He’s fighting to reclaim his family.

And he’s playing to win.

Two years ago, Sam Bailey lost the two people who mattered most. Now his daughter needs him. Despite their still-powerful attraction, Tara isn’t ready to trust her estranged husband again. But Sam sees a chance to fight for their future, to redeem himself in Tara’s eyes. He needs them to be a family again—even better and stronger than before...

USA TODAY bestselling author JULES BENNETT has published over sixty books and never tires of writing happy endings. Creating strong heroines and alpha heroes is Jules’s favorite way to spend her workdays. Jules hosts weekly contests on her Facebook fan page and loves chatting with readers on Twitter, Facebook and via email through her website. Stay up-to-date by signing up for her newsletter at julesbennett.com.

Also by Jules Bennett

Return to Stonerock

The Cowboy’s Second-Chance Family

The St. Johns of Stonerock

Dr. Daddy’s Perfect Christmas

The Fireman’s Ready-Made Family

From Best Friend to Bride

What the Prince Wants

A Royal Amnesia Scandal

Maid for a Magnate

His Secret Baby Bombshell

Best Man Under the Mistletoe

Married in Name Only

The Rancher’s Heirs

Twin Secrets

Claimed by the Rancher

Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk.

For Their Child’s Sake

Jules Bennett

www.millsandboon.co.uk

ISBN: 978-1-474-09122-0

FOR THEIR CHILD’S SAKE

© 2019 Jules Bennett

Published in Great Britain 2019

by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF

All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.

By payment of the required fees, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right and licence to download and install this e-book on your personal computer, tablet computer, smart phone or other electronic reading device only (each a “Licensed Device”) and to access, display and read the text of this e-book on-screen on your Licensed Device. Except to the extent any of these acts shall be permitted pursuant to any mandatory provision of applicable law but no further, no part of this e-book or its text or images may be reproduced, transmitted, distributed, translated, converted or adapted for use on another file format, communicated to the public, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of publisher.

® and ™ are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.

www.millsandboon.co.uk

“For the sake of Marley, we will both be sleeping in this bed.”

Tara quirked a brow. “For her sake?”

“She still has nightmares,” Sam told her. “If she crawls into bed and I’m sleeping on the floor or on the sofa, do you want to answer all those questions? This will get better,” he assured her as he pulled his shirt over his head. “I’m confident her memories will...”

Sam lost all train of thought at the sight of Tara staring at his exposed chest.

“This won’t work,” she muttered. “I mean, I’m still attracted to you, but I don’t want to be.”

Dear Reader,

The wait is over! Sam and Tara are here, along with their sweet daughter, Marley. I wanted to do a spin on the traditional amnesia story, so I hope you love this journey.

If you read The Cowboy’s Second-Chance Family and From Best Friend to Daddy, then you have already met Sam and Tara. This dynamic couple has truly been through so much and they are finally going to get their happy ending...after jumping a few more hurdles, of course.

Sam is one determined man and he wants his family back. I don’t believe I’ve ever written a stronger hero, and Tara...well, she’s afraid of getting hurt again. She might be a little hard on Sam, but that all stems from past pain.

I hope this book touches you as much as it did me. Addiction is a very serious topic and one I feel has touched nearly every family in one way or another.

In this final installment of my Return to Stonerock series, I promise all the feels and a few “aww” moments as Sam and Tara learn to love again and rebuild their marriage stronger than ever.

Happy reading,

Jules

To anyone who has struggled with addiction of

any kind, there is hope. You are not forgotten.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

About the Author

Booklist

Title Page

Copyright

Introduction

Dear Reader

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Epilogue

Extract

About the Publisher

Chapter One

“Just tell us the prognosis.”

Sam Bailey had been on an emotional roller coaster the past two years. And now, huddled in a small consultation room at Mercy Hospital in Stonerock, Tennessee, waiting to hear the diagnosis of his five-year-old daughter while sitting next to the wife who’d left him...well, Sam’s nerves were flat-out shot.

Dr. Benson displayed a glossy page with several images. “You can see on Marley’s CT scan that everything appears to be in good shape.”

Actually, Sam couldn’t see that because he was an architect, not a doctor.

“If things are good, then why did you bring us in here?” Tara asked. “I want to be with my daughter.”

His wife sat too close, smelled too good and was clutching the strap of her purse like it was the only thing keeping her grounded. If they were a normal couple, he’d reach out and take her white-knuckled hand to offer support. If they were a normal couple, they would’ve driven here together when the school called and said that Marley had hit her head when she fell from the playground equipment at a party on the last day of a summer school program.

If they were a normal couple, he wouldn’t have divorce papers waiting for his signature just below where his wife had already signed away their marriage.

“Marley is a lively little girl. I can tell from the time I spent with her doing my assessment. This fall could have been much worse.” Dr. Benson shifted his focus from Sam to Tara. “A head trauma can cause multiple issues and some aren’t seen by simply looking at the outward appearance.”

“Just say it,” Sam demanded. “What’s wrong with my daughter?”

Technically, she was his adopted daughter. When he’d met Tara, Marley had just turned two. He’d fallen in love with both raven-haired beauties and quickly made them his family. Marley was his in every single way that mattered. Even if Sam and Tara’s marriage was one signature away from the end, Marley was still his.

Sam couldn’t figure out what was actually wrong with her, though. He’d seen Marley, he’d talked to her. She showed him where her head hurt and the scrapes on her legs from the fall.

She’d been talking just fine and even asked when they could go home. So why the cryptic chat in private?

“I consulted with another colleague,” the doctor went on. “We both believe Marley has retrograde amnesia.”

The doctor’s words took a moment to sink in. Sam wasn’t sure what retrograde amnesia was, but he sure as hell knew the term amnesia. Marley had fallen off the top of a slide and hit her head on the pole holding up the ladder. Amnesia? Wasn’t that a term used in movies? This was real life—this was his daughter’s life.

“Amnesia?” Tara’s whispered question had an underlying hint of denial. “But I talked to her. She called me Mommy and talked like she always does. She didn’t seem confused.”

The doctor nodded. “She’s not right now. Retrograde amnesia is where the patient is missing a portion of time, so unless you asked her about something specific, she wouldn’t know she was missing the memory. RA patients have retained information in their minds. In Marley’s case she knows her parents, where she lives, her favorite toy. Those are all things that have been a constant in her life. But she’s not aware she’s finished kindergarten. She remembers being in preschool, which isn’t part of the camp she’s in today. She remembers the two of you marrying—or, at least, the pictures from that day and memories you’ve discussed with her since she was little. She’s chatted quite a bit with me, but from listening, she’s lost the last year of her life.”

An entire year? His daughter was only five years old and she’d lost twenty percent of her life? How did something as common as a fall on the playground result in his baby girl being robbed of her memories?

Sam struggled to wrap his thoughts, his emotions, around this moment. How the hell had they landed here? How had he and Tara gone from the happiest, most loving couple to being separated and now dealing with Marley having amnesia? Life could spin out of control in an instant and he was more than done with the ride.

An accident of his own had stolen the life he and Tara had created. Little by little, the addiction chipped away until he’d left Tara no choice but to leave and protect their daughter.

And now look where they were. Him clean and sober for a year, holding down a steady job he was proud of, and desperately wanting his family to be whole again. He hadn’t even been sure that was possible, but now his baby girl...

“We want another opinion,” Sam stated, shifting in his seat.

Damn it. He’d gotten his life together; he’d overcome addiction and was ready to fight for his family, to get them back to where they used to be before pills destroyed them. He might have lost Tara, but that didn’t mean he was abandoning them. He planned on being a provider, damn it. He would make this up to them, even if he’d killed any chance of being Tara’s husband again.

Panic stirred at the thought of his sweet Marley totally unaware of what she faced. His sole purpose and goal over the past year had been to repair his life, Tara’s and Marley’s lives. How the hell did he fix this? He was her father. He was supposed to fix things when she got hurt or was sad.

“Wanting another opinion is understandable.” Dr. Benson slid the images into Marley’s medical folder. “As I stated before, I consulted with one of my colleagues and his prognosis was the same. I’m a parent myself, so I understand the concern and the fear.”

“Does she know?” Sam asked, swallowing his own worry so he could focus on finding a quick fix. Unfortunately, he had a sinking feeling there was no quick or easy fix. This sounded like something that could only be healed by time.

Dr. Benson shook his head. “I wanted to discuss everything with the two of you and let you figure out how to tell her. The news would be best coming from the people she’s closest to.”

Sam glanced to Tara. Tears slid down her face as she stared at the doctor. She’d shed too many tears because of him and his selfish actions. He didn’t even remember the last time he saw her smile, and every single time she hurt, it gutted him.

Unable to watch her suffer alone, Sam reached across for her hand, which she quickly pulled away. The rejection wasn’t a surprise. Knowing Tara would rather face this unknown future with Marley’s medical issue than accept his touch stung...but why had he expected her to let him in? He deserved nothing.

“What can we do for her?” Tara swiped at her damp cheeks before smoothing her wavy hair behind her shoulders. “How can we make her memories return?”

“You’re going to want to make her life as stress-free as possible,” Dr. Benson stated simply. “Right now she’s floating around the time frame when she was about three or so. She’s a happy girl. When I asked about her home life to see what she recalled, she mentioned her dog, Daisy, that the two of you just got married and that you guys were planning a beach vacation.”

Sam’s heart sank. She’d been at the altar with them when they married—that was one thing he’d insisted on. Her dog had been hit by a car when Sam hadn’t fixed the back door and she’d gotten out and darted after a stray cat. And that beach vacation was supposed to have taken place right after she turned four. Everything happy in her memory bank had been tarnished. He’d done that. He’d ruined her childhood.

When pills had overtaken Sam’s life, taking priority over his family, and he’d missed her fourth birthday party, Tara had officially had enough and kicked him out. There had gone the loving beach vacation as a family.

“I’d say with a stable home life and doing what you always did as a family, Marley will have a better chance at regaining her memories. But whatever was going on when she was three will have to be going on now, I’m afraid. Slowly her memory should return, but the mind is so complex, we just don’t know.”

Sam’s thoughts tumbled into each other as he tried to figure out exactly what all of this meant. Dr. Benson had no clue he and Tara were separated, and at the time Marley was three their family hadn’t quite started falling apart yet. So as far as his daughter was concerned, her parents were still happily married and Daisy the faithful dog was alive and well.

Damn it.

Perhaps they could find a new Daisy dog for her. But the marriage? He didn’t want to make things more difficult for Tara. If she was constantly questioned...it would make a bad situation even more uncomfortable. There was no way he would make her life that much more unbearable. From the moment he’d gotten clean and sober, Sam had vowed to do whatever he could to make Tara’s and Marley’s lives better...even if that meant he wasn’t living under the same roof...though that was exactly what he wanted. More than anything.

Tara might have pushed him out of their home, out of the marriage, but that act of tough love had been the exact slap in the face he’d needed to make him seek help. Losing his family, his life, had utterly destroyed him.

Sam had always heard the term rock bottom, and losing everything he held precious had no doubt been his bottom. Through counseling, he realized now that no one could heal him until he actually wanted to be healed. Damn, he’d been so selfish for so long.

Would they all be in this predicament if he hadn’t turned to pills to cope with life? Would his daughter be fine?

He honestly had no reason to think this was his fault, but he needed to place the blame somewhere and his shoulders already carried the brunt of the load of his screwed-up life.

“When can I take her home?” Tara asked, cutting into his wandering thoughts.

I. Not we.

Sam wasn’t about to correct her, not here. But there was no way he’d let either of the ladies he loved go through this without him. He would be the foundation in this family once again and he’d make damn sure Marley got the best care and recovered fully. Clearly, Tara didn’t want him around, but that was too damn bad. Not only did Marley need taking care of, but Tara couldn’t do all of this alone—and she shouldn’t have to.

Above his need to prove to Tara that he was a different man, their little girl and her condition had to come first. Those initial goals after becoming sober were now completely different. Sam hated the thought of telling his innocent daughter what had happened. She was so young. How could she possibly understand what all of this meant? He was thirty-six and could barely wrap his mind around this whole amnesia thing himself.

“We will keep her here overnight,” Dr. Benson told Tara. “One of you can stay with her and she will be dismissed first thing in the morning, provided there are no surprises. I scheduled a repeat CT scan for later tonight to double-check for swelling. I suspect it will be clear, but with children and head traumas, unexpected things pop up and I’m taking precautions.”

“I’ll stay,” Tara stated.

Again, Sam wasn’t going to argue. Besides, Marley would want her mother here. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make provisions for when they returned home. Already he’d started planning and plotting.

Sam would make sure Marley got her memories restored, then he’d prove to Tara that he’d changed and he was able to provide for his family. Life might have knocked him down, but he was coming back now, stronger than ever.

Chapter Two

“Can I have ice cream?”

Tara stepped inside her two-story cottage, ushering Marley ahead of her. “Let’s shoot for a good breakfast first and getting you settled.”

The hospital had just started coming around with breakfast trays but the second Marley had gotten her discharge papers, they’d been out of there. Tara wanted to make her daughter breakfast at home; at least that would feel like getting some normalcy in this waking nightmare.

Sam came in behind her and closed the door. He carried a bundle of balloons with a bear that Marley’s camp had sent to the hospital. He also held the overnight bag he’d thoughtfully packed and brought to her since she’d been staying all night. The fact he brought her a phone charger, the paperback from her nightstand, a brush, some comfortable clothes...

Part of her warmed at the idea of his trying to care for her. But now he was in her home, what used to be their home. Sam’s affection for her had never been the issue. He could care for her and still not put their lives first. She wasn’t taking him back, would never take that risk again, and now sure as hell wasn’t the time to even think of such things.

Tara couldn’t concentrate on her estranged husband or the mixed emotions she still carried around. She didn’t want to think about how attentive he’d been all evening in the hospital, then showing up early this morning because he didn’t want them to be alone and he’d wanted to speak to the doctor in person.

He’d also insisted on following her and Marley home. He’d pulled her aside and told her he’d talked to his boss and was taking most of the next week off work. They still hadn’t told Marley anything was wrong with her memory. They’d agreed to get her home, get her settled and play things by ear. They didn’t want to worry her more than necessary.

And that’s precisely what Tara needed to focus on—her daughter’s recovery. Because if Tara let her fears and the unknown ending to this diagnosis consume her, she’d collapse into Sam’s arms and cling to the fairy tale that she’d once believed they had.

Falling into her husband’s arms was the last thing she should do. They were over. She’d made that clear when she’d kicked him out the night of Marley’s fourth birthday when he’d come home after missing the party. She could tell he’d been using and that had been the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.

She’d wanted to help him. Of course she had; she was his wife. More important, she was a counselor. She’d offered him multiple names to contact, but he hadn’t wanted to help himself, so there was nothing she could’ve said or done. Her family, her marriage couldn’t stay intact if only one person held everything together.

Over the past year since their separation, though, he’d checked himself into rehab in Knoxville, gotten clean and made no bones about the fact he wanted to make up for the man he’d been. He wanted to show her and Marley that he could take care of them. He’d even told her he didn’t blame her for pushing him away, but he wasn’t going to ignore his duties as their provider.

Why did he have to make things so difficult?

Case in point...the unsigned divorce papers. If he’d sign those then maybe she’d feel free, but as things stood now, she wasn’t free and she didn’t want him to think for even a second that she couldn’t manage on her own.

“I went to the store.”

Sam’s words pulled her from her thoughts. He stepped around Tara and picked Marley up; her squeal echoed through the foyer.

And just like that, Tara’s memories flooded through. She had no clue where Marley’s mind was, but Tara couldn’t ignore the rush of emotions that accompanied this entire déjà vu scene.

“Your favorite strawberry ice cream is in the freezer and I’m making tacos for dinner, Marmaid.”

He always called her Marmaid for her love of the ocean and mermaids, plus her name. Only Sam called her that...the special bond between father and daughter couldn’t be severed. Unlike Sam and Tara’s marriage.

Tara stood in place, watching Sam’s retreating form, remembering all those times he’d carried Marley around while shopping, at the annual carnival, when she’d fall asleep on the couch and he’d taken her up to bed.

Tara desperately wished she could erase her own memories of the past year. Maybe then this constant ache deep in her chest wouldn’t be so all-consuming. Just because she’d pushed him away in a tough-love moment to make him focus on getting sober didn’t mean she didn’t still love him. That’s what hurt most of all—she would always love Sam. She simply couldn’t let him in their lives again.

Wait. Sam’s parting words finally sank in. He was making dinner? As in, he wasn’t leaving anytime soon, considering they’d just been discussing breakfast?

“You can do this for Marley,” Tara whispered to herself.

The doctor had told them they needed to make things as normal as possible and as far as Marley was concerned, her parents were still living happily ever after. Thankfully her daughter didn’t recall the fourth birthday party that her father never made or that he’d shown up later that night completely out of touch with reality. Maybe this temporary memory loss was somewhat of a blessing. At least her daughter only had happy thoughts of Sam.

A motivational pep talk was necessary. How else would Tara get through having Sam in her home for the entire day? Her attraction to him hadn’t diminished. Their chemistry had never been in question. No, the problem was he’d been a workaholic, pushing himself so she could stay home because he’d thought that’s what made her happy. Not that he expected her to cook and clean and keep the house perfect. He wasn’t archaic, by any means, and fully believed they were equals on every level.

All of that work and stress ultimately led to his accident, which rolled into his pill addiction, and the downfall of the best life.

Sam had always been a devoted man and wanted to be the provider. He wanted Tara to have the freedom to do anything she wanted. He’d urged her to explore her love of art. He’d grown up an only child with a widowed mother who worked too hard to provide for her son. He’d said he never wanted his wife to feel that kind of pressure.

Damn it. She wished he’d never shown her how perfect their lives could be. Part of her wished she’d never married him. Harsh thoughts, but she’d experienced the beauty of marriage with Sam...then he ripped it all away.

Tara wasn’t sure she’d ever recover from the pain.

Pushing the past out of her thoughts, Tara focused on the here and now. She desperately needed a shower and a change of clothes.

Even though Sam had brought her yoga pants and a sweatshirt, sleeping in the vinyl chair that posed as a pullout bed had left Tara feeling not so clean or rested.

Needing to take five minutes to regroup and gather her thoughts about everything swirling around in her mind, Tara mounted the steps to her master suite. She and Sam had renovated it when they’d married, turning one of the bedrooms into a giant adjoining bath.

But as soon as she crossed the threshold to her room, she froze. A large, black, menacing suitcase sat on her bed. She knew that suitcase; she’d bought that extra suitcase for their beach trip that never came to fruition.

Dread curled low in her belly.

He wouldn’t.

Tara knew exactly what she’d find in the luggage he’d parked on her side of the mattress. As she crossed to her king-sized bed, she attempted to take in deep, slow breaths, but nothing calmed her nerves.

With a shaky hand she reached for the zipper. She flipped the top and stared at perfectly folded jeans, tees, underwear, running shoes...

Sam’s things. They even smelled like him. That familiar woodsy scent wafted up and assaulted her senses, making her stomach clench with...what? She couldn’t even label her emotions at this point—there were simply too many.

Blowing out a sigh, Tara closed her eyes and dropped her head between her shoulders. This was not happening. It couldn’t be happening. No way was Sam staying here. He could come and go as often as he wanted. She’d certainly never denied him any involvement with Marley. On that they had always agreed. But he would not be staying in her home while Marley recovered.

Surely he wasn’t using Marley’s condition to try to come back? He hadn’t signed the divorce papers, so did that mean he thought there was a chance? He hadn’t made a move on her since coming out of rehab; he hadn’t tried to push his way into their lives. In all honesty, he’d been the perfect gentleman. She hadn’t known what to expect. They’d been so passionate early in their relationship so now things always seemed odd...strained.

Tara bounded down the stairs and headed toward the kitchen. Sam stood at the island with a bowl, eggs and bread. Marley was on her knees on a stool beside him. This had been their thing. Sam had always been a phenomenal cook—that was one of the many ways he’d captured her heart. But when he started incorporating Marley into the prep work and she eventually graduated to using the stove with assistance, Tara had utterly melted.

Even though Marley had been a toddler when she’d started helping, she’d actually mastered measuring and mixing.

“Hey,” he said, smiling across the room at her. “We’re making French toast. Interested?”

“He said no ice cream for breakfast.” Marley pouted as she cracked an egg into the bowl.

Tara offered her daughter a smile but shook her head. “Actually, I need to speak to your daddy for a minute.”

Sam’s eyes snapped to hers, but his own smile didn’t diminish. How could this look so right, so painstakingly familiar, yet every bit of this morning be so devastatingly wrong? She couldn’t handle him in their kitchen, like this was old times, let alone stay for...however long he’d intended. His suitcase had been crammed full. They’d bought the house together when they’d married, but he’d given it to her in the divorce. Still, this was their space and memories flooded her now that he was back.

Sam grabbed a dish towel and wiped his hands as he circled the island. “Just crack the eggs and I’ll be right back so we can start dipping the bread.”

Marley began humming as she cracked another egg. Tara pulled in a deep breath, telling herself not to explode because yelling or getting upset would get them nowhere. Still, she had to make Sam understand he simply couldn’t stay. She had to remain firm on this for her sanity. Falling into their pattern of her enabling his actions would only lead to disaster and leave her where she’d crawled her way out of.

But she was still enabling, wasn’t she? Just like she’d covered for him when he’d been using. Pretenses...they were an ugly thing to try to keep up.

Tara went up the stairs and into the bedroom, well aware he was directly behind her.

“What the hell is this?” she asked, pointing to the bed.

With a casual shrug, he crossed his arms over his massive chest. “My suitcase.”

She willed herself to find patience. “Why is it on my bed?”

Casual as you please, Sam leaned against the door frame. “I’m staying.”

“No, you’re not.”

He couldn’t. She’d barely gotten used to this house without him. Having him here would be too cruel and dealing with Marley on top of that...she simply didn’t think she could handle all the emotions at once.

The irony that she counseled people yet couldn’t even get her own life in order was not lost on her.

Sam pushed off the frame and took one slow step at a time until he’d closed the space between them. Tara concentrated on her breathing; it was better than focusing on those gray eyes that seemed to look right into her soul.

“The doctor said Marley lost the last year of her life,” he reminded her in a low tone that had Tara shivering. “He said to make her life stress-free and as normal as possible. In her mind, we’re married and we all live here. Do you want to explain to her why I don’t? She doesn’t know about the separation.”

Tara gritted her teeth as she sank onto the bed next to the threatening suitcase. She hadn’t thought of that part. She’d been too worried about how to help Marley remember to even think about the time frame her mind was trapped in. And perhaps she’d selfishly feared how she’d ever let Sam back into her home, into her bed, without losing her mind or her heart all over again.

Sam squatted in front of her, placing his hands on her knees. Tara tried to shift, but he held firm.

He hadn’t touched her, not like this, in well over a year. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t missed those strong hands on her. How could she be torn in so many different directions and still keep pushing forward through life? She had no idea what she was doing and how she was holding things together.

“This isn’t about us right now,” he told her. “As much as I want to make everything up to you and make you see that I’m a different man, this is about Marley. She needs her mom and dad, and I will not fail her or you ever again.”

Tears burned Tara’s eyes. She wished like hell he meant those words, but she’d heard them before. Over and over he’d promised he wouldn’t fail her...but he always did.

“You can’t live here,” she whispered through the emotions.

Sam rose to stand above her, forcing her to tip her head up to meet his gaze. He propped his hands on his hips; the muscle in his jaw clenched.

“We’re going to be married and living together like one big happy family for Marley’s sake. So I’m not only living here,” he informed her. “We’re sleeping in the same bed.”

Chapter Three

“Where’s Daisy?”

Marley’s question broke through the awkward tension filling the kitchen. Breakfast had been mostly Marley chattering and Sam and Tara dancing around each other without speaking.

Now Tara rinsed off the dishes and sat them on the counter for Sam to put into the dishwasher.

“When you had your accident, Daisy had to go to the boarder.”

The lie slid out of Sam’s mouth and sounded so convincing. Tara couldn’t help but wonder how easily he’d lied to her in the past and if he ever truly felt guilty about deceiving. But, for now, Tara didn’t want to break her daughter’s heart, so she was going to go along with Sam and see how things went. Every day, every moment, would be playing things by ear.

“When can we go get her?”

“We’ll see, honey,” Tara chimed in. She set another glass on the counter. “Let’s focus on you healing, okay?”

Still seated at the table, Marley propped her chin on her hand. “What’s wrong with me? My head hurts.”

The swollen red knot on her forehead near her hairline was a constant visual reminder of how quickly their lives had changed. Tara couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to her daughter. Hadn’t their family been through enough? There was only so long she could be strong and she truly feared she was edging closer to her breaking point.

Tara threw a glance to Sam, but his attention and concern were directed at Marley.

“We don’t want you to worry, but you do deserve the truth,” he said. “Let’s go into the living room and talk. Okay?”

Without waiting for a response, Sam scooped Marley up and airplaned her along the narrow hallway. Tara followed them in time to see him safely land her on the oversized sofa like he had countless times before. Usually for movie or game night, but that was just another bond those two shared. Between the cooking and the random bursts of flying, Sam and Marley were absolutely made for each other.

No matter what happened between Sam and Tara, nothing would change how close those two were.

Would her heart keep lurching at these familiar acts? No matter what, Marley’s recovery had to take top priority. Pushing nostalgia aside was the only way she’d ever make it through the days of Sam staying here again.

Tara’s cell vibrated in her pocket. She slid it out and saw Lucy’s text to the group with Lucy, Kate and Tara. Tara would answer her friends later.

Lucy and Kate were closer to Tara than any sisters could be. Together, the three volunteered at and ran a grief counseling center a few evenings a month. Each of them had suffered her own loss in one form or another, but recently her friends had each found their much-deserved happily-ever-after. Lucy and Kate were happier than Tara had seen them in years.

Lucy had met Noah Spencer when he came into town to take a position at the police department. When Lucy met Emma, his little girl, and heard their tragic story, she had fallen even more in love.

In a not-so-surprising move, Kate and her best guy friend, Gray, had married and were expecting their first baby. Of course the whole falling-in-love thing had been a surprise to Kate, but anyone else looking in their direction could’ve told her where she’d end up.

Kate and Lucy had been messaging her and checking in since Marley’s accident. She knew her friends worried, so she’d have to call each of them later to ease their minds. Marley was home and healing; that was the positive. The drawback? Sam was home, too.

First, though, she needed to put her sole focus on explaining to Marley what was going on...or at least as much as she could say and still obey the doctor’s orders.

Sam had already taken a seat next to their daughter, so Tara sat on the other side. She reached for Marley’s little hand and squeezed, offering silent comfort.

“Your dad and I are here for you, so we don’t want you scared,” Tara began. Marley’s bright blue eyes widened. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have started out that way.”

Sam patted Marley’s knee. “What your mother meant to say is, you had a bad fall. The doctors want us to watch you closely and make sure you don’t have any stress or worries. We need you to be a happy kid until your head heals the way it should.”

Was he not going to use the term amnesia? Shouldn’t they at least tell her that much? Tara met his gaze over top of Marley. Sam shook his head and held her eyes until she nodded in agreement.

Perhaps they shouldn’t say anything too upsetting because Marley wouldn’t completely understand the ramifications of memory loss. It wasn’t as if amnesia was an everyday term they tossed around.

Regaining the past year’s memories on her own was the best way for Marley to heal, according to the professionals. Letting everything happen in a natural way would be less traumatizing...or so her doctor said.

Still, Tara had endured enough lies to last a lifetime and keeping this to herself was like a knife to her heart. She loathed lies and liars...yet here she was.

Marley’s eyes darted between them. “Does that mean I can ask for something and you guys will get it for me?”

“Excuse me?” Tara asked.

“I’m supposed to be happy, right? Can I get a pet iguana? They’re scaly, which kinda reminds me of a mermaid. I’ll name him Ralph and he can sleep in my room.”

Sam laughed and the low, familiar sound had Tara shifting in her seat. She’d missed that laugh and suddenly realized it had been too long since she’d heard it—and even longer since they’d sat like this as a family.

Pretending was most likely going to be their new norm.

“Don’t press your luck,” Sam told Marley as he tickled her belly. “But, seriously, if you start hurting more than usual, if you feel dizzy or nauseous or anything feels weird, you need to tell your mom or me so we can help. Got it?”

Marley nodded. “So if Ralph is a no, then maybe I could have ice cream? I ate my breakfast.”

The no was on the tip of Tara’s tongue, but Sam piped up. “Sure,” he said. “If there was ever a time for breakfast dessert, I’d say it’s today. In fact, I’ll get three bowls of it. You ladies stay right here.”

He was up and gone, leaving Tara speechless. This was the most interaction she’d had with him in person since she’d kicked him out. Though kicked him out was such a harsh term for what had actually happened. There had been tears, there had been pleading, there had been words said neither of them meant along with a broken back door. Ultimately Sam had walked out with one small bag of clothes.

He’d sent Gray to pick up the rest of his stuff while Sam had been in rehab. Seeing his side of the closet so bare had taken some getting used to—she still wasn’t sure she was accustomed to the sight.

Over the past year Sam had texted her, called, left notes and flowers. He’d sent Marley flowers, as well, and she had always displayed them on the nightstand right next to her bed. She wasn’t naive. She knew he wanted their life back, but hearts weren’t so easily mended. In theory, having a whole family again sounded picture perfect, but reality proved to be a different story.

Tara would never admit to anyone that she still had each and every note Sam had mailed—yes, mailed—or put under her windshield wiper over the past year. They were in a neat, orderly stack in the top drawer of her dresser.

When she’d received the first note, she’d wanted to shred it and throw it away because even seeing his handwriting had been too painful. But she couldn’t bring herself to get rid of it because, as much as she wanted to hate Sam, she knew addiction wasn’t a choice. He certainly hadn’t chosen to get hurt and have a physician prescribe something so addictive. Yet she’d had to let him go in order to save him.

“Are you okay, Mommy?”

Tara turned her attention to Marley and smiled, though her throat burned with emotions. “Better now that you’re home.”

“Is Daddy okay? You guys seem kinda sad.”

Why were kids so in tune with their surroundings? Tara could tell Marley eight times to get her shoes on in the morning for school and her daughter would still shuffle around in her socks until the last minute. Yet here she was, picking up on the tension between her parents without a word being spoken on the topic.

Tara would have to work harder because, as much as she hated to admit it, Sam had been right. They had to pretend to be happily married, just like they had been.

Oh, they’d been so happy. They’d been that sickening couple who held hands in public, who sent lovey-dovey texts throughout the day, who woke up holding each other after making love and falling asleep in each other’s arms. They’d had their occasional disagreements, but nothing they hadn’t been able to overcome.

Until addiction crept in and they couldn’t overcome.

“Mommy?”

Tara smoothed Marley’s hair away from her face and tapped on her daughter’s nose. “What do you say we binge-watch your favorite movies all day? We’ll have your favorite foods, too.”

“Well, Dad is already making tacos, so that only leaves pizza for lunch.”

“Pizza it is,” Sam stated, coming into the room juggling three bowls of strawberry ice cream. “I’ll go out and get the stuff and you can help me make it.”

“Deal,” Marley squealed as she took her ice cream. “Are both of you off today?”

Sam’s eyes met Tara’s. He offered a smile and a wink. “I took time off to be with my family.”

Those last two words nearly gutted Tara. Sam seemed a little too settled into this temporary role and they’d only been faking it a few hours. How would she survive the rest of this farce?

More important, what would happen when Marley remembered that her father didn’t actually live here anymore? How would she react to reliving her dog dying, her father leaving? The first time had been crushing to her sweet girl. She’d had nightmares, worried something would happen to her daddy because he wasn’t home where he should be. Tara had just gotten Marley sleeping through the night again.

Tara didn’t like the lies already mounting. Nothing about this was okay. Nothing.

After they finished their ice cream, Tara sent Marley to her room to get her favorite pillow, blanket and stuffed animal for movie time. Once she was out of earshot, Tara crossed to the mantel and adjusted some of the photos to give her hands something to do.

“I lived with half-truths and flat-out lies for too long,” she started. “I don’t like this, Sam.”

His boots shuffled on the hardwood floor and she tensed as he moved closer. But he didn’t reach for her.

“I don’t like lying to her, either,” Sam agreed. “But we have to trust the doctors. Telling her about an entire year will only confuse her and hurt her even more. Do you want her to relive that all over again? And then again when she really remembers it?”

Tara pulled in a deep breath and turned to face him. “She’ll have to relive it at some point and I think it’s better coming from us than to have her smacked in the face with a blindsided thought.”

“Not today.” He took another step forward until he was too close. “Today, let’s be the family she needs.”

“And the family you want?”

The muscles in his jaw clenched. “I can’t change the past, Tara. But I can sure as hell make the future better for all of us.”

She’d never heard him speak with such conviction. Before he’d entered rehab, Sam had begged her to give him another chance, but she’d been all out and knew if she didn’t push him away, he’d never get better. She simply couldn’t risk letting him in again. Not into her heart, not into her bed.

Since he’d gotten out of rehab, he’d been the epitome of a gentleman and she wasn’t sure if that pleased her and made her life easier or if it irritated the hell out of her because she couldn’t figure out his angle. She thought he wanted her back, but he’d never said the words. He was just always present in one way or another.

Damn it. Her nerves were utterly shot.

“You need to sign those papers.”

Sam opened his mouth, but Marley came into the room and dropped her stuff right at their feet.

“Can we watch cooking shows instead of movies?” she asked, looking between her parents, completely oblivious to the turmoil.

Well, she hadn’t been oblivious. Marley knew something was up, but Tara vowed to make sure her daughter didn’t suspect anything was wrong from here on out.

“Of course,” Sam replied. “Then maybe you can make dinner.”

“No way. You promised me tacos and I want corn cakes to go with it.”

Sam ruffled Marley’s hair. “You’re lucky I love you.”

And he did. Above all else, Sam loved Marley like she was his very own. He had from the moment he’d come into their lives. Even during his treatment, he’d made sure Marley knew he would be okay.

But he couldn’t be the man she’d married. He would never be that man again and for that reason alone Tara had had to come to grips with the fact they were over.

Playing house was not helping her already battered heart and this was only the beginning.

Chapter Four

“Where’s the picture when we were skiing?”

Sam stilled in the recliner across the room from Marley. Tara had gone into the other room to call Kate and Lucy since they kept texting and were worried.

“Which one?” he asked, knowing full well which photo she referred to.

There was only one that had been displayed on the mantel before. The ski trip had been one of their first getaways as a family.

Marley paused the television show as the chef set the dessert on fire. Sam watched as she slid from her makeshift bed on the sofa and crossed to the mantel. The same photos Tara had fiddled with earlier were spread across the top of it. Sam had noticed some were missing, but he hadn’t said a word earlier. This was no longer his house, and as much as his obvious absence hurt him, he had no right to question Tara. She’d had to move on; she’d had to cope however was best for her.

“It always sat right here.” Marley pointed to a spot where a decorative black lantern now sat. “It’s my favorite family picture because we had that lady take it right after we got to the top of the mountain and you had to hold on to me so I didn’t fall off the lift. Remember, Dad?”

He remembered. He recalled every single detail of their trip. His addiction hadn’t swallowed his life at that point and his family had been whole and happy. They’d taken a spontaneous trip to the mountains and Tara and Marley had taken to the snow like champs. He, on the other hand, had not only hurt his backside by falling so many times, his ego had taken a hit, as well.

“Sometimes Mommy likes to rearrange things,” he explained. “I’m sure it’s here somewhere.”

Marley crossed to him. When she climbed onto his lap, it took all of Sam’s strength not to lose it. He’d seen his daughter since the separation, she’d stayed over at his apartment multiple times. But he hadn’t been in this chair, in this house, cuddling with his girl.

“Can we go get Daisy now? I miss her.”

Well, that was going to be a problem.

Sam smoothed her long dark hair from her face. His little girl was going to be a stunner when she grew up—just like her mother.

“Your mom and I will talk in a bit. Why don’t you rest here on the sofa without the television?”

When her lip came out and she attempted those puppy-dog eyes, Sam squeezed her close to his chest. “Nice try, but you are recovering and rest is important. Your mom and I will be here, but we have things to discuss so we’ll stay in the kitchen.”

Marley eased back, her big blue eyes locked onto his. “Is something wrong, Dad? You and Mom seem weird.”

Marley had always been smart and mature for her age, something he’d always been so proud of. “We’re worried about you. We want you to feel better and make sure you don’t fall off the playground equipment again.”

Her brows drew in. “I don’t remember falling.”

Of course she didn’t. While they weren’t telling her the events of the past year, they had discussed how she’d gotten the knot and the headache.

“That may be best,” he told her. “But why don’t you rest. Okay? Maybe we can go to the park later.”

“After we pick up Daisy.”

Something came over her face as she glanced to the front door, then to Sam. Her brows drew in and her chin quivered.

“What is it, sweetheart?” he asked, patting her gently.

“Daisy,” she murmured as tears filled her eyes.

Sam’s heart clenched.

“She isn’t coming back, is she?”

He wanted to lie and tell her Daisy was fine, but he couldn’t bring himself to lie now that she had figured it out. “She’s not. I’m sorry, baby.”

Marley flung her arms around his neck, and warm tears landed on his bare skin as he comforted her with a strong hug. He held tight, letting her deal with her emotions however she needed to.

“I don’t know what happened to her.” Marley’s tearful, muffled voice came from the crook of his neck. “I just remembered a flash of her going to the back door, but the door was stuck and I had to take her out the front, but she ran off without me.”

Another layer of guilt because Sam had been supposed to fix that door. There was a spot on their rear porch where they’d hooked Daisy so she could walk into the side yard and onto the porch and to her bed near the porch swing. But the door had been stuck that day and Sam hadn’t gotten it fixed... Instead, he’d gone and gotten his own fix.

Marley had let Daisy out the front door, but the gate hadn’t been closed and the dog had chased a cat and been hit by a car.

Sam recalled that same back door was the one he’d nearly ripped off the hinges the day he’d left. A few days after Tara had kicked him out, he’d been sober enough to come by and fix it while he knew she’d be at work.

He’d sanded it down and repaired it, but it was still the same door. It didn’t stick anymore, but he still hated that damn thing and he hated even more that his innocent daughter was sobbing in his arms yet again over the loss of her beloved pet.

“We’ll get a new dog,” he promised her. He probably should discuss this with Tara, but right now, Sam would promise Marley anything to get her to stop crying. “You really need to rest and we can talk about Daisy later. But you’ve had enough trauma for one day.”

Marley eased back and sniffed as she nodded. “My next dog will have to be named Daisy.”

Sam smiled as he framed her delicate face and swiped her tears away. “Name her anything you want.”

He said nothing more as she slid off his lap. Marley made her way to the couch and cozied up into a ball before Sam slipped from the room. He hoped she could rest and not lie there and cry, but he would be checking in on her shortly to make sure.

Sam eased the pocket doors shut to help drown out some of the noise. They were one of the things he loved about this old cottage they’d lived in. The charm of this home they’d found together, combined with the stylish way Tara always kept each room decorated, always made Sam feel like this was a sanctuary—their sanctuary.

His bare apartment didn’t come close to feeling like a home or looking as amazing as this house.

Sam stepped into the kitchen just as Tara sat her cell on the table. She offered him a forced smile and he hated that he’d done this to her. Hated that he’d taken the genuine smile from her lips, taken the light from her eyes.

“She’s resting,” he said, nodding toward the living room. “But she just remembered Daisy isn’t here anymore. She doesn’t know how she died, but understandably Marley is pretty upset.”

“Of course she is. Damn it, I don’t like this,” Tara repeated. He’d lost count of how many times she’d said that since being given the doctor’s advice. Tara left no room for questions on where she stood regarding their opinions.

Tara rubbed her forehead, then raked her hand over her face. Despite the fact that Sam found his wife stunningly beautiful at all times, he couldn’t deny how exhausted she appeared. She had to be in a rough position, worried about Marley and having the one man she couldn’t stand the sight of back in her house.

He couldn’t blame her. There had been days he couldn’t stand the sight of himself, either. But then he’d healed, he’d started taking a whole new outlook on life. And he was damn well going to keep moving forward until he was proud of himself again.

Without thinking, Sam took a step and started to reach for her. He hesitated, his hand in the air between them. Tara glanced from his extended arm to his eyes. Her silence was more of a green light than he’d experienced in a year.

Slowly he reached for her, feathering his fingertips across her face. Her eyes remained locked onto his and he wasn’t sure if either of them had taken a breath.

“Sam.”

He said nothing as he slid her hair behind her ear and left his hand right there, right at the edge of her jawline where she had a sensitive spot.

“I know you don’t want me here and I promise not to make things difficult.” Yet he couldn’t stop himself from touching her. “Just because we’re getting divorced doesn’t mean I don’t care. You’re tired, Tara.”

“I’ll rest when she’s better.” Her bottom lip quivered a second before she glanced away. “I appreciate you being here for her, though.”

Anger bubbled within him.

“Where did you think I’d be? She’s my daughter.”

Tara shook her head. “She is, but—”

“Are you going to go there?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you going to throw my past into my face? Fine, let’s bring it out into the open again. I know I didn’t make it to her birthday party. I’m well aware I missed bedtime stories and tucking her in more times than I can count, and I’m damn well aware of the fact that I let you down. I’ll say it until you believe it, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the hell you had to endure.”

Tara closed her eyes and pulled in a deep breath. Sam had to fist his hands at his sides to keep from reaching for her again. He was angry, but mostly at himself. No, he didn’t like that she was going to bring up the wall that had divided them, but at the same time, he deserved no less.

She’d see eventually that he’d changed, that his separation from her would be his penance until the day he died. That didn’t mean he’d ever give up showing her that he still cared...that he still loved her.

“I didn’t mean to bring it up,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. “I know you worked hard to get clean, but this past year has been rough and now with Marley...”

Never in the past had he questioned when to comfort and hold Tara, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to start now. They were in this together and seeing her hurt absolutely ripped his heart to shreds.

Sam closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her. When she stiffened, Sam gritted his teeth and cursed every blasted pill he’d ever popped, every lie he’d ever told, every tear he’d ever caused her to shed.

“You can trust me to be here for this,” he murmured against her ear. “You can trust that this recovery period will be me as the foundation and the rock. I promise you.”

She didn’t return his hug; her arms dangled limp at her sides. But she rested her forehead on his chest. That small act proved she still cared for him. Maybe that was even worse than having her hate him. If they cared for each other, but couldn’t find a way to be together, wasn’t that the worst punishment of all?

“Group hug.”

Sam glanced to the doorway as Marley smiled and came at them with her little arms open wide. He turned his attention back to Tara. She sniffed as she glanced up and met his eyes when Marley wrapped her arms around them...or tried to, anyway.

“I thought you were sleeping,” Sam said, not taking his eyes off his wife.

When Tara remained still, Sam slid his hands down her arms and eased them onto her waist.

“Group hug,” he murmured.

“I don’t want to rest. I can’t stop thinking about Daisy and my heart hurts.” Marley eased back, then frowned. “Why is Mom crying?”

They were quite the trio of depressing emotions at the moment. Was it even possible they could all heal each other? Sam sure as hell hoped so because he didn’t want to see his girls this upset over anything ever again.

“I’m so glad you’re home and safe. I’m so sorry about Daisy. She loved you very much.” Tara pulled away from Sam and bent to face Marley. “What do you say we paint? I bought new canvases the other day.”

“Paint?” Marley seemed surprised by the request, but then her face lit up. “I love to paint.”

And she was damn good at it, too, even for her age. They’d given her art lessons and she was simply a creative spirit. Sam hoped she hadn’t lost the natural talent. She still had her love of cooking, so perhaps the art would be there, as well.

“Why don’t you two paint? I need to step out for a bit.”

Tara’s eyes instantly came to his. That invisible barrier of protection immediately slid up between them. The way she looked at him, he knew exactly what she was thinking, and, damn it all, he wished she didn’t immediately go to the past.

Yes, when he’d been vague about his outings in the past, he had been going to get a fix, but how long was he going to have to be reminded of that? Did her mistrust have an expiration date?

As much as he wanted to defend himself, he was tired of using words to justify his actions. From here on out, she’d have to learn to trust him or he had no hope of Tara ever moving on and fully understanding just how far he’d come. And he realized they’d never find what they once had, but he sure as hell hoped that, for the sake of Marley, they could be friends without all of the side-eye glances and questioning gazes.

“I’ll paint something extra special for you, Daddy.”

Sam bent and kissed the top of Marley’s head. “I can’t wait to see it.”

Without another word, Sam turned and grabbed his keys off the counter before heading out the door. Right now he needed to concentrate on Marley, not his jumbled feelings for Tara and not the awkwardness that had settled heavy between them.

And he sure as hell couldn’t focus on the fact they’d be spending countless nights together—in the same bed they’d shared as a happily married couple.

Chapter Five

The paintings were done and dried, lunch was over, Marley had napped and Sam still hadn’t returned. Tara couldn’t stop the thoughts swirling through her mind. How could she not revert to when he’d lived here and would disappear for hours, and sometimes days, at a time?

For all she’d seen over the past several months, he was doing his best, holding down a steady job and really putting forth an effort to be a better man. But was all of this with Marley too much for him? Did he need to find something to give him a break from reality?

Tara wanted him to remain clean, to keep rolling into another day of sobriety. She only prayed this didn’t set him back. Unfortunately, when tragedy struck in an addict’s life, they would occasionally slide back into using their old crutch to dull the pain. But Sam was a strong man. She truly did have faith in him and his willpower. He wanted to remain the sober man he’d worked so hard to become.

Marley sat on the sofa with her drawing pad, likely doodling another ocean or mermaid picture. Tara watched her daughter from the hallway and vowed to get her family through this without any hurt. Even though she and Sam weren’t together, she would still keep her eye on him to make sure he wasn’t bringing anything into the house and to make sure he stayed on the path he’d worked so hard to find.

The separation nearly a year ago had been difficult for Marley to grasp. So once that memory reappeared, Tara figured the reasoning would return. They’d been careful about how they’d explained Sam’s condition, considering Marley was so young. How could anyone truly explain drug addiction to such an innocent child?

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.