About the Authors

SCARLET WILSON wrote her first story aged eight and has never stopped. Her family have fond memories of Shirley and the Magic Purse, with its army of mice, all with names beginning with the letter ‘M’. An avid reader, Scarlet started with every Enid Blyton book, moved on to the Chalet School series and many years later found Mills & Boon.

She trained and worked as a nurse and health visitor, and currently works in public health. For her, finding Medical Romances was a match made in heaven. She is delighted to find herself among the authors she has read for many years.

Scarlet lives on the West Coast of Scotland with her fiancé and their two sons.

NINA SINGH lives outside of Boston, USA with her husband, children, and a very rambunctious yorkie. After several years in the corporate world, she finally followed the advice of family and friends to ‘give the writing a go already’. She’s oh-so-happy she did. When not at her keyboard, she likes to spend time on the tennis court or golf course. Or immersed in a good read.

JOANNA NEIL loves writing romance and has written more than sixty books for Mills & Boon. Before her writing career started she had a variety of jobs, which included being a telephonist, a clerk, as well as nursing and work in a hospital pharmacy. She was an infant teacher for a number of years before her love of writing took over. Her hobbies include dressmaking, cooking, and gardening.

Love Islands: Summer Kisses

The Doctor She Left Behind

Scarlet Wilson

Miss Prim and the Maverick Millionaire

Nina Singh

Her Holiday Miracle

Joanna Neil

www.millsandboon.co.uk

ISBN: 978-1-474-09523-5

Love Islands: Summer Kisses

The Doctor She Left Behind © 2015 Scarlet Wilson Miss Prim and the Maverick Million © 2017 Nilay Nina Singh Her Holiday Miracle © 2015 Joanna Neil

Published in Great Britain 2019

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

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www.millsandboon.co.uk

Version: 2020-03-02

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Table of Contents

Cover

About the Authors

Title Page

Copyright

The Doctor She Left Behind

Dedication

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

EPILOGUE

Miss Prim and the Maverick Millionaire

Back Cover Text

Dedication

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

Her Holiday Miracle

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

EPILOGUE

About the Publisher

The Doctor She Left Behind

Scarlet Wilson

For Cathy McAuliffe, Catherine Bain and Shirley

Bain with lots of love for the women who manage

to put up with all these Bain boys!

CHAPTER ONE

‘YOU REALLY THINK this is a good idea?’ Nathan Banks shook his head. Nothing about this sounded like a good idea to him.

But Lewis nodded. ‘I think it’s a great idea. I need a doctor. You need a job.’

‘But I already have a job.’ He lifted his hands. ‘At least I think I do. Is my contract not being renewed?’

His stomach turned over a little. Last night had been a particularly bad night in A & E. His medical skills were never in question but his temper had definitely been short. It hadn’t been helped by hearing a car backfire on the walk home and automatically dropping to the ground as if it were gunfire. His last mission for Doctors Without Borders had been in a war zone. Dropping to the floor when you heard gunfire had become normal for him. But doing it in the streets of Melbourne? Not his proudest moment. Particularly when a kid on the way to school had asked him what was wrong.

Lewis smiled. The way he always did when he was being particularly persuasive. Nathan had learned to spot it over the years. ‘The last few days in A & E have been tough. You came straight out of Doctors Without Borders after five years and started working here. You’ve never really had a holiday. Think of this as your lucky day.’

Nathan lifted the buff-coloured folders. ‘But this isn’t a holiday. This is a form of torture. My idea of a holiday is walking in the hills of Scotland somewhere, or surfing on Bondi Beach. Being stranded on an island with nine B-list celebrities? I’m the least celeb-orientated person on the planet. I couldn’t care less about these people.’

Lewis nodded. ‘Exactly. That’s what makes you perfect. You can be objective. All you need to do is supervise the fake TV challenges and monitor these folk’s medical conditions for the three weeks they’re on the island. The rest of the time you’ll get to sit around with your feet up.’ He bent over next to Nathan and put one hand on his shoulder, waving the other around as if he were directing a movie. ‘Think of it—the beautiful Whitsunday islands, the surrounding Coral Sea, luxury accommodation and perfect weather with only a few hours’ work a day. What on earth could go wrong?’

Nathan flipped open the first folder. Everything about this seemed like a bad idea. It was just a pity that the viewing public seemed to think it was a great one. Celebrity Island had some of the best viewing figures on the planet. ‘But some of these people shouldn’t be going to a celebrity island, let alone doing any challenges. They have serious medical conditions.’

Lewis waved his hand. ‘And they’ve all had milliondollar medicals for the insurance company. The TV company needs someone with A & E experience who can think on their feet.’

‘I hardly think epidemic, natural disaster and armed conflict experience is what a TV crew needs.’

Lewis threw another folder towards him. ‘Here. Read up on snake bites, spiders and venom. The camp will be checked every night but you can’t be too careful.’

The expression on Lewis’s face changed. The hard sell wasn’t working and it was obvious he was getting desperate.

‘Please, Nathan. I agreed to this contract before I knew Cara was pregnant. I need to find someone to replace me on the island. The last thing I want is to end up sued for breach of contract. You’re the one person I trust enough to ask.’

Nathan took a long, slow breath. Working for a TV company was the last thing he wanted to do. But Lewis was right. He was close to burnout. And in some ways he was lucky his friend had recognised it. How bad could three weeks on an island in the Coral Sea be? The celebs might have to sleep by a campfire but the production crew were supposed to have luxury accommodation. He shook his head. ‘Why didn’t you just tell me this was about Cara’s pregnancy?’

Lewis looked away for a second. ‘There have been a few issues. A few complications—a few hiccups as we’ve got closer to the end. We didn’t really want to tell anyone.’ He slid something over the desk towards him. ‘Here, the final sweetener. Look at the pay cheque.’

Nathan’s eyes boggled. ‘How much?’ He shook his head again. ‘It doesn’t matter what the pay cheque is, if you’d told me this was about Cara I would have said yes right away.’ He lifted his hands. ‘I would have volunteered and done it for nothing. Sometimes you’ve got to be straight with people, Lewis.’

Lewis blinked, as if he was contemplating saying something else. Then he gave his head a little shake. ‘Thank you, Nathan.’ He walked around and touched Nathan’s shoulder. ‘I need a medic I can trust. You’ll have back-up. Another doctor is flying out from Canberra to join the TV crew too. Last year I was there I worked twelve hours—tops—over three weeks. Trust me. This will be the easiest job you’ve ever had.’

Nathan nodded slowly. It still didn’t appeal. He had a low tolerance to all things celebrity. But three weeks of easy paid work in a luxury location? He’d have to be a fool to say no. Plus, Lewis had helped him when he’d landed in Australia straight out of Doctors Without Borders and with no job. Of course he’d help. ‘What happens when I get back?’

Lewis met his gaze. ‘You’re a great medic. We’re lucky to have you. I’ll give you another six-month contract for A & E—if you want it, of course.’

He hesitated only for a second. Lewis was one of his oldest friends and he knew they’d waited four years for Cara to fall pregnant. There was no way he could let him down. Even if it was the last place on this earth he wanted to go.

He picked up the pen. ‘Tell Cara I’ll be thinking about her. Okay, where do I sign?’

Rachel Johnson took a few final moments lying on the sun lounger at the pool. She couldn’t believe for a second she was getting paid for this.

She’d been here two days and hadn’t had to do a minute of work. Apparently her job started as soon as she hit the island. Which was fine by her. From what she’d seen of the nine celebrities taking part in Celebrity Island, she suspected they ranged from mildly whiny to difficult and impossible. Her old university friend Lewis Blake had persuaded her to take part and the fee was astronomical. But that wasn’t why she was here.

She was here because her Hippocratic oath seemed to have her over a barrel. Her ex—an Australian soap star—was taking part. And she was one of the few that knew his real medical history. It seemed that one of his bargaining chips had been to ask for a doctor he could trust. And even though there was nothing between them, part of her felt obliged to help.

‘Are you ready, Dr Johnson? The seaplane has just landed.’

Rachel jumped up from the comfortable lounger and grabbed her rucksack packed with her clothes. Two days staying in the luxury five-star resort had been bliss. All the medical supplies she would need had already been shipped. Apparently the other medic was already on the island. And since there was no way off the island for the next three weeks she hoped it was someone she could work with. Between the two of them, they would be on call twenty-four hours a day for three weeks. Lewis had assured her that apart from monitoring the challenges there really wasn’t anything to do. But, as much as she loved him, Lewis had always been economical with the truth.

Rachel climbed into the seaplane that was bobbing on the blue ocean. She’d never been in one of these before and the ride was more than a little bumpy. But the view over the island worth it.

The pilot circled the island, letting her see the full geography. ‘This is the beach where some of the celebrities will be dropped off. The beach on the other side is for the crew. It has umbrellas, sun loungers and a bar—so don’t worry, you’ll be well looked after.’ As he crossed the middle of the island the view changed to a thick jungle. ‘Camp is in the middle,’ he said. ‘Don’t tell anyone but they actually have a rain canopy they can pull overhead if we get one of the seasonal downpours. We didn’t have it the first year and the whole camp got swept away in a torrent of water.’

Rachel shifted uncomfortably in her seat. That sounded a little rougher than she’d expected. ‘Where will I be staying?’

He pointed to some grey rectangular buildings in the distance. ‘The three big grey buildings are the technical huts and production gallery. You’ll be staying in a portable cabin. The medical centre is right next to you.’ He let out a laugh that sounded more like a pantomime witch’s cackle. ‘Just next to the swamp and the rope bridge. The celebrities love those.’ He gave Rachel a nod. ‘I won’t tell you how many of them have fallen off that rope bridge.’

For a second her throat felt dry. Lewis’s version of the truth was already starting to unravel. A portable cabin and a hotel were not the same thing. Her dreams of a luxury bed and state-of-the-art facilities had just vanished in the splutter of a seaplane’s engines. There might be an ocean right next to her but there was no swimming pool, no facilities and definitely no room service. This was sounding less and less like three weeks in the sun and more and more like she would be wringing Lewis’s neck the next time she saw him.

The seaplane slowed and bumped to a landing on the water, moving over to a wooden quay. A burly man in a grey T-shirt tinged with sweat grabbed the line so she could open the door and jump down.

‘Doc Johnson?’

She nodded.

He rolled his eyes. ‘I’m Ron. Welcome to paradise.’

The wooden quay gave a little sway as she landed on it.

They walked quickly along the beach and up a path towards the grey portable cabins. ‘Kind of out of place for paradise?’ she said.

Ron laughed. ‘Is that how they got you out here? Told the same story to the other doc too. But he’s been fine. Said he’s used to sleeping in camp beds anyhow and it doesn’t make any difference to him.’

A horrible shiver crept down Rachel’s spine. She’d spent five years at university in London with Lewis and a group of other friends. Then another couple of years working in the surrounding London hospitals. Lewis knew everything about her. He knew everything about the guy she’d dated for five years back then. Lewis was the common denominator here. He wouldn’t have done anything stupid, would he?

Ron showed her up to the three cabins sitting on an incline. ‘The rest of the crew stay along the beach a little. You and the other doc are in here. Medical centre is right next to you. And the one next to that is the most popular cabin on the beach.’

‘Showers?’ she said hopefully.

‘Nope. Catering,’ he answered with a broad smile.

‘Okay. Thanks, Ron.’ She pushed open the door to the cabin and sent a silent prayer upwards.

The cabin was empty. There was a sitting area in the middle with a sofa. A bathroom with a shower of sorts, and two rooms at either end. It wasn’t quite army camp beds. They were a little better than that. But the rooms were sparse, with only a small chest of drawers and a few hooks on the wall with clothes hangers on them.

Rachel dumped her rucksack and washed her face and hands, taking a few minutes to change her T-shirt and apply some more mosquito spray and sunscreen.

Her stomach was doing little flip-flops. It was pathetic really. Ron had only made one remark about a camp bed. It was nothing. It could apply to millions of guys the world over. But she had a bad feeling about this. Lewis had been especially persuasive on the phone. He’d given her the whole ‘my wife is pregnant’ and ‘one of the celebrities is being difficult’ routine. When she’d heard who the celebrity was she hadn’t been surprised. She’d met Darius under unusual circumstances. Both of them had been vulnerable. And he’d loved the thought that by dating a doctor he had an insider’s view of treatments.

But dating Darius Cornell—Australia’s resident soap opera hunk—had been an experience. They’d dated for just over a year. Just enough to get both of them through. She’d been relieved when the media attention had died down.

Her stomach flipped over one more time as she walked outside and reached for the door handle of the medical centre. It was strange to be here at his request. But Darius could be handled.

Her biggest fear was that the person behind this door probably couldn’t.

He was dreaming. More likely he was having a nightmare. He pushed his hat a little further back on his head and blinked again.

No. She was still there.

Rachel Johnson. Brown hair tied in a ponytail, slightly suntanned skin and angry brown eyes set off by her pink T-shirt.

‘Just when I thought this couldn’t get any worse.’ He pulled his feet off the desk.

Her lips tightened and her gaze narrowed. ‘I’m going to kill Lewis Blake. I’m going to kill him with my bare hands. There’s no way I’m getting stuck on this island with you for three weeks.’ She folded her arms across her chest.

He pointed out at the sky. ‘Too late, Rach. You just missed your ride home.’ The seaplane was heading off in the distance.

Her forehead creased into a deep frown. ‘No way. There must be a boat. Another island nearby. How do they get supplies?’

Nathan shrugged. ‘Not sure. I’ve only been here a day. And don’t worry. I’m just as happy to see you. Particularly when I’ve just looked through the medical notes and saw your lovely ex is one of the celebs. No wonder you’re here.’

He couldn’t help it. When they’d split up years ago Rachel had come to Australia and a few months later been photographed by the press with her new boyfriend—an Australian soap star. It had been hard enough to get over the split, but seeing his ex all over the press when he’d been left behind to take care of his younger brother had just rubbed salt in the wounds. She’d gone to Australia. The place they’d planned to go to together.

‘What exactly are you doing here, Nathan? You seem the last person who’d want a job like this.’

He raised his eyebrows. ‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’

She shrugged. ‘I’d heard you were working for Doctors Without Borders. Celebrity Island seems a bit of a stretch of the imagination.’

He tried to ignore the little surge of pleasure that sparked; she’d been interested enough to find out where he worked. He’d never wanted to ask any of their mutual friends where Rachel was. Everyone knew that she’d gone to Australia without him and they were much too tactful to bring up her name.

He folded his arms across his chest. ‘I think you know exactly why I’m here. At a guess I’d say he hoodwinked me just as much as he hoodwinked you.’ He gave his hands a little rub together. ‘But don’t worry. I’ve got three weeks to think of what I’ll do to him when I get back.’

She frowned again. ‘How did he get in touch?’

Nathan’s gaze met hers. ‘I’ve been working with him.’

‘In A & E?’

Nathan shrugged. ‘Seemed the most logical place to work after five missions with Doctors Without Borders. He offered me the job as soon as my feet hit Australian soil.’

She gave a little nod. He could almost hear her brain ticking. He’d been the logical one and she’d been the emotional one. He’d thought they’d counterbalanced each other and worked well together. He’d been wrong.

‘And don’t think I’ve not noticed.’

Her cheeks were flooded with colour. ‘Noticed what?’ she snapped.

‘That there’s information missing from his medical file. What does your boyfriend have to hide?’

‘Stop calling him that. He’s not my boyfriend. Hasn’t been for more than seven years. It might have escaped your notice but he’s actually engaged to someone else. There’s absolutely nothing between us.’ She was getting angrier and angrier as she spoke. The colour was rushing up her face to the tips of her ears. He’d forgotten how mad she could get about things. Particularly when something mattered to her.

He lifted up the nearest folder. It took both hands. ‘Look at this one.’

She frowned and placed her hands on her hips. ‘Who does that belong to?’

‘Diamond Dazzle. Model. Grand old age of twenty-two and look at the size of her medical records. I know every blood test, every X-ray and every piece of plastic surgery and Botox she’s ever had. This one?’ He held up Darius’s records. Paper-thin. ‘I know that Darius had an appendectomy at age eight. That’s it.’

She folded her arms across her chest. ‘And that’s all you need to know. I know the rest.’

‘No physician works like that, Rach.’

‘You work like that every day, Nathan. You rarely know the history of the people who turn up in A & E, and I imagine on your missions you must have had patients from everywhere. They didn’t come with medical files.’

He stood up. She was annoying every part of him now. It didn’t matter that the angrier and more stubborn she got—the more her jaw was set—the more sensations sparked around his body. Rachel had always had this effect on him. He’d just expected it would have disappeared over time and with a whole host of bad memories. The rush of blood around his system was definitely unwelcome. ‘So, you’re going to look after one patient and I’ll look after eight? Is that how we’re going to work things?’

She shook her head fiercely, her eyes flashing. Rachel had always hated it when someone suggested she didn’t pull her weight. After all these years he still knew what buttons to press.

‘No, Nathan. I’ll look after all the patients—just like you will—if required.’

But Nathan wouldn’t be beaten. Not after all these years. He folded his own arms across his chest and matched Rachel’s stance. He couldn’t help but smile. It was like a stand-off. ‘Well, I don’t think I can do that if I don’t have all the facts about the patient.’

The colour of her face practically matched her T-shirt now and he could see tiny beads of sweat on her brow. It was unquestionably hot on the island. But he was quite sure that wasn’t why Rachel Johnson was sweating.

She shifted her feet. It was unusual to see her in khaki shorts, thick socks and heavy boots. She’d obviously been warned about the island paths. Rachel had spent her time as a student and junior doctor dressed smartly. Always in dresses and heels. This was a whole new look for her. Maybe her time in Australia had changed her outlook on life?

‘Of course you can, Nathan. Stop being difficult. Three weeks. I can tell you’ll be scoring off the days on the calendar just like I will.’

She turned to walk away. And it surprised him just how much he actually didn’t want her to. If you’d asked him if he wanted to come face to face with Rachel Johnson again he’d have said, Not in this lifetime. But reality was sometimes stranger than fiction.

She stopped at the door. ‘How’s Charlie?’

The question caught him off guard and his answer was an automatic response. ‘Charlie’s fine. Not that you would care.’

She sighed. ‘That’s not fair, Nathan, and you know it.’

He shrugged. ‘Why? You didn’t want to hang around when I had to look after my little brother for a couple of years. Why bother now?’

She shook her head. He could see her biting her lip. She probably couldn’t find the words for why she’d run out on them both. ‘I always loved Charlie. He was great. Did he finish university?’ A thought must have flickered across her mind. ‘How was he when you were away?’

‘Charlie was fine. He finished his engineering degree and got a job before I left for my last mission. He’s married now with two young children.’

She gave a little nod of her head. ‘Glad to hear it. Tell him I’m asking for him.’

She walked out of the door, letting it slam behind her. Nathan picked up the bottle of water on the table and downed it in one, wishing it was a beer. No matter how he tried to avoid it, his eyes had settled on her backside and legs as she’d walked out of the door. Eight years on and Rachel Johnson was as hot as ever.

And eight years later she still drove him crazy.

I always loved Charlie. The words echoed in his mind. ‘Just as well you loved one of us,’ he muttered.

She’d thought the cabin was hot but outside was even hotter and the high humidity was making the sweat trickle down her back already, probably turning her hair into a frizz bomb.

She stopped for a second to catch her breath, leaning against the metal bodywork and hoping to feel a little of the coolness on her body.

Trapped on an island with two exes. You couldn’t make this up.

A little wave of nausea rolled over her. Nathan Banks. Eight years had done nothing to diminish the impact of seeing him again. Her hands were trembling and every hair on her arms stood on end. She’d never expected to come face-to-face with him again.

His blond hair was a little shorter. His build a bit more muscular. But his eyes were still the neon green they’d always been. They could stop any girl in her tracks—just like they’d done to her.

They were supposed to be continents apart. What on earth was he doing in Australia? She knew he’d spent five years working for Doctors Without Borders. He was still friends with a lot of the people they’d trained with. And even though she’d pretended not to, she’d spent the last five years searching mutual social media sites with her heart in her mouth, hoping she wouldn’t ever hear bad news about him. That was the trouble with working in humanitarian missions—sometimes they took you into places with armed conflict.

Trouble was, five minutes in Nathan’s company could make her mad. No one else in her life had ever managed to spark that kind of reaction from her. But there was just something about Nathan and her alone in a room together. Sparks always flew. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad.

It was clear he still hadn’t forgiven her for leaving. She couldn’t blame him. But if she’d told him why she was really leaving he would have put his life—and Charlie’s—on hold for her. She hadn’t wanted that—she couldn’t do that to them. They’d just lost their parents; they’d needed to focus on each other.

And if she told him now why she’d left, she would be betraying Darius’s trust. Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.

She stared out at the perfect blue Coral Sea. It was no wonder they’d picked one of the Whitsunday islands for this show. At any other time, with any other person, this would be perfect.

Too bad Nathan Banks was here to spoil it for her.

CHAPTER TWO

‘EXACTLY HOW LONG will this take?’ The director was scowling at them both.

Nathan shrugged. He couldn’t care less about the man’s bad attitude. ‘It’ll take as long as it takes. We need to see every participant and have a quick chat about their medical history—then we’ll be able to tell you if anyone is unsuitable for the challenge tomorrow.’

The director stomped out of the door, closing it with an exasperated bang.

Nathan smiled at Rachel. ‘Now, where were we?’

Rachel lifted the printed list. ‘Okay, we have nine celebrities and one backup that we’ll need to assess if he arrives.’ She frowned. ‘This doesn’t seem right. Aren’t they all supposed to be filmed jumping from a plane and rowing or snorkelling their way here? What are they doing already on the island?’

Nathan shrugged. ‘The magic of television. They arrived yesterday when I did. They plan to do the filming later on today, pretending they’ve just set foot on the island. But they haven’t seen the camp yet. They spent last night in one of the cabins and you want to have heard the list of complaints.’

She shook her head as she looked over the list. ‘More fool me. I had no idea they faked their arrival. Want to take a bet on how quickly one will bail?’

He held out his fist. Old habits died hard. He and Rachel used to do this all the time. She blinked as if she were having a little flash of memory, then held out her fist, bumping it against his. ‘Six days.’

He shook his head. ‘Oh, way too ambitious. Four days.’

She frowned. ‘Really? But they’re doing it for charity. Surely someone wouldn’t give up that easy?’

He raised his eyebrows. ‘You really think these people are doing it all just for charity?’

‘Of course.’ She looked confused and Nathan sighed and picked up the list.

‘Let’s see. Darius Cornell—actor—let’s leave him for now. Diamond Dazzle—model—she’s looking for a lingerie contract. Frank Cairns—sportsman—he’s looking for a presenter’s job somewhere. Molly Bates—comedienne—she needs the publicity for her upcoming tour. Tallie Turner—actress—she just needs a job. Pauline Wilding—politician—always likes to be in the papers. Fox—boy band pop star—he’s hoping some teenagers remember his crazy name. Billy X—rapper—with his past history he’s probably about to be arrested for something, and Rainbow Blossom—reality TV star. She probably doesn’t want to fade from the spotlight. Are any of these people actually celebrities? Do any of them have a real name?’

He saw Rachel’s lips press together and waited for her to immediately go on the offensive for her apparent ex. But she surprised him. She didn’t.

‘I didn’t realise you were such a cynic.’

‘I guess we really didn’t know each other at all, did we?’ he shot back.

The words hung in the air between them. He sounded bitter. And he was. But even he was surprised by how quickly the words had come out. They’d never had this conversation before. She’d just told him she was leaving and hotfooted it out of the hospital as if she were being chased by a bunch of killer zombies.

Five years of missions for Doctors Without Borders had loosened his tongue. He’d dealt with armed conflict, natural disasters and epidemics. He was less willing to placate and tolerate. Life was too short—he knew that now. He and his brother had lost their parents to an accident eight years ago, and he’d lost too many patients all over the world.

She flopped down into the chair next to him, letting her floral scent drift under his nose. That was new. Rachel didn’t smell like that before. She’d always worn something lighter. This was stronger, more sultry, more like something a woman eight years on would wear. Why would he expect anything to stay the same?

‘Actually, you’re right,’ she muttered, going back to the original conversation and completely ignoring his barb. ‘Darius is probably the most well-known of them all. Five of them I don’t recognise and three I’ve never even heard of.’

It was almost a relief that finally they could agree on something.

‘How do you want to do this?’ She pointed to the pile of notes. ‘Do you want to go over each patient individually or do you just want to split them up?’

Splitting the pile would be easier and quicker. But Nathan wasn’t about to let her off so easy. He needed to have another doctor he could rely on. Rachel had been a good doctor eight years ago—but he’d no idea how she was now. ‘Let’s do them together. That way, if either of us is on call we’re familiar with all the patients. There’s only nine—this won’t take too long.’

He picked up the nearest set of notes and started flicking. ‘Diamond Dazzle—real name Mandy Brooks. She’s had liposuction, two breast enlargements, one skin biopsy, one irregular smear test and lots of Botox. She apparently had her lips done a week ago—so we’ll need to keep an eye on her for any signs of infection.’

Rachel shook her head. ‘Why would an already beautiful twenty-two-year-old think she needs all this?’

Nathan put the file back on the desk. ‘Beats me.’ He folded his arms across his chest. ‘Do you think this makes her ineligible for the challenge? Having spiders or rats crawl over her body—and probably face too—will make her more vulnerable to infection.’

‘I think just being in the jungle alone makes her at higher risk. Who would do that? Know that they’re coming somewhere like this and go for a procedure less than a week before?’

Nathan smiled. He knew exactly where she was coming from but he also knew the answer. ‘Someone who wants to be on TV.’

Rachel shook her head. Some of her hair was coming loose and the curls were starting to stray around her face. It was odd. She hadn’t aged as much as he had. There were a few tiny lines around her eyes and her body had filled out a little. But nothing else. She was every bit as beautiful as he remembered.

His face and skin had been weathered by five years of on and off postings in countries around the world. The last had been the worst. The sand felt as if it would never wash off and the darkening of his skin—coupled with lots of lines—made him more weathered. It didn’t help that he felt about a hundred years older.

‘Shall we call her in?’ He had to focus on work. That was what they were here to do. Lewis hadn’t lied about everything. On the surface, this could be three weeks of paid vacation time. Supervising the challenges would only take a couple of hours each night. He could live with that.

Rachel stood up and walked to the door. ‘I’ll get her. They’re down on the beach with the director. Apparently they’re going to make it look like they had to row part way here.’

Nathan just rolled his eyes.

It didn’t take long to chat to each celebrity and review their medical files. A few were taking medications that they’d still require in the camp. A few others had intermittent usage of medications for angina, migraines or asthma that Rachel and Nathan agreed they could still take into camp. None of that stuff would be shown on camera.

Eventually it was time to speak to Darius. As soon as the guy walked into the room Nathan bristled. He just didn’t like him—would never like him. For some reason, the pictures of Darius and Rachel together were imprinted on his brain.

Rachel smiled nervously. ‘Darius, this is Nathan, the other doctor on duty. We are having a chat with everyone about their medical file and requirements in the camp.’

Darius had that soap actor look. Clean tanned skin and straight white teeth. He looked as if on occasion he might work out at the gym and he also looked as if he needed to gain a little weight.

Nathan held up his file as Rachel shifted from foot to foot. ‘There’s not much in here, Darius. If I’m going to be the doctor looking after you I need to know a little more about your medical history.’

Darius’s eyes shifted over to Rachel. He was a confident guy who was obviously used to things going his way. ‘There’s no need. Rachel knows my medical history. That’s why she’s here.’

Nathan leaned across the desk. ‘But Rachel might not always be available. She’s not on call twenty-four hours a day for the next three weeks, you know. And she’ll have other patients to treat too. The rest of your campmates and the crew need doctor services too.’

Darius gave a fake smile as he glanced at Rachel. ‘I’m sure she’ll cope.’

Nathan’s hand balled into a fist as he kept his voice deadly calm. ‘Any allergies I should know about? Are you in good health right now? Do you require any medications or special diet requirements?’

Darius took a few seconds to reply, almost as if he was rehearsing his answer. ‘No allergies. I’m in perfect health and I’m not taking any medication right now.’

Measured. That was the word that Nathan would use. Rachel, in comparison, looked like a cat on a hot tin roof. What on earth had happened between these two?

There was something in the air. But it wasn’t like the spark Nathan had felt between him and her when Rachel had first walked in here. It was something different. Something easier—at least it seemed easier to Darius. He seemed cool and confident around Rachel. Assured.

Darius stood up and put a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. ‘Thanks for being here, Rach.’ He glanced at Nathan. ‘I hope it doesn’t cause you too many problems.’

He disappeared out of the door to where the director was assembling the production crew.

Nathan folded his arms. ‘Well, that was informative. What does he have on you, Rach?’

Her expression of relief changed quickly. It was amazing how quickly he could put her back up. ‘What do you mean? Nothing. He has nothing on me. Why would you even think that? I’ve already told you I’ll be looking after Darius. There’s nothing you need to know.’ She was getting angrier by the second and he knew he was right.

He moved around the desk, leaning back against it, only inches away from where she stood. Her perfume filled the air around him. ‘Really? So what did he mean by “I’m not taking any medication right now”? When was he taking meds and what for?’

He could see the conflict flitting across her eyes. The rational part of her brain knew exactly why he was asking. His suspicion hadn’t been misplaced. There was something to tell; that was the whole reason Rachel was here. But what was it? Three weeks of this would drive him crazy.

She stared him straight in the eye. ‘This is ridiculous. I don’t want to be here. You don’t want to be here. Why doesn’t one of us just leave?’

She was cutting straight to the chase but he hadn’t missed the fact she’d just circumvented his question.

This was the closest he’d been to Rachel in eight long years. Her pink lips were pressed in a hard line and her hands were staunchly on her hips. He tried not to look down. He tried not to notice the way her breasts were straining against the thin pink T-shirt. He tried not to notice the little lines around her brown eyes. Or the faint tan on her unblemished skin.

But everything was there. Everything was right in front of him. He breathed in and her scent was like an assault on his senses. He bristled, the tiny hairs on his skin upright and the beat of his heart increasing in his chest. This was crazy. He wasn’t interested in this woman. He wouldn’t let himself be interested in this woman. She’d walked away. More accurately, she’d flown away when he and Charlie had needed her most.

Australia hadn’t just been her dream. It had been their dream. They’d both planned on going there after they’d worked as senior house doctors for a year. It was easier for Rachel. Her mother was Australian and Rachel had dual nationality. But the application to work had been in both of their names and nothing had hurt more than when Rachel had just upped and left without him.

The words were on the tip of his tongue. You leave. But he couldn’t bring himself to say them. And it drove him crazy. It should be easy. She deserved it. So why couldn’t he say it?

He turned his back and sat back down. He had to get away from her smell, her stance, the look in her eyes. He could do without all these memories.

‘I can’t leave. I’m working with Lewis. Believe it or not, I’m doing this as a favour to him. Cara’s near the end of her pregnancy and he needs to be there. When I go back he’ll give me another six-month contract at the hospital.’

She frowned, wrinkling her nose. Rachel had always looked cute when she was frowning. ‘He’s blackmailing you into being here?’ It sounded worse when she said it out loud.

He couldn’t help the rueful smile on his face. ‘Not really. He gave me “the look”. You know—the one he always gives you when he needs his own way? Anyway, he really didn’t want to be away from Cara and apparently I needed a holiday. A break. Some time off.’

Now she looked worried. ‘He thought you needed some time off? Is something wrong? Did something happen?’

You. But he’d never say that word out loud. He hadn’t realised how big an effect all this was having on him. And he didn’t even want to acknowledge it. He’d spent the last eight years blanking Rachel out of his life. Forgetting about her. Locking her away in a box, along with all the unresolved feelings he had about her. It wasn’t quite so easy to do that when she was standing in front of him.

He took the easy route. ‘I spent five years working for Doctors Without Borders. I’ve been halfway around the world. I didn’t really have a holiday when I finished my last tour. Just came to Australia, looked up Lewis and started working for him on a temporary contract.’

She hesitated, something flitting across her eyes. ‘You never talked about going to Doctors Without Borders. What made you go?’

He couldn’t bite back his natural response. ‘We didn’t talk about lots of things.’

She flinched, almost as if she’d been stung.

He took a deep breath. ‘An old friend came back after working for them. When he told me about the work he’d been doing—the epidemics, the natural disasters and in areas of armed conflict—I was interested. Who wouldn’t be? Lots of these people have absolutely no access to healthcare. Doctors Without Borders is their only hope. I felt as if I had to go. Charlie had finished university and got a job. The timing worked out. I was only going to do one mission in Africa for nine months. But one year turned into two, then three and eventually five.’

He paused. She was watching him carefully, almost holding her breath. ‘It was good experience.’ It seemed the best way to sum things up. Rachel didn’t need to know what he’d seen or what he’d dealt with. She had a good enough imagination. He’d already told her more than he’d intended to.

But curiosity about her was getting the better of him. ‘What’s your speciality?’

For a second she seemed thrown. She bit her lip and fixed her eyes on a spot on the wall, her hand tugging nervously at her ear.

With Rach, it had always been a telltale sign. And his instant recognition came like a thunderbolt. He’d thought he’d known this woman so well. But he hadn’t really known her at all. That was probably what stung the most.

‘I took a little time off when I came to Australia.’ Her eyes looked up to the left. ‘Then I worked as a general medical physician for a while, dealing with a mix of diabetic, cardiac, respiratory and oncology patients.’ Her feet shifted on the floor.

Her gaze meshed with his and something shot through him. A wave of recognition. She tugged at her ear. She’s going to change the subject.

After all these years he still knew her little nuances. ‘I thought you might have gone into surgery. That’s what you were always interested in.’

She was right. He had talked about going into surgery. And he’d certainly had his fair share of surgical experience around the world. But even though he’d just acknowledged that he still knew her little nuances, he was annoyed that she thought she still knew things about him.

She’d walked away. She’d lost the right to know anything about him. She’d lost the right to have any insight into his life.

His voice was blunt. ‘A surgical internship would have taken up too many hours. At least with A & E I had regular shifts without also being on call.’

The implication was clear. Looking after his brother had changed his career pathway. He didn’t like to think about it. He didn’t like to acknowledge it—especially not to someone who had turned and walked away. Maybe if Rachel had stayed he could still have chosen surgery as his path? It would have been easier to share the load between two people.

But Rachel didn’t seem to be picking up his annoyance. ‘You must have got a wide range of experience with Doctors Without Borders. Did you do some surgery?’

‘Of course I did. It’s all hands on deck out there, even though you’re in the middle of the desert.’ His eyes drifted off to the grey wall. If he closed his eyes right now he could almost hear the whump-whump of the incoming medevac helicopters. He could feel the sensation of the tiny hairs on his arms and at the back of his neck standing on end in nervous anticipation of the unknown.

Sometimes civilians—men, women and children—sometimes army, navy or air force personnel. You never knew what you were going to see when you pulled back the door on the medevac.

The medical services were some of the best in the world, but at times Nathan’s surgical skills had been challenged.

The tick-tick of the clock on the wall brought him back into focus. A little shiver ran down his spine.

A warm hand touched his arm and he jolted. ‘Nathan? Are you okay?’

A frown creased her brow. The concerned expression on her face made him angry. How dare she feel sorry for him?

He snatched his arm away. ‘Of course I’m fine.’ He crossed his arms over his chest and walked around to the files again. ‘I’m going to write up some notes. Make a few recommendations to the director. Why don’t you go over to the beach or something?’

It was dismissive. Maybe even a little derogatory. But he just wanted her out of here. Away from him.

For a second Rachel looked hurt, then her jaw tightened and the indignant look came back in her eyes. The Rachel he’d known would have stood her ground and torn him down a few pegs.

But this Rachel was different. This Rachel had changed. She nodded, almost sarcastically. ‘Sure. That’s exactly what I’ll do.’ She picked up one of the pagers from the desk, clipping it to her waist without even acknowledging the act. She walked away without a glance. ‘They better make cocktails at that bar …’

The door closed behind her with a thud and he waited a few seconds before he collapsed back into the seat. One minute he was mad with her, the next he was being swamped with a whole host of memories.

One thing was for sure. This island wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

CHAPTER THREE

RACHEL WAS FURIOUS. She couldn’t wait to put some distance between her and Nathan.

She rubbed the palm of her hand against her shorts. It was almost burning. The contact with his skin, the gentle feel of the hairs on his arms underneath her hand was something she hadn’t been ready for.

It was hard enough being around him again. She felt catapulted into a situation she was unprepared for. In her distant daydreams, she’d been sure that if she’d ever met Nathan again she would have been ready. Mentally. And physically.

She’d be wearing her best clothes. Something smart. Something professional. Her hair would have been washed and her make-up freshly applied. She would have practised how to casually say hello. All her responses would be easy, nonchalant. Or at least rehearsed over and over again so they would seem that way.

She would have a five-minute conversation with him, wishing him well for the future, and then walk off into the distance with a little swing of her hips.

She would be composed, controlled. He would never guess that her heart was breaking all over again. He would have no idea at all.

But most of all there would be absolutely no touching. No touching at all. Because, in her head, that was the thing that would always break her.

And she’d been right.

Her hand started to shake. Rubbing it against her thigh was no use. No use at all.

Her footsteps quickened on the descending path. The beach was only a matter of minutes away. A few of the crew members were already on the beach, sitting on the chairs. But the truth was she couldn’t stay here for long. In an hour’s time the celebrities would be split into two teams and dropped into the middle of the ocean.

Their first challenge would be to row to the island. The winning team would be rewarded with better sleeping facilities and more edible food. The others would spend a night sleeping on the jungle floor. Just the thought of it made her shudder. The rangers had already pulled a few spiders as big as her hands from the ‘camp’ and a few snakes she had no intention of identifying. The book that Lewis had given her on poisonous creatures had photographs of them and then notes on antidotes, treatments and antivenoms. It wasn’t exactly fun bedtime reading.

She climbed up onto one of the bar stools, which gave a little wobble. It seemed to be designed for people of an Amazonian stature. She looked down to the sandy matting beneath her.

‘What’ll it be?’ asked the guy behind the bar. He didn’t look like a traditional bartender. He looked like a guy running between about five different jobs. Most of the crew seemed to be doing more than one thing.

‘Remind me not to get too drunk. I don’t fancy falling off this bar stool. It’s a long way down.’

The bartender smiled. ‘It’s okay. I know a handsome doc that will be able to patch you up.’

She shook her head. ‘Absolutely not.’ She held out her hand. ‘Rachel Johnson. The other doc. And, believe me, he’s the last person who’d be patching me up.’

‘Len Kennedy. You don’t like Nathan? I’m surprised.’ He set a glass in front of her. ‘Don’t tell me. Diet soda or fruit juice?’

She nodded ruefully. ‘You guessed it; I’ll be on duty soon. A diet cola will be fine.’ She watched as he poured and tossed in some ice, a slice of orange and a couple of straws.

He watched while she took a sip. ‘Nathan seems like a good guy. What’s the problem?’ The bartender’s voice was steady with a curious edge. But it felt as if he’d just drawn a line in the sand as to where his loyalties lay. Great. She couldn’t even come to the bar for a drink.

She gave her shoulders a shrug and took a sip through her straw. ‘Some might say it’s ancient history.’

Her eyes met the guy in front of her. He was handsome, but a little rough around the edges. A scar snaked from his wrist to his elbow, he had a closely shorn head, a few days’ worth of stubble and eyes that had seen things they shouldn’t. She wondered what his story was.

He gave her a knowing kind of smile. ‘Then maybe that’s the best place to leave it. Sometimes history should be just that—history.’

She’d been wrong. He didn’t seem like a crazy crew member. He was a typical bartender. The kind that seemed to be able to read your mind and tell you exactly what you didn’t want to hear.

She looked out at the perfect ocean. This place might not have the luxury facilities she’d been promised. But it was an incredibly beautiful setting. The kind of place where you should relax and chill out. The kind of place that probably had the most gorgeous sunsets in the world. She gave a sigh. ‘Sometimes history is too hard to let go of.’

Len put another glass on the bar and filled it with lemonade. He held it up to hers. She hesitated, then held up her glass and chinked it against his. He smiled. ‘Maybe you should look at this a new way. Maybe it was fate that you both ended up here at the same time.’

Fate. More like an interfering friend. She arched her back, her hand instantly going to the skin there, tracing a line along her own scar. She hadn’t thought for a second Nathan would be here. Her backpack had two bikinis that she’d never wear in front of him; they’d have to spend the next three weeks languishing at the bottom of her bag. She didn’t want him asking any questions. She didn’t want to explain her scar. It went hand in hand with her relationship with Darius. Things he didn’t need to know about.

She didn’t really want to consider fate. It didn’t seem like her friend.

She smiled at Len. ‘So what are your duties around here? I haven’t had a chance to look around much yet.’

‘Apparently I tend the bar, refill the drinks, supply ice and help the crew with setting up some of the tasks.’ He took another sip of his drink. ‘I’ve got experience in rock climbing. They said it would be useful for one of their tasks.’

Rachel’s eyes widened. ‘You might have experience rock climbing but I’m betting none of the celebrities have. How safe is it to make them do something like that?’

Len shook his head. ‘I’ve no idea. I’m just the extra pair of hands. I’m assuming they’ll have a safety briefing before they start. At least I hope they will.’

Rachel gave a sigh and looked out over the perfect blue Coral Sea. This place really could be an island paradise. She rested her head on her hands. ‘What on earth have I got myself into?’

Len laughed. He raised his glass again and gave her a worldly-wise gaze. ‘Probably a whole load of trouble.’

She lifted her glass again and clinked it against his. She had a sinking feeling he could be right.

CHAPTER FOUR

RACHEL WATCHED AS the celebrities rowed towards the island. At least that was what she thought they were trying to do.

‘There’s going to need to be some serious editing,’ said the quiet voice behind her. ‘This is really quite boring.’

She didn’t turn. She didn’t need to. She could actually feel his presence right behind her.

He was right. The journey to the island didn’t seem like much of a journey. They’d been put into two boats and asked to row ashore as if they’d done it from the mainland. The truth was they were only a few hundred yards away. The boat with the sportsman Frank Cairns was already miles in front of the other. On a hot day his patience was obviously at an all-time low and he’d decided to do most of the rowing himself. His fellow celebs arrived onshore with big smiles on their faces.

The second boat arrived filled with long, grumpy faces and instant moans. ‘My agent said I wouldn’t have to do anything like this,’ moaned Dazzle.

‘Your agent lied,’ muttered Pauline Wilding, the politician. ‘Haven’t you learned anything yet?’

The male and female TV presenters appeared, trying to placate the celebrities and keep the atmosphere light. Rachel scanned her eyes over them all. One of the older women was limping already. The trek through the forest to the campsite wouldn’t help.

Darius appeared comfortable. The row didn’t seem to have bothered him in the slightest. It made her feel a little easier. Everywhere she looked she could see potential problems. Scratches and bites that could become infected. Lack of proper nutrition. Contaminants from the horrible toilet the celebrities would need to use. If Darius had asked her if this was a good idea—she would have told him to run a million miles away.

If any patient who’d just finished another dose of chemotherapy had asked if they should come here she would give a resounding no. A relaxing holiday in the Whitsunday islands on a luxury resort was one thing. Being dumped in a jungle to sleep for the next three weeks was another thing entirely.

She’d been lucky. She’d only had to take a year out of her medical career. A long, hard year involving surgery to remove her cancerous kidney; chemotherapy, radiotherapy and annual check-ups for five years.

Darius hadn’t been so lucky. They’d met in the cancer centre, with her fighting renal cancer and him fighting non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. He’d relapsed twice since, each time becoming a little sicker than the last.

What the world didn’t know was that Darius really hadn’t been her lover. He’d been her friend. Her confidant in a place she’d just moved to without any real friends.

Nathan had no idea why she’d left. He’d just lost his parents and realised he needed to be his brother’s guardian for the next two years. She hadn’t mentioned any of the symptoms she’d had—the blood in her urine, the sick feeling and loss of appetite. They’d both been so busy in their first year as junior doctors that she’d barely had time to think much about her symptoms. A simple urine test dipstick on the ward had made her realise she needed to get some professional advice. But then Nathan’s parents had been killed and they were both left stunned.

She’d held him while he’d sobbed and tried to arrange a joint funeral and sort out all the family finances. He’d just lost two people he loved. She’d nearly forgotten about her investigatory renal ultrasound. When her diagnosis had come she couldn’t possibly tell him. She couldn’t put him and Charlie through that. They needed time to recover. Time to find themselves. Charlie needed healthy people around him. Nathan needed to concentrate on getting his life back and learning how to be a parent to his brother.

Neither of them needed the uncertainty of someone with a cancer diagnosis. So she’d done the only thing that seemed right. She’d phoned her mother in Australia and made contact with the local cancer unit over there. Her notes transferred and her treatment planned, she’d bought her plane ticket and packed her case.

Australia had always been on the cards for Nathan and Rachel. They’d applied together. They’d meant to go together. But the death of Nathan’s parents meant all those plans had to be shelved.

It was too risky to stay in England and be treated. Someone, somewhere, would have come across her and word would have got back to Nathan. She didn’t want that. She loved him with her whole heart. He, and Charlie, had been through enough. She knew the risks of renal cell carcinoma. Not everyone survived. She couldn’t take the risk of putting Nathan and Charlie through that.

And she knew Nathan better than he knew himself. At the time of his parents’ death he’d tried so hard to be composed, to keep on top of things. This would have been the final push. Nathan would have stood by her—of that she had absolutely no doubt. No matter how hard she tried to push him away, he would have been by her side every step of the way.

In a way, she hadn’t felt strong enough to be brave for herself and for Nathan too. She had to be selfish. She had to put herself first.

So that was what she’d done. She’d bought her ticket and gone to the ward where Nathan was working to let him know she was leaving.

It was the hardest thing she’d ever done. She’d been flippant, matter-of-fact. A job opportunity had arisen in Australia that was too good to give up. She didn’t want to cause a scene so she hadn’t warned him.

He’d be fine. Charlie would be fine. They’d been together too long. They both needed some space apart. She’d wished him and Charlie well for the future.

Her legs had been shaking as she’d made that final walk down the corridor, knowing that every single word that had come from her mouth had been a lie.

Horrible heartless lies that had hurt the person she loved.

No wonder Nathan couldn’t bear to be around her.

No wonder at all.

Nathan was watching the celebrities crossing the swinging bridge made of rope and planks of wood suspended sixty feet above the jungle canopy. Any minute now …

Right on cue, one of them vomited over the bridge, clinging on for all she was worth. He couldn’t stifle the laugh. He shouldn’t really find it funny. But it was ridiculous. None of them had expressed a fear of heights.

It took nearly an hour for all nine celebrities to cross the bridge. It reminded him of the hysteria he’d witnessed as a student doctor at a school immunisation session when one teenage girl after another had a panic attack in the waiting room. The celebrities’ legs seemed to have turned to jelly and even some of the guys made a meal of it.

Darius wasn’t one of them. Neither was the sportsman. Both walked over the bridge as if they were crossing the street. Darius was beginning to pique Nathan’s curiosity. What had Rachel seen in the guy? And why was he so stoic? He didn’t seem fazed by the jungle—or the potential challenges. It was as if he had so much more to worry about.

There was a yell behind him and he spun around. A few other shouts followed and his legs moved automatically, crashing a path through the jungle towards the noise.

It only took him a few seconds to reach a scene of chaos. Some of the crew had obviously been transporting equipment and a whole pile of barrels that had previously been in a tower were spilled all over the ground.

‘What’s wrong? Is someone hurt?’

‘It’s Jack,’ yelled one of the burlier men as he grabbed hold of one of the barrels and tried to move it aside. ‘He’s caught underneath.’

Nathan didn’t hesitate. First priority—get to the patient. There was no way to see or assess how Jack was right now, so he used his muscle power to grab an end of one of the barrels to try and throw them out of the way. The weight of each of the barrels was extreme. ‘What on earth is in these?’ he grunted.

‘Sand.’

‘What? Why on earth do we have barrels filled with sand?’

The muscles in his arms were starting to burn as he kept pace with the others grabbing barrels and moving them away from the site.

‘For one of the challenges,’ shouted the crew guy.

There was a flash of pink near to him, then a figure shot past him and wriggled in between some of the barrels. ‘Stop!’ came a yell.

He moved forward, crouching down. ‘Rachel, what on earth are you doing?’

He could only see the soles of her boots as she continued to wiggle forward, her slim body and hips pushing sideways through the barrels. None of the rest of the crew could have fitted.

Her voice seemed to echo quietly back to him, reverberating off the curved sides of the barrels. ‘I’ve got him. He’s unconscious. Give me a second.’

The site director appeared next to Nathan, talking incessantly in his ear. Health and Safety … not safe … insurance … liability …

‘Shut up,’ said Nathan sharply, tuning the man out.

‘Rachel. How are you doing in there?’

There was a creak above him and several of the crew ran forward with their hands above their heads. ‘Watch out, Doc. Some of these are going to go.’

Of course. They’d been so close they couldn’t see the bigger picture. They’d been so quick to think about getting to Jack they hadn’t considered the swaying semi-collapsed tower.

Rachel gave a little squeak. ‘He’s breathing. But he’s unconscious,’ she shouted. ‘Definite sign of a head injury with a head lac, and a possible fractured ulna and radius.’

‘Any other injuries?’

‘Give me a sec. I can’t see his legs but I can feel his pelvis and abdomen.’ Nathan held his breath. His brain was trying to calculate how long it would take to medevac someone out of here. A few seconds later she shouted again. ‘His pelvis seems intact and his abdomen is soft. But there’s a few barrels right above us that look ready to come crashing down. Do you have anything we can use to keep us safe?’

Nathan started shouting to the crew. ‘We need something to put over Jack and the doc. What do we have?’

A few members of the crew pointed to some piles of wood. But there was no chance of squeezing those in amongst the barrels. Nathan’s brain was working frantically. Yesterday, he’d read a list of the challenges that the celebrities would do over the next few weeks. It sparked something in his brain. ‘Wait a minute. What about the inflatables for the water challenge later—anyone know where those are?’

He hadn’t even seen them but, from what he could remember about the challenge, they might help.

Ron’s eyes lit up. ‘Yes! They’ll be perfect!’ He turned on his heel and ran towards one of the equipment storage cabins.

Nathan’s black medical bag thumped down beside him. He didn’t even know who’d brought it. He just stuck his hand inside and pulled out a stethoscope. He ran forward and threw the stethoscope inside. ‘Rach, can you sound his chest?’

There was a muffled response. Ron and the others were still running around. The feeling of camaraderie struck him. When something happened, all hands were on deck. He didn’t know most of these people. He could count on one hand how many names he knew. But it didn’t matter; everyone was working towards one purpose and that he could understand. It had been the way of his life for five years in Doctors Without Borders.

Ron stopped next to him, clearly out of breath—he’d need to remember to check him over later. ‘We’ve got them—almost like giant sausages. They’re thin enough when they’re deflated to wiggle them through next to the doc.’

‘How do you inflate them?’ His brain was starting to see where this could go.

‘With a pressure machine.’

‘How quickly can they go up?’

‘Within ten seconds.’

He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘When that inflates will it push all those barrels outwards?’ How on earth could he keep Rachel and Jack safe?

He turned to the technician next to him. His logical brain was trying to calculate how to do this. ‘Put one on either side. They stay in the middle. That way, all the barrels will fall outwards.’ At least he hoped and prayed they would. He glanced at the anxious face next to him. ‘What do you think?’

Ron gave a small nod. ‘I think you’re a genius, Doc. Let’s get to work, guys.’

They moved quickly, trying to get things in position.

Nathan took a deep breath and moved forward. ‘Rach?’

Her voice echoed towards him. She sounded stressed. Climbing in amongst the barrels was probably starting to feel like a bad idea. ‘It’s harder than I thought. Chest clear and inflating on one side, but I can’t get access to the other—he’s lying on that side.’ There was a definite waver in her voice. What he really wanted to do was crawl in beside her. But unless that space got about two foot wider there was no physical possibility of that—not without putting the already teetering pile at further risk.

He signalled to Ron. ‘How soon will you be ready?’

Ron’s face was red and sweating. He gestured towards the other guys. It might look like chaos around them but everyone seemed to know exactly what they were doing. They all had a purpose. ‘Two minutes.’

Nathan crouched down, pushing himself as close to the entrance as he could. ‘Good. Rach, listen to me. We need to get you and Jack out of there. The barrels aren’t safe; they could fall at any minute. But we think we’ve got something that could help.’

‘What is it?’

‘Ron and the guys are going to manoeuvre some inflatables in beside you. They’re rolled up like sausages and should squeeze through the gap. One will be in front of you and Jack, and the other behind. I’ll give you a signal and we’ll flick the switch to inflate them. It’s quick. It only takes ten seconds, and once they inflate they should push all the surrounding barrels outwards. You need to keep your head down. Are you okay with that?’

‘Is there any other option?’ Her voice sounded shaky.

Nathan bit his lip. He was trying to make it sound as if this was perfectly planned when they both knew it wasn’t. ‘This is the quickest and safest option. You’ll be out of there soon.’ He switched back to doctor mode. ‘How’s the patient?’

He tried to shut out all the outside noise and just focus on her. How was she feeling in there? Any minute now the whole pile could come crashing down on top of her. He didn’t even want to give that head space. He couldn’t give that head space. Because it might actually make his hands shake. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen her in years. It didn’t matter he had all this pent-up frustration and rage wrapped up in memories of her. This was Rachel.

He didn’t want her to come to any harm. No matter what else went on in this world. He couldn’t push aside his protective impulses towards her. He didn’t dare to think about anything happening to her.

He’d just managed to see her for the first time in eight years. And, no matter how he felt about anything, he wasn’t ready for that to be over.

Her bravado was obviously starting to crash. ‘He’s still unconscious. We’ll be able to assess him better when we get out.’

Ron tapped him on the shoulder, standing in position with the bright yellow, tightly coiled inflatables in the crew’s hands.

‘Rach, hold on. Ron’s ready. Get yourself in position.’

He couldn’t imagine what it must be like in there with the heavy barrels stacked all around. It took a good ten minutes for Ron and the rest of the crew to slowly edge the giant sausage-like inflatables into position and connect them to the air pressure machines.

It was the first time in his life Nathan had ever cursed his muscular frame. He should be the one in there. Not her.

He spoke in a low voice. ‘Are you sure the rest of the barrels will fall outwards? None are going to land on them?’

Ron met his gaze; there was a flicker of doubt in his eyes. ‘I’m as sure as you are.’

Nathan glanced towards the crew member standing with his hand on the air pressure machine. ‘Get back,’ he yelled to the rest of the crew members, who scattered like leaves on a blustery day.

Nathan couldn’t help himself. He rushed forward as he signalled to the crew guy. ‘Now, Rach,’ he shouted. ‘Get your head down!’

Strong arms pulled him backwards just as the switches on the machine were thrown. It was only ten seconds. But it felt like so much longer.

The giant sausages started to inflate, pushing everything around them outwards. The barrels teetering at the top started to rumble and fall, cascading like a champagne tower. Nathan couldn’t breathe. It was almost as if everything was happening in slow motion.

One blue barrel after another thudded heavily to the ground, some landing on their side and rolling forwards, gathering momentum as the crew dived out of their path. From beneath the pile the thick yellow PVC was emerging, continuing to throw the blue barrels outwards as the air gathered inside.

Relief. He didn’t even want to consider what might have happened. As the last barrel rolled past, Nathan sprinted towards the yellow PVC, crossing the ground quickly. He could hear the thuds behind him and knew that the rest of the crew were on his heels but it didn’t stop him bounding over the thick inflatable.

Rachel was still crouched behind it; her body over the top of Jack’s, protecting him from any falling debris. Her head was leaning over his, with her hands over the top of her head. The other yellow inflatable had protected them from behind, creating the shelter that Nathan had hoped it would.

Nathan landed beside her with a thud, dropping to his knees and gently touching her arms. ‘Rachel? Are you okay?’ He couldn’t stop the concern lacing his voice.

Her arms were trembling and she lifted her head slowly, licking her dry lips. Her eyes flicked from side to side. ‘It’s done?’

The wave of relief in her eyes was obvious. He had to hold back. He had to really hold back. It would be so easy just to wrap his arms around her and give her a quick hug of comfort and reassurance. But this was Rachel. This was Rachel.

He’d already experienced the briefest contact with her skin and he’d no intention of doing it again. No matter how relieved he was to see she was okay.

His black bag thumped down next to him again—the black bag he should have been carrying in his hand. Something shot through him. His first thought should have been for the patient but it hadn’t been. His first thought had been Rachel.

She was still looking at him. Staring at him with those big brown eyes. As if she were still in shock after what had just happened.

He had to focus. One of them had to do their job.

He grabbed the stethoscope from her hands and bent over to sound Jack’s chest. Now that the barrels were out of the way he could get access quite easily. It only took a few minutes to hear the air entry in each lung. He pulled a pen torch from his back pocket and checked both of Jack’s pupils. Both reacted, although one was slightly sluggish. He grimaced. ‘We really need to get some neuro obs started on this guy.’

His voice seemed to snap Rachel to attention. She jumped to her feet and held out her hands towards the crew members who were handing a stretcher towards them. It only took a few seconds to load Jack onto the stretcher, with plenty of willing hands to help them carry him back to the medical centre.

If this accident had happened in the city Nathan would have a full A & E department at his disposal, with a whole host of other doctors. Here, on this island there was only him and Rachel. She’d always been a good, competent doctor. He hoped that nothing had changed.

He didn’t even glance behind the stretcher as he walked alongside the patient. His brain was spinning furiously, trying to remember where all the emergency equipment was in the medical centre.

Medical centre. It could barely even be called that. It had the basics, but was better designed for general consultations than emergency medicine. He’d expected to treat a few bites and stomach aches. Not a full scale head injury.

The crew members carried Jack inside and helped Nathan slide him across onto one of the trolleys. He did the basics and hooked Jack up to the cardiac monitor and BP cuff; at least they had one of those.

Rachel seemed to have gathered herself and was pulling Jack’s notes from the filing cabinet. ‘No significant medical history,’ she shouted as Nathan pulled an oxygen mask over Jack’s face and quickly inserted an IV cannula.

‘Do we have any Glasgow Coma Scales?’ It was unlikely. The Glasgow Coma Scale was used the world over to monitor unconscious patients. Rachel pulled open a few admin drawers and shook her head, passing him a recording sheet for pulse and BP, then taking a blank sheet of paper and making some quick scribbles.

She walked over and handed it to him as she slid the pen torch from his back pocket as though she did it every day, lifting Jack’s eyelids and checking his pupils.

Nathan glanced at the paper. It was Rachel’s attempt at an impromptu Glasgow Coma Scale. It had captured the basics—eye response, verbal response and motor response. Both of their heads snapped up as the monitor started alarming.

He ran his fingers down Jack’s obviously broken arm. The colour of his fingertips was changing. They were beginning to look a little dusky, meaning that the blood supply was compromised. He swapped the oxygen saturation probe over to the other hand and watched as it came back up to ninety-eight per cent.

He looked up and his gaze meshed with Rachel’s. He didn’t even need to speak; she could see the same things he could.

‘Nathan, do you have keys to the medicine fridge?’ He nodded and tossed them in her direction. For a doctor who didn’t routinely work in emergency medicine, she’d certainly remembered the basics. He finished his assessment of Jack, recording all the responses while she drew up some basic pain medication.

Even though Jack wasn’t awake they were going to have to straighten and splint his broken arm to try and re-establish the blood supply. No doctor could assume an unconscious patient couldn’t feel pain. It didn’t matter that Jack hadn’t responded to the painful stimuli that Nathan had tried as part of the assessment. His breathing wasn’t compromised so they had to administer some general pain relief before they started.

His arm fracture was obvious, with the bones displaced. Thankfully, they hadn’t broken the skin so the risk of infection would be small.

Rachel spun the ampoule she’d just drawn into the syringe around towards Nathan so he could double-check the medicine and the dose. He gave a little nod of his head while she administered it.

He couldn’t help but give a little smile as she positioned herself at Jack’s shoulder. ‘Do you remember how to do this?’

She shook her head. ‘Of course not. Why do you think I’m in the anchor position? The responsibility for the displaced bones and blood supply is yours.’

Of course she was right. It would have been years since she’d been involved in repositioning bones. He’d done it three times in the last month.

It only took a few minutes to reposition the bones and put a splint underneath the arm. The most promising thing was the grunt that came from Jack.

‘Can you patch that head wound?’ he asked. ‘I’m going to arrange to medevac Jack back to the mainland.’

Rachel opened the nearest cupboard and found some antiseptic to clean the wound, some paper stitches and a non-adhesive dressing. She worked quickly while he made the call. She waited until he replaced the receiver and gave him a nervous smile. ‘I haven’t sutured in a while so I’ve left it for the professionals.’

He nodded. It was good she wasn’t trying to do things she wasn’t confident with. She’d just been thrown in at the deep end and coped better than he’d expected. If the shoe was on the other foot and he’d found himself in the middle of a medical unit, how well would he do?

He might be able to diagnose and treat chest infections, some basic cardiac conditions and diagnose a new diabetic but would he really know how to treat any blood disorders or oncology conditions off the top of his head? Absolutely not.

Nathan picked up the phone and dialled through to the emergency number. Thank goodness he’d checked all these yesterday when he arrived. It didn’t matter that Lewis had told him nothing would happen. Working for Doctors Without Borders had taught him to be prepared.

The call was answered straight away and arrangements made for the dispatch of the medevac. ‘It’s coming from Proserpine Airport. We’re in luck; they were already there.’

Her sigh of relief was audible and he joined her back at the trolley. Jack still hadn’t regained consciousness. Nathan took a few more minutes to redo the neuro obs and stimuli.

‘Do you know where the medevac will land?’

He gave a nod of his head. ‘Can you go outside and find Ron? We’ll need some help transporting Jack down to the beach. They’ve probably cleared the landing spot already.’

She disappeared quickly and he sucked in a breath. This was a whole new experience for him. They’d trained together at university and spent their first year working as junior doctors in the same general hospital. But they’d never actually done a shift together. She’d done her six months medical rotation first while he’d done his surgical placement. They’d swapped over six months later.

He’d already known he wanted to specialise in surgery at that point, whereas Rachel had expressed a preference for medicine. They’d applied to the same hospital in Melbourne and been accepted to work there. But he’d been unable to take up his job and had a frantic scramble to find another in England. He’d always assumed that Rachel had just carried on without him. Now he wasn’t so sure.

Ron’s sweaty face appeared at the door. He’d really need to check him over at some point. ‘‘Copter should be here in a few minutes. Once it’s down, there are four guys outside to help you carry the stretcher.’ His brow creased as he glanced at Jack. ‘How is he?’

Nathan gave a little nod. ‘We’ve patched him up as best we could but he’s still unconscious. Hopefully, he’ll wake up soon.’

Ron disappeared and ten minutes later the thwump-thwump of the helicopter could be heard overhead. A wave of familiarity swept over him. For a few seconds he was back in the sand, war all around, his stomach twisting at the thought of what throwing back the medevac door would reveal. But then Rachel rushed back in and the moment vanished. He finished another blood pressure reading and pupil check, then disconnected the monitor.

He pulled the blanket over Jack’s face to protect him from the downdraught and any flying sand but it actually wasn’t quite as bad as he’d expected. Helicopters didn’t faze him at all. He’d spent the best part of five years travelling in them and pulling patients from them. But Rachel looked terrified.

She ducked as they approached the helicopter even though the spinning blades were high above her head. Several of the crew members did the same. The paramedic flung open the door and jumped down.

The handover only took a few seconds. ‘Jack Baker, twenty-four. A few tons of sand-filled barrels landed on him. Suspected broken ulna and radius, blood supply looked compromised so it’s been realigned. Unconscious since the accident. GCS six with recent response to pain. His right pupil has been sluggish. No problems with airway. Breath sounds equal and abdomen soft.’ He handed over the charts he’d made, along with a prescription chart and Jack’s notes. ‘He’s had five of diamorphine.’

The paramedic nodded as he anchored the stretcher inside and started connecting Jack to his equipment. His eyes met Nathan’s. ‘Our control centre will give you a call and keep you updated.’

Nathan pulled the door closed and backed off towards the trees next to the beach. The water rippled as the blades quickened and the helicopter lifted off. After a few minutes the members of the crew started to disperse, mumbling under their breath as they headed back towards the accident site. It would take hours to clean up. It would take even longer to write the report for the insurers.

Nathan started to roll up his khaki shirtsleeves. Report writing could wait. He’d rather be involved in the clean-up and get a better idea of the general set-up. Health and Safety might not be his direct responsibility but, as one of the doctors on the island, he didn’t want to have to deal with something like that again.

Something caught his eye in the foliage next to the beach—a little flash of pink. It wasn’t the tropical flowers that he’d spotted earlier; they’d been yellow, orange and red. This wasn’t fauna. This was man-made.

Rachel was sitting on the edge of the beach, just as it merged with the dark green foliage. Her pink cotton T-shirt stood out. She hadn’t even noticed him, her knees pulled up to her chest and her eyes fixed on the sky above.

He bit his lip. He couldn’t leave her there like that. She wasn’t used to trauma. She wasn’t used to accidents. This was totally out of left field for her.

Part of him wanted to walk in the other direction. The Nathan of eight years ago wanted to leave her sitting there alone. But the Doctors Without Borders medic wouldn’t let him. In his five years he’d never once left a colleague alone after a traumatic incident. He wasn’t about to start now.

His legs moved before his brain started to function. They were on automatic pilot. He didn’t even think. He just plopped down on the sand next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

‘Okay?’

She didn’t speak, but she didn’t pull away either—not like earlier. Her breathing was shaky and her shoulders gave the slightest quiver beneath his arm. He moved closer, pulling her to him and speaking quietly. ‘You did good, Rach. Emergency medicine doesn’t come easily to some folks. You acted as though it was second nature.’

‘I just acted on instinct.’ Her voice wavered.

‘Did that include when you dived amongst those barrels that could have pounded you to pieces?’ He still couldn’t believe she’d done that. He still couldn’t believe he hadn’t been quick enough to stop her.

Her head sagged onto his shoulder. She stared out at the sea. ‘I don’t know why I did that.’

He smiled. ‘Probably because you’re headstrong, stubborn and don’t listen to anyone around you.’

She gave a little laugh. ‘I guess some things don’t change at all.’

He felt himself tense a little. Part of him didn’t want to offer comfort to her. Part of him didn’t want to reassure and support her. He could feel his body reacting to hers. The familiarity of her underneath his arm, leaning against him as if they still fitted together—even after all this time.

His breath was caught somewhere in his throat. He wanted to tell her that everything changed. Things changed in the blink of an eye and the world you thought you had just slipped through your fingers.

But he couldn’t let the words out.

He’d been down this road himself—acting on instinct in places where it could get you into trouble. But he’d been lucky. He’d always been surrounded by supportive colleagues. Doctors Without Borders was like that.

He didn’t even want to touch on his natural instinct to the car backfiring in Melbourne that ended with him crouched in a ball on the street. Working in war zones did that to you. And it was hard to shake it off.

And, because of that, he took a deep breath and stayed where he was. Sometimes—even for a few minutes—a colleague just needed some support. He’d had colleagues who’d supported him. Now, it was his job to return the favour. No matter what else was going on in his head.

Right now it was just them. Just the two of them for the first time in eight years, sitting together on a beach.

He pushed everything else away. Three weeks on an island with Rachel?

There would be plenty of time for repercussions. But, for now, he would just wait.

CHAPTER FIVE

THE SHOWER WAS distinctly dodgy, spouting an uneven trickle of water. With thick hair like Rachel’s, rinsing the shampoo out was a challenge. She pulled on a plain pink button-down shirt and another pair of khaki shorts and her hiking boots again. The smell of breakfast was wafting around. Ron had been right; the catering cabin was definitely the most popular place on the island.

Part of her felt bad for the celebrities who had spent their first night in camp, half of them lying on the equivalent of yoga mats on the jungle floor. If it had been her she would have stuck her head in the sleeping bag, pulled the tie at the top and not come out again until morning. But, then again, she wasn’t here to entertain the audience.

Last night in the cabin had been hard enough. Knowing that across the simple sitting area and through the thin walls Nathan was lying in another bed made her skin tingle.

She’d spent years trying not to think about Nathan. Guilt always ensued when she thought about him. For the first year she’d had to concentrate on her own treatment and recovery. The support from Darius had actually helped; he’d been a welcome distraction. He liked to be the centre of attention in his own little world—even if he was keeping it secret. Sometimes it had felt as if Rachel was his only confidante and that could be a bit overwhelming—especially when she had her own recovery to consider.

Last night had been pretty sleepless. She tried to rationalise. She was on the Whitsundays—beautiful islands in the Coral Sea with a whole host of wildlife around her. The nightlife sounds were always going to be a little different. But that wasn’t what had kept her awake.

If she closed her eyes really tightly she could almost imagine that she could hear Nathan breathing in the other room. It brought back a whole host of memories she just wasn’t ready for. Her hand on his skin, watching the rise and fall of his chest and feeling the murmur of his heart beneath her palm. The soft noises he made while he slept. The fact that in their five years together, he’d never ever turned his back when they’d slept together. His arms had always been around her.

The feelings of comfort and security swept over her—things she’d missed beyond measure these last few years. And that didn’t even begin to touch on the passion. The warmth. The love.

Getting up and heading for the shower to try and scrub off the feeling of his arm around her shoulders had been all she could do. Nothing could change what had happened between them. Nothing could change the look in his eyes when he’d first seen her.

She’d felt the buzz yesterday. She’d heard the concern in his voice when she dived in amongst those barrels. She still wasn’t quite sure why she’d done that. It seemed like a good idea at the time—she was the only person small enough to get through the gap and to the patient.

But once she’d been in there she was scared. Hearing Nathan’s voice was not only reassuring but it also bathed her in comfort, knowing that he was concerned about her. She shouldn’t read anything into it. She shouldn’t. She knew him. Or at least she used to know him. Nathan would have been concerned for any colleague.

Had five years working for Doctors Without Borders changed him? Had her walking away from him changed him? She hoped not. She hoped his good heart was still there. Even if he only showed it to her in a moment of crisis.

She followed the smell of eggs and bacon. Most of the crew were already eating at the variety of tables. Nathan was in the corner, having a heated discussion with one of the directors.

Rachel filled her plate with toast, bacon, eggs and coffee, then walked over, putting her tray on the table. ‘Anything I should know about, guys?’

The angry words instantly dissipated as both sets of eyes looked at her in surprise. The hidden similarities between a television crew and a hospital was amazing. Rachel had spent too many years working amongst people with big egos to be thrown by anything she came across.

‘Is this a medical matter or a technical matter?’ she asked as she sat down and spread butter on her toast.

Nathan blinked. He still seemed surprised at her frankness. ‘It’s a mixture of both. Bill just presented me with a revised list of the challenges. I think some of the changes could impact on the health and safety of the contestants. He’s telling me that’s not our concern.’

‘Really?’ Rachel raised her eyebrows and bit into her toast. She chewed for a few seconds while she regarded Bill carefully. On this island, he obviously thought his word was law. To the rest of the production crew it probably was. But he hadn’t met Rachel or Nathan before. No matter how at odds they were with each other, he was about to find out just how formidable they could be as a combined force.

She gave Bill her best stare. ‘So, just out of interest, what would the insurance company say if both your doctors bailed?’

A slow smile started to spread over Nathan’s face. He knew exactly what she was doing.

‘What do you mean?’ snapped Bill.

She shrugged and started cutting up her bacon and eggs. ‘I’m just asking a question, Bill. I’m pretty sure you can’t have this production without your medical team in place. After yesterday, I think you’ll find Nathan and I aren’t prepared to negotiate on anything.’ She popped a piece of bacon in her mouth. ‘You either listen to us or you don’t.’

She was so matter-of-fact about it. Probably because she wasn’t prepared to negotiate. Employees, including herself, had been put at risk yesterday. They’d already identified a few celebrities who couldn’t take part in certain challenges. She didn’t even know the schedule for today. But, no matter how many years had passed, if Nathan knew enough to get angry about it, that was good enough for her.

Bill stood up abruptly, knocking the table and sloshing some of her coffee over the side of the cup. ‘Fine. I’ll change it back to the original plan.’

Nathan watched Bill as he stormed across the large cabin and slammed the door behind him. None of the crew even batted an eyelid. This obviously wasn’t news to them.

Rachel mopped up her coffee with a napkin. Now it was just the two of them her earlier bravado was vanishing. She was thinking about his arm on her shoulders last night and the way he’d just sat and held her until she’d composed herself. When she’d finally taken a deep breath and felt calm, he’d just given a little nod and stood up and strolled off into the sunset.

She’d no idea where he’d gone. But it had given her a chance to go back to the shared cabin, have a quick wash and change and hide in her room. She’d lain there for hours until she’d eventually heard the click of the door.

But she was a fool. He hadn’t come to speak to her. And she should be grateful. Her initial reaction to him earlier had been pure and utter shock. She’d more or less said she couldn’t work with him, which wasn’t true. He’d just been the last person she’d expected to see.

Nathan’s breakfast plate was empty, as was his coffee cup, and he picked them up. ‘I’ve heard that filming last night varied from boring to very boring. I think they were trying to spice things up today at one of the challenges and I’m not sure I trust Bill not to still try. Are you happy to come along to the filming?’

She nodded as she glanced at the now congealed egg on her plate. Her appetite had definitely left her.

He stood up. ‘I’ve also put up a notice saying we’ll have a surgery every morning for an hour for the crew. Anyone with any difficulties. I take it you don’t have a problem with that?’

She gulped. She was an experienced medical physician. Why did the thought of general practice fill her with fear? ‘That should be fine.’ No way did she want to express any concerns around Nathan. He’d already seen her wobble last night. That was already once too many.

‘Good,’ he said. ‘We start in ten minutes.’

He walked out ahead of her as she scrambled to pick up her tray and she felt a flash of annoyance. Ratbag. This was something they actually should have sat down and discussed together. He wasn’t senior to her. They were both here as doctors. She could almost bet if she were any other person he would have discussed this with her first.

A few of the crew were waiting when she arrived. Thankfully, there was nothing too difficult to diagnose. A few chesty crackles, another inhaler for someone and an emergency supply of blood pressure tablets for someone who’d misplaced their own.

An hour later, Ron arrived in a Jeep to pick up her and Nathan and take them to the first challenge on the other side of the island.

‘Challenge has been changed,’ were Ron’s first words.

‘What a surprise,’ said Nathan. ‘What to?’

‘The underground scramble.’ Ron kept driving while Rachel exchanged a glance with Nathan. The underground scramble was not a challenge she’d want to do. She searched her brain. Several of the celebrities suffered from claustrophobia and would have to be exempt from scrambling through the dark underground tunnels filled with a variety of creatures.

‘What about Diamond?’ she asked. ‘I think there’s too big a risk of infection.’

‘I agree. I’ll tell the producer she’s ineligible.’

‘Shouldn’t that have been decided before the public voted?’

Ron looked over his shoulder. ‘Don’t worry about it. Vote’s already decided that Darius will be doing the challenge. Diamond’s safe.’

Nathan’s eyes fixed hard on her as her stomach flipped over. A man who’d just undergone a bout of chemotherapy shouldn’t be dragging himself through dirty, water-filled tunnels with a variety of biting creatures and insects. But she already knew what he’d say.

‘I’ll need to speak to Darius before he starts,’ she murmured.

Ron laughed. ‘Don’t think you’ll have a chance. They’ll announce live on TV it’s him and do the challenge immediately afterwards. You won’t have time to talk.’

‘But I need time. He’ll get a safety briefing, won’t he? I’ll make time then.’

Nathan’s gaze narrowed. ‘What’s wrong? Doesn’t he like the dark? If he can’t do a challenge shouldn’t I know about it?’

She pushed back her retort. Nathan was right. It was already a bugbear that Darius was her ex. The fact that his medical details hadn’t been released to Nathan was obviously annoying him. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her choice.

But she was being paid to do a job. And she wouldn’t be doing a good job if she didn’t warn Darius of the risks to his health—whether he listened or not.

‘He can do the challenge—and I’m sure he will. I just need to discuss some underlying issues with him.’

Nathan folded his arms across his chest and fixed his gaze back on the road ahead. The jungle foliage was beginning to thin as they reached the hollowed out tunnels at the other side of the island.

All of the celebrities were perched on a bench, talking to the hosts. Rachel jumped from the Jeep and made her way quickly to the entrance of the caves. ‘How deep are they and what’s in them?’ she asked one of the nearby crew.

He guided her over to the side, where some TV screens were set up, showing the cameras with infrared filters that were positioned in the man-made tunnels. She grimaced at the sight of scampering creatures. ‘Anything that bites and could break the skin?’

One of the rangers nodded. ‘Just about everything.’

Rachel squeezed her eyes closed and pushed her way past the hosts, grabbing hold of Darius’s arm. She was making an executive decision. This whole thing was fake anyway. She was pretty sure the only thing that was real was the viewers’ votes.

‘What’s wrong, Rachel?’ Darius’s brow creased as he glanced to make sure no one could overhear them.

‘I don’t think you should do this challenge,’ she said quickly. ‘There’s a strong possibility of getting cuts, bites or scrapes. Any break to the skin is a risk of infection and your immunity will already be low right now. There’s no telling what the infection risks are from the unknown creatures or the dirty water.’

Darius shot her his famous soap star smile as he realised what her words meant. ‘Lighten up, Rach. I’ve won the public vote? Fantastic.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not worried about the tunnels. Why should you be?’ He glanced over her shoulder. She could already tell that Nathan had closed in and was listening to their conversation. ‘You can check me over for broken skin when I come out.’ Darius gave her a wink and walked back to the bench with the other celebrities.

The producer hurried over to her, hissing in her ear. ‘What are you doing? You’ll spoil everything. This is supposed to be a surprise.’

She spun around. ‘My job. That’s what I’m doing. And what are you worried about—didn’t you know Darius is one of the most famous soap stars in Australia? I’m sure he can act surprised.’

She stomped away back to the television screens. Darius was more concerned about his screen time and popularity than his health. It was maddening.

Nathan appeared at her side. ‘Are you going to tell me what’s going on?’

She gritted her teeth. ‘I can’t.’

He turned without another word and walked away.

After shooting her a few glares, the TV hosts smiled right on cue for their live broadcast. Darius was suitably surprised when he found out he’d been voted for the challenge. He smiled all through the televised safety briefing, then dived head first into the tunnels. Some of them were a tight fit. There was no way the sportsman could have forced his way through these tunnels. If Darius had been at his normal weight he probably wouldn’t have fitted either. He must have lost a little weight during chemotherapy. In the end he completed the challenge in a few minutes and emerged wet and muddy with his rewards in his hands. There was a large gash on one leg and a few nips on the other from some baby alligators.

She waited impatiently for the filming to finish. ‘In the Jeep,’ she said as the cameras stopped.

Darius flinched and rubbed at the open wound. ‘I think we’re supposed to go back directly to camp.’

Nathan appeared at his back. ‘Do what the good lady says. You won’t like her when she’s angry.’

There it was. That little hint to Darius that he actually knew her a whole lot better than Darius did. She could see the instant recognition on Darius’s face as they eyed each other suspiciously. It was ridiculous—like pistols at dawn. She was irritated enough already and this wasn’t helping.

Ron appeared, sweating as always, and smiling. ‘Back to the medical centre then, folks?’

All three climbed wordlessly into the Jeep. The journey back seemed so much longer. Ron talked merrily as if he hadn’t noticed the atmosphere in the car, dropping them all at the path leading down to the medical centre.

Rachel strode ahead, flinging open the door and pulling things from cupboards. She gestured towards the examination trolley. ‘Climb up there.’

She was so angry with them both right now she couldn’t even look at them. Darius for being so stupid and Nathan for being so stubborn. Part of her knew that Nathan was right. Any other doctor would want to know the patient’s history too.

But any other doctor wouldn’t get under her skin and grate like Nathan could.

He was like a permanent itch. Part of her still felt guilty around him. Part of her felt angry. Irrational? Yes, of course. She was the one who had walked away. She had left him and Charlie and put herself first.

Even if she could turn back the clock she wouldn’t change that—no matter how much it had hurt them both. Her outcome could have been so different. She was one of the lucky ones; she knew that. She’d had her treatment and reached the five-year magic survival milestone. That was good; that was positive.

But this whole place had just thrown her into turmoil. She’d distanced herself from Darius these last few years. He needed to find others to rely on. Coming here had been a mistake.

As for the sizzle in the air whenever she and Nathan were in the same room? She really couldn’t have predicted it. If anyone had asked her, she would have sworn it would never exist again. But it did exist. Every time she looked at him her skin tingled. Every time he stood close enough, all the little hairs on her body stood on end, almost willing him to come into contact. She couldn’t control her body’s responses. And it was driving her nuts.

She washed her hands and opened the sterile dressing pack. Nathan had angled a lamp over Darius’s leg, even though he hadn’t touched it. He seemed to sense it was wise to stay out of her way.

She slipped on her gloves and leaned over to get a good look at the wound. It was around four inches long and ragged, with a few tiny pieces of debris. She took a deep breath and irrigated with saline, removing the debris with tweezers. ‘It’s not deep enough to stitch. I’ll close it with paper stitches. But it does give a route of entry for infection. Who knows what was in that mud or those tunnels? You’re going to need this dressed and observed every day.’

Darius sighed. ‘That seems like overkill. This place is miles away from the campsite. I don’t want to have to come here every day. The rest of the celebrities will think I’m getting special treatment—either that or they’ll think something is wrong.’

Nathan cleared his throat loudly. ‘Actually, Darius, Rachel’s right. And it isn’t overkill. Since Rachel has highlighted you’re susceptible to infection, I think it would be wise to put you on antibiotics. It’s pretty much a given you’re going to get some kind of infection in that wound.’

Rachel was surprised to hear Nathan back her so quickly. She finished cleaning the wound and applied some antiseptic cream and a dressing.

‘It might be easier all round if either I or Rachel come up to the campsite every day to dress the wound. We can bring supplies with us and it should only take a few minutes. That way, it’s pretty obvious why you’re being seen. It’s not special treatment. It’s wound care.’

Darius nodded. He seemed oblivious to the fact she was mad at him. But of course the world revolved around Darius. At least his world did. What made her more curious was the way Nathan was actually giving him some leeway. She hadn’t expected it. Hadn’t expected it at all.

‘That sounds great. Thanks for that.’ He slid his legs from the examination couch while she got rid of the waste and Nathan dispensed some antibiotics. He held them out for Darius. ‘You do realise I’ll tell the producer you can’t be eligible for tomorrow’s challenge?’

‘What?’ He had Darius’s instant attention. ‘But it sounds like one of the best ones!’

‘You can’t go swimming and diving with a potentially infected leg. No way.’

Nathan was still holding onto the antibiotics. All credit to him. He knew exactly how to deal with Darius.

‘But it’ll look as if I’m using it as an excuse not to take part.’

Nathan shrugged. ‘The producer and director have to abide by our recommendations. Feel free to say on camera that the docs have refused to let you take part. Feel free to let the world know you’ve got a potentially life-threatening infection in your leg.’

Rachel could almost see the headlines running through Darius’s head. He gave a little nod. ‘Thanks for this.’ He took the antibiotics and a bottle of water from Nathan. ‘I’ll see you both tomorrow.’

He exited the medical centre and disappeared down the path to where Ron was waiting to drive him back to camp.

Rachel folded her arms and leaned against the wall. She could tell Nathan knew she was watching him. He started opening the filing cabinet and flicking through notes.

‘That was very kind of you. What’s going on?’

He glanced upwards. ‘I have no idea what you mean.’

‘Yeah, right. We both know you don’t like Darius. Why are you being so obliging?’

Nathan sat down behind the desk. ‘How much weight has he lost recently?’

She blinked. It wasn’t the response she’d expected.

She shook her head. ‘I’m not sure. He lost weight a few months ago. I just presumed he hasn’t put it back on again yet. He is looking a little gaunt, but I’m sure once his time in camp has passed he’ll be fine. All the celebrities lose some weight in camp.’

Nathan looked thoughtful. ‘I don’t care that you’re not telling me his medical history. I just don’t like the look of him.’ His mouth curled upwards for a second. There was a definite glint in his eye. ‘In more ways than one.’ He looked serious again. ‘I think there could be something else going on with Darius Cornell.’

She took a deep breath. She was having a professional conversation with Nathan Banks. It was just so weird. She’d been so wrapped up in Darius’s history of non-Hodgkin’s and keeping it confidential she hadn’t really thought about anything else. Sometimes you needed someone else to help you look at the big picture.

She bit the inside of her lip and gave a little sigh of recognition. ‘This way we get to keep a direct eye on him every day?’

Nathan smiled. ‘You got it.’

So this was what working with Nathan Banks could be like. She’d waited over eight years to find out. She’d never really expected it to happen. Even though they’d attended the same university, they’d never actually worked on a ward together. Once they’d qualified, choosing different specialities meant that it was unlikely to ever happen. This had been totally unexpected.

She watched as he flicked through a few files. His hair was so short she had an urge to run her palm over his head and feel the little bristle beneath her skin. He must have got used to wearing it in the buzz-cut style while he was working away.

The first thing she’d noticed was the little lines around his eyes. He’d aged. But, like most men, he’d done it in a good way. He’d lost the fresh face of youth and replaced it with something much more lived in and a whole lot more worldly-wise.

Nathan had always managed to take her breath away. Before, it had been with his good nature, laughter and sex appeal. Now, it was something entirely different. The man in front of her made her suck her breath between her teeth and just hold it there. He had so much presence. His bulkier frame filled the room. But it was whatever was hidden behind his eyes that made her unable to release the breath screaming in her lungs.

It could be a whole variety of things. The loss of his parents. His time over the world for Doctors Without Borders. Did Nathan have a medical history she didn’t know about? Why had he changed his career pathway? It could even be the fact that his brother had now settled down with a family before him. But she doubted that very much.

She wanted to peel back the layers. She wanted a diary of the missing years. But she wanted it all about Nathan, without revealing anything of herself.

Pathetic, really.

But she just wasn’t ready to go there.

His head lifted and their gazes meshed. ‘Is there anyone else you’re worried about?’ he asked.

Her brain scrambled. You. Me. She bit back the obvious replies.

‘Ron,’ she said quickly. ‘I don’t know if he just has a sweating disorder but I’d like to check him over.’

Nathan nodded. ‘Me too. We’ll get him in soon.’

He stood up and walked over to the door. ‘I’m going to go for a run along the beach before we need to supervise the diving challenge.’

Rachel bit her lip. An empty beach and the open ocean sounded like a great idea. Somewhere to clear her head. Somewhere to get her thoughts together. But if Nathan was going to be there it was too crowded already.

She stood up. ‘I’m going to go and talk to the production crew about the diving challenge. I’ll talk to you later.’

As she stepped outside the medical centre she took a few gulps of air. This island seemed to be getting smaller by the second …

CHAPTER SIX

RACHEL STRETCHED OUT on the sun lounger and wiggled her toes, the only part of her currently in the sun. The last few days had been odd. After the hiccup on the first day and Darius’s minor injuries on the challenge, things had pretty much been how Lewis had promised. A few hours’ work every day followed by hours and hours to kill. That would be fine if they were staying at a luxury resort, or in the middle of a city. Instead, they were on an island with a distinct lack of facilities and where the only entertainment was the Z-list celebrities. The days seemed longer than ever.

The challenges had been going well. Frank, the sportsman, had aced the diving challenge around the coral reef without managing to do himself any damage. The next challenge had been to scale a thirty-foot tree to reach a fake bird’s-nest. Billy X, the rapper, had proved surprisingly agile but Darius had obviously been annoyed that he’d not been voted for by the public.

His wound was gradually healing and the antibiotics seemed to have warded off any sign of infection. He still wasn’t looking any better though and Rachel had started to wonder if they should be monitoring his weight. The celebrities had to prepare and cook their own food over a campfire and, even though there weren’t excessive amounts of food, there was still enough to keep them sustained. Maybe Nathan was right—maybe there was something else to worry about?

She shifted uncomfortably on the sun lounger. If Darius’s non-Hodgkin’s relapsed he would be in big trouble. He had already relapsed twice. Each treatment plan had been more intense than the one before. She knew firsthand exactly what these treatment plans involved. He wouldn’t be able to keep his illness a secret much longer.

She heard muffled voices up in the trees around her. The crew were gossiping again. She smiled. They were a great bunch but sometimes it was like being trapped on an island with a bunch of teenage girls.

Thankfully, no one seemed to have picked up on the tension between her and Nathan. Or, if they had, she hadn’t heard anyone mention it.

Ron caught her eye as he walked slowly towards the medical centre. Rachel had asked him to come in twice in as many days and she was glad he’d finally showed up. Nathan was on duty and would check him over.

As he reached out his hand towards the door he winced. His face was bright red. He almost looked as though he could burst.

She hesitated for a few seconds. Nathan was an experienced A & E doctor. He could handle this—she knew he could. If she went in now, he might be resentful of her interference.

But the expression on Ron’s face couldn’t let her sit there much longer. She sat up and dug her toes into the sand for a second as she reached underneath the lounger for her sandals. She wasn’t getting much of a tan anyway. She was too worried that if she took her sundress off and just wore her bikini people might ask questions about her scar.

She wasn’t normally self-conscious and if Nathan hadn’t been on the island she would have worn her bikini without a second thought. But suddenly she was wishing she had a schoolgirl-style swimsuit in her backpack—one that covered all parts of her back and front. It might not be stylish but would stop any awkward questions.

She shook the sand from her feet and pushed them into her sandals. Ron. That was who she needed to concentrate on now. It was time to stop fretting about the future and put her professional head back into place.

Nathan was feeling restless. The last few nights he hadn’t been able to sleep. Lying in a cabin with only two thin walls separating him and Rachel was driving him crazy. Every time he heard the shower running he imagined her soaping her smooth skin under the spluttering water. He imagined the water running in rivulets down her straight spine, in long lines down to her painted pink toes.

The pink toes had been haunting him. It was practically the only part of her skin that could freely be seen. Unlike the rest of the crew on the island, Rachel had kept herself well covered up. T-shirts and long shorts coupled with socks and hiking boots were the flavour of the day. Even in the evening she wore long pants and long-sleeved T-shirts. The only part visible were her toes.

All his memories of nights with Rachel had revolved around short satin nightdresses and shoestring straps. There certainly hadn’t been a lack of skin.

And it certainly wasn’t helping his male libido. His imagination was currently working overtime. He needed to find himself a distraction, a hobby. But finding something else to do on this island was proving harder than he’d thought.

He’d put a call through to Len to see what his plans were for later. Maybe a hike around the island would help him think about other things.

Nathan was just replacing his phone when the door opened. Ron walked in, panting heavily, with a strange expression on his face and his signature sweat marks on his grey T-shirt.

He really didn’t look great. His face was highly coloured with beads of sweat on his brow. Nathan stood up quickly and helped him over to the examination trolley, lifting his legs up onto it and helping him to rest back.

He could hear Ron rasping for breath so he switched on the monitoring equipment, connected it and pulled an oxygen mask over Ron’s face.

‘How long have you been feeling unwell?’

‘Just … today,’ Ron wheezed.

The blood pressure cuff started to inflate. ‘Ron, are you having any chest pain?’

Ron frowned. ‘Not really. Well … maybe a little.’

Great. He’d suspected Ron wasn’t feeling great but he hadn’t responded to any of Nathan’s invitations to be checked over. Right now, he had heart attack written all over him.

Nathan looked at the reading on the monitor and opened the drug cabinet, taking out an aspirin. First line treatment for an MI. Actually—the only treatment they had on this island. Not ideal. Still, it was better to be safe than sorry. ‘Here, take this.’ He handed Ron the tablet and a glass of water.

‘Not really pain.’ Ron continued. ‘Just indigestion.’

‘Indigestion? How often?’

Ron thumped the glass of water back down; even taking a sip had been an effort. ‘Every day,’ he gasped.

Nathan raised his eyebrows. ‘Ever had problems with your blood pressure?’

Ron gave a nod.

‘Does your indigestion come on when you’re working?’

Another nod.

‘Does it ever go down your arm?’

Ron’s high colour started to pale. The oxygen was finally getting into his system and his heart rate was starting to steady.

‘How bad is your indigestion today?’

‘B … bad.’

‘Feels like something is pressing on your chest?’

Nathan stood at the side of the examination trolley. He watched the monitor closely. It gave a clear tracing of Ron’s heart rate. The PQRS waves were all visible. No ST elevation. ‘The good news is you’re not having a heart attack. The bad news is you’ve probably got angina—and had it for quite a while. I’m going to give you a spray under your tongue to see if that eases the tightness across your chest.’

It only took a second to administer the spray and another few minutes for it to take effect. Nathan frowned. In a way it was a relief that angina was Ron’s problem but on an island this would be difficult. Uncontrolled angina could easily lead to a heart attack. Ron really needed to be reviewed by a cardiologist. Chances were, an angiogram would reveal blocked arteries that would need to be stented and cleared. He could just imagine how Ron would take the news. But keeping him here would be dangerous. They didn’t have the equipment that would be needed if Ron did have a heart attack. Apart from aspirin, they didn’t have any clot-busting drugs.

‘Ron, I think you probably know this isn’t indigestion you’ve been having. It looks like angina. You need a twelve-lead ECG, a cardiac echo and an angiogram—none of which we can do here.’

Ron waved his hand. ‘I can get all that when we get back to the mainland. I’ll be fine until then.’

Nathan sat down next to the examination trolley. ‘It’s too big a risk. Tell the truth, Ron; you’re having angina every time you exert yourself.’ He nodded at the monitor. ‘Your blood pressure is too high and you’re constantly out of breath. Your heart is working too hard because the blood vessels aren’t clear. You need to see a cardiologist.’

Ron shook his head. ‘Forget it. I’ll be fine.’

‘No, you won’t.’ Nathan turned at the voice. Rachel was standing at the doorway, wearing her trademark pink. This time it wasn’t a T-shirt and long shorts. This time it was a pink summer dress. She must have been down on the beach. His eyes went immediately to her painted toenails, visible in her flat jewelled sandals.

She walked over next to the trolley and put her hand in Ron’s. He met her gaze immediately. Rachel had the people-person touch. In A & E you rarely got a chance to form any kind of a relationship with your patients. Medical physicians were different. They frequently saw their patients year on year.

‘Ron, it’s time to look after yourself. This really can’t wait. Tell me honestly—how long have you been having these symptoms?’

Ron hesitated. His breathing had gradually improved. ‘A few months.’

‘Have you seen anyone about this?’

He shook his head. ‘I’ve just kept taking my blood pressure tablets.’ He gave a rueful smile. ‘I did think it was indigestion.’ He pulled a pack of a well-known brand of antacids from his pocket. ‘I’ve been going through half a packet of these a day.’

Nathan could tell that Rachel was hiding a wince behind her smile. ‘If your symptoms have been getting worse then it’s definitely time for some investigations. We don’t need to call a medevac to get you off the island, but we can arrange for you to go back by seaplane. We can arrange that for tomorrow. In the meantime I’ll give you a spray and some instructions on how to use it. I don’t want you going back to work. I want you to rest.’

Nathan watched carefully. For some reason Ron seemed to relate better to Rachel’s instructions than his. She had a gift for talking to patients. Her tone was firm but friendly. He liked it.

His time working for Doctors Without Borders had been fraught. There had hardly been any time for conversations like this. As soon as he finished patching one patient—he was on to the next. There was barely time to think, let alone speak.

He sucked in a breath for a second. Something else had just struck him. He’d spent five years working with people, but not getting close—never staying in one place long enough to form true relationships. That thought started to chip away at his brain as he watched Rachel empathise and relate to Ron.

Rachel squeezed Ron’s hand. ‘Stay here for the next few hours, then I’ll take you down to the canteen for dinner. We can have a further talk about things then.’

It was almost as if a giant weight had been lifted from Ron’s shoulders. He sighed and rested back on the examination trolley, letting his eyes close. ‘Dinner with a beautiful woman,’ he muttered. ‘I’d be a fool to say no.’

Rachel shot Nathan a smile—a smile that sent a little jolt all the way down his body. Maybe it was her humanity that was drawing him in. Even though he knew better, he’d spent the last few years labelling Rachel as heartless in his head. It had been easier to do that—because he’d never been able to get his head around the way she’d walked away and left him and Charlie.

He’d known her for seven years. The first few years of university they hadn’t dated—just casually flirted. The five years after that, they’d been inseparable. Rachel had never seemed heartless to him. That just wasn’t her. That wasn’t how she worked. No one could spend five years with someone and not know them. It just wasn’t possible to put on a good enough act to hide all your flaws and character traits for that long. He did know her. Or at least he had known her.

So why had she done something so out of character? What on earth had happened?

Their eyes locked. Chocolate-brown, framed with dark lashes, her eyes had always been one of his favourite parts of her. Her tan was deepening slightly after a few days on the island. Her dark hair was pulled up at either side of her face and tied in a rumpled kind of knot, the rest sitting on her shoulders. And the pink sundress covered everything, just giving enough of a hint of the soft curves that lay underneath. Pretty as a picture. Those were the words he’d always used for Rachel in his head. And no matter how angry he’d been with her—still was with her—some things were just buried too deep. The underlying frustration and resentment was still there.

No one had hurt him like Rachel had. What she’d done was unforgivable. But now he was in her company again he kept having little flashes of the good stuff. The way she tilted back her head and laughed when she was joking with some of the crew. The way she frequently reached out and touched someone when she was talking to them. The way that every now and then she drifted off, thinking about something else. All sparked waves of memories for Nathan. Memories of good times … memories of better times. Five years of shared memories.

Why had she walked away?

She wiggled her toes, the sand from the beach obviously caught between them. He dragged his eyes away from her painted toes and stood up. ‘I’ll stay with Ron for the next few hours. Come back and take over at dinner time.’

She gave a nod and glanced around the cabin. ‘I promised Tallie I’d get her some petroleum jelly for her dry skin. She’s trying to ward off an eczema flare-up. Do you know where it is?’

He looked up from Ron’s notes and pushed the stool towards her. ‘There’s not enough storage in here. I think it’s at the top of the cupboard over there.’

‘Great, thanks.’ She dragged the stool over to the counter and climbed on top to open the cupboards. Nathan glanced at Ron. Thankfully, his eyes were still closed and he wasn’t watching Nathan fix on Rachel’s bare legs and backside as she rummaged through the cupboard. The corners of his mouth turned upwards. Most of the prescribed medicines were easily accessible but the more routine things had to be packed away wherever there was space.

After a few minutes she finally found what she was looking for. ‘Here it is.’ She bent down and placed the container on the counter at her feet, ready to jump back down. But her rummaging had dislodged a few of the precariously stacked items in the cupboard and, as she looked back up, a few packages of bandages tumbled from the cupboard, bouncing all around her. It was pure instinct. As the items started to fall, Rachel lifted her hands, crouched down and curled into a ball.

The movement made her dress ride up, and not just a little. She was wearing a bikini under her dress—pink, of course. He’d already noticed the straps tied around her neck. But this time he got a flash of something else. The bright pink bikini bottoms covered some, but not all, parts of her. She was quick to grab at her dress and pull it back down, colour flooding into her cheeks.

She spun around as he got to his feet to come over and help. She lifted her hands quickly. ‘Oops. Bit of a disaster.’ She couldn’t meet his gaze as she jumped down from the stool and made a grab for the wrapped bandages that had landed all around her. He bent to help, their hands brushing.

He saw her gulp as for a split second he caught her gaze. ‘Just as well you’ve seen it all before,’ she said quickly.

He didn’t reply. He couldn’t. He was still crouching down as she grabbed some of the bandages and set them on the counter. ‘I’ll let you get the rest. I’ll take this to Tallie and be back in a few hours.’

She rushed towards the door, still talking nervously as she made a quick exit. Nathan still hadn’t moved. He sucked in a deep breath as he reached for the last few bandages.

He couldn’t be sure—he just couldn’t be sure. But he’d seen more than enough battle scars in his time. He’d definitely seen something. But what it was he just couldn’t fathom.

He’d seen Rachel’s bare body a thousand times. He knew every contour of her body, every blemish, every mark. What he didn’t know was the flash of a surgical scar just above her right hip. He’d no idea how far it went; she’d pulled her dress back down much too quickly. And it had only been the tiniest flash. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was reading too much into something.

He closed his eyes for a second, trying to visualise what he’d just seen. It wasn’t ragged; it was clean. It couldn’t be from an accident. It had to be deliberate. It had to be surgical.

Rachel had always been in perfect health. She still looked in perfect health today. So where on earth had the scar come from and what was it?

CHAPTER SEVEN

NATHAN SAT ON the sidelines while Rachel had dinner with Ron. It was clear she was onto the health promotion part. She was pointing at his plate and obviously talking about food choices. Next she swapped his soda for a diet one. Then she persuaded him to have some salad with his steak.

Ron wasn’t eating much but the flushed colour of his cheeks had faded. Next, Rachel held his GTN spray for angina in her hands and talked him through how and when to use it.

‘Earth to Planet Nathan. Are you home?’

Len was grinning at him from the other side of the table.

‘What is it?’

Len gestured with his fork. ‘You haven’t taken your eyes off her for the last ten minutes. I keep expecting you to make an excuse to go on over there.’

‘What? No way.’ He speared a bit of his steak.

Len raised his eyebrows. ‘I know.’

‘Know what?’

‘That you two have history.’

He almost dropped his fork. ‘What do you mean?’ He shot a quick wayward glance in her direction again. He’d love to say that Len was far too observant for his own good. But Len was one of the crew members he had a rapport with. He hoped Len would be on his side.

Rachel reached across the table and put her hand over Ron’s, obviously offering some words of comfort.

Just as well he knew there was absolutely nothing in it, otherwise he was pretty sure his stomach would be twisting right now.

Len had started eating again. ‘I knew it when I talked to her down at the bar. She mentioned you then.’

‘She did?’ All of a sudden Len had his instant attention. ‘What did she say?’

Len laughed. ‘Oh, nothing good. I take it you didn’t leave things on the best of terms?’

Nathan started toying with his food. His gaze drifted back to Rachel. Her dark hair had fallen in waves over her shoulders and she’d put a pink wrap around her shoulders.

Rachel liked pink. She always had—at least seventy per cent of her wardrobe was pink. But what she probably didn’t realise was just how good she looked in the colour; it didn’t matter what the shade was. It seemed to make her lightly tanned skin glow and her dark hair and eyes shine.

He hesitated. It was obvious Len was waiting for an answer. ‘We’ve not been on the best of terms for eight years.’ The words kind of stuck in his throat. ‘Before that, we were good together …’ he paused ‘… really good.’

As he said the words out loud he realised how much they hurt. How little he understood about what had happened in his own life. Charlie was settled now. He’d grown up before his time and was married with a family. If his parents hadn’t died that was pretty much where he’d expected him and Rachel to end up. Married with a family, probably here in Australia.

But he’d lost all that. He’d lost not just the woman, but also his dreams and aspirations. The life he’d been supposed to live. The career pathway he’d had all plotted out in his head without even knowing if he could be a decent surgeon. He’d barely had the chance to hold a surgical scalpel.

The resentment had flowed through his blood for years. He’d resented her for walking away and leaving him. He’d resented her for carrying on with her career. He’d resented the fact she’d had a life whilst he felt as if he’d been stuck in limbo.

His training in London hadn’t fulfilled him; it hadn’t captured his passion and enthusiasm and he’d wondered if he would ever get that back.

Joining Doctors Without Borders was his way out. It was his way of trying to live again. Trying to feel useful. He’d saved lives. He knew he had. And knowing that had helped in a way. He might not have been able to save his parents, but he had been able to save others. And for five years he had. In lots of different ways. He still felt a little numb. Some days that had been the only way to survive out there, to just block out certain things so you could continue to function. But the camaraderie with the other staff had been amazing. He’d felt valued—an essential part of the team. He’d worked hard to make others feel that way too and do the absolute best job that he could.

And he’d made friends—good friends that he would have for life.

But the truth was that everyone burned out over there. He had too.

And once you’d burned out it was time to leave. The bosses at Doctors Without Borders often recognised it before the staff did.

Australia had always been the aspiration. Now, it was a reality. But it wasn’t working out quite how he had thought. Lewis was a good colleague. And the hospital he’d been working in was fine. But, the truth was, when he woke up in the morning his job wasn’t the first thing on his mind.

He’d changed. Life had changed. And as he glanced across the canteen he wondered how life had changed for Rachel too.

Len cleared his throat, then took a drink of his beer. He was off duty tonight. Officially, Nathan was off duty too. But even a couple of beers didn’t appeal.

‘Well, maybe it’s time.’

Nathan frowned. ‘Time to do what?’

‘Time to find out if eight years’ worth of bad feeling is worth it.’ He winked at Nathan. ‘I’ve got a nice bottle of chilled Barramundi behind the bar.’ He nodded towards the wall that had the shooting schedule on it. ‘There’s nothing scheduled for tonight. Nothing will happen, apart from the celebrities fighting over whose turn it is to empty the dunny. Why don’t you take a seat down at the beach with the fine lady and have a chat? I hear the sunsets around here are to die for.’

‘Not a chance.’ The words were out of his mouth immediately. He hadn’t even given it a moment’s consideration in his head.

Because it was more than a little tempting.

Len stood up. ‘Well, if you change your mind I’ll leave the bottle in some ice at the bar. Up to you, buddy. I’ll see you tomorrow at the cliffs. Let’s see how fast you can climb.’

Rachel and Ron had stood up and were clearing their trays. Len picked up his and walked over to the kitchen doors, exchanging a few words with them on the way.

Nathan stared down at his steak. The food here had been surprisingly good. He’d heard from the crew that television jobs were often judged on the catering and, if Celebrity Island was anything to go by, people would be fighting to get a job here. But his appetite had left him.

The seed that had planted in his brain earlier was beginning to bloom and grow. The more he was around Rachel, the more he realised just how much he’d done to try and avoid being in the same position again—the position where Rachel walking away had hurt more than any physical pain he’d experienced.

He’d spent eight years never really forming true relationships. He still had a good relationship with his brother, Charlie, and a few good friends from university. But other than that? The experience of losing his parents and Rachel so soon after seemed to have affected him more than he’d realised. Trusting someone with his heart again just seemed like a step too far. It was much easier to totally absorb himself in work and other issues. Trouble was, this island didn’t have enough work to keep him fully occupied, leaving him with far too much thinking time.

He cleared his tray and murmured a few words of greeting to some of the other crew members. He didn’t feel like socialising tonight, but on an island as small as this—with some parts out of bounds for filming—it could be difficult to find some space. The atmosphere in the cabin was becoming claustrophobic. And he was sure it was all him. Rachel seemed relaxed and at ease. She’d obviously got over the whole thing years ago. It wasn’t giving her sleepless nights.

He kicked off his trainers and wandered down to the beach. The path was only lit with a few dull lights and the insects were buzzing furiously around him. The waves around this island were a disappointment. Nathan had counted on spending a few hours in the surf every day but it wasn’t to be. As a result, he hadn’t spent much time on the beach.

He saw her as soon as his feet touched the cool sand. Saw the pink wrap around her, rippling in the nighttime breeze.

Len had obviously whispered in her ear. A silver wine cooler was on the sand next to the sun lounger she was sitting on, a glass of wine already in her hand.

He should leave her in peace. She was probably trying to escape, just like he was.

Or he could join her. He could ask her about Ron. It was a pathetic excuse. Even he knew that. But from a fellow medic it was a reasonable question. He stuck his hands deep into his shorts pockets as he moved across the sand towards her.

She was silhouetted against the warm setting sun, which sent a peachy glow across her skin. The condensation was visible on her wine glass as she took a sip.

‘Don’t spoil this, Nathan.’

Her words almost stopped him in his tracks. He paused for a second, his toes curling against the sand. He knew exactly what she meant. But somehow he still didn’t want to go there with her.

‘Don’t worry. Wine’s not really my thing. I prefer a beer.’ He missed out the obvious remark. Remember?

It was flippant, completely circumventing the whole issue. She didn’t turn at his voice, just kept her gaze fixed on the horizon and let out a sigh.

She sipped at her wine. ‘I’m tired, Nathan. I’m tired of all this.’

It seemed as if the barriers were finally down. Rachel was saying what had been on her mind since she’d first set foot in the medical cabin and caught sight of him.

If she’d said those words a few days ago his temper would have flared. How dare she be the one to be tired of the atmosphere between them when it was just as much her fault as his?

But the last few days had made his head spin. He couldn’t work out how he really felt about her.

He’d felt it all. Searing jealousy when Darius had appeared. A whole host of sensations when his skin had come into contact with hers. Confusion and rage for the first few days. Flares of passion. His gaze couldn’t help but linger on her when he thought she wouldn’t notice. Certain glances, nuances, would make his heartbeat quicken and send his blood racing around his body. All sensations he wanted to deny, to ignore.

He hadn’t expected to see Rachel again. And he certainly hadn’t expected to feel like this around her. Feeling was the problem. It was interfering with everything and because they were virtually stranded on an island together, that seemed to amplify it all.

He stepped forward—it felt like crossing a line—and bumped down on the sun lounger beside her. Her barriers were down. Maybe it was time for some home truths.

She shuffled over a little to make room for him. He reached over and took the glass from her hand, taking a sip of the chilled wine and handing it back. His eyes were focused entirely on the orange setting sun. It seemed easier. Like sitting in a movie theatre together.

The sharp wine hit the back of his throat.

‘I didn’t expect to see you again, Rach.’ He let the words hang in the air between them.

When she finally spoke she didn’t sound quite so exasperated. ‘I didn’t expect to see you again either.’

She turned her head towards him. Her voice had changed; it wasn’t so strong. There was the tiniest waver. ‘I don’t know how to be around you. I don’t know how to act. I don’t know what’s normal for us any more. I don’t think things can ever feel normal for us again.’

She was right. She was saying everything that was running through his head. They’d gone from normal to nothing. One day she’d been there—the next she had gone. With a fifteen-minute fraught and tearful conversation tacked on the end.

This situation was alien to them both.

After spending a couple of years at university together with flirtation and attraction, he’d finally acted on instinct and asked her out. They’d been together for five years—through finals, through placements as medical students and then out into the world together as junior doctors, and then senior house officers.

Their relationship had been good. There had been passion and mutual respect in equal measures with only the occasional cross word. She’d been his best friend. Losing her had devastated him at a time when he’d needed her most.

In a way it was a relief that she was struggling with this too. He’d always thought he’d been instantly replaced by Darius Cornell. He’d never understood how she could just walk away from their relationship without a backward glance. And it made him doubt himself—doubt his own ability to read people. He’d questioned that he’d ever known her at all.

She turned her body towards his. ‘Would it help if I said sorry? I’m sorry that I left?’

‘It would help if you told me why you left.’ It came out without any censorship. Without any thought. After eight years, he had to say the thing that was truly on his mind. He needed an explanation. He deserved an explanation.

She paused, obviously searching her brain for the right words. ‘I had to go.’ The words were measured—deliberate. ‘It was the right thing for me. It was the right thing for you. It was the right thing for Charlie.’

The mention of his brother made his temper flare. ‘Don’t you dare tell me that was the right thing for my brother. You weren’t there. You didn’t see. You chose to not see. In a world of madness you were the one thing to give him a sense of normality. You never even told him you were going. Have you any idea how hurt he was? He’d just lost his mum and dad. He didn’t need to lose someone else who’d been a permanent fixture in his life for five years.’

A tear rolled down her cheek. She reached over and touched his arm, the cold fingers from the wine glass causing him to flinch. ‘I know that. Don’t you think I know that? And I’m sorry. It broke my heart; it really did. But I had to. I just had to.’ She was shaking her head, oh, so slowly. As if she’d had no choice. But that was rubbish. There was always a choice.

It was words. It was just words. There was no explanation. No rational reason to explain what she’d done. But it was just the two of them sitting alone on this sun lounger on the beach in the glow of the setting sun. And she was confusing him all over again. How could she still do that after eight years?

He could see the sincerity in her eyes. He could hear the emotion in her voice. She wasn’t lying to him; she meant every word—even if she wouldn’t explain them.

Frustration was simmering in his chest. All he wanted was an explanation. A reason. Something he could make sense of in his head. ‘Why, Rach? Why can’t you tell me now? It’s been eight years. Surely whatever mattered then is in the past?’

Her lips were quivering, her fingertips still on his arm. He could feel the tension in the air between them, hanging like the fireflies above their heads. But there was more than that. There was the buzz, the electricity that still sparked between them.

All he wanted to do was reach up and catch the tear that was rolling down her cheek and wipe it away.

But she moved first. Something flitted across her eyes and she leaned forward, crossing the gap between them. Her perfume surrounded his senses, invading every part of him. He stopped breathing as her lips touched his. It was gentle, coaxing. Her fingertips moved from his arm to the side of his cheek.

His first reaction was to pull back. He’d thought about this from the first second he’d seen her. But he hadn’t actually imagined it would happen. He hadn’t even let his mind go that far.

But his body had other ideas. His hand tangled through her long hair, settling at the back of her head and pulling her closer to him.

He couldn’t think straight. But he could kiss.

And Rachel was kissing him right back.

Her fingers brushed against his tightly shorn hair, sending tingles down his spine as the kiss intensified.

Eight long years he’d waited to do this again. Eight long years to feel her familiar lips against his. They fitted, just the way they always had. Memories of kissing Rachel swamped him.

In their student accommodation … in one of the on-call rooms in the hospital … at one of the hospital balls … and on the street one night in the pouring rain when they just couldn’t wait to get home.

All of those memories raced around his head. This was too tempting. She was too tempting. Her hair was softer than cashmere, the skin around her neck and shoulders smoother than silk.

His hands slid down her back, feeling the contours of her spine and the curve of her hips. He paused. This was where he thought he’d glimpsed a scar. But now his brain felt as if it were playing tricks on him.

Every pore in his body wanted to move closer, to lie backwards on the sun lounger and pull her body against his. To feel the warm curves underneath her sundress press against the hard angles of his body. But the beach was too exposed. Any minute now some of the crew could appear. Anything that happened between him and Rachel was private—not for public consumption.

Then he felt it—the tear brush against his cheek. Was it the one that was already there? Or was she still crying?

He sucked in a breath. She gently pulled her lips from his, not breaking contact, leaving her forehead resting against his while she gave a few little gasps.

He had so many unanswered questions. So many things he wanted to say.

But she lifted her finger and placed it against his lips before he had a chance to speak. She gave the tiniest shake of her head. As if she was still trying to stay in the moment. Not trying to face up to the past, the present or the future.

His hand lifted and stroked her cheek. It was wet with tears. ‘Rach?’ he murmured.

She pulled back, her cheeks glistening. ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I really am. But I just can’t talk about it. I can’t give us that time back. I just can’t.’ Her voice cracked and she stumbled to her feet, making a grab for her wrap. ‘I’m sorry. This was a mistake. I need to go.’

She was off in a flash, running towards the path away from the beach and back to the cabins. Nathan didn’t move. His heart was thudding against his chest. The caveman instinct in him wanted to run after her. But he could hardly get his head around what had just happened. Why had she kissed him?

He’d wanted to kiss her … but Rachel? Making the first move? It left him stunned.

Then his legs moved before he had a chance to think any more.

No. No, he wouldn’t let her do this. He wouldn’t let her disappear out of his life without explaining what had just happened. He pounded across the sand after her, catching up easily and grabbing her hand, spinning her around until she was back in his arms. His heart was thudding and his breathing rapid.

‘No, Rach. Don’t do this. This is it. This is the chance to clear the air between us. You have to tell me. Don’t you think after all this time I deserve to know?’

Her face was wet with tears now. He hated that. He hated to think he had anything to do with that.

But he couldn’t let this go. He just couldn’t. It was time for the truth.

His voice was rich with emotion. ‘Tell me.’

It was the thing that she’d always dreaded. The thing she’d never thought she would have to explain.

A thousand variations of the truth spun around in her head. Everything about it swamped her. The words she didn’t want to say out loud just came to her lips. It was almost involuntary, but she’d been holding it in so long it just had to come out.

‘I had renal cancer,’ she whispered. Her voice could barely be heard above the quiet waves. The final rays of the sun had vanished now. The beach was in complete darkness, with only the occasional twinkling star.

Every part of Nathan’s body stiffened. He turned towards her. He couldn’t hide the horror written across his face. ‘What? When? Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t anyone tell me?’ He stiffened. It was as if something in his brain had just clicked. ‘That’s what the scar is on your back? You had your kidney removed?’

Her heart squeezed. It was obvious he was totally and utterly stunned.

The tears spilled down her cheeks and she nodded. ‘No one knew. I didn’t tell anyone.’ Her voice broke.

His arms moved from her shoulders. This time he put both his hands on the tops of her arms. He shook his head. ‘But why, Rachel? Why would you go through something like that alone? Why wouldn’t you tell me?’

Anger flared inside her. Years of pent-up frustration at having to do what she’d thought was right. ‘How could I? You and Charlie had just lost your parents. You were barely holding it together. I almost didn’t go for the tests. I knew something wasn’t quite right, but I’d pushed all that to one side while I’d helped you plan the funeral.’

‘You ignored your symptoms because of me? Because of Charlie?’ He looked horrified. He kept shaking his head. ‘But when did you find out? When did you get the results?’

Her voice was shaking. ‘Just before I left. I arranged to get my treatment in Australia.’

‘That’s why you left? That’s why you left me?’ He was furious now. The ire in his voice was only vaguely clouded by disbelief.

She shook his hands off her arms. ‘Yes, that’s why I left. Why did you think I left? Because I didn’t love you any more?’ She was shouting now; she couldn’t help it. ‘Why? Why would I do that? Do you know what the statistics are for renal cancer? Do you know how it’s graded? You think I should have stayed? I should have stayed and put you and Charlie under even more pressure, even more stress? You were broken, Nathan—you both were. Can you imagine getting through your parents’ funeral and spending the next year trying to support a girlfriend who might die? What would that have done to you? What would that have done to Charlie? Why on earth would I do that to two people that I loved?’

She was almost spitting the words out now, all the years of pent-up frustration firing through her veins. All the anger. All the bitterness of being on her own and not being supported by the people that she’d loved. She’d had her mother, but their relationship had been different. She hadn’t lived with her for more than seven years—since she’d gone to the UK and started university. It wasn’t the same as having the people she’d grown to love beside her. It wasn’t just Nathan and Charlie she’d walked away from—she’d also left her father. He’d tried to understand, he really had, but it had changed their relationship too.

Nathan stood up and paced the beach with his hands on his hips, his head constantly shaking. ‘I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that’s why you left. You didn’t trust me? You didn’t trust me enough to tell me about the cancer? You didn’t think I would support you through it? You didn’t think I could handle it?’

He was angry but she felt even angrier. If she could stamp her feet on the soft sand that was exactly what she’d be doing.

‘That’s just it. I knew you would support me through it. And I knew Charlie would too. But in a year’s time you might have ended up organising another funeral. I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t put you both in that position.’

‘That wasn’t your choice to make!’ he spat out. ‘We were together. We were a partnership. I thought we meant something to each other. I loved you, Rachel.’

‘And I loved you. That’s why I left!’

Their faces were inches apart. He was furious at her, and she was equally furious with him. How dare he think she’d just upped and walked away without a second thought? She hadn’t even realised that she’d been angry with him too. Angry that he didn’t come after her. Angry that he didn’t jump on a plane to Australia to find her.

Of course she knew that hadn’t been a possibility. She knew that he’d had Charlie to look after, but it still made her feel as if he hadn’t loved her enough.

Not as much as she loved him.

Wow. The thought muddled around in her brain. She wasn’t thinking about the past. She was thinking about the present. No matter what had happened between them, she still loved Nathan Banks. She’d never stopped. Her legs wobbled a little.

‘I can’t believe you didn’t trust me, Rachel. I can’t believe you didn’t trust me enough to let me be by your side when you were sick.’ The anger had left his voice. Now, it was just disbelief. It was obvious he’d been blindsided by this. He looked as if she’d torn his heart out and left it thrown on the beach.

‘I’ve always trusted you, Nathan,’ she said quietly. She couldn’t look at him right now, with the tears falling down her cheeks. ‘I thought I was doing what was best for both of us. If things had gone the other way we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation. You’ve no idea how many of the people I met at that treatment centre aren’t here any more. I was lucky. I beat the odds. I just couldn’t guarantee that. I didn’t want you to have to bury someone else that you loved.’

He stepped forward, his finger brushing a tear from her cheek. ‘I didn’t need guarantees from you, Rachel. I just needed you.’ His voice cracked and she shook her head.

‘I’m sorry, Nathan. I’m sorry I didn’t stay and help with Charlie. I’m sorry you had to change your speciality. But even if I had stayed, I couldn’t have helped. I was too sick, too weak to have been of any use. There was no way I wanted to be a burden to you. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the strain of working long hours, looking after Charlie and looking after me. No one would.’

‘You can’t say that! You don’t know. You didn’t give us the chance to find out.’ Pure frustration was written all over his face.

She pressed her hand to her heart and closed her eyes. These were selfish words but she had to say them. There was no other way. She had to try and make him understand just a little. ‘But what about me, Nathan? I had to concentrate on getting better. I had to concentrate on getting well. I couldn’t afford to worry about you and Charlie too. I barely had enough energy to open my eyes in the morning let alone think about anyone else. I wouldn’t have been a help. I would have been a hindrance, a drain.’ She shook her head again. ‘You didn’t need that.’

Nathan didn’t hesitate for a second. He stepped forward and gripped her arm. ‘You had no right. No right to make that decision for me. You had no right to make that decision for Charlie. You were our family. You were all we had left.’

His words took the air right out of her. In every scenario she’d imagined over the last few years she’d always believed that what she’d done had been for the best. But the force of his reaction was wiping her out. She’d always felt guilty but she’d never really considered this. He’d been grief-stricken—already feeling abandoned by his family. But hearing his words now made her feel sick.

Yes, her actions had been selfish. But she’d thought she’d done it out of love. Now, she was beginning to wonder if playing the martyr had been the most selfish thing that she could have done.

Her legs wobbled underneath her and she collapsed back down onto the blanket, putting her head in her hands. Everything was going so wrong.

Minutes ago she’d been in Nathan’s arms—the place she truly wanted to be. Minutes ago he’d been kissing her and now, with one sweep of his fingertips and the touch of a scar, there was just a world of recriminations. Exactly what she’d dreaded.

She’d expected Nathan to storm off and not talk to her any more. But he hadn’t.

He stepped forward and took her hands in his. Pain was etched on his face. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had renal cancer. I’m sorry you thought you had to go to the other side of the world alone to be treated. But you should have never done that, Rachel. You should have never walked away—no matter how well-intentioned you thought it was. This was about trust. This was about you and me. You didn’t trust me enough to stay.’ He dropped her hands. ‘I just don’t think I can get past this.’

He stepped back and she felt a wave of panic come over her. ‘I did love you, Nathan. Really, I did.’ Her voice dropped as she realised how painful it must be to hear those words.

He spun back around and glared at her. ‘Really? Well, you replaced me as soon as you got to Australia. With Darius.’ He almost spat the words at her.

It was pure frustration and she knew it. ‘You decided you trusted him enough to help you through your surgery and treatment. Someone you barely even knew. So don’t give me that, Rachel. Don’t lie to me. I’ve had just about as much as I can take.’

He turned on his heel and strode across the beach, never once looking back.

She crumpled to the ground and started to sob. The night was ruined. Everything about this was wrong. She’d always been sure about her decision—so sure that she’d done the right thing. Now, her brain was spinning. Her thoughts were jumbled. For the first time in her life she wondered if she might have been wrong.

It was pathetic. She was pathetic. But all she’d wanted to do was kiss him. So she had. No rational thought behind it. She’d acted purely on selfish instinct.

It was just too hard. It was too hard to be this close to him again and not touch him. In the past when she’d been with Nathan she’d spent most of her time in his arms. He’d completed her. He’d given her confidence when she’d doubted her abilities and strength when she’d struggled with the long hours of being a junior doctor.

She’d loved being with him. She’d loved being part of his family. Her own mother and father had split years before, her father staying in England and her mother settling in Australia. And although they loved her and she loved them, it had been a disjointed kind of upbringing.

When Nathan and Charlie’s parents had died it had broken her. She’d wanted to be strong for them both. And she’d managed it right up until she’d found out about her diagnosis.

It had been the final straw.

And all of this was flooding back. For too long she’d kept it in a box—far out of reach, somewhere it couldn’t affect her emotions. She couldn’t concentrate on what her leaving had done to Nathan and Charlie. She’d been so focused on getting well and getting through her treatment that she hadn’t allowed herself space to think about any of this. When her treatment was over, she’d focused on her career, trying to get things back on track after taking a year out.

But she’d never got over the guilt attached to leaving Nathan. She’d never got over the fact she didn’t have the guts to say goodbye to Charlie; one tear from him would have been the end of her and she would never have made it onto that plane.

She was lucky. She’d had a good outcome and for that she was so grateful. But it hadn’t been guaranteed. The prospect of deteriorating and forcing Nathan and Charlie to be by her side had been unthinkable.

And, even though she had a barrel-load of regrets, if she had her time over she would still get on that plane. She would still walk away to face the cancer on her own.

Except she hadn’t really been on her own. She’d had her mum in Australia and then, even though it wasn’t what people thought, she’d had Darius too.

It could barely be called a romance. There might have been a few kisses exchanged but it had been entirely different from the relationship she’d had with Nathan. There had never been the passion, the deep underlying attraction. It had almost been like a mutual support society. At times he had been a shoulder to cry on. And during her surgery and renal cancer treatment that was exactly what she’d needed.

Nathan hated her. It didn’t matter that he’d kissed her back. Every time he looked at her she could see it in his eyes. If only she could have just five minutes when he looked at her like he’d used to. Just five minutes.

But the world was full of people with ‘if only’s. It was too late to be one of those. She wasn’t here to re-examine her faulty love life. She’d never managed to sustain a decent relationship since the break-up with Nathan. At first she’d had no time or energy for it. No one quite seemed to live up to the man she’d left behind.

But this Nathan was different. He wasn’t the same person she’d loved. She could see the changes behind his eyes. In the weathered lines on his face—textured in the eight years she hadn’t known him. Who had he loved in that time?

What had she just done? If she’d thought this island was claustrophobic before, she’d just made the situation ten times worse.

She’d been so careful. After her initial exchange of words with Nathan she’d tried to be so cool about things. She understood his resentment. Nathan must hate her.

But it couldn’t stop all the feelings he was reviving in her—all the memories. She’d dealt with her renal cancer the best way she felt she could. But it didn’t stop her regretting her actions every time she looked at him.

Part of her was resentful too. How would life have turned out if the renal cancer hadn’t happened? Would they have come to Australia together and settled here? Would they both have stuck at their chosen specialities? She already knew that Nathan had changed his plans—would that have happened if they’d still been together?

Something coiled inside her. Her life could have been so different.

His life could have been so different.

Their lives could have been so different.

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