His dreams can all come true...

but only if his ex-wife will agree!

Jake Holland’s peaceful dairy farm is a sanctuary—one he wants to share with other worn and weary veterans. He just needs one more piece of land to start his program...and it belongs to Tori Lerner, his ex-wife. A collaboration could benefit them both, but with a past full of secrets between them, is there any hope for renewed love?

LISA JORDAN has been writing for over a decade, taking a hiatus to earn her degree in early childhood education. By day, she operates an in-home family childcare business. By night, she writes contemporary Christian romances. Being a wife to her real-life hero and mother to two young-adult men overflows her cup of blessings. In her spare time, she loves reading, knitting and hanging out with family and friends. Learn more about her at lisajordanbooks.com.

Also by Lisa Jordan

Lakeside Reunion

Lakeside Family

Lakeside Sweethearts

Lakeside Redemption

Lakeside Romance

Season of Hope

Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk.

Season of Hope

Lisa Jordan

www.millsandboon.co.uk

ISBN: 978-1-474-09486-3

SEASON OF HOPE

© 2019 Lisa Jordan

Published in Great Britain 2019

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

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Version: 2020-03-02

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“Tori, I want you to meet someone special.”

Claudia gestured to Jake. “This is Jacob Holland, the eldest son of my dearest friends. Jake, this is my niece, Victoria Lerner.”

Lerner? Of course. Did he really expect anything different?

The whisper of a memory filtered through his mind, but he forced it back into the dark corner where it belonged. Remembering equaled pain, and he’d had enough heartache to last a lifetime.

“Victoria.” Her name slipped past his lips in a mix of a whisper and a gasp.

Victoria’s clover-green eyes tangled with his. She wore a pink sundress that complemented her pale skin. She lifted her hand. “H-hi, Jake.”

So maybe she wasn’t as confident as she appeared.

Good.

He didn’t need to be the only one feeling like he’d been kicked in the gut.

She smiled, creasing the dimples in her cheeks that could charm an ornery bull.

But not him.

Not anymore. He was immune. Had to be. It was his only protection against the devastation she was capable of causing.

Dear Reader,

Growing up down the road from my grandparents’ dairy farm, my favorite memories are filled with feeding calves, the rope swing in the hay barn, large family gatherings, and the values of faith, family and hard work instilled by my grandparents, my mom, aunts and uncles.

In Season of Hope, as a former Marine, Jake wants to honor the friend he lost by creating a Fatigues to Farming program, which will allow veterans with disabilities to learn farming in order to start their own small businesses. This idea is based on actual programs around the United States. Farmers are the backbone of America, and our veterans have sacrificed much to protect our freedoms. Both of these noble occupations need to be respected and honored.

When I created this series, I wanted to show how the Holland family uses their faith to find hope in heartache. Faith is believing without seeing, and when we’re walking through the valley of darkness, it can be difficult to see the Light, but no matter what challenges we’re facing, God is with us every step of the way, waiting to lead us through those difficult seasons. Hold onto the Hope.

I love hearing from my readers, so please email me at lisa@lisajordanbooks.com. Visit my website at lisajordanbooks.com to learn more about upcoming novels and events.

Be blessed,

Lisa Jordan

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

—Matthew 11:28–30

In memory of my grandparents, Charles and Lillian Camp, whose planted seeds of authentic faith created a spiritual legacy that has been passed down to future generations.

Acknowledgments

Thank you to those who brainstormed, answered research questions and prayed me through the completion of this book: Susan May Warren, Rachel Hauck, Beth Vogt, Melissa Tagg, Alena Tauriainen, Jeanne Takenaka, Michelle Lim, Richard and Mindy Obenhaus, Tari Faris, Tracy Jones, Kariss Lynch, Andrea Nell, Michelle Aleckson, Tara Sleeman, Josh and Valerie White and my WWC church family.

Thank you to my fairy-godmother agent, Rachelle Gardner, and my awesome editor, Melissa Endlich, for your continued support and guidance as I grow as a writer. Thank you to the Love Inspired team for your role in making this book happen.

Thanks to my husband, Patrick, and our sons, Scott and Mitchell, for your continued support and being my best cheerleaders. I love you always and forever.

Thank you, most of all, to my Heavenly Father for allowing me to live my dream and always giving me rest for my soul. Without You, none of this would be possible.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

About the Author

Booklist

Title Page

Copyright

Introduction

Dear Reader

Bible Verse

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Extract

About the Publisher

Chapter One

Jake hated betrayal.

Six years in the military fighting against injustice, terrorism and the oppression of the weak prepared him for great battles. But he didn’t expect to be fighting one in his own backyard. For something that had been promised to him, to his family. By one of his own.

But Claudia wouldn’t do that.

Would she?

No way.

She wouldn’t be the first person to break her word...

Still, there had to be a good reason. It wasn’t like her to go back on a promise, especially to family.

Well, he might not be family by blood, but Claudia Gaines had been his mother’s best friend since college. And like a second mother since tragedy stole his five years ago in a freak accident.

Jake sucked down a breath, just enough for his heartbeat to slow in his ears, and rapped weather-beaten knuckles against the red-painted door.

Midmorning June breezes stirred Claudia’s collection of colorful wind chimes, creating a symphony of low-toned woods clamoring with high-pitched metal. Just enough sound to rouse memories of the scorching desert sun, the air veiled with smoke and sand, the look of hopelessness in the faces of people trapped by a tyrannical government, and the night his life changed forever.

The night of ultimate betrayal that set him on a journey to bring hope to those courageous soldiers clawing for a way out—an escape from their private wars that raged long after returning home.

A journey that hit too close to home.

No wonder he’d taken to stretching out on his back deck and listening to the crickets and cows. Where the stillness served as a balm to the echoes in his head he couldn’t seem to deafen.

Nestled between a national forest and a man-made lake, the lakefront community of Shelby Lake in northwestern Pennsylvania was a far cry from the Middle East. He preferred hanging out on his family’s dairy farm spanning across most of Holland Hill on the edge of town.

His place of security.

Although he disliked coming into town on a regular basis, for once, though, he was thankful for Gossiping Gwen at the feed store. Otherwise, he might not have learned about the sale until it was too late.

He needed that land. He had a promise to keep. To atone for sins of his past.

But without Claudia’s land, those promises would remain unfulfilled, and that was a risk he just couldn’t take.

What was taking her so long to answer the door?

Cupping his hands around his eyes, Jake peered through the slit in the curtains hanging on the other side of the glass, but he couldn’t see much. His barn boots clomping against the painted gray planks, Jake crossed the wide covered porch, ducked his head under one of the hanging red geraniums and peered around the side of the house to see if her car was parked in the garage.

Not only was her cherry-red SUV parked in the driveway, but also a champagne-colored Lexus sat behind it.

Claudia had company.

At least he knew she was home.

He flung a leg over the railing and jumped down, missing the hot pink peonies blossoming in the side flower bed. Gravel crunched beneath his feet as he strode to the back porch, where the storm door stood open. Childish giggles streamed through the screen followed by barking.

Claudia didn’t have a dog...

Jake opened the door and stepped into the pristine mudroom that smelled of fabric softener. Toeing off his boots, Jake called, “Claudia?”

“Jake? That you?” She appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, wearing a sleeveless blue dress and leather sandals. She dropped the dish towel she’d been holding into a basket on the washing machine and opened her arms for a hug.

Jake walked into her embrace, breathing in scents of vanilla and baked bread, and allowed himself to relax. For half a second, he’d worried something had happened to her, and he couldn’t bear losing her, too. His family had suffered too much loss over the past five years. Claudia had been the glue that held them all together.

“I knocked on the front door, but you didn’t answer.”

“Knock? Since when does family need an invitation?” She released him, then grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the kitchen. “Come in and grab some coffee. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

Jake removed his sunglasses and hooked them on the edge of his gray T-shirt. He pulled off his tattered Ohio State ball cap, stuffed it in the back pocket of his jeans and finger-combed his hair quickly as he followed Claudia.

A childish squeal followed by giggles and more barking sounded overhead as footsteps thundered across the ceiling. He squinted gritty eyes against the bright sunshine pouring through the open kitchen window, over the sink and onto the ceramic floor tile. “I can’t stay for coffee. I just need to talk to you for a minute.”

“Sure, honey, but conversation is always better over coffee.” She poured coffee into three red stoneware mugs and handed one to him.

With one hand gripping the back of the wooden kitchen chair, he sipped the dark roast she favored. The first sip went down smooth, warming his stomach. He released a sigh, feeling a little more relaxed since Gwen had shared her news. Claudia would assure him all was well and she intended to make good on her promise.

He’d stressed out for nothing.

Needing the caffeine jolt to his weary system, Jake gulped a mouthful of coffee, caught a movement out the corner of his eye and turned.

He stiffened.

Jake choked, shooting the bitter brew out his nose and across the white tablecloth. His eyes watered, and his chest burned as his lungs seized. Still coughing, he scrubbed a hand across his tired face.

Claudia pounded him on the back and handed him a towel.

He wiped his eyes and tried to scrub the coffee off the front of his T-shirt, but it was no use.

Heat scalded his neck and crawled across his cheeks. Bracing both hands against the back of the chair, Jake closed his eyes and forced air into his lungs.

A moment later, he dared a glance and wished he could turn back time to thirty minutes ago when he debated between calling Claudia or stopping by. If he’d known, he wouldn’t have stepped foot on the property.

What was she doing here?

And today of all days?

Struggling for composure he didn’t feel, Jake straightened all six feet two inches of himself and stood with his shoulders back, chest high, feet apart and hands clasped in front of him.

Claudia crossed the room and linked her arm with the wide-eyed woman frozen in the archway between the kitchen and living room. In her arms, she held a small child with blond hair who tucked her face in the woman’s neck. A Yorkie with a black-and-tan coat wearing a pink collar sprinted over to Jake, sniffed his feet and then put her paws on Jake’s leg.

“Tori, darling, I want you to meet someone special.” Dragging the woman over to the table, she gestured to Jake. “This is Jacob Holland, the oldest son of my dearest friends. Jake, this is my niece Victoria Lerner and my great-niece, Annabeth. She belongs to Tori’s sister, Kendra, who is currently deployed overseas. And that troublemaker begging to be picked up is Poppy.”

Lerner? Of course. Did he really expect anything different?

The whisper of a memory filtered through his mind, but he forced it back into the dark corner where it belonged. Remembering equaled pain, and he’d had enough heartache to last a lifetime.

“Victoria.” Her name slipped passed his lips in a mix of a whisper and a gasp. He swallowed and reached down to scoop up the furry animal begging for attention.

Victoria’s clover-green eyes tangled with his. She set down the child, who gave Jake a shy glance before running into the other room.

Poppy wiggled in Jake’s arms, and he set the dog on the floor so she could chase after the little girl.

Victoria’s manicured fingers smoothed the top of her sleek head and toyed with the ends of her caramel-colored braid resting in front of her left shoulder like one of his niece’s Disney princess dolls. She wore a pink sundress that complemented her creamy skin and white strappy high heels. She crossed one foot over the other and lifted her hand. “H-hi, Jake.”

So maybe she wasn’t as confident as she appeared.

Good.

He didn’t need to be the only one feeling like he’d been kicked in the gut.

She smiled, creasing the dimples in her cheeks that could charm an ornery bull.

But not him.

Not anymore. He was immune. Had to be. His only protection against the devastation she was capable of causing.

With hands laced tightly in front of her, Tori looked at him with the soulful eyes that cinched his insides.

Give me strength.

He stuffed a hand in the front pocket of his faded, muddy Levi’s and dragged the other through his hair that was about two weeks past needing a trim. He spiked a finger on a stray piece of hay. Feeling the effects of being awake since 4:00 a.m., Jake forced out a breath.

Claudia watched them with puckered brows and narrowed eyes. “What’s going on? You two know each other?”

Jake shot a look at Tori, who dropped her gaze to the floor, then looked at her aunt. “We met years ago when I worked at the NCO club on base where Kendra—” she waved a hand toward Jake “—and Jake had been stationed. I spilled a tray of drinks on him and he was a perfect gentleman about it, helping me to keep my job.”

That’s it? That’s all she was going to say? What about—

Claudia swatted his chest. “You never mentioned you’d met my beautiful niece.”

“I didn’t know she was related to you until now.”

“Small world, huh?”

And getting smaller by the second...

“Something like that.” He turned to Tori. “So, Victoria, what brings you to Shelby Lake?”

Before she could reply, Claudia pulled out a chair and tugged on Jake’s arm. “Jake, have a seat. I need to talk to you.”

“Me, too, but I’d prefer to do it privately.”

“Okay, but hear me out first. Since it involves Tori, too, I’d like her to stay.” Instead of sitting, Claudia opened a bottom cabinet near the stove and pulled out a small frying pan. She grabbed a carton of eggs from the fridge and set them on the counter. “Want some breakfast, Jake?”

Jake caught her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m fine. Really. Can we talk? I need to get back to the farm.”

“Of course.” She smiled, then caught the corner of her lip between her teeth. Reaching for the half-empty coffeepot, she refilled his cup. “Let’s sit.”

Tori pulled out a chair across from his, her expensive designer perfume wreathing him, jostling more imprisoned memories clamoring to be freed.

Feeling trapped, Jake had no choice but to oblige. The quicker they talked, the faster he could retreat to the farm.

Claudia sat between them, folded her arms on the table and looked at Jake. “I know why you’re here.”

“You do?”

“Yes, and it’s not what you think.” She covered his hand. “I’d never go back on my word, especially with your family.”

“Then what’s going on? When I stopped by the feed store, Gwen said your land had been sold.”

“That woman needs to find better use of her time than spreading rumors and half-truths. After Dennis was diagnosed with cancer, we needed money for medical bills. Owning a business had its perks, but health insurance...well, that’s a different kind of animal. I went behind my husband’s back to see my brother, Frank. We haven’t been close for many years, but I had no other choice—Dennis was my world. I sold the land and the house to Frank with the condition I’d have first option to buy it back should he choose to sell.”

Jake clenched his teeth and forced himself to stay calm. “You should have come to us. We could’ve worked something out.”

Claudia cupped his cheek and shook her head. “With all you guys have been through with losing your mother, your dad’s back surgery and rebuilding the farm after the tornado nearly destroyed everything? You had enough on your plate without my problems, especially after Tuck lost his wife... No, I couldn’t burden you with this.”

“But you’re family, too.”

“I just couldn’t, okay? Besides, Frank came through for me. Dennis and I stayed on Holland Hill until he became too ill to keep up with the mowing and house maintenance. Moving into town allowed us to be closer to the hospital. In the year since he passed, I’ve been buried in grief and paperwork to get his life insurance checks. But before I could buy back the property, Frank passed away from a heart attack. Two months ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Jake glanced at Tori, who kept her gaze on her untouched coffee mug and traced the rim with her finger. “So that means...”

She looked at him, her eyes sad, yet almost...determined. “I own the property.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

“All of my father’s assets have been divided between my sister and me. I’m now the owner of the house and property Aunt Claudia mentioned.”

Jake jumped to his feet and paced. “Claudia...”

“When Dennis and I bought your grandparents’ property after they passed away, we promised to give your family first dibs if we chose to sell it so it would never be sold outside the family. And it hasn’t. So my promise is still intact.”

Jake jerked a thumb toward Tori. “She’s your family. Not mine.”

Not anymore.

He ground his teeth together and forced breath into his lungs, then jerked his attention back to Tori. “I’d like to make an offer to buy that land.”

She shook her head. “It’s not for sale.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“I’m going to live there.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

Claudia draped her arms around the two of them. “See? There’s a silver lining in all of this. With the two of you being neighbors, I have the feeling you’re going to hit it off right away. Oh, and not only that, but Tori can help you get your Fatigues to Farming project off the ground. She works in public relations.”

Claudia couldn’t be further from the truth. Jake needed that land to make good on a promise made years ago and to fix what he’d broken. He’d figure out another way because living down the road from Tori was something nightmares were made of.

And to work with her? Yeah, right. Forget that.

How was he supposed to survive being neighbors with the woman who didn’t have the guts to face him when she ended their brief marriage six years ago?

* * *

Fresh starts came with a price. And Tori was about to pay hers.

If she’d taken two minutes to do some research before coming to Shelby Lake, she wouldn’t have come face-to-face with the biggest regret of her life. How could she have forgotten where Jake was from?

The last six years had done little to detract from his good looks...or temper his anger.

Could she blame him, though?

What’d she expect? For him to take her in his arms and beg her not to leave again?

In her dreams, maybe.

Tori had no one to blame but herself. And she had to live with the consequences.

Now to convince Jake she wasn’t a Disney villain and simply wanted a safe place to call home.

Where was that exactly?

Not in Pittsburgh anymore. If ever.

Even though she’d grown up with a roof over her head and food in her belly, she’d felt more like an uninvited guest than a wanted daughter. Her father may have met all of her material needs, but she would’ve taken his love over his money any day. She dreamed of having a family and a place where she belonged. Falling in love with Jake had given her security and the sense of belonging she craved, but that had been short-lived.

She pulled her Lexus into the dusty barnyard and idled while deciding where to look for him. A whitewashed cinder-block building with a metal roof and a large front window etched with Holland Family Farm sat in front of her. To her right, a newly built rustic barn with an evergreen-colored metal roof sat next to a silver silo and a white barn with metal siding. Hay fluttered down from the small second-story window of the rustic barn.

She’d start there.

Opening her door, she stepped out of her car. The humid air pasted her dress to her skin as the early afternoon sun beat down on her head. Wishing she’d thought to grab her sunglasses, Tori waved away the pesky black gnats swarming her face. She wrinkled her nose against the ripe smells of manure, freshly cut grass and warm milk, and sidestepped a suspicious-looking mud pile. Maybe she should’ve taken the time to change into something more appropriate before barreling after Jake.

Black-and-white cows in the shaded pasture across the road eyed her as they chewed their food and swatted at flies with their tails. A trail of chickens flapped and waddled along the white fencing separating the barnyard from a large two-story house shaded by a row of pines and a sturdy oak.

She stood in the expansive doorway, allowing her eyes a moment to adjust to the sudden decrease in lighting.

Country music blared from an old boom box resting on one of the rungs of a ladder that led to a loft. A heavy, thick rope, darkened with age, hung from one of the sturdy barn beams and swayed in the light breeze that blew through the building. The scent of new wood heated by the summer sun filled her nose.

“The barn’s not much of a place for high heels and sundresses.”

Tori swiveled to seek the source of Jake’s voice. He appeared with a pitchfork in his hand. He’d stripped off his gray T-shirt and stood next to neatly stacked bales of hay in his faded jeans, grimy ball cap on backward, and worn leather gloves. His muscled chest was damp with sweat. He crossed to the old radio, flicked it off and leaned his pitchfork against the barn wall before retrieving his shirt hanging from a nail in the wall and pulling it over his head.

Was she relieved...or disappointed?

Forcing her eyes away, Tori glanced down at her sundress, toed off her heels and kicked them off to the side out of the way. “What are you doing?”

“Checking the roof and floor for any needed repairs, pitching old hay out the back window into the compost unit, and restacking some fresh stuff. You should’ve called.” Jake reached for a bale and lifted it over his head to add to the growing stack.

“You’re right. Sounds like you could use another hand.”

“Sure, when there’s one around.” Jake jerked his hat off his head, pulled a navy bandanna from his back pocket and mopped his forehead. Pocketing the cloth, he righted his cap. “What are you doing here, Victoria?”

She hated the way he used her given name, laced with disdain and veiled anger...like her father used to.

“I wanted to apologize. I’m sorry my presence caught you off guard.”

“Why today?” Jake yanked off his gloves and slapped them against his reddened palm. His eyes lifted and searched hers. “Why not yesterday? Or even tomorrow?”

The ragged edges of pain around the whisper in his voice sliced through her. “You remembered.”

“Even though you filed for divorce less than three weeks after we were married, I will always remember our anniversary.”

She dropped her gaze to the floor as her cheeks burned. With her big toe, she traced a circle in the dust. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “Jake...”

“Forget it, Tori. I’m not here to rehash the past. You’ve apologized. I accept. Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”

She ran a thumb and a forefinger under her eyes, probably smearing her eyeliner, and exhaled. “Aunt Claudia told me about the tornado and how much you’ve lost. I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“She also mentioned your project. I can help.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“You’re a real one-man show, aren’t you?”

“You know nothing about me anymore, so stop pretending you care.”

“But I do care. I never stopped.” Tori sat on a stray bale. The hay poked the backs of her legs. The pain was minor compared with the verbal barbs piercing her heart. “Tell me about your Fatigues to Farming project.”

“The program will enable disabled vets to learn about farming so they can start their own small businesses.”

“So how does my property tie in?”

He leaned the pitchfork against the ladder and reached for a water bottle on the floor. After taking a long drink, he wiped his mouth and looked at her. “Our property is necessary for growing crops and cow pastures. After Claudia and Dennis moved into town, we planned to buy back her property—it used to belong to my grandparents. We want to build accessible cabins for vets and their families to live in while they go through the program. Plus, there’d be space for a community garden.”

“Would you consider a trade?”

His eyes narrowed. “What kind of trade?”

“My sister, Kendra, is deployed overseas, so I have temporary custody of her four-year-old daughter, Annabeth. We need a...safe place to live. Staying with Aunt Claudia isn’t an option since her lease doesn’t allow long-term guests. Help me get the house ready to move into, and you can use the rest of the acreage for your project.”

“Sell it to me. Then you can have the money for something that won’t need work.”

“I don’t want to sell.”

“Why not?”

She raised her chin. “I have my reasons. That’s my offer. How are you raising awareness for your program?”

“Haven’t had time for that yet. Still working on grant paperwork. We need funds to get the program started.”

“I’ve planned awareness campaigns for charities and different organizations. I could do a fund-raiser for you. And I’m good at what I do.”

“At what cost?”

“No charge. A trade of services. It’s a worthy cause, and I want to help.”

Jake retrieved his gloves and slid them on. He reached for the pitchfork and headed to the back of the barn.

Tori tamped down the familiar feeling of rejection and walked over to where she’d kicked off her shoes. After sliding her feet back into them, she followed Jake. “You have twenty-four hours to think about it, then the offer’s off the table.”

He jammed the fork into a bale and glared at her. He threw his hands in the air as his voice rose. “Man, Tori. Give me a break, will you? I haven’t heard from you in six years. You ignored my phone calls and letters when all I wanted was the answer to one simple question—why? Instead of hearing from you, I get divorce papers handed to me through my commanding officer with orders not to contact you or else face charges. So excuse me for being a little gun-shy.”

“I’m sorry. That’s not how I wanted things to happen.”

“You didn’t stop it.”

Tori crossed to the open window that overlooked the barnyard. Tears blurred her vision as her voice dropped to a whisper. “I couldn’t.”

Unwelcome memories swirled in her head, tangling with her thoughts and roping her emotions. She didn’t want to remember the pain ripping through her body or hear the whine of the ambulance as it rushed her to the hospital. Or relive the sympathetic tone of the doctor as he broke the news. Or the convincing tone in her father’s voice as he tried to suggest he had only her best interests at heart.

Tell him.

Not here. Not now.

“Couldn’t? Or wouldn’t?” Jake stood behind her.

She whirled around, fisted her hands on her hips, then poked a finger into his chest. “These last six years haven’t been a picnic for me either. There’s so much you don’t know. If I could change the past, I would. Since I can’t, all I can do is make a fresh start. A safe place to care for my niece while her mother finishes her deployment, and maybe, if it’s not asking too much, a chance to make amends. I’m sorry I hurt you, Jake. It was wrong, and I regret it more than anything. But I’ve lost a lot, too.” She brushed past him and caught her foot, turning her ankle. Pain lanced her leg. She reached down and rubbed her throbbing joint. “You were right about one thing, the barn is no place for a sundress and high heels. Twenty-four hours. You know where to find me.”

“Wait.”

She stopped, keeping her back to him. The fatigue in his voice nearly unraveled her. More than anything, she wanted to wrap her arms around him, but that was impossible. He didn’t want her around, let alone to be touched by her. She clenched her jaw, mentally preparing for another round.

“Be here at nine thirty tomorrow morning. And wear something more appropriate for getting dirty.”

Tori nodded, headed out the door and stomped back to her car.

Like it or not, Jacob Holland, she was sticking around.

Even though she knew it couldn’t be, her heart longed for that second chance.

To fix what she’d broken. But that wasn’t possible.

Because once he learned the truth—what they’d truly lost—he’d want nothing to do with her again. But, for now, she wasn’t ready to risk being out of his life forever. So she’d stay and prove she was good at keeping her word this time—with the wild hope it didn’t destroy them both. Again.

Chapter Two

Jake needed to have his head examined. Why did he tell Tori to be here this morning? Hadn’t he been tortured enough with seeing her yesterday?

But this wasn’t about him.

He’d suck it up, even if that meant spending time with the one woman he longed to forget.

Like that was even possible.

Jake finished hosing down the floor inside the milk house, directing the water toward the drain under the milk tank. Wiping his hands on the legs of his jeans, he grabbed his empty travel mug, headed outside and breathed in a lungful of cool morning air—a welcoming contrast to the warm, steamy milk house—and allowed the breeze to whisk over his sweaty face.

A line of chickens clucked as they hurried to the coop next to the milk barn. Cows lumbered for the shade trees in the pasture across the road. Soon, his niece and nephew would be awake, and then there wouldn’t be any quiet until bedtime. Not that Jake cared. He loved hanging out with Olivia and Landon.

Cuddles, a butterscotch-colored barn cat his niece had named, curled around his ankles. Jake scooped her up. Purring, she nuzzled his neck. “Good morning, Mama. Where are your kittens?”

He glanced at the open barn door and found the three kittens batting at each other. Jake put her down and cut across the backyard to the farmhouse. He needed breakfast and coffee before facing Tori.

Lots of coffee.

He took the back deck steps two at a time and paused outside the back door to remove his barn boots.

Even though Mom had been gone for five years, her rules remained. And that meant no barn boots in the house.

Scents of fresh-brewed coffee mingling with fried bacon greeted him as he stepped into the kitchen.

Still dressed in his blue paramedic’s uniform, Tucker, his younger brother by a year, stood at the stove, turning home fries in a cast-iron skillet. “Hey, man. Grab a plate. Your food’s ready.”

Jake did as directed, handed the plate to his brother and then reached for the coffeepot to refill his travel mug. “Thanks, brother.”

“Anytime.”

Taking the food and the coffee to the large oak table, Jake sat and bowed his head, uttering a quick, silent prayer. Another one of Mom’s rules—always be thankful for what you’re given.

His eyes skimmed across the hand-painted sign hanging above the farmhouse sink. In every thing give thanks.

Would Mom still feel that way if she knew what the future held for the Holland family?

After losing so much, Jake struggled with thankfulness. He went through the motions of praying and attending church, but he doubted his prayers reached past the ceiling. Didn’t matter that he could recite verses from memory, list the books of the Bible and answer trivia questions with the best of them. He and God...well, they were more like strangers these days.

How could he have a meaningful relationship with Someone who took the people he loved most?

His eyes strayed to Dad’s open Bible on the table in his usual spot. More often than not, he’d walk into the farmhouse after milking and see Dad with his reading glasses on, Bible open and a cup of coffee in his hand.

How did Dad and Tuck maintain their faith without feeling resentful? How could it be God’s will to destroy a family?

Questions without answers. And Jake struggled to wrap his head around it.

He dropped his gaze to the pile of steaming eggs and shoved a forkful in his mouth. He ate half a slice of rye toast in two bites and washed it down with a mouthful of coffee.

Tucker snapped his fingers in front of Jake’s face. “Hey, man. Wake up. Claudia’s here.”

Terrific.

Jake stifled a sigh, looked longingly at the rest of his breakfast and palmed his travel mug as he pushed away from the table. “Hold onto my plate, will you? I’ll finish it later.”

“Where are you going?”

“To the barn. I’m giving Claudia’s niece a tour of the farm.”

“Enjoy.”

Not likely.

Jake scooted out the back door, shoved his feet into his boots and headed for the barnyard.

Perhaps the polite thing would’ve been to greet Claudia and Tori at the front door and show Tori where to go, but he was sure Dad would take care of that.

It gave him a couple of extra minutes to psych himself into seeing Tori again.

He headed into the barn, gathered the saddles and pads, and carried them out to the yard, hanging them on the fence. Returning to the barn, he grabbed the bridles and fetched Westley and Buttercup, two buckskin quarter horses, and led them out of the barn as Tori crossed the yard to meet him. She carried a small brown bag in one hand while her niece, wearing denim shorts and a pink T-shirt, clutched her other hand.

Tori wore a light blue fitted T-shirt with a yellow cup and Luke’s printed on it. Jeans hugged her legs, and she wore a pair of gray outdoor hiking sandals. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail that flopped as she walked.

They reached the fence where the lawn hemmed the barnyard. The little girl looked at Jake with clover-green eyes like Tori’s and the same crease in her cheeks when she smiled.

Jake’s heart ratcheted against his ribs.

That child could pass for Tori’s daughter.

What would it have been like to have a child with Tori? A little girl with those same eyes and dimples? A boy with his dark hair and love of animals?

Jake chased away that thought. Dangerous territory.

Tori lifted the little girl in her arms. “Annabeth wanted to see the animals, so your dad and Claudia are going to show her the pigs and chickens while I tour your farm with you.”

He stuck out his hand. “Hey, Annabeth. It’s nice to see you again. My name’s Jake.”

She buried her face in Tori’s shoulder, then turned to give him a shy smile.

Tori kissed her on the cheek, then set her down. “Why don’t you run back to the house and see if Auntie C is ready to see the piggies.”

Annabeth ran across the yard, then turned back and gave them a little wave.

“She’s cute.”

“Yes, she is.” She handed him a brown lunch bag.

He took it, eying the grease stain on the bag. “What’s this?”

“Peace offering.”

He opened the bag to find two golden-topped biscuits. He reached for one, surprised to find it still warm, and took a bite. Butter rolled across his tongue. He swallowed a groan and took another bite.

Hands clasped in front of her, Tori bit the corner of her lip as she watched him.

Jake finished off the biscuit, licked the melted butter off his fingers and reached for his travel mug sitting on a fence post. “Thank you. That was...good.”

“Really?” Tori smiled. “I’m glad you liked it.”

“I haven’t had biscuits like that since Mom...well, in a long time.”

Tori wrapped her arms around her waist. “Actually, I made them using your mom’s recipe that Aunt Claudia had.”

“You made these?” Jake held up the bag. “But...” Jake’s voice trailed off. No sense in bringing up the past.

“I know. I used to burn toast. But I’m not that same girl anymore, Jake.” She searched his face, almost as if she was begging him to believe her.

Jake stared at her, feeling himself being pulled in by those eyes. He drank in her smooth skin, the faint sprinkle of freckles she always tried to cover with makeup and her parted bare lips.

The wind toyed with the stray hairs, brushing them across her cheek.

He fisted his hand to keep from touching her.

Westley nickered and pawed the dirt, jerking Jake’s attention away from Tori.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and reached for the saddle pad he’d laid over the fence. He carried it over to Buttercup and smoothed it over her back. He ran a hand over her neck, and then he looked at Tori. “Mind checking out the farm on horseback?”

“Kind of late to be asking that, aren’t you?” She tossed him a grin and reached for the saddle. She carried it over to Buttercup, rested it on the horse’s back, then made quick work of cinching the girth straps. She dusted off her knees and petted the horse. “Thanks to the summer camps my father sent me to, I can hold my own.”

Jake checked the tightness.

Tori rested a hand on his forearm. “Jake, I’ve been riding since I was a kid. I know what I’m doing.”

Reaching for the pommel, Tori put her foot in the stirrup and pulled herself into the saddle. The leather creaked as she seated herself. Buttercup back-stepped and nickered against the weight, tossing her mane. Tori leaned forward, whispered something in the horse’s ear and patted the side of her neck.

Jake saddled Westley and mounted the horse. “Westley and Buttercup were my parents’ horses. Dad can’t ride anymore and with Mom gone, they don’t get exercised as much as they should.”

One more thing to add to his growing to-do list.

“Princess Bride fans, huh?”

“Mom’s favorite movie.” Leading them out of the barnyard, Jake guided them to the side of the road. Traffic wouldn’t be a problem. Another reason he loved Holland Hill.

As they passed a worn, weathered red barn that sat between the farm and Tori’s property, she slowed Buttercup.

“Problem?”

She shook her head and pointed at the barn. “What’s that used for?”

“Nothing anymore. Well, not livestock. It’s the first barn my grandfather built and the only one to weather the tornado. Now it’s used mainly for storage.”

“Can I see it?”

Jake shrugged. “Sure.”

They dismounted, then he opened the fence to the pasture behind the barn for the horses to graze while he and Tori walked up the barn bridge and stood in the expansive doorway. Wings flapped from the rafters. Streams of sunshine beamed through the open windows to shine spotlights on the old wooden floor.

Tori stood under the loft and checked out the rafters. She turned to him with a grin. “What would you say to an old-fashioned barn dance?”

“Barn dance? For what?”

“A fund-raiser for your program. The best place to host an awareness campaign for your program would be on the property where it’s going to take place. Let’s bring people to Holland Hill. I’m picturing a small petting zoo for the kids, hayrides, a barbecue, perhaps an auction of items donated by local businesses, and end the evening with a barn dance right here. And if you were feeling adventurous, we could look into fireworks.”

“No fireworks, especially with veterans who can still hear the artillery fire in their heads when the rest of the world is quiet.”

“Sorry. I didn’t think of that.”

“And people would be willing to pay to attend?” Jake shot her his best “you can’t be serious” look, but she merely grinned.

“Of course, especially once they hear about the program. We’ll presell tickets so we have a general idea of how many people to expect. We’ll get vendors to give us discounts or even free products in exchange for advertising.” As she talked, Tori continued to examine the barn. “If your family wanted to branch out, this barn would be perfect for rustic weddings and receptions. Brides are into that kind of thing these days.”

Jake gave her a look like he had no clue what she was talking about.

“Just think about using the barn. Aunt Claudia mentioned how much you valued your privacy, but I believe hosting the fund-raiser here will give people an authentic view of your vision. People will invest in programs they can get behind.”

“After the tornado, we had all kinds of news crews up and down the hill. So, yeah, we do like our privacy, but I do hear what you’re saying. I’ll have to talk to Dad and Tuck.”

They headed to the pasture. Jake opened the fence and whistled. Westley and Buttercup trotted over to him, and he grabbed their reins.

“Let me know what you decide. In the meantime, I can put together some notes for you to share with them.” Tori mounted Buttercup and nodded down the road. “My house is right there. Want to stop by and see what needs to be done?”

The way Tori sat in the saddle released a memory of when they rode together on the beach during their weekend honeymoon. Did she remember? He wasn’t about to ask and head down that path. He glanced at his watch and shook his head. “Sorry. Can’t. I need to get some stuff done in the barn before heading to the fields. Another time?”

“Sure. No problem.”

Despite her smile, Tori’s voice sounded like she didn’t believe him, but she could think what she wanted. He had chores to do, but he could’ve pushed them back another hour. Truth was, he needed a break. Even though they managed to spend time together without bickering, he realized how easy it would be to get caught up in her charms. He couldn’t risk that again. Not when there was much more at stake this time. He needed to keep his focus on the program.

* * *

Tori was in over her head.

What made her think she could give up the city life and live in the country?

Sure, she could handle the ten-minute drive into Shelby Lake for a good cup of coffee. And she certainly didn’t mind the lack of traffic. Or even the smells that drifted downwind from the Holland Farm.

But, seriously, could she spend a lifetime living down the road from a man who wanted nothing to do with her? Again, she had no one to blame but herself. And it didn’t help that she’d sat up half the night making notes about Jake’s program. Maybe once he saw what she was capable of doing, he’d see the value in having her around.

But she needed to stop dwelling on Jake and make good use of the two kid-free hours she had to work on the house.

When Aunt Claudia offered to take Annabeth to the park with her grandchildren, Tori wasted no time in making a list. She always worked better with a plan.

Grabbing her phone and water bottle, she headed for the staircase to check out the second-floor bedrooms. If she could get those, the bathroom and the kitchen in working order, then she and Annabeth could move in sooner, then work on the other rooms as time and money allowed.

Aunt Claudia confessed to lacking the motivation to keep up the house once her husband had gotten sick and they moved into town. Hopefully, any work needing to be done was cosmetic and wouldn’t eat up her entire savings.

As she climbed the steps, Tori sucked in a breath as her thigh muscles quivered and protested each movement.

Did Jake suggest a horseback farm tour to see if she could handle it?

She’d ridden horses before. Lots of times. But she hadn’t been on one since...well, their honeymoon and the ride they’d taken on the beach.

Had he remembered? If so, he’d given no inclination.

Not that she expected him to.

At the top of the stairs, Tori scanned the small sitting area with a window that overlooked the backyard. She pictured a couple of cushy chairs with knitted afghans, a filled bookcase, a reading lamp and a patterned throw rug to soften the original hardwood floor. The faded yellow walls needed to be repainted. After dictating a few notes into her phone, she checked out each of the three bedrooms with identical hardwood floors. Thankfully, they needed nothing more than to be cleaned and repainted.

The bathroom was another matter. Sure, she could live with the aqua-colored tub and matching toilet and black linoleum and call it retro, but did she want to? Replacing them would put quite a dent in her savings.

What had Aunt Claudia been thinking by keeping the decades-old fixtures?

After snapping a few photos and taking more notes, Tori headed out of the room and noticed a door outside the bathroom at the top of the stairs. How had she missed that coming up? Probably because she’d been too busy whining to herself about climbing the Mount Everest steps.

Must be a linen closet.

She tried to turn the old-fashioned black knob, but it was tight. She turned harder, and the door popped open. She made a quick note to replace the knob and tucked the phone in the back pocket of her jeans.

Definitely not a closet. It had to be the entrance to the attic Aunt Claudia had mentioned. Tori had expected a pull-down set of rickety steps.

She peered up the steps, seeing nothing but shadows. Was she brave enough to venture into the unknown? And climb more stairs?

She felt the wall for a light switch and flicked it on before remembering the utilities hadn’t been turned on yet. Another thing to add to her to-do list.

A heavy musty odor hung over the darkness like an invisible curtain. Light filtered through a dirty rectangular window at the top of the stairs, casting shadows across dusty rafters and various-sized boxes.

Maybe she could open the window to air out the space.

Tori pulled her phone out and flicked on the flashlight, pointing it ahead of her. Dust motes danced in the narrow beam. The low-battery warning chimed. She’d have to hurry.

Cobwebs, burdened with dust, stretched between sturdy beams. The wooden floor creaked beneath her feet as she made her way to the window. She felt like she’d stepped inside a Nancy Drew novel, exploring with Nancy, George and Bess.

Something rustled to her right.

Tori froze, her heart hammering against her rib cage.

Maybe she didn’t need to open the window after all.

Pointing her phone in the direction of the noise, she flashed the light across a rusted metal tool chest, half a dozen boxes, stray limbs from an artificial Christmas tree and a plastic play kitchen missing a faucet.

She exhaled and shook her head.

Nothing to be afraid of.

Something soft and furry brushed against her ankle, and Tori yelped, jumping back. She shined the light to the floor as a tiny gray puff with a long tail scampered across her foot and disappeared into the darkness.

She screamed, dropped her phone and turned, slamming her toe against the metal toolbox. Pain shot across her foot.

Clenching her jaw to hold back another scream, Tori snatched her phone off the floor and half ran, half limped to the doorway.

She hurried down the stairs to find the door had closed behind her. She hadn’t even heard it. She twisted the tight knob, but it wouldn’t budge.

Oh. Come. On.

She rammed her shoulder against the door. She tried the knob one more time, turning with all the strength she could manage. She felt a pop, but instead of the door opening, the stupid knob broke off in her hand.

Terrific.

What was she going to do now?

Tori plopped down on the step and tossed the knob next to her. It clattered down the two stairs and rolled against the stuck door.

She sucked in a deep breath. Sweat beaded across her forehead as a chill stroked her arms. She gathered her knees to her chest and closed her eyes, focusing on slow, even breaths.

Think, Victoria.

There had to be some way of getting the door open.

Tiny feet scurried across the floor above her.

And soon.

Maybe the wretched toolbox she stubbed her toe against had a screwdriver or something in it.

She reached for her phone, turned on her music and blasted the volume as she limped back up the steps and flashed the light to guide her. She found the toolbox, reached for the latch and felt a small padlock.

Of course.

Her phone beeped, then dimmed in her hand.

She headed for the stairs while she had enough light to guide her path. She took another step, and the floor gave slightly, feeling a bit spongy. As she took one more step, her foot slid on a slick spot. She reached out to catch herself and dropped the phone, plunging her into darkness except for the light coming from the grimy window.

Her weight landed on her right side, forcing her foot through the damaged floorboard. She tried to pull her foot free, but pain knifed her ankle.

Tori’s chest shuddered as her breathing quickened and her pulse raced.

She was trapped with no way of calling for help. Darkness hooded her as the noises amplified.

Was that a squeak?

Something brushed against her arm. She batted at it.

She was back in the closet again. In her father’s house. But this time she wasn’t cradling a terrified Annabeth against her chest, trying to silence the little girl’s sobs so they wouldn’t be found by intruders plowing through the downstairs.

No.

She was safe.

In her own house.

But trapped.

Branches scratched against the windowpane, throwing long-fingered shadows across the room...reaching out for her. With no phone, how was she going to be able to call Aunt Claudia for help?

Help me, God.

Seconds became minutes.

Tires crunched in the driveway. A moment later, the doorbell rang. Then someone pounded on the door, calling her name.

Why had she locked the door?

Because she was a scaredy-cat.

A grown woman afraid to be in the house by herself.

And of the dark.

A moment later, an engine started.

“No! Don’t leave! Help me!” Tori’s cries, punctuated by sobs, bounced off the beams.

She tried to pull her foot free again and sucked in a sharp breath as the splintered wood razored her leg. She dropped to the floor and tried to pry the damaged wood away, but it broke off in pieces. A splinter speared her finger.

Heavy footsteps thundered up the staircase to the second floor.

Someone was in her house.

Tori brushed a hand over her face. “Help!”

Wood splintered with a loud crack, then swung free, throwing welcoming light up the darkened steps.

“Tori?” Jake’s voice caused fresh tears to fill Tori’s eyes.

She blinked them back. “I’m up here. My foot is stuck.”

He raced up the steps and swung a flashlight in her direction.

She threw up a hand to shield against the brightness. Jake hurried over to her. Handing her the flashlight, he knelt beside her. “Hold this.”

His gentle touch pressed against her bruised flesh as he worked a large enough area to pull her foot free from the rotted board. “There you go. You’re free.”

Jake cupped her elbow and helped her to stand.

Tori launched herself into his arms, nearly knocking him off balance. “Get me out of here.”

Jake scooped her into his arms and carried her down the steps, through the house and out the front door, where he deposited her gently on the top step of the front porch.

Tori gulped in a lungful of fresh air, wiped the backs of her hands across the dried trail of tears down her cheeks and forced a smile. “I’m not a damsel in distress, you know. I can take care of myself.”

“Everyone needs to be rescued at one point or another, and there’s no shame in that.” Jake looked at her a moment, then jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward his truck. “I have a first aid kit in the glove box. Let me grab it and clean up your leg a little.”

He returned a moment later and tore open an antiseptic wipe as she pulled up the leg of her jeans. Gritting her teeth, she tensed as the antiseptic wipe stung the cut above her ankle.

“Sorry.” He shot her a quick look. “What happened?”

Tori gave him a replay and tried not to wince as his fingers brushed across the torn skin. After cleaning the area, he ripped open three bandages and plastered them over the cut. “I don’t think it’s deep enough for stitches, but you can get it checked out if you want. Or I can have Tuck look it over once he wakes up—he works midnights.”

“I trust you. It’s just a cut. Nothing serious.” Tori reached for her phone but found her back pocket to be empty. Oh, that’s right—it had flown out of her hand. She heaved a sigh, causing Jake’s eyes to jerk to her face.

“You okay?”

She dragged a hand over her face and pressed it to her throbbing forehead. “My phone. It’s lost in the attic somewhere. Aunt C’s going to wonder where I am. How did you know I was here anyway?”

“I drove by, saw your car and decided to stop for a quick tour of the house to see what needs to be done. Looks like we’ll have to start by patching that hole.” Jake shot her a half smile that sent her heart skittering across her ribs. He gathered the trash, stuffed it into his front pocket and closed the first aid kit. “Are you okay to drive?”

“Of course. It’s nothing more than a bruise and a cut.”

He held out his hand to her. “Lean on me. I’ll get you to your car so you can rest for a moment, then I’ll go back to the attic to find your phone.”

Lean on me.

She’d love nothing more.

Jake wrapped an arm around her waist and guided her down the steps. She pressed her cheek into the softness of his T-shirt and inhaled the scent of hay mixed with sunshine. For the first time in a very long time, she felt safe. But knowing it was a momentary kindness—of Jake being Jake and helping out someone in need—filled her heart with sadness that threatened to buckle her knees.

She wanted his forgiveness. A fresh start. But that wasn’t possible. He’d made that clear already. And somehow she had to figure out how to live with that.

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