THE COUNTRY BRIDE
Dilly Court

Copyright

Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

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London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2020

Copyright © Dilly Court 2020

Map Copyright © Liane Payne 2019

Jacket Photographs: © Gordon Crabb/Alison Eldred (Girl); Claire Ward (building); Shutterstock.com (all other images)

Cover design by Claire Ward © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2020

Dilly Court asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008287832

Ebook Edition © March 2020 ISBN: 9780008287849

Version: 2020-10-08

Dedication

For Ann Spivey

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Map

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Read on for a sneak peek at Dilly’s next book, Rag-and-Bone Christmas

Keep Reading …

About the Author

Also by Dilly Court

About the Publisher

Map

Chapter One

Creek Manor, Essex 1879

The old house seemed to have been awakened from a long sleep by the sound of children’s laughter and the pitter-patter of scampering feet. Judy glanced anxiously at Mary Tattersall, who looked pale and tired as she sank down on the sofa, while the new parlour maid cleared up the debris left by Daisy Walters’ boisterous young sons.

‘Would you like me to make you a camomile tisane, Mrs Tattersall?’ Judy asked gently.

Mary gave her a wan smile. ‘No, thank you, Judy. I love Daisy’s children, but they are exhausting. I’m always delighted to see them when she brings them over from Colneyhurst Hall, but it’s a relief when she takes them home again.’

‘They are very lively,’ Judy conceded, smiling.

‘To think that they might have been my grandchildren.’ Mary sighed and turned her head away. ‘Jay not only cheated on Daisy and that other woman he married bigamously, he deceived me, his own mother, and that I find very hard to forgive.’

‘Thank you, Lizzie.’ Judy nodded to the maid, who had stacked a tray with the dirty crockery, half-eaten slices of bread and butter, and cake crumbs. ‘That will be all for now.’

‘Yes, Miss Begg.’ Lizzie backed out of the door, narrowly missing collision with a young woman who rushed into the room, blonde curls falling loose to her shoulders, and her bonnet hanging over her arm.

‘What have you forgotten, Molly?’ Judy asked with a sigh. Her seventeen-year-old sister carried out her duties as nursemaid to Daisy Walters’ children in a haphazard style all of her own. Scatterbrained and disorganised, Molly was disarmingly good-natured and extremely pretty – qualities that were guaranteed to make everyone forget her failings.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Molly said breathlessly. ‘I forgot Master Henry’s jacket.’ She gazed round the room and her blue eyes lit up as she spotted the missing garment. ‘There it is.’ She pounced on it. ‘I’d better hurry. They’re waiting for me.’ She left the room with a flurry of starched white petticoats.

‘That girl gives me a headache,’ Mary said feebly. ‘She’s exhausting.’

‘She means well, ma’am.’ Judy caught sight of herself in one of the gilt-framed mirrors that adorned the walls of the drawing room. The likeness between herself and her sister was striking, but Molly was the flighty one, who could get away with anything. Judy had always been the serious, responsible older sister. She raised her hand to smooth a stray curl that had dared to escape from the chignon at the back of her neck. ‘I sometimes wish I was more like her.’

‘You’re fine as you are, my dear.’ Mary fidgeted restlessly. ‘I’m not very comfortable.’

Judy plumped up the cushions, and Mary leaned back, closing her eyes. ‘Where’s your mother, Judy?’

‘She’s in the study, ma’am. It’s the end of the quarter and she’s getting the household accounts ready for me to check before they go to Mrs Ralston.’

‘I don’t know what I’d do without her, or you, come to that, Judy. I’ve no head for figures and when Mrs Ralston finally retires, you will take over her position as housekeeper. That is, if you still wish to do so?’

Judy hesitated. To agree to such an offer at the age of twenty seemed like condemning herself to early middle age, but what alternative was there for a woman like herself? She could remember what life had been like in London when she was a small child. The smell of poverty, and the gnawing pangs of hunger were something she would never forget. Life had been so much better since Daisy, having witnessed the terrible street accident that had killed their father and crippled their mother, had brought Judy’s small family to live at Creek Manor. They had nothing to complain about, although sometimes Judy found herself wondering what life would be like now if she returned to London. She had broadened her very basic education by reading as many of the books from the late squire’s library as she could, and she had had the added bonus of sharing lessons with Mary’s youngest son, Jack, who had been a somewhat unwilling student. They had been close friends since childhood, although she had seen little of him since he went away to the school that educated the sons of gentlemen and the ambitious middle classes. But that friendship had changed subtly last summer, and Jack’s return to university had left Judy feeling bereft. She had been counting the days until his return. She came back to the present with a start, and realised that Mrs Tattersall was staring at her with a puzzled frown.

‘You do want to stay on here, don’t you, Judy?’

‘Yes, of course, ma’am. This is my home and my family are here in Little Creek.’

‘The position of housekeeper is a worthy occupation,’ Mary insisted wearily. ‘You could do a lot worse, and Ida Ralston is an excellent example.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ Judy shifted from one foot to the other. They owed everything to the Tattersall family, but sometimes she longed to be free. There was a whole wide world out there, although her choices were limited, and she would either opt for a life in service, or marriage to one of the village boys she had known from childhood. Jack’s friends Danny Shipway and Alfie Green both vied for her attention on Sundays when everyone attended morning service, but she could never take them seriously. ‘If that’s all, ma’am, I’ll go and check on the arrangements for Master Jack’s return from university.’

Mary’s face lit up with a smile. ‘I can’t wait to see him. I could never have imagined that my little Jackdaw would do me proud, and it’s all thanks to Daisy’s husband. I can never thank Marius enough for everything he’s done for my son. Jack was born into poverty, but now he’s a gentleman.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ Judy had heard it all before, but she tried to look as if this was a revelation. ‘May I be excused now, Mrs Tattersall?’

Mary raised herself to a more upright position. ‘Not yet, Judy. I want a word with you before my son arrives. Sit down, please.’

Judy eyed her warily as she perched on the edge of a chair opposite the sofa. ‘Have I done something wrong, ma’am?’

‘No, of course not, my dear. It’s just that things have changed since we first moved into Creek Manor. You were just a child then and we were all like one big family.’

‘I’m sure we’re very grateful for everything, ma’am.’

‘I’m not asking for gratitude, Judy. But I’m neither blind nor insensitive. I know that you and Jack were always good companions, and I suspect that your friendship deepened into something more when he came home last summer.’

Judy felt the blood rush to her cheeks and she stared down at her clasped hands. ‘Nothing untoward has ever occurred between us, madam.’

‘I’m sure it hasn’t, which is why I wanted to speak to you now. Jack will have to take over running the estate, because it’s become too much for me, even with all the help I have had. Legally it all belongs to Jay, but I haven’t heard from him since he left this house ten years ago, and I doubt if he’ll ever return from Australia, so that means that to all intents and purposes Jack will be lord of the manor.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

‘Do you understand what I’m saying, Judy?’

‘Not exactly, ma’am.’

‘This isn’t easy because you’re a sweet girl, and I’m fond of you, but Jack needs to marry a woman of good breeding, preferably someone with a decent dowry. The estate makes very little profit and the old house needs a good deal of renovation. Do I make myself clear?’

Judy bowed her head. Of course she knew all this to be true, and she should have been prepared for Mary’s blunt statement of the facts, but facing the truth had hit her like a physical blow. ‘I understand, ma’am.’

‘I knew you would. Don’t think this makes any difference to your position here, Judy. I value you more than you can imagine.’

Judy rose to her feet. ‘I have work to do, if you’ll excuse me, Mrs Tattersall.’

‘Of course. What am I thinking of?’ Mary sighed happily. ‘I’ll just rest my eyes for a few minutes before I go upstairs and change for dinner. We have to keep up the traditions of Creek Manor, after all, and with luck Jack will arrive soon.’

Judy left the room quietly. She had known all along that her position was tenuous, and her relationship with Jack was doomed from the start, but hearing it put into words had been the final blow. She stood for a moment, and took a deep breath before making her way to the study. One thing was certain: no one would ever know how deeply she had been hurt, although it was her own fault. She had allowed herself to dream, and that was fatal for a girl born in the East End slums.

She found her mother in the study, as expected, poring over an open ledger.

‘Are you still at it, Ma?’ Judy forced herself to sound normal, although her heart was still thudding away against her ribs and her knees felt weak.

‘Nearly finished, dear. Has Daisy gone home?’

‘Yes, and I’m not sorry. I love Daisy, but those boys of hers are tiny terrors. They’ve practically wrecked the drawing room and poor Mrs Tattersall is worn out.’ Judy managed somehow to sound normal, knowing that her mother would spot the slightest tremor in her voice or a fleeting look of sadness.

‘They’re full of life, and Daisy adores them. I always knew she would be a good mother.’

‘Yes, but she has Nanny Cummings and Molly to look after the children. I had to take care of Molly, Pip and Nate when we were little because you and Pa had to go to work. I was left in charge when I was just a child, and it was hard.’

Hilda closed the ledger and turned to give her daughter a sympathetic smile. ‘I know, dear. But things are different now. One day you’ll have children of your own and you will give them a better life than we gave you.’

‘I didn’t mean that,’ Daisy said hastily. ‘It’s just that Mrs Tattersall is convinced that I’m going to take over from Mrs Ralston when she retires. I’m young, Ma. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting on other people.’

‘You’re an extremely pretty girl, love. With your looks and charm you won’t end up on the shelf.’ Hilda put her head on one side, smiling. ‘Danny and Alfie are always making excuses to see you, and that new young curate went out of his way to speak to you last Sunday. If he decides to stay in Little Creek I’ve no doubt he’ll take over from Mr Peabody one day, and you could be the vicar’s wife.’

The idea of taking over from Grace Peabody, who thought she was queen of Little Creek, made Judy smile. ‘Thank you, Ma, but I don’t think so.’

Hilda rose awkwardly to her feet. Although she managed well with the wooden leg, crafted for her by the village carpenter, the stump left after the amputation became inflamed if she put too much pressure on it, forcing her to rest.

‘Don’t look so worried, Judy. I did too much gardening yesterday and I’m paying for it today, but it will wear off.’

‘You ought not to work so hard, Ma.’ Judy knew only too well that her mother did not want sympathy, but sometimes it was necessary to remind her that she should take care of herself. Hilda Begg was a hard worker by anyone’s standards, and the small cottage that Daisy had given them when she had run the estate was kept spotlessly clean. The garden produced enough fruit and vegetables to keep them going all year round, even allowing for the huge appetites that Pip and Nate brought home from the stables, where they were now employed. Jack had also worked there for a time, but that was before it was known that Mary’s illegitimate elder son, Jay Tattersall, had married Daisy bigamously. Judy had only been ten at the time, but she remembered the hurt it had caused and the ensuing scandal, which had rocked the village. All these ghosts from the past had been resurrected by Mary’s blunt words, and the names and faces whirled around in Judy’s mind, shattering her hopes and dreams.

‘Are you all right, dear?’ Hilda asked anxiously. ‘You’re very pale.’

The sound of horses’ hoofs and the grinding of carriage wheels on the gravel brought Judy abruptly back to the present.

‘I’m fine, Ma.’

‘That sounds as if Jack has come home. You’d better go and see if he needs anything, Judy.’

‘Yes, Ma.’ Judy made an effort to walk slowly, but her feet did not seem to be linked to her brain and she ran to the front entrance.

Jack Fox leaped down from the carriage, exchanging a cheerful greeting with James, the footman, who had been with the family for as long as Judy could remember. She stood at the top of the stone steps, smiling despite the pain in her heart.

‘Judy, you’re looking well.’ Jack was at her side before she had a chance to back into the shadows of the great hall, and he was even taller and better-looking than when she had seen him in the summer. Was it her imagination or did his blue eyes dance with pleasure when he looked at her? Was he even more handsome than the pictures she carried of him in her heart? She lowered her gaze.

‘Welcome home, sir.’

‘Since when did you become so proper, Judy Begg?’

She met his amused gaze with a determined look. ‘We aren’t children now. You’re the master of Creek Manor and I’m one of your servants.’

‘That’s nonsense and you know it. Nothing’s changed, Judy. We’re both older, and I hope a bit wiser than we used to be, but we’re more than just good friends. I intend to marry you one day, but not yet.’ Jack moved to one side as James came puffing up the steps carrying heavy luggage.

‘You’re wrong, Jack,’ Judy said in a low voice. ‘We can never be married.’

‘Why not?’ Jack caught her by the wrist as she was about to walk away. ‘What’s this all about?’

She gazed down at his slim fingers as they circled her slender arm like a band of steel. ‘Let me go, please.’

‘For heaven’s sake!’ Jack released her with an exclamation of annoyance. ‘What sort of welcome home is this?’

‘Your mother is coming.’ The conversation with Mary was still fresh in her mind, and Judy prepared for flight.

‘Thank you, Judy,’ Mary said firmly. ‘I hope you paid attention to what I said earlier.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ Judy bobbed a curtsey and hurried off in the direction of the servants’ quarters. She could hear Jack demanding an explanation, but she knew in her heart that his mother was right. A girl from her background could never aspire to mixing with the gentry, and although Jack had not been born to the position, in his brother’s absence he would inherit the manor house and the estate together with all the responsibilities. Judy remembered only too well the struggle it had been for Daisy when Jay disappeared on their wedding day, and had left her to drag the estate back into profit after years of neglect by the old squire. There had been enough heartache and unhappiness in this house, and Judy was determined to avoid being caught up in the curse of Creek Manor.

She made her way to the kitchen to give Cook the good news that Master Jack had returned and there would be one more for dinner that evening. Nell Pearce had been Judy’s friend since she was a child, and Nell had taught her how to make bread, cakes and tarts, as well as the basics of roasting meat and making savoury stews. The delicious aroma of cooking and the warmth from the great range had always made the kitchen a welcoming place. Nell was always patient, even when Judy had burned the meat pies, or when she had put salt in the gooseberry tart instead of sugar.

‘What’s up, love?’ Nell eyed her curiously. ‘Have you been crying?’

‘No,’ Judy said too quickly to sound convincing. ‘I had something in my eye.’

‘Sit down and I’ll pour you a cup of tea. It’s freshly made.’ Nell bustled about fetching a cup from the dresser and filling it with the hot brew. ‘Now then, the girls are too busy to pay any attention to what you’re saying, so out with it, my duck.’

‘It’s nothing really, Nell.’ Judy sipped her tea, giving herself time to think.

‘Lizzie said that Madam was angry with you? Is that true, or did the silly girl get it wrong?’

‘She wasn’t angry. It was more of a warning. Mrs Tattersall thinks there is something going on between Master Jack and myself.’

Nell leaned her elbows on the table, giving Judy a searching look. ‘And is there?’

‘I’m fond of him, of course. We were friends when we were younger, but I know my place, Nell. He isn’t for me.’

‘But does he know that, love? I’ve known you both since you were nippers, and there was always something special between you two.’

‘Maybe, but it has to end now and I’ve told him so.’

‘Unless he’s changed while he’s been at university, the Jack Fox I know will do as he pleases, and the devil take the hindmost.’

‘I know,’ Judy said with a reluctant smile. ‘That’s why I think I should go away from here.’

‘Oh, no, dear. Surely you don’t have to run away? Master Jack might not remain at home for very long. He’s young and he’ll want to see a bit of the world before he settles down.’

‘I suppose so,’ Judy said doubtfully. ‘Don’t tell anyone what I’ve just said, Nell. I’m only thinking about leaving here if things become too difficult.’

‘Then let’s hope the young master listens to you, dear. Because, if he does, it will be the first time in his life he’s taken notice of anything anyone’s said to him.’

Later that evening, when Judy had finished work for the day, she set off through the park, heading towards the cottage that had been her home for the last ten years. It had been a squash in the old days when she had had to share a room with her mother and Molly, but now Molly lived in at Colneyhurst Hall, and the boys had accommodation above the stables. For the first time in her life Judy had a room of her own, but that in itself was a source of worry. If she left Little Creek it would mean that her mother had to live alone, and although Hilda was perfectly capable of coping with her disability, it was always in the back of Judy’s mind that Ma might take a tumble and lie helpless until someone missed her at the big house. She knew that her mother would laugh if she brought up the subject, and she would tell her not to be so silly, but still it was a concern, and one that bothered Judy.

The evenings were drawing out and the air was sweet and fresh with the scents of spring. It was a time of year that Judy had always loved, when everything was coming back to life after a long hard winter. She was listening to the birdsong and inhaling the scent of bluebells from the nearby woods, when she heard footsteps behind her and she came to a halt outside the cottage gate. She turned her head, although she knew instinctively who was following her.

‘Judy, I must talk to you.’ Jack was at her side in two long strides.

‘There’s nothing to say. Your mother made it very plain that you will look higher for a wife than a mere servant, and I know she’s right.’

‘I don’t care what she says. I want to be with you always, Judy. I want us to be as we were last summer.’

She smiled, lifting her hand to touch his cheek. ‘We were playing a game then. It wasn’t real, Jack.’

He grabbed her hand and held it. ‘I was serious.’

‘There’s no future for us.’

‘You don’t believe that and neither do I.’

‘What do you want from me, Jack?’

He hesitated, frowning. ‘What do you mean?’

‘That’s my point,’ Judy said sadly. ‘You want me to continue to be the companion I was when we were younger, with a little flirtation for added spice, with the prospect of marriage in the distant future. Well, it won’t work. I have feelings, too. I can’t turn them on and off to suit you.’

‘I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, Judy. You know that.’

‘Not deliberately,’ she said, sighing. ‘But you go your own way, and you always have. One day you’ll have to face the fact that you’re responsible for all this, and you’ll need a wife who was born and bred to the life of the squire’s lady, and preferably one with a generous dowry.’

‘This is ridiculous. I haven’t even considered marriage to an heiress. I need you, Judy. You’re part of all this.’ Jack encompassed the estate with a sweep of his arms. ‘You’re part of everything that’s good – you’re part of me.’

‘You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said.’ Judy shivered as a cold wind whipped in from the east. ‘It’s getting late and I’ve had a long day. I’ll see you in the morning.’

‘I do care about you,’ Jack said angrily. ‘I’m not playing games.’

Judy stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. ‘Good night, Jack.’ The gate creaked on rusty hinges as she opened it and closed it behind her. She walked resolutely up the path and let herself into the cottage, but she did not look back. If she did, and saw Jack looking like a despondent schoolboy, she knew she would weaken. She had always been the first to give in after a quarrel, but not this time. She slammed the front door and leaned against it, closing her eyes in an attempt to blot out the vision of Jack’s bewildered expression.

‘Is that you, Judy?’

The sound of her mother’s voice brought Judy back to her senses and she hurried into the kitchen. ‘Yes, Ma.’

‘I wasn’t expecting you until later.’

‘I’d done everything that needed doing, so I decided to finish early.’

‘I’ve saved you some supper, Judy.’

‘Thanks, but I’m not hungry.’ The moment the words left her lips, Judy knew she had made a tactical error. Her mother’s eyebrows shot up and her smile faded into a worried frown.

‘Are you sickening for something? I’d better make you up a tonic.’

‘No, thank you. I’m just tired, but I’ll be fine in the morning.’ Judy gave her mother a hug. ‘I love you, Ma. Good night.’

For the next few days Judy was kept busy. Ida Ralston was still in charge of the household, but she had allowed Judy to take over some of her duties, which included organising the linen cupboard and making sure that the servants’ uniforms were laundered and kept in pristine order. It was a peaceful task and Judy was painstaking in her attempts to list each and every item, and to ensure that mending was sent to the sewing room, where sheets were turned sides to middle if they had worn thin, and any garment that was torn was either darned or patched, as necessary. Mrs Ralston clearly intended that Judy would take over from her when she retired, but Judy was having ever more serious doubts as to her position in the house. Her relationship with Jack had been doomed from the start, even though it had begun innocently a year ago, but they were adults now and Jack seemed to think that they could simply carry on as before. Judy had managed to avoid him so far, and he had been kept busy with the constant flow of family visitors. His sister Dove, who was married to Dr Neville, brought her three children, two rowdy boys and her much quieter four-year-old daughter, to see their uncle. His other sister, Linnet, and her husband, Elliot Massey, the village schoolmaster, arrived with their eight-year-old son and their newborn baby girl, but Judy kept herself to herself and avoided close contact with the family.

It was late afternoon, a week after Jack’s return home, and Judy was on her way to the sewing room with a pile of mending. Having climbed the stairs from the basement, she decided to take a shortcut through the great hall in order to use the servants’ staircase on the far side of the house. It had been a particularly quiet day and there was no one about, not even James. Mrs Tattersall and Jack had left soon after breakfast when Fuller brought the carriage to the front entrance, and they set off for Colneyhurst to celebrate Daisy’s eldest son’s eighth birthday. They were not expected back until late evening, and with no family meals to prepare there had been a holiday atmosphere in the kitchen and servants’ hall. Judy suspected that James had taken the opportunity to visit his current ladylove, who worked in the laundry room, and she smiled to herself. Tall and good-looking, and well aware of his physical attributes, James was a heartbreaker. Mrs Ralston warned each new female servant from the outset, but few of them took notice, and it never ended happily. Judy was of the opinion that it was James who ought to be sacked, but he was very clever at talking himself out of a difficult situation, and Mrs Tattersall was not immune to his charm.

Judy crossed the hall but the sound of horses’ hoofs on the drive made her run to the window and she saw the carriage come to a halt outside. With her arms full of linen and no sign of the footman, she was at a loss until Molesworth appeared suddenly at her side.

‘Put that down and be ready to take Madam’s cape and bonnet. I’ll have words with James when I find the lazy layabout.’ Molesworth went to open the door and Judy placed the linen on a nearby chair.

Mary Tattersall was first to enter and she was clearly upset. She allowed Judy to take her outdoor things without seeming to notice that her footman and housemaid were not on duty.

‘Poor little Timmy has gone down with chickenpox. We stayed long enough to cut the birthday cake, but the boys were all out of sorts, so I decided it would be best if we came home.’ Mary shrugged off her cape and handed it to Judy. ‘You must tell Cook that there are two for dinner this evening, Judy. I’m going to the drawing room for a rest. It’s been a very trying day.’

‘Yes, madam.’ Judy was about to do as she was asked when Jack strode into the hall.

‘Judy. Where’ve you been hiding? I’ve been looking for you.’

She glanced anxiously at Molesworth, but he was otherwise occupied. ‘You’ve been busy, sir.’

Jack caught her by the arm. ‘Stop calling me “sir”. I won’t allow this offhand treatment to continue a minute longer. Put my mother’s things down and come into the morning parlour. We’ll sort this out for once and all.’

‘Really, Jack! Why won’t you listen to me?’ Judy protested as he closed the parlour door with unnecessary force.

‘Because you’re talking nonsense. I refuse to allow my mother to rule my life. I need you and I always have. We’re cut from the same cloth, Judy.’

She shook her head. ‘Oh, Jack! You know that’s not true. You’ve managed without me all the time you were at boarding school and university, and I doubt if you missed me at all.’

He grasped both her hands. ‘That’s not true. Your letters brightened up the most miserable days when I was first sent away and homesick, even if you can’t spell.’

‘That’s not fair. I was just a child,’ she said, chuckling. Jack always had the power to make her laugh, and it weakened her defences.

‘That’s better. That’s the Judy I know and love.’

She met his gaze with a startled gasp. ‘You’re fond of me. It’s not love.’

‘How do you know? Can you read my mind?’

‘I used to, especially when you were planning some mischief with Alfie and Danny.’

‘Don’t push me away. I can’t stand it.’

‘Your mother won’t allow us to be together in any way, friends or not. If I get the sack my mother will lose her cottage, and the boys will have to leave, too. I can’t put their future in jeopardy. You must understand that.’

Jack gazed into her eyes, and then he pulled her roughly into his arms and kissed her long and hard on the lips. ‘What’s your answer now, Judy? I’m not joking. I want you with me always.’

Chapter Two

Judy moved away, giving herself time to think. The embrace had left her shaken, but wanting more, and that was even more disturbing.

‘Answer me, please.’ There was a note of desperation in Jack’s voice, quite alien to his normal tone.

‘I don’t know what you want of me.’ Judy met his intense gaze with a searching look.

‘What is there to know, other than the fact that we were always together. I want that to continue. I’m not the type of man to be lord of the manor, any more than my brother, Jay. I won’t renege on my responsibilities, but I need you to help me through all this.’

‘Are you asking me to marry you?’

‘Marriage? Of course I want that, but not just now. In a few years, maybe.’

‘Oh, Jack. You know that’s not good enough. I don’t want you to feel obliged to do anything. You either want us to be together always, or you don’t.’

‘That’s exactly what I’m saying. I want you here with me.’

Judy shook her head. ‘It wouldn’t work. Life isn’t a game of chance, Jack. You should listen to your mother. She has plenty to say on the subject, and I hate to admit it, but I think she’s right.’

‘What does my mother know about how I feel?’ Jack demanded angrily. ‘She has no right to interfere.’

‘She loves you,’ Judy said simply. ‘From what I was told, your mother suffered greatly at the hands of the old squire, and her marriage to your father wasn’t a particularly happy one.’

‘That has nothing to do with us. I want things to be as they were.’

‘That’s not possible, and you know it.’

‘I’m not asking anything of you other than to be here for me. I need you to keep me from doing stupid things, and I want to hear you laugh again.’

He looked so downcast that Judy was deeply touched and she moved closer, taking his hands in a warm grasp. ‘You were always impatient.’

Jack drew her closer, but the door flew open and Hilda burst into the room. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Nothing,’ Judy said firmly. ‘We were just talking.’

‘Your mother wants a word with you, Master Jack.’

‘Stop calling me that,’ Jack said crossly. ‘It makes me sound like a ten-year-old. Who told you we were in here, anyway?’

‘It was Molesworth, if you must know. I was sent to fetch you and that’s what I’m doing.’ Hilda gave Judy a warning look. ‘We’ll talk about this later, my girl.’

‘We’ve done nothing wrong,’ Judy said tiredly.

Hilda turned to Jack and he held up his hands. ‘All right, Hilda. I’ll go and placate my mother, but only if you promise to leave Judy alone. This was my fault, not hers.’

Hilda opened her mouth to answer, but Judy laid her hand on her mother’s arm. ‘No, Ma. That’s enough.’ She sent Jack a warning glance and with obvious reluctance he left the room.

‘You’ll find yourself in trouble if you go on this way,’ Hilda said warily. ‘I don’t want to interfere, Judy, but someone must tell you how things are.’

‘What are you trying to say, Ma?’

‘Remember what happened to Mary at the hands of the old squire,’ Hilda said darkly. ‘Times haven’t changed that much. Jack is a man now, with a man’s needs, and you are a servant in his house. Do you understand?’

‘I think you insult both of us.’ Judy walked to the door and opened it. ‘I have things to do, but you can tell Mrs Tattersall that she need not worry about us. I won’t fall into the same trap that she did.’

Her mother’s words echoed in Judy’s head as she went about her daily tasks, and when she went to bed that night she found it impossible to sleep. Eventually, having tossed and turned for more than an hour, she went downstairs to make herself a cup of cocoa, using the remaining heat from the range to warm a pan of milk. As she sat at the kitchen table, sipping the comforting drink, Judy came to the inevitable conclusion: the time had come for her to leave Creek Manor. It would break her heart to be parted from all those she loved, especially Jack, but she could see no future for herself if she stayed at the manor house. It had been different when Jack was away at university, and she had looked forward eagerly to his return at the end of each term, but he had come home to take up his responsibilities as lord of the manor, he was now at home for good and the relationship he wanted would prove difficult, if not impossible.

Judy finished the cocoa and washed the cup and saucer before returning to her room. Her thoughts had clarified and she knew now what she must do.

At first light Judy was on the road to Colneyhurst and in less than an hour she was seated in the breakfast parlour, drinking coffee with Daisy, who was still wearing a silk wrapper over her lacy nightgown.

‘So you see my problem,’ Judy said, sighing. ‘I love Jack, and I suppose I always have. I think he loves me, but there’s no question of marriage and I don’t trust myself to stay strong, if you know what I mean.’

Daisy nodded and her dark curls flopped over her brow, only to be brushed away with an impatient hand. ‘Of course I do. I think anyone who has ever been in love would understand, but I’m sure Jack wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.’

‘Not intentionally, but his mother wants him to marry someone much more suitable than I. No matter how much Jack pretends it’s of no matter, he is the lord of the manor in his brother’s absence.’

‘If you’re worried that Jack is like his half-brother, then don’t be. Jay takes after the old squire and Jack’s father was a good man at heart, even if he was a bully. Jack wouldn’t chase after other women if you and he were to wed.’

‘He doesn’t want to commit himself to something so permanent, but if I stay at Creek Manor under his terms I would be living on a knife edge. Mrs Tattersall would sack me instantly if she discovered we were having a secret liaison.’

Daisy was silent for a moment as if considering the situation. ‘Then you have no alternative,’ she said slowly. ‘I think you’re right, Judy. You need to go away for a while. It will give you both time to think.’

‘I was wondering if your brother, Dr Marshall, might need a servant,’ Judy said hopefully. ‘He was always so nice to me whenever I saw him, and so was his wife.’

‘Minnie is the kindest person I know, and with boisterous five-year-old twins she might very well need help.’ Daisy frowned thoughtfully. ‘I tell you what, Judy. I’ll write a letter to my brother and sister-in-law, and even if they don’t need anyone, I’m sure they will help you find a suitable position. It’s not as if you are a stranger to London. You were born there, after all.’

‘And I lived there until I was nine,’ Judy added, smiling ruefully. ‘Although I wouldn’t want to go back to Green Dragon Yard.’

‘There’s no question of that. I have a much better idea. I’ll send a telegram to say that you’re coming, and I’ll write a note to Minnie, asking her to help you to find accommodation in London.’ Daisy rose from her seat and went over to the sideboard where she took pen and paper from one of the drawers. She sat back at the table and began to write, while Judy sipped her coffee, feeling more positive than she had done since Jack’s return home. She knew now what she must do, even though leaving Creek Manor and those she loved would break her heart.

Sidney Square was close to the London Hospital and not far from Mrs Wood’s boarding house in Fieldgate Street. Daisy had told her amusing stories of the time she lodged there, although these were not uppermost in Judy’s mind as she stepped down from the hansom cab outside the Marshalls’ residence. She paid the cabby, picked up her carpet bag and crossed the pavement to knock on the door.

It was opened by a young maidservant, who stared at her blankly.

‘Mrs Marshall is expecting me,’ Judy said firmly.

The maid, who could not have been a day older than twelve, blinked, nodded and closed the door. Judy was left standing on the step, not knowing whether to knock again or to wait, but a couple of minutes later the door opened and Minnie Marshall greeted her with a smile.

‘Come in, Judy. I’m sorry about that, but you’ll have to forgive Sukey as she’s only been with us for a few days.’ Minnie stepped aside and ushered Judy into the narrow hallway. ‘Come into the parlour and Sukey will bring us some refreshments. That’s if she doesn’t trip over the mat and drop the tray as she did earlier this morning.’

Judy placed her bag at the foot of the stairs, not knowing what else to do. The house was much smaller than she had imagined it to be, and she could hear children’s voice coming from a room upstairs, followed by the deeper tones of their nanny.

‘I hope I’m not inconveniencing you, Mrs Marshall,’ Judy said anxiously.

‘Not at all, my dear.’ Minnie opened a door to her right and led the way into a small, but well-proportioned living room, which was furnished for comfort rather than elegance. Minnie sat down in a chair by the empty hearth, motioning Judy to follow suit. ‘Daisy’s telegram said you would be arriving today, and that you needed help to find a suitable position in London.’

Judy retrieved a wooden doll from the chair before taking a seat. She clutched it in her hands, holding on to it like a good luck charm. ‘I’m afraid it was very short notice, but I had to get away. It was a rather difficult situation. Mrs Walters has written you a note.’ Judy put the doll down and took the sealed letter from her reticule. She handed it to Minnie, who opened it and studied it intently.

‘I understand, Judy. I expect we’ve all experienced times like that at one point or another in our lives. Would this have anything to do with Jack’s return from university?’

Judy stared at her open-mouthed. ‘How did you know that?’

‘I didn’t, but from the urgency of your departure I guessed it must be something of the sort, and it was always obvious that you two were close. Anyone could see that, even when you were just children.’

‘I suppose I should have stayed where I was, but I couldn’t make him understand my position.’

Minnie smiled and nodded. ‘He’s a man, my dear. They believe what they want to believe, and I suppose Jack wants to keep his freedom, but he needs you to be there for him every step of the way.’

‘Yes, that’s about it, Mrs Marshall. I had to come away or who knows what might have happened? Jack is master of the house now, and I’m just a servant, or rather I was.’

‘And you didn’t tell him you were leaving?’

‘I couldn’t,’ Judy said simply. ‘He would have persuaded me to stay.’

‘Then I think you did the right thing, and I would mploy you if it were possible, but, as you can see, this is a very small house. We’ll be moving to a much larger residence in the near future, but that doesn’t help you now.’

‘I was just hoping you might know of someone who would employ me. I can cook and Mrs Ralston has taught me household management. I’m honest and hard working.’

‘I know all that, Judy. Mrs Tattersall was always singing your praises when we visited the manor house.’ Minnie jumped to her feet at the sound of crockery rattling together in the hallway. She wrenched the door open in time to rescue the tea tray as Sukey tripped over her feet and stumbled. ‘Thank you, Sukey. That will be all for now.’

Sukey gazed up at her with red-rimmed eyes. ‘You won’t tell Cook, will you, miss?’

‘It’s “madam” or “Mrs Marshall”, Sukey. I won’t say a word.’

‘Ta, ever so, miss. I mean, madam.’ Sukey scuttled off towards the back stairs and Minnie closed the door before placing the tray on a table in the window. ‘If only you’d arrived two weeks ago I could have taken you on with pleasure, but I haven’t the heart to send young Sukey back to the orphanage.’

‘No, of course not,’ Judy said earnestly. ‘I wouldn’t want that either.’

Minnie poured the tea and handed a cup to Judy. ‘Would you like a slice of cake?’

‘Thank you, Mrs Marshall.’

‘What will you do now? I’m afraid I don’t know of anyone looking for servants at the present.’

‘Daisy – I mean, Mrs Walters – gave me the address of the boarding house where you both lived when you were younger. I thought I might try there.’

‘Did she also tell you that Mrs Wood is a tyrant and that her daughter, Gladys, is a spiteful cat? Although I believe she is married now and lives above the saddler’s shop in Whitechapel, which oddly enough was where my husband and Daisy grew up. Gladys married the man who took over from Mr Marshall senior.’

‘Would that be Jonah Sawkins?’ Judy accepted a large slice of chocolate cake, and bit into it hungrily.

‘Yes. How did you know that?’

‘Daisy used to tell us stories about her time in London when Molly and I were much younger.’

‘Well, yes. Jonah was always hanging around Daisy, no matter how many times she snubbed him. Our friend Ivy, who later married Clem Guppy, went out with Jonah until she realised what sort of man he was, but Gladys didn’t seem to see his faults. They say that love is blind.’ Minnie helped herself to cake and returned to her seat. ‘On a more practical level, Judy, have you got enough money to support yourself until you find a suitable position?’

Judy nodded, chewed and swallowed, licking the delicious crumbs from her lips. ‘Yes, I have. Mrs Tattersall was very generous. She gave me enough money to pay rent for a week or two, if I choose somewhere cheap. I think she was glad to see the back of me.’

‘I’m sure that’s not true, but I expect she was concerned. She might have been afraid that Jack would take after Jay, who, like his namesake, flew away, or should I say he sailed away to the Antipodes? Anyway, I’m sure that Jack isn’t like his brother in that respect.’

‘No, he isn’t,’ Judy said firmly. ‘Jack is an excellent person and I …’ she hesitated, ‘I am truly fond of him, but he needs to marry a well-bred lady with a sizeable dowry.’

‘I don’t think those are your words, Judy. It sounds more like Mary Tattersall speaking.’ Minnie leaned forward, lowering her voice. ‘Let me tell you that what Jack wants, and what his mother wants for him are almost certainly two different things. Do you understand me?’

Judy’s throat ached with unshed tears. Minnie’s kindness was disarming, and she obviously understood. It was a relief, and yet it made the pain in Judy’s heart even more acute. She inclined her head. ‘Yes, ma’am.’

Minnie leaned over to pat Judy’s hand. ‘I’ll come with you to Fieldgate Street and introduce you to Mrs Wood as a prospective tenant. I wouldn’t want you to work for her, but if you stay there it’s reasonably cheap and quite central, and you can look for a position elsewhere. What do you say?’

‘Thank you. I’d be very grateful.’

Minnie pulled a face. ‘I can’t say that she runs the best lodging house in the East End, but at least it’s clean and respectable. You’ll be safe there.’

‘Thank you, Mrs Marshall.’ Judy tried to smile, but she felt as though she was about to jump off the top of a cliff into the swirling sea of the unknown. London seemed so much bigger, noisier and dirtier than she remembered, and Little Creek was a haven of peace and tranquillity in comparison. Her first instinct was to rush back to the station and catch the next train home, but she knew that she must be strong and face whatever the city had in store for her.

Minnie rose to her feet. ‘I’ll go and fetch my bonnet and shawl and we’ll set off.’

The maid who let them into the house ushered them into Mrs Wood’s parlour.

‘Thank you, Aggie,’ Minnie said, smiling.

The maid bobbed a curtsey and backed out of the room. Judy eyed Mrs Wood warily – her first impressions were not favourable. Years of bullying servants and lodgers alike had left a network of lines on Mrs Wood’s face. Twin furrows between her brows gave her a permanent frown and her mouth was dragged down at the corners, stamping an expression of disapproval on her face, which lingered even as she attempted to smile.

‘Mrs Marshall, how nice to see you again.’

‘And you, Mrs Wood. You’re looking well.’

‘I might look good, my dear, but my rheumatics play me up something awful, particularly in winter. A life of hard work and service to others has told on my poor aching body.’

Judy shot a sideways glance at Minnie, who remained outwardly calm and smiling.

‘Your lodging house has always been deemed one of the best, Mrs Wood,’ Minnie said with a persuasive smile. ‘And for that reason I’ve brought my friend Miss Begg to see you. She’s in need of accommodation while she looks for work.’

Mrs Wood looked Judy up and down with a critical eye. ‘And what line of work is that, may I ask?’

‘I’m trained in all household matters,’ Judy said with a determined lift of her chin. ‘I was assistant housekeeper in my last position.’

‘So you’re looking for a job in service?’

Judy nodded. ‘Yes, ma’am.’

‘Might I ask why you left your previous employer?’ Mrs Wood’s eyes narrowed and her lips tightened. ‘I have to ask these questions, you must understand. I can’t afford to take in tenants who have left under a cloud, if you get my meaning.’

‘I can vouch for Miss Begg,’ Minnie said firmly. ‘I’ve known her since she was a child, and she is above reproach.’

‘It so happens that I have a small attic room vacant at the moment, but I want a week’s rent in advance.’

‘I’ll take it.’ Judy opened her reticule and took out her purse. ‘I’d like to move in right away.’

‘Like that, is it?’ Mrs Wood held out her hand. ‘Two and tuppence, but if you want meals it’s ninepence a day.’

Judy counted out two shillings and two pennies and laid them in Mrs Wood’s palm. ‘I’m not sure about meals, ma’am.’

Minnie laid her hand on Judy’s arm. ‘You must dine with us tonight, dear. I want to catch up on all the news from home.’ She turned to Mrs Wood. ‘I seem to remember that we used to have a choice of dining in or out, depending upon the demands of the workplace.’

‘Of course.’ Mrs Wood rang the bell on her desk. ‘Aggie will show you to your room. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Mrs Marshall, I have work to do.’

Minnie was about to answer when Aggie burst into the parlour so precipitously that it seemed to Judy that the maidservant must have been listening at the keyhole.

‘Show Miss Begg to the gable-end room, Aggie.’

‘Yes’m.’ Aggie held the door open for Minnie and Judy, closing it after them. ‘Follow me, if you please.’

Minnie came to a halt at the foot of the stairs. ‘I’ll wait here, Judy. I know what the rooms are like, and I don’t suppose they’ve changed much since I was last here.’

Judy followed the maid up three flights of stairs, which grew steeper and narrower as they reached the top floor. A narrow landing led between the attic rooms, one of which Aggie pointed out as being where she slept, and the furthest and biggest was Cook’s domain. Two of the smaller rooms were filled with discarded or broken furniture and items that might be of use if kept for long enough. The third was quite literally under the eaves, with a small dormer window throwing light on the bare floorboards, and a narrow iron bedstead set against one wall. There was a deal chest of drawers, a wooden chair and a washstand, complete with a jug and basin, both of which were slightly chipped. A candle stub in a chamber candlestick and a box of matches must have been left by the previous occupant, and the lingering smell of body odour remained like a ghost of the same person. As the jug was empty and the basin covered in a thin layer of dust, Judy supposed that the last woman to rent the room had not bothered to trail down to the kitchen to fetch water for washing. She could tell from Aggie’s tight-lipped expression that she was not prepared to wait on the lodgers.

‘I comes up here once a month to change the bedding,’ Aggie said as if reading Judy’s mind. ‘And I don’t drag up here with jugs of water, nor do I empty the chamber pot. You have to bring that downstairs yourself. You have to keep the room clean, unless you’re willing to pay extra, in which case you deal with me direct. D’you understand?’

‘Perfectly.’ Judy made for the door. ‘I’ve seen enough, thank you.’ She turned to Aggie as she was about to leave the room. ‘There’s no key.’

‘We don’t lock doors in this establishment. Mrs Wood is the only one who has a key, but take a tip from me and don’t leave anything valuable lying around. Things have a habit of disappearing.’ Aggie brushed past her and headed for the stairs. ‘You’ll soon learn,’ she added darkly.

Judy followed her downstairs. It was impossible not to feel downhearted and depressed by her new surroundings, but at least she had a roof over her head for the foreseeable future, and it was up to her to make the best of things. She was, after all, a born Londoner, and she would have to call upon the lessons she had learned when very young to cope with life in the metropolis. Even so, Judy had a sudden longing for the sweet scent of fresh air, and the tang of the saltwater from the marshes, untainted by city smells. Even in Sidney Square, with the neat garden at its heart, she had missed the sound of birdsong. The pigeons cooed and the sparrows hopped around chirruping incessantly, but there were no song thrushes or skylarks to fill the sooty air with their musical warbling.

‘Don’t tell me.’ Minnie looked up as Judy descended the last flight of stairs. ‘I’ve only been up there once, but I doubt if it’s changed.’

‘It will be fine,’ Judy said bravely. ‘I’ve seen worse, and it’s temporary. I’m sure I’ll find something soon.’

‘I do hope so, for your sake. Come with me now and Toby will see you back here after dinner tonight. By the way,’ Minnie added when they stepped outside onto the pavement, ‘if you want your bedding changed or if you need clean towels, you’ll get what you need much faster if you tip Aggie. It’s always been that way, I’m afraid.’

‘What happens if I do it myself? I’m used to managing the linen cupboard as well as making beds.’

‘I wouldn’t advise it, my dear. Servants can make your life a misery if they choose to do so, and you won’t get any support from Mrs Wood. She doesn’t care what goes on as long as she gets her money each week. Anyway, don’t dwell on that. I’m sure you’ll find a suitable position soon. Maybe my husband knows of someone looking for a trustworthy servant.’ Minnie linked arms with Judy as they set off in the direction of Sidney Square. ‘Might you even consider returning to Creek Manor, Judy? Perhaps your absence will shake Jack out of his complacent attitude.’

‘If he really cared he would have followed me,’ Judy said sadly. ‘He thinks I’ll weaken and go home, but that’s not going to happen. I am stronger than he imagines and I won’t give up so easily.’

That night in her chilly attic room, Judy tossed and turned on the lumpy mattress. It was obvious that Aggie had not changed the bedding, as the last occupant’s odour was imprinted on the cotton sheets and pillowcases. The rustlings beneath the eaves might have been nesting sparrows, but more likely they were rats and mice, and Cook’s snoring echoed down the narrowing landing. The sounds from the street filtered up to the top of the house. The rumble of wooden wheels on cobblestones, the clip-clop of horses’ hoofs, and the loud voices of drunks weaving their way back to their homes seemed to go on for hours. Judy longed for the comfort of her bed in the cottage, and the silence of the country, interrupted only by a distant bark of a dog fox or the hoot of a barn owl. Her pillow was wet with tears as she drifted off to sleep eventually, worn out by the events of the day and crippling homesickness.

She awakened next morning wondering why her whole body was aching, and for a moment she could not think where she was. Then the reality of her situation hit her with the force of a physical blow. But giving way to despair was not in her nature, and she was even more determined to prove that she could make a life for herself away from home. She dressed quickly and made her way downstairs, carrying the chamber pot very carefully, with the ewer tucked under one arm. The pump and the privy were situated in the back yard, and as it was still early Judy had the facilities to herself. She used the privy and washed in ice-cold water, sticking her head under the pump to rinse the dust and soot from her hair, wringing out her long locks and tying them back with a ribbon.

On her way back to her room with the clean chamber pot and the ewer filled with fresh water, Judy almost bumped into Aggie. A few coins changed hands and Aggie unlocked the linen cupboard, giving Judy a towel, but she stood back when she was asked for clean bedlinen. More coins landed on Aggie’s outstretched palm, and somewhat reluctantly she gave Judy two sheets and a clean pillowcase. With these hitched over her shoulder and a much lighter purse, Judy made her way back to her room.

The smell of hot toast and coffee wafted up the stairs, making Judy’s stomach rumble with hunger. It was many hours since she had enjoyed the delicious dinner in Sidney Square, but now she must face the real world, and that meant a choice between handing out yet more money for breakfast at the lodging house, and going without food until the evening. She had not yet worked out where or what she would eat, but she vaguely remembered stalls selling coffee and tea, baked potatoes and rolls filled with ham or cheese.

‘Ah, Miss Begg. I see you’re dressed and ready for the off.’ Mrs Wood appeared suddenly at her side. ‘It’s not good to go without breakfast, which is still being served in the dining room.’

‘Thank you, Mrs Wood, but I’m not hungry. I need to find work and that’s what I’m about to do.’

‘Oh, well, I suppose you know best, but this evening there’s Cook’s speciality for dinner. Boiled beef and carrots. I urge you to take advantage of our meals, Miss Begg. You won’t find such delicacies at such a good price anywhere else in London.’

‘Thank you, ma’am. I’ll think about it.’ Judy made her escape and rushed out into the street. She stood on the pavement, looking this way and that, but she had no idea which direction to take. Jack would have tossed a coin – the memory of him brought a smile to her lips and a lump to her throat. ‘Follow your nose,’ her mother would have said. Judy turned to the left and walked to the end of Fieldgate Street, finding herself in the busy thoroughfare of Whitechapel Road. Slowly memories of childhood began to emerge and she recognised places she had frequented. The street was chaotic with horse-drawn traffic of all types from omnibuses to brewers’ drays, removal carts, hansom cabs and growlers. It all came flooding back now: the dreadful poverty of Green Dragon Yard and, despite her parents’ best efforts, the hand-to-mouth existence they had endured before the accident that had changed their lives for ever.

A wave of nausea made her gasp and suddenly the world seemed to spin around her in concentric circles. Judy clutched at nothing but thin air and felt herself falling …

Chapter Three

‘Oy! Look where you’re going, you silly mare.’

The irate voice brought Judy back from the realms of semi-consciousness and she realised that she was clinging to a woman’s arm.

‘I’m so sorry. I felt a bit faint.’

‘Probably drunk,’ the woman’s partner said angrily. ‘At this time in the morning, too. Shame on you, miss.’

Judy staggered to the nearest shopfront and leaned against the door. Was everyone in London rude and mean? If that had occurred in Little Creek, someone would have helped her and taken her into their home. She would have been offered tea and something to eat, even if they had very little themselves. The hunger pangs were another reminder of her childhood. She had roamed these streets looking for farthings or halfpennies that might have been dropped by more affluent people, and she had snatched up bruised fruit that had fallen off costermongers’ barrows to take home for Molly and the boys. Those days were far behind her now, but an empty stomach felt the same whatever her age.

The scent of hot tea and coffee floated past on a gentle breeze, blotting out the less pleasant smells of the city, and as her mother had always said, Judy followed her nose. The stall was set up in a narrow alleyway and she bought a ham roll and a mug of coffee laced with sugar. The vendor had taken pity on her and had given her a broken biscuit as well, and she gobbled the food in a way that would have earned her a sharp rebuke from her mother or from Cook at Creek Manor, but she was too hungry to care. The hot, sweet coffee went down well and she handed the empty mug back and thanked the stallholder for his generosity.

‘You’re welcome, miss,’ he said, grinning. ‘You was half-starved by the look of you.’

She smiled. ‘I used to live near here, but I’ve been away in the country for a long time.’

‘Looking for work, are you, love?’

‘Yes, how did you guess?’

‘I see many like you every day. Folk come up from the country thinking that the streets are paved with gold, like in the storybook, but they ain’t. You ought to go back to the country and settle for what you had, miss.’

‘I do need work, but I don’t know how to set about it.’

‘You could look in shop windows. Sometimes people put cards in, advertising vacancies, but you need to be careful what you go for. Or you could look in the posh newspaper.’ He leaned over and picked up a tattered copy of The Times that someone had carelessly discarded. ‘Take a look in the “Situations Vacant” column. You seem like a well-spoken young lady. Maybe you’ll find something there.’

‘Thank you,’ Judy said eagerly. ‘I’ll read it and return it to you.’

He chuckled. ‘Don’t bother, love. I never learned to read proper. I can write me name, and that’s about it. You keep it and good luck to you.’

Judy folded the newspaper and tucked it under her arm. She remembered the churchyard of St Mary Matfelon, where she used to play hide-and-seek with Molly, although at seven years old, Molly had always given herself away by giggling, and it was there that Judy headed. At least it was quiet and peaceful in the graveyard. She sat down on a low wall to read the advertisements in The Times, but there was nothing remotely suitable, so she resumed her walk, gazing in shop windows to see if there was anything for her.

At the end of the afternoon Judy had walked so far that her heels were blistered and sore, and her limbs ached so that each step was torture. She managed to get back to Fieldgate Street, but she had not eaten since the ham roll and coffee that morning, and she was ravenous. Aggie let her in, but as luck would have it Judy almost cannoned into Mrs Wood at the foot of the stairs.

‘Well, you look as if you’ve had a hard day, Miss Begg.’ Mrs Wood did not sound sympathetic. ‘It’s not as easy as you would think, is it?’

‘No, ma’am.’ Judy was not in the mood to argue.

‘Do I take it that you will be having your evening meal in the dining room?’

‘Thank you.’ Judy was tempted to refuse, but she was too tired to go out again, and it had started to rain. ‘I will.’

‘Excellent.’ Mrs Wood beamed at her. ‘I’ll put it on your bill. I expect payment first thing each Saturday morning.’

‘But I’ve already given you a week in advance.’

‘That will be returned to you when you leave this establishment. I have to do that, Miss Begg. You’d be surprised how many people are prepared to walk away without settling their debts.’

Judy nodded. There was no point in protesting and she started up the staircase, holding on to the banister rail.

‘Dinner is at half past six on the dot,’ Mrs Wood called after her. ‘Latecomers do not get served. I have to have rules or people would take advantage of my good nature.’

‘I’ll be on time,’ Judy said wearily as she trudged up the stairs, heading towards the cheerless room that was now her home.

At six thirty on the dot, Judy walked into the dining room. She had kept her bedroom door ajar in order to listen for the booming strikes of the grandfather clock in the hall indicating the passing hours, and the chimes that announced the quarters. The other diners were already seated at a table in the centre of the room, except for two much older women who shared a small table in the window. Judy hesitated, not wanting to take anyone’s place.

A thin woman in her thirties patted the empty chair beside her. ‘This one’s free, love. Miss Wentworth left yesterday and she won’t be coming back. I’m Phyllis Dean, by the way.’

Judy smiled. ‘Judy Begg.’

‘Wentworth is the lucky one. She’s found a man to marry her.’ A younger woman with mousy hair and freckles gave Judy a weak smile. ‘I’m Mabel Field. You’re new here, Judy.’

‘I arrived yesterday.’ Judy sat down beside Phyllis. ‘I’m looking for work.’

‘It’s not easy to find a job where the boss doesn’t expect you to stay after hours, if you get my meaning.’ A strikingly pretty girl snatched up a bread roll and tore it into small pieces, shoving them into her mouth one after the other. ‘I’m blooming starving. Where’s the damn food?’

‘Don’t take any notice of Fanny,’ Mabel said, giggling. ‘She don’t mean half of what she says.’

Before Fanny could respond, which would have been difficult anyway, considering the amount of bread she had stuffed into her mouth, the door opened and Aggie staggered in carrying a large tureen, which she placed in the centre of the table. She picked up a pile of soup bowls from the dresser and put them in front of Phyllis.

‘Help yourselves.’ Aggie left the room, slamming the door behind her.

Fanny chewed and swallowed the last mouthful of bread roll. ‘That person needs to learn some manners.’

‘Have a heart, Fanny.’ Mabel reached for a plate. ‘I wouldn’t like to work for Mrs Wood. I’m sure she bullies poor Aggie.’

‘Never mind her. I could eat the carpet I’m so damn hungry.’ Fanny elbowed her out of the way, grabbed a bowl and helped herself to the thick slices of boiled beef and chunks of carrot in a thin gravy. ‘I hope this tastes better than it smells. I think the ox died of shame.’

Phyllis stood up, filled two bowls and took them to the two older ladies, who were chatting to each other in low voices. ‘There you are ladies. Enjoy your meal.’ She returned to her seat. ‘Best help yourself, Judy. These gannets will devour the lot while you’re sitting there being polite.’ She passed a bowl to Judy before serving herself. ‘Take a roll before they all go, too.’

Judy concentrated on her food. It was not good, but at least it was edible and she was too hungry to be fussy. There was silence while everyone demolished their meal, and it seemed to Judy that she was not the only one who was starving.

Phyllis piled up the empty bowls and rang the bell for Aggie, who cleared the table and they had to wait until she returned with a treacle pudding and a jug of custard.

‘It’s not bad for ninepence,’ Phyllis said as she finished her portion. ‘I’ve tasted better, but at least it’s filling.’

‘Yes, I agree with that.’ Judy stared at the two older women. She lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘Who are those ladies, Phyllis? And why do they sit on their own?’

‘They’ve been residents here for years, and they’re quite nice when you get to know them, but they keep themselves to themselves, and that’s fine with me.’

‘Have you lived here long?’ Judy asked in a low voice.

Phyllis gave her a pitying look. ‘I’m thirty-five – well and truly on the shelf. What choice do I have?’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.’

Mabel stood up and stretched. ‘I reckon I’ll go for a walk. I can’t face a whole evening in that dreary front parlour. Are you coming, Phyllis?’

‘No, love. I’ve got a pile of books to mark. My pupils keep me so busy that I don’t have time to do it in school.’

‘Where do you teach?’ Judy’s interest was aroused. Maybe she could help in the school, if they were willing to pay her a wage.

‘It’s the ragged school in George Yard,’ Phyllis said, sighing. ‘Poor little devils, half of them turn up barefoot, even in the winter. If I can teach them to read and write and add up, I’m doing well, but most of them are put to work by their parents, if they have any. It’s time the Government stepped in and made education compulsory, at least for those under the age of ten. It’s heartbreaking to see little ones on the street selling matches or bootlaces.’

‘Or, even worse, ending up picking pockets,’ Mabel added, shaking her head. ‘I’ve seen mothers selling their little daughters to old men for their pleasure. You learn to be thankful for what you’ve got.’

Fanny pulled a face. ‘I’m tired of being grateful for everything. I want to marry a rich man who’ll pamper me and shower me with gifts, and I’ll never have to work in that bakery again.’

‘At least you get free cake,’ Mabel said, patting her flat belly. ‘I’d be fat as a pig if I was let loose amongst the pies and pastries.’

‘We get the sack if we so much as lick our fingers.’ Fanny tossed her head. ‘No chance of getting podgy when you work for old Sour Puss. Anyway, I’m meeting Ronnie in ten minutes so I’d better go upstairs and make myself presentable.’ She hurried from the room, leaving a waft of lavender cologne in her wake.

‘Let’s hope Ronnie comes up to scratch,’ Mabel said, pursing her lips. ‘Poor Fanny has been let down too many times in the past.’

‘She’ll bounce back; she always does.’ Phyllis headed for the door. ‘Must go and get those books marked. Good night, Judy. I’ll see you at breakfast.’

‘Maybe,’ Judy said doubtfully. The cost of the meals did not sound much if said quickly, but added up over a month it would come to a tidy sum, and unless she could find work she might be forced to return home.

‘It’s always hard at first, love.’ Mabel reached out to give Judy’s back a gentle pat.

She stood aside as the two older women made for the door. One of them gave Judy a nod, but her friend walked on without acknowledging either Judy or Mabel.

‘Don’t take no notice of them.’ Mabel shook her head, clicking her tongue against her teeth. ‘They don’t take kindly to strangers, but they’ll get used to you. It was the same for all of us.’

‘I thought I must have offended them.’

‘They were like that with me, but now I get the occasional smile. The poor old dears have been here for so long they think they own the place. Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a night shift at the hospital.’

‘Are you a nurse?’

Mabel threw her head back and laughed. ‘No, love. I clean the wards. I’ll look on the notice board and see if there are any jobs going. I suppose you don’t mind what you do.’

‘No, not really. I need to start earning money or I’ll be forced to go home.’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’

Judy found herself alone in the oak-panelled dining room, and she struggled with a sudden wave of homesickness and assailed by doubts as to the wisdom of running away. It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but she had not given a thought to the difficulties she might face, or the heartache she would suffer. This was the end of her second day away from Creek Manor and Jack had not come after her. If his feelings for her were genuine, surely he would have made the effort to travel up to London, if only to make sure that she was all right? She left the dreary dining room and made her way slowly up the stairs to her lonely bedchamber. Raindrops were running down the windowpanes like tears and there was a chill in the room that made her shiver. She lay down on the bed still fully dressed and pulled the thin coverlet up to her chin. Perhaps things would be better tomorrow. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

At the end of the first week Judy still had not found employment, although she had been for several interviews. However, she soon discovered that she was not the sort of person that middle-class wives considered suitable as live-in housemaids. When Judy said that she had been assistant housekeeper at Creek Manor it seemed that the shutters went down. One woman even admitted that she would not consider employing an attractive-looking housemaid, as it always caused trouble with other servants. Others thought that she was over-qualified for positions as lowly as scrub women, who came in daily to do the hard work in their houses. Shopkeepers thought that Judy spoke too much like a lady to serve customers, who might think that they were being mimicked. No matter what job Judy tried for there was always a reason for rejecting her. Even worse, she had not had a word from Jack. He had not written and her mother’s letter made no mention of him at all.

The final straw was the fact that her money was running out. She could not exist on one meal a day, and she had been forced to buy a second-hand pair of boots as hers were worn beyond repair. Her fellow sufferers at the hands of Mrs Wood, whose strict rules governed every waking moment they spent under her roof, were sympathetic at first, but Judy realised that they were all desperate to escape the drudgery and loneliness of their lives. Perhaps the only people who were content with their lot were the two older ladies, who lived in their own little world. Judy found herself envying them.

With just a few coins left in her purse, Judy went to seek Minnie’s help and advice.

‘I haven’t come to borrow money,’ Judy said hastily when Minnie automatically reached for her reticule.

‘I can lend you enough for next week’s rent.’

Judy shook her head vehemently. ‘No, Mrs Marshall. Thank you, but I want to find work and I was hoping you might have heard of something. I’ll do anything.’

Minnie looked up at the sound of the door opening and her husband strolled into the parlour. ‘Judy is finding it almost impossible to find work, Toby. Can you help her?’

Dr Toby Marshall bore a striking resemblance to his sister, Daisy. It was a likeness that Judy had not noticed before, but it was something about the eyes and the kindly smile that reminded her of Daisy, and of home. She felt tears threatening to overcome her and she took a deep breath.

‘I’ll do anything within reason, Dr Marshall. I’m a good worker, but I can’t seem to convince anyone to give me a chance to prove myself.’

Toby went to sit beside his wife on the sofa. ‘Have you tried the hospital, Judy? They’re always looking for domestics. Or would that be too menial?’

‘No, sir. Of course not. I have to support myself.’

Toby exchanged worried glances with his wife. ‘Jack Fox has a lot to answer for,’ he said gruffly. ‘You should be with your family in Essex. Never mind what Jack told you.’

‘It is difficult, dear,’ Minnie said quickly. ‘You probably can’t remember what it was like when we first knew each other, but it’s a delicate balance.’

Toby shrugged. ‘The fellow has been leading you on, Judy. I’m fond of Jack, but he’s too much like his brother, and we all know that Jay behaved abominably towards Daisy.’

Judy lowered her gaze. She was not in a position to argue with someone so closely involved in the old family scandal, and she held her tongue, although she wanted desperately to leap to Jack’s defence.

‘That’s not helping, Toby,’ Minnie said, frowning. ‘I think you ought to take Judy to the hospital and put her forward for a position. With a good reference from you, I’m sure they will snap her up.’

‘Why not? I’m going there now, Judy. Would you like to come with me?’

‘Yes, please, Dr Marshall. If I don’t find work in the next day or so I’ll have to go home, and I’d rather not do that. Not yet, anyway.’

‘I like to see enthusiasm in my staff.’ Toby rose to his feet. ‘Best foot forward, as Aunt Eleanora used to say.’ He leaned over to kiss his wife on the cheek. ‘I’ll see you at dinner, darling.’

Minnie smiled up at him. ‘Try to get home before the twins’ bedtime, Toby. They always want their papa to kiss them good night.’

‘I will, but you know how things are. I’ll try my best. Come along, Judy. Let’s see what we can offer you at the London.’

When Judy entered the hospital she was struck forcibly by the strong smell of carbolic and the subdued babble of voices. The waiting area was crowded, but Toby walked on purposefully, stopping briefly to acknowledge a younger man.

‘I see you’ve drawn the short straw today, Ben.’

‘Henson went down with a fever, so I volunteered to take his shift. At least I feel I’m doing something useful with these poor souls who can’t afford to pay for private treatment.’

‘We’d all starve if we followed that rule,’ Toby said, chuckling. ‘I’m late for my ward round, but I’ll probably see you later.’

‘Most probably.’

Judy had to hurry to keep up with Toby. ‘Who was that?’

‘He’s a really brilliant man, but he’d rather work with the sick and needy than set up a lucrative practice in Harley Street. I’m afraid I’m not as dedicated as Dr Godfrey. It’s no wonder the patients call him Dr God.’

Judy glanced over her shoulder. Even in such a short time she had been impressed by the young doctor, who was not classically good-looking, but he had a pleasant, open countenance and she could see why his patients thought so much of him. His brown eyes sparkled with good humour, and if the warmth of his smile was anything to go by Dr God had a kind heart. Judy felt suddenly more optimistic. If Dr God represented the rest of the staff, maybe working in the hospital would be a good thing after all.

Judy returned to the lodging house with a smile on her face. She had a job at last, although she knew that it was going to be hard work. Cleaning hospital wards was not the most glamorous occupation, but as Matron had explained, it was a vital part of keeping infection at bay. The hours were long – from seven in the morning until nine o’clock at night – but the wages would pay for her room, and meals were provided while on duty.

It was not until she was in the privacy of her tiny bedchamber that the irony of the situation occurred to her: she would be working in the hospital that had saved her mother’s life. Judy took off her shawl and bonnet and laid them on her bed before going downstairs to the communal parlour. She knew from experience that it was usually deserted at this time of day, and she went to sit at the small desk situated beneath the window. Mrs Wood supplied headed paper on the understanding that her lodgers only used one sheet at a time, and that they did not include adverse remarks about their accommodation.

Judy sat down to write a letter to her mother, keeping the lines as close together as possible and using both sides of the rather inferior quality paper. At last she had something positive to pass on, and she would not have to return home a failure. If cleaning wards was not a glamorous job, at least it was worthwhile, and she would be starting work tomorrow. She could hardly wait.

At seven o’clock next morning Judy waited for the sister in charge to give her instructions. She had arrived early and was eager to start work, despite the gloomy predictions of her fellow lodgers in Fieldgate Street. Mabel had not yet returned from her shift when Judy made her announcement that she had found a position at the London Hospital, and the news had been met with exclamations of horror and much shuddering. Fanny had been the only one among them who had seen the possibilities of working with handsome young doctors, and she had teased Judy mercilessly when she blushed. Now, in the cold light of morning, as she waited outside the sluice room, Judy could not help wondering if perhaps her friends at the lodging house had been right. Then the sound of footsteps made her turn her head and the sight of Dr Godfrey’s beaming smile banished all her worries.

‘Good morning. I’m afraid I don’t know your name. My friend Toby Marshall was in too much of a hurry to introduce us.’

‘Yes, sir,’ Judy said shyly. ‘I know who you are.’

‘Then you have the advantage of me, Miss er …’

‘Judy Begg, sir.’

‘I’m Ben Godfrey, and this is one of my wards,’ he said, smiling. ‘I hope you enjoy working here, Judy.’

‘Thank you, Doctor.’ Judy glanced over his shoulder and saw the ward sister bearing down on them.

Ben looked round. ‘Good morning, Sister.’

‘Good morning, Dr Godfrey. I’m sure you have better things to do than to waste time chatting. We most certainly have.’

Judy stared at her in amazement. Sister Harris was an older woman, but to speak to a doctor in such a tone must surely earn her a sharp set-down.

‘Indeed I do,’ Dr Godfrey said, smiling urbanely. ‘Thank you for reminding me.’ He strolled into a ward, leaving Judy open-mouthed.

‘It’s not polite to stare, Miss Begg.’ Sister Harris glared at the ward maid, who came hurrying towards them. ‘You’re late again, Wallace. If this happens once more you’ll face disciplinary proceedings and possible dismissal.’

The young woman flushed uncomfortably and bowed her head. ‘I’m sorry, Sister. My mother was taken poorly in the night and—’

‘I don’t need excuses, Wallace. Get on with your work. I want you to take Begg with you today so that she knows the layout of the hospital and what’s required of her, but first I want you to show her where to get her pinafore and cap.’

‘Yes, Sister.’ Wallace shot a wary glance in Judy’s direction. ‘You’d best come with me, Begg.’

‘Thank you.’ Judy followed her to the linen room where they were both given caps and voluminous cotton aprons. ‘I can’t call you Wallace. I’m Judy.’

‘Gertie,’ Wallace said reluctantly. ‘Just do as I tell you and we won’t fall out.’

‘Of course. I’m here to learn, and I want to do well.’

Gertie gave her a searching look. ‘You’ll get over that soon enough. We do just enough to get by and no more. It’s a thankless bloody task. You get no gratitude for all the hard work and you go home stinking of carbolic.’

By the end of the morning every muscle in Judy’s body ached and her hands were reddened and raw from dipping them in the hot water laced strongly with disinfectant. She scrubbed floors and washed down tiled walls, following Gertie’s directions, although she soon realised that Gertie was taking it easy and allowing her to do the bulk of the work.

They were allowed half an hour for their midday meal, which was taken in the staff dining hall, where the differences in the hierarchy were even more noticeable. The menial workers were relegated to the back of the room, whereas the nurses sat in order of seniority at the tables nearest the serving hatch. There was no sign of the doctors, but Judy assumed they must have a separate room. She did not like to admit it, even to herself, but she was rather taken with Dr Godfrey, and that had come as something of a shock. Her heart belonged to Jack, of course, and she had never looked twice at another man, but there was something about ‘Dr God’ that she found very appealing, and she could understand why the patients hero-worshipped him. Even Gertie, who said very little at the best of times, had blushed and simpered when Dr Godfrey happened to come upon them as they scrubbed the floor of the women’s surgical ward. He had greeted them both with a smile, but his gaze had lingered on Judy, as Gertie had been quick to point out when he had walked away. She brought it up again as they sat down to eat their meal.

‘Does Dr Godfrey fancy you, Judy Begg? I saw the way he looked at you this morning.’

‘Of course he doesn’t,’ Judy said hastily. ‘I met him for the first time yesterday and that was in passing. I can’t think what put that into your head.’

‘Don’t act so innocent, miss. You was smiling all sweet and coy, and he lapped it up.’

‘I was not.’ Judy bent her head over her meal. ‘Don’t talk daft, Gertie. It’s all in your imagination.’

‘Is it? All I can say is that you’d better watch out. Nothing good can come of it, that’s for certain, and if Sister Harris finds out you’ll be in double trouble.’

‘Why?’ Judy demanded angrily. ‘What has it to do with her?’

Gertie opened her mouth to reply, but closed it again as she looked up at the person who had walked up to their table.

The young probationer nurse gazed at Judy with barely concealed glee. ‘Are you Miss Begg?’

Judy swallowed a mouthful of dry bread. ‘I am.’

‘You’re wanted in Matron’s office. I’d hurry if I was you. She don’t like to be kept waiting.’

‘What did I tell you?’ Gertie said triumphantly. ‘You’ve only been here five minutes and you’re already in trouble. You’re for it now, Judy.’

Chapter Four

The probationer led the way to Matron’s office and knocked on the door. ‘It looks like you’re in trouble, Begg. I bet she’s going to give you the sack.’ She waited for a few seconds before thrusting it open.

Judy entered the office and came to a halt when she saw Minnie Marshall, who sprang up from the chair in front of Matron’s desk. ‘Judy, my dear, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.’

‘What’s happened?’ Judy demanded anxiously.

‘There’s been an accident at the manor house.’

‘I think it best if you sit down, Miss Begg,’ Matron said firmly.

It was not an invitation to refuse and Judy sank onto the nearest chair. ‘Who was it? Please tell me.’

‘It’s Jack. He was thrown from his horse and he sustained serious injuries. He’s been asking for you, dear.’

Judy took a few seconds to assimilate such terrible news. Jack was a good horseman and he had always seemed indestructible. ‘How bad is it?’ Her voice sounded hoarse to her own ears.

‘It’s early days yet, but I would imagine that Dr Neville will consult a specialist who deals with such injuries. We’ll know more then.’

‘What sort of injuries?’ Judy demanded dazedly.

‘He hurt his back,’ Minnie said evasively. ‘He’s confined to his bed.’

‘Can he move?’

Minnie shook her head. ‘Not very much.’

Judy covered her face with her hands. She was too numb to cry, but the mere thought of Jack being crippled for life was appalling. Jack was too full of energy and love of life to exist as an invalid. ‘It can’t be true.’

‘We have to be strong for Jack,’ Minnie said earnestly. ‘He wants you to go home. Mary sent the telegram to us, and even in a few words I could feel a mother’s agony. He needs you, Judy.’

‘I’ll be sorry to lose you, Miss Begg.’ Matron opened a drawer in her desk and took out a cash box, which she unlocked. ‘I can pay you for one morning’s work, which will help towards your fare home.’ She took out a few coins and laid them on the desk.

‘Thank you, Matron.’ Minnie picked up the money and pressed it into Judy’s limp hand. ‘Come along, dear. I’ll help you pack your bag and we’ll take a cab to Bishopsgate Station.’

Judy shook her head. ‘It’s kind of you, Mrs Marshall, but I don’t want you to go to all that trouble. I’ll do as you suggest, but I can manage on my own.’

‘Nonsense,’ Minnie said with a wry smile. ‘I lodged in Mrs Wood’s house for several years and I know how difficult the woman can be. She might try to squeeze a few more shillings out of you, and that would never do. I’m up to her tricks.’ Minnie rose to her feet. ‘Come along, Judy. Together we’ll vanquish the old dragon.’ She turned to Matron with a charming smile. ‘Thank you, Matron.’ Minnie left the office and Judy followed blindly. All she could think about was Jack, lying broken and probably crippled for life, and she had been thinking badly of him. If she had not run away he might still be the same energetic, fun-loving young man. It was her fault and she would never forgive herself.

‘You mustn’t take it so hard, Judy.’ Minnie’s gentle voice interrupted Judy’s agonised thinking. ‘It was an accident, and it could have happened to anyone. I don’t know the details, but from what I remember of Jack Fox, he was always a daredevil.’

The description was so apt that it brought a reluctant smile to Judy’s face. ‘That’s so true.’

They had reached the main reception area and Minnie hesitated, gazing round expectantly. ‘I was hoping to see Ben Godfrey. I want him to give Toby a message, just in case he goes home and finds me gone. I left a message with Sukey, but I expect she’ll forget to pass it on.’ Minnie edged her way between the patients, some of whom were blocking the aisles while others wandered aimlessly, and were chivvied along by the busy nurses. Minnie came to a halt when she spotted Dr Godfrey, who was talking to the sister in charge. He broke away, and came towards them, smiling.

‘Minnie, this is an unexpected pleasure, and Miss Begg.’ His smile faded when he looked at Judy. ‘Is something wrong?’

Minnie placed her arm protectively around Judy’s shoulders. ‘I’m afraid Judy has just been given bad news. She’s going home to Little Creek.’

‘I’m sorry to hear that, Miss Begg. Is there anything I can do to help?’

Judy shot him a sideways glance. ‘No, Doctor. But thank you for asking.’

‘We have to leave now, Ben. Judy has to collect her belongings and I’m taking her to Bishopsgate Station. Will you tell Toby that, if you see him in the staff room?’

‘Of course I will, and once again, I’m sorry we’re going to lose you, Miss Begg.’

‘Thank you.’ At any other time Judy would have been pleased and flattered to receive such attention, but her thoughts were firmly fixed on getting home as quickly as possible. Jack had sent for her – he wanted her – and that was good enough. She needed no more encouragement to go home.

It was not far from Little Creek Station to the chain ferry, and when it reached the far side of the river Judy walked the last mile home. It was late afternoon when she arrived at Creek Manor and she was eager to see Jack, but fearful of what she might find. The feelings of guilt had plagued her during the journey home, and she was trembling as she waited for someone to open the heavy oak door.

James let her in and took her valise. His normally impassive countenance was troubled. ‘Glad you came home, miss.’

‘How is the master?’ Judy asked anxiously.

‘They say in the servants’ hall that he’ll never walk again, but I can’t tell you that’s a fact because I don’t know, and I don’t think no one else does neither.’

It was hardly an encouraging start, but Judy braced herself to face the worst. ‘Where is Mrs Tattersall?’

‘She’s in the drawing room now, but she’s spent most of the time at the master’s bedside. Your ma was with her not so long ago. She might still be there.’

‘Thank you, James.’ Judy hurried through the great hall and the familiar oak-panelled passages to the drawing room. She hesitated outside the door, taking a deep breath before she knocked and entered.

Mary was lying on the sofa with a cold compress on her forehead, while Hilda poured tea.

‘Judy, love.’ Hilda placed the pot back on the tray and leaped to her feet. In an unusual show of emotion she gave her daughter a hug, and then released her. ‘Thank goodness you’ve come home. We’re all at sixes and sevens.’

Judy glanced over her mother’s shoulder. ‘How is Mrs Tattersall?’

‘Not good, dear. It’s been a terrible shock.’

‘How did it happen, Ma?’

‘I only know that Will Johnson came across Jack’s horse running loose, and he found Jack unconscious in ten-acre field. The workers brought him home on a hurdle, and Dr Neville came to see him, but he’s going to send for a specialist from London because he doesn’t know enough about spinal injuries to be certain of the outcome.’

‘He must have some idea. Does he think that Jack will be crippled for life?’

‘Hush, dear. Keep your voice down. We’re trying to keep it from Mrs Tattersall.’

‘Where is Jack now? I want to see him.’

‘The workers brought him home on a hurdle and carried him upstairs to his room. He’s been there ever since.’

‘I’ll go and see him now.’

‘He’s done nothing but ask for you since he regained consciousness. For two days he just lay there like a stone, and when he opened his eyes he spoke your name.’ Hilda buried her face in her apron. ‘I’ve tried to be brave for Mrs Tattersall’s sake, but I’m so glad you’ve come home, Judy. Please don’t go away again.’

Judy laid a hand on her mother’s shoulder. ‘Don’t worry, Ma. I’ll stay as long as I’m needed.’ She glanced at Mary, who was lying inert on the sofa. ‘Is she all right?’

‘Not really. Dr Neville gave her a strong dose of laudanum, but she’ll be pleased to see you when she comes to herself.’

Upstairs in the master bedroom, Jack was flat on his back and at first Judy thought he was asleep, but as she approached the bed he seemed to sense her presence and opened his eyes.

‘Judy. I knew you’d come.’

She perched on the edge of the bed and reached out to grasp his hand as it rested on the coverlet. ‘I can’t leave you for five minutes without you getting into bother,’ she said, forcing a smile although she felt more like crying.

‘I don’t remember how it happened,’ Jack said angrily. ‘One minute I was on horseback, and the next thing I remember is waking up in my bed.’

‘Are you in much pain now?’

‘I can’t feel a thing, and that’s what frightens me most. I can’t move my legs, Judy. I’m a cripple.’

She squeezed his fingers. ‘Don’t say that. It’s early days yet, and I’ll make sure you get the best medical attention possible. You’ll be up and about before you know it.’

Jack curled his fingers tightly around her hand. ‘Do you really believe that?’

She met his anxious gaze with a straight look. ‘We must believe it, Jack.’

‘You won’t leave me again, will you?’

She raised his hand to her cheek. ‘No, of course not.’

‘I want you to promise.’

‘I do – cross my heart and hope to die.’

A faint smile creased his pale face. ‘I’ve hardly slept since the accident. Will you hold my hand until I fall asleep?’

She edged carefully onto the bed and lay down beside him, clutching his hand in hers. ‘Of course I will.’

Judy waited until she was certain that she would not wake Jack by getting up. She leaned over the bed to drop a kiss on his unruly curls; he looked so young and defenceless while he slept, and her heart went out to him. Biting back tears, she went downstairs to the drawing room where she found Mary deep in conversation with Dr Neville. He looked up and his expression was serious.

‘I’m glad you came home, Judy. You’re just what Jack needs.’

Mary nodded. ‘Yes, indeed. Hilda told me you were here, Judy. I’ve been so worried about Jack, but I know you’ll do him a power of good. I want you to forget what I said to you before. I didn’t want you to leave us like that, and Jack was furious with me.’

‘We will all do our best for Jack,’ Dr Neville said earnestly. ‘I’ve sent for a specialist from London.’

‘I don’t care what it costs,’ Mary said feebly. ‘I’d sell my soul to make my boy well again.’

‘Of course you would, Mrs Tattersall,’ Dr Neville said gently. ‘My knowledge of spinal injuries is limited, but Toby recommended a young doctor who trained at the City Orthopaedic Hospital in Hatton Garden. I’ve met Ben Godfrey and he’s a decent fellow, who won’t charge you a full consultant’s fee.’

Judy stared at him in surprise. ‘Dr Godfrey? I met him in the London Hospital. He’s very nice.’

‘He’s a very presentable fellow,’ Dr Neville said, smiling. ‘But he’s also a very good doctor.’

‘When is he due to arrive, Doctor?’ Mary asked urgently.

‘He’ll be here in a day or two, but you mustn’t expect miracles, Mrs Tattersall. Jack damaged his spine when he was thrown from his horse. It’s too early to tell if it will be permanent, but there is the possibility that he won’t walk again.’

Mary reached for her hanky. ‘Oh, no! I can’t bear to think about it.’

‘He will recover fully,’ Judy said firmly. ‘I won’t let him give up.’

Dr Neville gave her an encouraging smile. ‘That’s the right attitude, Judy. If anyone can keep his spirits up, it’s you.’ He turned to Mary, covering her hand with his. ‘I’m sure that Daisy would be happy to give you a hand, should you need help. She was an excellent nurse.’

‘You always had a soft spot for Daisy,’ Mary said with a ghost of a smile. ‘I know she’s happy now with Marius, but Jay should be here to manage the estate instead of running away to the other side of the world. He’s let us all down.’

‘Have you heard from him since he went to Australia? It’s hard to imagine that he would abandon his family so completely.’

‘No, Doctor. Not a word, and it’s been ten years since he left us. He probably thinks he’ll go to prison for bigamy if he comes home, so I doubt if I’ll ever see him again.’

‘I’m sorry, it must be very hard for you.’ Dr Neville patted her hand before rising to his feet. ‘I’ll go upstairs and see my patient. There’s no need to accompany me, Mrs Tattersall. You need to rest and take care of yourself.’

‘I’ll try, Doctor.’

He paused by the doorway. ‘Might I have a word with you, Judy?’

She jumped up and hurried after him as he stepped outside into the corridor. ‘What is it, Doctor?’

‘Jack won’t be able to do anything much in the way of running things for quite some time, and Mrs Tattersall isn’t a young woman. Your mother and Mrs Ralston are quite capable of dealing with household affairs and, as far as I can tell, Clem Guppy is a good estate manager, but they need someone to take charge. Someone they can turn to if they need help or advice.’

‘I don’t think I’m the right person, if that’s what you’re thinking,’ Judy said hastily. ‘I’m not family.’

‘It was Jack who brought the matter up, Judy. He begged me to send for you and he has enormous faith in you.’

‘I know Mrs Tattersall wanted me to take over as housekeeper when Mrs Ralston retires, but running the entire estate is not the same thing, Doctor.’

‘I understand, and I have spoken to Mrs Tattersall about it. She’s desperate to keep the estate together, and she had to admit that there is no one else who is as close to the family as you are, Judy.’

‘Yes, but I have no authority when it comes to making decisions about the estate.’

‘Jack trusts you implicitly and, if the truth were told, you probably know a great deal more about day-to-day matters than he does. He’s willing to back up any decisions you make, should you decide to accept the responsibility. It’s just a temporary measure, until he’s recovered sufficiently to take the reins again but, speaking as his doctor, I think that, above all, he needs complete rest and peace of mind.’

‘I really wouldn’t know where to start, Doctor.’

‘Then may I suggest that you visit Colneyhurst and have a word with Daisy? I’m sure she would be only too happy to help you, considering the fact that she ran this place single-handed after Jay deserted her. She had to make it pay for itself and she did a splendid job.’

Judy met his earnest gaze. ‘I’m not entirely convinced, but I’ll go and see Daisy first thing in the morning.’

He patted her on the shoulder. ‘I have faith in you, Judy. I’m going to see Jack now, so I’d like you to come with me. I’ll tell him about Dr Godfrey, and you can calm any doubts he might have.’

After eating her supper in the servants’ hall Judy went upstairs to sit with Jack while he picked at his food. ‘If you don’t eat up I’ll have to spoon-feed you as if you were a baby.’

Jack pulled a face. ‘You would, too.’

‘Yes, indeed, and I want to see a clean plate. You won’t get better unless you get your strength back.’

He managed to eat a few more mouthfuls. ‘What’s this London doctor like?’

‘I only met him briefly, but he seemed quite nice. Apparently his patients call him Dr God – his name is Dr Godfrey, if you remember what Dr Neville told you earlier.’

‘My brain works very well, thank you, Judy. It’s my legs that were affected by the fall.’

She smiled. ‘I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour.’ She leaned over to take the tray from him. ‘You’ll walk again, I know it.’

‘I don’t think I could go on if I were a cripple.’

She placed the tray on a side table and went to sit on the edge of the bed, taking both his hands in hers.

‘I won’t allow that sort of talk, Jack. I’m with you now and for always, if you need me.’

‘I’ve no claim on you, Judy.’ His eyes brimmed with tears and he turned his head away. ‘If I can’t walk again I’ll only be half a man.’

‘Absolute nonsense. You are the same Jack Fox I’ve always known and loved.’

He turned to face her. ‘You love me?’

‘Of course I do, silly. I’ve always loved you, and nothing will ever alter that, so when you start talking like a lunatic, just remember the people who care deeply for you.’ She put her arms around him and gave him a long, but gentle hug.

‘That’s half the trouble.’ Jack sank back against the pillows, smiling ruefully. ‘My family are driving me mad. Dove and Linnet have been here every day, sometimes with their children. I love them all, but I don’t know what to say to them. Ma keeps crying and kissing me, which she never did before. Keep them away from me, Judy. Please.’

She pulled the covers up to his chin. ‘I will. Now try to sleep.’

‘Did the doctor speak to you about taking care of things while I’m laid up?’

‘Yes, he did, but don’t worry about that now.’

He grasped her hand. ‘I want you to manage the estate for me. You’re the only person I really trust.’

‘Let’s not talk about that just yet. You must rest.’

‘I won’t sleep until you promise you’ll stay and do what you can to keep things together. Promise, Judy.’

She raised his hand to her lips. ‘All right, I promise I’ll do everything I can.’

‘Thank you.’ Jack closed his eyes and then opened them, staring at her in alarm. ‘You’re not going back to the cottage, are you?’

‘Yes, of course. It’s where I live.’

‘No,’ he cried childishly. ‘I don’t want you to go so far away. You must sleep in the room next to mine. It was Daisy’s bedchamber until she married Marius. Please don’t go.’

She clasped his hand. ‘All right. I’ll do as you ask, but I have to let Ma know, or she’ll think something awful has happened to me.’

‘You’ll come back and say good night.’

‘Of course I will. Stop worrying. I’m here and I’m never going to leave you again.’

He closed his eyes again and a smile curved his lips.

Judy tiptoed from the room and went to find her mother. She had expected to be bombarded with objections when she told her mother that she was going to move to the manor house, but Hilda merely smiled.

‘If that’s what makes Jack happy, then that’s what you must do. The poor boy has been in a terrible state since you left.’

‘I thought I was doing the right thing by going away, Ma.’

Hilda patted her on the shoulder. ‘We do what we can in this world, dear. Now I must go. Mr Faulkner is waiting for me.’

Judy was suddenly alert. She had detected a subtle change in her mother even before she left for London, but she had been too immersed in her own problems to question her. Now she was suspicious. ‘Why would he do that?’

‘He’s been very considerate since Jack’s accident. Being the head groom and all that, I think he felt responsible for the way the horse bolted, but of course it had nothing to do with him. Anyway, he’s taken to walking me home after dark. He says there are poachers in the woods, so I’m glad of a bit of protection.’

‘I see.’ Judy stifled a giggle. It seemed that Ma and the head groom were walking out together, although of course Ma would never admit to such a thing.

‘I know you’re laughing at me, Judy Begg. You can wipe that smirk off your face.’

Judy leaned over to kiss her mother’s lined cheek. ‘I’m not laughing at you, Ma. If you enjoy Mr Faulkner’s company, that’s fine by me.’

‘He’s very patient with your brothers,’ Hilda said stiffly. ‘He says that Pip and Nate both have a way with horses.’

‘I’m sure he’s a good influence on them. It’s hard for boys to grow up without their father. I don’t think either of them remember Pa, but I do. He was kind and funny.’

‘I’m not trying to replace your father, Judy.’ Hilda’s face flushed rosily. ‘I’m too old for all that, and no man would want a woman with half a limb missing.’

‘Ma, you’re only thirty-nine. You’re not old, and if Mr Faulkner really likes you he wouldn’t care about your injury.’

Hilda tossed her head. ‘I don’t know why we’re even talking about this, Judy. Wilfred and I are just friends.’

‘Wilfred?’ Judy chuckled. ‘Oh, Ma! I’m delighted that you have a gentleman friend. You are much too attractive and nice to spend the rest of your life as a widow.’

‘You’re talking nonsense, as usual. I’m going home.’

‘You mustn’t keep Wilfred waiting,’ Judy said, smiling.

‘It’s a pity you’re too big to put over my knee.’ Hilda stalked off with her head held high and Judy dissolved into a fit of giggles. Suddenly she felt better, and she went to the linen cupboard to fetch sheets and pillowcases for the bed in Daisy’s old room.

Dr Godfrey arrived next day and was met at the station by Dr Neville. Judy was halfway down the grand staircase when they arrived. She reached the foot of the stairs in time to greet the new arrivals.

‘It’s so good of you both to come all this way.’

Dr Godfrey bowed over her extended hand with old-fashioned gallantry, which she found rather touching. ‘Not at all, Miss Begg. I’ve always been interested in spinal injuries, and Dr Neville has explained the nature of the accident.’

‘Would you like to see Mrs Tattersall before you examine Jack?’ Judy asked cautiously. ‘I expect she had many questions to put to you.’

‘Of course.’ Dr Godfrey gave her a smile that seemed to light up the great hall even though it was raining outside.

‘That’s a good idea,’ Dr Neville added. ‘Dr Godfrey will be able to give her much more up-to-date information than I could.’

Judy led the way to the morning parlour where Mary spent much of her time these days. It was a relatively small room, furnished with comfortable, well-worn chairs and a tea table set in front of a tall window, which overlooked the parterre garden in all its spring glory. Mary was seated by the fire, which she insisted on being lit even though it was reasonably warm. She put her embroidery hoop down.

‘Yes, Judy? What is it?’

‘Dr Neville is here with the specialist from London, Dr Godfrey.’

‘Oh dear. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. What will I do if he says there’s no hope of Jack ever walking again?’

‘He might say the very opposite, Mrs Tattersall. Dr Godfrey is the expert.’

‘Show them in, and then you’d better go upstairs and warn Jack to expect them.’

‘Yes, of course.’ Judy opened the door and beckoned. ‘Mrs Tattersall will see you now.’ She ushered them into the room and closed the door. Taking a deep breath she headed back through the great hall and, picking up her skirts, she raced upstairs, arriving in Jack’s room slightly breathless.

He was propped up on a mound of pillows. ‘Why the hurry?’ he demanded peevishly. ‘Your hair is all over the place.’

She went to the dressing table and smoothed a stray lock of fair hair back from her forehead. ‘Your mother sent me to tell you that the specialist is here. Dr Godfrey is particularly interested in spinal injuries.’

Jack turned his face to the wall. ‘I feel like an exhibit in a freak show.’

‘Nonsense, Jack. Stop being so melodramatic. The doctor is here to help you.’ A sharp rap had Judy hurrying across the room to open the door. She let the two doctors in and rather reluctantly left them to carry out whatever examinations they thought necessary. She made her way slowly downstairs, where she found Mary pacing the floor in the great hall.

‘Are you all right, ma’am?’ Judy asked anxiously.

Mary shook her head. ‘I can’t carry on like this, Judy. I know I should be stronger and more capable, but I really can’t continue to manage the estate as I did when Jack was away at university. Jack spoke to me about you and I agree with him. There is no one that either of us would trust to take over while he’s in this state, other than yourself. Will you forget everything I said in the past, Judy? Will you take over from me and keep the estate from going bankrupt?’

Chapter Five

It was almost an hour later when Dr Neville and Dr Godfrey returned to the morning parlour. Judy had managed to calm some of Mary’s fears by promising to do everything in her power to keep things running until Jack made a full recovery. She had kept her amused with descriptions of Mrs Wood’s lodging house and the people who lived there, but she was rapidly running out of stories.

‘Well?’ Mary demanded, rising to her feet. ‘What is the likely outcome, Dr Godfrey? There’s no need to mince words. I’m prepared for the worst.’

‘I’ve examined your son to the best of my ability and, apart from the obvious bruising, it’s difficult to ascertain whether or not there is more serious damage to his spine.’

‘So you can’t give me a definite diagnosis,’ Mary said slowly. ‘I thought you were an expert.’

‘I understand your concern, Mrs Tattersall, but in a case such as this we have to wait and see. It’s going to be a slow process, but I would very much like to come again in a couple of weeks’ time, and perhaps by then I’ll be able to make a more accurate prognosis.’ Dr Godfrey looked from Mary’s downcast face to Judy’s equally sad expression. ‘However, I am very hopeful. Jack is young and strong, and I know he will have the best of care.’

Mary sank back onto her seat. ‘Send your bill and I’ll make sure it is settled quickly.’

‘There will be no charge for this initial visit, Mrs Tattersall. I’m happy to be of service but I will return in a fortnight’s time, if that’s acceptable to you.’

‘I’ll call again tomorrow,’ Dr Neville said hurriedly.

‘I’ll see you out.’ Judy hesitated in the doorway, glancing anxiously at Mary, who was deathly pale.

‘All this is too much.’ Mary leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes. ‘My poor boy.’

‘I’ll be back in a minute.’ Judy hurried after the doctors and she caught up with them as they were preparing to leave the house. ‘Are you really hopeful, Dr Godfrey,’ she asked anxiously, ‘or were you trying to keep up our spirits?’

‘A bit of both, I suppose. As I said, it’s a difficult one to predict, but time will tell.’

‘Mrs Tattersall is naturally very concerned,’ Judy insisted. ‘Could you be more specific? Will Jack ever be as he was before the accident?’

Dr Godfrey patted her on the shoulder. ‘I’ll do everything I can for him, but I can’t promise anything. However, I can see that he has an excellent nurse, and it’s just a matter of time before we know anything for certain. In the meantime, try to keep him calm and don’t allow him to worry.’

Judy dropped her gaze. She could feel the colour rising to her cheeks as it had done when she first met Dr Godfrey. ‘Thank you, Dr Godfrey.’

‘I’ll drive you to the station, Ben,’ Dr Neville said cheerfully. ‘Unless of course you’d like to stay on for a day or two.’

‘I’d love to, but I have patients to see at the London, although I might take you up on that offer when I return. Little Creek seems such a charming village and a pleasant change after the hurly-burly of the East End.’

‘The station it is then.’ Dr Neville gave Judy an encouraging smile as he left the house. ‘Try not to worry, Judy. We’ll do our best for Jack.’

‘Yes, Doctor. I know you will.’

Judy stood in the doorway, watching them as they climbed into the chaise and drove away. She knew that they would do what they could for Jack, but she had hoped for more encouraging words from both doctors, and she struggled with feelings of disappointment and frustration. Jack might be laid up for weeks, months or, heaven forbid, even years, and what would happen to the estate? It would not run itself and she had made a solemn promise to do what she could to avert disaster. The servants would do their very best and Clem Guppy was capable of dealing with the day-to-day problems that arose on the estate, but it was clear that Mary Tattersall was close to breaking point. Judy had never before considered how hard it must be for a woman on her own to take charge of a large household as well as the demands of a working estate, but it was becoming clear to her now. Suddenly the divide between mistress and servant had narrowed. Judy knew that she owed it to Jack to do whatever she could to ensure that things ran smoothly until he was well enough to take over.

She turned to James, who was standing behind her waiting to close the door.

‘James, will you send a message to the stables, please? I’d like a horse saddled and ready to leave for Colneyhurst in twenty minutes.’

‘Yes, miss. I’ll see to that myself.’ James hesitated, clearing his throat, and it was obvious that he had something to say.

‘What is it, James?’

‘We’re wondering if things will go on the same now, miss. I mean with the master laid up for goodness knows how long, will there still be a place for the likes of me and some of the other servants?’

‘Of course there will,’ Judy said firmly.

‘Begging your pardon, but can you say that for certain? I’ll be honest with you, miss. There’s talk of bankruptcy in the servants’ hall. They say that Madam has allowed the estate to run into debt.’

‘I’m sure that’s untrue, James.’ Judy was shocked, but she tried to sound positive. ‘But it does look as though the master might be laid up for a while. You can tell them in the servants’ hall that I have matters in hand. We will keep going until the master is well again. Have no doubt about that.’

‘Thank you, miss. I hope you don’t mind me asking.’

‘Please send the message to the stables. If anyone asks, I’ll be back in time for dinner.’ Judy headed for the grand staircase, taking the steps two at a time as she made her way to Jack’s room. She burst in without knocking.

‘Well? What did you think of Dr Godfrey?’

‘He prodded me about as if I were a lump of meat.’

‘He had to examine you, Jack.’

‘He tried to sound hopeful, but I still can’t feel my legs. I think it will always be like this.’

Judy hurried to his bedside and sat down, holding his hand. ‘I want you to stop talking like that. The doctor was much more hopeful when he was talking to your mother and me. We have to be positive, Jack. You’re not to give up; I won’t let you.’

He raised her hand to his cheek with a wan smile on his lips. ‘You’re a bully, Judy Begg.’

‘I most certainly am, when need be, and I’ll be very cross if I hear you talking like that again.’

‘All right, I’ll try to be positive, but it doesn’t stop me worrying about what’s going on downstairs. I feel so cut off up here.’

‘I know you do. It’s miserable for someone like you to be confined to one room, but I’m sure it won’t be for much longer.’

‘I was shocked to see Mama looking so pale and wan. I don’t think she’s been coping very well, Judy. Running the estate is too much for her; I should have left university sooner.’

‘She’s tired and she’s worried about you. I’ll do everything I can to make life easier for her.’

‘I can’t expect you to manage things on your own, Judy. It’s my job, but there’s very little I can do, laid up like this.’

‘You have to concentrate of getting well again, and I’m going to ride over to Colneyhurst and ask Daisy for advice. She knows more about running the Creek Manor estate than anyone.’ She leaned over to brush his tangled hair back from his brow. ‘It’s only temporary, Jack. You’ll be back in charge in no time.’

‘That’s the trouble, Judy. I never expected to be the lord of the manor, but now I’d give anything to be able to take back the responsibilities that irked me so much.’

‘And you will again.’ She rose to her feet. ‘I’m leaving now, but I’ll be back in no time at all and I’ll tell you all about it.’

‘Don’t jump any fences. That’s how I came a cropper.’

‘I’m not as adventurous as you, Jack Fox.’ She left him with a cheery wave, but she was worried. Despite the doctors’ attempts to sound hopeful, she was far from certain, and trying to convince Jack that he would recover fully was exhausting. She went to her room to change into her riding habit, which fortunately had been in the valise containing her clothes that James had collected from the cottage that morning. It was only when Judy saw her garments lying on the rich damask coverlet that she realised how shabby and old-fashioned they were. Most of them had been darned or patched, and even though the mending was neatly done, it was obvious that this apparel belonged to a menial. The riding habit was perhaps the best of the collection and that was a hand-me-down from Daisy.

Judy went to the mirror to pin the smart little hat in place. ‘You’re a fraud,’ she said out loud. ‘And everyone will know it. You are Judy Begg from Green Dragon Yard. You’re a servant, and no one will take you seriously.’

An hour later, seated in Daisy’s elegant drawing room, Judy struggled to put her fears into words. ‘I was a child when you brought us to Creek Manor, and I grew up working in the kitchen. How can I expect the rest of the servants to take orders from me?’

Daisy shook her head, smiling gently. ‘I started out in service, Judy. I was governess to a small boy in a grand London house. You know the story, as does everyone in Little Creek, but when I had to take over the running of the estate I had to put all that behind me. It’s not what you are, but who you are that counts. You must have faith in yourself, and the confidence to put yourself forward. It’s harder for a woman than for a man, but you can do it. You have to decide what you think is best when it comes to running the estate and the household, and then stick to your guns.’

‘What do you suggest? Where would I start?’

Daisy was silent for a moment, a frown marring her smooth forehead. ‘If I remember rightly, the first thing I did was to ride around the estate and make myself known to all the tenant farmers. They are always willing to express their views and they’ll probably hand out advice, whether you want it or not. You still have Clem Guppy to manage the day-to-day affairs, so you just need to assure everyone that there is someone in overall charge.’

‘That sounds like a good idea. What did you do when it came to running the house?’

‘Well, I had a chat with Mrs Ralston and we went over the household accounts. I gave her free rein to manage the house servants as she saw fit, and then I had a long talk with Cook, giving her the same responsibilities for the kitchen staff.’

‘What about Molesworth?’

‘Ask him about the cellar. That’s his favourite place, and he looks after the wines as if they were his children. He also has charge of the male indoor servants.’

‘What about the outdoor staff? I don’t know anything about gardening or the stables.’

‘You need to talk to Clem about that. He’s been a good estate manager for ten years and he’s reliable, especially with all those mouths to feed. I believe he and Ivy have seven children now.’

‘Will you come to the manor house and back me up? They’ll listen to you.’

Daisy shook her head. ‘No, Judy. You must do this on your own if you want them to respect you, but I’m here if you need me, and of course I’ll ride over to see Jack. Poor fellow, how is he?’

‘You know him as well as I do. He hates being laid up in bed, and neither Dr Neville nor Dr Godfrey can give us a definite diagnosis.’

‘Dr Godfrey? Who is he? I don’t know the name.’

‘He’s a doctor at the London Hospital, but I believe he trained at the City Orthopaedic Hospital. He came down from London especially to see Jack.’

Daisy smiled. ‘That will be my brother’s doing. Well, let’s hope Dr Godfrey can work miracles, because I fear that’s what it will need to make Jack walk again.’

‘I dare not think like that. I have to convince Jack that he’ll recover completely, and to do it I have to believe it will happen.’

‘He’s lucky to have you, Judy. If by some unkind twist of fate he doesn’t regain the use of his legs, he’s had the best education that we could afford to give him, and he’ll be able to take over the business side of running the estate.’

‘But he’s such an active person. I don’t know how he would cope with life as a cripple.’

‘Jack has a much stronger character than his brother. Jay couldn’t face responsibility of any kind.’

‘But you loved him once,’ Judy said shyly.

‘Yes, I don’t mind admitting it. I married him twice, didn’t I?’ Daisy laughed but there was no humour in the sound. ‘You and Molly were my bridesmaids at our spring wedding.’

Judy smiled. ‘I remember my dress and the little baskets filled with herbs and flower petals that Molly and I strewed in your path. It was a lovely day.’ She eyed Daisy warily. ‘I mean it seemed lovely to us, but that was before Jay disappeared.’

‘That was a talent of his; that and marrying women bigamously.’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you of unhappy times.’

‘Don’t apologise. I got over Jay a long time ago and I was lucky enough to meet Marius, who is the best of husbands and a wonderful father. I doubt if I would have been half as happy with Jay, who was selfish to the core. It was painful at the time, but I’m glad he left the country.’

‘Jack isn’t like his brother.’

‘They’re only half-brothers. You didn’t meet the old squire, Jay’s father, but he was a nasty character. He wanted me to marry him but I had the good sense to refuse his advances.’

‘But he married Mary.’

‘He did the right thing, but only because he knew he was dying and he was afraid of going to hell. Anyway, he made Jay his heir. I suppose in the eyes of the law Jay still owns the manor house and the estate, but he won’t come home to claim it back from his brother – not after all this time.’

‘What makes you so sure?’

‘I know Jay so well. He shies away from responsibility of any kind. I doubt if he’ll ever return to Little Creek.’

Judy went back to Creek Manor with mixed feelings. Daisy had given her good advice, but she had put doubts in Judy’s mind as to the eventual outcome of Jack’s injuries. After all, Daisy had spent time as a probationer nurse at the London Hospital, and she had probably seen people with similar conditions, which made her an expert in Judy’s eyes. She went straight to Jack’s bedchamber without even stopping to remove her hat and gloves, and she found him wide awake, staring up at the ceiling. She could tell from his expression that he was in the grip of deep depression.

‘Let me prop you up, Jack. You don’t look comfortable.’

‘You’ve been gone for hours,’ he said peevishly. ‘I’ve been here all alone, apart from Ma, who keeps trying to make conversation when I’ve nothing to say. What is there to speak about when I’m stuck here like this?’

Judy peeled off her riding gloves and plumped up the pillows. She could not lift him and she did not try, but she dropped a kiss on his forehead.

‘You can stop being grumpy, and I’ll tell you what Daisy had to say.’

Jack turned his head away. ‘Go on then.’

‘Well, she said she was very sorry to hear about the accident, and she’s going to ride over to see you.’

‘I really don’t feel like seeing anyone. It’s bad enough having my sisters coming round every day.’

‘You should be thankful that people care about you, Jack Fox. If you keep on like this I’ll go away and leave you to sulk.’

He shot her a sideways glance. ‘I’m not sulking.’

‘Well, what do you call it then? I went to see Daisy to ask her advice, because someone has to take charge until you get better, and you will recover, Jack. I refuse to let you sink into a state of depression.’

‘I might never walk again. What sort of man does that make me?’

‘You are still the same Jack Fox that you were before the accident.’

‘I’m as dependent as a baby. I can’t do anything for myself.’

‘That will change in time. Look at my mother: she’s learned to live with her disability. You have every chance of a full recovery, so don’t lie there feeling sorry for yourself. Dr Neville is coming tomorrow and maybe he’ll let you sit up in a chair. If he does, then James could carry you downstairs.’

‘Like a baby,’ Jack said with a wry smile. ‘I’m sorry, Judy. You’ve been working so hard to keep up my spirits. I will try to be a better patient.’

She leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. ‘Just try to be positive, Jack. I’m doing my best.’

Having left him in a slightly better mood, Judy went to her room to change out of her riding habit. She put on a simple grey cotton gown with a starched white collar and cuffs, and brushed her fair hair into a chignon at the nape of her neck. Small tendrils curled around her forehead, as if rebelling against her attempts to tame her thick tresses, but she was not concerned about her appearance, she had work to do. She began with Cook, her old friend and mentor Nell Pearce, and they sat at the long kitchen table, drinking tea and discussing topics as diverse as laundering the kitchen maids’ uniforms, stocking the larder and the cold room, as well as the menus for the coming weeks.

When Judy left the kitchen she went straight to the housekeeper’s office and found Ida Ralston poring over an accounts book. Judy had grown up in awe of Mrs Ralston, but now they discussed the housekeeping duties like equals, although Judy was careful to defer to Ida’s age and experience, and they parted on the best of terms. That left Molesworth, who was getting a bit rheumaticky, but was still eager to show off the contents of the cellar and explain his method of cataloguing the wines, spirits and barrels of ale. His one complaint was that the days of dinner parties and large-scale entertainments were over, and there was little call for his expertise. Judy sensed that he was worried about his future at the manor house and she did her best to assure him that he would not be replaced by a younger man, and that he was virtually indispensable.

She was exhausted when she made her way to the drawing room to tell Mary about her visit to Colneyhurst, and she was surprised to find her mother seated on the sofa in deep conversation with Mary. They both looked up with a start when she walked into the room, putting Judy in mind of two children caught doing something naughty.

‘Is there something I should know?’ Judy looked from one to the other.

‘Wilfred has asked me to marry him,’ Hilda said, blushing rosily. ‘I know it’s quite sudden, although we’ve known each other for ten years, and quite ridiculous for a woman my age, but …’

‘But nothing, Ma.’ Judy rushed over to give her mother a hug. ‘Don’t be silly. If you love each other, of course you must marry him.’

‘That’s what I said.’ Mary smiled smugly. ‘Faulkner is a good man and he’s been here for as long as I can remember. I don’t see what’s stopping you, Hilda.’

‘My leg,’ Hilda said in little more than a whisper. ‘He hasn’t seen me undressed, and I’m afraid he might find me repulsive.’

‘Of course he won’t.’ Judy squeezed in between them on the sofa and put her arm around her mother’s shoulders. ‘He must know about your injury. You’ve never kept it a secret.’

‘I know, dear, but it’s different when you’re married.’ Hilda glanced anxiously at Mary. ‘It’s one thing having a kiss and a cuddle, but when you’re married you share a bed … well, Mary knows what I mean.’

‘I’m not a child, Ma.’ Judy released her mother with one last hug. ‘If it worries you so much just show him.’

‘What?’ Hilda cried. ‘Lift my skirt in front of a man? I’d die from mortification.’

‘Ma, you want to marry him, don’t you?’

‘I’m considering his offer.’ Hilda pursed her lips primly.

Judy looked from one to the other, shaking her head. ‘I don’t see how you can get round it in any other way. Although, I suppose if you were to sit behind a screen, and I lifted your skirt for you, we could show Wilfred without causing either of you any embarrassment.’

Mary covered her mouth with her hand, barely disguising a chuckle. ‘That sounds sensible, Hilda.’

‘I don’t know. I’d still find it awkward.’

‘You won’t see him,’ Judy said firmly. ‘You’ll be hidden except for the bit of you that is causing the problem. If he finds it disturbing, I’ll know by his expression.’

‘It’s the most practical solution, Hilda.’ Mary rose from the sofa. ‘I think I need a glass of sherry wine. You must both join me. I never drink alone.’ She moved swiftly to the bell pull and tugged it so hard that Judy was afraid she might pull it down.

Judy turned back to her mother. ‘Well, what do you think?’

‘I don’t know, dear. It all sounds a bit theatrical, not to say embarrassing. There’s no getting round the fact that I look like something from a freak show.’

Judy leaped to her feet. ‘Nonsense. I won’t have you say things like that about yourself. You’re the bravest, kindest woman I’ve ever met and you deserve to be happy.’

Mary nodded emphatically. ‘I agree with Judy. It sounds a bit extreme, Hilda, but if you can’t bear to reveal your poor damaged limb in any other way, I don’t see the harm in it.’

‘I wonder what Grace Peabody would say if she knew,’ Hilda said with a wry smile.

‘Heaven forbid!’ Mary sank down on a chair by the fireplace. ‘Where is that girl? I really could do with a glass of sherry.’

‘I’ll fetch the decanter and glasses from the dining room,’ Judy said hastily. ‘Just in case words gets out that the mistress of Creek Manor has taken to drinking in the afternoon. That really would scandalise the vicar’s wife.’ She left the room, almost bumping into the parlour maid. ‘It’s all right, Lizzie. The mistress has changed her mind.’

‘Yes, miss.’ Lizzie turned on her heel and hurried back in the direction of the servants’ quarters, leaving Judy free to fetch the decanter.

After two glasses of sherry, drunk in quick succession, Hilda finally plucked up the courage to agree, and they decided to put Judy’s stratagem into action the following afternoon.

Later, when Judy had taken Jack’s supper to his room, she told him what they were planning and had the satisfaction of hearing him chuckle.

‘You’re a witch, Judy Begg,’ he said, grinning. ‘Who else would think of something like that?’

‘It’s common sense,’ she countered. ‘Ma is afraid that Wilfred will be horrified when he sees her poor injured leg, and both Mary and I said that if he really loves her he will take it all in his stride.’

‘Unlike poor Hilda,’ Jack said, laughing.

Judy smiled. She knew that Jack was not being callous, it was merely his wry sense of humour struggling to get through the haze of misery that had held him in its thrall since the accident. He had always been able to see the funny side of a situation, and this was just the start of his recovery, or so she hoped. She waited until he had finished his meal, then she picked up the tray.

‘Lizzie should be doing that,’ Jack said sharply. ‘And you should be seated at table in the dining room with my mother. Why are you still here with me?’

‘I’m here because this is where I want to be, and I eat in the servants’ hall, as always.’

‘But that’s ridiculous, Judy. You aren’t a servant, and you should be treated as a member of the family.’

‘You’re wrong, Jack. I am still a servant, even if my position has changed slightly.’

‘I won’t have that. You’re my …’ He met her gaze with a puzzled frown. ‘I mean, we’ve been together for so long that you’re part of me.’

‘Not in the eyes of the family, or anyone else, if it comes to that. We’re not engaged or even thinking about it.’

‘Of course not. I’m a cripple and likely to remain so. I can’t marry you, or anyone while I’m in this state.’

She could see that he was getting agitated and she headed for the doorway. ‘Don’t worry about it, Jack. It will all work out in time.’

‘That’s what people say when they don’t know what’s going to happen,’ he said bitterly. ‘Look at me, Judy. I’m supposed to be lord of the manor in Jay’s absence, but everyone knows that I’m not up to it. I wasn’t before the accident and now I’m completely useless. I can’t even elevate you from the servants’ quarters to the family table.’

‘I won’t listen to this.’ Judy balanced the tray on her knee while she opened the door. ‘I’ll come back after I’ve had my supper.’

‘Don’t bother. I’ll probably be asleep.’

‘All right, if that’s the way you want it, I’ll say good night.’ She left the room, knowing that she would return later and he would be pleased to see her, even if he pretended otherwise. She loved him dearly, but he was behaving like a fractious child.

She took the tray to the kitchen where she found her mother in conversation with Cook and Ida Ralston, but Judy was quick to note the worried look on her mother’s face.

‘What’s the matter, Ma?’

‘Oh, Judy! I really can’t make up my mind. I don’t know what to do.’

‘What do you mean?’ Judy asked wearily. ‘Is this about your feelings for Mr Faulkner or embarrassment because of your amputation?’

‘Yes, my dear,’ Cook said with a sympathetic smile. ‘If you have any doubts about marrying the fellow, I’d say think again.’

‘Yes, indeed.’ Ida Ralston nodded in agreement. ‘What exactly is worrying you, Hilda?’

The sound of booted feet on the flagstone floor made them all turn with a start and Judy was surprised to see Wilfred Faulkner standing in the doorway, the smell of the stables hanging over him in a cloud.

‘Well, this is charming,’ he said, grinning. ‘Are you spreading the good news, Hilda, my dear? We’re to be married, ladies. My Hilda has yet to name the day, but it can’t be soon enough for me.’

Nell nudged Hilda in the ribs. ‘Go on, then. Tell him what you want him to do.’

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