# Her Secret Miracle

Dianne Drake

Bound by their miracle babyDr Michi Sato will never forget her passionate night with surgeon Eric Hart—especially as it resulted in her longed-for son. Now his heart condition means Michi must fly to New York for treatment…and tell guarded bachelor Eric he’s a father!

Can their miracle baby...

...bind them—forever?

Dr. Michi Sato will never forget the night of incredible passion she shared with lone-wolf billionaire and surgeon Eric Hart. Especially as it resulted in the baby she never thought she’d have. Her son’s heart condition has meant Michi’s always put him first, but now she must fly him to New York for treatment...and tell guarded bachelor Eric that he’s a father!

Starting with non-fiction, DIANNE DRAKE penned hundreds of articles and seven books under the name JJ Despain. In 2001 she began her romance-writing career with The Doctor Dilemma. In 2005 Dianne’s first Medical Romance, Nurse in Recovery, was published, and with more than twenty novels to her credit she has enjoyed writing ever since.

Also by Dianne Drake

Tortured by Her Touch

Doctor, Mummy…Wife?

The Nurse and the Single Dad

Saved by Doctor Dreamy

Bachelor Doc, Unexpected Dad

Second Chance with Her Army Doc

Sinclair Hospital Surgeons miniseries

Reunited with Her Army Doc

Healing Her Boss’s Heart

Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk.

Her Secret Miracle

Dianne Drake


www.millsandboon.co.uk

ISBN: 978-1-474-09001-8

HER SECRET MIRACLE

© 2019 Dianne Despain

Published in Great Britain 2019

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

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Version: 2020-03-02

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To all my open-heart patients.

You were my inspiration to be the best nurse I could be.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

About the Author

Booklist

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

EPILOGUE

Extract

About the Publisher

## PROLOGUE

AS NIGHTS WENT, this was a beautiful one: still warm enough to enjoy being outside, with only a faint wind and the nip of a chill settling in. In the distance, Sapporo’s snowcapped mountains stood tall and inviting, giving Eric that feeling that he could stay here, someplace different, someplace else. Someplace where there was time for this...for daydreaming, thinking about a future, having fun in his life. But it was up to him to let it in. Unfortunately, he’d never quite discovered how. But someday...

“Are you enjoying the seminar, Dr. Hart?” asked Dr. Michiko Sato, stepping up to the balcony rail next to him. Her seductiveness nearly blended into the night. Dark skin, black dress. All woman. He’d spent two days listening to her lectures, the dulcet tones that made the field of physiatry sound almost as sexy as she was. There were other lecturers, of course. But he only had ears for Michi. And eyes. Especially eyes. And he, as well as other experts in attendance, couldn’t get enough of her smile, the way she turned her gaze downward as if she was shy...and her body to die for. But, most of all, her dedication and intelligence.

Dear lord, perfection in his view for only a few short days. Michiko Sato was a woman who interested him in so many ways, and for a man who couldn’t let himself be interested it was damned frustrating. Especially since he’d caught her staring at him a time or two, and it had not been a professional stare. Well, damn it. He’d done this to himself, hadn’t he? Drawn his boundaries and stayed behind them. Lived a life without the interruption of real pleasure. And now here was real pleasure standing next to him and it was all he could do to keep his hands from shaking.

“It’s a very good seminar. And call me Eric, please.” He twisted to see the full length of her, and the sight of Dr. Sato in something more than her professional garb—white lab coat—caught him off guard, even though he’d been watching her for nearly an hour now. Tonight, she was stunning in her black sleeveless dress with its low-cut neckline and a side slit nearly up to her hip. The dress was not too tight to be indecent, but tight enough to show her curves. And what fine curves they were. Curves that would fit him so well if ever he got the chance.

“Eric. And I’m Michi.” She moved closer to him, brushed against his arm, and stayed there rather than stepping away. “You’ve been sitting in the front row, I’ve noticed. Every lecture, every day. Should I be flattered?”

“I have.” He chuckled. “All the better to see you.” That was a bold statement, but a coziness was settling in around them, and it seemed to be calling for a bold move. Especially since after tomorrow he’d be gone, and she’d be on to her next lecture group or back to her medical practice.

“Did you like what you saw, Eric? And what you see right now?” She stepped away ever so slightly, to give him a better look.

“If I didn’t, I’d have been sitting in the back row. The front row was never my style.” She stepped into him a little more, and seemed so innocent doing it. But this wasn’t innocent. They both knew where it was heading. He’d known it the instant he’d walked into her lecture hall and made eye contact with the most beautiful woman he’d ever encountered. There was destiny here. Maybe not one that would go beyond tonight, but it was inevitable. She knew it as well as he did.

“I’m glad you weren’t. I think I was enjoying my view as much as you were enjoying yours.”

Sliding his arm around Michi’s waist, he pulled her as tightly to him as she could possibly get. “You don’t mind, do you?” he asked.

“Not at all.” She nudged her foot against his. “Not at all.”

Then he pointed to the evening shadows of the mountains. “There’s a little cabin up there. A very isolated cabin. My father owns it, and when I was a kid, he’d have a personal ski instructor bring me here to teach me how to ski. It was the only time I ever got to do something fun, just for the sake of doing it.”

“So, you’re a good skier.”

“Depends on your definition of good, I suppose. In my day I was.”

Michi laughed. “In your day? From what I’ve been seeing, you’re still in your day, and it’s looking quite good.” She sat her glass of champagne down on the wall surrounding the third-story veranda and turned to Eric. “So, tell me, Eric, what else were you good at, in your day?” She wrinkled her nose and her eyes sparkled with flirtation. “Or night?”

He was good at being a surgeon, day and night, but that wasn’t the way he wanted this conversation to go. Not after listening to her and watching her so intently for what seemed like forever. Memorizing her movements, anticipating her words, trying not to be distracted by her beauty yet being distracted by every little thing about her—the raising of an eyebrow, the slightest hint of a smile meant only for him. “I’m good at picking up your signals.”

“And what are these signals telling you?”

“That tonight’s our last chance. Tomorrow we’ll both be back in our normal lives.” Why was his attraction to her so strong? There’d been other women in his life, other opportunities, but tonight, with Michi...

“And just what would that last chance include?” she asked him.

“We have options,” he said. “Dancing, although I’m not very good at it. We could go for a walk. Or, stay here and talk.”

“Talking’s overrated,” she said. “And these shoes are definitely not made for walking or dancing.”

He glanced down, noticed that her shoes were strappy and spiky, and while he was no expert, he couldn’t imagine that what she was wearing was going to make a walk much fun. Yet while he thought they were probably uncomfortable as hell, they also looked sexy as hell, making her incredibly long legs seem even longer. “Then maybe you’d like to go sit someplace where you can take off those shoes. They’ve got to be killing your feet.”

Michi laughed. “So, you’re a practical man.”

“That’s what my colleagues tell me.”

“That’s what my aunt told me when she recommended you to this seminar. That you’re good at your job, not always as sociable as you could be, and that you’re governed by practicality. But the best in your field.”

“Your aunt?”

“Agnes Blaine.”

He knew Agnes. She worked on the medical end of cardiology while he worked on the surgical end of it. Specifically, pediatric cardiac surgery. “Small world,” he said.

“Not really. I’m trying to grow my practice in different ways, incorporate more physiatry into medical and surgical areas where it’s not yet used. I asked her to send someone who might be able to make use of my specialty. And while I wasn’t specific in terms of what kind of specialty I wanted to approach, she thought cardiac surgery and rehab would be good. Hence...you. So, let’s get back to these shoes. Are you offering a foot massage?”

“For starters.”

“Then what?”

He bent over and whispered something in Michi’s ear that caused her to laugh. “That sounds very naughty,” she said.

“Well, if you think that’s naughty...” He whispered something else in her ear, but this time he grazed her earlobe with his tongue, causing Michi to gasp, then stand on tiptoe and whisper something back to him.

“Will that get me a passing mark in your class?” he asked.

“That, Doctor, will send you straight to the head of the class.”

“My favorite place,” he said, picking up her glass of champagne. “And I’m ready to start doing the homework that will get me there, if you don’t mind being my tutor.”

“I would love to tutor you, Doctor.”

He was already regretting that it could last for only a night but come tomorrow the fantasy of the evening would have worn off, Michi would be back in her white medical coat ready to present the last lecture of the series, and his mind would be back on the list of patients he would be seeing once he was back in New York. But for now, Sapporo, Japan, or New York City were simply places on a map while here, before him, was a place in time he wanted to exploit. “So, can you walk out of this banquet room, or would you like me to carry you?”

“How about you go first and I’ll follow in ten minutes?”

“So, this is to be a clandestine affair?”

“Clandestine and cautious,” she said. “Because we have only tonight. This is just the fantasy. Do you understand? Tonight, the fantasy. Tomorrow, the reality.”

“Yes,” he said, because he wasn’t a greedy man. One night was all he had in him. That was the way he structured his life. “Very good rules to live by. No relationship, no tangles. That’s been my motto for years.” Even though he imagined one night with Michi was more than anything he’d ever hoped for. But even in the fantasy there had to be practicality. That was the story of his life. He didn’t want a real involvement. It was too complicated. Hearts got broken. Someone survived while someone else did not. No, what he did, what he had, worked. A life without those involvements suited him just fine.

“Ten minutes,” he said, brushing a slow, lush kiss to her lips before turning and walking away. Yes, ten minutes before his world would change, even if only for one night. But, for the first time in his life, he felt oddly uncomfortable with that arrangement. To think about why or put thought into it would only ruin the moment, and he wanted this moment like he’d wanted no other before. So, he put it out of his mind as he pushed the elevator button and went to his room on the sixth floor.

* * *

Michi stood in the hall outside his door for several minutes, simply staring. Was she totally out of her head, seducing him the way she’d just done? She paced back and forth for a little while, downed the rest of her champagne, wished she had another glassful. Then finally she drew in a deep breath, bent down and took off her ungodly uncomfortable shoes, stepped up to his door and knocked.

When he opened to her, she simply handed him her shoes on the way in, and it took a full twenty seconds before she realized he’d already rid himself of his shirt. And there he was, the perfect image of the man of her dreams. Interesting, smart, a little intense. The typical tall, dark, handsome hunk. Smoldering. Sexy. Virile. Provocative. Seductive. All those descriptions from her fantasies come to life. All hers for a little while.

“You’re thinking too much,” he said, as he shut the door and tossed the shoes aside.

“Good thoughts,” she said.

“About me, I hope.” He started to walk toward her, but Michi held out her hand to stop him.

“Playing games?” he asked.

“Making memories.”

He chuckled. “We haven’t done anything to make memories of, Michi, and if you’ve changed your mind, it’s not too late for you to turn around and go back downstairs to the reception you’re hosting. That would be the practical thing to do.”

“Maybe I don’t want practical,” she said, moving closer to him, then raising her hand to slide it around his neck. “Maybe I’m always practical and tonight I want something else.” Even though her mind was still a little wobbly, it was made up. One night, one time with one perfect man. The handsome stranger who would come and go in her life and leave her with a memory of the time she’d stepped outside herself to do something daring. No strings, no attachments. Throw caution to the wind this once, because the wind had never thrown anything back that wasn’t painful.

So, no, it wasn’t her style, but she didn’t want it to be. Just once she wanted to know what being bold and reckless would feel like, as being anything else hadn’t gotten her what she wanted. But one night of excitement with Eric and maybe that would be enough before she stepped back into her life and its harsh realities.

And Eric was... He was pure, raw sex and total excitement. And she wanted it all.

## CHAPTER ONE

MICHI SATO LOOKED UP at the massive building, wondering how many stories high it was. She guessed somewhere between twenty-five and thirty, all belonging to Eric and, maybe someday, Riku?

She really hadn’t given Eric’s status much of a thought up until now, and simply seeing his name in gold looming over the massive bank of revolving glass doors caused her stomach to churn. Even as outgoing as she was, she wasn’t up to this. Finding herself so close to Eric now, after all this time, caused too many unanswered questions to come to mind.

Her motivation for that night, his motivation as well. Certainly nothing long term had been meant. They’d both made that clear during pillow talk and foreplay. Then look what had happened. Especially after her doctor had told her only weeks before it was an impossibility. That her condition had gone from bad to abandon all hope.

“I’m so glad he was wrong,” she said, kissing Riku on the cheek. “Mommy hasn’t done everything the best way she could have, but that’s all going to change now.” After Eric knew he had a son. After Riku’s surgery. There were so many things weighing her down now, so much guilt she had to come to terms with, she didn’t know where to begin. But she was here to start a new course. At least, that was what she kept telling herself. New course, new direction, new leaf turned over. It sounded good, but in practice...well, that was the part she wasn’t sure about. But the first step was behind her now, and that was good.

Of course, she’d told herself other things, too, that she’d backed away from, hadn’t she? Namely, not telling Eric he was daddy to her two-year-old. She’d tried, had made futile attempts at calling, texting and using any other means of electronic communication available. Then she’d given up. But that didn’t make things better. In fact, in the long run it would make things worse than she could probably even imagine.

“Mommy’s going to make it all better,” she said. How? She didn’t know. But she’d figure it out.

And now, on the second step of her journey—trying to figure out how to tell him—here she was, looking in Eric’s window, holding his son, and so confused her head was spinning. In just a few days Riku’s long-awaited surgery would take place—a surgery Eric should know about as it had been his specialty when he’d been a practicing surgeon.

Of course, that would have meant telling Eric somewhere along the way that he had a son, then also telling him his son had a heart defect. Neither of which she’d done. Yet. Except the yet part was looming like a black raincloud over her. All the good intentions in the world wouldn’t stop it from bursting and pouring down on her. It was up to her to make the plan that would avoid it—step into a doorway or, in this case, Eric’s office.

But, no. Instead, here she was, like a little girl with her nose to the toy-store window, hoping for the prettiest doll inside. Expecting to get it but fearing she wouldn’t. Expecting Eric to overlook that she’d kept his son from him all this time but fearing he would not forgive her. And in some fragmented way, hoping the three of them could become a family on some level. All while the black cloud was getting closer and closer to bursting.

“Be glad you’re too young to know about responsibilities,” she said to Riku, turning so her body would shield his from the slight gust of warm wind whipping up the streets and down the alleys. “Or how to make something right you’ve already made such a mess of.”

Realistically, she wasn’t counting on things turning out well as far as Eric was concerned. Sure, he could walk away from the entire situation, which didn’t seem at all like the man she’d known for little more than a night. Or he might recognize Riku as his son, then want more of Riku in his life than she was prepared to give him. And that seemed the greater possibility. But would he go so far as try for full custody since she’d hidden his sick child from him for two years? Or argue that she was negligent given how he was an expert in the procedure his son needed to have done?

This was what scared her. And why Eric scared her. He might want more of Riku than she could bear to give up. Now, she feared, she was about to find out just how much, and she wasn’t sure what she’d do once she knew. Wasn’t ready for that, wasn’t ready to face the consequences she’d set into motion, whatever they might be.

Still, she had always to remember this was about Riku, not her. Not even Eric. Right now, her son was the only one who counted, and when she did tell Eric about him, she hoped he would be able to see that was the case. At least until after Riku’s surgery.

“Your daddy’s inside that building, Riku,” she said, turning again so the boy bundled in her arms could look through the window. “He’s a very nice man. And kind. A perfect man to be your father. I know you don’t understand what I’m telling you, but you will someday.”

And she prayed he didn’t hate her when he did understand, even when she’d finally gathered the courage to correct her mistakes long before Riku would be old enough to hate her for what she’d done.

That was another fear she had to live with: the possibility that Riku could turn away from her once he was old enough to know what his mother had done. If that day ever came, well...she wouldn’t think about it. The way she hadn’t thought about other consequences.

So, true to form, she wasn’t going to deal with that now, when she was so confused, so angry at herself, and so afraid for her son’s life. Especially not when every ounce of everything inside her was devoted to Riku and what was ahead for him.

“I wish you could tell me what to do,” she told Riku, snuggling him in even closer to her. “Your mommy didn’t make some wise choices and now she’s very discouraged that what she’s done might touch you in ways I never intended to happen.”

Riku’s response was to reach up and grab Michi’s hair, then giggle.

“Do you know how cute you are?” she asked, trying to extricate herself from his playful grip. This child was her world, nothing else mattered. And it still surprised her how much she’d changed in such a short time. “OK, so you’re not going to answer me. But take my word for it, you’re the cutest little boy ever.”

It was a mild November day, the sun was bright, the slight gusts of wind warm enough that people had taken off their jackets to enjoy the unexpected rise in temperature. But Michi tucked Riku’s little fist into the blanket in which he was wrapped. So maybe she was overprotective. What of it? She’d had so much difficulty bringing him into this world.

She’d lost count of how many times she’d almost lost him before his birth; didn’t know how long she’d been hospitalized to prevent a miscarriage early on and a stillbirth later. It had been such a struggle, then afterwards a beautiful baby boy...with a heart defect. All of it had been so much to deal with, the hysterectomy after Riku’s birth being the least of her concerns. That mess with the social worker calling her unfit had been traumatic. So, if she wanted to be overprotective, she had good cause.

In her defense, she’d tried contacting Eric early on, but the information on him from the seminar had been old, and she’d refused to ask her aunt to forward information on to him as that would have revealed her pregnancy long before she’d wanted to. So, she’d put it off. Had promised herself she’d do it later. But later had brought her pregnancy difficulties, then a sick baby, outside complications...too many “laters” had added up until she’d known she’d passed the point of reasonability. All that, plus she simply hadn’t been coping. One step at a time. That was all she had been able to manage. One difficult, often heartbreaking step at a time.

Still, she had always intended to find Eric at some point, maybe when Riku was through the worst of it. Or maybe when she wasn’t so consumed by guilt and confusion and strange emotions she couldn’t even identify.

Even with all the mistakes she’d made, though, look what she had. The world. Riku was the whole world to her. And now, as she hugged him and stood looking into the Hart building, the urgency to make this right was pounding at her. “He’s in there somewhere,” she said, hoping yet not hoping to catch a glimpse of Eric. “Anyway, it’s silly standing out here, not sure what I’d do if I did see him,” she said to her son. “Besides, look who’s here.”

She twisted so Riku could see his great-aunt walking with outstretched arms to greet them. Riku stretched his arms out to her as well.

“Just what we need,” Agnes Blaine said. “A whole afternoon to spoil my nephew.”

Michi laughed. “Not too much spoiling, I hope.”

Takumi, Agnes’s partner of twenty-five years and Michi’s uncle, stepped to Agnes’s side. “That would be between Riku and us.” He bent over and kissed his nephew. “And maybe the clerk in the toy store.”

Michi loved these people. They’d been there for her at the end of her pregnancy, then through some of Riku’s early tests. And they were part of the small circle of family she’d trusted enough to let them care for Riku for a few hours, or even a full day.

“The amount of spoiling we bestow upon our nephew is a personal matter,” Agnes teased, looking up at the gold embossing over the building: Eric Hart Property Management. “You haven’t...?”

Michi shook her head, then stepped back. Agnes and Takumi knew to leave it alone. Her whole family did. Yes, everybody knew Eric Hart was Riku’s father, but it was not a topic anyone ever discussed. At least, not in front of Michi. “He’s just up from his nap, so he should be good for a while. And I shouldn’t be gone long.” Just long enough to spend some time alone, to think.

“We’ll be back home when you get there,” Takumi said, pulling Michi into his arms. “Be patient with yourself,” he said. “Everything will be as it’s meant to be.”

And, in the blink of an eye, she was alone on the sidewalk in front of Eric’s building. It was the first step. And her second step would take her inside.

* * *

“No, I’m not going to my afternoon meeting. We couldn’t come to terms over the phone, so I cancelled it. No point in wasting everybody’s time. But Bucky Henderson is still coming in this morning since he flew all the way from Texas before I could stop him, and I’m hoping we can come to some kind of terms. I like the land he’s proposing I buy, but I’m not really into what he wants to do with it. Which means I need this meeting to see if he’s open to compromise.”

So maybe he wasn’t the best businessman in the world. Lord knew, he wasn’t his old man when it came to property management and land deals, but this was his lot now. People depended on him, and he tried his best not to let them down.

“Will you need the lawyers here for the meeting?” his secretary Natalie asked.

“No. And I don’t need anybody from the real estate acquisition division here either.” He’d settle for it to go all his way, or even for a compromise. But if Bucky didn’t buy into that... “They know what the deal is, and what I’d like to see it become, so we’re set.” Besides, having too many people around the business table was intimidating and while that might have been his old man’s way of conducting business, it wasn’t his.

“Then you’ve made up your mind?” Natalie asked. She was an older woman. Nearing seventy, he thought. Efficient, smart, and his dad’s mistress for more than a quarter of a century. One of the many. Only Natalie was the one who’d kept him on the business track and for that devotion, no matter how misguided, Eric had let her stay, despite the badly kept secret that she’d played some part in his parents’ divorce. But Natalie wasn’t alone—there was the part his mother had played in the story, a part he knew nothing about.

“Not entirely. But I’m getting closer.”

“Your father would have had this deal wrapped up weeks ago,” Natalie reminded him. Her gray hair pulled back into a knot at the base of her neck, her glasses riding low on her nose, her perpetual frown and critical tone...there were days he wished she’d retired. Pretty much most days. But, like everything else, he felt an obligation to right his dad’s wrongs. And there were so many of them. As for Natalie, she was just a drop in his father’s unfortunate ocean.

“Of course he would have. But I’m not my father. I’m a surgeon, and as a surgeon I don’t just hop into a procedure without knowing every angle of it.” He forced a friendly smile, even though he knew Natalie would take one more shot. She always did.

“You were a surgeon,” she reminded him. “Past tense, Eric. Remember that.”

“You’re right, of course. I was a surgeon.” At heart, he still was. But circumstances had changed when his dad had died, leaving him not only an international property management corporation but a billion dollars, windmills, camels and God only knew what else.

Oh, his dad hadn’t expected he’d be able to run the company and had even gone so far as to make provisions to put the governance under the control of a hand-picked board. Hand-picked by his father, of course. In other words, ten daddy clones trying to rule his life instead of one daddy. He’d fired them and put into place various people who made sense to him. An environmentalist, a construction engineer, a social worker, even a teacher. All people he respected and admired and not a designer suit amongst them.

“Look, I’m going across the street for coffee.”

“But we have that expensive coffee system your father had put in.”

“We have a coffee system that makes espresso, latte macchiato, cappuccino and even milk foam. It makes café mocha, frappé and yungyang, whatever the hell that is. But what it doesn’t make is a decent cup of black coffee. So, I’ll run out and grab one, then I’ll be back in time to meet with Bucky. Oh, and if the coffee machine doesn’t make anything he prefers, text me and I’ll bring him a cup of black coffee, too.”

“He’s a busy man, Eric,” she warned. “Don’t keep him waiting.”

He never did. A habit from his doctor days, he supposed. But Natalie always said it, and he always responded with, “I won’t.” While gritting his teeth. “Anyway, would you like something?” he asked. “Regular coffee, tea, a scone?”

Every time he asked she always looked surprised. Probably because his dad had never made a simple, kind gesture toward her. Which, in a way, was the same boat he was in. Always trying to find a way to get noticed by his dad, and never succeeding. So, while she may have had the occasional romp in his father’s bed and a paycheck, at the end of her day she’d always gone home alone. Just like he had, until he’d been sent off to boarding school.

Was there a term that meant more than alone? Because that was what he’d always felt growing up...more than alone. The one left out. Left behind. Forgotten. An obstacle in his dad’s path.

“I’m perfectly fine with what your father’s coffee system makes,” she said.

Poor Natalie. Always the trouper. And always let down. Yep, he knew the feeling. “OK, then I’ll be back in a few.” Even though he would have preferred a nice walk, or maybe some people-watching in Central Park, he didn’t have a choice. That wasn’t his life now. Getting back to Bucky Henderson to discuss the purchase of a large chunk of Texas for a casino with all the frills was.

Sighing, Eric stood after Natalie left, then went to the window. His dad’s office had always been at the top—the twenty-fifth floor. In a massive corner suite, with plate-glass views of the city in all directions. His own office, however, was on the second floor, one window, limited view, and small in comparison to what awaited him on the top floor. Occupying it was an egregious act, he supposed. One that signaled ambivalence. And being at the top signified power. So, his defiant little office on the second floor would probably speak volumes to a shrink, if he cared to go that route. Which he didn’t. But none of it really mattered, did it? He did his job, his employees had their lives secured, and the world kept spinning.

For a moment, Eric scrutinized the people walking on the sidewalk below. Where were they going? Why were they in such a hurry? Were they happily married or cheating on an unsuspecting spouse? He liked speculating about other people’s lives since he barely had one of his own. Speculating made him feel like he was still in touch, even though he knew damn well he wasn’t.

One last glance before he headed out for coffee and someone down there caught his eye. From his vantage he couldn’t see much of her, so he adjusted for a better look and what he saw was well worth the effort. She was walking with a purpose. Long strides that outdistanced all the people around her. Shouldering her way through all the congestion like a woman with a purpose. He could almost hear the click of her heels on the cement, she was moving so fast. Like a whirlwind whooshing in and out of the crowd. And beautiful. Black hair pulled back away from her face. A stunning figure that men could only dream about.

She was Japanese, he thought. Reminded him of Michi...her height, her stature. Michi...so often on his mind. The one he shouldn’t have let get away. But in the nearly three years since he’d spent that incredible night with her, too much had happened. Too many responsibilities had pulled him away from what he wanted to do and dumped him into the pile of all the things he had to do.

There had been a time Michi had been what he’d wanted. Maybe in some ways, she still was. But it was too late for that. He’d made his choice the morning he’d left without a goodbye. After that, there was no turning back.

Michi was the one he regretted walking away from, though. The only one. Even now, she floated through his mind in the unguarded moments, taunting him for what he’d missed out on. One night only. It was what he’d told her because it was what he’d meant. Something had happened that night. Something that had unhinged him and compelled him to do what he’d never done before—given himself over to a casual fling that had turned out to be so much more. At least, in his thoughts. Still, one night with Michi...

Eric closed his eyes, conjuring up her image. Funny how what he remembered of her seemed to meld with the woman he’d just seen on the walkway outside. Maybe it was because he’d never truly gotten over her. Granted, they’d only known each other a few hours when the text that had changed his life had come. But in those few hours...it had been like he’d known her for days, or weeks, or months. Maybe his whole life. Could she have been the one? He didn’t know as he’d never found himself in that mindset before. The possibilities hadn’t escaped him, however. And as she’d lain there next to him, her breath sounds so tiny and precise, he’d simply listened, and wondered what would happen if they had one more night.

Unfortunately, the opportunity to go beyond that night had never happened. Still, in the very few—as in could be counted on one hand—dates he’d had with other women since then, nothing had ever seemed right. To himself, he’d nitpicked every woman to pieces before their date, then always cut the evening short because she hadn’t what he’d wanted. And for sure, he’d never dated any of those hopefuls twice. Because of his job, he always told himself. Yes, because of his job.

But somewhere in all that mess, thoughts of Michi pushed everything away. Even now, when he should be concentrating on Bucky’s proposal, his mind was wandering back to Sapporo, to that one perfect night.

Which meant it was time to go get that coffee, refocus, and figure out his next step in the Texas land acquisition deal. So, Eric put on his suit coat—he really hated wearing suits every day, but that was the dress code, so he observed it—took a quick look in the mirror in his private bathroom, straightened his tie, then traced, with his left index finger, all the new lines and creases that were beginning to show. So many changes to his body in the past couple of years. What did it matter?

There had been a time when he’d appreciated the sideways glances of the nurses who hadn’t known he knew they were watching. And that obvious flirtation from Michi in Japan...something that had twisted and turned him in ways he hadn’t expected then, and even now. So maybe the looks weren’t going down too badly, but what he saw staring back at him from the mirror was a man who was...resigned to something that didn’t make him happy. Didn’t satisfy him either. Didn’t give him the good, hard feeling of being tired but satisfied that made him sleep well at night. As long as he spent his days behind this desk, doing mediocre work at best, it would always be that way.

“But we keep promising to fix things, don’t we?” he always said to his mirror, ever hopeful that saying it out loud to an inanimate object that wouldn’t criticize him might actually inspire him to go out and find some of that old mojo again. And did he ever need that inspiration. Where and how, though? He didn’t have a clue. But at least all hope hadn’t died. That was something to hang onto. Although sometimes hanging only by a thread.

Once Eric decided he was “Hart-ready,” as his dad had called it, he headed for his office door. And his thoughts—on the woman he’d seen outside. The fairy-tale would have them bump into each other in the coffee shop, then spend hours talking, laughing, getting to know each other. They would make plans for dinner that night—someplace slow and dim, where they could talk quietly and tell secrets. Then they’d go back to his place...and that was where it stopped.

Those days were behind him even though he was only thirty-six, and now he was all about the corporate life where everything ran on fear and promises, and most of those promises were empty, like his social life.

“Sure you don’t want something?” he asked Natalie again, as he headed out the door. The fact that she didn’t even take her eyes off her computer screen didn’t surprise him. Now, as she did so often, she was looking through her gallery of pictures of the only man she’d ever loved. Lost in his world. Reliving the life she’d never had. Sad. But sometimes the choices people made weren’t easily shed. For Natalie, that was his father. For him...trying to please a man who would never be pleased. And now it was too late.

Would that be him someday? Sitting at a computer, looking through reminders of a life he had never had, and an undertaking in which he’d failed so miserably. He sincerely hoped not.

## CHAPTER TWO

IT WAS A cozy little café. Pastries, teas, coffee, flowers, and all sorts of gifty things that were cute, but not practical. And the café was full to overflowing with people. Loud, but nice. Michi had managed to snag the last table available, the one in the corner, the one with the worst view in the shop. But that didn’t matter. She wasn’t in the mood for being social or enjoying views. All she wanted was a tea, and some time by herself to think.

She was worried, naturally. Riku would be in great hands with Dr. Kapoor. She was sure of that. But right now, that wasn’t her biggest concern. It was Eric, and what to do about that whole situation. He had a right to know he had a son. He also had a right to know his son had a heart defect. But hadn’t she tried to contact him early on her pregnancy? Then later, after Riku was born, hadn’t she tried again?

Well, that was the way she pacified herself when she got in the mood. Telling herself she’d tried. That she’d been so overwhelmed that her thinking hadn’t been sharp. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did not. Today it wasn’t even coming close because her motivations were not even clear to herself anymore. Except for one. But that had nothing to do with Eric, and it was something she surely didn’t want him to know: being accused of being an unfit mother.

So, there was that weight she always carried, as well as not telling Eric the truth from the start. And, of course, her default excuse...yeah, right, she’d tried. What of it?

Yet he was right across the street now. Easy, convenient. All she had to do was walk over there—and then what? Would she produce papers proving Riku was Eric’s? Wait, she didn’t have papers. Hadn’t even put Eric’s name on the birth certificate. So, would he simply believe her? Hello, Eric. I had your baby two years ago. Probably not. Then there was always the question of whether he’d want to be an involved father. She knew he’d be a good father, just from the little she knew of him. But would he want that?

There were so many questions with answers awaiting her. Answers she feared. So, for now, she’d sip her tea and hope for an angel or something to drop down from the sky and give her the solution she needed because she sure wasn’t in any state to figure it out on her own.

“Would you care for a refill on your tea?” a young man asked, startling Michi out of her thoughts. “Another tea bag, more hot water?”

She looked up at him and smiled. “That would be lovely,” she said, gazing beyond the server to the table where four women sat chattering away as they ate their pastries. “With a little more lemon,” she added. “And maybe one of those scones I saw earlier when I was at the counter.”

“Happy to oblige, ma’am,” the young man said, then scooted through the tangle of people who weren’t lucky enough to have a place to sit but who obviously weren’t ready to go back outside and face the rest of the day.

Michi leaned back in her chair, trying to relax, but she was too wound up for that, so she simply sipped her tea, ate her scone when the server brought it, and stared out the window at Eric’s building, like that was going to give her some kind of resolution. Intermittently, she flipped through her phone to various photos of Riku and only then did that feeling of despair go away. One perfect little face with such a calming effect. Who would have ever guessed that she could have fallen in love so deeply. But she had, and she would literally give her life for that little boy.

“I hope you like blueberry, because I’ve bagged up one to take with you. You look like you’re in a blueberry kind of mood,” the server said, handing over a bag. “On the house.”

“Thank you,” she said, as she repositioned herself in the seat. “So, tell me—what, exactly, identifies a blueberry mood?”

“Someone who’s worrying or being contemplative. You’ve been in here quite a while and it’s obvious something’s on your mind. Something heavy, judging from all the frowning.”

Was she so transparent that the young man with the scones could identify her mood? He was right—it was definitely blueberry. “Maybe if I come back, I’ll be in a strawberry mood. Would that be better?”

“Yes, because our strawberry scones are one of the most popular and strawberry is a very happy state of mind.”

“Then make sure you save me a strawberry and I’ll work hard on my strawberry mood before I get here.” She took a bite of her blueberry scone, then a sip of her tea, and started to pop back into her photo gallery, but a voice at a nearby table startled her out of her plan.

“Help! Somebody, please, help. She’s choking.”

Instantly alert, Michi jumped up and ran to the table where the ladies she’d observed were sitting. Sure enough, one of them was choking. Sitting up straight, confused, trying to breathe, the woman rolled her eyes up at Michi, and her expression was beyond frightened. She was dying, and she knew it.

“Please, stand back,” Michi yelled to the crowd, as she leaned the choking woman forward and slapped her back five times. She’d hoped that whatever was lodged in the woman’s windpipe would come loose, but unfortunately that didn’t happen.

So, from behind again, she wrapped her arms around the woman’s ribcage, forming a fist with both hands. Then she pulled the woman toward her, giving an upward thrust each of the five times she tried. Still, nothing happened. And now the woman was turning blue. Her lips, her fingernails. Oxygen deprivation, Michi knew as she started the whole procedure over again. “Has somebody called for an ambulance?” she shouted to the crowd.

One deep, smooth voice stood out over the noise of the crowd. “ETA less than five,” he said, pushing himself through the crowd, then kneeling next to Michi. “And she doesn’t have five minutes left in her,” he continued.

Michi looked over to see who was working with her, and gasped. “Eric?”

“Michi?” he said, as he took over the upward thrusts Michi was doing. One, two—on the third thrust it worked and the woman sucked in a deep breath.

“Stay still,” Michi cautioned her, trying not to think what would happen next, when the ambulance took her to the hospital. “The paramedics will be here shortly, and they’ll take you to the emergency room so the doctors there can run some tests to make sure you’re good.”

Gasping for breath, the woman nodded her understanding as Eric took her pulse again. “Much better,” he said, giving her a reassuring pat on the arm. “You’ve come through the hard part like a champ, and this next part in the hospital will be much easier. And it won’t be happening on a cold cement floor.”

She smiled up at him, drew in a deep breath, then closed her eyes, not from fear but from trusting Eric, who’d taken off his jacket and placed it under her head.

The way Eric was with the poor woman...it nearly brought a lump to Michi’s throat. This was a man who was born to be a doctor. A man who shouldn’t have given it up. And he was Riku’s father, she thought as a swell of pride overtook her. “Paramedics are on their way in,” she said, glancing out the window, not so much to watch for the paramedics as to pull herself together.

Immediately, the onlookers in the café began to move tables and chairs back and push the display shelf of coffees and mugs for sale to the wall to make room for the two paramedics, their equipment and their stretcher. “Her vitals are stabilizing,” Eric said. “So now it’s more about her being frightened than anything else.”

The woman looked up at him again and nodded, and Michi was still amazed by the way not only the woman but everyone in the room responded to him. Even in the middle of a medical crisis his voice was so calm, so reassuring she was impressed by how much she remembered the detail of it. It was the same deep, convincing undertone that had seduced her. The same richness that had enticed her into his bed. Yet now she could hear the edge, the command. And she could see the way people were responding.

“I was actually thinking about you earlier,” Eric said.

There hadn’t been a day gone by since he’d left her that she hadn’t thought about him. She’d sculpted the perfect words to say when she did finally catch up to him. Practiced them. Edited. Practiced. Edited. And now that the moment had arrived, all she could think to say was, “How have you been?” Stupid. Stupid. And she didn’t hear his answer between the noise of people still moving tables back and the mad flurry of the pounding feet of people trying to get out of the way.

“She’s doing better,” Michi said, as Eric bent down again, but this time not as keen to watch the patient as he was to look at her. “Respirations still shallow and fast, but nothing dangerous.”

Ruth, the choking victim, smiled at Eric like he was the only one in the room as the paramedics took quick vital signs, then lifted her onto the stretcher. At that point, Eric took her hand and went with them to the ambulance, and it was only when they had arranged her in the back and were getting ready to shut the door that he let go. Once he did, he slapped the door to indicate everything was good, and the ambulance siren came on, then the vehicle nosed its way into bumper-to-bumper New York traffic.

“She really trusted you,” Michi said, standing behind him.

“I think if you’re in a life or death situation and there’s somebody there to help you, you naturally trust them. Haven’t been in one myself, but it makes sense.”

“How have you been, Eric?” she asked again as they walked back over to the sidewalk.

“Busy. New responsibilities, a new job, a new life.”

“Medicine’s loss,” she said, clearly uneasy. This wasn’t the right place to tell him about Riku, neither was it the right time. But it was circling around her now, the reality of what she was about to face. “My, um...aunt mentioned you’d left surgery to take over your family business.”

“Duty called,” he said. “But that’s life, right? Things happening when you least expect it. Like you. I thought I saw you outside my building a while ago,” he said, following her back through the congestion of people and displaced tables and chairs in the café. “Standing on the sidewalk.”

“I was taking a walk earlier, so you might have.” Since he wasn’t mentioning the baby she’d been carrying, she assumed he hadn’t seen Riku. “I was on my way to order coffee and a scone,” she answered, then laughed. “Which is pretty obvious since we met in a shop where they sell coffee and scones.”

“Good coffee, great scones. So, can I get you something? The blueberry scones are the best, in my opinion.”

Blueberry. That caused her to laugh. Today she must have simply reminded everybody of a blueberry, and that one little scone held so many ramifications, her stomach turned over and all she wanted was to turn around and get out of there, blueberry scone or not. “After what just happened, I’m out of the mood,” she said.

“Well, I’ve got a secretary back in the office who’s expecting delivery service, even though she’ll deny it, so...” He stepped on ahead to the counter, placed his order, then turned back to Michi, who’d taken several steps toward the door. “Not that it’s any of my business but are you in New York for any reason in particular?”

To find him? No. To find herself, perhaps. Mostly, though, for Riku. “Family,” she said. “My uncle and his partner are here, and...” She shrugged as she took another couple of steps backward toward the door. Opened it, then hesitated for a moment. “Look, I need to get going. They’re expecting me.”

“I wish I’d known you were coming. Maybe we could have set aside an evening...”

“Maybe,” she said on a wistful sigh as she stepped out onto the sidewalk.

“Is it too late for that? Since I’m the boss I can juggle my schedule. Maybe something tonight? Dinner?”

That could be the perfect time and place to tell him everything. Which was why she was hesitating. Her fear of what she had to do was finally turning into her reality. “It’s not like we started anything real that night. Then the way you left me... I mean, I didn’t have expectations. But when you do what we did, I should think there’d be a civil goodbye at the end of it.” Except failed contraception had turned that into an impossibility because she had Riku now. And no regrets, except her actions.

But if she did decide to tell Eric, would he have regrets? Well, now wasn’t the time to tell him, and now wasn’t the time to discover the answer to her question. Maybe that angel had dropped down when she wasn’t looking and left her with enough of a solution to get her by for a little while. But only for a little while as she still felt unsettled. “Seven,” she finally said. “At my uncle’s restaurant.” A comfort zone she desperately needed now.

“Which is?”

“Tanoshī Shō, if you don’t mind eating Japanese food. It’s small, quiet, and the chef...they don’t come any better than Takumi. But if you’d prefer a steak, or something Italian...”

“What I’d prefer is an hour or two of your time, Michi. That morning when I left...it never felt resolved. You know, lacking the whole closure thing people talk about today.”

“Waking up alone in bed is closure enough,” she said, even though she felt the same way he did.

“Then bear with me. There are some things I need to tell you, for my sake.”

“You left me,” she said, slinging her purse over her shoulder. “We weren’t...aren’t...anything, and we knew what we were about, so what happened happened.”

“I had a good reason.”

“And the author Jean Renoir once said, ‘The truly terrible thing is that everybody has their reasons.’” She didn’t want to be obstinate, didn’t want to sound so harsh or rejecting since she too had her reasons. But this was fear bubbling up in her. Pure, raw fear. Everything that had scared her these past nearly three years was finally confronting her, and she had to get it right or too many people would be hurt.

“Look, I don’t want to get into this here. I’ve got a meeting in a few minutes so tonight...”

Michi swallowed hard, then nodded. “Tonight,” she repeated, then managed a smile. “But only if you try my uncle’s peanut amanattō.”

“I don’t believe I know that one,” Eric replied.

“He doesn’t make it for the general public. Mostly for his family.” And in a way Eric was family. “Here, in America, his desserts are a little more Western, but back home this was always a real treat. In fact, there’s a version without the peanuts that Riku loves...” She caught herself before she said anything else. This wasn’t the way to tell him. Not here. Not now. Not a casual mention in a going-nowhere conversation.

“Riku?” Eric questioned. “Who’s Riku?”

“I’ll meet you there at seven,” she said, then scooted around him and headed down the sidewalk, not sure where she was going. But any place away from Eric was good. He’d had such a profound effect on her the first time they’d met that within the first hours she had wondered if their meeting could be the start of something more. Not expecting Riku to be the something more, of course. But everything about Eric was potent and powerful, which was everything she’d needed that night. Someone to push out the reality and offer the fantasy.

And look at her now. All about the reality, and nothing else. But as she thought every time she looked at her son, No regrets. Her medical practice was nearly a thing of the past now, she spent more time in doctors’ offices and doing online research than she’d ever imagined could happen in her life. Every waking minute was fixed on Riku and the next thing she needed to do for him, whether it was bathing him or feeding him, adjusting his oxygen when he required it, or simply cuddle time.

Definitely no regrets, though. Only love for Riku, and maybe a little bit left over for the man who had given her Riku. Because, after all, without knowing it, Eric had redefined her life, given her a purpose far greater than anything she’d ever known. For that, her soft spot for him was large. Larger than she could have ever imagined.