# Coming Home For Christmas

Lindsay McKenna, Delores Fossen, Geri Krotow

Three stories salute the romance of holiday homecomingsChristmas Angel by Lindsay McKennaWhen Navy SEAL Kyle Anderson gets a call saying Anna Campbell needs him, he doesn't think twice. On the Montana ranch where they grew up, holiday magic permeates every acre, kindling long-awaited love. But will duty trump desire?Unexpected Gift by Delores FossenTailed by a camera crew, Air Force Captain Gabe Brenner returns to Texas to deliver a Christmas message to his best friend's sister Kelly Coburn. But she's had her own delivery: beautiful baby Noel…Gabe's daughter.Navy Joy by Geri KrotowChief Petty Officer Ian Cairne arrives stateside for Christmas with a four-legged friend: his late buddy's military service dog. Fortunately, the beautiful town vet Wendi Cooper is willing to take this odd couple into her home–and her heart.

Three stories salute the romance of holiday homecomings

Christmas Angel by Lindsay McKenna

When Navy SEAL Kyle Anderson gets a call saying Anna Campbell needs him, he doesn’t think twice. On the Montana ranch where they grew up, holiday magic permeates every acre, kindling long-awaited love. But will duty trump desire?

Unexpected Gift by Delores Fossen

Tailed by a camera crew, Air Force Captain Gabe Brenner returns to Texas to deliver a Christmas message to his best friend’s sister Kelly Coburn. But she’s had her own delivery: beautiful baby Noel…Gabe’s daughter.

Navy Joy by Geri Krotow

Chief Petty Officer Ian Cairne arrives stateside for Christmas with a four-legged friend: his late buddy’s military service dog. Fortunately, the beautiful town vet Wendi Cooper is willing to take this odd couple into her home—and her heart.

Praise for New York Times bestselling author Lindsay McKenna

“McKenna steadily ratchets up the tension…

a good blend of romance and action

makes this an amazing read.”

—RT Book Reviews on High Country Rebel

“Another masterpiece.”

—Affaire de Coeur on Enemy Mine

“Talented Lindsay McKenna delivers excitement

and romance in equal measure.”

—RT Book Reviews on High Country Rebel

Praise for USA TODAY bestselling author

Delores Fossen

“Suspense, charm and a complicated plot

keep the action revved up.”

—RT Book Reviews on The Baby’s Guardian

“Fossen delivers a flawless roller-coaster adventure

that careens through the countryside with the velocity

of a speeding bullet. It will take your breath away.”

—RT Book Reviews on Outlaw Lawman

Praise for favorite author Geri Krotow

“A poignant and sweet military romance

that reminds us of the many sacrifices made by those

who serve in the military and those who love them.

A heartwarming story.”

—Night Owl Reviews on Navy Rules

“Krotow’s deep, rich characters are perfect for this

story fraught with tension and emotional growth.”

—RT Book Reviews on Navy Orders

LINDSAY McKENNA

is proud to have served her country in the U.S. Navy as an aerographer’s mate third class—also known as a weather forecaster. A New York Times bestselling author, she pioneered the military romance subgenre and loves to combine heart-pounding action with poignant romance. True to her military roots, Lindsay is the originator of the reader-favorite Morgan’s Mercenaries series. She does extensive hands-on research, including flying in aircraft such as a P3-B Orion sub-hunter and a B-52 bomber. She was the first romance writer to sign her books in the Pentagon bookstore. Visit her online at: www.lindsaymckenna.com, www.twitter.com/lindsaymckenna and www.facebook.com/eileen.nauman.

DELORES FOSSEN

Former Air Force Captain Delores Fossen is a USA TODAY bestselling author, and she has received a Booksellers’ Best Award for Best Romantic Suspense, as well as an RT Reviewers’ Choice Award. In addition, she’s had nearly a hundred short stories and articles published in national magazines. Delores is currently at work on her next Harlequin Intrigue novel. Visit her website at www.dfossen.net for news on upcoming releases and more.

GERI KROTOW

A U.S. Naval Academy graduate and former Naval Intelligence Officer, Geri left her military career to write full-time. She has traveled the world, living in such far-flung places as Whidbey Island, Washington state and Moscow, Russia. Geri enjoys creating love stories for Harlequin Superromance that stand the test of time and have settings that she has personally experienced. She’s lived it, now she writes it! Visit her website at www.gerikrotow.com to join her Loyal Reader Program, and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Goodreads.

Coming Home for Christmas

New York Times Bestselling Author

Christmas Angel

Lindsay McKenna

USA TODAY Bestselling Author

Unexpected Gift

Delores Fossen

Navy Joy

Geri Krotow


www.millsandboon.co.uk

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Table of Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Praise

About the Authors

Title Page

Christmas Angel

Dedication

Dear Reader

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

Epilogue

Unexpected Gift

Dedication

Dear Reader

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

Navy Joy

Dedication

Dear Reader

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Copyright

Christmas Angel

Lindsay McKenna

To my Italian chef friend, Giovanni Scorzo-Andreoli. I’ve been to Italy and I know the food,

which is to die for. It was such a delight to

find real Italian food in Scottsdale, Arizona!

My thanks to Pamela Kimbrough and Vesna Ajic, my lunch buddies, for finding this Italian jewel and the many wonderful meals we share there together. www.andreoli-grocer.com.

Dear Reader,

It was a delight and honor to be part of this very special Christmas anthology for several reasons. I want to thank Birgit Davis-Todd, Senior Executive Editor, for allowing this project to become a reality, and especially for asking Mills & Boon writers who are military vets to write the military romance novellas you will read in this book.

I was in the U.S. Navy as an AG3 (weather forecaster) and pioneered the military genre in 1983 with Captive of Fate (Silhouette Special Edition). My other two sister writers, Delores Fossen, U.S. Air Force, and Geri Krotow, U.S. Navy, are also military vets, so the readers are getting the real deal. The novellas will have a uniqueness that no one else can produce because we were in the military and understand how it works from the inside out. We’re able to lend an insider’s knowledge to the novellas as a result.

With the drawdown and our heroic military men and women finally coming home from Afghanistan, it makes our stories all the more heartrending and poignant. Delores, Geri and I know what it’s like to be stationed somewhere else in the world when the holidays hit. And it’s a very lonely time for everyone because of the separation involved. Christmas is the single most important holiday a military person yearns to be home for and celebrate. And so often it doesn’t happen. The sacrifices our military people make are many.

To our military personnel, thank you for your service, your hours alone overseas, so far away from your home and family. And equally, let’s praise those wives/husbands and children who also make those sacrifices in different ways when their loved one is so far away from them. It’s hard on everyone. Just know that you are not forgotten by any of these military women vets and authors here at Mills & Boon.

Hooyah!

Lindsay McKenna

CHAPTER ONE

SNOW TWISTED, TURNED and sparkled around Kyle Anderson as he eased out of the rental car. He closed the door and thrust his hands deep into the pockets of his leather bomber jacket. The cold snowflakes landed in his hair, slid across his jacket and melted upon touching his face as he slowly walked toward the White Sulphur Springs Ranch house. The wind was inconstant and he hunched his shoulders, hearing his combat boots crunching in the foot of snow across the graveled parking area.

His heart squeezed with anticipation and worry. Anna Campbell, the woman he loved and had walked away from, had been in a serious auto accident two weeks ago. She’d been in a coma, though now was recovering at home.

Kyle had been notified only three days ago because his SEAL team had been out on a two-week mission. He didn’t think twice before leaving to see her.

His mouth tightened and he opened the creaking white picket-fence gate. Snow had covered the bright red tiles he had helped place there as a ten-year-old. Kyle had grown up with Anna on her parents’ ten-thousand-acre cattle ranch. There were so many good memories here. He halted for a moment on the covered sidewalk, looking around.

The sun was setting, the sky a light gray. He could see the sharp pointed tips of the evergreens behind the massive two-story log house. To his left were three large red barns. To his right were pipe-rail fences where the cattle were kept. Most of the animals were probably in nearby pastures, huddled in herds, their butts to the wind, keeping warm. The barns would house the wrangler’s horses in box stalls, the grain and hay to feed these herds.

No one was out in the coming blizzard. The car-rental place at the Great Falls, Montana, airport had warned him that a major storm was on its way. It was expected to dump three to four feet of snow in the next one or two days. He’d arrived home just in time.

Turning, he wiped his wet face and spotted something in the window nearest the bright red wooden door. It was an electric candle sitting in the window.

Old memories flowed through Kyle as he stared at the light, filling him with remorse and yearning. When she was eighteen, Anna had bought the electric candle in a scroll-like saucer of green copper at a hardware store in Great Falls. She told Kyle she would keep the candle on during the holidays, as a light, so he could find his way home to her. Pain squeezed his heart.

The window was partly frosted over in the corners, the ice crystals making the soft yellow light look like some kind of halo an angel might wear. Anna was his angel. She always had been. His mouth pulled in at the corners as he stood there on the walk, his gaze on that candle, the memories filling him like warm, spiced red wine tainted with bitterness.

Kyle couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t loved Anna. They had grown up together on this ranch, attended the same small school, played together, laughed together and had so much fun. He’d joined the Navy at eighteen and later became a SEAL. He’d left Anna crying in this very driveway that cold December day. Rubbing his chest, grief, loss and concern warred within Kyle.

Of all the people in the world he loved, Anna had always owned his heart. And he’d broken hers. Dragging in a ragged breath, Kyle tried to steady his emotions, but it was impossible. He knew from several phone calls with the head wrangler at the ranch, Jepson Turner, that Anna had a grade-three concussion, a serious one, but was steadily improving. For that, Kyle had breathed in a sigh of relief so deep that he was overwhelmed with gratefulness in that moment.

He had always expected to die in combat, not be called home because Anna teetered between life and death for two weeks in a hospital.

What could he say to her? Kyle stood with the snow falling silently around him, his gaze never leaving that candle, or the hope Anna had clung to that he’d someday come home and stay here forever. With her. The starry-eyed idealism of an eighteen-year-old girl helplessly in love with him. He’d loved her and she’d blindly loved him. At first, as children, it was puppy love. In junior high, the love turned serious. But then, she’d turned down his marriage proposal when he’d come home at twenty-two.

No one in his platoon saw him weeping. Kyle had gone off by himself. He’d cried for what he’d selfishly thrown away: Anna. He’d never talked or emailed her again, not wanting to cause her more pain. And then, five years later, he got an email from his mother, telling him that she’d divorced her wrangler husband, Tom Carter. Kyle hadn’t even known she’d married. It came as a shock. But he couldn’t leave the SEALs and come home and marry her. His heart wanted that, but his loyalty to his team had been a stronger calling.

Until now.

News of her accident—that she’d almost died—changed everything. It changed him. But Kyle wasn’t sure about anything right now. And it was the uncertainty that made him tense and edgy as he forced himself to move the last twenty feet toward that red-painted door and press the buzzer. He tried to ignore the circular wreath composed of sprigs of pine with a bright red ribbon and silver-glittered pinecones fastened to it. That was Anna’s work. She loved Christmas and made beautiful arrangements to celebrate the season. When he was younger, he had helped her.

What would Anna look like now? She knew he was coming home to see her. So many years ago, at her parents’ urging to protect the family property, Anna had made out a will and had given him power of attorney, if she ever got seriously injured. Kyle had completely forgotten about it because she’d made this decision so far in the past. Part of her eighteen-year-old idealism, he supposed. Even though she had gotten married, she’d never changed that in her will. Throughout the years, had Anna hoped he would return someday to her?

Now he was twenty-nine. Never had he thought he’d be pulling emergency medical leave to see Anna. Kyle had always expected to be the one to die, not her. She was too beautiful, too filled with life, to ever die. And she almost had.

The door opened. Kyle stared at Anna. She was tall and lean like a willow, dressed in a bright red cable-knit sweater, jeans and sensible leather boots. Her ginger-colored hair lay in thick red-gold tresses around her shoulders. As Kyle gazed into her forest green eyes, his breath hitched. Anna had always reminded him of a gossamer fairy found between the pages of a book. Her face was oval, eyes wide set with a full mouth that had always curved into an infectious smile.

Now Kyle saw her once-perfectly aligned nose had been broken. When had it happened? The break didn’t ruin the soft beauty of her face, but it bothered him that she had suffered. As he hungrily sponged her into himself, he saw more unsettling signs of her injuries.

Usually, her cheeks were tinged pink, flushed with life, but not now. There was gauntness to her face, telling him she wasn’t eating well. And the dancing gold highlights that had always dappled the green depths of her eyes were missing. Anna was pale, her eyes lifeless, her full mouth compressed, as if she were still in pain. Her hand came to rest on the wooden jamb, and Kyle saw her waver just a bit. Was she dizzy? Was the head injury causing all of this?

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get home sooner,” he said simply, hands at his side. “How are you doing, Anna?”

She stared up at him, gripping the jamb with her long, slender fingers. Her voice broke and she stepped to the side, gesturing for him to enter the warmth of the foyer. “You didn’t have to come, Kyle.”

He moved past her and took the door and closed it behind him. As he stomped his feet on the thick rug, the snow fell off his boots. His heart beat hard in his chest. He ached to open his arms and sweep Anna into them. He saw the wariness in her eyes and sensed how fragile she really was. When Anna turned her head to his left, he saw a two-inch scar above her ear, the area still red. Kyle assumed it was the blow that had caused her coma.

“I wanted to come, Anna. I didn’t get the emergency message about your condition for two weeks because my team was out on a long-range patrol.” Wearily, he added, “I would have come sooner, but I couldn’t.” He watched her wrap her arms around her waist, as if chilled. Or defensive. He hated helplessness and felt it crawling through him.

“I—I didn’t really expect you to come home at all,” she offered quietly, giving him an understanding look. “I know your SEAL family comes first.”

Frustration thrummed through him. “I was out on an op, Anna. I returned three days ago from it and found out about your medical condition.” Emotion colored his deep tone. “I wanted to come home. To be here for you.” And he saw a bit of life come to her eyes over his sincere words. “You put me down as POA. Remember that? When we were eighteen? It was a long time ago.”

“Jepson reminded me of it. I’d completely forgotten about it.”

God, how badly he wanted to haul Anna into his arms. She appeared not only fragile, but more wraith than human, as if she might disappear at any moment, gone forever. His heart raged with need for her and Kyle flexed his fingers, forcing himself not to reach out and touch Anna. He’d made it clear seven years ago that the SEALs were his family, not her. He never regretted his words more than he did right now. He’d spoken them out of anger and hurt after she refused to marry him.

“I wanted to be here for you, Anna.” His throat tightened. Aching in ways he couldn’t even name or control, Kyle added a slight smile, “Hey, you were always there for me. Remember? When I fell off that horse and landed in barbed wire?” He held up his left hand, pulling back the sleeve on his jacket, revealing the thin crisscross of white scars from that day. “You took care of me? Tore up part of your T-shirt to make a bandage out of it to wrap my bleeding arm?”

She looked down at her feet, her mouth softening. “Yes, of course, I remember.”

To hell with it. Kyle stepped forward, placing his finger beneath her chin, making eye contact with Anna. There was such longing in her eyes that it momentarily shocked him. Longing for him? Could it be? Dropping his finger, he rasped, “Well, you’ve just fallen into another kind of barbed wire, Anna. And I want to be here for you if you want me.”

Above all, Kyle didn’t want to stay if she didn’t want him around. The years between them had been long and desolate, but dammit, he felt that same warm, powerful connection with her right now. His feelings had never dimmed through the years. Not once. Now he felt an amplified intensity to them.

She lifted her head a little more confidently, held his gray gaze. “It’s...just that it’s a shock to see you, is all, Kyle. I never really expected you to come home even though you were my POA.”

That hurt worse than a bullet going through his leg, which it had. Trying not to wince at her barely spoken words, Kyle saw how changed Anna was from before. It had to be due to the concussion. “I’m here,” he told her firmly. “I’ve got thirty days of medical leave, Anna. There’s no other place I’d rather be.”

“That sounds good,” she whispered unsteadily, searching his eyes. “I know it’s hard for you to leave your SEAL family.”

Kyle wanted to deny all of that right now. Instead, he rasped, “Right now, you’re the center of my universe, Anna. Just you. Okay?” He forced himself not to lift his hand and caress her pale cheek. For a moment, he saw hope flare in her dark eyes. And then, it vanished. He swore he could feel Anna’s yearning for him as much as he felt for her right now. But it was all water under the bridge.

“Are you hungry? You’ve been traveling. I made a pot of vegetable beef soup earlier today. Why don’t you come into the kitchen and eat? We can talk there.”

Kyle watched her walk. Anna wasn’t steady and he slipped his hand beneath her left elbow, cutting his long stride for her sake.

“It smells great,” he offered. “Are you okay?” He searched her profile. Anna was a cattleman’s daughter. She was the only child of Paul and Nancy Campbell. The family had a hundred-year ranching history in this part of Montana. Anna had always been strong and confident, but now she seemed just the opposite to Kyle. And it scared him.

She grimaced. “My head.” She pointed to the scar above her left ear. “The neurologists are telling me with a grade-three concussion I’ll have some dizziness and maybe other symptoms for a while. Eventually, they said, they’d go away.” She opened her hand. “Right now, since being released, I deal with dizziness. It just comes and goes. I don’t have any control over it, and I wish I did.” She looked up, no doubt seeing his concern. “I’ll be okay, Kyle.”

“You’ve been out of the hospital how long?”

“Three days. Every day is better,” she assured him, stopping at the entrance to the kitchen. “I’m going to let you get the bowl down from the cupboard and take as much soup as you want.” She gestured toward the gas stove, where a five-quart pot sat. “I don’t trust my equilibrium that much tonight.”

Kyle guided Anna to one of the heavy oak chairs and pulled it out for her. His fingers tingled where they met her elbow. “Do you remember where everything is?” she asked.

He smiled and shrugged out of his coat, placing it over the chair next to Anna. “I think I do. Are you hungry? Can you eat a little something, too?”

Anna had become thin, and it pained him. He knew her parents had died in an auto wreck a year ago. Running a huge ranch like this took more than one person. All the weight of responsibility had fallen on Anna’s slender shoulders. Automatically, Kyle found himself wanting to protect her, lift her burden, give her the time she needed to heal herself.

“Maybe I’ll try just a little.”

Kyle moved to the drain board and opened up a cupboard where the blue-and-white Delft-patterned bowls were kept. It was so easy to fall back into the routine of how they’d grown up together. He and his parents had eaten with Anna’s parents every night. His father had been the foreman for the ranch. They were like extended family, and damned if anything had ever felt so fitting as this right now. “You’re thin, Anna.”

Walking to the stove, Kyle unhooked a metal ladle from the wall, opened the lid and inhaled the flavorful scents of the soup. He piled his bowl high with beef chunks, potatoes, carrots, onions and peas and put about a third as much in a bowl for Anna.

“It’s the work,” she admitted, resting her hands on the long, rectangular oak table.

“Don’t you have a foreman?” he asked, handing her the bowl and giving her a soup spoon. And then Kyle remembered that Jepson had told him Trevor Bates, the foreman, had been driving the truck to Great Falls with Anna when the accident had occurred. It had killed Bates outright and damned near killed Anna. As he sat down at her left elbow, he noticed how her eyes darkened with grief.

“I did...but Trevor died in the accident.” She dragged in a ragged breath and slowly moved her spoon through the thick, hearty soup. “I still don’t remember the accident. Nothing.... I couldn’t even be there for his funeral.”

“I’m sorry,” Kyle murmured, reaching out and briefly touching her arm.

“There’s a lot to do around here,” Anna uttered tiredly before sipping the soup.

Kyle hungrily dug into the beef and veggies. He watched her eat, and she seemed tentative about the food. Between bites he asked, “Are you not hungry?”

“I am.” Then Anna shrugged. “I get nauseated off and on. Sometimes, food triggers it. The doctors said in time that will go away, too.”

Which was why she was so pathetically thin, Kyle thought. He smiled into her eyes. “Can I give you my appetite? I can guarantee you, I’m going back for another bowl here in a few minutes.” He was starved for good home cooking. Anna had cut up the vegetables and added the spices, and this soup had been made with love as far as Kyle was concerned.

She seemed to rally beneath his teasing and picked at her clothes. “I lost twelve pounds in two weeks. Can you believe that?”

“Yeah,” he said bluntly. “You look like a toothpick, Anna. And that worries me.” He motioned to her bowl. “Come on, get some of the meat into you. I’ll even spoon-feed you if you want.”

Her cheeks suddenly flushed pink. Anna was blushing. She used to do that all the time when they were growing up. The first time Kyle had leaned over on his horse and given Anna a peck on the cheek when they were thirteen, her cheeks turned as red as an apple.

Giving him a wry look, Anna said, “No, I can feed myself. You’re wolfing down your food.”

Kyle felt heat steal into his cheeks as he looked down at his nearly emptied bowl. “That’s what we do. When I first joined the Navy, I learned to eat fast.”

There was that sadness in her eyes again. Anna had once dreamed of them being married, having a family, sharing their love here on this sprawling ranch. His heart clenched and he felt guilty. He could remember when Anna was eight and she had her dolly in her arms, telling him that someday they would be married and they’d have more dollies. God, the innocence of childhood. And he’d gone off to the Navy and left her.

He’d tried to convince her to marry him at twenty-two and follow him out to the West Coast, out to SEAL Team 3 headquarters at Coronado Island. Anna had refused. Kyle never forgot that tearful, gutting day. He’d bought a set of wedding rings and come home on leave to propose to Anna. And she had burst into tears, sobbing, making him feel like a selfish bastard. Kyle couldn’t handle a woman’s tears very well at all. He didn’t know any man who could.

How many times had he replayed that conversation in the living room of this ranch house? That Anna was afraid he’d be killed in combat. And where would that leave her? What if she was pregnant? Or they had children? Where would he be? Never home. Never there as a father to his children, or a husband to her. Anna was right on all accounts.

In the end, he took the rings, pocketed them and understood why she refused to marry him. He could give her nothing except worry, loneliness and maybe a funeral because SEALs led dangerous lives. And they were rarely home to help the wife or be a parent to their children even when stateside. It all fell on the shoulders of the wife. He never blamed Anna for her decision. He blamed himself.

Sliding the chair back, Kyle walked over to the stove and put another heaping amount of food into his bowl and then sat down. “How can I help you while I’m here?” he asked her.

“You can help Jepson. We have wranglers, but many of them are going home for Christmas and it’s leaving us shorthanded. He needs another wrangler.”

“Okay. What else? What about you, Anna?” He looked around the bright white kitchen with red and green curtains across the heavily frosted windows. There was a huge fireplace in the living room that moved heat everywhere within the two-story ranch house. Already the blizzard outside was coating the double-paned windows, the temperature dropping drastically.

“I’ll be okay, Kyle. If you could just help Jepson, that would take a huge load off my shoulders.”

“Do you need to be driven into Great Falls to see your doctors? Any other medical appointments?”

She wrinkled her nose. “No one is going anywhere with this blizzard. I have my medications and I’ll be fine. Just lots of sleeping and rest are what they prescribed. I have an appointment in Great Falls in two weeks.”

Nodding, Kyle watched her sipping her soup. She was trying to eat, he realized. For him. He felt euphoric. And then reality crashed down on him. Was Anna going to count the days until he left? Again? Always? That tormented him. It had to hurt her, seeing him again. Did she still want a life with him that she couldn’t have?

Anna was a good person who always did right by others. She was a hard worker, honest as the day was long, and was always there when Kyle had needed her in the past. He would be here for her.

“I noticed a tree holder in the corner,” he said, hitching a thumb toward the flagstone living room. “For your Christmas tree?”

“Trevor had just put it down before the accident. He and I were planning to go up to Christmas Tree Hill the day after we got back from Great Falls, and cut two trees down. One for here and one for the wranglers’ bunkhouse.”

Kyle nodded, holding her gaze. “Would you like to do it with me? Remember every year as kids we’d go up there with our parents? They’d let us find just the right trees for our homes.” His heart squeezed with all those fond memories, the laughter and fun they’d had choosing the Christmas trees. He saw Anna considering his idea and wasn’t sure if she was well enough to drive up there and tromp around in the snow, looking for a tree.

“Yes, I’d love to do that, Kyle.”

Hope and emotion were combined in her suddenly husky tone. For a split second, Kyle swore he saw moisture in Anna’s green eyes, but just as suddenly, it was gone. Had he imagined it? The look of longing in her expression was there to read. The joy in her eyes was there, too. Kyle felt his heart expand. God, he wanted nothing more than to lift her depressed spirits. He’d give his right arm to see her smile instead of that sad curve to her lips that always haunted her mouth instead.

She had a lot to be grieving about. The loss of Trevor was a huge blow to a ranch of this size. Anna had the innate ability to make everyone feel nurtured by her maternal warmth, to be inclusive of everyone, as if those who worked at the ranch were like family to her, too. And that was just the way Anna was built.

Right now, Kyle was feeling that warmth exuding from her toward him. That invisible sensation of being special, of being loved and cosseted by her.

“This blizzard isn’t a good time to do much of anything,” he said, eating the hearty soup with enthusiasm. Kyle saw she’d finished just about everything in her bowl, a good sign. He was grateful Anna had an appetite. Kyle knew from too many experiences that on patrol, if a team member got wounded or killed, no one had an appetite. They forced themselves to eat because there was no choice. The only way to get back to the FOB was to continually eat food and keep hydrated.

“Maybe in three or four days?” Anna asked.

“Yeah,” he murmured, cleaning up the last of the food in his bowl.

“Let’s see what Jepson says about the road up to the hill,” she counseled, pushing the emptied bowl away.

“Sounds like a plan.” Giving her a fond look, he said, “You ate everything.”

Touching her stomach, Anna made a slight shrug. “It must be you, Kyle. I haven’t eaten this much since returning home from the hospital.”

Preening inwardly, Kyle wanted to believe her. He knew he had influence over Anna. Despite her hesitancy, her reluctance to share any feelings with him, he sensed it. If the SEALs didn’t give him anything else, they had given him a powerful, unquestioned intuition. And if Kyle was accurately reading Anna, she was more than glad to see him.

It almost felt like old times when they were young, naive and innocent to the ways of the world. And Kyle was aware that his decisions had made Anna sadder than anyone else’s actions had in her life.

“Where would you like me to bunk?” he asked her, holding her gaze. Once again, her cheeks flamed pink. Why? Kyle knew there was a bunkhouse for wranglers near the main ranch house. He found himself resisting going there because he wanted to remain close to Anna in case she needed help. If nothing else, he could at least support and assist her if necessary. It ate at his sensitized conscience that he would be here for only a month.

“You can have the guest bedroom down the hall.” She gestured gracefully toward that direction. “If that’s okay with you?”

Okay? Hell, it was perfect. And already, Kyle was plotting and planning when he could kiss Anna, feel her lush lips blossom beneath his onslaught, feel her heat combine with his. Because when they kissed, the real world went away and only the two of them existed in that exquisite, heated moment. And damn, he wanted to take her to bed, love her gently, love her until he would hear those beautiful sounds caught in her throat, feel her convulse around him.

Was it all a dream? Kyle was a realist. He knew from past experience Anna would refuse to go to bed with him ever again. Because if she did, Kyle knew she would agree to whatever he wanted from her. And the Montana woman, the pragmatist, knew better. She would not sell her heart for one night in his arms. Or even thirty nights. It had to be forever or not at all.

CHAPTER TWO

FOUR DAYS... ANNA closed her eyes, standing near her bedroom door, hand upon the brass knob. She had changed into an old pair of jeans that had seen better days, two layers of sweaters beneath her dark blue nylon parka and good boots to traverse the knee-deep snow. As she opened her eyes, the slats of sun filtered through the burgundy drapes in her bedroom. Kyle waited for her out in the living room. They were going to go find the perfect Christmas tree for the ranch house and the wranglers’ bunkhouse. Her house was now painfully empty, no longer filled with the booming laughter of her father or the teasing from her mother. It seemed longer than a year that they’d been gone. And on days like this, particularly around the holidays, it felt as if someone was carving up her heart with a dull knife.

She felt weak and needy. Four days with Kyle under her roof triggered the powerful emotions of loving him once more. He was charismatic. His eyes were a deep gray with a black ring around the iris, making him look like the focused hunter he really was. He hunted men, just as raptors hunted their kind of food.

And his smile was devastating to her, dismantling all logic as to why she shouldn’t get involved with him. Did he know how his smile undid her? Did Kyle read the desire in her expression?

At twenty-two, seven long years ago, he had come home and they’d made love, giving their hearts to one another. Even after their breakup, she wore her heart on her sleeve. She couldn’t hide how she felt about Kyle. She never could. And right now, her heart pined so powerfully for any little touch, any smile or gaze from Kyle.

There was no mistaking what lay in his gray gaze, that intense craving for her alone. Kyle seemed cautious about touching her during the past four days. He’d been circumspect, as if respecting her space, her needs. But at night in bed? She hurt so much, the ache in her body for this man with the careless smile and dancing gray eyes haunted her. Kyle exuded life times ten. To Anna, he was like the force of sunlight come to earth in the shape of a human. Just being around him had increased her appetite, chased away so much of her dizziness and infused her with his energy, his love. Within days she felt ten times stronger than before.

Kyle cajoled her into eating a little more each day. He made them breakfast, and his buttermilk pancakes were mouth-waveringly good. She was surprised he knew how to cook, but in the end, she left no crumbs on her plate, either. Anna would swear she’d gained five pounds. It was Kyle’s love for her, she realized, that was feeding her soul, infusing her heart and body. He had always had that kind of magical effect upon her in every way.

Her fingers tightened around the doorknob. What was she going to do? She felt the intense longing to be in his arms, resting against his stalwart body, knowing he would hold her safe. Kyle would love her if she allowed him. Every cell in her body trembled with need. The last time he had loved her, kissed her, was seven years ago. And she could still remember the strength of his mouth upon hers.

What did that make her? A fool forever? Hadn’t she tried to erase Kyle from her heart? They were children who grew up together. Running through fields of purple clover, rolling in lush, green grass and lying together, hands behind their heads, watching the white clouds change shape above them.

A small sound, part desperation, part desire, slipped from between her lips. Anna wanted to blame her neediness for Kyle on her concussion, but she knew that wasn’t true. Her heart wanted this man who was so tall, so confident and such a warrior among men. And she knew she was chasing a dream that would never come true. Kyle had said it himself: his family was the SEALs. Not her. She was second in his life. She had been first before he’d turned eighteen. The sweet, stolen kisses they’d shared still danced in her heart’s memory. They had been so young, innocent and so much in love with one another.

Opening her eyes, Anna stared down at her hand, felt the dampness and coolness of her fingers around the brass knob. Kyle had loved the SEALs more. And that was what she had to remember. No matter what happened today, out at Christmas Tree Hill, Anna had to keep that knowledge that she was second in his life. Her heart didn’t want to remember it, but her head did.

Slowly, she twisted the knob and the door quietly opened before her. Anna heard the soft snap and crackle of wood in the massive fireplace down the hall. Those natural sounds always soothed her. This afternoon, she knew Kyle was there, warming himself by the fire, waiting for her.

Her heart cried out in anguish to go to him, wrap her arms around his narrow waist, rest her head against his well-sprung chest, feel his arms slide around her, enclose her, hold her close. In four days, the desperation had built within her so much that Anna felt like a crazed animal, wanting to throw caution to the wind. Take Kyle to her bed, love him with all the passion she possessed and allow him to return it to her. She saw the look in his eyes. Saw the hunger for her in them. Anna knew he didn’t possess the ability to hide how he felt toward her. With her, Kyle wore his heart on his sleeve, too.

Numbly, she walked down the flagstone hall, the hollow sound of the tread of her boots against the caramel, white and sienna–colored sedimentary rock. As she emerged, Kyle lifted his chin, his gaze narrowing on her. Heat began to build in her breasts, tightening them, and then that arc of blazing heat dived below, nestling and restless deep within her. All Kyle had to do was look at her. Just a look.

“Ready?” he asked, studying her closely as she drew up to him.

“Yes,” she said, a little breathless.

“Blue sky and sunshine out there,” he said, slipping his hand beneath her elbow. “A beautiful day. Jepson said it was going to get above freezing.”

Anna barely heard his low, dark voice that always made her shiver with anticipation. She felt the monitored strength of his long, strong fingers cupping her elbow as he opened the door and guided her into the crisp afternoon air.

Kyle led her outside the gated fence to a black Chevy truck. He opened the passenger door for Anna and she stepped inside the cab. The sky was blindingly blue, and she put on her red baseball cap and dark glasses. Watching Kyle walk around the truck, the way his shoulders were proudly squared, she admired the strength in his face, in the set of his jaw. It was when her gaze dropped to his well-shaped mouth that she groaned internally. How badly she wanted his mouth upon hers.

“Jepson said he had a wrangler take a grader up into the road area earlier this morning where we’ll find a tree,” Kyle said, putting the truck in gear. He drove out of the plowed area, remembering the way to that hill.

“We’ll need two trees today, Kyle.”

“Two it is.” He smiled as he drove slowly down the road covered with hard-packed snow. “How are you feeling today?”

“Okay,” she lied, clasping her gloved hands in her lap.

“Dizziness?”

“None so far today.”

“Good.”

There was relief in his low voice, and genuine caring. In all the years, Kyle had never lied to her. He’d always been honest and straightforward with her. Anna felt as if she were sitting next to sunlight. Kyle unaccountably lifted her spirit. Fed her hope. Made her feel as if everything in the world would turn out all right. He’d always made her feel that way.

“My mother emailed me and said you’d gotten a divorce,” Kyle said, giving her a glance.

“Yes. From Tom Carter.” Giving him a quick look, she saw his set profile, his brows down. “Why?”

“I didn’t know him.”

“He was a drifter.”

“Who came to work here?”

“Yes.” Anna knotted her hands, staring at them.

“He must have been special for you to fall in love with him.”

Wincing internally, Anna said, “I thought I loved him.”

The cab went silent, just the slow grind of the engine as Kyle guided the truck up and around a long curve. Up ahead was a large hill wreathed with evergreens.

“What do you mean you thought you loved him?” Kyle moved his gloved hand a little on the steering wheel, keeping his eyes on the slippery road.

“I was...young.” Her throat tightened and she didn’t dare look at Kyle or she’d burst out in tears.

“I didn’t know about it.” Kyle took a deep breath. “Only the divorce. I’m sorry, Anna. You deserve only happiness.”

Pain scored her heart. “A-after you left at twenty-two, I was lost, Kyle. I’m not blaming you. I know you asked me to marry you, but I just couldn’t...I couldn’t...”

He reached out and squeezed her arm for a moment. “It’s all right. I understood why you didn’t, Anna.”

Pain increased in her heart, and she wished his fingers would remain around her lower arm. “I wanted a family....”

“Yes,” he said, his voice thick, “you’ve always been a mother at heart. You’ve wanted a brood of kids since forever.”

She opened her hands. “I thought when Tom entered my life, that I could love him. That we could settle down. He said he wanted kids, too.” She touched her nose. A memory. “I believed him.”

“We fell out of touch after I left,” Kyle said, apology in his voice.

“I couldn’t email you, Kyle. It was—too painful.”

Nodding, he rasped, “Yeah, for both of us, but especially for you. It’s okay. I understand.”

“After a while,” Anna whispered, “I wanted to email you. But Tom discovered all the letters and emails you had written to me over the years from eighteen until you were twenty-two.... He was furious and jealous.”

Giving her a sharpened look, Kyle heard the anguish in her voice. “Jealous?”

“Very.”

“I took all the letters you’d written to me and hid them from him because I knew he would destroy them. He accused me of being unfaithful to him. Of loving you, not him.” Anna met his turbulent gaze. “I was twenty-seven at the time. We’d had a five-year marriage and I knew Tom wanted to leave me. I—I couldn’t get pregnant. I’d suffered two miscarriages earlier and he blamed me.... He said I still loved you and not him.” Anna flexed her fingers in a helpless gesture.

“Damn.” Kyle’s mouth thinned as he pulled up to the hill. There was a path that led up to the Scotch pine that grew on the rounded summit. Turning off the truck engine, he unbuckled his seat belt and turned, sliding his arm around Anna’s hunched shoulders. Her face was filled with misery. “I wish... I wish I’d known all of this, Anna.”

“Why?” She held his stare. “What good would it have done, Kyle?”

He frowned. “Because I’ve always cared about you, Anna. Growing up, we always talked. We were best of friends. We held one another’s secrets.” Kyle took his gloved finger and moved some of her long hair away from her ear so he could see her face. “I never wanted to lose that connection with you, Anna. Not ever. I’m sorry if you thought I didn’t care. I always have....”

Tears jammed into her eyes and she quickly swallowed them away. Just the grazing touch of his index finger against her hair sent sheets of prickles and pleasure through her. She pulled away, unable to handle Kyle’s contact. Because if she didn’t remove herself, she’d collapse into his arms, cling to him and never let him go again. “I know you care,” she whispered brokenly, pushing the door open, unharnessing and escaping.

Leaving the cab, Kyle picked up the saw in his left hand. The wind was chilly and he walked over to where Anna stood at the foot of the trail. “Come on,” he urged her quietly, cupping her elbow. “Let’s go find some nice Christmas trees.”

Every foot up that winding path, Anna recalled an earlier Christmas with Kyle. By the time they entered the tree farm, tears fogged her vision and she was no longer able to drive them away. Her elbow throbbed where his hand curved around it. She found herself wanting to stop, turn and throw herself into Kyle’s arms. Anna knew he would receive her. Kiss her.

“What about this one?” Kyle asked, halting. Releasing her elbow, he pointed to a six-foot Scotch pine to their left. “What do you think?”

Blindly, Anna moved toward it, not wanting Kyle to see her tears. With quick swipes of her gloved hands, she wiped the tears away. “I think it’s perfect,” she said. “Just the right size for that corner near the fireplace.”

Kyle got down on his hands and knees, positioning the saw.

Anna stood away, watching him work, the sawing sound filling the air around them. The snow was knee-deep and the wind was brisk. She pushed her hair away from her face, watching him make quick work of the trunk. In no time, the pine tipped and fell softly into the surrounding snow. Kyle grinned up at her.

“One down. One to go...”

Anna forced a smile. As she backed up, her boot slipped. With a startled cry, she threw out her hands, falling. In seconds, Kyle was there, catching her. He fell into the snow, bringing her on top of him, protecting her. Snow kicked up and flew all around them.

Anna’s hair was showered with glistening snowflakes as Kyle rolled her on top of him to break the worst part of their fall. He was warm and strong and his arms curved around her, holding her safely against him, taking the brunt of the impact. He grunted as he hit first. Automatically, she closed her eyes, surrendering over to him entirely, knowing Kyle wasn’t about to allow her injured and healing head to slam into the hillside. She utterly relaxed in relief against him.

“Anna? Are you all right?”

The urgency in Kyle’s roughened tone snapped her eyes open. Snowflakes settled against her hair and across her face. She felt the length of his body against her own, her breasts pressed against his jacketed chest. She gave a short, nervous laugh.

“Yes...I’m okay...really...” She started to struggle to get off him, but then made the mistake of drowning in Kyle’s narrowed gray eyes. His pupils were huge and black, reminding her of a predator that has its quarry sighted. Her heart banged violently in her chest as he eased her slowly off him, tucking her down beside his body, his arm beneath her neck and shoulder, cradling her.

The world came to a halt. Their breaths were shared raggedly between them. It was going to happen. Kyle was going to kiss her. And Anna wanted this more than anything else in her world. She reached up with her gloved hand, sliding it across his stubbled cheek, and watched Kyle’s eyes suddenly grow intense upon her. Anna felt him move beside her, take off his glove and throw it aside and then curve his roughened palm against her cheek, guiding her lips toward his.

The chill of the air was warmed by his breath as his mouth moved tenderly across her parting lips. Anna heard a groan start deep within Kyle, felt his fingers grow firm against her face, angling her so he could kiss her more deeply, more fully. His mouth was strong and hungry, but not hurtful. His punctuated breath, warm against her cold nose and cheek, made Anna sink more deeply into his embrace. A small whimper caught in her throat as he coaxed her mouth open, taking her, trying to rein in his hunger for her, allowing her time to respond.

Anna’s entire world melted as his mouth slid and curved fully against hers, opening her, his tongue gliding along her lower lip, tasting her. His groan met and matched her own, and she sensed Kyle shift, pulling her hard against his body, his hand ranging across her shoulders, down her spine, trapping her hips against his erection.

It felt as if a bomb had gone off low and deep within her body as Kyle worshipped her lips and kissed the corners of her mouth, urging her to kiss him in return. And she did, her hands framing his face, her lips taking his, drowning in his male scent, the cold, fresh air and the swirling fragrance of pine encircling them.

Anna forgot about the snow melting against her face or the scattering flakes falling out of the strands of her hair. She forgot everything except Kyle as a man, a man she’d secretly loved all her life. His mouth took hers more gently now, rocking her lips open, moving his tongue inside, testing, tasting her. Her breath grew chaotic, fingers tight against his face. Anna couldn’t get enough of him.

As Kyle eased his fingers through her hair, sliding strands aside, he lifted his mouth from hers and pressed small, feathered kisses against her hairline, her brows and then across her closed eyelids. She could feel his breath against her skin, feel him reacquainting himself with every square inch of her flesh. Anna luxuriated in his surrounding her with his caresses, his care. Her heart exploded with love, the rippling effect moving through her, and she boldly pressed her hips against his, feeling his erection, wanting desperately to feel him inside her once more.

And as his kisses drifted near the lobe of her left ear, a little cry escaped her. Kyle knew how sensitive the region was in back of her ear, and even more so, her nape. His hand ranged across her hips, keeping her firmly against him, letting her know just how badly he wanted her. Her hair was swirling around her face as Kyle eased her forward until her head lay across his chest, her hand on his right shoulder as he teased and caressed her nape. More softened sounds, mewls of pleasure, tore out of her.

Slowly, so slowly, Kyle lightened his exploration and kisses across her slender neck and delicate ear. Easing up on his elbow, he cradled Anna in his left arm, staring down at her, raw need burning in his eyes for her alone.

Every female cell in her body took off in screaming need for Kyle. Her breath was choppy, her breasts rising and falling sharply against his chest. When he lifted his hand and gently tamed the ginger strands away from her face, he gave her a faint smile.

“It doesn’t seem like time means anything between us,” he rasped, smoothing a drop of water from melted snow from her brow.

Her heart was galloping in her chest. Anna couldn’t think. A mass of accumulated starvation. The ache for this man so extreme, she could give only a brief nod.

“Are you all right?” Kyle looked deeply into her dazed eyes. “Your head?”

Her head was the last thing Anna was thinking of right now. The stunning fireworks going off in her lower body held her attention. She was soaking wet between her thighs, and it had nothing to do with snow melting there. Kyle’s kiss had unlocked that door within her, and Anna understood the power of him as a man to trigger her into bright, burning life and need. “I—I’m okay...I think....” She managed a one-cornered smile, still lost in his turbulent, stormy gray gaze.

“That was one helluva surprise,” he murmured, giving her a slanted look. “I didn’t see it coming.”

“I didn’t either....” Anna closed her eyes, content to be exactly where she was—against Kyle.

“I’m not sorry, Anna. Are you?”

She barely shook her head, her hair mixed and coated with the snow.

“Come on,” Kyle urged her thickly, “we need to get you up and out of this snow before you get wet and chilled.”

Kyle gently eased her into a sitting position, stood up and then brought her slowly to her feet. He held on to her gloved hands, making sure she wasn’t dizzy or unstable. Before Anna could pull her hands from his, he began to carefully brush the snow from her dark strands. Standing so near to him, feeling his raw animal heat, sensing his care cascade over her—Anna absorbed it like the starving woman she was.

Kyle was so considerate, so careful with her. She had always felt worshipped by him. He loved her and she knew it. Right now, she’d accept secondhand love from this man because Anna had gone too long without him in her life. It was as if he were recharging her soul, allowing it to awaken once more, to dream, to want, to share with him again.

“There,” Kyle murmured. Satisfaction vibrated in his tones as he nudged the clean strands across her shoulder. “You’re snow free. You sure you’re okay?”

“Mmm, yes, fine...wonderful...” she whispered. Searching his eyes, Anna could see his love for her, and his lust. “I wish...”

“Wish what, angel?”

Anna quivered inwardly over the endearment. Ever since she could remember, Kyle had called her his guardian angel in this lifetime. “I wish...things were different....”

He cocked his head, staring at her. “In what way, Anna?”

Her throat tightened. Tears burned in the backs of her eyes. Swallowing, she said hoarsely, “That things were different between you and me, that’s all.” And if she didn’t pull away from Kyle right now, she was going to do the unthinkable: walk into his arms and never leave. But he would leave her. In less than thirty days. And Anna just couldn’t step across that chasm. Touching his jaw, she stepped back. “You’ve always known how to kiss me....”

He remained where he was, watching her, saying nothing. There was regret in Kyle’s gaze. Want. Desire. Lust. She was sure she had the same expression on her face. And then, he surprised her by stepping toward her, sliding his hands around her shoulders and holding her in place.

“We have to talk, Anna. There’s a lot that needs to be said. To be discussed. I was waiting for a time.” Kyle lifted her chin. “I was trying to wait until you felt better. When we weren’t so wary of one another...”

Anna didn’t try to fight his embrace. The gesture was of a man claiming his woman. And she didn’t know what Kyle’s end objective was. “We never had wariness with one another until after you left for the Navy.”

“Yes, it started then, Anna.” Kyle gave her a pained look, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders, not trying to draw her any closer to him. Not trying to kiss her again. “I needed to see the world, angel. I felt tied down here in Montana. I didn’t want to be like my father and never have adventures outside the ranch.” His mouth drew into an unhappy slash as he looked above her head for a moment, trying to choose the right words. His gaze fell on hers. “Anna, this was never about you. You were the innocent victim in all of this. I didn’t mean to hurt you, angel. I swear to God, I didn’t. But I did and you can’t know how forever sorry I am about it.”

“Shh,” she whispered. “Don’t go there. There’s nothing to forgive, Kyle. I was too young to understand why you left. But later, I did. I realized you needed to see the world, experience life, live it. I got it. I really did.” Tears slipped from her eyes. She saw Kyle’s face crumple. He never could handle her tears.

He swept her into his arms, crushing her, his face buried against her hair. Giving a broken cry, Anna collapsed against him, her arms slipping around him, their hearts beating frantically against one another. He smelled of sweat, of male, of pine, and Anna dragged it into her nostrils, drinking Kyle into her in every possible way. She could feel the tension rise in him, the tightness of his shoulders, holding her close, as if to somehow protect her with his large body. The sensation was exquisite. Exactly what Anna needed.

Tears continued to stream down her face unchecked. She cried for the loss of two babies from her miscarriages; she cried for herself when Tom had beaten her; and she cried for the loss of Kyle she knew was coming. He was going to break her heart once more. A heart that had ever loved only him.

CHAPTER THREE

BY THE TIME they reached home with two Scotch pines in the back of the pickup truck, Anna had developed a blinding headache. Kyle worriedly glanced at her from time to time as he drove slowly toward the ranch. She’d become withdrawn and pale, tipping her head against the headrest. Her eyes were closed.

Had it been their blazing kiss, clinging to one another? As if to let go meant they’d never see one another again? Had her crying brought it on? God, he didn’t know what to do when Anna cried. Kyle felt so damned helpless. He was a SEAL. He fixed things. That was his job. But damned if he could fix a woman’s tears. And she’d wept after kissing him. Why?

The questions jammed in his throat like bitter brew, and Kyle knew this wasn’t the time to ask her anything. More than likely, Anna was upset over their unexpected kiss. They eventually had to face the end of this thirty-day emergency leave. He had to return to his SEAL platoon in Afghanistan.

When they arrived at the ranch, Jepson met them with two wranglers. Together, the three men took the trees into the buildings. Kyle had wanted to be with Anna, but she’d slipped out of the truck and gone straight into the house, telling him she was going to go lie down.

When Kyle had gotten the tree ready for decoration in the corner of the room, it was nearly 6:00 p.m. The winter night had closed in quickly, and he’d built a roaring fire that would keep the entire ranch house heated.

He kept his hearing focused in case Anna was awake. He wanted to be with her. Kyle knew if he could hold her, she would feel better. It had always been that way between them. Frustrated, he got rid of his hat and gloves. Hanging his damp jacket on a wooden peg near the front door, he rolled up the sleeves on his chambray shirt and went to work in the kitchen. Kyle made a point of fixing three meals a day for Anna. She was eating better, and he wanted her to regain that lost weight. Looking through the refrigerator and cupboards, he found enough items to make a hearty shepherd’s pie.

It was near 8:00 p.m. when Kyle heard the door to Anna’s room open. He stopped himself from going into the hall to meet her. Sensing she needed some space, Kyle instead set the oak table for dinner.

Anna appeared.

“Hey,” he called softly, setting down the flatware, “how are you feeling?” She looked wan, her eyes dark.

“Better,” she mumbled. Walking slowly, Anna used her hand against the black granite island to steady herself. Motioning wearily toward her head, she said in a quiet tone, “My concussion. The doctors said I could get terrible headaches out of the blue.” She grimaced. “They were right.”

“Have a seat,” Kyle urged, pulling out the chair for her. Anna was clearly unsteady, and he held out his hand toward her. She took it, her fingers feeling cool and clammy.

“Thanks.”

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Just water.”

“How about some aspirin?”

“No, docs said to stay away from them for now. The pain is pretty much gone, Kyle. I just feel bruised and beaten up, is all.”

Grimacing, Kyle got her a glass of water. “You look pretty pasty.”

Anna took the glass. “I feel pasty.”

Kyle watched her take slow sips of the water. She used both hands to hold the glass. “I had a SEAL buddy of mine get traumatic brain injury when an IED went off too close to him. He had a helluva lot of symptoms like you do. His headaches were so bad they made him cry.”

“Yes,” Anna said, lifting her eyes to him, “that’s about right. I feel for him. Is he better now?”

Shrugging, Kyle shoved on a pair of mitts and opened the oven door. “Chuck is stateside and still doing a lot of physical therapy. I don’t get to email him often because the team and I are usually out on patrols.”

He pulled out the shepherd’s pie and placed it on a metal trivet on the table. Anna lifted her head and sniffed the fragrant meal. There was an appreciative expression on her face.

“Smell good to you?” he asked. Opening the oven again, Kyle retrieved some French bread wrapped in foil. Earlier, he’d sliced and placed garlic salt with butter between each slice.

“Yes, it does.” Anna smiled wanly. “You’re a really good cook, do you know that?”

He grinned and opened the foil up and placed the sliced bread in front of her plate. “I’m no five-star chef, angel, but I’m happy if you eat, that’s all.”

Reaching for the large spoon, Anna placed some of the pie on her plate. Kyle had mashed potatoes, whipped them up and covered the top of the pie with them. The top was a light golden brown, cooked to perfection. She picked up Kyle’s plate and added three heaping scoops onto it. “Funny, but I am hungry. I shouldn’t be, but I am.”

Sitting down next to her, Kyle didn’t want to go into any heavy topics tonight with Anna. She ate quite a bit and he felt heartened. After dinner, he cleared away the dishes.

“I didn’t make dessert,” he said. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.” She turned and gazed at the tree. “It looks nice over there, Kyle. Did Jepson get the other tree into the wranglers’ bunkhouse?”

Bringing over coffee, he set a mug in front of her. “Yes. I asked him where the decorations for your tree were and he said he didn’t know.”

“They’re in my closet.” She wrapped her hands around the warm mug. “Do you remember every year how our parents would gather out here at the table? You’d pull out the colored construction paper? Cut it up for our paper loops? And I’d get out the glitter and glue gun?”

He smiled and nodded. “Yeah, lots of good times, good memories.”

“I still do the same thing today.” She gave him a fond look, watching his reaction.

“Seriously?”

“Sure. Why not? I’ve kept all our decorations over the years. And every year I hang them up. I make a bowl of fresh popcorn and string it, plus I make new paper chains.”

His face softened as he reconnected with those times from their mutual past.

“So that’s what we’ll do tomorrow? Make paper chains and string popcorn?”

“Yep, plus hang on the tree all the old ornaments we’ve made over the years.”

Shaking his head, he gave her a grin. “I didn’t know you kept up that family tradition.”

“I remember each of those decorations we made, Kyle. We’d sign the back of them. Our name, the date and year.”

“Yeah...”

“You’re giving me a funny look. There’s nothing wrong with keeping mementos from the past. Especially if they’re from good times.”

He pushed his fingers through his short black hair. “You’re right, Anna.” He leaned to one side, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. Opening it, he carefully pulled out a folded item. He pushed it toward her. “Check this out.” His eyes darkened.

Gently picking up the folded piece of white construction paper, she gasped. “Oh, my God! This is the angel I made when I was seven years old, Kyle!” The edges were torn and frayed. The white paper had faded to yellow. All the gold glitter that had once been on the wings and halo had long ago been rubbed off.

Anna remembered painstakingly making it. As she turned it over, her fingers trembled. Emotion roared through her as she saw her name scrawled on the back of it, the month and the year. Swallowing hard, she whispered, “You’ve kept this all this time?” She held his soft gray gaze.

“The last Christmas we had together? Seven years ago? When we were hanging them on the tree? Instead of hanging it up, I slipped it into my billfold.”

“But...why?” Anna stared down at the poor, tattered thing that had seen better days.

Shrugging, Kyle admitted, “I wanted to take a part of you with me, Anna. Maybe because it had your energy, your love in it... I don’t know. I always put it in a plastic Ziplock bag and tucked it into the pocket of my Kevlar vest when I went out on a patrol. I always believed you were my guardian angel and I wanted to take you with me into battle.”

“I—I didn’t know...” Her voice dropped to an aching whisper as she held it gently between her hands. Her lower lip trembled.

“One time? I forgot to put it into my vest. We went out on an op and I got shot in the right calf.”

“Oh, God, Kyle—”

He held up his hands. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m fine now. A hundred percent, okay? Wipe the worry off your face?”

Sitting back, Anna cradled the angel in her hands.

“You are always with me, Anna.” Kyle felt emotions rising swiftly in him. He forced himself to smile, but it was a poor attempt. What he wanted to do was hold her. Kiss the hell out of her again. See her smile once more. Hear that husky laugh of hers, which always sent riffles across his flesh.

Nodding, she carefully handed it back to him, their fingers briefly touching. “I’m glad to know this. Did you ever marry, Kyle?”

“No.” He saw her perplexed look. “Look, I knew in our business getting married wasn’t an option. And you were smart enough at twenty-two not to say yes to me even though I wanted to marry you, Anna. I kept seeing SEAL marriages fall apart, one after another. They have a ninety percent divorce rate, so I steered clear. I never got serious with a woman after you. I didn’t want to lead her on.” He had plenty of one-night stands, but Kyle wasn’t going there with Anna. All it would do was hurt her, and he’d hurt her enough already.

“That was good of you to tell me that,” she admitted quietly, sipping her coffee. “I knew I couldn’t handle you being in danger all the time, Kyle. It would have killed me.”

“You’re a big worrywart,” he teased gently. “I understand now. Back then, at twenty-two, I didn’t.”

“I hurt you badly by turning you down,” she choked. “I always felt horrible about it.”

Kyle reached out and captured her fingers. “It was the smartest thing you could have done, Anna. And like you said, we had to grow up and mature a little in order to know you did the right thing for both of us. I was kind of blind, deaf and dumb at that time.” Blindly in love with her. But he always had been.

“I still feel that way at times.”

“What? When you married Tom?”

Anna gave him a painful shrug and couldn’t meet his eyes. Unconsciously, she rubbed her nose. “He walked into my life six months after you proposed to me. Looking back on it, Kyle, I should have realized I was on the rebound from you.” She moved her finger around on the wooden table, drawing circles. “I wanted to settle down, have a family. I so desperately wanted to have what my parents had with me coming into their lives. We had been so happy as a family....”

Kyle frowned. “Anna, I don’t want you getting another headache because we’re getting into some serious talks here.”

“My headache is gone.” She managed a faint smile. “I wasn’t very good at picking the right man, Kyle. I thought I loved Tom.” Her voice trailed off. “I wanted kids so desperately. I got pregnant right away and then miscarried the second month. Tom blamed me.”

“For what?” Kyle demanded, confused. “You can’t make your body miscarry.”

“That’s what I told him. I got pregnant nine months later, and by the third month I miscarried again. I was devastated. I thought there was something wrong with me.” She gently touched her belly.

“And where was Tom in all of this?”

“Angry. That’s when he accidentally found all those letters and emails you’d written to me when you first joined the Navy. He accused me of loving you, instead. That because I loved you, I miscarried his children.”

“That’s a crock of bull,” Kyle ground out, flexing his fingers into a fist and then forcing himself to relax.

“Things sort of fell apart between us after that. It wasn’t a marriage anymore. Just two people living together, but unhappy.”

“Why didn’t you email me, Anna?”

She gave him a sad look. “And what good would that have done? If Tom had found me emailing you, he’d have—well—he was violent and I didn’t want to stir up trouble.”

Giving her a sharpened look, he asked, “What do you mean he was violent, Anna?”

She felt the tension rise between them. Kyle’s face had gone stony and still, his gray eyes narrowing on her. Opening her hand, she said, “He had a terrible temper. I didn’t know it when I first married him. I only found out about it...later.”

With a hiss, Kyle gripped her hand firmly. “Look at me.”

Anna held his intense stare. She felt his hand warm and gentle around her coolish one. “What?”

“Your nose, Anna. How did it get broken?”

The rasp in his voice was deadly and sent a shiver down through her. Unable to look away, she said, “Tom hit me one night.” She pulled her hand free of his, tucking it protectively in her lap. “I went to the police that night after it happened, Kyle. I pressed assault charges against him and they threw him in jail.” She touched her nose. “I was scared, but my parents and your parents backed me up. They surrounded me, protected me and helped me through that period of my life. My father fired Tom. He was sent to prison for a year. When he got out, he left for Texas. He signed the divorce papers and I was free.” She gave him an uneasy look. “It’s not something I’m proud of. I made so many mistakes.”

Kyle sat there wrestling with his rage over what had been done to Anna. “I wish... I wish you’d told me,” he managed tightly.

“And what could you have done, Kyle?” She searched his angry eyes, saw the fury in the line of his thinned mouth. “You were somewhere. God only knows where. We weren’t married. There was no legal tie between us, except that you’re my emergency contact. The SEALs wouldn’t have let you come home.” Her voice grew thin with weariness. “I managed to get through it. I had asked your parents to not email you anything about it because I knew it would upset you. And I didn’t want you distracted and maybe get you killed. That’s why I never said anything to you about it.”

Kyle looked away, his gut churning. His mother had emailed him about her divorce, but he didn’t want to bring it up right now. “God, Anna. I wish... I wish I’d been there.” And he didn’t finish the rest of the sentence that if he’d married her at twenty-two, this would never have happened. Because he loved her and would never hurt Anna. He’d never lift a hand to harm her. Ever.

* * *

“YOU START CUTTING up the construction paper for the paper chains,” Anna told Kyle the next evening. Today the sun had shown up after the blizzard, and Kyle had been out working all day until dusk with the wranglers, getting hay to the five thousand Herefords on the ranch. He’d come in just before dinner, taken a shower and changed clothes, and Anna made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.

He sat down, picking up the scissors after rolling up the cuffs on his red flannel shirt to his elbows. “And you’re going to string the popcorn, I hope?” He held up his hand, showing how large it was compared with hers.

Kyle had seen a marked change in Anna this morning at breakfast. It was as if getting to talk out her toxic marriage had somehow helped her. Tonight, her ginger hair was tied in a loose knot at the back of her head and she’d put some plastic mistletoe in it to look festive. He liked the gold velour sweater she wore with her jeans and bright red fluffy slippers with Frosty the Snowman on her feet. In the past, Kyle remembered Anna always dressed up for Christmas decoration night.

She wore pink lipstick and her cheeks were tinged nearly the same color. Even her eyes sparkled, although Kyle missed the gold flecks he used to see in their depths. Still, Anna was happier than he’d seen her since coming home. He knew how much Christmas meant to her. It meant the same to him.

“Yes, I’ll save you from a fate worse than death,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll string the popcorn. You just cut, glue and make the paper chains.”

He liked sitting across from Anna. She was quick and efficient with thread, needle and popcorn. Soon, she had ten-foot-long chains lying out in neat order across the length of the table. Kyle was clumsy in comparison, but he knew how to cut the colorful paper into half-inch strips and then use the glue gun to create the chains. Within an hour they had enough to encircle the tree.

There was Christmas music playing in the background and Kyle, because he was tall, got the job of stringing the lights from the top down on the Scotch pine. As soon as he had the tree swathed in lights, he helped Anna place the paper chains and then the popcorn strands around the tree.

Standing back, he smiled at her. “Looks pretty decent, doesn’t it?”

She grinned. “It looks beautiful. Come on, you can help bring out the decorations.” She caught his hand, gave it a quick squeeze and pulled him over to the coffee table. There was one large cardboard box sitting on it. Each year’s decorations were carefully placed on sturdy, thin plastic shelves to keep them in order by the year that they’d been created.

Sitting down, he worked with her to bring out the oldest ones first, which were going around the top of the tree. The paper decorations brought back a lot of warm memories, and as they moved from their six-year-old decorations through age ten, Kyle’s heart squeezed with a fierce love for Anna. Every year, there were memories, some good, some bad. They were all immortalized by two young children with color crayons, construction paper, glitter and a gold thread for hanging each of them on the tree.

Anna had carefully and painstakingly preserved each year’s worth of events with both their families. Kyle remembered all of them sitting at the oak table, each of them cutting and drawing one main event that had taken place in their life that year. When the family was finished, there was a paper story of meaningful events that had occurred that particular year before Christmas. Anna had put photos with them, as well. For Kyle, it was an unexpected treasure trove, and it once more served to tell him just how important, how central, Anna had always been in his life.

For the next three hours, they talked, reminisced and then hung the oldest decorations around the top of the tree first. Some were of people, a photo with a name, who had passed on. Kyle remembered getting a black pony named Bart at age seven, and he’d drawn and colored it and then hung it proudly on the tree. As they reached the bottom of the tree, Anna handed him new construction paper, glitter, scissors and an ink pen.

She sat down opposite him. “Now you need to think about what decorations from this past year you’d like to make.”

Kyle scowled. “What? An M-4 rifle? A Kevlar vest?”

“Whatever was important to you this year.”

“What are you going to create?” he wondered.

“I’m going to make an image of you,” she said, smiling softly. “You came home.”

His heart twinged. “Then, I’ll try to draw you. Not that I’m an artist,” he protested.

“Okay, that sounds good,” Anna murmured, giving him a wicked look. “Just get my hair and eye color right.”

“Oh, I think I can do at least that much,” he said, picking up some crayons. For the next twenty minutes, Kyle carefully drew Anna. Only this time, he drew a large pink heart behind her. He watched her quickly draw him, black hair and all, using some glitter for a leather belt around his waist and detailing his black combat boots on his feet.

She then drew a picture of Trevor Bates, their foreman who had died in the car wreck. Anna carefully cut Trevor’s face and shoulders from a photo she’d taken of him previously and glued it in place. Kyle saw moisture come to her eyes. She wiped them from time to time as she drew the man who had been like a second father to her. Anna was easily touched by everything and everyone. Kyle thought about the two babies she’d miscarried. He couldn’t imagine the pain and anguish she’d gone through twice. He tried not to think too much about it because it was obvious her husband had not offered support during her times of gut-wrenching loss and grief.

When Kyle studied the tree, he clearly saw all the events from age six through today. There were a lot of people, cows, dogs, horses and depictions of events that had affected the lives of those who lived on this century-old ranch. The last decoration with Kyle’s likeness was at age twenty-two when Anna had drawn him in his SEAL uniform. And for the babies she’d lost, she’d drawn two cherub angels, their name on each one. For Kyle, this was more like a Tree of Life than a Christmas tree. The Native Americans of old had their winter count buffalo hides on which they drew large events that had occurred to the tribe each year.

As he stood there, Anna close to him, Kyle saw the tree as much more than celebrating a holiday. It reflected both happy and sad moments for two close families. It was really about life. Every year, however, Anna had created a U.S. flag and hung it with the rest of the decorations when he’d left at twenty-two and never returned until now.

There were seven years where she made and hung that flag. Kyle wondered if it was Anna’s way of remembering him. He didn’t have the guts to ask her. Maybe it was a way for her to remember him but not cause her husband to get angry or jealous. Maybe someday he’d ask. But not tonight. He wanted this to be a happy event for both of them.

“Where will you go when you return to the SEALs?”

Rousing himself, he said, “Back to Afghanistan. My platoon has two more months of deployment over there before we return to Coronado.” Kyle felt his heart sink because Anna tucked her lower lip between her teeth for a moment. That was a sign Anna was worrying. “It’s safe,” he lied. “Things are quieting in that country because of the drawdown. Most of the military is going home.” Another lie. Hell, the black ops units were busier than ever now with increased patrols since most of the American forces were leaving. The black ops community was taking over the vacuum left by the military’s departure.

“Those families more than deserve their loved ones home,” Anna said fiercely under her breath, barely held emotion driving her words.

“Too many wars for too long,” Kyle agreed somberly.

“Will your team come home for good, then?”

He heard the hope, the terror, in her voice. “Some will.” That wasn’t a lie. When Kyle looked over at her, he could feel her devastation. Dammit. “Tell me what’s in your future, Anna. What are you going to be doing?” He wanted off this topic for many reasons.

“Just running the ranch. After I get my head healed, I intend to start looking for a new ranch foreman. It will be a long search and it will take a while. I’m hoping by spring, we’ll have hired someone new. We can’t operate without one.”

He studied her, watching the worry leave her eyes. Thank God, Anna was easily distracted. “What about your personal life?” And Kyle held his breath, waiting.

She smiled wryly. “What personal life? I’ll be here, running the ranch. I’m not about to go out and hook up with someone else. I’ve got a bad track record, Kyle.”

“I see.” He tried to keep the relief out of his tone.

“I’m taking accounting courses online,” she offered. “I need to really get into running the ranch from the budget end. Trevor always did that, but I need to be more hands-on, Kyle. I have to know where we’re at financially.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” he congratulated her.

Her eyes sparkled and she lifted up a dollar sign she’d made and glued green glitter on it. “See? Money. Accounting. All a part of my life this year and next.”

Kyle wanted to reach out and pull her up from the table and bring her into his arms. “I think you ought to draw some gold coins, too. For good luck for the next year.”

Tonight was so perfect. It was twenty days until Christmas. And he wanted Anna to enjoy this time because, obviously, she’d had a lot of death and losses in her life that he’d never known about. Until now.

She laughed. “Not a bad idea. I think I’ll do it.” She walked forward, leaning down and touching the decoration he’d made of her. “Why did you put a heart on it, Kyle?” She twisted a look up at him.

“Because you’ve always owned my heart, Anna.” His throat tightened. He wanted so badly to touch her. “You’re important to me,” he whispered thickly, reaching out, easing strands of hair away from her shoulder.

There was hope in her eyes. Wild hope. God, how he wanted to have their lives have a happy ending. He saw color come to her cheeks over his grazing contact. Anna was a woman now. She had grown up strong and beautiful. Her lips parted, as if asking him if he would kiss her once again.

Wordlessly, Kyle framed her face, leaned down, closed his eyes and felt Anna lift her chin, wanting this kiss as much as he did. Everything faded around him as he barely brushed her lips. She was so lush, warm and responsive beneath his slow exploration of her. She touched his shoulder tentatively and he slid his hand down her spine, pulling her against him. Kyle wanted to give her the choice whether she wanted this next step, this intimacy he craved so desperately with Anna.

She stepped forward, her breasts brushing lightly against his chest. He groaned as he felt her melt against him, felt her mouth open fully to his, eager, her tongue delicately touching his. Fire bolted down through Kyle, his breathing ragged as he curved his mouth powerfully against hers. He heard a soft sound in her throat, knew she liked what he was offering her. His mind dissolved, his body came online, his erection painful against the zipper of his jeans. She could turn him on in a heartbeat. Her hair swirled across his cheek as he cupped the back of her head, wanting deeper access to Anna.

Where was this going? Where did he want it to go? In the past Kyle would not have thought enough about what the woman wanted. But Anna held his heart. She always had, and right now as she sank fully against him, letting him know she wanted him, Kyle had to think. He couldn’t just take her to bed. He had to know, understand, what Anna expected from him.

Tearing his mouth from hers, Kyle held her close, felt her trembling as she slowly lifted her lashes. He saw flecks of gold in her dark green eyes, saw yearning in them, heard it in her broken breathing, the way her fingers dug into his shoulders.

“Anna,” he rasped, “tell me what you want.” He searched her face. When he had left her at twenty-two, they’d made love one last time. And Anna had broken down in tears afterward, clinging to him, never wanting to let him go. Kyle had never felt like such a bastard. He was going to leave her and he was hurting her as he held her, weeping, in his arms. He didn’t want a replay of that. Ruthlessly, he stared down at her, their hearts racing wildly against one another as the moment strung tautly between them.

“Love me?” she whispered, sliding her fingers across his stubbled jaw.

Closing his eyes, he heard the closeted grief in her voice. “You know I have to leave,” he told her harshly as he opened his eyes. Kyle had to warn her. “God, Anna, I’ve done nothing but hurt you over the years. I’ve left you crying....”

She drew in a deep breath, fearlessly holding his burning gaze. “I’m older now, Kyle. Hopefully a little more realistic.” Anna looked away for a moment, her hand moving restlessly across his shoulder. “I know you’re going away. I accept it.... I don’t like it, but I’m accepting it....”

Just as she was accepting of her miscarriages. Kyle winced inwardly, seeing the pain in the recesses of her eyes. God, he couldn’t do this. “I can’t... I don’t want to hurt you again, Anna.” He slid his fingers through her thick ginger hair, watching her eyes close, feeling her absorbing his touch, remembering him. Remembering what they’d shared before.

She smiled sadly. “Life is full of pain and joy, Kyle. We both know that now. You make my heart come alive. I’ve never felt so alive as when you’re near me. We have until the end of December. I want that time with you. I want to love you. Hold you. I want to sleep at your side every night.” Anna gave him a pleading look. “Don’t turn me away, Kyle. Let me have this much with you. It’s a gift. You’re a gift to me. I—I don’t want to waste one more minute of it.”

His heart crumbled. Just the anguish, the arousal and need of her turned Kyle inside out. When she leaned her head against his shoulder, brow against the column of his neck, drawing him forward against her with her women’s strength, something broke deep within him. What was he doing? Why the hell had he left the person he loved most in this world behind? What was propelling him to make that kind of decision?

The quietness surrounded them. The Christmas music embraced Kyle. The crackle and pop from the massive fireplace made the sense of homecoming even more intense and powerful within him. He was home. He had the woman he’d never stop loving in his arms, pleading with him to love her.

Dammit.

Anna shouldn’t have to ask. Shouldn’t have to beg. He leaned down, kissing her cheek, sliding his fingers across her nape. His voice was low and thick with emotion. “I love you, Anna. I’ve never stopped loving you....”