For Louis and Ibe, you are both my inspiration.

For Mum, for starting me on the reading journey.

First published in Great Britain in 2014 by Egmont UK Limited

The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road

London, W11 4AN

Text copyright © 2014 Alison David

The moral rights of the author have been asserted

First e-book edition 2014

ISBN 978 1 4052 7154 7

eISBN: 978 1 7803 1703 8

www.egmont.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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Our story began over a century ago, when seventeen-year-old Egmont Harald Petersen found a coin in the street. He was on his way to buy a flyswatter, a small hand-operated printing machine that he then set up in his tiny apartment.

The coin brought him such good luck that today Egmont has offices in over 30 countries around the world. And that lucky coin is still kept at the company’s head offices in Denmark.

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Dedication and Copyright

Introduction

Chapter 1: Screen time: finding a balance

Chapter 2: Pre-school: ages 0–4

Chapter 3: Starting school: ages 5–7

Chapter 4: Choosing to read: ages 8–11

Chapter 5: Staying connected: ages 12–16

Bookshelf

Resources and acknowledgments

Introduction

EXPERT VIEW

Children who read for pleasure are not only better at English but are also better at maths. Children who read for pleasure make more progress over time. Reading for pleasure brings a wider vocabulary and enables the child to take on new concepts.

Dr Alice Sullivan, Institute of Education

I believe reading for pleasure is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child. It is a gift of love that will stay with them throughout their life. I am passionate about encouraging children to read for enjoyment. This is a book for parents who also want that for their child.

Everyone knows that reading is the foundation of learning and education, but what is less well known is that if a child reads for pleasure it is the single biggest indicator of their likely future success – much more than parents’ educational background or social status (see here). It’s also an amazing way for a mother or father to bond with their child. The magic of story and the shared experience of reading together in the early years will stay with you throughout their childhood and beyond.

I have learned a lot about helping children love reading through being a mum and through my work. Louis, my son, is now a teenager and we have, in the course of his life so far, read hundreds of books together. I can honestly say that reading to and with him is one of the most joyful and pleasurable things we do together. I have seen Louis blossom, grow and flourish through the power of reading. I have spent a lot of time encouraging him – as well as my nephew and niece and the children of friends – to read.

I work for Egmont, a children’s book and magazine publishing company, and my job involves researching and interviewing children and their parents to understand what encourages and what hinders reading. I want to know why and how children’s reading thrives in some families, despite the myriad distractions of life, and why in some families it struggles. I also work with schools, seeking out teachers’ opinions on how reading for pleasure can be encouraged at home and at school. I regularly go into a primary school both for my job and as a volunteer to listen to the children reading. From every viewpoint I see both the magic that reading for pleasure brings, and the huge gap left if children don’t experience it.

So my reasons for writing this book are to share what I know about helping children to love reading for pleasure and to explain why it is so important that they do.

Before I explore some of the fundamentals of childhood reading, I have some questions for you to think about.

• Do you consciously make sure there is some quiet time and that you have a routine for your child to read for pleasure?

• Do you regularly read to and with your child?

• Are all sorts of books and other reading materials, such as magazines, easily accessible and visible at home?

• Do you have rules limiting the amount of screen time your child can have?

• Does your child see you read for pleasure and do you make a point of having time away from screens?

If you answered no to any of these, read on! (And don’t worry, you are not alone.)

How the book works

There is advice from the early years all the way through to the teens, so whatever age your child is when you come to this book you can find plenty of help and ideas. But to encourage a love of reading, the earlier you start the better. It allows the maximum time for your child to grow up with reading and for the love of it to take root and become part of their life.

Although the chapters are divided into age groups, they are guidelines only. I can’t stress enough that all children are different, that they develop at different speeds and that there is no such thing as a typical child. So if your child is not yet at the reading stage I talk about, don’t worry, don’t get stressed, don’t nag your child, just enjoy the special time you spend together reading. It will stick eventually.

Each chapter has advice on the reading habit, what the reading home should be like, how to read aloud and with your child, a list of handy Dos and Don’ts and some broad pointers to developmental stages in childhood appropriate to the age range. All of this is based on my research with families and schools, as well as my personal experiences. There are also comments from three specialists: David Reedy, General Secretary of the United Kingdom Literacy Association and a literacy expert; Dr Amanda Gummer, a research psychologist and child development expert; and Dr Aric Sigman biologist and psychologist, who works on raising awareness among children, parents and doctors of the potential impact of electronic media and screen dependency.

Why is reading for pleasure vital?

This book is not about the academic importance of reading – there is little or no debate about that (or at least there shouldn’t be). This book is about creating a lifelong love of reading for pleasure, because above all else there are so many wonderful things that reading brings to children: comfort and reassurance, confidence and security, relaxation, happiness and fun. It feeds their imagination, helps them to empathise and it even improves their sleeping patterns. And reading is a really important element of family life. It provides a connection between you and your child from the very early days through to teens and beyond. It’s a strong ‘glue’ for your relationship, bringing you closer together through the sharing of reading and stories. It helps build long-lasting family ties and provides a shared set of stories and experiences that are unique to your family.

EXPERT VIEW

Families who enjoy reading have more opportunities for discussion, developing empathy and attachment. Reading as a skill also boosts confidence in children as they are able to self-teach almost any subject once they have learned to read.

Dr Amanda Gummer, child development expert

Without reading, childhood is poorer: children are missing out on one of life’s great pleasures and the huge advantages that reading can bring. I talked with a teaching assistant who works with children who don’t have happy lives – she sums up very well what reading can do:

I work individually with the children who really struggle with reading. I spend extra time with them to support their learning and afterwards I often read to them. I will never forget one boy. He was 14 and a ‘problem’ child, always in trouble, aggressive, could barely read for himself and deprived in lots of ways. Over the weeks, I worked through the Alex Rider stories with him and he loved them. One day when I was reading aloud to him this troubled boy leaned over and rested his head on my shoulder. It made me so sad. We are not allowed to touch, much less hug the pupils, but he so needed it. It made me realise that reading is so much more than just the story.

Caroline, teaching assistant

EXPERT VIEW

When children and young people are engaged in reading they learn crucially important lessons which will stand them in good stead throughout their lives. They learn that reading is fulfilling and that you do it for a variety of different purposes. Sometimes it is hard-going, but children develop the understanding that if they keep going they will achieve fulfilment and pleasure. This happens with all kinds of reading material, including novels, poems and information books.

David Reedy, literacy expert

You would think that with all these benefits reading would be really widespread. Yet, through my work and observations, I have seen children across the entire social scale who do not benefit from it and it truly makes me sad. I hope writing this book will help change things.

Why doesn’t reading happen?

There are lots of reasons why children’s reading is struggling. Its position, as a staple of entertainment and relaxation, has become challenged by hectic family lives and a simple lack of time; there has been too much emphasis placed on reading as a skill and not as a pleasure; and it has suffered in comparison to shiny new gadgets, devices and screen time in general.

Of course the age range covered in this book encompasses all of childhood so the demands and distractions vary hugely depending on the age of your child. In the pre-school years, you will have a lot more control over what your child gets up to. When school starts, the demands of after-school activities, clubs, homework and the wish to be with friends, will all impinge on the time you have together, and the time your child has separately, to read.

Meanwhile technology controls so much of the time available these days. Children of two won’t be texting their friends (yet!), but they may well be playing games on a mobile phone. Teenagers will be texting their friends as well as playing games on their phone. Throughout the book I have provided age- or developmental-stage specific advice about how to free up time, regardless of the daily demands, to help your child enjoy reading.

One of the things that parents most often tell me is that they wish their child would read for pleasure, or read more than they do. Often they sound as if they think it’s a lost cause. But it really is possible to change your family’s and your child’s habits. You just need to get involved to help make it happen.

The trouble is that we live in a very challenging world where time and energy are routinely sapped. As parents we are the ones who keep the show on the road, and we are under constant pressure as we try to juggle working life with home life, getting children up and to school, focusing attention on our work, their needs, meals and clean clothes, keeping the house in some semblance of order and supervising homework. Parents have told me they feel overwhelmed. The idea of making time each day for their child’s reading, beyond schoolwork, seems like yet another thing to do.

Don’t despair if this sounds like your life. The good news is it is not hard to find time for reading and it is absolutely not another chore. In fact it’s a huge pleasure for you and your child. You will come to cherish the time you spend together.

EXPERT VIEW

Reading together can be a way of relaxing before bedtime and may promote more restful, easier sleep, so it’s well worth the time spent. And children benefit hugely from having you to themselves for a period of time, even if it’s just ten minutes.

Dr Amanda Gummer

One of my recent research projects involved a very simple task for families with children at primary school. It was over a summer holiday and I asked parents to commit to at least ten minutes every day reading to or with their child. The results were amazing! In nearly every case the amount of reading and the enthusiasm for reading increased markedly. The response of Tariq (age 8) when he was back at school after the holidays was typical of the ones I got from just about all the children: ‘I would like to read more and more each day. I love reading with my mum and dad.’ One mum told me that before the project her daughter did not read for pleasure very much. Time was the main problem and the lack of a reading routine exacerbated it. The mother felt very guilty. After the holidays had ended, Rose (age 6) simply said ‘I enjoyed it. I felt jolly and excited. When my mum finished reading I wanted her to read more.’ This was on the back of simply setting aside ten minutes each day.

What you need to do

As you read through the book, you’ll find lots of ideas and tips about how to read to and with your child, how to make your home a ‘reading home’ and so on. I just want to talk briefly about the fundamentals that underpin the whole ‘project’ of turning your child into a lifelong reader.

Make a commitment

First you need to make a commitment to get involved and stay involved, probably for longer than you think. It is not a quick fix. You need to share with them and encourage them well into their teens, creating a rich environment for reading for pleasure to flourish.

Avoid putting pressure on your child

The point about reading for pleasure is that it is for pleasure. Don’t stress about the level your child is reading at or about the subject matter or format – the point is that they are reading. I’ve met many families where school reading becomes the priority. In the primary school years parents will talk about reading homework and focus on their child moving up the reading levels. I have also seen plenty of families where a bedtime story happens much less – or even not at all – because it is replaced by the child doing their school reading. Of course it’s vital that our children learn to read. The world is competitive and they need to read to do well at school. But if we are not careful we can give them a message that reading is something they have to do, that it’s a chore, that it’s just homework. In their minds it can become no fun. If children feel pressured we can easily turn them off reading.

EXPERT VIEW

One of the best ways to take the pressure off is for them to see you enjoying reading and for you to talk to them about an interesting book you’ve read recently. Children learn by copying and you are your child’s version of ‘normal’, so if you read for pleasure, they will expect to grow up reading too.

Dr Amanda Gummer

Don’t make assumptions

There is a prevailing assumption that once children can read, they will read. Not so! Quite simply, many children don’t want to read because they don’t associate it with pleasure. Getting your child to read for pleasure is much more than getting them to the point where they can read independently, and your role in this is really, really important. Let the school take the lead on teaching reading and support the school in this by listening to your child read their school books. However, your focus should be primarily on instilling the love of reading. If the focus is on the pleasure of it and children grow to love it, the rest will follow. Together with the school you will create a reader.

Children who have parental support at home and read for pleasure have a much wider range of vocabulary, and their verbal reasoning is much more advanced than those who do not. Their education journey is going to be much more rapid than those children who don’t read for pleasure.

East Midlands primary school teacher

Reclaim quiet time

Our children’s lives are conspicuously lacking in quiet time and this is, of course, when reading happens. Lack of quiet time is probably one of the biggest challenges to children’s reading for pleasure today, so carve out time when all screens are off (including your own!) and when interruptions are kept to a minimum.

Understand today’s child

Parents often say to me ‘I don’t understand why my child doesn’t read because I used to love it so much.’ I can say with certainty if you contrast your own childhood with your child’s you can see why: after-school clubs, homework, 24/7 on-tap entertainment from consoles, phones, laptops and television – all these things compete successfully with reading.

Think about when you were a child. You will have some memories of technology, but how much will depend on how old you are! In the 1970s your family might have played the tennis game Pong through the TV, in the 1980s you may have played Space Invaders in arcades or had an Amstrad computer. Gradually through the 1990s and beyond, more families got PCs and computer gaming gained in popularity.

But whatever you had access to, I can guarantee there is vastly more of it in your child’s world now. You would have had plenty of time where there was not much to do, when you were at a loose end and so would have picked up a book. I think many adults who love to read quite possibly came to it in the first place for want of anything else to do. This isn’t as odd as it might sound: reading is nothing more than a habit, and like all habits it needs time to establish itself.

EXPERT VIEW

Today, there is a reduction in reading print texts (books, magazines, etc.) and a significant increase in screen time. An argument can be made that children are reading lots on screen – instructions, social media messages – but it is the reading of extended texts that is diminishing, in other words books that take ideas and develop them over a sequence of episodes or sections. Children have to learn that not all reading can be done in bite-size pieces but that there is pleasure, purpose and deeper fulfilment in longer reading experiences.

David Reedy

Of course, time is the one thing our children don’t have a lot of and screen time is the handiest and quickest fix when boredom strikes. Our children have so little time when their minds can be still, the likelihood of them picking up a book for ten minutes or an hour is so much less than when we were growing up. Reading needs quiet time to take root and grow. Since lives today are very short of this we need to create that time for our children. So, don’t book activities after school every day, have a day or two when reading is the thing to look forward to.

Help them with reading choices

Ensuring your child has plenty of reading choices is an important part of helping your child love reading. If there are new and exciting things to read, this should be a great encouragement. The trouble is, although there is a huge variety of books to choose from, many children don’t get to see them. Many retailers only stock the big names and high-profile newly published books. There is a vast choice behind all this, available in so many different places.

Have a look in libraries and charity and secondhand shops; talk to teachers, friends, your child’s friends and their parents; or go online to look at reading platforms there. The world really is awash with good and interesting things to read – booksellers do not have a monopoly on this. And remember, all reading is good reading, so include comics, magazines, graphic novels, even newspapers as they get older.

As your child develops interests you can pick up on these as ways into reading. Everything they enjoy can be used to inspire them to read, from interests and hobbies to having favourite authors and choosing more by the same person, to getting into a series and working through it, to reading books that mirror experiences like the first time on a plane or at the dentist. Once you start thinking about all the things your child experiences and is involved in, you will find inspiration for new reading material.

Think about what interests your child and what he or she is good at. Whatever it is, you will be sure to find something appealing to read that reflects their enthusiasms. This should motivate them and inspire them to read. Of course interests come and go, but there is always something to reflect their current fascination or obsession. Here are some suggestions of different types of reading material for a range of ages. This list is really the tip of the iceberg; there is masses of choice out there, both fiction and information books, and something interesting for even the most picky child to read. I do hope it gives you some ideas.

• If your child loves to draw, do jigsaw puzzles or read maps, then they might enjoy books with maps, lots of illustrations and interactivity. At picture book age The Jolly Postman might fit the bill; at older ages the Tintin series or Shaun Tan books such as The Arrival. Try the Big Picture Press’ Maps book.

• If your child loves being active, playing sport, dancing, or doing things with their hands, try books about children that are like them. Perhaps the Football Academy series, or a classic such as Ballet Shoes. For non-fiction consider The Football Book or Stitch-by-Stitch.

• If they are obsessed with a character on TV, look out for books and magazines about them.

• If your child loves music and rhythm, read them nursery rhyme books when they are young, and poems as they get older. Try the Jump up and Join in books by Carrie and David Grant. Rhyming picture books are fantastic, for example Cats Ahoy by Peter Bently, anything by Julia Donaldson, The Giant Jam Sandwich by John Vernon Lord and Janet Burroway. For older children, Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T. S. Eliot is great fun.

• If they love interacting with people, then books about families and friendship might click: My Big Shouting Day! by Rebecca Patterson, Dave and the Tooth Fairy by Verna Allette Wilkins, Hubert Horatio Bartle Bobton-Trent by Lauren Child, Dogger by Shirley Hughes, The Most Impossible Parents by Brian Patten, Grandpa Chatterji by Jamila Gavin or Coming to England by Floella Benjamin. For teens, try books such as The Greengage Summer by Rumer Godden or The L-Shaped Room by Lynne Reid Banks.

• If your child loves words and enjoys playing with words and sounds, you could try Silly Verse for Kids by Spike Milligan, Noisy Poems by Jill Bennett, or Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes.

• If your child loves gaming, there are even books about that too – strategy books for older children, guide books and so on. Try the Minecraft books.

• If they are fascinated about how things work, plenty of factual books fit the bill. Try the Usborne See Inside series. Or Egmont’s In One End and Out the Other.

• If your child is logical and analytical, likes to experiment and solve puzzles, then at a young age they might like search and find books. When they get older consider puzzle books: try Logic Puzzles by Sarah Khan, and for teens perhaps mysteries such as The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon, or Mummies: Mysteries of the Ancient World by Paul Harrison.

• If your child is fascinated by the natural world then factual nature books might click. For example Is a Blue Whale the Biggest Thing There Is? by Robert E. Wells, and for the older child My Family and Other Animals by Gerald Durrell. Also try books about animals, such as Hammy the Wonder Hamster by Poppy Harris and Varjak Paw by S. F. Said.

• If they love a film or TV series, seek out the book it’s based on, for example The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson.

• If your child is technology mad, see if reading digitally is inspiring for them. Got a teen who loves their phone and texting? Try Txtng: The Gr8 Db8 by David Crystal.

For more suggestions see here.

EXPERT VIEW

Finding the right hook to engage a child in a book is difficult to plan as it may depend on the child’s mood at the time. However, you can validate their interests and personalities by introducing books that reflect their interests and that are accessible for them in terms of vocabulary and sentence structure. This will pay dividends and help with holistic development, not just literacy. Books with characters that a child can relate to can enhance inter- and intra-personal intelligence and those with problems to solve can develop logical thinking skills. Visually descriptive books, with maps and routes, can engage spatial intelligence skills, and traditional goody and baddy books can promote the development of morality.

Dr Amanda Gummer

Help Your Child Love Reading is a book born out of my passionate belief that establishing a love of reading for pleasure is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. I know my own experience as a mum and that of others I meet in the course of my work bear this out completely. If there is one thing that comes of writing this book, I’d like it to be for parents to realise their involvement really really matters. You absolutely can make a difference to your child’s enjoyment of reading and it will bring your family so much happiness. I wish you every success. Believe me, it’s worth it.

Alison David, May 2014

You may have tangible wealth untold,
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I, you can never be –
I had a Mother who read to me.

‘The Reading Mother’, Strickland Gillilan

Chapter 1: Screen time

EXPERT VIEW

Recreational screen time is children’s main waking activity. By the age of seven, the average child born today will have spent one full year of 24-hour days watching recreational screen media. It’s hardly a coincidence that at the same time reading continues to decline.

Dr Aric Sigman, biologist and psychologist

Lurking behind every parent’s anxiety about reading and school work is the dreaded screen. It seems to hold a magnetic attraction for children (and adults) and has infiltrated our lives at a furious pace and across all age groups.

Our children spend a lot of time in front of screens. There are various studies and statistics bandied around – for instance, an average of 1 in every 12 waking minutes, or 6.5 hours a day (that’s 20 years of your life by the time you reach 80!) are spent in front of a screen. Whatever it is, it’s certainly a lot and in some families it is taking over leisure time completely with the result that there is little time left for other things.

There’s no doubt that the digital world offers our children exciting entertainment, education and stimulation. Children can learn logic, quick thinking, problem solving and strategy from gaming, and much socialising is now done through texting and social media. But I think screen time should be part of a rich and varied childhood and not dominate our children’s lives – certainly if you want your child to do other things, and especially if you want them to read.

Lots of parents tell me they would like their child to spend less time on digital entertainment and more time reading, as well as enjoying other things such as playing outside, getting involved with sport, taking part in imaginary and creative play, enjoying their toys, interacting with other children and so on. In other words, not spending the vast majority of their time in front of a screen.

The truth is that time spent on screen-based entertainment is eroding or even replacing time for other things. Parents I talk to have conflicting emotions about all this. Despite feeling anxious about it they see their children are happy, having fun, socialising with their friends, becoming more and more tech savvy. And that has got to be a good thing in this day and age, hasn’t it? So this is really not an easy problem to tackle.

Spending so much time in front of a screen also means children have become accustomed to immediate entertainment. They are growing up with the instant gratification that comes from digital attractions. This is one of the reasons that reading holds less appeal for children today. The ultimate reward from completing a good book is enormous, but it is not instant – it takes a while and some effort to get there. Watching television or YouTube, on the other hand, is a passive activity. Entertainment is presented fully formed and all children have to do is watch it. Gaming and texting are interactive but are also instant – and responses to actions, such as levelling up, winning a game and responses to texts all tend to come thick and fast.

EXPERT VIEW

Gaming produces a burst of the brain’s reward chemical dopamine, a substance implicated in all addictions. Interestingly, although ‘computer game addiction’ is being increasingly recognised by the medical profession, they do not recognise ‘book addiction’. And while health departments now recommend limits on children’s screen time, curiously they’re not recommending a limit on reading time or number of books kept in the child’s bookcase. There are a growing number of in-patient clinics for computer addiction, yet there are no Roald Dahl rehab clinics. This is because reading is a very different and more timely neurological and intellectual process, requiring far more inference and cognitive work on the part of the developing child.

Dr Aric Sigman

And gaming and texting only really need short bursts of concentration. Reading requires effort and attention to make sense of the text and follow the story. In other words, it requires sustained concentration.

So not only is it less effort to passively absorb TV programmes, watch videos and to play computer games, but also the rewards come quicker. And the more children do these things, the more their brains become accustomed to them, the more they want and expect that kind of entertainment, and the harder it is for them to concentrate for a longer period of time on something like reading without being distracted.

EXPERT VIEW

The moving image of screen entertainment is the perfect medium to produce strong rewards for paying attention to something. Compared to the pace with which real life unfolds and is experienced by young children, screen entertainment portrays life with the fast-forward button fully pressed. Rapidly changing images, scenery and events – zooms, pans and edits – and high-fidelity sounds are highly stimulating and, of course, extremely interesting. Once you are used to food with E numbers and flavour enhancers, real food doesn’t taste as interesting. Modern screen entertainment is the flavour enhancer of the audio-visual world, providing unnatural levels of sensory stimulation. Nothing in real life is comparable to this. Screen entertainment overpays the young child to pay attention to it, and in so doing it may corrupt the reward system that enables that child to pay attention to other things in life, such as books.

Dr Aric Sigman

There is no doubt in my mind that the desire for screen time can be compulsive. It can also become obsessive, and I think it’s not too strong to say that then it is like a drug. In the worst cases, studies have shown that the changes addiction makes to the brain of an internet addict are similar to those of a drug or alcohol addict: X-rays reveal that pathways to the parts of the brain associated with emotions, decision-making and self-control are interrupted. So these addicts might present as being unable to connect emotionally outside a video game, for instance. At the time of writing it’s estimated that 5–10 per cent of internet users are unable to control their usage and are considered addicts. These numbers are small and the point I make is extreme, but the power of screen-based entertainment to hook us is abundantly clear in our daily lives. And other studies have found a significant link between excessive social networking usage and depression.

As a parent, I know you’ll have seen the big negative impact – physically, mentally and emotionally – that excessive screen time can have on your child. All the families I have talked to, without exception, have observed changes in their children’s behaviour after too much screen time, whether it be TV, gaming or texting. These changes range from being mildly obsessive, over-excited or lacking in concentration on other things, through to being moody, bad-tempered, hyperactive or even outright aggressive when told it’s time to switch off the machine.

Children can get fixated when trying to get past the next level in a game, checking social media updates, replying to texts or watching the next instalment of something on YouTube. Like addicts they can lose interest in other things as a result. Think about your own need to keep checking emails or your phone for texts. How hard do you find it to switch off and be still, to concentrate on reading? I know how hard it is for me. It’s the same, if not worse, for children.

EXPERT VIEW

Children are understandably influenced by sensation-seeking and instant gratification without their impulse control being fully developed, and so their ability to self-regulate their own screen time is extremely limited.

Dr Aric Sigman

How screens are used for entertainment in the home is therefore a vital element in your child’s reading development. If you want your child to read for pleasure, you’ll need to give the whole issue a lot of thought, not only considering the negative aspects of digital entertainment, the internet and computers, but also the positive ones.

He plays on his Xbox before breakfast, after breakfast and after school. We’d like him to focus his energies into other things but it’s like fighting a losing battle.

Parents to Jordan, age 12

Reading for pleasure and recreational screen time can coexist. I have met families where reading thrives despite all the distractions on offer, and you’ll be pleased to know it’s not that difficult to achieve, although it does require some determination. If you want your child to read for pleasure you have to limit screen time, both to make space and time for reading and to help your child to focus and concentrate on enjoying a good story.

If there are no rules in place to control the amount of screen time, reading for pleasure will definitely suffer because children won’t have the interest, time, patience or attention span to read a book.

I sometimes think the principles of helping your child read for pleasure are like raising a healthy eater – we realise if we want a healthy-eating child we have to supply the good stuff, encourage them to try new things, offer a range of foods and restrict the bad stuff. We don’t let them eat chocolate until they are sick, or drink Coke until they are ill, but we do let them have sweets from time to time. Raising a reader and managing screen time is the same.

Finding a balance

The really important point is that it’s not about denying children screen time but it is about being clear on what is allowed. It’s about finding a balance. Your child needs to know screen time is a treat or a privilege, but not their right to use as they wish. Children don’t know what is best for them, and left without rules they won’t turn off the TV, Xbox or Wii because, as I said before, they do not self-regulate. Screen time will take over if children are free to choose.

I think my nephew thinks all mobile phones are his by rights! As soon as I go through the front door he says ‘Can I have your phone?’ before he even says hello to me. Apparently he says this to all the adults he meets. I know his mum has regular dramas of having to physically wrestle with him to get her phone back. He’s only 3!

Angela, aunt to Lukas

It’s certainly made harder to find balance by the sheer number of devices a child typically has access to. I talked to a dad who likened restricting screen time for his children to holding back a tsunami. He told me that at home they have Sky TV, a PC, a laptop, mobiles, a Nintendo DS, a Wii and an Xbox, and the children are constantly badgering for time on screen, be it playing games or using social media to talk to friends. And technology is developing so fast. If you have a young baby now as well as an older child, you will be aware of the huge difference in the digital entertainment available to your baby. One mum I talked to told me she could see a massive increase between her 15 month old’s gadgets and pre-school apps and what her 8 year old had access to at that age.

Having rules

So, how do you strike that balance? The most obvious and best place to start is by establishing some basic rules. Marking out boundaries is a positive thing for children – they know what is expected of them and it makes them feel secure. They also know that when they have kept to the rules they have done well. But so many families I meet feel they can’t, or don’t want to, say no to their children about screen time. I think they confuse having rules about it with punishment. When you restrict screen time you are not punishing your child, you are creating space and time to do other things. Rules about screen time teach self-control and discipline.

Our children all read a lot. My wife has a real gift for finding interesting books and we are very strict with computers and mobile phones. If they had no restrictions they would probably stop reading immediately!

Dad to Claire, age 15, Eva, age 13 and Luke, age 7

You need also to establish consequences if the rules are broken: if you have set a limit of one hour for gaming and your child won’t stop at the end of it, you can cut the amount of time when he next uses the machine or even take away the privilege. You are in charge. That is the only time when taking away screen time is a punishment; the rules themselves aren’t.

Ideas and suggestions for rules

I can’t tell you exactly what rules to establish because they have to be workable for you and your family. But I can share effective ideas that I have come across in my conversations with numerous families.

Reading will most definitely suffer if there are screens in the bedroom. Research among 4,000 pupils in England found children with TVs in their bedrooms and children who own their own mobile phones suffered significant falls in reading achievement. So, do not have screens in the bedroom: no TV, no computer, no DVD player and no consoles. As your children get older and get mobile phones, make sure they are removed from their rooms at bedtime. If your child needs a computer for homework and works in their own room, consider getting a laptop, so that it can be put somewhere else at bedtime.

EXPERT VIEW

Increasing screen time is about access and consumption. Think about it, if you put a fridge in your child’s bedroom they’re likely to eat more. And if you told them one compartment had broccoli and sprouts, and the other had Ben & Jerry’s, your child is likely to eat more and it won’t be those healthy vegetables on offer.

Dr Aric Sigman

Limit school-day screen time. I met a family who have a rule that says no recreational screen time at all from Monday to Thursday – although of course if the children need to do homework on the computer that is allowed. Their children accept this. I have also met a family who allow their 12 year old 45 minutes in the evening, but only after their homework is done.

At weekends you might want to give a longer time for screens – maybe even up to 2–3 hours at a stretch as a maximum for teenagers. At younger ages you should probably reduce this amount of time but, again, adapt this to your child. Watch how they behave and feel after an extended period of play and change the time if necessary.

Turn off screens (including TV) at least 30 minutes before bedtime to give your child a chance to wind down and to give them a decent amount of time to read.

When you are dealing with very young children who don’t understand the concept of time, using an alarm or timer of some sort can be very useful. You could say they are allowed 30 minutes and when the alarm goes off, time is up. I used this strategy very successfully with my son when he was younger and he would simply turn off the laptop when the bell rang, no questions asked.

For older children who better understand time, it’s very useful to give a 5– or 10–minute warning that time is nearly up.

Make sure that your child asks if they can use the computer or games console before they turn it on. This reinforces that it is a privilege and not a right. You can answer ‘yes’, or ‘no’, ‘later’, ‘yes, for 30 minutes’, or ‘yes, if you’ve done your homework’ – whatever matches the rules you’ve laid down or agreed.

Even if you have no problems restricting screen time with your child at the moment and an informal, ad hoc arrangement seems to work just fine, or if they are young and perhaps not especially keen on digital entertainment as yet, I urge you to think ahead. Imagine your child is young, say four, and from time to time she wants to play on your iPhone. You let her do that and when you say that’s enough she complies. There is no problem. Before long she won’t comply, however, as she finds her voice and more firmly forms her likes and dislikes. Children grow up. So just make sure when you say ‘Yes, you can play on the iPhone’, you give a time limit too. For instance: ‘You can play on the iPhone for ten minutes, then we’ll get the crayons out, or we’ll read a book.’

If you establish house rules about screen time now, you will be well set as and when demands for more screen time come your way, which inevitably they will. Do this and your child will grow up accepting there is no unfettered access to screens.

Establishing rules for older children

If your child is older – say age eight upwards – and you are intending to introduce screen time rules, be prepared for the fact that your child may not take it well. How cross they get will in part depend on their age and how long they have been accustomed to doing what you want to restrict. I can only say stick to your guns! Older children may be more difficult to manage but that’s normal because they are learning about life, that things don’t always go their way, and they do have to learn that when you say no, you mean it.

If your child complains that everyone else in their class can play all evening or that their best friend can spend as much time as they like, your reply must be something along the lines of ‘Every family has rules and these are our rules.’ I remember being with a family who had no set rules about screen time and it backfired on them. Their daughter was happily playing on her DS and her mum said, apparently out of the blue, ‘Turn it off, you’ve had enough now.’ Of course, the girl made a huge fuss and there was a family row because she saw it as her mum ruining her fun. Because there was no warning before the time was up, the girl didn’t feel in control. An easier way for all involved would have been to tell her up front that she had a certain amount of time and give her a five–minute warning before the time was up.

Remember that children ultimately like boundaries; they like to know they have been good, and you make it easy for them to be good and be praised by having rules to stick to. To be honest, you will find it a whole lot easier if you set up screen time rules from a young age when children are less rebellious and more accepting. You can then adapt them as your child grows and you will be in a much better position to keep them enforced when they reach their teens and seem to want to immerse themselves in digital entertainment and not much else. If your children are more mature and you think you can reason with them effectively, why not sit down and agree the time limits with them?

Digital reading

When I talk about reading throughout this book I am usually not making a distinction between physical books and digital books. After all, the content is the same, it’s just the delivery method that is different. The same sustained concentration is required to read an extended piece of writing, whether on paper or screen.

Although adult e-reading is gaining ground, up to now children’s e-reading has been slower to get going. It will no doubt speed up as more devices become available. However, you might find your child is keen to read on a digital device. If so, that’s great, especially if they are older. I would caution against using digital books at a young age. Let your child enjoy the feel of physical books, the pleasure of being able to hold them, flick through them and carry them around. This is all part and parcel of the reading experience.

Also, keeping the physical book as a reminder of shared reading as your child gets older is a contributory factor to the relationship glue I talk about elsewhere in the book. I remember so clearly some of the books my mum and I read together when I was growing up, some of which were kept and I was able to read to my son. I’m especially fond of a dog-eared copy of The House at Pooh Corner. And my brother gave my son, on loan, his treasured childhood copy of Wilf Weasel’s Speedy Skates, which was treated with great reverence by Louis. That physical continuity is not something you get with e-books. So I think it would be a shame to miss out on the physical presence of books in the early years, quite apart from any developmental harm screen time might cause.

Screen time is a very modern problem. Finding the balance between recognising the utility of computers and the potential developmental impairment that overuse can cause is one of the most common issues in family life nowadays. Health education specialists like Dr Aric Sigman, as well as the Department of Health, are raising awareness among parents of the need to consider discretionary and recreational screen time as yet another form of consumption – similar to sweets or crisps, or hours in direct sunshine – that is measured in minutes or hours per day, and which needs to be thought about and limited. There is no way around it; you do need to get involved to help your child find that balance.

Here’s an example of how you go about finding the balance. One mum told me her son, Alfie, is an avid gamer. He is seven years old and into playing the same games on the Wii and on the iPad as much as his friends are. But he is also a very keen reader. She said ‘Alfie reads to relax. He reads in bed every day – we have a routine. He is not allowed to have any gaming kit or phone or TV in his room.’

It can be done!

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