’Tis the season to be naughty...

Newly divorced and back in her hometown, Tatum Buchanan is trying to move on with her life. But she’s shocked to discover her ex-husband has rented out her childhood home to her high school sweetheart! And the last thing she expects to see is grown-up Spencer Ryan’s cut, hard body. Apparently Tatum’s libido doesn’t care that Spencer shattered her heart eight years ago...

With the holidays looming and Spencer’s presence in her house driving her wild, Tatum strikes a bargain with him—twelve days of no-strings sex. Just so she can get him out of her system. But when the twelve red-hot days of Christmas are over, Tatum isn’t sure she can say goodbye to Spencer on December 25!

Spencer stepped forward, erasing the small space between them.

His thumbs ran along Tatum’s jawline, tracing the soft skin of her neck and the shell of her ear. She closed her eyes and her lips parted, her breath escaping on unsteady gasps. He watched her response, her arousal driving him crazy. “How long?” he asked, his tone soft.

Her green eyes fluttered open. “How long?” she repeated, breathless.

“Since you’ve been...kissed.” He bit out the last word. “How long has it been since a man’s loved your body?”

“My body is none of your business.” But the tremor in her voice told him he wasn’t imagining this. Her hands gripped the counter edge as if she was holding herself back. She wanted him, even if she didn’t want to accept it.

“And it’s a damn shame,” he murmured, longing to pry her hands from the counter, to feel her fingers slide through his hair. Before he was through, she’d be holding on to him...

SASHA SUMMERS grew up surrounded by books. Her passions have always been storytelling, romance and travel. Whether it’s an easy-on-the-eyes cowboy or a hero of truly mythic proportions, Sasha falls a little in love with each and every one of her heroes. She frequently gets lost with her characters in the worlds she creates, forgetting those everyday tasks like laundry and dishes. Luckily, her four brilliant children and hero-inspiring hubby are super understanding and helpful.

Christmas in His Bed

Sasha Summers

www.millsandboon.co.uk

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Dear Reader,

There’s nothing like your first love. It’s intense and fiery, sweet and all-consuming—if it ends, the pain can be equally so. It took years for Tatum and Spencer to get over the wounds their long-ago breakup caused. But now that they’re thrown together again, their wounds take a backseat to the power of their attraction. Tatum’s never wanted someone like she wants Spencer. And Spencer’s never wanted anyone but Tatum. Once they give in to one another, neither is prepared for how severely their worlds are rocked.

Between the Christmas caroling, wedding showers and bedroom adventures, Spencer does his best to wear down Tatum’s resistance. But no matter how willing Tatum is to have Spencer in her bed, her heart is off-limits. Her heart is too broken to try love again.

I adore first-love stories. There’s something raw and vulnerable about them. And Tatum and Spencer are about as raw as a couple can get. Helping them make their way back to each other, find forgiveness and trust, is quite the emotional roller coaster—let me tell you. But I hope you enjoy the ride as much as I did!

I love to hear from readers so please find me on my website, sashasummers.com, on Facebook or Twitter, @sashawrites.

Enjoy every page,

Sasha Summers

Acknowledgments

Thank you to my amazing writer peeps. Writing might be a solitary profession, but I never feel alone. Your support and belief keep me writing.

Thanks, always, to my wonderful agent, Pamela Hopkins, and awesome editor, Johanna Raisanen. Your faith in my books means the world!

And my family—you guys are the best. I love you.

Dedication

To those whose first love is still their only love.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

About the Author

Title Page

Dear Reader

Acknowledgments

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Extract

Copyright

1

BEING BRALESS WAS as close to rebellious as Tatum had been in almost a decade. So was reading her third romance novel in a row, barely emerging from the nest of quilts she’d dragged to the comfy rocking chair in front of the now-dying fire. No makeup, no expectations, no worries. Day one of her new life was good.

When she was done reading, she could dig through her suitcase for her vibrator and some quality alone time. Or she could stay up reading all night long.

For the first time in her life, there was no one to stop her from doing whatever she wanted. And knowing that was...awesome.

She glanced at the old cuckoo clock over the mantel. Right now her ex-husband, Brent, and the new Mrs. Cahill, Kendra, were probably sipping umbrella drinks on some beach somewhere—if he’d actually taken a vacation. But knowing Kendra, she wouldn’t have given him a choice.

She burrowed into her quilts and added the book she’d finished to the pile at her feet. Her evening would be far more satisfying than a night with Brent and his tiny penis. Penis size aside, he had no stamina and had never taken an active interest in giving her pleasure. Tatum had always waited for him to head to the shower before finishing things off right with her handy-dandy purple-swirly love machine. She called him Chris, after her favorite movie actor. Brent and Chris had never met. Brent had no idea Chris existed.

She drained hot chocolate from her large Santa mug and stood, padding across the wooden floor in her socks and slippers to restart the Nat King Cole album. Maybe it was wrong that she was in such a good mood, newly divorced and absolutely alone on Christmas. But she was. She wanted to be happy. And right now, Nat King Cole, stimulating romance novels and copious amounts of hot chocolate were all she needed to be happy. And, maybe later, Chris.

She picked up the last book on the side table, reading the back blurb and its tantalizing promise of “eroticism on every page” with a sigh. But a slight movement from out the large picture window caught her eye. She froze, a prick of fear running down her spine.

A man stood on her front porch railing. A big man. So tall she couldn’t see his head or shoulders as he reached for something on the roof.

She edged closer to the fireplace and the brass poker resting against the wall. She might be alone, but she wasn’t helpless. She gripped the poker and made her way closer to the window.

But the man wasn’t armed with a weapon. He had a large coil of Christmas lights hanging around his shoulder. Christmas lights. She didn’t drop the poker, but her swing-first-question-second instinct wavered. Something about a man hanging Christmas lights brought the threat level down.

She lowered her weapon, watching as the man moved along the porch railing with ease, threading the heavy strand of lights on unseen hooks. He was fast. But why was he there, working so hard to decorate her house? He must run one of those decorating services. Maybe he was at the wrong house? She should stop him before he got too far.

She wrapped a throw around her shoulders and pushed through the front door, still holding her poker. A blast of cold air cut through her sweats and the thermal underwear beneath. Shit, shit and double shit. She’d forgotten how frigid North Texas could get. She hurried across the porch, but stopped a few feet from the man on the railing.

His leather jacket rode up as he worked. And his stomach... She swallowed. What a view. He stretched, exposing more actual man flesh than she’d seen in oh so long. And it was amazing. The kind of amazing even the best romance novels would have a hard time capturing.

Cut. Hard. All man. Every cleft and ridge of his six-pack was on display. His jeans hung low enough to reveal the edge of his hips. Just looking at him made her light-headed. Stunned. Excited. Achy.

Something deep inside her turned molten and fluid.

Her fingers twisted in the throw around her shoulders as her gaze followed the impressively dark happy trail that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans. What sort of surprises would be found underneath the skintight, faded jeans that clung to this man’s hips? She swallowed, her imagination offering up all sorts of possibilities. She was oh so tempted to touch that stomach.

Which was wrong. And completely unexpected. She’d never ever do something so irrational but...

But all that muscle and strength, the dark lines of a tattoo peeking wickedly from under the edge of his shirt, had her utterly captivated. What would it be like to touch a man like this? Better yet, what would it be like to have him touch her? A shiver racked her body. Brent had very specific preferences in bed—namely her lying still beneath him, quiet, aching for something more. Wanting something...more. More...like this.

She pressed her hand against her stomach and the delicious flare of liquid heat that coiled inside her. Maybe all that reading was getting to her.

This man wasn’t supposed to be here; he might even get in trouble for being here if he was hired to holiday-fy another house. She stepped closer, surprised to hear him humming a Christmas carol. The sound was deep and rough, an undeniable turn-on.

“Excuse me?” she said. “I think there’s been a mistake.”

No response. But one arm went higher, revealing more of the tattoo on his side. A feather? A quill? Covering a long scar along his ribs... And more muscles.

“Hello?” she tried again, a little louder.

He was on one foot then, reaching for something on the roof.

She stepped forward, considering the best way to get his attention. She blew out a deep breath. This was ridiculous. What was the matter with her? She reached out and tugged on one of his jeans belt loops.

“Hold up,” he called out. “Almost...got...it.” The strand of Christmas lights came on, casting the porch in hues of red and green.

She held her breath as he leaped down, eager to see what the rest of this man looked like. But the clear blue eyes that greeted her were a total surprise. The kind of surprise that left her breathless—and shocked.

No.

“Spencer?” Her voice was high and tight. Even now, after years, she knew him. Instant recognition—instant reaction. Her heart twisted sharply at the all-too-familiar blue eyes regarding her in astonishment. And her body was racked with something he’d inspired whenever he was close to her: desire.

Spencer Ryan. The very last person she wanted to see right now.

He stared at her, frozen. Why was he acting so surprised? It was her house. A house she’d practically run from years ago, because of him. She had every right to be here. He did not. She welcomed the anger warming her belly. Anger was good. Much better than...the other feelings bouncing around inside of her.

His gaze sharpened, searching hers. She tried to ignore that familiar pull tightening the pit of her stomach. “Tatum?” His voice was low, husky.

“Yeah... Hi,” she croaked. This is bad. So, so bad. Like she needed another bump to her already dinged confidence. Nothing like coming face-to-face with the man who had humiliated her, destroying her heart and her fragile ego eight years before. Yes, it was the holidays and there’d been a chance she’d run into him. But she’d hoped she wouldn’t. Definitely not her first night home. Not when she wasn’t ready to face him. And certainly not with crazy hair and no bra.

She tore her gaze from his, wrapping her arms around her waist. All the muscle and sexiness was Spencer? What the hell had happened to him? This Spencer barely resembled the clean-cut boy she’d held hands with in the halls of Greyson High School. Now he was big, almost intimidating—with shaggy black hair, a thick stubble covering his angular jaw and a new wariness about his clear blue eyes. Those eyes.

She forced her gaze away. She would not think about his eyes. Or his body. Or those abs. And that tattoo... Her pulse was racing just standing there. He was all hot in his gloriously ass-hugging jeans and broad-shoulder-hugging jacket while she wore a blanket.

“It’s been a long time,” he said, finally smiling. He hesitated briefly before pulling her against him in a warm embrace.

She stiffened. She didn’t want to hug him. He might look good—who was she kidding, he looked frigging amazing—but she knew what he was capable of. What sort of pain he could inflict. She knew that but... His hand pressed, open, against the base of her back. Even through the layers of fabric, she could feel the contours of his fingers and the warmth of his palm. And it—he—felt good.

Then she took a deep breath and inhaled his scent. She swallowed, trembling. Dammit. He smelled the same, teasing her...flooding every cell with a steady throb of want. “It has.” She didn’t know where the overwhelming urge to hold on to him came from, but she fought it. It shouldn’t matter that it had been too long since anyone had held her close. She wasn’t going to melt in his arms.

She pushed away from him, stepping back quickly.

His smile faded as he eyed the poker in her hands. “Prepared for battle?”

She blinked, looking at him, then the poker. “What?”

“Or is it some new fashion accessory I don’t know about?” He shot another pointed glance at the poker, crossing his thick arms over his broad chest. If she wasn’t pissed as hell at his sudden and irritating reappearance in her life, she might admire the shift of muscle in his forearms. But she was. She was pissed.

“Where I come from, a woman alone protects herself from strange men hanging off their porches.” She sounded unruffled and together—revealing none of her inner turmoil. “Especially when it’s in the middle of the night.”

He glanced at the open door behind her, then back at her.

“I’m a little tired for company and, since it is late, it’s best if you go,” she said over her shoulder, heading back inside and out of the cold—away from him. Her voice wasn’t shaking. She didn’t look like she was retreating. Even if that was sort of what she was doing. But she sort of had to because she couldn’t seem to get a handle on the way she was reacting to him.

But he didn’t move. He just stood there, a strange expression on his face. “I’m sorry I scared you.” He held up his hands. “If I’d known you were here, alone, I would have said something first.”

“Before you decorated my house?” she asked, holding the doorknob.

He planted his hands on his hips and shook his head. “Yeah, about that. It was made perfectly clear by the lady in charge that this needed to be done now or suffer the consequences.”

What the hell did that mean? “The lady in charge? Sounds like your wife takes the holidays as seriously as your mother.”

“No wife,” he clarified, placing an odd emphasis on the word no before chuckling. “I was talking about the head of the neighborhood association.”

“Why would they bother you with that?” she asked, more and more confused.

He pulled his keys from his pocket, watching her intently. “Guess Brent didn’t tell you I was renting the place?”

Her lungs emptied painfully. “No, no, he didn’t,” she muttered, reeling. Brent hadn’t told her a lot of things.

“Six months now. After the last tenants left? You didn’t notice my stuff? In the master bedroom?”

“I didn’t know,” she murmured. “I’m staying in my old room.” Was this Brent’s idea of a joke? Not that she’d told him much about Spencer. But he knew enough. He knew Spencer Ryan had been her first love and that he’d broken her heart.

And now he was living in her house. The place she needed to regroup and recover.

“You remember how the town gets around the holidays?” he asked, seemingly unaware of her discomfort. “That hasn’t changed.” He shrugged. “I’ve been on assignment for over a week and I’m running out of time. So that’s why I was hanging lights. Now. At night. In the cold.”

He was decorating her house...because it was also his house? It wasn’t some horrible mistake. But what the hell was she supposed to do? It wasn’t like she was going to let him stay. No matter what time of the night it was. But she couldn’t think of a single coherent thing to say.

He shivered. “It’s a damn cold night.” He grinned.

“I guess this means I have to let you in?” she asked, seriously considering shutting the door in his grinning face. He thought this was funny? Did he not remember the last time they saw each other? The things he’d said? She thought she’d never recover.

“That’d be the neighborly thing to do.” He brushed past her, elbowing the door shut behind him.

“Right. Neighborly,” she tried not to snap. Why was he surveying the room?

Why did he have to have that ass?

Her anger died a little. It was really hard to hate him while thoroughly appreciating the way his jeans hugged the muscles of his thighs. And his ass. That was definitely worth a long, thorough inspection. She swallowed, forcing her eyes up before he saw her. But he was still looking around the house, curious. “What are you looking for?”

He turned, his blue gaze pinning hers, and shook his head. “Nothing.”

Obviously he was lying. It was clear he was looking for something. But what. His gaze was far too...intense and probing. And more than a little unsettling. More than a little...affecting. But words wouldn’t come.

“Home for the holidays?” he asked, his voice deep and rough.

She mumbled, “Yes.” Then added, “And no.” Why was she answering him? Why wasn’t she telling him to leave?

His crooked grin caused her heart to thump heavily in her chest. Not the most reassuring response. “That’s cryptic.” He shook his head.

Maybe it was, but she didn’t feel the need to say more. Yet she couldn’t seem to manage, “Get out now,” so she stood there, her awareness increasing and the silence stretching out. He sighed, that gaze never leaving her face. She couldn’t seem to look away. Or think. A cold shower was definitely in her future. Or Chris. Lots of Chris time.

He was saying something, but her mind was too busy processing everything to hear him. Oh, God. In less than thirty minutes she’d gone from content to distressed. And it was all Spencer’s fault. Again.

“I’d offer to stay across the street at my mom’s but she’s got a full house, with the holidays and all.” His words were soft, echoing in her ears.

She frowned at him, wrapping her arms around her waist. “One of us needs to find a hotel.”

“I haven’t slept in a few days, Tatum. I’d appreciate one night in my own bed. I’m not here much—the empty fridge and pantry can confirm that. I’ll stay out of your way.” He did look tired. His blue eyes were bloodshot and there were bags under his eyes. “I don’t even snore.”

“Spencer—”

“I can move into your room,” he offered.

He was sleeping in her parents’ room. Which was good—she wasn’t ready to go there. Any and all memories of her mom could wait behind that closed door for a few more days. “No,” she said. “I w-wouldn’t sleep in there.”

“I’m sorry about your mom,” he said, grabbing her attention.

Tatum nodded. She hadn’t visited Greyson since her mother’s death three years before. “It’s strange to be here and have it so quiet.” She shrugged, not wanting to share with him.

But Spencer had known better than most about her mother and her fits of temper. When she’d been on a real tear, her mother could be heard all up and down Maple Drive. Her mother’s anger and bitterness had been one of the reasons she’d gone to live with her father her senior year of high school. Spencer had been the other.

“You look good, Tatum.” His voice pitched low, all gravel.

She was acutely aware of the way his eyes leisurely swept her from head to toe. When his attention returned to her face, his jaw was locked. Was that disapproval on his face? Or—her heart was thumping—was it something else? She didn’t know how to read the tension that rolled off of him. But it was unnerving as hell. His gaze narrowed, piercing hers. What was he trying to figure out?

“Tatum?” Her name. His voice. She felt a shudder run down her back.

“No, I don’t.” Her words spilled from her lips. She looked like hell and she knew it. “You look different,” she admitted. Different was an understatement. Even if her response to him was the same: hyperaware. When he was close, she’d felt it. Right now, she was feeling all sorts of things that made her nervous and excited and tense. Dammit.

He cocked a questioning eyebrow her way.

She shrugged. “There’s...more of you.” Including abs and tattoos and the lovely dark happy trail disappearing beneath his waistband. She needed to stop talking—and thinking—immediately. Instead, she stared at his chest, encased in a skintight gray shirt and leather jacket. What was absolutely terrifying was how badly her fingers itched to explore him. No. No exploring. Evicting. Immediate evicting.

He laughed. “More of me?”

His laughter rolled over her, leaving her tingling in all the right places. Dammit. It was cruel that he’d turned out even more beautiful than she remembered. And completely unfair. He’d broken her heart, made her doubt her judgment and left her unbelieving she was worthy of love.

How dare he stand there, teasing her, acting like he wasn’t the bad guy. She knew better. It wasn’t like he was just some dangerously good-looking man making her house all festive while waking up every one of her lady-part nerves. If only that were the case.

“Tatum?” he whispered, coming to stand in front of her. “You okay?”

She nodded. Her attention wandered to his mouth, leaving her breathless. Would his touch feel the same? His lips had branded her skin, magic against her lips... No, she wasn’t okay. If she was, she wouldn’t be dragging up memories better left buried.

Besides, he didn’t deserve to touch her. To kiss her. And she needed to stop thinking of that. Of him—naked. Of what she wanted to do to him—naked. This was Spencer. And the two of them would not be getting naked together.

Even if he is way more exciting than my vibrator. The thought sent another shudder through her.

“You cold?” His voice was gruff and rumbling—shaking her to the core.

“No,” she managed, her tongue thick and her throat tight. She wasn’t cold. For the first time in a long time, she was feeling delectably hot. The only problem with this scenario was he was the one making her feel this way.

She stepped around him, hoping to quiet the desire surging through her veins. Her overstimulated reaction to him made no sense. She didn’t like him. Maybe this is what happens when you go for more than a year without sex? “But I need something to drink and you need to...to go to bed,” she said, glancing at him. “One night,” she added, knowing she was a coward. But it was after midnight, cold, and she wasn’t heartless.

“Okay. One night. I’ll crash here tonight and look into staying somewhere else while you’re in town.” He was staring at her again. “If you’re sure Brent won’t mind?”

She nodded. Brent so won’t mind. She headed into the kitchen, deliberately avoiding his gaze. She could sleep under the same roof; she could be an adult. But she wasn’t going to talk about her marriage or her divorce with him.

He followed her. “Why is it so cold in here? Pilot light go out again?” he asked, rubbing his hands together. “Brent couldn’t get it to work?”

“The heat won’t come on.” She pointed at the fireplace over her shoulder. “But at least I got the fire going, even if I did burn my thumb and singe some hair.” She held her thumb up.

She hadn’t expected him to cradle her hand in his or hold up her thumb for a thorough inspection. She wanted to yank her hand away and scowl at him... No, she didn’t. Which was worse.

His gaze locked with hers. “Some homecoming.” His hold went from reassuring to overwhelming. “I am sorry about tonight. Not the way I’d imagined seeing you again.” His words shook her. The rhythmic stroke of his thumb along her wrist turned her insides fluid.

Not the way I’d imagined seeing you again.

She blew out a deep breath. “It’s...it’s fine.” Her words were a raspy whisper but she managed to pull her hand from his. No touching. Touching was bad. And more space was good too. She stepped back, wrapping her arms around her waist. “I...I can call a repairman in the morning.”

He glanced at her hand, then back at her, his eyes narrowing. “I’ll fix it before we go to bed.”

We go to bed. She swallowed, staring at the floor so her face wouldn’t betray her thoughts. “Thanks.”

“What’s going on?” he asked softly.

“What do you mean?” She knew what he meant. But her life was none of his business. And, dammit, she was having a hard time thinking straight with him standing there staring at her that way. She needed to stay cool. And keep him at arm’s length. So she busied herself in the kitchen, pulling out the milk, a saucepan and some cocoa packets.

He followed her, standing too close. “You’re here alone, basically in the dark, without heat. Alone.”

She put the kettle on the burner, her hands and her voice unsteady. “Did you have to say that twice?” she asked.

“I guess that’s the thing I’m most hung up on,” he confessed.

He was standing behind her, his warmth rolling over her. “It is?” She glanced back at him, the questions in his gaze enough to turn her back to cocoa making. “I assure you, you don’t need to be hung up on anything that has to do with me, okay?” She tried to sound flippant but it didn’t work.

“Old habits die hard. I know how to read you. I always have.” There was an edge to his voice.

“Maybe. When we were kids,” she agreed. But they definitely weren’t kids anymore. And even if he had known what she was thinking—wanting—before she had, didn’t mean he did now. That was a long time ago. “Right now I want cocoa. And peace and quiet.” She spun around to face him, shoving the mug into his hand. “Good night.”

“Trying to get rid of me?” he asked, glancing at the mug she’d placed in his hands before leveling her with the weight of his gaze once more.

“I didn’t realize that was unclear.”

He chuckled.

She was very proud that she didn’t smile at him. Because his smile was hard to resist. He was hard to resist. Because, honestly, she would happily replace her swirly purple battery-operated love machine with this new manlier version of Spencer. She choked on her sip of cocoa. Please, God, don’t let him figure out what I’m thinking. And wanting.

“Brent’s not here.” He paused. “You’re alone.” He swallowed, his gaze searching her face as he leaned forward, placing his mug on the counter, his large hands on either side of her—effectively pinning her against the counter.

“So?” She didn’t deny it. She was alone. She was relieved her out-of-control hunger for him had somehow escaped his notice. But now that she was so close, that wouldn’t last for long. Her heart was slamming against her ribs and breathing was becoming increasingly difficult. Because breathing drew in his scent, his tantalizing, captivating, enticing scent.

“And there’s this.” He pointed at her, then himself—stepping so close that his breath fanned her hair. “There’s still a hell of a...connection between the two of us.” He practically growled the words. Her body tightened, expectant, at the sound of his undeniable hunger.

For her.

His attention wandered to her mouth, leaving no doubt what he wanted. He felt it too. Of course he did.

She could sway into him, give in... But she should fight it. Even if his lips were so close. “Yes.” It took a lot of effort to form a coherent answer.

“Yes?” he repeated, his nostrils flaring as his gaze locked with hers.

“Yes. I am alone.” Her voice wavered.

He shook his head, the muscle in his jaw hard as rock. “That’s all?” he asked. “I won’t touch another man’s wife.” He ground out the words. “But, dammit, I want to kiss you so bad it hurts.”

Kiss me. She stared at him, gripped by a crushing, desperate ache. Touch me. “I’m no man’s wife. But I don’t want you to kiss me,” she whispered.

2

SPENCER STARED DOWN at her, his nerves strung so tight he worried he’d pop.

Tatum was here.

And all he could think about was touching her, tasting her. Silk. Warmth. Pure temptation. And even though he had no right to touch her, to think of her tangled up with him, he couldn’t stop himself. His body responded to her without reason, as if they hadn’t been living separate lives for years.

Her quiver revealed her lie. She wasn’t immune to him.

“I don’t believe you,” he argued.

She drew in a wavering breath. “I don’t care what you believe.” There was an edge to her voice. She wasn’t immune to him—but she was going to fight it.

Her green eyes clashed with his and he smiled at her. This was Tatum. The girl who’d stolen his heart, the girl he’d lived for. The girl he’d crushed, shredding his own heart in the process. He’d missed her every day for the last eight years.

He reached up, smoothing an errant curl from her forehead. “Your hair is longer.”

She didn’t say anything as he threaded the curl between his fingers. The curl coiled around him, clinging to him the way he envisioned her clinging to him.

“So is yours,” she whispered.

A woman alone protects herself. He’d heard her. No man’s wife. For the first time, nothing was stopping them. Except maybe the defiance in her gaze.

He saw the way she looked at his mouth, the way her lips parted and her hands tightened on the counter’s edge. There was a restlessness about her he’d never seen in her before. She was nervous... That was obvious. Hell, he was nervous. But it was more than that. It was their past. What he’d done was reprehensible. Could she still hate him so much that she couldn’t bear to be close to him?

Or did she hate that she still wanted him?

From the look on her face, it’d be all too easy to assume it was the latter. Because that was what he wanted. Badly. The way she was looking at him now, flushed and dazed, focused on his mouth... He hadn’t been this hard since he was sixteen.

He stepped forward, erasing the small space between them. His thumbs ran along her jawline, tracing the soft skin of her neck and the shell of her ear. She closed her eyes, her lips parted, her breath escaping on unsteady gasps. He watched her response, her arousal driving him crazy. “How long?” he asked, his tone soft.

Her green eyes fluttered open. “How long?” she repeated, breathless.

“Since you’ve been...kissed.” He bit out the last word. “How long has it been since a man’s loved your body?”

“My body is none of your business.” But the tremor in her voice told him he wasn’t imagining this. Her hands gripped the counter edge as if she was holding herself back. She wanted him, even if she didn’t want to accept it.

“And it’s a damn shame,” he murmured, longing to pry her hands from the counter, to feel her fingers slide through his hair. Before he was through, she’d be holding on to him.

He smiled as his lips brushed her startled mouth—featherlight, a whisper of a touch. She shuddered as his nose traced the length of her neck. “You smell just as sweet,” he murmured. He sucked her earlobe into his mouth, her little sigh making the hair on the back of his neck stand up straight. “You taste the same.” It was true. And it was torture. When he pressed her back, pinning her hips against the cabinets, the feel of her curves against him almost brought him to his knees.

His mouth brushed hers once, still teasing. He tilted her head back, nipping her lower lip. Her lips were so damn soft. He pulled, sucking her plump lower lip until her lips parted. The tip of her tongue...stroking the curve of his lip. Damn.

He groaned, leaning into her, sealing her mouth with his and sliding his tongue into the hot recesses of her mouth. Her hand tangled in his hair, anchoring him firmly so she could deepen their kiss. And she did, the touch of her satin tongue making him groan. Her sudden hunger spurred him on. He gripped her hips, lifting her onto the kitchen counter. She wrapped a leg around his waist and pulled him close—arching into him.

His kiss wasn’t gentle; his tongue demonstrated exactly what he wanted from her. And the soft moan, her grip on his hair, told him she wanted it too. His hold on her hips tightened as he ground against her. He tore his mouth from hers, groaning against the hollow of her throat at the building friction between them. She cried out when his mouth latched on to her neck. He devoured her, holding her tightly, wanting more.

It had always been this way with her. All that mattered was the feel of her, her response, the way she touched him.

But as quickly as she reached for him, she withdrew. Her hold went from clinging to pushing against his chest. “Spencer,” she gasped. Fighting this—fighting him. He heard her deep, unsteady inhalation as she attempted to put some space between them.

Space he didn’t want. He stepped back, breathing hard.

“Spencer,” she repeated. Her voice was low and husky.

He looked at her. God, he wanted her. He hurt from wanting her. He was breathing heavy and losing control. He knew it, but he couldn’t apologize for it. She drove him crazy, made him lose his head. She always had.

“If we’re doing this... It’s one time.” Her eyes bored into his. “Only once.”

He frowned, cupping her face in his hands. “Once?” He’d been half expecting her to tell him to leave. Now she was telling him they were going to have sex. But only once?

“I don’t want to think...” She paused, her voice unsteady. “I want to feel alive...to feel something.”

Her words cut through him. He didn’t know what had happened with her marriage. Had she been mistreated? Heartbroken? She wanted one night, nothing more. And could he handle that, with the history they had, the feelings he still harbored? He knew one thing: refusing her was impossible.

Her green eyes bored into his, waiting, searching—and hungry.

Still, he had to be sure. “Tatum, I’m not sure—”

She pressed her fingers to his lips. “If the answer’s no, just say it. Otherwise, I’d rather we didn’t do much talking.”

He raised an eyebrow. Because talking meant thinking. And she’d already made it clear she didn’t want to overthink this. He should tell her no and walk away. Instead, he was going to give her what she wanted, what he wanted. “I’m not saying no.” He tilted her head back, making sure she was listening. “You want me to kiss you, Tatum? To touch you?” he asked.

Her eyes widened. “Yes.” The quiver in her voice shook him, stirring a possessiveness he hadn’t felt since they were young and in love. He swallowed back the wash of memories—and regret—and focused on the job at hand.

She wanted to feel alive. He’d give it his all. And enjoy every damn minute of it.

His hands cupped her face, his thumbs tracing her lower lip before he pressed his mouth to hers. His lips parted hers, sealing their mouths and mixing their breaths. When she trembled, he smiled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight against him. She was soft and warm, moving against him and gripping his shirt. He kissed her until she was clinging to him, her body molding to his, her tongue making him dizzy. Whatever she wanted, he’d give her.

He paused long enough to turn off the stove and swing her up into his arms. She twined her arms around his neck, her fingers slipping into his hair as he carried her into the living room. He set her on her feet long enough to toss the couch cushions onto the floor in front of the fire, then knelt in front of her.

His hands settled at her waist, working the fabric of her top free from the waist of her leggings. Her skin contracted beneath his fingertips, quivering. He looked up at her as his mouth brushed across her bare abdomen. She gasped, her fingers running through his hair. His lips skimmed her stomach, her waist. Her fingers tightened, tugging. He was mesmerized by the wonder on her face and the feel of her skin. Soft as silk. His hands slid up her sides and around her back, his fingers exploring every bump of her spine.

Her hands moved, settling on his shoulders to fist in the fabric of his shirt.

He lifted her hands, kissing each finger before pulling his shirt off. Her reaction was unexpected. He wanted her to touch him, hoped she would. Instead, she stared at him, slowly dropping to her knees. Her breathing was erratic, so rapid he worried she’d hyperventilate. Her hands stayed put, pressed flat against her thighs.

“Breathe, Tatum,” he whispered.

She nodded, staring at his chest.

“You okay?” he asked.

She nodded, still staring at his chest.

Tatum had never shied away from telling him what she wanted. There’d been times he’d had to put on the brakes. But now she seemed hesitant. “Want me to put my shirt back on?”

She shook her head. “No,” she croaked.

“Talk to me,” he encouraged, taking her hand. How many times had they ended up twined together, too caught up to know where one ended and the other began? It had been natural between them, easy. But now she seemed uncertain and it tore him up inside. “Tell me what you want. What you like.”

She looked at him, blinking rapidly, but said nothing.

He pressed her hand against his chest. Her gaze fixed on her hand, her lips parting as her fingers traced the valley between his pectorals. “Whatever you want, Tatum...” He couldn’t finish his sentence. The way she was looking at him made it impossible for him to say a word.

Her breathing echoed in the quite room, her attention focused solely on his bare chest and stomach. He was spellbound by the fascination on her face.

One second she was sitting there, facing him, her touch tentative. The next he was lying back on the pile of pillows, her hesitation replaced by desperate curiosity. He watched her expression, aware of every move her hands and fingers made. She bent over him, her long golden hair spilling onto his stomach as her lips and tongue explored the super-sensitized flesh of his nipple.

He reached up to thread his fingers in her hair, absorbing every caress and stroke. She took her time, exploring every inch of him with her soft hands and mouth. Her teeth nipped his side, her nails ran the length of his arms, and she kissed and sucked her way down his abdomen. He could barely breathe. Her tongue dipped into his belly button and he arched into her, groaning as her warm mouth brushed across his skin. “Dammit, Tatum.”

She unfastened his pants, clasping the waist of his jeans and tugging his boxers off with them. She sat back on her heels then, staring at his prominent erection. No way could she miss the way he was throbbing, aching, for her. He shuddered as her fingers lightly stroked the length of him. But the noise she made, a strange broken cry, drew his focus back to her.

She tugged her shirt off, standing to remove her pants. She wavered on unsteady legs, so he sat up and helped her frantically peel off the two pairs of leggings and more socks. When she was as naked as he was, he had to touch her. He buried his face against her side, pressing a kiss against the swell of her hip, before pulling her down with him. Her lips found his, their tongues touching and stroking. He slid his hand through her hair, holding her close, savoring the taste of her as every curve and angle of her body fitted against his.

He didn’t know how much more he could take. He needed her, needed to be inside of her, now. But that wouldn’t be fair. He’d barely touched her. He wanted to touch her. And clearly, she needed to be touched. He wanted to make her fall apart, to lose control, to find a release. Again and again.

His hand cupped her breast, drawing her nipple deep into his mouth. She made that strange little cry again. He looked at her, at the way she bit her lower lip.

“I want to hear you,” he murmured. “I want to know when you like something.”

He rolled her nipple between his fingers and thumb, watching her. His tongue flicked the tip. She groaned, crying out when his mouth latched on to the other nipple.

He lifted her arms over her head, kissing along her sides, sucking the skin until he knew he’d leave marks. His hands were busy too, stroking the curve of her hip, the underside of her breast, the soft skin of her inner thigh. When his fingers traced the slick flesh between her legs, she made that strangled cry.

“Don’t hold back, Tatum,” he demanded, stroking the nub of nerves at her core. “Not with me.” His finger parted her, sliding deep. He groaned at the feel of her, closing his eyes at her tight heat gloving his finger. He moved, stroking her skin, filling her. His thumb set an urgent rhythm against the taut bud, his finger doing the job his body ached to do. And the sounds she made... Pure torture.

Her hands gripped his shoulders as she arched into his touch. He cupped her breast, gently running his teeth over the tip as he added another finger. She was so tight around him. He groaned, burying his face against her breast and gritting his teeth against the need to bury himself inside of her. “You feel so good.” He all but growled the words.

She cried out, long and ragged. He watched her face as her body contracted around his fingers. She grabbed his arm, holding his hand in place as she rode out her climax. It was the sexiest damn thing he’d ever seen. She was beautiful. So damn beautiful. And he wanted to see that look, that stunned, frantic release, on her face again.

She opened her eyes, gasping. “That was so...so much better than a vibrator.”

He was so surprised, he laughed. And then she was laughing too.

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