. Inever denied myself anything and got all Iwanted. Troubles bypassed me, and Ifelt happy.

That college was located not far from the city, at the edge ofabeautiful small lake inapine forest. We accepted children whose parents could pay asubstantial tuition fee for ayear, carried out according tothe usual school curriculum, apart from optional courses and extra-activities, and the children lived there for the whole school year, although parents could, ofcourse, take them home for weekends and holidays. We had very tasty food. The dormitories were furnished as well as luxury rooms ofthe five-stars hotels, just invarious fairy tales design. The pupils used topass their free time playing, going for walks and generally doing whatever they wanted, since almost nothing was forbidden tothem.

That year Iwas recruiting the first class, afraid ofbeing unable tocommunicate with the kids inthe same language. However, Iadapted quickly enough, and everything went perfectly. The class turned out tobe friendly, the children were talented.



***


Before Christmas, Iannounced the PTA meeting, after which the parents could take their children home for the holidays. Returning tothe teachers building inthe evening, Inoticed alittle girl inasquirrel coat who seemed tobe waiting for someone. It was Christina from my class.

What are you doing here? Iasked.

Is my dad coming?

Ofcourse, he is! Go toyour room, its getting late!

Come on, Alice Talk tome! Christina said almost inawhisper, averting her gaze tothe side.

Ididnt know how toreact toher words. None ofthe pupils addressed me like that, and Iwas about toreprimand the girl, but then, looking into her sad eyes, Ichanged my mind. Besides, the Christmas atmosphere was already inthe air: the blizzard had turned the edge ofthe forest into afairy tale, it was still snowing, and the lanterns were winking mysteriously

Go back toyour place, Chris! Irepeated, but the girl didnt move and remained silent, forcing me toadd categorically, Ihave togo, see you tomorrow!

Itold alie, there was no need for me torush, Ijust didnt want tostay alone with her. After walking about ten meters towards the staff building, Iheard her voice callingme,

Alice! You look like

However, Ididnt turn around



***


On the eve ofthe PTA meeting, Iplanned totake awalk along the lake with my friend, aseventh grade teacher, but she was suddenly called byour chief, and Ihad towander alone. As Isat down on the bench, Christina materialized next tome, as if out ofnowhere.

Why are you alone, Chris? Iasked.

Ilike it this way.

Dont you like toplay with other children?

Idont.

Why?

Im not like them.

Iwanted toask why again, but Isaid nothing.

Come on, Alice lets talk, Christina added quietly.

Well-bred girls dont talk like that tothose who are older!

Iwill talk like that only toyou!

Isaw tears inher eyes, however, Id been sickened bycrybabies since childhood.

Thats no way tobehave! Join your friends! Isaid inasemi-commanding voice.

Christina got up silently and walked away.



***


Iheld the PTA meeting successfully enough. When everyone had gone and left me alone inthe office, Christina appeared at the door.

Havent you gone yet? Iasked.

Dad hasnt arrived, she said sadly.

And your mother?

The girl shrugged.

Will you call home? Isuggested.

Come on, Alice

Oh, these familiarities again!Ithought.

Christina dialed some phone number and was answered, but she remained silent and hungup.

Wrong number? Isupposed.

Christina silently left the room. Imade her come back and called totheir house myself. Her grandma answered me. She said that Christinas dad would definitely come tocollege inafortnight, after his business trip. Ipassed that information on tothe girl, but got no response.

Why did you hang up? Iasked again.

Christina got up and silently walked away.

Chris! Ishouted, and she didnt even turn around.

Igot angry and decided tocomplain about the girl toher father.



***


Two weeks ofvacation flew byinaflash, and the kids were back tostudies. Imust admit, my class was excellent! Only Christina made me feel uncomfortable. Willy-nilly, Isaw that strange girl every day. She pierced me with her gaze, Ilost my temper and nagged her about little things. Iknew it was wrong, but Icouldnt helpit.

Finally, Christinas father arrived. He brought her many toys and sweets. The girl didnt want tolet himgo.

Ill come back for you inthe summer, when your classes are over, and well go tothe sea. You love the sea, dont you?

Christina nodded inagreement, and Isuddenly imagined her as an adult she would turn into abeauty and drive alot ofmen crazy!

After the meeting with her father, Christina behaved much better and didnt approached me during her free time. However, the girl seemed tobecome even more withdrawn.



***


One day, when we were singing acheerful (although, tobe honest, avery stupid) song at amusic lesson, Isuddenly noticed that Christina wasnt singing. As usual, she sat at the last desk alone, but with headphoneson

Is she listening tosome music?! What aspoiled girl! What does she allow herself! She can do everything she wants, being only eight years old!

Chris! Iyelled inanger, approachingher.

The girl convulsively clutched something with her small hands.

Give it tome now!

No! she said firmly.

If you dont give me your toy, Ill call your parents today, and you wont be here anymore!

Christina unclenched her fingers inhelplessness, stood up and ran out ofthe classroom intears. When the lesson was over, Iturned on her player, but instead ofmusic Iheard apleasant female voice. Irealized it was the girls mother. For some reason, she had tomove toanother country for afew years, and before leaving, she had prepared that audiobook with instructions for Christina.



***


The academic year was over. Parents were taking their children home. Isat on the veranda ofthe summer building, reading alove story. The next day Iwas leaving for the sea, not yet knowing that Iwould no longer teach there, because Iwould get married and move toanother country.

Someone silently approached me from behind and gentlytouched my shoulder. Iturned around and saw Christina. She held out tome abouquet offlowers she had picked. Ihesitated totake them.

Come on, Alice! she said.

Again?

She didnt answer and sat down next tome.

Do you miss your parents? Iasked, trying not toget angry. Do they often go on business trips?

Thats what they say

Anyway, business trips end sooner or later!

The girl silently shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

Another car drove up, Christinas father got out ofit. The girl threw herself at his neck.

When he came up tome and started thanking me for something, Icouldnt hear anything anymore. Iremembered his daughter ugly behavior: she addressed me like agirl, hung up phone, listened tothe player, and did whatever she wanted. Idont remember what exactly Isaid toher father then, but he listened tome calmly.

Im sorry Dont take offense, miss Flitch! he said sadly, when Icooled down.

He left us alone, inviting his daughter toask my forgiveness.

Forgive me, Alice! Come on! the girl said defiantly coldly, clearly feeling no remorse.

Iabruptly got up from the bench. Christina even asked for forgiveness, addressing me like that! Itook afew steps and heard her voice.

You look like

Ididnt even turn around. Along the way, Iremembered that Ihad left on the bench the flowers, Christinas gift tome.



***


Igot married and went back tocollege on the first day ofthe new academic year topick up some papers. My kids had grown up, but had hardly changed much. Among them, Ididnt see Christina only. My friend, the teacher, said the girl was present on the pupils list.

My friend and Iwent tothe chief office. Ididnt really care about Christina. Ineeded the chiefs signature on my documents. However, my friend asked him why the girl was absent.

Her father is aschool friend ofmine, said the chief. When Cristinas mother died last year

Oh, did her mother die? Iexclaimed insurprise.

Yes. The girl was told that her mother had gone on abusiness trip abroad. Christinas grandmother, my friends mother, liked neither her daughter-in-law nor Christina. So Iadvised my friend tobring the girl here.

And why didnt she come this year?

Christina and her father disappeared

Disappeared?! Iwas stunned.

They went tothe sea and never came back. The police are still looking for them Bythe way, Alice, she was inyour class, wasnt she?

Many years had passed since then, and Idisappeared on Earth myself. However, burning various stories ofmy earthly life inthe bonfire ofmemories, Istill cant let go ofthis one, because every time my fate gave me asad lesson, Iheard avoice, whispering, Come on, Alice!



July2003









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2003




12.On the banks ofthe Thames


London had been achildhood dream ofmine ever since we were told about its sights inEnglish classes at school. Istudied the same sights at the preparatory courses ofthe Ministry ofForeign Affairs, and then at the University. It seemed that even before visiting London, Ialready knew it better than any other city inthe world. Ihad little chance ofgetting the UK visa, so Iput off atrip toLondon tothe last page ofperhaps my last foreign passport. Nobody knows what turn offate has already got the very brick that will suddenly fall on your head, or what else would happen toprevent your vacation abroad.

Everywhere Itraveled alone. Vitaly threw up his hands, as he always had some reasons not tojoin me. However, on Christmas Eve, he vowed that we would definitely go somewhere together within the coming year.

Iworked as the head ofpurchasing department, free ofjob for traveling three times ayear: on May holidays, August and Christmas time; and there were just three pages left for visas inmy passport.

Vitaly traditionally spent May and Christmas holidays with his wife (whom, like many husbands, he vowed toleave, but would have never done so, because he felt pity for her, since she wont survive, and you are strong!), therefore, for our joint trip only August remained.

Knowing my cherished childhood dream, Vitaly told me togo first toLondon, for May holidays, and suggested having arest with him inAugust somewhere on paradise islands. Well, it made sense, didntit?

Ireally enjoyed London! Iwalked it up and down and returned home with afeeling ofcomplete satisfaction. Bythe way, the British had released me amulti-entry visa for six months, but Ididnt see much point ingoing back with limited funds, it was much more pleasant tovisit something yet unexplored!

There were clearly more wonders on Earth than the seven encyclopedic ones, and Iwas already dreaming ofwhere Iwould go for Christmas after August inParadise with Vitaly, as the boss urgently demanded toget me aGerman visa for our business trip toMunich. So, my travel bag got one wonder ofthe world less! And more, Ihad already traveled all over Germany, including Munich, invacation and not during abusiness trip. Anyhow, my negativity reached the ears ofthe Universe: as soon as the Germans granted me asingle-entry visa for five days inJuly, the business trip was immediately canceled bythe very same boss! However, since the stamp inthe passport couldnt be canceled, the penultimate page turned out tobe irretrievably damaged and wasted for nothing! My inner indignation from my own helplessness went off scale, but inthe end, it never came out, because every day brought me closer tothe cherished islands with Vitaly inAugust!

Iscoured the Internet, called all the travel agencies that dealt with islands tochoose the best Paradise for us, and mentally Iwas already rather there than inmy homeland. Having prepared abunch ofbeautiful dresses and bought acouple ofcharming swimsuits, Isigned an application for my vacation, which became more and more problematic every year, because the boss was mutating into aslave owner

And so, acouple ofdays before departure, Vitaly called for me, beaming with anticipation ofParadise, todiscuss our plans inarestaurant. He listened carefully toall my dreams and wishes for the main course, and for dessert he suddenly said,

Lara, Im leaving for London.

What do you mean London?! Iasked, still understanding nothing. And when are you leaving?!

Its abusiness trip toLondon for the whole ofAugust.

Yesterday you said you had agreed your vacation! inAugust! with me! on the islands inParadise!

Yes, but today everything has changed Maybe inSeptember

My boss wont let me go inSeptember! Iwas about todie. As well as inOctober and inNovember!!!

Go alone toParadise inAugust.

Whats todo alone inParadise?! Its only for couples!

Then go somewhere else, Vitaly suggested calmly, which made me furious.

Somewhere else, where is that? Ihave no time toapply for avisa!

Go tovisa-free Turkey.

Oh, Iwished he hadnt even mentioned Turkey tome! Iturned white with anger!

Turkey? Where you have been relaxing with your wife for so many years? So that, lying alone on the beach, Icouldnt help imagining how sweet it was for you both there?!

Lara, darling! Icould tell you tocome and stay with me inLondon, but Iwill work from morning tonight, and youll get bored. Youve just returned from London! Besides, Iwill live not inLondon, but inatown about forty minutes away from London bytrain. Inasingle room at alocal hotel with English breakfasts included only. Ifigured out how much your visit will cost. Its very expensive for you totravel toLondon every day instead ofwaiting for me inabare field, tohave lunch and dinner, plus the extra charge for adouble room. You know how small are rooms inBritain, and the flight is not apenny! Ican neither pay for you, nor let you pay yourself, because its athrowing money away! Bythe way, theres an abnormal heat inLondon now. People are bathing infountains! You say you cant stand the heat. Tocome toLondon for aweek just tostay with me for aweekend, bathing infountains?! Remember, its bad luck tocome back!

Despair overwhelmed me, and tears were ready tocome out from my eyes. Ijumped up from the table, threw my napkin into the bowl ofmy favorite fruit salad.

Ihate London! Ihate it! HATE!!! Ishouted.

Deathly silence reigned around. Everyone froze, including the waiter with acup ofespresso, he was about toput on our table.

Igrabbed my bag and, noticing nobody on the way, headed for the exit.



***


Itraded afortnight vacation inParadise for aweekend with Vitaly inLondon, landing at Heathrow airport on Friday night.

As soon as Iswitched on the phone, the bell rang.

Lara Vitaly said as doomed, Ive been called away totheir office on the weekend Ill come inLondon tosee you tomorrow night, okay?

Itraded afortnight vacation inParadise for one night with him inLondon.



***


On Saturday, around lunchtime, Isadly looked at myself, collapsed into the fountain ofTrafalgar Square at +40C.

People didnt even realize that Ifelt sick from the heat and that Iwas no longer there Ithought, Truly, its bad luck tocome back!

What did Itrade my lifefor?

Can we say that it was Vitaly who killedme?



***


Vitaly died inacar crash at midnight between that damn Saturday and Sunday, almost reaching London. He fell asleep driving

Did he trade his life for anight withme?

No, it was me who killedhim



***


On Sunday we sat for along time on the banks ofthe Thames, making aplan towhich countries we would fly without any visa before disappearing forever



July2003




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301997




13.AGuest


It was raining cats and dogs outside. Agirl inadark cloak with ahuge hood was standing at the door tomy neighbors flat. Her long black curls hid her profile fromme.

He wont open the door for you, Isaid.

The girl shuddered and turned around. She was beautiful. Inparticular, Iremembered the black-night eyes that stood out against her snow-white skin.

My neighbor died yesterday, Icontinued. Poor old man You must be his granddaughter! He said he had been waiting for his granddaughter. What apity youre late! He loved you very much, he was proud ofand constantly talking about you. You know, its important for old people tofeel that someone needs them

The girl sighed, but said nothing inresponse.

Come tomy place, youve gotwet, Isuggested, and she followed me into the kitchen.

No, thank you, the girl refused my tea, Ill just warm up abit and then Illgo

Whats your name? Do you have someone else here, besides grandfather?

No, Idont have anyone, she sighed sadly, even friends.

You are so young and beautiful! You still have alot ahead ofyou! The main thing is not tomake enemies!

Enemies my interlocutor said thoughtfully. Im not as young as you think. You cant imagine how tired Iam ofmy life! Iwork seven days aweek, not aminute torest. Here, for once, Iallowed myself tocome toyou, but then People make up stories about me, they try inevery possible way toavoid me, bypassing, while Im not at all what they think ofme

What do youdo?

Ihelp people. However, Good inthis world is oftenmistaken for Evil, so Iam doomed tohuman hatred. If they only knew how much Ienvy them!

Why?

At least because their life is varied and interesting, its tasty, you know! They can feel it with every fiber oftheir souls and enjoy earthlypleasures tothe fullest! Icant do that. Im not fit Theres no person on Earth who is so lonely! Im tired oflife. Ifeel like arestless ghost who cant die.

Listen tome, my dear! We often curse life and wish we were dead. But when Death suddenly appears on our doorstep, we realize that life is short, and it must be appreciated, because sooner or later Death will surely come for you too

For me? the girl asked thoughtfully.

The dog began howling inthe flat ofthe deceased neighbor.

Poor dog! Isighed. His devoted friend!

Ihave togo! my guest exclaimed and got up. Im already late!

Where are you going now? Iwondered, following her tothe corridor.

The girl looked at the door ofthe neighbors flat.

Iwas there yesterday, she whispered, but Iforgot totake with me his devoted friend



September 30,1997









II.  / The MASTER ofFATES





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Suddenly Ifelt someones gaze on me. Iturned around and saw an Angel.

Hello, Iwhispered. Have you come forme?

Yes, he nodded.

The bonfire stories are still going on, Itried toprotest, as Ifelt cozy inthe fog that hid the faces ofthe storytellers, and Iwas about toshare myown.

Dont be upset! the Angel smiled as he read my mind. The bonfire wont go out for along time, and stories will follow each other until the last soul leaves the Earth. Now you have togo.

Ilooked at the Man. For some reason, Ididnt want tosay goodbye tohim.

Well, go, he patted my shoulder. Ill find you later

Inthe City ofthe Sun or inthe Land ofDreams?

Wherever it is written inthe Tablets, the Man sighed.

The Angel held out his hand tome, and we walked away from the bonfire.

Where are we going? Iasked.

Tothe Chancellery.

What about the queue?Or

No however, there are exceptions toevery rule.

We stepped abruptly out ofthe fog and found ourselves on the outskirts ofthe City, flooded with the Sun, at the entrance toaskyscraper. Inoticed several angels bypassing the queue tolead inside the souls guarded bythem. We followed them in. The Angel asked me towait for him on abench at the ajar door tothe Courtroom, next toothers like me waiting something out ofturn.

What apity, sighed the Boy sitting tomy right.

Pity? For what? Idecided toclarify.

We are here and not there, he answered sadly.

Why? Iasked, not understanding what he meant. And where is there?

Iwant tobe an angel, the Boy sighed again. There means inthe general queue. And we are here There is almost no chance tobecome angels from here.

Why not? Iwondered, still understanding nothing.

My grandma used tosay that all children leaving the Earth become angels. Outside the queue, only exceptions are served.

Adevils head popped out ofthe Courtroom.

Shit! What the Hell are you talking about?! Shut up you both, exceptions! Inthis Hall, the most interesting begins! And Icant hear adamn thing because ofyour chatter!

Im awfully sorry, Iwhispered apologetically and involuntarily walked over tothe ajar door.

The Moonlight Sonata was playing there, the lights were dimmed. Frozen inanticipation, the judges were ready tolisten. The left bowl ofLibra tilted almost tothe limit, although it contained only one scroll ofjubilant demons. Images from the earthly life ofyet another soul started projecting on the screen









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291995




1.The Master ofFates


The world collapsed

Elena decided tomake coffee, but found the coffee jar empty. She helplessly sank into achair and was automatically flipping through afresh newspaper, when suddenly astrange announcement caught her eye, Everyone who decides tocommitsuicidegets acup ofcoffee / tea before death at the expense ofour house!

The door ofthe mansion, placed on the edge ofthe city, was opened byan old woman inblack.

Im on the ad, Elena said wearily.

Yes, come in, please! the Hostess invited the girlin.

Inthe center ofthe small hall, inthe armchairs bythe fireplace, Elena noticed two men. Inthe corner, curled up inaball, ablack cat was dozing. They must have been drinking tea really, since the cups hadnt been taken away yet, and the box ofchocolates was half empty.

Elena looked around. The furnishings were not rich, but not aspeck ofdust tobe noticed anywhere, and everything was tasteful: embroideries on the walls, curtains on the windows, antique candlesticks and parquet

And for you tea or coffee? the man inblue jumper asked.

Coffee Iran out ofcoffee at home Thank you

He was about fifty. Handsome. Obviously not poor. Why is he looking for death?thought Elena, and the Handsome retired tothe kitchen.

The second man, ingray trousers and gray sweater, with ahuge green scarf wrapped around his thin neck, looked pale and coughed frequently.

Sit down at the table, honey! the Hostess smiled, returning from the kitchen with pies. Or take aseat on the sofa! Its up toyou. You see, we mean no harm toyou. Despite your great desire toleave the world forever, stay for awhile inour gloomy but kind company!

Elena, however, had long been unafraid ofanything, and it didnt matter toher what todrink, tea or coffee. Trying tounderstand where shed got to, the girl sat down at the table.

We are all astep away from death. However, nobody forbids us toallow ourselves something pleasant before losing everything at once. What way did you decide togo tothe Other World? the Hostess asked.

And whats your name? the Handsome added.

Elena, the girl answered, gripping awarm cup with her fingers.

Ernest, the Handsome introduced himself.

The man with the scarf wanted tosay his name, but coughed.

And Robert is ourpainter! the Hostess introduced him. He is pondering about his scarf. And Ernest plannedto

Ihavent decided yet the way Elena said inconfusion, without listening totheend.

Well, thats not aproblem! the Hostess encouraged her smiling. Where are you inahurry now? An hour earlier or later

The Hostess gently asked the guests toshare their stories about the sudden collapse ofthe world. Everything, infact, came down toafew reasons: feeling ofuselessness, loss ofloved ones, incurable disease and lack ofmoney. Each story they had told reallytouched anerve, however, each ofthem believed that their own reason was much more significant, and what had happened tothe others was possible tosurvive.

Listen, Elena, Ernest said calmly. Ihave abag ofmoney. Ill give it toyou. Free ofcharge. Idont need it anymore. And you will solve all your problems! You are too young tojump off abridge into the water!

Give her the money, thats right, Robert agreed. But why should you die? You are the only one whos been saved out ofhow many there? obviously tolive! Is that acoincidence? Im really dying, and Idont have much time left anyway. Ijust dont want totorture anyone.

You still have time topaint us! Elena exclaimed. And not only us! Create alot ofbeautiful pictures! Why are you inahurry?

Elena is right, Robert, the Hostess agreed. There is no need tohurry. You can live here. Iwill take care ofyou like ofason. It doesnt bother me at all. My son is dead, and Iwould give alot tohave someone torelieve my loneliness.

Word byword, and bythe evening they became friends and stopped rushing into Eternity, although it was not voiced out loud.

Suddenly the doorbell rang again. Atall man ofstrong build inblack robes with ahuge backpack appeared on the threshold.

Is it here the suicidal are gathering? the stranger chuckled darkly.

The Hostess nodded and smiled, but afeeling ofanxiety pinched her heart.

And who are you? she asked before letting the stranger into the house.

The one youre missing here! the man answered sharply and, throwing the Hostess aside, headed for the room.








Anurse approached the old lady brought at night tothe intensive care unit. She lay under adrip, whispering something. The nurse couldnt hear the words and leaned closer.

Iam apsychotherapist Iwanted tosave them, but God punished me! Iconsidered myself tobe the Master ofFates! Iresurrected them and doomed them todeath He is amaniac find him! He killed everyone but me Imust die! Its unfairif

Everything will be fine, dont worry! You just dont have toworry! the nurse said, understanding nothing ofwhat she had heard.

The woman got silent. Her kind heart stopped, and her light soul left the temporary abode, rushing towards Heaven, tomeet her dead son and those whom she so sincerely had tried tosave



January 29,1995









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281994




2.ASinner


After asmall breakfast ofscrambled eggs, taking with him acouple ofcheese and sausage sandwiches, and only bychance remembering totake also the Gospel and the cross, the parish priest, Father Alexey, slowly went toconfess acertain parishioner Pelageya, who was dying ofaterminal illness. Father Alexey didnt know her, as he had served inthat church for aweek only.

Entering ashabby little room, he saw awoman about forty. She seemed tono longer react tothe surrounding sounds, and her gaze was fixed on the window overlooking the garden, where the birds were singing joyfully, and the cheerful wind was rustling. Father Alexey came closer toPelageya. Her features seemed too familiar tothe priest, but invain he tried toremember where he might have crossed paths with the dying woman, so, sitting down on achair byher bed, as usual insuch cases, he asked,

Iwas told that you want toconfess, my dear

Yes, the dying woman replied inaweak voice.

Then tell me your sins and transgressions, the priest made the sign ofthe cross and prepared tolisten attentively.

Pelageya started her life story from the very beginning: as achild she had broken her mothers favorite vase, too often she had quarreled with her sister and friends, and she hadnt believed inGod. However, left without alivelihood at the age offifteen, Pelageya went toplay the flute inthe streets toget money for food, and bythe will ofthe Almighty, for the first time she found herself inachurch, where acompletely different world opened up forher.

What the dying woman had told him up tothat point was not ofparticular interest tothe priest, he even snored alittle, and, waking up, only shook his head periodically. Sometimes it seemed toFather Alexey that he had already heard something similar before, but during his life the priest managed toserve inso many churches that thousands ofstories confessed tohim byparishioners had long been mixed up inhis head and safely forgotten, and new ones were not remembered atall.

Then Imet him, the eyes ofthe dying woman suddenly sparkled, and she smiled. He was kind and caring, he courted me as aprincess, but said almost nothing about himself, only that he loved me and we would get married after Easter. Once Ifound out byaccident that my groomwas astudent at the Theological Seminary, however, the prospect ofbecoming the wife ofapriest didnt frighten me at all! On the contrary, Iwas even delighted, since Ialready believed inGod! But soon, when Itold him we were going tohave ababy, he forbade me togive birth toour son.

Son? Father Alexey furrowed his brow and fiddled with the Gospel.

Yes, thank God, Ididnt take at least that sin upon my soul! After all, we never got married. My groomgot scared, exchanged me for the daughter ofarich and influential official. And my son outwardly is acopy ofhis father, and Inamed him Alexey as well.

How old is the boy?

Seventeen.

Did you tell him about his father?

No, Father. My son sings inachurch choir, he is going tothe Seminary. Ididnt want him tochange his attitude towards God because ofsuch afather. All he knows is that they are too similar inappearance.

Father Alexey shook his head andtouched Pelageyas hand. He was silent for awhile, but then, sharply withdrawing his hand, said menacingly,

So, my dear, you seduced apriest, then disobeyed him, despite the fact that awoman should always be inobedience toaman, being created out ofhis rib, and on the top ofthat you also concealed the truth from him!

Father, but Pelageya tried toobject.

Sinner! Isnt it written inthe Bible that everything Ihave listed is amortal sin?!

Isincerely repent ofall my sins and ask you toforgiveme!

Have that man forgiven you?

Where can Ifind him now? the unfortunate woman whispered already intears. Is my soul doomed towander the world like arestless ghost?

My dear, the Great pre-Easter fast is going on, so you must fast! Perhaps God will forgive you, but notI.

The dying woman wept silently.

Father Alexey was returning tothe church, obviously not inagood mood, but only one thought was spinning inhis head, My God, what does time make with afemale beauty!That same evening, Father Alexey left his cassock at home and went with friends toapub. Havingdrunkheavily, the next morning he skipped the mass and spent the entire Holy Week with friends, remembering the Passion ofChrist without parting with the bottle.

On Easter, inorder toavoid losing his job again, Father Alexey had tosober up. At the festive meal after the mass, he was informed that Pelageya had been buried on Friday. The deceased had not been served bythe funeral vigil due tothe lack ofmoney from her son, who nevertheless ordered aspecial 40-days prayer for the dead mother.

Taking church wine with him, Father Alexey went tothe grave ofthe newly departed and bumped into ahandsome young man at the cemetery gate. The priest immediately recognized his son, but the son would have never recognized his father, since he looked toobad



June 28,1994




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131996




3.Twowomen


Ijust loved her too much! Havent you ever felt like tosacrifice your life for the sake ofyour beloved?

Idont remember where and when Imet Jeanne, because we lived inthe same house, played inthe same yard, studied at the same school. Everyone liked Jeanne, she was surrounded bycrowds ofsuitors, and at first Iwas even afraid toinvite her for awalk. Ive had problems with women since childhood. Ive always been afraid ofthem. And, as it turned out, not for nothing!

We started dating inearly spring, when Jeanne was eighteen. We often went tothat lake, with an uninhabited island inthe middle. Jeanne used tosay she would like toget on it! No one was pulling hertongue, mindyou!

Ialways took my favorite, Junga, on my walks. Just incase. Ifelt much more confident next toher. Many people even believe that such dogs should not be kept at home for being dangerous tolife! Yes, Iagree, her character, frankly, wasnt simple, Icouldnt bring home afriend, not tomention the whole company. Junga would attack anyone who was not amember ofour family, and, being locked inanother room, she would burst into unbearable barking and breaking down the door until the stranger left. Junga, bythe way, disobeyed even me, but Iloved her very much! Isnt adog mans best friend?

Honestly, Isincerely hoped that my girls would become friends, however, Junga once it became clear tome! had scanned the future and hated Jeanne inadvance, growled at her and tried inevery possible way tobite her. Itried topersuade Junga toaccept the situation, invain! She was stubbornly adamant. Then Irealized that she was jealous ofme! Finally! Anyway, under third parties pressure, Istill made adecision toget married. Must means must. No way toavoid! They would think that Iwas indifferent tothe oppositesex, unlike myown!

Junga, ofcourse, couldnt forgive me for such aturn ofevents! Her aggression went off the scale, she began torush at me as well! No matter the way Itried toexplain toher the human must, it was all invain: dogs dont forgive betrayal. How would you feel aboutsomeone who betrayed you? After the wedding, Ileft Junga at my mothers and moved tolive at Jeannes.

Ireally missed my Junga very much, Iwas awfully homesick, Idreamed about her every night, and, God knows, Itried tovisit her as often as Icould! With every fiber ofmy soul, Ifelt her incredible suffering and, as aresult, Iasked my mother tomake Junga get married as well. One-time, ofcourse Who would have known how much Iwas worried about her wedding night! However, self-hypnosis is agreat thing! So, if Iwas cheating on her with Jeanne

That morning my mother called me totell the amazing news: Junga was going tohavepuppies! Ijumped around the room with happiness, Iwould take one for myself! Agirl, ofcourse! The spitting image ofJunga! Ieven barked with joy. For the first time. And at that very moment, Jeanne appeared inthe room and said that we were going tohave ababy.

M-yes!

Inthe evening we decided tocelebrate the imminent replenishment ofthe family at my mothers flat. Junga, as usual, began tothrow herself at the fragile Jeanne. My mother, inspite ofmy protests, closed Junga inthe room tolet us have aquiet dinner inthe kitchen.

After the meal, my mother and Iretired tothe balcony todiscuss the upcoming changes. Suddenly there was aroar and screams. The door tothe room with Junga was blown off its hinges. Having entered the kitchen, we saw Jeanne. Instead ofwashing the dishes, she was lying unconscious with abloody knife inher hand! Roaring menacingly, Junga sprawled on her belly

We called adoctor and avet. Iwas depressed! Ihowled! Yes, Ihowled at the Moon, not embarrassed byeither veterinarians or doctors. Junga could no longer have puppies, and my wife could no longer have kids. God! It seemed tome Icouldnt survive that!

We were walking bythe very lake, with an uninhabited island inthe middle. It was already too late, and not asoul around. Aterrible picture came back tolife and froze on the inner screen: my beloved Junga and the knife inJeannes hand Idont remember how that very knife ended up inmy hands

Ijust loved her too much!



December 13,1996









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261998




4.Frozen


Hey! Yuri whispered, glancing sadly at her beautiful cold face. Today Icame late, because Itook the child tothe cottage Iam sorry, Inna!

She was silent.

Well, forgiveme!

Inna said nothing.

So, all summer long Yuri came toher every evening totalk about his current life, and he brought her ice cream. Yes, Iwill always remember, she loved ice cream, and she froze some berries for the winter todefrost them and eat with ice cream inthe winter.

God told us toforgive everyone. Youve always believed inGod, havent you, Inna? Forgiveme!

She was silent.



***


Autumn came, and it rained heavily. That evening, Yuri bought her abouquet ofsmall chrysanthemums.

Ive never given you flowers before. Im sorry Do you want me tobring them toyou every day?.. And ice cream as well! Whatever you love!

Inna was silent. Yes, she was mercilessly cold!

Yuri often remembered that everyone envied him for such awife beautiful, young, cheerful, sociable

How long can you be offended, Inna? Yes, Iwas wrong! Although Ive been holding back for so long! Just think, only once Iwas jealous ofour child! Yes, because you spent too much time on him and paid no attention tome! Iwas very hurt, really! Well, Im sorry!

Yuri looked at Inna with such aplaintive look, but she remained silent. And he could hardly restrain himself, since men dontcry.



***


Inwinter, almost every evening, inaddition toice cream, Yuri brought her also tangerines. Inna must have been fond ofthem as well, but she continued tobe silent. She was so cold ofcourse








And then spring came. When everything frozen begins tomelt, and it seemed toYuri that Inna was about tomelt, too! He came toher with hope, but she was still cold.

Have pity on me! Yuri shouted. Listen tome! Icant go on like this! Icant live without you! Ifeel like Im going crazy! Ill take you away from here and make you happy! Just come back tome please! Well, forgive me!!!

At that moment, Icouldnt stand it anymore. You never know what one would do insuch astate! Istepped away from the surveillance video camera and, fastening mybulletproof vest on the go, went tothe client.

Yuri turned around as Iopened the door and greeted me with anod.

Have anice evening you too! Isaid. So, have you made your mind? Are we going torenew the contract?

Yuri was still inastate oftrance, fiddling with the edge ofhis jacket with nervous fingers.

Have you brought me the money for yourice cream? Iadded apassphrase tospeed up the process.

Yuri involuntarily shuddered and even somehow cringed, but then he immediately grabbed and opened the briefcase, filled with bundles offoreign banknotes.

Yes, yes ofcourse yes here you are

And have you really thought that the maintenance ofmy underground business Cold Storage at Boris garage is cheap? However, the rich have their own quirks, especially if they are going crazy, Imean, their madness, and, ofcourse, the money is not lying on the road!

Im very tired, Yuri whispered and sobbed, well, forgive me, Inna, forgive me! Ilove you! Please open your eyes! Look at me! Give me your hand! Get up! Lets go home! Come on Letsgo!

Inthe ensuing deathly silence, Yuri cast adesperate glance at Inna tosee once more her thin cold hands, which had once gently caressed him; her pale, dear tothe point ofpainand yet already someone elses face; her petrified lips, he lacked so much. He couldnt see only her eyes and the scars beneath her dress, left byhis numerous stabbings made insearch ofaheart



June 26,1998




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022021




5.Cranberries


Iloved my Mummy and cranberries inthe swamp, and Masha adored Lapland deer fillet and French snails inacafe on Rublyovka. How didnt Iguess right away that nothing good would come ofit again?

Iwas ten years older than her, not abad age difference tomake agirl obedient ineverything, but Iwas awfully mistaken! Masha didnt consider me agenius, and, even worse, she turned out tobe completely unlike Mummy, although Ichecked their birthdays inadvance before going on the offensive, that is, toget acquainted!

Why not? At that time, Iwas an enviable groom! unburdened bychildren and free ofalimony, with real estate inaswamp! Ahandsome man inhis prime! Mummy had just died, so our meeting with Masha seemed very appropriate!

As for my ex-wife, everything had gone wrong immediately, because my parents, especially Mummy, didnt like her. However, we had lived together for several years. Yes, wed got ason, but Inever considered him as my child! Not because Iwasnt his father (unimaginable!), Ijust didnt feel anything for him, whether he was ornot.

Thank God, Iquickly got rid ofthem both, my wife and my son, and life returned toits previous course with Mummy! Well, with dad also.

Ilived inabeautiful swamp and picked up cranberries. When there were no cranberries inthe swamp, Igot them out ofour fridges, picked inseason. If you eat cranberries all the time, you will never get sick! Thats what Mummy said. Its an axiom! What is life without cranberries?

Masha seemed tobe so quiet, so obedient, so like Mummy! For some reason, she loved Lapland deer fillet and French snails! Icouldnt understand why! And, apparently, Iwill never do. Why should Isponsor acafe on Rublyovka? After all, one needs, at least, towork for this. Was Iafool, or what, towork? Ihad never worked. As soon as Igraduated from the institute, or rather dropped out, Inever worked! Are you still plowing?

Iwas afree artist. Icreated pictures and poems. Like Mummy! Yes, she always wrote something at night inher diary. Iused toshow her my poems. And she liked them. She always praised me. And once she said that Ibecame apoet. So, Iwas apoet. Did Pushkin really work? No, he was creating! And so did I! Tocreate poetry, one needs peace, no other work. Therefore, Iquit the aviation institute as soon as Mummy considered me as apoet, and bought myself adisability!








My ex-wife, like most people, plowed for her boss, while Iwondered, why the Muse visited me so rarely. However, it would be asin tocomplain! Inthirty-odd years Ihad written as many as 200poems, but, ofcourse, thats nothing compared tothe quantity ofcranberries Id picked up, measured inkilograms or infridges where they were stored off-season.

So, one day Imet Masha. Inthe swamp. Picking cranberries. Ihad ahouse inthe swamp. There, you know, it was ahuge no ones land. Well not no ones, but wanted bynobody. Mummy was born inthose swamps, however, their house hadnt survived. Idecided tomake agift toMummy, so Ibuilt asmall house on the no ones land, almost ahut, but with astove! For my Mummy and me. Well, for dad also. And when Mummy died, aplace for Masha was vacated inthe hut. Or rather, for someone who would be like Mummy and love cranberries. So, one day Iwas picking cranberries and noticed Masha.

Icould see through people and immediately realized that Masha was also apoet. She was looking for her Muse inmy swamp! Icame up toher, we got talking. Isuggested picking cranberries together. Incranberry season. And out ofseason, getting berries from my fridge. Rather, Ihad several refrigerators, hidden inthe swamp, Ithink Ive already told you, Id got them specifically for cranberries.

Masha laughed for some reason. Did Isay something funny?! It was the first sign from Heaven that she was not like Mummy! Mummy had never laughed at me! Okay, Isupposed that Masha was flirting with me like that and forgave her for the first time.

However, Masha really wrote poetry! Ive told you Icould see right through people! And she gave me her book. About ghosts! Wow! And Iimmediately passed it tomy dad for verification whether he would like her poetry or not. As aresult, dad blessed me, and Iwent on the offensive!

Masha lived inthe city. Sometimes insummer she stopped at acafe on Rublyovka toeat afillet ofLapland deer or French snails, and she came tomy swamp bychance, while visiting distant relatives.

So Iaccomplished afeat! Ihad tocome tothe city from my swamp inorder towalk Masha along Tverskaya street inthe evening. You see, inwinter, Masha was plowing for her boss inabookstore toeat Lapland deer fillets and French snails occasionally insummer!

Iremember we walked from Mayakovskaya tothe Kremlin, discussing many details important tome. Iasked where her mother had been buried and told about Mummys funeral. On the stretch from Mayakovskaya toPushkinskaya, we discussed cemeteries, where the Muses were found, like inswamps, and from Pushkinskaya tothe Kremlin, we talked about cranberries.

Imust have awakened Mashas appetite, but God forgive me! Ididnt pay much attention tothe second sign from Heaven, Imean, Masha hinted that it would be nice togo toacafe!

Toeat near the Kremlin or even on Tverskaya?! Thank you! Mummy had never eaten outside at all, not tomention Tverskaya or near the Kremlin! However, instead ofsaying goodbye toMasha immediately and forever, Ipretended not tonotice her desire tohave abite. Ibrought her tothe subway and returned tomy swamp. Bythe way, Idrive an antique parents car! Mummy loved it very much, so doI!

The cranberry season was still far away and Ifelt sad. Isent Masha aletter from the swamp. And she dared towrite me back nothing!!! Then Igot angry and sent her apostscript, And just dare tosay something bad about my mother! Iwill kill you!

Okay, Masha hadnt said anything bad about Mummy at that time, but Idecided towarn her inadvance, just tolet her know! Ihadnt warned my ex-wife. And when, after several years ofour life together, she dared tosay that Mummy should finally let us live separately Imagine! Who would have thought! How many years Ihad enduredher!

However, Masha was silent again! Isaw that she had received and read my message and the postscript toit!

Igot furious!!! Mummy had reacted toall my messages with lightning speed! So Idecided, knowing where and until what hour Masha worked, tosecretly follow her inthe evenings from her office toher home tosee if my passion had anyone toeat together Lapland deer fillets and French snails!

Thank God, Masha and Ihad nothing special at that time, Imean, Ihadnt eventouched her with afinger, not tomention all sorts ofsnails tenderness. Anyway, Ihad accomplished awhole step, driving Mummys favorite car from the swamp tothe city and back only towalk Masha along Tverskaya that evening!

Isettled inwith some homeless bums inthe basement opposite Mashas house. Well, it was okay, Icould bear it, since Istarted it for agood cause, toget know what todo with Masha Itold my dad that Iwas on asecret mission ofspecial services, so Iwould be absent inour swamp for awhile.

And so aweek later Inoticed that Masha met some sort ofagirl ofher age!.. And they went toacafe near the Kremlin!!!

What ashit?! How did she dare tochange me for agirl??? Mummy! Forgive me! Sorry! Idared toimagine that Masha is like you!!!

Ireturned tothe swamp and wept! The bright memory ofmy holy Mummy wasinstantly desecrated bythe mere thought ofapossible connection with such adirty and vicious Masha! How could Ihave allowed such asacrilegious black stain toappear?! Shit! It needed tobe removed immediately! Once and forever!!!

That evening Iwent tothe city and ambushed Masha, who was returning home from work, at the entrance toher house. She even smiled at seeing me and said Hi, as if we had seen each other the day before. Isuggested talking inMummys car. And how lucky Iwas! she agreed.

Ofcourse, Masha said Iwas crazy, because that girl ofher age had been just her cousin. But did Mashas words give a100% guarantee that there had been nothing between them well, you know, what Imean! when Ireturned tothe swamp out ofgrief

Ididnt go toacafe even with my brother! Ihadnt seen him inages. Since he got married. Yes, he was atraitor! Left Mummy! Swapped her for some

Sorry, Iwas distracted from Masha!

She could tell me anything just toescape, as Ihad caught her like abird inacage, locking inMummys favorite car, but Masha was completely different from Mummy! And Icouldnt just couldnt do otherwise! After all, Mummy had promised towatch over me from Heaven and tobe always nearby! So, she knew that I fell for Masha and imagined her inthe place ofMummy!!! Oh, my God!!! Just the thought ofit drove me crazy!

Itook Masha tothe swamp (naturally, we didnt go into our family hut, so as not todesecrate it!), and then, when that disgustingly vicious woman was already dead, Igot myself cranberries from the fridge and ate, and ate, and ate them so that not tocatch acold after another stress! as Mummy had always advised



April 02,2021









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2002




6.Coffee


Iwas composing an important letter inthe office, when the phone rang again. An excited female voice asked for Vladislav.

Excuse me, could you introduce yourself? Iasked.

His wife

Itried not toshow up my surprise and keep calm at least outwardly. Firstly, she used tocall him on his mobile, never tothe office. Secondly, Vlad planned tospend that day negotiating at the bank since morning. Didnt she know? But there was no time tothink.

Hello, Marina! Its Vika. Vladislav is at the bank. Im not sure hell show up inthe office. Can Ihelp you?

Yes, she said, still excited. Icalled on his mobile, its switched off, Ileft him amessage. The alarm went off inour flat. Im scared!

The negotiations wont be over until lunchtime. Anyway, Vladislav will certainly listen toyour message. Ofcourse, Ican call him too, but if the phone is switched off

Im so scared, Vika! Could you come over right now? Please!

Okay, Ireluctantly agreed, since they lived acouple ofminutes from the office, and it would be more expensive toresist.

Iam waiting for you at the entrance! Thanks! Marina breathed asigh ofrelief.

Icalled Vlad, but the answering machine turnedon.

Your wifes called. Shes asked me tocome toyour house immediately. Well, Im going



Hello, Vika! Im very embarrassed! Imet our neighbor, and he helped me with this damn alarm! So, everything is fine, it just went off byaccident! Sorry for disturbing you!

Not abig deal! Iam glad thats all right! Tobe honest, Iunderstand nothing inalarm systems, Iexhaled and was about toturn back and leave, as Marina stoppedme.

Vika, Idont feel comfortable! Come infor awhile! Lets drink coffee! Ill treat you tosomething delicious! she offered smiling.

No, no, Ihave togo back tothe office! Isaid, squeezing out asmile inreturn.

Your office can wait! Moreover, your boss is at the bank! Lets go, come on! Iwont let you off so easily now!

Iwasnt too keen on going into their flat, although Ihad never been there before. Iwas even more embarrassed bythe prospect ofthe upcoming conversation. Acouple ofyears ago, when Marina and Ihad got acquainted, Itried tochat with her on general topics, but, as it turned out, we had really not much totalk about, besides, Iwas afraid tosay something extra, so we ended up drinking coffee insilence.

However, she almost dragged me into the entrance.

We got up totheir flat. Marina invited me into the kitchen. Iwas looking at the collection ofsouvenirs on the open shelves without much interest, while she brewed coffee.

How are you? Marina suddenly broke the silence.

Iwonder who she means saying you?flashed through my head, but Itried torespond neutrally, Everything is just as usual.

Vlad said that abusiness trip toFinland is planned.

Yes, but no dates have been set yet.

We sat down at the kitchen table. Marina silently offered toclink the cups. Ididnt resist.

When are the negotiations supposed tobe over? she asked, taking her first sip and glancing at her watch.

Idont know, probably soon, Ianswered and felt asharppaininmy stomach, once again remembering the doctors advice toforget about such awonderful drink.

Vika, do you believe inlife after death? Marina suddenly asked and picked me up, as Iwas losing consciousness frompain. Come withme!

Thepainleft me as abruptly as it had appeared. Igot up from the floor and followed Marina into the living room. She stopped bythe window.

Now there is nothing tofear and lose, she said without looking into my eyes. Why did you need him?

Idont know what toanswer you

Iknew what toanswer her. Iloved Vlad. Not for anything. And thats why Ididnt care what status tobe next tohim. Did Vlad love me? Agreat question. Anyway, Ihad never asked him todivorce his wife, realizing that he got used toher. Ididnt wish them any harm.

God sees everything, Vika. He should have punished you both. You cant imagine how much Ihate you! However, God will forgive me for what Ive done, Marina began tosob like akid.

What have you done? Igot surprised and, from abad feeling, Iimmediately turned toVlad mentally, Please, come here quickly! Your Marina is going toeat me now!

Iknow he wouldnt leave you! Yes, Ive never loved him, since it was amarriage ofconvenience, but he had no right! No right!!!

Calm down, please! Ididnt know what tosay insuch cases.

Icouldnt live like this! Could not! He had tolose us both!!!

Suddenly we heard rushing footsteps on the stairs, and the front door slammed.

Marina! Vika! Vlad shouted out ofbreath, are you there?

Marina froze insilence, turning tothe window, and Iran out into the corridor.

Its nice ofyou tocome! Iexclaimed.

Vlad didnt seem tohear me, heading for the kitchen quickly.

We are here! Ishouted again. However, frozen at the ajar door, Vlad didnt even turn around.

Marina!!! No, you couldnt! he exclaimed without turning tome.

God must forgive me! she said coldly, approachingus.

Istood between them, trying invain tofigure out what had happened. Vlad turned around, slammed the kitchen door inmy face, and, not paying any attention tous, started pacing back and forth down the corridor, frantically dialing someones number on his phone.

Vlad, whats wrong?! Iwondered.

Ive calculated everything, Marina said, patting her husband on the shoulder. Its too late!

Ambulance? shouted Vlad, getting through.

What damnambulance?! Whats wrong with you? Iscreamed inhisear.

He doesnt hear us, Marina stated. However, life after death exists indeed.



May,2002









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2021




7.Intergalactic Union ofWriters


The path tomy glory was easy enough, since Iwas incredibly lucky!

However, it all started with the fact that Iwas born exceptionally ugly and short. My twin sister, Maya, on the contrary, turned out tobe pretty, and short stature for agirl is more ofaplus than aminus. Everyone liked Maya and turned up their noses at me. No matter how much Itried toplease people, toget their attention, it was all invain. Even heavy shoes with thick soles didnt add tomy weight or height.

Thats the way Ibecame awriter. Igot myself avest inthe form ofadiary, towhich Itrusted my intimate sufferings from non-reciprocity, but after the first rhyme that came tomind, Ichanged my shoes into apoet. Soon Idiscovered plenty ofwebsites where one could post ones masterpieces. As aresult, afterpainful swings between pros and cons, because at that time Iwasnt sure yet ofthe excellence ofmy works, Inevertheless registered the profile, uploaded apicture ofahandsome man and my first verse, the Unrecognized Genius, or The Rejected.

Incredibly, Iwasinstantly hit byaflurry ofpositive responses, including declarations oflove from women ofall ages, suits and calibers!

They began toinvite me toevents at literary associations and circles, toperformances inmuseums, libraries, schools and even kindergartens, which at first Iwas naturally embarrassed, because the picture ofanameless handsome man, posted byme on the Internet, was radically different from my reflection inthe mirror.

However, Pushkin, you know, was outwardly also for an amateur

So, Igot onto stage! Iwas applauded bythe arenas! Women asked for an autographed book, composed and sang songs based on my poems, snuggled up tome incollective photos and hinted inevery possible way that they wouldnt mind getting toknow me better. Anyway, there were no men inliterary units, with the exception ofafew pensioners and chronicalcoholics, against the background ofwhich Ilooked like afairy-tale prince. And yes, Ienjoyed it! That was something quite different from being home, among relatives, or inthe office at work

Soon, aretired lady inlove with me gave me arecommendation tojoin the Union ofWriters ofthe City, Iprinted two books ofthe chosen lyrics, submitted them with the recommendation, tothe admission committee, and was accepted! Wow! Accepted! They said that my lyrics shocked them tothe core, especially the poem Unrecognized Genius.

However, the second old woman inlove with me was jealous ofthe first one and invited me tojoin the City Union ofWriters. You may ask, whats the difference between the Union ofWriters ofthe City and the City Union ofWriters? Istill dont understand that myself, but the old lady said that the City Union ofWriters was quoted higher. So Ideserved the best!

Within five years, Iwas accepted into all the existing literary associations and Writers Unions, which headquarters were located inour city and on its outskirts, each ofwhich considered itself much cooler than all the others put together.

Idutifully paid my annual dues. And more and more often, Ireceived letters with nominations for numerous competitions, inwhich Ialways won! Traditionally, each selection ofmy poems for any competition began with the Unrecognized Genius, already a100% verified masterpiece, my calling card incontemporary poetry. And rather, inliterature ingeneral, what is there tohide, since my Unrecognized Genius was awarded not only the Alexander Pushkin Prize, but also won the Leo Tolstoy, Nikolai Gogol and Anton Pavlovich Chekhov competitions! Ofcourse, Iasked the organizers ofthe competitions totake into consideration for prose writers awards my diary prose instead ofpoetry, but Iwas immediately assured that my poetry was so large-scale and profound that the greatest prose masters ofthe world would have been happy togive me all their orders and medals!

And after these words, Ifinally discarded the last doubts inmyself!

After five years ofrotation inliterary circles, there was no free space left on my jacket! It glistened with gold, pleasantly rang with glory and, like amagnet, attracted almost every literary woman without exception. And once Iwore this jacket toan office party. And wow, yes! It was my minute ofglory!

Only stupid Maya laughed at me! She considered my poems worthless inmeaning and ugly inrhymes! She said that Tolstoy, Gogol and Chekhov, together with Pushkin and others like them, had long dreamed ofmeeting me inthe Other World inorder tosend me toHell for afrying pan, because all my awards were given not for the quality ofworks and not for me alone, but for money toeveryone.

Itried toexplain tomy sister that we lived inacommercial society, the writers unions had not been funded bythe state for along time, so they were forced toencourage authors at the expense ofthe very same authors. Victories innational competitions and government awards were given only totheir own, and, for sure, they cost much more. However, Maya wasnt lazy tocalculate how much money Ihad spent on my literary activities infive years, and assured me that acottage bythe sea inEurope cost much cheaper!

Europe Okay, Maya was right: it was time toconquer Europe, and then Asia, and the whole world! And unbelievable! Ifound out the Union ofEuropean Writers, and then the Union ofWriters ofAsia, the Union ofWriters ofEurasia, and later the Union ofWriters ofNorth and South America, Canada, Mexico, Brazil, Peru, Easter Island and the Fiji Islands, Papua and New Guinea, Antarctica and Arctic

Iended up reaching the North and South Poles inthe next five years!

Yes! Ibecame aworld famous poet! The number ofdecorations as orders and medals didnt fit even on ten jackets, nothing tosay about diplomas! Iposted each new award on my pages insocial networks and got more and more likes from other poets and writers, who, following me, conquered the peaks that Ihad already conquered. Ifelt like apioneer! The first one! The commander ofcontemporary poetry and lets face it! the real God ofthe Literary Olympus.

At the same time, Iwas keeping track ofmy competitors diplomas and awards, and as soon as Ifound something new, Iimmediately sent the Unrecognized Genius tothe next competition and wonit!

The whole world lay at my verses!

At that time, Ihad already published more than ahundred books and continued towrite more and more! Every day afew poems! Yes, inspiration had nothing todo with it! The Creator must create constantly, non-stop! Poetry is work! Daily. Persistent. Like the work ofaminer or ateacher. Or adoctor. You dont want towrite? You have to, my friend! Sit down and write! Thats your mission on Earth. Choose atime, for example, every day from 10:00p.m. tomidnight, and knock yourself out! Not aday without aline! thats the motto ofatrue poet and writer!

Maya was the only one who didnt recognize my greatness. She didnt even laugh anymore, she just stopped communicating with me Well, its apity! Ofcourse, envy is abad feeling, but Iforgave Maya inadvance. She is my sister. Let her envy for health! Maya, however, bought herself aflat inMiami. Anyway, as for me, recognition is more important! Im agenius, and shes just Maya, and her name, bythe way, inSanskrit means illusion!

While Iwas thinking about where togo now, toconquer Mars or Venus, an event occurred inmy life that Ididnt attach any importance toit. At the next party inthe Central House ofWriters, where Ihad been invited toread poetry bytwo charming ladies ofthe literary association Gods dandelion, acertain Ilya Bookfondoff appeared. He came tothe microphone, introduced himself as the head ofthe Readers (!) Union just registered, and invited everyone toapply for membership. No dues were required tobe paid, but the obligatory condition for amember ofthe Union was toread at least one book ayear and write areview ofno more than one page onit.

Wow! What the audacity! Iwent tothe microphone and expressed my boo toMr. Bookfondoff. We, poets and writers, gathered there, were born towrite and not toread! While all the rest, not present inthat hall people, must learn us, the honored and awarded, the greatest and decorated with orders and medals, the winners and laureates! After all, at literary unions meetings, performances inlibraries and schools, at concerts ofpoets and writers inour times, there were only poets and writers like ourselves! Readers and ordinary listeners had been sitting at home for ages!

The audience supported my boo with thunderous applause and Bravo!, but Mr. Bookfondoff tried toobject that such an incredible number ofWriters Unions had bred, since everyone who had asocial network page and knew towrite at least their full name, considered oneself awriter. However, judging bythe reports ofpublishers, people had stopped buying books, and, therefore, reading them. That was why, inorder tomaintain interest inbooks, he, Mr. Bookfondoff, had decided tocreate the first and the only one inthe world Union ofReaders.

The discussion threatened toescalate into asharp conflict. Ioffered Mr. Bookfondoff toread my books first and defiantly left the Central House ofWriters. Everyone else followed me, except for Mr. Bookfondoff.

Ayear passed. At another evening at the Lyrics ofCuckoos kids Literary League, Ilearned that no one had joined the Readers Union, apart from Mr. Bookfondoff, meanwhile another Writers Union appeared insocial networks!

And that time an Intergalacticone!

Wow! Irejoiced! Hang on, Maya! Now you just have todie ofenvy!

Iwas told its website where Igot acquainted with the conditions for admission tothe Union and with the list ofcompetitions for the coming decade. So every year was run byits own Intergalactic Commission, issuing awards named after one ofthe planets ofthe Solar System, nearby Constellations, satellites and not only.

During the night, Iprepared aselection ofmy poems, the Unrecognized Genius came first, ofcourse, and sent it tothe Intergalactic Commission for consideration. At the same time, Iapplied tojoin the Union.

Imagine my surprise when Ireceived the reply revealing that my poems were not subject even for aprize nomination, and Ihad been refused admission tothe Union!

Oh, no! Iwont leave it like that!Idecided, and instead ofcontinuing our correspondence, Iwent straight totheir office.

The secretary politely listened tomy demand for aface-to-face meeting with the most important person inthe Intergalactic Union and escorted me tothe meeting room.

Afew minutes later, the door swung open,and

Mr. Bookfondoff! You?! Iwas surprised.

Hello! Mr. Bookfondoff said calmly. What brings you here?

Ihanded him aprintout ofmy works, beginning with my masterpiece, the Unrecognized Genius, and said that Ihad been refused not only the Sun Prize, but also the nomination itself, as well as the admission tothe Intergalactic Union.

Bywhat right? Todeal with me! That way! Iexclaimed inconclusion. Have you ever read my poetry?

Ofcourse, Mr. Bookfondoff replied suddenly. Ihave read your book. Back when you invited me toget acquainted with your lyrics at the Central House ofWriters.

AND?! Iwas expecting admiration.

You are acommon graphomaniac.

Are you out ofyour mind? Ishouted, jumping up from the table. How dare you insult me?! My Unrecognized Genius got abillion awards from all the Writers Unions existing today!

Mr. Bookfondoff took aprintout ofthe Unrecognized Genius toread it aloud infull.

Iam Eugenius, unrecognized genius, rejected byall. Be calm! My turn is about tocome! And my Sun will rise tofit! And I, inlove, will shine you with it!Im sorry, but

HOW MUCH?! Iyelled. How much should Ipay toyou?

You should have realized along time ago that Iam not abusinessman. Having failed with the Readers Union, Icreated the Writers Union toplease my soul, not for afee. You have probably read the terms ofmembership on the site, no money is required here, because Iam interested inseparating the wheat from the chaff, creating aunique association oftruly talented people who are lost inthe crowd ofgenius today. Iwant tohelp them leave their mark for the memory ofthose who will come afterus.

Mr. Bookfondoff put the printout on the table, sighed and left the meeting room. Idont remember how Igot home.

What todo? What todo then?

After all, on every corner, inall literary associations, on all kinds ofpages inthe social networks, Ihad already announced my application tothe Intergalactic Union ofWriters and the poems submitted tothe Sun Prize contest! Fansterrorized me, asking toshow them the next already intergalactic order or medal. And for sure, all the pen colleagues, who had learned about the appearance ofthe Intergalactic, had immediately sent their own applications! What if they had been accepted?

No, no, no!My whole life was put on the line! And what would Maya say?! My intergalactic failure meant her ultimate victory! How many years had Ispend climbing? How much effort? And money, after all! Tolet everything go down the drain astep away from Eternity, just because ofMr. Bookfondoff materialized out ofnowhere?

Who is he todecide the fate ofmy Unrecognized Genius?! Who is worthyofthe memory ofthose who will come after us, but me?..

Ihad tourgently take advantage ofmy official position. At that time, Iheaded the Writers Union ofthe Asphalt Pavers and the private security company No Problems!. Already on Friday, Imade apost on social networks about the sudden disappearance ofMr. Bookfondoff, and aweek later Iwas happy tohead the Intergalactic Union ofWriters. It is still open toeveryone. For afee, ofcourse. And yes, sorry, Ive almost forgotten: every member ofthe Union must learn my Unrecognized Genius byheart! However, as you have already seen, its easy enough, because brevity is the sister oftalent!

Welcome!



2021









8.


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2000




8.Stillborn


Iwill do it instead ofher! Tanya said, stopping me with agesture. She turned twelve years old thatday.



***


We got acquainted inthe bakery across from our office, where Nastya baked amazing buns. That evening, as usual, she knocked on the door and entered my office.

Hello! Isaid automatically, continuing toleaf through the mail, and Nastya silently stood at the table with the hope that Iwould honor her with alook afterall.

She was unusually beautiful that day. Something seemed tohave changed inher.

Whats happened, darling?

Nastya smiled enigmatically, nodded and, coming closer tome, sat down on the edge ofthe table. Ifrantically ran through the options inmy head. Anew dress? No. Had she changed hairstyle? Makeup? What was the difference?

Dont torture me, Im tired, give me ahint!

Nastya took my hand and ran it over her tummy.

We love you!

Iwas breathless with joy. Finally!



***


Tanya was always ajoy tous, she grew up infront ofour eyes, being abeautiful, cheerful and smart, albeit wayward girl. She drew wonderful pictures, played music and figure skating, studied foreign languages. We loved her, spoiling inevery possible way. My long-awaited child, she knew no refusal inanything.



***


Nastya came tothe window. It was pouring rain outside.

You know, Boris Idreamed about my mother last night. She said that we would have agirl, and she would look like me. For some reason, my mother began tocry, then she added something, something important, but Ididnt catch it. She was called somewhere, and Iwokeup.

Darling, Iwent up toNastya and hugged her tightly, you have no right tothink about anything bad! My daughter will be the most beautiful, the smartest, the happiest, the richest! All the required ofyou now is totake care ofyourself! My baby is supposed tobe born healthy, so you have no right toworry! You have tolive for her now!




  .


   .

   ,     (https://www.litres.ru/book/aleksandra-kruchkova/ckazki-prizrakov-tales-of-ghosts-premiya-im-edgara-po-68509319/)  .

      Visa, MasterCard, Maestro,    ,   ,     ,  PayPal, WebMoney, ., QIWI ,       .



notes








1


www.amazon.com/dp/B09VPLD7NL




2


www.ozon.ru/context/detail/id/521736778/




3


www.litres.ru/aleksandra-kruchkova/skazki-prizrakov-premiya-imeni-edgara-po-igra-v-inuml? sku_id=12000027744867970




4


www.wildberries.ru/catalog/69501325/detail.asu/




5


aliexpress.ru/item/1005004015033225.htpx




6


www.amazon.com/dp/B0BDFVDRJ2




7


www.ozon.ru/product/tales-of-ghosts-700502720




8


www.litres.ru/alexandra-kryuchkova/tales-of-ghosts-playing-another-reality-edgar-allan-p/




9


www.wildberries.ru/catalog/120458194/detail.as-p/




10


aliexpress.ru/item/1005004708362258.htpx?




11


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__




12


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__




13


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__




14


   1112(197198), 2021,     2021 http://litiz.ru/arch.html https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30044




15


  1(397), 2022,   , . :     2021. https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30303 http://www.poetograd.ru/arch.html




16


      . XXI  ,  -  , ISBN 978-5-7949-0884-8, .:  , 2021 198.




17


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__




18


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__




19


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__




20


The newspaper LITERARY NEWS (Literaturnye Izvestia) No. 1112(197198), 2021, The results ofthe literary awards 2021 bythe press-secretary ofMoscow State Organization ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30044 http://www.litiz.ru/arch.html




21


The newspaper POETOGRAD No. 1(397), 2022The results ofthe Open Literary Club 2021 byL. Koroleva. https://reading-hall.ru/publication.php?id=30303 http://www.poetograd.ru/arch.html




22


Encyclopedia Moscow City Organization ofthe Union ofWriters ofRussia. The beginning ofthe XXI century, encyclopedic catalog-reference book about the members ofthe Union, ISBN 978-5-7949-0884-8, M.: MGO SPR, 2021 198p.




23


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__




24


https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/,__


