Viktor Gitin
The Testing of a Wizard

Characters

QUEEN – The ageing widow, quarrelsome and nagging ruler of the country.

FADRIUS – Court Wizard, who is losing his magical powers to old age, also, Gelo’s teacher.

GELO – Young apprentice of Fadrius, awaiting to be accepted into Wizardry.

LIZY – Lady in waiting, Gelo’s fiancé

HERMIT – Lonely man, living in the mountains away from the world and the people in it.

CANNIBAL – Man-eating robber, who lives in the woods, near a highway.

FISHERMAN – Happy man, living on an island with his family.

VEDALIA – A witch and the owner of ‘Store of Temptations’, which entices people and sells them different temptations in return for part of their souls.

VOICE OF THE KEEPER OF THE MIRACLE.

* * * * *

Act One

Scene One.

The hall of the Queen’s palace. A mixture between a wizard’s study and a palace’s hall. There is a table with papers, books, and retorts on the stage. On the side of the stage there hangs a big replica hourglass symbolizing the motion of time.

On Stage there are Gelo and Lizy. Gelo is attentively shifting through papers and at the same time reading books. Lizy who is bored, walks from armchair to settee humming to herself. Then she quietly sneaks up to Gelo.

LIZY – Gelo, you are so clever and well read. Why do you need to know even more, than you already do? (Whilst trying to play with his hair)

GELO – (Displeased) Stop it, Lizy. You are getting in the way. You do know that I have my test soon. Before I can become a real Wizard.

LIZY – So What? Is it really that scary? Probably not as scary as the smile on the Queen’s face in the morning!

GELO – Nonsense! I cannot imagine the things Fadrius will conjure up for me. But certainly, it will be a very serious test. And elder Wizards, who Fadrius especially invited, will judge it. Only then will I be raised to the rank of a real Wizard.

LIZY – But you already know some magical spells. You can heal various wounds, create fire, and freeze water. If necessary, you could stop and freeze beasts or evil men, among various things, which I cannot remember. For our future family life and welfare, it is quite enough.

GELO. (Unhappy, that he is being disturbed) But it is not enough to be raised to the rank of a Wizard!

LIZY – (Playfully) Why do you need this rank when you have me?

GELO – Lizy, how can you say that! It’s two different things!

LIZY – I am a thing?!

GELO – You know what I mean. You know perfectly well that I love you, when the time comes, we will marry, and then we’ll be together…

LIZY – I want it sooner.

GELO – What do you want sooner?

LIZY – (Coquettishly) Well you know … be together.

GELO – Be patient. As soon as I become a Wizard, we’ll definitely be together.

LIZY – (Upset and displeased) But to get married you don’t need to be a Wizard! Other people get along fine without a rank, get married and have children. Or cannot you do it without magic…

GELO – (Very displeased) I can do anything! Stop this, Lizy!

LIZY – Do you really need to be a Wizard to be a real man?

GELO – What do you mean?!

LIZY – (Sadly) Nothing much…

GELO – (Irritated) I can’t get married until I get tested to become a Wizard, because a Wizard is not an ordinary person. And by the rules, when you agree to marry me you have to fully understand, who you are marrying: An ordinary citizen or to someone whose life is devoted to magic and sorcery. So, if I get married before my testing, I will break the rules and I won’t be able to become a Wizard.

LIZY – Just don’t get cross. I didn’t want to upset you. It’s just that I love you. And you don’t even notice that I’m next to you.

GELO – Yes, you’re rather hard to miss! It is easier to miss a storm or a hurricane, than trying to escape your loving capriciousness.

LIZY – But Gelo I also need attention. But you’re just stuck in your books, and don’t leave them for days. Why don’t you look at me for just a minute?

GELO – (Wanting to reconcile) Lizy, you know! Everything I’m doing is not for myself. My goal – is not just to become a Wizard but a truly great one. Teacher Fadrius thinks I have everything you need to become one. But for that I need to work and study hard.

LIZY – But life is so long you will have time to learn everything you need. But sometimes you just have to take a break. To live a simple and non-magical life. To love me…just a little bit.

GELO – Lizy, don’t talk like that. I always love you. But I have responsibilities. The current situations in the kingdom are not going very well. Fadrius is very old and is losing his powers. And he cannot help out the Queen, like he used to. I need to hurry so that I can support my teacher and help the kingdom.

LIZY – So that’s why you want to read all those knowledgeable books?

GELO – That’s one of the reasons.

LIZY – (Coquettishly) Aren’t you afraid that we will get old before you will read all of them? And then neither you nor me will want anything.

GELO – (Laughing) Only if you turn out to be a nagging and quarrel-some old woman like our Queen. In this case I won’t be needing anything from you.

LIZY – But do you really need anything from me now?

GELO – (Putting his hands around her waist) Yes, I do! A kiss for example.

LIZY – Do you think you deserve one?

GELO – Am I guilty of something?

LIZY – You men are all so self-confident! You’re assured that just because you haven’t done anything bad, you can get everything you want. But now you will have to earn it! (Runs to the side) You want a kiss – catch me!

GELO – (Joyfully) You think I won’t catch you?

LIZY – Only if you don’t use your magic!

GELO – And here I don’t even need it.

They Run around the stage. Gelo tries to catch Lizy. She avoids being caught.

LIZY – You won’t catch me!

GELO – I will!

Gelo catches Lizy, hugs her and they kiss passionately. Fadrius walks on stage. At first, he looks at them puzzled, then he walks to the other side. They don’t seem to notice him. He shows a rainbow of expressions, from a smile to a frown. And then starts to cough very loudly. Lizy and Gelo are startled and move away from each other.

GELO – (Awkwardly, moves from one foot to another) S-S-Sorry, teacher… We didn’t hear you come in… We were … just….

FADRIUS – I saw you – just!

LIZY – (Looking sheepishly down) If I’m not needed here, I think I’d rather go …

FADRIUS – Don’t stay on my account!

LIZY – Thanks. (Running off)

FADRIUS – I hope, what I saw wasn’t the only thing you were doing while I was away?

GELO – Of course it wasn’t, teacher. I re-read carefully the manuscript of «Great Magical Achievements». And learned two new spells of wind.

FADRIUS – Wind? Perhaps, that’s why all your feeling and thoughts are all over the place!

GELO – Teacher, forgive me. I was distracted just for a few minutes. Before that I was working really hard with your tasks.

FADRIUS – Don’t defend yourself. A Wizard who gets distracted for even one minute is not a Wizard at all. Those who distract him can use him as a weapon.

GELO – But Lizy is not an enemy! She is the Lady in Waiting of our Queen, and my fiancé.

FADRIUS – That’s not the point! The point is, that you could be under somebody’s influence. You could become a slave of emotions and feelings. But for a real Wizard, that is intolerable.

GELO – But how can you live without emotions? After all we’re humans.

FADRIUS – In the first place we are Wizards! And a Wizard’s emotions should be controlled by his mind. And the mind should only be controlled by logic and rationality. And if your mind was to be controlled by someone else, even for just a short moment there could be irreparable damage. You are a Wizard, and in your hands, there lies special powers. And only you should have the power to control them. And nobody else!

GELO – But it’s impossible to live like that. It means that you couldn’t open yourself to nobody, and you couldn’t trust anybody completely…

FADRIUS – Us Wizards are bestowed with many great powers. And it is well known that those who have great powers should have greater responsibilities. We are paying a great price for our gift.

GELO – Teacher, but Lizy and I love each other.

FADRIUS – Get that rubbish out of your head! You shouldn’t love anybody. That’s the price for gaining such a power. Love is only permitted to normal people. Love is a sign of weakness. Love is forgiveness of mistakes. You are supposed to be strong and wise. But the strong and wise are not permitted to make mistakes and be weak.

GELO – But how can I create goodness without love?

FADRIUS – Goodness – is a concept of relativity.

GELO – I don’t understand what you mean?

FADRIUS – What might be good in someone’s eyes might be bad and harmful in another’s. A fire in a furnace of a blacksmith is goodness and a blessing. A fire in a larder where food and vegetables are kept will be destructive and damaging.

GELO – Then how can one distinguish, one from the other?

FADRIUS – In time I will explain everything. But for now, remember the most important thing. When you become a real Wizard, you will gain great power. And a great power doesn’t need emotions. Power demands a strong mind!

GELO – What about Lizy? You mean I will never be allowed to marry her?

FADRIUS – Of course, I wouldn’t recommend you being tied down by marriage for the rest of your life. But if you can’t help yourself – marry then. But not under this stupid thing called ‘love’. Do it under the name of the basic instinct to reproduce. Understand?

GELO – In all honesty – No…

FADRIUS – Don’t worry, with years you’ll smarten up. In the worst-case scenario, you will grow up and understand it. But now there are more important things at hand.

GELO – I’m listening to you attentively, teacher.

FADRIUS – In a moment the Queen will come here. Quickly clean up after yourself, and wait close by, while I talk with Her Majesty. You will be needed soon.

Gelo starts to clean up the papers on the table. The Queen comes on stage. With her appearance Gelo bows and goes off stage.

FADRIUS – I’m glad to see you are in good health, my Queen.

QUEEN – What good health, Fadrius! The treasury is empty! Things are going from bad to worse!

FADRIUS – Does that reflect on your health?

QUEEN – Very much so! Because of everything I have a morbid migraine.

FADRIUS – You need to unravel and have a good time.

QUEEN – With what money?! It’s over half a year since the last time I thrown a ball. I haven’t ordered a new dress all week. I have nothing to wear into town.

FADRIUS – Your Majesty, you already have a beautiful wardrobe of dresses. There are three thousand three hundred and twenty-seven dazzling dresses, for all thinkable occasions.

QUEEN – What are you talking about! You think I should go about in old rags? How can you all be so cruel to your Queen!

FADRIUS – But of course not Your Majesty! We all love you. I’m just thinking that the kingdom can survive without new dresses and balls. What is more important is that, by my calculations this year we will have a drought. And a bad harvest would destroy our peasants.

QUEEN – Stop trying to scare me. You’re telling me that I might starve!

FADRIUS – Not you. But it will be hard for your subjects to survive the drought.

QUEEN – Well do something then, after all you’re a Wizard.

FADRIUS – I’m sorry Your Majesty, but there is nothing I can do.

QUEEN – Why? It is so easy. One magic spell and we will have good weather.

FADRIUS – The matter is, my Queen I have become too old. I do not possess the magic power that is needed to do anything…

QUEEN – Here we go, you’re upsetting me again! My migraine is coming back, shame on you!

FADRIUS – Your Majesty, I want you to know the truth. My powers are deteriorating.

QUEEN – I don’t want to hear that! You have to do something. I can’t lead this disgusting life anymore. I’m sick and tired of all the problems, which my ministers are throwing at me.

FADRIUS – But Your Majesty after the death of the King you are now the head of state, and you should rule the country.

QUEEN – It’s always done something, something, something… Why do I owe everyone something, and they don’t owe me anything?

FADRIUS – That’s the burden of power. A head of state is not only about the right to rule, but the responsibility for the country’s affairs and all the people in it.

QUEEN – And who will take care of me?!

FADRIUS – Us, your beloved servants.

QUEEN – I don’t feel it! All that I see is your desire to upset me more and more each day.

FADRIUS – (Disheartened) Your Majesty, just today I was going to tell you all about my new plan. It is possible; if it succeeds it will solve all our problems.

QUEEN – And I will be able to throw a dazzling ball at last?

FADRIUS – (Heavy sigh) Yes, I hope you will.

QUEEN – Fadrius! If your plan will not help me to find money to buy new outfits, then why do I need it? What’s the point?!

FADRIUS – There are more important things in the Kingdom than balls and new dresses.

QUEEN – Don’t talk such nonsense! I thought you were a smart Wizard. But I guess I was wrong about you.

FADRIUS – I won’t argue with you. But anyway, let me explain my plan.

QUEEN – Oh! How boring and frustrating this is… Ok, I’m listening.

FADRIUS – My dear Queen, I have been thinking for a very long time, what can help our Kingdom from the disastrous events, which preceded us after the Kings death. I wanted to find one solution to all the problems. For days and nights, I was restless trying to find the answer…

QUEEN – Fadrius, can you get to the point. I feel my migraine coming back.

FADRIUS – I think I have found the answer. The only thing that will help us is a MIRACLE. There is a mention of it in a very old magical manuscript. This MIRACLE is hidden very far away, near the edge of the earth.

QUEEN – What is this?

FADRIUS – It is a certain magical substance able to grant the wishes of the beholder. But unfortunately, only one wish is permitted.

QUEEN – (Disappointed) Only one! That’s a disgrace. I’ve already accumulated a thousand different wishes.

FADRIUS – That’s not the biggest problem my Queen. I think I will be able to create a formula that can grant all the thousand wishes you have. Especially since most of your wishes are not very varied or original.

QUEEN – If this is true, why haven’t you brought this MIRCALE to my palace?

FADRIUS – That’s my biggest problem. I cannot do this.

QUEEN – Here we go! You’re trying to upset me again.

FADRIUS – The problem is that my powers aren’t what they used to be. And not everyone can get to the place where the MIRCACLE is kept. But even if one can overcome all the hurdles and get there, there is still the problem to actually obtain it. The only one who can possess this MIRACLE is someone with a pure soul and elevated intentions.

QUEEN – Someone like me?

FADRIUS – (With light irony and sarcasm) I’m afraid neither you nor me will be suitable because we’re not young and innocent as we used to be. Our souls are not pure enough to possess this MIRACLE.

QUEEN – Nonsense! My soul is pure and untainted, like a child’s tears. Just because I helped my mother in-law to an early grave, surely that doesn’t mean that I’m a sinner? That’s how everyone acts. And it wasn’t my fault that my brother in-law walked into a cage with tigers; I just informed my husband that his brother was plotting against him. I don’t know why he thought it was a good idea to go into the cage with a hungry predator, when he was drunk. And after all I’m a woman! And women are forgiven for being mischievous. So, after all I’m aloud to be in control of this MIRACLE.

FADRIUS – I’m sorry Your Majesty but the Wizard’s law is very strict. If your soul wasn’t pure enough and your intentions weren’t elevated enough you could die just by touching it.

QUEEN – (Scared) Then I don’t need any miracles!

FADRIUS – That’s why I want to send my apprentice to get this MIRACLE. He is still young and pure enough. You saw him when you came in.

QUEEN – Oh, that nice young man. But what do we get out of it? If he gets the MIRACLE, then I won’t be able to use it?!

FADRIUS – He will obtain the MIRACLE so that he can pass the test in order to become a real Wizard. Gelo will bring the MIRACLE to the palace. And I with his help will formularies this MIRACLE. Only then will Gelo become a real Wizard.

QUEEN – And then I will be able to get new dresses and throw extravagant balls every week?

FADRIUS – (Looking at her with pity) I should think, much more than that.

QUEEN – You’re not as stupid as you make out to be, Fadrius! How crafty you are. You want someone else to get the MIRACLE for you. But remember the important thing is that all my wishes come true. Don’t waste the entire MIRACLE for the Kingdoms stupid affairs, so that nothing will be left for me.

FADRIUS – Don’t worry Your Majesty, If Gelo brings back the MIRACLE I will try to use it wisely.

QUEEN – Well then, call your apprentice. I personally want to see his departure.

Fadrius walks to the side and calls Gelo. Gelo walks in and humbly waits for further instructions.

FADRIUS – Gelo! You have a great privilege. I, as your teacher have chosen your test so that you can become a real Wizard. You’ll have a long and dangerous journey. There you will find a magical substance called the MIRACLE. With its help, one can achieve any magnificent magic.

GELO – (Excitedly) Even to make all of humanity happy?

FADRIUS – (Unhappy that he was interrupted) Perhaps, even that.

QUEEN – What nonsense! A good subject would want to make his Queen happy first.

FADRIUS – Your Majesty, that’s exactly what Gelo meant. (Talking to Gelo again) Here I have prepared instructions and extracts from old magical manuscripts. They will help you find the way and acquire the MIRACLE. (Gives him instructions and extracts) You must go straight away.

QUEEN – Yes, yes. I’m tired of waiting for my wishes to come true. I have too many of them. That’s why you should hurry.

GELO – Can I say goodbye to my fiancé?

FADRIUS – Your Majesty I think you would be magnanimous to let the young ones to have a kiss goodbye. In our Kingdom you never restricted anyone to love one another.

QUEEN – (Unhappy) You use my kindness so skillfully. Ok then – Say goodbye, but not too long. (Tired and coquettishly) Everybody knows how easy it is to get along with me. One just has to agree with me. Show me to my quarters, Fadrius.

Everybody walks off stage Fadrius and the Queen to one side and Gelo hurriedly goes to the other. There is a sound of a gong.

Music plays. Blackout.

Fadrius comes on stage. He turns over the hourglass symbolizing that some time has passed. Then sits at the table and shifts through some papers. Lizy takes the stage. Lizy appears shyly.

LIZY – Dear Wizard, can I ask you something.

FADRIUS – (Hides grin and pretends to be dissatisfied) I’m listening, Lizy. What’s the matter?

LIZY – Mr. Fadrius, It’s been a week since Gelo left. And I’m sick with worry! I don’t know what to do with myself…

FADRIUS – So what?! What do you want from me?

LIZY – Can you tell me in all honesty how dangerous his journey is?

FADRIUS – Very dangerous. I’m not even sure if he will be able to complete the task at hand.

LIZY – Then why did you send him on this horrific journey?!

FADRIUS – Well, Lizy it wasn’t me who sent him. He chose his own destiny. Gelo wants to become a real Wizard, a great Wizard. And because of this he will suffer many trials and tribulations. This is the first of many. And if you really do love him then you should know the truth.

LIZY – What truth?

FADRIUS – For example, every woman can achieve someone’s love, but that doesn’t mean that love will last forever.

LIZY – I don’t understand you…

FADRIUS – Just because a man tells his woman that he loves her, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he loves only her. For every intelligent, creative, energetic man his dedication and love for his work can be greater than his love for a woman. Not all women understand this. Some of these women are even stupid enough to be jealous of a man’s work. And in the end, they make themselves and their loved ones unhappy.

LIZY – But how can one compare our love to Gelo’s passion and dedication for work?

FADRIUS – Of course you can’t! Vocation is more important! That’s why you shouldn’t get in the way of his vocation. Don’t be an obstacle in his work. You want all his attention and love; you want him to belong to you entirely, but for a determined and dedicated man it is impossible. If he doesn’t succeed in his work, he will die.

LIZY – Without our love he will die as well.

FADRIUS – (With a grin) Possibly, but I doubt it. But without his work he certainly will. Not physically. He will live like a plant. Like withering grass, he will dry up. You can even teach him to take out the rubbish or to knit. But this won’t be the real Gelo; this will be his pale shadow. In the end he will drink himself stupid or dumb-down and waste away. Gelo is the kind of man for whom work is his life. He is a man of duty! Your love is essential to him but it’s not enough for his happiness. That’s why if you wish him well, never stand between him and his work, his duty and vocation. To be prohibited to do one’s vocation is the worst thing for men. And no love can change this. Believe you me. If you mix a barrel of goodness and a barrel of evilness, you wouldn’t get two barrels of goodness. You would get two barrels of diluted evilness.

LIZY – I don’t want Gelo to be unhappy.

FADRIUS – I believe you. But you have to understand he is open to new ideas and wants changes in his life, but that is because he is still young, not because he is foolish. Don’t forget this. And anyway, in my opinion Gelo is too young and inexperienced to get married.

LIZY – So when do you think he will be experienced and old enough?

FADRIUS – When he realizes one shouldn’t hurry into marriage.

LIZY – So you’re against us getting married?

FADRIUS – I’m against the speed of this matter.

LIZY – Mr. Fadrius! You can judge me, but I have made my decision! I’m going after him. If his journey is as dangerous as you say, I want to be with him. Tell me where he went? I know he needs me. I’ll try to help him. You see I love him very much, more than life itself! I can’t just sit here and wait, not knowing what is going on with him, where is he?! At this very moment he might urgently need my help, my support, and my love…

FADRIUS – (Sighing) I cannot forbid you to go. And even if I try, you will act on your own account. So do, as you know. But remember what I told you. Help him to succeed with his mission and fulfill his dream, only then can you make him happy. Because his vocation is his destiny!

Music plays. Blackout. Curtains.

* * * * *

Scene Two.

Somewhere in the mountains, inside the cave of Hermit. Gelo lies wounded. He sleeps, though moans and repeats Lizy’s name. Hermit is cooking something on a hearth. In the center of the stage there is table and chairs. Gelo regains his consciousness and looks around the cave with bewilderment. Hermit notices this.

HERMIT – Ah, I see you’re awake? In a minute I’ll give you something to eat.

GELO – Where am I? What happened to me? Who are you? How did I get here?

HERMIT – You’ve just woken up and you are interrogating me already.

GELO – Sorry, but I don’t remember anything. The last thing I remember is the landslide in the mountains. I was walking along the mountain path, and then all of a sudden rock started falling down…

HERMIT – And from this landslide I rescued you. You were very badly hurt, but luckily, you’re still alive. You could have died.

GELO – How long have I been here?

HERMIT – I found you in the morning collecting wood, three days ago.

GELO – Three whole days! I lost three days!

HERMIT – You could have lost your life. Be happy that I found you.

GELO – Thank you very much! You saved my life. But I’m in a hurry. I have a very important matter. And I have wasted so much time!

Gelo tries to get up quickly but grimaces with pain. And with difficulty walks to the table to sit down.

HERMIT – Maybe you should eat first, and regain your strength? And then you can hurry to your worthless matters.

GELO – Why do you say that? You don’t even know why and where I am going.

HERMIT – And I don’t particularly want to know. And I don’t want to know you either.

GELO – Then why did you save me?

HERMIT – To leave someone in the mountains to die is a sin.

GELO – It seems that you are not very hospitable.

HERMIT – Yes, I don’t like guests. No matter how much you feed them they always end up drunk. And try to get under your skin or throw all their problems at you. That’s why I left people and came to live here.

GELO – Don’t you get lonely by yourself? If you don’t have no one to talk with, won’t you become dull?

HERMIT – Nothing of the sort. Whenever I want to hear something intelligent, I just talk to myself. It saves me from other people’s stupidity and idiocy.

GELO – And do you consider stupidity contagious?

HERMIT – No, but the boundaries of stupidity of one man overlaps those who are around him.

GELO – Do you really think the world only consist of stupid people?!

HERMIT – There are many who are just half-stupid, they are even worse. You never know when to deal with them or when to avoid them. And anyway, when a person is stupid, he will remain stupid forever.

GELO – Why?

HERMIT – Because stupidity is not like a woman, it won’t leave you for another man.

GELO – You have a very dark view of humanity. They don’t always act distortedly on purpose, a lot of the time they just make mistakes.

HERMIT – I agree, its human nature to make mistakes, and they use this quality to their advantage.

GELO – Why do you hate people so much?

HERMIT – But I don’t, I’m just indifferent to them. That’s just the essential condition of my loneliness.

GELO – But have you always felt that?

HERMIT – Some time ago when I lived in a valley among people. I had a friend; our friendship was the most wonderful thing in the world. I was ready to give him my whole world, myself unconditionally, because a real friendship has no egotism and no boundaries. But my world wasn’t interesting enough for him. And I was only needed like an object, which you use and then put on the shelf for the next time. And so, he used me and my friendship, only when he needed it. And then he betrayed me. Threw me away and forgot about me like I was a used handkerchief. I couldn’t stand this betrayal. I was young, and apart from his friendship I didn’t have anything at all…I decided to die. All my emotions, thoughts, and desires had to disappear. And dissolve in loneliness. And so, I went into the mountains. Since then, I have settled down here. At the end of the day my loneliness is my punishment and burden for me being young and gullible. But my loneliness is also my way to peace in mind and happiness.

GELO – Has your soul really become that stale and gloomy? Just because of your friend’s betrayal, you have turned your back on the rest of the world?!

HERMIT – What do you know about my soul, a soul of a lonely man!!! It is covered in wounds like a body of a smallpox sufferer. The soul of a lonely man is unable to create something magnificent, to fly and be joyful! It can only moan and sorrowfully watch the world go by. It doesn’t contain love or hatred. The wound of a lonely soul hurts and itches. This itch changes into emptiness and indifference. You want to peel the scab off, but you’re afraid, what if it becomes even worse. Any human contact is like a gulp of liquid in a desert, but you never know whether it is water or poison. And because of this you want to drown into an immeasurable sadness…and you’re surrounded by anguish and emptiness … But I don’t want to change anything! And I will not!

GELO – And with this heartache you hide yourself here from life and people?

HERMIT – Sometimes I come across people. I go down into the valley to the fair. I wonder among the loud and variegated crowd, peer at their faces and their eyes. Trying to understand what they are thinking and feeling about and why they are hustling and bustling…

GELO – To get lost in a crowd doesn’t mean you are a part of them!

HERMIT – I think you’re right, that’s why I seldom do it.

GELO – And how do you feel when you are doing it?

HERMIT – Lonely, but in a crowd. It is a strange feeling; all around you is commotion, conversations, other people’s lives. I’m at center of it all, but it feels I’m on the outside looking in, at people and myself. I walk around and I don’t know who I am, where I am and why I am here. I’m alive but don’t have a life…

GELO – It seems you’re bogged down in your memories. They drag you like a quagmire. Shake it off! One cannot pity himself all life and condemn others.

HERMIT – What’s it to you?!

GELO – I’m trying to understand you because you saved my life.

HERMIT – It’s not my fault; I didn’t do it on purpose…

GELO – Listen! To live in the past isn’t a life but an illusion. Real life is in the present and in dreams about the future.

HERMIT – You’re wrong. A person’s memories are his treasure, his fortune, and his assets. One can’t throw away life experiences out the window, even if they are sad and sorrowful.

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