When she heard of Darius’s participation in the wedding, Alexa’s immediate reaction was to change her plans.

But she knew she couldn’t do that. Especially since she had promised Maya that she would be there for her. Although nine years had passed, she was surprised that hearing Darius’s name still caused her heart to race. Their relationship was so close that sometimes all they had to do was look at each other and seemingly each would feel what the other was thinking. It was amazing to Alexa how they were so in tune with one another. Although they weren’t together for very long, Alexa had always felt like their paths were destined to cross sooner or later. She always had a sixth sense about Darius.

Most important, even more important than the physical attraction, was the friendship that she and Darius had shared. After all these years, Alexa wondered once again if she’d made a mistake by walking away.

LISA HARRISON JACKSON

fell in love with writing in elementary school. In the fourth grade, she recognized her passion for storytelling while working on a creative-writing assignment. She has been writing ever since. She has had several articles published in magazines and newspapers, and Finally, You and Me is her first published novel. In addition to writing, Lisa enjoys reading, writing poetry and film study. She resides in Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband and two daughters. She is currently penning her second novel.

Finally, You And Me
Lisa Harrison Jackson

www.millsandboon.co.uk

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Dear Reader,

I believe that there is a little Alexa and Darius in all of us: the desire to be loved, honored and cherished by the one you love, to have a fulfilling career or clear purpose in life and most important, a desire for a personal relationship with our Creator. My goal in writing this book was to create realistic characters, facing real issues and making real decisions. My hope was to touch my readers’ hearts and motivate them to examine their lives, as well as to encourage them to be strong enough to step out in faith if a situation calls for it, knowing that God is in control and He will never fail them.

Best,

Lisa Harrison Jackson

Acknowledgments

First and foremost, I would like to give honor to The Almighty God for blessing me with a passion for the written word. I love touching people’s lives through my works. I believe it to be a sincere privilege to be a vessel in His plan.

I’d like to thank two important people in my life, my parents, L.G. and Shirley Harrison for allowing me to express my creativity in various art forms. Your encouragement was appreciated while your foundation gave me the determination to press toward my dream.

To my husband, Nate, and daughters, Chandler and McKinley. Your support and understanding were endless, especially when I had to spend a lot of nights on the computer writing and rewriting. I love you all very much!

I’d like to also acknowledge the following people who helped to make this book come to life: Kim Whiteside, who without your persistence and encouragement, this book never would have been; Tia Harrison, thank you for the long-distance creative sessions, beautiful cover design and helpful marketing tips; Professor Ojay Johnson, thank you for taking the time to edit my book while in the middle of completing your dissertation. Joyce Parker, thank your for your friendship and for encouraging me to get out of the cage to pursue my dreams. Last but not least I want to say thank you to everybody in Omaha, Nebraska, who read the first print of this book and gave me such helpful feedback, comments and encouragement—God Bless!

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Epilogue

Chapter 1

The tears clouding Alexa’s eyes made it difficult to see the winding road ahead. Headlights from the approaching cars began to resemble starbursts in the distance, causing her to periodically slam on the brakes out of uncertainty of their precise distance. The day easing into the night only further impaired her vision.

With one hand on the wheel, Alexa pulled the car to the side of the road, and the other to wipe the tears from her eyes. Lord, she wished she could stop crying, but she could not. Earlier that day a coworker had come into the office, flashing an engagement ring. The happy announcement stirred up past memories, which had lain dormant over the years, and had haunted Alexa like a recurring nightmare. The pain was so real, like it was just yesterday.

What upset Alexa most was the fact that she had almost made it to the altar, not once but twice. Both proposals occurred at times in her life when her views and aspirations opposed that of her intended. The more profound relationship of the two came while she was in college. That one left a stain so deep that she could identify with the statement, “first loves always hurt the most.”

Alexa loved Darius, but felt she was too young to commit to someone for the rest of her life. She was barely out on her own and hadn’t accomplished anything that resembled success in life.

Her second failed attempt at matrimony departed on the heels of Sean Hardaway. Alexa met Sean at a Black Business Leaders Networking Social. Not only was he educated, handsome and successful, he was also cultured, sitting on the board of the local Museum and Cultural Arts Council. The two spent the whole evening huddled in a quiet corner flirting while comparing personal stories of their experiences in corporate America.

It didn’t come as a surprise when the successful singles united as a power couple. At the end of their second year together, they decided to take their relationship to the next level. Getting married seemed like the natural step to take since they were already cohabitating in Sean’s town house. Both were settled in their careers, making handsome salaries. Since they were approaching their thirties, they thought it was a good time to get married, considering that they wanted a family.

Alexa was proud at how they mapped things out: career, marriage and family in that order and actually got a rush from the envious looks that she got from other women who listened with envy to her self-centered rattling. They may not have verbalized their feelings, but she could see the wanting in their eyes whenever she talked about her fiancé and their elaborate wedding plans.

Alexa’s world came to a screeching halt two days before the wedding. She was enjoying a day of pampering at her favorite spa salon when she received a call on her cell phone from Sean. It was apparent by his slurred speech that he was intoxicated. A creepy feeling came over her. Her fears became real when he confessed that he couldn’t go through with the wedding. He stated that he didn’t want to ruin either of their lives by getting married.

Alexa was sure it was simply a case of prewedding jitters and after hanging up from him, she quickly called his best friend Glenn, who was also the best man, to talk some sense into him. Glenn located Sean at a gentlemen’s lounge, nursing a bottle of Hennessey, gazing up at the topless dancer gyrating before his face. According to Glenn, Sean told him that while he loved Alexa, he was not “in love” with her and because of that, he didn’t want to ruin things by going into a marriage doomed from the start.

Alexa dropped the phone when Glenn repeated Sean’s exact words later that evening. Not only was she devastated, but humiliated as well. The worst part was that she didn’t even get a chance to talk to him herself because hours following his confession, he left town “to get his priorities in check” as he put it, leaving her with the responsibility of explaining to family and friends that the wedding was off.

Her wedding day was spent in bed, crying while a variety of emotions surged through her like volts of electricity, changing as rapidly as the wind. She was affected physically as well, dropping more than twenty pounds in a two-week time frame. She also ended up cutting her hair short because the stress caused much damage to her otherwise healthy mane. Although she appeared to be strong on the outside, she was hurting inside. Eventually, she sought counseling because a sheath of depression had draped over her and wouldn’t diminish after a few months.

Her reminiscing was interrupted by a light knock on the window. She turned to look into the smiling face of a well-dressed older gentleman. “Are you okay?” he shouted against the howl of the wintry winds whipping around him as he tried to keep his leather cap on and his heavy leather trench coat closed.

Alexa rolled down the window. “Yes, thank you. I—I was…” She searched her mind for a lie to tell when she spied her cell phone resting on the seat beside her. She reached for it and held it up. “I was just making a call.”

He gave her the thumbs-up signal. “It’s good to see you young folks taking precautions.”

She exhaled when he walked away and waited until he pulled off before edging her own car back onto the road and heading home.

After her split with Sean, Alexa found a place to live. When one door closes, God opens another. A colleague was moving out of state and needed to sell her house immediately. Because of their relationship, she accepted Alexa’s offer. The purchase was quick and two weeks after completing the necessary paperwork, Alexa moved into her new home. Although she didn’t have much to start with, she managed to slowly fill each room with her personal style.

Her house, a three-bedroom brick traditional, was located on a quiet suburban block in Aurora. Since living there, she could count on one hand the number of times she had seen, let alone talked to her neighbors within a month’s time. However, she didn’t mind that because she liked to keep to herself anyway.

After gathering the mail from the box, she went inside. The small stack looked more promising than it actually was. There was nothing to get excited about—bills, a couple pieces of “dear resident” mail, and the weekly supermarket circular. The room immediately warmed up when Alexa flipped the switch just inside the kitchen door thanks to the rich gold and amber art glass Tiffany fixture hanging above. With a sigh, she placed the envelopes on the kitchen table, and headed for the answering machine on the breakfast bar to check for messages.

The flashing light on the machine indicated that there were four messages waiting. She pressed the button to rewind the messages before easing out of her pumps. While the first message began to play, she sauntered over to the stainless steel refrigerator to retrieve a large bottle of grapefruit juice. A part of her new commitment to good health included drinking at least two glasses of juice every day. She had read somewhere that grapefruit was a great antioxidant and aided in burning fat. When she first started her regime, her face screwed up from the bitter taste. However, over a short period of time she had acquired a taste for it.

Easing into a chair at the dinette table, she sighed with relief at the opportunity to rest her feet. The first message was from her hair salon calling to remind her of an upcoming appointment. The second was from her mother who wanted to know why she hadn’t called in a while. The third message was a hang-up, while the last caller was her best friend Maya. At the sound of her friend’s professional announcer voice, enunciating each word with such precision, Alexa scurried over to the machine. She caught the tail end portion of the message, “…wonderful news. Return my call as soon as possible.”

Alexa wondered what the urgency was about. Ideas began to fly in her head. She knew Maya couldn’t be pregnant again. As far as she knew, after their third daughter was born, Maya and her husband Bryant had accepted the fact that they would not be trying a fourth time for a son. Glancing at her watch, she picked up the telephone, hoping to catch Maya before she left the television station for the day.

The telephone rang twice before Maya answered in her usual professional tone. “Channel 12, this is Maya Renault.”

Sometimes it still surprised Alexa that her best friend was a high-profile news anchor for Channel 12 in Detroit. Because of her television status, Maya was regarded as a local celebrity and treated as such. People of various ages and ethnic backgrounds recognized her, as she graced their television set each morning and was known to be active in worthy causes in the community. Whenever she hung out with Maya during her visits to Detroit, Alexa was amazed by the red-carpet treatment her friend frequently received.

“What’s up, Mrs. R?” Alexa greeted, happy to hear her friend’s voice.

“Alexa?”

“No, Hillary Rodham Clinton,” Alexa sarcastically replied.

“Hey, Hill, how are things going with Billy boy these days?” Maya teased, once she recognized Alexa’s voice.

“Apparently not as good as things are going on there. I got your message. What’s up?” she asked, stretching her legs out on the adjacent chair.

“I’m getting married!” Maya blurted.

“But Maya, you’re already married,” Alexa reminded her.

“No, Bryant and I have decided to renew our vows on New Year’s Eve. After nine years of marriage we are finally going to have a real wedding,” she sighed dreamily.

Alexa refused to let Maya’s news rekindle her own insecurities that had risen earlier that day. It seemed like everyone was being claimed by someone. Even Maya’s husband was asking for her hand—again!

“That’s great, Maya!”

“I knew you’d be happy,” Maya exclaimed. “So when can you come?”

“Maya, I know you don’t think I can come? New Year’s Eve is just four days away.”

“And?” her friend replied matter-of-factly.

“You know how busy I am. Don’t you think I need more notice?”

“Maybe any person would need notice, but you are my best friend. I know regardless of how much notice I give you, you’ll be there. Bryant and I are counting on you. Plus, I want you to stand for me.”

Tears swelled in Alexa’s eyes. Maya and Bryant were two very special people whose lives she shared in years back. The three of them had been through a lot, giving each other mental, and when possible, financial support. In addition to hanging out and partying together, they at one time shared the same town house. Now the two of them wanted to reaffirm their love before God, friends and family and wanted her to stand again in their circle of love. She was touched by the request for her presence.

A tear slid down her cheek and before Alexa knew it, she was crying for a second time that day. “You know I would be honored,” she replied with a sniffle.

“Are you crying, Alexa Kirkwood?” Maya asked softly.

“I’m so happy for you both,” she admitted as she reached for a tissue. She blew her nose. At least somebody is happy.

A slight sense of panic hit Alexa as she realized her role in the wedding. As the maid of honor and best friend to the bride, she had to be there for Maya in a big way and she wasn’t about to let her friends down.

Immediately she began to run down her list of things to do in preparation for her trip. “I’m going to have to call my travel agent to see if I can get a cheap flight and I’ll probably have to beg De Angela to see if she can squeeze me in for an earlier hair appointment, probably get my nails done, too.”

“Alexa, Alexa, just get here. We’ll deal with those things later,” Maya assured her.

Alexa wiped away the warm tears settling on the rim of her eyes and exhaled softly. Here I go again.

There was something magical about taking early-morning flights that captured Alexa’s attention. The way the sun made an entrance against the dawn, transforming the skies from a purplish pink to a yellowish orange was like magic. Then to be so high above the floor of clouds, witnessing the rays stretching out across the endless heavens was like a warm invitation calming her sometimes restless spirit.

She needed to feel a sense of calmness as she was a ball of anxiety, trembling like a frightened cat. From the moment she received Maya’s call, the butterflies had not stopped fluttering around in her stomach. She couldn’t eat anything because the thought made her nauseous. The anticipation of confronting her past made her light-headed. A past filled with unresolved issues; one that involved Darius Riverside.

Upon hearing of Darius’s participation in the wedding, Alexa’s immediate reaction was to change her plans, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Especially since she promised Maya that she would be there for her. Although nine years had passed, she was surprised that hearing Darius’s name still caused her heart to race. Their relationship had been so close that sometimes all they had to do was look at each other and seemingly feel what the other was thinking. It was amazing to Alexa how they were so in tune with one another. Although they weren’t together for very long, Alexa had always felt as though their paths were destined to cross sooner or later. She always had a sixth sense about him.

Most important than the physical attraction was their friendship. Because of this, Alexa often wondered if she made a mistake by walking away.

Over the years, she often wondered what became of Darius. She never dared ask Maya because she knew her friend too well. Her nose for news would start sniffing around for hidden agendas or repressed feelings. Besides, she did not want Maya to start preaching to her about having let a good man go. Darius definitely possessed the qualities that would earn him that title, and Alexa accepted the consequences for not appreciating him early on.

She was sure Darius loathed her to the point that any thought of reconciliation, let alone a friendship, was out of the question. With that in mind, her sole purpose of attending the wedding was to support her friends, not run around fretting over an encounter with Darius. When it was all over, she would leave the following day and not look back.

The Detroit airport was more crowded than Alexa had anticipated, making her wish she had worn something other than the casual sweat suit. She guessed that the crowd of travelers was probably returning from spending Christmas with family and returning just in time to kick off the New Year in the Motor City. It didn’t take her long to spot Maya standing to the side, trying to keep a low profile in a brimmed hat, leather walking coat and a pair of jeans, chatting away on her cell phone.

With a mischievous grin, Alexa scurried out of Maya’s view, hiding behind a pole. She peeked at her friend, like a lioness stalking her prey, while at the same time trying not to draw too much attention.

Maya was so deep in her conversation that she did not notice Alexa slip past.

Alexa smiled and then, quick as a wink, zipped back in for the kill, pouncing on her unsuspecting friend with a big hug. Maya immediately let out a frightened shriek and pulled away, causing all eyes to fall on the two women.

“Alexa!” she shouted, relieved to see it was her friend and not some crazed fiend. She pulled Alexa to her for a hug.

Soon the two were crying and hugging like long-lost sisters. Passersby watched the two with curious expressions. A few could be heard wondering if that was indeed Maya Renault in disguise.

Minutes later, the two eased back from their embrace, smiling at one another.

“You re looking good, girl!” Maya affirmed as she walked around Alexa looking her up and down.

“Girl, you’re the one,” Alexa responded, smoothing down her hair.

Maya reached up and fluffed Alexa’s shoulder-length mane. “You really let it grow out, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I got tired of using those irons every day,” she sighed. “I was glad when those layers finally grew out. With it being this length, I can pull it back into a ponytail when I get lazy.”

Despite her attempts at looking casual, Maya looked like she was ready to step out on some runway in her casual attire.

“Always looking good, Mrs. R,” Alexa commented.

Maya groaned. “I just hope that not too many folks recognize me looking like some vagabond out here.”

“Yeah, right,” Alexa scoffed as she draped her arm over Maya’s shoulders. “You hardly look like some vagabond and ya dang sure ain’t getting paid like one.”

Maya laughed. “Don’t be deceived, girlfriend. I have bills like everyone else. Plus, I have three children.”

“Speaking of which, where are my sweeties?” Alexa interrupted, looking around as they headed towards the baggage claim area. She had been fortunate to be named godmother to all three of Bryant and Maya’s daughters and wouldn’t trade the honor for the world. The girls were the closest thing she had to motherhood which satisfied that maternal instinct that popped up at least twice a year.

“Home, with Bryant,” Maya replied. “But they are all excited to see their Auntie Alexa.”

Alexa smiled as she pictured the three girls: six-year-old Monaye, the inquisitive one was very bright for her age and acted very much like the big sister she was to her two younger siblings: four-year-old Brielle and two-year old Sasha. Brielle was mild-mannered and nurturing with a very sweet disposition, while Sasha was independent, outgoing, a free spirit who loved to explore. All three were little darlings whom Alexa cherished as if they were her own.

Upon retrieving Alexa’s luggage, the women walked the short distance outside to Maya’s Cadillac Escalade and before long they were headed to the Renaults’ home in Southfield. It was Alexa’s first time seeing Maya’s new home and her jaw dropped in awe at the sight of the gigantic, three-story brick structure standing grand on the large lot surrounded by tall, stately pine trees out back. Tall, oak doors guarded the entryway and were nestled between two tall columns that reached up to the second floor. A large window above the door frame revealed a decorative chandelier as well as the banister of the winding staircase. Attached to the house was a three-car garage.

“It’s beautiful!” Alexa gasped as they pulled up the long circular drive. She was both impressed and proud of her friends’ success.

Maya smiled as she reached up to press the button on the garage door opener hanging from the visor. “Girl, God has been good to us.”

“Amen,” Alexa agreed as Maya eased the truck in beside a late-model, midnight-blue Jaguar. On the other side of the Jag was some type of small, sporty vehicle beneath a tarp. She guessed it was probably something that belonged to Bryant.

Bryant and the girls must have heard them arrive because before they could get out of the truck the foursome shot out of the connecting door to the house.

“Auntie!” the little girls shrieked happily. In a few seconds, Alexa was covered in tiny little arms. She gave each of them a kiss on the head and a hug before reaching up to give Bryant a tight squeeze.

“What’s up, big brother?”

“You,” he replied, giving her a tight hug.

Before she could reply, the ruckus from the girls swarming around them stole her attention and she gave Bryant an apologetic look.

“It’s okay,” he assured her, knowing how excited the girls were to see her. “We can talk later.”

Alexa smiled and refocused her attention on the girls. “My goodness, you girls have grown so,” she said, her loving gaze gracing each one of them. The last time she saw them, Sasha was only 10 months old and barely walking. “Guess what? I have presents for all of you.”

“But Auntie, we already got a present from you,” Monaye announced, hanging on to Alexa’s coat sleeve. The small party moved from the chilly garage into the cozy family room where yellow and orange flames danced in the fireplace.

“Those were Christmas presents, sweetie,” Alexa explained, with a loving smile. “I have something else for you.”

“Now you know they don’t need anything more,” Maya protested. All Alexa had to do was go up to their playroom and see what Maya was talking about. They had toys to last them a lifetime.

Alexa ignored Maya’s comment by assuring the girls that they would get their presents after dinner.

As promised, following dinner, Alexa distributed the one-of-a-kind, handmade rag dolls created in each of their likenesses. The girls loved them. Later after they were bathed and ready for bed, they also enjoyed Alexa’s animated bedtime story about three African princesses going to a royal ball.

When she had kissed them all good-night, she joined her friends in the family room where Bryant had just poured three glasses of Zinfandel. Maya carried in a tray of sliced cheese, crackers and fresh fruit and placed it on the table before them.

“You looking good, Alex,” Bryant complimented as he stabbed a toothpick into a cheese cube.

“I told her so, but you know how she is,” Maya added with a smile.

“Me? You both look great and I am definitely feeling the crib,” Alexa replied, kicking out of her sneakers. She took a seat on one of the plushy sofas, curling her feet beneath her.

The family room was cozy yet embodied a lived-in quality. A marbled hearth was the focal point where a pair of white slipper chairs accompanied two charcoal-hued love seats in a U shape. The white walls contained interesting pieces like mirrored candle sconces and black and white prints in boxed frames, giving the room a cozy yet elegant quality. Alexa marveled at the black baby grand that dwelled in the alcove of a floor-to-ceiling window.

Maya sank down beside Bryant on the opposite facing sofa and reached for a handful of grapes. “Yeah, girlfriend, it’s been a long time.”

Alexa took a sip of wine. “I know.”

“So how is Denver?”

“Same.”

“And your job?”

“Actually, it’s going quite well. I got a raise,” she proudly announced, holding up her glass for a toast. In her nine years at Marks-St. Claire, Alexa had been promoted three times. The most recent promotion was an upgrade to a corner office along with a staff in addition to a salary increase and heftier bonuses. “You are now looking at the managing editor of Mountain High magazine.”

“You go, girl!” Maya congratulated, touching her glass to Alexa’s.

“Hear! Hear!” Bryant joyfully added.

“Another toast is in order,” Maya continued. “Bryant is going into business for himself.”

“Congratulations!” Alexa said with surprise. She knew that Bryant worked in computers, but had no idea he was interested in venturing out into a business of his own.

“I can’t take all of the credit. D is taking the plunge with me. Since we are both handling some really good contracts, we figure we could merge forces, eliminate the middleman and bring in the bucks directly.”

He continued to discuss the plan, but his words fell on deaf ears. Alexa knew she heard him right when he said D. That was the nickname everyone called Darius except her. Her nickname for him had always been Darry. So, he was thinking about going into business with Darius.

Rather than comment about Darius, she continued conversing as if she hadn’t heard him drop Darius’s name at all. After getting up to speed on their lives, Alexa yawned, succumbing to jet lag and announced that she was ready to hit the sack. Maya showed her to the spacious bonus room located over the three-car garage that was accessible off of the kitchen.

Mirroring the rest of the grand home, the room was decorated with impeccable taste. The four-poster rice bed was elegantly decorated in sophisticated, camel-colored faux suede bedding. Paprika, butter- and coffee-colored pillows of the same material were neatly stacked against the headboard. Beyond a pair of shutter doors was the bathroom with separate garden tub and shower, which was also decorated in the same colors as the bedroom.

“Maya, this is gorgeous!” she said, eyeing the tub longingly. She looked forward to languishing in it amid lavender-scented bath salts.

“Actually I had you in mind when I decorated it.” Maya said as she stretched out on the bed. “I’m so glad you could come. I just wish it was you getting married.”

The look of disdain on Alexa’s face did not equal Maya’s glowing expression. “Keep wishing,” she smugly retorted as she leaned up against the dresser.

“Come on, Alexa, I know you want to get married and have some bay bays?” Maya chided.

Alexa raised her hands in surrender and walked away from her friend. “Maya, I’ve come to realize that what I want isn’t necessarily what I am going to get. If the Lord sees fit for me to have a family, He will bless me in His time. I’m not going to force things anymore.”

“Do think you were forcing things with Sean?” Maya asked, sitting up on the edge of the bed.

Alexa paused before answering. “Back then I probably wouldn’t admit it, but today—yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I thought I was ready for marriage and a family. You don’t understand the pressure that women my age have to endure. You and Bryant have been together since you were nineteen. If a woman is over twenty-five, and not married, or at least dating someone, people look at her as if something is wrong. Sean was a nice guy and I loved him as a person, but he really wasn’t somebody I could see myself spending the rest of my life with.”

“And you were willing to marry him knowing that’s how you felt?”

“Yes,” she admitted, taking a seat beside Maya on the bed. “I guess I was hoping that my feelings would change, but now my outlook is different. When I look at you and Bryant, I see something that I want in a relationship. You two are soul mates. You got each other’s back and the love and respect that you have for one another is apparent. Sean and I could barely live together without arguing.”

“Do you hate him for what he did?”

Alexa hesitated before responding, pondering the question for a few moments. She was more humiliated than anything. “I did at first, but I got over it when I realized that us breaking up helped me to understand what I really want in a man.”

“Which is?”

“I want a man who is not afraid of my success, who is my friend, who has my back, understands my dreams and encourages me to pursue them. I need somebody who can love me for me.”

“Sounds like a pretty special man,” Maya wistfully replied.

Alexa nodded. “I know. I also know that you don’t come across these types everyday, and this time I won’t settle for anything less.”

“Well then I pray that you find who you are looking for.”

A hint of sadness laced Alexa’s giggle. “No, I hope he finds me.”

Without comment, Maya leaned over and gave Alexa a tight hug. “I’m glad you came.”

“I’m glad I did,, too,” Alexa replied, pulling back. “Now go to sleep, blushing bride. We have lots to do in the morning.”

Chapter 2

The minute Maya and Bryant agreed to renew their vows, one of the first people Maya called was her friend Margaret Cade. Margaret owned an exclusive boutique, where she sold her original creations. Her styles were so popular that her list of clients consisted of several high-profile community figures and celebrities.

Alexa’s eyes widened when Maya stepped from the dressing room in a champagne-hued, strapless silk gown with elbow-length satin gloves. The skirt was long and fitted with a twisted knot in the back that gave it a bustlelike appearance.

“Well, what do you think?” Maya asked, noticing Alexa’s awed expression in the three-way mirror.

“It looks great on you,” the salesclerk commented.

Alexa nodded in agreement, “Maya, that dress is tight.”

“It is!?” Maya cried out in horror. “It’s a size six. I hoped that I wouldn’t gain any weight.”

Alexa and the young salesclerk looked at each other and burst out laughing at Maya’s misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized through her laughter. “You have got to forgive my sister. She’s been out of the loop so long she kind of lost touch.” She didn’t want to explain that tight was slang for nice.

Maya still wore a look of confusion until Alexa assured her the dress was just fine. The ensemble was complete with an elegant rhinestone tiara and a pair of matching silk mules with a clear heel.

The bridesmaids’ attire turned out to be silk midnight-blue camisoles with matching floor-length, A-line skirts. Alexa thought they were beautiful and was grateful that her friend didn’t pick anything extravagant for her bridal party.

“You are going to knock Bryant off his feet!” Alexa announced as they exited the boutique.

“I am so nervous. Can you believe that after nine years of marriage, I have the nerve to be nervous?” Maya said as she laid both dresses across the back seat of the truck. She smoothed out the plastic so there were no folds to prevent wrinkling.

“Yes, I can,” Alexa replied, turning forward in her seat. However, her comment was for a different reason. The possibility of Alexa coming face-to-face with Darius for the first time after nine years made her nervous as ever.

“Could your anxiety be Darius-related?” Maya asked, eyeing her out of the corner of her eye as if she had been reading her mind.

Alexa’s silence answered the question.

“Alexa, I was wondering when you were going to get around to Darius being the best man at the wedding. I hope you are okay with it, considering.”

“You guys want him in the wedding, too. What can I say? It’s your wedding,” she replied, hoping that her tone and posture gave off an air of indifference.

“Now, now,” Maya soothingly replied. “I know that there’s animosity on both your parts, but maybe you two need to get it over with by facing your fears and talking it out.”

“What is there to talk about, Maya? Darius told me all that I needed to know years ago.”

Alexa had set aside her pride and reached out to him. Just thinking about that dreaded phone call made her wince. His words stung just as sharply today as they had then.

They had been apart for almost a year. She was settled in her job at Marks-St. Claire and was living in an apartment of her own.

It was a Saturday evening and Alexa was stretched out on her sofa sipping a wine cooler while flipping through the channels on the television.

Who would have guessed that she would be home on a Saturday evening? She loved to party, but since coming to Denver, she didn’t know where to go let alone who to go with. Although she had met some good people in Denver, no one could replace her friends back home.

As a result, she opted for a date with the television. Before settling in, she poured herself a glass of the fruity mixture.

She began flipping through the channels, not finding one thing that caught her attention for more than a few minutes. Suddenly, her eyes came to rest on the telephone. She wished she had someone to call. She entertained the idea of calling Maya, but she had just talked to her the night before. When they talked, Maya had asked if there was something wrong. Although she denied it, she knew that if she called Maya at that moment, she would surely suspect something. Besides, she and Bryant were out celebrating Maya’s new job as a beat reporter for the local television station. And if she knew her friends as well as she thought, celebrating would mean a highly charged romp in the sack.

With a sigh she picked up the telephone to call her mother, but then thought again and quickly slammed the phone down before her mother answered. Her mother had been acting quite strange. Alexa thought it was pre-menopause. Whatever it was, she couldn’t deal with her right then. Her brother Justin called one day talking about her going on this crocheting rampage having draped the beds, chairs, tabletops and toilets in every color imaginable.

Finally, her thoughts came to rest on Darius. She wondered if he had the same number. There had been many times when she wanted to call him and apologize, especially during those times when she felt lonely. When it seemed like the world was against her and all she wanted to do was press her face against his sturdy chest and cry. But there was no Darius at home waiting with open arms to lick her wounds. Besides, the shame of leaving him the way she did still hung over her head like a storm cloud.

Now after a year, she felt she could talk to him. Denver was okay. She had been right about Marks-St. Claire. Already she was promoted to editor’s position. She wanted to let him know that her decision was a good one and that leaving, though not in the manner in which she did, was the right thing to do and maybe, just maybe he would understand and forgive her.

So, she slowly dialed his number. The phone rang several times before the answering machine picked up.

“You’ve reached Darius.” His speech was strong and mature. She smiled at the sound of hearing his voice again. “I’m sorry, I can’t take your call—”

The greeting cut off with a screech, and suddenly a male voice cut through the message. “Hello!” Alexa’s heart began to thud rapidly. “Hold on while I turn off the machine.”

She was a bundle of nerves as her frozen hands trembled while trying to grasp onto the phone.

“Hello!” he repeated. He sounded somewhat cheerful, not somber, for which she was glad.

Alexa took a deep breath and lightly whispered, “Hey, stranger.”

“Who is this?” Darius asked slowly, his voice laced with suspicion.

“It’s me, Darius, Alexa.”

Silence hung between them like an iron curtain.

“What do you want?” he finally huffed after several minutes.

“Hey, is that any way to greet an old friend?” she teased, going for the lighthearted approach. Her heart was beating so rapidly, she wondered if he could hear it as well as the quick nervous breaths she tried to contain.

“Friend?” he threw back harshly. “I’d hardly call you a friend.”

“Darius,” she sighed. “I know how you must feel—”

“You don’t know a damn thing about how I feel!” he cut in. “Why are you calling me anyway?”

“I just wanted to tell you how I’m doing.”

Her heart sank when he began to laugh sarcastically. “Do you honestly think I care?”

“I hoped that we could talk.”

“Talk about what?”

Darius’s responses were so full of bile that it made her want to hang up in his face. She expected some kind of lashing, but thought he would at least be civil given the feelings they had once shared.

“About us,” she stammered. “About what happened to us?”

Her answer caused Darius to rear back in laughter. She couldn’t make anything of it because she wasn’t used to him behaving in such a way. She sat there in silence through his amusement, hoping that it meant she was getting somewhere with him. When he finally caught his breath, his response turned ice-cold.

“Alexa, I don’t care about what happened anymore. In fact, as far as I’m concerned nothing did. And for the record there is no us, never has been and never will be. So, if you are sitting alone in your house flipping through your little black book in search of an old flame to torture, just bypass the R’s. You did it once before and that we both know you are really good at!”

The next thing she heard was ringing in her ear from the slamming of the receiver.

“He was so mean, so ugly,” Alexa stated after recalling the story to Maya. She hadn’t shared their conversation before now.

“Have you ever thought that his words could have been said out of anger?”

Alexa shrugged. “Whatever the case, it’s been said and was buried years ago. I don’t want to revisit that chapter in my life and I prefer if you didn’t either. Although I may have some misgivings about being here, I will be civil for you and Bryant’s sake.”

“Alexa,” Maya began, but Alexa cut her off with a firm shake of her head. Finally, Maya gave up and the two rode home in silence.

As they approached the house, Maya gasped, but Alexa pretended to hear nothing. She was firm on her stance of not wanting to discuss the issue any further.

Had she known anything about the owner of the black Chevy Suburban parked in the driveway she would have prepared herself, but it didn’t provide her with any clue. The secretive smirk Maya flashed should have hinted at what was to come, but it too had passed without comment.

Still silent, the two women went inside the house.

“Honey, I’m home!” Maya called from the kitchen.

“We’re in here, May!” Bryant shouted back from the family room. Maya led the way and Alexa humbly followed. As soon as she entered the room, her eyes widened. Sitting there surrounded by the girls was Darius.

Alexa felt as if her feet were glued to the hardwood floor. Darius gazed up at her looking every bit as handsome as he did back then and more. Neither of the two said anything, as if they both were tongue-tied. Little Sasha, who sat on Darius’s lap, pulled his bearded face to hers, nuzzling her face against it. The innocent gesture brought back to Alexa’s mind memories of herself in the same position.

It was Monaye who broke the awkwardness of the situation when she ran up to Alexa and hugged her waist.

“Auntie,” she exclaimed with a bright smile, pulling Alexa’s arm. “Say hi to my Uncle Darry.”

Alexa allowed the little girl in all of her innocence to make the first move for her. “Hello, Darius.”

“Alexa,” he returned. The cold tone in his voice mirrored the equally cold look in his eyes, causing Alexa to turn away with a shudder.

Bryant and Maya exchanged glances.

“So when did you get in, Mr. Darius?” Maya asked, breaking the tension. Alexa stood by and watched as Maya pranced over to the man who stood to give Maya a hug.

“Just this afternoon,” he replied over her shoulder, his eyes never leaving Alexa’s face. She averted her eyes to the floor. However, her attention was restored by Maya’s next question.

“Are you going to stay with us?” Maya asked.

Alexa’s breath caught at Maya’s invitation. It was a suggestion followed by awkward silence. She couldn’t bear to stand before him now; how could she withstand four days in the same house?

Her eyes flashed in Darius’s direction. He sarcastically laughed in reply. “No thanks. I don’t think there’s room enough for all of us.”

Alexa caught on to the double meaning that was intended and rolled her eyes.

“Nonsense,” Maya retorted. “We have plenty of room.”

“I think it’s for the best that I say at the hotel,” Darius continued.

Maya was about to challenge his response when Bryant intervened by slipping his arm around his wife’s waist. “If that is what you want, D, we understand.”

“But…” Maya started in.

“May, if he says he can’t stay, we shouldn’t press the issue,” he quickly interjected in an obviously firm tone.

A wave of warmth permeated Alexa’s collar. She knew Darius’s reasons for not wanting to stay at the house were because of her being there. As far as she was concerned, she was not about to let him take a potshot at her.

“Yeah, Maya, let the man go,” she piped up. “It’s apparent that he doesn’t feel comfortable with me around and frankly I don’t care to be in his company either.” With that comment, she did an about-face, picked up her shopping bags and marched upstairs to her room.

Once behind the confines of her door, she let out an irritated growl. Seeing Darius had taken her by surprise. A rush of complicated feelings that even she didn’t understand had surfaced.

Alexa knew that it was inevitable that their paths would cross, but she didn’t think it would be so soon nor did she feel it would be hostile. They didn’t even say more than two words, when Darius came up with that lame excuse as if she were not even in the room.

She broke her pace to halt before the mirror above the dresser. “If there is one thing he will see it is that I am no longer an insecure twenty-two-year-old,” she promised in a huff. She gripped the edge of the dresser with both hands to calm her rapid breathing. Although his comments infuriated her, she was more angered by the fact that she couldn’t deny the power of his mere presence.

The years had been good to Darius. His handsome features were matured by a close-cut beard. He looked like he had put on some weight, in all of the right places, filling out his tall, athletic build.

Deep inside a little voice scolded her for letting go of the best thing that ever happened to her, but a louder voice told her it was for the better. After all, it was her decision to split up. The night of her big decision was as vivid as if it were yesterday.

Alexa had just received the job offer from Marks-St. Claire, a magazine publishing company located in Denver. Darius did not want to see her go, which he had expressed several times. The last time the discussion came up, the two were at home preparing dinner together.

“There are plenty of jobs in Detroit, babe,” Darius pointed out as he stirred the red sauce in the pot on the stove. “I know you’ve applied for some of them. Just give it time. Somebody will reply.”

“I can’t stay here forever, Darius. I need to know what it feels like to have a place of my own. I want to create my own bills and pay them. Marks-St. Claire is offering me a good salary with great benefits and stock options. Tell me, how can I say no to that?”

“With your talents, babe, I know you can find something just as good here. Why don’t you wait it out?” he tried coaxing, but it only made her increasingly frustrated.

“I can’t keep depending on you,” she sighed. Darius had been paying her bills after her work study job ended following graduation. “I have to make my own way.”

“I like taking care of you,” he assured her, wrapping her in his embrace and kissing the tip of her nose.

A wave of anxiety gripped her as her mother’s voice came to mind. Five years down the line, she didn’t want to be saddled with kids she wasn’t ready for. Nor did she want a man to feel like he was keeping her. As her mother said, her education was the ticket to a self-sufficient lifestyle. Marks-St. Claire was offering her that life. She wasn’t sure she wanted to chance a relationship with Darius that could be potentially wrong for them. If they were meant to be then they would come together again, she told herself countless times.

The decision to accept the position hung over her head like a dark cloud. To make matters worse, Darius had hinted around at marriage to sweeten the deal.

As a last attempt to keep her in Detroit, Darius had proposed to her after a night filled with passionate lovemaking. Lying in his protective arms, Alexa was glad that it was dark for it hid her tears. Darius felt the sobs racking throughout her body and had mistaken her tears of sorrow for tears of joy. While Darius slept with a contented smile on his face, Alexa placed his ring on the nightstand and slipped out of his embrace and essentially his life.

It seemed as though the taxi driver was an accomplice to her escape that morning as they sped down the expressway. She turned her tear-streaked face from the window to the driver with a questioning look. Was this supposed to happen? There was hardly any traffic about and he was driving like his life depended on getting to their destination.

It was when she noticed his slightly bobbing head and heard the reggae beat popping through an old transistor radio perched on the dashboard that she realized he was in his own world. She sank back in her seat and closed her eyes with Darius’s face haunting her silent reverie. How could she make him understand that it was the right thing for both of them? She loved him too much to mess up his life, but leaving was something she had to do. She knew that if she didn’t leave now, she never would. Her mother’s words rang through her mind. “Don’t tie yourself down before you’ve experienced life.”

For many years, her mother had preached that sermon to Alexa and her brother. However, the words were especially meant for her; she didn’t want her daughter to make the same mistakes as she did.

Alexa’s parents were married the summer following graduation from high school believing that it was the only thing to do because they were in love and were expecting their first child. After fifteen years of marriage, the two grew up and eventually grew apart.

Alexa made it a practice to never talk much about her family, so telling Darius how much her mother’s words impacted her decision never presented itself. Rather then reveal the dysfunction in her family, Alexa took the low road, journeying to a future she embraced and praying that fate would shine favor on her. However, when her eyes met Darius’s upon entering the room, there were no signs of fate being kind as animosity filled the air.

She sat on the edge of the bed.” I don’t know why I thought he would behave any other way,” she murmured to herself. “But nine years is a long time to hold a grudge.”

She was interrupted by a soft knock.

“Come in,” she called. She knew it was Maya coming to save the day.

She was right when her friend poked her head in. “Are you okay?”

Alexa nodded, and then laughed halfheartedly. “As okay as I can be.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything, Maya,” Alexa replied. She noticed that her friend’s way of taking on other people’s problems had not diminished over the years.

“I should have left things alone.”

“Well, apparently he has some place to stay, so I wouldn’t worry about it,” Alexa replied. “Besides, you have other things to worry about.”

Alexa hoped she sounded convincing because she didn’t want Maya to worry about her or Darius.

Chapter 3

Early the next morning, Alexa was shaken awake by a very distraught Maya. She knew that something was wrong judging by the anxiety in Maya’s tone and the urgency in her actions. Alexa immediately sprang up into a seated position, her eyes wide with wonder and her heart hammering in her chest.

“Wh-what’s wrong, Maya?” she asked, clutching the front of her gown in terror.

Maya sank into a nearby chair and covered her eyes with her hands. “It’s Bry’s mother. She had a diabetic episode last night and they had to rush her to the hospital.”

“Oh, my Lord,” Alexa moaned. “Is she okay?”

Maya shrugged. “We haven’t heard anything as of yet and Bryant and I need to go to the hospital. I don’t know if I can handle this right now.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Alexa asked.

“Do you mind watching the girls?” Maya asked as she began to remove the scarf from her head, allowing the silky curls to fall in disarray around her face.

“Of course I don’t mind!” Alexa replied. “I just pray that Bryant’s mom is okay. How is he holding up?”

“To be expected. He’s upset because he knew how excited his mother was about the wedding. We believe that in the excitement of it all, she may have forgotten to take her insulin.”

Alexa paused. She understood how easy it was to forget important details when your mind is focused on other things. Just the other day, she’d left her purse at home while on her way to work. Since the wedding announcement, she frequently found herself so nervous awaiting her confrontation with Darius that she’d forget the simplest task.

“By the way,” Maya began as if reading her mind. She rose from the side of the bed. “Darius is supposed to swing by to work on Bryant’s computer in his office. Bryant tried calling him when he found out about his mother, but he couldn’t reach him. He must have already left his hotel room.”

Alexa’s first instinct was to protest, but given the delicate situation her friends were facing, she refrained from doing so. Instead she tried her best to assure her that everything would be okay.

“Don’t worry about a thing, Maya. I’ve been looking for an opportunity to spend some time with my goddaughters.”

Maya turned around before exiting the room. “Thank you, Alex, for being here. I’m so grateful you came early, you just don’t know.”

Had it been any other day, Alexa would have remained in the bed until noon, but godmother duty called. When Maya closed the door, she got out of bed and opened the dresser drawer in search of something to wear.

The first thing that she laid her eyes on was a snug black sweater and a pair of fitted boot-cut jeans. Although casual, the outfit complemented her size ten figure. However, she had second thoughts when she remembered Darius. She didn’t want him to entertain the idea that she was dressing to impress him. So, she quickly laid the outfit to the side and selected a loose-fitting pair of sweats and an oversized long-sleeved T-shirt. Ordinarily Alexa wouldn’t be caught dead in her sweats; however, they came in handy today. She hoped that choosing the sweat suit over something more visually appealing sent a strong message of indifference to Darius.

Before stepping into the bathroom, she stopped to turn on the CD player. She fingered through the CDs in the holder, before selecting Cassandra Wilson’s latest.

Once the composition started to play, she gathered her things and went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As the water warmed up, she bobbed over to the sink and began brushing her teeth.

Moments later she emerged from her quarters feeling fresh and ready for the day. To her surprise the Renault family was seated at the breakfast table before 8:00 a.m.

Bryant, who was pouring himself a second cup of coffee, glanced up as she entered. “Thanks, Al, for staying with the girls.”

“No problem. I just pray that your mom is okay.”

Bryant didn’t respond and Alexa could see the concern in his eyes. “Are you ready, Maya?”

“Mommy, where are you going?” Brielle asked.

“We told you, boo,” Maya answered patiently. “Daddy and I have to see Granny because she is sick.”

“Is Granny gonna be okay?” Monaye asked, her little face contorted as if she would cry. She was definitely the emotional one.

Bryant and Maya exchanged worried glances.

“We hope so,” Bryant finally answered.

Maya quickly added, “You can do your part by praying for her in the meantime.”

“I will,” Monaye quickly replied.

“I’ll pray, too, Mommy,” Brielle said, not wanting to be left out.

“I pray, Mommy, okay?” Sasha added.

Maya smiled at her precious children with loving eyes. She leaned down and pressed her lips to each of their foreheads. The tender exchange was like a Kodak moment.

“Call me as soon as you hear something,” Alexa called out.

“We will,” Maya promised, releasing her hold on the girls. Alexa could see the lines of worry furrowing her brow. She walked to the door behind Bryant, and Alexa followed.

“Thanks again, girl,” Maya said turning back to her friend for a hug before departing.

Alexa squeezed her tightly. “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”

Maya solemnly nodded and left to join Bryant in the warming vehicle.

Alexa watched them from the doorway. As they began backing out of the driveway, she closed her eyes and said a quick prayer. When she opened her eyes a black SUV pulled up the drive and stopped alongside the truck.

Alexa’s stomach fluttered when the window rolled down and she spied Darius poking his head out to talk to Bryant. In a flash, she closed the door and scurried over to the front bay window. She peeped through the drapes to see the two talking. After a few moments, Bryant continued to back the truck down the drive. Alexa waited for Darius to do the same, but was surprised when he pulled in and parked.

She exhaled, her breath creating a fog on the window. Why is he staying? she asked herself. It would be awkward having him around without Maya and Bryant around to be buffers between them to alleviate possible tension. Darius had a way of stealing her control, which really unnerved her.

She watched him fiddling around inside the truck for a few minutes before opening the door and stepping out. So as not to be seen, Alexa hurried off to the kitchen where the girls had just finished eating their breakfast. The three of them wandered into the adjoining great room where they were watching cartoons.

In an attempt to look busy, Alexa began to clear the table when the door opened.

“Good morning.” He greeted her in a voice as smooth as a caress.

Alexa looked up right into his smoldering eyes. How could he look so sexy at this hour of the morning? she wondered, digging his style. The reversed leather Kangol cap on his head and the belted, black leather jacket looked good on him.

“Good morning,” she responded, turning her back to him to place the dishes she was holding inside the dishwasher.

“Uncle Darry!” Monaye and Brielle screamed in unison. They scrambled up from their places on the floor and charged him like miniature linebackers on a quarterback.

“Hey, little bits!” he returned, scooping them both up in his arms. “How are my girls?”

“Guess what?” Monaye asked, completely ignoring his question. “Our granny is sick.”

“I know,” he sadly replied. “Your dad just told me.”

“Mommy said we should pray so she can get better.”

“That’s a good idea,” Darius replied.

“Okay, let’s pray,” Monaye suggested as she had seen her mother do on countless occasions. She motioned for Darius to place her back on the floor, and he obliged.

Alexa, who had heard everything as she watched from her side of the room, found her goddaughter’s approach touching.

Just as they did at the dinner table, Monaye locked Darius’s hand in one of hers and Brielle’s in the other.

Darius glanced up at Alexa with pleading eyes as if begging for a way out. Alexa, in turn, pretended as if she hadn’t noticed, believing that she was exempt from the circle. However, that was not the case as Monaye called her over to join them.

“Are you sure?” Alexa asked, stunned by the child’s astuteness.

Monaye nodded. “Mommy said that if more than two people pray in Jesus’ name, God will answer our prayers.”

This time it was Alexa who looked to Darius for a way out. But just as she had treated him moments before, he returned the favor by ignoring her pleas. To stress his point, he released Monaye’s hand and extended his hand therefore creating a space for her.

Seeing no other way of getting out of it, Alexa joined them. The point at which she entered required her to hold Darius’s hand. It was the first time they had touched in nine years. His hand was more massive than she remembered, yet amazingly soft.

For a few seconds they stood there looking at one another to see who would take the initiative. Alexa thought Darius would and vice versa. Again, they were surprised when Monaye stepped forward with a sweet, short prayer for her grandmother. When she was done, Brielle followed suit. Alexa was impressed and made a mental note to praise her friends for the great job they had done in developing their children’s spirituality.

Upon the completion of Brielle’s contribution, Alexa prayed for complete healing and energy for the upcoming celebration. When she was done, all eyes fell on Darius. Alexa didn’t know if it was his nerves or the warm jacket he wore that produced the beads of sweat on his brow, but he surprised Alexa with a short yet eloquent prayer.

When they were done, Alexa instructed the girls to play in the family room while she finished cleaning up the kitchen. Darius slipped out of his coat and tossed it on the ottoman before getting down on his knees to initiate play with the girls.

Alex moved back and forth from the table to the dishwasher, occasionally stealing glances at the foursome roughhousing in the next room. The girls screamed with delight each time Darius held one of them high above his head and pretended to drop them, only to cradle them against his solid chest. At one point, she paused to watch them tumbling into a pile on the floor in fits of laughter.

As Alexa observed their play, memories of their playful days back in college came to mind. Darius loved to wrestle with her. He claimed that the tough image she tried to portray energized him and he liked showing her who the “champ” really was. Any signs of boldness or bravery challenged Darius and he would lift her high above his head before tossing her on the sofa. If she talked back, he would pin her down beneath his weight until she admitted that he was “the king.”

She recalled one occasion when they were spread out on the living room floor after watching WWF.

Darius was on top of Alexa and had one of her arms and one of her legs pinned down. “You give?” he panted, searching her face for signs of surrender.

“No!” Alexa screamed, squirming to set herself free.

He responded by raining kisses over her face and neck. As he worked his way down and inside her button-down shirt, she screamed out that she gave up. Upon hearing that, Darius’s grip loosened and his kisses softened. Minutes later, they would be wrapped in each other’s arms.

With Darius nearby, in the other room, Alexa grew uneasy as thoughts of them being intimate entered her mind. She always believed that what they shared was unique. Making love to Darius was like exquisite art, beautiful music comforting scents, and freedom of expression all rolled into one. It bothered her to know that Darius would always possess a part of her that she could never, ever share with anyone else.

“Whatever you’re thinking about must be good,” a voice said from behind, causing her to jump with surprise. Alexa turned around to find Darius leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed before his chest.

“Excuse me?” she asked, her face warm with embarrassment.

“I would like to be in your head right now,” he replied.

Heat radiated from her collar. Little did he know that he was already in her head. “I was just thinking about something,” she uttered.

“You were smiling so wide, I thought you won the lottery,” he continued.

“If that was the case believe me I would be doing more than just smiling,” she retorted, turning back to the cupboard to retrieve the box of dishwasher detergent. Pouring some into the dispenser, she set the timer and turned it on. All the while, Alexa knew Darius was watching her and knowing this made her uncomfortable.

From where Darius stood, he had a good view of her backside and he couldn’t help but smile with appreciation. Her efforts to thwart his attention had failed as he found her as appealing in the nondescript clothing as he would in a sassy red dress. He was curious to know what had her paralyzed in thought just moments ago. Whatever it was, she turned down the glow like a halogen lamp. He mistook her quiet musing as an invitation for company and thought it would be a good time to ask her out to dinner as friends. However, the idea quickly escaped him when she closed up like a clam.

“Well, I played long enough,” he announced. “I guess I better get to work.”

“Good idea,” Alexa quickly agreed. Then as to not sound too harsh, she added, “I have to get the girls dressed anyway.”

At the mention of their well-being, the girls groaned in protest.

“Come on, girls, you know you have to get ready for the day.” Alexa ushered them towards the stairs.

Darius watched as they trudged past with sad expressions. He waited until they disappeared upstairs before heading for Bryant’s office.

The work that needed to be done to Bryant’s computer took longer than Darius anticipated. It was after 4:00 when he emerged from the office tired and famished.

His stomach growled as he made his way from the back of the house into the main living quarters. The house was as quiet as an empty church. Thinking Alexa had left with the children, he headed towards the kitchen in search of something to devour. As he rounded the corner leading into the kitchen he came to a screeching halt, surprised to find her seated at the table; his mouth was agape with awe.

Alexa appeared to be deep in thought as she gazed out of the window, grasping a mug of hot tea. Darius almost didn’t want to disturb her. She looked so peaceful and radiant, with the natural light warming her nut-brown complexion. He fought the urge to approach her and stroke her ebony tresses, but he knew he could not do that. The act would have been too intimate and much too forward considering the circumstances.

“Alex.” He said her name softly. So softly that he thought only he could hear, but she had.

She turned around, her honey-brown eyes aglow.

“The house is so quiet. I thought you all were gone.”

“The girls are taking their nap.” She whispered as if speaking aloud would wake them way upstairs.

The mention of the girls brought a smile to his lips. “Those girls are something else, especially that Monaye. She is Maya all over again.”

Alexa smiled and nodded in agreement. Her response encouraged him to enter the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” she pointed over to the stove. “I just made some potato soup.”

His brow lifted. Potato soup was his favorite. “I am starving!” he said and went over to the kitchen cabinet to grab a bowl.

“Have you heard from Maya and Bryant?” he asked, taking a seat.

Alexa nodded. “They are on their way home. Ms. Lily is stable and will be fine in time for the wedding.”

Darius exhaled in relief. “That’s good news.” He knew how close his cousin was to his mother as he had the same type of relationship with his own mother.

Alexa gazed down at the mug between her clasped hands.

Darius felt her slipping away and tried to drum up something to say in order to retain the pace of the conversation.

“Since you’re back, are you going to take some time to reacquaint yourself to the city? Maybe see some old friends?” He hoped to keep her talking in an effort to bring forth ease and hopefully fade away the tension.

“I didn’t plan on it,” she replied. “As you know, we moved here when I was ten years old and my folks left the area while I was away in college. The only tie I really have here now is Bry and Maya.”

“Well, let me know if you change your mind. I could go for a night out on the town. It seems as if every time I come here it’s all about business.”

Alexa shook her head. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“And why not?” He spooned up some of the soup and blew on it to cool it off before eating. When he put the contents in his mouth, his eyes closed with pleasure. Alexa had made it just the way he liked it with chunks of potato, leeks and chives.

“Because we are not exactly friends,” she retorted, recalling his words from that telephone call she made.

“That is precisely the reason why we should do it.”

“What would that prove?”

“That we are two mature adults who can set aside our differences and at least be civil towards one another,” he offered.

“While that would be ideal, we both know that too much has been said for me to pretend like things are okay.”

“If my memory serves me correctly, I can recall that the exchange of words may not have been said at all if certain actions by a certain party were not made.”

Alexa’s eyes widened at his words before narrowing into angry slits. She couldn’t believe that he had the gall to go there. “And you say set aside our differences. How can we if you make comments like that?”

“Well, it’s the truth, Alex,” he charged. “Your actions led to my words, plain and simple. I just call it as I see it.” He pushed aside the half-eaten bowl of soup, totally losing his appetite. The muscles in his jaws tightened in anger. He wasn’t prepared for this and was upset at himself for allowing her to witness his agitation.

“Who are you to sit up here and condemn me!” she exclaimed. His accusation may have been true, but she was not in the mood to hear it.

“The truth hurts doesn’t it?”

Alexa was not prepared for a confrontation, nor did she desire one. She couldn’t even respond to his question, allowing several minutes to pass in silence.

Darius couldn’t take it anymore and announced that he was leaving.

“That’s probably for the best,” she hastily agreed.

He rose from his chair and marched into the next room in search of his coat and hat.

Alexa went straight to the closet where she had hung it shortly after he deposited it in the family room. She removed it from the hanger and handed it over.

“You know, you still should take me up on my offer,” he said in a thick voice.

“Whatever.” She couldn’t believe that he still wanted to go out after just picking a fight.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, leaning in closer. “Are you afraid that your feelings for me haven’t disappeared after all?”

Her eyes widened, and her mouth gaped open in disbelief. “I can’t believe how full of yourself you are.”

“And so are you,” he returned. “The years may have come between us but you are the same Alexa.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He stepped closer to her. “You know exactly what it means. I know you, Alexa, especially when it comes to me—you are easy. You were easy then and you’re easy—”

“Stop while you’re ahead!” she warned, her eyes ablaze with fury. “I don’t know who you think you are coming in here trying to put me down. I could say a lot about that situation, but I won’t because I don’t want to stoop to your level of game playing. I’m not into playing games. If that is what you’re all about these days, Darius, then you can leave me alone.”

With a smug look on his face, Darius shook his head and departed without another word.

Alexa was fuming when she later repeated her altercation with Darius to Maya over dinner that evening. The two had the house alone. The girls were spending the remaining part of the week with Maya’s mother while Bryant went to spend time with his own mother.

“I don’t know who he thinks he is trying to make me look like some bad person,” Alexa huffed as she took a sip of her wine.

“That doesn’t sound like Darius,” Maya replied.

Alexa threw her a surprised look. No, she was not sticking up for him.

“Well, it was him. He is such an ass. I swear I don’t know what I saw in him to begin with!”

Maya knew, but she refrained from replying.

“He called me easy, Maya. Can you believe that?”

Maya grunted in response.

“So you’re playing silent now,” Alexa voiced, noticing Maya’s silence. “Normally you would be on this story like a cat on a mouse!”

“I’ve just learned to keep my peace at certain times,” Maya replied, clamping her teeth down on a piece of spicy garlic chicken.

“Yeah, right,” Alexa scoffed. “I don’t care, I am not going to play his childish games of cat and mouse. I’m just going to avoid him until I leave.”

She knew what she was proposing would be hard. Just thinking about him made her stomach feel like butterflies were doing somersaults. Over the last few days, her emotions were as unreliable as a weatherman—stormy one minute, sunny the next.

“Then you’ll ruin things,” Maya whined.

“No, I won’t. I just won’t deal with Darius.”

“There will be instances where the four of us will have to come together like when we take pictures. I don’t want you having an attitude and ruin my wedding day.” Maya huffed as she dropped her fork on her plate and slumped back against her seat.

Alexa rolled her eyes at Maya’s display, frustrated that her friend did not understand her dilemma. “I’m not trying to ruin your wedding, Maya. I’m just pissed off at Darius for his comment. He was wrong for what he said.”

“What you did was wrong, too,” Maya shot back. She immediately covered her mouth as if regretting her comment.

Alexa was equally surprised by her outburst. “What do you mean by that crack?”

“I’m just saying that I think he was just as justified as you for his actions,” Maya carefully replied.

Alexa’s curious eyes widened in disbelief. “So you think I’m easy, too?”

“No, no,” Maya interjected, waving her hands. “I’m not saying that. What I am saying is that you hurt him. Regardless of how long ago that occurred, Darius was hurt. He’s probably still hurting. People don’t realize how first loves leave lasting impressions on a person.”

“I loved him, too, Maya. You sound like I reacted totally without emotion and that was not the case,” Alexa cried out, jumping to her own defense. “I was hurt, too.”

“But you were the one who left. The man asked you to marry him. You slept with him, packed up your things and left. How would you have felt if the tables were turned?”

“But I told you how necessary it was for me to establish my career before getting involved in a serious relationship.”

“I believe that was your mother’s suggestion,” Maya corrected her.

Alexa’s frown softened. “That’s not fair, Maya.”

“And you think it’s fair to Darius?” Maya asked. “I understand what your mother had gone through, Alexa, but that was her experience. She had no right telling you not to fall in love until a certain age. Love comes when it’s ready. We can’t conjure it up when we think the time is right. Darius loved you. It tore him up when you left. I should know because I was there.

“I’m not saying that you were wrong for not wanting to get serious at a young age, but I think you could have gone about things differently. Bryant and I have been through the fire and the flood and we have managed to stand strong. He’s been supportive of my career, and I support him wanting his own business. If you truly love someone, it’s about give and take. Maybe your father didn’t know much about that, so don’t use that as an excuse with me because I know things can work out especially if it was meant to be.”

With that she slid back from the table and placed her soiled dish in the sink. Alexa remained seated, confused by it all.

Darius was reminded of Alexa’s cognac-colored eyes as he sipped Grand Marnier from the snifter. Regardless of the number of times he replayed the scene in his mind, he couldn’t understand why he had behaved the way he did. All he knew was that seeing Alexa again made him realize how much he had missed her.

She looked the same except more mature. Her eyes still possessed that tranquil, yet smoldering gaze laced with wonder and mystique.

The whole scene, which was blown out of proportion, occurred so fast that the next thing he knew he was leaving. As he climbed up into his truck, he resolved that the years had failed to diminish his feelings for her, and the Alexa he knew possessed the same feelings for him as well.

His love for her was enough to make him happy. When Alexa announced that she was offered a job in Denver, he was sure she’d turn it down especially if he asked her to marry him. When he told his parents of his plans, his mother had asked him to take his time, and his father had left it alone altogether. But Darius was in love, and he wanted to share that with the world.

When he had awakened that morning to an empty bedside, panic hit. Jumping from the bed, he prayed that Alexa was in the shower or maybe preparing their breakfast, but the house was as quiet as ever. In bewilderment, he sank down on the sofa and wondered what could possibly cause her to leave him. The only thing he could think of was his proposal. But, in his mind, he thought that would be the one thing that would draw her nearer, not push her away.

Suddenly, nothing mattered anymore. Not school, not his job, nothing. He probed everyone, Maya, Bryant, even her school counselor about her whereabouts, but no one knew anything. He even went as far as to contact the company Marks-St. Claire, but the receptionist told him in a nasally voice that it was against company policy to reveal personnel information. Empty-handed and heartbroken, he returned to Cleveland.

It was a slow process, but Darius managed to accept what had happened and after a year, stopped devising ways to get Alexa back into his life. He eventually completed his graduate program and accepted a computer analyst position with a reputable software development company. After he deemed himself ready, he began dating again. The women were not hard to come by, and his nights were not often spent alone. Even so, no woman came close to capturing his heart, body and soul like Alexa.

Darius laughed to himself as he raised the snifter to his lips once more. The bartender approached and placed another glass before him.

“Compliments of the cutie in the red, potna,” the bartender announced, nodding towards the door. Darius glanced over his shoulder to the woman sitting all alone. She smiled and raised her glass exposing her cleavage spilling from the black lace camisole. His eyes bucked at her feminine endowment, and she giggled as if she knew he was checking her out.

“Some women need to be arrested for making a man want to sin,” the bartender muttered before walking away.

Darius held up the glass with an unsteady hand and nodded a gesture of thanks. She apparently thought that was a cue for her to come over and she did not hesitate to sashay to his side.

With each step, more leg was exposed in the butt-hugging short skirt. She was throwing so many of her feminine assets around that he could barely concentrate on her face.

“You looked like you could use another,” she announced upon approach.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he replied. If somebody wanted to provide him with the means to distract him from his thoughts then so be it.

“My name’s Cherise.” She held out her hand as she took a seat on the available bar stool.

“Darius,” he said, shaking her hand.

“What brings you here, Mr. Darius?”

He wasn’t sure if he liked the way she sultrily sang his name or the suggestive glances she threw his way.

“Just needed a place to think,” he replied.

“Hmm, you’re thinking on an awfully expensive drink,” she cooed, referring to the sip of cognac remaining in his glass. She motioned for the bartender to send over another.

“Only the best for me,” he replied with a light chuckle.

“Is that so?”

He nodded. “What about you?”

She giggled, more like purred. “I like the best, too, baby, believe me. A couple drinks always relax me.” She raked her long, bloodred nails through her mane and shook it wildly until it fell across her face and down her breast. “I love to let my hair down, and kick my heels up. You know how much fun it is having your heels up, don’t you?”

Darius nodded until he realized what she was hinting around to. “Oh, well, I watch football to relax. Yeah, buddy. There’s nothing like a good football game, throwing that pigskin around.” If he wasn’t so occupied with thinking about Alexa, he would have flirted back, but all he could see were those sexy eyes flashing before his eyes.

“Skin, huh? I like the sound of that.” Cherise laughed. Her hand slid under the table and rested on his knee.

Darius pulled back. He had had too many drinks. This woman wanted to be taken advantage of tonight and he was in the mood to take advantage of someone. But Cherise wasn’t who he was after. The only one he could think about was Alexa.

Cherise rambled on with innuendoes, but Darius did not hear as his thoughts were on Alexa. He felt bad for their earlier encounter and suddenly felt the urge to make things right again. He pulled his wallet from his jacket pocket and removed a twenty-dollar bill.

“Hey, baby, where ya going?” Cherise asked, snagging his jacket and pulling him back.

“I gotta go,” he replied, placing the bill on the bar. He stood. “Thank you for the drink, Ms. Cherise. I apologize for having to dip out on you, but I have business to attend to.”

“Would you like me to join you?” she asked with a look of desperation in her eyes. Curiosity made him wonder about the contents beneath the skimpy clothes, but the idea of enduring Cherise’s company did not appeal to him.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Before she could utter another word, he departed.

Darius sat outside Bryant and Maya’s home peering up to the window where Alexa slept. He wasn’t sure if she was home, but his drunken state had lowered his inhibitions causing him to act first and think later. He was aware of his actions and justified them by his curiosity. Had he been sober and in his right mind, he was sure he would be somewhere else rather than lurking outside of his friends’ home.

He opened the door of his truck and staggered across the street and up the drive. Digging into his pockets, he retrieved a handful of change, along with his keys and some Tic Tacs. He took a quarter from the small pile of change and threw it at the window. It hit the stucco frame just beneath the window. He cursed lightly as he caught the glint of the coin spiraling into the brush below.

Digging into his pocket once more, he pulled out a nickel and with his best aim hit the window right on target. He waited for a few minutes but got no response. Searching once more, he tossed up another coin, which made its mark again. He decided that if Alexa didn’t answer this time he would call it quits. When on light came on, he resolved that he was not meant to be there and turned to leave when he heard someone whisper his name in the darkness.

“Darry?”

He turned around to find Alexa standing at a side door dressed in an emerald-green satin robe. “Alexa,” he sighed. Man, was she a sight for sore eyes.

Darius’s immediate reaction was to take her in his arms, but he didn’t want to repeat their earlier encounter by crossing the line.

“Can I come in?”

Alexa paused for a moment then beckoned him inside. “What are you doing out at this time of night?”

“I came to see you,” he replied, stumbling past her.

“Are you drunk?” she asked, catching a whiff of alcohol as he passed by. She turned on the light above the stove.

His eyes widened at the sight of her standing there in the thin wrapper, her feminine curves bringing tempting images to mind.

“I had a little to drink,” he replied as he flopped down on one of the kitchen bar stools.

She crossed her arms before her chest. “Darius, why are you drinking and driving? And more importantly why are you here at this hour?”

He exhaled loudly. “Because I want to apologize to you. I don’t know why I said what I said. No, I know why I said it, but I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry.”

His attempt at an apology was a little loud and jumbled, so rather than have him waking the whole house and risk having to explain his being there, she ushered him up the stairs to her room for privacy.

The first thing Alexa did when she closed the bedroom door was excuse herself to go to the bathroom. She did not want to give Darius any ideas by lounging around in her robe. She pulled out a pair of boxer shorts and a T-shirt and slipped them on.

As she exited the bathroom, she immediately spotted Darius’s coat and shoes on the floor beside the bed. He, on the other hand, was stretched out on her bed with his hands behind his head staring up at the ceiling. The hem of his fitted T-shirt was raised just enough to expose the downy hairs on his packed abs. Alexa gasped as she remembering the treasure hidden just beyond the band of his jeans.

Darius raised up, catching her by surprise. “Alexa.”

She took a seat on the bulky chair away from the bed. “Yes.”

“I’m really sorry about today,” he started again. Alexa knew it was his alcohol-induced state that caused him to continuously apologize because the Darius she knew was more reserved with his feelings.

“You were wrong for calling me easy. You, more than anybody, know that there is nothing easy about me.”

“I know,” he replied, sitting up.

Alexa’s heart began to beat fast. “Then why did you say something so stupid?”

He paused. “Because I wanted to hurt you. I wanted to see you hurt like I did. I’ve forgiven you, but I know I can’t forget it. You hurt me when you walked out on us.”

“What?” she exclaimed, unsure if she was prepared for what was to come.

“When you left me like you did,” he repeated. He proceeded to go on with a faraway look in his eyes. “Young brother was in love. I would have done anything you asked me to, but you were totally oblivious to my feelings.”

Alexa searched for words to say that would ease his pain, but she couldn’t come up with an excuse that would be fitting.

“You were my world, girl,” he whispered. “How could you end things like you did?”

The topic of conversation was too much and Alexa did not feel like discussing the past. The way she handled the situation was wrong and she realized it, but she wasn’t prepared to discuss it. Not at the moment, anyhow. The last thing she wanted to talk about was what she did wrong because that had been haunting her from day one.

“Look, Darius, it is apparent that you are intoxicated,” she announced, standing. “You are in no condition to discuss serious subject matter.”

Darius shook his head. His movement was so exaggerated that he looked as if he might give himself whiplash. “I may be a little faded, but I’m not incoherent.”

She shrugged. “Okay, how about I don’t want to talk about it.”

Darius looked at her strangely. “Alexa. Don’t you think I deserve to know?”

Rather than respond, she turned away from him, focusing her attention on the dresser before her. The next few days would be hard on both of them. For Alexa, trying to maintain a civil posture would be easy under other circumstances, but if every time she peered over her shoulder to find Darius watching her every move, she would likely falter.

Darius groaned and fell back on the bed.

The sound escaping from his throat caught her attention and she turned to find him stretched out on her bed. “What’s wrong?”

He moaned with a shake of his head. “My head is killing me. Can you get me an aspirin and some water?”

“Sure,” she quickly replied, heading to the bathroom. She located a bottle of Tylenol in the medicine cabinet. She turned on the faucet and filled a Dixie cup with water. When she returned to the bedroom, she found Darius fast asleep. Rather than wake him, she placed the cup and pain reliever on the nightstand.

Although she wanted to leave the room, she couldn’t help remaining in her place watching him sleep. Even in slumber, Darius was a fine piece of art. His sculpted arms and washboard stomach revealed that fitness was one of his priorities. The rise and fall of his chest with each breath, followed by the familiar growl-like snore added to his powerfulness. The slight furrow of his brow caused her to wonder what he was thinking.

It was funny how she couldn’t recall him frowning in his sleep in their younger days. She remembered how much she used to love watching him sleep. He seemed so masculine. His snoring always made her feel secure. Alexa missed that, and the old sinking feeling dwelled in her stomach.

Shaking away the longing like rain off of an umbrella, Alexa made herself walk away. She returned, moments later, only to lay a quilt on top of him before snuggling under one herself on the chair.

As soon as she propped her head against the cushioned padding, she fell fast asleep.

In the middle of the night, Darius awakened to find Alexa curled up on the chair in what looked like an uncomfortable position. He glanced at the alarm clock. It was a few minutes after 2:00 in the morning. He decided he could sleep the alcohol off for another two hours and be gone before the other inhabitants woke up.

Watching Alexa snoring peacefully made Darius determined not to sleep alone. He slipped out of bed and gently picked her up from the chair and carried her over to the bed where he laid her down. After covering her with the comforter, he lay down beside her, on top of the covers, pulling her into his arms. His heart beat like an African drum. He had imagined, actually dreamt about this moment many times. Having Alexa in his arms again felt so right. Like it was where she belonged.

Chapter 4

Just as smoothly as he had come in the night, Darius was gone the next morning. Through blinking eyes, Alexa wondered how she got into the bed. A secretive smile curved the corners of her mouth when she concluded that it was Darius’s doing.

That smile faded when she rolled onto her side and gazed out of the window, realizing the complications she was creating by allowing him to place her in difficult situations. Letting Darius inside the house and into her room could have been a mistake. While she was supposed to be there for Maya, most of her quiet time was spent reflecting on her feelings and past with him.

With a heavy sigh, she closed her eyes once again and allowed herself to escape into the past filled with passionate memories that touched her every essence.

Despite her initial reservations, Alexa and Darius hit it off. If there was one thing that she recalled about her relationship with him in comparison to other guys she dated, it was the fact that their personalities were a perfect complement. While Darius was talkative, Alexa was more of a listener. He taught her how to express herself more and she showed him how to listen well. Any tension that was apparent in the beginning had quickly dissolved as they fell into a comfortable place. Everything about their relationship was special, including their first time. Darius was her first lover. And, oh, what a lover he had been, Alexa thought with a smile.

Because she was a virgin, Darius felt it was important that they discuss what she wanted their first time together to be like beforehand.

Alexa took the necessary precautions to prevent pregnancy while Darius concentrated on fulfilling her wishes by making the evening special. When that special night had arrived, Darius fronted some money to Bryant for him and Maya to stay the night at a hotel. Once the apartment was vacated and while Alexa was away, he began to create an evening that his woman would never forget.

Alexa remembered being nervous the whole day. However, when she crossed the threshold of her bedroom, her anxiety dissipated when she saw the care Darius had put into making her first time special.

There were candles all over the room, giving it a warm, inviting glow. Darius had searched through his music collection and made a compilation cassette of the best love songs of the time by great artists of love like the Isley Brothers, Force MD’s, Ready for the World and Luther Vandross. The bed was redressed in white linens and was scattered with rose petals. On the bedside was a small plate containing strawberries, pineapples and chocolate dip along with a bottle of chilled champagne and two glasses.

In the dimness she called out his name.

“Yes, babe,” he responded softly.

She turned to the sound of his voice and blushed at the sight of him standing in the doorway, shirtless, wearing nothing more than a pair of jeans. He reached his hand out for her to come to him and she responded, her heart pounding in her chest like a bass drum. As she slowly moved towards him, she couldn’t help but get caught up in the ambiance that he had created. Once she reached him, Darius pulled her into his embrace. With his hands on her hips, he began swaying her into a slow dance.

He whispered sweet endearments into her ear as he held her tightly. She relaxed and rested her cheek against his smooth sturdy chest with a sigh, feeling as if she could stay in his arms like that all night long.

They danced to several love ballads before Darius took her by the hand, and led her over to the bed where he began to feed her some of the chocolate-covered fruit.

As she savored the sweet treat, Darius reached for the bottle of champagne and poured some into a wineglass. Holding the glass to her mouth, he tilted it for her consumption, deliberately allowing some of it to leak out of the corner of her mouth and trail down her chin to her neck and finally into her blouse. With a mischievous grin, he cleaned up the liquid with his warm tongue.

No words were exchanged as Darius proceeded to remove each piece of her clothing in slow motion until she was standing naked before him. He stepped back to gaze upon her with love-filled eyes. Alexa blushed under his scrutiny and immediately glanced away, her hands covering her femininity.

However, Darius wouldn’t have it and looked into her eyes as he took her hands in his.

“I don’t want there to be any secrets between us, Alex,” he whispered as he stood before her. His lips tracked feathery kisses down her neck and shoulders while his hands caressed her soft skin. It didn’t take Alexa long to forget about her nudity and in moments her inhibitions gave way to the warm need stirring in her abdomen.

Darius was gentle. He loved her slow and sweet. It was everything Alexa wanted her first time to be like. When it was over, she cried because she knew she was in love. Darius whispered sweet promises as he kissed the tears away. The next morning, instead of eating they had each other for breakfast in her bed several times before falling asleep curled up to one another as if connected for life.

When they exited the bedroom later that evening, Bryant and Maya were grinning like Cheshire cats. However, Alexa’s smile was only for him because she knew her life had changed forever. The whole year, the two were inseparable until that fateful night when Alexa stepped out of his life.

Although she tried Alexa could not shake Darius’s memory, which burned like a torch in her heart. She believed that her disregard for their relationship came back to haunt her when Sean called off the wedding, reaffirming her belief in the saying “what goes around comes around.” Since then, she accepted the responsibility of what had occurred and chalked it up as a learning experience.

Yet here they were, nine years later and she felt helpless around him again. The ever-present chemistry between them hovered above as a reminder of how good they were together.

There was also the ever-present fact that the situation had driven a wedge between them. In time, she had learned to gain control of her emotions and move on. Yet she could not help but be reminded that she may have lost the one true love of her life.

Right now she had no place in her life or her heart for distractions. For the remainder of her stay, Alexa vowed to concentrate on her role in the wedding and not on Darius or their history. Once the festivities ended, she would catch the first flight back to Denver.

The orange sphere swirled around the rim a few times before sinking into the net. Darius jogged up to retrieve it, bounced it three times, looked to his left then to his right before pivoting sharply back to his left only to drive down the middle of the court for a layup.

Darius had lain awake most of the night thinking about her. It felt so good holding her in his arms again, and took everything he had within him to get up and leave. He left her curled up, hugging the pillow. Later in his own bed, he tossed and turned. He tried watching television, but there wasn’t anything on that held his interest, so he decided to get up and work out to clear his mind.

After shooting hoops for another half hour, he went up to the locker room to get ready for the day. He was glad Bryant was able to obtain a temporary pass to a 24-hour gym for him during his visit. Working out was a great tension reliever for him.

Sweat poured down his face as he peeled off the saturated T-shirt and shorts before stepping into a steamy shower. When the hot water hit his tired muscles and streamed down his body, thoughts of Alexa entered his mind. Darius had come to understand that seeing her again was like never having lost sight of her at all. They were three months into their new relationship and every day was like their first time meeting. He recalled in his mind the exact moment that he knew he was in love.

He had been studying for a test when Alexa returned from her campus job.

The minute he laid his eyes on her, he knew that there would be no studying taking place.

Her image stayed with him long after she left his presence for the kitchen. All he saw on the pages of his textbook were her smooth, shapely brown legs, soft feminine curves beneath her tank top and short denim skirt and those smiling brown eyes. He stole a glance at her pulling books out of her backpack and was mesmerized. Damn, she’s beautiful, he murmured to himself.

“Let’s go to the park,” he suggested a few moments after her arrival.

There was no denying the attraction between them. Alex, as he liked to call her, was the first woman who captured all of his senses. He knew that it would be a matter of time before their playful wrestling and the late-night company they kept while watching old movies would eventually lead to something more.

For right now he was content with being in her company. Not only did she have the temperament that complemented his own, but she was a beautiful person both inside and out and a lot of fun. Darius also enjoyed her sense of humor that came across as naiveté. This made him feel so relaxed in her presence and he appreciated that he could be himself.

“The park?” she asked, stepping from the kitchen. She smoothed her bangs, a habit of hers that he found to be so cute.

Darius nodded emphatically as he stood up, encircling her waist in his arms. “I need to take a break from the studying. C’mon,” he urged.

Alexa relented with a smile. “Okay, let me change.”

“No!” Darius blurted. “Don’t change. You are fine just the way you are.” He meant that in more ways than one and judging by the grin Alexa threw his way, he was sure she caught on to the double meaning.

They drove to their favorite park and walked the bicycle trail until they came upon a bench facing one of Michigan’s many lakes. Several people had their boats out on the lake, some sailing, others fishing. The one which caught Alexa’s eye was bright yellow. The gentle breeze made the colorful matching sails flap lazily.

Alexa sighed and leaned back on the bench up against Darius’s chest. “That’s pretty,” she cooed.

Darius turned to her, his heart fluttering like the winded sail before them. She was so close to him. He could smell the sweet cherry fragrance of her hair oil. She looked so stunning even with her hair pulled back into a silky ponytail. No, she did not possess model-like features like Maya, but she had a more wholesome splendor which attracted him more; an untouched beauty that he had to claim as his own.

He then proceeded to do what his heart had been telling him the moment they met. Without warning, with his hand on her cheek Darius gently turned Alexa’s face to his own and lowered his head meeting her lips with his own. His rapid breathing began to calm when she opened her mouth to receive him as though she had been waiting all along for the moment to happen.

When Darius finally pulled away they sat there for a few seconds smiling at one another. Then with no words exchanged, as none were needed, Darius just entwined his fingers with hers and they continued to watch the wind rippling across the waters.

Darius shook his head as if to erase the vision from his mind onto current matters, and emerged from the shower refreshed.

As he got dressed, Darius ran through his itinerary for the day. He planned to pick up his tuxedo as well as a gift for the “oldly-weds” before heading to the church for rehearsal.

As he passed the front desk, Patricia, the desk receptionist called out goodbye. She had made it known at check-in that her “friendliness” reached beyond the front desk. Although she was attractive, he was not interested. It seemed to be the pattern in his life lately. Some sisters had no shame at all in approaching brothers these days for “no strings attached” sex and he had turned down many.

However, there were a few he considered.

There were certain qualities in the women he liked which allowed them to last longer than others. He could count those few women on one hand. Valerie Fontaine was one of them. Valerie was a beautiful weight trainer and part-time swimsuit model who could cook her butt off. Her culinary skills involved all sorts of exotic vegetarian dishes. She was an upbeat person with a positive outlook on life, happy with herself and mentally and spiritually balanced. However, Darius noticed that her appointment book was filled with more social and business activities than free time. After a while, he grew tired of being penciled in at odd hours in order for them to spend time with one another so they eventually parted.

Then there was Lanai Edwards. Lanai was a successful attorney, gorgeous, very professional and very committed, but because she had placed her personal life second to her career in the past, she was dead set on achieving her goals for making wedding plans a year into the relationship. When Darius couldn’t agree to her terms, the relationship quickly dissolved.

Then there was Tori Stackhouse, a down-to-earth single mom who attracted Darius with her easygoing personality. He liked how she put her son’s needs before everything and how she didn’t expect much out of him. She had a good heart and was attractive as well. However, he couldn’t help but be reminded of Alex in her presence. Once, when they were making love, he whispered Alexa’s name into her ear. That was enough for Tori to not take things any further. She wasn’t about to play second fiddle to any woman, and Darius couldn’t agree more.

The past six months were spent trying to find what made him happy in life. Upon reaching his thirty-third birthday, he had come to the conclusion that he may never experience the love, trust and honor that a good woman could bring to his life. In the meantime, he decided he wasn’t going to sit around and dwell on what he didn’t have. He had a lot to be thankful for. For one, he was in good health as was his family. Secondly, he had a decent job and held a position as an active administrator of a predominantly black, inner-city high school for boys in which he found many rewards. He was lucky to sit on many high-profile boards throughout the city and was involved in several professional and service organizations where he met some good people.

Just when he thought he had reached the level he wanted to, he got the call from Bryant urging him to fly to Detroit to stand as best man in his wedding. Darius was all for it until he learned that standing opposite him was his old love interest Alexa Kirkwood. His stomach practically fell to the floor, but for the sake of his cousin, he agreed to be there with his game face on. However, from the moment they came face-to-face, he turned weak in the knees like a schoolboy and his reservations were tossed out the window.

Although his heart ached for her, he knew he couldn’t sacrifice his soul again. As he parked his truck outside of his hotel room, he knew that he had to do whatever was necessary to get through the weekend, regardless of the circumstances.

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