It’s not easy being the Queen Bee. Alice Taylor should know.

You know that girl. The one that the whole school’s social life seems to revolve around. Alice used to be that girl until she decided to quit sixth form college. Suddenly her ‘friends’ aren’t so interested in following her around and her attention-grabbing behaviour is about to get her kicked out of home. With nowhere to go and no one to turn to, her world starts spiralling seriously out of control.

Only new friend Zac Newton seems to believe in her. Lifeguard and poolside hottie, Zac is quite literally her lifesaver. But then, he’s never met ‘Malice’, her mean-girl alter ego, and Alice wants to keep it that way. She knows this is her last chance for a fresh start until her past catches up with her at the worst possible moment.

As everything Alice has worked towards comes crashing down around her, she realises that the hardest thing of all is being yourself…

A GIRL CALLED MALICE

Aurelia B. Rowl

www.CarinaUK.com

Also available by Aurelia B. Rowl:

Popping the cherry

AURELIA B. ROWL

lives on the edge of the Peak District in the UK with her very understanding husband, their two fantastic children, and their mad rescue mutt who doesn’t mind being used as a sounding post and source of inspiration. She regularly wows them all with her curious, hastily thrown together meals when she gets too caught up with her latest writing project…or five!…and she has developed the fine art of ignoring the housework.

Aurelia writes Young Adult/New Adult crossover fiction and contemporary romance. To find out more about Aurelia, or check out which project she’s working on right now, you can visit her website: www.aureliabrowl.com

This is the book that didn’t want to be written but with a lead character like Alice, I should have expected nothing less. At times Alice had me wanting to pull my hair out, refusing to let me inside her head, but she finally learned to trust me and allowed me write her story.

As ever, humongous thanks must go to my husband for keeping everything going on the home front, ferrying the kids to school and everywhere else and for holding the fort, especially in the run up to deadline when I locked myself away to get the words on the page. I guess I should also thank my children for letting me get on without too many distractions but it’ll be a few years yet until they’re old enough to read this book.

Massive thanks go to my fabulous editor, Anna Baggaley, for your patience and support while I struggled to get Alice’s story on paper. Your feedback and guidance has been invaluable and your praise and encouragement has bolstered my confidence and helped me to produce a story that I am very proud to have written. But yeah—phew —I’m glad it’s all done now…until the next book in the series, of course.

Thanks also to my good friends Jo and Sara, for listening to me complain when things weren’t going as well as I’d hoped and for coming up with various ideas (i.e. bribes like advent calendars and Thornton’s chocolate) to keep me motivated.

Speaking of friends, my ABCs have been there for me at every stage and I appreciate you all immensely. A special mention must go to Debbie Wentlein, of I Heart YA Books—alpha reader extraordinaire—so please stop by her blog and Facebook page and tell her I sent you. Unknown to Debbie, I changed a character’s name during the latter stage of edits and I hope Debbie likes the surprise. And then there are my ‘Antics’ who pick up the baton and read the books I write and help to spread the word.

I’d also like to give a shout-out to my fellow Carina UK authors to say how amazing you all are, especially Katlyn Duncan, Kierney Scott and Kerry Barrett for your input during the first draft. Thanks to the power of social media, a bunch of us are turning into a pretty tight-knit group made up of incredibly talented writers, across several different genres, and it is my privilege to consider many of you as my friends.

Many thanks must go to the wonderful staff at The Venue at Wimberry Hill for allowing me to explore and include their beautiful premises in Alice’s story. I would never have believed such a place could exist had I not seen it with my own eyes; I only hope I have done the place justice.

And finally to you, the reader; thank you for giving me this chance to write the stories I love and for welcoming characters like Lena, Jake, Zac, Alice, Flick, Nathan and the rest of the crazy gang from Popping the Cherry into your lives. I hope you can learn to forgive Alice as you embark on her story in A Girl Called Malice…

To my husband, Al, for being my best friend;

to my sister, Julie, for being my first friend;

and to Leonie, Andrew, Jo, Sara and Shona, for being fabulous friends for life…

Contents

Cover

Blurb

Title Page

Book List

Author Bio

Acknowledgement

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Soundtrack

Excerpt

Endpages

Copyright

Chapter one

Alone

Alice Taylor, you’re an idiot.

My one and only day off work all week yet I’d been up since the crack of dawn, unable to sleep after a night of tossing and turning. Summer was officially over and the first day of Year 13—Upper Sixth—had arrived. To quote Rizzo from Grease, it was my time to ‘rule the school’.

Except it isn’t.

Instead of strutting my stuff and causing chaos and mayhem in my wake, I was hiding out in my mum’s sleek-but-forgettable car like some crazy stalker because my own car was too noticeable. In a half-arsed attempt at a disguise, I’d pulled my hair back into a kill-me-now ponytail and wore over-sized sunglasses to hide my face and cover my bloodshot eyes. What the hell was I even doing there?

Torturing myself; that’s what.

Since there was nowhere else I wanted to be, I just sat there, with the window cranked down an inch to stop my breath from clouding the windscreen and blocking my view. One bus after another came and went, but then three girls stepped into view causing my empty stomach to lurch. Nina, Petra and Caroline had arrived on the scene and they looked magnificent, all tanned and glowing with health.

A twinge of regret rippled over me as I wished I could be with them. They took up our usual position next to the main double entrance. We’d claimed it as ‘our’ spot on the first day of Year 12, what with it being the ideal place to check everyone out as they made their way inside. Every day, we’d tear the dweebs to shreds with a look or a catty remark and, ideally, we’d make somebody cry before the first bell.

The absolute best way to start any term and to set the standard, we’d let everyone know who we were. Putting other people down gave me a back-handed boost, making me feel like I was better than them somehow and it soon became my coping mechanism, especially on the days I’d had a fight with Mum. Not that I’d ever admit why I’d done it, nor could I confide in anyone, which meant it was now up to Nina, Petra and Caroline to continue my tradition.

So why weren’t they?

Scratch that: it was obvious they were too busy looking for me. Their three heads turned this way and that, glancing at every car arriving in the car park and peering into the last wave of buses as they pulled up. It was pitiful how lost they looked without me and so they should, I was their leader after all.

No…I’d been their leader but not any more.

For a year they’d hung onto my every word and did whatever I told them to do. Back-up in numbers was always handy when your sole purpose at college was to offend everyone. I happened to be particularly talented at rubbing people up the wrong way and my last day in Year 12 was sure to go down in college folklore. I’d known even then that I was jacking in college but I really wanted to go out with a bang. How else would I be remembered otherwise?

I didn’t want to be just another faceless nobody, I got enough of that at home, and Virginia’s total and utter humiliation had been top of my wish list. When her pathetic Operation: Popping the Cherry shortlist had landed at my feet, the stupid bitch hadn’t even realised she’d given me the ammunition I needed for her downfall until it was too late.

Bittersweet, that last day at college just so happened to be my finest moment to date: the day I’d finally knocked the virtuous Virginia off her pedestal and brought her squeaky-clean reputation crashing down around her. Virginia wasn’t her real name of course; it was just the nickname I’d come up with for Valentina, another girl in my year on account of her being a virgin and a regular goody-two-shoes.

At least that’s the image she portrayed, but according to two of her exes, Damian and Hayden, she was a total cock-tease, yet she had the nerve to call me a slut. It was no wonder they’d both come looking for me. You wouldn’t catch me getting a guy all hot and bothered and then withholding the goods. Far from it. As guys went, I’d had worse. In fact, Hayden and I now had a bit of a ‘friends-with-benefits’ thing going on; aside from the fact we weren’t actually friends and neither did I want to be.

Judging from Virginia’s total no-show, I could take some comfort that I wasn’t the only one whose sixth form college education was over. Pity it wasn’t enough to take the edge off the bitter aftertaste left in my mouth. I looked back at my friends among the swarms of losers and total nobodies in their bland uniform of jeans and tees and got my second twinge of regret in as many seconds. I should have been over there, adding a much-needed dose of glamour, not hiding out.

Petra’s gaze turned in my direction and forced me to duck even lower into my seat. Through the open window, the sounds of the first warning bell reached my ears and tugged on my resolve. All I had to do was show up for class and no one would be any the wiser. Well, aside from the fact I looked a mess and had a job these days.

Nina, Petra and Caroline shared a glance, then Caroline checked her phone but if there was any message there, it wasn’t from me. I could see her fingers moving as she typed something and my phone buzzed less than ten seconds later. Straight to the point, her text simply read,

‘Where R U?’

I started typing a reply but my fingers stilled when the words failed to come. Guilt crawled the length of my arms and made my skin prickle as if an army of ants was marching all over me. They were my only friends. They’d be gutted, or worse…What if they hated me for leaving them in the lurch? I should have told them I was quitting as soon as I’d made the decision but something had held me back.

When I did finally decide to tell them, they’d practically disappeared. I barely saw them over the summer holidays to the extent they didn’t realise I worked full time. Some friends. How exactly was I supposed to inform them that I was dropping out of college if they didn’t keep in touch?

Music blared from nearby and I lifted my gaze from my phone to see where it was coming from. A little black car drove into the car park and pulled up alongside me. Whoever it was had a decent taste in music and I couldn’t help looking across to see who was driving. I regretted it instantly when a familiar face came into view. The music shut off the instant Virginia cut the engine. She’d shown up for college after all.

Perfect.

Thankfully, she was too busy gathering up her stuff to notice me staring. For how long though? Little Miss Perfect was going to have to walk right by me and I couldn’t afford to be noticed, not when I was alone and in no fit state of mind for that sort of confrontation. Left with no other option, I flattened myself against the passenger seat and counted to thirty before I risked a peek over the dashboard.

Certain the coast was clear, I sat up fully and spotted Virginia on college ground as she headed straight towards Nina, Petra and Caroline, who straightened as Virginia approached. Nina, Petra and Caroline’s lips moved and their sneers were awesome but their words seemed to fall on deaf ears. Virginia sauntered past them with her head held high. The smug cow. Talk about rubbing salt into the wound. She had no right to be smiling, looking all happy while I was slowly dying inside, and she definitely had no right to walk past my girls as if they weren’t there.

At least I knew what to write in my reply to Caroline now. I snatched up my phone from where it had fallen into the footwell and typed, ‘You’re on your own this time, girls, I’m done with college. Give ‘Virginia’ hell for me’ then I hit send before I could change my mind.

Time slowed as I waited for their reactions. Acutely aware of my racing heartbeat, I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel in time with the pounding rhythm. I knew the exact moment my text arrived because Caroline immediately stopped scouring the grounds for me and stared at her phone. My pulse spiked and I sucked in deep breaths through my nose, keeping my mouth shut for fear of being sick.

This is it…my reckoning.

Of all the scenarios I’d envisaged, the one thing I hadn’t anticipated was the slow grin which spread across Caroline’s face. She quickly handed her phone to Nina whose jaw plopped open as she lifted her gaze, almost looking right at me. A flicker of emotion—sorrow, or disappointment, maybe even concern—swept across Nina’s elfin features but then it vanished, replaced by a broad smile.

So much for being gutted.

Petra’s reaction didn’t show any concern at all. It was surreal, more like I was watching it on a television screen than seeing it in person. Their excited squeals grated on the last of my raw nerves but they stuck the knife in further with a round of high-fives before forming a huddle and embracing tightly. The two-faced bitches then broke apart to do some ridiculous jig that I wouldn’t be caught dead doing.

What the fuck?

I had my seatbelt off and my hand on the door release before I remembered I wasn’t supposed to be there. No, I was supposed to be tucked up in bed at home, fast asleep and completely oblivious to the absolute betrayal of my so-called friends. ‘To hell with them,’ I yelled, blinking back the tears that blurred my view. I smacked the heel of my hand against the steering wheel again and again, the jarring pain shooting up into my shoulder as the urge to do something stupid grew stronger. Before I could act on it, I gunned the engine and slammed the car into reverse.

I took one last look at college, then wheelspun away from my hiding place with a screech of tyres. So what if they saw me. Maybe it would wipe the smirks off their sanctimonious faces if they knew they’d just made it onto my hit-list. ‘I don’t need anyone, capiche?’ My strangled voice reverberated around the empty car, a stark reminder that it was just me, on my own.

Like always.

I paid no attention to where I was nor where I was headed. It didn’t matter. It’s not like I had anywhere to be. All I could do was drive. Seconds turned into minutes as I fought to block the thoughts which threatened to drown me. A police car came into view so I eased my foot off the accelerator; I didn’t need a ticket on top of everything else. Gradually, the tension eased in my hands and shoulders, eventually spreading to my chest.

Able to take more than short, shallow breaths again, I filled my lungs with air and focused purely on the mechanics of driving until the monotony of changing up and down the gears soothed me. Despite driving aimlessly for what had felt like an eternity, a brief glance out of the window told me exactly where I was and gave me an idea. Without bothering to check behind me, let alone use my indicator, I moved into the outside lane ready to make the rapidly approaching right turn.

My manoeuvre earned me a honk from the car I’d presumably just cut up. I shot the guy the finger and clung onto the spark it ignited—that fighting spirit—and channelled it. Less than two minutes later, I turned right again onto one of the streets branching off from the main road then followed it around a large bend, slowing down as the house I sought came into view.

Devoid of cars, the empty driveway didn’t mean anything, especially when the window above the garage still had the curtains drawn. The odds of Hayden being up and out of the house by ten o’clock were about as good as me joining a convent so I pulled up outside the modest semi-detached house. I’d once harboured dreams of living in a house just like it but then mum had got her hooks into her fancy man and propelled us straight into a grand, detached mansion.

Our current house was a far cry from the grotty terraced house I’d grown up in, complete with rising damp that always made my clothes smell musty. The area had been beautiful though, all rolling green hills. A part of me wished I could turn back time and go back to that dank house and get back to how it used to be with Mum. Or at least how I remembered it.

My deep sigh sounded deafening in the silence. With the burden of hindsight, I’d long ago realised none of it was true. Mum had never really been there for me, to the extent that I couldn’t even call her Mum any more; she insisted I use her first name and I had to pretend to be her little sister.

Keen to escape my darkening thoughts, I reached for the seatbelt clasp but found nothing there to release. In my haste to get away from college I must have forgotten to put it on. Something else that didn’t really matter. Mum—no, sorry, Michelle—would be more bothered about her car getting damaged than me if I’d crashed. Maybe I’d have more success at getting her attention as a ghost rather than her actual flesh and blood haunting and tormenting her.

Enough.

I leaned across the passenger seat and grabbed my handbag from the footwell where it had fallen. I’d been driving like a maniac with a death wish yet somehow nothing had spilled out. Grateful for small mercies, I dragged it up onto the seat and rooted around until my fingers brushed my travel make-up bag containing my emergency kit. Once I’d finished rubbing the foundation in with my fingertips, I applied the black liquid eyeliner, drawing a thick, heavy line across the top of my eyelid.

After years of practice, I had the whole look down to five minutes and I only needed to use the rear-view mirror twice. While the first coat of mascara dried, I reached up to release my hair from the vile ponytail and tossed the bobble onto the floor. My brush was still on my dresser at home so I had to make do with running my fingers through it to try and resuscitate the lifeless roots.

One final coat of mascara and a slick of lip gloss later, I was done; my transformation was complete. With my mask fixed in place and my game face on, a familiar thrill buzzed in my fingertips. I sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in short bursts to get my blood pumping.

Show time.

The sun blazed down on me, touching my bare skin and caressing my arms and legs as I set off down the path. It took two rings of the doorbell and several loud knocks before a distorted shape grew larger from behind the glass.

‘All right, all right. I’m coming,’ Hayden yelled, his voice heavy with sleep. Another late night most likely, either gigging with his band, Screwed, or from pulling a shift behind the bar to top up his funds. The door inched open and his face appeared, squinting against the bright light. His stormy expression softened the moment he saw me. ‘Where’s the emergency?’

‘Funny you should say that,’ I said, hitting him my best come-hither smile. I pushed the door open fully to reveal his half-naked body then casually skimmed my fingers over the front of his drawstring shorts as I drew my hand back.

Hayden’s lips parted in a gasp and he quirked his eyebrow at me. ‘Like that, is it?’

‘Like what?’ I said, feigning innocence. My actions betrayed my tone when I slipped my hand inside the waistband of his shorts and gripped him, hard, immediately rewarded by a sharp grunt.

In a blur of movement, Hayden reached for my shoulders and dragged me inside. He kicked the door closed, then slammed me forcefully back against the cool surface, knocking the air from my lungs. I whimpered, but definitely not with pain. The jolt had given me the final nudge I needed to fully immerse myself in the role I’d carved out for myself.

‘So, this emergency of yours,’ Hayden said, his voice now heavy with something other than sleep and in complete contrast to the feather-light touch of his finger drawing circles on my bare thigh and moving upwards. ‘Is it something I can help you with?’

‘Maybe,’ I said, still playing coy.

‘Is that so?’ The stubble on his cheek scraped across my skin as he trailed his lips across my jaw and down to the crook of my neck before breaking off to stare into my eyes. ‘How about this, then?’ His hand brushed against my knickers and I shivered involuntarily, ‘Does this help?’

‘Yes,’ I whispered. The word turned into a hiss the moment his fingers eased past the cotton barrier of my knickers. ‘Oh hell yes.’ I released my grip on him just long enough to grab the band of his shorts then wrench them down, exposing just how awake he was now.

Hayden lived up to the phrase ‘morning glory’ and then some. He followed my lead and dragged my knickers down over my hips then let them fall to my ankles, replacing the scant fabric with his fingers. When I reached for him again, he batted my hand away with his free one. ‘If you do that again, it’ll be all over,’ he said, all the while teasing me and keeping me pinned against the door. ‘Your choice.’

‘Fine.’ I pouted playfully and squeezed my thighs together to halt his movement. ‘Where do you want me?’

Hayden smiled a wicked grin and wiggled his fingers inside me one more time before withdrawing them. He stepped out of his shorts, half-kicking them across the floor, then he reached for my hand. Using him for balance, I reached down to manoeuvre my knickers over my feet without removing my heels, then let him lead me up the stairs to his bedroom.

As soon as we reached his room, Hayden released my hand to open the drawer on his bedside cabinet. ‘Get on the bed,’ he demanded.

‘Hey, I’m not one of your groupies, you know.’ My retort was nothing more than a token argument and Hayden’s glance confirmed he knew that, but something else lingered in his brief look—something I couldn’t read—but then he snapped his attention back to the drawer.

While I hitched up my skirt and lay back on his bed, Hayden pulled out a condom. He rolled it on, then climbed onto the bed to take up position between my legs. I wasn’t quite ready for his first thrust but the discomfort was a blessing in some ways; it gave me something external to focus on that I knew would soon pass rather than the emotional pain that lurked beneath the surface which I refused to face.

Sex was both a weapon and a cure, as well as my drug of choice and I was probably one of the worst junkies out there. I revelled in the thrill of the chase, the conquest, and the knowledge of being wanted. Bad-ass, super-sexy Hayden had wanted me so badly there hadn’t even been the time to get undressed.

Mission accomplished.

With Hayden otherwise distracted, I was free to search for the now familiar shapes in the textured ceiling. All I had to do was remember to moan every thirty seconds or so, to the point I was struggling not to laugh as I mentally ticked off the shapes one by one: the teddy bear; the dog; the table; the car…discovering something new with each visit.

The tell-tale twitch and the vein bulging in Hayden’s neck told me it was almost over so I wrapped my legs his waist and gripped. I wasn’t completely heartless and with all the effort he was putting in, the least I could do was fake an orgasm so I dug my nails into his back, threw back my head and let out a groan worthy of an Oscar. Hayden jerked and thrust hard for one final swansong, then came to a shuddering halt and collapsed on top of me.

Ha!

The routine worked every time and for once, Hayden hadn’t even tried to kiss me. The guy was learning. Christ, I hadn’t kissed a boy on the mouth since I was thirteen and even then it was more a clumsy crashing together of teeth. Yuck. The idea of kissing a guy was just too…too what? Romantic? Personal? Intimate?

All of the above?

Hayden’s breathing slowed and grew deeper. Each gust ruffled through my hair and tickled my cheek so I reached up carefully to push it behind my ear. One problem sorted, now to figure out how to disentangle myself from Hayden before he fell asleep completely and became a dead weight. I’d barely moved an inch when Hayden stirred. He shuffled off me to lay by my side then propped himself up on his elbow with his head resting on his palm to look at me.

‘Leaving already?’ There was a distinct note of pleading in his voice, more than hinting that he didn’t want me to go.

Not good.

‘Yeah,’ I said, trying to keep my tone light even as an icy chill swept through my veins and brought my skin out in goosebumps. I disguised my sigh as a deep breath and sat up. ‘You go back to sleep, I’ll see myself out.’ I swung my legs off the side of the bed and moved to stand up but Hayden caught hold of my hand.

‘Do you already have plans for today?’ he asked, not trying anywhere near hard enough to quash the wistful lilt this time. ‘I’ve got band practice this afternoon. We’re working on a new song.’

‘Oh,’ I said, scrambling for a way to let him down gently.

‘I wrote it.’ A smile played across his lips and his gaze lit up with a flash of pride, along with dash of vulnerability. ‘It’s about somebody I know,’ he said, trying to play it cool but he was a far better singer than an actor. ‘You should come along and listen.’

Uh-oh.

‘Um, no, sorry I can’t. I have plans, you see.’ The death knell on our arrangement was ringing out. ‘Speaking of which, I need to get going.’

‘Can you change them? Or blow whoever it is off?’ he asked, increasing the pressure on my hand. ‘It would mean a lot to me.’

Fuck.

How could I have been so blind? So stupid? I knew better than keeping the same guy on for so long but I thought Hayden knew the score—that it was just sex. Apparently not, which meant only one thing: it’s over.

‘I don’t think so, Hayden.’ I tried to shake off his hand but he only tightened his grip.

‘So is that all I am to you?’ The pressure on my hand bordered on painful. ‘A fuck-buddy?’

‘Yes, Hayden, that’s exactly what you are.’ I swivelled round to glare at him but I couldn’t hold it, not when I saw the pain shimmering in his eyes.

‘Fine.’ Anger replaced the pain in his voice and he released my hand as if he’d been burned. ‘You got what you came for, now get out.’

Free to move, I yanked my hand away and pushed up to standing. Keeping my back to him, I jutted out my jaw and crossed the short distance to the door with my head up and my shoulders back yet when I tried to walk out, my feet rooted themselves to the floor. My curse of a conscience reared its ugly head once again, refusing to let me leave without saying something to Hayden.

My bravado was slipping anyway so I let it fall just enough to offer him a glimpse of the girl behind the bitch mask. The real me. After all these weeks of being at my beck and call, he deserved that much. ‘I’m sorry, Hayden.’ I meant it too. A part of me wished I could give him what he so clearly wanted but the rest of me was screaming and begging me to get the hell out of there.

When Hayden finally looked at me, his eyes widened. My planned goodbye dried up on my lips. He’d seen too much. No longer glued to the spot, I yanked off my heels and fled.

‘Alice. Wait!’ he called.

Bed springs creaked behind me, spurring me on and I sprinted down the stairs with my shoes in one hand and gripping the banister with the other. Hayden’s footsteps reached the top of the stairs but I’d already cleared the bottom three steps in a single leap. I snatched up my discarded knickers and stashed them in my bra, then grabbed my keys. Hayden was getting closer—too close—causing me to fumble with the lock to the front door but I got it open on the second attempt and burst out into the sunlight without looking back.

By the time Hayden appeared at the gaping front door, still stark-naked, I was locked in the car with the engine running. A look of resigned acceptance replaced the frown that creased his handsome face and my ragged breath hitched painfully in my chest. Wearing nothing but a sad smile, he raised his hand to offer me a single wave then turned his back on me and calmly closed the door.

One tear fell into my lap, closely followed by another. Not even I could take that many hits in such quick succession without some kind of meltdown but I didn’t let anybody see me cry. Ever. No way did I want Hayden to see me crying, especially when it wasn’t even over him; he was just one more episode in the shitty life of Alice Taylor.

I wiped my eyes and slipped the car into first gear. Black smudges smeared the back of my hand, evidence that my camouflage was ruined but I didn’t have the strength to keep up the act anyway. Left with nowhere else to go, I eased away from the kerb and pointed Mum’s car towards home figuring I could use the journey time to psyche myself up for the next battle.

Chapter two

Sister

Trepidation grew with every metre that passed, wondering what sort of reception I’d get from Mum today. I’d managed to slip out of the house without seeing anyone first thing so I didn’t know which of her moods would meet my arrival. Unable to concentrate, I barely made it halfway home before I had to pull over or risk killing someone. I might be a cold-hearted bitch but I wasn’t a murderous one.

My hands trembled as I reached into my bag to grab my cigarettes and lighter. The flame was halfway to my mouth when I remembered I wasn’t in my nifty little convertible. No way could I get away with lighting up in mum’s car, not even with the windows down, so I pushed the car door open and set off walking down the street. I wasn’t in the mood for another lecture about smoking, but not because smoking kills.

No, Mum was more concerned about the ageing effects, the smell of stale tobacco and the fire risk to her beautiful things. She couldn’t give a toss about me. A fact she’d proved time and time again. I upped my pace to burn off the nervous energy flooding my senses. It took two cigarettes before I’d calmed down enough to get back behind the steering wheel.

Down to my last cigarette, I seized the excuse to further delay my arrival. At the next set of shops, I stopped off to buy more supplies, including another pack of my trusty nicotine gum and a pack of baby wipes. I took my time removing my smudged eyeliner but, with the task done, I couldn’t put off going home any longer.

Grand iron gates slowly opened to admit me and I peered down the long, sweeping driveway. From where I sat, it looked idyllic; impossible to see the monster of a building hidden by the screen of trees getting ready to shed their leaves over the manicured lawns. The house’s sheer size and grandeur never failed to intimidate me. I didn’t belong there: I knew it; Mum knew it; and I swear the house knew it too.

Never could I ever imagine a day when I would think of the place as home but if I had my way it wouldn’t be for much longer. I floored the accelerator, then pulled up in front of the house with a handbrake turn. I had a reputation to maintain, after all. A cursory glance up at the house told me the only person to witness my rebellion also happened to be my favourite person in the entire world.

Great. The only person that I didn’t want to upset, but at least I was assured of a warm welcome. Charlie’s head disappeared from behind the bay window of the playroom so I took a moment to clear my mind of the chaos. Seconds later, the little boy came charging out of the front door. He launched himself at me the moment I’d set foot outside out of the car.

‘Aunty Alice!’ came his excited shriek.

‘Hey, Charlie Bear,’ I said, catching his little body mid-flight after his leap from the third step. His sheer joy and happiness was contagious and it brought on my first genuine smile of the day, ‘it’s good to see you too.’

‘Oh.’ His huge olive-green eyes, so full of innocence, stared up at me from beneath furred brows and his smile slipped, ‘you have your blue eyes switched on.’

‘Does that matter?’ I asked, swallowing down the rock forming at the back of my throat. When I wasn’t hiding mine behind garish lenses, our eyes were one of the few things I had in common with my half-brother, except I couldn’t remember a time when mine had ever looked so clear. Not even at Charlie’s age if the few photos I’d managed to salvage were anything to go by.

‘I was going to ask you to play with me,’ he mumbled.

‘Well, go on then.’

Charlie blinked and the frown disappeared. ‘Can you play with me?’

‘Sure, I’d love to,’ I said brightly, ‘but I need to get changed first so give me five, yeah?’

Charlie’s expression took on a mischievous look and then contorted into one of total concentration. ‘One. Two. Three. Four. Five…time’s up.’

‘You little monkey.’ I tried to sound stern even though my grin matched his impish one, giving us something else in common. ‘That was great counting, Charlie, have you been practising?’

His eyes shone with pride. ‘I can say it in Spanish too. Do you want to hear?’

‘Spanish? No way!’

‘Yes way.’

‘Wow, that’s amazing. Even I can’t do that yet.’ Compared to the usual lies I spouted every day, this one was nothing. ‘Go on then, prove it, otherwise I won’t believe you.’

‘Uno. Dos. Tres.’ He hesitated with the next one and his eyebrows knitted together. I was on the verge of giving myself away and helping him out when the little tufts arched high on his forehead. ‘Cuatro. Cinco,’ he blurted, finishing with a flourish and beaming up at me.

‘Nice one,’ I said, ruffling his mop of white-blond hair. His was completely natural unlike mine which was best friends with peroxide. I lowered Charlie to the ground but he clung to my neck and latched his legs around me, refusing to put his feet down so I ended up hitching him higher. ‘So can you teach me, too?’ I asked, carrying him up the steps and into the house.

Charlie opened his mouth to answer but snapped it closed again, both of us falling silent as the sound of heels clicked across the parquet floor and drew closer.

‘Charles? Charles!’ called an agitated female voice, the volume bordering on a shout. Charlie flinched and stiffened in my arms. ‘Where have you got to now? You know I don’t have time for this.’

‘We’re here,’ I called out, wanting to end his torment more than I wanted to avoid our mother.

‘Alice?’ came her reply. It was amazing how she could say my name with such contempt.

I darted a glance towards the stairs. Maybe I should have put Charlie down and made a run for it, I’d had the chance. The sinking feeling in my stomach only grew worse and threatened to gouge an escape tunnel into the floor, but it was too late now. A beautiful woman appeared from around the staircase, dressed head to toe in pale gold, complete with matching shoes.

‘What are you doing here, Alice?’ Mum came to a stop inside the open doorway. The colour of her gown brought out the highlights in her flawless hair, straightened and styled to perfection in a chic pleat, with not a single strand daring to break rank. She undid all of her expensive beautifying when she sneered at me. ‘Shouldn’t you be at college or have you been kicked out of this one now, too?’

Golly gee, thanks for the vote of confidence.

‘No, I left at the end of last term? Remember?’ Nope, not even a flicker of comprehension dawned in her piercing eyes. Silly me. Of course she didn’t remember, since that would require paying attention to anything I had to say.

‘Oh.’ Her shoulders drooped as she let out an exasperated sigh. ‘What did you do this time?’

‘I wasn’t expelled, Mu—Michelle.’

She sucked in a sharp intake of breath and narrowed her eyes to slits at my near blunder in front of Charlie. ‘Really. So what happened? Was the work too hard for you or did you realise you couldn’t cheat your way to more qualifications?’

Neither actually.

I shrugged, not wanting to risk opening my mouth and telling her to fuck off. College was easy enough and I had no reason or desire to cheat, but Mum would only call me a liar. She’d refused to believe I could achieve something on merit so I’d finally given up trying to prove I had a brain in my head.

At least Mum thinking the worst of me meant that I wasn’t dragged to all of her swanky soirees like some prize poodle. I sullied her reputation simply by sharing the same living space as her. To be honest, I wouldn’t have put it past her to lock me away in a broom cupboard, Harry Potter style, so I made sure I stayed in my room whenever she entertained at home.

Besides, if she had me pegged as some kind of loser then she wouldn’t think of charging me rent any time soon. My wages weren’t great but everything I earned went straight into my savings account. Why spend my own money when I didn’t have to, right?

‘Actually, Alice, since you’re home I need you to look after Charles.’

‘Pardon?’ I’d been so busy trying to calculate how much I had saved up for my freedom fund, I’d missed her total change in tack. She’d even wiped away the sneer. I replayed her last words and scrambled to pick up the loose thread. ‘I mean, how long are you away for?’

‘Only until tomorrow,’ she said, waving her hand in the air and then examining her nails. ‘I’m sure even you can manage that.’

Don’t bite.

‘When tomorrow? I have…’ I almost blurted out the word ‘work’ but checked myself at the last second. ‘Plans.’

‘Then I suggest you change them,’ she said, dropping the pretence of asking nicely and hitting me full-on with her best glare.

Two could play at that game, and I’d learned direct from the master thanks to years of first-hand experience. ‘Why should I?’ I planted my feet and squared up to her, matching her glare for glare, but then gentle fingers stroked my cheek.

Charlie’s soft touch reminded me of his presence and here I was drawing battle lines with his mum, potentially forcing him to choose sides. I couldn’t lose him too so I dropped my gaze to the floor and handed Mum the victory. I could see her relief but then her eyes turned sharp again as her scheming mind got to work. Within seconds, her scowl transformed into something else I couldn’t quite read, but whatever it was made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

‘You’d like to spend the day with Aunty Alice, wouldn’t you, Charles?’ she asked, adopting her ‘best friend’ tone even as she deceived him with the whole ‘Aunty’ bullshit.

Charlie nodded so hard his entire body bounced up and down in my arms and I had to adjust my grip or risk dropping him.

‘Daddy’s been invited to step in as guest of honour at the annual gala in London tonight,’ continued Mum in her sickly-sweet sing-song voice as she pretended to be talking to Charlie. ‘Daddy is very excited, and it will do wonders for his career too, so he couldn’t possibly turn down such a prestigious invitation, could he, Charles?’

Charlie obediently shook his head. Like the poor kid had a clue what ‘prestigious’ meant.

‘No, that’s right,’ Mum said. ‘It would be terribly rude of Daddy not to go, wouldn’t it Charles?

Charlie nodded on cue, clearly loving the attention and blissfully unaware that he was being used as a pawn in her passive-aggressive game. ‘Yes, Mummy.’

Mum rewarded him with a smile, and not the fake one she occasionally blessed me with either: this one made her look even younger than her thirty-five years so that we really did look more like sisters than mother and daughter, adding further credence to her lie. The regular Botox injections helped too, though they did nothing for me except help blank my emotions.

It was no wonder people genuinely believed her when she introduced me as her wayward younger sister and acted like she was some kind of saint. I’d once considered telling everyone the truth but it would have come down to her word against mine. Nobody would have believed me. I’d just be the nasty little girl trying to stir up trouble for her wonderful big sister out of spite or jealousy.

‘Fine,’ I huffed. It wouldn’t be too bad if I only had to swap my lunch shift with one of the other girls and still get in for the evening shift. ‘What time will you to be back?’

‘Oh I’ve no idea,’ she said smugly, throwing in a laugh too. ‘Perhaps you ought to clear your diary for the entire day.’

‘What? It’s not that simple. I can’t just—’

‘Are you going to let Charles down now, too?’

Too?

Wow, she was really working me over today. It wasn’t worth wasting my breath to argue with her when she was in this mood. She’d only throw every past misdemeanour at me, holding onto them tighter in a pathetic attempt to maintain some control over me. Like that had ever worked.

‘No, I said I’d do it.’ The irony was that I’d have agreed right away if she’d asked me nicely instead of manipulating me. I could think of far worse things than hanging out with Charlie for a couple of days, even though it meant calling in some major favours at work. Time spent with Charlie gave me a much-needed break from keeping up the mean girl act; a holiday of sorts where I wouldn’t have to keep my defences on red alert the whole time.

‘I should hope so too.’ Mum avoided meeting my eye and dipped her head to brush an imaginary speck of dust from her dress but her hairline lifted to betray her smirk. A thank you would have been nicer. ‘It’s the least you can do really, considering everything Derek has done for you?’

Ah yes. Derek, the almighty brother-in-law who was just as in the dark as Charlie about my heritage. I’d always wondered if he would have treated me differently or perhaps not let me get away with quite as much these past few years had he known he was my step-father? Alas, I’d never know. It was one of life’s unanswered conundrums that would most likely haunt me forever.

‘So what time are you leaving?’ I asked, trying not to sound too desperate to get away from her to regroup. Why did every conversation with her have to leave me feeling even more worthless than I’d started out?

‘Derek has sent a car for me.’ Mum flipped her wrist over to check her ridiculously expensive watch. ‘It should be here in ten minutes.’

‘Ten minutes?’ My arms tightened involuntarily around Charlie. If I got any more tense I was in danger of snapping my collar bone. ‘What would you have done with Charlie if I hadn’t come home in time?’

‘Oh I do wish you wouldn’t call him that, Alice. His name is Charles,’ she said, completely avoiding the question. ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and finish packing. Charles, you be a good boy for Aunty Alice, won’t you?’

Aunty Alice, my arse.

‘Yes, Mummy.’

‘Good boy. Of course you will.’ She leaned in to plant a kiss on the top of his head then wandered back the way she’d come without saying another word to me. No instructions, no goodbye, nothing. The woman was unbelievable.

‘It’s just you and me then, Charlie Bear?’ I said, adding false cheer to my slightly raised voice, but if Mum heard me using the pet name then she didn’t rise to the bait. ‘What shall we do first?’

‘A picnic,’ he yelled, reaching for my face until we were nose to nose. ‘Please, please, please!’

I managed a laugh. ‘OK, you’re on—’

‘Hooray!’

‘But do you remember me saying I needed to get changed?’

‘Yes.’ His bony little shoulders slumped, along with his bottom lip.

‘Why don’t you grab your colouring book and some crayons and bring them up to my room?’

That perked him up. ‘Your room?’

‘Yeah, sure.’

‘Can I—’ He stopped speaking and darted a glance to the door, then leaned in close to my ear, lowering his voice to a whisper. ‘Can I look at your pictures instead?’

‘OK, Charlie,’ I whispered back. ‘But it has to stay our secret.’

‘Yay.’ He grinned and threw his arms around my neck again, squeezing me so tight I could barely draw breath but I didn’t mind.

I wordlessly hugged him back and closed my eyes against the sudden burning sensation that threatened to make them water. A comfortable peace settled around us, broken only by the sound of a suitcase being wheeled over a stone floor.

Not wanting a repeat performance, I took off for the stairs with Charlie still clinging onto my neck. Shoulders burning, my arms ached with the weight of him but I was just as incapable of putting him down as he seemed to be incapable of letting go. His grip relaxed the moment we reached my bedroom, astute kid, so I tossed him onto my bed and tickled him until he begged me to stop.

The break in sound revealed the low purr of an engine outside. Charlie hopped off the bed then ran over to the French windows that led out to my balcony. He looked longingly through the glass so I opened the doors wide and welcomed the gust of wind whipping around me, strong enough to lift my matted tangle of hair off my neck.

Charlie dived straight out onto the balcony and hopped up and down, unable to see over the top of the wall. Whether it was excitement at seeing the car or wanting to see Mum off, I wasn’t sure. Car doors clicked shut below and spurred me into action. I followed him out and picked him up again so he could wave furiously at the black limo headed for the main gate until it was far out of sight, taking our mother with it.

Satisfied the car had gone, Charlie wriggled in my arms to get down again so I set him on his feet and watched him wander back into my room. Unexpectedly alone, I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh air, letting it fill my lungs. My favourite place in the whole house, the balcony provided the perfect escape from the austere confines of my ‘family’ home and served as a lookout point.

The outdoor space also gave me somewhere handy to smoke. Yet another one of my grand plans of triggering mum’s maternal instincts to backfire on me, and now I could add my education to the list of sacrifices and failed attempts to draw out my errant mother.

‘Can I see your pictures now?’

‘Hmm?’ I dragged myself back to the present and forced my eyes open to look down at the little boy who had slipped his hand around mine. ‘Oh yeah, sure thing.’

‘Excellent!’ Charlie led me into my room and over to my dresser, then let go of my hand. He knew the drill all too well. His excitement grew with each stage, making it harder and harder for him to stand still.

I shot him a wink and climbed onto my tiptoes to retrieve the miniature key from the back of my mirror, then doubled back to my bed with my little shadow in tow. ‘Hop up onto the bed then.’ I didn’t need to tell him twice but it took him two goes to get up, needing a bit of a boost from me as I got down onto my hands and knees on the floor.

Charlie peered over the edge, grinning down at me as he watched me reach under the bed to drag my old school trunk out. His eyes grew wider still when I opened my hand and offered him the key.

‘Do you want to do the honours, Charlie Bear?’

‘Can I? Can I really?’ Already flat on his belly, he instantly spun around and thrust himself over the edge, feet first, to connect with the side of my head, eliciting my sharp gasp before I could stop it from escaping. Charlie slithered down to the floor and crouched down beside me. His bottom lip wobbled. ‘I’m sorry, Aunty Alice.’

‘Hey, it’s OK,’ I said, doing my best to ignore the pain lancing the side of my face. ‘It was an accident; I know you didn’t do it on purpose.’

‘Really?’

‘Sure!’ I pasted a smile on my face to reassure him, but I needed to get out of there before my eyes started leaking. It killed me not being able to reach up and rub my cheek better, but it would only upset him even more. ‘Here you go.’ I placed the key in his clammy little palm, then pushed up to standing. ‘You get started whilst I jump in the shower.’

The lock clicked open before I’d even made it to the bathroom door, swiftly followed by the tell-tale creak of the lid opening. I opened my mouth to remind him to be careful but quickly closed it again. For whatever reason unknown to me, Charlie loved my drawings and treated them like priceless artefacts but it was nice to be appreciated by somebody.

I pulled the bathroom door to behind me, leaving it ajar, then pressed my cool hand against my burning skin. With my chewing gum still in my bag on the bed, I had to raid the emergency nicotine supplies I kept hidden in a toiletry bag in my bathroom. A poor substitute for the real thing, but I could indulge in as many cigarettes as I wanted once Charlie was tucked up in bed.

For now the gum would have to do so I popped two of the white tablets into my mouths and chewed, wincing at the movement. I took out my contacts before jumping under the blistering shower. Five minutes later, I was scrubbed free of makeup—along with all traces of Hayden—and as ready as I’d ever be to brave the world again.

Charlie had stayed exactly where I’d left him, only he was now surrounded by sheets of sketch paper: drawings of hills, old cotton mills, and lots of pictures of him. He was so engrossed he didn’t notice me pottering around and getting dressed, so I squatted down beside him to see which drawing had held his attention for so long.

Big mistake.

‘I like this one best,’ he said, holding up the pencil sketch of me and Mum.

‘Thanks.’ I wedged my hands behind my knees, trapping them against my calves to stop me from snatching the picture out of his fingers.

‘It’s you and Mummy, isn’t it? When you were little?’

‘It sure is.’ I’d copied it from a photograph I’d found being used to prop up the wonky leg of our old table. Folded into a small square and badly damaged, it fell apart soon after I’d finished drawing my own copy.

‘Do you have any other sisters? Or brothers?’ he asked. ‘Or is it just Mummy?’

White lies like not knowing any Spanish were one thing but I couldn’t lie to him about the big stuff. Since it wasn’t my place to tell him the truth, it left me stuck in an awkward limbo. I must have made some kind of weird sound because Charlie turned his head to look at me.

‘Are you OK, Aunty Alice?’

‘Me? Yeah, of course I am!’

‘But you’re crying?’

I am?

‘No, no, I’m not crying.’ I freed a hand from my behind my knees and wiped my fingertips across my cheek. Sure enough, they came away wet. ‘Oh. I er… I got some shampoo in my eye when I was in the shower. It made my eyes sting, you know what that’s like.’

‘Does it hurt when you turn your blue eyes off?’ he asked, far too observant.

‘No, not at all.’

‘Is everything blue when you look through them?’

‘No. It’s just normal.’

‘I like you with green ones better.’

‘So do I,’ I admitted. Unfortunately, Charlie and I were in the minority. The fact he’d already picked up on the two different sides of me and made the connection with the eye colour left me wanting another shower. How much longer did I have before Charlie learned the truth of what I did?

‘Why don’t you keep the green ones switched on then?’

Good question.

Too good.

‘I um…’ While I might despise the girl with the blue eyes, she was strong and fearless. She got noticed, unlike the real me. The guys couldn’t get enough of her and no one dared to confront her—except for Virginia and her posse—so she was the perfect front to hide the shy, frightened green-eyed girl behind.

Charlie waited, staring up into my eyes. Would he understand that I only behaved that way to protect myself from any more hurt? Would he still love me and stick around or would he too disown me? Without him to keep me grounded, the green-eyed girl would surely be gone for ever.

A bead of sweat broke out on my forehead and trickled down over my bruised cheek before narrowly missing the chalk picture at my feet. Conversely, my mouth ran dry with the rocks in my throat creating an effective dam. ‘Didn’t you say something about wanting a picnic?’

‘Yeah!’ Charlie yelled, jumping to his feet. The now discarded pictures left him stranded in his own island.

‘Hold your horses,’ I croaked. ‘Just give me a second to clear these away and we’ll get going, OK?’ I purposely gathered up the drawings so that the one of me and Mum lay at the bottom where neither of us could see it any more.

Chapter three

Climb

By the time Charlie and I had put the pictures away and prepared the food, the sun glowed high in the sky. Indian summers were great but winter couldn’t be far off, which meant rain. Lots of it. My days of driving around with the top down were numbered, so I grabbed Charlie’s car seat out of Mum’s car and fitted it into the rear seat of mine. Despite being forced to travel in a bright-pink car, he loved my car almost as much as I did.

Mental cobwebs didn’t stand a chance as we drove to the park with the wind rushing through our hair. I probably resembled a windswept poodle, thanks to my still damp hair, but it wasn’t like I had plans to see anyone. This green-eyed girl was getting a rare outing, liberated by the knowledge everybody I knew was either at college or work. Even if they weren’t, it was unlikely that they’d be hanging around a park in the middle of the day.

Today, the only person I needed to impress was Charlie and he was grinning broadly whenever I checked on him in my mirror. He waved to every person and animal we passed, including a squirrel that dashed across the road and very nearly got squished. I’d never been so relieved to see a disease-ridden rodent make it across the road alive and well.

Charlie’s babbling lasted for the entire ten-minute journey and he was still buzzing when we pulled into the car park. The moment I released him from his harness, he dived out of the car and hopped from one foot to the other. Due to the roar of the wind, I hadn’t caught half of what he’d said on the way and now had a bad feeling that I’d agreed to something I shouldn’t have.

In an attempt to calm his giddy excitement, I popped the boot open, then loaded him up with the picnic blanket and his ball, but it only seemed to crank him up even more. My rucksack weighed a ton when I dragged it over my shoulder. Spare clothes, wipes, mini first aid kit, food… the list was endless. Travelling light with a pre-schooler had to be a myth; either that or I was doing it wrong.

The latter probably, since everything I did was wrong according to Mum. I covered up my shudder by reaching for Charlie’s hand. ‘Ready then?’

‘Yeah!’ After a bit of juggling and rearranging of his cargo, he slipped his hand inside mine and tugged me away from the car. A boy on a mission, he led me over the bridge with a brook bubbling beneath.

‘Where are you taking me, Charlie?’

‘Nearly there, Aunty Alice,’ he said, dragging me deeper into the heart of the park.

‘OK, if you say so.’

He finally came to a stop at the foot of a giant oak tree with several of its leaves already turning from green to brown. ‘This one,’ he declared.

This one?

‘What do you mean, Charlie Bear?’ I peered up into the branches to see if he was pointing at something specific, a carving or a bird maybe, but nothing jumped out at me. ‘Am I supposed to be looking for something?’

‘Silly, Aunty Alice.’ He giggled and let go of my hand to point at the tree trunk. ‘This is the tree you agreed to climb.’

‘I did no such th—’Ah. Come to think of it, I did recall something to do with a tree. A groan built in the back of my throat but I managed to hold it in. ‘I did, didn’t I?’

Charlie nodded so hard I feared he’d shake something loose. His eyes sparkled as he looked from me to the tree and back again.

Shit.

‘That’s fine. No problem at all.’ Somehow I managed to sound confident so I stared up at the tree to hide my cringe from him. When I had my expression back under control, I looked down at Charlie. With a bit of luck, I’d be able to distract him with something else so he’d forget. ‘I just thought we could play football first though. You know, work up an appetite for lunch?’

Damn it, he was already shaking his head. ‘You promised we could do this first.’ His bottom lip poked out and the light in his eyes dimmed.

‘Um…OK.’ Talk about being a soft touch.

‘You’ll do it?’ he asked, looking up at me with wide-eyed awe.

‘I said I would, didn’t I?’ My voice wavered only slightly. ‘A promise is a promise, Charlie Bear.’ Just because I’d been crapped on my entire life didn’t mean I was about to do the same to Charlie—anybody else, no sweat—but not him. I knew exactly how much it hurt when the people you cared about kept breaking their promise.

Charlie threw his arms around my legs in a bear hug worthy of his nickname. ‘You’re the best aunty ever.’ The light in his eyes returned to full beam as he grinned up at me and scuppered my last shred of my resistance. Along with my common sense.

‘Let’s set up base camp over there.’ I pointed to a patch of grass bathed in dappled sunlight cast by the monster tree. The mere thought of climbing it gave me palpitations. No matter how many times I looked away, my gaze kept getting drawn back to the tree. There had to be some kind of optical illusion at play because the damn thing looked even bigger when you weren’t stood directly beneath it.

Not good.

Charlie pottered around setting up the picnic blanket, but the wind caught it and blew it a few metres away. He giggled and chased after it, then dragged it back. This time I weighed it down with the rucksack, full of the food that I no longer had an appetite to eat, and left him to it. ‘All done!’ he declared proudly.

I tore my gaze off the gazillion branches to see that he’d laid out the plastic cups and plates. ‘Wow, that looks great.’

Charlie didn’t even respond. He just sat stiff-backed on the blanket with his legs crossed and his hands in his lap as though he didn’t dare give me any reason to change my mind. His lips formed a perfect line, not smiling but not sad either as he waited and watched me with big round eyes full of expectation.

No pressure then, Alice.

I turned around to examine the tree again from afar. Determined to climb the giant tree even if it was the last thing I ever did—which it very well could be, based on my previous tree-climbing form—I tried to pick out the best route…or any route at all so long as I survived without too many broken bones.

On that cheery thought I trotted over to my rucksack and casually slipped my phone into my bra just in case of an emergency—like getting stuck up a tree—then stalked across the grass to stand at the foot of the tree. Up close its trunk was so big I couldn’t even wrap my arms around it. Out of earshot and with my back to Charlie, I let out the shaky breath I’d been holding and wiped my clammy hands over my skirt.

Shit…

Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t set out to flash everybody I met. Definitely not old men out walking their dogs and prone to heart attacks when I had enough to worry about already. Admittedly, I wasn’t renowned for being modest since it was all part of my act but that was when I was in character. Christ, I didn’t even have my thick tights on. Anybody walking by would be able to see straight up and get an eyeful of my arse.

I darted a glance at Charlie but his expression told me it was too late to pull out now and disappointing him wasn’t an option. Resigned, I lifted my leg and planted my foot on a knot sticking out of the tree just above knee height then launched myself upwards to grab the lowest branch. Charlie giggled, unable to contain his glee.

Here goes then.

Another knot stuck out half way around the other side of the trunk that I could reach at a stretch to use as my next boost. Unfortunately, it left me spread-eagled against the rough bark like I was some fashionably-dressed tree hugger but with one hard push, I sprang upward and onto the first branch. It creaked ominously and sent a burst of adrenaline into my legs.

I scrambled up to the next level where I was able to stand with a foot on two separate, sturdier-looking, branches set at hip distance apart. So far so good but the next level proved trickier. Too far for me to step onto, I reached above my head to grab the over-hanging branch, then stretched and hoisted my leg over a different branch set at shoulder height. Memories of a similar position came alive inside my head and I had to stifle a giggle.

All those years of ballet lessons with my leg up on the bar had finally come in handy. What would the old battle-axe say if she could see me now? At last I could put my gymnastics skills to good use too. I combined the two and found I could jump and spring while maintaining my balance and posture. And there was me thinking the whole ballet and gymnastics thing had been nothing more than a ruse; a way for mum to get me out of the house for hours at a time so she could spend time wheedling her way into Derek’s life.

My progress may have been slow but it was steady. I risked a peek down to check on Charlie and he waved and grinned back at me, looking as delighted as I felt that I was actually doing it. When I looked back up again to plan my next move, my stomach lurched. A jogger had appeared on the path ahead, an older guy in his thirties maybe, and he was headed straight for us. The tree blocked my view but the sound of his footsteps grew louder.

I assessed the distance I’d have to jump to get back to ground to protect Charlie but it was too far. Before I could even remind Charlie about stranger-danger, the jogger’s gait slowed almost to a stop, presumably wondering what a young boy was doing in the park on his own. Sure enough, the guy spoke and left me no choice but to give myself away.

‘He’s with me,’ I said, going for my fiercest tone.

The jogger’s head jerked back as he looked up, catching me in my most exposed position yet. Oh well, at least my knickers are pretty. His eyes widened but I didn’t dare let go of the branch to wave so I dipped into character and blew him a kiss. Stunned, his feet tangled together but he managed to right himself before he crashed to the ground. He regained his balance and jogged away, muttering something unintelligible and looking a lot warmer in the cheeks than when he’d first appeared.

Giggles bubbled deep inside my belly, building in both power and volume until they came bursting out of me. Rich and free, the rare sound was loud enough to reach the jogger’s ears as well as scare the blackbird that had also been checking me out from the tree opposite. Several feet below, I heard Charlie’s laughter join mine. The two sounds entwined to become one and imprinted itself on my heart.

Driven on by a rush of energy, the next few levels proved easy. My confidence soared as I leaped from one branch to the next and I soon found myself halfway up the tree. Encouraged by the promise of a spectacular view, I climbed higher and higher until the branches thinned nearer the top. The scene that greeted me made my efforts more than worthwhile.

Hovering miles above me stretched a sky of azure blue dotted with white balls of cotton wool. Below lay a carpet of green grass broken only by the shrubs and the trees which reached toward the sky as if they too thought they could touch it. Full of natural beauty, the sheer vibrancy of colour and life brought on a bout of homesickness that strangled me and left me breathless. Enraptured by the sunlight skimming across the landscape, I drank the sight in and let the tranquillity neutralise the toxic poison running through my veins.

If only I could capture the feeling: to trap it inside a jar to be opened on those darker days when all hope was lost. Today was not that day—not any more—my soul was suddenly filled with so much joy I felt lighter than air. If I were to let go of the branch I would surely defy gravity and float to the ground like a sycamore leaf caught on a lilting autumn breeze.

I made a mental note of everything: from the exact shade and shape of the leaves to the way the sunlight hit the acorns; from the texture of the clouds to the lift of a bird’s feathers as it sailed the air currents with its song filling the air; even the earthen, damp smell of the tree itself combined with the scent of flowers left its mark on me. The antidote to my bleak sense of hopelessness, I yearned to recreate the scene on paper, except I hadn’t brought my pencils or sketch paper.

I did have my phone though.

Together with my own memory, the camera and video features would hopefully give me enough raw footage to do the drawing justice. I took out my phone, warmed by my skin, and thought of nothing but capturing the shots I needed, knowing full well that I would kick myself if I missed anything. The camera had a panorama feature ideal for capturing the view so I set it up then turned slowly in a circle.

I watched the images stitch together on the screen until a massive branch got in the way to spoil it. Where was a chainsaw when I needed one? Never mind, I wasn’t about to be defeated by a bunch of stupid leaves so I made do with cursing under my breath and climbed up another level. The angle wasn’t right now though so I had to twist and stretch in a weird position to get the same shot as before.

Frenzied fluttering in my ribs told me it was going to be worth an aching back though. At the sound of the final shutter, I brought my phone up close but sunlight hit the screen and turned it into a mirror. All I could see was my own reflection staring back at me so I used my other hand to shield the phone and brought it right up to my eyes.

‘You’re going to absolutely love this photo, Charlie Bear,’ I called out, triumphant at having captured the money shot. ‘I can’t wait to show it to you.’

No reply.

‘Charlie?’ I strained to hear him over the sounds of birdsong and the rustle of leaves, but there was nothing. I called him again, louder than before, trying not to over-react.

‘Yes, Aunty Alice?’ he called back.

Phew!

I turned in the direction of his voice and looked down to see if I could spot him through the foliage. ‘Are you O—’ A feeble squeal leaped out of my mouth and I jammed my eyes shut to block out the bird’s-eye view of the ground a hell of a long way below. The instant I closed my eyes, my balance deserted me. I swayed and pitched forwards, realising too late that I wasn’t holding onto anything any more.

Out of sheer panic, I struck out my hands and accidentally sent my phone went flying to God-knows-where. When my flailing arms found nothing to latch onto, my entire body jerked as gravity took hold of me and tugged me off my precarious ledge. As loud as my laughter had been before, it had nothing on the scream that ripped out my chest and shredded the back of my throat.

My scream eventually trailed off and left me with nothing but deafening roar of blood rushing through my ears. Just as I’d resigned myself to the worst, Charlie’s scream picked up where mine had left off. I fought against the urge to close my eyes again and watched him come to a skidding halt below me. He stared up at me with eyes wide with terror. Mine probably didn’t look any different. If I didn’t do something soon, I was going to land in a crumpled heap right next to his feet and I couldn’t do that to him.

Think, Alice. Think!

My only hope was to break my fall, but how? A forked branch was coming up fast but it was just out of reach. Unless… yes, it had to be worth a go. I’d been able to make the leap on the uneven bars to win first place at countless gymnastics competitions so I could damn well do it again now when it actually mattered. For the first time ever, I even had a member of my family there to watch my performance. Of course there was no sprung floor or deep pit filled with foam blocks if I missed the catch, but it was either this or nothing so I opened out into a full stretch and lunged.

Rough bark grazed my fingers but the connection was good so I gripped hard and braced myself for the jarring pain in my shoulders. Nothing in this world could have prepared me for the shearing agony. Either my arms had been ripped off or there really was molten lava bubbling beneath my skin. Unwilling to cry out with Charlie already sobbing somewhere beneath me, I sank my teeth into my bottom lip.

Spurred on my success, I arched my back and forced my body into an arc to maximise the swing. Sharp splinters dug themselves deep into my hands every time I adjusted my grip but I used the momentum to launch my legs upwards. Since I couldn’t do a nifty double somersault to dismount without shattering the bones in my legs, I kept swinging, all out of ideas having already surpassed myself.

Luckily, my survival instinct kicked in and I twisted my body to face the trunk. I wrapped my legs tightly around the branch, then did the same with my arms. Hugging a porcupine would have been more comfortable. Too many things hurt all at once for the waning adrenaline to cope with but anything had to be better than lying broken on the grass. All I had to do now was hang on long enough to figure out the next part and hope my end of the branch didn’t snap.

First things first, I needed to reassure Charlie. I tipped my head back and found him sat on the grass beneath the hulking great shadow of the tree. He rocked back and forth, hugging his knees as his sobs wracked his little body. The poor boy looked terrorised and I couldn’t even give him the cuddle he deserved.

‘Hey, it’s OK, Charlie Bear,’ I called down to him but instead of the soothing sound I’d aimed for, my voice came out hoarse and gravelly. I coughed to clear my throat. ‘Look at me, I’m all right. See?’ His big eyes stared up at me so I offered him a topsy-turvy smile before pulling a silly face. The hint of a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. ‘I’m really sorry for scaring you, Charlie.’

‘And what about me?’ came a deep, male voice from somewhere nearby. ‘Are you sorry for scaring me too?’

Chapter four

Caught

My squawk would have made any parrot proud and I jumped so fiercely I almost let go of my lifeline. Heart pumping, I hugged the branch even tighter, then swivelled my head in the direction of the voice.

‘Sc—scaring you?’ I stammered.

‘Yeah.’ The hottest guy I’d seen in weeks—months maybe—stepped into view and the raging fire in my cheeks notched up another billion degrees.

Typical.

I had no contacts in, no make-up on, my hair was a frizzy state, my bum was on show for the whole world to see and, for the piéce de resistance, I also happened to be hanging upside-down from a tree.

‘Then I guess we’re even.’

‘Huh? How d’you figure that one out?’ He came to a standstill beside Charlie and locked eyes with me.

Gah, I couldn’t hold my glare, plus I was light-headed from all the blood rushing to my head. ‘You shouldn’t go sneaking up on people like that.’ I tried to sound put out but failed dismally. ‘I nearly fell.’

‘What? Again?’ He winced. ‘I’m not sure my ears could take another rendition.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. I shall try to fall out of trees with less noise in future.’ I threw in a pout, not that the super-hot guy on the receiving end would be able to see it on account of me staring pointedly at the branch to hide my red face.

‘OK cool, thanks, that’d be great.’ I didn’t need to see his face to know he was smiling and the knowledge did strange things to my tummy. It did even stranger things to my pulse.

‘Happy to oblige,’ I said dryly.

‘You pack one hell of a scream, you know. It could have been lifted straight off a horror movie.’

‘What’s a horror movie?’ Charlie asked.

‘It’s a scary film for grown-ups,’ I replied, shutting down that line of questioning before Charlie latched onto it, then directed my next words at the hunk standing next to him. ‘So are you just going to stand there gawking at me all day or have you actually come over here to help?’

‘Well, it’s not exactly something you see every day, you know…a human spider monkey.’

‘And there was me hoping I was more koala bear than—what did you call it again—oh yeah, human spider monkey? Isn’t that some ugly-looking thing off Ben10?’

‘Er…pass?’ The guy looked back at me blankly but Charlie got the reference and grinned, earning me some more ‘cool aunty’ points. ‘And for your information, I’ve been trying to work out how you can get down.’

‘Great, I’m all ears.’

‘Would they be spider monkey ears or koala ones?’

‘Hmph.’ I refused to dignify his dumb question with an answer.

‘OK, fine. The short answer is that you’re going to have to jump.’ His nonchalance fooled me so it took the length of a heartbeat before his idea of a solution sunk in.

‘I’m what?’ I winced as my voice rose to a shriek, then tipped my head back again to shoot daggers at him with my eyes. ‘Please tell me you’re kidding.’

‘Sadly no, I can’t see any other way.’

‘I…’ The blood drained from my face, which was impressive considering my position. ‘I can’t,’ I whispered.

‘Pardon?’

‘I said, “I can’t”.’

‘Ah. If it helps, you’re not all that high up.’

‘Nope, doesn’t help in the slightest.’ The opposite in fact and I wasn’t sure how much more my heart could take. Nor the rest of my body.

‘Oh, I see.’ He fell silent and for one dreadful moment, I thought he might leave. ‘My name’s Zac,’ he said eventually but something about his voice had changed. He’d adopted more of a soothing tone, the sort that was good for dealing with frightened animals and kids.

‘Golly gee, that’s swell, Zac.’ Not only did I look like a freaking idiot, he—Zac, the gorgeous hunk—had resorted to treating me like an idiot as well. ‘Please forgive me if I pass on the introductions; I have rather more pressing matters to attend to.’

‘I’m a pool attendant, trained first aider, and also a volunteer lifeguard.’

‘Bully for you. What do you want? A pat on the back? I’m afraid I’m a little indisposed right now.’

‘Fair enough. I just thought you might like to know me a bit better since you’re going to have to put your trust in me.’

‘Yeah right…’ I decided to toss his own line back at him and his absurd idea. ‘How d’you figure that one out?’

‘Well, if you can’t jump…’ He paused, presumably to give me the chance to contradict him and tell him I would jump after all. I didn’t. ‘Then you’re just going to have to let go.’

‘Let go?’ A mangled laugh worked its way past my lips. I tipped my head upside-down again and saw the serious expression on his face and my laugh became more of a choke. ‘Were you still standing in the “cute” line when brains were being handed out?’

He grinned. ‘You think I’m cute?’

‘I think you’re insane.’

‘Quite possibly…’ Zac shrugged. ‘It’s your call.’

‘No chance.’

‘Fine. How much longer do you think can you hang on?’ he asked.

‘Um…’ I couldn’t deny that I was tiring fast. Twinges were pinging through my limbs, warning me cramp would set in soon and my fork of the branch had been creaking ominously.

‘That branch doesn’t look too good either,’ he said, confirming my fears.

‘I’m not sure,’ I said, mindful of Charlie hanging on to every word.

‘That’s what I figured. So how about it?’

‘You’re absolutely sure there’s no other way?’ OK, so I was clutching at straws as well as branches.

‘Well there is, but not soon enough.’ His words were emphasised by another suspicious creak.

‘I’m heavier than I look.’

‘I’m sure I’ll survive.’

I wracked my brain for another excuse but nothing came. ‘Alice…’ I blurted. ‘My name is Alice.’ It was the about closest I could get to admitting I was scared without actually coming out and saying it. My pulse stuttered as if it were laughing at me. It knew as well as I did that I was so far beyond scared, I was working on a whole new level of fear that didn’t even have a label yet. Terrified out of my wits was closer.

‘Pleased to make your acquaintance, Alice.’ Zac took a step toward me and I lost sight of him. ‘Ready when you are,’ he said from directly beneath me, where he was no doubt getting an eyeful of my knickers.

I lowered my voice, not wanting Charlie to hear me. ‘Seriously, Zac, I don’t think I can—’

‘Yes you can,’ he said, cutting me off.

‘But—’

‘Listen, you’ve already done the hard part and if you can do all those fancy acrobatics then you can do this, no sweat.’

Unable to share his confidence, I simply had to face facts. One way or another, I was going to fall so it was more a case of fall now and hope Zac caught me, or fall later and hope I didn’t break anything when I hit the dirt. Neither option appealed but the one with the hot guy had the distinct advantage.

‘You’d better not be messing me about or I will hunt you down and I will make your life a living hell. Capiche?’ I added with extra fierceness to leave Zac in no uncertain terms of his imminent future if he were to screw up. Except he laughed.

Oh man, his rippling laughter had the same effect as his smile. Times an hundred—no—a million. Electricity zipped along my veins with the force of a lightning bolt and I feared not only for the branch but the whole damn tree. I’d seen pictures of trees destroyed in a thunderstorm and this mighty oak didn’t stand a chance.

‘I capiche, Alice,’ he said once he’d stopped laughing at me. ‘Now get on with it so I can finally prove how big and strong I am, because I’ve gotta say, you’re hurting my pride here.’

Now it was my turn to laugh. Carefully.

‘Plus there’s a little guy down here who looks like he really needs you,’ continued Zac.

The thought of Charlie sobered me up all right. I nodded and sucked in a deep breath, then puffed out my cheeks before exhaling sharply. ‘OK.’

‘Relax, I’m right here.’ Zac practically cooed at me but it worked. His tone released enough of the paralysing tension to let me untangle my aching limbs.

‘Three. Two. One…’ I clamped my eyes tight shut and…nothing.

‘You can do it.’ The sincerity in his voice wrapped itself around me like a comfort blanket and lulled me into relaxing my vice-like grip even further. ‘Just let go, I promise I will catch you.’

I believed him.

In what amounted to a few minutes at most, Zac had achieved what few other people could ever hope for and had won my trust. Too shocked by the revelation, I forgot all about clinging onto the branch. My grip faltered for no more than a split second before my reflexes kicked in to override my brain but a split second was all it took for gravity to lynch me.

Again.

My stomach fled and abandoned me. It took refuge in the tree so that I was left with nothing but an empty, hollow feeling in my gut as I fell for what felt like an eternity. More than long enough to convince myself I was indeed the most stupid idiot that ever lived for putting my trust in a stranger. My inner berating got cut short when two strong arms caught me and broke my fall.

In reality I knew I could only have been falling for a second, two at most, but it proved ample time for panic to set in. The scream I’d been trying to stifle mutated into a single sob and burst free of my tightly pressed lips. Desperate for something to latch onto, I locked my arms around Zac’s neck and buried my head into his chest.

‘It’s OK, Alice. I’ve got you.’ Zac cradled me against his torso and spoke softly next to my ear. ‘You can open your eyes now.’

The rational side of me knew he was right but the less rational side of me wanted to dwell on the fairy-tale image I’d built up of Zac a little while longer. He’d made quite the first impression on me but I didn’t know if it had been real, not when it could easily have been skewed by the unorthodox angle I’d seen him from, so I went for the mature option of shaking my head.

At the sound of his throaty chuckle, my eyelids ignored my wishes and flew open anyway. I found myself staring into his eyes. Neither brown nor gold, they were a mixture of both and looked uncannily like my favourite tiger’s-eye bracelet. His warm gaze smiled down at me and filled me with the weirdest sensation that I was still falling. If my arms weren’t already clamped around his neck, they soon would have been; it was all I could do to stifle another squeal.

‘Thanks,’ I said, trying to cover up the bizarre noise I’d made instead. ‘Good catch.’

‘You’re welcome.’

I knew I ought to say something but my mind came up blank. Aware that I was staring like a moron, I dropped my gaze and stared at Zac’s chest instead. A rather fine chest barely concealed by a tight blue running shirt which was punctuated with darker patches of sweat to form the shape of a triangle. A runner as well as a swimmer, then? My dashing hero truly was fit in every sense of the word.

Zac adjusted the position of his hands, signalling that he was getting ready to put me down. ‘I er… I think the little guy might like a word. Or something.’

‘Really?’ It was the ‘or something’ that captured my attention so I turned my head to look at Charlie. He looked fine to me. ‘Are you OK, Charlie Bear?’

‘I’m hungry,’ he replied, but then he did some sort of cross-kneed jig which must have been what Zac had seen.

‘No problem.’ I groaned inwardly and unclasped my hands from around Zac’s neck, then tapped him on the shoulder.

‘And I really, really need a wee.’

You don’t say, Charlie.

Zac set me carefully on my feet and I darted towards Charlie the moment I’d regained my balance. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zac put his hands on his hips. ‘OK. Now that you’re both sorted, I’d best be off then.’

‘No!’ The word came out of my mouth like a gunshot and I froze to the spot. Wings flapped furiously overhead, the poor birds startled from their tree yet again. ‘Sorry,’ I said, addressing nobody in particular. ‘I didn’t mean to shout.’

Charlie whimpered but from the contorted, almost pained expression on his face, it had nothing to do with my shouting and everything to do with his bladder. I sprang into action again and snatched up his hand, then led him over to the tree before dropping to my knees.

‘There’s no time to get to the toilet, Charlie,’ I said, yanking his trousers and pants down. ‘You’re going to have to wee against the tree; do you think you can do that?’ The grin that spread across his face gave me all the answer I needed. Rather than watch Charlie watering the grass, I looked across to the spot where Zac had been standing. My pulse stuttered to see him still there.

‘What can I say,’ he said, ‘it’s one of the best perks of being a boy.’

‘Do boys ever grow up?’

‘Not if they can help it.’ Zac launched a lop-sided grin at me not unlike the one Charlie had worn.

‘I’ve finished.’ Charlie interrupted my train of thought before I could come up with a witty retort.

‘Good boy.’ I reached for the clothes around his ankles to pull them back up but searing heat flared in my hands. The sharp breath I sucked in made a loud hissing sound that carried all the way over to Zac.

‘Are you OK?’ he called over to me, his voice laced with concern.

I glanced over to him and half shrugged, using just one shoulder since the aches were setting in already. There was no point hurting both shoulders when one would do. ‘I’m fine, but I think I need to give up juggling fire balls.’

Zac closed the distance between us and sank down onto his haunches. ‘Can I see?’ he asked, holding out his hands palm up in front of him.

‘Um…’ I hesitated. I’d grown so accustomed to showing no sign of weakness that I struggled to accept help from anyone.

‘I’ll be careful.’

‘Hey, Charlie Bear,’ I said, turning my attention back to the little boy still stood naked from the waist down. ‘Can you be a big boy and show me how well you can get dressed again all by yourself?’

He immediately reached for his pants.

Zac waited without saying a word as though he could sense the battle going on inside my head. Hell, the way he was looking into my eyes he could probably see the battle going on inside my head without my usual shields in place. The strong desire to withdraw and lick my wounds alone was in direct opposition to the whole weird trust thing telling me it was OK.

‘Charlie, do you think you could have a hunt around the tree for my phone? I accidentally dropped it.’

‘Sure,’ he said.

‘Thanks, I knew I could rely on you,’ I said. Charlie’s little chest puffed up. ‘There’s a photo I really wanted to show you. I took quite a few in fact so help yourself.’

‘Cool!’ He immediately turned to begin his search so I looked back at Zac.

Kindness and concern were all I could see in his eyes. He hadn’t let me down—not yet anyway—and my hands really did hurt so his first aid skills could come in useful. Ultimately, it was his patience that swung the decision in his favour and I placed my hands face up on top of his open palms. We both winced at the mess I’d made of them and my eyes prickled.

‘Ouch.’ He tenderly raised my hands, inspecting them one at a time. ‘They look like they’ve been in a fight with a cheese grater.’

As comparisons went, it was pretty good. The entire surface of both hands was grazed, bleeding in some places and oozing clear icky stuff in others. Whether that was leaking out of me or was nothing more than residue from the tree was hard to tell.

‘They feel like it too,’ I said through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to rip my hands out of Zac’s despite his gentle touch. ‘Then, for an encore, I juggled a dozen hedgehogs.’

‘I thought you only juggled fire balls?’

‘Hedgehogs, fire balls, axes…what can I say? It’s a hobby of mine.’

‘Is falling out of trees a hobby of yours, too?’

‘You could say that.’ I allowed myself another sly peek at him. ‘Let’s just say my one hundred per cent record is still intact.’

‘Do you do it often?’

‘Hell no. I was seven the only other time I tried and it resulted in a broken wrist.’

‘Oops. Third time lucky, then? I mean the climbing part, not the falling.’

‘No way, I’m never setting foot in a tree ever again.’

‘Probably for the best.’ One corner of his mouth turned up a fraction but it didn’t make a dent in the serious expression he wore. ‘You need to get these cleaned up, Alice.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ I heaved a sigh, then nodded towards the abandoned picnic blanket. ‘I’ve got some kit in my bag.’

‘You carry first aid kit around with you?’ he asked, not quite masking his surprise.

‘Yeah, just in case Charlie falls over,’ I replied. ‘I didn’t really expect to be using it on myself.’

‘I’m impressed, but I doubt it will have everything we need?’

A single butterfly fluttered its wings somewhere in my stomach. ‘We?’

‘Sure,’ he said, peering into my eyes again but hitting me with the cocky grin I was rapidly learning to associate with him. ‘You’re not really going to deny me the chance to put my training to good use, are you?’

‘Don’t you have places to be? A run to finish?’

‘Nothing that can’t wait and my shift doesn’t start for a another couple of hours.’ Zac had to be too good to be true.

I even opened my mouth to tell him as much but chickened out. The words ‘OK, thanks’ came out instead.

His smile grew wider still. ‘You don’t have to sound so glum about it, I’d make an excellent nurse if I wasn’t too busy playing the hero.’

‘Pity,’ I deadpanned. ‘I’m sure the dress would look great on you.’

‘Definitely.’ His chuckle set off a tingle that fizzed from my head to my toe. ‘I have a great pair of legs.’

I made a show of appraising his lean, tanned legs but it backfired. Muscles clenched deep inside my core and crushed the tingly warm and fuzzies, replacing it with a different kind of heat. I’d lay down a bet right now that even a nun would find Zac irresistible so what chance did I have?

‘Yes, you do,’ I said, staring right into his eyes.

‘Told you so.’

For once I didn’t have to pretend to be interested in a guy before I tried to pull him. ‘But what about your bedside manner?’ I slipped effortlessly into ‘flirt’ mode, complete with coy smile. ‘Is that great too?’

Zac’s smile flickered but he didn’t miss a beat. ‘I guess you’d have to take that up with my girlfriend.’

Yeah right.

Like I’d ever let something as minor as another girl deter me from going after a guy. Poaching was a speciality of mine and it had been a while since I’d had a decent challenge. I had to give Zac credit for getting the girlfriend comment in nice and early, he’d already outdone a lot of the guys I’d known. It would almost make me sad to corrupt him but the heady thrill of the chase consumed me, promising my next feel-good hit so I pouted and tilted my head on an angle.

‘Maybe I will,’ I said, looking up at Zac from beneath my lashes. His eyes widened but I was too intoxicated by the rush of endorphins to care and leaned in closer until my mouth was within a whisker of the sensitive spot where his jaw and ear connected. ‘But I’d much rather find out for myself,’ I murmured huskily, making sure my lips brushed against his skin.

Zac’s breath hitched in his throat and he swallowed deeply, fixing his gaze on a spot over my shoulder. His body language screamed at me to back off but he was just too polite to voice it. He got around it by locking his jaws so tightly together I expected to hear a grinding sound and I swear he’d stopped breathing. It was like I’d pressed some invisible pause button by accident and left him frozen.

What have I done?

Moisture gathered in my eyes as tears threatened to spill over, but I didn’t cry over guys and I certainly didn’t cry over rejection. I’d had a lifetime to get used to that feeling. Zac’s body language reached deafening level and snapped me out of my stupor. I pulled away to give him some space but foolishly risked a glance at his face as I sank back onto my heels.

A slight red tinge crept across the top of his cheekbone to the tip of his ear and he eyed me warily. Within a millisecond I could tell that I’d blown it. A barrier had gone up between us and it wasn’t one of mine. Being on the other side was as effective as a bucket of cold water being dumped on me and it doused the more stubborn flames.

‘I’m sorry, I… That was…’ My voice quivered and then died altogether. If I could have wound back the clock, I would have but the damage was done. Goosebumps erupted over my arms but my hands were still held within Zac’s grip so I couldn’t use them to chase away the icy chill that coursed through my veins.

First my snark had failed and now one of my best come-on’s to date had been nothing short of a disaster. Everything had been fine earlier so it had to be something to do with either Charlie or Zac. Ridiculous as it seemed, I found it easier to consider the possibility that Zac was impervious to me. Or maybe the tree somehow zapped my powers?

No, my ‘powers’ lay on the wash stand of my en-suite bathroom. Mum made a point of telling me how much I looked like my father, then in the same breath telling me how ugly he’d been. She’d been right all along…without the lenses and the make-up I was nothing.

‘Alice?’ Zac’s voice sounded tentative. Concerned. ‘You’ve gone really pale. Are you OK?’

‘No,’ I blurted. How many ordeals in one day was a person supposed to be able to cope with? ‘I’ve had a really shitty day, that’s all.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘Talk about it?’ I stared down at our joined hands, the only connection we had left, and bit back a sob. What was it about him had that allowed him to get under my skin? ‘I can’t even look at you any more.’

‘Is this because of—’

‘Just forget it.’ I snatched my hands back and stumbled to my feet. The wide open space of the park now suffocated me and I yearned for the sanctuary of my room. ‘I’m sorry you got caught up in my latest crisis, Zac.’

‘What crisis?’

I ignored him and made a beeline for Charlie. ‘We need to go now, Charlie Bear.’

He looked up from my phone which he’d obviously found. ‘But we haven’t had our picnic yet,’ he said, his eyes beseeching mine.

A tear spilled onto my cheek but I dashed it away with the back of my fingers. ‘I know, and I’m sorry.’ Yet again. I’d done nothing but apologise all day.

‘Is that why you’re crying again?’ He hadn’t bought the shampoo theory then?

‘A little bit,’ I said, forcing a smile onto my face for his sake. ‘I really need to go home but how about a movie afternoon instead? And we could have our picnic on the floor?’

‘Yay!’

‘Come on then, let’s get out of here.’ I turned to leave but found Zac stood right behind me with his arms crossed in front of him.

‘What about your hands?’ he asked.

‘I’m sure I’ll survive,’ I said, throwing his own words back at him again. Uncanny how I could remember nearly everything he’d said, word for word.

‘Did you walk here then?’

‘No, I dro—’ My shoulders slumped and jogged another tear free. I couldn’t possibly drive a car. We were trapped.

‘Where are your keys?’ Zac asked, interpreting the rest of my sentence.

‘In the front pocket of my rucksack. Why?’

‘Great. I’ll drive.’

‘But—’

‘Do you have any better ideas?’ He strode towards my bag then hitched it over his shoulder like it weighed nothing, scooping up the blanket in the same movement. ‘Charlie, can you grab the ball for me please, mate?’

Charlie of course obliged—the traitor—and happily trotted back towards the car with Zac. Just like that, he had assumed leadership. I ought to have kicked up a stink rather than set the women’s lib movement back to the Fifties but after the day I’d had, Zac was welcome to take control. They both stopped and looked back once they realised I wasn’t with them.

‘Alice?’ Zac called.

‘Coming,’ I said, breaking into a trot to catch up.

The damage might have been done but there was still a chance I could fix it. No matter what, I didn’t want Zac to leave with a bad opinion of me, regardless of how true it might be with everybody else.

Chapter five

Patient

Charlie ran on ahead; this time on a mission to collect every single red leaf that had fallen so I fell in step beside Zac, maintaining an appropriate distance from him. We walked together in amiable silence but it wasn’t long before my legs reminded me of their close encounter with the branch. The backs of my calves and the insides of my knees and thighs stung as if I’d been attacked by a porcupines.

Every time they brushed together, I had to swallow a yelp and ended up walking like some macho cowboy. Either that or a heavily pregnant woman. Zac’s guard remained up for the whole walk but at least he’d stuck around. When we arrived at the car park, his feet dragged to a stop and he whipped his head around to face me.

‘I’ve got to drive that?’ he asked, thumbing towards the only vehicle parked there.

‘What’s wrong with my car?’

‘It’s…’ He swallowed. ‘Pink.’

‘Yes, it is.’ Thank goodness I’d mastered deadpan. A bit of banter might just help get things back to how they’d been before I’d fucked up. It certainly couldn’t do any more harm.

‘You drive a bright-pink car.’

‘Full marks for observation but I prefer to think of it as hot pink. It sounds less garish, don’t you think?’

‘Hot pink?’

‘That’s right.’

‘And I’ve got to drive it?’

I shrugged, refusing to let my lips even so much as twitch. ‘Only if you’re man enough. Now, if you could just unlock the doors so we can get in?’ At my request, the locks whirred and the lights flashed. ‘Thank you.’ I walked over to the car, grateful to have my back to Zac for a moment. My jaw ached from biting back my grin. ‘OK, Charlie Bear, you know the drill,’ I said, gingerly opening the passenger door.

Charlie didn’t quibble over getting in whereas Zac continued to stare at my car, apparently traumatised. He still hadn’t moved by the time I’d smashed up my hands some more getting Charlie clipped into his car seat.

‘Is there a problem, Zac?’

‘Huh?’ He mentally shook himself before my eyes. ‘No, no, not at all.’

‘Glad to hear it.’ I carefully lowered myself into the passenger seat for what had to be the first time ever. ‘I wouldn’t want a four year old to show you up, after all. If you ask nicely, maybe he’ll share some testosterone with you?’

I had to turn away to hide the massive grin splitting my face so I didn’t get to see Zac’s reaction but, within seconds, the driver’s door opened. Zac sank into the vacant driving seat without saying a word and slid the key into the ignition just as Charlie piped up from the rear.

‘What’s testos…test…test-oster-thingie?’

Perfect. It gave me the excuse to avoid detection for a little longer so I spun around in my seat to answer. ‘Testosterone, Charlie, is the stuff that separates the men from the boys,’ I said, shooting him a wink.

‘Hey, I saw that.’ Zac jabbed me in the thigh with his index finger and set free a wave of hope that my redemption plan could work.

‘And if you’re a real man,’ I continued, ignoring Zac’s interruption, ‘then you’re more than macho enough to wear pink clothes and drive pink cars without worrying about corrupting your manhood.’

‘I’ve got a pink shirt,’ Zac protested. ‘And a tie with some pink in it.’

‘Excellent, then this should be a doddle. Let’s go…’

Zac gnashed his teeth together and grumbled something under his breath but he reached behind for the seatbelt and buckled up. ‘Do you need a hand with yours?’ he asked. ‘If you’ll pardon the pun.’

‘That would be good, thank you. I think I managed to rip even more skin off when I sorted Charlie’s.’

Zac leaned across to grab the seatbelt before I’d finished speaking. His running shirt must have been drying out because there was a slight aroma coming off him from such close quarters. It didn’t register as unpleasant though. Quite the opposite, in fact, so I breathed in deeply, albeit subtly since I wasn’t a complete moron.

Once I was safely belted in, Zac turned the key in ignition and the engine roared to life. He put the car into first gear, then reached for the handbrake but didn’t release it. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.

‘Huh?’ I looked up from my lap to find him staring at me.

‘Is it your hands? Are they really bothering you?’

‘No.’ My response was met with two arched eyebrows. ‘Well, I mean yes, they hurt like hell but I’m OK. Why?’

‘You look…worried.’ He took his hand off the handbrake and put the car back into neutral. ‘I’m insured to drive any car if that’s what’s bothering you?’

‘No, it’s not that. Although good to know and I probably should have checked first—’

‘Do you always ramble when you’re nervous?’

‘Ugh. Fine. This is going to make me sound like a total loser but it just dawned on me that you’re the only person aside from me to get behind the wheel of my car.’

‘Ah…’ His eyes softened with understanding. ‘I promise I’ll drive carefully.’

‘You’d better. I’ll have you know this car is my pride and joy.’

‘Duly noted.’

I waited until Zac was on the road and moving before I spoke again. ‘So what do you usually drive?’

‘A Land Rover.’

‘Oh, but of course.’ I smacked the heel of my hand off my forehead and successfully stabbed myself in the head. ‘How very manly. I should’ve known. Which model? Discovery? Defender?’

Zac took his gaze off the road for a second and grinned. ‘Freelander. The three-door version.’

‘Nice. Let me guess…it’s green, right?’

‘A-ha, no. You’re wrong.’

‘Black?’

‘Nope.’

‘Silver.’

‘Yep. Um…Alice?’

‘Yes?’

‘Where am I supposed to be going?’

‘Oh. Ha-ha. Oops.’ The rest of the journey consisted of me giving Zac a series of directions and it left little opportunity for conversation. I toyed with the idea of taking him the long way but he would have sussed me out as soon as we arrived at the house so I led him directly there. Going home wasn’t nearly as daunting when I knew there was nobody else there.

Zac made the final turn and pulled up outside the gates. His jaw dropped and he stared open-mouthed at the driveway on the other side. ‘You live here?’ he asked, finally finding his voice. ‘Are you like royalty or a celebrity or something?’

I let out a choked laugh. ‘Hardly.’ My response earned more raised eyebrows from Zac but I wasn’t about to elaborate, especially not with Charlie in the car. ‘There’s a remote control to open the gates on my keyring.’

‘Oh, right. I wondered what that was for.’ Zac found the button then waited for the gates to open before driving through and cruising slowly along the driveway to take in the scene. ‘Wow, nice place,’ he said, bringing the car to a standstill in front of the house.

‘If you say so,’ I mumbled, earning another quizzical glance until Charlie saved me from an interrogation.

‘Can I show Zac my bedroom, Aunty Alice?’

Zac made a tiny sound; a sort of gasp in reverse. He wasn’t the first person to wonder about my relationship to Charlie and he sure as hell wouldn’t be the last so I pretended not to notice. In a backhanded way, I found it extremely flattering. If I ever had a child then I’d want him—or her—to be just like Charlie.

‘It’s fine with me, Charlie, but it’s up to Zac really.’

‘I’d love to see your room, Charlie, but I seem to recall you saying you were hungry so why don’t you show me after you’ve had some lunch?’

Impressive.

‘Yay,’ came Charlie’s standard answer to anything that involved getting his own way. ‘Can you sit next to me, Zac?’

‘Um…’ Zac’s gaze darted to meet mine. ‘I don’t—’

‘There’s plenty of food,’ I said, butting in before he could decline. ‘You’re more than welcome to join us.’ He still didn’t look convinced so I went for the clincher. ‘Think of it as our way of saying “thank you”.’

‘Pleeeaaaase,’ Charlie whined.

‘OK. Thanks.’ He hit the release for both his seatbelt and mine and then removed the keys from the ignition. ‘Shall we?’

A frisson of excitement made my heart beat out a faster rhythm. I’d never invited anybody to the house before; no friends, none of the girls from my old boarding school, and most definitely no boys. ‘Let’s go.’

We all piled out of the car at once, with Charlie jumping out from the driver’s side to save me having to fight with the lever to collapse the front seat. Zac walked around to the boot to retrieve my rucksack and the picnic blanket before trailing Charlie and me to the front door. Keys still in hand, Zac used the only available option since I only kept one door key on my keyring then pushed the door open.

‘After you,’ he said, extending his free arm.

‘Why, thank you.’ I led Charlie into the playroom then, with Zac’s help, we got Charlie settled on the picnic blanket with a plate full of food in front of Cars 2.

‘So?’ Zac said, turning away from the TV to face me.

‘My turn now, huh?’ I said, too scared to turn my hands over to see if they looked any better. Judging from how much they hurt, I suspected worse.

‘Yep. Do you have tweezers?’

I nodded. ‘They’re in my room. Do you want to come up—er…’ My stomach plummeted to my toes. Oh, puh-lease. I sounded no better than a stranger inviting someone to see their puppies. ‘Give me a sec and I’ll pop up and get them.’

‘Why? Is your room a pigsty?’

‘No.’ I shot him a glare but then noticed the crinkle around his eyes.

‘Then what’s the problem?’

‘I just thought that after…’ Stop talking, Alice. My mouth finally caught up with my brain. After the debacle in the park, I’d been given another chance. ‘Never mind. The tweezers are in my bathroom.’

‘Even better. I’ll need running water too.’ He hauled my bag back onto his shoulder and quirked his eyebrow at me. ‘Lead the way.’

‘There’s a better first aid kit in the utility, and antiseptic—’

‘No antiseptic. It might damage the tissue.’

‘Really?’

‘It can slow down healing too.’

‘Oh.’

‘You might want some painkillers though.’

‘Again…bedroom cabinet.’

‘Then what are we waiting for? You point out where everything is, and I’ll do the donkey work.’

Yep, he’s definitely too good to be true.

‘This way,’ I said, not stupid enough to look a gift-horse in the mouth, not even a donkey version. I got as far as the doorway before I stopped and turned back. ‘Charlie, we’ll just be in my bedroom cleaning my poorly hands if you need anything.’

‘OK,’ Charlie replied without taking his eyes off the screen.

‘He’ll be fine,’ Zac murmured beside me.

I hesitated a moment longer and watched Charlie take another bite of his sandwich before I nodded. ‘We won’t be long,’ I said to the room at large and then set off for the stairs.

Zac followed closely behind, his head turning this way and that as he took everything in. ‘Your house is massive.’

‘I’ll give you the full tour after lunch, if you like, but I tend to stick to my floor.’

‘Your floor? As in an entire level?’ Thank goodness somebody couldn’t actually trip over their jaw otherwise Zac would be tumbling down the stairs and in a worse state than me.

‘Pretty much, although it’s a bit different to the main part of the house.’ We reached the first landing with its wide hallway and white panelled doors. ‘Charlie’s room is on this level, along with his mum and dad’s and the guest rooms.’

‘So you live with your aunt and uncle?’

Shit. I’d set myself up for that one. ‘Something like that,’ I said, falling back on the cryptic answers as I led Zac to one of the many doors on the family floor. ‘I’m up here.’

‘Up?’

I opened the door to reveal another staircase. Zac did some weird upside-down smile and nodded his approval, then fell in behind me. We reached the top of the much narrower staircase which spilled onto the landing with its three doors leading off.

‘So these rooms are all yours?’

‘Yep.’

‘But the rest of your family are on the floor below?’

‘It’s quite an old house so I think this floor must have been designed for a housekeeper or live-in nanny.’

‘Right.’ Zac held my gaze longer than I’d anticipated, intrigue burning in his eyes, but I couldn’t be the one to look away first. ‘So which one of these doors leads to your bedroom?’ he asked finally, directing his gaze to each of the closed doors ahead.

‘That one,’ I said, pointing to the middle one. ‘The other ones lead to my home gym and my dressing room.’

‘Your home gym?’

‘Poke your head in if you like. I kitted it out last year with a treadmill, rowing machine, cross-trainer, and a punchbag.’

‘A punchbag? Wow, remind me not to get on your bad side.’

‘I need to let off steam sometimes.’ Putting it mildly. ‘Pity I can’t take any of it with my when I leave.’ Damn it, I’d done it again.

Zac picked up on my blunder straight away. ‘Are you moving out?’

‘No plans as yet, but I’m saving up. I suppose you think I’m crazy for wanting to leave this house?’

He tilted his head and studied me until it bordered on uncomfortable. ‘I’m sure you have your reasons. So is the other room crammed full of clothes?’

‘And shoes. You mustn’t forget those.’

‘Heaven forbid.’ He faked a shudder before setting off for my bedroom. With his back turned, I closed my eyes and let out a discreet sigh of relief. ‘Are you coming?’

I opened my eyes mid-exhale and saw him looking back at me with his eyebrow raised. Too embarrassed to answer, I slipped underneath his arm that was holding the door open and led the way through my bedroom to my bathroom.

Zac immediately turned on the tap over the basin. ‘Keep your hands under the running water to clean all that gunk off.’

‘OK.’ While I did as I was told, Zac pottered around my bathroom. Talk about odd. I wasn’t used to other people in my space, let alone my private bathroom, and especially not a guy.

‘Where are your tweezers?’

‘Hmm?’

‘Your tweezers. Where are they?’ he asked, not seeing the instruments of torture amongst the rest of my crap.

‘Oh, they’re just there, in front of my eyelash curlers,’ I said, nodding towards them.

‘What the hell are eyelash curlers when they’re at home?’

‘You obviously don’t have sisters.’

‘Nope. Just a brother.’

‘Right. Do you see the metal thing at the front there, the one that looks a bit like a pair of scissors but without any blades.’

‘Oh right, yeah. Got them,’ he said, brandishing the tweezers in the air.

‘Great.’ My stomach flipped at the thought of what was coming next. ‘Could you do me a favour, Zac?’ I asked, still stuck with my hands in the basin.

‘Try me.’

‘Could you grab a chewing gum out of my toiletry bag please?’

‘Hang on. Isn’t a girl’s toiletry bag, like, forbidden territory?’ Again he managed to put a smile on my face.

‘I’m prepared to make an exception for you, just this once, so long as you don’t report me to the authorities.’

‘Your secret is safe with me.’ Zac words resonated on so many levels but it was probably me reading too much into them.

‘Thanks.’

He reached for the bag and rooted amongst the various bits and pieces I kept in there. Nothing too incriminating. Usually travel-size bottles of shower gel and shampoo; baby wipes; a spare toothbrush and toothpaste; and my emergency packet of gum. ‘Nicotine gum?’

‘Yep, they’re the ones.’ I sounded monotone compared to the surprise in Zac’s voice.

‘Are you trying to give up smoking?’

‘Nope, although I probably should. I just don’t like smoking around Charlie.’

‘I see.’ From the way Zac spoke, I got the unnerving impression that he really did see, but then he seemed to see an awful lot that he wasn’t supposed to. ‘Open wide.’ As soon as I’d opened my mouth enough, he popped the gum onto my tongue, then looked around. ‘Where do you keep your clean towels?’

‘In the cupboard in the corner.’

‘Ah.’ He set off and accidentally brushed against me when he walked past. The effect was instant and I damn well nearly choked on the stupid gum. ‘Whoa! Are you OK?’

I nodded, unable to stop coughing.

‘That’s all right, then.’ He smirked, then assembled his supplies into the towel and left me free to ‘not’ choke to death. With the bundle in one hand, he tipped out my toothbrush from its glass holder with his other hand, then washed it out before filling it with cold water. He lifted the glass to my lips and I drank greedily.

‘Thanks,’ I said, my throat soothed by the icy cold water. ‘You’re a lifesaver.’

‘And I didn’t even have to get wet this time,’ he said, grinning at my rubbish pun. ‘Are you ready then?’

‘Er… Sure.’ I presented my hands to him. ‘Just be gentle.’

‘Of course.’ His touch did the weird tingle thing to me again. ‘Um…this could take a while, Alice. Is there somewhere you’d be more comfortable?’

Not bloody likely!

I had a fast developing crush on the totally awesome guy in my bedroom—well, en-suite bathroom—and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it…except get out of the bedroom perhaps. ‘Is the balcony OK with you?’

Zac did a brilliant job of cleaning me up, giving me plenty of opportunity to admire his long, dexterous fingers. He successfully removed every single splinter from my palms, dropping each bit of tree onto a sheet of tissue. Put at ease by his gentle bedside manner, I didn’t freak out at all when I had to lie down on my sun lounger so that he could get to the splinters in my calves as well.

It took ages.

Charlie’s film finished and he came up to join me and Zac on the balcony, chatting away merrily while Zac finished up. After a bite to eat and a quick tour of Charlie’s room, Zac set off for his run home, but not before leaving me with strict instructions to see my doctor or go to a walk-in centre if there was any sign of infection. I’d rather he’d left me with his contact details since all I knew was his first name.

Sure, I knew where he worked but I couldn’t exactly rock up at the swimming baths with my hands all bandaged up. They stung like hell at the mere thought of chlorine. If I turned up and asked for him without some kind of brilliant excuse, it would either make me look desperate or veer dangerously towards ‘friendship’ territory. No, it was up to Zac to make contact if he wanted to stay in touch.

Unfortunately.

One silver lining of the whole ordeal was that it gave me the ideal excuse to miss work. No way could I carry hot plates around, nor clear tables and I definitely couldn’t polish cutlery, so instead of having to beg for unplanned holiday to look after Charlie, I simply called in sick. A good thing too, it transpired. Mum called and informed me they’d be away an extra night, having been invited to another function.

She didn’t check it with me first, she just stated their plans and then left me to deal with the ramifications but I was used to it. Charlie didn’t seem to care either and I had a fabulous time chilling out at home with my favourite man.

Normal routine resumed within a few days, with Mum and Derek home from their trip and me back at work.

In a bid to lie low, I spent more and more time out of the house to avoid another run-in with Mum forever. On the morning of Hallowe’en, I found Mum waiting for me at the breakfast table and my good mood evaporated.

‘Didn’t you go to college with her?’ Mum tossed me a newspaper with a huge picture of Caroline smiling up at me.

I cast the paper aside. ‘Yes, I did.’

‘She’s pretty,’ Mum said, shoving the paper back under my nose.

I shrugged. ‘I guess.’

‘And smart too.’

Intrigued, I skimmed over the article and saw that Caroline had won a maths tournament. With me out of the way, she’d finally claimed my top spot. Whoopie-do. ‘Whatever.’

‘Why can’t you be more like her?’ Mum glared at me with her gaze set to maim or immobilise.

‘More like Caroline? Seriously?’ I shoved the newspaper back at Mum and watched it fall to the floor. ‘Why the hell would I want to be like that two-faced bitch?’

‘She’s going places, I can see it her eyes.’

‘And I’m not, I suppose?’ Caroline’s perfect profile mocked me from afar and I could just hear her whiny laugh.

‘Oh, Alice, just look at yourself.’ Mum dragged her gaze over me.

‘Why?’ I fought the instinct to shrink back against my seat and forced myself to sit up taller. ‘What’s wrong with the way I look? With me?’

‘Your underwear is supposed to be covered by your clothes, not an accessory. Your skirt is so short you might as well not bother wearing it.’ Mum’s lip curled into a sneer. ‘Perhaps the more pertinent question is “what’s right with you?”’

‘Fine. Whatever.’ My shoulders slumped and I dug my nails into my hand to quell the threat of tears. I couldn’t do much about Mum, god knows I’d tried, but I could wipe the smug grin off Caroline’s face. If revenge was indeed a dish best served cold, I was ready to eat the whole damn dish frozen, and the sooner the better before my conscience talked me out of it.

Chapter six

Dumped

Zac

Zac jogged on the spot at the entrance to the park, torn between whether to head home or keep running. Rain pelted his face, getting clogged in his eyebrows before dripping off the end of his nose, yet the miserable weather seemed fitting. The portentous grey skies suited his gloomy state of mind. Decision made, he set off for an extra loop around the park to try and run off his bad mood.

Some birthday this is turning out to be.

The blame for his grump lay squarely on his own shoulders and served him right for getting ahead of himself. More fool him for thinking his relationship with Lena had been going great and making plans on the assumption they’d still be together on his birthday. Instead he’d been caught out by the ‘it’s over but it’s not you, it’s me’ line and Lena had been long gone for weeks.

Romantically at least.

If he’d ever had her to begin with. Zac couldn’t be certain of that any more either, not when he’d lost out to another guy who didn’t even want her as anything more than a friend—the idiot—but why hadn’t he spotted the signs? Perhaps because there weren’t any, what with Lena living in a state of denial right to the end. Now he was saddled with two tickets for a jazz night and no one to go with any more.

Zac upped his pace and ran on, heading deeper into the park with nothing but the sound of his footsteps for company. He’d only bought the tickets in the first place to introduce Lena to the world of jazz and blues. A few more weeks and he might have invited the still-single Lena along anyway, but time had run out and he hadn’t quite reached the ‘let’s be friends’ level of acceptance yet.

The wind changed direction and brought an easterly gale whipping across the flat terrain of the park. Each gust swirled up the last remaining leaves from the ground and plastered them onto his legs. Beyond the canopy of bare trees, the sky darkened, more like dusk than day. Heavier rain soon followed, driving against his cheeks and lashing his eyes until they stung.

This is madness.

Running in rain and drizzle was one thing but this was monsoon weather, together with an icy chill that threatened hail. If he didn’t take cover soon he’d land himself in the hospital with pneumonia, which would at least bag him some ‘get well soon’ cards and maybe some more gifts to add to his birthday haul, however it still didn’t hold much appeal.

Too far from home to turn back, his best bet was to head to the pool where he could at least dry off and put on the spare clothes he kept in his locker. Zac changed course and followed the track that led towards the recreation centre, taking him beneath the denser trees. They offered little in the way of shelter and did nothing more than drop water bombs on him. His new route took him past the foot of the massive oak tree.

The memory of the girl hanging upside down from its branches burst unbidden into his mind and put an unexpected spring in his step.

Alice.

Now there was a girl with a sharp tongue. The banter had been exhilarating even when she’d been clinging onto the branch and scared out of her wits. For her to be up the damn tree in the first place revealed a fun, risk-taking personality. Back on terra firma she’d acted like two different people: the shy one Charlie got to hang out with and the brash one she clearly presented to everybody else.

But why?

Based on first impressions, Alice could definitely stand her ground so that wasn’t the problem. Money was clearly no object either, judging from her swanky mansion, her flashy car and her home gym. She had everything she could possibly wish for, yet instead of coming across as a spoilt little rich girl she seemed deeply unhappy. Disturbed, even. Why was she living with her sister anyway? Where were her parents?

Alice was a puzzle and the longer Zac spent in her presence, the more he wanted to know what she was hiding, and he had no doubt that she’d been hiding something. Bold and brash on the surface, she remained guarded and aloof underneath. She cloaked her emotions and never let anybody else see that she had a vulnerable side.

Any mention of her home life and the shutters went up faster than the security screen in a bank at the first sign of a heist. There was no point asking her outright or pressing her for details; she’d have only deflected the question or fobbed him off another load of cryptic answers. From the few answers she had given, they didn’t make any sense and he’d left her house with so many questions it had driven him crazy for the best part of a fortnight.

Zac knew he must have watched too many chick movies with Lena when he found himself thinking of Alice as a lost soul. He’d grown more infuriated by the day until Lena had asked what was troubling him. With no explanation forthcoming and no hope of learning the answers, he’d had no choice but to let it drop.

Guilt now prickled his conscience and left him with a sense of unfinished business. He’d convinced himself that he couldn’t turn up at those big iron gates and claim to be in the neighbourhood and expect to be taken seriously. He should have done something though and if it had been anybody else, he probably would have.

It didn’t matter that he could list a whole heap of excuses for not getting in touch with Alice to check her hands were OK—from work to Lena breaking up with him—because that’s all they were: excuses, and feeble ones at that. The main reason he’d stayed away was because it would have been tantamount to taking an industrial-strength fan into the desert and switching it on when the dust had barely settled.

Regardless of what Alice did or most likely didn’t say, it was obvious she had enough issues to write a list a mile long and his head was already fucked up with his own mess. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so distracted thinking about Alice, he’d have noticed the cracks appearing in his relationship with Lena. Sure, she would have left him no matter what but he might at least have seen it coming and been able to prepare himself mentally.

None of that was Alice’s fault but the last thing he needed to do was add to the cacophony inside his brain and stir up a sandstorm. Admittedly, a desert sandstorm appealed far more than the torrential downpour he was having to contend with right at that moment. Every inch of him was soaked, his clothes saturated, and his trainers squelched with each stride. Steam rose off him and a chill permeated his skin leaving a trail of goosebumps.

Zac shook it off and raced towards the harbour of the staff changing room with its hot shower, fluffy towels and dry clothing. He didn’t stop running until his hand was pushing open the front door, quickly followed by the rest of him.

‘You’re supposed to get changed before you go swimming, you know,’ came a female voice from a few feet away. ‘Or at least take your shoes off.’

Zac recognised the voice instantly; his mouth already curved into a grin. Speak of the devil. ‘Ah, thank you. I thought I was probably doing something wrong.’

Alice replied with a giggle but as he turned to greet her, his pulse skittered at the sight of her. Stood with her bag over her shoulder, wearing not enough clothing and way too much make-up, she looked more like a drag queen version of herself. Or maybe an evil twin. It was a fight to regain control of legs that were trying to make him back away.

He could have sworn her eyes were more of a khaki colour, but now they were bright blue. Unnaturally blue. ‘Fallen out of any trees lately?’ he asked, planting his foot firmly on the floor.

‘No, it’s like I told you…no more tree-climbing for me.’

‘Good. Just checking.’ In more ways than one. If Alice hadn’t have spoken first, he doubted he would have recognised her. ‘So how are your hands?’

‘Good as new,’ she said, holding them out in front of her and wiggling her fingers. ‘See?’

‘Gre—’ A shudder ripped through him; the combination of being tickled and the shock of the icy chill as several drops of rain dripped onto the back of his neck. The sudden movement caused more water to run in rivulets down his legs.

‘The nearest gents is upstairs,’ Alice teased, directing his attention to the water pooling around his feet. ‘Unless it’s too late?’

‘Damn.’ The puddle was getting bigger by the second but there was so much he wanted to ask. ‘Are you going to be here for a while? I need to go and get dried off before I pose a health and safety risk but I could catch up with you after?’

‘Um…’ Alice sank her teeth into her bottom lip, creating a dent in the garish red lipstick. Surely she’d have to scrape it all off to swim? ‘I’m kind of meeting a…a friend.’

Kind of?

Her story would have been a whole lot easier to believe if she’d held his gaze, but she broke off to stare at his feet, revealing the thickness of the black line painted along the edge of her eyelid. Easily as thick as the straps on her flimsy top—thicker in fact—she couldn’t even put the trowel job down to her hands being knackered so had to have done it that way on purpose.

‘Oh OK.’ Intrigue be damned, he should consider it a blessing that she was trying to put him off. Think of it as a narrow escape. If Alice was up to something then he didn’t want to know. ‘Some other time, then?’ he added, purely out of politeness.

‘Really?’ Her voice lost its defensive edge and was replaced by an enthusiasm he hadn’t anticipated.

‘Er…sure.’

‘Thanks. I’d like that.’ The open, relaxed expression on her face came as a surprise too and this time he did believe her.

‘Me too.’ Maybe he’d finally be able to get some answers or at least get her out of his head. ‘We’ll have to sort something out.’

‘Definitely.’ Her gaze flitted to the clock and then to the folded newspaper in her hand before lifting back to him. ‘Now, hadn’t you better go and dry off before you turn the foyer into a second swimming pool?’

Zac watched in amazement as the shutters slammed down over her eyes. ‘Trying to get rid of me already?’ he asked, disguising his question as a joke.

She laughed on cue—totally fake though—and a manic spark flashed behind the freaky blue lenses. If he read her correctly though, her bluff had nothing to do with him. Either way, he couldn’t argue with her dismissal; not only was he soaking the floor, the shivers were getting the better of him.

‘Take care, Alice,’ he said, although what possessed him to use those particular words was a mystery.

‘You too, Zac. It was good to see you again.’ She saved him the trouble of an awkward goodbye by stalking up to the reception desk.

When she leaned forward to pay, Zac discovered just how short her skirt was and how little it covered. Modesty seemed to be the least of her problems, so he ignored the urge to find something to drape over her. Zac shook himself out of a stunned daze and realised he wasn’t the only one staring after her. Maybe getting caught in a flash flood was preferable to a sandstorm after all?

After one final glance, he forced his legs to move and set off down the corridor ahead of her towards the relative peace of the staff room. For once, the room was empty so he wandered over to his locker to grab his old sweats and T-shirt, along with the towel he kept there. Pity there was no hope of getting his trainers dry for the run home.

Another shiver rippled through him as he considered the choice between his soggy shoes or the flip flops he wore poolside. Both meant wet feet for the foreseeable. Enough dawdling, he needed to get warm and dry. Zac packed up his gear, rolling his spare clothes inside his towel, then grabbed his shower gel before heading to the men’s changing room.

Shy schoolboys occupied the few shower cubicles. Too cold to be fussy, Zac peeled off his sodden clothes and made do with the communal showers. Tension coiled up in his shoulders like a tightly wound spring. The fresh scent of his shower gel washed away the grubby residue left behind by the rain and the mud from splashing in puddles but did nothing for his nagging concerns.

When the shower cut off abruptly for the fourth time, he leaned one hand against the cool tiled surface then held down the press button for the shower valve with the other hand. Eyes closed, he let the hot water cascade over him, coaxing life back into his fingertips and toes.

‘Hey, mate, you OK?’

‘Huh?’ Zac startled and turned his head towards the voice. He opened his eyes to find Josh staring at him from the next shower. ‘Oh, hey, Josh. Yeah, I’m fine thanks.’

‘Have you been swimming? I didn’t see you.’

‘No, I was out running and got caught in the deluge. This place was closer than home so I figured I’d come here.’

‘Sounds grim.’

‘It was. I was easily as wet as you when I got here.’

‘Yuck,’ Josh said, twisting his face into a grimace. ‘Shame you weren’t poolside. You missed some spectacular talent just now.’

‘Yeah? Is one of the under nines coming good?’

Josh laughed. ‘Nah, mate, not that sort of talent. I meant the other one. You know, the one that comes in a teeny-tiny swimsuit with pert tits and legs up to her armpits,’ he said, drawing the shape of an hourglass in the air.

‘Oh right,’ Zac said flatly.

‘I swear she was giving me the eye too.’ The lascivious grin spreading across Josh’s face was what had landed the guy with his questionable reputation with the female lifeguards.

‘I thought you had a girlfriend?’

Josh shrugged. ‘I do,’ he said, leaning in closer. ‘Doesn’t stop me looking though. Right?’ He nudged his elbow into Zac’s side like they were co-conspirators.

‘Of course it doesn’t,’ Zac muttered under his breath, growing more uncomfortable with the conversation with each passing second. He let go of the shower valve and counted to five as he waited for the water to shut off. ‘Right, that’s me done. I’m out of here.’ To avoid eye contact, he bent to pick up his shower gel. ‘I’m on duty next Wednesday so I guess I’ll see you then.’

‘Yeah, mate, see ya next week,’ Josh replied. ‘Hey, I hope that girl comes again too.’

Lost for a suitable reply, Zac opted for silence and raised his hand as a goodbye, then busied himself by wrapping his towel around his waist as he walked away from Josh.

Jeez, the guy was a twat.

Far too jumped up and full of himself, Zac couldn’t wait for the day somebody knocked Josh down a peg or two. The kids seemed to like him, but it probably had something to do with them sharing the same mental age. No, that was harsh; Josh was a good coach as well as a total louse and the male equivalent to a tart.

Unbidden, the image of Alice bent over the reception desk leaped into Zac’s mind and caused him to stop dead in the centre of the changing room. Aware that he was causing an obstruction, Zac shuffled to the bench where his clothes lay waiting for him. He dragged the towel roughly over his skin and tried to brush off the niggling doubt that had taken up residence in his head.

When it failed to work he screwed the towel into a ball, then tossed it onto the bench hard enough to make the wooden slats rattle. The whole set-up was just too much of a coincidence to ignore. Too convenient. He could well imagine Josh fawning over the bleached-blonde look and based on how little Alice had been wearing when fully dressed, it didn’t take much to guess the kind of swimming costume she’d have worn.

Alice certainly kept herself in shape but she was there to meet a friend—or at least, that’s what she’d said—and that friend couldn’t possibly have been Josh since he didn’t show any sign of knowing her. Unless that’s where the ‘kind of’ came into it?

Not my problem.

What Alice and Josh did or didn’t do was entirely their own business. If Josh was stupid enough to play with fire, then he deserved to get his fingers burned. He was a grown adult and could look after himself, as could Alice. Better off staying out of it, Zac wanted nothing to do with the drama. He kept up the internal mantra and dressed quickly.

Not wanting to risk bumping into either of them again, Zac made his way back to the staff room to kill time and hide out until he was sure the coast was clear. The first coffee barely touched the sides, but the second hit the spot. His peace ended when the door burst open to admit four members of staff chattering excitedly, all talking at once as they converged around the small television mounted on the wall.

Two more colleagues came in right behind them while a guy from the gym, Mike or Tyke or something, flipped through the channels. A loud cheer went up when he came to the channel with the CCTV footage and Zac couldn’t help looking up to see what all the fuss was about. His jaw dropped open and the mug slipped from his fingers.

Right there on screen in full colour, albeit a bit grainy, he saw a guy and a girl getting intimately acquainted. Josh was instantly recognisable even from behind. Zac knew better than to watch yet dread slithered over his skin and paralysed him. He couldn’t tear his gaze off the images flashing across the screen for all and sundry to see.

Proper car crash viewing.

Even though the girl wasn’t so easily identifiable from the camera angle, Zac knew exactly who she was. Sadly. The sight of her skirt and shoes merely confirmed it. He raised his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose, massaging it gently but the images burned into his vision refused to vanish. If anything, they got worse as his imagination joined in on the act.

Another jeer went up and his eyelids flew open against his will. Alice had now removed her vest and hitched her skirt up to her waist. Since she didn’t appear to be wearing underwear any more, there was absolutely nothing left to the imagination. Shouts of ‘get in there,’ ‘go on, my son’ and ‘oh my god, they’re actually doing it’ filled the staff room.

Josh wasted no time getting down to business. The tan lines on his backside made his bright white arse look like a flag blowing in the breeze as he thrust and gyrated into the girl with a wanton smile. A smile which faded the instant Josh couldn’t see her face any more. If anything, Alice looked bored.

Huh?

Unaware she was live-streaming on television, she even went so far as to check her phone or send a text or something. Who in their right mind would do that? Nobody else seemed to have noticed, too busy focusing on the action most likely, but the girl on screen wasn’t the Alice that Zac had met in the park. The question now was, which one was real and which one the impostor?

Only one way to find out.

He was going to have to venture into the sandstorm after all, before Alice could do permanent damage to herself. Zac crossed to the door and didn’t stop walking until he reached the door to the meeting room. He knocked sharply on the door three times, giving Josh and Alice ample warning, and then pushed it open an inch to avoid having to shout and cause even more of a scene.

‘No, wait,’ Josh yelled, an edge of panic to his voice. ‘You can’t come in.’

‘You’ve got thirty seconds to make yourselves decent before I open this door fully.’ Zac couldn’t help grinning. ‘And you might just want to keep your backs to the camera since you’ve corralled an audience with your antics.’

‘C-camera?’ Josh spluttered, not sounding anything like his usual cocky self any more. ‘Audience?’

‘Yeah, you might want to choose a better venue for your extra-curricular rendezvous in future,’ Zac said, enjoying Josh’s discomfort far too much. ‘Of all the rooms in the whole place, you had to choose one of the only ones with an external door. God help you if anyone tries to break in tonight and the tapes get seized as evidence.’

‘Shit.’

Zac had no idea if it had been thirty seconds or not, but he shoved the door open anyway then stepped inside. ‘Time’s up.’

Alice was still struggling with her top so he point blank refused to look her way. Josh swallowed, then opened his mouth to say something but his gaze got drawn to the door. The blood drained from his face and his eyes grew wide—frantic—so Zac looked behind him half expecting to see their boss, or perhaps a two-headed monster, but there was just a girl stood there.

‘C-C-Caroline?’ Josh stuttered. ‘You’re early.’

Uh-oh.

‘Damn right I’m early, Joshua,’ snarked the girl in the doorway. She barged her way into the room with her hands on her hips and let the door swing shut behind her. ‘I got a message that you were up to no good and came to see for myself.’

‘A message?’ Josh said. ‘Who from?’

Zac winced and shook his head. Of all the things for Josh to pick up on, that part wasn’t it. Surely he knew he was on a losing streak almost as much as Zac was sure he knew who’d tipped Caroline off. He didn’t have to look far for the culprit but Alice didn’t so much as glance at him, too busy smirking at Caroline.

Caroline dismissed Josh with a cutting glare and addressed Alice directly. ‘I see you’re still up to your old tricks?’

Alice lifted one shoulder in a semi-shrug. ‘You know me.’

‘What have I ever done to you, Alice?’

‘Oh come off it. Does this ring any bells?’ Alice danced some sort of weird steps, never once taking her evil eye off Caroline.

‘What the fuck!’ Caroline gasped. ‘But that was months ago.’ She shook her head and took two steps back. ‘How do you even know about it?’

‘I was there, you two-faced, back-stabbing bitch.’ Alice’s face contorted into a snarl. She haughtily flicked her hair over her shoulder and strutted over to Caroline. ‘I watched it with my own fucking eyes.’

Caroline paled until she almost matched Josh. ‘So why now? Why break up me and Joshua?’ Her words stirred Josh back to life.

‘We’re breaking up?’ he blurted. ‘No. Please. Let me make it up to you.’

Both girls ignored him so he foolishly turned to the only other guy in the room for support except Zac held no sympathy for the cheating idiot either. He did his best ‘serves you right’ shrug then blanked Josh to watch the showdown between Alice and Caroline, ready to jump between them if things escalated.

Mean and menacing, Alice lowered her voice and got right up in Caroline’s face. ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold, you should know that. Especially after what you helped me do to Virginia.’

Whoa.

For a pretty girl, Alice sure had a major ugly streak. What happened to the funny girl that climbed trees and sat through dreadful Disney films with her little nephew?

Caroline made some sort of mewling noise and stormed out of the room. Josh charged after her—if he’d been a dog, he’d have had his tail between his legs but Zac didn’t rate his chances—which left just him and Alice in the room.

‘What the fuck was that?’ he asked.

Alice finally met his gaze. ‘That was Caroline, she’s—’

‘No, not her. You.’ Her eyebrows arched upwards but her forehead didn’t seem to move. Odd. ‘What exactly did I just witness?’

Alice jutted out her jaw. ‘Nothing.’ Her fake blue eyes sparkled under the lights but they had about as much life in them as a stone. ‘Just an old score being settled.’

‘By making Josh cheat on his girlfriend?’

‘I didn’t “make” him do anything.’

‘No, I’ll give you that, but it’s what you had planned all along.’

‘So?’

‘Dare I ask who Virginia is?’

‘No one you’d know,’ Alice replied, shutting him down.

Damn it, she was exasperating.

‘What’s happened to you? Or is this vamped-up version the real you and I’m the fool for thinking you were someone different? Someone nicer?’ The words escaped before he could stop them. If he hadn’t been glaring at her, he’d have missed the flash of pain.

‘What’s it to you, anyway?’ she replied, but the sass was forced. ‘It’s not like you could be bothered to stay in touch.’

‘And how was I supposed to do that?’

‘You know where I live.’

‘Yeah, behind six-foot iron gates in the middle of nowhere. What was I supposed to do, write you a postcard? I didn’t know if you even wanted to stay in touch.’

‘Well, I did.’ Her hand flew to her lips as though she hadn’t meant to say the words out loud.

Damned if he knew what was going on with her but the compulsion to reach out to her, to try and protect her, proved too strong to ignore. ‘Then you’re just as bad,’ he said, softening his tone and relaxing his stance. ‘You knew where I worked. Why didn’t you come here or leave me a message?’

Alice opened her mouth but then closed it again. She broke off eye contact and stared at a spot over his shoulder before heaving a sigh. ‘I don’t know,’ she said eventually.

‘Never mind, you’re here now.’

‘Yeah.’ The vibe coming from her was different again. Lost? Scared? Confused? Her angry red flush faded and gave her the complexion of a china doll.

‘Er, Alice, you look like you’re about to puke.’

‘Don’t worry, it’ll pass soon.’

‘Right. Of course…’

‘Was I really caught on camera or were you just saying that to shake Joshua up?’

‘Oh you two were live-streaming all right. I think there’ll be some sweet dreams tonight among the guys tonight.’

‘Well…’ Alice fluffed her hair, then laughed but it sounded hollow and her hand shook. ‘I aim to please.’

‘We should probably get out of here before you get asked for an encore.’ We? Thankfully Alice appeared too distracted to notice his slip. ‘Are you parked out front?’

‘Yes?’ she said, her tone turning it into a question.

‘Great. I’ll walk with you.’

She eyed him cautiously. ‘Why?’

He wanted to tell her the real reason: that he wanted to ensure she got away safely, but the tension in her jaw and the glare in her eye told him it wouldn’t be appreciated. ‘How else would I be able to work on you for a lift home?’

Her eyes widened before she could blank her surprise. ‘You mean I’ll actually get to drive my own car this time?’

‘Sure, why not? I like to live dangerously once in a while.’

‘Hey!’

‘What?’ he said, answering her challenge her with his best grin.

‘Oh fine.’ All tension gone, her mood had lifted too much to pull off being outraged. She relented and walked towards him, returning his broad grin, then linked her arm through the crook of his elbow.

Zac took it as the signal for him to escort her out, only to be met with a chorus of jeers and whistles the instant he opened the door. Hordes of staff loitered outside the meeting room, all vying to get a look at Alice. ‘Shit.’

‘Wow, you weren’t kidding,’ she whispered. Her grip tightened imperceptibly on his arm and triggered his protective streak.

‘C’mon on. Let’s blow this joint.’ Zac tugged on her arm and bustled her down the corridor as fast as her heels allowed. He didn’t slow down until they’d cleared the foyer and were out of the front doors.

‘No way.’ Alice yanked on his arm, back-tracking to take shelter under the entrance from the rain still pouring from the sky.

Zac scanned the car park, glad to see the pink monstrosity of a car parked nearby. ‘Come on, it’s not far.’

‘OK.’ Alice nodded and they set off again.

Zac slipped and slopped in his pool sandals across the car park, keeping pace with Alice’s fast trot until they reached the shelter of her car. He dived into the passenger seat and watched Alice lower her barely covered body backwards onto the driver’s seat before swinging her legs into the car.

Warmth seeped into his cheeks as the memory of those long and lithe limbs wrapped around Josh’s waist flashed into Zac’s mind. He closed his eyes and briskly shook the images away.

‘Hey, stop it,’ Alice protested. ‘If I wanted to get wetter, I’d have stayed outside.’

‘Huh?’ Zac froze. He opened his eyes and noticed the windows were now splattered with water inside as well as out. Along with Alice. ‘Shit, I’m sorry.’

Alice turned over the ignition and turned to heaters up to full. ‘You’re worse than a dog.’ Rain-soaked hair clung to her face as she rubbed her hands over her arms to brush away the newest drops, then turned her attention to the rivulets running down what had to be silky smooth legs.

Zac followed the trail of water all the way over her shins and down to her feet. Parched from the sudden heat coursing through him, he coughed to clear his throat and captured her attention.

‘What? Have I got mud on me or something?’

‘No, I was looking at your shoes,’ he said, lamely latching onto anything to deflect where his mind threatened to take him.

‘You—a guy—were looking at my shoes?’ she asked, shooting him the raised eyebrow.

‘Yes. Me. I was trying to work out how you can actually drive in those things?’ he said, nodding to her feet to divert her attention away from his glowing face.

‘It’s easy,’ she said, pouting as she pushed the offending wet tendrils of hair behind her ears. To prove her point, she popped the clutch despite her heels and slipped the car into first gear, then pulled away smoothly.

‘I take it back.’

‘I always wear heels,’ she explained, navigating her way out of the car park. ‘Well, nearly always,’ she corrected, darting him a shy glance. At least it wasn’t just his face steaming the windows up any more. ‘Where to then?’

His brain took a moment to catch up. ‘Richmond Road. Do you know it?’

‘Yep.’ Alice made her way onto the bypass and motored along with the wipers going full speed against the rain lashing the windscreen.

Some way in the distance, Zac spotted a lonely figure walking along the grass verge. Whoever it was had no coat and had to be soaked. The next swipe of the wipers revealed that the unfortunate sod was Josh. Unluckily for him, Alice had recognised who it was too. She put her foot down hard on the accelerator and veered towards him, timing her approach to perfection to spray a huge puddle all over him.

Partly out of concern but mostly for the comedy value, Zac peered over his shoulder. Laughter burst out of his chest as a bedraggled Josh stood stock still, his mouth gaping open in shock as he watched the Barbie car whizz away from the scene of the crime. ‘Alice, you’re pure evil,’ Zac said, still chuckling as he turned back to face the front.

‘Why? What have I done now?’ Alice asked, oh-so-innocently.

‘Just remind me never to get in your bad books, OK?’

‘Oh, come off it, Joshua’s a lowlife. You’re nothing like him, Zac.’ She tensed and darted a glance at him as she spoke, as if to gauge his reaction so he kept his eyes forward and his expression neutral. ‘No decent guy cheats on his girlfriend, especially with the likes of me,’ she continued, tightening her grip on the steering wheel so much her knuckles turned white.

‘Er…thanks,’ Zac deadpanned, spouting the first thing that came to mind. ‘I think.’ He couldn’t argue with the Josh-being-a-lowlife part, but as for the likes-of-me part Zac wasn’t so sure.

Alice instantly relaxed. ‘You’re welcome,’ she said, disarming him with a playful smirk that made the corners of her eyes crinkle before her gaze drifted back to the windscreen to give the road her full attention.

Relieved to have passed the test, Zac let his head flop back against the headrest and stared at the soft-top roof. How could sharing a ride home be so exhausting yet so unbelievably exhilarating at the same time? Christ, every time he thought he’d got a step closer to figuring Alice out, she’d do something unexpected and become even more of a puzzle. One that he desperately wanted to solve.

Chapter seven

Blues

Alice

Out of the corner of my eye, I risked a glance at Zac. His head lay tilted head back against the headrest, staring up and seemingly lost in thought. If it weren’t for his eyes being open, I could have been fooled into thinking he’d fallen asleep. Shame. It would at least have accounted for his lack of conversation; several minutes had passed and still he hadn’t spoken.

In the funereal hush of my car, it was a wonder I couldn’t hear his heartbeat let alone my own erratic beat above the constant drumming sound of rain. The way my pulse ticked in my fingertips, I could have joined the percussion just by hovering my hands over the drum skins. Like I needed any more distractions when simply having Zac in the car did the job so brilliantly.

Christ knows why, but I really wanted to impress him with my driving skills, especially after his comment about my shoes, yet the weather tried its best to thwart me. At last, I turned off the scary-as-fuck-in-the-sluicing-rain bypass onto a slower stretch of road and could reduce the angry swoosh of the wiper to a less-aggressive swish.

I relaxed my grip on the wheel and shot another look at the super-silent Zac. He must have sensed my movement because he turned his head and caught me in the act.

‘You OK?’ he asked.

‘Me?’ I squawked. ‘Yeah, I’m fine. You?’

‘Er…if you say so.’ Zac grinned but I was too busy cringing at the total garbage tripping out of my mouth. ‘What’s got you all in a tizz?’

‘Nothing,’ I snapped.

‘Right,’ he said, drawing out the word and coaxing a half-smile out of me. ‘Cos this isn’t awkward at all. Should I stick to talking about the weather?’

‘Oh no, must we?’ I said, finally accepting his attempt to break the ice.

‘Good. You see, I’ve been thinking—’

‘Steady now.’

‘Ha!’ He nudged me in the ribs with his elbow. ‘Since I don’t have to talk about this bloody awful weather, can I ask you about your plans for tonight instead?’

‘My plans?’ I asked, forcing myself to keep the wheel straight and my attention on the road.

‘Yeah, your plans.’

‘Um…’ Where was he going with this? ‘I don’t have any.’

‘Great.’

‘Thanks a lot, Zac.’

‘No, I mean great for me.’

‘And how is that exactly?’ I said coolly, which took a considerable amount of effort.

‘I know this is going to sound odd, you know, after everything that happened back there with Josh but…’ Zac’s voice trailed off.

‘But?’ I prompted, not wanting to give him the chance to talk himself out of whatever he’d intended to say. In my peripheral vision, I saw him turn his head to face me.

‘Right. Um… Please don’t take this the wrong way.’

‘OK,’ I said, trying to move things along.

‘How would you feel about coming out with me?’

‘Out? With you?’

‘Just as friends,’ he added, in an effort to clarify his motives.

‘What would your girlfriend say?’ I asked, shooting him a knowing look.

‘I don’t have one.’

‘What?’ My foot slipped off the accelerator and I stalled the car. ‘How come? Since when?’

Zac humoured me by not commenting—or pleading to be let out—so I gunned the engine to keep us moving and pretended it never happened. ‘She dumped me. Not long after I met you actually.’

‘No way?’ I almost stalled again and had to scramble to regain control over myself as much as the car. ‘What did you do?’

‘Hey!’ He crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I didn’t do anything, thank you very much.’

‘Then why?’

Zac sighed. ‘It just wasn’t to be, she was hung up on somebody else.’

‘Ouch, that’s a bummer.’

‘Yeah.’ His voice held sadness and resignation, matched by his frown, but then his tone brightened. ‘But it does leave me with a spare ticket for tonight if you fancy it?’

‘A ticket for what? I’m guessing you’re not talking football.’

‘No. It’s tickets for a jazz club.’

‘Nice.’ My eyebrows were at risk of whiplash the way they were up and down like yo-yos. ‘Why me though, Zac? You must have your pick of girls.’

‘Ha! If you say so,’ he said. ‘But even if I did, they might mistake it for a date.’

‘And that’s not what this is? A date, I mean.’

‘God, no,’ he blurted. ‘My head’s a mess so the last thing I want right now is another girlfriend. It’s just two friends, like I said, going out to celebrate.’

‘What am I supposed to be celebrating?’

‘Ah, of course, you wouldn’t know. Well…’ He paused for dramatic effect. ‘Today just so happens to be my birthday.’

‘Oh I see. Then I guess I should wish you a happy birthday?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Happy birthday, Zac.’

‘Thank you, Alice.’

‘And you’re sure you want to go with me tonight, even after what you saw today?’

‘Sure, why not? If nothing else, it’ll give us something to talk about,’ he said, matter-of-factly. ‘By the way, that’s my road coming up on the left so can you hurry up and make up your mind? It would be a shame to waste valuable time driving around the block when we could be getting ready.’

‘You’d really make me keep driving?’

‘Either that or stage a sit-in.’

‘Fine.’ I made the left turn. ‘Which house is yours?’

‘The one with the Land Rover in the driveway.’

‘I see it,’ I said, following the direction of his finger.

‘So what’s it to be?’ Zac asked, swivelling in his seat to face me. He certainly seemed keen. What was the worst that could happen? I’d already dipped my toe into the murky waters of friendship and I genuinely enjoyed his company.

‘I suppose it would be rude of me to turn you down on your birthday?’

‘You suppose correctly,’ he said, sounding serious.

‘OK, fine.’ I brought the car to a halt outside his house and turned to face him. ‘I’ll go out with you, Zac, but only because it’s a special occasion.’

‘Yes!’ he hissed, totally over-exaggerating it. ‘If we’re quick enough, we should be able to grab dinner first if you fancy it?’

‘Works for me.’

‘Excellent.’ Zac unclipped his seatbelt and reached for the door handle but then stopped. ‘How should we do this? Do you want to go on home and get ready and I’ll pick you up from there or—’

‘Go on home?’ I turned on the sad puppy eyes, desperately trying to keep a straight face. ‘You mean you don’t like what I’m wearing?’

Zac’s bright smile slipped, as I’d hoped, and I could practically see the cogs whirring as he tried to extract his foot from his mouth. ‘Well, er…it’s not to my particular taste,’ he said, recovering fast. ‘I could never pull it off despite my great legs and I really don’t have the cleavage for it.’

‘Is that so?’

‘More to the point, I don’t fancy getting into any fights tonight yet with you in that outfit I’d have no choice but to fend off a load of other men to protect your honour.’

‘My honour?’ I pressed my lips together but failed to hold back the harsh laugh. ‘I’m afraid you’re a couple of years too late to protect that,’ I spluttered. ‘You can relax though, I was only kidding about getting ready.’

‘Are you sure?’ he asked.

‘I’m sure.’

‘Honestly, you don’t have to change on my account.’

Now that I wasn’t so sure about.

‘No, really.’ I shifted in my seat. ‘This outfit has served its purpose.’

‘Ah.’ A hooded look fell over his eyes until he blinked it away. ‘So shall I come and pick you up?’

‘No, don’t be daft. I’m miles out of the way. Why don’t I come back here as soon as I’m ready since I can’t have a drink anyway?’

‘Sounds great. I’ll see you soon then?’ A hint of uncertainty crept into his voice, suggesting he had insecurities of his own to contend with.

‘I’ll be here,’ I said, locking eye contact with him. ‘After all, it’s your birthday.’

‘Yes it is.’ With that, he smiled and climbed out of the car. Light and agile on his feet, he dodged puddles with ease, almost dancing, as he dashed through the rain in his flip-flops to reach his front door. He turned back to wave just once before disappearing inside.

Already mentally planning what to wear, I pulled away from the kerb and headed home. My outfit needed to be something simple—I didn’t have time for anything else—but the rare opportunity to drop the act had presented itself. Zac had already seen me au naturel with Charlie and then all tramped-up with Joshua, so maybe the time had come to leave the mask at home and show Zac my more elegant, refined side?

Showered and stripped of my mask, I left my hair loose and opted for a natural, more demure look as I re-applied my make-up. Determined to let my outfit do the talking, I slipped into my gorgeous silver dress and gently tugged on the zip. The thigh-high split would be deemed ‘outrageously daring’ on anybody else and had been that way for me when I’d bought it. Intended for my end-of-year school prom, I’d got myself kicked out before I got the chance to wear it.

Finally getting its first outing, the dress bordered on positively conservative these days and showed a lot less skin than my usual choice of outfit. Ideally, I’d have teamed it with my matching sparkly heels but the rain put paid to strappy sandals so I went with my clear shoes that looked like glass slippers.

A final check in the mirror reflected a totally different girl to the one who’d stood in front of the glass earlier. Dressed to impress, I ignored the shiver of terror that begged me to go back and grab my lenses and pulled my bedroom door shut behind me.

For one night only, could the real Alice Taylor please step forward.

Less than an hour after dropping Zac off at home, I pulled up outside his house again. In hindsight we should have exchanged numbers so I could text to reassure him and let him know I was on my way. It still smarted that he thought I’d go back on my word. I may be many unpleasant things, but being a flake wasn’t one of them.

The lack of number and drawn curtains meant Zac had no way of knowing I was outside, but damned if I was going out into the rain to knock on his door. I gave two short blasts on my car horn instead. The downstairs curtain twitched before I’d taken my hand off the horn as though he’d been standing there just waiting for some kind of signal.

Zac’s head appeared in the window, bathed in light. He smiled when he saw my car then the curtain fell back across the window. Within seconds the room went dark and the front door opened. A large golf umbrella emerged first, blocking most of the doorway as it opened but then it lifted skyward to reveal Zac, suited and booted with his shirt open at the collar.

Omigod.

Water pooled in my mouth in competition with the deepest puddles of rain, forcing me to swallow twice to clear it. I could feel my eyes bugging out at the drop-dead gorgeous guy making his way to my car. Suits were most definitely my ‘thing’ so it wasn’t like I had any control over my reaction, plus it was the first time I’d ever seen Zac dressed in something other than sportswear.

Zac reached the car and flung the door open, triggering the cabin lights. ‘Hey, Alice.’

‘Hey yourself, Zac.’ In light of the facts, I immediately forgave myself for the sudden case of butterflies that fluttered in my stomach.

He slid into the seat with his back to me, keeping the umbrella over him until both highly polished shoes were in the car. ‘I thought this might come in handy,’ he said, shaking the brolly out before stowing it between his seat and the door.

‘Good plan,’ I murmured, distracted by the fragrance that wafted over me as Zac pulled the door closed to seal us in. As he reached for his seatbelt, I inhaled deeply, losing myself in the woodsy scent that reminded me of the forest near where I grew up after a heavy downpour.

How ironic considering our previous two meetings: trees and rain. Unfortunately, it did nothing to settle the now frantic flapping in my gut. Up close, his metallic grey suit complemented my silver evening dress as if we’d been planning the event for weeks. Between us, we made quite the impact and were sure to turn heads wherever we went.

A frisson of excitement raced from my head to my toe; the anticipation building as I waited for him to notice me. ‘You ready then?’ I asked, keeping my gaze to the front.

‘Yep, let’s g—’ His voice cut off abruptly and I knew it was because he’d seen me for the first time.

‘What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?’ I lifted my leg to pop the clutch and my skirt separated, revealing a flash of leg.

Zac gasped.

I turned my head to look at him, desperate to see his reaction. His eyes were wide and I caught him closing his mouth as if his jaw had dropped open. It got harder and harder to hold back my ginormous grin so I allowed myself a little smirk. ‘You’re looking good, Zac.’

‘You too, Alice.’ He lifted his gaze to meet mine, slowly as though taking in every detail, and a range of emotions played across his face: shock, awe, even desire—which got my blood racing—before settling on something resembling pride. ‘You too.’

‘Thank you,’ I said, my voice filled with enough warmth and sincerity to surprise both of us so I cleared my throat and reached for the gearstick.

We drove in silence for the first few minutes but then Zac broke the deadlock.

‘Do you fancy Chinese or Italian?’

‘Either works for me. Why don’t you choose, seeing as it’s your birthday?’

‘Italian it is, then.’ He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a phone. The glow reflected off the windscreen as he scrolled through the numbers before lifting his phone to ear. ‘Hi, I’d like to make a reservation for two please,’ he said, adopting a more formal voice to speak into the handset. A pause. ‘In about half an hour?’ Another pause. ‘Yes, it’s Isaac Newton.’ Say what? ‘Thanks, that’s great. Bye.’

I pounced the instant he ended the call. ‘Isaac Newton?’

‘Yep, that’s my name,’ he said, pocketing his phone.

‘Right. So what else don’t I know about you?’

Of all the dumb questions.

Zac bit back a grin. ‘Oh, let’s see now… I prefer to be called Zac for obvious reasons.’ Yeah, I could hardly blame him on that one. ‘I’m twenty-two, as of today of course, and I have one older brother called Thomas. I left home at eighteen to go to university and now have a degree in Sports Psychology. I am a fully qualified lifeguard, swimming coach and personal trainer, and one day I’d like to have my own gym,’ he said, pausing to draw breath. ‘Oh and my parents expect me home for Sunday dinner at least once a month. Your turn…’

Shit.

I wanted to kick myself, or maybe ram the car into the nearest tree. Anything to get out of the mess I’d gotten myself into. Barely minutes into the journey and I’d gone and walked right into a self-inflicted trap like a complete moron. How could I have been so stupid?

‘Problem?’ Zac asked, picking up on the hitch in my breath.

‘No, no,’ I blurted, when really I wanted to yell ‘yes!’ My palms grew clammy and stuck to the steering wheel. I didn’t want to lie to Zac, not yet at any rate, which meant I somehow had to find a way to talk about myself without giving too much away.

‘OK, here goes…my name is Alice, no nicknames, at least none that I’d care to share.’ Like ‘Malice’ for instance. ‘I’m seventeen and I dropped out of college this year. Long story but as you’ve probably gathered, my home life is complicated and my family even more so—’

Zac opened his mouth to interrupt.

I raised my hand off the wheel to stop him. ‘However I’d rather not talk about it because I really don’t want to lie to you.’

He closed his mouth hard enough for his teeth to clash together.

‘I’m a full-time waitress at a hotel,’ I continued. ‘It isn’t great and the money sucks, but the tips can be good and, seeing as I don’t have any better ideas, it’ll do for now.’ As an afterthought, I added, ‘And I’m a vegetarian.’

Zac said nothing: no reply or comment whatsoever but I could feel his gaze boring into the side of my head. ‘Well, I’m glad we got that all clear and out of the way,’ he said eventually, presumably when he failed to lift the missing answers directly out of brain. ‘Now answer me this…’ Oh God, what now? ‘What do you think of jazz?’

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