The Best of Blaze

No Limits

Katherine Garbera

Her Halloween Treat

Tiffany Reisz

Red Hot

Lisa Childs

Pleasing Her SEAL

Anne Marsh

Tempted in the City

Jo Leigh

Compromising Positions

Kate Hoffmann

www.millsandboon.co.uk

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Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

No Limits

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Her Halloween Treat

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Red Hot

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Pleasing Her SEAL

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Tempted in the City

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Compromising Positions

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

About the Author

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Copyright

No Limits

Katherine Garbera

Some cowboys are outta this world...

Astronaut Jason “Ace” McCoy tried to escape Cole’s Hill, Texas—and the memory of Molly Tanner’s dark eyes and strawberry-scented hair—among the stars. Now he and Molly have jointly inherited her father’s struggling ranch. And having failed his latest medical tests, Ace is on leave—maybe forever.

He’s determined to sort things out with the ranch and get back to Houston as soon as possible. What he isn’t counting on is that Molly’s only gotten more beautiful over the years...and she still wants him. The passion between them is hotter than rocket fuel—and just as dangerous. He can’t promise anything as long as there’s a chance to go on another mission. But even in orbit, this attraction has no rules...and no limits.

Don’t think. Act...

Jason’s skin was hot, his muscles hard under her touch, and damn if he didn’t smell good.

He arched one eyebrow at Molly but didn’t make another move. She felt the unspoken dare between them. Was she going to do this or back away as she had earlier?

“Hell.”

His curse lingered in the air around them as his mouth came down on hers. For a mouth that had always looked so strong and tough, it was soft against hers. He took the kiss slowly as if he had all the time in the world.

They had this night.

He tasted of whiskey and temptation. Two things she knew she should resist right now but was unable to.

She was tired of denying herself Jason McCoy.

She’d wanted him for longer than she could remember...and at last it seemed he was hers for the taking.

Dear Reader,

Hello! Welcome to the first book in my new series, Space Cowboys. I was born just before man walked on the moon, and my mom has an 8mm film of me crawling on the floor while in the background the television is tuned to that historic moon landing. From a very early age I wanted to be an astronaut—it seemed fun. Unfortunately for me you have to be really good at science and advanced math...something I’m not.

However, I am good at reading and researching, and when a conversation with my editor about how ranching is a major industry in parts of Florida (including the part where I grew up) turned to a “what if,” Space Cowboys was born. I got to combine two things that I love a lot, space—and the vast universe—and ranching. The series is set in Texas instead of Florida because all training at NASA takes place in Texas.

I had a lot of fun writing this book. I lived in Texas for five wonderful years and revisiting Texas through this story was like going home. I also love Jason and Molly, both strong-willed people who never take the easy path. They always stand by what they think is right, even if that means letting go of each other.

I hope you enjoy the first book in the Space Cowboys series!

Happy reading,

Katherine

USA TODAY bestselling author KATHERINE GARBERA is a two-time MAGGIE® Award winner who has written more than seventy books. A Florida native who grew up to travel the globe, Katherine now makes her home in the Midlands of the UK with her husband, two children and a very spoiled miniature dachshund. Visit Katherine on the web at katherinegarbera.com, or catch up with her on Facebook and Twitter.

This book is dedicated to my darling husband, Rob Elser. Thanks for sharing your love of science and the universe with me and helping to sow the seeds of this series.

Acknowledgments

Thanks to my editor Laura Barth for helping to turn an offhand comment about astronauts and the Florida ranching community into a viable series idea.

1

THE DOOR OPENED. Ace McCoy couldn’t see the figure standing on the porch due to distance and the shadow cast by the setting sun, but his gut told him it was her. And if he was a betting man, he’d wager she was more beautiful than she’d been at sixteen when he’d walked away without a backward glance.

He walked slowly toward the house; her dad had once said that the only way to move forward was past fear. And, though he wasn’t truly afraid of Molly Tanner, she was the one woman who had haunted him all of his life. Seeing her again after thirteen years made his gut clench.

“Jason—I mean ‘Ace’—McCoy,” she said, as if his call sign left a bad taste in her mouth. “Thought you’d never set foot on this ranch again.”

He was right. She’d matured into her features. The mouth that had once seemed too big was now full and sensuous. Her eyes were still as rich as dark chocolate and her brows were thick and serious. Her nose was pert and some would say cute. But he’d been on the receiving end of her temper, so cute wasn’t a word he’d use to describe her.

Her breasts were fuller than he remembered, her waist smaller, more nipped in. And her hips—ah, hell—those hips were curvy, beckoning a man to squeeze them and pull her closer. He still remembered the feel of her in his arms, the taste of her mouth, even though they’d only shared one forbidden kiss.

“I’m back because of your dad,” he said, taking off his cowboy hat as he stepped up onto the wooden porch that extended across the front of the house. There were two large clay pots on either side of the stairs and four wooden rocking chairs beckoned. But he knew better than to drop his guard. Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

In Houston he felt like a man in control, a man in charge of his destiny and his life. But a problem with the recovery of his bone density, revealed in his last post-flight medical exam, had him grounded indefinitely. And his mentor—the closest thing he had to a father—had left him half of this ranch. Returning to Cole’s Hill, Texas, made him feel as if he was stepping into the past, a past he preferred to leave behind.

The boy he’d been. The trouble that had dogged him. The stolen kiss that had cost him this, the only home he’d ever really had.

“He’s dead.”

“I know. I...”

“Don’t make excuses,” she said. “He always hoped you’d come back, and I guess he found the one way to get you here.”

“Dying is extreme even for him.”

“Yeah, it was,” she said, tears sparkling in her eyes as she turned away and dropped her chin to her chest. “It was so unexpected.”

He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, needing to offer comfort and maybe find some himself. Mick had been a young sixty-five, and Ace was still shocked that an all-terrain-vehicle accident had claimed his mentor’s life.

Molly wiped her eyes with her hand and then stepped back from him. Her voice broke as she started to speak, so she cleared her throat and tried again. “He named you in his will.”

“I was surprised. He and I made our peace,” he said. “But the terms of his will caught me off guard.”

“Me, too,” she said. “I’m still processing the fact that he’s gone.”

“I would have come back for the funeral, but I was on the space station.” He was a commander with NASA who had dreams of being one of the first astronauts to set out on the long-term missions necessary to prepare for space travel to Mars. Upon returning from space this time, he’d undergone intensive rehabilitation in Houston to regain the strength and muscle astronauts lose from spending so much time in microgravity. For a while, he’d had trouble walking and couldn’t drive, so his trip to the ranch had been postponed until now.

“I know,” she said. “Dad was proud of you...of what you accomplished. Come on in.”

“You sure about that?” he asked.

At the moment he’d rather be pulling Gs during a launch, fighting the urge to throw up, than standing here. He’d always been more comfortable observing Earth than being on it. Nothing new there.

“Yes. It’s your place, too,” she said. She turned on her heel, disappearing into the house, leaving a trail of strawberry-scented air in her wake and more than a little regret. To be fair, the regret could be coming from him.

He stood there for a long minute, looking at the wooden frame, remembering the boy he’d been at fourteen when he’d first arrived at the ranch. He’d been surly, stand-offish, with a black eye and a busted lip. Molly had greeted him that day, too. She’d stood there with her long chestnut braids, watching him. He’d made some smart-ass comment and she’d put him in his place and walked away.

From that moment on he’d been following her. Even leaving the ranch, going into the military and becoming an astronaut had been about following her. The only man who could catch Molly was one who was aiming for the stars. He wanted to prove that he was more than the juvenile delinquent she’d met all those years ago. The boy-man who wasn’t good enough to kiss her or touch her.

“You coming or not, space cowboy?”

He shook off the mantle of the past, opening the screen door to follow her. It snapped shut behind him and his boots echoed as he walked down the hall to the kitchen. He paused when he noticed a framed photo on the wall. He put his hand next to it, staring at the image of himself in uniform with Mick standing so proudly next to him.

Yeah, the regret was all his.

He should have come back sooner, years ago when Mick had asked. But he’d been afraid of running into Molly. Afraid he’d ask more from her than a kiss. He’d known once he went down that road with her there’d be no coming back. And even as a teen he’d realized there was no real future for him on the ranch.

NASA hadn’t just given him a career; they’d given him a life he was proud of, a life he loved, and he didn’t want to risk being tied to the ground by emotions or expectations.

Ace wasn’t too sure who he was if he wasn’t in space. He felt that uncertainty more than ever now, with three months’ leave stretching in front of him. His commander wanted him to take a break before his follow-up medical exam and he was due for some time off, anyway. He was on a strict exercise regimen to regain bone density. Being outside the Earth’s gravitational field had an adverse effect on the human body and the doctors were monitoring Ace’s recovery closely to ensure astronauts sent on long-term missions wouldn’t suffer lasting damage.

“Jason?” she asked.

It felt strange to hear her say his name. He didn’t know who Jason was anymore. That mixed-up delinquent from the time before he’d joined the military and NASA? The boy whose mother had left him to fend for himself? “Call me Ace.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll try, but you’ve always been Jason to me,” she said. “I don’t remember you being this slow, though.”

“Maybe you don’t know everything about me.”

“Oh, that’s one thing I’m sure of.”

“You pissed at me for something?” he asked as he followed her down the hall and into the brightly lit kitchen.

“What would I have to be pissed about?” she asked. “We haven’t seen each other since I was sixteen.”

“Maybe that’s it exactly.”

She didn’t say a word, just stretched to open the cabinet over the sink. The hem of her blouse hitched up revealing the small of her back and her raspberry birthmark. She cursed and braced her hand on the countertop as she reached for the bottle of Maker’s Mark that was just out of reach.

Ace came up behind her, putting his hand on the small of her back. Unable to resist, he rubbed his finger over the birthmark as he reached over her head and snagged the bottle.

She made a startled noise and turned.

He stared down into those big chocolate-brown eyes and knew that all the years and all the distance he’d put between them didn’t matter. He still wanted her just as fiercely as he always had. He put the bottle on the counter behind her.

Her eyelids dropped halfway and a strand of hair fell across her face. He gently brushed it back behind her ear. With one hand on the small of her back and the other on her face, he leaned down and felt the exhalation of her minty breath against his lips.

Their lips touched for the barest of seconds, and then her eyes flew open.

“Well, howdy! I thought you weren’t ever coming back this way, Ace.”

He stepped back, keeping one hand on Molly, and turned to greet Rina Holmes, the housekeeper of the Bar T Ranch.

“Sorry for interrupting. I didn’t realize you’d already started the homecoming,” Rina said.

“There is no homecoming going on here, Rina. Jas—Ace helped me reach Dad’s whiskey. We are going to have a toast to him. You’re just in time to join us,” Molly said, tugging down the hem of her blouse as she moved away from him.

“Looked like a helluva lot more than that to me,” Rina said.

The housekeeper was in her fifties but looked more like forty. She wore her reddish-blond hair hanging around her shoulders. She had an easy smile and a curvy figure, and she’d been on the ranch since before Molly was born. She pulled Jason into a big bear hug.

“We’ve missed you, Ace.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” he said. He watched Molly over Rina’s shoulder and noticed her hands tremble the tiniest bit as she poured three glasses of whiskey.

“Mick and me knew you were NASA’s shining star. Boy, you sure surprised us,” Rina said. “Never expected the punky juvenile to turn into an American hero.”

“Dad did,” Molly said. “Dad always believed Ace was going to do big things.”

“He did,” Rina agreed, turning and picking up one of the glasses.

“To Mick,” Rina said, raising her glass.

“To Mick,” Ace added.

“To Dad,” Molly said and she took a deep swallow of the whiskey. He couldn’t take his eyes off her mouth. He wanted to finish the kiss they’d barely started. Wanted that and a lot more. And he’d always gone after what he wanted.

He noticed that Molly still watched him with an intense stare whenever Rina wasn’t looking, but as they drank more whiskey and shared stories about Mick, the tension eased a little. And for a moment he had a glimpse of a different future. One that wasn’t written in the stars but was tied to the land. And that made him uncomfortable. Because it seemed more real than it ever had before.

* * *

MOLLY COULDN’T SLEEP. She knew where the blame lay. Just down the hall in the bedroom he’d occupied as a teen. During dinner with the ranch foreman, Jeb, and the hands, Jason had looked uncomfortable. He’d sat there answering their questions about what it was like to be an astronaut, but when everyone had headed to the bunkhouse he’d seemed lost.

Jason “Ace” McCoy.

It would have been nice if he’d gotten soft in the years since she’d last seen him. Maybe lost some of his thick dark hair or developed a potbelly. But she knew that was a foolish wish. NASA didn’t choose men who let themselves go to be part of exclusive missions. She had kept tabs on him, even if she hadn’t read every article about the hotshot Jason had become, the way her father always had.

She wondered sometimes if her dad had known about her crush on Jason. Probably. She hadn’t exactly been subtle that last summer he’d been at the Bar T.

She’d been too young to really understand the raw sexuality that was so much a part of his nature when she’d been sixteen, but at twenty-nine—now she understood it so much better. The only thing standing between them long ago had been his fear that her father wouldn’t approve. And she’d been too unsure of herself to be clear with Jason about what she wanted.

She slipped out of bed and pulled on her dad’s flannel robe. It still smelled of his aftershave and it was the closest thing she had to getting a hug from him. She wrapped her arms around herself for a long minute before she tied the sash as she opened the door.

The old hinges creaked as she did so. The ranch needed an infusion of cash. Everything was old and tired.

Including her?

Damn.

She really hoped not, but tonight, with Jason being back and Dad being gone, she was feeling...too much. A little down, a little wild, a little angry.

The night was warm and the full moon lit her path. The upstairs bedrooms ran along a corridor that was lined with floor-to-ceiling glass panes affording a view of the acres and acres of pasture that her ancestors had claimed and kept as their own. Each generation added their own stamp to their home, which had started as a big farm house, but had evolved into something unique with modern touches. She stood there for a moment, just looking at the land. She loved Texas. And this land was in her blood. She knew she’d do whatever she had to to keep the ranch, even if it meant swallowing her pride and getting along with Jason.

She wanted to confront him. Had since the moment he’d arrived. She’d sent him a card for his birthday every year for the first five years after he left, but she’d never heard anything back. She was more than a little angry. And it was the safest emotion for her to land on at the moment.

She had a gaping sense of loss from her father’s death and she knew some of the anger coursing through her was because she hadn’t spent enough quality time with him before he died. Sure, they’d done chores together and eaten with Jeb and the other ranch hands and sat in silence, but she’d never really gotten to know him. She had thought she’d have decades left to hear his stories and ask him questions.

Jason’s door was closed.

She reminded herself that he was no longer the boy she’d known so well...yet not well enough.

The too-brief kiss they’d shared in the kitchen had whetted her appetite, reawakened a desire that had never really gone away. He would leave again. To be fair, she’d probably want him to go. She knew she didn’t share power easily and the thought of having to make decisions about the ranch with him chafed.

“Molly?”

She glanced up and saw him standing in front of his bedroom. No shirt to cover that muscled chest of his, only a pair of low-slung jeans that clung to his hip bones. His hair was rumpled as if he’d run his fingers through it a few times. Hers tingled as she thought of touching him.

“I am pissed at you,” she said at last.

He rubbed his chest, the thin layer of hair there and the scar he’d earned trying to climb out his window when he’d first come to live with them. The Bar T Ranch had left its mark on Jason as surely as it had on her.

“I left so I wouldn’t hurt your relationship with your dad,” he said.

“That’s BS and you know it. You left because you were afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Yes. Of me. Of getting tied to this ranch and never seeing the world outside its borders.”

He shrugged and took a step forward. She shivered. He was all masculine grace. He moved as if he owned the world, and given that he’d seen it from orbit maybe he did.

She wanted to be in control. But she couldn’t help wondering if giving in to lust would finally answer the question that had niggled at her for thirteen long years. Would he be the lover she’d always dreamed of? Sixteen-year-old Molly had been sure of it. Twenty-nine-year-old Molly had been disappointed by men before. But she wanted this, wanted him.

Always had.

“So...”

“You certainly aren’t any more eloquent than you used to be,” she said, closing the gap between them. Acting without thinking.

That was the key. Don’t think. She had been thinking way too much since her father died and she’d seen Jason’s name on the will. She’d been questioning why her father, whom she’d thought she’d known so well, had named him in the will and not just her. Did he think she needed a man’s help?

Stop.

Don’t think.

Act.

She put her hands on Jason’s shoulders. His skin was hot, hard under her touch, and damn he smelled good. She went up on her tiptoes, hung there balanced only by her hands on his body.

He arched one eyebrow at her but didn’t make another move. She felt the unspoken dare between them. Was she going to do this or back away as she had in the kitchen?

“Ah, hell.”

Jason’s words lingered in the air around them as his mouth came down on hers. For a mouth that had always looked so strong and tough, it was soft against hers. He took the kiss slowly as if he had all the time in the world.

They had this night.

Nothing was complicated in this empty house with the moon shining down on them. She held tightly on to his shoulders as he parted his lips and she felt the first thrust of his tongue in her mouth.

He tasted of whiskey and temptation. Two things she knew she should resist right now but was unable to.

She was tired of denying herself. Jason McCoy. She’d wanted him for longer than she could remember and at last it seemed he was hers for the taking.

No more regrets.

He settled his hands on her hips, drawing her closer, and the silk nightie she wore under the robe did nothing to protect her from the intense heat of his embrace. He thrust his tongue deeper into her mouth and she felt a fire start in her soul and fan outward.

She pulled back, looking up into his eyes. They were heavy-lidded, half-closed. Slowly he opened them.

2

MOLLY STARED UP into eyes the color of the morning sky, trying not to lose herself. She knew why she was out here in the hallway after midnight. But it was too much to believe that he’d wandered into the hall at the same moment, also unable to sleep.

“Why are you actually here?” she asked. Her voice sounded husky, needy. Too feminine. She might want to pretend Jason didn’t affect her, but that would be a lie. Her father hadn’t held with lying so neither would she.

“To see the land, to figure things out with you,” he said, but he’d turned away. He put his hands on his hips and looked out the big window at the inky-black sky beyond. She wondered if, when he looked at the night sky, it made him long to be back among the stars.

She had questions about that part of his life, but mostly, right now, she needed to not turn something meaningless into a big deal. Her dad had died. She felt tears burning her eyes. She hoped one day she’d be able to think about him without this gut-wrenching pain, but she wasn’t there yet. Would she ever be?

“Hey, you all right?”

She shook her head. “Just—”

Her voice, heavy with tears, sounded deep and almost unintelligible.

“It’s okay. I miss Mick, too,” he said.

Miss him. She ached with his loss. She still wasn’t ready to be on her own with the ranch or in life. She needed her father’s advice. Now more than ever.

More tears fell and all of a sudden she was sobbing. She had heard it said that grief was the photo negative of love, but she wasn’t ready to accept it. It was just a huge hole in her that could never be filled.

Jason cursed and then pulled her into his arms. He didn’t do anything else. Just held her as sobs racked her body and her emotions fell in a gush of tears. She had no idea how much time had passed until she was hiccupping softly and the tears had almost dried up.

“Sorry for that,” she said, taking a step backward.

“I’m not,” he admitted. He wiped the trail of moisture off her face and then sighed. “I’m also here because...I have a few health concerns after spending a year on the International Space Station and my commander wants me to take a break.”

“Oh. I appreciate your honesty. So what’s wrong with your health?”

“Nothing that some time in Earth’s gravity shouldn’t fix. Everyone is betting on that. But I’m mainly at the ranch for the reasons I gave you before—because we need to talk, to figure out what we are going to do with this place,” he said.

“And kissing me was...what was that?” she asked. Oh, God, had she once again thrown herself at Jason? What was it about him that made her abandon common sense?

Aside from his rock-hard body, chiseled jaw and brilliant blue eyes. Those were things any woman would find appealing. But she didn’t normally throw herself at men just because they were attractive.

“That was us. I guess it’s always been there between us, but we never really took the time to pursue it,” he said.

She arched one eyebrow at him. She felt energy and anger coursing through her, but she knew focusing on these feelings was just an easy way to pretend she wasn’t still missing her dad. “Pursue it?”

He shrugged. One of those gestures men make when they know better than to answer a woman.

“You just admitted you are leaving as soon as you get the all clear from NASA,” she said. “We aren’t pursuing anything.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” he said, moving closer to her. She felt the heat of his body and found it very hard to look away from his naked chest. Besides the scar on his left side, he had a tattoo that read To boldly go.

He took another step closer and she put her hand up. Kissing him had been foolish. She was a practical woman. She always had been. And now, with Dad gone, she really needed to think rationally. The ranch was in financial trouble, as it had been for years, and she needed to focus on that.

Not wonder what it would feel like to run her finger over Jason’s tattoo.

“What are you thinking?” he asked. His voice was low and it brushed over her senses like a warm breeze. She wanted to close her eyes and tip her face up, but she didn’t. She’d had her kiss. And it was hotter than she had ever expected. But now she had to go back to being Molly.

“Nothing.”

Nothing. Really? She was intelligent and her remarks had been known to leave men speechless, but with Jason she felt like she was sixteen-year-old Molly in the throes of her crush.

“Well, nothing I want to talk about with you,” she admitted. “I’m not myself tonight. And I want to be like Scarlett and put my troubles off for another day.”

“I’m not myself, either,” he admitted. “Who is Scarlett?”

“Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind. She’s famous for saying ‘Tomorrow is another day.’”

“Well, she’s right,” he said. “But for tonight we have two choices.”

“Only two?”

“Well, two that won’t get us into trouble,” he said.

There was a touch of mischief in his expression and she realized it had been too long since anyone had teased her. Everyone had been treating her as if she was fragile since her dad had died.

“I’m listening.”

“We can get that bottle of Maker’s Mark out of the cabinet and drink until it’s empty,” he said.

“Or?”

“Or we can saddle up the horses and chase the moon as it moves across the sky,” he said. “I recall that used to be one of your favorite things to do.”

She swallowed hard. It still was.

How could a man she hadn’t seen in thirteen years be the one person who knew her that well?

“Ride,” she said.

“Good choice. Meet you at the stables in ten?”

She nodded and walked away from him. She didn’t think as she changed into her favorite pair of jeans and her cowboy boots. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and walked out into the night.

* * *

THE STABLES HADN’T changed since he’d first visited them as a teenager. The barn was big and cavernous, the scent of hay and sweet corn welcoming him as he stepped inside. There was a narrow aisle between the horses’ stalls. Mick’s horse, Rowdy—named after a TV character from a Western Mick had watched in his youth—had always had the first stall.

As a teen, Ace hadn’t really appreciated being sent from Houston to some ranch out in the middle of nowhere. It had felt like the punishment it was meant to be. And he’d been just bratty and angsty enough to act like an ass for the first three months he’d been at the Bar T Ranch. But Mick kept giving him chores and allowed him the distance he needed to wake up and figure out that he’d made a mess of his life and that he was the only one who could fix it.

He walked past all of the hands’ horses before he came to the few horses Mitch kept for visitors. He saddled one with the name Carl on its stall door. Then he found Molly’s horse in the second stall. Molly had always used the stall next to her father’s. And while it housed a different horse than he remembered, the wood-burned sign she’d made when she was fifteen still hung outside the door.

He heard Molly’s footsteps behind him and turned to face her. He regretted leaving his bedroom when he’d heard her in the hall. She was a complication. Someone he’d never figured out how to deal with. Even from his moody, teenaged perspective there had been something about Molly Tanner that had made him want her.

“I saddled your horse,” he said.

“Thanks.” She took Thunder’s reins and led him to the mounting block.

Ace watched the way she moved. The long easy strides that made her hips sway with each step. The denim fabric of her jeans as it pulled tight around her thighs when she mounted the horse. She settled into the saddle and then glanced over her shoulder at him. Her chestnut hair was pulled up in a high ponytail and he couldn’t take his eyes off the long sweep of her neck.

“You coming, Jason?”

He nodded. NASA trusted him with millions of dollars’ worth of equipment and paid him for his opinion and his thoughts, but at this moment he knew he wasn’t worth a dime. He was speechless watching this cowgirl in her element. She was at home here. Even if something happened and God forbid she lost the ranch, Molly would know who she was.

He’d never felt fully himself until he’d been above the Earth, the blue planet so beautiful at a distance and the rest of the universe spread out before him. If he was permanently grounded because of his health...who would he be? It was his goal to be part of the Cronus test missions, but that might be out of reach now.

Cronus wasn’t an acronym for anything. All of the NASA missions were named for Greek gods and Cronus had been chosen for this program because he’d fallen from the sky and started a civilization on Earth, according to mythology. Many were hoping the Cronus missions and the Mars manned missions would do the same for that planet.

Before Ace had gone up to the ISS for a year, Dennis Lock, Deputy Program Manager for the Cronus mission, and Dr. Lorelei Tomlin, the team medic, had designed a fitness routine to get him ready for the long-term mission program and to see if they could counteract the expected impact of spending a year outside the Earth’s gravitational field.

He’d had very little spinal-fluid loss, which was the result they had been hoping for, and he’d recovered relatively quickly from the standard loss in muscle mass, but the bone-density loss he’d suffered—and the raised calcium levels in his blood that came with it—continued to be a concern. At his medical exam Doc Tomlin had been as upset as Ace was by the unusually slow rate of improvement. He’d taken a leave to see if being away from Johnson Space Center and a different, off-site exercise regimen would help.

Osteopenia had the power to end the part of his career he loved most—actually being up in space. Something he wasn’t ready for. He was determined to beat this any way he could.

He mounted Carl, and Molly touched her heels to her horse’s sides and made a clicking sound, leading the way out of the barn.

The night was cool, not cold, and the sky was clear. Early May in south Texas wasn’t really hot yet, at least at night. For a minute he forgot about riding and just stared at the sky. His heart took a punch and he felt a sense of fear and loss. He had to be cleared for more missions.

“You okay?” she asked.

He thought seeing the stars would remind him of who he was, but it just emphasized what was at stake.

“Yeah,” he lied.

She loped along the fields past the grazing land where the cattle were kept, and he stopped thinking and just followed her.

Her ponytail flew out behind her head as she rode and it took all of his skill to keep up with her. Eventually he realized that Molly wasn’t riding with him. She was racing away from something.

Her dad.

He stopped trying to keep up and let her ride as hard and fast as she could. Even though he knew there was no running away from the ghosts that were carried in one’s soul.

Molly pulled up a few hundred feet in front of him and tipped her head back to the sky. He couldn’t help noticing again how long and slender her neck was. Everything about her body was sleek and elegant.

When he pulled up next to her, he noticed that her eyes were wide and wet.

“I forgot how much I love to ride at night,” she said.

“Me, too. It’s exhilarating.”

“It is. Thank you for this. I know you came here to figure out what to do with the ranch, not to deal with Mick’s hot mess of a daughter.”

“You’re not a hot mess,” he said. “I came back for you, too. We both have to decide what to do about this complicated legacy Mick left us.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “But not tonight.”

“Definitely not,” he agreed. “Where to now?”

She tipped her head back toward the stars again and he did the same. His breath caught as his eyes skimmed the sky finding what he was looking for. The International Space Station. Knowing where to look made it easy for him to spot it. He watched it moving slowly in orbit and thought of all the time he’d spent up there. He’d clocked more time than most of the other guys on his team.

“What are you looking at?”

“The space station,” he said.

“Where is it?”

He lifted his arm and pointed. “It’s in a slow moving orbit.”

“What’s it like up there?”

He shrugged. “Better men than me could probably put it into words. I just know up there...I’m free.”

“Like me when I’m riding,” she said, quietly.

He didn’t respond, just looked up at the sky, realizing he was going to do whatever he had to in order to get mission-ready again. He wasn’t done with that life. Not yet.

* * *

THEY GOT OFF their horses and left them to graze as they continued, walking. This was a side to Jason she didn’t know. In fact, there was a lot to the man she had no idea about. He’d been a boy when he left to go into the military and started on his path to becoming an astronaut. And though they’d lived in the same house for a few years, they’d never had deep conversations.

Tonight she thought she finally had a glimpse of the real man.

“What’s going on with you and your career?” she asked. “You said there was a medical issue.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Which means you don’t think I will understand it or you don’t want to talk about it.”

“You’re one of the smartest women I’ve ever known,” he said.

She smiled. “That’s because I whipped your butt at AP calculus back in the day.”

“I’m a little better at it now,” he admitted.

“And I never have to use it. Ironic, isn’t it?”

“Life is complicated,” he said. “Way more so than we ever could have guessed in high school.”

“True. So you don’t want to talk about your health and I can respect that, but I need to know if you are in danger. We’re a good forty-five minutes from the nearest hospital.”

“I’m okay,” he said. “It’s not anything that’s going to kill me while I’m here.”

Health concerns.

He’d said it like that because he didn’t want to talk about it and make it seem more real. Giving it a name would mean he was fighting something serious. Instead of, say, a cold or a muscle strain. Those were things anyone could beat. This? He wasn’t sure. But being purposely vague would just make it seem more mysterious to her and he doubted she’d leave it alone.

“I have some symptoms of spaceflight osteopenia.”

“I don’t know what that is,” Molly said. “But it sounds like osteoporosis. Does it have something to do with your bones?”

“Yes. In microgravity, astronauts don’t put weight on our back or leg muscles, and the longer we’re up there the more they start to weaken and get smaller.”

“Have you lost height?” she asked.

He shrugged. “When I first returned to Earth I was a bit taller, but now I’m back to normal. They are more concerned with my raised calcium levels and loss of bone density.”

“What can you do?” she asked.

“I’m doing it—or I will be, at least. Working on the ranch, lifting, putting my body to good use, all of these things are going to help,” he said with more than a bit of hope and bravado. “I’m supposed to be tested again in three months. I did an advanced regimen during my time on the ISS and if Doctor Tomlin’s theories are correct I should improve more quickly than others have in the past. Part of my mission on the ISS was for her to test the effects of prolonged exposure to space. She has me trying different exercises and a special diet to decrease my recovery time.”

Molly nodded. He’d shared his medical information but hadn’t really told her what that meant to him.

“How long are you going to stay?” she asked. She needed to know. She needed to make plans. That was what she should be doing instead of walking in the moonlight with Jason McCoy. But here she was.

“It’s three months to my reevaluation. That should give us some time to figure out what to do with the ranch.”

“I don’t want to sell it,” she said. “And I can’t buy you out. Not now.”

“Oh. I was really hoping to sell my half to you. My life isn’t here at the Bar T.”

“Dad borrowed some money from you, so you must know the ranch isn’t as profitable as it once was,” she said.

“I could just sign over my half to you. NASA pays me well enough, and by rights the ranch should be yours.”

That idea didn’t sit right with her. After all, he’d already put money into the ranch and never got a cent back. “No. Thank you for the offer, but Dad wanted you to have this for a reason. He wouldn’t have felt right not paying you back, at least. And even though I don’t understand or appreciate why he made us full partners in this ranch, I won’t go against his wishes. Maybe you will find that you like the ranching life.” Every once in a while the breeze blew in the right direction and the scent of his aftershave wafted on the wind.

“I don’t think I will.” He stared up at the stars again, looking as if he would fly up to them now if he could and leave everything earthbound behind.

“There’s a lot more to you than I remember,” he said. “Though, to be fair, I don’t remember much except that you could outride me.”

“Fair enough,” she said. “All I remember was that I really wanted to kiss you and you were determined not to get involved with me.”

He laughed.

She watched him a second and then smiled. It was the first time since her dad’s death that she’d felt...happy.

He noticed her watching him and raised one eyebrow at her.

“You made me smile.”

“I’m glad,” he said. “I like your smile.”

“You do?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She shook her head. “How many women have fallen for your ‘aw shucks’ routine?”

“A fair few,” he admitted with a sheepish smile. “Not everyone is impressed with my being an astronaut and having stayed on the ISS.”

“Really?” she asked. It gave her the shivers to think of the things he’d done and seen. “I am.”

“You are?”

“I’ve only left the state of Texas once and that was just to go to Louisiana to pick up a bull Dad had purchased. So you having left the planet is a big deal,” she said, wondering who would disagree.

He stopped walking and turned to look at her. His features weren’t clear in the darkness, but she felt his attention on her.

She licked her lips and tried to step back because she was a hot mess, as she’d said earlier. And Jason was feeling uncertain and worried about his future. This was the worst possible time to be kissing him. And more—she wanted more.

She knew that.

She’d been alone for too long. It had been over eighteen months since she’d ended her last relationship and most of the time she was just fine getting her romance fix on television or in books. But tonight, standing out here in the moonlight with him, she craved...something more.

She never gave in to impulses. That was a lie—she had tonight. She’d left her room, gone into the hallway. He’d kissed her. And when their lips had met...she’d changed.

Something fundamental had shifted inside of her and she was honest enough to admit she didn’t know how to react to it. She should never have kissed Jason. She should have left him in the past, in those teenage-girl dreams.

But he was here and that kiss was fresh in her mind. Her lips tingled and she realized that being this close to him stirred something inside of her that she usually did a good job of ignoring. Stirred the passion and the desire that she preferred to think she was the master of. That she had been able to control until Jason.

“Jason...”

“Yes?”

“Why did you stop walking?” she asked.

“Because I wanted to show you this,” he said. He drew her into his arms and she started to lift her face to his, her eyes slowly closing. But he turned her so that he stood behind her and put his hand under her chin, tipping her head back toward the sky.

She was on fire with need. But he treated her like a friend.

They were friends.

Just friends.

She repeated that over and over again as he pointed to the stars. Was the passion she felt one-sided?

3

ACE KEPT HIS touch light on her chin as he tipped her head up to the sky. He wanted more. Hell, she was more addicting than his first taste of flying Mach 1 had been. But he wasn’t back for good and she deserved more than a summer fling.

He had always loved the stars and the sky but, more than that, the freedom they had represented. He knew life had been different for Molly. She’d had her dad and when her mom had passed she’d had Rina. She’d grown up in a house filled with love and support. He hadn’t. He’d wanted to escape and run as far away from Texas as he could get.

Ironic that he’d ended up finding his home in Houston. He’d thought he’d have to leave that city far behind to find peace, but he’d been wrong. It wasn’t the first thing he’d been wrong about and he doubted very much it would be the last.

“What am I looking at?” she asked. Her voice was soft like the gentle breeze stirring around them and her hair smelled of summer strawberries. He remembered the way it had looked falling in disheveled waves around her shoulders and was tempted to remove the elastic holding it in place now.

“Venus,” he said. “Venus takes only a fraction of one Earth year—225 days—to orbit the sun once, so we see it frequently in the night sky. Sometimes Jupiter and Mars line up with it—it’s rare, but you can see all three in a triangle in the sky.”

“Now?”

“No. Usually closer to sunrise,” he said.

“What’s it like to see the sunrise from orbit?”

He wasn’t sure he could put it into words. He wasn’t one of those poetic guys who turned their adventures on the space station into books. Despite his time with NASA, he was still more of a cowboy, he guessed, even if he didn’t want to be tied to the Earth.

“It’s awesome,” he said at last.

She chuckled.

“Awesome?”

“Yeah, got a problem with that?”

“Not at all,” she said. “Good to know that you haven’t changed all that much.”

For a moment he didn’t follow and then he remembered when he’d first come to the ranch. All he’d said to everything was awesome in a sarcastic tone.

“Forgot about that. I don’t use the word much anymore. Must be something about the Bar T that brings it out in me.”

“Must be,” she said, stepping aside. “I guess we should think about heading back.”

“If you do, you’ll miss the best part.”

“What’s the best part?” she asked, turning in his arms. She had her head tipped back and their eyes met in the inky darkness. It was hard to read the expression in hers and that made him feel a bit freer. She wouldn’t be able to read the expression in his eyes, either. He didn’t want her to see how much she affected him.

He traced one finger down the line of her neck. “You are so delicate-looking in the moonlight. Like the Carina Nebula.”

“I’ve never heard of it,” she said. Her words were soft, and he had the feeling she was waiting for something.

Him?

“It’s not as well-known as many of the other nebulas. It’s found in the southern sky.”

“South like southern hemisphere?”

“Yeah. Remember how I wasn’t sure where Montana was for the longest time?” he asked. He’d been so green when he’d lived here. When he was surviving on the streets, the only things that had mattered were food and staying away from the authorities. He’d never done well in school until he’d come to the Bar T and hadn’t had those worries anymore.

“I do. But you always knew the night sky,” she said. “Was it because of... I don’t know much about your family. Dad always respected the privacy of the guys who came here. Said if you wanted me to know your story, you’d tell me.”

“Nothing to tell. I knew the sky because I read a book when I was younger, before things got rough, about sailors who navigated using the stars. It just sort of stuck.”

“Probably like me and Misty of Chincoteague. If I hadn’t already loved horses, that book made me.”

He didn’t dwell on the past, especially his childhood. There was nothing but pain and humiliation there and the future had always been where he’d seen himself. But he realized now how much of the man he was today had been shaped by those events. He was a maverick, even in the Cronus program. Always pushing boundaries and going on missions that others thought twice about. It was why his boss was determined that he get back in top physical condition as quickly as possible.

He was realistic enough to know he probably wouldn’t be part of the Mars mission team since the first one wouldn’t likely happen for at least another twenty years. The test missions, though. The long-term journeys and a possible moon base. Those were all programs he was interested in.

But Cronus was close to his dream mission. They’d be taking up the components for the first base between Earth and Mars. They’d establish the way station and each mission would continue to test human endurance in space.

“Like that,” he agreed. But he wasn’t thinking about their conversation anymore. He was thinking about Molly. And how she’d always been just out of his reach. He had been afraid he wasn’t good enough for her as a teenager, and he realized now that he’d also been running from anything that hinted at a normal life. Still was.

But in the moonlight, with the horses neighing behind them, it was easy to see that none of that mattered. He cupped the back of her head and lowered his mouth to hers. Slowly, in case she wanted to pull back. But she didn’t.

She rose on her tiptoes and put her hands on his shoulders. She held him loosely for balance and he felt the brush of her breath over his lips a second before their mouths met. He moved his lips over hers and closed his eyes.

He knew he couldn’t stay, that this could never be more than a few moonlight kisses, but somehow that seemed perfect to him.

* * *

THROWING CAUTION TO the wind wasn’t her MO, but this was Jason. And she knew no matter what happened with his health, he wouldn’t stay here on the Bar T Ranch for long. He had always been destined for bigger things.

She sighed and almost let her thoughts derail her, but then she shook her head. Shook herself. Not tonight. Like she’d promised herself earlier this evening when she left her bed...no regrets.

Pushing her fingers into his hair, cupping his scalp, she tilted her head to the side to deepen the kiss. Now that they had been out here riding and talking, he tasted different to her. More like adventure and the promise of things she’d never be brave enough to take for herself.

He tasted like a man who was leaving, the same way he had that long-ago summer when she’d wanted to be sophisticated enough to seduce him into staying.

She pulled back.

“What is it?”

How could she tell him that suddenly she felt too silly, too foolish for him? She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. “Nothing.”

“Dammit, Molly. It’s just a kiss,” he said, his Texas drawl stronger than it had been earlier.

It couldn’t lead anywhere—that was the problem. Opportunities for real, lasting romance were lacking in this town and maybe she was tired of it. There weren’t a lot of men in Cole’s Hill that she would consider dating. Mainly because they were either ranchers like herself and busy with their own land, or she’d dated them in high school, or they weren’t her type. And she was here with Jason...Ace. It was hard to think of him as Ace.

“You’d think that I could just let go and have some mindless fun, but even now, with nothing left to lose, I can’t do it.”

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. Just held her close. She wasn’t crying like she had been earlier. That flood of tears thankfully wasn’t near the surface. But the loneliness she’d felt lately, as she’d come to accept that her dad was truly gone, was back.

She turned her head to the side, rested her cheek against his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was strong. Steady.

“Just once I want to be like one of those brash women on TV who takes what she wants and smiles as she resumes her normal life.”

“Aw, Molly,” Jason said, tipping her back and dropping a sweet, butterfly kiss on the end of her nose. “That’s not you.”

“More’s the pity,” she said.

He rubbed his thumb over her jawbone. His hands were firm but not rough. Not like hers, calloused and hardened from years of working with cattle and the land. As he touched her a slow heat began to burn deep inside. A shiver went from her jaw to her neck, then over her shoulder and down her arm. Her lips parted.

As Jason stared down at her, she wished she could read the expression in his eyes. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and she didn’t want to do something...what? Dumb? Too late. It had been too late since the moment her father’s attorney had revealed that she and Jason were jointly inheriting the Bar T. It had been too late since she’d realized he would be coming back and something feminine and needy had awoken inside of her.

She stared up at him, his eyes silvery pools in the dim light, and realized that she was a coward. All this wanting to be someone else wasn’t true to her. She was hiding because she was afraid.

She was twenty-nine. Well past the age when she’d thought she’d let fear drive her. She felt the wash of his breath over her and she closed her eyes—somehow everything seemed easier with her eyes closed. Then she felt his thumb rub over her bottom lip.

She sighed again.

He pulled her more fully against him, her breasts resting on his chest and their hips lightly touching. She felt the brush of his lips over hers. The intimacy of it heightened because the only senses she used at this moment were taste and touch. His body heat surrounded her. His arms were strong as he held her close.

His lips were warm and firm, and as he opened them over hers she let go and just experienced Jason. The way his tongue brushed hers slowly and then pulled back. The way he kept one hand gently on her shoulder, his finger stroking the pulse at the curve where her neck and shoulder met. The way he let the kiss develop between them with no rush or agenda.

She felt safe.

She felt like they could stand there all night rediscovering each other and the passion she’d been too young to really understand all those years ago.

She rubbed her tongue over his and he moaned a little, shifting her stance. He put one of his hands on her back and drew her even closer so that she was nestled in the cradle of his legs. He cupped her butt, caressing it through her jeans, and she shivered as sensation washed through her.

She put her hands on his hips, holding him as much to steady herself as to feel him. He was solid, muscled. And for the first time since he’d set foot back on the Bar T, she acknowledged that she wanted him, needed him to stay right here with her. But she knew he never would.

* * *

MOLLY FELT SO GOOD. He didn’t have a lot of time in his life for romance. He dated—well, if one-night stands and vacation flings could be called dating—but he had dreams that no woman could compete with. That had been true for longer than he could remember.

But Molly tempted him. She wasn’t casual—no matter how much he wanted to pretend otherwise. And he was tied to her and to this land until they could come up with a solution that would satisfy them both.

Then there was his health. He glanced up at the starry sky again and then cursed and closed his eyes. There was no place to run from this.

And at the moment Molly was the only thing that felt real to him.

He put his hands on her face. Felt the softness of her skin. The scent of her perfume surrounded him and his eyes drifted closed as he let go. Really let go of everything.

Her lips were soft under his, pliant. Her tongue rubbed over his and he sucked it gently into his mouth. One of his hands left her head and moved down her back, his fingers testing the resilience of her hips.

He groaned at the way her curves fit against him. It was as if she was custom-made for him the way his space suit was. He shifted back, lifting her off her feet.

She clung to him as she tipped her head and her tongue plunged deeper into his mouth. He hardened in a rush, rocking his hips forward until his erection was nestled at the top of her thighs.

Her legs parted and she wrapped them around his hips. He staggered backward and then realized there was nothing to lean against. He carefully knelt down and lowered Molly to the ground beneath him. He braced one hand on the soft grass and shifted so that he straddled her.

She turned her head to the side.

“My ponytail is uncomfortable,” she said.

He reached beneath her head and pulled out the elastic. Burying his fingers in her thick hair, he fanned it out around her head.

He stretched out next to her on the grass and drew her up on her side so that they faced each other.

“There’s an easier way to do this, but I wanted to see your hair down,” he said.

“Why?” she asked, her voice was quiet, shy almost.

Not the Molly who could tame a wild horse or quell an ornery ranch hand with just a glance. This was the woman he’d always wondered about. The one who sometimes wandered into his dreams before he sent her on her way.

“It’s beautiful.” He rubbed a few strands between his thumb and forefinger.

“No. It’s nothing special. Just sort of average.”

In her words he heard the implicit belief that she was average. And that shook him because she’d always been anything but.

“You know you’re not average,” he said.

“I think for this area of the country I am.”

“Nah, you stand out, Molly Tanner. You always have. Your eyes are like dark chocolate—a man could lose himself staring into those eyes—and your hair...it’s so silky and soft and I just want to bury my face in and breathe in the sweet strawberry scent.”

She stared at him. He wondered where the words were coming from, as well. Was he saying this because of the moonlight? Because for the first time in his entire life he had no idea what he was doing next and getting lost in Molly seemed like as good a path as any?

God, he really hoped not.

She watched him with eyes that asked too many questions he couldn’t answer, so he took her mouth in a kiss that was deep and filled with passion. That left no room for thinking—for either of them.

He pulled her into the curve of his body, felt her drape her thigh over his top leg and he nestled his throbbing cock against the center of her body.

The night deepened around them and still they lay there in the grass, kissing and caressing until his horse wandered over and nudged him in the back. He sat up and Molly sat up next to him.

It was too soon to take this any further. They were business partners...maybe friends...and sex wasn’t the best idea to keep things uncomplicated.

“I guess we should be heading back,” she said.

“Yeah. We don’t want to be out here when the hands start riding the fence and moving the cattle.”

“Definitely not.”

He helped her to her feet and they both brushed themselves off. She bit her lower lip and looked over at him. Questions, he saw them again in her eyes.

“Thank you for riding with me,” he said to divert her.

She was stubborn, and for a minute he didn’t think it had worked. But in the end she just nodded. “No problem.”

They rode back to the barn in silence and both of them stabled their horses without saying a word. He wasn’t as practiced as Molly and when he looked up from putting away his tack she was gone.

Gone.

It was probably for the best. But he already missed her.

4

MOLLY WASN’T HAVING the best day. Jason had left a message with Jeb that he was going to camp out on the land that evening and that he’d meet her at the lawyer’s office the next day. A horse had reared when she’d been trying to saddle it and its hoof had come down hard on her booted foot. She was pretty sure she had a deep bruise and hoped there were no broken bones.

So when she rounded the house and saw the big late-model Ford Bronco sitting in the circular drive she almost turned around and walked back to the barn.

The last person she wanted to talk to this afternoon was Wil Abernathy.

But the driver’s-side door opened before she could leave and she wouldn’t give him the impression she was running away.

“Afternoon, Molly,” Wil said as she came closer.

Wil was five years older than her and about as tall as Jason’s six-foot frame. He’d spent his life on his family’s ranch and the years had been good to him. Their derricks were still pulling oil from the ground and the Abernathys ran one of the largest and most successful stud farms and insemination programs in the country.

Wil was okay. A little too slick for her taste. The girls she’d gone to school with in Cole’s Hill had always said Wil, with his thick blond hair and blue eyes, looked like Brad Pitt. He had on his dress jeans—she could tell because they were dark blue denim and not faded at all—hand-tooled boots and a Stetson. All the Abernathy men wore Stetsons.

“Afternoon, Wil. What can I do for you?”

“I’m here to sweeten the offer I made your father,” he said. “Maybe we could go inside and discuss it?”

“I’m fine right here.”

“Damn. You are just as stubborn as your dad was,” he said. “I was sorry to hear about his death.”

“Thank you. Thank you, also, for the flowers you sent. I noticed you and your sister at the funeral service, as well.”

“Mick was a good guy and, despite the fact that he didn’t get along with my dad, I never had any problems with him.”

“He was a good guy,” Molly agreed. “I’m not selling.”

“You haven’t heard my proposal yet,” Wil said.

“Okay. Tell me,” she said. Sweat was dripping down the back of her neck and she felt every inch the working cowgirl talking to Wil. If she hadn’t been so determined to keep him out of her house, she could be inside drinking iced tea in the air-conditioning. But her father had always said no Abernathy would set foot in the house...and she was honoring that.

“I want to lease some of your land for grazing,” he said. “Damn, it’s hot. Want to sit in my Bronco if we can’t go inside?”

She shook her head. “Do you know why Dad was so insistent on keeping you and your kin out of the house?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but I think it has something to do with your mom,” Wil said. “My pops just said that the Tanners were sore winners.”

It was another story she’d never know since she hadn’t thought to ask her dad about it, really push him to tell her what had happened. But she was hot and tired and Wil was here offering her an olive branch.

“Why don’t you have a seat on the east-facing porch? There are ceiling fans and we get a nice breeze from the creek. I’ll get us something cold to drink.”

“Sounds good,” Wil said.

Molly heard him walking behind her as they went up the steps and she gestured to the right so he knew where to go. “Do you mind if I change out of these clothes?”

“Take your time. I scheduled the entire afternoon to be out here.”

“Thank you.”

She opened the front door and as she closed it behind her she tipped her head back and let the air-conditioning sweep over her. “Rina!”

“Yeah?”

“Wil is on the east porch. Will you bring him some iced tea?”

Rina poked her head out of the kitchen and looked down the hall at her. “Abernathy?”

“Yes. Be nice. He’s got an offer to lease some land. It might be the cash influx we need to bail ourselves out of this mess.”

“What about Ace?” Rina said, wiping her hands on her apron as she walked toward Molly.

“What about him?” Molly asked. “He’s not here and Wil is. I’m going to take the fastest shower in history and be right back down.”

Rina patted her shoulder as Molly sort of limped by her. “Okay, sunshine. I’ll keep him entertained until you come back down.”

“Thanks,” Molly said, walking past Rina up the stairs. She felt that urge to cry again. Not because of the pain or the situation but because her dad wasn’t here. She wanted to know what had happened between him and Wil’s father. Was she betraying him by even agreeing to listen to Wil’s proposal?

But he wasn’t there. She showered off the day and felt better for it. She pulled on a denim skirt and a sleeveless top then put on her flip-flops, inspecting the bruise on the top of her left foot. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, she went out to the porch where Wil waited for her.

He had a slice of lemon icebox pie and a half-empty glass of iced tea next to him on the table.

“Okay, Abernathy, tell me about this idea of yours,” she said as she sat down.

He leaned back in the rocking chair. “My sister wants to raise Scottish Highland cattle. It’s a small herd and I’d like to keep them separate from our stock and the bulls. Leasing the grazing rights to your land—the section that borders our ranch—would allow me to do that.”

He told her more about his plan and what he would pay. She took his proposal, which he’d thoughtfully typed up for her, and told him she’d get back to him with an answer in a few days. The deposit he offered wouldn’t be enough to clear their debt, but it would put a nice dent in it.

It was an option she should definitely consider. Actually, it was probably the best option she had right now.

She couldn’t help but think that she might have liked Wil if there wasn’t a family feud between them. He was a nice guy. Solid. The kind of man who knew what ranch life demanded and was happy to live it.

Not like Jason. Ace, she reminded herself.

Molly put the file in her office. She kept looking out the window, hoping to see Jason come walking up, but he wasn’t going to. He’d made a point of putting distance between them after the intimacy of last night. She knew she had to give up the idea that he was going to ride to the rescue. She was on her own.

* * *

DINNER HAD BEEN a loud affair with the hands all giving their opinions on what she should do with the ranch. It was going to affect all of them and she thought they should know that the ranch was in financial trouble. Even though she wanted to ensure their jobs, there would have to be changes. Jeb was the quietest man she knew and he’d just sat there listening to all the ideas. Most of the men weren’t too keen on a dude ranch and if Molly was being totally honest, she wasn’t, either. She didn’t want to have to cater to people on vacation.

“I’m just out of ideas,” she said at last.

“Something will come to you,” Jeb said. “It always does. In the meantime, I’m going to put some of the hands on land clearing. The acres down at the edge of our property haven’t been touched for a while and we should get them in shape for whatever you decide to do.”

“Thanks, Jeb.”

He nodded.

“Also, Dad left the ranch to both me and Jason McCoy. So he might be around over the next few months as we are figuring out what to do,” she said. No use pretending the decision was just hers, even if it did feel that way. She’d called Rupert’s office earlier and he’d made it clear that the will stipulated she and Jason had to make any decisions for selling or changing the purpose of the ranch land together.

“He’s a little rusty, but I think he might make a decent hand eventually,” one of them said.

Guffaws of laughter spread around the table.

“He might. He lived here as a teenager,” Molly said, once the laughter died down. “We used to run a last-chance program for troubled boys. They came from Houston mainly, but we got some from Dallas. Dad and Jeb were in charge.”

“Given how much hell Mick and I raised together, we figured we’d be good examples for straightening those boys out,” Jeb said.

“You were,” Rina added. “All of them have gone on to do good things.”

“Is that a possibility?” Jeb asked after the hands had finished eating and left to do their evening chores. “Do you want to take boys in again?”

“No. I’m not like Dad. I don’t have the strength to do that,” she said, getting to her feet and helping Rina clear the dishes.

“Fair enough. Just let me know what you want me to do,” Jeb said.

“I will. Thanks.”

“Girl, you know you’re like a daughter to me. You don’t have to thank me for doing what family does for each other,” Jeb said, giving her a quick hug on his way out the door.

Family.

The word had always been unspoken in the house. Aside from her and her dad, there wasn’t a blood bond between any of the other residents of the Bar T Ranch, but they’d always felt like a family. Even Jason, when he had lived there.

“What’s up?” Rina asked.

“Nothing.”

“Liar,” Rina said. “I’ve got a bottle of pinot noir that my sister sent for my birthday. Meet me on the deck.”

“Rina—”

“I’m not taking no for an answer. If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. But you’ve been alone enough today and you still haven’t found the answers you’re searching for.”

“You’re right.”

“I know,” Rina said with a wink.

Molly just shook her head and walked out onto the deck that she and her dad had weatherproofed at the beginning of last summer. It was slightly raised, looking down over the large kidney-shaped pool. She walked to the sturdy pine railing and stood there looking out over the land.

The Tanners had been given these 760 acres in a land grant from the Spanish King back in the 1800s. For as far as she could see, the land was hers. They’d run cattle from the beginning and had found oil in the ’60s. They’d had several wells that had produced a nice income during her grandparents’ lifetime, but by the time Molly was born they weren’t producing as much. Her kingdom wasn’t what it used to be. Well, hers and Jason’s. She liked the view. She liked that she could see the pastures where the cattle were kept and the barn where the horses were stabled. She liked that beyond the pastures and buildings was land that hadn’t been developed or used for anything other than ranching and drilling.

Her heart ached at the thought of all she was facing. She needed her dad back, just for a few minutes so she could ask him what the hell he’d been thinking when he’d left half of the ranch to Jason. Why? She knew he had to have some kind of motive, but for the life of her it kept eluding her. The value of the land was so far beyond the debt they owed Jason.

The sun started to sink a little lower toward the horizon and the automatic outdoor lights kicked on as Rina walked out with the wine, a couple of glasses and a cheese tray. Hidden bug zappers under the deck kept the mosquitos at bay. She walked over to the seating area where two lounge chairs sat next to a low side table.

“Thanks for suggesting this,” Molly said as she took her first sip.

“I needed it, too.”

She was just now realizing she hadn’t been the best friend to Rina recently. She’d been too caught up in trying to keep moving so she didn’t break down. She reached across the expanse and squeezed her friend’s arm. “I’m sorry I haven’t been chatty lately.”

“It’s all right. You needed time to get used to things. So did I, but I was just feeling a little lonely. We haven’t had a girls’ night in a while and I figured if I was feeling it you definitely had to be, too.”

“I am. There are too many men here,” Molly said. “You know what I mean?”

“I don’t think that’s the problem. I think you’re more bothered by the one man who wasn’t at dinner.”

“I am,” she said, taking another sip of her wine.

“What happened between you two last night?”

“Nothing. Just a kiss.”

“A kiss. Want to talk about it?”

“No,” she said, fidgeting with the glass. “Maybe. It was nothing. But then it felt like something more. I sound like an idiot.”

“Men do that,” she said.

“Really? I’ve never known a man to do this to me.”

“Some men affect us like that,” Rina said. “The ones who change us.”

“Who affected you that way?” Molly asked, not wanting to believe that Jason could change her. She liked who she was.

“Never you mind,” Rina said. “I met him before I came out here to live with you. And his life kept him in Houston.”

“You could go to Houston, you know?”

“We’re both of us too stubborn to change,” Rina said.

Molly hoped she wasn’t like that, but she had a feeling she was.

They didn’t talk about men anymore that night. Just sipped their wine and watched the sunset. But Jason was on her mind and she suspected that Rina was thinking of the man in Houston. She realized that relationships were never easy and the thought brought her no comfort at all.

* * *

MOLLY STOPPED BY Jammin’ Java for a mocha latte the next morning. It was busy...well, as busy as a coffeehouse in a small town could be. She saw all the usual customers and they nodded and called out hellos to her.

Maybe it was the fact that Jason had awakened something in her when he’d kissed her—forgotten memories of a life she might have had—or perhaps it was because her father had died, but she had a sense that her life was never going to be more than this. That whenever she came into town for the next fifty years, it would play out just the same.

That thought used to bring her ease. Reminded her that she knew who she was and where she belonged. But that kiss with Jason under the stars two nights ago had stirred something inside of her. Something she wasn’t too sure would ever go back to sleep.

Lacey Duvall looked up from behind the counter and smiled when Molly walked up.

“Mocha latte?”

“Yeah.”

“I heard Jason McCoy is back in town,” Lacey said in a questioning sort of way. The two of them had dated a couple of times in high school. Maybe she was hoping to see him again.

“He inherited half of the Bar T. So he’s here to take care of that,” Molly said. “Then he’s going back to Houston.”

“You okay with that?” Lacey asked, turning to the back counter and grabbing Molly’s coffee from her teenaged assistant. “He’s been gone a dog’s age and you haven’t heard from him before now, have you?”

Lacey was a gossip, though not in a malicious way. Molly supposed it would happen to anyone who worked in a small-town coffee shop.

“It was a surprise,” Molly admitted. She smiled and nodded at the kid as she took her coffee from Lacey. “But of course I’m going to honor Dad’s wishes.”

The bell on the coffeehouse door pinged and Lacey turned to greet her next customer with a smile.

“Jason McCoy, I wondered if you were going to stop by,” Lacey said.

Molly stepped over to the bar to add a packet of sugar to her latte and then stirred it slowly. Way slower than was called for.

“I heard this place had the best coffee in town and had to check it out,” Jason said. When he’d left thirteen years ago it hadn’t yet opened.

“It’s the only coffee in town so I guess you are right,” Lacey said. “What’ll it be?”

“Hey, Lacey. Good to see you again. Filtered coffee, please. The biggest cup you have.”

Molly glanced over her shoulder at him. She wanted to play it cool. It was probably no big deal to him to make out with her, but it was a big deal to her. She realized just how limiting her life had been staying here. If she’d gone out and seen the world...maybe she wouldn’t be so fascinated by his damned blue eyes and firm mouth.

He stepped closer and looked down at her, a furrow wrinkling his brow.

“What?”

“I asked how you were,” he said.

“Good. I’d like to discuss a few ideas about the ranch. Maybe we can do that before we head over to see Rupert.”

“Okay. You want to talk here or in the park? It’s a nice day and I saw an empty bench on my way in.”

“Park sounds good to me,” she said. That way the town gossips—and, let’s face it, in a town this size everyone knew each other’s business—couldn’t hear what they were saying. Hell, it didn’t matter what they said—people were always going to talk. Many of them probably remembered how she’d followed Jason around town the summer before he left. How she’d tried wearing makeup and short skirts to catch his attention...

He called out a good-bye to Lacey. Molly noticed Lacey had her cell phone in her hand, furiously texting something...probably about them. She was embarrassed and a little bit...well...excited that she was being linked to Jason. And that was the problem right there.

He wanted her to buy him out or have her accept his offer to turn over his half of the ranch so he could leave. Go back to Houston. And the truth was she wanted him to stay.

They walked over to the park bench. She sat down on one end. Jason stood there for a minute then stooped to put his coffee on the ground by her foot. He stayed there so that they were at eye level and she looked at him.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to see what’s going on in your pretty head,” he said.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Try to be charming,” she said. “Sit down and let’s talk about the ranch. That’s all we have between us.”

“We have a hell of a lot more than that.”

“Passion?” she asked, remembering the other night. “Dad always said passion leads to trouble.”

“And he was right. But not this time,” Jason said, putting his hand on her leg. “Are you ticked at me again?”

She shook her head. “Just unsure and kind of mad at myself. It was one thing to have a crush on you way back then, but as a woman I should know better.”

“Better than what?”

“Than to fall for you,” she said. She took a sip of her coffee and looked away from him. Across the street she saw a group of elementary school students all walking in a row and she knew they were heading to the library because it was Tuesday and that’s what they did on Tuesday. They had probably been doing it since the library opened back in 1915.

“Hell,” he said. “You want to do this here?”

“You’re the one who started it,” she said. She hated it, but he brought out her competitive side. Why did she need to one-up him all the time? she wondered. She probably needed to stop reacting to everything he said. But she wasn’t sure she could.

“I am. Well, fine, I needed to get out of the house for the night because you made me want to knock on your bedroom door. I thought, hey, if I am grounded from NASA, maybe this life wouldn’t be too bad, and you know what?” he asked, pausing.

“What?” she asked after the pause lengthened.

“That wasn’t right. I was using you as an excuse to settle. And you deserve better from me than that.”

Settling...it made sense, but it still hurt. She closed her eyes. Cole’s Hill was where he went to escape from his problems. She didn’t want to be an escape for him. She wanted him in her life because he wanted to be there. Not because he felt trapped and out of choices.

“Fair enough. You gave me time to think as well,” she said.

“Yeah, what about?”

“That I don’t want to be a fling for you. Your summer romance before you head back to NASA.”

“You think I’ll be going back?”

She nodded. “I’ve never seen you lose anything you really wanted.” She stood and carefully stepped around him. “I’ll meet you over at Rupert’s.”

5

JASON WATCHED MOLLY walk away and let her go. He had been honest, but the fact was their situation was complicated and he hadn’t done either one of them any favors by leaving the house for the night because she’d gotten too close. He’d justified it to himself, but then he was good at doing that. He spent a lot of time alone with his thoughts. Training to be an astronaut, spending as many days orbiting Earth as he had—it gave a man time to think.

Time to know himself better than most would be comfortable with. But he’d always been one to keep his thoughts to himself and he’d done that as he’d watched her walk away from the bench. As he’d realized the ranch had a pull on his soul that he’d never known was there.

It wasn’t as strong as the call to explore the universe. But the call was there all the same. And he’d felt a tearing deep inside where he’d always been so sure that nothing could rock him.

A need. A desire for Molly and something that only she could offer him. He’d kept his distance last night because she called to him.

No other woman would tempt him to give up his place in NASA—to give up his dream—but there was a part of him that knew she did.

And he couldn’t justify sleeping with her...having that summer affair she was so afraid of. But he knew if they were near each other it would happen.

They wanted each other. Those kinds of sparks wouldn’t be denied for long. His will would weaken and then...

Stop.

He had to stop trying to control everything. To know every outcome. He was trying to manage Molly as if she was a mission, but he couldn’t be objective. He didn’t think there was a man alive who could be objective about a pair of hips and legs that looked that good. He grabbed his coffee and followed her.

He put his hand on her shoulder and she turned, her long chestnut hair brushing his skin. Her hair was soft, like the cashmere lining his leather gloves. And he wanted to grab one of the tendrils and wrap it around his finger, but he didn’t.

“I don’t want to screw up,” he said and felt better for it. “I want to make sure I don’t hurt either of us.”

“Life’s not like that,” she said at last. “I appreciate it, but you can’t do that.”

“I know. I think that’s why I’ve spent so much time up there.” He looked at the sky. “Up there I am never distracted from the mission. I always know what to do...but with you it’s never been like that.”

“For me, neither. Listen, I know the timing is wrong for this...” She gestured at the two of them and then shrugged.

He laughed. “I have no idea what to call it, either.”

“Flames,” she said. “It feels like a fire inside of me and I have no idea how to put it out.”

“Fire is dangerous for an astronaut,” he said.

“For a cowgirl, too,” she said. “So let’s be smart.”

“I want to,” he admitted, but then he touched her neck, just ran his finger along the column of her throat, and a jolt went up his arm as she shivered.

A light pink flush spread from the skin showing above the scooped top of her dress up her neck, and her lips parted as she went stock-still.

“We can’t be smart with this between us,” he said, softly. He leaned in, putting his forehead on hers and looked into those beautiful brown eyes. “Can we?”

She closed her eyes and licked her lips. “I don’t know. I can’t think when you touch me.”

“I have an idea,” he said, stepping back and dropping his hand. He had a hard time thinking of anything other than the way she’d felt in his arms the other night. The way she had tasted. Had a woman ever tasted as good as Molly? He couldn’t think of one.

“Yeah?”

“We just see what happens. Spend our days together on the ranch and see if this is more than just lust. Neither one of us are casual people. We aren’t going to just fall into bed because it feels good.”

“I’m not too sure about that,” she said in a wry tone that made him smile.

Damn.

He liked her.

That was why he needed to make sure he didn’t hurt her. He could do this. They were friends and now co-owners of a ranch—one that would require plenty of work if they wanted to get it back on solid financial footing. He couldn’t screw this up.

He had to imagine he was definitely going back to NASA, though. He couldn’t let Molly be his contingency plan, his life, if he was denied a place on the Cronus program. He knew that. He wanted to believe he wouldn’t use Molly in that way. But a part of him, the part that had been a loser before he came to the Bar T Ranch as a teenager, wasn’t too sure. That part of him wanted to just take what he needed.

* * *

“THIS ISN’T YOUR average will and you could probably contest it and get a judge to set aside Mick’s wishes. But, Molly, he was your dad and, Jason, I know you two were close. This is more about respecting his wishes than upholding the law. If you take it to court, it’ll be a long time before either of you can do anything with the ranch.”

Molly crossed her legs. She’d worn a sleeveless dress that fell loosely over her body, accentuating the strength in her arms and her long legs. Her boots were hand-tooled and had turquoise accents in the leatherwork. She’d pulled the top of her hair back but left the rest to hang around her shoulders.

Maybe that was why he’d been doing all that soul baring in the middle of town—he was thinking with his boner instead of his head.

“Okay. Do we need to do anything to move forward?” Molly asked. “Legally?”

“You both have to sign off on any move to improve the ranch or change its purpose. That includes selling off or leasing part of it. I have the paperwork all ready to go. You can fill it in and both sign it and I’ll witness it.”

“We haven’t had a chance to discuss what we want to do,” Ace said.

Running the Bar T wasn’t part of his plans for the future. He figured he’d recuperate here, do his exercise regimen, maybe stoke the flames of the fire between himself and Molly and leave after his three months’ leave. But this was...complicated.

“I figured as much. If you want to, you can use my conference room to discuss plans. If it’s going to take longer than a few hours, we can schedule another day for you to come back.”

“I’d like to get this sorted out today,” Molly said, leaning forward to take the papers Rupert held out to them. “The ranch can’t wait any longer. We need to make some decisions to ensure the financial future of the Bar T.”

“I agree. I don’t want to wait,” Jason said. “Where is the conference room?”

“Last door on the right. Just let Shirley know when you are done and I’ll get the paperwork witnessed and notarized.”

“Thanks,” Molly said.

They stood at the same time. Molly slung her leather bag over her shoulder and turned toward the door. Jason put his hand at the small of her back and reached around her to open it.

He led her down the hall. Once they were in the conference room, she stepped away from him, putting her bag down on the table.

She didn’t sit but walked over to the window at the end of the room that looked out at the street. It was a quiet business street that bordered the park. He stayed where he was, unsure what she was thinking.

“The situation is really very bleak. I’ve got a couple hundred head of cattle and we’ll make a profit but not nearly enough to pay back the money you lent us or the loan Dad took out to cover some investment losses. I don’t know if he had a plan to get out of the hole, but...I have a few thoughts,” she said, finally turning to face him.

She was serious. She looked like the same country girl he’d been talking to all morning, but in her eyes he saw a businesswoman with responsibilities. “During the dinner you missed last night, I talked to the hands to get their feelings on the ideas I have for the ranch. A part of me would rather eat dirt than accept help from Wil Abernathy, but you should know he made a very generous offer to lease part of our acreage.”

“You talked to the hands about this?”

“Well, they live on the ranch, too. It’s their livelihood on the line as much as mine. We can’t all run off and be astronauts.”

She was ticked. He could see that and he didn’t blame her. He had an out and she didn’t.

He studied her, and for a long moment all he could see was the way she’d looked in his arms that first night he’d come back here—with the moonlight on her face and her hair, wild and loose, curling around her shoulders and face. He wanted her. He needed to do right by her.

But he wasn’t sure how.

“Mick might come back and haunt us both if we make a deal with Abernathy,” Ace said slowly. He was well aware of the feud. Even if he thought taking Wil’s offer might be a good option, he didn’t want to do so at Molly’s expense. She was struggling, still grieving her dad and dealing with the will. And he knew she’d feel guilty about letting Abernathy lease the land. Ace needed to be the man Mick had expected him to be, and part of that meant protecting Mick’s daughter.

Hell, fake it. Be that man. Solve the problem...

For Molly.

She tipped her head at him. “Glad to see we are on the same page. That means we have to do something more than run cattle. It’s just not paying the way it used to. We’ve still got the oil wells, but they’re not producing like they did back in the ’70s.”

She walked back to the table and pulled out a chair, sitting down as she drew her bag toward her.

He thought about something Dennis had said before Ace had left Houston. About bids for the new training facility and how he wanted the facility to be close by and have more ties to NASA than the civilian team.

What if the Bar T was the location of the facility? It was a long shot. Still, they wouldn’t know unless they tried.

He put his hand on hers. “I’ve got a suggestion, but it’s a bit unusual.”

“What is it? So far all I’ve come up with is some sort of B&B spa and no one really wants to do that.”

“NASA. I’m part of a team preparing for long-term missions designed as precursors to the Mars missions we hope will happen one day. Much like Project Mercury was preparation for the moon landing. These missions would set up a way station between Earth and Mars. And they are looking to develop a dedicated training facility.”

“How would that work?”

“Well, the facility would be developed and paid for by a company that we agreed to work with. We’re close enough to Houston for it to be a good fit. What do you think?” he asked.

* * *

MOLLY LOVED HIS IDEA. From what Jason said, it would bring in money for the ranch without too much disruption. The financing would come through the government and private companies. Jason’s plan was for her to be a director of the facility along with him. As an experienced astronaut, he’d provide the NASA expertise and with her management skills and some additional training, Molly would be a good candidate for handling many of the day-to-day operational details.

“So you’d be here on the ranch?”

“For now. Once I get cleared for missions it’s my intention to go back into training for the Cronus program,” he said. “At that point, NASA could hire another qualified person to take on any hands-on responsibilities I would have to give up.”

He wasn’t going to stay forever because his place was up there, but she could have him for a little while. She was tied to the land. She couldn’t imagine living in the stars, but he did. He wanted it.

To agree to this idea of his. “How good do you think our chances are?”

“What?”

“You said bid. That means there are other potential places they could use, right?” she asked.

“Yes. I don’t know how many, but I can go to Houston and talk to my boss. If Dennis likes the idea, then I will ask him for some contacts with a company that wins a lot of bids.”

“Like the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Right? They built the Mars Rover and do a lot of work for NASA.”

“Yes. Like JPL, but smaller. This is a newer program and while everyone is excited about going to Mars one day and doing more long-term exploration, the risks are high. Many companies aren’t sure they want to invest in what could be a very short-term project if something goes wrong. But we’ve got nothing to lose and a good shot at winning the bid. I think my involvement will help. I’m one of only a handful of people who’ve spent a year in orbit.”

She knew he was kind of a big deal with NASA. They’d invested a lot in him and she imagined his knowledge of the training requirements would be a boon. “Okay. I guess we owe it to ourselves to give this a shot, don’t we?”

“We do,” he said. “How should we word this on the form?”

She looked down at the papers Rupert had given them, tucking a stubborn lock of hair behind her ear as she read. She tried to focus, but she was very aware of Jason standing close. Watching her.

She’d made a decision... She wasn’t sure when but there was a surety in her now that hadn’t been there before they’d walked into Rupert’s office. She was going to take this time with him and not look back. She had thought she’d have her dad with her forever and if his death had shown her anything, it was that she couldn’t wait to say and do the things she wanted. Time would keep moving on, of course, and the people who came into her life might move on, too. She had no guarantees of anything with Jason. Even if he never went back to active duty he might leave.

“I’m not sure,” she said at last. “You want to read it over? I’ll go get Shirley and see if she can help us.”

He came closer and she caught a whiff of his aftershave, remembered how she’d breathed it in when they’d laid on the grass and held each other. She closed her eyes and then pushed herself back from the conference room table.

Business. She needed to get this taken care of first, and then put this passion between the two of them to the test. See if it was going to be one quick burst or something that might last longer. There was no denying it. And she was tired of pretending she didn’t want him.

She patted him on the ass as she walked by him toward the door.

“Be right back,” she said.

But he was quick. She’d had no idea he could move that fast. He reached past her and put his hand on the door. Then he turned her in his arms and leaned over her, his hands on her shoulders as he pressed his body to hers.

“I thought you were mad at me?”

“Don’t think. That’s been the problem all along. We’re young, we want each other and if we know anything it’s that life goes fast and we aren’t guaranteed anything beyond this moment.”

“Really?”

“Hell, yes. I’m tired of being smart and pretending that I don’t want you, Jason—I mean, Ace.”

“I like that you call me Jason, even though I asked you to call me Ace. Reminds me that I’m a man, not just an astronaut,” he said, putting his forehead against hers.

This time she framed his face with her hands and kissed him. She didn’t care about anything except the way his mouth felt against hers. How impossibly right everything about this kiss was to her. She needed. Needed to believe that she was living and not just waiting for something to happen to her.

She was taking what she wanted with both hands.

6

SHE GRABBED HIS WRISTS and pressed his body into the door. Her breasts brushed his chest and he hardened in a rush as she leaned up against him and bit his earlobe.

“What are you doing?”

“Is it really that confusing?” she asked with a wink as she kissed his neck and then bit him lightly. “I’m taking control. I realized that I have been standing still for too long, rocket man.”

Rocket man.

His profession meant something to her. He heard the inference in her voice, but he was so turned on by her body close to his that he couldn’t figure it out. He couldn’t think.

He felt her hair on his neck, soft and smooth, smelling like summer strawberries, and he remembered his long year in orbit and how he’d started craving things. One of them had been sun-warmed strawberries.

He was hard and everything in him was focused on her breasts against his chest, her lips on his skin. The way she held him as if she wasn’t going to let go until she had what she wanted from him.

He wanted to give it to her, whatever she needed. Wanted this moment to never end. The air-conditioned coolness of the room contrasted with the heat that was burning inside him. He was inflamed by the way she kissed him, the passion that she’d let slip until it consumed the both of them.

He pulled one his hands free and reached behind her to cup her ass, drawing her forward. The fabric of her dress was light and he imagined he could feel her skin beneath it. He lifted her off her feet as she wrapped one leg around his thigh and pressed against the length of his cock.

Reaching between them, she rubbed her hand over his zipper and his hips jerked toward her touch as her caress moved up his chest and neck. She scraped her fingernail over his jaw and leaned up to whisper in his ear.

“I know that I’m not as mysterious as the universe...”

He let her feet fall to the floor. “The cosmos I can explore and understand through science, but you have always been a mystery to me.”

Her lips were red, her skin flushed and desire was still there between them, but he wanted their first time to last the afternoon, not be a hurried coupling in the lawyer’s office.

“Let’s finish up the paperwork. I want to be alone with you,” he said.

She nodded.

She pushed past and walked out the door. He turned to the window that looked out over the street, willing his body to calm down. Reminding himself that he was always in control. But with Molly he wasn’t. She rattled him.

Maybe staying at the ranch was stupid, but he’d never been one to back down from a challenge—and this was most definitely a challenge.

He wanted her. Wanted to prove to himself that he could have her and still go off on the adventures that had always defined him. But what about Molly? She’d said she wanted to live for the moment. Did she really understand what that meant? What it would be like when he had to leave?

The door opened behind him and he glanced over his shoulder to see Shirley standing there.

“Molly asked me to show you how to fill in the paperwork,” she said.

He nodded and walked around to the other side of the conference table, sitting down across from Rupert’s secretary.

“Tell me what you want to use the ranch for,” she invited.

He told her, but his mind was on Molly. Where was she? Had she run from him again?

No, she hadn’t. She strolled in a few minutes later. He could tell she’d splashed water on her face. She sat down next to Shirley.

He relaxed as soon as she did and he knew that what he’d been telling himself, that making love to Molly would bring him back to normal, had been a lie. There was no way that he was ever going to feel normal where she was concerned. She rattled him on a soul-deep level and made him want things he didn’t think he’d ever really be able to have.

Shirley and Molly went to the other room to get more forms and he sat there wondering what was wrong with him. He could see himself living on Mars or spending his life up amongst the stars, but he couldn’t imagine being in a romantic relationship that wasn’t fleeting.

When she came back in, he read over the typed notes and the asterisk she’d added at the bottom that said if he was off the planet for more than two years she would be solely responsible for managing their inheritance.

She knew he wasn’t staying.

And still she had kissed him like she wasn’t going to let him go.

* * *

SIGNING THE PAPERS took them into the late afternoon. Rupert wanted them to come back to his office once they knew if the NASA plan would be moving forward. If it didn’t work, they’d be back to square one.

Molly listened to Jason telling Rupert about the facility and realized she was out of her depth. She only understood about an eighth of what was said in the meeting. She had a lot of work to do to prepare for this. Though she hoped her main responsibility would simply be liaising with the facility and keeping the ranch and NASA elements separate.

Seeing Jason in his element, listening to the passion in his voice as he spoke about the long-term missions, awed her. When the meeting ended, Rupert stepped out and Jason turned to her, catching her staring.

“You okay?”

She nodded. “This is really different than ranching. I don’t know how effective I’ll be as a co-director.”

He winked at her. “I’ll handle the space stuff. You’re a great manager,” he reminded her.

“I think I’d be better as a liaison,” she said, gathering up everything she’d brought with her today and putting it back in her bag.”

“Okay, that works, too. Are you expected back for evening chores?” he asked.

“Rina isn’t expecting me. I wasn’t sure how long this would take.”

“Good, would you join me for dinner?”

“That would be nice. What did you have in mind?”

“Ray’s Bar-b-que,” he said.

Ray’s was an institution in Cole’s Hill. There were some folks who drove all the way over from Houston or down from San Antonio to eat there. It was a big old smokehouse where they pit-roasted brisket for some of the best barbecue she’d ever had.

“Sounds good. If you go get dinner, I’ll pick up some cold beer at the grocery store. We can eat in the park,” she said.

“Sounds like a plan. See you there in thirty minutes.”

He walked out of the conference room and she sat there for a few more minutes before Shirley came in.

“Are you almost finished?”

“I am.”

She left the law offices and walked down to the small grocery store to pick up drinks and dessert. Then she carried the bag back to the park. She sat on the same bench they’d used that morning.

The day hadn’t turned out at all as she’d expected. Everything had changed—how she saw Jason, what the future of the ranch might be. She felt panic in her stomach the way she did whenever things changed. Sometimes she felt like the big, worn oak tree that stood behind the barn. Rooted so deeply that the wind barely made the branches sway. She liked it. Consistency was what she wanted and needed. She knew things couldn’t stay the same, that change was necessary. But as much as she knew she needed to accept Jason’s plan for a new facility in order to keep the ranch in the family and to ensure its continued success, she wasn’t too sure about it.

“You’re looking way too serious for a picnic,” Jason said as he walked up to her. Now he had a baseball cap on, not his usual cowboy hat, and his sunglasses hid his eyes from her.

“Dad used to say I could worry about a new pair of shoes.” It wasn’t much of an answer, but maybe he’d let it go. Please, she thought.

“You always have been very serious. I have a suggestion, if you’re game.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t,” she said.

“Good. I parked next to your truck. Why don’t we head back toward the ranch? I know a nice, secluded spot where we can eat our dinner.”

That suited her just fine. She needed time alone with her thoughts.

They went back to the trucks, and Molly followed Jason’s pickup until he pulled off the road. Then he got out of his truck and hopped in the cab of hers.

“This is our property,” she said.

“I know. Drive toward that copse of trees,” he said.

She nodded, putting the truck back in gear. They bounced over the field as the sun started sinking low toward the horizon. She parked near the trees. Jason got out and then walked around to the bed of the pickup. He put down the tailgate as she joined him and he climbed into the back of the truck, unfolding a blanket that he must have tossed back there before he’d gotten in the cab.

“You’ve thought of everything.”

“I try. Part of my job is being prepared for anything,” he said.

“You must be very good at it.”

“I am. That’s why I’m determined to make this facility work,” he said.

She sat on the tailgate and then swung her legs up, settling down next to Jason on the blanket. She pulled the grocery bag closer and handed him an ice-cold Lone Star beer before taking out a tub of potato salad and some forks. “I didn’t get any plates. I figured we could share.”

“That works for me,” he said, giving her a sandwich.

She opened the paper wrapping and closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of the barbecue beef sandwich. “I swear heaven must smell like this.”

He laughed and she blushed. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around when your dad died,” he said.

“It’s okay. Today in that meeting, I realized you are doing exactly what you should be.”

“I’ve always thought so, but now I’m questioning it,” he said, taking a big bite of his sandwich.

She watched him chew before shaking herself and turning away.

“That’s just because of your health.”

“And you,” he said.

She knew he meant the ranch and the attraction, nothing more. And she was fine with that. But a part of her wished it really was about her. Molly, the person, not his business partner, not his fling. Not Mick’s daughter.

* * *

HE’D NEVER THOUGHT about getting older or the years passing. He always lived his life one day at the time. But he had to face things now. It wasn’t just his health that weighed heavily on his mind. Mick had only been sixty-five. He’d probably imagined he had years ahead of him to spend with Molly, get the ranch in order, do everything that mattered. Ace was only thirty-one, but his job was dangerous and life was uncertain. He didn’t want to miss out on the important things—and for the first time he wondered if some of those things might be right here on Earth.

“I mean that,” he said to Molly. She’d shrugged slightly when he’d said she was part of what was changing him.

“Sure you do. We’re partners. We will be taking on a huge responsibility if NASA awards that bid to us,” she said. “You better be serious. I have no clue how to do any of it without you.”

“You’d figure it out pretty quick. Besides NASA will hire all the other personnel. The Cronus program has a few people in place but they will add more once the facility is built and staffed. Are you happy with this decision?” he asked. “I hope I didn’t force it on you.”

“I’m okay with it. The only thing that would have truly made me happy was finding a way to go back to how things were. You know?”

“I do know. It’s hard to see your home change and to realize that you have to embrace it or lose it.”

“It is. I didn’t know you thought of the Bar T like that,” she said.

He glanced over at her, removing his ball cap and putting his sunglasses inside of it. He took a deep breath.

“I was thinking about my childhood home.”

“Oh. What happened there? You never talked about it when we were younger,” she said, taking a sip of her beer and shifting on the blanket until she could rest her back against the wheel well, stretching her legs out in front of her. “Unless you don’t want to say.”

“I wouldn’t have brought it up,” he said, smiling at her. “I lived in a low-income apartment complex. My old man was gone before I was born. Mom got sick, pancreatic cancer. They moved her to hospice, and after she died no one seemed to remember me. So I just lived in our apartment by myself. The water and electricity worked for about two months and then they shut it off, but no one came to take over the apartment. I started shoplifting food, and then fell in with a bad crowd...”

She reached over and rubbed his leg. “I’m sorry.”

“Mick told me everyone knows heartache. Some of us just get more of it than others,” Ace said. Mick had been laconic with his words, but what he did say always seemed to be exactly what Ace had needed to hear.

“Sounds like Dad. Being here helped you, didn’t it?”

“Yes,” he said. “More than I can say.”

“When I was younger I never understood why Dad took you boys in. Jeb tried to explain it to me when I was being a bratty teenager and not talking to Dad, but I still didn’t get it until just now. We had so much and I’m really glad that Dad invited you and the other boys to share it.”

“Me, too,” Jason said. Mick had saved him. Not just from jail but also from the man he might have been. Someone who never thought to dream of the stars.

“I am going to have to talk to the bank tomorrow,” she said.

He shook his head.

“What?”

“We’re on a picnic—no talk of chores or business,” he said.

“What will we talk about?”

He leaned against the wheel well on his side and stretched his legs out next to hers. He crossed his arms over his chest. There was so much he wanted to know about her; he wasn’t sure where to start.

“What did you do after high school?” he asked.

“Went to community college in Houston for one semester. I got an apartment near campus with Annabelle, do you remember her?”

“Vaguely. You used to hang out with her in the summers, right?” he asked. He had an image of a redheaded girl in his mind, but he wasn’t sure if that was Annabelle.

“Yeah. Anyway, turns out she is very messy and not too disciplined, so we didn’t like living together and I didn’t much like college so I came back home and took some online classes in business management. Dad thought it would be good for me when I took over the ranch.”

“Was it?”

“Yes, so far. What did you do when you first left the ranch?” she asked.

He didn’t want to talk about himself. He wanted to know more about her. What she’d said about her friend intrigued him. “Are you a clean freak?”

“What?”

“You said Annabelle was messy,” he said.

“Oh. I just like things in their place. Orderly, you know. She left stuff everywhere.”

“I like things orderly, too,” he said.

“That makes sense. On the ISS you have very little room,” she said. “What’s it like living in such a small space for a year?” she asked. “I think I’d go crazy if I couldn’t go outside, breathe in the fresh air and walk through the fields.”

She gestured to the ranch and he noticed how slim her arms were, how gracefully she moved.

“You would.”

7

“I GUESS YOU have the whole universe spread out before you, though. The ranch must seem small compared to that,” she said.

He tipped his head back, staring up. As the sun set and the sky darkened, she saw stars and satellites twinkling in the sky.

“It does. But most of the time all I can do is look at the surrounding stars and the Earth through the space station’s windows,” he said at last. His voice was low, husky and relaxed. He seemed to be at peace, which she’d never noticed in him before.

“Most of the time?”

“Space walks,” he said. “I put on a space suit, tether myself to a line and go out for an extravehicular activity. I love the freedom of floating around up there.”

“Isn’t that scary?” she asked. She was scared just thinking about him up there, exposed and vulnerable. She reminded herself that he was nothing more than a guy she knew from childhood. A guy who turned her on, made her hotter than a two-dollar pistol as her gramps used to say. Yet he seemed like more than that somehow. He attracted her like nothing—no one—else ever had.

“No more so than galloping across the field when a horse has its head,” he said.

“But if you fall from a horse, you don’t have far to go.”

She was still trying to understand the draw that universe had for him.

“You could easily break your neck and die,” he said at last. “But the thrill of letting your horse run across the field, of feeling the wind whipping around you, of being free—it’s enough of an incentive that you don’t worry about that possibility. You know the risk is worth it.”

She uncrossed her legs and sat up from where she’d been leaning. As the darkness deepened and it became harder to see his features, he revealed things he wouldn’t say in the light of day. It had been the same two nights ago when he’d gone riding with her.

Why was it they both felt safer in the dark?

She couldn’t dwell on that.

“What if your tether breaks? What if you just float away?”

“I’d be out there with the stars, seeing parts of the universe only a handful have ever seen... I’d say that would be worth the cost.”

“It seems too big, too scary for me.”

“Some of the things you do scare me,” he said.

“Like what?” she asked. “You’ve done everything I do.”

He put his hand on her leg, just held it loosely, but a shiver went up her body. “Okay, maybe that’s true, but I hated it—at least when I first arrived at fourteen. I was so dusty and dirty and every night when I went to bed, I’d stare out the window above my bed and think about being up there with the stars.”

Even when he’d been closest to her, he’d been just out of her reach. She knew this. Why did she keep trying to find some way to convince herself he was the kind of man who’d stay?

She should stop thinking of him as Jason and remember he was Ace. That’s all he could ever be to her.

Ace.

Superstar astronaut. Heart in the stars. He was here because he was grounded. As soon as the all clear came he’d be gone.

He hadn’t even hesitated to sign that document earlier that had given her the right to make all decisions about the ranch if he was off the planet for more than two years.

“Why did Dad give you half the ranch?” she asked.

He shrugged. But she felt that he knew more.

“Don’t lie.”

“Lifting my shoulders isn’t lying,” he said.

“Not telling the truth is. Please, tell me,” she said.

“He told me once that he was afraid you’d never have a chance to be anything more than what he and the Bar T had made you. I guess he didn’t want to put the full weight of owning the ranch on you. Maybe he thought I’d be able to help.”

She could hear her father’s voice in Jason’s words. Heard the worry he’d felt in the last few months before his accident. Tears burned her eyes and she blinked, trying to stem them, but failed. “Why didn’t he ask me what I wanted?”

“Maybe he was afraid of the answer.”

She hugged herself and put her head down. The ache she felt for her father was all-consuming. She just wanted one more hug. One more chance to smell that unique scent of Old Spice aftershave and worn leather. To know she didn’t have to worry because he was there.

She felt Jason’s hand on her arm.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Me, too. I... What did he think I’d do?”

“Live. He said that he suspected you were hiding from something here,” Jason said.

She went still. The tears stopped and she realized her father knew there was more to her coming back from Houston than a messy roommate.

“What are you hiding from?”

* * *

TALKING NEVER WAS her strong suit. She’d never learned to hide what she was feeling, to protect herself. She pulled her arm out from under Jason’s and scooted toward the end of the truck. She hopped down and stood there. Twilight had darkened and she was caught between night and day. She was dressed up rather than wearing her usual jeans and scuffed boots. She almost felt like she didn’t belong here right now.

She was a mess. She’d been pretending for too long that she wasn’t. Thought she was going to make a deal with Jason and somehow get the ranch back on solid financial ground once and for all. But now she acknowledged she’d been kidding herself. She was never going to get out of this morass.

She knew it as surely as she knew that she’d been sending mixed signals all day. She wanted him. She wanted to lose herself in that sweet crush she remembered from a more innocent time. When she’d had no idea what real heartbreak and loss felt like.

Jason slid to the end of the pickup truck and sat there, his legs hanging over the tailgate as he quietly watched her. She noticed that he had on some kind of hiking boot, not Western boots. He wasn’t a cowboy. How many times was she going to have to be faced with that knowledge before it sank in?

“You okay?”

No.

“Of course. I mean, you just told me my dad thought I was hiding, and I had to make a deal that requires me to let strangers come onto my land. I’m partners with a man I barely know...yeah, I’m great.”

“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you,” he said.

“Sorry. It’s all I’ve got right now. It’s that or howling,” she admitted. “Since I want to preserve a little dignity I’m going with sarcasm.”

“You can howl with me,” he said.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Be nice. Be agreeable. I don’t want—”

She broke off and turned away.

“You need a fight,” he said.

She didn’t answer him. Now she felt stupid. And small and silly. And still so freaking lost. She knew this made no sense. But then, emotions weren’t logical. She’d learned that a long time ago.

“Yeah, but that’s not fair to you.”

“Since when has life been fair?” he asked.

“Never,” she said under her breath. Her mom had died, his dad had left, his mom had died, her lover had left, her dad had died and who the hell knew what else had happened to Jason.

“Damned straight,” he said, hopping off the tailgate and putting his hands on her shoulders.

She turned to face him.

“Remember when you pinned me against the door in Rupert’s office?” he asked.

“How could I forget that?”

“I’ve been waiting for us to be alone all afternoon so we could finish what we started. I want that passion, Mol. I want you.”

“I want you, too. I’m trying to justify sleeping with you, trying to remember that nothing lasts and that I can just do this,” she said.

She put her hand on his chest. Felt his body heat through the fabric and watched him, carefully. It wasn’t light enough to see his eyes, but she felt his gaze on her.

“We’ll always be friends,” he said.

And that should be enough. She wasn’t going to fall in love. She remembered the one time she had fallen for a man. How much it had hurt when it ended. Could she keep her emotions bottled up?

Hell, probably not, but damned if she was going to deny herself Jason.

“Yes, we will,” she said at last.

She wrapped her arms around him, intending to kiss him, but instead she put her head on his chest. For just a moment she needed to feel him wrapped around her. She needed to know this was more than just physical because her emotions were still chaotic, swirling through her like a tornado across the plains. And she needed to be sure that he was solid enough to take the buffeting from the wind.

He rubbed his hands over her back, his fingers massaging her sides all the way down to her butt and then back up. Those long, languid caresses brought her more fully into her body and she felt the tension and worry drift away.

There was only the two of them and this moment.

Nothing lasted forever.

But she wanted this time with Jason to be lived to the fullest. Not hiding or running or worrying.

Tomorrow she might struggle with that, but for tonight...she was his.

And he was hers.

She lifted her face to his and he lowered his head, his mouth falling on hers with all the pent-up desire she felt sweeping through her own body. With all the lust and need they had awakened in the lawyer’s office. She’d thought she’d pushed it aside but realized the fires had only been banked, not extinguished.

His tongue pushed deep into her mouth as his hands grabbed her ass and lifted her off her feet.

She wrapped her legs around his lean waist and held on to his shoulders as the night swirled around her and she heard a moan. It was deep, raw and needy.

* * *

JASON SLIPPED HIS hands up the back of her thighs, clutching them to hold her up but also because he loved the feel of her flesh under his hands. Her skin was supple and smelled sweet. Under the perfume was another musk that was all Molly. Seductive and sensual, it aroused him as much as touching her thighs did.

He fanned his fingers out wider to reach her inner thighs and to feel the heat of her sex on his skin. She was so hot. And so damned soft. Softer than anything else he’d ever touched. He held her, his tongue in her mouth, his cock hard against the apex of her thighs, and took everything she had to give.

She was lost. He’d felt the loneliness that had come off her in waves. He’d experienced the same thing himself as a teen. That need had awakened in him a keen longing to give her something of himself. To make promises he knew he could never keep no matter how much he wanted to. To show her that she wasn’t alone. That they could lose themselves in each other and forget everything else for a few bliss-filled hours with only the stars and moon looking on.

He tore his mouth from hers, his breath sawing in and out. She bit his lower lip gently and then licked her own. He groaned and stopped thinking about anything but his thickening erection and how much he wanted her.

He took two steps back until he felt the cold metal of the pickup truck behind him. The gate dug into his back as Molly undulated against him. He felt her long, cool fingers on his neck; she stroked his pulse, which he knew raced.

He shifted her weight to one arm and saw her tight nipples pressing against the fabric of her sundress. Unable to help himself, he leaned down to suck on one of them through her clothing. She arched her back, thrusting her breasts toward him. He palmed her other breast as he continued to suck on her nipple.

He felt the strain a little in his muscles, but he’d been working out every day for most of his adult life and if he couldn’t hold on to this wild cowgirl while he was making love to her, then what was the point? She moaned his name and he felt her hands in his hair, tracing the shape of his ear before moving down his neck again.

She stroked his chest and then wedged her hand between their bodies to run her fingers down the line of his zipper. His hips jerked forward and he had to shift his hold on her as a wave of need, hot like a solar flare, washed over him.

There was no hiding his reaction to her. And he didn’t want to. For the first time since he’d come back to Cole’s Hill and the Bar T Ranch, he felt like he was being true to himself. Every breath he took was filled with the scent of her. The feel of her under his fingers inflamed every sense in his body. He was compelled by the need to fill her completely.

He turned to set her ass on the tailgate and stand between her legs as he tangled his hands in the hair at the nape of her neck, tugging lightly on it. She let her head fall back, exposing the long length of her neck. He kissed it, moving his mouth slowly down to her collarbone where the fabric of her sundress blocked his access to her skin.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tightened her legs around his hips, then shoved the strap of her dress down. He groaned in approval and kissed his way farther down her arm. Moving slowly back toward her torso, he followed the neckline of her dress, dipping his tongue underneath to taste more of her.

She was addictive. He wanted to see her stretched out under him. Naked so that he could explore her entire body. Wanted nothing but his hands and mouth on her. Wanted her to need him and nothing else.

He pushed her legs farther apart, caressing her knees and slowly moving his hands down her legs to her feet. He took off her left boot and set it on the ground before turning his attention to the right. He removed it as well and then pulled off her socks.

He smiled when he saw they were decorated with pink flamingoes. He set them on the truck bed. Lifting her left foot, he placed it in the center of his chest. She wriggled her toes and he rubbed the arch of her foot.

“Your feet are small.”

“Really? They seem just right to me.”

He ran his finger along her instep, tickling her, and she squirmed to get away, causing the hem of her dress to ride up her thighs. All thoughts of smallish feet and tickling her dropped away. He noticed the large bruise on the top of her foot and pressed a gentle kiss to it. Ranching was hard work. He’d ask her what happened later, make sure it wasn’t causing her pain. But right now he wanted to focus on bringing them both pleasure. His fingers glided up her leg. It was strong, muscled from years of working on the ranch—he always associated Molly with strength.

Despite what her father had said, and what she was going through now, he didn’t believe she was hiding on the Bar T—that wasn’t Molly Tanner’s way. She was the kind of woman who met life head-on and took what she wanted. And for some reason she wanted him.

He hoped he wouldn’t disappoint her. But at this moment, with the scent of her filling every breath he took, the only thing he could be sure of was how much he wanted her.

He just needed to be inside of her. To prove to himself that he wasn’t lost.

Damn.

He shut down his mind and just stared at her long, slim legs. Her skirt still covered the top of her thighs and suddenly the clothing wasn’t tolerable to him anymore.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, the words torn from some place deep in his soul.

“I’m not,” she argued.

“You are.” His fingers drifted higher and felt something rough on her inner thigh. Somehow he hadn’t noticed it earlier. Leaning lower, he examined her leg in the dusky twilight.

“What is this?” he asked.

“Burn scar from the time Annabelle and I tried smoking in the barn, but Jeb busted us. I dropped the cigarette in surprise but caught it between my legs, not wanting to start a fire in the hay. It burned my jeans instead.”

He touched the scar again, lightly. The skin was raised, but it wasn’t as rough as it would have been when she’d first got it.

“When was this?”

“The spring before you arrived.”

“You tried smoking at twelve?” he asked. No matter how much he learned about her, there was still a lot he didn’t know.

“Yeah, my mom had just died. I was going through a phase,” she said.

He feathered his fingers over the patch of skin. It fit with what he knew of Molly.

He leaned down and kissed the scar.

What else had she done? What other scars were hidden on her body? He vowed to find them all. To search them out so he could kiss them and soothe them. To make her his completely and learn all the secrets that he’d never realized she was keeping.

But how could he do that and still keep his own secrets? It was a path he’d have to tread very carefully.

He kept kissing her, moving higher and higher until he reached the edge of her panties. He mouthed her through her underwear and felt the heat of her body. Her thighs tightened around his head and then she let them fall open.

He pushed her panties to one side and parted her with his fingers. Her hair was neatly trimmed, her flesh a delicate pink and the little nub at the center was swollen with need. He gently caressed her, rubbing her clit in a circular motion, and she moaned. A sound of approval. He continued to move his finger over her before he leaned down closer again.

He breathed on her first, watching her legs spread wider apart as she lifted her hips, presenting her body to him. He ran his tongue over her and she grabbed his head, resting one of her legs on his shoulder as he continued to lick her delicate flesh. She tasted amazing. He traced her core with his finger, just teasing the opening, and then slowly pushed one finger up inside of her. Her hips jerked upright.

He added a second finger and thrust them deeper. She was the perfect dessert on this starry night. She felt like everything to him in this moment. He was rock hard, his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans, but he didn’t want to stop touching Molly to free it. He continued moving his mouth over her until he felt her body start to tighten around his fingers. He kept rocking them in and out of her until she arched her back and cried his name.

He lifted his head, pulled his fingers from her body and looked up at her. She was on her elbows gazing down at him. Her eyes were fiery, passionate. There was a flush to her body and her breath rasped in and out, causing her breasts to rise and fall rapidly.

“That was...”

“Delicious.”

He climbed up on the tailgate and straddled her as she reached for the zipper of his jeans. He had a condom. Just one. Optimistically put in his pocket earlier when he’d stopped for gas on the way to the coffee shop.

He’d wanted her for so long. He’d known it when he arrived on the Bar T, and that deep need for her had been confirmed today in the lawyer’s office when he’d realized he wanted to be her hero. He wanted to come up with a solution that not only would be palatable to her but would impress her.

Shit. He was thirty-one and still trying to figure out how to impress a girl he liked. He’d hoped maybe he’d have figured women out by this age. Now he was wise enough to know he never would.

But he knew what she wanted tonight and he meant to give it to her. Some things in his life were out of his control right now, but with Molly there were no limits. He was in charge and he meant to take full advantage of that tonight.

She reached into the opening of his jeans as she lowered the zipper; he felt her hand rubbing up and down his cock. He jerked forward and realized his control was more tenuous than he’d imagined.

He had been at the space station for a year and that was a long time without anything besides his fantasies to keep him company. His body was primed. And this was Molly...which made it so much sweeter.

She traced his length, her fingernail scraping over his boxers. He wanted to feel her touch on his naked skin. He quickly freed himself, the evening air brushing over his aroused flesh, as she scooted backward, coming up on her knees to look at him.

She took his shaft in one hand, stroking him in her fist. Moving it up and down in a slow and sensuous way that made his balls tighten. She skimmed her finger over the tip of his erection and his hips jerked forward.

She cupped him in one hand and squeezed very softly as she tightened her grip on his cock. He started to thrust in her hand. She leaned forward and he felt her breath on him a moment before her tongue traced the head of his penis.

The beginning of his orgasm shivered up and down his spine and he pressed his hips forward, feeling her mouth engulf him. He tried to control himself—he’d been lauded for his self-control. But her mouth made a mockery of that. He was thrusting into her mouth, his hands in her hair and her hands on his balls.

But he wanted more for this first encounter with her. He forced himself to pull back. She followed him. But he tipped her chin up and looked down into her eyes.

“I need to be inside of you,” he said.

She nodded. “I want that, too.”

She reached under her dress and removed her panties. Then she looked at him. He put the condom on with one hand and then drew her closer until she straddled his lap. His hands under her dress, he felt the warmth of her body in contrast to the cool fabric.

He ran his hands down her spine; she arched over him and brought her mouth down hard on his. She took one of his hands and brought it to her breast. He cupped it and then pushed the fabric out of his way.

She reached behind her, pulled the dress over her head and tossed it away. Then, she slowly undid the buttons on the front of his shirt. She pushed it aside and leaned down to kiss him. One of his hands tangled in her hair as their mouths met again and he shifted his hips so that the tip of his cock was poised at the entrance of her body.

She hovered over him and then slowly lowered herself down his length. He sucked her tongue deeper into his mouth. She stopped, letting her body adjust to his size, and then she rocked up until he was almost completely out of her before plunging back down on him.

She tore her mouth from his, tipping her head back as she rode him hard. He pushed the fabric of her bra out of his way and found her nipple with his mouth. He sucked on her and felt her moving faster and more forcefully against him. But it wasn’t enough. He needed more.

He grabbed her hips, clutching at her ass, as he drove himself up into her and pulled her down against him. The fire of sex engulfed them both as they drove themselves harder and harder until she screamed his name and he felt her tightening around him. He held her hips tight against him as he continued to thrust up into her, sucking her nipple deeper into his mouth until he felt his balls tighten and he came. Emptying himself, he continued to thrust into her until he was spent.

She collapsed against him, her head on his shoulder. He held her loosely, but he wanted to clutch her to him. Wanted to remember this moment, her pressed against him like a warm blanket, when he was back in the coldness of space.

“Well, you showed me the stars tonight,” she said, her voice breathless and her tone, he suspected, deliberately light.

“And you showed me how little I know of the universe. That there are still so many mysteries I have yet to understand.”

He drew her dress over her and held her in his arms. He wanted to pretend that this had changed nothing, but instead it seemed that everything was different now. He held her so close that it was impossible to deny it.

She’d become important to him.

She’d made a place inside his soul.

8

JASON TOLD HER about the night sky as he held her in his arms. In the distance there was nothing but endless inky darkness. They were too far from town to see the flickering streetlights and too far from the buildings on the ranch to see their lights, either. It was as if they were the only two people on the planet at this moment.

“Is that the appeal of traveling to Mars or another far-off planet?” she asked. “Being the only person there...well, apart from the rest of the crew, of course.”

“Some of it,” he said. “Part of it is that when I’m up there I don’t have the worries I do on Earth. I just have to do my job. And everything is mission critical. I can’t stop to worry about anything else.”

“I wouldn’t mind getting away from my worries here,” she said. “But I’d miss the ranch.”

He tightened his arms around her and smoothed her hair absently. He was mellow. Hell, she was, too. It was as if sex had reset something inside of her that she hadn’t realized was askew.

“What would you run away from?” he asked.

She thought about it for a moment. She could tell him anything. That was what it felt like tonight. He was warm and comforting as he held her.

“Just all the doubts that I have,” she said. “I get so tired of wondering if I’m doing what Dad wanted. I hate that he’s not here. I wish... I almost wish he’d been sick for a little while so I could have had some warning, been able to say good-bye, but that’s selfish. He would have hated being stuck in bed, unable to take care of things around the ranch. Still, it would have been easier for me.”

He rubbed her arm up and down.

“I wish I’d been here. As much as I like being up there...I wish I’d been here for you when Mick had his accident. I wish I’d told him at least once how grateful I am for what he did for me,” Jason said.

She squeezed his wrist. “He knew.”

“Really?”

“Yes. He was very proud of you. He told everyone who came to the ranch, didn’t matter if they were delivering feed or a new stud. Dad would tell them about his ‘son’ the astronaut.”

Jason squeezed her tight and she heard his breath catch. She turned to look at him, but he’d tipped his head up toward the sky and she gave him a moment. Gave him the time he needed to get his emotions under control.

That was the thing about grief, she thought—it wasn’t just over and done. It kept sweeping along and hitting her when she least expected it. But talking about Dad tonight felt right. Felt like they both needed to get some sort of closure in regard to the man who’d meant the world to both of them and had left them so unexpectedly.

She knew that if it hadn’t been for Mick’s death, she and Jason wouldn’t be here. They would both be living their ordinary lives.

“I miss him,” she said.

“I know. What do you think he’d say about us turning part of the ranch into a training facility?”

“I have no idea,” she said. “It’s different. Is this your way of staying with NASA even if you don’t pass the medical?”

He shrugged. She noticed he did that a lot when he didn’t want to answer a question. She got it. It was easier for her to talk about him than to examine herself.

“Sort of,” he said. “Ever feel like you were born at the wrong time?”

“Not really. I’m pretty happy right where I am.”

“Yeah, I can see that. That’s probably why everything has hit you so hard with your dad,” he said. “I mean...”

She reached up and touched his face. “I get it. Why do you wish you were born in a different time?”

“Well, if I was born thirty years earlier, I could have been part of the moon landing and those missions. Twenty years later and I’d be the perfect age to land on Mars one day. Instead...”

“You are doing the work to enable others to go to Mars. To allow us to see if there is other life in the universe,” she said. “This facility—the missions you would be training astronauts for are key to the next step.”

He squeezed her tighter. “I sound like a punk, complaining like that.”

“I wouldn’t word it like that,” she said.

“No, you’re much too nice. But my buddies in the Cronus program...”

“Like who? Tell me about them. Are there any women?” she asked. “I’m friends with Jessie Odell, the adventurer, and she does some crazy-ass stuff—surviving in the wilderness, going places where very few men and even fewer women have been.”

“I’ve heard of her. Who hasn’t?” Jason said. “How do you know her?”

“We’re pen pals. After my smoking incident in the barn, Dad thought I needed a better use of my time. So he found her fan mail address—she was still doing that show with her parents—and I wrote to her. I told her about living on the ranch. She grew up on the ocean and...we connected. We both were isolated in our own ways.”

“That’s pretty cool. I felt that way when I got assigned to my first mission and started training with Dennis. He’d done a bunch of missions, but we connected. He’s like a big brother to me.”

“And now he’s the guy in charge of the Cronus program, right?”

“Yes. If I pass my medical tests, I’ll be competing for a place in his program, along with a bunch of other guys.”

“Do you know most of them?” she asked.

“Yeah. I’m probably one of the senior astronauts.”

“You’re not that old,” she said.

“Geez, thanks,” he said. “I meant because of the mission-hours I’ve clocked.”

“I know it will be very hard for you if you’re grounded permanently,” she said. “Why would you want the facility here, outside Houston? Won’t that make it even worse?”

“I’ve spent my entire career working toward manned missions to Mars and making sure we will be prepared to form a colony there one day. I need to know what’s out there. But if I’m grounded, I at least want to be involved in some way. I’d never be able to leave NASA completely.”

In his voice she heard the same pain and longing she felt when she thought about losing the ranch. He would help her save the Bar T—she knew even if they didn’t win the bid, Jason wouldn’t leave until the ranch was secure. And now she wanted to do as much for him. She would help him get into shape, do whatever he needed to be ready for his medical. Not for herself, because she was just realizing how much she’d miss him, but for him.

* * *

WELL, GETTING DRESSED wasn’t awkward at all. Molly handed him his clothes and then he followed her back to the ranch. Rina wasn’t in the kitchen, but she’d left half a blueberry pie in the middle of the table with a Post-it note that said there was homemade ice cream in the fridge.

Molly raised her eyebrows at him. “Do you want pie?”

“Yeah, and maybe some decaf,” he said. “But I need a shower.”

She tipped her head to the side, watching him with a guarded look. “I think you are all right.”

She was probably right, but now that he was back in this house he felt the walls closing in on him. He needed to get away for a few minutes. Needed time to think.

Molly was great, but she made him want things that weren’t in his plans. She made the ranch feel like...well, hell, it felt like home. And he didn’t want that. The Bar T Ranch was his temporary stopover, nothing more.

“Yeah, but I’d still like a shower. Meet me back down here in thirty?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I’m going to skip dessert and head up. I have to be up early to do chores with the men. I’ve missed them two days in a row. Jeb will give me hell if I’m not there tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he said.

The distance between them was creeping back in. Though he’d thought he wanted that, he realized he didn’t want it this way. He didn’t want to feel like he’d done or said the wrong thing. But he was pretty sure he had.

When hadn’t he said the wrong thing? “I’m sorry. It’s just...tonight was...”

“Don’t say anything else. I’m tired. Like I said, I’ve got to be up early and tonight was nice. I wish it didn’t have to end, but it’s like those old stories about the man in the moon. When we look at it too long it falls apart. Let’s say good-night now before I make this awkward.”

But it was too late. He knew it and he read in her eyes that she did, too. He wanted to apologize again, but she must know he hadn’t meant for this to happen. Didn’t she? “Do you need me in the morning?”

“Nah. You might want to ride some of the fences tomorrow and get the lay of the land again. You can take out the Mule, the all-terrain vehicle. I’ll assign one of our hands to take you around.”

“Okay. I also want to see the acreage you spoke of using for the facility.”

“Jeb is working on clearing it. We haven’t used it for cattle in a while. We can talk it over at breakfast if you’re up that early or at lunch, which is at noon.”

“I’ll be at breakfast,” he said.

She nodded. “Night.”

She walked out of the room and he just watched her leave. He sat down hard at the table and looked around the big ranch kitchen. The hardwood table that had been built to serve the ranch hands. It was sturdy, well used. Like he felt tonight. Not on its last leg, but worn and scarred. He wanted to believe that he was managing life and all that it threw at him, but tonight he wasn’t.

He wanted... Hell, he had no idea. Sex was supposed to be a stress relief. Wasn’t that what Hemi always called it? But sex with Molly wasn’t just physical. It was more like finding another part of his soul—a part he’d never even knew existed—and feeling as if he was a little closer to being whole.

A person couldn’t be that for him. He didn’t trust the universe to keep the people he cared about alive and with him. He kept his relationships carefully limited. Mick, Dennis, maybe Hemi and a few of the other guys who were trying for the Cronus missions. That was it. He didn’t let many people get close to him and he had the uncomfortable feeling that Molly had slipped in when he hadn’t been paying attention.

Her long legs and curvy hips had distracted him. Made him think with his dick instead of his brain. And now he was dealing with the fallout.

He put his head in his hands, stared at the tabletop and saw a small crescent moon etched into the wood. Dropping his hands, he traced the old carving. He remembered how rebellious he’d felt when he’d worked on it over the course of his first summer at the ranch. He’d felt like he had a secret. Tonight he’d unconsciously sat in the same spot that had been his all those years ago. He glanced across the table, remembered that Molly had sat there.

It was funny that no matter how much had changed this still felt like his spot. He rubbed the moon again. He had always been so sure of what he wanted, where he wanted to go, where his real home was—up there in the stars—but as he looked around the kitchen and the memories of the past swelled around him, he realized he had more of a home here than he wanted to remember.

* * *

HE LEFT BEFORE dawn broke over the horizon the next day. Making love to Molly...well, that hadn’t been his smartest idea, but he didn’t regret it.

As much as ranching wasn’t in his plans, he owed it to Mick to make sure that the place survived.

Despite his desire to ride the fences and see the acreage they’d discussed the night before, he didn’t want to wait another moment before putting their plan into action. That was why he’d left. It wasn’t cowardice driving him from her arms; it was determination. Or at least that was his story and he was sticking to it. He fiddled with the radio and had a flashback to this first ride out to the Bar T Ranch sitting in the front seat with Mick.

The older man had been larger than life and his voice the kind of quiet rumble that rolled through a room the way thunder did across the wide-open plains. He’d hit the different buttons on the radio and looked over at Jason—he’d definitely only been Jason back then—and said, “You like this kind of music?”

Jason hadn’t said anything. Still mad that he’d gotten busted for living alone and scared that legally he had to live with this guy.

Finally, after exhausting all of the choices, Mick turned to him, stared with those wise eyes of his and said, “You don’t like much, do you?”

Jason had shrugged. He’d been living alone for six months after his mom died. For most of that time there had been no electricity, no music. “I don’t know.”

“Fair enough,” Mick said. “Now that you’re living with us, you can figure it out.”

Mick had turned on a country music station. Not one of the modern ones. One that played classic country like George Jones, Hank Williams, Jr. and Conway Twitty. And Jason had been hooked. Mick knew it and kept him supplied with CDs and a new CD player in his room. It was the first thing he’d liked about his new life. That, and the fact that he didn’t have to worry about finding his next meal or keeping warm at night.

Now, he stopped on that old classic country station. “Who’s Gonna Fill Their Shoes?” by George Jones began to play, and tears burned the back of Ace’s eyes. He wondered if there’d ever be a man who could fill Mick’s shoes. Ace was determined to do right by Molly and the ranch. It was the least he could do for the man who’d saved his life and made this future possible.

And there was Molly. He wanted her to always have the land she loved. To always be able to get on her horse and take that midnight ride across the pasture. He didn’t want them to have to sell or lease a single acre.

He had texted Dennis as soon as he had a decent signal and told him he was coming to the base today. He got a response thirty minutes later confirming the appointment.

He thought he should probably contact Molly, but what would he say?

Last night, much like the day he’d first come to the Bar T Ranch, had shown him a glimpse of another life. He was tempted by it, by her, but his heart belonged to NASA, to exploring new worlds, discovering new places.

But he was tempted. For the first time since...well, since he’d first kissed her all those years ago.

As he drove on base at Johnson Space Center he still had that feeling of excitement he’d had the first time he’d set foot on the property. Being an astronaut had never become old hat to him—there was nothing routine about his life or about what he did for a living.

He was early for his appointment so he headed over to astronaut quarters. His apartment was in the Mercury building. He walked up the drive just as Hemi “Thor” Barrett was exiting.

“Ace, man, glad to see you. That was a short medical leave.” Hemi gave Ace a bro hug and stepped back. Hemi had been his right-hand man on many missions. Since the station was international they were often up there with astronauts from other countries and it was always nice to talk to someone from home. Hemi had on a pair of aviator-style sunglasses and his standard NASA-issued sweats.

“It’s not over, unfortunately, and I’m not here for long. But the situation is complicated and I don’t want to keep you,” Ace replied.

“You aren’t keeping me from anything except a five-mile run and I can do that any time before eight when I have a hot date. Is it coffee-or beer-complicated?”

“Beer, but it’s too early for that. Plus I’ve got a meeting with Dennis in thirty.”

“Walk and talk?” Hemi asked.

“Yeah...”

“So, besides exercising, what are you doing with your time?”

“Well, remember that ranch I grew up on?”

“Yeah, anyone who’s had to listen to your Conway Twitty CDs remembers it.”

Ace punched Hemi in the arm. “Watch it.”

“What’s up with the ranch?”

“I inherited half of it and I’m going to be there for a while straightening things out. Do you know much about the new Cronus training facility they’re talking about building?”

“Nah, just that they are looking to outsource it. Dennis isn’t happy about some of the bidders. He told us a few days ago that he didn’t like working with civilians. Why?”

Ace bit back a smile. That sounded just like Dennis. He liked everything military so no one questioned his orders. They’d reached the base headquarters and he and Hemi stopped in front of the program manager’s office.

“Drinks later? I want to hear what you’re up to. Or are you heading out after your appointment?” Hemi asked.

“I can do lunch,” Ace said.

“See you then.”

9

DESPITE HER DETERMINATION to join the hands for chores, Molly woke up late. Well, late for her. Her sleep had been plagued with haunting images of her ancestors frowning at her as she let the Abernathy family lease their land. She’d have no choice but to accept Wil’s offer if the bid for the training facility wasn’t successful.

She needed to do something to move their plan forward. She showered and got dressed and then looked at herself in the mirror and decided to leave her hair down today. She went downstairs to find Rina singing along to Beyoncé and cutting up meat to go in the slow cooker.

“Late night?” Rina asked as Molly went for the coffeepot.

“Yeah. Still not sleeping well,” Molly said. Last night had been different. She didn’t want to dwell on it as she knew Jason wasn’t long for Cole’s Hill and the Bar T Ranch. He’d be back up on missions as soon as he could make it happen, no matter what they decided to do with the ranch.

“Have you seen, Jason—I mean Ace—this morning?” she asked Rina.

Rina chuckled. “Yeah, that boy lit out of here early.”

“Oh? Did he say where he was going?” Molly asked.

“Nope. He wasn’t too sure he’d be back for dinner,” Rina said.

Figures.

He was gone already.

Molly took her coffee down the hall to the office to work on the books. Their finances looked just as bleak as the last time she’d gone over them. They needed a solution. Something that would bring an influx of cash to keep the ranch going. How long would the NASA bidding process take? Could she count on Jason to see it through? Was there anything she could do now to hurry it along?

Molly just knew if she leased the acres to Wil she was going to bring down a shitload of bad karma on herself. But she had to consider all her—their—options at this point.

She found the hair elastic that she kept in her pocket and pulled her hair up into a ponytail.

Rina brought in a tray with lunch and some sweet iced tea on it and placed it on the desk before plopping down in the guest chair. The chair was a dusty old recliner that her mom had told her dad to throw out years ago, but Mick had never been able to part with it.

“You’ve been in here a long time,” Rina said. “What’s up?”

“Just trying to decide how much bad karma I can handle if I make a deal with Wil Abernathy for part of the land.”

“That bad?”

“Worse. Remember that spa we went to up near New Braunfels last year?” she asked Rina. Sometimes she and the housekeeper, who was really more like a friend, would decide they’d had enough of all the testosterone on the ranch and declare it “girls’ weekend.”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you think people would pay to come out here and stay?” Molly asked. It was the only other idea she had that didn’t involve leasing part of the land.

“Maybe. We have the river and the pond is nice. Plus we could have trail riding out to the pond. Mick had talked about fixing the dock. The pond is already stocked so you could offer fishing,” Rina said.

Rina had some really good ideas and Molly jotted them down beside the ones she already had. Of course, she’d have to run them by her partner...if he came back. Jason seemed enthusiastic about the NASA bid, but there was more at stake for her and she had to keep an open mind.

“What’s the matter, sunshine? You look sad,” Rina asked.

“Just miss Dad,” she said.

“I do, too. I never thought I’d miss that cantankerous old coot, but I do. I wasn’t ready for our fights to end.”

Rina and her dad had fought like brother and sister. There was love under it, but they’d still both been stubborn and very sure they were always right. Rina was ten years younger than her dad. She was more of a surrogate aunt than a mom to Molly.

“Me, neither. I could use his stubbornness now, I think.”

Molly glanced down at the list and doodled Jason’s name on the top of it. “What am I going to do with him?”

“Nothing,” Rina said, following Molly’s train of thought. “Just do you. He’ll take care of himself. Isn’t he going back to NASA and on another mission soon?”

She drew a scroll pattern down the side of the paper. Doodled the words To boldly go underneath it, remembering Jason’s tattoo. His health was his business to discuss and so she just shrugged at Rina, but she was concerned. If his condition improved, would he still want to pursue his training-facility idea? It was clear he didn’t want to work on the ranch. Originally, he had wanted her to buy him out.

She added that to her list.

“I don’t want to have to mortgage any of the land. That was what Dad was trying to avoid when he borrowed money from Jason.”

“You can only play the cards you’re dealt. Your dad knew it and you do, too. Don’t try to do right by him. He’s gone and he wanted you to be happy. Do right by you, Molly. Does one option sound better to you than the others?”

“No. I don’t want people on our land. I want it to remain the way it always was...but I also wish Dad were here riding out checking fences and doing his chores.”

Rina stood up and came around the desk, leaning over to hug her, and Molly just turned her head to the side and hugged Rina back. Tears burned the back of her eyes and she felt more lost now than she ever had in her life. But there wasn’t another person who could make this decision for her. And as supportive as Rina was, she was an employee of the ranch like the hands. Molly knew she couldn’t screw this up. She brushed her hand over her eyes and shifted back.

“Thanks, Rina.”

“No problem, sunshine. You will figure this out. You always do.”

* * *

DENNIS LOCK HAD been an astronaut on the shuttle missions and had been Ace’s mentor since he was recruited by NASA. Ace trusted the older man and respected him. The news about Ace’s slow recovery hadn’t been easy for either of them. But it was all part of Dr. Tomlin’s research.

“You’re back pretty quick,” Dennis said. “I doubt your bone density has improved much in the last few days.”

Ace nodded as he shook his hand and then took a seat in one of the guest chairs.

“I’d be just as shocked as you if it had. I’m here for another reason. I have recently inherited half of a 760-acre ranch about an hour’s drive from here and we need to figure out what to do with the land. They only use about a third of it. I want to know more about the new Cronus facility. Has the bidding for that project closed yet?”

Dennis leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. He was in his early fifties and wore his salt-and-pepper hair in a military style. The former astronaut had been married and divorced three times while he’d still been active.

“Not yet. But it’s getting close,” Dennis said, pulling his keyboard toward him. “Are you thinking you want to bid on it?”

“Yes. It would be a solution to both of our problems,” Ace said. Molly and the Bar T would be secure and it was one way he’d be able to continue working with NASA no matter the outcome of his bone-density test in three months’ time.

“You won’t be able to pull together a winning bid on your own. You’ll need assistance from a defense subcontractor.”

“Do you know anyone?” Ace asked. “Or do you think this idea is bat-shit crazy?”

“I like it. You know I don’t want some yahoo who thinks it would be cool to be a part of NASA to get the bid. Or some billionaire who has always wanted to be the first person to own property on the moon.”

“Isn’t there a screening process designed to weed those out?” Ace asked. He heard the rancor in Dennis’ tone and knew the older man thought of these projects as almost sacred. Something that should only be pursued by men and women who are driven more by a love of exploration than a desire for commercial success.

“Sure. But there are some civilians with too much money who’ve never heard the word no. I like this idea, Ace. So Molly would be the liaison between the ranch and the facility and you’d...well, if you’re not on the missions, you could be part of the training staff. How long are you in Houston?”

“As long as I need to be,” he said. God, he hoped he was on one of the missions.

“Let me make a few calls to some old contracting friends. I’ll see if any are interested in partnering with you. Most of the qualified companies bidding have worked with us before and I know that your land is a prime location for this project. Is it just you? Are you able to make this decision on your own?”

“It’s not just me, but my partner has agreed to it,” Ace said.

“Good. That’s all I need for now.”

“I’m going to be on base for a little while. Text me if you hear anything.”

“I will. We need to get moving on this for you to have any chance in hell of getting your bid in on time. You’re cutting it close,” Dennis said. You’ll need to work with an experienced defense subcontractor. Everyone submits their bids on the deadline so your timing is good.”

He left the program manager’s office and stood there in the hot Texas sun. Even though it was May, summer was already on its way in Houston. He put on his sunglasses and acknowledged to himself that his health was the only reason why he’d ever thought of doing this.

He was going to find a way to stay involved in the Cronus program on his own terms. Dennis had offered to find a place for him on his management team, but Ace wasn’t ready to accept that he’d be grounded. He had been training to meet the physical challenges of extended spaceflight since he first heard about the mission parameters. And Dennis had done his best to help Ace out, giving him every opportunity to log as much space-time as he could.

Hemi pulled up in his ’69 Mustang. The man was a motorhead and spent a lot of his time between missions restoring the car.

“Hop in, Ace. I told the guys you were in town and we’re all meeting over at Rocket Fuel for wings and suds.”

Ace was glad Hemi had the top down because it didn’t encourage conversation. But they got caught in the lunchtime traffic of workers leaving the base and silence built around them.

“What did you talk to Dennis about?”

Ace filled him in about his plans for the ranch. He wasn’t ready to tell the whole base, but he trusted Hemi with his secrets and his life.

“Good. You’d be a great director for the new facility. But I still want you with me on our next mission. I’ve been thinking about your bone-density issue since you left. I mentioned it to my mom and she sent me—” he broke off to rummage around behind Ace’s seat “—this. It’s a diet that works to correct osteopenia. I know Doctor Tomlin’s on it already, but a little more help can’t hurt, right? I even ran it by the doc earlier.”

Ace took the email from Hemi and saw that Mona, Hemi’s mom, had addressed the body of the email to him.

He smiled as he read over all her notes. She was a holistic healer in California, where she lived with Hemi’s dad. And her advice was different from what the program’s medical personnel had given him.

“Thanks, man.”

“No problem. Mom’s afraid if I go up there without you, I’ll get into trouble,” he said.

Ace had saved Hemi one time during some equipment failure and the other man had never forgotten it. Hemi was the youngest in his family and they were all very protective of their “big warrior.”

“I guess everyone’s waiting to see if the doctor’s theories about how to fix this pan out,” Ace said while they were driving.

Hemi made a grunting noise under his breath. “You bet we are. You’re just one of the first who’s been out of Earth’s gravity that long, but we all need to know that the astronauts will be able to walk and function when they get to the way station and, later, to Mars.”

“Exactly. Even though NASA has green-lit the long-term space facility, and has the first long-term mission on the books, if Tomlin’s theories aren’t proven effective, it could mean...” He trailed off. He didn’t want to say it out loud. The end of the Cronus missions until some sort of solution was found. Everything was riding on Ace and the three other astronauts who had experienced the effects of prolonged exposure in space and were being monitored by the medical team.

“What about Candice? She’s been up there for nine months,” Hemi said.

“Tomlin and Dennis didn’t say. But I think she’s doing well. She’s due back on base next week,” Ace said. Candice O’Malley was one of the longest-serving female astronauts. The new astronaut classes were more gender-balanced than they had been even ten years earlier when he’d first gone to astronaut training school.

“I’ll talk to her when she’s back and text you,” Hemi said.

“Better to email. The ranch has a really spotty cell phone signal,” Ace said.

“That sucks.”

“Yes and no. It will be kind of nice to be on the back of a horse working with cattle or on the fence line and have nothing but that chore to focus on. Sort of like being in space. There is no pinging of my phone, no texts coming in fast and furious. Just me and the land.”

Hemi turned to look at him, leveling his steady dark gaze at Ace. “Dude, you are starting to sound like...a cowboy.”

“I guess I was always one. Just forgot. Dennis thought going back would be the best therapy for me. Give me a chance to do some different work that would build my strength.”

“I hope it works,” Hemi said. “Not just for you, Ace. I really want this long-term mission to be a go and I know that you and Candice are the ones they are looking at. Dev and Maury are already back in the training schedule, but they weren’t up there any longer than I’ve been.”

“I know,” Ace said. “Don’t talk about this too much.”

“I won’t,” Hemi said. “But most of our training group already has some idea of what is going on. Seeing you today will help them. I think they’re afraid you’re going to hobble in using a cane. Everyone is excited for the new missions and understands the associated risks, but you know it’s different to actually see them. And how you recover is going to affect everyone.”

“Well, there’s nothing to see here,” Ace said. He was the leader of this group of astronauts. Had been since Dennis had started pulling all of them together. Ace knew that today it was important to make each of them believe he was still going to lead them on the first Cronus mission.

Traffic started moving again and Ace realized that as much as the Bar T Ranch felt like home and Mick and Rina had been family, this was where his true family was. And as attracted as he was to Molly, as much as he wanted her, she didn’t know him the way Hemi and his fellow astronauts did. But as he ate lunch with the guys and listened to them talking, he also became very aware that his life had been one-dimensional for a long time. Just NASA. Just focused on training. He was surrounded by his astronaut family, but something was calling him back to the Bar T. It wasn’t the horses or the other hands... He missed Molly.

* * *

JEB DIDN’T SAY anything as she saddled her horse and they rode out to do the afternoon chores. When she’d been a teenager and she’d felt like she was going to scream from frustration at having to rush home from school to help with chores instead of hanging out in town with her friends, her dad had always assigned her to ride with Jeb. There was something calming about Jeb, steady and quiet. He was sure of himself and he rode with an easy grace that came from spending a lifetime in the saddle.

The ranch and ranching business had changed, but Jeb never would.

They fed the cattle and worked quietly alongside each other. And the tightness that had taken up residence in the pit of her stomach loosened. She let the peace of the day and the land wash over her. The sounds of the cattle and the horses.

The rhythm of life on the ranch worked magic on her troubled soul. That was why she never left for long. The land was part of her. She wondered if it was the same for Jason. If being up in his capsule in space soothed something deep inside of him.

Probably.

That was why he’d backed away in the kitchen last night. The sex had been amazing, better than even her steamiest dreams. But they were just having fun. She needed to remember that.

“I needed this,” she said to Jeb. There was something reassuring about doing the same chores she’d done for most of her life with Jeb by her side.

“I know.”

She shook her head. “Jason made a suggestion that I wasn’t expecting when we were at the lawyer’s yesterday...using the land for a NASA training facility.”

Jeb pushed his straw cowboy hat back on his head. “Say what?”

“I was surprised, too, but I think it could work. NASA would build the facility and we’d still run the ranch on this part of the land. The old bunkhouses would need to be updated—again on NASA’s dime—to house the trainees. What do you think?” she asked, realizing maybe she should have talked to Jeb before she’d signed off on the plan.

“Sounds... I’m not sure. I like the idea that we don’t have to play cowboys to a bunch of tourists, but a NASA training facility? What do we know about that?”

“Jason is the expert. He said NASA would hire the right people for the roles. Mostly we’d just liaise between the ranch and the facility. He’s going to manage most of the details.”

“I thought he was going back to space,” Jeb said.

“The work we do at the facility will help NASA to determine who goes and who doesn’t. It will provide the specialized training astronauts need for long-term missions. Something called Cronus. Jason would have to be evaluated and trained along with the other astronauts.”

She didn’t want to mention his health issue. It was his story to share if he wanted to.

“So, when will we know about this?”

“Soon, I think. In the meantime we should act as if we’re going to win the bid. You’ve already started clearing the land, which needs to happen regardless, but there’s more work that we’ll have to do.”

“I think the bunkhouses are going to take a while. There is a leak in the southern house. The one where some of the boys used to stay.”

“Rina’s brother is in construction. I’ll ask her to make a call. Maybe they can put their company’s name forward when NASA is ready to choose builders.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I need you to assign someone to show Jason the acreage that will be used for the facility. He didn’t spend much time in that part of the ranch when he lived here before.”

“Why don’t you show him?” Jeb asked, turning to gaze at the horizon.

“Because I’m busy,” she said.

“All right, missy, no need to bite my head off,” Jeb said.

“Sorry. I’m just...”

“It’s fine. He always did rattle you.”

Jeb rode off before she could say anything else. But what would she have said? No, he doesn’t... Jason made her crazy. Not the good kind, either. Except for last night.

She wished... Why had she been so curt with him when they got back?

Because she’d felt him slipping away.

And it was easier to back away herself than to be the one who was holding on. The one who wanted more than the other was willing to give. She’d done love once. Been burned so badly that she’d retreated here and kept her distance from men ever since.

She needed to remember that. She didn’t want to be back at heartbreak hotel again. Rina had patched her up the last time and Molly had vowed she’d be smarter and stronger if she ever met a man she liked again. But it seemed that her heart didn’t care about common sense.

She hadn’t counted on Jason McCoy. Hadn’t figured he’d ever walk through her door again, but here he was. Making plans and promises, and she was just following along. Letting her battered heart hope she could handle whatever the future held.

10

MOLLY WASN’T HAVING the best day. She had thought she’d do anything to save the ranch, but not knowing what was going to happen was making her edgy. She loved the land and had never realized how much she needed it to stay the way it always had been.

Jason wasn’t really helping. He had called once in the three days since he’d left to tell her he had gone to Houston and was on his way to San Diego to meet with a defense subcontractor. He made a few bid-related requests. He was all business. How much plainer did things need to be before she got the message? Even though he was trying to move their plan forward, the short call had left her feeling confused and angry. Not at all what she’d expected after their night together.

She wondered if she’d made a huge mistake by partnering with him and starting down this crazy path that would—if he had his way—lead him away from her.

Now, in the middle of her daily tour of the ranch property, she heard odd sounds and she brought Thunder to a stop. Not construction sounds, but something repetitive. Strange. As far as she knew, the hands were working elsewhere. The zoning commissioner had stopped by earlier to make sure they could use their land for the NASA facility if the bid was successful, but she was gone now.

Molly dismounted her horse and dropped the reins. knowing Thunder would stay, and then walked closer to the old homestead. It was a ramshackle house that the first Tanner to live on the Bar T had built. He’d brought his mail-order bride to the house. Even though it was in a sad state of disrepair, the beams were still solid and one day Molly hoped to renovate it.

Maybe with the profits from the NASA project, she would.

She wanted to be optimistic about the training facility, but she felt torn. She knew at the heart of her mixed feelings was the knowledge that whatever came of the project, Jason would do everything in his power to get back to active duty. To leave her behind, maybe for good.

She rounded the trail and stopped in her tracks.

The source of the sounds was Jason.

Shirtless, with sweat on his torso, he hefted one of the heavy railroad ties that had originally been part of the front porch over his head. He held it there for a count of twelve, his muscles bulging, and she heard him cursing as he counted. Not using the old one-Mississippi but instead one-fucking-damn.

She bit her lower lip to keep from smiling, and as he squatted to lower the beam she stayed where she was. His faded blue jeans rode low on his hips. When he stooped to pick up the beam again the fabric pulled tight against his backside.

Lord, he had a great ass.

He lifted, counting again, muscles straining. She realized that she was watching Ace, not Jason. This man was going on the Cronus missions. He was clearly determined to increase his bone density, whatever it took. She couldn’t believe the strength he already possessed.

He had just returned, but he was going to leave her.

She tried to turn to walk away, but her boot heel caught on some trail debris and she let out a shriek as she lost her balance and fell on her backside. Legs and arms akimbo, she wished just once she could have a little bit of grace.

Jason turned, slowly lowering the railroad tie to the ground. He wiped his face where beads of sweat had formed and then sauntered over to her like a man who knew he owned her, body and soul.

She wanted to deny it, even if just to herself, but she knew she couldn’t. She pushed herself to her feet and waited for him to get closer. The scent of his earthy musk mingled with his spicy aftershave. She put her hand up, not even pretending she was doing anything other than touching his bulging pecs. He flexed the padded muscles of his chest under her hand.

“Spying on me?”

“Actually, I didn’t realize you’d come back.”

“But you found me anyway,” he said.

“I did,” she admitted. “God, you are hot.”

“I am sweaty. Is that gross?” he asked.

On any other guy, probably, but on him...no. Not even close.

Molly couldn’t resist rubbing her thumb over his flat brown nipple. His eyes widened and his lips parted.

“I’m guessing you don’t mind.”

Molly didn’t want to talk. She was mad at him. Still. Even more upset with herself for letting him get to her. She’d missed him. She wanted them to have sex again. She’d even gone to see her doctor after that night in her truck and got a prescription for the pill so she wouldn’t have to worry about a condom. She figured all the medical tests Jason had been through recently would have turned up any sexually transmitted diseases. And he was the first man she’d been with in a long time.

She stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling his mouth down to hers. Her tongue brushed his and she closed her eyes without meaning to. She felt him shaking slightly, his control slipping.

She wanted more and refused to deny herself. She took her hand in his, linking their fingers together. His hand in hers was solid and strong.

The sun shone brightly down on them, warming them as he led her toward the shade provided by a large oak tree. Underneath she noticed his sleeping bag.

“So you haven’t just returned from San Diego. You’ve been hiding out,” she said.

“Not hiding...just giving you some space,” he said.

“I don’t need space, Jason,” she admitted.

“What do you need?” he asked.

“You.”

He drew her into his arms from behind. His head rested on her shoulder and his big hands spanned her waist. She stood completely still, feeling the heat of his body against hers. They fit perfectly together.

He turned her in his arms, keeping his hands at her waist. He gave her a half smile before he leaned in closer.

“You have a very tempting mouth,” he said softly, his breath brushing her lips. “It’s all can think about.”

“Really?”

“Yes. No matter how many weights I lift or how hard I drive my body, exhaustion doesn’t seem to quell my need for you.”

Then, his mouth was on hers. He took his time kissing her, rubbing his lips lightly over hers. She wanted more and opened her mouth to invite him closer. He tasted so...delicious.

She swept her tongue into his mouth and he met her thrusts with his own. Then he closed his teeth carefully over her tongue and sucked. She shivered and went up on her tiptoes to get closer to him.

His taste was addicting and she wanted more. Yes, she thought, she wanted much more of him, not just his kisses.

She put her hands on his shoulders and then moved them higher to rub his scalp. His short hair was soft and smooth under her palms.

His hands drifted to her shoulders, and then past them, his fingers tracing a delicate pattern over her breasts. One brushed the edge of her nipple.

Exquisite shivers racked her body as his finger continued to move slowly over her. He found the buttons and undid them slowly. Once her top was fully unfastened and the material fell away from her, he pushed it down her arms to the ground, taking her wrists in his hands and stepping back.

She was proud of her body and worked hard to stay in shape, and she was very glad of that as he looked at her. His gaze started at the top of her head and moved down her neck and chest to her waist.

His hands followed his gaze, unfastening her bra and drawing it away from her chest. He dropped it to the ground before he wrapped his hands around her waist, lifting her. “Wrap your legs around me.”

She did and immediately she was surrounded by him. His hands were on her butt, his mouth was on her breasts and he suckled her gently. Nibbling at her nipples as he massaged her backside. When he took one nipple into his mouth, she felt everything inside of her tighten and her center grow moist.

Then he laid her down on the soft sleeping bag and knelt over her. His mouth... She couldn’t even think. She could only feel the sensations that were washing over her as he continued to focus on her breasts.

One of his heavy thighs parted her legs and then he was between them. She felt the ridge of his cock rubbing against her core and she shifted to increase the sensation.

She wanted to touch him, had to hold him to her as he kissed his way from her breasts down to her belly button. He looked up at her and for a moment when their eyes met there was something in his that alarmed her. He wanted her, but he didn’t want to want her, she thought.

She only let it disturb her for a second before he lowered his head again and nibbled at the skin of her belly, his tongue moving around the indentation of her belly button. Each time he dipped his tongue in, her clit tingled.

His mouth moved lower on her, his hands going to the waistband of her jeans, undoing the button and then slowly lowering the zipper. She felt the warmth of his breath on her lower belly and then the edge of his tongue as he traced the skin revealed by the opening.

His lips felt soft and smooth against her. She moaned a little, afraid to say his name out loud. Afraid he’d hear how much she needed him, wanted him...cared for him.

“Lift your hips,” he said.

She planted her feet on the sleeping bag, doing as he’d asked, and felt him draw her jeans over her hips and down her thighs. She was left wearing the tiny black thong she’d put on that morning.

He palmed her through the fabric and she squirmed.

He gave it to her. Running his fingers under her panties to skim her damp flesh. Then he pulled her underwear down with his teeth. He leaned back on his knees and just stared down at her.

“You are exquisite,” he said.

His voice was low and husky and made her blood flow heavier in her veins. Everything about this man seemed to make her hotter and hornier than she’d ever been before.

“It’s you,” she said in a raspy voice. “You are the one who is making me...”

“I am making you,” he said. “And I’m not going to be happy until you come harder than you ever have before.”

She shuddered at the impact of his words. She felt them all the way through her body. He lowered his head again and rubbed his chin over her. The stubble brushing against her sensitive clit was sweet torment.

He parted her with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand and she felt the air against her flesh and then the pressure of his tongue. It was so firm and wet and she squirmed again, wanting—no, needing—more from him.

He scraped his teeth over her and she almost came right then, but he lifted his head and smiled up her body at her. It was becoming clear that Jason was the kind of lover who wanted to draw out the experience.

She gripped his shoulders as he teased her with his mouth and then she tunneled her fingers through his hair, holding him closer as she lifted her hips. He moaned against her and the sound tickled her clit and sent chills racing through her body.

One hand traced the opening of her body. Those large deft fingers made it impossible to stay still. Her breasts felt full and her nipples were tight as he pushed just the tip of his finger inside of her.

The first ripples of her orgasm started to pulse through her, but he pulled back again, lifting his head and moving down her body, nibbling at the flesh of her legs. She was aching for him.

“Jason...”

“Yes?” he asked, lightly stroking her lower belly and then moving both hands to cup her breasts.

“I need more.”

“You will get it,” he said.

“Now.”

He shook his head. “That’s not the way to get what you want. I’m in charge this afternoon, Molly.”

She was shivering with the need to come and wanted his big body moving over hers. Wanted his cock inside of her. She reached between them and stroked him through his pants, then slowly lowered the tab of the zipper. He caught her wrist and raised her hand above her head.

“That’s not what I had in mind,” she said.

He lowered his body over hers so the muscled hardness of his chest brushed her breasts. Then, his thigh was between her legs, moving slowly against her engorged flesh, and she wanted to cry out as everything in her tightened just a little bit more.

She writhed against him, but he just slowed his touch so that the sensations were even more intense than before. He shifted again and she felt the warmth of his breath against her clit. She opened her eyes to look down at him and this time she knew she saw something different. But she couldn’t process it because his mouth was on her.

He plunged a finger deep inside her at the same time and she moaned his name. The first wave of orgasm rolled through her body.

Her hips jerked forward. She felt the moisture between her legs and his finger pushing hard against her G-spot. She was shivering and her entire body was convulsing, but he didn’t lift his head. He kept sucking and driving her harder and harder until she came again, screaming with her orgasm as stars danced behind her eyelids.

Pleasure overcame her. It was more than she could process and she had to close her eyes. She reached for Jason, needing some sort of comfort after that storm of pleasure, but he was gone.

She was still shivering and her pulse was racing as she opened her eyes and found him staring right into them and leaning back. She reached for his zipper and freed him. Took him into her hands and then drew him forward as she parted her legs.

“Damn. I don’t have a condom.”

“I’m on the pill,” she said. The words were raw, needy and husky.

He shifted his hips and plunged deep into the heart of her. She wrapped her legs and arms around him. Held on as tightly as she could. Hoped he’d never realize just how much she wanted him. And not just for the afternoon...

11

FIVE WEEKS PASSED quickly on the ranch after their afternoon of hot sex. Keeping busy, Jason and Molly hadn’t seen much of each other, except when they needed to discuss business. Jason was working with Jeb and Andy, the ranch hand that Jeb had assigned to him. The land had been cleared and next week they’d hear about their bid. Dennis had been tight-lipped about it. But Lynn, who was the director of Axiom Space Systems—the defense subcontractor Ace had met in San Diego whom they’d decided to partner with—said that was normal. Her people thought their bid was strong and that they would be awarded the contract. But there was no way to know until next week.

Jason had been working out and eating more healthy than he normally did, but his body had to be in the best shape possible for the medical evaluation that was scheduled in another six weeks. Three months had seemed like an eternity originally, but it was flying by. Well, the days were. The nights were long. Plagued with dreams of Molly and those damned long legs of hers. He woke up hard and sweating every night. He knew all he had to do was walk down the hall and knock on her door...but he was afraid of what her reaction to be.

And he wasn’t sure what scared him more, the possibility of her turning him away or inviting him in.

She’d changed him. Woken something that he’d never realized was inside of him. And for the first time in his life he was conflicted about NASA. He’d never been afraid of anything before, but now he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know if he wanted to go back to space, to leave her for eighteen months. He was starting to think of himself as Jason again, not Ace. So he’d stayed in his own bed, fire burning inside of him each night, making him hungrier for her each day.

“There’s a call for you on the ranch phone,” Andy said as he bounced to a stop next to him on the Mule. The Mule was an all-terrain vehicle similar to the one Mick had been driving when he’d had his accident.

“Can I call them back?” Jason asked. “It’s going to take a while for me to return to the house.”

“No. It’s urgent. That’s why I’m here. I’ll take care of your horse. You take the Mule.”

Andy got out of the ATV and Jason got in. He drove it expertly across the bumpy ground. It wasn’t that different from some of the training he’d done at NASA for maneuvering vehicles on foreign surfaces. This was one of part of the program that the ranch was going to develop to get astronauts ready for Mars.

If the call was urgent...well, he’d better get there as quickly as he could. He drove past the barn where he normally would have parked the Mule and pulled up to the house.

He hopped out of the vehicle and bounded up the steps.

Molly and Rina stopped talking as he entered the kitchen. Molly had her hair up and he flashed back to when he’d kissed her neck. That sweet spot where her pulse had been beating so strongly. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, but her lips looked full and her mouth so...addicting. He was going to crack, unable to resist the lure of Molly much longer.

The worst part was that she wasn’t doing anything. She was just being friendly...

“I have a call?”

“Yes. It’s Dennis Lock. He said it was urgent,” she said. “You can take it on the extension in the den.”

“Thanks,” he said, walking past both women down the hall to Mick’s den. As he entered he realized the room was slowly becoming Molly’s. There were little touches that hadn’t been there when it had been Mick’s domain.

Things like a scented candle on the credenza. And the pile of papers that had always been stacked precariously on the edge of the desk had been cleared off. A framed picture of Molly and Mick had taken its place.

Jason wiped his hands on his jeans before leaning on the desk and lifting the handset.

“McCoy here.”

“Ace. Took long enough. One thing we have to do once you win the bid is get a cell tower put in. It feels like the dark ages when I have to call a landline.”

Jason smiled to himself, suppressing a chuckle. “It is a different world out here.”

“I bet. I have two pieces of news. The decision has been made for the facility and my sources said I’ll be happy. You should hear something informal today. I’d call Lynn.”

“Will do, sir. What’s the other news?” he asked.

“I need you back here for an interim medical evaluation. They are pressuring us to name a commander for the first mission and I want it to be you. Doctor Tomlin needs to see if you are making enough progress.”

Jason rubbed his chest as, for the first time, he worried he might not be physically able. His body was the one thing he’d always taken for granted. Even when his mom had died and he’d been left on his own, he’d been healthy.

“Okay. What if I’m not?”

“Don’t even think it,” Dennis said.

“You’ll have to name someone else, won’t you?”

There was silence on the line for a long minute and Jason felt a burst of anger. Dammit.

“Hemi’s good,” Jason said finally.

“He is, but he’s not ready. Not yet. I want you, Ace. But we won’t send you to space if we can’t bring you back whole.”

“Fair enough. I can’t get down to Houston today. Can I come tomorrow?”

“Yes. Call Lynn first and then Tomlin. She’s going to want to set up a series of exercises and tests.”

Dennis finished the call and Ace hung up the phone but didn’t leave the room. He didn’t make the other calls he needed to make. He glanced down at his body. He’d been working out every day and he felt like he was in the best shape of his life. But he had no idea if his bone density had improved. Hell. He wanted to punch something. He wanted...

There was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?”

“Molly.”

Yeah, that was what he wanted.

* * *

MOLLY HAD KEPT Jason at arm’s length as much as possible during the last five weeks, burying herself in work. Done the smart thing. But she wasn’t too sure how much longer she could do it. Hence, standing outside her own den door, knocking.

She’d seen the look on Jason’s face when Dennis’s name had been mentioned. She thought they’d have a little more time before NASA made a decision about the facility, so maybe instead this was...news about Jason and the space program.

She’d stood outside this door more than once. When she’d set herself on fire in the barn, Dad had taken her to town for emergency treatment and then when she’d come home and was healthy again, he’d told her to meet him here. She’d known she was in trouble...

This time it was Jason in trouble. Not her. She felt it. She had no idea what kind of news he’d gotten, but she heard banked anger in his voice on the phone and she told herself it wasn’t her problem.

She could just walk away and no one would blame her. Jason wouldn’t blame her or expect anything else from her, but she couldn’t do that. No matter how much she’d been trying to think of their lovemaking as sexy fun, she cared about him. Always had.

She’d spent most of her teenaged years pretending that he was just another one of her dad’s boys. But he never had been. She couldn’t lie about that. Her heart wasn’t fickle.

She opened the door. He sat there on the edge of her desk. The look he gave her was desperate and dark.

It hadn’t been good news.

Of course, it hadn’t. Good news wasn’t usually urgent.

“Want to talk?”

He shook his head.

“Want to be alone?” she asked.

“No. Molly, I don’t want to be alone,” he said slowly, emphasizing each word.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“You. No more pretending. Can you do that? If not, turn around and leave. Give me some time to get my head back to the polite place I’ve been in for the last few weeks,” he said.

She stood there. She should walk away. That would be the smart thing to do. This wasn’t the sweet Jason who seduced her with barbecue sandwiches and stories. This was a man who was broken and he needed something raw from her.

God, she wanted to give it to him. She wasn’t going to leave him alone. She closed the door behind her and then leaned against it, her hands behind her back.

He looked down at the floor.

“Leave, Molly. I’m not the nicest guy right now.”

“I can’t,” she admitted. “I’ve been trying to pretend that all the little things that make you the man you are haven’t affected me, but they have. I can’t keep ignoring it.”

He lifted his head and in those light blue eyes of his she saw so much emotion. Anger, agony, fear and need.

Focus on the need, she told herself and subtly locked the door behind her as she took a step forward. Rina sometimes just let herself in and Molly didn’t want to be interrupted. Not now.

She toed off her boots, noticed that Jason shifted on the desk to face her. “What are you doing?”

“Not leaving.”

“I can see that.”

“Well, I think you’re smart enough to figure out what I’m doing...”

She tugged off her socks, too, and stopped where she was. “Unless you really do want me to leave.”

“No. Don’t go.”

He opened his arms and she smiled at him.

She pulled her T-shirt up over her head and tossed it aside, hearing his breath catch.

She stopped to look at him. He’d said he liked her appearance and in his eyes she read the truth of those words. The way he watched her was the way...well, the way she’d seen men look at underwear models.

She felt the power of being a woman. At this moment she held Jason captive and she wanted to make the moment last. She wanted to make him forget whatever was troubling him.

“Like this?”

“I do. I’d like it better if you took off your bra,” he said.

“I might. But first you are going to have to show me something. Maybe that strong chest of yours.”

“You like my muscles?”

“I do. They turn me on. And when I see you flex your biceps...it takes my breath away.”

“It does?” he asked, slowly undoing the buttons of his work shirt and letting the sides fall open.

He left the shirt on with just about two inches of lean masculine chest visible. Her fingers tingled with the need to touch him and she took a step closer. She was trying to be seductive, but she didn’t want to wait any longer. The truth was, she knew what she wanted. And it wasn’t all this distance between them.

He held his hand up. “Wait. Take your hair down.”

She reached up, pulled the hair tie free and shook her head as her hair fell around her shoulders. She took another step forward.

He just watched her. His eyes were half closed, but she knew she held all of his attention. She put her hand in the center of his chest. He had a light dusting of hair there and she ran her fingers through it. She pushed on his chest and he leaned back on his elbows, causing his shirt to fall away from his body. She reached underneath it, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head over his heart. Just for a minute she wanted the comfort of his body. Then the heat that flowed between them demanded her attention. This wasn’t about comfort. This was about raw need. Just Molly and Jason and nothing else.

She pushed his shirt down his arms and he sat up to shrug out of it, then tossed it aside. Pressing him back until he was sitting on the desk, she climbed onto his lap. She tunneled her fingers through his close-cropped hair, drawing his mouth toward hers. Then she sucked his bottom lip between her teeth and kissed him slowly. Taking her time to explore him.

She shifted back, resting her butt on his thighs as she nibbled her way down his neck and chest. His nipples were flat and hard. He caught her hand, lifted it to his mouth and kissed the center of it. Shivers spread up her arm causing her own nipples to harden.

He reached behind her with his other hand and unfastened her bra. He took her hand, the one he’d just kissed, and placed it over her own breast. It felt exotic and turned her on to feel her own nipple hardening under her palm as he guided her hand.

She shifted on his lap and, reaching around his back with her other hand, feathered her fingers up and down his spine, dipping them beneath the waistband of his jeans to touch the slight indents at the top of his firm ass.

He arched his back and she felt his erection growing between them. She repositioned again so she could rub her center over the ridge of his cock as she kissed him. He kept moving their hands over her breast and she responded to that touch, rubbing herself more fully against him.

He moaned and she smiled to herself as his hips jerked forward slightly. She used her free hand to reach between them and unfasten his jeans, drawing the zipper carefully down over his erection.

He put his hands on her waist and lifted her off him, setting her on her feet next to the desk. He stood up next to her and undid her jeans, pushing them and her panties slowly down her legs. Then he moved behind her and slipped her bra straps over her shoulders, letting it fall to the ground.

She glanced back at him. Let her eyes move slowly down his body. He was so strong and muscled everywhere. He was thick and proud. She tried to turn, to reach for him, but he stopped her. He tangled one of his hands in her hair and nudged her forward. She leaned on the desk, arching her back as he hovered over her. She felt his lips on the back of her neck and then he nibbled his way down her back, still holding her hair in one of his hands.

She shifted, pressing back toward him, hoping to feel his cock against her, but he kept his hips back. His free hand traveled down the side of her breast, making her nipple bead. She squirmed, desperate for more contact, but he just moved his hand farther down the side of her body.

She felt his fingers on her butt cheek, grabbing and squeezing. She was wet and needy. More ready for him than she’d ever been for any man.

She tried to turn her head, but he held her where she was. She felt him against her back as he leaned over her. He whispered dark, sexy words into her ear, telling her in detail everything he wanted to do to her. And then she felt him poised at the entrance of her body.

He grunted and she gasped in pleasure as he penetrated her in one swift move, pushing forward until he was fully seated. He was so deep. She moaned and tightened around him.

He drew his hips back and entered her again, harder this time. She met his thrust, pressing back from the desk so that their hips slammed together, bringing him even deeper.

He braced one hand next to her head on the desk and she bit his wrist as he pulled back and then starting thrusting, his powerful legs and hips and his long, hard cock driving her higher and higher, closer to her climax. His hand twisted in her hair and she cried out his name as her orgasm took her by surprise.

He picked up speed, losing control as he continued thrusting, the friction exciting her all over again. She heard her name on his lips and felt him empty himself inside her as a second orgasm washed over her. He collapsed on her back. Keeping his weight off her, he dropped soft kisses between her shoulder blades and she lay there, let her eyes close.

He didn’t say anything, just held her in his arms and that was all she needed. Or at least she was going to pretend that was enough. But she knew she wasn’t going to want to sleep alone now. Whatever happened with Jason and his future, she needed more of this...more of him.

12

“WANT TO TALK?” Molly asked as they were sitting in the large tub in her bathroom en suite.

“No,” he said. “But we probably should.”

“That isn’t very reassuring,” she said.

He rubbed her arm, unable to stop himself from touching her. They’d gathered their clothes from the den and had run up the stairs and into her room like naughty kids. The bathtub had seemed a logical place to end up together. She was leaning on his chest, their feet propped up on the other end of the tub. Her feet with their purple toenails looked especially tiny between his larger ones.

Reassuring... He wasn’t sure he had ever known how to be that man, but right now he wasn’t feeling it. He was more lost than he’d been after the first evaluation.

“Good news first.”

“Okay,” she said.

“We might have won the bid for the facility,” he said. “I’m supposed to call Lynn. Dennis got some insider news that he’d be happy with the winner of the bid. He thinks that means us.”

“Good,” she said. “Jeb is getting pretty excited about the facility and the land’s ready for construction now.”

“Yeah. He told me that if he’d been better at science, he would have tried to become an astronaut. Flying’s in his blood. His old man was a fighter pilot in Vietnam.”

“Really?” Molly asked. “I never knew that.”

Jason knew he was stalling, but he didn’t want to say out loud that he might not make the cut for the program. That his space dreams might be over when they’d barely started. And he knew that wasn’t fair. He’d spent way more time among the stars than most other astronauts had, but he wanted more. He needed more.

Molly put her hand on his wrist, drew it up her body and kissed his knuckles. “Just say it. Whatever your bad news is. It’s not going to get better keeping it to yourself.”

She was right. He knew that, but once he said it... “Dennis is being pressured to name the commander for the first mission. He wants me, but I’m still grounded. He asked me to come to Houston and take a slew of tests to see if I’ve made improvements. If I have, he will push back, say he wants me and that I’m recovering.”

“If not, he’ll name someone else,” she said, filling in the rest. “That sucks. So when do you have to go?”

“Tomorrow. I’ve done everything I can.”

“I know. What’s the process?” she asked.

“Usually, they have us do a series of blood tests and then spend many hours in a specialized room where they can see how being in a zero gravity simulation affects the body.”

Molly turned in the tub so she could face him. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

“At least you’ll know,” she said.

“I don’t want to,” he said at last. “I wanted the full three months so that I could be further along in my recovery from the yearlong mission.”

“What can you do?” she asked.

“Nothing. Dennis said it best—they don’t want to bring me back in pieces.” Jason was trying to make it sound like a joke, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to give up on being a part of the Cronus missions.

She shook her head. “It’s not funny.”

“I know. If I don’t laugh, I think I’m going to cry.”

“Do you want me to go to Houston with you?” she asked.

He hadn’t thought of bringing anyone along. All of his adult life he’d been on his own. By choice, he realized, because Mick might have been more involved in his life if he’d asked him. “I would like that. Can you be away from the ranch?”

“I don’t see why not. Jeb says I get in his way.”

Jason could imagine Jeb saying that, but they both knew how important her work on the ranch was. “I won’t be able to spend much time with you. I mean, I’ll be in the testing facility for the most part.”

“It’s okay. I want to see the space center and do some more research on the kind of training we’ll be providing if our bid goes through. When are we going to call Lynn?”

“Not until we get out of this tub. Are you excited about the facility?”

She turned back around, settling against his chest once again. “I am. It’s different and we haven’t done anything new here in forever.”

“Nervous at all?”

“I’m more nervous about going to Houston with you.”

He squeezed her close. “Why?”

“Everyone will know we’re together,” she said. “Or assume it. And you know how the ranch is...so gossipy. Once you leave—”

“If I leave. This is going to be the trip that makes the difference, Molly. This test will decide my future.”

She tipped her head back to look up at him. “You will decide your future. The test is going to just point out the possibilities.”

“That’s very wise,” he said.

“Dad said the same thing to me. When I dropped out of college, I said, ‘I guess I have no choice except ranching.’ He told me I had the same choices I’d always had. I’d simply eliminated one possibility.”

Mick had been such a good dad, Jason thought. As long as he’d known him, the older man had always had a long vision of the future. It was hard to imagine the world without him in it, but Mick lived on in Molly and in everyone whose life he’d touched.

“I miss him. I could use his advice right now,” Jason said.

“He’d say something ambiguous and make you think he’d told you something wise,” she said. “Then you’d make your decision and he’d nod like you were the smartest person in the world. God, I miss that. He could make me feel like I’d chosen correctly with one nod.”

“Because you knew he had your back,” Jason said.

“Exactly. Well, whatever happens, I have your back, Ace.”

* * *

“THAT MEANS MORE than you can know,” he said.

She didn’t elaborate. Didn’t tell him she wanted him to stay. Even when she’d been keeping her distance, every moment he’d been back on the Bar T had just made her fall a little more for him. There was something about Jason. It wasn’t good looks—though he was very handsome in a rugged, sexy sort of way. It was something deeper.

The way he’d jumped right in and taken on all the ranch’s problems and helped her come up with a plan. Granted, it was a plan she couldn’t have executed without him, but he’d done something. He hadn’t just stood by and waited to see what she could do.

She hadn’t needed him to save her, but it was nice to have him by her side. She guessed some might say she was projecting the feelings she’d had for her dad onto Jason. Though she didn’t really know him any better than she had when he’d left the ranch as a teenager, she knew that there was more between them.

A lot more. And it wasn’t just the sex, even if that was amazing.

“What will you do if you can’t go back into space?” she asked. His hands were moving restlessly on her body, almost as if he was absently caressing her.

“I haven’t thought much about it. I think Dennis would give me a role in management if I wanted it, or I could take on more responsibility training the other astronauts at the facility.”

“Would you do that?” To her it seemed like the worst kind of torture for him to be close to something he wanted but would never be able to have.

“I guess. I can’t imagine being grounded permanently.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be. I haven’t taken the medical yet.”

* * *

THE WATER HAD started to cool, but Ace didn’t want to let Molly go. Not yet. He stood up, lifting her with him and put her on her feet next to the tub.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not ready to get out yet, but it’s getting cold,” he said.

He bent over to drain and then refill the tub. He felt her fingers tracing the last part of his tattoo, the word go. “You are very bold,” she said.

“Why?”

“Because you test your limits in space, for everyone’s benefit. You don’t let anything stand in your way, do you?”

“Not for the things I love,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at her.

She was gazing at his side, biting her lower lip, and her fingers were lightly moving over him. She looked...sad again. He had made it clear from the beginning that he had one foot in this world on the ranch and the other in his gravity boots, ready for the next mission, but that didn’t make it any easier for her, he imagined. He knew it wasn’t easy for him.

“You don’t love very much, do you?” she asked, glancing up, blushing when she realized he was watching her.

“No. I’m discerning. A bit like you, I’d say.”

She nodded, dropping her hand to walk over to the shelf where she kept the scented bath salts. He considered it lucky that he wasn’t going to Houston until tomorrow. Her salts and bubble bath were both lavender-scented. And while the smell was soothing, he didn’t even want to contemplate the ribbing he’d get from the other guys if he showed up smelling like flowers.

She dumped a small handful of the salts in the bath and then looked over at him.

“What?”

How could he put into words that just watching her move turned him on? The last five weeks had been long. Too long. He had dreamed of her each night and had then been tortured during the day as he’d watched her just going about her routine. There was something inherently sexy about everything she did.

He shrugged.

He didn’t want to say anything that would make the situation between them even more impossible than it already was.

He wanted her. He liked her. He wanted to protect her. But he was leaving. No matter what, he was going to find a way to go on the Cronus missions and if he let her get any closer, it would be harder to leave.

He flicked off the faucets as the water reached the correct level and then turned his back on her. Didn’t want to look into her eyes with that knowledge in his own.

He held his hand out to her and she took it hesitantly.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. If he said it enough, maybe the words would eventually become true. Faking it. He’d been faking it for so long, trying to be like the men who had inspired him. Like Mick, here on the ranch—acting like there wasn’t anything he didn’t know. Like Dennis at the space center—pretending that nothing about the universe and the unknown scared him. And...well, like every image of the perfect lover, for her. He wanted to give her everything when inside he wasn’t sure he had that much to give.

“Kiss me,” he said. He needed to be lost in her. Lost in her kiss, which had the power to make him stop thinking and just feel alive and complete. He felt like he was enough when she was in his arms.

She stepped closer, pressing her naked body to his and wrapping her arms around his torso. Leaning back for a moment, she kissed the center of his chest then moved to the left, tracing his tattoo with her tongue. Then she looked up at him. Their eyes met and he realized he wasn’t fooling her.

The expression in her eyes seemed as ageless as the land the Bar T sat on and as vast as the universe he wanted to explore. Sometimes he honestly felt like everything he’d ever been searching for was found in her.

“You boldly go,” she said. “Don’t forget that, Ace. You came from the streets and made it to the stars. Nothing is going to keep you grounded. Not your bone-density problems, not this ranch and, I promise you, not me.”

He couldn’t speak as emotions grabbed him by the throat. He tangled his hands in her hair and brought his mouth down hard on hers. The kiss was intense and powerful. A punishment, because she saw too much of him. Saw too clearly what he didn’t want anyone to see. But there was no hiding from Molly.

Holy hell. When had she slipped past his guard? When had that happened?

Her fingernails dug into his side and she bit his tongue lightly, returning the fervor of the embrace.

He pulled his head back, looked down into her eyes and wished he hadn’t. The intensity in her gaze made him realize that she already cared more than was wise.

He wished for a minute that he was a different person. The kind who could see this health thing as a chance to change directions, but he wasn’t that man. He’d given his soul to NASA a long time ago and he realized that Molly was okay with that. She knew who he was and she expected him to break her heart.

That should be enough to make him leave the bathroom en suite right now. Get dressed, head to Houston and never come back. That kind of unconditional acceptance would have scared him before—it still sort of did—but what Molly couldn’t know was that he felt an equal draw to her. So instead he put his hands on that tiny waist of hers and lifted her off her feet.

He put her down in the deep tub that was filled with bubbles and smelled like summer. Like a summer that wouldn’t end but was flying by. It had been just over six weeks since he’d first arrived at the ranch; in six more weeks this would be over. He got in, too, and sat down, the water rising to his chest and sloshing over the sides as he cradled her in his arms. She kissed his arm lightly. He wanted her, wanted the sunshine of Molly and not just the vastness he’d always used to define who he was.

She shifted more, but he held her where she was. He wanted this time with her to last forever. This moment when everything was still possible. She was curled against him and, when she moved her legs, he felt her thigh brush his cock and his blood started to feel as if it were flowing more heavily in his veins.

In response, she turned around to straddle him. She watched him with those serious eyes of hers. And he realized that, though she’d said she was lost six weeks ago, she wasn’t anymore.

She had found her peace in the land around them. While he’d been running and planning, she’d found her strength.

She put her hands on his shoulders and twined her legs around his body, locking her ankles behind him.

“This is better. I can see you,” she said.

“How is that better?” he asked.

“I want to know what’s going on with you. I want to see your face when I move against you. I need to know that I affect you the same way you affect me.”

With that, she took the loofah sponge from the pretty porcelain bath tray and submerged it. Bringing it up, she rubbed it over his chest, then from shoulder to shoulder and down his sternum.

She followed the line of hair on his chest until it disappeared under the water. Somehow the loofah got lost. Instead, he felt her fingers on his abdomen and then lower, rubbing his cock until it was hard and he wanted something other than her hands on him.

His hands were restlessly moving up and down her body. Caressing that scar on the inside of her thigh and then moving higher. He loved the way her hips felt as he used both hands to squeeze her and move her on his lap. The tip of his cock brushed against her center, but he took his time, not entering her yet. Finding the loofah floating near him, he picked it up and rubbed it over her shoulders and then down to her nipples, abrading both of them until they were erect. He carefully washed the soapy water off her breasts and then took the tip of one of them between his teeth, lightly biting down on it before sucking it more deeply into his mouth. Her hand on his cock tightened in response.

This was the one place where there was no confusion. When he had her in his arms, nothing seemed complicated. This was all he wanted. She was all he wanted.

He grasped one of her buttocks in his hand as he continued to suck on her nipple, feathering his finger along the crack and feeling her arch against him. Then she put her hands in his hair as she sank lower, rubbing against the shaft of his cock.

She reached between them, adjusting him until he was poised at her entrance. Then she put her hands on his face, forcing his head back, and brought her mouth down hard on his as she shifted and slowly took him into her body. She rocked forward, sinking down until he was deep inside her.

She continued to move her mouth over his and he felt like he did just before the rocket blasted off. Like he was going to explode if she didn’t move.

He gripped her butt in both hands as he drew his hips back and then pulled her back down again. They rocked together, both reaching for climax. The water sloshed around them, her wet hair stuck to his neck and their mouths fused together. He drove himself higher and higher inside of her. She rode him harder and faster until he felt her nails dig into his shoulders and she ripped her mouth from his to cry out his name.

Her cries made something tighten inside of him and everything in his body jerked as he started to come. He thrust into her harder and deeper until he emptied himself. As she collapsed against his chest and he held her to him, he knew he could no longer hide the truth from himself. Molly Tanner had changed him.

13

THIS TIME WHEN the water got cold, Molly got out of the tub before Jason. He followed her a moment later, wrapping a towel around his lean hips. He gave her a kiss and left the room, but she stayed in there for a long time getting dressed and thinking about Houston.

Maybe she shouldn’t have volunteered to go with him, but she’d heard the loneliness in his voice. He was used to being alone, had told her that he liked it, but this was one instance when she knew he wouldn’t want to be.

She took her small Nike duffle bag from the back of her closet and tossed some clothes into it before going downstairs to find Rina.

She was sitting on the back porch drinking a glass of iced tea and talking on the phone. She hung up when she saw Molly.

“What’s up, sunshine?”

“I’m going to Houston with Jason,” she said. “Just for a few days.”

“Well...is there something else you want to tell me?”

She looked over at Rina. She was the closest thing that Molly had to an aunt and she knew all of Molly’s secrets. “We’ve slept together. I...I care for him.”

“Obviously. What’s up?”

“I’m not sure what I’m doing. He is going to do everything he can to go back to space. There is no woman alive who can compete with that.”

“Don’t compete,” Rina said. “Why do you have to? You wouldn’t leave the ranch to permanently go to Houston, would you?”

“No. I can handle a few days, but my home is here.”

Rina sat up, pushing her sunglasses up onto her head. “I imagine it’s the same for him.”

“I don’t know how to do this. In my head...well, I always thought if I fell for a guy, he’d be the type to raise cattle and kids. Not leave the planet for more than a year at a time.”

Molly sat down next to Rina on the lounge chair and her friend hugged her. “The heart isn’t like that. You might think you want one thing, but you really want something else.”

“Why does it have to be that way?”

Rina shrugged. “Girl, you know I’m single and have the worst taste in men. You’ve seen me crying over a guy or trying to drink his memory away more than once.”

“I have,” Molly said. “But I always figured I was smarter than you.”

Rina lightly punched her arm. “Watch it.”

“I just hoped... Should I stay home?”

“Only you can decide. Why did he ask you to go to Houston?” Rina asked.

“Actually, I volunteered. He has to take a test earlier than he anticipated and if he doesn’t pass it he may not be chosen to lead the Cronus missions. If he does, I guess he won’t be around here too much longer.”

“Well, hell. You know how to pick the wrong time to fall for a guy,” Rina said.

“Tell me about it. What if I only fall for guys who can’t or don’t want to be with me? That would suck.”

“It would, but Jason does want to be with you.”

“You think?” she asked.

“I know. For the last six weeks, every time you entered a room he stopped what he was doing and watched you until you left.”

“I think that might have been lust. We were trying to keeping our hands off each other.” Pretending that they were fine with the status quo.

Rina slung her arm around Molly’s shoulders again. “I’ve seen attraction and it was more than that. He smiles when you laugh. Listens to your voice even when you aren’t speaking to him. He likes you.”

But did he like her enough? That was the question that kept spinning around her mind. And would Jason liking her even satisfy her? She wasn’t going to lie to herself. She was falling for Jason. Falling hard.

She worried that the time they’d spent together didn’t seem real to him. The ranch wasn’t his life. Being back here must feel like he was pretending. Was she just a diversion to help keep his mind off the outcome of his medical tests and his future?

She wanted him to be part of her future. To build something together that they could share. But she wasn’t too sure that was what Jason wanted.

Hell, she was almost positive it wasn’t. If he couldn’t go on any more missions and decided to stay on the ranch, would she always feel like his consolation prize?

* * *

JASON CALLED LYNN to find out if she’d heard anything from her sources. She had heard the same thing Dennis had, which she thought meant good news for their bid. But she said she’d been in the business long enough to know that anything could happen before the official announcement. Still, she felt confident enough to book a trip to Houston and the ranch in four days’ time to assess the property. She liked to meet the people she’d be working with in person.

Jason hung up and went to look for Molly. He couldn’t find her in the house and Rina was deep in conversation with Jeb and Andy in the kitchen, so Jason skipped going in there. He really didn’t want to talk to anyone. Just needed to find Molly.

He didn’t like that he felt that way and almost turned around and went back up to his room. He needed Molly now. He knew that this afternoon in the office and the tub had strengthened the tenuous bonds between them, but it was more than that. He’d needed her for a while. He depended on being able to talk to her and get her opinion.

He was using her to help him through this time when nothing was certain. He knew that wasn’t fair, but that didn’t change the truth.

Giving up on his search of the house, he strode outside. The Mule was still parked where he’d left it so he drove it over to the barn to park it properly and then sat there listening to the sound of the wind blowing over the fields. The cattle were all out to pasture, but the horses in the barn made some soft sounds.

He closed his eyes and stored this moment in his head. He was determined to go back into space, where it was cold and he wouldn’t hear the wind or smell the fields. Where he would be isolated again, from everything but his crewmates.

He craved that isolation. As much as he knew he’d miss this, too.

If he passed the medical.

And if he didn’t? Would it be enough to stay on the ranch, to run the training facility? Would he still feel whole?

He got off the Mule and walked over to the barn. He glanced inside, but Molly wasn’t there. Where had she gone?

He wondered if she’d changed her mind about going with him to Houston.

He’d be disappointed if she had. He shouldn’t let this continue, he knew. Shouldn’t let himself care for her. He needed to be the Ace he’d always been. And he’d always been on his own. Was he hedging his bets with Molly, keeping her close as a backup plan?

He’d wondered about that before and now it seemed more important that he try to answer the question.

He left the barn and walked back toward the house on the meandering path that took him past the bunkhouses. Only one was being used right now by the hands. They’d set up a basketball hoop to the left of the bunkhouse and three of the guys were playing a game of keep-away.

He remembered growing up here. Remembered playing basketball with the other guys who had found themselves living on the ranch. One of them had called it the ass end of nowhere. It had certainly felt that way to Jason. Mick had been the person who’d made it tolerable for him. Had given him books to read and nurtured his love of the cosmos. It was Mick who’d put the idea of being an astronaut in his head.

That was what he’d thought would happen this time—returning to the ranch would give him clarity, help him figure out what was next. But it didn’t. He wasn’t resetting. He felt too old to start over and he didn’t want to.

He knew what he wanted.

Space.

Exploring the universe, seeing comets, stars, asteroids and planets no other human had been close to.

But he also wanted Molly.

This afternoon had made him realize that he wasn’t on a solo mission anymore. Sometime in the last six weeks that had changed. And it wasn’t because of anything she’d been doing. It was because of his own actions—working on the ranch and making plans for a life that included NASA but wasn’t devoted solely to it. He’d never had this before and he felt like he had on his first space walk.

Scared.

Maybe a little bit excited, but unsure, feeling his way. A part of him was ready to hear that he was permanently grounded.

He was trying to convince himself it would be okay. Whatever Dr. Tomlin said he’d accept it. He had no choice.

He neared the house and noticed Molly standing on the porch, staring down at him. How long had she been watching him?

What did she see when she looked at him?

A man who was here for the long haul or someone who was using the Bar T the way he had as a kid? That would be a fair assessment since he’d been clear that that was what he was doing. But he wanted her to see something better in him.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted from her. Hell, he didn’t even know what he wanted from himself.

“Whatcha doing?” he called out when he was close enough for her to hear. Trying to be cool and casual. Not like a man who needed her more than he wanted to admit to himself.

“Watching the sky. I think we might get some storms tonight.”

He felt like the storm was already here. Raining and thundering through his soul and leaving him huddled and unsure. She watched him and it did nothing to help him. He knew he had to figure out what he wanted from his life and he needed to do it now before he fell any harder for her. Because once he fell in love his options would change. They had to. And he wasn’t ready for that to happen.

Why had he thought that he could sleep with Molly and it wouldn’t be anything other than physical?

She’d always been the one woman he’d never been able to forget.

* * *

JASON DIDN’T SAY much the next morning as he drove his late-model sports car through the Houston traffic. They’d left the ranch early but still hit traffic on US 59 as they’d approached the city.

“The last time I was here was for college,” Molly said, trying to engage him in conversation to take his mind off the tests.

“You never did say why you left.”

She nibbled on her bottom lip, looking out the window at the other commuters creeping along the highway. What could she say? “It was a relationship. That was the real reason. Annabelle’s messiness wasn’t actually that hard to live with.”

“What happened?”

She rubbed the back of her neck. She didn’t like to talk about it. Who did? Breakups were messy, painful and embarrassing. “I fell hard for this guy. He seemed to fall for me, and then...life happened. He got called back home because his mom was sick and while he was there he fell out of love with me. End of story.”

“That doesn’t sound like that’s all there is to it.”

She sighed. “He’d been gone from school for two weeks and we had been texting...and he was sort of being distant. I thought his mom had taken a turn for the worse.”

She remembered everything about that time.

“What happened?” Jason asked as he signaled to exit the highway.

“Well, I was worried so I went there to see him. He’d hooked back up with his high school girlfriend. He was going to tell me when he got back to Houston. Didn’t want to break up over the phone, blah, blah, blah. I just wanted to die. Not so much because of the emotions, though they hurt, but because I’d been so foolish. I misjudged him.”

“His mistake,” Jason said. “He missed out on something special.”

She had thought so at the time, but now, feeling what she did for Jason, she knew that the college boyfriend had never been right for her. He’d been someone new and different but not the love of her life. “It took a while for me to realize that. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to trust myself and my judgment with a guy again.”

“Who changed that for you?” he asked.

“Do you really want my romantic history?”

“I guess not. I was just... I wondered how you got over it.”

She wrapped her arms around her waist and thought about it. “Going home was the best tonic for that heartbreak. Made me realize what was really important. Dad and Rina both let me have some time to figure things out and that was all I needed. I started to realize it was mainly humiliation I was feeling, not really a broken heart. That helped the most. What about you? Ever had a broken heart?”

He glanced away from the road for a moment to look at her. Then he turned his attention back to the traffic. “I don’t think so. I’ve been pretty casual in all my relationships. Didn’t want anything to interfere with my commitment to NASA.”

“What about now?” she asked. As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished them back. She stared straight ahead and tried to pretend she hadn’t just asked him how he felt about her.

“I’m not sure. You’re different, Molly.”

He pulled up to the security gate at the space center and lowered his window to talk to the guard. Then he started driving again. She had more questions, but now wasn’t the time. She was disappointed, she admitted to herself as he parked the car in front of the program manager’s office, but she tried to shake it off. She tried to compare what she felt now to what she’d experienced back in college and it was impossible. There was no way to equate a crush and her first sexual experience with what she felt for Jason.

He looked over at her and she sensed he knew she was thinking about what hadn’t been said in the car.

“Want to meet my boss?” he asked.

Not really. But this was what she was competing against for his affections. She should learn as much about the program and the people involved as possible. If he was cleared to return to space, they were the only part of him that would be left here in Texas. And she would be working with them on the training facility.

“Sure.”

She slung her purse over her shoulder and walked up the steps, aware that she looked like a country mouse who’d come to the city. But it didn’t bother her. She was who she was. Jason put his hand on the small of her back as they entered the air-conditioned building and walked down the long hallway past crew photos and pictures of different missions. She tried not to look at them, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to see “Ace” in his element because then it would make it real that he belonged at NASA and not on the ranch with her. When she saw a large photo of Jason by himself in his space suit, holding his helmet, she stopped and stared.

She saw the intensity in his eyes and she knew then that she was being silly about a man again. There was no way a woman could compete with something that made him feel that way. It wasn’t just his career. It was his calling. Being an astronaut was who he was. He belonged in the space station or exploring a distant planet, not repairing fences on the ranch.

14

AFTER INTRODUCING MOLLY to Dennis Lock, Ace went to Dr. Tomlin’s office. She ran the blood tests as soon as he arrived. Then he was put through a battery of other tests, which included simulations of space-enforced gravity, zero gravity and pulling Gs. Ten hours later he was exhausted and felt as if he’d completed an Ironman triathlon and followed it up with a marathon. His body was tired and he ached. He had been running at the ranch, following the diet plan that Dr. Tomlin and Mona had outlined and doing other chores and the extra weight training Molly had interrupted. But he’d hoped for more time and more warning about the tests.

“I’m beat,” he said to the doctor when she came back in to take his blood again.

“Good. That was my intention. I want to create a good baseline for you before you train for your next mission.”

“Will I be going on another mission?” he asked.

“I don’t know yet. But that’s the goal,” she said. “You can go home now. Be back here at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow for another round of tests and I should have more of the results then.”

“Will they be final?”

“We will see,” she said. “I still haven’t found anything conclusive. The raised calcium levels in your blood were alarming when you got back and I didn’t see them improving at the rate I expected after your intensive rehabilitation. But so far we’ve seen no development of kidney stones.”

“Was that a concern?” he asked. “I spent a lot of time on the ARED when I was up there. Way more than the recommended two hours a day.”

She put her hand on his arm. The ARED was a treadmill that was used on the ISS and equipped for the astronauts to use in microgravity. “I know. Believe me, no one wants your results to be promising more than me. A lot of your routine over the last year was based on my theories.”

He nodded. He knew everyone was anxious to see how he’d improve. “How do I match up with the other candidates?”

“I’ll need to see all the test results to get the full picture, but, based on what I’ve seen today, this is what I can tell you so far. Your improvement at the six-week mark...isn’t the same as theirs. In some areas you are way ahead.”

“Which ones?” Ace asked. He’d keep doing whatever worked.

“Muscle strength and stamina. But your blood work...that still has a long way to go. It could be due to the extra three months you spent up there.”

He wanted to punch something, like maybe the wall, but—given the state his bones might be in—that didn’t seem like a wise choice. “What can I do?”

“Continue with the diet and exercise program you’ve been following. I’ve invited Candice O’Malley to meet with you shortly. She is having a different recovery than yours. Maybe you two can share notes.”

“Sure,” he said, glancing at his watch and noticing he only had ninety minutes until he was supposed to meet Molly at Rocket Fuel. He figured he was going to need a beer after this day. “I thought I’d be done by eight.”

“You will be.”

“Okay. Where is she?”

“Get dressed and meet me in my office. We can talk there.”

Ace got dressed quickly, but didn’t want to leave the examining room. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Molly.

Ace: Might be a few minutes late. <bashful emoji>

Molly: Okay. I’m at Rocket Fuel with Hemi and your other astronaut friends.

Hemi? Damn. He’d forgotten he’d told his friend to meet him there later. He wanted Molly to get to know the astronauts who would be using the training facility on the Bar T. He’d been feeling like he had everything under control earlier. Well, sort of. He’d felt like he was some sort of superman and not...broken.

Dr. Tomlin hadn’t said it, but he could tell she’d been disappointed with his results.

Ace: Don’t believe everything he says. He likes to exaggerate.

Molly: I noticed. You okay?

Ace: Not sure yet. Talk to you soon.

Molly: <kissing emoji>

He rubbed his chest. She’d sent him a kiss. He knew that sleeping with her was making them closer, strengthening the bond between them. But her texting him a kiss made things feel more real somehow. Or maybe it was just an emoji, he reminded himself. He sent her one back and then pocketed his phone. Health first. That was easier to deal with than his emotions.

* * *

SOMEHOW HER TABLE had become a gathering point for astronauts while she waited for Jason. Mostly because of Hemi, who seemed to know everyone. More and more people crowded in and around the booth. Hemi ordered wings, insisting that they were so good she had to try them. And she heard more stories about Jason’s missions.

Molly was surprised at the number of women in the group and learned that there was an equal number of both sexes on the team.

“Can I sit here?”

Molly glanced up to see a woman with thick blonde hair who could easily have been a model. She was of average height and her bone structure was good, and Molly knew from studying art that she had the golden triangle of proportions.

“Sure. It’s mainly astronauts coming and going, though.”

The woman laughed. “I am an astronaut. Isabelle Wolsten, but everyone calls me Izzy.”

“I guess I don’t really get away from the ranch much,” Molly said. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were one of the astronauts. I think most of my ideas about the NASA program are from reruns of I Dream of Jeannie and, of course, news coverage about the space shuttles.”

“NASA has had a low profile in the press for the last few years while they changed direction. Trainees are only accepted every four or five years and the training process takes a year and a half before the selections are made. My class was half men and half women. But we were the first,” Izzy said. “What do you do?”

“Cowgirl,” Molly said. “I grew up on a ranch about sixty miles from here with Ace.”

“You know Ace?” Izzy asked.

“Yeah.”

“What was he like as a kid?” Izzy asked, taking a sip of her iced tea. “He’s so intense. I can’t imagine him as a child.”

“I only knew him from the time he was fourteen. He was intense and brooding then. Kept to himself, especially in the beginning.”

Izzy raised both eyebrows at her. “Was he cute?”

Molly felt herself blushing again. “Sort of.”

Izzy laughed. “I had my suspicions.”

“About what?” Jason asked, joining their group.

“You being a cutie way back when,” Izzy said, sliding out so that Jason could sit next to Molly. Izzy sat back down, forcing Jason so close to Molly that she felt the tension in his body.

He reached for a wing, his arm grazing her side. “I don’t know about that. I didn’t spend much time looking in mirrors—I was too busy staring up at the night sky, dreaming of seeing the stars and planets up close.”

“Weren’t we all,” Hemi said.

Molly rested her shoulder against the wall and listened to all of them talk about how they’d come to NASA. She thought about what Izzy had said, that half of her group had been women, and how much things had changed.

They left about thirty minutes after Jason arrived. He was quiet as they drove toward downtown rather than to his quarters on base.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“A hotel. Is that okay? I’ve had enough of NASA for today. And I thought it might be nice to do something we don’t get to do often. Go someplace and be pampered. Sleep in a king-size bed with you and forget the world exists.”

That appealed to her. More than he could know. He hadn’t spent all day as she had—realizing they were truly from two different worlds. Even building a training facility on the Bar T Ranch wasn’t going to provide them with a ton of common ground. It would be good to avoid all the reminders of their differences, at least for a little while. But she knew there must be something else driving Jason to this decision.

“Okay. That sounds nice,” she said, putting her hand on his thigh.

He covered her hand with his, lacing their fingers together until they pulled up in front of one of the big-name hotels in the downtown area. He gave his keys to the valet and checked them into a large luxury suite.

It was a three-room suite, the kind she’d read about in travel magazines and had seen on television shows, but had never been in one herself.

Jason started kissing her as soon as the door to the suite closed behind them. He had her clothes off and her on the bed in record time. He brought her to climax again and again, but held himself back until finally—when she felt as if she wouldn’t be able to come again—he entered her, thrusting hard, driving her higher.

She came with him and then collapsed against him. He lifted her up and carried her into the shower, holding her in his arms as the warm water poured over them. Mentally and physically exhausted, she rested her head against his chest.

He held her to him and she realized he hadn’t spoken since they’d entered the room.

“What did the doctor say?” she asked when they were both dried off and in bed.

But he didn’t answer her. and when she lifted her head and stared down at his face, his eyes were closed.

But she knew he wasn’t sleeping.

It must have been bad news for him. Was that why he was clinging to her so closely?

15

WHEN THEY GOT back to the Bar T the next evening, they learned they’d won the bid for the Cronus training facility.

Lynn flew into Houston two days later and joined them at the ranch soon after. Construction needed to start immediately, and Molly was hopeful this would snap Jason out of the funk he’d been in since they’d returned. It seemed like he’d shut himself off from her. He hadn’t said what the doctor’s prognosis was, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that it hadn’t been good.

Lynn was fun and very used to being in charge. She arrived on the ranch with her assistant and spent three days at the location where the facility would be built. Jason was with her every moment, and when they came back for dinner on the first night, Molly was pleased to learn they, NASA and Axiom, wanted to name it the Mick Tanner Cronus Training Facility. She was really touched they’d named it after her dad.

So why wasn’t she sleeping now? She was walking that long dark hallway again, but this time there was no Jason out here to join her. She realized that was what she was waiting for. When had she become so cowardly? She should just go and knock on his door...but she was unsure he would want to see her. She had the feeling he was fine with being alone, but she wasn’t.

She didn’t embark on affairs lightly, and this was the most intense one she’d allowed herself to have in a really long time. She just felt...well, very adult now. Her parents were both gone. She had no close relatives. She was alone in the world except for her extended ranch family. It had taken her a little while to get used to that feeling.

She walked to Jason’s room and stood there staring at the door.

The answers to her questions were on the other side. All she had to do was raise her hand and knock. She could do that.

Hell, she would do that.

She was a Tanner. They never backed down. Maybe she should get that tattooed on her body to remind herself.

Molly rapped on his door and waited. Heard the bedsprings creak and then the heavy sound of Jason’s footsteps before the door opened a crack. He looked through, saw her and opened the door wider. He’d pulled on a pair of jeans and had zipped but not buttoned them. The fatigue written in every line of his face made her heart ache.

“Can I come in?” she asked, but she’d stepped forward as she’d posed the question, and he moved back to allow her in.

He closed the door and leaned back against it. A small night-light illuminated the room and she thought about how most of the conversations they’d had so far—the heavy ones—had taken place in the near dark.

“What do you want?” he asked. There was no belligerence in his tone at all, just weariness.

“What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Jason, enough of this. Based on your reaction from the moment you came back from the doctor’s office in Houston, I can only guess that the medical exam didn’t go as you’d hoped.

“So?”

“So. Your life isn’t over. You talked me into this Cronus program and I need you to be present and help me with it. I know you’ve been inspecting the site with Lynn for the last three days, but I’m your partner, too. And I’m out of my depth here.”

He rubbed the tattoo on his side. To boldly go.

“If this is something you can’t do—train others to go on missions when you’re grounded—then say so now. There are decisions that have to be made if you’ve changed your mind about being involved in this.”

“I’m not going to change my mind, Molly. I’m a man of my word.”

She took a deep breath.

“At this moment you don’t seem like the Jason I know. You seem like you’re defeated. If you need to take some time, then do it,” she said. “Maybe it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but I don’t know what else to say.”

He pushed away from the door and stalked over to her like a predator coming after his prey. She mentally shook herself. She’d come in here and poked at him until he’d reacted. She wasn’t sure if she was prepared to handle whatever he dished out.

“I needed to hear that. I am dealing with the fact that there is little I can do to improve my bone density. I’m also a bit freaked out that after spending the last few years training to be the first commander of the Cronus missions, I might not be in that position.”

She sat down on his bed and looked up at him. “I get it. I really do. I was completely thrown when Dad died. I figured that my life would take one path and all of a sudden I was faced with something I hadn’t anticipated. Sure, I knew Dad would die one day, but I thought... I never imagined it would happen so soon. I never pictured the ranch without him.”

“Dammit, Molly, you make me feel like an asshole,” he said, sinking down next to the bed, resting his head on the mattress. “I am feeling sorry for myself.”

“I know. I did the same thing. The situations are as different as they could be, but our reactions—the heartbreak we feel at not having life go the way we want it—that’s the same.”

He leaned over, putting his head on her knee and hugged her leg to him. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been handling this very well at all.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I can give you more time to adjust, but I just need to know that you are going to be back here with me soon. I need your guidance when it comes to all this space stuff.”

* * *

JASON HAD BEEN brooding since Dr. Tomlin had given him her rather vague but still grounding prognosis. He hated it. And he had been acting like a brat. But it was hard to mourn the probable death of your dreams. Maybe he should have stayed in Houston and talked to people like Dennis, who’d made the move from active astronaut to program manager successfully.

But he hadn’t been able to because of everything he’d put in motion with the facility. He was stoked that the training center was going ahead. Who wouldn’t be? The opportunities that would come from it were numerous. And while he’d been thinking all along about how generous he was, saving the day for Molly, maybe he should have been thinking more about what it meant for him.

She was right. She couldn’t do this on her own and he was pretty sure Mick was trying to figure out a way to kick his ass from the beyond.

Her words had been humbling. He knew she’d meant them to demonstrate that she understood where he was coming from.

“It’s hard to remember that you are still dealing with your grief. You always seem to have it together,” he said.

“Ha. You know me. I’m a big mess and I always have been. But no one is going to put up with that kind of attitude here. Rina would probably make me scrub the floors or something until I straightened up.”

He smiled. That sounded a lot like Rina. “I should probably volunteer for a few days of floor scrubbing.”

He felt her hand on his head, just rubbing gently. “You can have a rain check on that. We need you to liaise with Axiom.”

He laughed, but it sounded hollow even to his own ears. She was trying. Too hard, he realized. She wanted to know what was happening with them. He sensed it. He’d been avoiding anything personal from her.

“I’m sorry. I know it’s not enough, but I am sorry.”

“It’s okay. I think you’ve lost yourself a little bit. You were always confident you were going to get into NASA. Being an astronaut became your identity... I get that.”

She rubbed the light stubble on his jaw and looked down into his eyes. Always, he radiated confidence, but at this moment it was banked.

She imagined if she’d had to sell the ranch she might feel like Jason did now. Ranching was in her soul the same way that being an astronaut was in his.

She shifted on the bed. “Come on, get up,” she said.

He slowly got to his feet.

“Now, take a seat.”

“What are you doing?”

“Distracting you,” she said, as she put her hands on his shoulders and then straddled him. Reaching for the hem of her nightshirt, she pulled it up and over her head and tossed it on the floor. Next, she took his hands in hers and brought them to her breasts. She felt his cock moving under her, lengthening and hardening, and she moaned as he squeezed her breasts.

She rocked back and forth over him as her head fell back. His palms moved in a circular motion over her nipples, making them hard and intensifying the need deep inside her.

This wasn’t the patient lover she’d had before, she realized, as he moved his hands to her waist and rolled her beneath him. He pushed his underwear out of the way and drove into her with one quick hard plunge that set off a chain reaction within her.

She called his name as she met his thrusts with equal intensity and they both came hard and fast, clutching at each other. He stayed on top of her for a couple of minutes, keeping his weight on his arms as his breath sawed in and out. Then he rolled to his side and she lay there wrapped around him. Neither of them said a word. But she felt...damn, she felt like everything had changed between them.

She cared for him. She was hesitant to use the L word but it was there in her mind. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to hide from the truth.

She disentangled his arm from her leg, slid off the bed and put her nightshirt back on. “I know how you feel. And as much as I would miss you, if I had the power to make it so you could go on this mission, I would do it.”

* * *

HE LOOKED AT HER. Somehow without his intending it, she’d become his best friend. She got him. She understood him in ways he wasn’t too sure he wanted anyone to, but she did.

“Mol,” he said, “what am I going to do?”

She came closer to the bed and touched him gently. “You’ll figure it out.”

“How?”

“I have no idea. But I know you will. And I can promise that it’s not going to be what you expect, but it will get done, anyway.”

“I’m sorry I’ve shut you out,” he admitted.

“Me, too. I was worried you’d treat me like a consolation prize if you couldn’t actively participate in the Cronus missions,” she said, turning her face away from him.

Damn. He’d worried about that himself. He’d been afraid that he’d make her his whole life because he wouldn’t know what else to do. That fear was still there.

What kind of man turned to a woman when he no longer knew who he was?

Jason couldn’t answer that. Hell, he kept hoping...but hope wasn’t realistic. For the first time in many years he felt as he had when his mom died. He’d spent all those nights praying it was all a nightmare, that he’d wake up hearing her key in the door...

Now he knew that hope was a fool’s dream. And he needed to own this new life.

Parts of it weren’t bad. Not at all.

This bond with Molly was something that soothed the savage part of his soul. The part he’d always tried to suppress and hide from everyone. Finally, he didn’t have to anymore. And that was what he’d been waiting for. Space had given him the accolades and the career he’d always craved, but Molly had given him back a piece of himself that he’d never realized was missing.

“Thank you,” he said.

She put her hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to thank me. It is partially selfishness that brought me here. I need you.”

She needed him.

He thought of all the men he’d been pretending to be for his entire life and knew that in this moment he had to stand up and do it for real. She needed him and he wanted to be the man who was there for her.

He shifted to the edge of the bed, sat up and put his arm around her, hugging her close to his side. “I think I need you, too.”

“Think?”

“When Mom died, I promised myself I’d never depend on anyone again, but I feel different with you.”

* * *

MOLLY KNEW THAT Jason was a man who’d lost everything, so letting his words affect her as deeply as they did probably wasn’t wise. But it was hard not to. He was the man she’d always wanted. She wished she’d known that long ago, but it was something that had only been revealed with time.

“I’m different with you, too,” she admitted. “I almost didn’t come here tonight. You wouldn’t have believed how timid I felt standing in the hallway.”

“I can believe it. I’ve wanted to reach out, but I feel so broken. And I know the kind of man you deserve. The kind of man I thought I was. And now—”

“Stop it,” she said. “You are still the man you always were. It’s just a change in direction, not a completely different path. You won’t be cut off from everything you’ve known and done before.”

He stood up and put his hands on her shoulders and she had the feeling that maybe she was making it too easy for him to be with her, devaluing herself. She wanted him. But she needed to be wanted for herself. Not as an outlet for his mixed feelings about his own future at this moment.

But then he leaned over and kissed her, whispered in her ear how glad he was that she was there with him.

He lifted her in his arms and carried her back to his bed.

“Talking about our feelings is different for us,” she said.

He gave her a half smile. “It is, but maybe this is how we will be from now on.”

“From now on?” she asked.

“Yeah, you and me. This isn’t just a fling, is it?”

She propped herself up on her elbows. She’d come here to get him motivated and make sure he was committed long-term to the facility and in some small way to her. Of course, she wanted whatever was happening between them to last, but something didn’t feel right.

“It’s not a fling, but I think we should take it day by day, for now. You are going through a big change...”

“Don’t you trust me?” he asked, putting his hand on the bed next to her hip and leaning over her.

“Maybe,” she admitted. “I think you are confused about what’s going on with your career. You haven’t even told me the doctor’s latest prognosis. Are you out for good? Is there a chance you could be called back to active duty?” she asked.

She had a lot more questions, but having come in here and nudged him out of his melancholy she wasn’t ready to stop. She needed to know more before she just said yes to Jason. And it wasn’t like she had tons of other offers or men waiting for her. There was just Jason and a part of her acknowledged there would probably only ever be him. She realized he made her feel alive and in love. And she didn’t want to take a chance on ruining that feeling by letting herself believe he also loved her when he just needed a distraction from his life.

“Okay,” he said, moving over to sit next to her on the bed. He propped a pillow behind his back and leaned against it.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll tell you what the doctor said. The change in bone density, while positive, is small. I mean, if I only make progress at the same rate over the next six weeks...” He trailed off and she realized that before this he’d believed he could easily lick this bone-density problem, but now he wasn’t sure.

He’d taken a hit to his confidence.

“Okay, well, I don’t know much about your recovery, medically, but I do know that you sound like a man who’s given up and that’s not the Jason—Ace—McCoy I know,” she said.

“You’re right. No one knows for sure—even Dennis said he wouldn’t decide until the initial three months were up. He was hoping that Doctor Tomlin would find something concrete and she’d be able to give me a green light early. But seeing how little things had improved was a wake-up call,” he said. “No matter how hard I work or how well I eat I might not be able to fix this.”

“What kind of wake-up call?” she asked.

“The kind that makes a man take stock of his life. If I’m not going to be on the Cronus missions, then I need to make a life for myself here on Earth.”

“With me?” she asked.

“That’s what I want, but I get that you aren’t ready to commit to me until we know for sure.”

“That’s not it. Life doesn’t work like that, does it? We can’t predict what’s going to happen next. If we could, I’d have been prepared for Dad’s death and for you coming back here. And you would have known you were going to have health problems,” she said. She was trying to guard her heart. That was why she’d thought they shouldn’t commit to each other, but the truth was she already had fallen for him and he wanted her.

“I was scared. Trying to keep myself from getting hurt if you went back to Houston and started to go on long missions again, but the truth is no matter what we do after tonight it will still hurt if you leave.”

16

THE NEXT MONTH flew by as the facility on the eastern part of their property went up quickly. They got a lot of local interest, and Rina’s brother’s construction company was hired to redo the bunkhouses and make most of them into astronaut quarters. Lynn flew back and forth but mostly left overseeing the project to Jason and Molly.

He wasn’t himself, but then he was still dealing with the possible loss of his dream and trying to adjust to the idea of a new role in NASA.

Molly wanted to believe the way Jason smiled at her and talked about the facility’s future every night before dinner, but she saw past it. He wasn’t the kind of man who could spend the rest of his life so close to what he keenly wanted but couldn’t have.

But on mornings like this when she was riding next to him checking fences, it was easy to delude herself that they would be together for a long time. That the love growing inside of her was really growing between them.

“Sunrise is always my favorite time of day,” she said, handing him the thermos of coffee that she’d brought in one of her saddlebags.

“Really?” he asked. “I like sunset.”

“I knew that,” she said. That was when the stars and planets were prominent and Jason’s dreams of being up there were stronger.

“Just like I know that you like to get out of the house first thing to beat the heat of the day.”

“Well, it is Texas, and it does get hot in July.”

“Yeah, it does. What’s on the schedule for today?” he asked.

“Nothing. The construction crews are done. Rowdy, Rina’s brother, said that once NASA signs off on everything we’ll be ready for the interior fitting. Which isn’t his thing. So today everyone has the day off.”

“Everyone?”

“Well, Jeb has a skeletal crew doing the chores, but then we’re going to have a barbecue by the pond. Good food, swimming and celebrating.”

“Sounds good,” he said. “Is Lynn here?”

“She is, along with a few of the other experts that have been hired,” Molly said. “I was pretty excited that Jessie Odell agreed to do the survival training.”

Jason smiled over at her. “I forgot you two knew each other. She’s one of your oldest friends.”

“She is,” Molly said. She’d been worried about Jessie for the last year. Her longtime lover, Alexi Volkov, had died in his third attempt on Everest. Jessie had been climbing with him when conditions had turned hazardous and he’d fallen into a ravine. Molly had taken a few days to fly to her friend. Later, Molly’s dad had died and Jessie had come back to the ranch for a few weeks to keep her company. When the ranch was approved for the NASA facility, Molly had approached Jessie to see if she was interested in being involved in some way. Her friend had decided that she needed something new in her life, and this was it.

“She is. I’m so glad she got this gig. She hasn’t been herself since Alexi’s death.”

Jason turned to look at her, his hands resting on the saddle horn and a straw cowboy hat on his head. “What about you?”

“What about me? I haven’t lost my lover, have I?” she asked.

He shook his head. “But your dad died. How are you feeling now?”

She thought about it. She was so different now from the woman she’d been six months ago when Dad had died or even since the beginning of May when Jason had come back to the Bar T Ranch. She thought she’d evolved. “I think I might be Molly 2.0. A new version of myself.”

He threw his head back and laughed. “I guess that makes me Jason 4.0.”

“I guess so. Are you happy?” she asked. “Sometimes I think you are, but other times...it feels like you’re trying too hard.”

“I am trying,” he said. “That’s all I can do.”

“I wish I could make this easier for you. Find a way to fix this.”

“You can’t. All I can do is continue to work out and hope for the best,” he said.

He pushed his hat back and looked over at her. She wasn’t sure she liked what she saw in his eyes.

“I keep telling myself I have a very slim chance. But I doubt that much has changed since the preliminary tests in Houston.”

“What if it has?”

He looked at her and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I feel stronger. It doesn’t mean I’ll be cleared to go back.”

But he still hoped he would be—she could tell. This wasn’t a surprise, but she felt hurt and embarrassed anyway that she’d been falling in love with him and he’d been biding his time. She should have known better. She did know better, but she couldn’t help herself and she definitely couldn’t deal with these feelings right now. She clucked to Thunder and loped away from Jason.

But there wasn’t enough land even on 760 acres to run away from her emotions or her heartbreak.

* * *

JASON WATCHED HER go and knew he had to go after her. Working together to integrate the new facility with the ranch during the last month had been nice. More than nice. He’d seen a life he hadn’t thought he’d ever find. One that hadn’t been his dream but that he was coming to enjoy and feel more at home in every day.

He hadn’t been completely truthful with Molly just now. Each week he sent a sample of his blood to Dr. Tomlin. She was watching his calcium levels and last night he’d gotten an email from her that said she saw some improvement. She’d also shared some new information about Candice’s blood work. Candice was scheduled to go back up to the International Space Station in one month’s time. She’d do a shorter stint, the shortest that NASA ran, just four weeks on the station, and then she’d be back for another evaluation. He wasn’t sure what all this meant for his prospects and he didn’t want to worry Molly until he knew for certain.

But whatever happened, he knew he didn’t want to lose Molly. So he followed her across the fields. His horsemanship had improved drastically since he’d come back here in May.

He pulled Carl—now his personal horse—to a stop as it struck him that leaving the ranch and Molly wasn’t going to be easy. His commitment to her wasn’t just something to get him through losing the career he’d always wanted, he realized, now that there was a possibility of him returning to active duty.

But how could he say that to her? Despite everything they’d said to each other, she seemed to think that he was either going to stay on the ranch forever or it was over between them. Didn’t she?

He clucked and nudged Carl with his heels to get him moving again and finally caught up with Molly at the pond. She’d dismounted and left her horse—a well-trained horse would stay even if the reins were just left on the ground rather than being tied to something. He did the same with Carl. He found Molly on the path and followed slowly.

She turned when she heard his boot steps getting close and he noticed she’d been crying.

“Molly.”

She just shrugged and shook her head. “I want you to stay. I want to be enough for you and not have to compete with NASA. I know it’s selfish.”

He reached for her, but she stepped back and he dropped his arm awkwardly to his side.

“You are enough for me. Sometimes I think I’m not enough for you,” he said, tackling the easiest problem first. “These past months have been...an awakening for me. Never in my life had I imagined I’d find a place to call home that wasn’t part of the space program.”

She watched him with those wide, weary eyes of hers and he was aware that he had to do and say the right things now. Because he loved her.

He stumbled over the thought in his mind.

He loved Molly. He couldn’t say for sure when it had happened. Maybe he’d loved her since the first night he’d come back and she’d dropped all her barriers and let him see the real woman. Or maybe he’d loved her since he’d first seen her dark eyes and chestnut braids.

“I’m glad you feel at home,” she said. “You always kept a part of yourself isolated when you lived here before.”

“I know. I’ve been afraid to trust another person. It’s easier at NASA because it’s all about rank and performance, but this—” he gestured to the two of them “—this is scary because the last time I thought of home like this was before my mom died.”

She nodded. “It’s different for me. This has always been my home. It’s hard for me to imagine being anywhere else. But you’ve always wanted to leave, even when you were a kid, to get out there in the stars. I can understand it, but it’s hard for me to figure out how we could be together if you’re still able to go on missions. You’d be gone for such long periods of time.”

“It would be hard,” he admitted. But it was his life. He loved Molly and he loved space. He didn’t think he could choose between them. If his health forced him to be grounded, it would be easier in some ways. The decision would be out of his hands. But something deep inside of him felt that he had improved enough, that the exercises and treatments Dr. Tomlin had prescribed had done their job. And that would leave him in a situation he never thought he’d be facing.

“So what are we going to do?” she asked.

“Just keep on the way we have been for the last month. Nothing has changed. I brought it up...well, it doesn’t matter. I made a commitment to you and the facility and I’m going to keep it no matter what the tests show,” he said.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

He had this one moment where his conscience battled with him. He loved Molly.

Love.

He couldn’t remember the last person he’d loved. His mom, he supposed, but that was so long ago she’d faded into a distant memory and sometimes he couldn’t remember her face. But Molly was here before him. Standing there looking very unlike herself with her arms wrapped around her waist.

She needed him. He had a chance to become like the strong, caring men he admired. But he’d have to give up his dream.

Wasn’t that what love was?

Sacrifice?

He didn’t know for sure, but he made his choice. “I’m positive.”

* * *

TWINKLE LIGHTS AND tiki torches illuminated the dock area and beach around the pond later that evening. Music, laughter and raised voices filled the air. Molly wandered among the ranch hands, construction crew and astronauts who’d come out for the party. She hadn’t seen Jason in the last thirty minutes, but that was okay.

They had spent a lot of time alone today before everyone had arrived. She was worried she’d forced him into a decision he’d come to regret.

“What are you doing over here looking all pouty, sunshine?” Rina asked as she came up to Molly and handed her a plastic margarita glass.

She took a sip of the frozen strawberry goodness. “I think I might have manipulated Jason today to do something he doesn’t want to.”

“Damn, girl, I wasn’t ready for that,” Rina said. “I thought you were sad that the facility would be opening soon.”

It was the end of the Bar T Ranch she’d always known, but she’d made her peace with that. “Change is inevitable, right?”

“Yes, it is. So what happened with you and Ace?” Rina asked.

The two women moved away from the party area down the path where there was a bench nestled under a willow tree. “Remember when I used to think no one could find me here?”

“I do,” Rina said. “It was your spot. Your dad told me how you and your mom used to spend time under this willow.”

“We did. I always think of her when I come here. I wonder what she’d say about all this,” Molly said.

“She’d be proud of you. You’ve done what was needed to keep the ranch in the family and you are making it a place for future generations,” Rina said.

Molly wondered if that was true or if Rina was just saying what she thought she needed to hear. The truth was someplace in between, Molly reckoned.

“So...” Rina said, taking another sip. “What did you do?”

Molly finished her margarita and sat down on the bench.

“Jason is feeling better. He thinks...he thinks that going on another mission might not be out of the question for him.”

“Was it ever?” Rina asked, coming over to sit down next to her.

“Yes. He has been part of an experiment for bone-density loss. It’s called spaceflight osteopenia. When we went to Houston right before we won the bid, the doctor saw him and the news wasn’t good. He thought he’d never go back to space. So he started considering a future with me and the ranch...”

“Well, damn.”

“Exactly. And today...well, today he tried talking to me about it, but I was all like it’s me or the moon.” She groaned, embarrassed. “I used to be afraid he would leave. No, I would think, what if Jason goes on his mission and when he comes back he doesn’t want this or me anymore?” she said. God, she hadn’t realized that was what she’d been feeling, but now that the words were out she felt freer.

Rina hugged her close and rubbed her back. “All I know is that love doesn’t come if you force it. If that boy loves you, then he won’t be able to go into space unless he knows you’ll be here for him when he returns.”

“You think so?” Molly asked.

“I do.” They sat for a few minutes in silence. “I guess we should go back to the party,” Rina said finally.

“We should.”

She followed Rina through the branches of the willow and up the path only to run into Jason coming down.

“I was looking for you,” he said. He wore a pair of tight-fitting jeans and a dress shirt, along with a Stetson she’d never seen before. He had two glasses in one hand, a bottle of Maker’s Mark in the other.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Rina said, walking past him.

“I was hiding out.”

“Under the willow?” he asked, draping the arm with the glasses over her shoulder.

Everyone knew her secret spot, she thought, and was reminded again that on the ranch there were no true secrets.

“Yes.”

“Good, let’s go there now. I want to be alone with you.”

He led her back under the willow tree. The music from the party was softer here. He put the glasses down on the bench with the whiskey bottle and drew her into his arms.

She started to speak, but he put his finger over her lips. “No more talking. I want to dance with my woman.”

He pulled her close, one arm wrapped around her waist, and took her right hand in his left. The radio was playing Sara Evans’s “I Could Not Ask For More.”

Jason swayed with her, singing under his breath along with the music. She felt her heart melt and fell even more in love with him. And she knew that she could never be the reason this man didn’t go for his dreams. That as much as she needed him here by her side, she needed him to be happy.

She rested her head against his chest and sang along with him. Jason started smiling when she looked up and she caught her breath. It was a real smile, not one of those fake ones he gave everyone most of the time. He swung her out and spun her back into his arms, wrapping his arms around her and singing into her ear.

She felt alive and happy. And suddenly she knew what she was going to have to do. Because she wanted Jason to have the life he’d always wanted. And that life was up in the stars.

17

MOLLY LOOKED AT herself in the mirror a week later and almost didn’t recognize herself. She had few opportunities to get dressed up. With the updo, the makeup and the cocktail dress, she looked like a different woman. Not a cowgirl but a woman who belonged in the big city. The special liaison for the Cronus training facility. Molly found she was excited about the new space exploration program and her part in it.

Next week an administrative assistant would arrive at the ranch, and Molly was going to have an office in the new building. She shook her head in disbelief.

It didn’t seem like that long ago that she’d been standing on the porch at the Bar T wondering what she was going to do without her dad by her side. She’d found a new life. A life she would never have imagined. The road had been hard, but she was in a good place here.

The facility would be welcoming its first group of trainees next week and this gala was to thank all the people who’d worked so hard to get them to this moment.

She’d made up her mind that if Jason was cleared for flight she’d encourage him to take the Cronus crew position Dennis wanted to offer. He had been with Dr. Tomlin all day doing tests. Molly tried to convince herself she was prepared for whatever happened.

She’d purchased her dress with Izzy’s help at the Neiman Marcus at the Galleria. It was sparkly and slim-fitting, hugging her curves, with a halter neck and a skirt that ended a few inches above her knees. She’d even stopped into Victoria’s Secret to pick up some nice new lingerie. She’d been practicing walking around the hotel room in her new high heels for the past hour.

Her dad used to bring her to Houston to go back-to-school shopping every year in August. They’d book a hotel near the Galleria and either Rina or Annabelle would go with her. Dad would meet them for lunch and then they’d do more shopping. It had been a little odd to visit the Galleria without him.

Jason and Molly had booked the same suite they’d stayed in last time since the gala celebration was being held in one of the ballrooms in the same hotel. Rina and Jeb had come to Houston for the celebration, as well. They were going to meet the initial group of trainees who would be using the facility.

She took another look at herself in the mirror as she fastened the large diamond-cluster earrings that had been her mother’s.

You look too pretty to be my daughter.

She glanced around expecting to see her dad standing behind her. But it was just his voice in her head. The words felt like a hug, as if she’d gotten his approval—not just for her appearance, but for everything she was doing. She closed her eyes, realizing that the pain she’d felt when he’d died was starting to ebb. She still missed him, but she could think of him now without crying and that was a very good thing.

She gave her reflection a wink before grabbing the small beaded handbag that matched her dress and heading down to the ballroom. The hallway leading to the ballroom was lined with large posters of all the astronauts who’d done the work leading up to the Cronus missions. She saw Hemi’s and Izzy’s posters before stopping in front of her Ace’s. It was impossible to think of him as Jason when she stared into his intent blue gaze. The photo was of him in his flight suit, holding his helmet under his arm. And under the image was a quote attributed to him.

I grew up on a ranch in Texas so nothing is daunting to me. I need to be out there going where no one has before and expanding our boundaries the way the first settlers did in the West.

As much as she wanted him by her side, she knew that Ace really was a space cowboy. A man who should be exploring the universe, not tied to the land as she was. It was what he was meant to do and she loved him more for it.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

She turned to find him standing behind her in a tux. She almost forgot to breathe he was so handsome. His hair was neatly combed and he smiled when he bent down to kiss her. They’d come so far since he’d walked up to her porch on that warm May evening.

She threw her arms around him and started laughing. He joined her, swinging her in a circle.

* * *

JASON HAD AN engagement ring in his pocket from Deutsch & Deutsch Jewelers. They had been in business in Houston for more than eighty years and their motto—Where Life Happens—seemed to suit him and Molly. He’d picked it up earlier in the day, after he’d finished the battery of tests Dr. Tomlin had run.

She’d been excited by the test results for the blood samples he’d been sending her each week via private courier. His calcium levels were normalizing. She hadn’t seen the same results with her other patients so he mentioned Hemi’s mom’s diet and the supplements she’d sent him. Dr. Tomlin had immediately gotten on the phone with Mona and he had a feeling that the meals at the Mick Tanner Cronus Training Facility were going to be heavily influenced by Mona’s nutrition plan.

Jason was happy being back on the base. Dennis had called him earlier, but Jason had been at the jewelers. He’d wanted a special ring for Molly and had been examining the one he’d ordered to make sure it was perfect.

He hadn’t returned his boss’s call because he wanted to ask Molly to marry him before he knew if there was an option to go on more missions.

There were a lot of astronauts who were married, and many balanced work and family. But Jason knew himself. He was either Ace or Jason—he didn’t know how to be both.

He’d made a promise to Molly that day by the pond and he wasn’t going to back out of it now. She needed him and he was coming to realize how much he needed her.

She was the first person he’d wanted to call when he’d heard the news from Dr. Tomlin.

And tonight...she was beautiful. She shone more brightly than the stars in the night sky and she was holding on to him and laughing with such joy. He didn’t want to dim it. Couldn’t be the man who made her eyes lose their sparkle.

“That dress is making it hard for me to remember why we have to be here. I want to scoop you up in my arms and carry you back to our room.”

She blushed and then winked at him. “There’s no reason why we can’t have everything we want tonight, is there?”

“No reason at all,” he said. Everything she wanted. This was her night. They’d saved the ranch and were getting ready to open the training facility. They were a couple. They had the rest of their lives together.

“I want to take a picture of you by your poster,” she said, fumbling in her handbag for her cell phone.

“Why?”

“So I have both handsome sides of you in one photo,” she said.

She knew. He hadn’t realized it was obvious to everyone else, or maybe it was just because Molly knew him so well that she saw he was two different men. Not balanced at all.

The ring in his pocket felt heavy and he wanted to propose before he went inside and the lure of his old life took over.

He went over to the poster. Saw the brash, confident astronaut staring back at him. The man in the photo wore a hint of a smile along with tons of self-assurance and swagger. He posed next to his poster and she snapped the picture just as Hemi and his brother Manu came around the corner.

“I told you it wasn’t odd to take a picture with myself,” Hemi said.

Manu shook his head. “Ace, are you for real? I get this egomaniac wanting to pose with himself, but you aren’t as into yourself as he is.”

Hemi punched his brother on the arm. “Hey.”

“I asked him to do it,” Molly said.

Manu glanced over at her and then held his hand out. When Molly took it, Manu brought her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. “Apologies, my lady. I’m Manu Barrett, this one’s older and more handsome brother.”

“She has eyes. She can see that you were a warm-up for me. I’m the perfect one,” Hemi said.

Jason just shook his head at them.

“This is Molly Tanner,” Jason said, introducing her to Manu.

“Are you part of the astronaut program?” he asked as they all moved into the ballroom.

“Not really. I’m a cowgirl normally. But Ace and I inherited some land that is now housing the new Cronus training facility,” she said.

Jason thought it curious that she’d referred to him as Ace. She almost always called him Jason.

“That is really cool. I’d love to hear more about it,” Manu said. Hemi left them to go talk to Izzy.

“What do you do?” Molly asked Manu.

“I’m in football. Special teams coach for the professional football league. I used to play for San Diego.”

“I think I might get kicked out of Texas for admitting this, but I don’t really like the game. I’m more of a basketball fan.”

“You were almost perfect,” Manu said with a wink.

“Well, she is for me,” Jason said, putting his arm around her.

“Not perfect,” Molly said, smiling. “I’m as real as they come.”

Manu laughed and then moved off to find his brother. Jason took Molly’s hand in his and started to lead her away from the crowd.

“Where are we going?”

“I want to be alone with you for a few minutes before everything starts tonight,” he said.

She bit her lower lip and then nodded. “I figured we’d talk later, but I can do this now.”

Do what? he wondered. He led her to a quiet corner and put his hand in his pocket, feeling around for the ring box. She stood there watching him. And the lights dimmed as the emcee came out on stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen, NASA is proud to welcome you to the Cronus Kickoff Celebration. If you will all find your seats, we have a few announcements to make before we get this party started.”

“This is going to have to wait,” Molly said.

He was afraid she was right. She turned to walk toward their table and all he could do was follow.

* * *

EVERYONE SCURRIED TO their seats and Molly knew what was coming next. Dennis had called her earlier when he couldn’t get in touch with Jason, looking for him. Since he’d met her and Jason had introduced her as his girlfriend, Dennis had shared that he had some really good news from Ace’s medical evaluation. That was all, nothing more specific, but Molly was certain that tonight Jason was going to learn his place in the Cronus missions had been assured.

“Wait, before anything else happens, I want to ask you something, Molly,” Jason said, tugging on her arm.

She turned toward him, saw the ring box in his hand and felt her heart sink. She put her hand over his, the one holding the box.

“Oh, Jason. I don’t want to be the reason you can’t have your dream.”

“You wouldn’t be,” he said, but she let go of his hand and went to their table.

As he followed her, Dennis intercepted him and she glanced back. Saw the intensity of the conversation. A selfish part of her wished she’d let him ask that question, but she knew it wouldn’t be right.

Rina and Jeb were seated at her table along with Lynn and her husband, Jimmy. They were a cute couple, funny and lively. They almost distracted her from the fact that Jason hadn’t come back and that the emcee was back on the stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure all of you are as excited to be here as we are to welcome you. There are many phases for the next program that NASA has been developing. Our eventual goal is to get to Mars, but before we can do that we have to see how our astronauts tolerate extended missions outside of Earth’s gravity. To that end, NASA is launching the Cronus missions. I’m pleased to introduce you to Dennis Lock, Deputy Program Manager for Cronus.”

Molly sat back in her chair, feigning a calm she was far from feeling. She was ready to smile and stand up when Dennis introduced her, but she wished that Jason was by her side. The fact that he wasn’t meant her suspicions were right. He was cleared for flight and would be going on the first mission to establish a way station between Earth and Mars. An eighteen-month mission that would be the next step in fulfilling his dreams.

She wasn’t going to worry about where that would leave her.

Really. She wasn’t.

Rina reached over, took Molly’s hand and squeezed it. “Whatever happens, you’ll be okay.”

She would be. She was stronger from having loved Jason and spending the last three months with him. He’d given her new excitement for life and he’d helped her save the ranch. There was nothing to worry about.

Except a broken heart.

Everyone applauded as Dennis took the stage. He wore a tuxedo and walked with purpose. He was definitely the right man to be in charge, Molly thought. She knew how much the astronauts respected him. Had heard stories about his own missions that night she’d been at Rocket Fuel waiting for Jason.

That night she had seen him surrounded by his team, in his element. She loved Jason. He cared for her and had said he’d found a home with her. But was that because he’d thought he could never return to his real home?

“Thank you, everyone, for that warm welcome. This isn’t a press conference and there will only be one new announcement tonight. You’ve all contributed to getting the Cronus missions off the ground. All of your hard work is the reason we are here tonight celebrating.

“I need to thank Lynn and her team at Axiom who put together a top-notch bid for our new training facility and got it built in record time. Where are you, Lynn?”

She stood up and waved as the spotlight found her. Molly felt the tension inside of her grow. She couldn’t stay another minute. She leaned over to Rina.

“I have to go. Just smile and wave for us,” Molly said, talking loudly to be heard over the announcement.

“Sunshine—”

She just shook her head and got up, walking swiftly through the tables with her head down. She heard Dennis talk about the Bar T Ranch and how the facility had been named after Mick as she got to the doors that led to the hallway.

“It’s only fitting that this facility be named after the man who was a surrogate father to our top astronaut trainee. The man who has been focused on leading the Cronus missions since I first met him at training camp. I’m pleased to announce that Ace McCoy will be the commander and leader of our first mission.”

There were whoops from Jason’s astronaut friends and everyone stood up and applauded. Molly smiled to herself. She was happy for him. She thought she’d have to fake it, but there was no need. She finally understood what it was like to love someone so much that seeing them happy was enough. Jason would go on his missions and have his life and the stars. And she would watch from the ground, loving him, missing him and hoping he would come back to her one day.

She couldn’t be the reason he stayed and she was pretty sure that she would be if he asked her to marry him. She’d never had to make such a difficult choice in her life, and only by walking out of the ballroom now would she be able to do it.

18

DENNIS HAD OFFERED him the job before he’d made the announcement on stage and Ace had hesitated but only for a moment. He had thought that staying on the ranch with Molly would be enough, but he realized now that he couldn’t say no. If he did he’d regret it for the rest of his life and Molly and he both deserved better. He vowed he’d make things right with Molly after the announcement.

He went out on the stage and waved to the audience. When he looked at their table, he noticed Molly’s seat was empty. Rina pointed toward the door, and he saw a flash of Molly’s dress as she stepped out. He gave Dennis a quick wave and hopped off the stage to follow her.

He was too far behind to see where she went. He checked their suite and found it empty. For a moment he wondered if she’d headed back to the Bar T, but then he spotted her car keys on the dresser. She was still in the hotel.

He had one more idea and followed his hunch up to the top-floor bar that offered a stunning view of the Houston skyline. He found Molly sitting at one of the tables that overlooked the city. But she wasn’t looking at the skyline. She stared at the stars above.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, coming over to her table.

She turned to look at him, a sad smile on her face. “Not at all.”

“Why did you leave?”

“I thought I was ready for it. Dennis called for you earlier today and said that he had good news for you about your medical review. I put the rest together for myself when you tried to propose to me before he could name you as the first commander.”

“That’s not why I chose that moment to propose—”

“It was. Let’s not lie to each other, okay?” she said. “I would have said yes and you would have... What would you have done? I know some of the other astronauts are married, but I think it’s always been different for you.”

The honesty in her tone hurt him a little. She expected him to walk away from her easily, but he wasn’t too sure he could do that. Nothing was easy about this. He wanted the missions and Molly.

“It used to be,” he said. “But mainly because I hadn’t taken the time to meet anyone who made me...better. You expanded my horizons. Most of my life I’ve been playing at being an adult, Molly. Trying damned hard to make sure I wasn’t the kind of man my ‘sperm donor’ dad was. The kind of guy who’d walk away from his pregnant girlfriend and never look back.”

“You were never going to be that kind of man. You’re not made that way,” she said.

He appreciated her faith in him. She always had believed in him, especially when he’d doubted himself.

“Regardless, with you I don’t have to fake it. You make me the kind of man I’ve always wanted to be. I love you.”

“I love you, too. That’s why I want you to go back into space and do these things you’ve always dreamed of.”

“You love me?”

“Yes. I can’t imagine a future without you in it.”

“Can you imagine a future where your husband leads the first Cronus mission and then comes home, retires and trains others to go on further missions?” he asked.

It was what he wanted. If he could have everything, it would be Molly and NASA and Cronus.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked.

“Molly, nothing can compete with you. If you say no, then I’ll tell Dennis to find another commander for that first eighteen-month mission.”

She put her hand in his. “I’d never say no. I want all of that for you, for us. I want to be the cowgirl you come back to.”

Jason’s heart started beating so loudly he was sure the other patrons in the bar could hear it. He got down on one knee and pulled the ring from his pocket.

“Molly Tanner, will you marry me?”

She leaned forward, putting her forehead on his. “Yes, I will.”

He put the ring on her finger and got to his feet, lifting her into his arms and kissing her like he would never let her go. And now he knew he’d never have to.

* * * * *

Her Halloween Treat

Tiffany Reisz

Trick...or wicked treat!

It was a devastating dirty trick—Joey Silvia just found out her boyfriend of two years is married. What. A. Dick. Joey knows her best chance to get over one guy is to get under another. Of course, heading home to her family’s remote cabin in Oregon poses some challenges in the “available men” department...until she discovers this cabin comes with its own hot handyman!

Holy crap, Chris Steffensen. When did her brother’s best friend turn into a hard-bodied pile of blond-bearded hotness? He’s the perfect Halloween treat—and a surprisingly dirty rebound guy. For a couple of weeks, anyway. Except that Chris has other ideas...like proving to Joey that this blast from the past is a whole lot more than a naughty Halloween hookup.

“You were intense last night.”

“Too intense?”

“Perfect,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. She needed to get him naked, and fast. Her body remembered the warmth of his skin on hers and ached to feel it again. “I want you to be with me the way you want to be with me. Don’t hold back. I can take it.”

“You took it last night pretty well.”

“Only pretty well?”

“Very well,” he said, nuzzling his lips to her neck. “You want to take it again?”

“And again and again and again...”

Chris kissed her mouth and she ran her hands down his back. She slipped her hands under his shirt, desperate to touch him. After all that hard work, his body had grown hot to the touch, and her cool skin bristled with pleasure as his heat suffused her.

She wanted more, more, more of him and she couldn’t get it fast enough.

Dear Reader,

There are few places in the world more beautiful in autumn than Mount Hood National Forest in Oregon. I should know, because I live here. Shortly after my husband and I moved out to the mountain (technically a volcano), I hired a handful of local contractors to do minor repairs on our new house. They were annoyingly cute and very good at their jobs. I joked to my husband that if I wrote some romance novels about these guys, maybe I could write our home repairs off on our taxes as a book research expense.

Sadly, my accountant didn’t go for that idea. But I wrote the books anyway. Her Halloween Treat is the first book in the Men at Work trilogy, inspired by the men and women in all our lives who paint our houses, build our decks, landscape our lawns and generally make our neighborhoods nicer places to live. I hope you enjoy the story of Joey, on the rebound after a devastating breakup, and Chris, the sweet and sexy bearded contractor who puts all his handyman skills to use fixing her broken heart.

Enjoy!

With Love from My Secret Volcanic Lair on Mount Hood,

Tiffany Reisz

TIFFANY REISZ is a multi-award-winning and bestselling author. She lives on Mount Hood in Oregon in her secret volcanic lair with her husband, author Andrew Shaffer, two cats and twenty sock monkeys named Gerald. Find her online at tiffanyreisz.com.

Dedicated to...

Jen LeBlanc—“Don’t Stop Believin’,” my friend.

1

SHE WANTED TO blame her parents for naming her Jolene. Who did that? Who named their daughter after the most notorious other woman in country music? Once she’d learned who she was named after, Jolene became Joey and there was no going back. And yet just two days ago she’d learned the ugliest truth of her life—she’d been sleeping with a married man.

For two years.

Joey sighed and reached under her sunglasses to wipe a tear from her eyes.

“Jo?”

“Sorry,” Joey said.

“You don’t have to be sorry, babe.” Kira reached over and squeezed her knee. “We’re almost to LAX. You need to stop somewhere?”

Joey shook her head. “Keep driving. The sooner I’m out of here, the better. Thanks for getting me.”

“I can kill Ben for you, too. I’m willing to kill Ben. In fact, I might do it even if you don’t want me to.”

When Joey laughed it felt odd, and she realized it was the first time she’d laughed in over thirty-six hours.

“Isn’t murder maybe overdoing it?” Joey asked.

“Overdoing it? That piece of shit slept with you in Honolulu and with his wife in LA, and at no point in two years did he tell her about you or you about her? That is what happened, right? I didn’t make that up?”

“No, that’s right.”

“Then it’s not murder. It’s justifiable homicide. And don’t argue with me when I’m right. You know I am.”

Joey didn’t argue. She couldn’t because it was all true. For two years Ben had been her boyfriend. They worked together. They played together. They slept together. She believed him when he told her how much he hated living in LA. That he treasured his time with her in Hawaii. He’d move there permanently if he could, but work wouldn’t let him. Blah blah blah. Lies, all of it. Lies she’d believed, which is why she routed her flight through LA so she could surprise him. And surprise him she did. She knocked on his door and his wife answered. Quite a surprise for them all.

“So...murder?” Kira asked.

“No murder. Not yet, anyway.” She needed to fall out of love with Ben first. Hating him was easy. Not loving him was the hard part.

“Okay. But you just say the word, and I’m there. At the very least you should let me cut his balls off.” Kira grinned devilishly at her as she merged onto the I-105 ramp.

Joey swallowed hard, nodded. “Okay,” she said. “But just the balls.”

Kira dropped her at the terminal and helped her with her bags. Joey slammed the trunk shut and felt better. Slamming things, hitting things—she wanted to destroy all the things. Instead, she just rested her head against Kira’s shoulder.

“I wanted to marry him,” Joey said.

“I know.” Kira roughly patted her back. “I know you did.”

“I should have known. I mean, two whole years without him inviting me to LA?”

“I live in LA and I don’t even want to be invited to LA. This isn’t your fault.”

“What do I do?” Joey looked up at Kira. They’d worked together in the Honolulu office of Oahu Air, Oahu’s premier business-and first-class airline, before Kira had transferred back to the California office. They’d become fast friends and still were, even with half an ocean between them.

“Look. Here’s what you do. You go home to Oregon, you hang out with your family, you have the best time ever at your brother’s wedding and you bang the first hot guy you see the second your plane lands.”

“What if he’s the baggage handler? He might be a little busy.”

“Get your bag first. Then bang him.”

“I knew I could count on you for good bad advice.”

“I’m serious. Find a new guy. No guilt. No shame. No remorse. This isn’t about love. This is about you taking care of you. Sexually. It would piss Ben off, right? You jumping into bed with someone else right away?”

“If I burned his house down and threw his dad’s signed Gil Hodges home run ball in the ocean, it wouldn’t piss him off as much as me sleeping with somebody else right away.”

“Then go get it and get it good.”

“I don’t want to get it. The last thing I can think about right now is dating somebody else.”

“Whoa there. Nobody said anything about dating. This is sex. No strings attached. Speaking to you as a twice-divorced woman, you are not allowed to date somebody new for six months. Sex is fine. Sex is good. Dating’ll get you into trouble. Also don’t buy a car, a house, a Birkin bag, or go to Vegas with five thousand dollars in your underwear.”

“Did you do all of those after your divorce?”

“Everything but the Birkin bag. Those bitches are pricey. So no bags. Unless you get one for me, too. But sex, yes.” Kira pointed her well-manicured finger right at Joey’s nose. “Have insane, hot, totally meaningless sex until you remember what a goddess you are and you’ve forgotten Ben’s name because you’ve been too busy screaming some other guy’s.”

Joey took Kira’s finger in her hand and squeezed it.

“You’re a good friend. Thank you for enabling my bad behavior.”

“It’s what friends are for.”

The drop-off lane was clogged with cars. As much as Joey hated to be alone, she couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Thanks again. I’ll text you when I land.”

“Do it. And text me when you find a new guy.”

Joey grinned. “I will. If I find a new guy.”

“You will. I know it. Just remember—it’s Oregon. That’s hipster and lumberjack territory.”

“So?”

Kira pointed at her inner thighs. “Watch out for beard rash downstairs. I speak from experience.”

* * *

JOEY BOARDED HER FLIGHT—a nonstop, thank God, which meant she’d land in Portland in under two hours. Being alone on a plane, cut off from the world with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company, was not what a woman who discovered she’d been inadvertently in love with a married man for two years needed. With no internet to distract her, all Joey could do was think about the signs she missed. Ben had been the seemingly ideal boyfriend—always attentive, always thoughtful. If he had to miss her birthday one week because he had to be in LA, he’d give her the belated birthday celebration of a lifetime the next week when he came back to Honolulu. Two nights at a five-star hotel. Room service. Wine. A helicopter tour the next day. And sex, so much sex, all night long. But no matter how much she tried to reciprocate, he wouldn’t let her. She’d offered to do her part, come visit him, even get a transfer to California. He’d have nothing of it. She was his “sanctuary,” he’d said. He couldn’t imagine Hawaii without her, he’d said. Someday he’d take over as president of the company and live in Honolulu with her, he’d said. She just had to hold on a few more years, and then they’d be set for life.

Wait a few more years? Yeah, she had to wait a few more years until he had the money or the guts to leave his wife. If that even was his plan. Maybe he’d been stringing her along. She would never forget that moment Saturday morning when she’d hopped a cab from LAX to his house in West LA. She had his address, of course. She’d seen it on his checks, on work forms, on his California driver’s license. She’d expected him to be home. And he was home. He was home and so was his wife, Shannon. Shannon answered the door with a confused smile and a “Yes? Can I help you?” Joey, equally confused, said, “I’m looking for my boyfriend. Is Ben home?”

That was the moment Ben stepped into the hallway, his Nikes squeaking slightly on the ocean-blue tile flooring. He was a handsome man, almost six feet tall, dark hair, dark eyes, a devilish grin but with a dimple that made a girl forgive the devil in him.

If she’d had any hope this was all a mistake, it evaporated the second Ben opened his mouth.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ben had said with unmistakable fury. He’d never looked at her like that before, talked to her like that before. He’d always been happy to see her. If he wasn’t happy to see her, it was because that pretty lady holding the door open and looking at him, then looking at her and then looking back at him, wasn’t some well-dressed cleaning lady, but his wife. And Ben’s wife was having as bad of a day as Ben’s girlfriend was.

“Surprise” was the only word Joey could think to say. Shannon had a few other choice words to say and Joey heard them all as she walked to the curb where her cab waited just in case Ben hadn’t been home. As the cab pulled away, Joey had turned around to see Ben running toward her. She couldn’t read the look on his face—not fury, but not regret, either. She didn’t care why he ran after her. Didn’t care at all. She was numb with shock and grief. She felt nothing and would never feel anything but nothing again. At least that’s what she told herself as she fixed her makeup in a bathroom in the Portland airport. If she never loved again, she’d never hurt again and wouldn’t that be lovely?

After doing the best repair job she could on her face, she picked up her luggage and the rental car. It was nice doing normal things, nice to do boring human things. Life went on. Cars still needed renting. Luggage still needed picking up. Brothers still got married. Sisters still went to their weddings. The world didn’t end just because a man told a lie. That was good. The world would have ended a long time ago and many times over if it did.

The drive from the airport to her family’s old cabin near Lost Lake on Mount Hood was about two hours. Two beautiful hours once she was out on Highway 26 and heading west. She passed over a subtle ridge and what little was left of the city disappeared. There was nothing around for miles but the mountain, a billion trees and low-hanging clouds that brushed the treetops and rolled through the forest like gentle smoke. While Oregon was known for its evergreens, the forests had deciduous trees aplenty and they’d all gone wild with autumn colors—red and orange and lemon yellow. Even in her grief, Joey admired the beauty, took comfort in it. Hawaii was beautiful like nowhere else in the world, but damn, she had missed Oregon’s forests. The scent—there was nothing like it. Clean, so clean—pure pine and fir and all so light and airy that if you didn’t stop to breathe in deeply enough you’d miss it. But if you did breathe in on a rainy, windy day you might just smell what the world smelled like right after it was born. The trees lay so thick on Mount Hood they looked like an oil painting with the paints piled in heavy layers of emerald and black.

Finally she turned onto the winding gravel road that lead to her parents’ old Lost Lake cabin. Her phone vibrated in her pants pocket and she fished it out—carefully.

“Kira, you owe me five hundred dollars if I get caught talking to you,” she said when she answered.

“What? Five hundred dollars?”

“Five-hundred-dollar fine in Oregon for talking on your phone while driving.”

“Then why did you answer the damn phone?” Kira demanded.

“I’m on my driveway, actually, and the speed limit is five miles per hour. I think I got this.”

“Good. Found a guy to bang yet?”

“Do we really have to call it banging? Sounds so...violent.”

“Screwing? Fucking? Knocking boots?”

“Knocking boots? How old are you?” Joey asked.

“Just answer the question.”

“No, in the four hours since I last saw you I didn’t magically meet someone and screw, fuck or knock boots with him in the airport. And I’m probably not going to meet one in the next four hours, either. Or the next four days or the next two weeks. You know Lost Lake is mostly a retirement community, right? Retirees and summer vacation rentals. The only full-timers are the people who work at the lake and that’s, like...twenty people.”

“Twenty? About half of them must be guys. I like those odds.”

“I don’t.”

“Why are you staying way out there, anyway? You can go find a hot man bun in Portland.”

“The cabin is free. Mom and Dad gave it to Dillon as a wedding gift.”

“Nice gift. What do you get when you get married?” Kira asked.

“They’re paying for my wedding and honeymoon. Better deal than the cabin.”

“That bad?”

“It was almost a dump when I was a kid,” Joey said. “Now it’s just a dump. Nobody’s stayed in it in ten years as far as I know. Dillon swears up and down he got someone to clean it up a little, but he’s been up to his eyeballs in wedding planning. As long as I don’t have to bunk with a raccoon, it’ll be fine. I can rough it.”

“Better you than me. Just let me know if you need me to come up and stay with you a couple days. I mean—in a hotel, but near you. I have some vacation days banked in case of emergency. Best friend accidentally fucking a married dude for two years qualifies.”

“It’s okay. But I appreciate it. I should go. I’m at the house.”

“How bad is it? Bad? Are there snakes? Don’t tell me.”

Joey could hear the wincing in Kira’s voice. Staying at a four-star hotel was her version of “roughing it.” She parked the car in the gravel parking spot and was pleased to see the exterior of the house was in better shape than she remembered it. Much better.

“Looks good actually. They painted it. It used to be this dull green but now it’s gray. Very pretty,” Joey said as she got out of the car. “Looks like cedar shingles.”

“Fancy.”

“And the landscaping is nice, too. Someone cleaned up the yard.”

The trees and shrubs looked well-trimmed. The old broken stone path leading from the driveway to the front porch had been repaired. Every stone fit neatly and perfectly into its place. She didn’t trip like she used to when she was a kid and not paying attention to the treacherous walk.

“And somebody decorated?” she said, clinging to Kira on the phone. “I don’t think this is the same house. Did I go to the wrong house?”

“Did you?”

“No. It’s 1414 Cottonwood Way. This is it. There are carved jack-o’-lanterns on the porch. Really good ones.” She admired the mysterious carver’s handiwork. One scary face. One grinning face. One face that looked eerily like Eddie Vedder if Eddie Vedder were a jack-o’-lantern.

“Wait a minute...” Joey said.

“What?”

“Something is definitely up.” Joey lifted the welcome mat—when did they get a welcome mat?—pulled out the key and opened the front door. She’d been expecting a bare-bones cabin. That’s how she remembered it, anyway. Her parents bought the place for a song when she was seven years old and never remodeled it, never refurbished it, but they’d certainly gotten their money’s worth out of it those long summers they’d spent here. Structurally, it was sound, watertight and well-insulated. But inside it had always housed yard sale furniture, squeaky metal cots and secondhand bunk beds, unpainted walls and a kitchen that made cooking on a campfire look inviting. But now...

“Wow,” Joey breathed. “Dillon must have decided to live here with Oscar after the wedding. Although I could have sworn he said Oscar hated nature.”

“Maybe he changed his mind? Love will do that to a guy.”

“Maybe...but still. This is like Architectural Digest gorgeous now. I don’t even want to think about how much this cost.” She turned in a slow circle in the living room. All the yard sale furniture was gone and in its place she found a distressed cedar coffee table, a large rustic leather sofa, a vintage oak rocking chair with what looked like a hand-knitted burgundy throw blanket tossed over the back. Someone had polished the floors to a high shine. The small woodstove had been replaced by a large stone fireplace with a rough wood mantel. And the kitchen had new tile on the floor, a fresh coat of rustic red paint, new rugs, new appliances—nothing but the basics but they were all high quality. Under the sink she found a recycling bin with the toaster box in it. It was that new.

“I wonder if they’re fixing it up to sell it.”

“House flipping?”

“Maybe. Still, nice of them to spruce it up before I came to stay in it.”

“Very nice.”

“Probably their way of making up for the fact that my lovely brother scheduled his wedding on my birthday.”

“Your fault for being born on Halloween. Perfect day for a Portland wedding.”

“Dillon and Oscar do love dressing up. It’s an ’80s movie theme. I have to pick a costume. Maybe I’ll go as Carrie.”

“Carrie?”

“You know—the girl with the blood and the prom and all the murdering—that Carrie.”

“You’re going as a mass murderer to your brother’s wedding?”

“It fits my mood.”

Except her mood was lifting a little. How could it not in this cabin, this beautiful cozy cabin in the woods? All the place was missing was a man to share it with. She and Ben would have had great sex in this cabin in the woods. They’d be in bed already. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not now or ever. Ben had committed an unforgivable sin. He’d lied to his wife. He’d lied to her. He’d betrayed her trust on the deepest level possible, and she would never take him back no matter how lonely she felt without him. And she did feel so terribly alone.

“This is a sex cabin, Kira.”

“Sounds like it.”

“I’m in a sex cabin, and I can’t have sex. This is depressing.”

“You can have sex. Go find someone to have sex with. Right now.”

“I’m in the middle of the woods. The next cabin is half a mile west.”

“Then start walking. Bigfoot’s probably out there. He’s probably well-hung.”

“And hairy.”

“I warned you about the beard rash thing.”

The floor creaked with the sound of footsteps.

But not hers. Joey hadn’t moved.

“Shit,” she whispered into the phone.

“What?” Kira whispered back, unnecessarily.

Joey looked up at the ceiling.

“Someone’s here. Stay on the line with me.”

“Yeah, of course. Are you sure?”

“I heard footsteps upstairs.”

“Then get the fuck out of the house. This isn’t a horror movie. Do not investigate.”

“Right. Going. Right now.”

Joey started backing up toward the door, her heart racing. The footsteps continued across the floor above her head. They were fast and purposeful footsteps, not at all tentative but also not threatening. They were heavy, too, like whoever was walking wore either work boots or cowboy boots. She hadn’t heard that sound in a long time. Even the VPs at her Oahu Air office often came to work in sandals or flip-flops—one of the perks of working one hundred yards or so from the ocean.

“Jo? You there?” Kira whispered again.

“I’m here. Hello?”

“Yes, I’m still here.”

“Not you. I was talking to whoever’s up there. I think he’s working here.”

“Hey there,” came a voice from the top of the stairs. A male voice. A deep yet friendly voice. “Joey Silvia?”

“That’s me. And you are?”

“It’s Chris. I’m almost done up here with the ceiling fan,” the man called down to her.

“Has he murdered you yet?” Kira asked.

“Not yet. He says his name is Chris, and he’s doing something with the ceiling fan.”

“Is he hot?”

“Am I supposed to run screaming from him or have sex with him?” Joey whispered.

“Depends on if he’s hot or not. Go look.”

“You just told me to leave,” Joey half whispered, half yelled.

“You can leave, but find out if he’s hot first.”

“Okay... I’m going up. If my phone dies and/or you hear the sound of me screaming, hang up and call the cops.”

“What if he’s not murdering you, but you’re screaming because it’s such good sex? Do I still call the cops?”

“I’m not a screamer.”

“If he’s the right guy you will be.”

“I’m going to go up and see what he’s doing.” She glanced out the kitchen window and saw a large green Ford pickup parked behind the house with the words Lost Lake Painting and Contracting on the side in black-and-gold letters. Okay, not an ax murderer, then. Just the guy she should probably thank for doing such a good job on the house.

“I’ll stay on the line,” Kira said. “If you think he’s going to murder you, say, um, ‘I’m on the phone with my best friend, Kira. She’s a cop. And she’s sleeping with a cop. No, two cops. Cop threesome.’”

“I’m just supposed to work that into a casual conversation with a possible murderer?”

“And if he’s sexy and you want to bang him, just say, ‘Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it?’”

“It’s the Pacific Northwest. In October. It’s forty-eight degrees out and raining.”

“Just say it!”

“You are the worst friend ever.”

“You’re welcome. Now go check him out. Try not to get murdered.”

Joey crept up the stairs and found they no longer squeaked like they used to. The rotting middle board they had to step over was gone. Someone had replaced the old stairs with beautiful reclaimed pine from the looks of it.

“You still there?” Joey said as she made it to the top of the stairs.

“I’m still here,” Kira replied. “You’re not dead yet?”

“Not dead. Yet.”

The upstairs of the cabin consisted of two small bedrooms with a full bath between them. And whatever magic had been done on the downstairs had wended its way upstairs, too. New bathroom fixtures of brushed copper. The grimy tub had been replaced with a new and huge bathtub inlaid with stone tile. Somehow this Lost Lake contractor had managed to make the house look both old and authentic and yet brand-new at the same time.

“Hello?” she called out.

“I’m in the master,” the male voice answered.

“I heard his voice,” Kira said over the line. “Good voice. Calm and manly. He’s probably comfortable hugging his guy friends and telling his dad he loves him.”

“You got that much from four words?” Joey asked.

“I’m very intuitive.”

Joey shook her head and walked down the narrow hallway to a partly open door. This had to be the master bedroom, not that she’d ever thought of it like that. Master bedroom sounded imposing, impressive. The “master” bedroom she remembered had a tablecloth for a curtain and a mattress propped up on a sheet of plywood and cinder blocks where her parents slept.

“I’m going in,” Joey said under her breath, her phone still plastered to her ear.

She eased the door open...stepped inside...looked up...

There on a step stool stood a man, a much younger man than she expected. All contractors were forty and up in her mind but this guy looked no more than late twenties maybe. He had dirty-blond hair cut neat and a close-trimmed nearly blond beard. He was looking up, concentrating on the wiring above his head. He wore jeans, neither tight nor baggy but perfectly fitted, and a red-and-navy flannel shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with a fitted white T-shirt underneath.

“Hey, Joey,” he said with a grin. “Good to see you again. How’s Hawaii been treating you?”

He turned his head her way and grinned at her. She knew that grin.

“Chris?” This Chris was that Chris?

“Chris? Who’s Chris? You know this guy?” Kira rasped in her ear.

She knew this guy. It was Chris, wasn’t it?

Oh, my God, it was Chris.

Chris... Chris Steffensen. Dillon’s high school best friend. The skinny, scrawny, long-haired, baggy-pants-wearing, Nirvana wannabe even a decade after Nirvana was an appropriate thing to be obsessed with at their high school... This was that Chris? That Chris she wouldn’t have trusted to screw in a lightbulb, and now he was wiring up a ceiling fan? And seemed to be doing a very good job of it.

“Did you...did you fix up this whole house?” she asked, rudely ignoring his question about Hawaii.

“Oh, yeah. I’m doing some work for Dillon and Oscar these days. Long story. You like what we did with the place?”

He grinned again, a boyish eager grin. She couldn’t see anything else in the world because that bright white toothy smile took over his face and her entire field of vision. Damn, he was pretty. When did he get so pretty? And he was taller than she remembered. He must have had a bit of a post-high-school growth spurt. Taller and broader. Those shoulders of his...well, there was only one thing to say about that.

Joey hoped Kira was still listening.

“Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it?”

2

CHRIS STARED AT HER, brow furrowed.

“Joking,” she said. “I know it’s bad weather.”

“It’s Oregon weather. Should we awkwardly hug now?”

“God, yes.”

“I’m going to hang up,” Kira said, laughing into Joey’s ear. Joey ended the call and stuffed her phone into her jacket pocket.

“Did you...just hang up on somebody?” Chris asked, his eyebrow slightly arched. When did he learn how to do that?

“Yes. No. She hung up on me first. It’s okay. We’re friends. We do that a lot. Hug now?”

He jumped lightly down from his stool, and Joey stepped into his arms. He’d said “awkward” and it was but also it wasn’t. First of all, he felt good—warm and solid and strong. And second, he smelled good, like sweat and cedar. Finally, it was just Chris, after all, even if it had been nearly ten years since she’d seen him.

“God, it’s good to see you again,” he said softly, like he meant it. It was the absolute opposite of Ben’s “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Yeah, you, too.” She stepped back out of his arms before making a fool of herself by bursting into tears.

“You’re a day early. Dillon said you wouldn’t be here until tomorrow.”

“I changed my flight. Is that a problem?”

“Not a problem at all. I just meant to be out of here by then. But I’m almost done. The master was the last thing. Ceiling fan, then paint.”

“No hurry. Stay as long as you need to. All night even.” She winced. Why did she say that? “So...how are you?”

“Fine.” He sounded slightly suspicious. She didn’t blame him. She was acting slightly odd. Finding out you’d been dating a married man could do that to a girl. “You? How’s Hawaii?”

“Lovely. Lots of volcanoes.”

“You’re on a volcano right now.”

“Hawaii and Oregon have a lot in common. Volcanoes and rain. And...that’s it.”

“They’re practically twins. You look great, by the way,” Chris said.

“I’m wet.”

Chris’s eyebrow went up another notch.

“Wet from the rain,” she said hastily.

“Right. The rain. Hawaii’s been good to you.”

It was sweet that he said that, but she looked like hell and she knew it. She’d dressed in the classic Oregon uniform of Columbia jacket (red), jeans (blue), rain boots (a nondescript army green) and no umbrella. Umbrellas were for tourists, which meant her dark hair was plastered to her forehead. And she’d cried a little in the car and given herself raccoon eyes. She had naturally warm brown skin, which she’d inherited from her Mexican-American father, and a Hawaiian tan on top of it, so at least she wouldn’t appear as washed out as she felt. If she’d known Chris would be here looking as good as he did, she would have made more of an effort.

“You look fantastic. I barely recognized you with the short hair and beard. When did that happen?”

“Short hair? Um, eight years ago? The real world made me do it. The beard? Last November. Bad breakup. She dumped me for a Trail Blazer. I stopped shaving. Everyone told me I looked better with the beard so I kept it. I trimmed it, though. I had a little ZZ Top thing going on.”

“A Trail Blazer? Like one of the basketball players or the cars? Because if she dumped you for a car, that’s weird.”

“The basketball players. Apparently she had a thing for tall guys.”

“You’re tall. You’re huge.”

That eyebrow went up one more notch.

“I keep saying sexual things without meaning to,” she said. “Sorry. I’m running on very little sleep. I can’t be held responsible for what my mouth does.”

The eyebrow was as high as it could go.

“I did it again, didn’t I?” she asked.

“It’s okay, Jo.” He furrowed his brow. “Do you still go by Jo? Joey? I don’t want to call you that if you don’t. Are you Jolene now?”

“Definitely not Jolene. Everyone still calls me Jo or Joey. They better since it’s all I answer to.”

“Joey, it is. I’m almost done here, and then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“You aren’t in my hair at all. The cabin looks amazing. I can’t believe you did all this.”

“Not all of it. I had to subcontract the exterior. I can do cedar siding but it takes forever.”

“But the rest of it? The floors, the kitchen, the paint...the pumpkins?”

“Some kids were selling pumpkins at a stand by the road. I’m a sucker.”

“Were you always good at painting and flooring and advanced pumpkin carving and you just kept it a secret?”

He shrugged. “I learned a lot of it from Dad. Except the pumpkin carving. That’s self-taught.”

“You go to school for this?”

He nodded. “Yeah, trade school. Then I apprenticed for a few years. Anybody can learn to do this stuff. Just takes time.”

“Mount Hood must keep you busy. Half the cabins around here were falling down when we were kids.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. I had to turn down four other jobs to do this one for Dillon.”

“You could have told him no.”

“Nah.” He grinned again. “He said you’d be staying here for the wedding. I couldn’t let my high school crush crash in a dump, could I? If the ceiling caved in on you, I’d never forgive myself.”

Joey laughed, rolled her eyes.

“So now you finally admit it.”

“Only took me ten years. But don’t worry. I’m totally over you.” He waved his hand, signing a “done” motion. She might have believed him but for the twinkle of mirth in his eyes.

“You never told me...were you the one who put the roses in my locker on Valentine’s Day?”

“Maybe...”

“Did you pick my lock?”

“No. Dillon did.”

“Oh, that asshole.” She shook her head in exasperation. “I told him I was going nuts trying to figure out who did it, and he played dumb. He’s so good at playing dumb I believed him. Or maybe I thought he was just dumb.”

“He didn’t want to out me. He’d been through that himself.”

“Yeah, that was a rough year,” Joey said, remembering the year when the rumors about Dillon being gay got started. He’d trusted the wrong friend with the secret and in a week the entire school knew. She and Chris had taken shifts with Dillon, walking with him to and from class, to and from home. As long as there were witnesses around, they were pretty sure nobody would jump Dillon and beat the shit out of him. They’d had a few close calls. Chris had bloodied more than one nose protecting Dillon. “I’m so glad he had you back then.”

At least this time he didn’t raise his eyebrow at her, but she could tell he wanted to.

“You know what I mean,” she said. “Not had you. Unless he did. Which is fine. I kind of wondered what you two were up to in the garage.”

“Smoking weed.”

“That’s not sexy at all.”

“Sorry to disappoint you with my straightness. I promise, I was born this way.”

“It’s quite disappointing. I already had yours and Dillon’s wedding planned before my own.”

“That’s far-thinking of you. That wasn’t even legal until last year here.”

“I was a dreamer. And I thought you’d both look so cute in bow ties.”

“I’ve never been happier to be not marrying Dillon than I am right now.”

“No respect for the bow tie. It’s a classic. James Bond wore a bow tie. Brando wore a bow tie.”

“Pee-wee Herman wore a bow tie.”

“Yes, Pee-wee.” She pointed at his chest. “That’s who you should be for the wedding. You are going, aren’t you?”

“I’m going,” he said. “I wasn’t really planning on wearing a costume, though.”

“You have to. It’s on the invitation. And Pee-wee’s Big Adventure was an ’80s movie.”

“How about a costume that doesn’t involve bow ties? Maybe something more along the lines of John McClane. Die Hard, maybe? Easy costume.”

“So you’ll just wear gray slacks and a dirty nasty white T-shirt to the wedding?” She feigned disgust but the thought of Chris in a sweaty sleeveless undershirt was quite...nice. Nice as the weather they weren’t having right now.

“And bloody feet. Don’t forget that part. Who are you going as?”

“I was thinking Carrie. Bloody prom dress to match your bloody feet.”

“Carrie came out in the ’70s.”

“You sure?”

“I’ve seen every Stephen King movie at least five times.”

“Five times? What is wrong with you?”

“Don’t ask,” he said.

“Got any other ideas?”

“Got a metal bikini? You can be Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi.”

“It’s a little chilly for that, don’t you think?”

“There goes that fantasy.” He smiled again. She blushed. Oh, my God, they were flirting. She was flirting. He was flirting. Flirting was happening. Did Kira make this happen? Or was it Dillon? Was he trying to put her and Chris alone in the house together? Very possible. Dillon never liked Ben. And she knew a setup when she saw one.

“So...who are Oscar and Dillon going as?” Chris asked.

“They won’t tell anybody. It’s a big gay secret, Dillon said.”

“He called it a ‘big gay secret’?” Chris asked.

“You know my brother.”

“Intimately,” he said. “Wait. Never mind.”

“Any guesses?” Joey asked.

“Kirk and Spock from one of those ’80s Star Trek movies. They’re both nerds. It could work. Walking, talking fan fiction.”

“My money’s on Bill and Ted,” Joey said.

“Whoa.”

“Exactly.”

“You know who you should go as...” Chris pointed his screwdriver at her and it was neither threatening nor sexual. Especially when he flipped it casually and stuck it in his back pocket like a kid gunslinger holstering a toy pistol.

“Who?”

“Since the guys hijacked your birthday for their wedding...you should go as what’s-her-name from that movie.”

“That doesn’t help me.”

“Girl. Redhead. Birthday cake.” He snapped his fingers repeatedly. “You know, Molly Something.”

“Sixteen Candles?”

“That’s it. Didn’t her sister get married on her birthday?” Chris asked.

“Day after but close enough. Oh, my God, that’s a great idea. Dillon will think it’s hilarious. He loves that movie. I’ll go as Sam. All I have to do is get a red wig and a floofy bridesmaid dress. Or some kind of Laura Ashley nightmare to wear and a hat. Will you come with me?”

“As who? Don’t say Dong.”

“No, you can put on a pink button-down shirt and be Farmer Ted. Just pop your collar.”

“Will you let me walk around with your underwear in my pocket like he did?”

“You remembered my birthday. You can walk around with my underwear in your teeth if you want.”

Chris’s eyes widened just slightly.

“This conversation got weird fast,” she said.

“I’ve never had anyone offer to let me hold their underwear in my mouth at a wedding.”

“Well, it is Dillon’s wedding.”

“Fair point.”

She rocked back on her heels. “I’m just gonna get my stuff out of the car. Or maybe I should wait since the bedroom’s not done yet.”

“The other bedroom is all set up. You can put your stuff in there.”

“Our old bedroom? You fixed it up?”

“I did. Go check it out. Turned out pretty nice.”

He wore an expression on his face that made her a teeny tiny bit suspicious. She walked out of the master bedroom and down the hall into the second bedroom. She’d always liked that room better. Better view of the forest and she could even catch the occasional glimpse of Mount Hood’s snowy peak on clear days.

She opened the door and her jaw dropped. Chris had outdone himself. The plaster that covered the walls had been removed, leaving the rough wood boards exposed. They gleamed a golden hue in the warm lamplight. A hand-woven blue-and-gray rug covered most of the hardwood floor. A large bed sat in the center of the room. The headboard and footboard were all dark wood, roughly carved but sanded smooth, stained and polished. Piled high on the bed were pillows and blankets. The downstairs woodstove had been brought up to the guest room and a hole cut into the wall to vent it properly. Framed photographs of Mount Hood and the surrounding forest in all seasons lined the walls. It was everything rustic and luxurious and lovely all in one. She could be very happy in this room and in this house. Or, at least, not as miserable as she thought she’d be. Even the frames on the photographs were beautiful distressed wood. A small thing but she admired it, was grateful for it.

“You’re good,” she said as Chris came to stand behind her.

“So I’ve been told. But don’t be too impressed. A friend of mine makes those frames, not me. But I did make the bed.”

“You do excellent hospital corners.”

He chuckled softly. “No, I mean, I made the bed.”

“You...carved the bed?”

“There’s all these trees around here. Might as well put them to use.”

“You literally made the bed?”

“I literally made the bed. Impressed?”

“I am. Are you trying to impress me?”

“I don’t know. It is working?”

“It’s sort of working.” It was definitely working. “So...you want to get a drink later? My treat.”

Kira would be so proud of her, asking Chris out for a drink two days after being dumped.

“You betcha.”

She was officially back in Oregon. You betcha? When was the last time she heard that?

“But I have to finish up the master first.”

“Can I help?”

“You want to help?”

“I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t. What are we doing?”

“Painting. I finished painting the ceiling. Gotta paint the walls now. It’s all taped off already.”

“I can paint. I’m good with the trim.”

“You start the trim, I’ll roll the walls. But you’ll need to take those clothes off.”

“Chris, we just, I mean—”

“You’ll get paint on your clothes, Jo.”

“Right. Paint. I’ll...just get my stuff out of the car and change clothes real quick.”

“Take your time. I’ll finish wiring the ceiling fan.”

“Did you make the ceiling fan, too?”

“No. But I did put on the stairs and the stair rail. It’s all pine.”

“You’re really good with wood.”

“You did that one on purpose, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Let’s pretend I did.”

Chris didn’t laugh at her but she caught him smiling as he left her alone in her new room. Well, not her room but the room that would be hers while home for the wedding. She hadn’t taken a vacation in a couple years. After everything that had happened with Ben she was tempted to take it all at once and not go back to work until after Thanksgiving. In fact, she was sorely tempted not to go back to work ever. Not there, anyway. Not if she had to face Ben.

Except she’d promised Kira she wouldn’t make any major life changes for six months. It was good advice, very wise. She had to go back to work, didn’t she? Of course she did. She was in the right and Ben was in the wrong. She wasn’t about to let him win by quitting and slinking away with her tail between her legs.

No. Stop. Joey refused to think about Ben or work or anything else as she hauled her suitcase and overnight bag up the reclaimed pine wood stairs and into the bedroom. Funny—she’d been looking forward to a quiet night alone in the cabin before facing her brother and parents and giving them the news about her and Ben. She wanted the one night to pull herself together, to figure out a story to tell her family about why she broke up with Ben that wouldn’t make her look like the worst person on earth and/or the stupidest person on earth. But hanging out with Chris and working on the house seemed like a far better way to get her head together than sitting alone in an empty cabin and ruminating on every clue she’d missed, every blind eye she’d turned. Better to work, do something, distract herself, stay busy. Painting the master bedroom with Chris actually sounded sort of fun.

She pulled on an old long-sleeved T-shirt that she slept in and tied a red bandana around her hair. When she went into the master bedroom she found Chris had finished up with the ceiling fan and was pouring a warm brown paint, the color of milk chocolate, into a large plastic tub. He was whistling.

“Is that ‘All Apologies’?” she asked as she selected a two-inch paintbrush from his kit on the floor.

“It is.”

“You’re whistling Nirvana while you work. You know most people whistle happy tunes.”

“So ‘Heart-Shaped Box,’ then?”

She pointed her paintbrush at him. “You’ve changed completely, but you haven’t changed at all.”

“I could say the same to you,” he said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eyes. She was ninety percent sure he’d just checked her out. Good. She’d been checking him out since she walked in the door.

He handed her a small roller tray filled with paint. She dipped her brush in the tray, soaked it with paint and coated the wall by the doorframe with a smooth line of warm mocha.

“Wait, not that wall,” Chris said, his voice full of pure panic.

Joey gasped and spun around “What? Sorry. Did I—”

He grinned. Broadly.

“Oh, you asshole,” she said. She brandished her paintbrush in his direction and he ducked.

“I’m not sorry but I want to be sorry.”

“I’m going to paint now, and if you scare me like that again, I’ll paint your flannel.”

“But this is my dress flannel. I wore it to my father’s funeral.”

“Please tell me you didn’t wear a flannel shirt to your dad’s funeral. Please.”

“I didn’t. But only because Dad’s still alive.”

She sighed, shook her head and got back to painting while Chris returned to his whistling and rolling. He was the same Chris even if this Chris had short hair, a perfect beard and clothes that actually fit his body. His distractingly good body. She made herself focus as she painted. It was nice transforming the dingy beige walls a cozy chocolate color. It was the perfect color for this room. A forest color. A homey color.

“You picked the color?” she asked.

“I did, yeah.”

“I love it. I wouldn’t have thought a color so dark would look good in here but it does.”

“Dark warm colors work best in low-light rooms.”

“Did you learn that in trade school?”

“Pinterest.”

She stared at him.

“What?” he said. “It’s my job.”

They returned to their painting. Chris had a Pinterest account. Now that was adorable. He was adorable. If he got any more adorable, she would be forced to adore him.

Joey wished Kira hadn’t told her to sleep with the very first guy she could find as part of her recovery strategy. Now she couldn’t stop thinking about Chris like that. She wanted to think it was because she was starting to get over the shock of her breakup, but she was afraid she was flirting with Chris just because her best friend told her to, and because she wanted to soothe her bruised heart and ego with the balm of male attention.

Chris wiped sweat off his forehead and peeled out of his flannel shirt. His basic white T-shirt showed off his sinewy forearms and strong muscular biceps to marvelous effect.

Okay, so she was flirting with him because she wanted to and for no other reason. Thanks to those sexy arms of his, her conscience was now officially clear.

“You know what would look good in here? White bed linens,” she said. “That would make a nice contrast with the dark brown paint. Like a hotel bed.”

“Good idea. That would look hot. I mean, nice.”

It would look hot. This room with this paint and that big bed with fresh white Egyptian cotton sheets? She was glad he was thinking what she was thinking.

“I’ll pick some up tomorrow,” she said.

“I’ll do it. I still have Dillon’s credit card.”

“We could both go tonight. I can help you pick stuff out,” she said. It was still early evening. They could make it to Portland or Hood River if they hurried.

“We could get our drink after,” Chris said. “Maybe dinner, too?”

Had Chris just asked her out on a date? A real date or a “we knew each other in high school and are morally obligated to catch up with each other” date? She’d assume it was the latter and hope it was the former.

“Dinner sounds great,” she said. “Painting made me hungry.”

“Me, too. But we did good. Good team.” He held out his fist and she bumped it. The room did look pretty amazing.

“It was fun. I needed to get my mind off stuff. This helped.”

“What stuff?”

“I don’t remember,” she said. “That’s how well it worked.”

“Glad I could help by putting you to work. If you need more distraction, you could clean the gutters.”

“You know what? I’m good. But thanks for the offer.”

“Dinner now?” he asked.

“Yes, please.”

Chris turned on the ceiling fan to help dry the paint more quickly. Joey went to the guest room—her room apparently for the next couple of weeks—to figure out what to wear for their date. Not a date. Not really. Well, sort of a date. She had two missed texts from Kira.

Text message one read, Have you banged him yet?

Text message two read, How about now?

Joey wrote back, No, we haven’t banged yet. He’s an old friend from high school. We are going out to dinner so stop texting me. If/when there is banging, you will be the first to know.

Then she sent a quick text to Dillon letting him know she made it to the cabin a day early and she’d see him tomorrow unless he was dying to see her tonight, which she knew he wasn’t because she still had a feeling he’d planted Chris here in the cabin for nefarious reasons. Seemed like something Dillon would do.

She cleaned up for dinner as quickly as she could. Chris had seen to everything in the house, every little detail. He’d even installed a rain showerhead and put new soft cotton towels in the bathroom linen closet. It was like staying in a hotel, a hotel that came with its own sexy contractor/concierge, which made this the best hotel she’d ever stayed in.

While drying her hair she realized she was smiling. That was good, right? She’d cried all Saturday night on Kira’s couch at her place in LA. Smiling was a huge improvement over gut-wrenching sobbing. She felt more human back in Oregon, back on the mountain and near the lake where she’d spent so much of her childhood. If she wanted to go to the lake she could walk there blindfolded—out the back door and down the cut stone path to the edge of the forest. Then five hundred and sixty-eight steps on the dirt path. She knew the exact number because she’d counted as a kid because kids did weird obsessive stuff like count their steps. It was also one thousand one hundred and thirty-seven steps to the main road and nine hundred ninety-one steps to where she and Chris and Dillon had set up their campfires in high school.

It had always been the three of them back then—her and Dillon and Chris. Dillon wasn’t the sort of brother to resent his sister’s company. He’d needed her, even wanted her, around. Part of it was fear. At age fourteen he’d confessed to her he was ninety-nine percent sure he was gay, and she’d kept his secret for him until he’d worked up the courage to tell their parents. He’d told Chris shortly thereafter, and she and Chris had been first his secret keepers and then his protectors when the secret got out. At the time it hadn’t seemed strange that Chris had guarded Dillon’s back after her brother got outed at their mostly rural high school. They’d been friends forever. Of course Chris watched out for Dillon because Dillon would have done the same for Chris. But only now, after so many stories in the news about kids and bullies and suicide and school shootings and all that, did it occur to her that Chris had put his life on the line by protecting Dillon. Dillon’s life was on the line every single day just for being Dillon, but Chris had been right there with him, throwing punches when needed, and sadly, those punches had been needed.

Thinking back she was so grateful both Dillon and Chris survived those two ugly terrifying years of high school with their bodies and spirits intact. Still, she had to wonder if her constant worrying for her big brother was the reason she never got around to noticing how hot his best friend was?

By the time she finished blow-drying her long, dark hair and dressing in clean jeans, her knee-high leather boots and a red sweater, Chris had finished up in the master.

“Your car or my truck?” he asked as he pulled on his jacket. “Or should we go separately?”

She paused before answering. If they went together in the same vehicle, that meant they’d both have to come back to the cabin tonight. If they drove separately, Joey could come home alone and Chris could return to his place, wherever that was. Driving separately made sense. Driving together made it a date. Chris had left it up to her, like a gentleman. She liked that.

“Your truck,” she said. “The only small cars the rental place had left were Miatas. I don’t trust rear-wheel drives in Oregon rain.”

“I’ll drive, then. Truck’s a little messy, fair warning.”

“I can handle it.” She pulled up her jacket hood and opened the front door where she promptly received a slap of frigid sleet right in her face.

She stepped back inside the house and closed the door.

She wiped the sleet off her face and looked at Chris.

“Nice weather we’re having,” he said. “Isn’t it?”

3

THEY ATE IN, which was fine. More than fine as Chris had filled the fridge per Dillon’s request with all the basics. She threw together a salad while Chris cooked chicken on the George Foreman grill. It wasn’t haute cuisine but it tasted a lot better than that mouthful of icy rain and sleet had earlier. While they ate she flipped through her pictures on her phone and showed Chris photos of the beach and her last whale-watching excursion. None of the pictures in her phone were of her and Ben together. He was camera shy, he’d told her. Another red flag she ignored.

Chris took out his phone then and showed her before, during and after pictures of the cabin as he’d cleaned it up and remodeled it. She couldn’t believe how thoroughly he’d transformed it.

“This place used to be such a dump,” she said. “Remember?”

“It was a nice dump, though,” he said. “Lots of good memories here. It was fun working on the place. It needed help.”

“How much is all this costing Dillon?” she asked, waving her fork around the newly remodeled cabin. Now that Chris had fixed the place up so beautifully, she was half-tempted to see if Dillon would sell it to her. Although with all the renovations, it was probably out of her price range.

“Not as much as it should. I gave him a discount on the labor. The interior work was about five. The exterior another five.”

“That’s not much for this kind of makeover.”

“You can swing a lot of bargains if you know what you’re doing.”

“And you definitely know what you’re doing.”

“I do now.” He took a bite of his salad and it appeared he was trying to cover up a smile. Of what? Pride? Pleasure in her compliment? Because this felt like a date?

“Is Dillon selling the place?”

“Did he say something to you about it?”

She shook her head. “No. Just a guess. I know Oscar’s not the mountain-life sort of guy. He said he hates nature so much that when someone says being gay is ‘unnatural’ he takes it as a compliment because nature is so gross and horrible.”

Chris laughed. “Oscar’s great. You’ll like him.”

“So are they selling it?”

“Not selling it. They’re planning on renting it out. He asked me to fix it up and gave me a ten thousand dollar limit. I used every penny.”

“He can afford it,” she said. Dillon made mid-six figures at his law firm, and Oscar was several years older and very well-off from his investment banking job. She didn’t begrudge Dillon his success, though, not with the hours he put in. She much preferred her forty-hour workweek and her evenings and weekends off to enjoy her life. And she had been enjoying it. Until meeting Ben’s wife, that is. But tonight...she was kind of enjoying tonight.

“So...can I ask something?” he said.

“You just did.”

He glared at her.

“Ask,” she said.

“Why’d you come back?”

“My brother’s getting married? I would assume that’s a good enough reason.”

“No, you said you changed your flight to come back early. You had a weird look on your face when you said it.”

“Oh. That.” She sat back from the bar. They’d eaten at the bar on counter stools instead of the table. Since the bar was small they sat on opposite sides facing each other. It felt more informal that way, more like friends than the strangers they’d become to each other. “I had booked a couple days in LA between Hawaii and here. I had plans with a friend and they sort of fell through. So I came home a day early.”

It was technically true. Her boyfriend was also her friend and she’d had plans for them. She’d barely wrapped her mind around the accidental affair she’d been having for the past two years. She wasn’t about to drop all that on Chris’s lap. The lap could be used for much better purposes.

“You called it home.”

“What?” Joey asked.

“You called Oregon home. You said you came home a day early. Do you still think of Oregon as home?”

“Well... I did grow up here. That makes it home.”

“Does Hawaii feel like home?”

“No. Not that that’s a bad thing. It’s been an adventure, but it’s never felt permanent. Maybe it will someday. When I go places and people ask where I’m from I still say Oregon, even though I’ve been living there for years. So yeah, Oregon is home still. And I’m glad I had it to come home to after...you know, my plans didn’t work out. I feel better already being back.”

“Sorry your trip didn’t work out with your friend.”

“It’s okay. It’s for the best, really. Will you excuse me?”

Joey put her napkin down and walked quickly but not too quickly to the downstairs bathroom. She didn’t have to go, but she did need to take a few deep breaths to calm herself down. Crying with Kira all night and a few hours painting a bedroom with Chris wasn’t going to heal the wound that fast. But she refused to succumb to tears. Ben didn’t deserve any more of her tears.

In the kitchen she heard the distinct beeping of her phone. She’d set it to wolf whistle whenever she got a message.

“That’s Dillon,” she yelled through the door as she dried her hands. “What does he want?”

“He wants to know if I’ve banged you yet.”

“Oh, shit...” Joey buried her face in her hands, took a deep breath and peeked her head out of the bathroom.

“That text wasn’t from Dillon,” she said.

Chris eyed her with amusement—thank God.

“Not unless you put him under ‘Kira’ in your contacts list. I didn’t know I was supposed to bang you.”

“Ugh.”

“Ugh?”

“Yes, ugh.” She eased back down onto her bar stool, wincing in her extreme embarrassment. “I have to tell you something.”

“Before or after I bang you?”

She grimaced. “Cute. Here’s the thing.” She clasped her hands in front of her.

“How do you feel about spooning? I’m for it myself if I get to be the big spoon.”

“Now I remember why I didn’t have a crush on you in high school.”

He laughed, which was good. Better than getting up and leaving before she could explain herself.

“I told you I had plans with a friend in LA and they didn’t work out? Well... I have a boyfriend. Had a boyfriend. At least, I thought he was a boyfriend.”

“What was he?”

“A husband.”

“He was your husband?”

“No. He wasn’t my husband. That’s the problem.”

Chris started to sit back but then clearly realized he was on a bar stool and leaned forward instead.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“No...no, it really isn’t good. Ben works at Oahu Air. He’s one of the VPs there. Luckily not of my department. He commutes from LA. Couple weeks in Honolulu. Couple weeks in LA. He says he hates LA, and I believed him, but I like LA so I thought I’d visit him there. A surprise. Happy surprise? No. Not happy surprise.”

“What happened?”

“I went to his house and rang the bell, and his wife opened the door.”

“Fuck.”

“My sentiments exactly. Two years. We dated two years. Nobody at work knew he was married. He kept it a secret for whatever reason. Probably so he could date in Hawaii, which he did. We were together two years before I figured out he was married. And I didn’t even figure it out. It had to be shoved down my throat.” She took a ragged breath. “So...as you can imagine, I’m feeling pretty stupid.”

“You shouldn’t feel stupid. Sounds like he had his game down pat.”

“Nobody at work knew. Not even my friend Kira, who worked with him in the LA office. Kira told me that the best way to get over one guy is to get under another.”

“It’s a sound theory, really.”

“When I got here I was on the phone with her. And I told her you were cute, and she told me to sleep with you. I told her to mind her own business. She’s not good at that part. As you saw. Again, sorry. That was awkward.”

“You’re having a bad week. It’s okay.”

“You know, Dillon never liked Ben. I thought it was because Dillon’s never met him. Ben would never come back to visit home with me. He’d only see me in Honolulu. Dillon must have known something was off. I should have known. That should have been a bright red flag in my face.”

“Do you remember what you said to me when Cassie dumped me my senior year? It made me feel a lot better.”

“I said something?”

“You said something.”

“What did I say?”

“You said, ‘Forget it. Wanna go see Batman Begins with us?’”

“That’s it? That’s the big thing I said to you?”

“It wasn’t a big thing. It was a little thing. It made me feel normal again, going to see a movie with you and Dillon. It made me remember that life goes on and that’s a good thing.”

“And it was a good movie.”

“Fucking A it was.”

“So you think we should watch a Batman movie?”

“No.”

“What should we do, then?” she asked.

He put his glass of wine down and moved his plate out of the way.

Then he moved her plate out of the way.

Then he leaned across the bar and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Joey’s eyes widened as he pulled back.

“I should have asked if I could do that before I did that,” he said.

“You can do that.”

“I already did it.”

“You can do it again.”

Chris leaned in again, kissed her again. By the time that kiss was done, she had her smile back.

“And again,” she said.

“Are you sure? This is a little weird.” Chris winced. He was even cute wincing and that was cute.

“Weird? Why?”

“Because I wanted to do this ten years ago. And then I didn’t think about it for, oh, nine years and six months or so. And now...here I am doing it. High school me is freaking out.”

“What about grown-up you?”

“He’s freaking out, too. But in a much cooler way. Like, so cool you can’t even tell.”

“I can tell,” she said.

“How?” The corners of his eyes crinkled a little when he smiled.

“Because I’m freaking out and I’m projecting.”

“You’re prettier than you were in high school, and in high school you were perfect.”

“You’re prettier than you were in high school, too.”

“And?”

“And...”

“I didn’t look perfect in high school?”

“You wore a chain wallet.”

“So there was a lot of room for improvement.”

“You improved. You definitely improved.” She leaned forward and kissed him back.

He deepened the kiss subtly and gently, but she felt the change. The first kiss had been tentative and sweet, the second kiss playful and now this third kiss...this third kiss was something else entirely.

Ben didn’t have a beard. No facial hair at all. And she was pretty sure she’d never kissed a guy with a real beard, not just a five-o’clock shadow. Very quickly she decided she liked it. The hair tickled her top lip and her chin while he softly kissed her lips, and when the tickling grew to be too much, she opened her mouth to him and he slipped his tongue between her teeth.

This was now officially a real kiss. A really real kiss. A kiss that was going places. She cupped his face, lightly stroking his chin and cheeks with her thumbs as she deepened the kiss. Chris made a soft sound in the back of his throat, a distinct sound, pure pleasure. She wanted to hear it again.

And again...

Joey couldn’t believe she was doing this, kissing Chris. Not because it was Chris so much as it wasn’t Ben. Kira told her the quickest way to get over one guy was to get under another, but that was Kira’s thing, not hers. Joey never even dated in high school and had one boyfriend in college. She’d never had a one-night stand, never took risks like this, making out—and maybe more—with someone who’d been a virtual stranger all of two hours ago.

Except he wasn’t a virtual stranger even if they hadn’t seen each other in years. This was Chris Steffensen. He’d driven her and Dillon to school for two straight years of high school. He’d taught her how to shoot a bow and arrow one summer at the lake. He’d walked on her brother’s left side while she’d walked on his right between classes Dillon’s senior year when the bullying was at its absolute worst and she had actual nightmares her brother would be the next Matthew Shepard. But Dillon had made it through that awful time and gone off to college in New York. Meanwhile Chris had gone to work and she hadn’t given him much thought since then.

“I wish we hadn’t lost touch after school,” she said against his lips.

“Losing touch isn’t that bad as long as you, I don’t know, start finding touch again.”

She smiled into his lips and touched his face once more. “I think I found it.”

With the bar in the way they couldn’t do anything but kiss. So they had a couple choices—just keep kissing or find somewhere more comfortable.

“You want to go somewhere more comfortable?” Chris asked.

“You read my mind.”

Chris pulled away from the kiss and crooked his finger at her.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“I was thinking the couch. It’s a new couch. It needs christening with a good make-out session.”

“Or,” she said.

“Or?”

Joey would blame Kira for this tomorrow. Tonight she had no one to blame but herself.

“The bed’s new. Why don’t we go christen it?”

Chris looked at her a moment. “You sure?”

“We can fool around.” She almost said “bang” and that was definitely Kira’s fault. “Or we can rent Batman Begins. But for either of those things, I’m sure it’s more comfortable than the couch. We’ll see where it goes, all right?”

“All right. Lead the way, then.”

She was shaking with nervousness and excitement as she headed up the stairs. They really were very nice stairs.

“You do such good work,” she said.

“I hope you’re still saying that an hour from now.”

“I was talking about the woodwork.”

“That’s one name for it.”

“Chris.”

He pushed her gently back against the wall and kissed her deeply again, not too hard but hard enough she wanted more. A strategic kisser, Chris was—he knew how to make her want more.

And more.

And more...

“You gave me my first kiss,” she said.

“You remember?”

She nodded breathlessly. “I’d almost forgotten. It was here at the cabin.”

“Out back,” he corrected. “We had a campfire.”

“Mom and Dad went out to dinner and left the three of us here.”

“We got in the liquor cabinet and had a couple shots,” he said. “That was a bad idea.”

“What? Making s’mores while drunk was the most fun I’d ever had.”

“You got chocolate all over your lips,” he said. “You told me to help you get it off.”

“Where was Dillon?”

“He’d wandered off to piss in the woods.”

“Oh, that’s right. He got lost and it took him an hour to get back.”

The memory was hazy. She’d been fourteen, Chris sixteen, Dillon seventeen, if she remembered correctly. Chris had his hair pulled back in a blond ponytail, and he wore board shorts instead of his usual ratty jeans. That night he’d looked almost handsome and she’d been a raging ball of vibrating estrogen capable of orgasming from a hard sneeze and able to fall in and out of love with total strangers all in the span of one day or less. The Jack Daniel’s they’d all dipped into had made her head fuzzy and Chris ten times more talkative than usual. He’d told her dirty stories like the one about the three guys who had to share one bed up at Timber Ridge Lodge, and the guy on the right of the bed wakes up the next day and says, “I had a dream somebody gave me a hand job,” and the guy on the left of the bed says, “Crazy, I also had a dream somebody gave me a hand job,” and the guy in the middle of the bed said, “Weird. I had a dream I was skiing.”

That was what it was. He’d told her the skiing/hand job joke and she’d snort-laughed chocolate from her s’more all over her mouth. And she’d told him he had to help her get it off since it was all his fault that she’d laughed while eating and made a massive mess of herself. She’d expected a napkin, a towel, a leaf, something to clean herself off.

Instead, he’d kissed her. Not a kiss, a lick. He licked her lips, and quickly it turned into a real kiss, her first kiss. Before anything else could happen, they heard Dillon tramping back to camp. She’d hated her brother right then and right there. Why couldn’t it have been number two instead of number one, Dillon? Until that moment in her young life, she had no idea having a male tongue on and in her mouth could be the single greatest sensation of all the sensations she’d ever sensated. He’d tasted better than a s’more, and if that wasn’t the highest compliment a fourteen-year-old girl could give a guy, she didn’t know what was.

“I still think about you when I eat s’mores,” he said. “Is that weird?”

“I still think about you every time a Nirvana song comes on the radio.”

“That’s the sexiest thing any woman has every said to me.”

He kissed her again before she could laugh and then she didn’t want to laugh anymore. All she wanted was to kiss and kiss and kiss some more. He was a wonderful kisser and she was quickly getting used to the soft tickle of his beard on her lips and chin and cheeks. And a small evil part of her was relishing the knowledge, even reveling in it, maybe also wallowing in it, that Ben would blow a brain gasket if he knew what she was doing right now. He’d always had a jealous streak, which she’d found flattering at first and increasingly irritating over the past few months. It had seemed out of place, uncalled for. She’d never given him a reason to be jealous. Now she knew he’d been projecting, covering up for his own guilty conscience. Well, fuck him. He had no say in what she did anymore.

She pulled back from the kiss only to open the bedroom door. Chris flipped the lights on but only long enough to turn on the lamp and then the overhead lights were off again. There was a definite chill in the air so she sat on the edge of the bed patiently while Chris threw a few logs in the woodstove and started a fire. It was a pleasure to watch him work. He had quick and efficient large hands that moved with surety at every task. Door open, logs in, newspapers in, more logs, match lit and then...fire. Warmth infused the room, which might have had something to do with the fire in the stove and might have had something to do with Chris taking his shirt off. Not the T-shirt, not yet. Just the flannel he wore over it, but the sight of his strong bare arms was enough to raise her temperature a degree or two especially since he was taking it off while walking toward the bed.

“You’re not supposed to be this sexy,” she said as he came to stand in front of her.

“Sorry?”

She put her hands on his hips, slid them under his white T-shirt and felt his hard flat stomach.

“I accept your apology.”

“I’ll never do it again.”

“See that you don’t.”

“Do you want to take your shirt off?”

“That’s not fair. I only have a bra on under my shirt. You had a T-shirt on under yours.”

Chris sighed, a put-upon sigh. Then he took his T-shirt off.

“Better?”

She stared at his chest, at his bare shoulders and stomach. This was a man who worked very hard and his body showed it.

“Much, much better.”

Chris reached down and gathered the fabric of her sweater in his hands. She raised her arms and let him pull it off. It joined his flannel and T-shirt on the floor. She really hadn’t planned on seducing Chris or being seduced by him tonight, but apparently her subconscious had known better because she’d chosen her favorite plum-colored lace bra to wear under her sweater. Did she remember to put on the matching panties? Oh, yes, she had. Chris would probably assume she’d planned this when he saw them. She hadn’t, but she didn’t care if he thought that.

He bent and kissed her again. Inch by inch, he eased her onto her back with kisses as he crawled onto the bed, his knees on each side of her hips, his arms bracing himself over her. She might be on her back but she refused to lie there passively while he kissed her lips and neck and chest. With her right hand she cupped the back of his neck. With her left hand she went exploring. He was lean, almost thin despite the presence of some impressive muscles, and when she ran her hand down his back, she could feel the outline of his shoulder blades under his warm skin. She lingered a long time on his back, loving the width of it, the length, the strength. And she couldn’t think clearly enough to do much else at the moment as Chris was nuzzling her neck with his mouth, and his beard tickled the tender skin under her ear.

“You feel amazing,” he whispered. “And you smell amazing.”

“What do I smell like?”

“Like you did in high school. Like cookies.”

She laughed as he nipped at her neck. “It’s in my perfume. It’s vanilla-scented. In high school I just used vanilla extract. I couldn’t afford perfume.”

“You smell good enough to eat. You always did.”

“I’m not going to say it. You’re not going to make me say it.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled with his grin.

“Say it. You know you want to.”

“Eat me, then,” she said.

“If you behave yourself.”

Now it was her turn to raise her eyebrow at him. She didn’t even know she could do that.

“If I behave? How am I supposed to behave?”

Chris kissed his way to her ear and whispered into it one word: “Badly.”

Joey shivered from his hot breath on her cool flesh.

He lowered himself onto her carefully, his hips flush against hers, his bare chest to her chest. So much warm skin, so much body heat, so much male weight on top of her... When she’d been weeping on Kira’s couch, one of her laments had been how much she’d miss having sex. She loved sex, needed it, wanted it when she could get it, wanted it more when she couldn’t. How long would it be before she recovered from this breakup and started dating again, started having sex again? Well...a couple days apparently. She would have laughed except she had Chris’s tongue between her teeth, and she wasn’t keen on letting it go just yet.

Joey ran her hands up Chris’s arms and rubbed his shoulders and biceps, massaging them as they kissed because she quickly discovered that when she did this, Chris made the loveliest soft moaning sound in the back of his throat and he pushed his hips into hers hard enough she could feel the outline of his erection. Those were all wonderful consequences to a wonderful action.

Chris placed his left hand by her hand and held himself up over her long enough to slide her bra straps down her shoulders. He kissed her neck and arms and chest to tease her and it worked. Oh, how it worked. She was ready to beg him to take her bra all the way off when he upped the teasing ante by cupping her right breast in his hand and lightly squeezing it. Even through the silk fabric she could feel his heat and the gentle pressure. She arched into his hand, wanting more. He brought his mouth down and kissed her nipple through her bra. It puckered and hardened, and the sound she made as he licked her through the silk should have embarrassed her, it was so hungry. But she’d given herself permission to be decadent tonight, to indulge in something she usually didn’t do—have a one-night stand with an old friend just to make herself feel better. Chris knew this was all it was, so why not? Why not make herself feel good and him feel good and forget Ben existed, at least for tonight?

“You’re good at teasing me,” she said.

“Am I?” He nuzzled against the valley of her breasts.

“You’re going very slow.”

“I like to go slow. If I go fast, then it’s over with too soon.”

“Or you could go fast—twice.”

“You’re behaving very badly right now.”

“You told me to.”

“I know.” He raised his head and grinned at her, a grin to set her body temperature shooting up another degree or two. “It was a compliment.”

He rewarded her for her bad behavior by pushing the cup of her bra down. The cool air of the room on her naked breast sent her shivering with delicious chills. Chris lightly licked the hard tan tip that was turning a darker shade of brown as he gave it more and more attention and more and more blood rushed to her breasts. She tangled her hand in his hair and held his mouth to her nipple. He covered it with his lips and sucked softly and then deeply and then hard enough to make her gasp aloud.

Chris kissed her mouth after she moaned and took her breast in his hand. He pinched her nipple and tugged lightly on it, rolling it between his fingers as he kissed her until she could scarcely breathe and forgot she needed to.

“Remind me to do something after you’re done fucking me,” she whispered.

“What is that?”

“I need to call Kira and tell her she’s a genius.”

4

HE LOWERED HIS head again and gave her left breast the same sort of attention, lavishing kisses on it, sucking the nipple, rolling his tongue around it as she lifted her hips again and again against him, unable to stop herself. Her arousal was potent, sharp in its intensity. She felt everything he did to her all over her body. It was nervousness, of course, and the adrenaline rush that came with a brand-new partner after being with only one man in two years. Also, it felt like she was breaking a rule, cheating, cheating on Ben even though she wasn’t. They hadn’t said they’d broken up, but there was no reason to say a single word to him the second she discovered he was married. Their relationship was null and void in her mind because he’d lied to her, lied to his wife. But if she knew Ben as well as she thought she did, he would apologize, try to get her back. He still considered her his girlfriend, and if he knew she was with another man, he would lose his mind. She almost wanted to call him right now and tell him what she was doing.

And laugh.

“More,” she whispered as Chris lightly bit her nipple.

“More what?”

“More of you,” she said, sliding her palms down his body from his neck to the small of his back where she lingered awhile. His skin was so soft here, so touchable, so smooth. “More of this.” She lifted her pelvis meaningfully into his.

“Are you begging for sex?”

“Not yet. Should I?”

“Worth a try. Maybe it would work.”

“No guy has ever made me beg for it before.”

“Maybe I know it’s worth begging for.”

“You’re a little cocky, Chris. How did I not know that about you?”

“A little cocky?”

She smiled.

He rose up off her body, knelt over her hips and unzipped his jeans. He lowered them and his black boxer briefs to his thighs. With one hand he stroked himself over her.

“Okay,” she said breathlessly. “You’re a lot cocky.” When he started to raise his jeans up again—more teasing—she reached out and grabbed his wrists.

“Don’t,” she said. He said nothing, only looked at her. “Please don’t? Pretty please?”

“You’re not bad at begging.”

“How much begging would I have to do to get you naked?”

“Am I naked yet?”

“Not completely.”

“Then obviously you need to beg more.” Chris took her naked breasts in both of his hands and held them, squeezing them lightly and massaging them. “Don’t you?”

She couldn’t quite believe it. This was Chris Steffensen? The Chris Steffensen who only worked up the courage to kiss her after they’d gotten into the parental whiskey stash that night? The Chris who’d barely spoken in school except to his closest friends and even then never said more than necessary? He’d walked down the halls, face half-hidden by long blond hair, didn’t talk in class, didn’t put himself in anyone’s way and only really expressed himself with his fists when someone went after Dillon. How had that shy, quiet, intense teenage boy turned into this strong, confident, beautiful man? Ten years had been very kind to Chris. She could get used to being with a man like him.

“Please take your clothes off,” she said. “All of them. I want to see your body, because if the rest of it is as good as what I’ve already seen, I’m going to be the luckiest woman on earth tonight. And I’ve never been the luckiest woman on earth, and after the past couple of days, I think I’ve earned it. And even if I haven’t, I want it, anyway. Also...your cock is sexy as hell and I want to feel it on me and in me. If I need to earn it some way, just say the word.”

“The word.”

“You aren’t cocky. You’re arrogant.”

“Why is my cock not in your mouth? I could have sworn it was cocksucking time.”

“What time is it?” she asked.

He looked up at the clock on the wall over the woodstove.

“Ten fourteen.”

“It’s after cocksucking time,” she said. “Allow me to apologize for my tardiness.”

“Actions speak louder than words.”

Joey didn’t say another word. It was the sexiest thing she’d ever seen a man do in her life—pull down his pants to show her his cock after she’d made a “little cocky” remark. Sexy and smug and smoldering. He hadn’t said a word. He didn’t need to. He was big enough to impress her, and he’d known it. Quiet Chris. Shy Chris. Sweet, sensitive Chris. Had he always had this side to him even in high school? If she’d seen past the chain wallet, the long hair, the brooding silences, the drugs, maybe he would have been her first time instead of just her first kiss.

“You want to lie down?” she asked.

He shook his head no.

“No?”

“Didn’t your friend tell you the best way to get over one guy was to get under another?”

“I don’t know if she meant it that literally.”

“I’m taking it that literally. Stay on your back. I’ll come to you.”

“And on me?”

“Not yet. But maybe later.”

“If I’m good?”

“Now you’re learning.”

She stretched out on her back again. Chris stood up off the bed but only long enough to finishing undressing. Jeans off. Boxer briefs off. Wearing nothing but the slightest smile, he crawled back over her, took her wrists in his hands and pushed them over her head onto the bed. She lay there, panting, aroused, scared in all the best ways to be scared, the ways people courted danger by skydiving and having sex with near-strangers. But this felt safe, too, safe as a roller coaster. Controlled fear. Chris wasn’t a stranger even if he seemed like it when he acted like this. She’d known him since she was twelve and although years had passed since she and he had been friends, it didn’t matter. He was one of the good guys. Dillon made it out of high school alive and well thanks to Chris. Now she’d thank him personally.

“You can tell me no to anything,” he said as he straddled her chest with his knees. “You shouldn’t. But you can.”

“I don’t want to tell you no. I don’t want to tell you anything.”

“Why not?”

“I want you to put my mouth to better use.”

He laughed a genuine laugh, not sexy, just honest. Just a laugh.

With his hands still on her wrists and holding her lightly down on the bed, he bent down and kissed her on the lips.

Against them, he said, “I used to dream about being your first in high school. I didn’t tell Dillon that part of my crush.”

“You don’t get to be my first time. But maybe you can be the best time?”

“That’s a lot of pressure.”

“I don’t know. So far so good.”

“Your ex wasn’t that good in bed?”

“He was fantastic in bed.”

He got the compliment. She could tell from the way he inhaled, like he felt the words as much as heard them. Chris released her wrist. He cupped the back of her neck to lift her so he could unhook her bra and remove it completely. It ended up with his clothes on the floor. She hoped she wouldn’t be seeing it again for many, many hours. Or ever.

Chris unbuttoned the top button of her jeans and he paused for a split second as if waiting for her to object. She had no objections. None. Instead of raising an objection, she raised her hips, allowing him to slide her jeans down her legs and off her. She was glad she’d taken the time to shave her legs in the shower. Once Kira planted that “jump him” seed in her brain, it had taken root. When he started to peel her underwear off, she knew it was going to happen and she was happy about it. She wanted this. No fear, no nervousness, no guilt. Only pleasure. As it should be.

Chris pressed a kiss onto her stomach. She dug her hands in his hair—such soft hair—and sighed as his lips left a burning trail from hip to hip and then down and down a little more.

“I thought it was your turn first,” she said as he kissed her upper thighs. He pushed her legs open.

“It’s our turn.”

“Our turn?”

In one impressively smooth movement, Chris turned around, straddled her shoulders and dropped his head between her legs. She lifted her head and took his cock into her mouth as he ran his tongue lightly up and down the seam of her vulva. Moaning, she opened her legs even wider for him and took more of him into her mouth. She gripped the back of his thighs and found them hard as steel in her hands. And he was hard as steel between her lips. The only thing soft was the kiss he placed on her clitoris. A gentle kiss followed by a lick and another lick. He spread her wider with his fingertips and licked her deeper inside. It felt so good she moaned, and since Chris’s cock was deep in her mouth he moaned, too. More of a groan than a moan. Whatever it was, Joey was pretty sure she’d never heard a man make a sound that sexy and sensual.

As she sucked him, she ran her hands up and down the backs of his legs, grabbing his ass a few times to playfully distract him and to drag him down closer to her. He got the hint and started pushing his hips in and out, fucking her mouth. He didn’t go too hard or too fast, didn’t choke her with his cock, which she appreciated. He was careful even as he went down on her, taking his time, teasing her with kisses and making her work for more by spreading wider for him and pulling her knees up to her chest.

“Beautiful,” Chris said as he caressed her wet open body with his fingertips. She could feel it as he massaged her inner labia, opening them up, and circling her vagina over and over again.

“In, please,” she said.

“What did you say?”

“You know what I said.”

“Say it again.”

“I said, ‘In, please.’ Go inside me. Please.”

“Well...since you said please.”

He pushed one finger into her and her hips came off the bed in embarrassing eagerness for more. He pushed in a second finger and licked her clitoris again.

“I can’t...” she panted.

“What?”

“I can’t suck your cock when you’re doing that. It feels too good. We can either six or nine but we can’t sixty-nine.”

“Weak,” he said. “Your game is weak.”

“I’m sorry!” She dissolved into laughter as Chris climbed off her and stretched out along the side of her body. He fondled her breasts, shaking his head the whole time.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “You made me feel too good, and I couldn’t concentrate on what I was doing anymore. And your cock deserves my full concentration.”

“That it does.”

“Then again, so does my pussy.”

“Truer words.”

“So what do we do?”

“Flip for it?”

“Flip a coin?” Joey asked.

“I got a quarter.”

“Okay, so who’s heads and who’s tails?”

“Heads I go down on you. Tails you go down on me.”

“Or.”

“Or what?”

“Or you could fuck me, and we could both enjoy it at the same time?” Seemed like a reasonable suggestion to her.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked.

“Tell me anything.”

“I only have one condom on me. And I’m in no hurry to get this over with.”

“That’s not a bad secret.”

“You don’t have any on you, do you?”

She shook her head. “Sorry. I didn’t plan this ‘jump on the first guy who offers’ thing very well.”

“Nothing for it, then. We’ll just have to keep foreplaying for at least another hour.”

“Oh. Darn.”

“Real shame, isn’t it?” Chris said.

“A damn shame.”

“Keep telling me how much of a shame it is while I eat your pussy.”

“What happened to the coin flip?”

“I won it.”

“I don’t remember—”

Before she could finish telling him she had no memory at all of this supposed coin flip of his, it was too late. He had already slid between her legs again and opened her up for him. Once more he pushed two fingers inside of her, easing them in and out and around the warm, wet interior of her body as he licked her and sucked her and kissed her and finger-fucked her. She was awash in pleasure, in that sort of soft liquid pleasure that suffuses the stomach and back and hips all at once and makes the thighs tense and quiver and fingers clutch at the sheets. That sort of pleasure.

She was going to come and soon and hard and on his mouth. Joey’s head fell back and her shoulders came off the bed again. Sweat beaded on her forehead, and she dug her heels into the mattress as Chris brought her to the pinnacle of pleasure and left her there as he slowed down, eased up the pressure to draw it out a little longer...a little longer...

“Please, Chris,” she said between labored breaths.

“Not yet.”

He stopped licking her and just used his fingers inside her. She’d been close to coming and now the urge faded, but only slightly. He hadn’t been kidding about wanting to drag the sex out as long as possible. He brought her almost to coming again and she could have screamed and would have if it didn’t feel so good getting there and back again.

“I’m dying,” she whispered. Her lips were dry and her lungs burned.

“I’ll let you come this time. Maybe.”

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“You think I’m in any hurry to be done here? Do you have any idea how good you taste and how sexy you are like this?”

“Like this” was sweaty, flushed, writhing on the bed with her legs open as wide as possible and his head between her thighs and his fingers deep inside her. Maybe he was right. She did feel sexy like this. The only person in the room sexier was Chris, who seemed to have fallen madly in love with her vulva and couldn’t seem to stop kissing it. His beard tickled her inner thighs and she wondered if Kira was right about the beard burn. Was that really a thing? Well, she’d probably find out before morning. Even if it was a thing and even if it hurt like hell tomorrow...oh, it was worth it. So worth it.

“Chris,” she said.

“Joey.”

“Please give me an orgasm. I don’t ask for much. But I do ask for that. I beg for it.”

“Will you say my name when you come?”

“If that’s the price I have to pay.”

“It is.”

“Then yes. I was planning on doing that, anyway.”

“My name. Not your ex’s.”

“I have an ex? Weird. I can’t remember any ex. I thought it was just you and me in the world.”

Chris chuckled. “Your game isn’t as weak as I thought.”

“Chris,” she said. “Chris.”

“What?”

“Just practicing.”

“You’re amazing,” he said. “And so is your body. And so is your pussy. I’m so glad to finally meet it.”

He wrapped his lips around her clitoris and sucked it and licked it as once more he brought her to the edge of climaxing. She lifted her head off the bed and watched him as he kissed her. His eyes were closed and he looked intent on his work and yet...sublime. This was not a man who went down on her begrudgingly or only to get a blow job out of her. This was a man who loved doing what he was doing and it showed.

“You’re gorgeous,” she said.

He opened his eyes—blue eyes—and raised his chin.

“Lie down and come,” he said. “You can tell me how pretty I am later.”

She lay down. These were orders she could get used to following.

With both hands, Chris spread her wet folds open and with the flat of his tongue lapped at her clitoris in long slow licks that turned into short fast licks until she was frozen on the bed, paralyzed but with the sharpest, most intense sensation of pleasure she could remember feeling in all her life. And it went on and on, waves of it hitting her like ocean waves. Not gently, but hard, knocking her under, slamming the breath out of her. Her hips bucked and her vagina contracted on Chris’s fingers. She didn’t scream his name. She didn’t have the breath or energy to scream. But she sighed it, moaned it, and when her orgasm subsided and Chris climbed up to lie at her side, she said it again.

“Chris.” She met his eyes.

“Joey.”

“That felt amazing. My vagina is smiling.”

“Seriously?”

He pushed her legs open, looked down at her and back at her face.

“Oh, shit, it is. I’ve never seen that before.”

Joey put her hands on her face and laughed behind them.

“No. No hiding your face. I need that face.” Chris took her wrists and removed her hands from her face.

“You need my face?”

“Yes.”

“For what?”

“I’m going to fuck it.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, in that case, go right ahead.”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

Chris leaned over and with his hand on himself guided his cock back into her mouth. She took it in eagerly, wanting to return even a fraction of the pleasure he’d given her. He needed to come and she wanted him to come. In her mouth, on her breasts, she didn’t care. But making him come as hard as he’d made her was Joey’s highest priority tonight.

There wasn’t much in the world she found sexier than the way a man moved his hips while fucking. It was one reason she liked a light on during sex. Now she had a front row seat to the action. Chris moved with a slow steady rhythm as he fucked her mouth, his stomach taut with tension. He didn’t piston his hips, no jackhammering her mouth. Carefully he pushed. Carefully he pulled out. All the while he breathed heavily, half groaning with each thrust in, inhaling sharply each time he withdrew from her mouth. His hands gripped the sheets above her head and Joey ran her hands up his arms. They were tense, so tense. His entire body felt tense against her hands. He was hard everywhere, and she loved his hardness, especially the hardness in her mouth. With her fingernails she dug into the backs of his thighs and scratched downward, not breaking the skin but making sure he felt it, really felt it. The moan he made was obscene. She wished she could have recorded it. It would have been her new ringtone, and maybe then she’d actually like it when someone called her.

Joey would have told him to come but she couldn’t talk at the moment. She lifted her head instead and took him even deeper into her mouth. Maybe that would give him the hint she wasn’t going to stop until he came. He seemed to get the hint because he started to move a little harder and faster in her mouth. He was still careful not to choke her but she could tell it was getting more difficult for him to go slowly. Good. Let him let go. Let him fuck her hard. She didn’t care. She wanted it. It was delicious, decadent, dirty and distracting. And sexy. So damn sexy.

Chris panted hard, loudly. She loved the sound of his pleasure and the taste of his cock and the scent of his arousal. This was exactly what she needed—sex that was nothing but sex. No love, no relationship, no pressure, no pain. All bodies, no hearts. Just pure unadulterated fucking.

With a low grunt, Chris came in her mouth, filling it as she swallowed as best she could. He gave another grunt, and this one sounded almost like pain. He pulled out of her mouth and collapsed next to her on his back.

“Fuck...” He rubbed his face as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “That felt so good it hurt.”

“Best kind of pain.”

“God, yes.” He looked over at her and grinned. “Stay there.”

“I’m naked. Where would I go?”

He didn’t answer as he walked from the room, still naked himself. Chris should do that more often—walk out of rooms naked. The view was spectacular. Better than the view of the mountain from her window. She should charge money for a view like that.

Chris returned quickly with a glass of water and a glass of wine.

“Pick one,” he said.

“I get to pick?”

“You’re the one with the mouth full of my come.”

“I swallowed it. Most of it.”

“Take the water,” he said. “We’ll share the wine.”

She took the water from him and drank it down gratefully.

Meanwhile Chris sipped at the red wine, a pinot noir she’d found in the fridge. Pinot was her favorite. No way Chris could have known that. She didn’t drink wine in high school. Dillon must have put it there.

“I feel kind of weird fucking in this house,” she said. “It was my parents’ house. They fucked in this house. Not us.”

“Dillon fucked in this house.”

“What?”

She sat up and looked down at him.

“If you’re gay and in high school and scared about being outed, wouldn’t you go as far away as you could for your dates?”

“Well...yeah. But I didn’t know he brought guys out here.”

“Just the one guy. Trevor? I think that was his name.”

“Trevor? I don’t remember a Trevor.”

“He didn’t go to our school. They met at the Ski Bowl.”

“How do you know all this and I don’t?”

“He might be gay but he’s still a dude. A guy doesn’t want to tell his baby sister about his sex life.”

“But he wanted to tell you?”

“I covered for him. When he and Trevor were out here, he was supposedly crashing at my house.”

“I’m stunned. I’m just stunned. And jealous. Why did he get to fuck out here and I didn’t?”

“I would have fucked you out here. But you weren’t into me.”

“My mistake,” she said, rolling onto her side to face him. “I kind of regret that now.”

He laid a hand on her naked hip and caressed it.

“I wish... I wish I hadn’t been such a coward. I could have told you.”

“I wish I hadn’t been such a snob. I don’t know if you telling me would have made a difference. You were my brother’s stoner friend. And I liked you. I did. I liked that you were so protective of Dillon. I liked hanging out with you. I didn’t like you like you. Except for the night you kissed me. Then I liked you.”

“We were drunk. Doesn’t count.”

“No, I guess not. But I’m very sober tonight. And tonight counts.”

“You don’t like me. I’m just the rebound guy.”

“I like you. You’re very sexy when you’re not stoned.”

“I haven’t gotten stoned since my freshman year in college.”

“You said you went to a trade school.”

“Because I flunked out of college.”

“Because of the pot?”

“Because of the pot and the drinking and the not giving enough of a shit to go to class. When I flunked out, Dad kicked me out. Mom un-kicked me out. Sort of. She said I could stay in the storage room over the garage for six months but after that it was either go back to school or move out for real.”

“So you got a job?”

“I had to clean up the room in the garage first. Dad kept all his tools out there.” He stopped and smiled. “This will sound dumb.”

“Sound dumb. I want to hear you sound dumb.”

“I found a knife, a really pretty one, and Dad had some birch wood he’d never gotten around to using for something. And I was bored. I started whittling it. It made me feel better, better than I’d felt in a long time. Clear up here.” He tapped his forehead. “I did that for a couple weeks. Played with Dad’s tools, whittled, carved a little. In shop class in high school, I’d made a chair. I taught myself how to make one again, a rocking chair this time, and gave it to Mom as a thank-you for un-kicking me out. She thought it was so pretty she cried. Dad had been promising her a porch rocker for years like the one her grandmother had. Right after that, Dad had a heart attack and had to cut way back on work. I stepped up because I knew I could do it then. Making one stupid chair changed me. Yeah, that did sound dumb.”

“No, it sounds kind of...spiritual, maybe?” She hoped that didn’t sound as cheesy to him as it sounded to her.

“It’s wild, you know. Trees are alive and they die when you cut them down, but if you treat the wood the right way, carve it, stain it, polish it, make something beautiful out of it, or something useful—”

“Like a rocking chair for your mom?”

“Right. If you make something out of that wood, if you use it well, it’ll last for centuries. It’ll last longer than the tree might have lived. How’s that for an afterlife?”

“Sounds like a good afterlife to me. So making a chair changed you. I like that.”

“You make your mother cry by giving her something you made with your own hands and it gets to you, you know? That’s when I decided to get my act together. I quit drugs, all of them. I’m clean now. Have been for years.”

Joey felt an unexpected knot in her throat. She hadn’t meant to see Chris’s heart like that. She hadn’t meant to go digging. She certainly hadn’t expected to hit gold like she had.

“Anybody ever tell you that you clean up really nice?”

“Dillon did. But he doesn’t count.”

“Why not?”

“Because right now, only you count.”

He kissed her again, gently, but she didn’t want that. No gentle kisses for her. She needed rough and hard. She needed bruising kisses that would remind her tomorrow that she was single and could do stuff like have wild meaningless one-night stands with old high school friends. Of course, if Chris kept making her feel this good, this sexy, she might accidentally find a little meaning in it and that would be terrible, wouldn’t it? She didn’t want to have to get over two guys in one month. That was a lot of rebounding.

Joey touched his face tenderly. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice soft and low. His eyelashes were long and they made him look younger in the low lamplight. They made him look almost innocent.

She didn’t want to hurt him.

Wait. Where had that thought come from? That she didn’t want to hurt him? He was half a foot taller than her, fifty pounds heavier, stronger, a man who rebuilt houses for his work. How could she hurt him? And yet the thought persisted.

“Nothing. I just like the beard.”

“I want to be inside you now.”

“You can be inside me now.”

Chris cupped her between her legs and pushed two and then three fingers inside her. Joey gripped his shoulder as he moved his hand with a deep spiraling motion in and out of her, opening her back up for him. She wanted to be open for him. She spread her legs wider.

“You feel so good inside,” he said. “You’re so wet.”

“You made me this wet. We haven’t even fucked yet and there’s a wet spot underneath me.”

“You’re so sexy when you come. Your whole body was into it. I’ve never seen a girl move like that. I’m hard again just thinking about it. I want you to move like that on my cock.”

“Then put your cock in me and I will.”

“Stay here. I need to get the condom.”

“Where’d you leave your wallet?”

“It’s not in my wallet.” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“Where is it, then?” she asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

“In my toolbox.”

A man who stored his condoms in his toolbox. That was cute. Very cute. She could get used to being with a guy like this.

Except she couldn’t get used to it.

Because she was leaving right after the wedding.

Because she was on the rebound, and if she got used to this, she’d just get hurt again.

This time when he walked naked from the room, she didn’t let herself enjoy the view.

5

HOLY.

Fucking.

Shit.

What the hell was he doing?

This was not the plan. Why wasn’t it the plan? This was a much better plan than the original plan.

Chris leaned back against the door in the master bedroom—the only part of the room without fresh paint on it—and closed his eyes. He breathed, breathed again.

The plan was to be here when Joey arrived so he could talk to Joey.

He wasn’t talking to Joey. He was having sex with Joey.

Joey.

Joey Silvia. Joey Silvia, who he’d been in love with in high school and pined for even after he graduated, even after he’d heard she’d gone to the University of Hawaii instead of somewhere he could actually hope to see her every now and then like the University of Oregon. She could have been a Duck. And there was always OSU. Why hadn’t she gone to Oregon State? She could have been a Beaver. What girl didn’t want to be a Beaver?

He peeled his body off the door and rummaged through his toolbox for the condom he kept in a box in the bottom. Shortly after opening his own contracting business, he’d discovered that lots of his clients were women—single and divorced—who’d never been taught anything about home repair. More than once he’d been propositioned by a beautiful newly divorced lady on the rebound. More than once he’d succumbed to the temptation. Three times precisely, with three different divorced women who were setting up their new homes and needed a handyman to be, well, handy. And he’d been handy. Very, very handy.

But being with Joey felt nothing like that.

Those few late-afternoon assignations had been nothing but sex. Good sex, more or less. But still just sex. Only his body had been there, not him. Not the real him that you only showed to someone after a few weeks together, a few months. With Joey, he’d shown up right then and there, right out of the gate. He’d ordered her around, talked dirty, “made her” lie on her back and suck him off. Usually he never did that sort of thing until he was in a relationship with someone and felt comfortable enough to talk about that side of him. Never had he been this himself with a girl the first time. Never had he felt that safe, that comfortable, to do it when he was with a stranger. Because Joey wasn’t a stranger. Because he’d known her for years, since he and Dillon were freshman in high school together and sixth-grader Joey tagged along when they’d gone to movies or the skate park. He didn’t care. She was less annoying than Dillon, anyway. Then by the time she started high school, it was a whole different game. On the first day of school she showed up in Dillon’s car. She wore tight jeans, a low-cut shirt, a scarf draped around her neck, and instead of her usual ponytail, she wore her long straight dark hair down and over her shoulder. And she smelled like vanilla, like cookies out of the oven, and he wanted to devour her, which—as a teenage boy—just meant making out with her for a few years until she warmed up to the idea of sex and then having sex for a few more years until his cock broke off from all the sex they’d had and they were forced to be just friends. Friends who made out. It sounded like a good plan to him. He even told it to Dillon while they were getting high in the garage one night their senior year.

It was a pipe dream. Literally. He could only talk about how crazy he was about Joey when he was smoking weed. But he didn’t have any drugs to blame or thank for this trip. It was real. He had Joey in the bedroom waiting for him to fuck her. What was he waiting for?

“Dillon is going to kill me.” He sighed to himself as he opened the bedroom door, the condom in his hand. He stood in the doorway to the second bedroom. Joey lay on her stomach, her feet in the air, her head on a pillow. She stared out the window into the deep wet green forest outside the house.

“Isn’t it beautiful here?” she asked. “I’d almost forgotten how beautiful it is out here. Like Narnia. I love the moss. That’s my favorite part. Did you ever notice how the tree branches look like giant green tarantulas when they’re all bunched together and covered in moss?”

Chris couldn’t speak at first. She looked so comfortable on the bed he’d made, so lovely with her black hair lying over her soft brown skin, the lamplight turning it golden.

Yeah, okay, so Dillon might kill him for having a one-night stand with his sister. So what? That woman on that bed was worth dying for. His cock told him so.

“I hadn’t noticed that,” he said as he slid onto the bed next to her and threw his leg over her lower back. “But now that you mention it...”

The moss-covered trees outside the window did look a little like furry spider legs.

“You have beautiful eyes,” he said, rubbing her shoulders.

“They’re just brown.”

“No, I mean, the way you see things.”

She rolled over onto her back. “I see you.”

“What do you see?”

“Someone with a lot going on in here...” She tapped his forehead. “Even when there’s not much coming out of here.” She caressed his lips.

“Are you accusing me of being a thinker? That’s a new one.”

“I’m accusing you of having more to you than meets the eye. You say I have good eyes. How did I not see you had this person inside you?”

“We were in high school. What did we know?”

“You liked me. I should have liked you.”

“I didn’t give you a lot to like. And I would have been an idiot to not want you. And I might have been a stoner and a slacker—to quote Dad—but I wasn’t an idiot.”

“No, definitely not that. Not then, not now.”

“I’m in bed with you. I’m definitely the smartest man alive.”

“I am also clearly a genius.” She leaned into him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Her skin was so soft and smooth and warm to the touch. He could stay in this bed forever as long as she stayed with him.

He kissed her because he had to, because he wanted to so much that if he didn’t he’d never forgive himself. He had enough on his conscience. He didn’t need more.

Chris pushed her onto her back and kissed her neck, her chest... Joey arched her back and he knew she wanted her nipples sucked again and he was more than happy to do it. Ecstatic even. Really, she was the one doing him the favor here. But first...he had to tease. It was his favorite thing to do in bed—taunt, tease, torment, even torture a little tiny bit. He knelt over her on his hands and knees and kissed her right breast under her nipple. Just under it. As lightly as he could he kissed that soft, soft patch of skin, licked it. Then he kissed and licked around her nipple carefully, tenderly, lightly.

“You’re driving me crazy,” she said.

“I know.”

“I know you know. I just wanted you to know I know you know.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“I have to say it?”

“Yes...” He breathed the word onto her breast and her nipple hardened.

“I want you to suck my nipples.”

“Is that so?”

“It is so and you said—”

He covered her nipple with his mouth and licked it. Abruptly Joey went silent. He massaged her breast with his open mouth for a few delicious moments before latching on to her nipple and sucking. She moaned as he swirled his tongue around the tip and took it into his mouth gently but deeply. Not to be outdone in the torture department, Joey reached between his legs and stroked his erection with her soft little hands. He could tell she was using just her fingertips, barely touching him, almost tickling. It drove him wild. He was hard already but getting harder with every passing second. He caught her wrists and pushed them over her head again, pinning her to the bed.

“Not fair,” she pouted. God, he loved it when women pouted like that—Yes, please, act like I’m the meanest man in the world for not letting you stroke me off. I will reward that pout in ways you can’t even imagine...

“Life isn’t fair, little girl. You lie there under me and behave yourself like I told you to and when you’re allowed to rub my cock I’ll tell you.”

“Am I allowed to rub your cock right now?”

“No. You’re allowed to lie there while I fuck you. I’m going to fuck you right now. Unless you want to pout some more.”

“Nope. I’m good. I’m all done pouting.”

Jesus, did he just call her “little girl”? He did have it bad for her already. Already or still or something like that. Didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to think about how much he’d kick himself for doing this tomorrow when he realized he’d had the sexiest sex of his life with a woman he wouldn’t see again for years. If ever.

He sat up and rolled on the condom. Joey watched. Did she know how hot that was? Being watched while he touched himself?

“I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid,” he said.

“That was out of left field. Like way left field.” Joey smiled, which was a good reaction to his non sequitur.

“There’s a point to that comment.”

“I can’t wait to hear it.”

Chris kneed her thighs apart and lowered himself onto her. With one hand he braced himself over her. With the other he guided his cock to the entrance of her vagina.

“Every kid wants to be an astronaut,” he said, talking to keep himself from coming immediately. Fuck, he was doing it. Joey. Inside Joey. “But kids don’t get to be astronauts and they grow up and they’re doctors or lawyers or plumbers or nannies or whatever. I dreamed of being with you when I was a kid. And it’s like...”

“Like what?” Joey dug her heels into the bed and lifted her hips to take him inside her. He let her, didn’t try to stop her, let her work her pelvis so she was bringing herself around him instead of him thrusting into her. That would come later.

“Like I dreamed of being an astronaut as a kid and then I grew up and didn’t give that dream a second thought because what grown man with his own business still goes around dreaming of being an astronaut? And then one random day, years after you give up on that dream, NASA shows up and says, ‘Hey, congrats, you get to be an astronaut now. Let’s go.’ I’d forgotten I had that dream, but you better believe I’d be on the next rocket to space.”

Joey lifted her arms, wrapped them around his neck and brought him down onto her body.

“That’s the sweetest, weirdest compliment a man has ever given me.” She kissed his mouth and he had to make himself stop smiling to kiss her back.

“Yeah, well...all the blood is in my cock right now. I blame the weird on that.”

“What do you blame the sweet on?”

“On you, Joey.”

He thrust into her then, a smooth hard stroke that went deep. Joey sighed with unmistakable pleasure. Of all the sounds that a woman made during sex, his favorite was the sound of relief when he finally penetrated her. Like she’d been waiting for this moment, and finally...thank God, he was inside her. He knew how she felt. He pulled out an inch or two and pushed back in, finding his groove, his best angle to move in her. Even with the condom on he could feel her wetness surrounding him and her heat, her incredible heat. Beneath him she moved in slow undulations, lifting and circling her hips, circling and spiraling, spiraling and pushing. Chris listened to her breaths—ragged and shallow. She licked her lips and her head fell back when he pushed in deeper.

“Open wider for me, babe,” he said into her ear.

Joey lifted her knees and splayed them open.

“I like that,” she said.

“Good angle?” He pushed in again, pulled out, pushed in and in...

“I like that you called me babe.”

“I liked that you liked it.”

“We’re a good team.”

“Yes, yes, we are.”

Chris shifted so that he was on his knees and hands and could move his hips more freely. He rolled his pelvis against hers, not pulling out but staying inside her as he moved. Her clitoris needed as much attention as her vagina and at this angle he could graze that sensitive skin with every thrust. Joey gasped as he hit in just the right spot.

“You liked that.”

“I did...” she breathed. “Do it again...”

“Say the magic word.”

“Please?”

“That’s the magic word.”

He shifted again and thrust. Once more she gasped, twitched, shuddered and moaned. In high school she seemed so untouchable, so young and innocent. Didn’t stop him from having obscene sexual fantasies about her, but even back then he hadn’t believed they’d ever come true. But this woman was made of passion. This was a woman who adored sex. There was no faking pleasure like this. He could see it in her eyes, in the way she looked up at him under the veil of her eyelashes. And her wetness was incredible. Her inner muscles clenched around him with each thrust. She was enjoying this. Maybe as much as he was—but he wouldn’t bet money on it.

Chris bent his head to suck her nipples again. They felt perfect in his mouth. Her breasts were his ideal—not too big, not too small, a perfect handful with reddish-brown nipples he couldn’t get enough of.

“You’re a breast man, aren’t you?” she asked, her voice hardly a whisper.

“I am,” he readily confessed. “Ass is nice, but tits are the tits.”

“Don’t make me laugh while you’re fucking me. I once laughed a guy right out of my vagina.”

“I dare you to try. I’m not going anywhere. I’m in and I plan on staying...” He thrust in deep. “Right.” He thrust in deeper. “Here.” He thrust in as deep as he could go before pulling out again to the tip.

“So good.” Joey wrapped her legs around him, tucking them against his sides and resting her heels on his back. “Kira says it takes six months at least to rebound from a bad breakup.”

“You want me to fuck you for the next six months?”

“Solid,” she said. “Non stop.”

“I don’t know if one condom’s going to last six straight months. Better go to Costco.”

“That’s what oral is for.”

“If you think I wouldn’t spend half a year eating you out, you don’t know me.”

“I don’t know you. Not anymore. But I’m enjoying getting to know you.”

“A pleasure to make your reacquaintance, Joey Silvia.”

“The pleasure is all mine...”

Joey raised her head and kissed his naked shoulder. It was a small thing but felt so good he swore an electric current passed from her lips to his shoulder all the way down to his toes and back up to his cock. She kissed his shoulder again, licked and bit it. She liked his shoulders. She liked his body. He could tell because she couldn’t seem to stop touching him. Her hands wandered down his arms, down his back, up his sides and his neck and over his chest. She kissed him everywhere she could reach. He had to block out the pleasure of her touches and kisses as he fucked her or he would come in the next fifteen seconds when he wanted to last another fifteen minutes at least. Or another fifteen hours. Fuck it, he’d stay in her the next fifteen weeks. Who needed to work when he had a girl like this willing to spread for him?

One time isn’t going to be enough.

He didn’t say that out loud, did he?

Chris looked down at Joey’s face. Her eyes were closed. She looked utterly lost in the moment. Good. He hadn’t said it out loud. But it was true. One time fucking this woman was a few thousand times too few.

“How you doing?” He whispered the question into her ear between kisses on her neck.

“I need to come,” she said.

“Tell me what I can do to make that happen.”

“Can you use your fingers on my clit? Please?”

He spread his knees and dragged her down the bed closer to him. He licked his fingertips and pushed them against her swollen clitoris.

“God...”

“Good things happen when you use the magic word.”

Now he barely moved in her, just shallow thrusts moving only a couple inches in and out while he massaged her with her fingers. Joey reached up and grasped his shoulders, squeezing them as she neared climax. Her hips bounced on the bed as she coaxed herself toward her orgasm, and he did everything he could to get her there. He rubbed and stroked and worked his cock in her. Her fingers dug so hard into his arms that she nearly broke the skin. Fine. Good. Let her do it. He loved making her feel this good. If he had to bleed a little for it, all the better. He’d have souvenirs to look at in the mirror tomorrow as he remembered every single thing they did to each other this night.

“Come for me, Joey. I want to watch you come. I want to feel it on my cock. I want to feel your pussy squeeze me out. It won’t work, but I want to feel it try.”

He thrust faster and rubbed harder. She was so wet now he could feel it on his upper thighs, feel it on the bed under them, dripping where they joined. God, it was dirty and beautiful and sexy as hell. This woman—he could fuck her till he died, which might not be long from now because if she didn’t come soon, it would kill him. The need to ride her and slam into her nearly overwhelmed him. Just the thought of it made him thrust a little harder.

“Yes,” Joey gasped. “Again.”

He thrust in harder. Harder.

“Don’t stop.”

He grabbed her by the waist and gave it to her, gave her all he had. He pounded into her, cock ramming deep and rough, and she loved it, she fucking loved it. He didn’t need her words to tell him, although they did. She said his name, over and over again, called out for more, for it harder, for it faster, and he did it all not because she told him to, but because he needed it as badly as she did. Joey went silent, completely silent, and her back arched so hard her shoulders came completely off the bed. She was coming. He could feel her pussy clenching wildly around him. He rammed her again, slamming into her, holding on to her breasts with both of his hands, squeezing them as he fucked her. And then he came, too, came hard, came harder than he remembered coming in years. Chris felt it behind his eyes, a white light that obliterated the world except for his body, Joey’s body and semen that shot out of him in waves of pure sensation.

Slowly he came back to awareness. Wincing, he gently pulled out of Joey, hoping not to lose the condom in the withdrawal. He’d fucked her so hard he had a quick moment of panic that he might have broken it. He couldn’t feel it. Then again, he couldn’t feel his feet, either, and they were still there. He hoped.

The condom was still there, too, thank fuck. He dropped a kiss on the center of Joey’s panting chest.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised. He left her on the bed and walked into the bathroom. He disposed of the condom, splashed water on his face, peed like usual. Nice that the plumbing still worked after all the rough treatment he’d just put it through.

“Good job,” he said to his cock. They were a good team, too.

Chris knew he should probably head out, leave Joey to get comfortable in her new temporary home, but he couldn’t help but hope she’d want him to stay the night. Maybe he could tempt her with the promise of breakfast at the Lost Lake Café tomorrow morning. Maybe he could tempt her with the promise of more sex before breakfast. Or after. But preferably before. They didn’t have any other condoms but who needed them when they had fingers and tongues and lips?

But first he had to tell her about Lost Lake Village Rentals, which was the one thing he was supposed to do with Joey tonight. Dillon had said Joey would be more open to the idea if it came from Chris instead of her own brother. Maybe if Chris could talk Joey into giving their idea a try, Dillon wouldn’t kill him for sleeping with her before anything was decided.

And if Joey said yes...that would mean she’d be around here, living here, in Lost Lake or at least near Lost Lake. Chris could see her all the time. It wouldn’t mean years until their paths crossed again. He fully intended for their paths to cross again and hard. Joey had such beautiful paths...

He slipped back into the bedroom.

“Hey, Jo. I meant to tell you—”

Chris stopped speaking when he noticed Joey was no longer in the bedroom. She must have gone downstairs while he’d been in the bathroom. Should he wait? Had she run down to use the half bath off the kitchen? Or was she hungry and digging for food, which meant he should definitely join her?

Although they’d just spent the last hour naked together, Chris didn’t feel comfortable yet walking around the house without any clothes on. And it looked like she’d dressed, too. Her clothes weren’t on the floor anymore where he remembered tossing them. He grabbed his jeans and pulled them on, found his flannel and buttoned it up.

“Jo?” He headed down the steps in bare feet. “Where’d you go?”

“Just down on the couch,” she said. Her voice sounded light, but tense, like she was trying to sound happy.

“You okay?”

“Fine. Just tired. Lots of traveling. Jet lag and all that.”

Chris walked to the couch and found her wrapped up in a wool blanket, her knees pulled to her chest, a cup of tea clutched tight in her hands.

“Want me to light the fire for you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go to bed soon.”

Chris didn’t know what to do, what to say. He sat on the end of the couch, not too far but not too close.

“Do you...feel weird about—?” It was as far as Chris made it in his question before Joey’s head dropped to her knees and he heard the unmistakable sound of tears.

“Fuck, Joey, what’s wrong?” He moved in closer, terrified to touch her when she was so clearly upset and yet desperate to be near her.

“I’m sorry.” She choked out the words between soft sobbing breaths. “It’s not you, I swear.”

“What is it?”

She raised her head and rubbed tears off her cheeks on the corner of the blanket.

“It’s really over.”

“What is?”

“Me and Ben.”

“Yeah, I assumed it was.”

“No, you don’t get it. I’ve never cheated on any guy in my life. I wouldn’t. And you and I had sex. And since we did, that means I know it’s over, because I wouldn’t have sex with someone else if it wasn’t. I guess... I guess it just hit me that it’s over over.”

“You want it to be over, right? I mean, he’s married.”

“Yes, I definitely don’t want to date a married man. I don’t. But for two years I didn’t know he was married. For two years he was just my boyfriend. Mine. All mine. I thought.”

“You lost a lot here. You lost your boyfriend and you lost your whole vision of who you thought he was.”

“I’m just so stupid. How could I not know? Of course he was married. He never wanted me to come to LA? Never? Not once? Like what did I think that was about? He thought I’d break up with him because the traffic’s so bad? Seriously—what was I thinking?”

“I dated a girl for two years without meeting her parents. It just never worked out time-wise with our schedules. It wasn’t like she secretly kept her parents chained up in the basement. You just took him at his word. You wanted to believe you were dating an honest man. You wanted to believe the best in someone. That’s not stupid.”

“It feels stupid. It feels like I’m stupid.”

“You aren’t. You’re a good person who got lied to. We all get lied to. My ex cheated on me two months with her new boyfriend before I figured it out.”

“Two months is not two years.”

“But she lied to me, and I believed it. You just dated a really good liar.”

“His poor wife—she must hate me.”

“If she’s a good person, she hates him, not you.”

“Unless he lied to her.”

“That’s not your problem. Their marriage is not your problem.”

“No,” she said softly. “I’ve got my own problems.”

“Work?”

She nodded.

“He’s the VP of Operations at the airline. He’s not my boss but he is a boss. I can’t...but I have to go back. I can’t let him win. He should quit, not me. I shouldn’t be the one who has to give up her job because he lied.”

“Yeah, he should quit. It would be the only honorable thing he could do.” Not for one second did Chris think this asshole Ben would quit his job just so Joey could keep working there with some comfort and dignity. A man like that didn’t know the meaning of the word honor.

“I’m so tempted to call HR on him. You know there’s a rule against bosses dating underlings. We ignored it because he wasn’t my boss, but if I told them, it would get him fired.”

“Do that. Definitely.”

“It would probably also get me fired.”

“Okay, maybe don’t do that. But you should think about, I don’t know...”

“What?”

She looked at him with hope in her eyes. Hope and sorrow and enough of both to break his heart and shut him up. Now was not the time to offer her a new job. Now might be the worst time in the history of all time to offer her a new job.

“You should think about yourself,” he said. “Just take care of yourself while you’re home.”

“I will. Thanks, Chris. You’re the best.”

“Thank you. I know.”

That got a little smile out of her.

“I’m going to go to bed,” she said, sipping her tea before setting the half-drunk mug down on the coffee table.

“Good idea. I’ll just, um, get my boots. Left them upstairs.”

He stood up and she smiled at him. He wanted to touch her, caress her face, her hair, something. But she seemed so distant there on the couch wrapped up in her blanket, her body hidden from him, her face wet with tears.

In the bedroom he pulled on his socks and work boots, found his white T-shirt and underwear. He tossed the condom wrapper and straightened the sheets a little so Joey wouldn’t have to when she came up to bed. With a pang of regret he looked at the bed where not twenty minutes ago he was buried deep inside Joey and they were having the best sex of their lives. At least, it was some of the best sex of his. What he wouldn’t give for a time machine. He’d go back twenty minutes—no, two years—and somehow stop Joey from dating this asshole who’d broken her heart so badly. But that was a childish dream for a grown man. Then again, one dream of his youth had come true tonight. No one could fault him for hoping for another dream come true.

He went back downstairs and Joey was still on the couch. Waiting for him to leave? Probably.

“Hey, I left my number on the nightstand,” he said. “Call me or text me or something. I won’t take it personally if this was, like, just a one-night thing. But I do want to hear from you. Tell me you’re okay or something. Okay?”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Thank you? That’s what he got after such a sexy, beautiful night? Thank you?

“You can tell your friend now that you did what she suggested. Then maybe she’ll get off your back.”

“She will. I’ll tell her I did exactly what she told me to. Too bad it didn’t work.”

“Yeah,” Chris said, forcing himself to smile. “Too bad.”

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