The Boss
CAZ FINLAY

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KillerReads

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www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollinsPublishers 2019

Copyright © Caz Finlay 2019

Cover design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2019

Cover photograph © Shutterstock.com

Caz Finlay asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Ebook Edition © June 2019 ISBN: 9780008340674

Version: 2019-05-01

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Eight

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty-One

Chapter Fifty-Two

Chapter Fifty-Three

Chapter Fifty-Four

Chapter Fifty-Five

Chapter Fifty-Six

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Chapter Sixty

Chapter Sixty-One

Chapter Sixty-Two

Chapter Sixty-Three

Chapter Sixty-Four

Chapter Sixty-Five

Chapter Sixty-Six

Chapter Sixty-Seven

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Chapter Sixty-Nine

Chapter Seventy

Chapter Seventy-One

Chapter Seventy-Two

Chapter Seventy-Three

Chapter Seventy-Four

Chapter Seventy-Five

Chapter Seventy-Six

Chapter Seventy-Seven

Chapter Seventy-Eight

Chapter Seventy-Nine

Chapter Eighty

Chapter Eighty-One

Chapter Eighty-Two

Chapter Eighty-Three

Chapter Eighty-Four

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Publisher

For Jude, Fin and James. You inspire me every single day

Chapter One
Present Day

Grace Sumner steeled herself against the bar, her fingers splayed against the cool, polished wood as though it could ground her somehow. It was the moment she’d been expecting for a long time and finally there he was – Nathan Conlon, or Nate as she’d once affectionately called him. The pub was as busy as usual for a Friday night in Liverpool; but from the moment she saw his face, it was as though there was no one else in the room but the two of them. The constant chatter, the laughter – the incessant din of the place – faded into the background, until she could hear nothing but the blood rushing in her ears. She knew he’d make his way back into her life one day. His arrival was no surprise. She’d thought about nothing else for days.

But nothing could have prepared her for seeing that man’s face again.

He scanned the room quickly as he entered. Was he looking for her? For a moment, she thought their eyes met, but perhaps she’d imagined it? There was no recognition from him if they did. She took a moment to appraise him; he still had those incredible blue eyes and that smile that could make you forget your own name. He had a beard now too, and not one of those ridiculous hipster ones which seemed to be in fashion, but a neat one, which framed his strong jawline. It looked good on him. The dark grey suit he was wearing fitted him perfectly. He’d always looked good in a suit. He was bigger than she remembered. No doubt all that free time he’d had to work out in the gym.

It had been a long time since she’d seen him, but the image of him was burned into her retinas like the negative of a photograph. He was still the best-looking man she had ever seen. Gliding through the crowded bar effortlessly, he smiled at everyone. Friends, acquaintances or strangers – it didn’t matter to Nathan, who was always equally comfortable in anyone’s presence. He was one of those people that everybody loved to be around – well almost everybody.

He was the first man she’d ever loved, the first man she’d ever made love to. The irony of that didn’t escape her. Because he was also the man who’d given her nightmares for the past nineteen years, the man she feared more than anyone or anything else in the world: her ex-husband, and the father of her only child. A shudder ran down the length of Grace’s spine as she remembered what he was capable of and what he would do if he ever found out about the things she’d done.

‘Another pint please, Grace,’ one of the regulars piped up, and the world around her came back into focus. She poured the drink as if on autopilot and smiled as the next customer signalled for some service, but her thoughts returned to Nathan. Released on licence from prison the week before, he was there to see their son, Jake. Eighteen years old and practically his father’s doppelganger. She hoped that Nathan had changed; after all, she had – a lot could happen in twelve years. His new girlfriend, Kayleigh, was with him. Grace assumed it was her at least. It didn’t escape her attention how young Kayleigh was. Beautiful too, and much more suited to Nathan in Grace’s opinion, with her long blonde hair, tiny waist and perfect figure.

Grace watched Jake as he fiddled with the collar of his shirt; so anxious for his father’s approval, it terrified her. What would their son do if he knew the truth about the man he idolized?

‘Dad!’ Jake beamed, his face full of adulation, as Nathan approached him and wrapped him in a bear hug. He tousled his son’s hair as though he were still a small child. They began talking animatedly, although Grace was too far away to hear their conversation. But she could see Jake visibly relax and the two of them were laughing. Kayleigh was smiling proudly as she took hold of Nathan’s arm, clinging onto him like a limpet.

Try as she might, Grace couldn’t seem to focus on any one task for too long. Shifting constantly from one job to another, clearing glasses, wiping spillages, serving customers. Stopping to chat from time to time, she found herself unable to hold even a simple conversation. She was about to ask one of the regulars, Crazy Len, just why he was wearing a flower in his lapel when the crowd parted, creating a direct path to the bar. Grace had only ever seen one man have that sort of effect on a crowded pub and he was making his way over towards her. She wanted to walk away and pretend she hadn’t seen them, but her legs were rooted to the spot. Feeling the once-familiar knot in her stomach, she swallowed the bile rising in her throat. Her face frozen in some sort of non-expression, as though it was waiting to be told what the appropriate reaction should be.

‘Grace,’ Nathan smiled, all charm and perfect teeth. Taking her hand, he leaned in towards her. ‘You’ve let yourself go, haven’t you, love?’ he said quietly, before giving her a brief kiss on the cheek. He laughed; a sound she’d once mistaken for being warm and friendly, she now recognized as cruel and mocking.

She forced a smile in return. God, he was such an arrogant prick!

Grace noticed Kayleigh looking her up and down before extending her hand. Obviously, Kayleigh had decided that she was no threat to her. If only she knew.

Grace made some drinks for them; she didn’t usually drink when she was working, but she had a brandy. Pretended that she too was drinking to celebrate Nathan’s triumphant return, but it was a futile attempt to steady her nerves. For all intents and purposes they looked like any family, making polite conversation and laughing at each other’s jokes. Kayleigh and Nathan seemed happy and in love. But outward appearances could be deceiving. Grace, of all people, knew that. However, there was no reason to believe that Nathan wanted anything from her – not anymore. As far as he was concerned, she had nothing left to offer him. So, she went back to serving her customers, thankful that their first encounter in twelve years was as uneventful as she’d hoped. Nathan had moved on, and she was simply a footnote in his past.

As closing time approached, the pub was empty, except for Jake, Nathan and Kayleigh, who were huddled around a table in the corner. Grace wanted them to leave too so she could go upstairs and finish cashing up. She’d moved out of the flat above the pub two years earlier because living in such a small place with a stroppy teenager who enjoyed playing his music so loud it made the windows rattle, sometimes made her feel like the walls were closing in. But if Grace was honest, she’d always dreamed of owning a nice house with a garden, and a proper kitchen. Once Jake was old enough to look after himself in the evenings, she’d bought them a beautiful little detached house just outside Liverpool. She still used the flat for storage and as an office, and she stayed there occasionally when she was too tired to face the drive back home.

Approaching their table, she could see Jake grinning inanely. His head rolled around on his shoulders as though it were only held on by a piece of string.

‘You need to get yourself to bed and sleep this off,’ she told him, pulling him to his feet. ‘Nathan, can you make sure he gets home safely?’

‘Of course, Grace. I’ll look after my boy.’ Nathan slurred as he stood up and gave Jake a slap on the back.

Grace arranged a taxi for the three of them and they fell out of the pub into the warm night air.

Twenty minutes later Grace was closing the safe in the office upstairs when she heard the heavy tread of feet on the stairway, making her stop and freeze mid-motion. The doors were all locked, weren’t they? She was always so careful about that. Yes, she’d definitely locked the doors and set the alarm for the whole place, except for the back entrance to the flat. Besides, no one would be stupid enough to try and knock off the Rose and Crown. Would they? It must have been Jake coming back. Why had she relied on Nathan to get him home?

But what if it wasn’t Jake?

Picking up the golf club she kept in her office as a precaution, she edged away from the safe, fooling herself into believing that the piece of iron would offer some protection from whoever was walking up those stairs. Swearing under her breath, she realized she’d left her mobile phone in her handbag, which was hanging out of reach near the front door.

The door swung open to reveal a grinning Nathan. Jake’s keys dangled from his fingers. Her heart almost stopped. In an instant, she was transported back to a time when he would walk through that door, and she would experience that seemingly eternal moment of not knowing what type of mood he’d be in, in constant fear of what would happen next.

Grace’s mouth felt so dry she couldn’t even swallow, although she tried to anyway. She had to make a conscious effort to stop her hands from shaking, but she was not the same scared young girl he’d once known. The things she’d done, the choices she’d made – they had shaped her into a different person.

‘What do you want, Nathan? Where’s Jake?’

‘Relax, Grace. Kayleigh is taking him home, and I told her I was going to see an old friend. That’s true, isn’t it? We are old friends, aren’t we?’ He moved towards her and she bristled. ‘I thought you might like some company,’ he leered. ‘And I don’t mind slipping you one for old times’ sake.’

‘You’re drunk, Nathan. Please go home. Kayleigh will be waiting for you.’ She sighed, putting down the golf club; it offered her no protection against him.

‘Haven’t you missed me then?’

She laughed. It was a dangerous move, but she couldn’t help it. ‘Missed you? The man who made my life hell? No I really haven’t.’

He smiled and sat on the desk, before grabbing her by the hips and pulling her to him until she was standing between his legs. Moving his hands to her behind, he pressed her body into his groin until she could feel how hard he was. He smelled good, of soap and expensive aftershave. The heat from his hands penetrated the thin fabric of her skirt. She used to love those hands, the feel of them on her skin, in her hair, on the small of her back. Hands that once knew her so intimately.

Looking into his eyes, she saw they were glassy from the whisky he’d been drinking, and who knew what else. But it seemed like they could still bore right into the deepest part of her. There was a time she truly believed that he could read her mind. So much so, it made her unable to look him in the eye towards the end of their marriage, for fear he would discover some truth she didn’t want him to know. But not anymore. She stared at him, confident in the knowledge that he would never know, not unless she wanted him to at least. He would never believe his naive little Grace could be capable of such things. What if she told him though? The look on his face. That would be something worth seeing.

What would have happened if things had been different? Could she have saved him? Would they have had a home full of children? Retired to the country and lived in a big old house, and kept chickens and horses? She smiled fleetingly at that thought before she was pulled sharply back to reality as Nathan tried to kiss her, the smell of whisky on his breath invoking so many contrasting memories. Pushing him away, she managed to wriggle from his grip.

‘This is not the welcome I was expecting from you, Grace. I’m disappointed in you. And you know I don’t like to be disappointed,’ he said, the cold edge creeping into his voice.

It was a threat and she knew it; but maybe she’d forgotten what it felt like to be hurt by him. After all, there was nothing he could do to her that he hadn’t already done. So, rather than giving in to him like the old Grace would, she replied with a threat of her own.

‘Aren’t you on licence now, Nathan? Doesn’t that mean you have to behave yourself or you can be carted back off to prison to serve the rest of your sentence? I’m sure a phone call to your probation officer about you beating up your ex-wife would justify hauling you back there pretty quickly, wouldn’t it?’

The change in him was instant, his handsome face distorted with rage. He took hold of her face with his hand, his fingers squeezing her cheeks. ‘You are playing a dangerous fucking game,’ he spat. ‘Be careful, Grace.’

And then he was gone.

She sat in the chair before her legs gave way beneath her. How had she once loved that man with every fibre of her being?

But that was a lifetime ago. Grace Sumner was no longer the naive little girl who’d fallen in love with the man of her dreams. She was a woman with a past of her own. Nathan thought he knew her. He had no idea.

Chapter Two

Replaying the events of the previous night over and over in her head, Grace pondered what a fool she’d been thinking Nathan might have changed. He’d made Grace’s life hell for the first couple of years he’d been in prison. First it was the constant phone calls, then there were the visits. Always someone sitting at the end of the bar glaring at her, watching her every move. Always someone to deliver a message that she’d better watch her back, because apparently, the only thing that kept her safe was being Mrs Conlon. What a laugh!

John Brennan was okay, though. She’d met him once before when he’d come to their flat one night when Nathan had almost died from an overdose of ketamine. He used to call in on his way home, go through the motions and reiterate the same tired threat. Then Grace would pull him a pint and make him a sandwich.

‘Can’t you just put up with being his missus, Grace?’ he’d ask her. ‘Isn’t it easier than all this?’

‘No, John. It’s not,’ she’d tell him.

It was a price worth paying for her freedom. After all, she’d endured much worse than the occasional threat and menacing glare.

Then one day it all stopped. No more threatening phone calls. No more visits from his henchmen to try and scare her. He’d signed the divorce papers she’d sent him and, except for the occasional phone call when he felt lonely, he’d left her in relative peace.

Then shortly before Jake’s sixteenth birthday, she asked him what he’d like for a present, thinking he’d ask for a new computer or some sort of gadget. Her head had almost popped off her shoulders when Jake had revealed that what he wanted more than anything was to visit his dad in prison. She couldn’t have been more shocked if he’d asked for a trip to the moon.

Of course, she’d told him no. It was then that Jake revealed he’d been in almost daily phone contact with his father for nearly two years. How had she not noticed? How had Jake been able to lie to her all that time? He said he was sorry, that he hadn’t wanted to hide it from her, but he knew she’d go crazy and try to put a stop to it. And how could Grace argue with that? He was right.

Grace had always tried to prevent Jake from discovering the full extent of Nathan’s violent temper. He’d been so young when Nathan had been sent to prison and, given Nathan’s propensity to remain on the missing list for a lot of the time, the two of them had never developed a close bond.

After Nathan had been sent to prison, Grace had never told Jake much about him. She thought the less he knew, the better. She certainly didn’t want him to know what a monster his father truly was. In hindsight, she realized that pretending Nathan never existed was a huge mistake. With no other information to go on, Nathan became some enigmatic, mythical figure in Jake’s mind. By the time Grace learned of their contact, Nathan had cemented himself in Jake’s life as the most incredible father in the world; a legend, who was only doing time because he was trying to provide for his family.

Despite having to endure a year of Jake’s moody teenage stroppiness and his constant declarations that his father was a changed man, Grace would never agree to let him visit Nathan in prison. She confiscated his mobile phone, but Nathan procured him another one and then another. Jake told her there was nothing she could do to prevent him from contacting his dad, and as much as that aggravated and, if she was honest, scared the hell out of her, she knew he was right. So, in the end she’d relented. She realized that he’d only keep speaking with Nathan in secret and if she at least pretended to accept their communication he could be open with her about it. She thought that would allow her at least some insight into their relationship, and thereby give her some modicum of control.

For Nathan’s part, he seemed to adore Jake and appeared to have accepted that he and Grace were long over. According to Jake, he only ever asked if Grace was doing okay and nothing more.

Shortly after Jake turned seventeen, Nathan was transferred to an open prison and started having home leave. Release on temporary licence they called it. Jake would sneak off to meet him, much to Grace’s annoyance. But short of locking her son in his room, she could see no way of preventing the two of them meeting up. Thankfully, Nathan always stayed away from the pub, and well away from her, and from what Jake told her, his dad seemed to have become an entirely different person.

Jake almost had her convinced for a while, but Grace didn’t buy it. Nathan was incapable of behaving like a decent human being for any length of time. He could be the most charming man on the planet when he wanted to be, but it never lasted. He was a master manipulator, earning himself super-dad status from the confines of a prison cell. God knew what kind of influence he could exert now that he was out. If Jake followed in his father’s footsteps, she didn’t know what she would do. It pained her to even think about it, making her stomach contract and her throat feel like it was closing over. She would never let Nathan taint him. Not her sweet, precious boy.

Jake looked so much like his father, from the smile to the same blue eyes. He had the same confidence, too. Fortunately, that was where the similarities ended. Jake had always been a sweet and caring child. There was many a time he would come home from school with some stray or injured animal he’d found, and he would plead with his mum to keep it. The flat, and then the house, sometimes resembled a menagerie.

Providing he passed all of his exams, Jake would be off to university in a few months to study business and economics. Grace had worked hard to provide him with the best opportunities in life; sent him to the best private schools, made sure he always had everything he wanted. She would have been proud of him no matter what path he chose, but she was so pleased that he’d decided to go to university. Her heart could almost burst with pride whenever she looked at him. He was the most precious thing in the world to her.

Despite her hatred for Nathan, he had at least given her Jake, and because of that a part of her would always be connected to him. Grace knew that she would never escape him entirely, so she’d had to figure out a way to protect herself from him instead. And she had, making sure that she would never again be at the mercy of the monster she’d married.

Grace had no doubt that Nathan believed he’d made the decision to stop harassing her entirely on his own. He would never have done so otherwise. She knew him too well; knew exactly how to play him. Smiling to herself, she recalled the night she’d met a man named Patrick Carter. An encounter that would change her life beyond all recognition and lead to the realization that she could play Nathan Conlon at his own game – and win.

Chapter Three
Ten Years Earlier

Grace watched as the attractive man in the suit threaded his way through the crowd towards the bar. He looked vaguely familiar to her, and she was sure she’d met him before but couldn’t place him.

‘Pint of Stella please, love,’ he said.

‘Coming right up,’ she smiled as she set about pulling his pint.

‘Grace Sumner, isn’t it?’ he asked.

She nodded, surprised that he knew her maiden name. Most people knew her as Conlon now, much to her annoyance. ‘Do I know you?’ she asked.

‘You used to,’ he smiled. ‘But I’ve not seen you since you were a dot.’

‘I thought I knew your face.’

‘Patrick Carter.’ He extended his hand to shake. ‘You can call me Pat. I knew your dad. We went way back.’

Grace knew his name. Patrick Carter was a Liverpool legend. He’d worked for Nathan’s old boss, Tommy McNulty, and she wondered briefly if he’d worked for Nathan too. Carter had a reputation for being as hard as nails. Rumour had it he’d once been jumped by a rival firm. Six of them had taken him on and all six had ended up in intensive care, while Patrick had escaped with nothing more than a cut lip.

‘Oh, you were one of those friends, were you?’ she teased him.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ he laughed.

‘I know all about my dad’s colourful past, Pat. And no offence, but you look just the type.’

‘I wasn’t aware we all looked the same,’ he chuckled.

‘Yes.’ She nodded as she passed him his drink. ‘Trust me. I used to be married to one of you lot.’

Patrick nodded. ‘Yeah, I know. Nathan Conlon.’

Grace bristled. Mentally checking that her mobile phone was in her trouser pocket should she need to call someone to escort Mr Carter from the premises. Nathan’s former colleagues, John or Ben would do that for her if she asked.

‘Look, if you’re here to settle old scores with Nathan then you’d better think again. I have nothing to do with him anymore. This place is sod all to do with him.’

Patrick shook his head. ‘Not at all. I’ve just got out after a long stretch. Only got out a couple of months ago. I was sorry to hear about your dad,’ he said. ‘I just wanted to pay my respects and see what the old place looked like. I spent a lot of my early twenties in here.’ Taking a sip of his pint, he looked around him. ‘It looks exactly the same.’

Grace smiled. She’d worked hard over the past two years to ensure that the pub was restored to its former glory. Nathan had almost ruined the place. Milking it for every penny, allowing the place to become run down and letting his mates have free rein. As a result, they had lost all of their regular custom.

‘I appreciate your condolences, Pat.’

Grace watched him drinking his pint for a moment. He looked a little younger than her dad would have been. He was tall, with dark hair, greying at the temples and brown eyes. He must have been a hit with the ladies in his younger days. Probably still was.

‘So what are you up to now that you’re out?’ she asked him. By the looks of his suit, he was doing well for himself.

‘This and that.’ He shrugged. ‘And how about you? Is that husband of yours behaving himself in the nick?’

Grace laughed. ‘I doubt that. And I told you, I have no idea what he’s doing in there. I have nothing to do with him now. At least I try not to. If only he would bloody leave me alone.’

‘Oh?’ Patrick raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Giving you a hard time, is he?’

‘That would be an understatement. I’m sure that man lives to torment me.’

‘Well maybe there’s something we can do about that, Grace?’

‘I can handle him,’ Grace replied. She didn’t want to be in Patrick’s debt, as nice as he seemed, she really didn’t know him at all.

‘Look, Grace,’ he said with concern in his eyes. ‘Your dad was a good friend of mine. He helped me out of a few sticky situations. I know he left this life behind, but I always respected him for that. If there is a way I can help his daughter out, then it would be my privilege to do so. Besides, my lads were given hefty sentences because of Nathan Conlon’s inability to keep his trap shut, so any chance to give that greedy bastard his comeuppance would be a bonus for me.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ she said to him.

He nodded. ‘You should. You seem like a woman with her head screwed on and I bet you know what makes that fucker tick better than anyone. I’m sure you could fix your problem all by yourself, but sometimes it’s good to have a little help.’

Grace smiled at him. She couldn’t deny there was some truth in what he said. She knew her ex-husband better than anyone alive. His insecurities; his weaknesses. Maybe she really would think about it.

Five weeks later, Grace and Patrick were sitting in her living room drinking tea. He’d become a regular visitor to the pub. On the nights she wasn’t working, he was invited upstairs to the flat once Jake was tucked up in bed and they’d talk long into the night.

‘So, you, my dad and Tommy were the best of friends then?’ Grace asked.

She’d learned about her dad’s connection to Nathan’s former boss, Tommy, a couple of years earlier. It had come as a massive shock at the time. Her dad, the gangster. She’d only ever known him as a funny, loving, if overprotective, father. She’d wished she’d known before Tommy’s death. Among other reasons, it would have been nice to talk to someone who’d known her dad back then.

‘Yeah. Thick as thieves we were. Funny really when you think about it. We were thieves and we were pretty thick too,’ Patrick laughed.

‘I suppose Tommy was always the ringleader? He seemed the type to always want to be in charge.’

‘No.’ Patrick shook his head. ‘Your dad was the boss. Ever since we were kids. He was just a natural leader, you know. Me and Tommy followed him around like a pair of stray dogs until he finally gave in and let us join his gang.’ Patrick laughed again at the memory.

‘What? No?’ Grace could hardly believe Patrick was talking about her dad.

‘Yeah. Well he was a couple of years older than us. And the girls loved him; he always had loads of dough, so me and Tommy thought he was the dog’s bollocks. He had quite the little empire built by the time he left it all behind.’

‘And he gave it all up, just like that?’

‘Just like that. When you were born, your mum told him she wasn’t having anymore of his nonsense. So, he walked away and he concentrated on this place.’

Grace shook her head in disbelief at the life her father had once lived. The life she’d known nothing of until after he’d died. She felt immensely proud of her mum though, standing up to her dad like that. ‘If only I could have given Nathan that kind of ultimatum,’ she sighed.

‘Wouldn’t have made any difference to him, love. Your dad gave it all up because he loved you and your mum too much not to. All the unpleasant stuff was a means to an end for your dad. But that’s what Nathan lives for.’

‘You worked for Nathan for a while, didn’t you?’

‘Yeah, I’d just come out after doing a few years for armed robbery and went back to work for Tommy. It was a few months before he was killed. After Nathan took over the firm I just kept doing what I was told to. Until I got lifted for bloody drug supply anyway.’ He shook his head. ‘Managed to get to the grand old age of thirty-eight before setting foot inside a nick and then got two long stretches almost back to back.’

Grace swallowed the last remnants of her tea, needing to regain her composure before continuing the conversation. Any mention of Tommy McNulty’s murder always brought her out in a cold sweat. The memories of that day were burned into her brain as though someone had branded them there with a hot poker. When she was sure she could speak without a tremor in her voice, she asked him. ‘You’ve never thought of striking out on your own then? You must have a lot of contacts in the business?’

‘Nah.’ Patrick shook his head and chuckled. ‘I’m just the hired muscle, me. Never had the brains, or the inclination to be the boss. That’s for people like Nathan, who are born for it, or people like you who’ve got the brains. You know how people work. You could go far in my world, Grace. You get that from your dad.’

‘Me?’ Grace laughed. Surely he was joking. ‘That’s the daftest thing I’ve ever heard, Pat.’

‘Not daft at all. You’ve got all that money sitting there doing nothing. And everyone likes you, they respect you. And the way you’ve handled Nathan is brilliant. I was ready to have my lad go in there all guns blazing, but your idea about the fake buyer for the pub was genius.’

Placing her empty mug onto the coffee table, Grace considered what Patrick had said. She thought about the million pounds she had stashed away in bank accounts in various company names, tied up in numerous business ventures. Money she’d stolen from Nathan before he was locked up. Money, he believed the police had nicked from him, when it had been his quiet, unassuming wife who’d taken it from right under his nose. He’d never suspected a thing. Maybe Patrick was right.

‘I wouldn’t say it was genius, Pat. I just know how Nathan thinks, that’s all. He needs to believe he’s making the decision to leave me alone. It couldn’t have worked out better, him being on a wing with your Michael. Being told I’m about to do a moonlight flit with his son, is the surest way to get Nathan to leave me in peace.’

Grace smiled. Who was she kidding? It was a stroke of genius. When Patrick had told her that his son, Michael, was on the same wing as Nathan in Walton, she realized it was the perfect opportunity to beat her soon-to-be ex-husband at his own game. Suddenly, she had someone on the inside who could feed Nathan false information. Information that she wanted him to know.

She had thought about selling the pub soon after Nathan went to prison, but a lot of soul-searching had made her decide against it. The Rose and Crown was her parent’s legacy, and more importantly, it was her sanctuary. But it had given her an idea. As much as Nathan was a monster, he was also a scared little boy. He was terrified of losing the only people he’d ever loved – her and Jake. If Nathan believed she was about to sell her pub, and move abroad, he’d panic. Terrified that she would take their son and never return, he’d back off. It played on every single one of his insecurities – his fear of being abandoned by the only people he loved. The old Grace might have said it was cruel, but it was certainly effective.

‘You must have thought about doing a runner though?’ Patrick said, snapping Grace from her train of thought.

‘Yeah, of course. Many times, But, why should I? This is my pub. My home. I’ve lived here for my whole life. It’s the only place I’ve ever really belonged. The only thing in my life that has ever been entirely mine. My dad entrusted it to me. And these people are my friends. I’ve made this place a success again, all on my own. Jake is happy and settled here. Why should I give that all up for my scumbag ex-husband?’

Patrick laughed. ‘Well you shouldn’t. And like I said, you’re a strong woman, Grace. You should really think about what you want to do with your life.’

Grace picked the empty mugs from the coffee table. ‘Another one?’ she asked.

He looked at his watch. It was just after midnight. ‘Yeah, go on. Why not?’

Patrick walked into the kitchen as Grace was boiling the kettle. ‘I meant to thank you for your help with my other situation, Grace,’ he said sheepishly.

‘Not a problem, Pat. You and Michael have really helped me out with Nathan. I’m happy to reciprocate.’

When two heavy-set cockneys, with more scars than teeth, had come looking for Patrick in the Rose and Crown the previous week, Grace had known he was in some serious trouble. She’d denied all knowledge of him, but they’d told her to pass on a message in any case. If they didn’t get the hundred grand he owed by the end of the week, he’d be taking a dip in the Mersey with some lead in his head and his pockets.

A poor choice of business associate had left Patrick on the wrong side of a dangerous moneylender in the East End. A twenty-five grand debt had quadrupled in the eight weeks since he’d left London. Grace had offered him the money and he’d gratefully accepted. His cockney counterparts had left Liverpool a lot happier and richer than when they’d arrived.

‘I’ll pay you back with interest, of course,’ Patrick said.

‘I know you will.’

‘And I’m forever in your debt, Grace. I’d hate to think what would have happened if I hadn’t been able to get that money together. Anything you ever need, just call me.’

‘Thanks, Pat,’ she said, hopeful she would never need anything from him but his companionship.

As she continued making the tea she thought about Patrick’s comments earlier. Imagine her the boss of some criminal empire? Dressing in power suits and barking orders at her minions. A small laugh escaped her lips as she contemplated the absurdity of the notion. But what if? She’d have her own, personal army at her disposal. Nathan would never be able to get to her again. She’d be untouchable. It was certainly something worth fantasizing about at least.

Chapter Four

Glancing at the entrance to the pub, Grace checked her watch. It was a little after nine, and Patrick was usually always there by eight on a Monday. She had grown used to his presence in the bar most nights, but particularly on Mondays when she finished early and they would share a takeaway and a bottle of wine after hours. She enjoyed talking to him. He could regale her for hours with his tales.

Grace was beginning to feel anxious. What if something had happened to him? It reminded her of all the nights she’d sat waiting for Nathan to come home, worrying about what he was up to. At least that was until she could no longer bear the sight of him. Why did she invest so much of her time in men who were clearly up to no good?

Just as she was contemplating phoning Patrick’s mobile, he came bounding through the double doors. Despite her annoyance at him for making her worry, she felt herself instantly relax. The tension in her shoulders and chest slipping away as he made his way over.

‘Grace,’ he said excitedly. ‘I’ve got a very interesting business opportunity for you.’

‘Oh?’

‘Can’t talk in here. But I’ll tell you all about it. Shall I nip out and get us an Indian?’

‘Yeah, okay.’ She nodded. Intrigued and bemused. What possible business proposition could he have that might involve her?

Once the pub was locked up and Grace had checked on Jake, she and Patrick sat down with their curries while he poured two glasses of wine.

‘So, what’s this about a business opportunity, Pat?’

‘Well,’ he cleared his throat and smoothed back his hair – looking very pleased with himself, ‘do you remember that guy in Manchester I told you about? The one I used to work for? Solomon Shepherd?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, he told me he’d been hearing whispers of a massive upset with the dealers in Liverpool and he asked me to look into it. It’s not good for his business either. Well, it turns out that they’ve all been under surveillance for a massive police operation. The biggest in Liverpool for years, Grace. Even bigger than when Nathan and my lads went down. So, there is basically a massive gap in the market for someone to take control of things and everyone who’s anyone, is or has been, under surveillance, so none of them can fill it.’

‘Yet?’

Patrick nodded. ‘Exactly. So, we have to move fast.’

‘What?’ Grace laughed. ‘Us? Are you serious? What the hell do I know about drugs?’

‘I can teach you the basics. And you don’t need to know everything straight away. That’s what you’ve got me for. You can learn the business as you go. You’d have to provide the capital, obviously, but this will make you a very rich woman. You’d make more in a week than this place takes in a year. I’ll take all the risks, Grace. You won’t have to get your hands dirty if you don’t want to. And with Sol’s backing we’re already off to a great start.’

Grace shook her head. ‘You’re talking crazy, Pat. Me and you drug kingpins? You’re almost a pensioner and I’m a pub landlady!’

‘Hey, you cheeky mare,’ he laughed. ‘There’s still life in this old fella, you know. And don’t sell yourself short either. You might not realize it, but you’ve picked up a hell of a lot from Nathan about this business. Mostly, how not to do things. The lads that come in here all listen to you. They respect you. Partly because you’re your dad’s daughter and Nathan’s ex-wife, but mostly because there’s something about you, Grace. People trust you.’

Grace took a sip of her wine. ‘How would I sleep at night, Pat? Besides the obvious fact that drugs are a mugs game, and are responsible for far too much misery in this world, it’s just too dangerous. I have Jake to think about?’

‘If we don’t step in, Grace, someone else will. Besides, we won’t be at the coal face doing the grunt work. That’s the beauty of being the boss, you can pay other people to do that for you. And what better way to be able to protect Jake? You would be one of the most powerful players in Liverpool. Come on, Grace. What do you say?’

Grace considered his proposal. Was there a better way to protect Jake? Or herself? Particularly from Nathan. Was the only way to defeat the monster to become one yourself?

‘I’ll think about it, Pat,’ she said. ‘About funding you, at least. I wouldn’t want any part in the actual day-to-day operations.’

‘That’s all I ask, boss.’ He grinned at her.

Chapter Five
Present Day

It was midday when Grace heard Jake emerge from the crypt that was his bedroom.

‘Do you want anything to eat, son?’ she shouted up the stairs.

‘A fry-up, Mum. The full works,’ he called back jovially.

She envied him his cast-iron constitution, and his body’s ability to burn off all that alcohol and avoid a hangover. She supposed that was what came from being eighteen. She remembered her life as an eighteen-year-old and how different it was to Jake’s. She’d had so much responsibility, yet so little experience of the world. It had been a dangerous combination. One that had left her open to the likes of Nathan – who’d seen her as the perfect target.

How easily she had allowed herself to be taken in by him. How quickly she had given up everything to him. He’d moved in within two months of their first meeting, had his name above the door within six, and they’d married just three months later. At the time, she’d thought it was true love – a whirlwind romance, just like Baby in her favourite film, Dirty Dancing. What a naive little girl she’d been. Now that she saw it for what it truly was, it made her cheeks burn with shame and anger.

Jake tucked into his breakfast with the voracity of a man who hadn’t been fed for weeks.

‘This is gorgeous, Mum,’ he mumbled, his mouth full of toast.

Kissing him on the top of his head, she sat at the table with him. ‘So, any plans for today?’

‘Dad’s going to show me his club and then we’ll probably grab something to eat,’ he replied, and her heart sank.

‘Is he coming here?’ she asked, trying to hide her uneasiness with that arrangement.

‘Yeah, he’ll be here in a bit.’

Grace got up from the table, telling Jake she needed to start getting ready for work. She hoped that she could be out of the house before Nathan arrived.

Nathan’s timing was as inconvenient as ever and he was ringing the doorbell as Grace was changing into her work clothes. She heard Jake let him in and the two of them fell into an easy banter. She wondered what reception she’d get from Nathan and whether he would still be annoyed about her rejecting his advances the night before. She hoped that they could put it behind them and at least maintain a degree of civility, if only for Jake’s sake; although knowing Nathan she didn’t hold up much hope for that.

Grace walked into the kitchen to find Nathan helping himself to some toast and coffee. He was dressed in a suit again and she marvelled at how fresh he looked given the state he’d been in the previous night. How typical of him that he’d been there less than ten minutes and was already making himself at home.

‘Grace!’ he said with a smile on his face. ‘You look lovely today.’

‘Thanks,’ she replied, not buying his nice-guy act for even a second. ‘You look very smart. Off anywhere interesting?’

‘Just some business to sort out. I’m taking Jake to The Blue Rooms. Got to show the boy the ropes, haven’t I?’

‘Sharon McNulty’s place?’ Grace asked.

‘No, my place,’ he snapped. ‘In all but name anyway. I’ve ran it since Tommy died, haven’t I? Besides, I’m buying it off her. I’m just waiting on my solicitor to draw up the paperwork and then it will all be official.’

Jake looked up at him with pure admiration in his eyes, and she had to physically stop herself from shaking some sense into him. She tried to appear indifferent in front of her son, but her stomach was churning. Jake would be off to university in a few months and then he’d be far away from his father’s grasp, but knowing Nathan, a lot of damage could be done during that time. There was no way Grace was going to allow Jake to get sucked into his father’s nefarious dealings.

Jake’s chair scraped across the kitchen floor as he stood up, interrupting Grace’s train of thought. ‘I’ll go and get ready, Dad. Be back down in a bit.’

And then there was just the two of them. Nathan’s presence in the room was, as ever, pervasive and suffocating. Every fibre of her being was aware of him and on edge. The incident from the previous night remained unmentioned, and she wondered how his anger might manifest itself.

Striding across the kitchen, head held high, Grace was not shaken by his presence; this was her house, her territory, and he was the intruder. Picking up the cafetière, she poured the remaining contents into a travel mug before spinning around on her heel, careful not to have her back to him for too long. He was up off his chair and standing in front of her before she could move another inch. He was so close that she could smell the expensive soap he’d used that morning. She glared at him. What the hell was he up to?

‘Anymore of that coffee?’ he asked, his voice low and calm. Reaching behind her to lift the pot; he almost pinned her to the kitchen counter as he did so.

‘No, all gone.’ she said, placing her free hand on his chest to create some distance between them.

‘No worries. I’ll make a cup of tea instead,’ he said before moving to the sink to fill the kettle.

‘You do realize Jake’s going to uni in a couple of months, don’t you?’ she said.

‘So?’ Nathan shrugged.

‘He doesn’t need you filling his head full of crap about how wonderful your life is in the meantime,’ she snapped.

‘I can’t help it if the kid idolizes me, Grace,’ he smirked. ‘I have that effect on people. You should know.’ He winked.

‘Ha,’ she snorted. ‘You haven’t had that effect on me for a very long time, Nathan.’

He lit a cigarette and sat back down at the kitchen table as he waited for the kettle to boil. She didn’t bother to tell him she didn’t allow smoking in her house; deciding she had a bigger axe to grind with him.

‘If he gets into any trouble because of you, Nathan, I’ll—’

‘You’ll what, Grace?’ He smirked, but she could see the anger flash momentarily across his face.

‘Just remember he’s an eighteen-year-old kid, with his whole life ahead of him, Nathan. Do not do anything to screw that up for him.’

He shrugged. ‘Whatever you say.’

Grace watched him as he blew smoke rings across the kitchen.

‘This is a nice place you’ve got yourself here,’ he said, changing the subject, his eyes twinkling as he talked. ‘The pub must be doing well?’

‘Yes, the pub does okay. It keeps me and Jake anyway.’ She almost told him that it had taken her two years to make the place viable again, after he had almost run it into the ground. But that was old news. All that would have done was start an argument, and she was in no mood for one with him today. Besides, he appeared to be in a very affable mood and she wondered if the previous night’s antics had been forgotten. Or at least written off as some drunken lunacy, brought on by his nostalgia at being back in their old home. Maybe her warning had actually worked, and he realized she was not a woman to be messed with anymore. Whatever the reason, she was grateful that he hadn’t brought it up and appeared to hold no ill feelings about it.

‘How is Kayleigh?’ Grace asked, trying to steer the conversation away from her financial affairs.

‘She’s good, got a terrible hangover this morning though,’ he laughed.

‘She seems like a nice girl.’

‘Yes, she is. She’s a star, my Kayleigh. The way she waited for me to get out of prison. Not many women would do that, it seems.’

‘Well not many women would put up with you, full stop,’ she smiled. ‘Personally, I think I deserve the George Cross for sticking it out as long as I did.’

He shook his head. ‘You’ve developed a sense of humour while I’ve been away, Grace. You never used to be this funny.’ He smiled as he said it, but Grace knew he was rankled by the way he momentarily clenched his jaw.

‘Well, I’d better get to work. You and Jake have a good day,’ she said breezily.

He stood up as she started to leave and kissed her softly on the cheek. ‘You too, Grace.’

As she left the house, Grace undid the top buttons of her blouse to allow some air at her skin, which burned red hot. Nathan was being so nice it was unnerving. Even when she’d tried to push his buttons, he’d kept a lid on his temper. That was Nathan, she supposed, always keeping her on her toes. Or maybe he really had changed? She laughed out loud at that last thought. She was willing to play along with his little charade for now. It was easier for her, after all. But she knew it wouldn’t be long before the charming facade slipped – it always did.

Chapter Six

Grace walked into the almost empty bar area of the Rose and Crown. Her bar manager, Marcus Holden, was placing menus on the tables in preparation for the usual lunchtime crowd. He usually opened up so she could have a lie in – a perk of being the boss. Marcus was her longest serving and most reliable employee, as well as a good friend.

He’d worked at the bar since Grace was seventeen, and at just two years older than her, they’d clicked from the very beginning. When her dad died a year later he helped her to navigate the running of the place and had been by her side ever since, apart from a brief hiatus when Nathan had sacked him without Grace’s knowledge. The first thing she’d done after taking control of her pub again was to phone Marcus and beg him to come back. He’d accepted before she’d even finished the question. He often joked that Grace could never fire him because he knew where the bodies were buried, and Grace always smiled politely when he did, because Marcus had no idea. He was a great pub manager, but she did her best to keep him far away from her other business activities. They both preferred it that way.

Patrick Carter was sitting at the bar on a stool, reading a newspaper and eating a bacon sandwich, which he’d no doubt talked the chef into making him, even though the kitchen wasn’t officially open.

‘Morning, Pat.’ She smiled as she greeted him. ‘What brings you here so early?’

‘Just wanted to make sure you were okay.’ He smiled back.

‘I’m fine. I can look after myself.’

‘I know that, boss. Just here in case you need me,’ he said before returning to his newspaper and sandwich.

It still sounded odd to hear the legendary Patrick Carter calling her Boss. He’d given her that moniker shortly after they’d met ten years ago, and he’d worked for her ever since. But not in the same way Marcus did. No, Patrick undertook more specialized work. He did the type of jobs that you couldn’t advertise in the local newspaper. Running a pub in Liverpool could be a dangerous game after all. Patrick was what some might call her right-hand man. One of her most trusted confidantes. He gave good counsel, but more importantly he knew when to keep his opinions to himself and do as he was told.

Grace took one of the discarded bread crusts from Patrick’s plate. ‘You always leave the best bit,’ she said before taking a bite.

He grinned at her. ‘Leave them for you, don’t I?’

Marcus approached her and put an arm around her shoulder, giving her a light peck on the cheek. ‘Morning, lovely,’ he said. ‘You all right?’

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she snapped. She hated to be coddled by them.

‘Okay, keep your knickers on,’ he pouted. ‘I’m only asking.’

‘We’re just worried about you,’ Patrick added. Before she could reply he interrupted her. ‘Yes, we know you can look after yourself, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be concerned about you.’

‘I know,’ she sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I’m just on edge, that’s all.’

‘I’m not surprised,’ Marcus said. ‘The way he walked in here last night, like he owned the place.’

‘Well that’s Nathan,’ Grace said.

‘I don’t get what you ever saw in him, Grace,’ Patrick said. ‘He’s such an arrogant prick.’

Grace smiled. He was an arrogant prick, there was no doubt about that. But he hadn’t always been that way. Sometimes she allowed herself to think about when they first met and how incredibly happy he’d made her. After losing her dad she’d felt so alone. And then Nathan had bounded into her life, full of energy and confidence. He could make her laugh like no one else ever had. Whenever she was around him the whole world had seemed brighter, and she felt as if she could face anything with Nathan by her side. Dear God, the naiveté of a love-struck teenager, she laughed to herself.

‘What’s so funny?’ Marcus asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.

‘Just thinking about old times,’ she said. ‘Remember when we were young and dumb?’

‘Aw yes.’ He smiled. ‘You used to be so sweet.’

Patrick laughed so hard he spat some of his coffee onto the bar.

Grace ignored them both. She concentrated on picking an imaginary piece of fluff from her skirt so they wouldn’t see her eyes brim with tears. This was why she hated thinking about the past. About the person she once was. The person Nathan was. The possibilities of young love and everything that could have been.

Chapter Seven
Twenty Years Earlier
New Year’s Eve

Grace saw him as soon as he walked into the Rose and Crown. She still considered it her dad’s place, even though it was now entirely hers. She felt completely out of her depth sometimes but being in the bar made her feel close to him. The familiar smells; the constant hum of chatter; the smooth wood of the bar beneath her fingertips; all of them were comforting in their own way.

Grace continued to stare at the handsome stranger. He was so incredibly gorgeous, that it almost felt like her heart stopped when she saw him. She unconsciously held her breath, afraid that if she dared to breathe the spell might be broken, and he would disappear into thin air. He couldn’t be much older than her, but he walked into the room with the confidence of someone who knew exactly who they were, and what they wanted.

As he made his way over to a group of people at the table she was clearing, she noticed the most incredible eyes she had ever seen. Cornflower blue, they sparkled under the bright light of the cheap chandeliers. His dark brown hair stuck to his forehead from the rain. Catching her eye, he smiled, and she almost dropped the tray she was carrying. It was as though someone had hit her knees with a sledgehammer.

‘Whoa!’ he said as he caught her by the elbow. ‘You been drinking on the job? You’ll get the sack if you’re not careful.’ He laughed.

‘That’d be difficult,’ one of the regulars chuckled. ‘It’s her pub.’

The good-looking stranger raised an eyebrow at her. ‘Really? I’m impressed.’

Scurrying away with a bright red face, Grace’s heart pounded in her ears. She hadn’t had much experience with boys. Having gone to an all-girls’ school, and raised by an overprotective, although well-meaning, father, she never got the chance to.

After taking the tray back to the bar, Grace went into the ladies’ toilets in an attempt to compose herself. She wished Marcus didn’t have the night off. He was as hopeless with men as she was, but at least he’d have made her laugh about the whole thing. Splashing her face with some cold water, she tried to cool her flushed cheeks. What an idiot, running off like that. What would he think? She looked herself over in the mirror. Was she plain looking? Well she was never the type of girl who got noticed at any rate. Fashionable? God no. Judging by the teasing she’d got from the other girls at school. Do your make-up in the dark, Grace? Go clothes shopping with your nan, Grace?

Her figure wasn’t bad though. Tucking the loose-fitting T-shirt she was wearing into her jeans, she smoothed the fabric over her flat stomach. Marcus was always telling her not to hide herself away in baggy clothes and to make more of an effort. Oh, God! How she wished she’d made an effort tonight. He must have a girlfriend anyway, and if he didn’t, he’d never be interested in someone like her. After drying her face, she left the sanctuary of the ladies’ room and made her way back out into the crowd, deciding to avoid him for the rest of the night before she got the chance to make an even bigger fool of herself.

‘You managed to break any glasses yet?’ A voice interrupted Grace’s thoughts as she sat on a stool at the side of the bar, nursing a Diet Coke. ‘I’m Nathan,’ he said and smiled.

He looked right into her eyes until she thought she might pass out from fear and excitement. She looked at him blankly for what felt like minutes, until he laughed. If it were possible, his laugh was better than his smile.

‘I’m Grace,’ she finally whispered, all the while chastising herself for being such an idiot.

‘Nice to meet you, Grace,’ he said as he extended his hand.

His hand was warm, and it engulfed hers. The roughness from his calloused fingertips juxtaposed against the soft skin of her palm. She held onto it just a little longer than could be considered polite, not wanting to let him go. When he pulled his hand away she missed the feel of his skin immediately, as though she had always known his touch.

‘So, is this really your pub then?’ he asked.

Grace explained about her mum passing away when she was just a toddler, and how she was an only child. She told him that her dad died a few months earlier, and left the place to her, lock, stock and quite literally, barrel. She told him all about how close she and her dad were and how lost she’d felt without him. Her only remaining relative was her beloved aunt. She was helping out with the pub over the festive period but had moved to Leeds a few years earlier when she met her husband. Before long, the handsome, intimidating stranger, had her jabbering about herself in a way she wouldn’t have thought possible only fifteen minutes before.

‘Grace! I hate to interrupt your social life, but your break finished ten minutes ago and unless it escaped your notice, we’re a bit busy,’ her Aunt Helen shouted from across the bar.

‘I’m sorry. I’ve got to get back to work.’

He took hold of her arm as she climbed off the stool. ‘So who is the lucky fella who gets to kiss you at midnight then?’

‘There is no lucky fella,’ she said as she felt the heat creep up her neck. ‘Why?’

‘Well we can’t have that now, can we? Everyone has to kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s Eve.’

Grace’s stomach started to perform all kinds of unexpected gymnastics. What did he mean by that? Surely not?

‘I’ll come find you at twelve,’ he said, before winking at her and disappearing into the crowd.

The rest of the night passed in a blur. Grace kept replaying the conversation with Nathan over in her head. Did he really mean he wanted to kiss her? Surely he was joking? Or drunk? Or both? What if he left before midnight?

As the night went on she became a bundle of awkwardness. Unable to concentrate on anything, she passed the same table three times before remembering she was supposed to be clearing it of empty glasses. She’d never kissed a boy before, at least nothing you could call a proper kiss. There was that one time when she was fifteen, with Jason Miller, the cool sixth former from the local boys’ school who all the girls fancied. Shuddering, she recalled that encounter. Although he claimed to be St Michael’s High School’s very own answer to Brad Pitt, he appeared to have no idea what he was doing. His tongue felt like a slimy fish, and he just stuck it in there. She’d almost choked. It had not been a pleasant experience. Grace had a feeling that kissing Nathan would be entirely different, and she couldn’t wait.

It was just before midnight and Nathan continued laughing and drinking with his friends. Grace began to wonder again whether the elusive kiss would happen. Why hadn’t he come over to her yet? Was it all a joke? Shifting from one foot to the other as the ten second countdown started, she was still alone in the crowd when she was suddenly grabbed by the waist. Turning around, there he was, that handsome face and those amazing eyes, looking right at her.

‘You’re fucking beautiful, do you know that?’ he said.

Before she could respond, he kissed her, and it was everything that she’d hoped it would be. She could taste the whisky he’d been drinking, and she wondered if it was that which was making her head spin and legs wobble. She swore, even if she never saw him again, she would remember that kiss for the rest of her life.

Chapter Eight
Present Day

Nathan stretched his muscular body across the cool cotton sheets as he admired the naked body of his girlfriend, Kayleigh, while she was deciding what to wear.

He’d met her six years ago, while he was still inside. She was the younger sister of one of his many pad mates, Tony Gallagher. He’d first seen her when she was visiting her brother and within a few weeks she was visiting Nathan instead.

At twenty-seven, she was fourteen years younger than him. She had the body of a page three model. She didn’t have much else about her, but she certainly looked the part, and she gave some of the best head he’d ever had in his life. She told people she was an underwear model, but now her only ambition in life was to look good on Nathan’s arm, and let him keep her in the lifestyle to which she’d recently become accustomed.

‘What do you think about this one, Nathan?’ she asked, holding up a hideous pink dress that wouldn’t look out of place in a knocking shop on the dock road.

‘How about you come here instead and remind me how much you’ve missed me?’ he grinned as he patted the empty space on the bed beside him.

‘Behave yourself!’ she squealed. ‘I’ve got to get a shower or we’ll be late.’

Sighing, Nathan lay back down on the bed. Kayleigh was gorgeous. She did what she was told, when she was told. Everywhere they went, men stared at her and he liked having what other people wanted. She was perfect for him. So why the hell couldn’t he stop thinking about Grace? She occupied his every waking thought.

He’d thought he could just walk back into her life and she’d be waiting for him. Time had a way of standing still in prison. It was easy to forget that the world outside moved on without you. He’d spent years imagining the look on her face when he introduced her to Kayleigh and told her he was no longer interested in middle-aged women nearing their forties. He was going to break her heart – just like she’d broken his when she’d sent him those divorce papers. It had almost killed him to sign them, but he’d had no choice. It had been the only way to stop her running away with Jake.

Walking back into the Rose and Crown had felt like travelling back in time. Despite not setting foot in the place for over twelve years, it still looked, and felt, the same to him. Even the smell was the same – real ale, and people. The mixture of perfume, aftershave, sweat, the cigarette smoke that lingered on the clothes. It was funny how your senses could trick you into believing you were in another time and place. The same faces were still sitting at the bar or doing business at the same vinyl topped tables. He was greeted by everyone. He was a well-known face, and even if people didn’t know him, they liked to tell people that they did.

The only thing that had changed was her. She still looked like his Grace. Still had her long dark hair and curves in exactly the right places. But she wasn’t looking up at the doors, waiting for him to come home anymore. She didn’t smile at him like she used to or look at him like he was the most incredible person she’d ever known. She held herself differently too, full of confidence – and class. She was the type of woman men would look at and think was out of their league. And she’d grown a backbone too. He admired the new Grace. It was hard not to. Not that he would admit that to anyone, especially her.

He felt exactly the same way about her as he always had. As though he’d only left yesterday. He’d spent years convincing himself that she meant nothing to him anymore and it had only taken a few seconds in her presence to undo it all.

He’d seen her as soon as he’d walked into the pub. His eyes drawn to her like she possessed some kind of magnetic field. His chest had tightened, as though someone was squeezing his heart and lungs from the inside, making his breath catch in his throat. How could she still do that to him? He’d looked away before she’d seen him. When they came face to face again, it would be on his terms. There had been no reason to let her believe she had any power over him.

She was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And God, she could still make his dick twitch. Maybe it was muscle memory, he smiled in spite of himself; the memory of all the things they’d done, right there in that pub, on that bar, on those chairs and tables.

It had seemed like fate when Jake dropped his keys just as Nathan was thinking about going to visit some old friends. Seeing the key to the flat above the pub on Jake’s key ring, made him decide just which old friend he’d like to visit. He smiled as he remembered Grace standing there wielding a golf club and how it took all his strength not to burst out laughing. But what happened next was entirely unexpected.

He’d expected her to be the same Grace she’d always been – compliant. But she was tougher now. Not the same gullible girl she was when he left. Even in his drunken state, he could see that. She might just be capable of carrying out her little threat to phone his probation officer. Maybe he would have to tread carefully – for now. But Nathan had a plan. He always had a plan.

Grace thought he’d let her go. He’d thought that he could too, but now he realized she was as essential to him as breathing. She was the only person who really knew him; the only one who knew his secrets – and she’d loved him anyway. Grace was his. She belonged to him. She always had, and she always would. The sooner she remembered that, the better.

Chapter Nine
Twenty Years Earlier
New Year’s Day

Nathan woke with a jolt, his heart pounding in his ears, his body covered in a thin film of sweat. The ghosts of the nightmare that woke him began to fade as the sun filtered through the gap in the curtains. Waiting for his heart rate to slow to a normal pace, he went through his usual morning ritual and scanned the small bedsit, taking note of the various flaws which ground him down on a daily basis. The paint that peeled from the top of the walls exposing the damp beneath, despite the numerous fresh coats of paint he’d painstakingly applied. The myriad of brown and yellow stains on the small kitchen cupboards which no amount of scrubbing could remove.

On any other morning, he’d be filled with a crushing sense of despair at the realization that he’d spent another day, another night, in the shithole he’d called home for the past year. But the memory of the previous night reminded him of the opportunities which were about to come his way. No more grotty bedsits. No more scratching around for bits and pieces of money. He was about to start earning some serious dough after his meeting with Tommy McNulty, which had gone better than he could have ever expected.

Tommy was the owner of The Blue Rooms, a lucrative lap-dancing club on the dock road. But that was just his respectable front. He also controlled the bulk of the huge quantities of drugs that came in and out of the docks. No one dared breathe without Tommy’s say-so. He was one of the most feared and respected men in Liverpool. In his late forties, he’d been at the top of his game for almost twenty years. Ruling with brutality, he was considered fair to those who were straight with him. But cross him, and you’d be likely to never walk again at the very least, or more likely you’d disappear and never be found. And he guaranteed his employees a good earn, ensuring they remained loyal soldiers.

Nathan could hardly believe it when the big man had asked for a meet with him. The fact that Tommy even knew his name made him nervous. He wondered if he’d stepped on some toes he shouldn’t have. But no one turned down a meet with Tommy McNulty, not if they wanted to live to tell the tale anyway.

As it turned out, Tommy was looking for some new muscle, and he’d heard about Nathan’s growing reputation. His job offer came at just the right time for Nathan. Bored taxing petty drug dealers, he was keen to find employment more befitting his particular expertise. He was smart enough to realize that an offer of work from Tommy was a ticket to the premier league and just the opportunity he’d been waiting for.

Nathan knew he’d impressed Tommy. Well, why wouldn’t he? He was good at what he did. Tommy said he was a cocky little bastard but then he offered him the job on the spot. If Nathan could prove himself, he could move up the ranks quickly, and one day maybe even run things himself. It was the opportunity he’d been waiting for. His whole life had been in preparation for this. The thought that he was destined for greater things was the only thing that got him out of bed every morning. Working for someone like Tommy was what he was born for. Nathan Conlon was well aware that he was only good at one thing – hurting people. After all, he’d learned from the best.

Then there was that bird – Grace. There was something about her. She was gorgeous, but she seemed to have absolutely no idea of that. He closed his eyes and pictured her. Big brown eyes and long dark hair. She’d been wearing a baggy T-shirt and jeans, but he’d still been able to see her big tits and slim waist beneath. She was shy too, and different from the girls he usually fucked about with. He smiled as he remembered how she blushed and almost ran away when he spoke to her. And then of course there was the fact that she owned that pub. The place was a gold mine. Eighteen years old and it was all hers. The things he could do with that kind of capital behind him.

He was looking forward to seeing her again later. If he played his cards right, she’d probably let him spend the night. Sitting up in bed, he took a cigarette from the packet on the bedside table, lit it and took a long drag.

Yes, this was going to be a good year for him.

Chapter Ten
Present Day

Grace could see Ivan waving frantically through the coffee shop window, trying to get her attention. She ordered a latte from the young barista and joined him at his table.

‘Thanks for meeting me here, Grace,’ he said. ‘I didn’t fancy the prospect of your Nathan turning up and giving me another grilling.’

‘Not a problem,’ she said. ‘But he’s not my Nathan.’

She had other plans that required her being out of the way for the day anyway, now that Nathan was calling into the pub almost every day, as he had done for the past two weeks. Always under the pretence he was there to see Jake, of course. Jake, who neither worked or lived there. It was infuriating. Knowing that he could turn up at any moment made her feel like she always had to be on her guard. It was bloody exhausting.

Ivan Golding had been Grace’s accountant for almost twelve years. He handled all her money and investments and he was very good at what he did. He had become a dear friend and she trusted him implicitly.

‘What did Nathan say to you, then?’ she asked Ivan.

‘He came to my office and asked me why I was visiting you at home and what business we had together. He started getting a bit aggressive, Grace. So, I had to tell him I’m your accountant, just to get him to stop glaring at me like that.’ Then in a voice that was barely a whisper, he said, ‘I think he thought we were, well – you know.’

She stifled a laugh. Ivan was a lovely man but he was over twenty years older than her and a few inches shorter too. Not Grace’s type at all. Not to mention he was as camp as they come. She was sure Nathan didn’t think that anything was going on between them, it was just one example of his many intimidation tactics.

‘So, then what did he say?’ she asked, anxious to find out just what exactly Nathan was up to.

‘He kept asking me why you needed an accountant and what pies you had your fingers in, or something like that. He really is quite vulgar, Grace; I truly don’t understand what you ever saw in him. Well, aside from the obvious,’ he said, raising his eyebrows in a gesture so comical it almost made her spit her coffee at him.

‘Whatever do you mean, Ivan?’ she asked him with a smirk, feigning her ignorance.

He let out a short laugh. ‘You know exactly what I mean. You cheeky mare; he looks like he just walked out of a photo shoot for GQ magazine.’

She nodded then. ‘Ah yes, that, and there’s also the fact that he’s hung like a donkey.’

Ivan looked at her in mock horror, his mouth agape, until they both started laughing so loud they started to draw attention to themselves.

‘Anyway,’ Ivan continued, ‘I told him you just like to keep the pub books in order, and that was that. I was quite firm with him, and I think he got the message. I told him nothing of the restaurants. And certainly, nothing of your other investments and activities,’ he said quietly. ‘And obviously, I never would.’

‘Thank you, Ivan. I appreciate your discretion,’ she told him, giving his hand a squeeze. She had no doubt that Nathan would keep digging and find out about her involvement in what had once been his domain soon enough. But the longer she could keep it from him, the better. While he still thought she was nothing more than a pub landlady, he’d be more likely to divulge information about his own business dealings – and that could prove very useful.

Ivan and Grace discussed her finances over another cup of coffee and a pastry.

‘So, everything has been sorted and is in order, Grace, just like you asked. I’ve moved what money I needed to, so everything in your new place will be entirely above board. Well, it will be as far as the taxman is concerned anyway.’

‘Thanks, Ivan. You are a legend,’ she told him, before giving him a kiss on the cheek as she got up to leave.

He took hold of her hand as she started to walk away. ‘Be careful, Grace. That Nathan seems like a real nasty piece of work. If he ever finds out what you did …’

‘Don’t worry. He won’t. Not unless I want him to anyway.’ She smiled at the irony of Ivan warning her about Nathan’s character. As if she didn’t know better than anyone else in the world just exactly what type of man Nathan was. It was that knowledge which sometimes kept her awake at night, but also what made her certain that she could take him down if she needed to.

Stepping outside into the street, Grace cursed as she felt the drops of rain falling onto her bare arms. She’d forgotten her umbrella and was supposed to be meeting someone on the other side of the city centre. She’d get soaked to the skin if she walked there. Taking her phone out of her handbag, she dialled his number.

‘Can you pick me up? I’ve forgotten my coat and my umbrella.’

‘I hope you’ve forgotten your underwear too,’ he laughed.

‘Behave yourself,’ she said, feigning her indignation.

‘Be there in five, babe,’ he said, and she could imagine his smile as he said it; that lovely relaxed grin of his that made her want to kiss him all over his face. She smiled too, thinking of the wonderful afternoon they were about to spend together. For a few hours at least, she would forget that Nathan Conlon even existed.

Chapter Eleven

Grace had just finished serving one of her regulars as she heard the doors of the Rose and Crown burst open. The sun rushed in behind him, illuminating his silhouette against the doorway. She groaned inwardly as he approached her. It had been almost four weeks since he’d walked back into her life and she’d had to endure seeing him almost every day since.

‘What are you doing here, Nathan?’

‘Is that any way to greet the love of your life, Grace?’ he smirked.

‘Jake’s not here,’ she snapped.

‘That’s okay,’ he said as he took a seat at the bar. ‘I’m here to meet a friend of mine. I’ll have a whisky while I wait.’

She poured his Scotch and placed it on the bar in front of him. ‘That’ll be £2.80,’ she said.

‘Piss off,’ he spat. ‘I can’t believe you’re still making me pay for my drinks. Are you serious?’

‘Yes.’ She held out her hand until he reluctantly placed a £10 note in it.

‘I’ve been hearing some interesting rumours about you, Grace,’ Nathan said as she was handing him his change.

‘Have you?’ She sighed, in no mood for conversation with him.

‘Yes. Very interesting,’ he persisted.

‘Okay, Nathan. I’ll bite, What sort of rumours?’

‘That you’re not quite as lily-white as you used to be.’

‘Well you’ll know I’m not the same idiotic girl who used to think the sun shone out of your arse then? You can’t push me around anymore.’

He started laughing. ‘Is that so?’

‘God, you’re such a prick,’ she replied.

‘Aw come on, you know you still love me really.’ He grinned before he took a sip of his whisky. ‘Anyway, tell me, why is Patrick Carter always hanging around here? Every time I come in here, he’s skulking around.’

‘He is not skulking around. He’s a paying customer. He’s very welcome here. Unlike you.’

‘You’re not fucking him, are you?’ he asked, his face contorted in disgust.

‘Not that it’s any of your business,’ she hissed. ‘But no, I am not fucking him. He’s a friend of mine, and besides, he’s old enough to be my dad.’ She glared at him. If he registered the veiled insult about his relationship with Kayleigh, then he didn’t show it.

‘Who are you fucking then?’ he asked, his tone suddenly serious.

She stared at him. Who the hell did he think he was? ‘None of your damn business, that’s who,’ she snapped.

‘It will always be my business, Grace. You’re my wife.’

‘I’m your ex-wife, Nathan.’

He ignored her correcting him. ‘So, there is someone then?’

She leaned in close to him and said quietly in his ear: ‘You were enough to put me off men for life, sunshine.’

Turning her back on him, Grace went to serve another customer. She smiled and made polite conversation, but her stomach churned and her heart pounded in her ears. Nathan knew exactly how to push her buttons. The way he treated her like she was his property made her skin crawl. There was a time, when she was an idiotic, love-struck teenager, that she’d thought his possessiveness was quite endearing and his jealousy simply an outward display that he loved her just as much as she loved him. What a fool she’d been.

Chapter Twelve
Twenty Years Earlier

Nathan brought out the heavy tray of freshly washed glasses from the kitchen and placed them on the bar. He’d decided to work at the pub for the night. He liked to keep an eye on the place sometimes and make sure no one was taking the piss. It gave him a chance to keep an eye on Grace too, and he was glad he’d decided to tonight. There was a young lad who’d been sitting at the bar for a while. He’d been fucking about with the same beer for about half an hour and the cheeky prick had spent most of his time staring at Grace’s arse. Nathan looked at her. Wearing trousers and a shirt, her usual pub attire, nothing was on show as per his instructions. But there was no hiding her figure. She just had something about her.

He started to get hard thinking about what he was going to do to her later, and the way she was always so eager to please him. For her part, Grace seemed oblivious to the lad drooling over her. But that meant she was as friendly to him as she was any other customer, and that just encouraged the poor bastard. Fortunately, for them both, Nathan was in a good mood. He saw the lad signal to Grace to serve him. As she reached him, Nathan came up beside her and slipped an arm around her waist.

‘I’ll get this, babe,’ he said against her ear.

Nathan pulled the young lad’s pint. ‘Not seen you here before, mate, what’s the name?’

‘Liam. I’ve been coming here the past couple of weeks.’

‘Yes, I bet you have,’ he mumbled. Handing him his pint, Nathan leaned down, his elbows on the bar and his face just a few inches from Liam’s. He smiled for appearance’s sake, but he knew with certainty, that it did not disguise the menace in his voice. ‘You do know that’s my girlfriend whose arse you’ve been staring at all night, don’t you?’

Liam swallowed hard. ‘I wasn’t staring, mate. Honest,’ he stuttered.

‘If I ever catch you looking at her again, I will rip your fucking nuts off, and stuff them down your throat. Do you hear me?’

Liam nodded and scuttled off out of the pub. Nathan laughed to himself, sure that would be the last they’d see of him.

The pub had been so busy; Grace had barely had time to think. It always seemed busier when Nathan was there. So many people stopped in to see him, to discuss something or other. He was so at ease behind the bar and the customers loved him too. He always kept them all in good humour, with his constant jokes and easy charm, making sure that they stayed all night to spend their hard-earned money. She, on the other hand, always felt a bit uneasy when he was there, like he was always watching her, waiting for her to say or do the wrong thing, to laugh a little too much at one of the customer’s awful jokes. It was probably just her imagination, but it was a feeling she couldn’t shake. Liam had left after Nathan spoke to him. Grace hoped he hadn’t scared him off; Liam had become a regular and he was harmless.

Once they had seen the last punter out and locked the doors, Grace started to climb the stairs to the flat, with Nathan at her heels. If he were any closer, she would have fallen over his feet. As always, she felt his presence so acutely and wondered what sort of mood he was in. He’d been in good spirits all night, but she knew better than most how quickly his moods could change. As soon as they were inside the flat he grabbed her by the waist and pushed her up against the wall, the full weight of his body pressing into hers, his erection pressing into her hip. He put one hand on her throat, just holding it there.

‘I saw the way that Liam kid was looking at you tonight, Grace. He wants you.’

‘Don’t be daft, Nate. He’s just a kid.’

Nathan shook his head. ‘Trust me, he wants you. I can tell by the way he looks at you, wondering at what lies beneath,’ he said as he started to unbutton her trousers with his free hand. ‘Do you know how hard it makes me when I see other men looking at you, Grace?’ He growled as he pushed his groin into hers as if to prove his point. ‘When I know they’re thinking about fucking you, about touching you the way I do.’

Conscious of his fingers on her throat, she flinched, but his grip didn’t tighten, and he began to caress her neck with his thumb.

‘But I’m yours, Nathan, only yours,’ she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Hoping that he would stop talking about other men wanting her, as it was a subject which was sure to enrage him sooner or later.

He laughed. ‘Oh, I know you are, and don’t you ever forget it!’

Pushing his tongue into her mouth, he kissed her in that way that made her forget her own name before making love to her right there in the hallway.

Chapter Thirteen
Present Day

Nathan sat at his usual table in a quiet corner of the Rose and Crown, waiting for his best mate, Ben McKinley, to talk over a business proposition Nathan had for him. Ben had been semi-legit for a long time, and owned his own garage, but he could still be persuaded to get his hands dirty when the occasion called for it. And Nathan was about to pull off a big takeover; he needed people he trusted around him – and there was no one he trusted more than Ben.

Jake had turned up and was sitting at the bar watching Everton getting slaughtered, as usual. Grace pottered about around him. Nathan watched them both from his vantage point. The closeness they shared was clear enough for a blind man to see. The way Jake looked at his mum every time someone scored – either to convey his joy or dismay. And the way Grace smiled at him, reassuring him everything would always be okay. Nathan had always been envious of their bond. He’d sometimes felt like a voyeur intruding on their happiness. Always standing on the side-lines and never truly one of them. He’d wanted to be. He’d tried to be one of them. Especially after Jake was born; he’d really tried to change. But the pull of his other life had always been too strong. He missed the adulation, the respect, the look in someone’s eyes when they knew they were beaten.

He loved them both more than he’d ever loved anyone. They were the only family he’d ever known. At the age of thirteen, he’d promised himself he’d never let anyone have that sort of power over him again. But ever since he’d met Grace, he’d been besotted by her. He loved her so much, sometimes it felt like he couldn’t breathe without her, and he’d gone and forgotten his most important rule.

Then Grace fell pregnant and it was game over. He’d never wanted kids. That was until she’d told him they were going to have one anyway. If there was anyone he would have chosen to have a baby with, it was her. She was everything a mum should be: warm, caring, and fortunately for him, forgiving. She was an amazing mum, he could never deny that. She had given their son the best home a child could ask for. Not like his own slut of a mother who had never given him any of those things. She’d left him to fend for himself most of the time and was more interested in the various men that drifted in and out of her life than she ever was in Nathan. He was never a priority, never first choice. He always felt like he was in the way. Her greatest regret – that’s what she always told him anyway.

Social services took him away from her when he was eight and she didn’t even try and stop them. Nathan told everyone, even Grace, that she’d died. The truth was, he had absolutely no idea where she was. She probably was dead anyway, her body ruined by years of alcohol and drug abuse.

Nathan never knew his father and, apparently, he didn’t even know his son existed. His mother would never tell Nathan who he was, and claimed she didn’t know, but he never believed her. He always fantasized that his dad would find out about him one day and would rescue him from his miserable life. But of course, his father never came, and Nathan learned that the only person who could rescue him was himself. Only he could pull himself out of the stench and the ugliness he was born into. Shake off the dirt and the shame that were the shackles of his childhood and become something better.

What was it about Grace? He’d always been able to have any woman he wanted. Why could she get to him the way no one else ever could? He used to ask himself those questions all the time. But now he knew. It was the way she made him feel. The way she looked at him like he was the most incredible person in the world. She saw through his suit of armour to the monster beneath and she’d still loved him. She made him feel safe. She was home.

Seeing her and Jake together gave him a hollow feeling in his chest. It didn’t matter how many people were around him, or claimed to be loyal to him, to love him even. When he saw Grace and Jake together, it made him feel more alone than he ever had in his life. It reminded him of the nights he’d spent at home, abandoned, as a small child, waiting for his mother to return. Sometimes it was hours, sometimes days before she came back to him.

Grace and Jake were his family. He belonged with them. He already had Jake believing he was the best dad in the world. His next step was to convince Grace to take him back again. He would make it happen if it was the last thing he did. Whether she wanted to or not. After all, it was her fault that he’d ended up on the path he had. There was a time he was so close to a different life. He had it all planned out. It was just within his grasp. Then he gave it all up – for her. Everything was always for her. Even if she didn’t know it.

Chapter Fourteen
Twenty Years Earlier

Nathan lay awake staring at the ceiling, listening to the soothing rhythm of Grace’s steady breathing. Despite putting a twelve-hour shift in earlier, which made all of his limbs ache in a way they never had before, he couldn’t sleep. He could never switch off like Grace did. Within minutes of her head hitting the pillow she was out like a light, but he lay awake for hours. He’d never been a great sleeper; the constant nightmares had seen to that. But this was something else. A nervous energy that kept his mind racing.

He smiled as he remembered a tale he’d told a few of the regulars in the pub earlier, which had ended in Morris the handbag laughing so hard he almost choked, bitter running out of his nose, and old Mick having to run to the gents before he pissed himself. Nathan always had a gag or a funny story to amuse them with, and they lapped it up. They said he was the best thing to have happened to the place in a long time. Now that his name was above the door, people looked at him differently. He was someone. He could refuse to serve any one of them simply because he wanted to. He could throw any of them out on their arse if they even looked at him the wrong way.

Working for Tommy McNulty wasn’t panning out quite as he’d expected. He hated being the new kid. Some days he felt like a glorified errand boy and he was tired of it. Maybe that was why he’d always preferred to work alone? No need to impress anyone. No requirement to ‘fit in’. Of course, he was always needed when something was about to kick off, but he knew he wasn’t being let anywhere near the real danger – or the real money. He was never invited to the quiet little meetings at Tommy’s club, or the after-hours drinking sessions when the good whisky came out.

Of course, there was a certain kudos that came with being associated with someone like Tommy, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that his boss was either waiting for him to prove himself – or to fuck up, and Nathan didn’t have the patience to wait and see which one happened first.

Maybe he’d just keep managing the bar? Tell Tommy that Grace needed him there and he just didn’t have time for anything else. Could he do that? Just walk away from Tommy McNulty? Surely the fact that it was to manage the Rose and Crown and look after Grace would make Tommy more amenable to the situation, given Tommy’s connection to Grace’s dad. A connection that Grace was entirely unaware of and one that Tommy insisted she would never find out about.

Yes, his mind was made up. Tomorrow he was going to talk to Tommy. Thank him for the opportunity he’d given him but tell him that he couldn’t do it anymore. He was going to concentrate on being the landlord of the pub. He had loads of ideas to bring in more business. Live bands. Maybe some food? Quiz nights. He laughed quietly as he turned to bury his head in the pillow. Nathan Conlon going legit. Who’d have thought it?

Tommy McNulty handed Kenny the glass of Scotch he’d just poured. Kenny Lennox had been his right-hand man since his best mate, Patrick Carter, had got sent down for a twelve stretch. Kenny had been with him since the beginning, but the sad truth was that, at the age of forty, Kenny was already past it. One too many run-ins with a fist or a baseball bat, and on one occasion a crow-bar, had left him with a dodgy knee and a bad shoulder. He’d never been the brightest bulb in any case, but the repeated blows to the head had left him with little in the way of the old grey matter. It was only a matter of time before Kenny was replaced by a younger, stronger model. And Tommy knew exactly who that man would be. He’d been grooming the lad ever since he’d met him.

‘So he’s gone to sort the daft prick out on his own then. Boss?’ Kenny asked as he took a seat on the chair opposite Tommy’s desk.

Tommy nodded. ‘Yeah. He’ll be fine. Have you seen the lad in a scrap? He can look after himself, Ken. Plus, he’s got balls of solid iron.’

‘I know that, it’s just …’

‘Just what?’ Tommy snapped.

Kenny swallowed. ‘Well, Terry’s no mug. And Nathan’s just a kid. I could have gone with him, that’s all.’

‘Listen, Kenny. Nathan is more than capable of handling Terry fucking Barnes. The lad is an animal. And he wanted to sort this himself. He won’t have anyone threatening Grace, or her pub.’

Kenny frowned. ‘But Terry would never threaten Grace. He’s not that stupid. He knows the score.’

‘Yeah. But Nathan doesn’t need to know that. So, Terry never actually threatened her. I embellished a little.’

‘But …’ Kenny started but one look from his boss obviously made him think again and he stopped mid-sentence.

‘Look, this is the perfect opportunity for the kid. Give him a chance to show us what he’s made of. And if Terry Barnes should be wiped off the face of the earth as a result – then all the better. He’s been getting right on my tits lately. Save me topping him myself. He’s been taking far too many liberties and I can’t have it, Ken.’

‘You think Nathan will finish him off then?’ Kenny raised an eyebrow.

Tommy shrugged. ‘Possibly. There’s no saying what that crazy bastard will do. Especially if he thinks Grace is in trouble.’

‘Well I suppose it makes sense, boss.’

‘Of course it makes fucking sense. In a few hours, my Terry problem will be sorted, and I’ll have the true measure of Nathan Conlon.’ Tommy smiled as he downed the last of his Scotch.

Chapter Fifteen

Nathan slid down the wall of Terry Barnes’s flat as if in slow motion, until he was seated on the floor, legs outstretched in front of him. His heart pounded so hard he thought it might burst through his ribcage. Holding out his hands in front of him, he blinked as he surveyed the damage. The skin of his knuckles so broken and red he couldn’t tell which blood was his and which was Terry’s. The blood. It was everywhere. Covering his hands. His forearms. A glance down at his clothes confirmed his suspicion that it didn’t stop there – his T-shirt and jeans streaked with violent splashes of red.

Three feet to the left of him lay Terry’s lifeless body. His face unrecognizable from the man who’d opened the door less than half an hour ago. Nathan hadn’t meant to kill him. Things had just got out of control.

Tommy had phoned him earlier; told him it was urgent. Like the dutiful soldier, Nathan had obeyed, thinking it would be his chance to tell Tommy about his plans to manage the Rose and Crown full-time. But then Tommy had told him about Terry.

Terry Barnes was a low-life coke dealer who liked to shout his mouth off and make threats to anyone who’d listen when he’d had a few too many. The fact that he was the nephew of a well-connected city councillor made him think he had a free pass to piss off anyone he fancied, although he was usually smart enough not to mess with people like Tommy – people who didn’t give a flying fuck about his uncle, because they had far more important people in their pockets. But anyone who’d ever had cause to have any dealings with Terry would happily toss him into the Mersey with a pair of concrete wellies if they thought they could get away with it.

He’d been in the pub a few nights earlier, pissed as a fart, making threats to anyone who’d listen and giving Grace a hard time. Nathan had thrown him out and given him a slap for his trouble and thought no more of it, but Terry had other ideas. According to Tommy, he’d been telling anyone who’d listen that the Rose and Crown and its owner were in big trouble. Specifically, he would give that stuck-up bitch who owned the place a good hiding. That revelation had made Nathan’s head almost explode. The thought of Terry fucking Barnes with his hands on Grace – his Grace.

Tommy told Nathan to ‘have a word’ and make sure that Terry never darkened the door of the Rose and Crown again. Threatening Grace was personal as far as Tommy was concerned, and he was trusting Nathan to deal with it.

So, Nathan had gone around there straight away, with the intention of giving Terry a good kicking. Maybe breaking some bones. And he would have done just that. But Terry made a fatal mistake. He laughed at him. Called Nathan a nobody. Then he offered to show Grace what a ‘real man’ was.

Nathan had felt a rage like he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He punched a still laughing Terry full force in the face. There was a sickening crunch before Terry dropped to the floor like a sack of spanners. Nathan kept punching him. Over and over. Pummelling the unconscious Terry’s head and face. Releasing all of his pent-up rage. He didn’t stop until his arms ached.

Terry hadn’t stood a chance. No one would underestimate Nathan Conlon ever again.

Wiping his hands on his jeans to remove some of the sticky, congealing liquid, Nathan took the mobile phone from his back pocket and dialled Tommy’s number. His boss answered after three rings.

‘Yeah, kid?’

Nathan didn’t answer. What could he say? He’d fucked up big time. He was supposed to warn Terry off, not turn his face into a plate of chilli con carne. Terry was connected. How the hell was he going to get away with this?

‘Nathan,’ Tommy snapped.

‘I’ve killed him, boss,’ Nathan said quietly.

There was a moment’s silence that felt like it lasted for hours before Tommy laughed. ‘Fucking hell, lad. You don’t mess about, do you?’

‘Sorry.’

‘Don’t worry, kid. You did good. Stay put and I’ll send some people to sort it out.’

‘Thanks, Tommy. I owe you.’

‘You certainly fucking do.’ Tommy laughed again and hung up the phone.

Nathan sat in the hallway of Terry’s flat. He was no stranger to violence. He’d been around it all of his life. But he’d never killed anyone before. He supposed he should have felt bad somehow. Should have been begging whatever God there was out there for forgiveness. But he didn’t. He felt relief. He’d just beaten a man to death with his bare hands and it felt good. At that moment, he knew he’d never be satisfied just being the manager of a pub. A normal job would never be enough for him. He had a gift. He’d been told that before but now he believed it. And he would use it to make sure no one would dare laugh at him ever again.

Chapter Sixteen
Present Day

Grace could see the blonde head bobbing up and down in the crowd as Sandra Redman, one-time barmaid of the Rose and Crown, made her way towards her. Sandra was late as usual and she was almost running. Her face broke into a smile when she spotted Grace through the crowd.

‘Grace,’ she beamed and pulled her into a hug. ‘You look lovely – as always.’

‘As do you, Sandra. Married life must suit you.’

Sandra shrugged her shoulders and the two women went inside the busy restaurant. As they were seated by their waiter, Grace could see him eyeing Sandra’s legs as she slid into the booth. Sandra had always been fond of her short skirts. She certainly had the legs for them.

‘How’s Jake?’ Sandra asked.

Grace told her all about his plans for university and how she was hoping he’d get the exam results he needed. ‘And how’s Eddie?’

Sandra rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, his usual charming self. I despair with him, Grace, I really do. He’s nineteen going on forty. He won’t get a job. Treats me like his skivvy. I swear he becomes angrier every day.’

Grace shook her head in sympathy. ‘I’m sure he’ll sort himself out soon, Sandra,’ she tried to reassure her. ‘He’s probably just trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life. And at least now he has Richie to look up to.’

Sandra shook her head. ‘Eddie and Richie don’t seem to be getting on at all. They rub each other up the wrong way. Richie just wants a quiet life, but Eddie seems to want to cause World War Three every time he comes through the door. You’re so lucky Jake has his head screwed on.’

‘Jake has just found something he likes to do. I’m sure Eddie will soon, and then he’s bound to settle down a bit.’

‘I’m sure you’re right,’ she sighed. ‘I’m just afraid of what he will discover he likes doing!’

Jake and Eddie had met a few times when they were younger, but they didn’t get on at all; they were as different as day and night. Sandra and Grace, on the other hand, had a lot in common and were good friends.

They made small talk and caught up on what had been going on in each other’s lives, but Grace knew there was something else on Sandra’s mind. There was a nervousness about her; she fidgeted more than usual and constantly looked at the door.

‘Have you seen him then?’ she asked Grace eventually.

Grace nodded in response. She’d seen him almost every bloody day for the past six weeks. It was maddening, never knowing when he was going to turn up. No doubt it was part of his ploy to remind her exactly who was boss. He had no bloody idea! It would be funny if it wasn’t so annoying.

‘How did it go?’ Sandra asked.

‘Fine,’ she replied nonchalantly. ‘He’s got a new girlfriend now. She seems nice.’ Grace knew Sandra wouldn’t ask her what she really wanted to know, so she told her. ‘Don’t worry, Sandra. I would never tell him about you and Eddie. He doesn’t know. I swear.’

Sandra blushed. ‘I know you wouldn’t tell him. Thanks, Grace, it’s just that he terrifies me.’

Grace smiled at her. ‘Well I know that feeling,’ and they both laughed.

After they ordered their meal from the waiter, Sandra slipped a small envelope across the table to Grace. ‘Here’s that information you asked for,’ she said quietly.

Placing the envelope in her handbag, Grace smiled at her companion. ‘Thanks, Sandra. I really appreciate it.’

‘Any time, Grace. I’m glad I can help.’

‘I wish you’d let me pay you for your trouble.’

‘It’s no trouble, honestly. I’m happy to help you out. I told you, no one questions anything I do. I’ve been there longer than everyone else so I’m pretty much given free rein. And our IT systems are so antiquated there’s no way to tell what information is accessed.’

‘Well at least let me treat you to dinner,’ Grace said.

‘Deal,’ Sandra smiled.

Grace watched her friend as she tucked into her prawn linguine and felt a brief pang of guilt. She knew Sandra would do anything for her. Their history was a complicated one and it was one which allowed Grace to call in a favour whenever she needed to. It made Grace wonder at the woman she’d become. Manipulating her friendship with Sandra for her own ends. There was a time she’d never have even contemplated such a thing. But that was before Nathan. Before he’d taught her how to be just like him.

Sandra was a receptionist in a doctor’s office and had access to a wealth of NHS data. She’d provided Grace with information before and she was under the impression Grace used it to thoroughly vet her employees. But in fact, Grace used it as a means to gain an advantage over her rivals – whether it be an address to trace someone who’d gone on the missing list or finding out someone’s health or personal issues, to manipulate a weak spot. The possibilities were endless once you knew what to look for.

The envelope in Grace’s handbag was going to help Patrick negotiate a new business deal with an old rival of Nathan’s, Kevin Mitchell. Kevin was as arrogant and as ruthless as Nathan, but he’d never quite been able to reach the top of his game like Nathan had. With Nathan sniffing around wanting to know who had the monopoly on supplying drugs to the vast majority of clubs in Liverpool, Grace had realized it might be helpful to bring in a business partner. Someone who could be the face of the operation. If Nathan wanted to go to war over it, then he could go to war with Kevin, who had a small army of hired thugs at his disposal. The outcome of which wouldn’t matter much to Grace. Kevin’s and Nathan’s firms could battle it out to the death as far as she was concerned. But she’d get the lion’s share of the profits with none of the aggravation.

Grace didn’t like to use the term blackmail, but the fact she had evidence that Kevin’s mistress had recently aborted his child, would certainly make the negotiations with Kevin much smoother. If his wife, Mel, ever found out about his extramarital dalliances, she’d string him up in Liverpool city centre by his balls, for the whole world to see.

Chapter Seventeen

Squinting in the evening sunlight, Nathan pulled his sunglasses from the glovebox of his car. He was parked on a side road, with a clear view of Antonelli’s restaurant on the high street, hoping to catch Grace when she came out. He’d called at the Rose and Crown to look for her earlier and had tried his best to hide his disappointment when Jake told him where she’d gone. She was meeting a friend apparently. With nothing else to do, Nathan decided it wouldn’t hurt to find out just who this friend was.

He’d never been to Antonelli’s. It was a new Italian, owned by Sean Carter of all people. Nathan frowned as he realized it was probably no coincidence Grace was choosing to eat at Sean’s place. She seemed to have some connection to the Carter family that he couldn’t quite get to the bottom of.

It looked like a nice place. All chrome and glass and fancy signage. Apparently, it was a new Liverpool hotspot. Nathan had no idea how Sean had managed to walk away from his former life and open a string of restaurants, but he was seemingly squeaky clean these days. Where had he found the capital for his business venture? He must have had a backer, but who?

Sean and his brother Michael had been arrested as part of the operation that saw Nathan doing twelve years inside. He knew that the brothers had lost everything, just as he had. Their houses, cars, money. Proceeds of crime, apparently. Not that Nathan’s losses could be explained away so easily. Over a million he’d had stashed in his lock-up from the job they’d been working on, had mysteriously disappeared – apparently. Nathan knew exactly who’d taken it. The thieving, scumbag, bizzies. There was no way they couldn’t have found that in his lock-up. They put on a good show though. For all outward appearances, they appeared to be scratching their heads looking for it, and he could hardly say anything, could he? The money he’d paid that shower of cunts over the years and they still saw fit to rob him blind.

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