19 DAYS

by

Andy Klein

Imprint

Original text copyright © 2016 by Andy Klein

English translation © 2018 by Andy and Totti Klein

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. This book is self-published by Andy Klein. For any information or questions please contact andyjuneone@Aol.com.

Print:  epubli - a service of neopubli GmbH, Berlin

www.epubli.de

Printed in Germany

Bibliographic information of the German national library

The German national library registers this publication in the German national bibliography; specified bibliographic data are retrievable via the Internet about http://dnb.d-nb.de.

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Cover design: Andy Klein

Content

The Goodbye

Day 1                                       

Day 2               

Day 3               

Day 4               

Day 5               

Day 6               

Day 7               

Day 8               

Day 9               

Day 10             

Day 11             

Day 12             

Day 13             

Day 14             

Day 15             

Day 16             

Day 17             

Day 18             

Day 19             

Author’s Note:

When I was 21, I was asked by a dear former colleague, if I would like to take part in a séance. And I thought… Oh-kay - why not.

For the first time in my life, I was sitting at a table with a few people -some of them I hardly knew - and I watched as an upside down wineglass was spinning along that wooden table as if by magic. All the words written by that glassware on that evening have burned deep into my memory. Finally that special evening inspired me to write this book - almost 25 years later…

“The most precious thing

a human being

can possess is time”

A.K.

The Goodbye

The pain - which someone is feeling - when he has to say goodbye to a loved one is indescribable. Lucas spent most of his whole childhood in his grandmother’s house. His parents were both working and they had barely time for him - except every now and then on weekends. His father was a carpenter with his own small workshop, which didn’t fetch as much money as expected. Therefore, his mother had even two jobs. During the day she worked at the office of the carpenter’s workshop, and in the evening in the late shift of a big printing company at the edge of town. His parents never needed to justify themselves to him - that they pushed off their only child to the grandmother, because he adored his Nana… and now she suddenly wasn’t there anymore - simply like that.

The house was quiet and yet still her scent filled the air. The sunrays illuminated the big living room and the colored curtains - with its pink and green floral design - shone in its entire splendor. The old sofa on which he cuddled as a small boy with his grandmother and listened to her exciting stories - every single piece of furniture, every picture on the wall, each of these teeny weeny porcelain figurines - told a little story. Nothing he would change in that house, because now it belonged to him. Aimless, he sauntered by the living room into the kitchen. He stopped in front of the big shelve. Everything was at its right place. Many of small and big spice cans, in between dried bouquets, and all over again, these small kitschy porcelain figurines, which she so much cared for. From the kitchen he went into the corridor and threw his big sports bag under the wardrobe.

He took the ashtray from the small little shoe cupboard, which was located beside the wardrobe. He sat down on the first step of the stairs that led upwards and lit a cigarette. So many thoughts and pictures went through his mind.

His life didn’t always took a normal course like one of an - let’s say - average boy. He was so proud to study medicine and worked for it very hard for almost 3 years. Then the occurrences came thick and fast.

The printing company - where his mother was working - was taken over by a rich Texan. For his mother it was a heaven-sent opportunity, and one day she was simply off and away with this rich guy. That - on the other hand - his father didn’t take very well. He started to drink. Thereby - step by step - he lost valuable contracts, and therefore in the end also his company. The divorce-papers were on its way when he decided to set his life to an end and hung himself in his basement. How many times he talked to him, how often he had tried to help him - it was countless times, but it was all in vain. Lucas missed his father, because every now and then - when he made time for him - they always had a lot of fun together. The carpenter’s workshop was a really great playground, which was always a thorn in his mother’s side. After all he was a little rascal, who only brought disturbance into the store, and with disturbance in the store, no-one earn any money. After the suicide, his father bequeathed them a huge mountain of debts. Therefore, his mother let sale his parental home by a realtor to pay of the debts. Lucas was on his own, because his mother didn’t care where he lived, either did she support him financially during his studies. How should it be otherwise, that he found a temporary shelter in his grandmother’s house, before he - a few months later - moved into his own apartment, which was located close to his job. At this time, Lucas put his studies on ice and it remained like that till now.

After some small occasional jobs, he finally ended up in the Moonville General Hospital as a male nurse, which he totally enjoyed. Maybe later - someday - he would bring his study to a close, but that was a long way away - because the frayed blue sports bag under the wardrobe represented his whole personal belongings.

   “You’re really someone very special, my sweetheart. You don’t have to be sad, one day your time will come,” Nana always said when he was glum, and took him into her loving arms. She always seemed to know how he was doing and she always found the right words to build him up again. In this moment, he only had his memories, but that wasn’t the same - he missed her so much…

The following night was very stormy. The big oak with its strong branches threw dark shadows into his old children’s room, every time it thundered. Lucas couldn’t sleep and listened to the rain, which was beating torrential-like against the window pane. He observed the shadows of the branches - how they moved on the wall. Old houses have their one’s own life. He heard the wind whistling through the gaps, the cracking sound of the floorboards on the attic and he thought about the funeral, which should take place next day.

   “Oh Nana… You don’t deserve this.”

The notion that her funeral should take place in such a lousy weather made him very angry. There was no chance of finding some sleep, but that didn’t really matter to him. So he got up again and went downstairs into the living room. He remembered that his grandmother always kept a bottle of herbal schnapps in the living room cupboard, which she always - lovingly - called medicine. Exactly this medicine - was what he needed now. He took the bottle, which was still almost full out of the cupboard, one of the whisky glasses from the glass cabinet and sat down onto the sofa.  

He filled up the glass completely up to the edge, took a big gulp and shuddered.

   “Medicine always have to taste bitter, that’s how it works,” he heard her saying in his thoughts.

   “Lucas, wake up! The funeral is already in an hour,” his mother hissed into his ear, while she ripped the almost empty bottle of schnapps out of his arms. “You wanna go with us, do you?”

Blinking, he opened his eyes. Jeff - meanwhile her new husband - stood head shaking under the doorframe. His mother arrived especially together with him from Texas. That was the very least, that the only daughter was attend at her mother’s funeral.

   “How did you get in here?” Lucas said still completely drowsy. “Isn’t my door bell working?”

   “As far as I can remember, I was born in this house, my boy.”

   “Oh yeah! And as far as I can remember, I haven’t invited you into my house, mother,” he replied to her brusquely, got up, passed both wordlessly and disappeared upstairs into the bathroom. 

Of course there were arguments between Nana and his mother back in those days, right before she disappeared. When she told her that she wishes for a better life and that she is better off without a husband and a child. She simply had chosen a new life - without her family - and she didn’t give a damn. The logical consequence was that Lucas inherited his grandmother’s house. His mother was really a hard-hearted woman - one of those women, who always forget - by their ambition and the striving for the big wealth - what it means to be a human being. He couldn’t understand why she was so completely different than his Nana. She was so full of warmth and goodness, and such as she deserved it, the sun - which she carried in her heart - was shining during the day of her funeral.

Lucas didn’t feel like driving to the funeral with his mother and her rich douche bag. On the other hand, here on the edge of the city, everybody knew about their family background anyway. Finally, it was a really big scandal - back in those days. Sharing a ride with his mother and her douche bag to the funeral, just to save face - that favor his mother didn’t deserve, but he did it... for his Nana.

The funeral was passing by him like an old silent movie. The many people around him, he perceived only as black-and-white shadows. Their voices echoed like crazy in his head. In the evening he couldn’t even remember, who was on the cemetery at all, and also their condolence messages. In this situation, there were no words, which could have relieved his heavy pain. He couldn’t hide his tears - not even behind the big tinted glasses...

The old attic with its many old treasures was quite scary. The small light bulb hardly illuminated the room, in which someone could barely stand. Lucas was sitting on a big old chest as a familiar voice spoke to him...

   “That was a nice funeral, my darling. You have always been my most loved. Don’t be sad. I will always be with you.”

His grandmother caressed his face. Startled and drenched in sweat he opened his eyes. He turned the small red radio alarm clock into his direction. It was 3.22 am. It was just a dream.

   “Nice funeral - what’s nice about a funeral, Nana!” He said and threw his head back into the pillow.

The last few days were totally exhausting, and in that night his body demanded sleep - without any ‘medical aids’. He closed his eyes, turned over and kept on sleeping.

It was almost noon as Lucas awoke. He went into the kitchen and brewed a strong coffee at first. Luckily, he had a few more vacation days left, he thought. Finally, there still were a lot of things to take care of. He needed to return to his old furnished apartment once again, to hand it over to his landlord. He was really lucky that the landlord’s nephew had a very big interest to move in directly, so that he could move out right away. The apartment was in the middle of the city center. It was barely larger than 25 square yards, but relatively affordable - and for a bachelor like him - just the right thing. He didn’t even need a car, because the hospital where he was working was located in only ten minutes walking distance. Now that would also change. From now on, he needed more than thirty minutes to reach the city by bus. He sat at the big round wooden table. While he was drinking his coffee, he stared out of the kitchen window into the flower-garden where everything was starting to blossom right now. For the first time in years, he felt very lonely… However, there wasn’t much time left for his twinge of self-pity. The handing over of the apartment should take place in just one hour. Lucas allowed himself a cat’s lick and an only partly successful shave. Just as he opened the door to go to the bus stop, a stranger was standing in front of the door…

    “Hi, my name is Victor - Victor Gab. I moved in next door yesterday and I just wanted to say hi. Actually, the realtor said that there’s a nice older gal living next door.”

   “Well, I’m Lucas and yesterday this nice older gal was buried,” he responded gruffly. “And unfortunately, I’m running out of time - I need to catch a bus.”

   “You don’t want to go to the city by chance?” Victor asked hectically, for whom the situation seemed to be more than embarrassing.

Lucas looked at him and nodded silently.

   “I have to go there, too. May I take you with me?”

Lucas was pleased internally about the ride and they got into Victor’s bright red Mercedes S-class.

Victor Gab was a rather inconspicuous guy, dark-haired with a half bald front head and he was a little bit chubby around his hips - to express it charmingly. Lucas estimated his age to be in his early forties.

   “What let you end up here - here on the countryside?” Lucas asked, who now showed his joy on the outside too, that he had a ride.

  “Chicks! - I’ve fled from my ‘soon-to-be ex-wife’, who’s probably just considering with my ex-girlfriend, how they can get rid of me the best way.”

Lucas had to grin - for the first time since his grandmother passed away.

Well, that guy wasn’t really looking exactly like a heart breaker. But now the ice was broken and they started talking. He found out that Victor Gab was a distinguished lawyer from St. Louis, who just allowed himself a small time out. In return, he enlightened him about the ‘older gal’ in whose house he was living now, and he apologized for his behavior at the front door.

   “See ya. Maybe we’ll have a brew sometime,” Victor said and let him get out of the car by the city park.

Therefrom, Lucas just needed to get across the street and he was at his old apartment.

   “Sure, I’m in. Thanks again for the ride,” he responded and disappeared into the park.

It was quite late when he came home. The handing over of the apartment passed off without any problems. It was a little weird to leave the small apartment, in which he was spending the last three years. But when his landlord gave him the in advance paid rent of half a month back in cash, the wistful feeling was also disappearing, because he currently really needed every single dime. Afterwards he met his mother and Jeff in a small café once again. He couldn’t explain to himself, why he was willing to meet them again. Probably because they wanted to leave the city that very same day - back to Texas, and he only wanted to make sure that they really disappear out of his life again. They didn’t talk quite a lot. Jeff didn’t take any part in that whole conversation, which you rather could call superficial. Instead, he picked with his fork quite bored at a slice of apple pie. In Lucas’ view, he was extremely arrogant. Like the way he sat there - in his ridiculous black Armani suit - and these more than obtrusive snake leather cowboy boots on his feet. Furthermore - in his opinion - his nose was way much too big for his face. Howsoever - it was the usual mother-son conversation like: “Get yourself a nice woman, who brings order to your life,“ or “Go and get yourself some civilized clothes,“ which inevitably had something to do with winning a decent woman. They didn’t speak a single word about his grandmother…

He was so glad when they finally set out to the airport.

   “Let yourself show up sometime, boy,” his mother said and she gave him a brief kiss on his cheek.

   “I don’t think so, mother,” he replied.

Jeff was shaking his hand - wordless, put on his oversized beige-colored Stetson cowboy hat and they disappeared into a taxi right away. Relieved, he watched them leaving, and after that, he set out on his way to the supermarket, because the fridge at home was empty.

The people on the bus shook their heads, as he came in with all these bags and made a neat mess, as he dropped two of them, and whose content spread throughout the entire length of the bus. But he didn’t care a copper.

In the big supermarket in the city - you really could buy at bargain prices. Lucas dragged eight big full-packed shopping bags into the kitchen. 

   “Crap, I forgot to turn on the fridge.”

He connected the plug and started with unpacking the bags. During the shopping, he felt quite hungry - because today he just consumed coffee and cigarettes - and after all - he hadn't eaten that much during the last few days. But even now - that the big, round kitchen table was so full of foodstuff - he only reached out for the beer. He took the six-pack and walked over to the living room. He could still clear up later - and besides, the fridge hadn’t reached its temperature yet. He switched on the TV, opened a can of beer, dropped himself into the sofa and placed his legs on the small antique coffee table. With the remote he switched from channel to channel, till he ended up with Casablanca and he decided to watch the movie, which had only just begun.

   “Play it, Sam…” Ingrid Bergman said and Lucas fell asleep - again on the sofa.  

When he opened up his eyes again, the TV was still running and the contents of half a can of beer had leaked all over his shirt. He got up and went to his big bag - which he already had opened, but which was still lying in the hallway. He took off the shirt and his T-shirt, fished out an old AC / DC T-shirt and put it on. Now he trotted into the kitchen, because finally, a few groceries wanted to be laid into the fridge. Meanwhile it was almost midnight and Lucas was wide awake again. In view of the fact that it was Friday night and he had to go to work on Monday again, it surely would have been more reasonable to go bed. But now, as the last package of macaroni with cheese in its noble microwave design was stowed in the cupboard, he remembered the dream with his grandmother… and so he decided to have a look at the attic. 

The old foldable chicken ladder, which led up to the attic, cracked loudly as he climbed up carefully. At the top, it was pitch-black and he obviously had trouble to find the light switch, hanging down at the light bulb. Carefully, he groped his way to the center of the attic, banging his head against the light bulb and switching it on right away.

It was very odd - it was just like in his dream. The little lightbulb really didn’t light up the room that well. But what he discovered afterwards, woke up many nice memories inside of him. The attic was full of old treasures, but these were just more of ideal value, like old lampshades, old oil paintings and lots of books.

   “Oh,” there was his old Twister game and Bernie, the one-eyed teddy bear without whom, he never could fell asleep as a child. He asked himself, how many years he hadn’t been on the attic - because as it appeared - his grandmother had stowed away his whole childhood up here. But intuitively, he was searching for something in particular and he found it at last under a big bag with old curtains, surrounded by boxes with old porcelain. There it was - that old black leather chest with its silvery fittings, which was looking like it sprang from the time period of the pirates. Only now, he remembered that in the past this old chest was placed downstairs in his child’s room, chock-full filled with toys. Lucas kneeled and opened the chest quite slowly. But instead of his old toys, he found a wedding dress packed in foil. Carefully, he took it out. It was a magnificent old wedding dress embroidered with pearls, and as he held it up that way, his view fell into the chest again. He looked at the bottom of it and discovered a light blue envelope and something that looked like a diary. He put the dress gently aside and took the envelope and the diary out of the chest. All at once - all that was quite scary to him, because on the envelope was an inscription in capital letters:

“FOR LUCAS”

He got up and went back to the middle of the attic to sit directly under the light bulb, which still swung easily to and fro. Slowly and deeply breathing, he opened the envelope and had a look into it. He pulled out a small bundle of bank notes.

   “Oh man!” At first sight, these were at least 3000 dollars.

He put the money next to him on the floor, because he discovered a sheet of writing paper too. Carefully, he took the letter out and read it...

My dear Lucas!

If you are reading this letter, then you know that it was time for me to leave. With all my heart, I thank you for your loving and caring you have given to me. As sad as this may sound, but you were the best thing my daughter ever produced, and for me you were an indescribable enrichment to my life. The most beautiful moments of my life, since your grandfather passed away - I owe to you. You are a very special human being, just like him. You really have a lot of him - inside of you. I put aside a few dollars for you over the last years. It is not very much, but for buying a car, which you will need now to get to the city, it is hopefully enough.

I will miss you, butter-bean. I kiss and embrace you!

In love your Nana

Lucas wiped away the tears from his face and breathed deeply…   “I miss you too, Nana.”

The pictures of the past few days were spinning in his head. The way he found her after her heavy stroke - and the ride to the hospital, which she no longer reached alive. Lucas was pretty confused. This had never happened to him before... Dead people, who give hints in a dream… That was really crazy and unrealistic. Suddenly, he was pulled out of his thoughts. Did that old brown lampshade, which lay on the floor possibly moved? A queasy feeling, followed by creeps overcame him. Quickly he took the money, the letter and the diary and jumped up. 

   “Ouch!” He banged his head against the pitch of the roof. He ignored the brief pain, climbed down the ladder and closed the hatch of the attic as fast as he could.

   “This is crazy,” he shook his head.

He went downstairs into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

   “No one’s gonna believe you that.”

He put the money, the letter and the diary on the table and went to the fridge. Actually, it had never been his nature to drink alcohol in stressful situations, but now, he urgently needed a beer. He opened it, drank a big gulp and sat down at the table again. Now he took the diary in his hands and regarded it from all sides. It was black and embellished with golden ledges at the edges. The fabric - of which the outside was covered - was finest velvet. Lucas opened the first page and read:       

The desire to alter the inevitable

is part of the human nature.

Every day is rewritten by his thinking and acting.

M. L., 1849

He closed the diary again and he took a closer look at it - from all sides. 

   “1849, you can’t be that old, and who the hell is M. L.?”

He asked himself loud, because the diary looked as if it was brand new. Well, maybe it’s just a quotation from a famous person.

He opened the diary again and flipped to the next page …

Dear diary!

This morning I was rudely awakened by Mimi. She kept ringing the bell to bring me her much sought-after cheesecake. She stayed about an hour and I had to eat cheesecake for breakfast at 10 am. She is still done in. When she left, I hit the hay again and I slept for three hours. I felt like throwing up, that’s why I took a stroll and met Sarah. How lovely she is, and when was the last time I saw her? We went to my place, ate Mimi’s cheesecake and talked all evening. Then, about 11 pm, she went home. I’m so happy that she is back again.

Moonville, March the 17th, 2007

Lucas looked at the big calendar which hung right next to the kitchen door. Today was the 16th of March, 2007. But - after all - that was her handwriting. He recognized his Nana’s handwriting.

   “Nana, looks like, that you’ve been a tiny little bit confused.”

He took the letter in his hand again. Without a doubt - that was the handwriting of his Nana. Curiously, he turned the pages, but the next pages were all empty. He snapped shut the diary and asked himself, why he didn’t notice that his grandmother apparently was a little muddle-headed lately. But there wasn’t the slightest hint to it at all. Maybe she only noted the wrong date. She was physically and mentally absolutely on top, till the last day. Finally, she could still climb up the stairs to the attic to deposit the diary and the letter, including the money into the chest - and that at the age of 79. Maybe, he would’ve found those things only in a few years, if he hadn’t dreamed about that by chance. And why did she put that diary to the farewell letter at all, where there was only a single entry to read? In spite of many questions and weird thoughts, his body demanded its rest. He took the money without counting it and put it together with the letter back into the envelope. Then he placed the envelope into the diary and went into the living room to lie down on the sofa. One last thought defeated his sleep for a few more minutes…

Sarah! Is she really in back in town?

Day 1

   “Lucas, I got something nice for you, my boy.” Mimi pressed the button of the bell continuously.

   “Oh man... Yeah - yeah. I’m coming!”

Drowsy, he staggered to the door and opened it.

   “Mimi, it’s still in the middle of the night.”

   “Nahhh! It’s already 10.00 am and look what I’ve got for you.”

Mimi held her yummy homemade cheesecake right in front of his face and straight away she squeezed through the door - past him by and headed straight into the kitchen.

   “Now you’re on your own and somebody has to take care of you.”

Mimi was his grandmother’s best friend and lived in the small old house right across the street. These both old ladies were inseparable for many, many years - just like two loving sisters. Mimi started to set the table and to brew coffee.

   “I know how you feel. I miss her so much…” Mimi started to sob, while she let run the water into the pot.

   “Mimi, sit down. Let me do this.”

Lucas - still sleepy - took the pot from her shaking hand.

   “What am I gonna do without her?”

   “I know what we’re gonna do now. Let’s have a yummy piece of cake.”

A little smile flickered across Mimi’s face, before she buried it into a big handkerchief and got rid of her nasal contents with total passion. Lucas sat down at the table and gently stroked her head.

   “I miss her too, Mimi… I miss her too …”

   “Do you also got the feeling that she is still around?” She brought out sobbing and Lucas nodded silently...

And so they sat together, ate cake and began to share their memories. It is always the case, that mourners remember only the beautiful and funny moments of their loved ones. And when Lucas thought about it, then there were actually only nice memories of his grandmother.

   “Oh geez, it’s almost eleven thirty. I gotta go. You know, if Hank doesn’t get his lunch on time, he is obnoxious for the rest of the day… You are such a good boy.”

Mimi pinched him into the left cheek, left the house and disappeared quickly into the house across the street.

Actually, Lucas wanted to take a shower, he really needed it more than urgently, but this unbelievable tiredness overcame him again. He left everything behind in the kitchen and trotted again into the living room right onto the sofa. Somehow, there he felt most comfortable. As soon as he lay down on the sofa, he directly fell asleep.

The sun blinded his face when he woke up again in the afternoon. Completely soaked in sweat, he trotted into the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out the milk. He was extremely thirsty and drank up half of the bottle. When the odor mixture of sweat and beer was reaching his nose, he felt that it was really time for him to take a shower. He went up to the bathroom and didn’t leave the shower, until his feet and hands were totally wrinkled. Somehow, he felt an internal nausea rising up inside of him, as he dried his hair by rubbing it with the towel. The ice-cold milk didn’t seem to be the right thirst-quencher, and so he decided to get dressed quickly and catch a little fresh air.

Lucas breathed deeply. After some steps, he felt a little bit better and so he walked aimlessly through the small suburb of Moonville. Without noticing it in the first place, he suddenly stood in front of the cemetery’s entrance. And if he was already there, he decided to check if everything was in order. He walked along the narrow path, passed by the - partly - very old graves. From the distance, he saw that somebody laid flowers on his grandmother’s grave.

   “Sarah!”

There she stood - laying a big bunch of sunflowers onto the grave. Unnoticed, he approached her.

   “Sarah,” he whispered softly from behind to her neck.

Winced, she turned around as fast as lightning.

   “Lucas!” They hugged each other and he let her feet float in the air. “I just heard about it this morning, I’m so sorry!”

   “Great to have you back,” he whispered into her ear.

Silently, they held each other for a while. They hadn’t seen each other for such a long time. Meanwhile, more than two years were passing by, but for him it seemed like half an eternity. A few years ago, Sarah had received a college place in California on the other side of the continent, and during the last years she was - if at all - just for Christmas in town. Her family had quite some problems too, and so she had to work very hard to finance her study.

   “And now - my gorgeous, are you a veterinarian?”

   “Yup, I’ve made it.”

He squeezed her once again quite firmly and let her slip gently back to the ground again.

   “Sis, I’m so glad you’re back,” he looked her deeply into her deep brown eyes. “You have no idea, how much we missed you... Nana and me.”

Sarah’s eyes filled up with tears.

   “I wish I could have said goodbye to her.” Lucas laid his hands softly on her cheeks, wiped her tears tenderly with his thumbs off her face and took her back in his arms again.

   “But now you’re here.”

Silently, they still hugged each other for a little while. 

   “Come on, let’s take a little walk,” he said.

He took her hand into his one and they left the cemetery. Aimlessly, they sauntered by the small village, which looked - as usual - like deserted. They had so much to talk about. And all of a sudden, it seemed as she had never been away at all. She talked about her study, about her failed relationship, the animals, her job as a waitress, about her fears and he - he just listened.

Finally, they stood in front of his door.

   “Come and join me. Mimi ambushed me this morning with her cheesecake, which would like to be eaten by you, too.”

   “Mmmmm, Mimi’s cheesecake… nobody can say no to that!”  

Sarah also connected her childhood with this house - so she first went through the rooms below. Meanwhile, Lucas quickly cleaned up the kitchen and set the table anew.

   “Nothing has changed here at all. I feel like Nana will come downstairs every moment and say hi.”

Lucas swallowed.

   “Coffee’s ready.”

They talked the whole evening through. Lucas told her about his job in the hospital, where he was working on the surgical ward.

   “Now, what are your future plans, does Paul still stand by his word?” He asked.

Paul Stone was a meanwhile elderly man with a small veterinarian practise here on the outskirts of Moonville.

He was a really amiable man, who offered her a job in his practise when she left the city - in case - she brought her study successfully to an end.

   “Oh yeah, I’m a real lucky duck. Paul urgently needs support. Not only the Oldfield farm keeps him very busy. He’s getting a bit long in the tooth, you know.”

Lucas glanced at her... He was so incredibly happy that she was nearby him again.

The evening was passing by very quickly, and when Sarah looked at her watch, it was already nearly 11 pm.

   “You can stay, if you want.”

   “Aunt Betty will be waiting for me for sure. How about lunch tomorrow? I can cook something delicious... here, at your house.” Lucas agreed and the both arranged to meet the next day at 1 pm. Not to mention again, that he was so happy to have his best friend and confidant back in town. He went to the fridge, took out a can of beer, went to the living room and dropped himself onto the sofa.

  “Ow.”

Lucas sat down exactly onto the diary, with which he had fallen asleep the night before. He took it and was vexed at the fact that he had forgotten to show it to Sarah. With one hand, he let slide the pages by his thumb, and there was still the envelope with the money. He took it out to count the money and noticed that he apparently had overlooked the following inscribed page in the diary.

Dear diary!

Today my new neighbor has invited himself for lunch and he has turned on Sarah quite nicely. He’s really a strange guy. Sis still can’t cook, but we were keeping a stiff upper lip. It was quite witty, but this Gab is creepy, somehow. Today I have to go to bed a little earlier, because tomorrow I have to work again.

Moonville, March the 18th, 2007

Lucas slammed shut the diary. 

   “Cool… Just be cool…”

He took a deep breath. There had to be a rational explanation for that. Sure, somebody was sneaking into the house and played a bad prank on him. But who? His body was full of goosebumps. It had to be somebody, who knew him very well. He opened the diary again. The handwriting! It was his grandmother’s handwriting again.

No problem, someone can copy that, but who the hell does something like that?

Actually, he was absolutely sure that this page wasn’t there yet - yesterday. But now, he doubted it. Maybe, he had overlooked this page after all. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t find an explanation for that entry… whatever… he wasn’t stupid. It was only three days ago, since Gab moved into the house next door, so why could he read something about him in the diary?

Maybe, he was living there for quite a while already. No, that swanky red Mercedes would surely have struck his eye.

   “Now you’re going nuts,” he said out loud and reached for the bottle of herbal schnapps, which stood in front of him on the coffee table. He raised the bottle to his mouth and let the last leftover run down his throat. Then he examined the diary from all sides one more time. He opened it and read the first entry again. And only now, he became aware of it that he had already read yesterday - what he had witnessed today. Mimi and her cake, he felt sick and he met Sarah. Lucas got up and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed his cigarettes and the bottle of Jack Daniels, which also was part of his purchase. He dropped himself onto the sofa again and drank the whisky straight from the bottle. He took the diary back in his hand. 

   “Cheers, maybe, you can write down the lottery numbers for me, sometime,” he said to the diary and took another big gulp of whiskey. “Luci, you got hallucinations!” He looked at the bottle and saw that he had already emptied half of it in record speed. “And now you’re even crocked.”

He lay down onto the sofa.

Now, he noticed that not only his thoughts were circling in his head, but also the living room. Tomorrow he would show Sarah the diary. She won’t think that he’s nuts, he thought and fell completely drunk asleep.

Day 2

As the thirst and the strong urge to empty his bladder contents woke him up the next morning, the sun wasn’t raised yet. After he visited the bathroom, he walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and reached for the milk bottle, on which he looked briefly, but then put it back into the fridge. Instead, he rather drank water straight from the tap. After the first thirst was quenched, he went back to the living room. He dropped himself onto the sofa, took his cigarettes and lit one. Thoughtfully, he stared at the diary, but he didn’t want to take it into his hands at this time. Instead, he reached for the envelope with the money. He counted it, and it was much more than he thought on the first sight. He was holding 4700 bucks in his hands. He put the money aside and read the farewell letter of his grandmother again. His eyes filled with tears once more. He leaned back and deeply inhaled the last puff from his cigarette. Sleep was out of the question anymore. However, he closed his eyes and let pass the pictures of the last days. When he opened his eyes again, he eyed the diary skeptically.

   “What the heck is going on?”

He took it into his hands and read both entries once again. How was that possible? Leery, he looked at the dedication. M.L. 1849. He couldn’t relate the initials to any of the classical poets he knew, and as much as he tried to remember, he never saw the diary in his grandmother’s hands. But it had to be hers, because, that she left it to him together with the letter as a legacy, was beyond question. How could it be that his experiences were written down in this diary, before they even happened? He decided to take a shower at first, before he later on would try to explain something, which was from his point of view - unexplainable. Besides, he had quite a hangover. He remained almost half an hour in the shower and when he left it, he saw that the sun was just rising. Slowly, he went down to the kitchen and cleared up the dining table, while the coffee - which ran through the machine - dispersed a pleasant aroma. For the first time in days, he was really hungry, and so he made himself a big cheese ‘n’ ham sandwich. He turned on the little old radio and listened to the oldie station that his grandmother loved to hear. He remembered her singing in a duet with Elvis. He tried to block out the topic ‘diary’, because he wasn’t making any progress with his thoughts, anyway. Sarah would certainly help him to find a reasonable explanation for it. With these thoughts and Elvis with Return to Sender in the background, he ate his sandwich and drank his coffee. Afterwards, he dressed up and started to clean up the living room and the kitchen. He didn’t take notice, how quickly the time had passed, until Sarah stood in front of the door and rang the doorbell.

   “Hey Sis, come in.”

   “I didn’t know if you’ve got any food in the fridge. So I robbed some T-Bone steaks out of Aunt Betty’s freezer.” Sarah came in, walked right into the kitchen and laid a freezer bag including 5 huge steaks onto the sink unit.

   “I hope you’re hungry... and you’ve got some sides in the fridge.” Lucas grinned while Sarah was opening the fridge and inspected the content precisely.

She took out a plastic box with instant coleslaw.

   “Do you have any potatoes?”

   “Not really.”

   “I just run over to Mimi and get us some,” she said, and as fast as she disappeared she was already back.

   “Did you know, actually, that you’ve got a supermarket right across the street?” She asked grinning, while she laid the bag with the potatoes into the sink.

   “Huh?”

   “Mimi has Steven’s old room converted into a supermarket for her Hank.”

Steven was Hank and Mimi’s son, who was married to a beautiful Mexican girl and lived with her in Mexico as well.

     “Well, that figures.” Lucas also had to grin, because he was picturing Hank in his mind. His weight was approximate - at least - 280 pounds and he was, besides that, only of average height.

   “So, what do you want? Mashed or fried potatoes?”

He decided on the fried potatoes and Sarah set to work. In the meantime, they were telling old stories to each other. For example, how Lucas fell from the big oak tree as a child and broke his arm, or how Sarah was caught red-handed in Roger’s garden as she swiped vegetables.

   “Oh crap.” She noticed that the steaks were - not only - just about to burn.

   “Come on, I’ll do it... this is a man’s job.” He took the fork from her hand and turned the steaks over.

The steaks looked pretty black on one side, but he said nothing and switched the oven down low. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

    “I go,” and Sarah was heading for the door.

A short time later, she returned in company.

   “Lucas, we’ve got one more guest for lunch,” and she pushed his new neighbor into the kitchen.

   “Actually, I only wanted to invite myself on a cup of coffee.”

Lucas screwed up his face, as he would rather have been alone with Sarah. But he turned around right away and welcomed him friendly.

   “Mr. Gab,” he welcomed him, while he reached out his hand with a tortured smile to him.

   “My friends call me Vic... and because we are neighbors now…“

   “Okay Vic. Have a seat,” she said vigorous and assigned him a chair.

She noticed that Lucas wasn’t really excited about his visit, but now she couldn’t just took back the invitation. Apart from that - there was more than enough to eat. Sarah set the table and when Lucas distributed the steaks on the plates, he secretly placed the most burned piece of meat on Vic’s plate.

   “Mmm, looks delicious.”

Vic cut off a thick piece for to taste it.

   “I’m sorry, the cooking spoon didn’t fell right into my lap, but I try to do my best,” Sarah remarked, but Vic’s glance fell on Lucas.

   “No, no, I screwed up the steaks,” she said.

   “Not screwed up - crispy - just the way I like it,” Lucas said, while he put one of the steaks down on his plate.

   “No… tastes super,” Vic said, who obviously had problems to chew the meat, but he was deft hiding it.

At this moment Lucas knew that he was either crazy, or he really had an unbelievable book lying next door on the sofa. He felt like being in a déjà vu, but it was none. The last entry in the diary, he only now became aware of - now as the burned steaks were lying on the plates. They ate calmly and Victor Gab told them about his job and that he was married and had no children. The fact, that he also had a lover - that of course - he didn’t mention in the presence of Sarah. Then he went on talking about his job. He told about a married couple which he represented, who, went to a marriage counsellor. Unfortunately, both of them were so discontented with the therapist that both of them tied him butt naked to a tree in the park with a sign around his neck, on which was written: I’m naked and I’m talking baloney. He told nothing else but such abstruse stories, and he really had funny anecdotes to tell. Partly incredible - partly comprehensible. But such stories are always lying in the eye of the beholder… Lucas and Sarah were obviously amused by the weird world of crimes, but in between, Lucas facial expression was petrified - namely always, when Gab patted Sarah’s hand, or he stared at her wide-eyed. Lucas paid scrupulously attention to every minor detail. For him, he suddenly had something sneaky in his eyes, which was in complete contradiction to his whole appearance. But that was the way he felt. For him, Sarah was like his little sister, which he had always protected since their childhood. Of course, he also understood that Sarah was now an attractive young woman and not the little snotnose with the long black Amerindians pigtails anymore.

   “Well, now I’ve gotta set out to next door. I’ve still got some paperwork to do and need to fax it to my office,” Gab said.

Meanwhile three hours had passed by.

   “Oh, that’s too bad. We absolutely have to repeat that, sometimes,” Sarah said.

   “Next time I’ll cook,” Gab said.

   “Okay, deal,” she replied and Lucas nodded reluctant.

They accompanied him to the door and looked at him as he disappeared into his house.

   “This is really a nice guy,” she said.

   “Sure, if you like small, fat baldies,” Lucas replied, grinning.

She punched him with the words ‘you jerk’ on his upper arm.

   “Sis, there’s something I really need to show you.” He became serious, took Sarah’s hand and pulled her into the living room.

He took the diary from the sofa and handed it over to her - including the letter.

   “Here, you must take a look at that. Nana gave it to me including that letter and I really want to know what you think about that.” Sarah laid the diary back on the table.

She took the letter and read it. Afterwards she wiped herself a tear of the cheek.

   “She was a wonderful woman, Lucas, and you can feel blessed, that she was part of your life for such a long time.”

Sarah was - just equally like him - not favored by fortune of having healthy family life. Her father was unknown and one day her mother disappeared without a trace. It was rumored she gave her love to a pimp, who kidnapped her afterwards - which like said - was just a rumor. Her extremely rigorous Aunt Betty raised her all alone, because there was no ‘Uncle Betty’, too. She put the letter back on the table and dedicated herself intensely to the diary.  

   “This is a nice diary, but isn’t it more something for girls?”

She opened it and Lucas became as white as a sheet.

All pages - they were empty. Speechless, he took the diary out of her hand and turned the pages by himself once again, but there was nothing. Everything was gone, even the dedication wasn’t there anymore. Lucas was really pale and so he was trying not to let show that everything in the room was spinning around him.

   “And? Do you want to use it?” She asked. “If not, you’re welcome to hand it over to me... I’m a girl, you know.”  She was laughing and he made an effort for to smile just a little bit.

   “No, no, maybe I’ll use it - sometime.” He tried to grin.

   “I’m sure Nana had something in mind... of leaving it to me.”

   “Yeah, probably… Come on, let’s clean up.”

Sarah took the diary out of his hand, looked at it with shining eyes once again, laid it back on the table and pushed Lucas back into the kitchen. They started with the clean-up operation and Sarah was talking about something during the whole time, but he didn’t really listen. His thoughts twiddled around this diary. That didn’t make any sense at all. Why were all the diary pages empty? Did he just dream all that? Maybe it was the alcohol.

Damned alcohol, he thought.

   “Lucas, do you even listen to me?” She gently pricked him with the fork - which she had just dried - into his hip, and her eyes fell on the clock on the wall.

   “Ups, it’s almost 5. I’ve gotta go. Tomorrow’s my first working day and it will start at 5 am. Yes and Aunt Betty will kill me, if I don’t put away my suitcases today and bring order to my room.” She laid the fork into the cutlery tray and turned to him.

   “Sorry Sis, if I acted a little weird today, but I’m still in a complete tizzy.” She looked compassionately at him and he accompanied her silently to the door.   

   “If you need me, you know where you can find me,” she said and took his hands in hers. She pulled him down to her and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

   “I know,” he whispered in her ear. Then she left the house.

He was standing at the doorsteps for a little while, until she had completely disappeared from his field of view. Then he quickly closed the door and headed straight for the diary. He took it in his hand and opened it.

It was unbelievable and he couldn’t believe his eyes, because all entries were all over sudden back again. Irritated he threw the diary on the table and himself onto the sofa. He lit the last cigarette from his packet and all at once became quite calm. What if the diary could really predict the future and the content of the diary was only intended for him? At this moment that was the only logical explanation for him, finally, everything had disappeared when he showed it to Sarah. Illogical, however, was the whole existence of this book, which filled itself - as if by magic - with future entries. Lucas had always been a down-to-earth person, who never believed in supernatural stuff, and he always made fun of others, who were telling of any supernatural experiences. But now, he was right in the middle of such an experience. He stubbed out the cigarette and closed his eyes. Spiritually and physically totally overburdened he fell asleep.

“It’s time,” a deep man’s voice breathed into his ear.

The whole living room was shrouded by a blazing bright fog. Scared, he looked around. At the end of the sofa, he discovered the outline of a shape, but the fog made it impossible for him to recognize, who or what there was standing.

Quick as a flash he jumped up, but the fog had disappeared, and with it also this hazy shape. Did he dream or not? He got up and went into the kitchen, let the water run from the tap and poured himself lots of cold water into the face - with both hands. As he was towelling the face with a dish towel, which Sarah was using for drying up the dishes before, his look fell at the big old wooden kitchen clock. It was just 5.20 pm. He had the feeling, as if he had slept a few hours, but it had been only five to ten minutes at the most - if at all. He was interrupted in his thoughts, because his mobile rang. He went to the hallway and pulled the mobile out of his jacket pocket.

   “Yeah - hello?” 

   “Shawn’s here. Can you take over the morning shift for me tomorrow? I’ve got something really urgent I need to take care of.”  

   “Humph … okay,” he answered with a little reluctance.

   “How’s it hanging, dude? Is everything okay with you? I wanted to get in touch, but I let it go - you know - I thought you’d rather like to have your peace.”

   “That’s okay Shawn, I’m fine.” 

   “OK, see ya.”

   “All right, so long.”

Lucas snapped shut his mobile and lay it down on the kitchen table. Shawn Jones had moved down here from Boston about a year ago and Lucas had chummed up with him. Lucas didn’t have that many friends... Shawn was a crazy guy, so Lucas didn’t even ask why he should fill in for him. He knew, that he would explain it to him later. Certainly a woman was behind it again. But now he had to be in the hospital already at 6 in the morning by tomorrow.

Somehow that didn’t fit his plans, but Shawn was his buddy after all. He went back to the hallway and took a new pack of cigarettes out of his pocket jacket. Afterwards, he took a beer out of the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table. Tomorrow, he would buy a car with the money his Nana left to him. His Nana was the best, he thought and therefore the diary couldn’t be as bad as well. And again he tried to block out his thoughts about the diary. Furthermore, he was a little bit hungry again and so he went to the fridge. He took out the box of coleslaw and went back to the living room, where he sat down on the sofa. Then he switched on the TV and ate the leftovers straight out of the box, while he was zapping through the stations between every bite. Actually, he was really happy that he could go to work again, so it was basically immaterial whether it was the early or late shift. His life was completely turned upside down within the last days, and now the time had come to get back in the daily routine again. Maybe, the mysterious shape in the fog had tried to say exactly that. It became time again to confront himself to the everyday things of life. In despite of all grief... his life went on.

The time was passing by while he kept on zapping, paused here and there, and in between supplied himself with beer and potato chips.

   “Oh, Men in Black.”

Now he had finally found exactly that kind of entertainment he needed. The movie had just begun and so he let himself wash over it. But still he looked at the table again and again. Even though he tried to suppress it - the diary was keeping him under its spell.

Day 3

When the movie was over, he thought about sleeping in his old bedroom again - after all - he couldn’t sleep on the sofa all the time. At the age of 32, your back can sometimes hurt a little when you sleep on a couch that is too small… His thoughts wandered off. He thought of his old professor of medicine at the university, who so aptly remarked:

“The human body is only designed for thirty years - because starting from the age of thirty, the physical and mental decay begins.”

Oh man, that was a pretty quirky guy... Then it occurred to him - and once again his thoughts were faltering... That's exactly how it was written in the diary. He sat up, put the bag of potato-chips aside and took the diary in his hands. As soon as he opened it, he directly noticed that there was a new entry again.

Dear diary!

Today I really made a great bargain. A black Dodge Ram pickup truck for only 2500 bucks. Good for me! Now I still have got a small cash reserve. Sarah likes the car too. She went for a ride with it right away. It felt good to work today, even though I was so exhausted. Miss Keane is on my ward - yet again. Broken hip. This old lady is great. She reminds me quite a lot of Nana!

Moonville, March the 19th, 2007

Now he had to take a deep breath again. He looked again at yesterday’s entry. Convinced that he was not mentally disordered, he realized that there was not the slightest doubt that his grandmother had left him something very special. However, what made him think again was the fact that she didn’t mention it in her farewell letter. He closed the diary and leaned back.

In his thoughts he travelled back into the past…

He was 6 years old and he - once again - fled from the ‘fat Dan’ from the neighborhood. It was already very late and the sun had set for a long time ago. As so many times before, he had forgotten the time. His grandmother sat on the small illuminated porch in her bright floral-print summer dress and was busy knitting a thick sweater for him. Like a whirlwind, he ran towards her and hid behind her, while fat Dan feigned innocence and crept very slowly past the house.

   “Lucas-darling, you can’t always hide.”

   “Yes, but Nana, he is sooo so big and fat... and, and he is so much stronger than me. He will crush me,” he answered hasty.

   “Oh, I see... Come on butter-bean, let me tell you something,” she said, laying her knitting stuff aside and lifted him onto her lap. “You know my angel... some things in life settle itself without any help. You just need a little patience. I’m pretty sure he’ll get his punishment for it someday.”  

   “Really Nana? But this must to be today, because tomorrow he will clobber me again.”

   “No my darling - not today, but tomorrow… maybe.” She took him firmly in her arms…

Yes... now he remembered it again. The very next day, fat Dan was run over by a heavy truck and was killed outright. She must have known, but if she had known, then she could have prevented the accident. On the other hand, maybe it was simply his destiny to be run over on his way to the candy store.

But Lucas was now convinced that she was using the diary. He took the diary, turned off the lights in the living room and went upstairs into his bedroom. Carefully - like a treasure - he put it on the night stand, got undressed and went to bed. He set the alarm on 4.32 am. He closed his eyes with thoughts of his nana. In his thoughts, he heard Yesterday from the Beatles and he saw his grandmother in his mind’s eye... as she stroked his head and said:

   “Butter-bean, you really have to sleep now.”

He hit the snooze button twice when the clock radio powered up. When the alarm sounded a third time, he heard the voice of the radio host...

   “It’s time, folks…” 

Lucas startled. Now it was really high time to get up. He only had barely half an hour, till the bus set off in the direction of the city. Quickly he got up and hopped under the shower, where he - conveniently - also shaved. In the rush, he inflicted himself two relatively deep cuts with the shaver.

At a tearing pace, he put on his clothes and ran down the stairs rapidly. He was running out of time. He quickly put on his leather jacket, grabbed his mobile and the keys and ran through the door.

   “Crap!” He shouted after a few yards, because he had forgotten the money.

He ran back fast, reached for the envelope on the coffee table and ran out again. He made it just in time to the bus stop and got in. His way led him to the very back, because sitting in the last row, he liked best.

Whew, that was close, he thought, running his hands through his still wet hair as the bus slowly began to move. At the next stop, an elderly woman got in and sat down in the row right in front of him.

The woman directly turned around to Lucas and stared at him with a bloodcurdling expression on her face.

   “You shall not tempt fate, my friend.”

   “Excuse me? What did you say?”

   “I said you have pretty much blood on your face.” The old woman with her wrinkled face smiled at him and stretched a snow-white handkerchief to him.

Visibly startled and completely irritated, he brought out a faint and intimidated ‘thanks’. He buried himself quite deeply in his seat and dabbed his face with the handkerchief. The old woman was already getting out at the next bus stop and he was looking back after her. Completely motionless, she stood there at the bus stop. With the same creepily and fossilized expression on her face, she stared him directly in the eyes, as the bus started to move again. In the light of the lantern, her wrinkles had grown into deep black furrows, which were contrasting strongly from her cadaverous face. Their eyes met for a while, until she disappeared by the moving bus into the darkness. Now he was all alone in the back of the bus again, and he was wide awake.

   “What the hell was that?” He asked himself loudly.

He had never seen this woman in this area before. He continued to dab his cuts in his face and decided that he had only misheard himself. But that woman... she was really kind of scary. Yes and that black dress that she was wearing looked like, as if it was from the turn-of-the-century.

The rest of the bus trip went by very quickly and he arrived at the hospital.

    “Hi Steve.” Lucas greeted the man at the reception.

    “Hey Lucas! Are you ok?” Lucas passed him by with his thumbs up and got into the old elevator, which still was from back of the 70’s and rattled quite a lot during the ride.

As he reached his ward, he went to the break room and changed his clothes.

   “Lucas, are you alright?” Laura - one of his colleagues - asked.

He knew that everybody was pretty much concerned about him, because he was very popular to his colleagues and superiors. But - nonetheless - these pitying glances were very uncomfortable to him.

   “I’m good, thanks.” Laura noticed right away, that he seemed a little annoyed, and therefore she wasn’t going into details about his loss.

   “You don’t believe who’s back.”

   “Miss Keane, right?”

   “Ah, you’ve already met Jenny.”

Lucas, who wasn’t surprised as much at this moment didn’t answer the question.

   “Hip broken, right?”

   “Yes, that’s right. She was already asking for you. She’s in 308.” Lucas smiled at Laura, who glanced - a little irritated - back at him, and he went towards room 308.

Slowly he opened the door.

   “Miss Keane... What have you been up to, this time?” She was a 78-year-old woman. By her own admission, she was never married and she suffered from a significant pronounced osteoporosis. She had snow-white full hair and bright blue eyes. She was a constant guest in the hospital. Fractured arm, fractured leg, partially fractured ribs and still a lot more. “Well, soon you will be done - with all of your bones... Good morning, Miss Keane.”

He approached to her and he fluffed up her cushion.

   “Oh Lucas, it is so nice to see you again, dear.”

At first, he was smiling and then he became serious again. He sat down on the edge of the bed and scowled at her.

   “After the last broken leg you promised me to take care of you even more.”

   “I tried, dear, I really tried. But then I had a great longing for you,” she said and patted affectionately his hand. Lucas was grinning embarrassed, while Miss Keane glanced at him with a mischievous smile.

   “You are really something.”

He really liked that old lady. At this moment, she truly reminded him of his grandmother. She also had that gentle and affectionate charisma.

   “I’ve heard that about your grandmother, Lucas. I’m really sorry.” Miss Keane took his hand and looked him deeply into the eyes.

   “Death appertains to life, dear, and every farewell also means a reencounter. Grief is only the trial of patience for the living.”

He nodded, because he knew from former conversations with her that she had no relatives. The only child of a single-child marriage, she always commented. Quite several times in the past, she was telling full of joy, about meeting again her parents and all of her deceased pets in the afterworld. During each of her stays in the hospital she was talking of a better life after death.

   “I will give greetings to your grandmother from you... when my time has come,” she said.

Lucas patted her hand.

   “So, now I’m gonna get you a nice breakfast for a start,” he changed quickly the subject. “I’ll be back in a second.”

He left the room, and together with Jenny and Laura, he started to distribute the breakfast-platters. While he served the food, he thought about the diary… over and over again. All the remaining doubts about his mind had been dispelled now - or maybe not? He was awake and everything that he had read about the future had become reality. Suddenly a feeling of invincibility came over him. If he knew what would happen the next day, then he would always have everything under control in all situations.

   “Lucas, good to have you back,” Nurse Jenny interrupted his thoughts.

Jenny was secretly in love with Lucas - already for a very long time - but he never perceived it. She was the type of woman, who didn’t particularly catch men’s eyes. Inconspicuous and shy, that’s what she was. Her chestnut brown hair always was rigorous tied from the front backwards into a pigtail, and the slightly, larger horn-rimmed glasses made her look like the classical wallflower. She never talked much with him or other colleagues, but with the patients she was incredibly lovingly.

   “Yeah, I’m also glad to be back again.”

Lucas looked straight into her eyes, but her gaze lowered intimidated fast down to the floor.

   “Shawn was driving me nuts, where’s that moron anyway?” Laura was shouting, who just came by and took a new tray from the trolley. Lucas shrugged his shoulders.

   “By the way, today we’re getting a new duty roster. I can’t and I won’t work with that jerk anymore.”

As it comes to Shawn there were just two possibilities. Either you loved him, or you hated him. It’s not everybody’s taste to have a colleague, who was moving around the ward by singing and dancing, which - by the way - went down well by most of the patients. The women’s world in general was extremely fast falling for him, because he was changing the women like other people their socks. That wasn’t only because of his buff body, his green eyes and his long brown hair, no - he had that certain kind of charm, which almost all women’s hearts couldn’t resist. The chemistry between Laura and Shawn simply didn’t add up. A bon vivant and a woman in whom Lucas had lately discovered bad habits that reminded him strongly of his mother. Besides, Laura was dating Doctor Brown since lately, which was an open secret. Maybe that was the reason, why she became more and more a Babbitt during the last months. Whether Mrs. Doctor Brown knew about it... that, nobody knew exactly. Lucas was looking forward to it. Maybe he had the chance to spend a shift together with Shawn again, instead of meeting him only on the shift changeover, or on one of the rare occasions to grab a beer at Jim’s bar. Lucas was fast back in the hospital routine and the day went by very quickly in the working rush. Many people put their hands on his shoulders that day, even the head of the hospital, Ian Ward, showed his sympathy. His shift quickly passed by in despite of his steadily increasing tiredness. Finally he stood in the break room and slipped back into his street clothes when the door opened.

   “Hey baby! From Wednesday on - Rock ‘n’ Roll is back on the night shift.” Shawn stood in the doorframe - in victory pose - with his arms raised up.

Lucas had to grin and they high-fived, like two football players after the crucial touchdown.

   “Laura, that old crank did us a great favor.”

   “The new roster is already out?”

   “You know, when you do it with the right guys, everything goes a bit faster.”

   “Look who’s talking!” Lucas said, smiling. “I gotta go and buy a car,” and he put on his jacket.

   “Hey dude, see ya the day after tomorrow… and don’t buy anything that I wouldn’t buy.”

   “Take care.” Lucas said grinning and thereupon he left the hospital.

About two and a half miles away, there was a large used car dealer. Lucas decided to take a cab. After the first day of work, he felt exhausted in the end, and the bus that was heading in that direction was already gone before he reached it. Now moreover, he could afford it. Once there, his tiredness had disappeared with excitement. Single-minded, he went by the incredible lots of rows of used cars, finally he knew for sure what he was looking for. Then he stood in front of the car. A black Dodge Ram Pickup. The only thing that didn’t fit completely to the diary entry, but came most near to it, that was the price tag:  3000 Dollars.

   “The car is impeccable and first-hand, but this baby already has 195,000 miles on the clock, but is only seven years old,” Lucas hadn’t noticed that a salesman had approached him, so he flinched. “This baby is here long enough, and if you pay cash, I’ll give you a 500 Dollar discount.” Lucas turned around and shook hands with the salesman.

   “Okay, done.”

The salesman glanced a little incredulous. He made the impression as if he’d never sold a car that fast in his whole career, what was most likely even the case. Eventually, Lucas hadn’t even looked at the car from the inside - let alone insisted on a test drive. But the stunned face of the salesman quickly turned into a contented one. They went to his office and did all the paperwork, so that Lucas could take the car with him right away. The car performed great and was very comfy. It even had a radio with a CD-player. The dashboard had a few signs of use, but that didn’t bother him, because apart from that, the car was really well-maintained. He turned on the radio and even his favorite station was set.

   “100% Classic rock,” he heard the radio host saying, and Highway to Hell by AC/DC sounded right away. Lucas was happy and thanked his grandmother at least a 1000 times on his ride back home.

   “Hey, snazzy car,” Gab shouted to him as he got out in front of his house.

Gab was busy mowing the lawn of his front yard.

   “Lucas, here’s my card... there are some freaky guys out there, driving around.”

Gab held out his business card to him and inspected the car from all sides. It was pretty strange that a man, who was just mowing his lawn in the dusk, conjured a business card out of his pants. But Lucas wasn’t surprised at all. For him this guy wasn’t still quite right anyway. He took the card and put it into his wallet. Gab turned off his mower and got two bottles of beer from his porch. He held out one bottle to Lucas.

   “Here you go... a toast to your new car.”

Of course he didn’t say no to that, and so both sat down on the porch landing. 

   “Gardening... that’s what I’m talking about.... I can feel how the big-city-stench escapes out of all my pores.”

They touched bottles and took a hearty gulp at the same time. Lucas was staring at his new car the whole time.

   “Who’s that one over there?”

Gab pointed with his index finger at Mimi’s house across the street. Lucas only saw that the curtains of the living room window were moving.

   “Oh, that was Mimi, a very kind old lady. She’s living over there with her husband Hank, but you probably won’t see him. He didn’t leave the house in years.”

   “Is he sick?” 

   “Not really... at least I think so. Let’s say - he’s rather some kind of... lazy.” 

   “Hey! You guys over there, is there any beer left for me?”

Suddenly Sarah stood completely unnoticed in front of them.

   “Aunt Betty is sending me,” she held a Tupperware box filled with lasagna out towards him.

    “Here, that’s for you, with this - you don’t have to starve to death.” Lucas took the box, while Sarah already turned round and eyed up the car.

   “Is that yours?”

   “Yup, bought it today.”

She walked around the car and then she stopped in front of the hood.

   “Keys!” She said demanding and Lucas threw the ignition key to her right away. She got in and drove away.

   “That one is a stunner. If I were you I would marry her right away.”

   “Oh no, we’re just friends,” Lucas replied quickly and was annoyed by himself in that moment that he hadn’t kept his mouth shut. Why couldn’t he just let him believe that they were a couple? Gab had the free ticket to hit on her now.

   “Oh... I thought that you were a couple,” Gab sounded surprised and Lucas kept silent for a moment.

   “I think I’d rather go inside, before that stuff gets cold. Thanks for the beer.”

   “Anytime my friend - anytime,” Gab replied, raised his bottle and gave him a toast for goodbye.

Lucas put the empty bottle down on the porch and went over into his house. First he took off his jacket and afterwards he went into the kitchen. He took a fork out of the drawer, sat down to the table and started to eat up the lasagna out of the box. It was lukewarm and still eatable. The lasagna was half eaten when Sarah came through the door.

   “Great ride,” she said enthusiastically and sat down to him at the table.

   “Great lasagna,” he replied with his stuffed mouth. “Send Aunt Betty my compliments, I’ll return that favor.”

   “Phew, I’m dog-tired. Today I gave birth to 2 calves and 8 piglets, not bad, huh?”

She laid her head on the table.

   “Ahem yeah... I can smell that,” and both started to laugh.

   “I’m leaving, I really need to take a shower,” she said and punched him, with a big smile on her face, on his upper arm.

   “Ow,” he brought out laughing. “I think this is for the best for both of us,” he said grinning, led her to the door and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

   “Are we gonna meet tomorrow evening? My night shift starting on Wednesday, you know,” he asked. “We can catch a burger at Sally’s if you want - I’ll pay.”

   “Sounds good to me. Pick me up at 7,” she replied and disappeared into the darkness.

He had the feeling that Sarah hadn’t been away at all. This deep attachment probably would never disappear. Filled up with lasagna, the exhaustion came over him, and when he looked at the clock, it was only shortly after 7:30. This day was definitely over. But as tired as he was, curiosity for tomorrow’s day pulled him upstairs to his bedroom. There it was - in front of him on the nightstand. He took it and went down to the kitchen. But before he opened it, he fetched a beer out of the fridge and the cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. He sat down, lit a cigarette and took a big gulp from the can. He took a deep breath before he opened it.

Dear diary!

Today I saw this old woman from the bus again. I still don’t know what to make of this. Apart from that, the day was smooth. I really bought a great car! I was at Sally’s with Sarah, and all over sudden Gab appeared - again! That guy tries to brownnose himself pretty good. I still don’t really know what

to think about him. I miss Nana so much. I often think of her.

Moonville, March the 20th, 2007

He closed the diary and leaned back.

That woman from the bus! He already erased her out of his memory... till now. The thought of her last facial expression at the bus stop appeared to him and made him shiver a little. But maybe she only had that effect on him because of the darkness, and finally she was so kind to hand him a handkerchief. Besides, no one is self-made. And the fact that he didn’t know her was meaningless, too. After all, you cannot know everyone. He finished his beer, went upstairs and lay down on the bed. Now he was so tired that he didn’t even get upset about Gab.

Lucas closed his eyes and fell asleep right away.

Day 4

   “Hello, my dear, wake up,” he heard the voice of his grandmother saying, but his eyelids were just too heavy. He couldn’t open them. “You need to be careful, they want…”

The radio alarm clock switched on loudly, and that made him jump up. He had forgotten to set the alarm anew. It was only shortly after four thirty. He didn’t need to drive by bus anymore, so he woke up at least half an hour too early. But since he had fallen asleep very early yesterday, he decided not to press the snooze button and not put himself under time pressure this morning - besides, he felt rested at that moment. So he got up and took a shower. Then he made coffee and ate a large bowl of cornflakes. Not that bad after all, he thought. However, he knew that this wouldn’t always succeed in the future. Once a sleepyhead - always a sleepyhead, and with the shift work this wasn’t always possible anyway. He took the diary again. But there was no new entry for tomorrow. He closed it, and this time he laid it into the living room cupboard. Now it slowly became time to hit the road and he was quite looking forward on the ride in his new car.

There was a lot going on at the ward, but in despite of all the stress, he took time and looked after Miss Keane at first. At least he had to tell her that they wouldn’t see each other that often in the next four weeks.

   “So I will stay awake that long, till your shift begins and you’ve wished me a good night,” Miss Keane said and smiled.

The rest of the day ran by as smooth as it had been predicted by the diary. Although, it was partially a little stressful, but this was lastly belonging to the regular daily routine on the ward. However, the working day was over as fast as it had started. Finally Lucas changed his clothes. He missed Shawn, who - once again – didn’t arrive sharp on time for his night shift. Well, at the latest they would meet tomorrow evening at 10. He left the break room and as he came out of the door, he held his breath and froze. That old woman from the bus was walking along the hallway, straight up past him. But what he wasn’t expecting was, that this woman was pushing a cleaning cart in front and wore the working clothes of the cleaning staff. Completely irritated, he looked after her and watched as she stepped into the elevator. She turned around, looked at him and smiled before the elevator door closed.

He ran fast to Lucy, who was working at the small reception of the ward.

   “Hey Lucy, who was that new cleaning lady?”

   “Who?”

   “This older cleaning lady, who just stepped into the elevator.”

   “Sorry, I haven’t seen a cleaning lady. Mike was just walking past me, but he’s not really a woman.”

Mike was employed for half an eternity as a housekeeper on this ward. Lucas turned around and walked along the hallway. At the other end stood Mike’s cleaning cart and exactly at this moment, he came out of the storage room.

   “Yo Lucas, you’re all right?”

   “Sure Mike, but tell me, who’s your new support?”

   “Support? What are you talking about?”

   “Well, that older woman with the cleaning cart, who just stepped into the elevator.”

   “I didn’t see an elderly woman … I’m sorry. I don’t know who you saw, but there are no older ladies in our team.” Mike shook his head, took his mop and started to clean the floor.

Lucas was confused. She wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. Neither today nor yesterday. He went to the elevator and pushed the button. He put his hands in his jacket pocket and noticed that the handkerchief - that the old woman handed him on the bus yesterday - was still inside. He took it out and looked at it. It’s just one ordinary paper tissue. It is real, just like that woman, and he stepped into the elevator.

Tomorrow, he would interview a few patients. Someone must have seen her…

Lucas left the hospital and enjoyed the ride home. Actually, he was quite a bit hungry when he came home. There were at least two hours left, until he would pick up Sarah for dinner. Anyhow, he had to kill that time somehow and so he applied himself to his big bag, which was still lying in the hallway. He took the bag and went upstairs to his bedroom, where he stowed away his stuff in the dresser and the closet. He noticed that he didn’t enter his grandmother’s bedroom so far… After he’d stowed away all his stuff and changed his clothes, he stopped for a short moment in front of her bedroom door, but still he went downstairs again. Tomorrow, he had time all day, until the night shift began. Maybe then, he would take a look into that room. It would certainly hurt, because the whole bedroom was filled with so many lovely memories. He went to the living room and took the diary out of the cupboard. But there wasn’t a new entry.

Maybe the diary wasn’t working anymore. He put it on the table - right in front of him. Should he tell Sarah about it sometime? But straight away, he was negating his own question. So he was dawdling away for the rest of the time, till their meeting, more or less. Then it occurred to him that he still had to thank Aunt Betty for her yesterday’s lasagna. He really didn’t take it for granted that she did him any good. Since his childhood, he had the feeling that she didn’t particularly like him. So he got quickly in his car and bought a small colorful bouquet of flowers at the next bigger gas station. It was already shortly after seven when he arrived at Sarah’s. Aunt Betty opened the door.

   “Hello, Lucas, my dear boy.”

   “Hi Aunt Betty, here… these are for you.”

   “Oh, you don’t have to do this,” she said with a big smile of joy as he handed the flowers over to her.

   “Please come in ... Sar-raahhh! Lucas is here,” she yelled upstairs.

She led him into the kitchen-cum-living room and they sat down at the large - decorated with chrome - dining table, which still had to come from the fifties. She took his hand.

   “Are you really okay? I still have to think about the funeral every day.”

He took a deep breath, but he was genuinely surprised by the very caring Aunt Betty and also by the fact that he couldn’t even remember that he saw her at the funeral at all.

   “It all just happened so fast. One day ahead we made jokes about Hank and the next day she is just dead.”

He didn’t know what to say, but fortunately for him, Sarah came into the kitchen at that very moment. She approached to Lucas and hugged him.

   “Here... take a whiff... I smell damn good today, do I?”

She was looking gorgeous. She was wearing blue jeans and a white low-cut shirt, and she was wearing her long black hair open.

   “Meh... a little too much perfume”, he countered, for which he - once again - received a punch on the upper arm.

   “Let’s go Sis. I’m starving.”

   “Have fun,” Aunt Betty said and both left the house.

They drove towards the city center. Halfway there was Sally’s diner. Sally was a woman in her mid-sixties, who virtually grew up in that restaurant that she inherited from her parents. And you really could taste that... she had the best burgers in the southeast of the United States. Many truckers stopped there and the diner was mostly crowded. That evening, however, it was relatively empty with only six people sitting at the long chrome counter. They sat down at a table by the window.

   “Hey Sarah. You’re back in town… Good to see you again, sweetheart,” she was welcomed by Sally. “Nice to see you both. Let me guess… you want the usual?”

They looked at each other, nodded with a smile and thereupon Sally disappeared into the kitchen.

   “This diner will certainly look the same in a hundred years as it does now,” Sarah said and he was grinning.

   “I guess this diner belongs to Sally already a hundred years. How old do you think she might be, 118?”

 Sarah laughed out loud.

   “Do you still remember how we went down here by bike?”…

The two really had a lot of old stories to tell. Most of the time Sarah was talking and Lucas just listened. She made him feel so good, and yet sometimes he was a bit lost in thought for a moment. He finally expected Victor Gab to come through the door every minute. Therefore, he kept looking through the window until dinner was served.

   “Here they are. Two monster hamburgers for my favorite guests.” Sally put down a huge plate on the table for each of them.

   “Phew, well then... let’s dig in.”

Sarah started to eat a few fries with her hands. Lucas was shaking the ketchup bottle when the doorbell rang. It was the way how it should be...Victor Gab came in and went straight up to their table.

   “Hey, what a surprise, I’ve passed this diner a few times, but today I stopped for the first time.”

Who’s the jerk he wants to tell that? Lucas thought. He certainly saw his new car in front of the door, and both sitting in the middle of the window.

   “Oh, that looks really great. Waitress! Would you please get me the same and a cold beer.” Gab shouted while he was still standing. Lucas whispered to Sarah…

   “The big bowl of mixed salad might be the better choice,” what got him a kick by Sarah under the table.

   “Hey Vic, please sit down and join us.” Sarah was pulling Gab at his sleeve and placed him next to her on the turquoise-colored bench.

   “Okay, mister,” Sally shouted across.

The evening was kind of boring. From Lucas’ point of view it was only insignificant and superficial blah-blah. They talked about food, beer and how much everyone could tolerate, the weather and not forgetting to mention - what cows and pigs love to eat.

   “I think we have to leave, I need to get up pretty early by tomorrow,” Sarah said and she was pointing to the big pink neon clock on the opposite wall. It was already close to ten thirty. Lucas took out his wallet and wanted to pay.

   “That’s okay... this one’s on me,” Gab took out a bundle of several hundred dollars bills out of his jacket pocket. “I still owe you that one for the steak.”

Lucas let him pay, because this bundle of dollar bills was really quite impressive. Afterwards they said goodbye with the words ‘See ya!’ and Lucas took Sarah home.

   “Don’t you think that this guy is some kind of odd?” He finally asked her.

   “Nah, why? He’s probably just a small, fatty, rich man, with many ex-wives and no friends, who’s just looking for new friends. Don’t be so suspicious, he seems nice.”  

   “Yeah …, maybe you’re right.”

   “I’m always right and you know that.”

Lucas smiled and let Sarah finally get out of the car in front of Aunt Betty’s house. She walked around the car and he lowered the front side window.

   “Well… I guess we won’t see each other that often in the upcoming days.”

She propped up on her elbows on the window and looked at him with her big eyes.

   “On Sunday I got my day off and we can swing by the lake... if you want,” he suggested.

   “Oh man... we haven’t been there for a while - I’m in.”

   “How about three?”

   “All right, hon,” and she gave him a peck on his cheek and disappeared into the house.

Lucas only needed to drive up the street a little and he was home again too. Gab already had switched off all lights in his house. He appeared to be a little tired during dinner, he thought. He went into the kitchen and allowed himself a glass of whiskey as a nightcap. Afterwards he walked over to the living room, sat down on the sofa and took a big gulp. Now he was noticing that his feet burned like hell and that his legs felt exhausted. He took off his sneakers and turned again to the diary. He was curious, if there maybe was a new entry in it by now. So he took it off the table.

And actually - after his apprehension that it didn’t work anymore - a new entry was right there.

Dear diary!

Today, I took things very easy. The weather was perfect for lawn mowing and picking weeds. Mimi dropped by and asked me about Gab. She’s also thinking that he’s questionable. Then I took an extended nap. Something weird is going on.

Moonville, March the 21st, 2007

Now these are very specific details, he thought. It was also quite clear to him that he needed to sleep next day, for surviving the upcoming night shift. And he had also decided to mow the lawn, after he saw Gab doing it. That weren’t really exciting news. But he was very curious what Mimi had to tell about Gab. Finally, Gab and he had caught her spying.

It had to be something negative - otherwise the term ‘questionable’ wouldn’t be in the diary. Yes, and weird was no expression for that what had happened to him lately. Lucas filled up the glass of whiskey again. All unanswered questions plagued him again. Apparently the diary was only working by the end of the day. Now at least that was his current conclusion and the reason why that this afternoon nothing was written in it.

   “Nana, I wish you were here and you could explain all that to me,” he said out loud, drank one more gulp and lit a cigarette.

Why wasn’t even the slightest explanation for this diary in her farewell letter? Everything in life has its meaning, he heard his grandmother in his thoughts. Lucas didn’t feel like watching TV, because he was too tired for it. He was also too tired to deal with these many questions. He emptied the glass of whiskey, went up to the bathroom and thereafter directly into his bed. All things considered, it would become a relaxed day tomorrow and with these positive thoughts, he was softly fallen asleep.

Day 5

The next morning, Lucas woke up completely rested and relaxed. It was 9.30 am. So he had slept for unbelievable ten hours and that without any special incidents. He got up, went to the bathroom and then he had breakfast without ruffle or excitement. It was a wonderful, sunny spring day in the outskirts of Moonville. He sat in the kitchen in his Homer Simpson boxers and his old Van Halen T-Shirt, eating his cornflakes and drank his coffee.

   “Everything in life has its meaning.”

With that sentence he ousted all the questions that seemed to him quite pointless too in that moment.

Moreover, a quiet day expected him - highly probable - and that’s why he decided to just enjoy that day. After he had finished breakfast, he straight away bucked up to work. The old rusty-spotted lawnmower had lost its prime a long time ago, and Lucas - as usual - had a hard time getting that old thing going. But finally he made it.

The front garden wasn’t really large and so he finished it relatively fast. Afterwards he went behind the house and started freeing the flowerbeds from the weed. The fresh air was doing really good for him and even weeding the weeds made his day, because he knew that his grandmother adored her flower garden. Everything started slowly to blossom and everything smelled like his childhood. He liked helping his grandmother with the gardening…

After he had disposed the last little piece of weed on the compost pile, he returned to the front garden, because he had to stow away the lawn mower into the small shed again, which was placed a little bit further in the back of the garden. As he’d just stowed it away, Mimi tapped him on his shoulder from behind.

   “Whoa... geez!” He shouted. “For heaven’s sake, Mimi! Do you have to sneak up on me like that!”

   “I’m sorry, my dear, but I really need to talk to you,” she said with a very straight face.  “Our new neighbor gives me the creeps. Last night I saw that all his lights were turned on and I saw several shades behind the windows.”

   “There are some people, who sometimes got company.”   

   “And why wasn’t a single car standing in front of his house? And so it goes every night since he moved in?”

   “Mimi, shouldn’t you sleep at night?”

   “Alack-a-day! Hank snores me awake every night and then I have to go to the bathroom. Yes and then I saw it every time - no one is entering or leaving the house except him.”

Lucas was disappointed. He was already internally prepared for a scandalous story, but instead, Mimi came up with a story from which she probably was only dreaming.

There was no doubt about it, that there was something fishy about Gab, but seriously - he couldn’t take this story for real. Even if it maybe was real - Mimi couldn’t stand behind the window for 24 hours - watching who went in or out. 

On the other hand, he was new in town, who would he already know around here? But he also seemed to be fun-loving, maybe he met his wife number three...

   “Okay, I’ll keep an eye on it, too,” he said to calm down the old lady a little bit.

   “Attaboy!” Mimi said. “Wait a sec, I got pasta bake leftovers from yesterday. I’ll go and get it for you.”

Lucas was glad about that, because he was really hungry from the gardening - and most of all - he got something fresh to eat instead of one of those microwave dishes. Mimi quickly ran over and subsequently, she pressed a casserole dish into his hands. He thanked her with a kiss on her cheek and thereupon she ran straight back home again. He went into the house and placed the casserole dish into the oven to heat it up. Meanwhile he took off his sweaty T-shirt and refreshed himself in the bathroom. The pasta bake was just awesome, like everything that Mimi was producing in her kitchen, and so he ate up this rather quite generous portion completely. Well saturated, he went into the living room to take his announced nap. Fresh air, gardening and good food can make someone pretty tired. He switched on the TV and fell asleep with the court show Texas Justice in the background.

When he woke up again it was already 6 pm. That day was really extraordinary relaxing. He sat up and considered what to do with the remaining time till his shift began. He had slept so good that he felt on top of the world. So he made up his mind to take a look at his grandmother’s bedroom. Slowly he went up the stairs, stopped in front of the door and breathed deeply. Carefully, he opened it and went in. The whole room was studded with family photos of happy days. He saw the wedding photo of his grandmother and also the one of his parents. The whole life of his family was documented on these four walls. He knew every single photo. Some of them, he had made by himself as a small boy and there were also two of his self-painted artworks of his childhood decorating the wall. Lucas suddenly found joy in seeing these pictures. They reminded him of an uncomplicated childhood and a wonderful woman. He felt like looking at even more photos, and so he took one after one another of these large photo albums from the wall shelf above the sideboard. The last album, he took in his hands was labeled with ‘LUCAS’ in capital letters. He took a close look at each one of these photographs and was recalling every single situation in his mind.

Sometimes a grin flitted over his face, because on most of these photos he was fooling around. On one photo they were on a carnival. He was remembering it very well, because he got there - for the first time ever - bright blue cotton candy. It also didn’t escape from his memory that his father took that photo. He was standing in front of his grandmother, his mother, and his grandfather, whom he couldn’t really remember that well anymore. This was also the last joined photo with his grandfather, because only short time later, he passed away by a heart attack. The cotton candy was twice as big as his head. Lucas was smiling, because that was really a wonderful day. That was one of those rare days when the whole family took action together, he thought. But suddenly he stopped breathing. He doubted his wits and he rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t really believe what he saw in the background on that photo. To the left of his grandmother, a little further in the background - there SHE stood.

Lucas threw the opened album on the bed, ran downstairs into the kitchen and took his grandmother’s huge magnifying glass of out of the odds and ends drawer. In no time at all, he sprinted up the stairs again, took the album back in his hands and looked at the photo under the magnifying glass. It was beyond a shadow of a doubt. It was her... the old woman from the bus and the same old woman he saw in the hospital. His mind said that this can’t be. This woman had to be a different one, but that smile on that woman’s face… Lucas became chalk-white. This woman in that bus looked as if she was at least 80 years old - or even older, and on the photo she looked not a single day younger. That just couldn’t be. He was staring at the photo and there wasn’t the slightest doubt for him. It was her, and she even wore the same old-fashioned dress. He put the album and the magnifying glass aside and went downstairs into the kitchen. He was confused and felt like having schnapps, but instead he looked at the clock. Meanwhile it was 9.20 pm. He had completely forgotten the time on his journey through the pictures. Knowing he needed to get to work soon, he just lit a cigarette and went into the living room. He opened the diary and searched it for a new entry. He was hoping to find an explanation in it. Surely, he would be reading that this was just a figment of his imagination. But there was nothing. No new entry. Disappointed he took the diary, stowed it away into his jacket pocket and put on the jacket straight away. Lucas turned off the lights, went to his car and got in. Who the hell was that woman? He was completely confused, like someone, who, desperately was trying to understand something that seems impossible.

When he arrived at the hospital, he couldn’t even remember his ride to it at all. He was so overextended. Why wasn’t there anything written down in the diary about this old woman, who seemed to be persecuting him? He parked the car, got out and went in. A stabbing headache started slowly to spread. Actually, he almost never had a headache, unless he had a pretty bad hangover. But today - for the first time - he asked Jenny for a pill. He knew that she always had some.

   “Aren’t you well?” She asked worried, while she passed a painkiller and a glass of water to him.

   “No, I’m fine... just headaches,” he replied.

   “Hey! The best team on this planet is back together.” Shawn pushed open the door and threw his bag in front of his locker. “Hey, what’s up, dude? You look like you were partying on for the last three nights.” Shawn said, laid his arm around Lucas’ shoulder and looked at Jenny. “So Laura didn’t want to work with you either, huh!”

   “Yes, looks like,” Jenny answered annoyed and left the room.

   “What’s with her?” Shawn asked.

   “How should I know - I guess, it must be up to you.”  

   “Nah, that can’t be. Women love me, do they?”

A smile flickered across Lucas’ face. For a moment, he considered if he should tell Shawn about his experiences, but it remained only by the consideration. The duty called, and as he had promised, his first way led him into Miss Keane’s room. Miss Keane was almost dozed off, but she opened her eyes when she perceived his steps.

   “Oh Lucas, how nice that we meet again.”

   “How are you today?” He took her hand, which she held out to him.

   “I’m always fine, when I can take a look at you.”

He smiled and took the medical file, which hung in a holder at the bottom end of the bed.

   “Your surgery is tomorrow morning at six, so remember to stop drinking or eating for the rest of today.”

   “I know that, dear,” Miss Keane replied and he smiled.

Who was he talking to? No kidding... This woman had more surgeries than anyone else he ever met in this hospital.   

   “You don’t look healthy today, Lucas. You’re a little bit pale.”

   “Just a little headache, soon it will be gone... So, now its bedtime.” He shook her pillow and sat down to her on the edge of the bed. Miss Keane smiled and reached for his hand again.

   “What would I do without you - you are a true angel. Your grandmother is surely terribly proud of you.”

   “And I’m proud of you... that you handle all that so good and not let it get you down.”

Miss Keane squeezed his hand and smiled.

   “Life is something beautiful and I always looked at it as a gift, even if I’ve spent more time in here over the last years than at home. The most precious thing a human being can possess is time and I’m grateful for every second, in which I have breathed.”

Lucas swallowed and looked at her. She was lying there and smiled at him. Her words were sounding to him like a goodbye forever. Lovingly, he patted her hand.

   “You’ll have plenty of time, everything will be alright, and after all, the head physician himself will do the surgery.” Miss Keane nodded in silence.

   “See you tomorrow morning, now it’s time to sleep. Your body needs lots of physical strength for tomorrow.”

   “Goodbye Lucas,” she said as he stood already in front of the door.

   “Good night Miss Keane.”

He left the room. That was quite a little odd... She was never acting like that before a surgery. But she didn’t get any younger too, and with increasing age some people are getting more anxious sometimes. That wasn’t his first case…

Day 6

In that night it was even more hectic as usual on the ward. In Room 312, a man was rampaging through half of the night. The whole time he was calling for his wife, who had already been dead for years, and he was constantly throwing the chairs in his room. Two emergencies - brought to the ward - also needed to be properly looked after. Lucas was caught in hectic rush. Always, when he thought to take a short break to have a look into the diary, he was called into another room.

A woman who had vomited in her bed, a man who had fallen out of the bed... in other words - That night was anything else but calm.

When he allowed himself a small cigarette break in fresh air for the first time, it was already nearly five-thirty and his shift half an hour before ending. He was worn out. Such a restless night at the hospital in this small town rather wasn’t the rule. Lucas went up to the ward again. Calmness had finally returned again. He went into Miss Keane’s room for getting her prepared for the surgery. When he entered the room, she still seemed to sleep peacefully in her bed. Lucas pushed the button for the attenuated nightlight and went slowly to the bed to gently wake her up.

   “Miss Keane,” he whispered quietly at first.

He noticed that he had stepped on something that was lying on the floor. As he looked down, he saw a scalpel - a bloody scalpel. Lucas went down on his knees and stared at it. Then he took it carefully in his hand. He raised his head and saw that the bed sheet was full of blood at the side. A lifeless hand peeked out from under the covers.

   “Miss Keane?” He whispered again and this time his voice was shaking.

But Miss Keane didn’t move. As in trance, he slowly got up and raised the blanket - very carefully and very slow. At first he thought of suicide after the strange goodbye last night. But what was revealed to his eyes was anything but that.

Miss Keane was completely slashed - from the larynx all the way down. She was lying there - bare naked - and her internal organs oozed out of her abdomen. Her hands hung horizontally on the left and right above the edges of the bed and her legs were crossed. Immediately he screamed for help and pressed like a lunatic the alarm button. He knew that no doctor in this world could’ve saved her. This sight was even too much for Jenny, who rushed as the first one into the room. She was covering her mouth with one hand under slight, retching noises.

Lucas stood there - petrified, while the doctors, who stormed into the room, bumped him rudely aside. But even they realized instantly, that no resuscitation procedures could help that woman anymore. Lucas dropped the scalpel on the floor and stared with wide opened eyes at his hand on which her blood was.

   “We need to call the cops!” Doc Fuller said. “Go, tell Lucy,” and Jenny left the room hastily.

All the others stormed into the room, even the colleagues of the early shift, who soon were be starting their service.

   “Who the hell can do something like that?” Lucas said totally distraught.

Still shocked, he was staring at his blood-smeared hand. Then he looked at Miss Keane’s face. You could assume that her face had to be cramped and full of fear, but it wasn’t - on the contrary, he even thought he was detecting a little smile on her face, just like someone, who just had a nice dream.

This is crazy! That’s totally crazy!

Lucas rushed out of the room and was standing in the hallway. As soon as he could take his eyes off his bloody hand, his view was falling to the end of the hallway. 

   “Stop the elevator!” He screamed and started running. Helplessly, he had to watch, as the door of the elevator closed in front of his eyes, and in it - SHE disappeared. He pressed the button of the elevator like crazy, but it was too late. The elevator was already starting to move downwards. Lucas ran to the door which led to the stairwell, and he sprinted downstairs as fast as he could. Finally, he found himself in the small foyer and was turning around in circles helplessly - hoping that he was faster than her. The elevator arrived, opened and it was empty. There was even no sign of Steve at the reception. Lucas ran to the exit, tore open the door and almost knocked down Sarah, who suddenly was standing in front of him.

   “Lucas, what a sight you are.”

   “Did you saw this old woman?”

   “Which old woman? No, I didn’t see anybody. I just came from the Johnsons and thought I could invite you for breakfast.” Lucas looked hectically to and fro and didn’t listen to her at all. “But I guess, this isn’t a good time, is it?”

Lucas, who was shocked like never before in his whole life, didn’t even answer that question, turned around and ran back inside.

   “Yeah, it was nice to see you, too,” she cat-called at him, went to her car and drove away.

Lucas ran to the rear entrance of the hospital, but even there - no sign of that old woman. Nobody was to be seen there at all. He stood there all alone and took out his cigarettes, which he still had in the pocket of his pants. Resignedly he dropped himself on the kerb and lit a cigarette. From the distance, he heard the police sirens coming closer. Disgusted he looked at the - by now - dried blood on his right hand.

This old woman... She did it… there was not the slightest doubt about that for him.

He finished his cigarette hectically, and went upwards again where the police already was waiting for him.

   “Are you Mr. Wilkins who found her?” Captain Jack Walden asked.

Lucas nodded silently, while Captain Walden noticed the blood on his hand.

   “Hello! Would everybody please listen to me for a moment. I would like to request everybody, who was on duty that night to accompany me to the precinct. Cross, Stanton! You’ll interrogate the patients and the early shift. Maybe somebody heard or saw something.”

When they arrived at the precinct a short time later, everyone had to give their fingerprints first and then each one of them was interviewed separately. Lucas, in addition, was wiped with a cotton swab over his blood-smeared hand. It took a long time for Captain Walden to show up in the bare little interrogation room with the big mirror on the wall where they brought Lucas. He was perfectly aware - if he told them about a more than 80-year-old woman as a suspected perpetrator, they would lock him up right away. Lucas tried not to look nervous, although his heart was pounding like mad…

He described exactly the way he found her and said that he felt awfully bad, and therefore, he had to run outside to catch fresh air. And he talked about his dearly relationship with Miss Keane. An officer came in and interrupted his statement. He handed Captain Walden a red file.

Oh God, they already got a file of me, he thought.

   “Mr. Wilkins… how did your fingerprints got onto the murder weapon?”

Lucas repeated it again - that he first noticed the scalpel on the ground and that he picked it up, before he saw that Miss Keane was dead.

   “Uh-huh I see… and you can also explain to me, why Miss Keane bequests her entire possession to you?” Captain Walden presented him a handwritten will, which showed that he was the universal heir of her entire property. Lucas was touched and scared at the same time.

Greed - the classic murder motive. Where did they get it so fast from?  What should he answer to that question? He knew, no matter what he would say, he was - now more than ever - the prime suspect. So he told him once again about his good relationship to Miss Keane, and that she hadn’t any other relatives in this world anymore.

   “I don’t have any other explanation for it,” he said.

   “Okay, that’s all - for now, Mr. Wilkins. If I still have some more questions, I know where I can find you, do I!” Silently and obviously intimidated, Lucas left the interrogation room and Lieutenant Caine came in.

   “And what do you think about it, Jack?”

   “I don’t know, Dave... my feeling’s telling me, that this boy didn’t tell everything he knows,” and Lieutenant Caine reported to him that all the others had confirmed his story.

   “Nevertheless, we should keep an eye on him,” Captain Walden said thoughtfully. “Something’s wrong with that guy.”

Lucas was totally exhausted when he came home around 2.15 pm. He threw himself onto the sofa. His whole world had fallen apart since his grandmother passed away and it became apparently even worse. He took the diary from his jacket pocket. After all, the whole time he wasn’t able taking a look into it, if there was a new entry.

He stared at the diary and finally opened it.

Dear diary!

Tonight something terrible happened. Miss Keane was beastly killed. I couldn’t help her anymore. She was slit open from top to bottom. Why is everything taken from me, that’s close to my heart? For the cops I’m definitely the prime suspect, because I’m her universal heir. I really need help. On my own, I can’t bear it any longer.

Moonville, March, the 22nd, 2007

Full of rage he threw the diary towards the kitchen.  

   “I could have saved her - damn, why couldn’t I read this fucking diary,” he shouted out loud. And again, there was no hint for this damned old woman in the diary. Lucas was totally exhausted. The only thing he wanted to do was sleeping, he didn’t want to hear or see anything anymore. He went upstairs into the bathroom, and the first thing that he was doing - getting rid of the dried blood from his hands, and the still slightly blackened fingertips. Afterwards he went into his bedroom, set up the alarm, because he had to appear at 10pm on time to his shift again. The rested feeling of the previous day had totally vanished. He didn’t even bother to take off his shoes.

Dressed like he was, he dropped himself onto the bed and fell asleep.

   “My sweet darling, you couldn’t have saved her.”

   “Nana?”

   “She’s here with me now.”

Lucas stood in the garden and saw his grandmother standing in front of the big rose bush.

   “What’s the meaning of all that?”

   “You have to do, what I was not able to do.”…

The radio alarm clock started to sound and he woke up. It was just a dream. But it was a very realistic dream again. What should I do? He still wondered sleepily and cursed the alarm, which he switched off with a powerful punch. He dressed up with clean clothes and went into the bathroom. There, he only poured cold water into his face. He didn’t feel like having a shower, let alone to shave. He went downstairs into the kitchen and smoked a cigarette. As crazy as it was sounding for him, but his grandmother was sending messages to him in his dreams - mysterious messages. He sat there, staring at the diary, which still lay on the floor and tried to deciphering the messages. First, he should find the diary - that was a fact. And now he should do something what she wasn’t able to do. At this moment he knew, that he urgently needed an ally. One, who would help to unscramble and understand all that, even if he should be declared of being crazy. For him there was actually only one single person, who he was really relying on - and that was Sarah. Lucas was picking up the diary and looked in it. But there was no new entry. The day wasn’t still over... This seemed logical, should it be really easy like that?

The diary was describing the next day only then, if his personal day was over. Every day is rewritten by his actions, so it was written down in the dedication. At least that’s how it was till now. This surely wouldn’t happen to him again. Today, he would definitely look into the diary.

No matter whether chairs were thrown or barf was all over the beds.

When Lucas arrived at the ward, there were still a lot of cops walking around the hallway - still busy questioning the patients and employees.

   “Dude whazzup? You look like shit,” Shawn said when he entered the break room.

   “Oh please, shut up, Shawn!” Jenny said energetically. For her, it was absolutely clear why he looked like that... he was the one who found her.

   “You don’t look in the pink, too,” Lucas replied.

   “I think the cops suspect you, dude. They asked me a lot of strange questions about you.”

   “That figures! Apparently Miss Keane bequeathed her entire possessions to me.”

   “No shit! Now it’s beginning to add up. They think you bumped her off, because of the dough.”

   “Yeah, looks like.”

   “Hey psst! I’m not blowing the whistle on you and we make it fifty-fifty.” Shawn only tried to cheer him up a little bit with this saying. But for him it was just inappropriate at that moment, just like for Jenny, who was shaking her head. Lucas left irritated and without a comment the room.

   “The woman that gets you in the end can feel really blessed,” Jenny said sarcastically and also left the break room.  

   “What is wrong with you?” Shawn called still after them.

Lucas wasn’t really at work with his thoughts. The cops made him nervous and although he had committed no crime, he still felt guilty. He tried not to show it, for he had the feeling that he was under permanent observation. This night shift was as quiet as usual again. At last, Moonville wasn’t a big city where in every night a gazillion victims were rushed into the hospital. Lucas was bleary-eyed and the exertions from last night, well, everybody could see it in his face. Sometime later, the policemen had disappeared - all but one.

He sat down on a chair in the hall and watched everything and everyone walking along there.

   “Sorry dude, wasn’t probably my best line,” Shawn said short time later when they met in the hallway.

   “Forget about it.… I know from whom that was coming from,” Lucas answered conciliatorily, who was in general not the resentful type of guy. He liked this small slob, anyway, and so they carried out their duties and took care of their patients.

Day 7

At midnight Lucas made instinctively a small break, hoping that he got something new to read. He took his jacket and went to the rear entrance of the hospital. A little aside of the entrance, he sat down on the kerb and lit a cigarette.

He opened the diary and read the following words...

Dear diary!

The cop in the hallway has constantly observed me. And anyhow I had the feeling that everybody thinks that I’m a killer. Mr. Ward suspended me until further notice, at least on full payment. He meant it would be the best for the hospital… blah-blah... So I was sleeping the whole day. In the evening I asked Sarah to come over and I told her everything. I guess she believes me.

Moonville, March, the 23rd, 2007

Suspended - that was something. Lucas was shocked. He couldn’t believe that he should get suspended. But he also knew that he simply delivered an incredible motive for murder by the inheritance of Miss Keane. Well, now he couldn’t change it anyhow. If it is written down that way, than it should be that way. Besides, when do you have the opportunity to get special paid leave? But the last remark of the entry made him a bit thoughtful. So, he only would guess that Sarah believes him. He needed to consider the best way to tell her the whole story...

He went back by elevator and fulfilled his duty - under the cop’s stern eyes, of course. Meanwhile, he was waiting all the time for Mr. Ward to call him out, which eventually happened at the end of his shift.

   “Mr. Wilkins, please have a seat.”

   “Thank you, sir,” and Lucas sat down in front of the big old desk made of dark wood.

   “You’re not looking good, Mr. Wilkins, and you’re probably wondering, why I asked you to come.”

Lucas was hiding his knowledge by trying to make a marvelled face. Mr. Ward leaned back in his high tech chair, fiddling around with his ballpoint.

   “Look, Mr. Wilkins, what happened is still inconceivable to me, and it must be even more terrible for you - after all, you were first one in this room. You need to understand, I personally don’t think that you’ve got anything to do with it - after all - you’re one of our best male nurses. But we’re talking about the good reputation of this hospital here - to say it directly - my good reputation. I’m really sorry, but I have to suspend you. Of course, only as long till this whole mess is cleared up - self-evidently. Of course, you receive your full salary. Look, you know how things are. The speculations of your heritage are already spreading around here and you know how people are...” Lucas nodded.

Now he knew, why there was written ‘Blah-Blah’ in the diary. From now on he hardly was listening at all and let it endured over him - that sheer endless appearing monologue. 

   “I understand, Sir,” he said when the sermon had come to an end.

They shook hands and Mr. Ward dismissed him with the words: “See you soon, we keep in touch.”

Shawn and Jenny were already waiting quite impatiently in the break room when Lucas entered it.

   “And? What did the old man say?” Shawn asked and Jenny also stared expectantly at him.

   “I’m suspended.”

   “What!? He can’t do that! Now everyone is starting to think that you’ve really got something to do with it,” Jenny said quite upset.

   “Hey... It’s only as long till they gonna find out, that I’m not a butcher,” he calmed both.

However, his inner voice told him that he definitely wouldn’t see the hospital from the inside for a very, very long time any more.

   “I’m not thrilled about that, too, but it’s certainly for the best.”

   “Well, you’re probably right,” Shawn said.

Jenny had to fight to hold back her tears by staring down to the ground.

   “Hey... I’m gonna invite you on a brew sometime. At least, I get paid for my non-appearance,” Lucas said.

   “I keep you in the loop, that’s for sure,” Shawn said.

Lucas thanked him, took all his personal belongings out of the locker and left the hospital. When he got into the car, he noticed that his stomach growled incredibly, and so he decided to have breakfast at Sally’s.

   “You look terrible, sweetheart. That’s pretty bad what happened at the hospital,” Sally said when he sat down to her at the bar.

   “Coffee, hon?” He nodded.

Sally poured out a cup of coffee, and he was ordering pancakes and eggs sunny-side up with bacon. Meanwhile, it was already nearly seven thirty, and Sally’s Diner was busy as usual, so she had no time for a little chin-wag. Lucas was very glad that he didn’t have to talk with her, besides, he was tired and hungry. He was just looking ahead and thought about, how he should tell his experiences to Sarah in the best way. He also thought of Miss Keane…

Lucas literally gobbled his food down, and in addition let Sally pack two chocolate muffins into a paper bag. Really good saturated, he left Sally’s diner and drove home. Under Mimi’s curious eyes behind the curtains, he got out of the car. Surely she already knew. The paperboy drove by on his bike and threw a newspaper on Gab’s porch. Lucas sneaked over there - he couldn’t help himself, he needed to take a look at the front page. He took the newspaper and read...

Bloodbath in Moonville!

Defenceless old woman brutally slashed

He sat down on the bottommost step of the porch and read the article, which was overspreading the entire front page. It said the police didn’t have a suspect yet. Relieved, he took a deep breath. Secretly he was already afraid of a hunt on his person. He put the newspaper back on the porch and went into his house. Actually, he badly needed to shower, but he was just too tired and ignored the B.O.. He just wanted to sleep. His way led him straight up to his bedroom. He threw the bag with the muffins on the nightstand, but took off his clothes this time and let himself fall into the bed. A little calmed, that there was nothing written in the paper about a suspect - especially him - he was falling asleep fairly relaxed.

Lucas got up and went down the stairs, whose old steps were creaking under his feet. Carefully, he opened the back door in the kitchen and was standing in the garden again. Mister Fluffy, his cat - which he loved as a child more than everything else - prowled cuddly around his legs. Miss Keane stood smilingly a little further on the left side by the rosebush and sniffed at them. A light spring breeze caressed his skin in a pleasant way. The sun shone and dazzled him a little.

   “Lucas, my darling.”

   “Nana,” he whispered.

   “You need to go to him! He knows what needs to be done, but...” His grandmother kept talking, but he couldn’t understand what she was saying, anymore. He saw how her lips were moving and noticed the concerned expression on her face.

   “Nana, I can’t hear you. To whom shall I go?” He was shouting. Mister Fluffy disappeared. His grandmother and Miss Keane suddenly vanished into thin air.

Lucas awoke from his dream. He lay in his bed with his eyes wide open and a vacant expression. This dream was so damn real again. He was breathing fast and was soaked in sweat. He got up and went to the bathroom. On the outside, it was already dark and so he switched on the light. He was standing in front of the washing stand and stared into the mirror. With his right hand, he raked through his sweat-watered brown hair. He opened the tap and poured hearty - with both hands - ice-cold water into his face. Then his glance fell on the small clock hanging in the bathroom next to the mirror, and he realized that he had been asleep for almost a whopping 12 hours. It was almost eight and Lucas was confused. Another message he couldn’t handle. Was it his fault that he couldn’t understand his grandmother? He really needed support so badly. Exactly at this moment the phone in the kitchen was ringing. He ran downstairs and picked it up.

   “Lucas, where were you all along? I tried to get you on the phone the whole afternoon.”

   “Sorry, I was asleep and apparently so deeply that I didn’t hear the ringing.” Sarah took a deep breath. 

   “Do you have plans for tonight? I’d like to see you,” he asked.

   “Sure, I’m free tonight, but don’t you have to work? I thought you’re on the night shift?”

   “I’ll explain it when you are here.”

   “Okay, give me an hour.”

   “Sure. See you in an hour.”

Lucas put down the phone and had quite a queasy feeling in his stomach. But he encouraged himself.

   “You don’t back down! You’ve got an hour and you stink like a pig!”

He went up to the bathroom and took a shower. During the whole time he was considering, how he should start to explain the full story plausibly to her. In the end, he decided not to drive himself crazy, and to tell her in peace what he had experienced.

After showering and a clean-shave, he went into his bedroom and took the diary out of his jacket pocket. He took a quick glance inside of it, but no new entry was to be seen.

That figures, he thought, grabbed the bag with the muffins and went downstairs to the kitchen. He laid the diary on the table, sat down and took a muffin out of the bag. The last quarter of an hour - while he was waiting for Sarah - felt sheer endless to him and the ticking of the kitchen clock was growing ever louder. He sat there - staring at the diary, smoking one cigarette at a time. Finally there was a knock on the door and Sarah came in right away. They hugged and she kissed him on the left cheek. She had a six-pack of beer, she carried with, that she put on the table.

   “So, I’m listening,” she said, while she opened two cans of beer and sat down. “This has something to do with the murder, does it?” And she pushed one of the cans over to Lucas. He took a deep breath and took the diary in both hands.

   “It all started with that.”

   “With your girly diary?”

   “Believe me Sis, that is anything else but a diary for girls,” and he started telling everything. He told her about the old woman from the bus, the entries, his dreams and about the murder. She just sat there and listened. He was totally focused on strict observance to the chronological sequence of the events, which was not that easy, because of his great nervousness. From time to time he got up and was looking through the kitchen window, while he continuously kept telling. She interrupted him at no time. She also wasn’t asking any questions. She watched him closely and her facial expression didn’t show the slightest hint of what she was thinking.

   “I knew something’s wrong with you,” she said as he finished his story and looked at her expectantly with a questioning glance.

   “You think I’m a nutcase, do you?”

   “Oh no, no - I don’t think you’re nuts... But this whole story is really quite unusual, you have to admit that.” He was nodding and took a big gulp out of the beer can.

   “Sarah, we know each other our entire lives. I haven’t gone crazy during the last two years in which we haven’t seen each other. You need to believe me!” She ran her hands through her hair and looked at the diary in disbelief.

   “So... that means we have to search for an 80-year-old murderer and an unknown guy to which Nana was sending you in your dream.”

   “I know what it sounds like, I’ll try to provide evidence to you,” and he lit a cigarette.

   “Anyway... I’ll do whatever it takes that they don’t nail you for murder,” she said and opened another two cans of beer.

   “And you really inherited everything from this Miss Keane?”

   “Yes.”

   “And the same woman was standing with you and your grandmother in the garden in your dream?”

   “Uh-huh.”

   “Well ... maybe we should take a look at her house.”

She took his right hand, stroked it lovingly and looked deep into his eyes.

   “I’ll try to help you.”

Lucas thought about the last sentence in the diary. No - her reaction and her eyes definitively indicated it.

He really couldn’t be sure that she believed him. A little disappointed, he smiled at her. This whole story was really too abstruse. If somebody would’ve told him such an adventurous story, he certainly wouldn’t have believed a single word, too.

   “Thanks Sis, I guess I can’t ask for more at the moment.” He took the diary and opened it. He was hoping, that maybe she could read the diary now, finally, he told her everything about it. But the pages were empty. Sarah squinted in the diary and saw the blank pages. She didn’t let it show, grabbed the beer quickly and took a big gulp. Disappointed, he closed the diary again.

   “Let me consult my pillow, sweet cheeks. Maybe something comes to my mind. I mean, what else are we supposed to do,” and she got up.

   “As long as you’re not sending those men with the fancy white jackets, that they tie together on my back.”

   “Baloney,” she answered harshly. “After all, we need to solve a crime.” She pulled Lucas off the chair and walked with him to the door.

   “Don’t you want to stay here tonight?”

   “Oh, I would love to, but I have to be on the Oldfield farm tomorrow morning at six.”

   “But tomorrow is Saturday.”

   “Country vets are always on duty and Paul has promised to vaccinate the pigs tomorrow. As soon as I’m done, I’ll stop by, okay?” She gave him a brief kiss on the cheek and disappeared.

Lucas was surprised by her sudden decampment and remained standing in the open door for a little while. How much he would’ve liked to talk to her even longer about everything. But he also felt relieved from a heavy burden. No matter how she would handle it, he had just talked everything away. And that - that felt damn good. Well, there was only one more question... Did she believe him? He still wasn’t sure about that. Actually, he knew Sarah inside out, but at last those weren’t everyday things he was telling. He couldn’t interpret her reactions. Maybe she had changed. Finally, the contact was less intensive during her study time. Another two untouched cans of beer were on the kitchen table. He sat down back to the table and opened another one. He looked at the clock and saw that it was already shortly after 11 pm. Basically, he couldn’t care less about the time - as a suspended one. His feeling told him that his day had come to an end, and so it became time to read the diary. He lit one more cigarette, before he opened it.

Dear diary!

This morning I returned the baking dish to Mimi. Sarah came about midday. She found out the address of Miss Keane. Then we drove to her house. That was freakin’ crazy, but now I know for sure that she believes me! We met Gab. He made a strange remark, I still don’t understand.

Moonville, March, the 24th, 2007

Lucas was relieved. If Sarah would get in touch tomorrow, he already knew what kind of information she would have for him. That - he definitely wanted to use to his advantage, in order to eradicate her existing doubts. Now he could be sure that her doubts would disappear. He felt indescribably relieved. Satisfied, he leaned back and crossed his arms in his neck. It was the right thing to tell her everything. Now he had an ally. He was so glad that Victor Gab - whom they would meet tomorrow - wasn’t included in his thoughts. It was fantastic that she would find out Miss Keane’s address. Although Moonville was quasi a tiny village and that he held her file for a thousand times in his hands, he didn’t know her address. Yes, and with all the cops and the fact that he was suspended, it was totally out of the question to sneak into the hospital. Now he was wide awake and it occurred to him that he had forgotten something essential in his reflections. He had forgotten to show Sarah the photo of the carnival. She had to see that, after all, that was further proof. He had taken so much care and had simply forgotten such an important detail. Now he was annoyed beyond all measure. He went up and took the album, which still was lying - with the magnifying glass - on the bed. Gently, he released the photo, which was glued on all four corners, and went back downstairs. He took his beer and settled down in the living room. He stared at the photo and took the last gulp from the can… “We’re gonna find you!”

Day 8

When Lucas awoke, a storm with torrential rain was raging on the outside, again. Once again, he had spent the night on the sofa. The TV was still running and the rain was crackling against the living room windows. He got up and stretched himself. His back pain made its presence felt again - after that night on the sofa - though he hadn’t really slept that much. He went into the kitchen, switched on the coffeemaker, and looked out of the kitchen window, that - by the way - was located right above the sink. What a shitty weather, he thought when suddenly a rotten smell reached his nose.

   “Ugh! How about soaking - idiot.” He put Mimi’s ovenproof dish into the sink and filled it up with water and dish washing liquid.

Finally, he couldn’t hand it over to Mimi like this. He sat down to the table, drank coffee and smoked a cigarette. He was wondering, how he could kill time until Sarah would show up. So he decided to look at all the photo albums again. Maybe he’d overlooked a clue to the old woman or even to the diary. Slowly he trotted up the stairs and looked at all the albums intensively again. But he found absolutely nothing that could have helped him. This one single photo that he had found seemed to be the only proof of this woman’s existence. Lucas went back downstairs. Meanwhile two hours had passed. Sarah would surely arrive soon. Now he took care of the casserole dish. He still had to scrub a lot, to remove the stuck on remnants of the noodles. After he had finished it, he took a shower. Freshly shaved and dressed, he grabbed the casserole dish and made his way to the house across the street. The rain still was pouring down in sheets, and Lucas ran fast to the other side of the street. He rang and knocked rather hectically, because the roofing of the entrance showed some deficits in rain protection.

   “Hello, my boy… quick, come in,”

Mimi said when she opened the door.

   “Who’s there?” Hank screamed harshly from the living room.

Yeah, yeah... sitting with his big ass in his big TV armchair as usual, Lucas thought.

   “It’s Lucas, he returned the casserole,” she shouted into the direction of the living room.

   “Come, sit down. Do you like some coffee? And I’ve got fresh donuts.”

   “Actually, I can’t stay for that long,” he answered, while Mimi already poured the coffee and placed the extremely yummy-scenting and incredibly tasty looking donuts right in the middle of the table.

   “Sit down, boy, there must be time for that! I’m sure you didn’t have breakfast today, do you? I can crack some eggs into the pan for you.”

   “No, no, I’m fine with these donuts, thanks,” he said by taking a chocolate donut right away.

   “And?... Did you take a close look at our new neighbor?”

   “Well, I haven’t noticed anything unusual.”

   “I still see some people moving behind his windows every night. He’s probably a mob member or something like that.”

Lucas had to grin, because he really wasn’t looking like a wiseguy at all.

   “He is a lawyer,” he said with his mouth full.

   “He’s a what?”

   “A lawyer… from St. Louis.”

   “Whatever, he’s not looking like a lawyer… and that bright red Mercedes. No lawyer’s driving something like that. Red is more the colour for a mob member or a pimp.”

Under no circumstances, he wanted to upset Mimi, and so he tried to suppress his grin, because Mimi was really very serious about it.

   “What kind of people are those... visiting him at night?”

   “I can hardly recognize it. All I can see is that this little pudge is surrounded by some other strange characters.”

Now he really couldn’t hold back his grin, because after all, Mimi herself had a pretty little pudge, sitting next door in his armchair.

   “Well, yeah, I’ll still keep an eye on that one. I promise,” he said grinning and smacking.

They changed the subject and started talking about the weather. Lucas looked at the clock and became nervous. It slowly became time to leave. Under no circumstances, he may forget to give Sarah his mobile number today. Maybe she was already standing in front of the door. He got up and thanked Mimi for the breakfast. In return, she packed the remaining donuts into a bag and handed it to him.

   “Come over for dinner sometimes… if you have time.”

   “Sure! I will do that, Mimi.”

Lucas gave her a big kiss on the cheek, thanked her once again for coffee and donuts and ran fast across the street. He decided to give Gab the advice to introduce himself to Mimi. Finally, their three houses were a bit separated from the others in the street, and Lucas didn’t want that Mimi was feeling uncomfortable in close vicinity to him. He sat down in the kitchen again and waited. Only now, he realized that Mimi hadn’t mentioned the murder in the hospital.

Did she really not know? Probably not, otherwise she would have asked him about - that was for sure. Her Hank was staring at only one TV channel during the whole day, and that was the sports channel. Since he could be sure that it was reported with absolute probability in the local news, if not even nationwide, he wasn’t that surprised anymore.

He didn’t have to wait for too long, till he heard it knocking at the front door and Sarah came in. 

   “Phew... what a storm, huh?” She said. “I tried calling you a couple of times, you didn’t answer the phone.”

Sarah took off her wet jacket.

   “I just stopped by at Mimi’s... Donut?”

He was holding the donut bag in front of her nose and she took one out. Straightaway after that, he pulled out his mobile and they exchanged their numbers. They sat at the dining table and Lucas leaned back with crossed arms.

   “Sooo… then show it to me - your little, white slip with the address of Miss Keane on it.”

She stared at him wide-eyed, while he was wearing a big-certain-of-victory-grin in his face. Admittedly, it was only a guess that she had written the address on a white slip of paper.

   “Tongue-tied, huh?” She pulled a small piece of paper out of