The book

"Whenever anyone utters with sincerity the name of Babaji that devotee attracts an instant spiritual blessing." Shri Babaji, (1970-1984)

The growth experiences of a suburban mother/psychologist/wife in search for excellence. Her explorations of the numerous therapies have led her towards amazing adventures. She found Babaji's prescription of truth, simplicity and love to be the main ingredients necessary for a happy, prosperous and fulfilling life.

The author

Shdema Goodman-Moussaieff, Ed.D., a psychologist, visited with Babaji Mahavatar - first heard about him from 'Autobiography of a Yogi' - from 1978 to 1987. Dr. Goodman successfully reversed her 4cm breast tumor using mental imagery, PNI (psychoneuroimmunology) and Babaji's teachings. Shdema has been treating and training therapists including physicians, royalty and the public in her methods for over 20 years.

Shdema Goodman

Babaji

Meeting with Truth

Table of Contents

Cover

The book / The author

Title

Table of Contents

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE - Your Life is as Good as You are Able to Imagine It to Be

CHAPTER TWO - The Physical Journey of Babaji

CHAPTER THREE - Beginning the Journey to the Self

CHAPTER FOUR - Moving Closer to the Truth

CHAPTER FIVE - The Ripening Fruit

CHAPTER SIX - More Experiences with Babaji

APPENDIX

APPENDIX ONE - Babaji's Teachings by Gaura Devi And her Understandings of who he is

APPENDIX TWO - Excerpts from a Diary of a Visit

APPENDIX THREE - Interviews with Devotees

APPENDIX FOUR - Techniques of Self Healing and Goal Accomplishment

OM NAMAH SHIVAYA - BHOLE BABA KI JAI

MY EXPERIENCE WITH AARTI

Imprint

He gives everything but few ask for the real thing he has come to give.

"Whenever anyone utters with sincerity the name of Babaji that devotee attracts an instant spiritual blessing."

Shri Babaji, (1970-1984)

DEDICATED TO:

BABAJI

PEACE IN THE WORLD

LOVE FOR ALL HUMANITY

I ACKNOWLEDGE

John - my husband

Steven - my son

Gaura Devi

My parents

Ramloti

Family and friends

Om Namaha Shivaya

This is the mahamantra, the great original mantra, given by the Lord to humanity. Everyone should repeat it. It can be given to everyone and everything can be achieved through it. The power of Om Namaha Shivay is infinite. This Mantra is more powerful than the atomic bomb.

Shri Babaji (1970-1984)

Meditation: "In this dark age (Kali Yuga) the mind of man is weak and restless from the first day of birth. Because of this, no one is able to do the real practice of meditation anymore, but everyone can pray and repeat and chant the name of the Lord, using whichever divine name his religion teaches."

Shri Babaji (1970-1984)

I have come to give liberation to all of you. I have come to give the light.

Shri Babaji

I am bhole baba (the Simple Father). I am nobody and nothing. I am only like a mirror in which you can see yourself. I am like fire. Don't keep too far away or you will not get the warmth.

Shri Babaji

You can only know me through love - divine love, love for God, without any selfish purpose.

Shri Babaji

Repetition of thy name dries up the ocean of the world's misery: May there be only pure devotion at thy holy feet; My only desire is to be attached to thy form.

Haidakhan Aarati

(devotional songs)

The Lord is beyond name and form. No one is able to pretend to have reached this stage of realization. Worship remains an essential part of preparation and purification of the heart. Devotion and faith are the basis of everything. Through devotion alone, one can achieve everything. Complete faith, surrender and obedience are required.

Shri Babaji

You always speak words which remove our fear; Baba fulfills all desires.

Haidakhan Aarati

Be happy. If you are happy I am happy. Ask yourself what is your purpose in life and ask yourself why you have come here from so far. Be aware of the purpose of your coming here and strive for spiritual achievements. Live here with love for each other, like members of one family. Discard jealousy and envy. Because you are all one, live here in peace. If you are in peace, I am in peace; to serve other people is the main duty of every human being. I myself have come only to serve, to perform my duty. To be really able to serve is the greatest thing.

Shri Babaji

Nothing can be achieved without discipline. You should have the strong discipline of a soldier. Be the soldier of God, and act with courage and discipline. In this ashram and in the ashrams abroad discipline is the primary thing. Life aboard should be led the same as it is in Haidakhan.

Shri Babaji

Hail, hail to Lord Haidakhan, who incarnated for the liberation of the world!

Haidakhan Aarati

Karma is an inevitable law of cause and effect, by which all living beings reap the fruits of their actions and thoughts. Jesus stated the law of Karma in the words "as ye sow, so shall ye reap." The law of Karma is above all things. Karma starts when movement starts in the mind. To stop Karma we must bring the mind to that state of silence and voidness beyond which God can be known. Only a Yogi knows how to do this. Otherwise, as long as a man breathes, he is creating Karma. No one can remain without action, even for a minute. Therefore, learn how to dedicate your every action to the Lord.

Shri Babaji

Love and serve everyone the way you love and serve me.

Shri Babaji

"Love and serve all humanity. Help everyone. Be happy. Be courteous. Be a dynamo of irrepressible joy. Recognize God and goodness in every face. There is no saint without a past and no sinner without a future. Praise everyone. If you cannot praise someone ... let him go out of your life. Be original. Be inventive. Be courageous. Take courage again and again. Do no imitate. Be strong. Be upright. Think with your own head. Be yourself. Do not lean on the crutches of others. All perfection and every divine virtue are hidden within you, reveal them to the world. Wisdom too, is already within you - let it shine forth. Let the Lord's grace make you free. Let your life be that of the rose - in silence it speaks the language of fragrance."

Shri Babaji (February 1984)

New hospital. New Quarters.

Haidakhan is a village about 17 km. from Ranibagh, Kathgodam, District Nainital. The Shiv temple at Haidakhan is an octagonal temple. It was built in 1840. It is highly sacred. The divine cave is in existence since the creation of the world. AT this place Param Guru Mahendra Maharaj received Nine Shlokas called `Munindra Sukta' The cave is located opposite the temple at the foot-hill of the Kurumanchal Kailash. Between the cave and the temple flows the Gautam Ganga. The source of Gautam Ganga is about one km. from the temple and is called Hanuman Kund. The Gautam Ganga was brought to this point as a part of the river Ganga and is linked with Mansarovar lake. The source was created by Tripurari Bhagwan Haidakhan Bihari for Gautam Rishi who was doing tapashya at Siddheshwar hills. The water of the Gautam Ganga is just like the water of Ganga, clean and sacred. Anyone who makes a pilgrimage to this place with a clean heart becomes entitled to `Moksha'.

Muni Raj (Shri Tarlok Singhji)

Muni Raj (Shri Tralok Singh Ji) of Haldwani is a great devotee of Shri Babaji Haidakhan. He is known to be a reincarnation of Dutt Muni in direct line with Dattatray. Devotees worship and regard him very highly. He alone is responsible for keeping constant contact, maintaining supplies and helping devotees to reach Haidakhan Vishwa Mahadham. His services to Bhagwan and to the devotees in general are unequaled.

Shri V. D. Shastri

Sardar Shri Vishnu Dutt Ji Shastri (also known as Kamalo Ji) is a great Sanskrit Scholar from Alwar. He was specially blessed by Brahmchari Param Guru Mahendra Maharaj to recognize Babaji when He came to materialize Himself to be among the mortals. Shastri Ji is in possession of a crystal gazer and knows about Babaji. Haidakhan and His miracles and leelas in depth. Devotees generally consult him to know about the significance of Baba's actions and His directions. Shastri Ji is a recognized Acharya of Haidakhandi institution.

PREFACE
PREFACE TO FIRST EDITION - 1985

As we were climbing up the 108 steps, Babaji told me, "You write book."

I asked, "What is the name?"

"Haidakhan Vishwa Mahadham (The greatest place in the Universe)."

"Yes," I replied, not really believing that he was serious, wondering whether he is playing with my ego.

"It is an order," he said. "You, you, you."

"Me, me, me," I repeated, feeling puzzled. That was in 1980. Looking back now, I understand that he meant that I should write about my experiences on the three levels: physical, mental / emotional and spiritual - body / mind / spirit. I liked the idea at the time but I didn't really believe that I could do it.

I now feel ready to tackle such a project, five years later. I took notes of my experiences from time to time. Most of the time, however, making notes was a burden. I didn't want it to interfere with my experiences. So, I will reconstruct some of my most powerful experiences, hoping to remember them as accurately as possible.

PREFACE TO SECOND EDITION - 1990

I understood from `Autobiography of a Yogi' that when you make contact with Babaji, he can fulfill all your desires. That was one of the reasons I felt drawn to Babaji - wondering whether that was possible. That was in 1976. Since I met Babaji in 1978, many of the desires I had at that time were fulfilled within a few years.

However, new desires started popping up; as they are being fulfilled new ones are arising. Desires are like a bottomless pit - nonetheless to reach inner peace it may be necessary to first fulfill one's desires so that one can then experience their meaninglessness and move on to the next level of growth. This is a revised edition as I have gained more clarity on some of the teachings.

INTRODUCTION

After three years and four prolonged visits to Babaji, I was finally convinced that my experiences in the search for a harmonious self were true, valid and reliable. I was at first suspicious, skeptical, and I found as many rational explanations as I could for my experiences, to the point that nearly destroyed the beautiful exchanges of thought, feelings and uplifts. I feared what others would think. If others ridiculed or put down what I saw, then I would become anxious and embarrassed and I would begin to doubt my own experience. I wasn't even aware of the degree to which others affected me.

Such behavior seemed out of character, since I thought I was considered to be an open and "together" person, one who is very aware. I have worked as a staff psychologist in mental health clinics and taught psychology at the college level. I have also helped many people straighten up their lives, and I have done a pretty good job at that. Further, I have thoroughly explored numerous psychological schools of thought and successful therapeutic techniques. My life has been devoted to this field - to finding the quickest, the best and the most effective methods. I have been well trained in such methods as Gestalt therapy, psycho-dynamic therapy, group therapy, family therapy, Transactional Analysis, and others. In all methods, I have always experimented on my own life first. What I have experienced as profound in my own life has been passed on to others. What seemed to make good movement in my own life has been explored as fully as possible.

My search began when my son was born. I was awed by the awareness that I was responsible for a human being's happy adjustment to life. This was too important to ignore. I could no longer indulge in letting things remain as they were. More than ever, I now wanted harmony, love, understanding, and a healthy existence.

The responsibility for shaping my family's life was entirely up to me. My husband had to handle the financial burden, but it was my role to make certain that we had a good life. I often felt helpless, for I had no training in childrearing and had no idea which direction would produce the most good. I consulted with friends and read books, such as Dr. Spock, Haim Ginnot, Derkheim, Parents' Effectiveness Training, and others, both for the psychologist and for the layperson.

At some point, I became aware that the most important work lay within me. If I could get myself to feel joyful inside, then those around me would automatically benefit from my gains. To this end, I visited a Freudian analyst on a weekly basis. This experience was followed by work with a Gestalt therapist, an Adlerian therapist, a Behavior therapist, and then numerous encounters, marathons and workshops.

The benefits to my life were invaluable. I realized that fully, and wasted very little time as I continued to explore. I made good gains with practically every modality that I experienced. Each modality seemed to handle a different area of my life. As my life progressed in a positive direction, new feelings emerged which helped me in passing on my knowledge to others on a larger scale. I came to realize that our abilities are limitless, and that our brains can expand to amazing degrees, which we cannot even begin to grasp. The challenge became very enticing. If I could be successful to this point, why not find a way to create peace in the world? I certainly had nothing to lose in trying.

Krishnamurti's book Freedom from the Known, made a strong impact on my thinking. I realized that if I wanted peace in the world, I would first have to feel 100% peaceful myself. I must never blame others. I must also look inside and examine my own lack of harmony. At this stage of my development I became aware of the subtle existence of negative thoughts and feelings, such as superiority, inferiority, irritability, jealousy, anger, resentment, etc. Although these thoughts and feelings used to occur frequently, they occur less and less nowadays. Still, there is much work to be done. There is so much more to pass on to others, which I continue to do. The following experiences tell me that there is much that I can do. This book is part of that attempt.

It was April 1982. I was sitting in a restaurant in Tel-Aviv, having lunch with my sister. She was having a difficult period financially. I took out some money and gave it to her, but she refused to take it. I took it back and placed it by my heart and blessed it.

"Don't be silly," I told her. "Take it. Don't feel embarrassed. I'll tell you what. Don't spend it. Just keep it somewhere so that it will draw you good luck."

Blessing the money reminded me of Babaji's disappearing in front of my eyes in the summer of 1980, after blessing him and Indra. I suddenly understood his teaching better and I told my sister, "I grasp Babaji's teaching on a deeper level now. When I or any one of his students will learn how to bless every human being on this planet the way I just blessed you or the money I gave you, he will disappear. There will then be no more need for his physical body." My sister grinned, not commenting. She was not into Babaji and she could not relate to me in that area.

I had that inner knowing another time and I had to share it with someone. On February 13, (in India it was February 14) 1984, I was having lunch in West Orange, New Jersey, with an Israeli friend of mine. She was having some financial difficulties. Once again I spontaneously took out some money and gave it to her. She responded very much in the same manner that my sister had, but finally agreed to accept it.

At that point, I told her, "You know, I feel as though I understand Babaji's teaching on a deeper level still. When you bless God and every human being on this planet genuinely from within, all your desires will come true."

On February 14, 1984, I learned that Babaji had left his body.

CHAPTER ONE
Your Life is as Good as You are Able to Imagine It to Be

I want to pass on Babaji's message purely. Babaji wanted me to shave my hair, but I did not want to. The message in this was that my vanity was still in the way of passing on all I have learned clearly and purely, but I will now imagine that I am a bald-headed person and we will see what will emerge. I may just as well give everything to you right now. I have nothing to lose and nothing to gain, so please listen carefully so that you can gain it all.

Listen deeply with your hearts.

You want to have a good life, so please give yourself a break. I'm talking to you - yes, YOU. What follows will change your entire life for the better, if you listen with your heart and allow yourself to feel what I am saying deep inside.

Do you want to be happy? Do you want to feel good? Do you want to be successful?

You can have all that right now if you stop thinking and doing what you are doing and listen very carefully. Start feeling happy, deep deep inside. You deserve it. You are lovable just because you exist, and for no other reason. You do not have to prove to anyone that you are lovable. Deep inside you, there is a place where you feel perfect and pure love, where you wish yourself well and where you wish others well. Feel the sun in that place and send that light throughout your body, to everyone and everything. Say "I love you" from that place, and "be healed". Then visualize your life as though it is already perfect, in detail.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you felt that every person you met wished you well and genuinely wanted you to be happy?

I want you to be happy. It's more fun. I'm wishing you well from deep, deep inside me. Please allow my rays in. Please be harmonious. You are good, if you are bothering to listen. You are also good if you feel any disharmony, for it is only a mistake that is all around us that can be corrected.

Believe that you can do it right now. Communicate with that part inside of you that is perfect. Thank yourself for doing your very best.

What do we want out of life? Money, sex, love? to have everyone come to us and say how great we are? Then what? When you are satisfied, when you feel good, will you then be ready to heal the world and to share your happiness? Well, you can feel good right now. You, and not anyone else, are in charge of your feelings. Why waste a lifetime to get what you think you want to be in order to feel good? You can learn to feel those feelings now; it only takes know-how and practice, like learning a new language. Each of us has the power within us to heal ourselves through using the mind and the breath.

Imagine traveling back in time, say 2,000 years, and bringing with you an airplane, a television, a radio and a telephone, You could not just appear because you would cause too much commotion. A population is often likened to a bell curve with the most developed on the right extreme, the least developed on the left and the majority in the middle. By "most developed" we often mean those who are open to new knowledge and who would be willing to learn from you. The majority would be too busy conforming to what is expected of them, while those on the left would probably try to kill you or to worship you as a god.

On the other hand, suppose that someone from the future came here and produced the following changes in your life; along with many other changes that are too early to document:

1 Taught you to heal yourself.

2 Helped you to experience spiritual or ecstatic experiences. (Some call them body orgasms without sex or they may be likened to Maslow's peak experiences.)

3 Guided you to peaceful harmony in your relationships.

4 Improved your ability as a therapist.

5 Showed you how to get what you wanted out of your life.

How is he to be regarded? These are among the many, many changes which occurred in my life due to my experiences with Babaji. Of special importance to me is the improvement of my ability as a therapist. When I became aware of how much time, energy and thought people spend in concern over looks and clothes, I was appalled. What is our body? Nothing, really. It will disappear in 50 or 60 years time. Wouldn't it make much more sense to spend more time, energy and thought on something that will be valuable to humanity, to the world, and to future generations? Ask yourself, suppose I die tomorrow? There is no knowing anything for sure. Right? What would I want to leave behind? I would want to pass on to you right now, this treasure that I have found.

One of the things that we want is to be truly loving of every human being. It is not enough to just try to, want to or pretend to be loving. We really want to be spontaneously and genuinely loving and to serve humanity purely.

To be in a state of desirelessness is to be free of resentments towards people and life for not having one's desires fulfilled. When there is no resentment, there is only love . This state of desirelessness is the most ecstatic place I have experienced. Amazingly enough, when I am genuinely able to give up my resentments, which are due to my desires, my desires become fulfilled faster. A world in which there is only genuinely happy feelings about each person's happiness is a world worth while living in - it is built on love. Love has a magical quality to it - it is healing.

I know that when I feel angry, irritated or jealous, it is not healthy to repress my feelings. On the other hand, it is even more destructive to lash out at those whom I truly love. The healthiest action is to transform that energy to positive feelings. The truth is that, underneath it all, I truly love every human being . I'd love to see happy, smiling faces everywhere. I'd love to live on a healthy planet. In order to transform my negative thoughts to positive thoughts, the main teaching is to "surrender to my higher self". Call it God, call it your perfect self, call it the self that Carl Jung says encompasses everything and all that we have, call it that part of you that wants to love everybody and everything unconditionally. It is the harmonious self, the nonjudgmental self, the self that wants to serve humanity.

You are in charge of your feelings and thoughts and NO ONE ELSE IS. We often give power to others, to past incidents in our lives, and make ourselves feel miserable. However, ultimately, you are the one that chooses to feel good or bad, to think positive or negative thoughts. You are the one that can control your self and command it to feel. Like learning a new language, it takes practice and knowing how. Once you know how, the more you practice, the better you become.

God is love; and he that dwelleth in love, dwelleth in God, and God in him.

John, 4:16

"God is love and love is God ... Love is an awareness of this unity...."

Shri Babaji

Babaji's motto is Love, Truth, Simplicity.

I had first learned of Babaji when I read the book Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, (1945). I started reading it in 1976, enjoying parts of it, while finding other parts extremely boring. Somehow I stayed with the book and found a beautiful chapter about an amazing being called Babaji. On the surface, it sounded like a nice fairy tale, but for some unknown reason I felt deeply moved by his description and by the stories told about his activities. He supposedly had the ability to materialize a body from time to time. He does not usually stay for long periods of time in a body. Yogananda mentioned that he had met Babaji twice in his whole life. Each time, he stayed with Babaji for only a few minutes, and Yogananda considered himself extremely lucky.

Babaji is a Mahavatar, A divine incarnation, and guru of Lahiri Mahasaya. Mahavatar Babaji has refused to reveal to his disciples any limiting facts about his birthplace and birth date. He has lived for many centuries amid the Himalayan snows. "Whenever anyone utters with reverence the name of Babaji," Lahiri Mahasaya said, "That devotee attracts an instant spiritual blessing."

I tried to repeat the name Babaji several times, to see whether I felt anything and whether spiritual blessings would come my way. A part of me knew that Babaji was a reality. There was a kind of an inner knowing that was unexplainable. Most of me, however, ridiculed that possibility and left it as a good fairy tale. I understood from other parts of the book that, if you felt a yearning to meet him, you could talk to him and he could hear you from wherever he was. If you have a pure heart or if you are deserving, he can arrange for you to meet him.

I reflected inwardly to see whether I felt that I was deserving. "Yes," was my immediate response. "Why not?" was the next response. Still, I also questioned myself, "Who do you think you are?" I decided to give it a try and see if anything happened. So I imagined talking to Babaji and I said something like the following: "If you are truly around, Babaji, and this is not just a fairy tale, then I would very much want to be your student. I would love to have such a pure teacher." I then forgot all about my communication. However, unusual events occurred in my life, and two years later, I found myself sitting next to Babaji in the foothills of the Himalayas. This was a place that I would not, in my wildest imagination, ever dreamed of visiting.

One of the unusual incidents that prepared me for Babaji's teachings was meeting with some Western renunciates who were the disciples of an Indian Tantric master. The way I understand it, a renunciate is a person who has given up worldly attachments in order to gain higher purity and awareness. Their spontaneity and aliveness attracted me. I was introduced to Kundalini meditation. I was impressed with the wisdom that seemed to pour out of the people with whom I interacted. One renunciate asked me, "When are you going to India?"

India was the furthest thing from my mind.

"Tomorrow," I replied jokingly.

Why not? was my next thought. It would certainly be a liberating experience to just pick up and go. What a luxury! But I could not do it. My first consideration was money. I didn't have enough for such a trip. Then, suddenly, in that same week, for the first time in my life, I had some money of my own, about $2,000. I had never before had that amount to myself. It suddenly became clear to me that I was destined to go to India. If not, why had the money suddenly appeared? I felt a surge of excitement within me. Why not? What else was stopping me? My husband, my son, and my work. Thinking it through, I decided that everyone would benefit if I continued to grow emotionally. I finished my duties as a clinical staff psychologist and as adjunct professor at Kean College. In July, 1977, I flew to India. I decided to experiment with becoming a renunciate and I was given the name Ma Prem Shivani (Mother/Goddess of Love). My life began to take on a new form. I realize now that, without this person's teachings, I would have never understood Babaji. I would have run away, discarding his teaching as crazy.

In India, I felt as though I had discovered myself. I joined a few encounter groups and released a lot of junk from my past. Most of the groups were conducted in the nude. I at first felt resistance to taking my clothes off. The group leader said in disdain, "You are a therapist and you are embarrassed to take your clothes off? What happens when a patient tells you about his sex life? Do you also feel embarrassed?"

I reflected on my interactions with patients and realized that I did feel uncomfortable when the subject of sex came up. I pondered how I could be helpful to someone else if I myself had not yet resolved that discomfort in me.

I took off my clothes. It did not take long to adjust because it really was not a big deal. As time went by, I became freer and new experiences started happening. For example, I started experiencing new states of ecstasy or, as some call it, body orgasms in the absence of sex. My whole body would start melting into some kind of energy field and I would vibrate with delicious feelings that reached very high peaks. I certainly didn't expect it to be that good.

While I was in India, I remember thinking of Babaji and calling his name. I felt a little foolish yet open to the possibility of his appearing to me.

"Babaji, I am in India now. It is really you that I want to meet."

At the end of my visit, I wondered if it would be healthier and a more genuine life for me to stay in India for good. I was very tempted. In the end, I decided to return home. Now that I knew what ecstasy was like, I would try to find a way to maintain it and to bring it home with me to my family and friends.

I remained a disciple of this tantric teacher for one year. At times, I felt embarrassed and even ashamed of the idea of having a guru. Most of the time, however, I was able to feel high and content. Although I encountered a lot of resistance at home, for the most part my friends were intrigued and supported me in my new venture, at least at first. Later on they felt scared of my new knowledge (so I thought) and avoided me. I felt scared, too. At first I did not trust my judgment enough and longed for support. In contrast, now I feel certain and the results in my life are a good proof that this path is valid.

I did not want to handle being considered a kook. So after one year of struggling with it, I decided either to totally commit myself to it or drop it. I didn't feel honest being considered a disciple to some and hiding it from others. So I decided to drop it.

I conduct therapeutic workshops and educational seminars for people, like myself, who do not need deep rooted psychological work but who would like to improve the quality of their lives. In the middle of one of the workshops I was conducting, I announced that I was changing my name back to Shdema and that I was no longer a disciple.

Within that very same week, I met Leonard Orr, who started talking about his meeting with Babaji. I nearly jumped out of my chair in excitement and disbelief.

"You don't mean the Babaji from Autobiography of a Yogi, do you?"

Yes, that is the one I am talking about."

"Yippie," I shouted. "He is in a body?"

"Yes, he materialized a body in 1970."

I could not help feeling skeptical. It was too good to be true. Was it possible that Babaji was not a fairy tale after all? I felt both elated and suspicious.

I have come to give, only to give. Are you ready to receive? I give everything, but few ask for the real thing I have come to give." Shri Babaji (1970-1984)

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