Praise for Melanie Milburne who also writes for Mills & Boon® Modern™ Romance:

‘Expertly blending powerful emotions with red-hot sensuality, poignant romance and nail-biting drama, HIS POOR LITTLE GIRL is an exceptional tale of lost love, courage and redemption from one of the most accomplished writers of Mills and Boon® Modern™ Romance!’ —Cataromance

Praise for Scarlet Wilson’s debut in Mills & Boon® Modern™ Romance:

‘Stirring, emotional and wonderfully absorbing, IT STARTED WITH A PREGNANCY is an impressive debut novel from a fabulous new voice in category romance: Scarlet Wilson!’

—Cataromance

These books are also available in eBook format from www.millsandboon.co.uk

Welcome to the world of Sydney Harbour Hospital (or SHH … for short— because secrets never stay hidden for long!)

Looking out over cosmopolitan Sydney Harbour, Australia’s premier teaching hospital is a hive of round-the-clock activity—with a very active hospital grapevine.

With the most renowned (and gorgeous!) doctors in Sydney working side by side, professional and sensual tensions run sky-high—there’s always plenty of romantic rumours to gossip about …

Who’s been kissing who in the on-call room? What’s going on between legendary heart surgeon Finn Kennedy and tough-talking A&E doctor Evie Lockheart? And what’s wrong with Finn?

Find out in this enthralling new eight-book continuity from Mills & Boon® Medical™ Romance—indulge yourself with eight helpings of romance, emotion and gripping medical drama!

Sydney Harbour Hospital From saving lives to sizzling seduction, these doctors are the very best!

Sydney Harbour
Hospital:
Lexi’s Secret
Melanie Milburne

www.millsandboon.co.uk

MILLS & BOON

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To Ricki Peres for her friendship and support, and also for her help in

the research for this novel in the field of transplant surgery.

Thank you!

Sydney Harbour Hospital

Sexy surgeons, dedicated doctors, scandalous secrets, on-call dramas …

Welcome to the world of Sydney Harbour Hospital (or SHH … for short—because secrets never stay hidden for long!)

In February new nurse Lily got caught up

in the hotbed of hospital gossip in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: LILY’S SCANDAL by Marion Lennox

And gorgeous paediatrician Teo came to single mum Zoe’s rescue in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: ZOE’S BABY by Alison Roberts

In March sexy Sicilian playboy Luca finally met his match in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: LUCA’S BAD GIRL by Amy Andrews

Then in April Hayley opened Tom’s eyes to love in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: TOM’S REDEMPTION by Fiona Lowe

This month join heiress Lexi as she learns to

put the past behind her in May …

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: LEXI’S SECRET by Melanie Milburne

In June adventurer Charlie helps shy Bella fulfil her dreams—

and find love on the way!—in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: BELLA’S WISHLIST by Emily Forbes

Single mum Emily gives no-strings-attached surgeon Marco

a reason to stay in July:

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: MARCO’S TEMPTATION by Fiona McArthur

And finally join us in August as Ava and James

realise their marriage really is worth saving in

SYDNEY HARBOUR HOSPITAL: AVA’S RE-AWAKENING by Carol Marinelli

And not forgetting Sydney Harbour Hospital’s legendary heart surgeon Finn Kennedy. This brooding maverick keeps his women on hospital rotation … But can new doc Evie Lockheart unlock the secrets to his guarded heart? Find out in this enthralling new eight-book continuity from Mills & Boon® Medical™ Romance.

A collection impossible to resist!

These books are also available in eBook format from www.millsandboon.co.uk

CHAPTER ONE

IT WAS the worst possible way to run into an ex, Lexi thought. There was only one parking space left in the Sydney Harbour Hospital basement car park and although, strictly speaking, she shouldn’t have been parking there since she wasn’t a doctor or even a nurse, she was running late with some things for her sister, and it was just too tempting not to grab the last ‘Doctors Only’ space between a luxury sedan and a shiny red sports car that looked as if it had just been driven out of the showroom.

She opened her door and winced when she heard the bang-scrape of metal against metal.

And then she saw him.

He was sitting in the driver’s seat, his broad-spanned hands gripping the steering-wheel with white-knuckled force, glaring at her furiously when recognition suddenly hit him. Lexi saw the quick spasm of his features, as if the sight of her had been like a punch to the face.

She felt the same punch deep and low in her belly as she encountered that dark brown espresso coffee gaze. Her throat closed over as if a large hand had gripped her and was squeezing the breath right out of her. Her heart pounded with a sickening thud, skip, thud, skip, thud that made her feel as if she had just run up the fire escape of a towering skyscraper on a single breath.

It was so unexpected.

No warning.

No preparation.

Why hadn’t she been told he was back in the country? Why hadn’t she been told he was working here? He clearly was, otherwise why would he be parking in the doctors’ car park unless—like her—he had flouted the rules for his own convenience?

OK, so this was the time to play it cool. She could do that. It was her specialty. She was known all over the Sydney social circuit for her PhD in charm.

She shimmied out of the tight space between their cars and sent him a megawatt smile. ‘Hi, Sam,’ she said breezily. ‘How are things?’

Sam Bailey unfolded his tall length from the sports car, closing the driver’s door with a resounding click that more or less summed up his personality, Lexi thought—decisive, to the point, focussed on the task at hand.

‘Alexis,’ he said. No “How are you?” or “Nice to see you” or even “Hello”, just her full name, which nobody ever called her, not even her father in one of his raging rants or her mother in one of her gin-soaked ramblings.

Lexi’s winning smile faded slightly and her hands fidgeted with the strap of her designer bag hanging over her shoulder as she stood before him. ‘So, what brings you here?’ she said. ‘A patient perhaps?’

‘You could say that,’ he said coolly. ‘How about you?’

‘Oh, I hang out here a lot,’ she said, shifting her weight from one high heel to the other. ‘My sister Bella’s in and out for treatment all the time. She’s been in for the last couple of weeks. Another chest infection. She’s on the transplant list but we have to wait until it clears. The chest infection, I mean.’ Lexi knew she was rambling but what else could she do? Five years ago she had thought they’d had a future together. Their connection had been sudden but intense. She had dreamed of sharing her life with him and yet without notice Sam had cut her out of his life coldly and ruthlessly, not even pausing long enough to say goodbye. Seeing him again with no notice, no time to prepare herself, had stirred up deeply buried emotions so far beneath the surface she had almost forgotten they were there.

Almost …

‘Sorry to hear that,’ Sam said making a point of glancing at his silver watch.

Lexi felt a sinkhole of sadness open up inside her. He couldn’t have made it clearer he wanted nothing to do with her. How could he be so … so distant after the intense intimacy they had shared? Had their affair meant nothing to him? Nothing at all? Surely she was worth a few minutes of his precious time in spite of the different paths their lives had taken? ‘I didn’t know you were back from wherever you went,’ she said. ‘I heard you got a scholarship to study overseas. Where did you go?’

‘America,’ he said flatly.

She raised her eyebrows, determined to counter his taciturn manner with garrulous charm. ‘Wow, that’s impressive,’ she said. ‘The States is so cool. So much to see. So much to do. You must’ve been the envy of all the other trainees, getting that chance to train abroad.’

‘Yes.’ Another frowning glance at his watch.

Lexi’s gaze went to the strongly boned, deeply tanned wrist he had briefly exposed from the crisp, light blue business shirt he was wearing. Her stomach shifted like a pair of crutches slipping on a sheet of cracked ice. Those wrists had once held her much smaller ones in a passionate exchange that had left her body tingling for hours afterwards. Every moment of their blistering two-week affair was imprinted on her flesh. Seeing him again awakened every sleeping cell of her body to zinging, pulsing life. It felt like her blood had been thawed from a five-year deep freeze. It was racing through the network of her veins like a flash flood, making her heart hammer with the effort.

Her gaze slipped to his mouth, that beautiful sculpted mouth that had moved against hers with such heart-stopping skill. She still remembered the taste of him: minty and fresh and something essentially, potently male. She still remembered the feel of his tongue stroking against hers, the sexy rasp of it as it cajoled hers into a sizzling hot tango. He had explored every inch of her mouth with masterful expertise, leaving no corner without the branding heat of his possession.

And yet he had still walked away without so much as a word.

Lexi lifted her gaze back to his. Encountering those unfathomable brown depths made her chest feel like a frightened bird was trapped inside the cage of her lungs. Did he have any idea of the hurt he had caused? Did he have any idea of what she had gone through because of him?

She swallowed in anguish as she thought of the heart-wrenching decision she had made. Would she ever be able to summon up the courage to tell him? But, then, what would be the point? How could he possibly understand how hard it had been for her back then, young and pregnant with no one to turn to? She hadn’t felt ready to become a mother. A termination had seemed the right thing to do and yet …

‘I have to get going,’ Sam said, nodding towards the hospital building. ‘The CEO is expecting me.’

Lexi stared at him as realisation slowly dawned. ‘You’re going to be working here?’ she asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Here at SHH?’

‘Yes.’

‘Not in the private sector?’ she asked.

‘No.’

‘Do you ever answer a question with more than one word?’

‘Occasionally.’

Lexi gave him a droll look but inside she was screaming: This can’t be happening! ‘Why wasn’t I told?’ she asked.

‘No idea.’

‘Wow, that’s two.’

‘Two what?’ he said, frowning.

‘Words,’ she said. ‘Maybe we can work on that a little. Boost your repertoire a bit. What are you doing here?’

‘Working.’

She mentally rolled her eyes. ‘I mean why here? Why not in the private system where you can earn loads and loads of money?’ Why not some other place where I won’t see you just about every day and be reminded of what a silly little fool I was?

‘I was asked.’

‘Wow, three words,’ Lexi said, purposely animating her expression. ‘We’re really doing great here. I bet I can get you to say a full sentence in a month or two.’

‘I have to go now,’ he said. ‘And, yes, that’s five words if you’re still counting.’

She lifted her chin. ‘I am.’

Sam looked into those bluer than blue eyes and felt as if he had just dived into the deepest, most refreshing ocean after walking through the driest, hottest desert for years. Her softly pouting mouth was one of those mouths that just begged to be kissed. He could recall the dewy soft contours under his own just by looking at her. He could even remember the feel of the sexy dart of her tongue as it played catch-me-if-you-can with his. Her platinum-blonde hair was in its usual disarray that somehow managed to look perfectly coiffed and just-out-of-bed-after-marathon-sex at the same time. He felt the rocket blast to his groin as he remembered having her in his bed, up against the wall, over his desk, on a picnic blanket under the stars …

Stop it, buddy, he remonstrated with himself.

She had been too young for him before, and in spite of the years a world of experience separated them now. She was still a spoilt, rich kid who thought partying was a full-time occupation. He was on a mission to save lives that were dependent on transplant surgery.

Other people had to die in order for him to give life to others. He was always aware of that. Someone lost their life and by doing so he was given the opportunity to save another. He didn’t take his responsibility lightly. He had worked long and hard for his career. It had defined his life. He had given up everything to get where he was now. He could not afford, at this crucial time in his journey, to be distracted by a party girl whose biggest decision in life was whether to have floating candles or helium balloons at a function.

He had to walk away, just as he had before, but at least this would be his choice, made of his own free will.

‘You dented my car.’ It was not the best line he could have come up with but he had just taken delivery of the damned vehicle. To him it just showed how irresponsible she was. She hadn’t even looked as she’d flung open her door. It was just so typical of her and her privileged background. She had no idea how hard people had to work to get things she took for granted. She had been driven around in luxury cars all of her life. She didn’t know what it felt like to be dirt poor with no funds available for extras, let alone the essentials.

Just take his mother, for instance. Stuck on a long transplant list and living way out in the bush to boot, his mother had died waiting for a kidney. His working-class parents hadn’t had the money to pay for private health cover. They hadn’t even had the money to afford another child after him. He knew what it felt like to want things that were so out of your reach it was like grasping at bubbles, hoping they wouldn’t burst when your fingers touched them. In his experience they always burst.

Lexi was another bubble that had burst.

‘You call that a dent?’ Lexi bent over to examine the mark on the door.

Sam couldn’t stop his gaze drinking in the gorgeous curve of her tiny bottom. She was all legs and arms, coltish, even though she was now twenty-four. It didn’t seem to matter what she wore, she always looked like she had just stepped off a catwalk. Her legs were encased in skin-tight black pants that followed the long lines of her legs down to her racehorse-delicate ankles. She was wearing ridiculously high heels but he still had a few inches on her. The hot-pink top she had on skimmed her small but perfectly shaped breasts and the ruby-and-diamond pendant she was wearing around her neck looked like it could have paid off his entire university tuition loan.

She smelled fabulous. He felt his nostrils flaring to breathe more of her fragrance in. Flowers, spring flowers with a grace note of sexy sandalwood, or was it patchouli?

She suddenly straightened and met his eyes. ‘It’s barely made a mark,’ she said. ‘But if you want to be so pedantic I’ll pay for it to be fixed.’

Sam elevated one of his brows mockingly. ‘Don’t you mean Daddy will pay for it?’ he asked.

She pursed her mouth at him and he had to stop himself from bending down and covering it with his own. ‘I’ll have you know I earn my own money,’ she said with a haughty look.

‘Doing what?’ he shot back. ‘Painting your nails?’

She narrowed her blue eyes and her full mouth flattened. ‘I’m Head of Events at SHH,’ she said. ‘I’m in charge of fundraising, including the gala masked ball to be held next month.’

Sam rocked back on his heels. ‘Impressive.’

She gave him a hot little glare. ‘My father gave me the job because I’m good at what I do.’

‘I’m sure you are,’ he said. After all, partying was her favourite hobby. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to get to.’

‘Is this your first day at SHH?’ Lexi asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Where are you living?’

‘I’m renting an apartment in Kirribilli,’ he said. ‘I want to have a look around before I buy.’

A small frown puckered her smooth brow. ‘So you’re back for good?’ she asked.

‘Yes,’ Sam said. ‘My father’s getting on and I want to spend some time with him.’

‘Is he still living in Broken Hill?’ she asked.

‘No,’ he said. ‘He’s retired to the Central Coast.’

Sam was surprised she remembered anything about his father. It didn’t sit well with his image of her as a shallow, spoilt little upstart who had only jumped into bed with him as an act of rebellion against her overbearing father.

That had really rankled.

Damn it, it still rankled.

Their red-hot affair had only lasted a couple of weeks before her father Richard Lockheart had stepped in and told him what would happen to his career if he didn’t stop messing with his baby girl. To top it all off, it turned out she was six years younger than she had told him. It had been a jolting shock to find the young woman he had been sleeping with had only left high school the year before. Nineteen years old and yet she had looked and acted as streetwise and poised as any twenty-five-year old.

Sam had told her things during that short affair he had told no one else. Things about his mother’s death, like how hard it had been to watch her die, feeling so helpless, his father’s endless grieving, his own dreams of making a difference so no one had to go through what his family had suffered. For once in his life his emotional guard had come down and it had backfired on him. Lexi had used him like she used her social standing to get what she wanted. He had almost lost everything because of her puerile, attention-seeking little game.

When it came down to it, it had been a choice between relocating or sitting back and watching his career implode. To a working-class trainee who had lived on Struggle Street for most of his life, Sam knew that the well-connected and powerful Richard Lockheart could have done some serious damage to his career. He hadn’t taken those threats lightly. He had been lucky enough to be able to switch to the US training programme, and while it had cost him a packet, it had been the best thing he’d ever done. He had worked with some of the world’s leading transplant surgeons and now he was considered one of the best heart-lung surgeons on the planet. Everyone back home had believed he had transferred on a scholarship and he hadn’t said anything to contradict the rumour. Interestingly, neither, it seemed, had Richard Lockheart.

The appointment to SHH had been timely because he had been keen to come home for a couple of years. He missed his homeland and his father. The man was the only family he had. It was time to come home and put the past behind him.

Lexi was a part of his past but she had no place in his future. He had been captivated by her beauty and her alluring sensuality. But her party-girl mentality had been at odds with his career-focussed determination back then—just as much as it was at odds with it now. He couldn’t afford to be distracted by her. Even though the eleven-year age gap was no longer such an issue he didn’t want anything or anyone—particularly not red-hot little Lexi Lockheart—derailing his career plans.

Lexi flicked a strand of hair away that had drifted across her face. ‘How will I contact you?’ she asked.

Sam’s brows snapped together. ‘About what?’

‘About your car,’ she said, with another little mocking quiver of her eyelids. ‘About the dent you need a magnifying glass to see.’

‘Forget about it,’ he said.

‘No, I insist,’ she said, taking out her mobile. ‘I’ll put you in my contacts.’ Her slim, beautifully manicured fingers poised over the data entry key.

And that’s when he saw it.

The diamond engagement ring on her finger seemed to be glinting at him like an evil eye, mocking him, taunting him.

Engaged.

He felt his throat seize up.

Lexi was engaged.

His mouth was suddenly so dry he couldn’t speak. His chest felt as if someone had backed over it with a steamroller. He couldn’t inflate his lungs enough to draw in a breath. His reaction surprised him. No, damn it, it shocked the hell out of him. She was nothing to him. What did it matter if she was engaged? It wasn’t as if he had any claim on her, certainly not an emotional one. He didn’t do emotion. He didn’t even like her, for goodness’ sake. She was an attention-seeking little tramp who thought bedding a boy from the bush was something to giggle about with her vacuous, equally shallow socialite girlfriends. Good luck to the man who was fool enough to tie himself to her.

Lexi looked up at him with an expectant expression. ‘Your number?’ she prompted.

Sam reluctantly rattled it off in a monotone he hardly recognised as his own voice. He had changed his number five years ago as a way of completely cutting all ties. He hadn’t wanted her calling him or texting him or emailing him. He didn’t want that soft sexy voice purring in his ear. It had taken years to get the sound of her voice out of his head.

Engaged.

Sam wondered what her fiancé was like. No, on second thought he didn’t want to know. He’d bet he was a preppy sort, probably hadn’t done a decent day’s work in his life.

Lexi was engaged. Engaged!

It was a two-sentence chant he couldn’t get out of his head. Cruel words he didn’t want to hear.

‘Do you want mine?’ she asked, tucking another wayward strand of platinum-blonde hair away from her face with her free hand. It had snagged on her shiny lip gloss. He guessed it was strawberry flavoured. He hadn’t eaten a strawberry in five years without thinking of the taste of her mouth.

He blinked. ‘Your … er what?’

‘My number,’ she said. ‘In case you want to contact me about the repairs?’

Sam swallowed the walnut-sized restriction in his throat. ‘Your car isn’t damaged.’

She looked at him for a moment before she closed her phone and popped it back in her bag. ‘No,’ she said. ‘It’s made of much tougher stuff, apparently.’

Sam’s gaze kept tracking to her ring. It was like a magnet he had no power to resist. He didn’t want to look at it. He didn’t want to think about her planning a future with some other nameless, faceless man.

He didn’t want to think about her in that nameless, faceless man’s bed, her arms around his neck and her lips on his.

‘You’re engaged.’

He hadn’t realised he had spoken the words out loud until she answered, ‘Yes.’

‘Congratulations,’ he said.

‘Thank you.’

Sam’s gaze tracked back to the ring. It was expensive. It suited her hand. It was a perfect fit. It looked like it had been there a while.

His chest cramped again, harder this time.

He brought his eyes back to hers, forcing his voice to sound just mildly interested. ‘So, when’s the wedding?’

‘November,’ she said, a flicker of something moving over her face like a shadow. ‘We’ve booked the cathedral for the tenth.’

The silence crawled from the dark corners of the basement, slowly but surely surrounding them.

Sam heard the scrape of one of her heels as she took a step backwards. ‘Well, I’d better let you get to work,’ she said. ‘Wouldn’t be good to be late for your first day on the job.’

‘No,’ he said. ‘That might not go down so well.’

The silence crept up to his knees again before he added, ‘It was nice to see you again, Alexis.’

She gave a tight smile by way of answer and walked off towards the lift, the sound of her heels click-clacking on the concrete floor striking totally unexpected and equally inexplicable hammer blows of regret in Sam’s heart.

CHAPTER TWO

LEXI got out on the medical ward floor with her heart still racing. She had to control her spiralling emotions, but how? How was she supposed to act as if nothing was wrong?

Sam was back.

The shock was still reverberating through her like a dinner gong struck too hard. Her head was aching from the tattoo beating inside her brain.

Sam was back.

She drew in a calming breath. She would have to act as if nothing was wrong. It wouldn’t do to reveal to everyone how shocked she was by his appointment. Had no one told her because they were worried how she would react or because they thought she wouldn’t even remember him? And how could she ask without drawing attention to feelings she didn’t want—shouldn’t want—to examine?

‘Hi, Lexi,’ one of the nurses called out to her. ‘I just bought my tickets for the ball. I can’t wait. You should see the mask I bought online. It’s fabulous.’

Lexi’s face felt like she was cracking half-dry paint when she smiled. ‘Great!’

The ball was the thing she was supposed to be focussed on, not Sam Bailey. It was the event of the year and she was solely responsible for it. It was no secret that some people at SHH were sceptical over whether she would be up to the task. Rumours of nepotism abounded, which made her all the more determined to prove everyone wrong. The proceeds she raised would go to the transplant unit for the purchase of a new state-of-the-art heart-lung bypass machine. Government funding was never enough. It took the hard work of her and her fundraising team to bring to the unit those extras that made all the difference for a patient’s outcome.

And her older sister Bella was one of those patients.

Lexi pushed open the door of Bella’s room, a bright smile already fixed in place. ‘Hi, Bells.’

‘Oh, hi, Lexi …’ Bella said, her voice sagging over the weight of the words.

Lexi could always tell when Bella had just finished a session with the hospital physiotherapist. She looked even more gaunt and pale than usual. Her sister’s thin, frail body lying so listlessly on the bed reminded her of a skeleton shrink-wrapped in skin. She had always found it hard to look at her older sister without feeling horribly guilty. Guilty that she was so robustly healthy, so outgoing and confident … well, on the surface anyway.

She knew it was hard for Bella to relate to her. It put a strain on their relationship that Lexi dearly wished wasn’t there but she didn’t know how to fix it. Everything Bella did was a struggle, but for Lexi no matter what activity she tried she seemed to have a natural flair for it. She had spent much of her childhood downplaying her talents in case Bella had felt left out. She’d ended the ballet lessons she’d adored because she’d sensed Bella’s frustration that she could barely walk, let alone dance. Her piano lessons had gone the same way. As soon as it had become obvious Bella hadn’t been able to keep up, Lexi had ended them. It had been easier to quit and pretend disinterest than to keep going and feel guilty all the time.

But it wasn’t just guilt Lexi felt when she was around Bella. It was dread. Gut-wrenching, sickening dread that one day Bella was not going to be around any more.

The Lockheart family had lived with that fear for twenty-six years. It was as if the looming shadow of the Grim Reaper had stepped uninvited into their family, and for years had been waiting on the fringes, popping his head in now and again when Bella had a bad attack to remind them all not to take too much for granted, patiently waiting for his chance to step up to centre stage for the final act.

Everyone knew Bella would not reach thirty without a lung transplant. The trouble was getting her healthy and stable enough to be ready for one if a donor became available.

And then there was the waiting list with all those desperately sick people hoping for the same thing: a suitable donor. It was like a weird sort of live-or-die lottery. Even being a recipient of a healthy lung meant that some poor family somewhere else would be mourning the loss of the person they loved.

Life was incredibly cruel, Lexi thought as she put on her happy face for Bella. ‘I’ve brought you a surprise.’

Bella’s sad grey eyes brightened momentarily. ‘Is it that new romantic comedy everyone is talking about?’ she asked.

Lexi glanced at the portable DVD player her sister had on her tray table. Bella was addicted to movies, soppy ones mostly. The shelves the other side of the resuscitation gear held dozens of DVDs she had watched numerous times. ‘No, it’s not out until next month,’ Lexi said. She put the designer shopping bag she’d brought on the bed beside her sister’s frail form. ‘Go on,’ she urged. ‘Open it.’

Bella opened the bag and carefully took out the tissue-wrapped package inside. Her thin fingers meticulously peeled back the designer-shop logo sticker keeping the edges together. Lexi was almost jumping up and down with impatience. If it had been her receiving a package the tissue paper would have been on the floor by now in her haste to see what was inside. But Bella took her time, which was sadly ironic really, Lexi thought, when time was one thing she had so little of.

‘What do you think?’ she asked as Bella had finally unwrapped the sexy red lacy negligee and wrap set.

Bella’s cheeks were about as red as the lacy garments. ‘Thanks, Lexi, it was very kind of you but …’

‘You need to break out a little, Bells,’ Lexi said. ‘You’re always wearing those granny flannel pyjamas. Passion-killers, that’s what they’re called. Why not live a little? Who’s going to notice in here if you wear something a little more feminine?’

Bella’s cheeks were still furnace hot. ‘I’m not comfortable in your type of clothes, Lexi. You look stunning in them. You look stunning in anything. You’d turn heads wearing a garbage bag. I’ll just look stupid.’

‘You don’t give yourself a chance to look stunning,’ Lexi said. ‘You hide behind layers of old-fashioned drab clothing like you don’t want to be noticed.’

‘Don’t you think I get enough attention as it is?’ Bella asked with a flash of her grey eyes. ‘I have people poking and prodding me all the time. It’s all right for you. You don’t have to lie in here and watch the clock go round while another day of your life passes you by. You’re out having a life.’

There was a little tense silence, all except for the squeak of a nurse’s rubber-soled shoes in the corridor outside as she walked briskly past.

Lexi felt her shoulders drop. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I just thought something bright would cheer you up.’ She began to collect the lacy items from Bella’s lap.

Bella put her hand out to stop her taking away the negligee set. ‘No, leave it,’ she said on a heavy sigh. ‘It was sweet of you. I’ll keep it for when I’m better.’

The unspoken words if I get better hung in the air for a moment.

Lexi summoned up a smile. ‘Actually, I only bought it because there was a two-for-one sale. You should see the little number I bought myself.’

‘What colour is it?’

‘Black with hot pink ribbons.’

‘Are you saving it for your wedding night?’ Bella asked.

Lexi averted her gaze. ‘I’m not sure … maybe …’

‘Have you heard from Matthew?’

‘I got an email a couple of days ago,’ Lexi said. ‘It’s hard for messages to get through. His team are building a school in a remote village in Nigeria.’

‘I think he’s amazing to be volunteering over there,’ Bella said. ‘He could have just as easily stayed at home in the family business.’

‘He’ll come back to the Brentwood business once he’s done his bit for humanity,’ Lexi said.

‘It’s nice that you’re both are so passionate about helping others,’ Bella said.

‘Yes …’ Lexi dropped her gaze again. ‘Oh, and before I forget …’ She rummaged in another bag and took out the latest editions of the fashion magazines Bella loved and spread them like a fan on the tray table. ‘You should check out page sixty-three in that one. There’s a dress design just like the one you drew last week, only yours is better, in my opinion.’

‘Thanks, Lexi,’ Bella said with a shy smile.

There was the sound of a firm authoritative tread coming down the corridor.

‘I bet that’s your doctor,’ Lexi said, rising from the end of the bed where she had perched. ‘I’d better vamoose.’

‘No, don’t go,’ Bella said, grabbing at Lexi’s hand. ‘That will be the transplant surgeon. You know how much I hate meeting people for the first time. Stay with me? Please?’

There was a cursory knock at the door and then a nurse came in, followed by a tall figure with shoulders so broad they almost filled the doorway.

Lexi felt her stomach hollow out and her heart did that hit-and-miss thing all over again. Could this really be happening to her? What twist of fate had led Sam to be her sister’s surgeon? She’d thought he’d planned to be a renal transplant surgeon. She hadn’t for a moment suspected he would be Bella’s doctor. It would be even harder to avoid him now. There would be ward rounds and consultations in his rooms, follow-ups if the surgery went ahead. Lexi was the one who mostly ferried Bella around. How was she going to deal with being confronted with the pain of her past on such a regular basis?

‘Bella,’ the nurse said cheerily. ‘This is Mr Sam Bailey, the heart-lung transplant surgeon newly arrived from the US. We’re very lucky to have someone of his calibre working for us. And lucky you, for you are his very first patient at SHH. Mr Bailey, this is Bella Lockheart.’

Sam held out his hand to Bella. ‘Hello, Bella,’ he said. ‘How are you feeling?’

Bella blushed like a schoolgirl and her voice was nothing more than a soft mumble. ‘I’m fine, thank you.’

‘And this is Lexi Lockheart,’ the nurse continued with a beaming smile as she turned to where Lexi was standing. ‘You’ll see a lot of her around the place. She’s a tireless fundraiser for SHH. If you have spare cash lying around, watch out. She’ll be on to you in a flash.’

Lexi cautiously met Sam’s gaze. How was he going to play this? As strangers meeting for the first time? Surely he wouldn’t acknowledge their previous relationship, not in a place like SHH where gossip ran as fast as the wireless broadband network, sometimes faster. His professional reputation could be compromised if people started to speculate about what had happened between them in the past.

He put out his large, capable hand, the same hand that had once cupped her cheek as he’d leant in to kiss her for the first time, the same hand that had skimmed over and held each of her breasts, the same hand that had stroked down to that secret place between her thighs and coaxed her into her first earth-shattering orgasm. Lexi slowly brought her hand to his, trying to ignore the way his warm palm sent electric zaps all the way to her armpit and back.

‘How do you do?’ he said in his deep baritone voice.

So it was strangers, then. ‘Pleased to meet you, Mr Bailey,’ she said, keeping her expression coolly polite. ‘I hope you settle in well at SHH.’

‘I’m settling in very well, thank you,’ he said, his eyes communicating with hers in a private lock that made her flesh tingle from head to foot.

She slipped her hand out of his and stepped back so he could speak to Bella. Her hand fizzed and tingled and she shoved it behind her back as she watched as he interacted with her sister with a reassuring mix of compassion and professionalism.

‘I’ve been going over your history in a lot of detail, Bella,’ he said, ‘especially your lung function over the last couple of years. I guess I don’t have to tell you that there’s been significant deterioration.’

Bella’s grey gaze looked shadowed with worry. ‘Yes, I’ve been admitted to hospital more often with chest infections and it takes longer and longer to clear things up. I’ve only just started to improve and I’ve been in here almost three weeks.’

Sam gave an understanding nod. ‘I’ve looked at your latest CT scans and lung function studies. The lungs are very scarred. That’s making them stiff, so it’s no wonder you’re struggling to breathe when you exert yourself or when you get even a minor infection.’

Bella bit her lip and dropped her gaze to the magazines on her tray table. It was a moment before she looked up at Sam. ‘Am I getting to … to the end? How much time do I have left?’

Sam gave her thin shoulder a gentle squeeze. ‘We’re getting to the stage of needing to do a lung transplant within the next couple of months. I’ve started the active search for a matching transplant donor. If we find one we need to move straight away before you get another bout of pneumonia. We could find a donor in a day, a week or a couple of months. I’m afraid that longer than that and the chances get worse of keeping you well enough to survive the surgery.’

Lexi listened with dread, feeling like a ship’s anchor had landed on the floor of her stomach. It was such a massive operation. What if it didn’t work? What if poor Bella died on the operating table or soon after? So much of it seemed up to chance: the right donor; whether Bella was well enough at the time to be the recipient; whether she would survive the long operation. So many factors were at play and no one, it seemed, had any control over any of it, least of all Bella.

Bella must have been thinking the very same thing as she said, ‘What are my chances of coming through the operation?’

Sam was nothing if not professional and knowledgeable and encouraging in his manner. ‘With modern anti-rejection therapy there’s better than an eighty-five per cent chance that you’ll survive the surgery and live a good-quality life for the next ten years. After that there’s not much data, but expectations are that anti-rejection management will continue to improve and that you could end up living a fairly normal life.’

‘You’re in good hands, Bella,’ the nurse said. ‘Mr Bailey is considered one of the world’s leading heart-lung transplant surgeons.’

Sam acknowledged the nurse’s comment with a quick on-off smile as if he was uncomfortable with praise. Perhaps he was worried about operating on someone to whom he had a connection, Lexi thought. Not that he had ever met Bella before, but he had been intimately involved with Lexi. Clinical distance was paramount in life-and-death surgery. A surgeon could not afford to let the pressure of a relationship, no matter how distant or close, interfere with his clinical judgement. She hoped her involvement with him in the past wasn’t going to complicate things for Bella.

‘I’ll keep you informed on things as we go along, Bella,’ Sam said. ‘You’ll stay in the medical ward until your health improves. If a donor becomes available and you’re healthy enough, we’ll move you across to the transplant unit. Otherwise we’ll send you home until something comes up.’

‘Thanks for everything, Mr Bailey,’ Bella said blushing again. ‘I really appreciate you taking me on.’

Sam smiled and gave Bella’s shoulder another gentle touch. ‘Hang in there, Bella. We’ll do all we can to get you through this. Just try and keep positive.’

He gave Lexi a brief impersonal nod as he left with the nurse to continue his rounds.

Lexi didn’t even realise she was holding her breath until Bella looked at her quizzically. ‘It’s not like you to be so quiet when there’s a handsome man in the room,’ she said.

Lexi felt her face heating and tried to counter it with an uppity toss of her head. ‘He’s not that handsome.’

Bella raised her brows. ‘You don’t think? I thought you had a thing for tall muscular men with dark brown eyes.’

Lexi gave a dismissive shrug. ‘His hair is too short.’

‘Maybe he keeps it short for convenience,’ Bella said. ‘He’s in Theatre a lot. Any longer and it would get sweaty under the scrub hat during long transplant operations.’

Lexi made a business of folding each sheet of the tissue paper into a neat square, lining them up side by side on the bed.

‘He’s got nice eyes, don’t you think?’ Bella said.

‘I didn’t notice.’

‘Liar, sure you did,’ Bella said. ‘I saw you blush. I’ve never seen you blush before. That’s my specialty, not yours.’

‘It’s hot in here,’ Lexi said, fanning her face for emphasis. ‘How do you stand it?’

‘Did you notice his hands?’ Bella asked.

‘Not really …’ Lexi remembered how those hands had felt on her body. How they had lit fires under her flesh until she had been burning with a need so strong it had totally consumed her. Those hands had wreaked havoc on her senses from the first moment he had touched her. She opened and closed the hand he had taken in his just minutes ago. The tingling pins and needles feeling was still there …

‘He wasn’t wearing a wedding ring,’ Bella said.

‘Doesn’t mean he’s not involved with someone,’ Lexi said, feeling a tight ache in her chest as she pictured his partner. Would she be blonde, like her, or brunette? Or maybe a redhead like Bella. Would she be a doctor or nurse? Or a teacher perhaps? A lawyer? ‘Dad’s got a new girlfriend,’ she said, to change the subject.

‘Yes, Evie told me.’

‘I haven’t met her yet.’

‘I don’t know why he bothers introducing them,’ Bella said with an air of resentment. ‘None of them stay around long enough for us to get to know them.’

‘Dad’s entitled to have a life,’ Lexi said. ‘It’s not like Mum’s ever going to come back and play happy families.’

‘You always defend him,’ Bella said irritably. ‘You never let anyone say a bad word about him.’

‘Look,’ Lexi said, hoping to avoid the well-worn bone of contention between them. ‘I know he’s not perfect but he’s the only father we have. The only parent when it comes down to it. Mum’s not much use.’

‘Maybe Mum couldn’t handle Dad’s philandering,’ Bella said. ‘Maybe it wasn’t just because I was sick. Maybe she was left on her own too much and couldn’t cope. Maybe she wouldn’t have left if he had offered her more emotional support.’

Lexi knew Bella felt terribly guilty about the breakdown of their parents’ marriage. Her illness had taken its toll on everyone, but their mother had been the first to abandon ship, taking the contents of the drinks cabinet with her. Miranda Lockheart flitted in and out of their lives, not staying long enough to offer any stability or support but just long enough to remind them of what they had missed out on.

But blaming their father was not something Lexi had ever felt comfortable doing. He had always been there for her. He was her stronghold, the person she looked up to, the person she craved approval from more than any other.

‘Dad has always tried to do his best,’ she said. ‘He was meant to be a father, not a mother. He couldn’t do both.’

Bella gave a weary sigh. ‘One day you’re going to find out that Dad has clay feet. I just hope I’m around to see it.’

Lexi shrugged and then tried another subject change. ‘Have you had any other visitors?’

‘Phone calls or texts mostly,’ Bella said with a despondent look on her face. ‘People get sick of visiting after the first week. It happens every time. Maybe it’ll be different once I’ve had the transplant …’

Guilt struck at Lexi like a closed fist. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t get in yesterday,’ she said. ‘Matthew’s mother wanted me to look at wedding-cake designs. Her sister has already made the cake. Now we just have to decide on the decoration. Matthew wants something traditional but I was thinking we could so something more along the lines of …’

Bella was frowning as she looked into space. It was as if she hadn’t heard a word of what Lexi had been saying. ‘Sam …’ she said. ‘Sam. It’s really been bugging me. Why does that name sound so familiar?’

Lexi felt her stomach drop again. ‘Sam’s a popular name.’

‘I know but it’s more than that,’ Bella said, frowning in concentration. ‘Bailey. Sam Bailey. Bailey. Sam Bailey.’

Lexi closed her eyes. Please, no.

‘Oh. My. God.’

Lexi winced as she opened her eyes to see Bella’s saucer-like ones staring at her. ‘Wh-what?’ she choked.

‘It’s him, isn’t it?’ Bella asked. ‘It’s the same Sam Bailey. The Sam Bailey you had that naughty little teenage fling with that made Dad almost blow a fuse. Oh. My. God.’

‘Will you please keep your voice down?’ Lexi hissed.

‘It’s not like you’ll be able to keep it a secret,’ Bella said. ‘Not for long and certainly not around here. People have long memories and they just love a bit of juicy gossip. You’d better let Matthew know. You don’t want him getting into a flap about an ex-lover turning up out of the blue.’

Lexi turned away to look out of the window, crossing her arms over her body as if that would contain the pain that was spreading like an ink spill through her. Was she deluded to hope no one would remember their past connection? Who else would link their names and start the gossip all over again? How would she cope with it a second time?

No one knew about the baby.

No one.

At least that secret was safe.

But everything else was out there for everyone to pick over like crows on a rotting carcass. All the intimate details of her brief relationship with Sam would be fodder, grist for the mill of gossip that SHH was renowned for. She would be painted as the Scarlet Woman, the scandalous Lolita who had lured Sam away from his studies at the most pivotal moment in his career.

‘Lexi?’

Lexi pulled in a breath and faced her sister. ‘It was five years ago,’ she said. ‘Hopefully no one will even remember what happened back then.’

Bella looked doubtful. ‘I still think you should tell Matthew.’

‘I will tell him,’ Lexi said, breaking out into a sweat. ‘I’ll tell him it was a stupid little fling that meant nothing.’

Bella chewed at her lip for a moment. ‘Is this the first time you’ve seen Sam since you broke up?’ she asked.

‘No, I ran into him in the doctors’ car park on my way to see you,’ Lexi said, raking a distracted hand through her hair. ‘That’ll teach me for breaking the rules. I won’t park there ever again. Cross my heart and—’ She stopped and gave Bella an apologetic grimace as her hand dropped back by her side. ‘Sorry, bad choice of words.’

Bella continued to look at her with a concerned frown on her face. ‘You’re not happy about seeing him again, are you?’ she said.

Lexi lifted her shoulders in a couldn’t-care-less manner. ‘It’s always a little difficult running into ex-partners. It’s part of the dating life. Once a relationship ends you don’t always end up the best of friends.’

‘Not that I would know anything about the dating life …’ Bella said as she fiddled with the edge of the sheet covering her thin little body.

Lexi sighed and reached for Bella’s small, cold hand. ‘You’re being so wonderfully brave about all this,’ she said. ‘If it was me I’d be terrified.’

‘I am terrified,’ Bella said. ‘I want what you have. I want a life. I want to one day get married and have babies.’

Lexi felt her insides clench like the snap of a rabbit trap. That aching sadness gripped her every time she thought of the baby she could have had if things had been different. It was ironic that Matthew was keen to start a family as soon as they were married. His parents were excited at the prospect of becoming grandparents. But she had come to dread the topic every time he raised it. It wasn’t the only thing she argued with him about. Her lack of interest in sex had become a huge issue over the last few months of their engagement. Matthew’s trip abroad, she suspected, were his attempts to make her heart grow fonder in his absence. She didn’t have the heart to tell him it wasn’t working. She missed him certainly, but not in the way he most wanted her to.

‘I’ll be the only Lockheart sister left childless and lonely on the shelf,’ Bella continued to bemoan.

‘Is Evie seeing someone?’ Lexi asked feeling a little piqued that she hadn’t been told by Evie herself. ‘I was under the impression there’s been no one since she broke things off with Stuart … what was it? Two years ago?’

‘I heard one of the nurses talking about Evie and Finn Kennedy,’ Bella said.

Lexi laughed. ‘Finn Kennedy? Are you out of your mind? He’s the last person I would have picked for Evie. He’s so grumpy and brooding. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile.’

‘He’s very kind to patients,’ Bella said in his defence. ‘And he’s smiled at me lots of times.’

‘In my opinion Finn Kennedy has a chip on his shoulder that it’d take an industrial crane to shift,’ Lexi said. ‘I hope to goodness Evie knows what she’s doing. The last thing we need in the Lockheart family is another difficult person to deal with.’

There was a small silence.

‘Has Mum been in to see you?’ Lexi asked.

Bella’s shoulders slumped a little further as she shook her head. ‘You know what she’s like …’

Lexi gave Bella’s hand another little squeeze. ‘I wish I could change places with you, Bells,’ she said sincerely. ‘I hate seeing you suffer … I hate the thought of losing you.’

Bella gave her a wobbly smile. ‘I guess that’s in Sam Bailey’s hands now, isn’t it?’

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