With humor and insight, #1 New York Times bestselling author Robyn Carr explores letting go of the past—and finding something worth building a future on

SINGLE DAD AND THUNDER POINT’S DEPUTY sheriff “Mac” McCain has worked hard to keep his town safe and his daughter happy. Now he’s found his own happiness with Gina James. The longtime friends have always shared the challenges and rewards of raising their adolescent daughters. With an unexpected romance growing between them, they’re feeling like teenagers themselves—suddenly they can’t get enough of one another.

And just when things are really taking off, their lives are suddenly thrown into chaos. When Mac’s long-lost ex-wife shows up in town, drama takes on a whole new meaning. Mac and Gina know they’re meant to be together, but can their newfound love withstand the pressure?

Praise for #1 New York Times bestselling author

and USA TODAY bestselling author

“This book is an utter delight.”

—RT Book Reviews on Moonlight Road

“Strong conflict, humor and well-written characters

are Carr’s calling cards, and they’re all present here....You won’t want to put this one down.”

—RT Book Reviews on Angel’s Peak

“This story has everything: a courageous,

outspoken heroine, a to-die-for hero and a plot that

will touch readers’ hearts on several different levels. Truly excellent.”

—RT Book Reviews on Forbidden Falls

“An intensely satisfying read.

By turns humorous and gut-wrenchingly emotional,

it won’t soon be forgotten.”

—RT Book Reviews on Paradise Valley

“Carr has hit her stride with this captivating series.”

—Library Journal on the Virgin River series

“The Virgin River books are so compelling—

I connected instantly with the characters

and just wanted more and more and more.”

—#1 New York Times bestselling author

Debbie Macomber

The Newcomer

Robyn Carr

www.mirabooks.co.uk

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Acknowledgment

One

It was a warm, sunny afternoon in early April, a rarity on the Oregon coast at this time of year. The frequent spring rainstorms meant that the beautiful wildflowers—the best in the country—were on their way. Hank Cooper sat out on the deck of Ben & Cooper’s Bar in his white T-shirt and jeans, his feet propped up on the deck rail. Hamlet, Sarah’s harlequin Great Dane, sat beside him, watching the sea, his ears perking up when a person, a boat or bird caught his eye. Cooper was enjoying a heavily creamed coffee and watching his lovely Sarah Dupre paddleboarding out on the bay. She wore the wet suit—short sleeves, knee-length—he’d given her for Christmas. It kept her warm even though the water hadn’t warmed up yet; it was icy cold. The Pacific was always cold, except maybe down San Diego way. But Sarah was an expert; she rarely got her feet wet.

The way that wet suit hugged her body—it was like art. She had incredibly strong legs, a perfect round tush, breasts about the size of his palms. She’d been born in a coastal town and was probably as comfortable on the water as she was on the land or in the sky—diver, swimmer, surfer, helicopter pilot.

Cooper and Ham had been watching Sarah for an hour; she’d gone all the way out to the mouth of the bay and back. She was finally coming in, just ahead of the fishing boats headed home to the marina.

This life was the furthest thing from what Cooper had ever envisioned for himself. He had come to Thunder Point last October to look into the death of a good friend, Ben Bailey. To his surprise he had inherited what was Ben’s falling-down bait shop and bar. For lack of a better idea he renovated the place, turning it into a first-class beach bar, and had found himself a new home. He also found a woman in Thunder Point, another surprise he hadn’t been looking for. After all the women in his life, short- or long-term, Sarah was everything he’d been waiting for.

He had officially opened the beach bar—minus the bait—in late February. Now, as the proprietor, there was plenty of time to visit with folks from town, let the gentle lapping of the bay soothe him, watch his woman on her board, gently gliding across the calm water between the huge offshore boulders in the bay. Cooper had a farmer’s tan, stronger shoulders from lifting and hauling bar supplies and a lot of new friends when he’d always considered himself a solitary kind of guy.

Sarah leaned her board and paddle against the dock and came up the stairs. When she reached the deck, Cooper tossed her a towel and she dried off her feet, glad of the warm sunshine.

“What have you been up to?” Sarah asked.

“Absolutely nothing. Just watching my mermaid.”

She laughed. “Did Hamlet behave himself?” Hearing his name, the huge dog got up and walked over to Sarah.

Cooper nodded. “He said he’d prefer to live here, with me.”

“Did he now?” she asked with a laugh, giving Ham a gentle pat. “Get your own dog.”

“There isn’t room for another dog around here. Come here,” Cooper said, pulling her onto his lap.

She went to him, sat down, picked up his coffee and helped herself to a sip.

“Want me to make you a hot cup?” he asked. “You cold?”

She shook her head. “It’s nice out there. Breeze gets a little chilly sometimes, but the sun is so wonderful. You start to crave sun around here after all the winter rains and winds.”

Her cell phone rang. She’d left it on the deck with Cooper when she took her board out. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID then said, “Yes, little brother?” She listened intently and then laughed. “I’m at Cooper’s. I just took my board out—the bay is beautiful. I have the Razor and the dog. Then yes, have fun and I’ll see you later.”

She clicked off.

“How many times a day do you talk to Landon?” Cooper asked. Sarah and sixteen-year-old Landon were a family of two and they kept pretty tight tabs on each other. And with Sarah being a Coast Guard search-and-rescue pilot who worked out of the North Bend station, sometimes it wasn’t easy.

“As many as it takes. Now that he’s dating Deputy Yummy Pants’s daughter, I don’t worry so much. Well, I worry that Mac might shoot him if he gets too frisky with Eve, but I figure that’s a long shot, forgive the pun. I think we check in three or four times a day.”

“At least,” Cooper said. “Did I interpret that last call to mean you’re now free for dinner?”

She grinned at him. “Is the chef preparing something special?”

“It won’t be busy here tonight, at least after seven—it’s a weeknight and by then the sunset will be over. I have some steaks in the freezer, potatoes in the cooler....”

“Do you have anything green?” she asked.

Cooper’s bar menu was based on deli items purchased from Carrie’s deli in town—simple things from pizzas to sandwiches as well as some desserts, things that could be served cold or warmed. His place was not a restaurant per se. Cooper bought himself a grill for his own use, but it was never used to prepare food for the patrons.

Cooper had also inherited a helper, Rawley Goode, a Vietnam vet who was not overly comfortable dealing with the public. While he was a good cook, he was needed for other things—maintenance, cleaning, running errands to the big box stores like Costco. Cooper had to admit that between Rawley and himself personal groceries were often in short supply.

“I bet you have something green,” he suggested.

“I live on green things,” she said.

“I know this.”

“And you eat like a fourteen-year-old boy. You’d live on steak, hamburgers and home fries if it weren’t for me. If I go home to shower and change and bring a salad or a vegetable back with me, will you clean your plate?”

He loved her. He was frequently shaken by the intensity of his passion for her. He’d clean his plate and then he’d tune her up for good measure. He knew his eyes glowed and knew she interpreted him correctly. When the closed sign was on the front door and the doors were locked, they’d eat steak in front of the fire and then retire to the playpen, his large bed upstairs. “Take my truck and leave the Razor.”

“I have to work in the morning.”

“That’s okay. You can take my truck and your dog home later. Much later. Then I’ll drive your Razor across the beach and trade vehicles tomorrow morning.”

* * *

That night Sarah was home in bed before eleven. Not only did she have an early start the next day, but she also wanted to be home because of her brother, Landon. Landon wouldn’t be either shocked or disapproving about the fact she and Cooper were sleeping together—in fact, he had met Cooper first and they were pals. If Sarah wasn’t mistaken, Landon would consider it a personal favor if Sarah and Cooper somehow made a lasting commitment. That might be a possibility in the future but there were complications, not the least of which was Sarah’s recent brief, disastrous marriage. She was understandably gun-shy and she had Landon to think about. He was just finishing up his junior year in high school and was headed for a fantastic senior year—his athletic prowess and academic performance would undoubtedly land him a scholarship. And they needed that scholarship. Sarah did all right financially but sending someone to college for four years would be a big challenge.

* * *

The next morning Sarah was finished in the bathroom and on her way out the door before Landon had even stirred for school. She left him a note and twenty dollars for gas or lunch or incidentals. She headed off to work feeling fit and fresh after her day off on the bay yesterday. A nice dinner with Cooper, followed by a couple of hours of recreation under the sheets—something Cooper had a particular talent for—helped make her feel brand-new and full of energy.

The Coast Guard station was getting ready for a big inspection in the next couple of weeks and there was plenty to do, from preparing for check rides to auditing maintenance records. They’d have to show the command they were one of the best air stations in the Coast Guard, and they’d have to get ready for this inspection while continuing to perform business as usual. Given that Sarah—Lieutenant Commander Dupre—was second in command of the flying operation at the station, her role in this prep would not be small. It was no surprise that when she turned on her computer she found a note from her immediate boss, Buzz Bachman, asking her to come to his office ASAP. She was sure, if she knew the man at all, he had a long list of things for her to do.

She made herself a cup of coffee on the way, stirring in some cream and sweetener. “Morning, boss,” she said, entering his small office.

“Morning, Dupre. Shut the door, okay?”

She turned to close the door and thought, Uh-oh, someone’s in trouble. The commander’s door was seldom closed and when it was someone would generally say, “The spanking light has been lit.”

“We have a busy week and an inspection team en route the end of the month.”

“We’ll be ready,” she said, sipping her coffee.

“I want to tell you something I’m not supposed to know,” Buzz said. “How’s your poker face?”

She lifted an eyebrow. “When has my poker face ever let you down?”

“This could be tough. It affects you directly.”

The eyebrow dropped. “Make it fast,” she said. “Rip that Band-Aid off.”

He took a breath. “I have a mole in HR,” Buzz said. “I’ve been cultivating him for a long time. I want as much warning as possible for my next change of assignment. What I didn’t expect was to learn that one of my ‘men’ was being looked at for a reassignment. An early reassignment because of compelling need. This means you, Dupre.”

Sarah was stunned into silence. Her mouth hung open slightly. She forcibly closed her mouth. “I get an automatic refusal if they don’t know I’m a woman. Right?”

“I wish. I shouldn’t say anything. It could all go in another direction. Between now and notification, someone could put in for those air stations and this could all go away. But I wanted you to have as much time to think about this as possible—we have two retiring commanders and a compelling need with no outstanding applications for those locations and they’re both...” He paused to cough lightly. “They’re both on the east coast. Maine and south Florida. As you might surmise, you’re probably going to be awarded a promotion to commander within the year. I suspect this makes you a better than prime candidate.”

“And I’m not due for either,” she said, sliding forward on her chair a little bit.

“There’s no surprise here, Dupre. You’re good at your job. You’ve had a successful Coast Guard career. You’d make an excellent boss. You’re an excellent leader now.”

She looked at him earnestly, humbly. “I need another year here. Landon...”

“I know your situation and I sympathize. That’s why I’m breaking protocol and leaking this. So help me, you let on and we’ll have a real issue....”

“Crap, there’s gotta be some wiggle room in here....”

“I just gave it to you. I think you’ll be notified by June and then you will have a couple of months to make the move.”

She shook her head. “This plays hell on my family...Landon is prime scholarship material, but not if I move him. That’s saying nothing of the trauma of moving a kid right before his senior year in high school, moving him away from his football team, his friends, his school, his town. He’s done so well here, you have no idea.”

“I have every idea,” Buzz said. “I know exactly how you feel—I’ve gone through two divorces, proof of how the pressures weigh down the family. At least you’re not married.”

But there’s someone I can’t bear the thought of leaving, she thought. “Damn it, I love my job. But I don’t love this part of it.”

“And the Coast Guard loves you, Dupre. I thought you deserved time to think of your options. Aren’t you from Florida?”

“Long ago and far away. I grew up in Boca, practically on the water, but I’ve been north for most of my Coast Guard career. And there’s no family left in Florida—it’s just me and Landon. And I only have one more year with him before he goes off to college, and starts a new phase of his life.”

“You always have that option we’re not talking about, even if you can’t retire yet.”

“Resign my commission? I have no idea what I’d do outside of the Coast Guard,” she muttered, looking into her coffee cup.

“And I know that feeling, too,” he said.

She looked up and made eye contact with him. She gave a half smile—small wonder he’d been married twice, he was a good-looking man. Blond, expressive brown eyebrows, strong, smart and a set of choppers that would put Donny Osmond to shame. All this had earned him the nickname Buzz Lightyear. “Why do you have a mole in HR?” she asked.

“I can retire,” he said. “I want plenty of notice on the next assignment, which should be coming down the pipeline in about six months. I don’t want a new location or a promotion. I’d like to fly forever, I love helicopters and I love the C-130 even more. Being a captain means more desk time than flying time and I have kids in California and Alaska. I’m moving on, Dupre. In probably a year.”

“But what are you going to do?”

“I’m working on that. But I’ve been down this road and I have done twenty years of service. My decision is made. You’re the one who has decisions to make. Maybe there’s some family friends around who can keep Landon in this school for one more year?”

She shook her head. “There’s no one.”

“Good friends?”

The only ones who came to mind were Gina and Cooper. Her friend Gina was trying to develop a new life with Mac—aka Deputy Yummy Pants—and she had a small house crowded with her mother and her sixteen-year-old daughter. And Cooper? Oh, as great a pal as he was for Landon, he wasn’t in the market for instant guardianship. She couldn’t ask either of them for a favor this big. “The Coast Guard has always been inconvenient,” she heard herself say. “Not a lot of stability. But the job itself made up for that most of the time.”

“Where does Landon stay when you sit alert overnight?”

“He’s pretty much okay on his own, as long as he has his phone and my contact numbers. If I have a temporary assignment out of town, like simulator training or something, there’s this guy I’ve been seeing...local guy, civilian. He doesn’t mind Landon duty for a few days or a week, but trust me...”

“Guy?” Buzz said. “Guy? Why don’t I know about this guy?”

Sarah smiled in spite of herself.

“How long has this been going on?” Buzz asked.

She gave a shrug. “Six months or so.”

“You never bring him around. You protecting us from him or something?”

“I could be protecting him from you....”

“Hmm. Well bring him around sometime. Happy hour or something.

“I just wanted you to have a heads-up on the assignments,” he said. “With any luck someone could request a relocation in the next couple of months—maybe just the right person will come along and take these potential east coast assignments off your hands....”

“Two of them?” she asked cynically.

“There are people who would kill for a chance like you have,” he said.

“I know,” she said. She could go far in the Coast Guard; Commander was a prestigious rank in a demanding service and she’d earned it. She was only thirty-three. “I could quit, but I can’t retire....” Quit and do what? There was the little matter of paying rent, buying food, making car and insurance payments...tuition. She stood up. “Well, thanks, boss. I guess.”

“Don’t panic,” Buzz said. “Yet.”

* * *

Sarah wasn’t one to panic, unless her career was about to turn everyone she loved upside down once again. She could tell Landon, give him time to adjust to the possibility and come up with his own coping options, but she wouldn’t do that—not yet, anyway. She wasn’t afraid he’d balk and sulk, she was afraid he’d say, “Whatever, Sarah. Just let me know.” He was that kind of kid, that kind of brother. He wasn’t a typical sixteen-year-old boy, probably because of how challenging his life had been. She often worried about how much disappointment he was holding inside to spare her feelings.

Landon was only five when their parents were killed in an accident and he spent one horrifying year with their mean spinster aunt and then had spent the past ten years as her responsibility. She’d moved him five times, put him through a divorce from a man he’d grown attached to and now, just when he was happiest... No, she couldn’t talk to him yet, not until she had time to think things through.

She could tell Cooper. He loved her; he was proud of her. But he’d just put all his time and energy into setting up his new local business and she couldn’t put him in the position of choosing between breaking it off with her or leaving behind everything to follow her. She could tell that his new lifestyle not only suited him, but he was also very happy. Relaxed.

* * *

That afternoon she hadn’t even made it home after work before Landon called her cell. “You going out to Cooper’s tonight?”

“Not tonight,” she said. “I have things to prepare for for our inspection.”

“If Eve comes over to do homework tonight, will it bother you?” he asked.

“Nope. I’ll take my paperwork to my bedroom. What are you cooking?” she asked.

He laughed at the joke. “Want me to pick up a pizza? I still have that twenty you left me.”

“I’ll make sloppy joes. Save the pizza money—I sit alert tomorrow night and you’re on your own. And before you even ask, no, Eve cannot spend the night.”

“Damn,” he said, making her laugh.

She made the same excuse to Cooper, though he didn’t buy it as quickly. “Can’t you do your paperwork tomorrow night while you sit alert?”

“I have enough work for both nights. We’re gearing up for a big inspection. I’ll see you in a couple of days. I mean, we’ll talk, but—”

But I have to work on my poker face.

“—I have the day off after my twenty-four at the station and I’ll come out to your place. If the sun’s shining, maybe I’ll take out my board.”

“I love to watch you on the water,” he said. “The ocean is more beautiful when you’re out there.”

* * *

Sarah hadn’t seen Cooper in a couple of days and she could’ve taken the Razor—the all-terrain vehicle—across the beach with Hamlet, but they both needed some exercise. She’d just had two long nights and now she was stiff and groggy and Hamlet was restless.

Rather than getting right to their walk across the beach to Cooper’s, Sarah stopped at the diner to say hello to Gina. Hamlet enjoyed that part of his walk almost as much as being on the beach. He didn’t mind being hitched to the lamppost with a bowl of water and treated to pats and pets from every passerby.

Mac McCain was sitting at the counter in the diner. Gina was on the other side and they were holding hands across the counter. Sarah realized she’d been so self-involved she hadn’t even remembered that almost every midmorning around this time the diner was usually empty and Mac took his coffee break with Gina. They were so focused on each other, Sarah was impressed that they looked up and smiled at her. “Hey,” she said.

“Hey, yourself. I hear you’ve been putting in a lot of hours,” Gina said.

“A lot of hours, but I’m off today.”

Gina and Mac might be the cutest couple in Thunder Point. They’d been best friends for years. Both single parents, their sixteen-year-old daughters were also best friends. Just a couple of months ago, they came out as a couple. A real couple, not just a couple of good friends, and ever since that had happened, they’d been staring soulfully into each other’s eyes when they weren’t stealing the occasional kiss. For a brief moment Sarah turned cynical and almost said, “Look out—when you think you’re staring happily ever after in the face is when the fates get jealous and pounce.”

“On your way to Cooper’s?” Mac asked.

“Yep. I think I’m going to take my board out for a while. There’s sun today and I could use some exercise.” And alone time, think time. Not that she hadn’t had enough of that over the past day or two. “And Cooper always needs quality time with Ham.” She laughed. “If we ever break up, I’ll have to share custody.”

“You’ll never break up,” Gina said. “You’re down for the count.”

No, she thought. Just down...

Two

Mac and Gina might be enjoying new love, but that didn’t keep them from spending plenty of time talking about their families. While Gina only had one child, sixteen-year-old Ashley, Mac had three kids. His oldest, Eve, also sixteen, his son, Ryan, was twelve and another daughter, Dee Dee, was ten. Recently, their sixteen-year-old daughters seemed to take up most of their conversations about kids—Eve was a little too in love with Landon, sometimes worrying Mac, and while Ash had had a steady boyfriend for the past year, she had seemed a little out of sorts lately. Ashley was sulky and down in the dumps.

“Things haven’t been what you’d call hearts and flowers between Ashley and Downy lately,” Gina said, wiping down the counter. “All Ashley will say about it is that Downy seems to be too busy to take her calls or return them, something that hasn’t happened before now.”

“And I’ve got nothing but hearts and flowers between Eve and Landon,” Mac said. “Doesn’t help me sleep at night, either.”

Since teenage girls can fluctuate between true love and moodiness with regularity, Gina didn’t worry overmuch about Ashley’s sulk.

* * *

After work, Gina walked home to find a message from the high school on her answering machine. The school had resorted to leaving recorded messages that informed parents if their child had been absent. Ashley had missed her last two classes. Since she’d borrowed Gina’s Jeep for cheerleading practice after school, Gina wondered what was going on. She immediately called her daughter, but Ashley didn’t answer her cell phone. Gina then called Eve, who answered right away. “She skipped practice,” Eve said. “I don’t know why—she didn’t say anything to me.”

“Do you have any idea where she could be? She’s not answering her phone.”

“I have no idea,” Eve said. “If she calls or shows up, I’ll be sure she calls you.”

Gina’s mom, Carrie, had just returned home herself, and hearing Gina’s story she said, “You know how these girls can get distracted. You left her a message, right?”

Of course she had. And Gina was not typically a worrier, but Ashley had been in a real funk for the past week, complaining that Downy was acting weird, as if he couldn’t be bothered with her. After a year-long, intense romance, one in which the phone calls and texting seemed annoyingly constant, even Gina wondered what was up. But Downy was a college freshman now and baseball was in full swing. He was attending Oregon State on an athletic scholarship; he was a baseball star. Maybe he just had a lot going on.

A couple of hours later, just as the sun was going down, Gina called Downy’s cell phone. He didn’t answer, either, and she left yet another message. “Downy, it’s Gina. I don’t know where Ashley is and I’m really worried. Have you heard from her? Call me please.”

A half hour later Carrie said, “You’re pacing, Gina. Call Mac. Maybe he’ll have some advice.”

Gina sat at the kitchen table and punched in his numbers. “Mac, I have a problem. As far as I know, no one has seen or heard from Ashley since about one o’clock this afternoon. She skipped her last two classes, didn’t go to cheer practice, isn’t taking or returning calls. Eve hasn’t seen or heard from her and Downy isn’t picking up.” She felt her voice go all warbly. “I’m worried. I don’t know what to do. I’d go look for her, but I don’t know where to look. Could Downy be playing ball? Maybe that’s why he isn’t picking up?”

“Stand by, let me check,” Mac said. A moment later he said, “No game today. The next game is in three days and it’s a home game.”

“My God, where could she be?”

“Leave another message for Downy. Maybe call some of her other girlfriends?” Mac suggested.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can find out.” Gina disconnected and placed another call to Downy. This time she used her mother voice. “Crawford Downy, I can’t find my daughter. If I don’t hear from you in five minutes, I’m going to call the police.” Then she clicked off.

“You did call the police,” her mother said, placing a glass of wine in front of Gina. “Calm down. What are you so afraid of?”

She looked at Carrie imploringly. “That she’s in some kind of trouble. That she’s missing. That she ran off with Downy or something...I don’t know. This really isn’t like...” Her phone twittered. “Downy,” she said to her mother. She picked up the call immediately. “Where’s Ashley!” she demanded.

“Easy, Gina,” Downy said smoothly. He’d grown up in Thunder Point, just like Ashley had. He’d known Gina and her mother since he was a little kid. “She’s on her way home. She’s fine.”

“On her way home from where?” she demanded.

“She came here, to State, to Corvallis.” He took a breath. “She wanted to talk about our...ah...situation. I was going to talk to her in person after our weekend game—I was coming home mostly to talk to Ash. But she couldn’t wait and drove up here.”

Gina sank weakly onto a kitchen chair.

“She’ll be home in a couple of hours or less,” he said.

“She drove all the way to Corvallis to ask you why you don’t pick up or return her calls and you say she’s fine? Downy, what the hell is going on?”

“Can you just ask Ash about that, okay? Because it’s—”

“Is my daughter pregnant?”

She felt rather than saw her mother sit straighter, even more alert. Gina had been an unmarried teenage mother.

“No! God, no!” Downy nearly yelled into the phone. “Listen, really, if you’d just talk to Ashley about this when she gets home...”

“Tell me right this second, Crawford Downy! My daughter has been upset about your relationship and she lied to me to take my car, drove three hours to Corvallis to talk to you and she’s just now on her way home? Tell me right now or I’ll call your mother!”

The young man took a deep breath. “I don’t want to tell you this, Gina. It’s really between us, but...I felt like we might be getting too serious. I thought we should take a breather, maybe date around a little, you know.”

Gina felt her stomach tie itself in a tight knot. Oh, God, her poor girl. No one could know better than Gina how something like that felt.

“Let me guess, there’s someone at State you’ve started dating a little?” she asked acidly.

“Come on, hey. I’m all the way up here, only see Ash a couple of weekends a month at the most. It got kind of old, sitting around my room alone twenty-six days of the month. She should be getting out more, too. It’s not that big a deal. We just need to lighten up a little, y’know?”

“Why didn’t you tell her this before she drove all the way to Corvallis to find out what’s going on?”

“I didn’t want to say it over the phone! I wanted to be decent about it!”

And he hung up on her.

It was just as well. She was going to have to kill him, anyway. Downy was eighteen. His behavior was hardly odd for a boy his age. Still...

Gina looked at her mother. “I would not have let her drive all the way to Corvallis alone. Driving home alone. At night.”

“I know. But she’ll be okay,” Carrie said. “She’s a bright girl. There’s no rain tonight. She knows the way as well as you do.”

“God, I hope she’s okay,” Gina said.

There was a knock at the door. “Mac!”

Carrie got up from the table and let him in. “Hey, Mac,” she said.

“Hey, Carrie. What do we know?”

Carrie just inclined her head toward Gina.

“She drove to Corvallis to talk to Downy, who, I gather, dumped her and sent her back home.”

Mac lowered his gaze and shook his head.

“She’ll be home in a couple of hours,” Gina said. “But what if she’s so upset she’s not safe and something happens?”

Mac walked into the kitchen, slipped a strong arm around Gina’s waist and pulled her against him just briefly. He put a finger under her chin and looked into her eyes. “Never a good idea to drive when upset, but try to be realistic—if teenagers who just had a breakup had accidents, the accident rate would be too shocking to imagine. The road is good, the weather is good, she’ll get here. And she’ll need some comforting, I imagine.” He lifted one of her hands, which was trembling. “I think the wine is a good idea. Just calm down and be ready to be wise and understanding.”

“What if I have to go get her or something?”

“I’ll do it. Or Carrie will. Gina, honey, stuff like this happens. It’s not deadly.”

“It sure feels that way,” she said in a small voice.

* * *

Gina and her mom sat at the kitchen table together talking quietly, waiting for Ashley to arrive, while Gina sipped on a glass of wine. They were two women who knew how deeply a girl of sixteen would feel the trauma of a breakup. Leaving the two of them to talk, Mac stepped away, into the living room, where he used his phone.

When Ashley started dating Downy, Gina was brutally honest with her about the possible consequences of too much love too fast. She tried to discourage the dating, but there was little she could do—they saw each other at school every day and it was a match made in heaven. Gina had worried about what would happen when Downy moved on to college, leaving Ashley—who was two years younger—behind. But they had managed to make it work. Downy was back in Thunder Point most weekends, especially during football season and for holidays, and they talked and texted every day, many times a day.

And then, in the peak of spring, with love all around, suddenly and without warning, Ashley said, “Something is wrong. Downy sends me right to voice mail and he doesn’t call me back. Mom, something is wrong.”

Gina had said, “He’s probably overwhelmed. He’s got baseball and, academically, he sometimes struggles. Try to be patient.” Downy was a jock, but not a strong student, which presented problems for some college athletes.

“It never happened like this before,” Ashley wailed. “He’s said about ten words to me in a week. He’s busy, he says. He’s studying, he says. He doesn’t call me back because he doesn’t have time. He doesn’t answer my texts. He always texted more than me—right during class. I think he might be with someone new.”

“Did you ask him?”

“Of course! He said no! But he’s lying. I can tell he’s lying. And he’s never lied to me before!”

“Ash, he’s only eighteen. You’re only sixteen. Let’s try not to go crazy here. Maybe this is a little adjustment of some—”

“He said he loved me! What am I going to do?”

The poor darling, Gina thought. Shattered and helpless. She took another sip of wine. Glancing at her glass she said to her mom, “Good suggestion.”

“It’s always more dramatic when it’s your daughter. It cuts deeper,” Carrie said.

“I don’t want her to ever hurt.” Gina whispered.

“I know,” Carrie said. “Believe me, I know.”

Gina hadn’t taken Ashley’s pout over Downy too seriously. After all, he was the scholarship kid with the atomic arm, gone to State to play ball and it was spring—baseball was the game of the day and Downy, a freshman, was starting pitcher. He was busy with practices and games, maybe too busy now to text and call Ashley all day. But Gina’s attention was definitely snagged by Ashley’s flight to Corvallis and Downy’s explanation that, stated simply, he was done with her. There was not a woman on the planet who didn’t know how much getting dumped could hurt. And as for mothers? It hurt more when your little girl suffered than when you suffered yourself.

Mac came into the kitchen, poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down with Gina and Carrie. “I called my aunt Lou and told her what was going on and that I’d be staying with you until we knew a little more. Lou will manage the family while I’m here. And I talked to Eve. She knew Ashley was all sideways about Downy and she was worried about her, but she didn’t know she’d driven to Corvallis. I find that strange—they usually know everything the other is doing. Eve thought Ashley just skipped out on practice. So I’ll stay with you until she’s home.”

“You need to get home to your own family, Mac,” Gina said, but inside she thought if he left her now, she’d collapse. “It’s just a broken heart.”

“There’s no such thing as just a broken heart,” he said.

And he should know, Gina thought. His young wife left him with three little kids when he was twenty-six years old and even though Gina hadn’t known him then, she knew him now and knew he hadn’t been with a woman in the ten years since. Until Gina. They were two single parents who had waited a long time to find each other.

Mac muttered something about how, given a choice, he would never want to go back to those youthful days—those young years are so serious and painful. Gina said even more painful was when your kids hurt.

“I’ll never forget when Ash wasn’t invited to the very first boy-girl party ever because the mother of the little girl throwing the party didn’t approve of me, a never-married single mother. Ash didn’t understand that, but she was devastated by being excluded and I had at least six months of guilt and pain.”

“When Eve was six,” Mac said, “after Cee Jay left us, she didn’t want to go to school. She was afraid her mother might come home during the day and Eve didn’t want to miss her.”

“When I was a young mother,” Gina said, “there were very few other young mothers with small children who were friendly toward me. Certainly none who were sixteen...”

“Small towns are brutal,” Mac said. “The best thing about Thunder Point was leaving Coquille, where I made all my mistakes. Of course, they followed me—my kids were soon known as the kids of the deputy and the woman who abandoned them.”

“Is there any way to keep them from paying for our mistakes?”

“Yeah. They’ll eventually make enough of their own to take the heat off. Meanwhile, we just have to stay strong and know we are doing the best we can.”

Carrie got up from the table and started rummaging around in the refrigerator. Being the owner of a deli and catering service, she always had special meals on hand. She did a little slicing and scooping, microwaved a couple of plates—tri-tip, red potatoes, Broccolini spears, a little dark au jus. She made a large helping for Mac, smaller ones for Gina and herself and the three of them ate, though not with big appetites. Everyone at the small kitchen table had personal experience with this kind of heartache. Then Carrie cleaned up and put a pan of her healing chicken soup on the stove. “She might not want anything to eat, but if she does at least it’ll be something soothing,” Carrie said.

It was eight-thirty when they heard the car. Everyone stood expectantly, fearful of what they would see walking in the door. And then Ashley came into the kitchen through the back door.

She was messy; there was evidence of crying in her puffy eyes and pink cheeks. Her beautiful red hair was flat and slack and her clothes wrinkled, but otherwise she looked normal. Except for the expression on her face, which was one of pure agony.

“I had to do it, I had to go to State,” she said. “I sent him two hundred texts and voice mails that he ignored, so I went to face him. I’m sorry I lied and took your Jeep. I promise, I’ll never do it again.”

Carrie took a step toward her. “I made you some soup, honey.”

“Thanks, Gram, but I don’t want any....”

“I’ll be going. Now that you’re home safe,” Mac said.

“You don’t have to go, Mac,” Ashley said. “I’m going to bed.”

“We need to talk, Ashley,” Gina said.

“There’s nothing to say,” she said, walking through the house toward her room, her head down, dragging her backpack behind her.

“Ashley,” Gina said, following her. “Ash, I really want to talk to you. Please.”

She turned sharply to face Gina. “He doesn’t want me anymore,” she said coldly, tears gathering in her eyes. “I gave him everything he wanted and now he’s done with me. The guy I saw today? I don’t even know that guy. That was not my Downy.” Then she went into her room and closed the door.

Gina turned back to face Mac and her mother. “Oh, God,” she said. And then the only thing she could think of. “Thank God there were no cell phones when my heart was being ripped out.”

* * *

Ashley laid down on her bed in her clothes. In fact, she laid there for a while before sitting up and throwing off her jacket.

She was probably about six years old when she first noticed Crawford Downy Junior. Everyone had always called him Downy; only his mother called him Crawford. Ashley went to school with his younger brother Frank. There was a third brother two years younger than Frank—Lee.

That was back when Ashley’s mother or grandmother wrestled her naturally curly red hair into braids in the morning. Downy called her twerp or carrot top or pesky pants. She alternately crushed on him or thought he was a giant turd. She liked him when he said things like, “Good catch, CT,” instead of carrot top. She hated him when he said, “Stand back, she’s going to let down her hair!” and put out his arms as if her curly mane would be bigger than the Goodyear Blimp. Right up to junior high she had those ridiculous red ringlets and thick glasses. Frank had thick glasses, too, so Downy never teased her about the glasses. Then when she’d barely figured out how to control her wild hair, she had braces. “When you getting the tin out of your mouth, CT?” he’d ask her.

Ashley and Eve McCain met in seventh grade and spent the next two years studying teen magazines for trending clothes, makeup and hairstyles. Eve was always naturally beautiful with thick dark hair, bright blue eyes, but she also had braces. It was one of the first things that had bonded them. That and the fact that they had single parents and neither had much money to spend on clothes—so they improvised and shared.

Sometime in ninth grade, Ashley made peace with her hair. She discovered the magic of detangler, the circular brush, a blow dryer. Her thick crazy hair became soft waves. Some of the orange of her youth was replaced by a darker, copper-red. The braces came off, she got contacts and she made the junior varsity cheerleading squad. And one day in the spring of her sophomore year, when she was wearing her short, pleated cheerleader skirt, Downy said, “Hey, Ashley.” He actually used her name!

And she said, “Hey, Downy.”

He was a senior then and the toast of Thunder Point athletics. He played football, hockey and baseball. Frank was more academic and Lee was still too young to be taken seriously.

And Downy said to her, “We should go out sometime.”

“Out?” she asked.

He laughed and said, “You know. On a date.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?” he repeated. “Is that a yes or a no?”

She nearly died. But before she died she said yes. But she was fifteen and Gina would only let her go if they double-dated. He took her to a movie in Bandon along with two other couples. But the other couples went in one car and she was alone with Downy so all the way there they talked and laughed. After the movie they went to a pizza place. She was the only sophomore—the rest of them were all seniors. After pizza they went to a pretty secluded outlook facing the ocean and made out. Downy kept trying to get under her shirt and she kept slapping his hand away. At some point he said, “I knew I shouldn’t be messing with a fifteen-year-old. You’re just too young.”

She said, “Fine. We won’t go out again. But don’t think you’re all that and I’m going to just give it up because you’re good at sports and kinda cute.”

He grinned and said, “You think I’m cute?”

“Not that cute,” she said.

But he walked her to every class, held her hand, leaned into her at her locker to kiss her, asked her repeatedly if she’d be at his game. They talked on the phone every night when they weren’t together, texted all day until Downy had his phone confiscated by a teacher for two weeks. Then, at assembly, his full ride scholarship to State was announced. At the end of summer, he’d be gone to football camp and then to school, three hours away. “I suppose you’ll just break up with me now,” she said.

With a look of serious misery he said, “I’m trying to figure out how to take you with me. I think I love you.”

So she let him touch her breasts. And said, “I think I love you, too.”

Before summer was very old, Ashley was on the pill. Surprisingly, college had not seemed to be the barrier Ashley had feared. They talked and texted constantly, Downy came home to Thunder Point as often as possible if he didn’t have a football game or practice and since he was a freshman, he wasn’t first string, so he had a little freedom, though he practiced hard all week. “And by the time I’m playing a lot, you’ll be at State and we’ll be together,” he told her.

And then in one week in March, almost exactly a year since they started dating, it all fell apart without warning. The calls dwindled to nothing; the texts weren’t answered. He didn’t come home on the weekend and knowing—knowing—something was terribly wrong, she drove to Corvallis. She went to his frat house. He was sitting on the porch with a girl, his arm around her shoulders, leaning close to her like he was finished kissing her or just about to start.

“Downy!” she shouted.

“Ash!” he shouted back, backing off the girl like she was on fire.

“Who is that?” the girl with him asked.

He stumbled and blubbered for a moment before he said, “The girl I dated back home.”

“Well, take care of the child and call me later,” she said, getting up and walking away. Gliding away, full of confidence, not the least bit intimidated by Ashley.

To Ashley, the girl looked like a sophisticated runway model, full of poise and beauty and maturity, all the things she didn’t feel she had.

The next two hours were a blur. He wouldn’t talk to her at his frat house within hearing of his fraternity brothers. They went to Gina’s Jeep, sat in it and Ashley sobbed and fought and yelled while Downy just shrugged and shook his head. He said he worried they’d been getting too serious, needed a little space, a little freedom, a little dating experience. “Have you slept with her?” Ashley demanded. “Are you doing her, Downy?”

“It’s different in college, Ash. People don’t make such a big deal about sex in college.”

So of course he had.

He finally insisted she go home. She wasn’t done with him but he was clearly done with her. “I care about you, Ash,” he said. “But we need to cool things down a little right now. I can’t get home every weekend during baseball—I’m playing every game. It’s not like football where I’m the junior player and mostly warm the bench. I’m starting. In fact, the baseball coach will probably make me quit football—we can’t start the season with injuries. We should use this time to...you know...branch out. Date around, maybe.”

“And summer? What about summer?” she asked. “You just plan to get back together again in summer?”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking about staying up here. Taking some classes, getting a job...I’ll play ball all summer if we make finals and it’s too far to commute. Then football camp is in August. If I’m still playing football then.”

She sobbed so hard all the way back to Thunder Point she could hardly breathe. She had to pull over once because her chest started hurting. She knew her mother was going to be furious that she’d taken the Jeep but she didn’t care. There were moments on the drive home that she wondered if life wouldn’t be easier if she just went off the road at one of the high-cliff curves, but something kept her going.

When she was alone in her room, she called Eve’s cell phone. She could barely tell her story, the sobs came so hard. And Eve was outraged. “Want me to call him, Ash? Give him a piece of my mind?”

“It won’t matter—it wouldn’t help. He dumped me for a college girl. And she’s beautiful, Eve. She owns him. You could tell in one second!”

“He’s slime. He’s scum. I will never forgive him for this!”

“But...what do I do without him?” Ashley had cried.

After they hung up, Ashley just cried for another hour. There was a light knocking on her door and she knew it was her mother. She didn’t answer or say “come in.” She laid there, her head on her pillow, leaking tears, gripping her cell phone in case Downy called her to say he’d made a terrible mistake.

Gina came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “I brought you some tea,” she said, her hand on Ashley’s back.

“No, thank you,” Ashley said thickly.

“Ash, I’m sorry this happened.”

“Really, I can’t talk about it anymore.”

“Just a little, please? So I can understand where you are right now? Emotionally.”

Ash rolled onto her back, her wet eyes red and swollen. “He has another girl. A beautiful, snotty college girl who he’s screwing because he says it’s not that big a deal. And right now I just don’t want to even live.”

“Ashley, please, don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”

“I’m not going to school tomorrow. Maybe not the next day, either. Maybe never.”

Three

Cooper noticed Sarah had been preoccupied over the past couple of days. Quiet and maybe a bit sullen. She said the inspection was going to be hell and while she might not be worried about her team, a strong leader always worried about the inspectors. They had to be ready for anything.

All Cooper could do was be available, support her in any way he could. He found himself fighting the worry that Sarah had changed her mind, that something had caused her to reconsider those three little words. I love you. Yet when he possessed her, when she was joined to him, her passion for him drove worry from his mind. During those times she was one hundred percent his and he was completely hers.

In the meantime, he had a business to learn. This beach bar was unlike anything he had ever done before. Ben’s old helper, Rawley Goode, old being the operative word, might be a little on the strange side, but he had turned out to be a damned good assistant. Rawley was somewhere in his sixties and he’d been ridden hard. Rawley told Cooper that Ben used to only be open in the mornings and evenings. Ben had put in his longest days during summer, and he bumped up the schedule with the help of part-time teenage help. Rawley said, “I clean and get supplies. I can work in the kitchen or behind the bar, but I ain’t social. You give me a list and cash. I go to Costco and other stores. But in summer, you have to stay open late. The sunset over the bay is better ’n football on HD.”

During his first week of operation Cooper noticed that the bulk of his traffic was between seven and ten in the morning and four and seven in the afternoon. There were stragglers here and there at other times. Those patrons were almost exclusively Thunder Point residents. But on the weekends, particularly in good weather, there was heavy traffic all day and into the evening—bikers, cyclists, pleasure boaters, sport fishermen, folks traveling on Highway 101 in want of a meal. He did an impressive business on bottled water alone, not to mention the other things he was able to offer. When he inherited this place, it had been a run-down shack with a homemade sign on the road that said Cheap Drinks. Now it was upgraded and classy and he was damn proud of it. Cooper put a decent sign on his property at the turnoff from highway 101. Ben & Cooper’s. And beneath that, Food and Drink. He stocked liquor and non-alcoholic beverages and had a contract with Carrie James, owner of the town’s deli, for prepared and wrapped food items. The reopening of the bar benefited both of them.

A lot of his first patrons from out of town wanted to know what had happened to Ben. Well, it was a sad story and he didn’t like to dwell on it, but the fact was that Ben had been found at the bottom of the cellar stairs and at first it was thought to be an accident. But, since then, there had been evidence to suggest he’d been killed by a blow to the head that caused the fall. The suspect—a seventeen-year-old kid from town—was out on bail awaiting trial. That still blew Cooper’s mind—a seventeen-year-old kid. The kid, Jag Morrison, had been trying to convince Ben to sell the beach and adjacent property to his father, a local developer.

Cooper had been just going through the motions—renovating and opening for business. He didn’t think he was a shopkeeper or bar-owner kind of guy. He had been a pilot for fifteen years—helicopters. But the more he got to know the town, the people and the many moods of the Pacific Ocean, the more the place grew on him. After just a short period of time instead of moving on, he was considering making even more improvements to the property. After watching Sarah on the water, he thought renting kayaks and paddleboards would be an excellent idea.

None of it came naturally, however. Cooper bought himself a new laptop with a decent accounting spreadsheet program and was still figuring it out. Rawley wasn’t able to help him out with this part of the business. It was during his weekday midmorning downtime that he sat at his own bar and was plugging numbers from bills and receipts into his spreadsheet that the door opened and Mac McCain walked in. With relief, he closed the laptop. “Hey,” he said. “Aren’t you usually at the diner about now?”

“Usually,” Mac said. “Gina’s daughter stayed home from school. She went home to check on her and I didn’t feel like having coffee with the cook. Stu just isn’t as pretty no matter which way you cut it.”

“I noticed that. How’s everything else?”

“Same,” he said. Mac went right behind the bar and helped himself to a cup of coffee. “You? Business shaping up?”

“Aw, I don’t know. I mean, business is good. There are people in here all the time. But I’m not real clear on the accounting and that sort of thing. Kind of makes me wonder how Ben managed. He was a genius with a wrench but he didn’t seem to take to paperwork and numbers.”

“Everyone wondered that same thing,” Mac said, sipping his coffee.

“It’s tedious, that’s for sure. Say, something’s been weighing on my mind a little bit. Been a long time since I had a girlfriend, you know? You ever wonder what the hell’s going on in Gina’s head?”

Mac broke into a huge grin. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“So that’s a no? Because Sarah—she’s got a lot on her mind, I know that. But man, she’s on another planet sometimes. Makes me wonder if anything is wrong. But then she’s back and I wonder why I wondered....”

“Coop, you remember how many women I live with, right? There’s Lou, Eve and Dee Dee at home, but then there’s Gina and all her women—her mother and her daughter, who at the moment is a mess over some boyfriend issue. Half the time I don’t have any idea what’s going on in any of their heads!”

“Oh,” he said. “That’s a no?”

“That’s a no.”

“How do you handle that?”

“Do you see me handling anything? I pretty much just duck.”

“Oh, you’re a big help....”

“Sorry, man. I just do as I’m told most of the time,” Mac said.

Cooper just stared at him. “Why aren’t you completely bald?”

“It’s a wonder, isn’t it? Lou says there’s something in the male hormone that prevents me from getting it. She’s probably right.”

* * *

Gina went home during the midmorning slow time at the diner to check on Ashley, as she’d done the two previous days. This was her third day of grieving and Ashley just lay in her bed, clutching her phone. Gina had tried prying it out of her fingers once but her daughter tearfully whimpered, “But what if he calls me?”

“It would probably be best if you just turned the phone off,” Gina said. “If he calls you, let him find you’re over him!”

“I’m so not over him,” she said.

“This can’t go on, Ash,” she said. “You have to get a grip. You have to get up, get cleaned up, go to school.”

“You have no idea what you’re saying,” she cried.

“Don’t I? Ashley, my boyfriend left me pregnant at fifteen. When I told him, he ran far and fast and never looked back! Ashley, I know how this hurts, believe me.”

She rolled over, her red hair everywhere, and tearfully said, “I wouldn’t mind that, you know. At least you still had a part of him to live for. What do I have?”

Gina wanted to shake her. “Your dignity! He cheated on you—you should kick him to the curb, not suffer in rejection. Get mad! I hope the sorry bastard gets a disease!”

“Mama,” she cried, fresh tears spilling all over her face. “Don’t say that, Mama. You love Downy. And my heart hurts....”

She didn’t love Downy anymore. How could he take her little girl’s innocence and then dismiss her so cruelly? Describe her as “the girl I dated back home” like she was history? He should be brutally punished. How could he?

Because he’s an eighteen-year-old boy, her wiser self said. He did what most eighteen-year-old boys do. And Ash is just a sixteen-year-old girl, doing what comes naturally—grieving her loss. It could just as easily have gone the other way—Ashley could have become bored with her absent boyfriend and found someone new at school, some current popular jock who had time to date, to take her to the dances and games. This could be Downy wallowing in depression because his girlfriend had dumped him.

Why couldn’t it be that way, huh? she asked herself. She didn’t want her daughter to be mean and insensitive, but she also didn’t want this—this sobbing, broken mess who wouldn’t get out of bed.

“I’m going back to work,” she said. “When I get home later I want you up. I want you showered, doing your best to get on with life because you can’t fix this, Ashley. I’m not going to let you shrivel up and waste away just because Downy was an unfaithful ass. Do you hear me? Tomorrow you go to school, no excuses.”

She rolled over and looked at her through wet eyes. “I loved him,” she whispered. “I loved him so much.”

“But you can’t make a person love you back,” Gina whispered.

“Are you sure? Because somehow I made him love me once.”

Gina smoothed her crazy red hair back off her brow. “I know, baby. Someday you’re going to understand that you dodged a bullet here. You don’t want a boyfriend who can’t be faithful, who can’t keep his promises. Believe me.”

Ashley just shook her head. She rolled over and, gripping her phone, as she had been for days, she gently wept.

Gina got away from the house. She walked down the hill to the diner before pulling out her own phone. She stared at it for a moment. She sat down on one of the benches outside the diner’s front door and clicked on Marjorie Downy’s number. When the woman answered she said, “Marjorie, hi. It’s Gina James.”

“Hi there, Gina.”

“I wonder if you know—Downy and Ashley broke up.”

There was a heavy sigh from Marjorie. “I did hear that. I can’t say I’m surprised. I thought that when they were apart for a while, at different schools, it might end up like this. That’s too bad for Ashley, Gina.”

“She’s devastated. She said Downy has a new girlfriend.”

Marjorie sighed again. “Well, look, Crawford is in a new place now, a different place. Their worlds...you know what I mean. Their worlds are now orbiting different suns. There’s college and there’s high school.”

“He promised to take her to her prom,” Gina said because she just couldn’t help it, though she didn’t have any intention of Marjorie helping with that problem.

“I know. I have to be honest with you, Gina—I never approved of that idea. Crawford should be spending what little money he has for dating on college events, fraternity events, not on high school dances.”

Gina stiffened. “Well, then, perhaps he shouldn’t have promised,” she said. “Poor Ashley.”

“Oh, Gina, I do feel sorry for Ashley, I do. I’m sure she’ll be all right.”

“She’s not all right at the moment. She’s shattered. Heartbroken. Downy wasn’t very nice to her.”

“Poor thing. But I worried about this from the start. Crawford is quite the catch at State—handsome, athletic, fun, smart. I knew it was only a matter of time before some pretty college girl caused him to forget the girl back home. Ashley really shouldn’t have pinned her hopes on him.”

Gina felt her heart squeeze. “Maybe not,” she said weakly. For a moment she felt as though she should have found a way to prevent this romance, a way to keep Ashley from being hurt.

“Despite what Crawford and Ashley might’ve thought, I knew this wasn’t a lasting thing. The age difference...”

“But Downy told me you knew they were sexually active. Involved. Committed.”

“I found packages of condoms. It broke my heart. I was extremely disappointed by that. In my day young ladies were much more cautious with their bodies, with their virtue.”

Gina’s eyes grew round and her neck nearly snapped from straightening so fast. She was instantly on her feet. “And in your day, were young men also cautious?”

Marjorie actually laughed. “I wish I could say they were. You’d understand if you were the mother of sons. Boys—a different animal entirely. Which is why it’s important to raise young ladies with strict standards. You know what I mean, Gina.”

She hoped she wouldn’t break a molar, clenching her teeth so hard. “I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”

“I mean that invariably it’s up to the girl.”

Gina was speechless. “You’re not serious,” she finally said.

“I couldn’t be more serious!” Marjorie insisted. “Men are men—they’re single-minded and a little crazy. But my boys were raised proper—if the girl says no, the answer is no. They’re not villains, they’re just men.”

“You really can’t believe this,” Gina said.

“Gina, perhaps Ashley thought there wouldn’t be any consequences for having sexual relations at the tender age of sixteen. And as you can see from your poor darling’s broken heart, having a baby out of wedlock isn’t the only consequence.”

Gina felt her face burn. “You didn’t just say that to me,” she said. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, Gina, please! I meant no offense, it’s just that—”

“Is that what you teach your sons, Marjorie? That if they can pressure a girl into giving it up, all’s fair? It’s not the boy’s fault or responsibility?”

“No! Oh, God, no!” Then she was quiet for a second before she muttered, “I wouldn’t teach them such a thing. I’m not surprised that they think that way, however. I live in a house full of males. For all I know, my husband could have conveyed the message.”

“If he did, he should be hung up by his balls!” Gina snapped, disconnecting the call. She sank to the bench once more. She leaned over, elbows on her knees, her head resting in her hands. She couldn’t believe comments like that could still be so painful. And she knew that wasn’t how she was commonly regarded in this town—the unwed mother. She knew she and her mother were both respected citizens here. Ashley, a lovely girl and good student, was thought of highly.

But there were still a few, like Marjorie, who put it all on the woman. As if a girl gets pregnant all alone.

For a moment, she felt hot and damp at the same time. Mortified. Humiliated, as if it had been yesterday that she’d said to Carrie, Oh, Mama, I’m pregnant! And I don’t know what to do!

“Hey,” a familiar deep male voice said.

She looked up to see Mac standing in front of her. Looking down at her.

“You okay?”

She let out a breath and stood. “I called Marjorie Downy. Stupid thing to do.”

“What happened?”

“From her perspective, Ashley held him down and forced herself on him and he is completely blameless in this situation. Kind of a boys-will-be-boys attitude. And she couldn’t convey that without a dig or two at me for bearing a child out of wedlock.”

“Did she actually say that?”

“Pretty much. In her day girls were held to a higher standard and her boys were raised to understand that if a girl says no, it’s no. And having a child out of wedlock isn’t the only consequence of being sexually involved. In other words—”

“Jesus,” he said. “She’s as stupid as she is ugly.”

That almost made Gina smile. “I should never have called her. I knew Marjorie and I weren’t on the same wavelength. I always liked Downy, even before he started dating Ash. I think he’s basically a good kid. I want to think this just went the predictable course—he grew away from her when he went to college and they broke up. And yes, it hurts her terribly, but she’ll have more than one boyfriend before all is said and done.”

“Downy’s not a bad kid. But his mother is as dumb as a box full of hammers.”

“Yeah, Downy’s all right, even if he did upset my girl. And I bet in a few weeks I’ll stop hoping he gets a disease and his dick falls off.”

Mac smiled at her. “I need to take you somewhere. Dinner, maybe. Or just out of town for a few hours. Or maybe to some sleazy motel with mirrors on the ceiling—but if you say no, hey, nothing will ever happen....”

She put a grateful hand on his arm. “I gotta get my girl out of bed first, Mac. She’s a mess. Then I’ll be ready for a dinner out of town and some time alone with you.”

“You know all you have to do is snap your fingers.”

* * *

Lou McCain had raised her nephew since his parents—her brother and sister-in-law—were killed in an accident. He had been only ten years old at the time and lived with her until he married. And for about the past ten years she had lived with him to help him raise his three children. They had moved to Thunder Point from Coquille four years ago when Mac had been given the Thunder Point substation to manage for the Sheriff’s Department. When they first discussed the possible move, Lou hadn’t been very keen on it—she’d lived in Coquille her whole life. She had a good teaching job and friends there. She suggested he commute to Thunder Point instead of moving there, which is what other deputies tended to do.

But the move had turned out to be a good idea on many levels. Lou was able to get a teaching job at the middle school right away—eighth grade English. She liked the town and the people. Eve’s instant friendship with Ashley had resulted in Lou’s friendship with Carrie and Gina, two women she’d grown very close to. And of course, there was the simple fact that in a little town like Thunder Point, a place with only a small fishing industry, she and Mac could pool their resources and afford a home large enough for himself, three kids, two dogs and an aunt.

Lou knew a lot about kids. She was working on raising a second generation of them, for one thing. She was a very intuitive teacher, for another. Mac’s kids, her nieces and nephew, hadn’t presented too many challenges yet. But they were definitely getting there. Eve was pretty serious about Landon Dupre. There hadn’t been too much drama yet, but as Lou knew only too well, that was probably coming—teenage love could be complicated. In fact, Eve’s best friend was going through it right now; Ashley was devastated by her breakup and was acting out in bizarre and frightening ways. Ashley needed an intervention.

To that end, Lou grabbed ten-year-old Dee Dee and twelve-year-old Ryan after school and took them with her to the diner. This wasn’t exactly rare for Lou—she enjoyed stopping off there for a cup of coffee on the way home from school at least once a week on days the kids didn’t have lessons or practices of some sort.

Ryan and Dee Dee ran straight to their favorite booth. “Can you get those hellions a couple of colas and an order of fries?” she asked Gina.

“Coming right up,” she said with a smile.

Gina went to the kitchen herself to serve up a plate of fries. She made two trips with the sodas and fries and then, back behind the counter, poured coffee for herself and Lou.

“How’s school?” Gina asked.

“Some days you’re the bug and some days you’re the windshield,” Lou said. “Gina, do you know where Ashley is?”

Gina instantly got a frightened look in her eyes. “School?”

Lou shook her head. “Eve, Landon and Ashley cut out of school. Just the last class. Landon drove them to Corvallis to watch a baseball game. Ashley promised to tell you, but I knew she wouldn’t. Listen, the girl could use some help.”

“Oh, God,” Gina said weakly, looking down. “You knew they were going? Doing that?”

Lou nodded. “Ashley wanted Landon to take her because she promised you she wouldn’t take your Jeep again, like she did before. Eve insisted on going along, I suspect to keep Ashley from throwing herself at Downy. I think it’s good that Eve went. Landon, God love him, would be like a deer caught in the headlights if Ashley had a meltdown.”

Gina took a breath. “What did Mac say about this excursion?”

“I’m going to tell him at dinner. I made a management decision. It’s not as if we haven’t gone to Oregon State for a ball game or two—it wasn’t a ridiculous request. Kids from Thunder Point go to State all the time to watch their old classmates play college ball. But I don’t want either of our girls wandering around alone up there. Landon might not be much good in a romantic crisis, but I trust he’d never let anyone give our girls trouble.”

“True,” Gina said.

“After not seeing her for a couple of weeks, she finally came to dinner at our house last night. I suspect she came because she had a special request—a trip to Corvallis. She doesn’t look good, Gina.”

“I know,” Gina said in a whisper.

“She’s lost weight, I can tell she’s not eating or sleeping,” Lou said. “I’m used to the girls never shutting their mouths at the dinner table, and now... She’s really despondent.”

“How do you make a person eat and sleep? Or stop crying every night, for that matter? I can hear her and if I go to her room, she doesn’t want to talk to me.”

Lou opened her purse and took out a slip of paper. “This is the name of a counselor. Her practice is in Bandon, so it’s a ride. I’m told she has a sliding scale if your income isn’t high. Or maybe your benefits cover counseling—you’re the one to know. A friend of mine—a teacher—recommended her.”

“There’s a counselor at the high school....”

“Garvey,” Lou said sourly. “He’s a horse’s ass. Based on some of his comments, he thinks girls are stupid ninnies—a running bone of contention between us. One of my girls from eighth grade English had him as a guidance counselor her junior year and he told her and her parents that she wasn’t college material. She’s one of the smartest girls I’ve taught. I’ve seen him at school board and PTA meetings. I think he has seaweed between his ears. I think Cliff gives better advice at the Cliffhanger’s bar than Garvey does.”

Gina just kept staring at the slip of paper. “You think she needs counseling?”

“I think it would be a mistake to take a chance. Gina, I know we all want to say it’s just a teen romance, but teenagers feel things so deeply, so intensely. They’re years away from realizing how minor this is in the grand scheme of things, how much more manageable life will be when they’re just a little more mature. They can get very sick, make some very stupid mistakes, do crazy things that can’t be undone. They sometimes have suicidal thoughts.”

Gina gasped.

“Yes, they do. Sometimes it’s self-image problems, sometimes their home life is totally horrible or they’re relentlessly picked on at school, sometimes it’s depression, which can present in adolescence. And sometimes it’s love gone sour. Sometimes, sweetheart, it’s a desperate, emotional act that can’t be reversed. Take her to this woman,” Lou said, pointing at the paper. “This Simone Ross.”

“What if she doesn’t want to go?” Gina said softly.

“Don’t ask,” Lou said. “Take her.”

And then Gina’s eyes misted over. “I think this has been as hard on me as it’s been on her. My heart aches for her. I think it’s harder when your kids hurt than when you do.”

“I agree, it’s harder when it’s your kids. When Cee Jay walked out on Mac and the kids, he really took a dive. And being a man, expressing his feelings was like torture, so he sulked and got angry a lot. But I know him, I knew he was in terrible pain. I’ve been dumped a time or two, I’ve done the dumping a time or two, but watching my family go through it was worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. He was too old to take to a counselor but he took my advice and got Eve in counseling when Cee Jay left and he did go with her. Thank God we got through it.”

“I wonder if her office is still open,” Gina said. “Three weeks ago, when she realized Downy was with another girl, she said she didn’t want to live.”

Lou leaned forward, nearly glaring at Gina. “Tell them this could be urgent. Tell the counselor’s office that your daughter has made suicidal statements.”

“Couldn’t that be an exaggeration? I’m not sure she really—”

“Gina James, would you rather be guilty of overdramatizing or lack of action? Jesus. Do as I say.”

“Yes, you’re right,” Gina said. “Why do we do that? Fear being an inconvenience? I’m stronger than that!” She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and punched in the numbers.

* * *

It was the only thing Ashley could think of to do—go to one of Downy’s games. When they were in high school together, that was the most important thing to him. He believed he couldn’t play well if she wasn’t there. Even though Eve thought it was a terrible idea when Ashley said she’d take her mother’s car again, she finally relented and said they could all go together. And Ashley hoped, hoped so much, that Downy would know she was there, know how much she loved him, and this whole nightmare would be turned around.

Landon, Eve and Ashley got to the game in the fourth inning. Downy was playing first base, a change from his usual position as pitcher but just as natural for him. He played four more innings and was up to bat four times—two base hits, a double and a home run just while the Thunder Point contingent was there. He was magnificent; he had the stadium on their feet. Then the game ended and Oregon State had shut out Arizona. Ashley was on her feet, screaming herself hoarse for Downy and the team at every play. The stands were full and the sun was setting, the stadium lights coming on before all was said and done.

People were streaming out of the stadium when Ashley said, “I want to see him.”

Eve stopped short. “What for? Ashley, what for?”

“I just want to tell him, good game. That’s all.”

“No, Ash. I don’t think you should,” Eve said.

“What can it hurt? Landon? What can it hurt?”

Eve shook her head. “He hasn’t called you,” she said. “It’s going to hurt.”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Ashley said, stalking off toward the exit. But rather than heading for Landon’s car in the parking lot, she walked around the stadium. She looked over her shoulder at Landon and Eve. “I know where the locker room and exit is—back here,” she said. She put a little skip in her step as she headed down the walk toward the back.

She had good instincts—she found what she was looking for. It wasn’t exactly an original idea. There were quite a few students waiting back there. Also, a player’s bus was parked off to the side—probably for the Arizona team, taking them either to a hotel or the airport, or perhaps even home.

People were loitering, standing around and leaning against cars, waiting for the players to come out. The first couple of guys came out and were greeted by friends and girlfriends with whoops, cheers, high fives and kisses. A few more emerged and got into the Arizona bus. Ashley stood back, waiting. She couldn’t help it, she twisted her hands a little bit. All she wanted in life was for Downy to see her and be as thrilled as he had been in the old days.

More players came out—a big rush of them, duffels in hand, shoes dangling by the laces—all of them still pumped from the game.

“Dupre?” Downy shouted, noticing Landon and rushing over to him, hand outstretched. “What are you doing here, buddy?”

Landon took the hand. “We came up to see you play. Great game.” Then he inclined his head toward Ashley.

And Downy frowned. “Oh, man. This isn’t good.”

“She wanted to see you play,” Landon said.

“Hey, Ash.”

She stepped forward, smiling, still holding her hands together, trying to keep them still, praying. A few weeks ago she would have thrown herself into his arms and he would have lifted her and kissed her silly. “Downy,” she said smiling tremulously. “Good game.”

“Thanks,” he said. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why? You used to love it when I came to your games.”

He dropped his duffel and looked at her harshly and she felt her lips quiver. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out. You have to stop now. Stop calling and texting all the time. Don’t come to the games.”

“Can’t we be friends?” she asked, her eyes tearing. “We’ve known each other since we were about five.”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, clicked a little and held it toward her so she could see the million texts and pictures she’d sent him. “This is not friendly. This is just about harassment.”

“Well, forgive me for living,” she snapped. “I thought you might appreciate some friends coming to your—”

“Downy!” a female yelled. “Baby!” And the tall, slim, dark-haired girl from the frat house threw herself on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and hugging his neck. “You are such a stud!” she yelled against his shoulder.

Her, Ashley thought. It’s still her.

“Selena,” he said, gently putting her on her feet. She looked a little confused when he put her down. “Some of my friends from home,” he said. “Landon, Eve and Ashley.”

At first Selena smiled, but then she glowered. She turned her attention toward Downy. “Is this the little psycho who keeps calling you and sexting you, day and night?”

Ashley felt the growl come out of her before she realized what was happening. Little psycho? She put up her hands in the shape of claws, nails bared, and took two giant steps toward the girl named Selena. She was going to claw her face and rip her hair out. But as fast as a lightning bolt, Downy put Selena behind him and Landon jumped between them. He grabbed Ashley’s wrists.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Landon said.

And Downy yelled, “What the hell, Ashley! Are you crazy?”

“Okay, we’re outta here,” Landon said. “Good seeing you, Downy.” He looped his hand through Ashley’s arm and gripped her tightly. She pulled against him and snarled, but he held on. “Don’t even think about it or I’ll throw you over my shoulder,” he muttered. “Come on, Eve. Come on.”

Landon made pretty fast tracks around the building to the parking lot. Eve was scrambling to keep up behind them while he was dragging Ashley.

“Let go,” Ashley said.

“Not a chance. I don’t want to have to tackle you.” Then he laughed without humor. “Seriously? A cat fight? Have you totally lost it?”

“He hurt me,” she said fiercely.

“And so you were going to scratch her eyes out?” he asked, marching her along.

“She called me a little psycho!”

“So you were going to prove it?”

She groaned and kept up with him somehow. But by the time they got to the SUV, Ashley was softly crying. “You just don’t get it,” she said softly, pitifully. “He said he loved me, that he’d love me forever....”

“I get it,” Landon said. He turned her toward him and gripped her upper arms. Eve caught up to them. “I get it. You were serious. You were a couple. And you broke up. I’m sorry, Ash. You think you’re going to get him back by acting like a psycho and beating up his new girlfriend?”

She stared at him, knowing the truth and wisdom in what he was saying, but it somehow didn’t help her at all. She could feel her face contort, then crumble as a fresh flood of tears ran down her cheeks. “It can’t be over,” she whispered, sobbing and gasping softly. “It can’t. It can’t. It can’t.”

* * *

Gina made the appointment for Ashley. No discussion. She tried to channel Aunt Lou and merely announced to Ashley that she was going, then drove her to Bandon. “I’m not crazy!” Ashley railed at Gina.

“Of course you’re not—you’re upset, that’s what you are. And you have good reason to be upset and brokenhearted and angry. Counselors have helped people get through all kinds of emotional situations and crises. Just talk with her. It certainly can’t hurt.”

“I’m not telling her my personal business!”

“And I’m sure she’s been through plenty of that before, too,” Gina muttered.

The ride to Bandon to the counselor’s office was quiet and sulky. Every now and then Ashley muttered, “I don’t want to go” and “I’m not telling her anything.”

The office of Simone Ross was small, nondescriptly furnished in what resembled cheap, old apartment furniture, maybe dating back to the I Love Lucy show. There was no one in the waiting room, however there was a desk with a clipboard, piece of paper, pen and at the top of the page it said, Please Sign In. There was a door, presumably to an interior office. After sitting in the waiting room for ten minutes, the interior door opened and a grandmotherly woman with an ample bosom, pink cheeks, short silver hair and wide hips smiled. “Ashley?”

Ashley nodded nervously and stood.

“Hello. I’m Simone. Why don’t you go inside.” Then she turned to Gina. “Ms. James? We’ll be about forty minutes. You can wait here or step out for a while.”

“I’ll...ah...wait.”

Simone gave a nod and immediately closed herself in with Ashley.

Gina sat on one of the uncomfortable chairs, alone in the reception area, listening. She didn’t hear a murmur from that inner office and she was aching to know what was happening in there.

Support like this was relatively new and many people relied on the right insurance coverage. When Ashley was born, Gina’s mom had been working at the diner for Stu. It was that event, the cost of the birth, that caused Stu to amp up his coverage for his full-time employees, of which there were two besides himself and his wife. It had been enormously expensive. It hadn’t gotten any less so, but Stu had gotten used to it. The coverage included some counseling.

This was what Gina would like to do one day, once she completed her master’s degree in counseling—help people through crises just like this. She had two reasons for this pursuit—she knew that things like this didn’t kill you and with the right kind of support, you grew stronger and wiser. Truthfully, since the moment Ashley and Downy started dating, Gina had feared the extremes—that they would marry young before ever experiencing life or finishing their educations, or that it might end disastrously, leaving her beautiful girl brokenhearted.

Ashley so needed this objective assistance. Gina would remember to thank Lou for insisting on something Gina should have thought of herself.

She leaned back and closed her eyes. Wasn’t this just the rule rather than the exception...? Just when you thought things had fallen so sweetly into place—Carrie’s business was good, Ashley had been happy, Gina had finally come together with Mac—some life event shook everything up. Right now all Carrie and Gina could think about was Ashley, suffering in sadness and depression, losing weight just as efficiently as any divorce diet, weeping into her pillow at night.

It was a long forty minutes before Simone opened the door to the reception room and Gina shot to her feet, betraying her anxiety.

“Will you join us for a few minutes, Ms. James?”

“Gina,” she said. “Please, just call me Gina.” And then she followed the older woman into the office.

Ashley held a wadded-up tissue in her grip and it was obvious—she’d done a little crying for the counselor. This suggested she had shared her personal business. Gina tried not to smile. The counselor indicated a chair and Gina took it expectantly.

“Ashley and I have talked about things and I’ve asked her to come back in two weeks for another talk. But in the meantime I’d like her to try a teen group that meets here, in this office. Their issues run the gamut—a little of everything—but they seem to be very helpful to each other. That group meets Tuesdays and Thursdays here—my associate moderates the group and he’s terrific. Ashley is willing to give that a try.”

“Okay,” Gina said. Why did she think this one counseling session would provide a cure? She knew better. And why did she fear group therapy? Ashley had a broken heart—almost a rite of passage. She feared hooking her up with a bunch of troubled teens, some possibly there by court order. “You’re good with that idea, Ash?” she asked.

“My first choice is to go home and just sit in the closet for a year,” Ashley said.

“Thus the counseling, group and individual,” Simone said. “The closet is not a good idea. Not designed for recovery. You move at your own speed in group,” she went on. “They’re not going to hold you down and make you talk—that’s entirely up to you. And if it’s not right for you, well, we’ll just try something else. In the meantime, please call me if you’re having a hard time.” She looked at Gina. “Ashley has my cell number and I’ll take her call if I’m not in session. If I’m in session, I’ll return the call as soon as I can.”

Four

Cooper had driven to North Bend a few times to meet Sarah, twice for lunch and twice for dinner when she was sitting alert and stuck at the air station. But she’d never invited him inside to pet the helicopters or meet her colleagues or crews. When she invited him to join her at the end of inspection blowout at a local pub, his face lit up like a beacon. They were even arriving and leaving together.

As they were driving from Thunder Point to North Bend he said, “You’re bringing me out of the closet,” he teased, obviously incredibly pleased.

“I try to keep my professional life and my personal life separate,” she said.

“You’re letting the guys know you have a boyfriend,” he said, laughter in his voice.

“How do you know I don’t just need a designated driver?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me at all if you planned to get wasted,” he said. “You’ve been really stressed out over this inspection. Maybe now you can relax a little bit.”

But it was not the inspection, Sarah thought. The inspection was a lot of work, but her team was outstanding and she never worried for a second—she knew they’d come out smelling like roses. It was that other matter—facing a potential reassignment in the near future and having no idea which way to turn.

Note to self, she thought, I need a better cover! I can’t let it show! Not until I’m ready to talk about it and I can’t talk about it until I know what the hell to do!

When she told Buzz she was bringing a date, she emphasized, “No one knows about your little HR bombshell so don’t breathe a word at the party.”

“Since I swore you to secrecy, no one better know,” he said.

“I mean, not even Cooper. Especially not Cooper. So don’t take him out by the keg for a private little chat.”

And then Buzz had lifted his blond eyebrows and said, “You know, when stuff like this came up, even if it’s secret stuff, if it affects the family, I would always talk to my wife,” he said.

And she said, “And now? Twice divorced? Who do you talk to now?”

“Okay,” he said. “Got me there. I wouldn’t talk to a girlfriend. If I had one.”

“Exactly,” she had said.

And to Cooper she said, “Listen, do me a favor. Don’t mention to anyone at this party that I’ve been stressed out. I wouldn’t want them to think I’m anything but cool and calm. When women get command positions and act like nervous girls, it really plays hell on the leadership role. Got that?”

He just grinned at her.

“I’m not going to get wasted and you better not, either.”

He grinned bigger.

“If they start to get a little nuts or start doing shots, walk away,” she ordered.

“And if I don’t?” he teased.

She reached across the cab of his truck and squeezed his thigh. “If you ever want to have sex again, you’ll behave.”

He laughed and said, “Now you’re speaking my language. And boy, am I glad you’ve got this inspection behind you!”

I need another kind of inspection, she thought. Something to keep his mind off my mood.

Most things about the party were entirely predictable—like the fact that everyone was loose and happy and got the biggest kick out of Sarah bringing a man, as if she were a nun or the resident lesbian. The fact that he was a helicopter pilot really charged them up and there were lots of questions about his civilian jobs. Cooper had worked for private contractors who provided the military with services from flying Blackhawks in foreign countries, to years working for oil companies in the Gulf of Mexico. There were many toasts to the XO and CO for the winning performance in the inspection and before long there were toasts for just about anything—for taking a breath, for standing after a couple of hours of steady drinking. And when the captain and XO left the party, they got louder and started doing shots.

Cooper was having a good time and, as ordered, did not do shots. But Sarah got pulled into the fray and threw back at least a couple, and she didn’t miss the twinkle in Cooper’s highly entertained eyes. She received many slaps on the back, many high fives, and it was confirmed that she was a lot more fun when she had a boyfriend. But when her face became flushed, Cooper said, “Okay, missy, that should do it for you. Let’s take off.”

“Please,” she said. “Oh, please...”

“I don’t need a bucket for the truck, do I?”

“Don’t be silly,” she said, eyes at half mast. “I can hold my liquor!”

“Oh, you’re doing great,” Cooper said. “It’s ten o’clock.” Sarah wasn’t sure they had cleared the parking lot before she was asleep. She had vague memories of being half carried, half dragged into the house.

In what seemed like three seconds later she groaned and muttered, “Turn off the light.”

“I don’t have enough cosmic power to turn off the light,” Cooper replied. “It’s morning.”

She sat up as though a cattle prod had assisted her. The second she was upright, she groaned and grabbed her head. Slowly, very slowly, she opened one eye and looked at him. He was lying beside her on her bed in his jeans and stocking feet. “What are you doing here?”

He put his hands behind his head. “Well, by the time I put you to bed, let out the dog and filled his water dish, Landon still wasn’t home. So—I turned on the TV, laid back down and fell asleep.”

She gingerly lifted the covers. She was wearing her shirt and panties. “Great,” she said. “My brother knows you undressed me.”

“More important than that, he knows you were toasted. By the way, you sure talk a lot in your sleep when you’re drunk.”

“I wasn’t drunk, I was just...” He was smiling at her. “Okay, I was drunk. Remind me that tequila shots on top of beer is not recommended. Why did you stay the night?”

“I was tired,” he said. “Believe me, Landon knows there was no nookie. Are you going to live?”

“It’s questionable.”

He lifted one eyebrow. “Little hair of the dog?” he asked.

“Don’t talk like that. It could get messy.”

“You’re a lightweight, Dupre.” He sat up. “I should get out to the bar before Rawley shows up and reports me missing. You coming out later?”

“Maybe after I get a new head.”

* * *

Cooper suspected Sarah had gone back to sleep. It was nearly noon by the time she showed up with Ham—they’d walked across the beach. And she looked both rested and recovered. “I was afraid to call you. Afraid you might be sleeping it off.”

Right at that moment, her cell chirped. “Landon has felt no such restraint,” she said. “He made as much noise as possible getting ready for school and he thinks it’s extremely funny that I’m hungover.” Then into the phone she said, “What?”

A few moments later Cooper said, “That can’t be the first time he’s seen you a little tiddly.”

“Cooper, I was not tiddly. I was wasted. And yes, that probably was the first time he’s seen that. You’re right, I’m a lightweight.”

“And he’s punishing you with phone calls?”

“He’s between classes, calling from the men’s room—I heard flushing. They’re not supposed to make calls during school hours. So, he wants to go over to Eve’s house. And I’ll be more than happy if he does.”

“Sounds fine to me. Jeez, I have to get a better system around here. I’d buy Rawley a cell phone, but he probably wouldn’t use it.”

“What’s the matter with Rawley?”

“He doesn’t talk to me unless he has to. He didn’t show up today. He pretty much makes his own hours, which is fine. Everything we have to do gets done. But if he’s not coming at all, he should let me know. That way when he doesn’t let me know, like today, I know he’s all right.”

“Do you think he’s not all right?” she asked.

“No telling. I’ve been thinking about driving over to Elmore to check on him, but there’s no one to watch the store.”

“Cooper, I’ll keep an eye on things. How long could it take?”

He shrugged. “Almost a half hour each way, then seeing if he’s around. He takes care of his father, who is an invalid. When Rawley works, a neighbor lady who’s a nurse’s aid in a nursing home looks in on him. If I can’t find Rawley anywhere, I’ll need to call hospitals or something. Rawley is strange, but he’s pretty reliable.”

“Then just go. Will you make me dinner for me tonight?”

“Sure,” he said, pulling her in for a kiss. “I’d rather lock the doors and take you upstairs for a while. You were less than romantic last night.” He kissed her again. “But I should make sure Rawley is okay. I don’t know how old he is, but older than dirt, I suspect.”

“Just go. Ease your mind. Then if there aren’t a lot of people around later, we can make out awhile.”

“Can we make out naked?”

“No,” she said with a laugh. “What if my brother popped in for some reason?”

“Your brother. You know, I like Landon, but is it too late to put him up for adoption? We could get visitation a couple of days a week....”

“And the rest of the week?”

He nuzzled her neck. “I think you know....”

“Go,” she said. “I’ll check out the freezer and decide what I want for dinner.”

* * *

Cooper found Rawley’s red truck in the driveway at his house, indicating he was at home, but there was a for sale sign in the back window of the truck. Maybe he’d decided to work on restoring Ben’s old truck and drive it at the same time. When Cooper found all the stuff in Ben’s old storage shed—truck, Razor, tools, etc.—he’d given Ben’s truck to Rawley and invited him to use any tools he needed to work on it. He gave the Razor to Sarah and Landon since he had a Rhino for himself.

Cooper parked on the street, walked up the brick steps and knocked on the door. He knocked again before Rawley opened the door. Rawley was wearing a white dress shirt with his jeans—a new look for him. There was no bandana tied around his head, either. And his hair—extremely thin on top and usually long—had been trimmed.

“What’s up, Rawley?” Cooper asked. And Rawley just held open the door so Cooper could step inside. “You’re selling the truck?” he asked as he entered. And then he saw the empty wheelchair sitting in front of the fireplace. “Rawley...”

“He passed real quiet,” Rawley said. “In his sleep. I found him this morning.”

“Aw, Rawley. I’m sorry, man. You should have called me.”

Rawley just shook his head. “I knew what to do.”

Cooper reached out and put a strong hand on his shoulder. “I could’ve helped.”

“You got a business to run.”

“I also have commitments to friends,” he said. “I would’ve put the big thermos on the porch, some doughnuts on a plate under the glass so the birds wouldn’t get in ’em. There’s just the two of us out there on the beach. There’s gonna be times we have to be somewhere else.”

Rawley, so unexpressive, looked surprised by that. “Just figured I’d get ’er done.”

“You’re selling the truck?”

He shrugged. “My dad, he had himself a plot, paid for, but that’s about it. It’s either sell the house or the truck.”

“To pay for the funeral?”

“Won’t be no funeral, there’s just us. But he needs a box.”

Cooper stood uncertainly for a moment. “Could we sit down in the kitchen and have a cup of coffee?”

Without answering, Rawley turned and headed toward the kitchen. Once there he brought a fresh cup out of the cupboard and filled it for Cooper. Then he filled his own cup. Then, to Cooper’s surprise, he put cream and sugar on the table, along with a spoon. And he sat down.

Cooper didn’t really know where to begin. “Mac said you’ve been hanging around the bait shop for a few years now.”

Rawley nodded.

“Where did you work before that, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Odd jobs. Here and there.”

“And lived here with your dad?”

He shook his head. “I just got reconnected with my dad four years ago. Ben forced that issue,” he said, naming their late friend.

“Where were you living before that?” Cooper asked.

“Here and there.” Cooper decided to wait him out. He sipped his coffee, excellent coffee, and just didn’t speak for a couple of the longest minutes of his life. “I didn’t get on with people so much after the war,” Rawley said. “It wasn’t like now—folks didn’t celebrate Vietnam soldiers too much. Made a person want to disappear. That, and bombs going off while you sleep—makes a man just want to be alone.”

PTSD issues, Mac had said. “Understandable,” Cooper said.

“I stopped by to see my dad sometimes. Just for a day or so, every few years or so, but not for long. I had burdens. You know.”

“I know,” Cooper said. And he thought, there are so many of us. Men without strong attachments who just wander. Cooper didn’t have PTSD issues that he was aware of, but he still felt like a loner often enough. And, like Rawley, after leaving the service he hadn’t gone home to his family. He’d kept moving.

“My dad used to fish off Ben’s dock,” Rawley said. “He’d have a shot of Wild Turkey sometimes before heading home. Ben found me. I hung out with a couple of vets around Eureka, not too far from the VA. Sometimes if we needed something, like food or money to eat, the VA was as good a place as any. Used clothes, too. Then Ben said my dad was doing poorly. He hadn’t been fishing in so long, Ben checked on him and my dad couldn’t get himself upstairs to go to bed most nights so he slept in the chair. Ben said my dad needed help. He said he’d give me a part-time job if it could be worked out.”

“So you came home to help your dad,” Cooper said.

“It’s different coming home because you’re needed than coming home because you’re needy,” Rawley said.

Cooper lifted his coffee cup to his lips. “Exactly right,” he agreed.

They drank their coffee in silence for a while.

“So, you have a house here,” Cooper said. “Place to live and a job. I guess that means you’ll be staying.”

“It’s almost habit now,” Rawley said.

“You keep this place real nice, Rawley,” Cooper said. “It must have made your dad real proud to leave it to you.”

“Like I said, it’s just us. Buried my mother some thirty-eight years ago. The Red Cross brought me home from Vietnam. Since I was an only son.”

“And then you went back?”

“Yeah. But that was okay at the time. I knew how to act over there. I wasn’t real sure over here. Times were different. Soldiers weren’t heroes back in those days. It was hard times here.”

“I’m glad you told me this, Rawley,” Cooper said.

“Why?”

“It’s not easy to work side by side with a man you don’t know anything about,” Cooper said. “I realize sometimes a man’s private.”

“I ain’t all that private,” he said. “Sometimes you get to know a person and you’re sorry.”

Cooper laughed. “I guess that’s true, too.” He drained his cup and stood up. “You order a box for your old man yet?”

“Yup,” Rawley said, standing.

“No funeral, huh?”

“A graveside prayer. A prayer for soldiers, that’s all he wanted. He was real specific. He was in the Army, too. But I think he ordered it up more for me. He was that kind of man.”

“Where is the service?” Cooper asked.

“Why?”

“I thought I’d come.”

“Why?”

“You’re my friend.” Cooper remembered the day Rawley handed him the envelope with Ben’s will and a key without a word and then just high-tailed it out of there. “In fact, one of my first friends since I’ve been here, even if you did leave me to deal with that shithole of a befouled bait shop alone.”

And at that, Rawley grinned. He had a good pair of dentures. “Stank up real bad, didn’t she?”

“Real bad,” Cooper agreed. “But that’s rotten septic over the dam. Now, I’d like to take care of that casket for you, Rawley. I think if Ben were alive, he’d want to do that.”

“Charity don’t sit well with me,” he said.

“Sure it does. You took all Ben’s old clothes and stuff to the VA. The washers and dryers, dishes, glassware and flatware went to some church group you knew about. You could’ve kept it and had a garage sale, but you didn’t. I have no doubt you’d give the shirt off your back if someone needed it. Now take the sign out of your truck, tell me what funeral parlor is taking care of the box, what time to be at the cemetery and where. Let’s not argue. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to.”

So Rawley told him where to be at 10:00 a.m. on Thursday.

“You have a suit?” Cooper asked.

“I don’t need a suit. My dad might not even recognize me in a suit.”

Cooper laughed. “My brother-in-law is some big-shot executive, but he got fat. My sister sent me a few of his suits. I’ll be here at eight on Thursday morning with one of my hand-me-down suits that I never wear, anyway. If you don’t drown in it, it’s yours. With any luck, you’ll wear it exactly once. Unless you get married or something.”

“Coop,” he said, using a name on him for maybe the first time. “Ben was right about you. You’re a kick in the ass.”

“Yeah, that’s me. Flattery will get you nowhere.”

* * *

Rawley filled out the suit pretty well. There was more to him than met the eye. In his old worn-out jeans and shirts, with his thin hair and drawn face, he looked scrawny, like a skinny old guy, but in fact he was sixty-three, long-legged and had some strong arms on him. Cooper should’ve guessed; Rawley worked pretty hard at the bar, especially buying and delivering large boxes of supplies. And now that he thought about it, there had been no wheelchair lift in their house. Rawley had probably been carrying his father to bed. If he had a run-down look about him it probably had more to do with living an unstable life for forty years or so.

He had shaved, something Rawley didn’t do every day. His hair was slicked back, his nails clipped, his best shoes cleaned and polished. And he was very somber.

“I’ll drive,” Cooper said. “This is a tough day for you.”

“He’s resting now. The last few years were hard on the old man.”

“I’m sure. At least he had his son with him.”

“You ever had a son, Cooper?” Rawley asked.

Cooper shook his head. “No son, no wife. We’re a lot alike, Rawley. Couple of guys just moving where the wind blows us. Drifters.”

“Maybe that’s set to change,” Rawley said.

“Let’s get to the cemetery and say a last goodbye.”

There was no more talking until Cooper had driven them almost to the cemetery gates. Then Rawley said, “He was a real good father when I was a kid. When I was growing up. He was a better father than I was a son.”

After a moment of respectful silence Cooper said, “I think maybe a lot of us feel that way about our dads, Rawley.”

The cemetery appeared to be crowded for a Thursday morning—plenty of cars parked along the winding roadway. And then Cooper saw the Sheriff’s Department SUV and Gina’s old Jeep. And there sat the van from Carrie’s Deli. But Rawley was the one to speak first.

“What the hell,” he said. “What did you do, Coop?”

Cooper shook his head and looked for a place to park. “I didn’t say anything. I only told Sarah and Mac, that’s all. And I only told them so they’d know why I wasn’t going to be around this morning.”

“Well, Jesus,” Rawley said. “Lookit those people. Must be twenty or thirty of ’em. They didn’t know my dad.”

Cooper pulled along the side of the road and killed the engine. “They’re here for you, Rawley.”

“They don’t know me, neither.”

“Sure they do, Rawley. Maybe you don’t chew the fat a lot, but most of those folks see you all the time. You’re one of them. By the way, was there anyone you talked to regularly?”

Rawley shrugged and made to get out of the big truck. “Ben. Just Ben. Till you came around. Am I gonna have to make conversation with all of them now?”

“I don’t think they expect that,” Cooper said with a laugh. “If the spirit moves you, you might thank them for the effort.” They walked toward the casket. “It must be a comfort to know Ben will be holding the door open for your dad.”

The casket was covered with an elaborate spray of white flowers.

“I didn’t buy no flowers,” Rawley said.

Cooper said, “I just took care of that one bouquet at the end there. It’ll sit on the grave site after we’re gone.”

Rawley and Cooper stood on one side of the casket opposite the minister, who could only be identified by the fact that he held a bible. Mac and Gina and the others stood respectfully around the grave and waited for the minister to start the service.

“Shall we begin? Just a few words before we lay our friend William Goode to his final resting place—William was a kind and patient man. It was about a year ago when he told me he was tired, that he was ready to go, that he had no regrets about his life and hoped that when he met his maker it would be a joyful reunion. His wife departed long ago and he had missed her every day but was confident he’d see her again. And I thought to myself—I hope I face my final days with that peace and tranquility. Bill, as he liked to be called, was difficult to understand since his stroke a year ago, but I asked him if he’d made his peace with God and he nodded and said, ‘My staying any longer is a waste of time and medicine. This is enough.’

“He wanted one prayer. He wanted to honor our military and chose the veteran’s prayer. He was very clear—no elaborate fuss—just a prayer to ‘launch him’ as he put it. He said a toast now and again wouldn’t offend him. William Goode is right with God and on his way home. Here’s to you, William Goode.

“And William wanted a poem written by a soldier to be read at his burial. This poem—‘Final Inspection’—was written by Sergeant Joshua Helterbran.

The soldier stood and faced God

Which must always come to pass

He hoped his shoes were shining

Just as brightly as his brass.

Step forward now, you soldier,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?

The soldier squared his shoulders and said,

No, Lord, I guess I ain’t

Because those of us who carry guns

Can’t always be a saint.

I’ve had to work most Sundays

And at times my talk was tough,

And sometimes I’ve been violent,

Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny

That wasn’t mine to keep...

Though I worked a lot of overtime

When the bills got just too steep,

And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear,

And sometimes, God forgive me,

I’ve wept unmanly tears.

I know I don’t deserve a place

Among the people here,

They never wanted me around

Except to calm their fears.

If you’ve a place for me here, Lord,

It needn’t be so grand,

I never expected or had too much,

But if you don’t, I’ll understand.

There was a silence all around the throne

Where the saints had often trod

As the soldier waited quietly,

For the judgment of his God,

Step forward now, you soldier,

You’ve borne your burdens well,

Walk peacefully on Heaven’s streets,

You’ve done your time in Hell.

After a brief prayer, the crowd began to disperse. Carrie James approached Rawley. “My condolences, Rawley. I have a couple of platters and a casserole for you. I could bring them by your house or you could take them now. I have them in the van.”

He lifted his brows. “You know I did all the meals for my dad, right? He was infirm.”

“I know. But you might not feel like it right now. And it’s important you eat.”

Cooper could tell he was speechless. It took a while but finally Rawley said, “I could make coffee.”

Carrie smiled and said, “That would be nice, Rawley. We’ll follow you home.”

* * *

It was a very brief open house at Rawley’s place—the folks had to return to work. But there were twenty of them including Cliff from Cliffhanger’s and his wife, Aunt Lou, Ray Anne, Stu from the diner and his wife, Belinda. Landon got a pass from school to represent Sarah, who had to work. A few of Rawley’s neighbors showed up. Carrie and Gina brought a couple of big trays of cold cuts, cheeses, olives, pickles, sliced tomatoes, lettuce and red onion. Some of Carrie’s small sandwich loaves and condiments were placed on the table. There were seven covered dishes that could be frozen—each one bearing the name of the contributor so the dishes could be returned. “If you just bring them by the diner whenever it’s convenient, Gina will see they get back where they belong,” Carrie suggested.

Rawley showed up at the beach bar first thing the next morning and his whole face looked different. He had not expected this kind of outpouring from folks he felt he knew only in passing. “Ain’t this place something?” he asked Cooper.

Cooper shook his head in wonder. “It really is something,” he agreed. “You okay on your own for a while? Like a few hours?”

“Take a day off if you want,” Rawley said. “I got things covered.”

Five

Another April day had dawned bright and clear. Four days after the funeral, Sarah finally had a day off. Leaving Rawley in charge, Cooper got out the Harley and took it to Highway 101 and drove the five miles to the exit to Thunder Point and to Sarah’s house. When she opened the door, she was just drying her hair, fresh out of the shower. She wore jeans and a T-shirt and her feet were bare—she was barely dressed and that made him smile.

“Well, Mr. Cooper, this is a surprise,” she said. “I don’t usually see you this early unless I walk across the beach with Hamlet.”

“I thought I’d take you into the hills to see the wildflowers—all that rain was good for something. I thought we’d just get out of town. But, seeing you, I’m having some second thoughts....”

“Are you now?” she asked with a laugh.

Cooper stepped inside, slipped his hand around to the back of her neck and pulled her lips onto his. She parted her lips for him, embraced him and he gave the inside of her mouth a healthy taste. “We haven’t made love in a while,” he pointed out to her.

“It’s been a few days,” she admitted. “But I want to see the flowers.”

“You will. You will. But first I want to strip you naked, kiss every inch of your body, turn you on, stir you up, make you scream my name...at least twice.”

“Only twice?” she whispered, breathless already.

“Then I’m going to put you on the back of that Harley and take you to see the flowers on the hillsides. And vibrate all your tender lady parts so you’ll want me again.”

She laughed at him. “Cooper, you are such a sweet talker.”

“Let’s not talk right now,” he said. “Let’s talk after.”

She took his hand to lead him to her bedroom. The bed hadn’t even been made yet. She stood beside the bed and said, “If you’re going to seduce me, you have to undress me.” Then she slid a hand over the crotch of his jeans and said, “Quickly.”

“Maybe we don’t have to be quick today,” he said. “Maybe we can be slow and easy and—”

And she laughed. He loved the sound of her laughter and hadn’t heard enough of it lately. “We’ve tried that,” she said. He lifted the T-shirt over her head and her hands went to the snap on his jeans. “It takes about three minutes for me to start begging and you to start delivering.”

“I have to admit, I do like that part.”

Lately he’d been concerned; Sarah had been quiet. Too many times he’d looked at her and found her staring off at nothing, distracted by some deep thought. Or he might say something and she’d miss it, her mind wandering. He knew something had been bothering her and now he knew it was not the inspection at the Coast Guard station.

And yet, when they were like this, falling into each other, she was entirely his, there was no question about it. You don’t fake this. Her body responded and her thoughts only wandered to him.

She shoved down her jeans, kicked them off, flopped back on the bed and waited for him to dispense with boots, socks, jeans, shirt. And then he just looked at her because, God, she was so beautiful to him. “You’re staring, Cooper,” she said.

He knelt gently beside her, laid down next to her, pulled her into his arms and while one hand cradled her jaw for a deep kiss, the other went roaming, immediately sliding into her most erogenous parts. She moaned and he smiled against her lips. He had been with too many women and yet, had never had a woman like this, a woman who wanted him as much as he wanted her. She wanted him as quickly, as powerfully, as completely as he wanted her.

He spent a few minutes kissing her neck, ear lobes, breasts, nipples, and then he was sliding into her. “Have I thanked you for coming into my life?”

“Over and over,” she said a bit breathlessly. Then she moved his fingers back to that special place, the place that brought it all together.

“I love it like this—skin on skin. When you come...”

“You do,” she finished for him.

“I do,” he said. But he didn’t move. He held her still, savoring the connection. “When I’m in this place, Sarah, I feel like I’m completely yours and you’re completely mine. I love you, Sarah.”

“Cooper, let’s say we love each other after...”

“You in a hurry, sweetheart?”

“I didn’t think I was, but I guess—yes. Do what you do so well.” She opened her legs wider, grabbed him with her legs to pull him deeper. “Ohhh, Cooper....” And he could feel her building to it. He took turns on her mouth, her nipple, moving in and out of her, massaging her, listening to the tempo of her sounds rising, increasing, and these were the sounds he loved. And when that great sound came...Cooper! He held her still and deep, his hands on her head holding her for his kiss. He felt her close around him, pulsing, and he really had no choice. He let it go with a loud hum, a long and low groan, a few moments later followed by many small, loving kisses and murmurs about how amazing she was, how beautiful, how erotic.

“Sarah, what you do to me...” he said. And then slowly, without letting go of her, he rolled onto his side, pulling her near, and just held her.

“So much for slow....” she whispered.

He chuckled and squeezed her. “We get the job done.”

“Yes, we do,” she replied, curling up next to him. “Am I going to see the flowers today?”

“Uh-huh. When I can let go of you. I can’t yet,” he said. “God, what you do to me...”

“You said that already.”

He ran a hand down her body, over a plump breast and down to the apex of her thighs. “I told my parents and sisters I was dating a helicopter pilot and my youngest sister asked me if I was gay.”

“Do you need a letter of affirmation for the family? Because that’s one thing you are not.”

He chuckled. “I just need you to be my girl, that’s all.”

“Does it make you nervous to love a commitment-phobe?”

Was that what was bothering her? Her avowed fear of commitment after a disastrous, brief marriage? “Nope,” he said. “I’m patient. And as long as you love me, I’m happy.”

“You’re not afraid I’m going to get scared any second and run?”

“Nope.”

She propped up on one elbow so she could look into his eyes. “I hope I don’t disappoint you, Cooper.”

“You haven’t yet,” he said. Then he grabbed her, rolled with her and looked down into her eyes. “You’re everything I want, Sarah. When I said I loved you, it wasn’t conditional. And it wasn’t temporary. And it’s not something you have to live up to or down to—it just is. If you think I’m going to quit early, you’re crazy. See, the truth is, I could disappoint you. I might not be enough for you to stick it out. But I’m going to die trying. Now do you want to see those flowers?”

“I thought you wanted me to scream your name at least twice....”

“The day’s not over yet, Sarah.” And then he kissed her as convincingly as he could.

While she showered a second time, Cooper let out the dog and refilled his water bowl.

Women, he thought. They always had some mysterious list of requirements. They were famous for accusing men of not being committed enough or intimate enough but the evidence was in, sometimes there was no such thing as enough. And Cooper had been around the block—he was only capable of feeling his feelings. He wasn’t the best at expressing them, but he had gotten damn good at feeling them since he found Sarah. He felt them down to his toes. He wanted her forever. He’d love it if she wanted him right back, also forever, but the ball was in her court now. She had issues and he had plenty of time. He would concentrate on making her happy. For as long as it took. He was confident he could outlast her.

* * *

The flowers were just getting started in the foothills, but the ride was still fantastic for Sarah. Cooper took her into the foothills south of Thunder Point, getting off Highway 101 at Port Orford and traveling east into the Pacific Coast Ranges. They traveled down a couple of unmarked roads back into the wilderness and it seemed as though every ten minutes they were crossing a river. He drove them up mountain roads, then down again. It was fairly deserted out there, just the occasional house or vehicle, and the air was cool. They passed a sign for Wild Rogue Wilderness and Sarah thought that name suited Cooper perfectly. Along the side of the road the new spring growth bloomed in orange, white, purple and yellow. There were big orange flowers that looked like small sunflowers or large daisies, some that looked like pansies in pastels, little purple puffs and large white blossoms mixed with the green. Spattered among the pine were trees laden with new buds. They drove through a myrtle grove and up along a ridge where they could stop and look down a couple thousand feet to a rushing river that had a few fishermen along the banks.

They found a good spot to stop and Cooper helped her off the Harley. He found a big rock that overlooked the river and sat on it and she came to him, ruffling her hair to get rid of the helmet head. She pushed his knees apart and sat between them and his arms went around her, holding her.

“Lot’s more than just flowers out here,” she said. “This is beautiful.”

“I’ve never been here. It just looked like an interesting road.”

She sighed deeply. “I stay too busy with work, chores and Landon. I haven’t been exploring enough around here. I’m glad we did this today.”

“Well, there was that divorce last year,” he reminded her. “That probably took up some free time.”

“Tell me about it,” she said with a rueful laugh. “The lawyers were very efficient. Most of my time was spent licking my wounds, then looking for a place to settle with Landon. I couldn’t stay in that house and I couldn’t afford it, either.”

“No support?” he asked.

“Are you kidding? I make a little more than Derek, my ex. I have more time in the Coast Guard. And Landon was my responsibility, not his and mine. I never would have accepted support payments, but I would have liked it if Derek had called Landon, acted like there was some loss there, even if it was only a phone call.”

“I want to ask you something about that,” Cooper said. “You know, the divorce and stuff?”

“What stuff?” she said, caressing the arms around her waist.

“That’s over, right? Not just on paper, but in your head?”

She turned slightly to look at him over her shoulder. “Of course it’s over. What are you asking?”

“You’ve been in a real mood lately,” he said, and she turned back, looking down at the river. “Don’t bother denying it, we both know you’re not that great at hiding it. You’re in a real mood, running hot and cold, real distracted. And—”

“Cooper, I’m sorry about that. Just give me a little time, okay?”

“But that’s it—time for what? Is your ex giving you trouble? Pressuring you? Telling you he has regrets? Making you have second thoughts about the divorce? About us?”

“What?” she asked with a laugh, turning again. “Really? Oh, Cooper, I am so over Derek. I thank you for that, by the way. I was not interested in getting involved with a man, but you’re relentless. If there was anything left for Derek, it’s been long gone since the day you first kissed me.”

“Then what is it, Sarah? Is it just me? Do the other pilots and crews notice? You’re not acting like yourself.”

“No one has noticed anything because they’re almost all men and they think women have two behaviors—having a period or not having one.” She smiled at him. “Cooper, it’s a work-related issue that I have to handle on my own. Not only is it confidential, you can’t help with this. I need a few more weeks to figure it out. It’s got to do with my Coast Guard career path. I’ve been lucky, I’ve been on the fast track.”

He tightened his arms around her. “I doubt luck had much to do with it.”

“Gender might have played a role. I don’t mean that they’d throw me promotions for being female, but the boys upstairs might get a little excited to come across a woman who can pull her weight since there aren’t enough of us—know what I’m saying?”

“You’re saying you’ve been offered something....”

“No, Cooper. I’m saying I’ll be at a crossroad soon and I’ll have to be ready to decide if I want to make a change in direction.”

“And you don’t think it would help to talk it out?” he asked.

And how would that sound? she asked herself. She was a woman with no good options—getting out without means of support or staying in and going to the other coast. Leaving her brother behind or wrenching him out of an ideal situation in Oregon. Would opening up to Cooper sound like, “Please offer to marry me and support me?” Would it sound like, “Help me say goodbye, help me to give you up?”

“There will be time for talking it out,” she said. “Right now I have to try to think about the situation without any influence from any quarter. And that’s hard. But it’s what I should do, for now.”

He rubbed a knuckle along her cheek. “No tempting ex, huh?”

She gave a little laugh. “He’s long gone. Rumor has it he’s already found someone to date and cheat on in Alaska.”

* * *

A week later Gina was wiping down counters after the morning rush at the diner, feeling a little better about things. Ashley wasn’t exactly markedly improved after one individual counseling session and one group session, but she seemed slightly better. She loved Simone Ross and said of the group, “It’s nice to know they’re way more screwed up and miserable than I am, and I can’t tell you a single other thing about them. I swore.” And Gina didn’t hear her crying at night as often or for as long.

Ashley’s thinness wore on Gina. Ashley didn’t look starved, but her weight loss was so obvious. She normally had such lovely, delicious curves and over the past few weeks she’d probably lost a good ten pounds. Young girls seemed to relish that pencil-thin figure, but a mother looking at her daughter wasn’t thrilled by it. Ashley had never wanted to be supermodel thin, but her clothes were hanging on her.

“Eve said she’s thinking of breaking up with Landon just long enough to lose five pounds,” Ashley said.

But all Gina wanted was for her little girl to get her appetite back. And Carrie was working just as hard to help achieve that, preparing all of Ashley’s favorite and most desired meals every evening. Ashley was still slim as a straw, but Gina and Carrie had each put on a few pounds on her behalf.

Gina filled the scrub bucket and pulled on her rubber gloves. It was her curse that when she had a lot on her mind, she cleaned. She was just about to get on her hands and knees behind the counter to give the floor a good scouring when the door to the diner opened. She looked up to see a woman come in. In fact, the woman nearly took her breath away, she was so stunning. She had thick raven hair that fell to her shoulders in those soft Hollywood curls, shining blue eyes, ivory skin, pink cheeks and luscious lips. She looked familiar and Gina wondered if she’d seen her in a movie. She wore very expensive clothes as only a woman like herself, who bought discount whenever possible, would know. Designer slacks, shiny pumps with very high heels, a leather blazer with a designer logo on the breast pocket. And her purse was worth at least a week of Gina’s tips—a Dooney & Bourke.

Gina pulled off her gloves and smiled. “Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” the woman said, smiling with straight, white teeth. “I wonder if you know—will the Sheriff’s office across the street be closed all day, since it’s Saturday?”

“No, but since they usually have only one of the deputies in on the weekends, he’s in and out. Do you need the police?”

“No,” she said with a laugh. “I just wanted to see Deputy McCain. I wonder if he’s going to be around today?”

“Well, you might just have stumbled into the right place.” Gina looked at her watch. “He’s working today and in about an hour, he’ll probably be stopping by for his morning coffee. Unless he’s tied up somewhere.”

“That’s good. If you don’t mind, I’ll stick around. See if he comes in.”

“I can call him for you, if you’d like.”

“You know him?”

Gina laughed. “Everyone knows everyone here. Plus, their office being across the street from the diner means we see each other almost every day. I’ll check and make sure he’s coming by this morning.”

“Thanks,” she said, digging into her expensive purse for her cell phone. “I should return a couple of calls while I wait.”

“Perfect. Can I get you a cup of coffee? Anything?”

“Coffee would be great. And how about a slice of that pie?”

“Coming up. I’ll get that for you before I call him.” While the woman went to a booth in the rear of the diner, presumably so that Gina wouldn’t overhear her talking to her good friend George Clooney, Gina served up a cup of coffee and slice of pie. She took it back to the incognito movie star. Since she wasn’t talking on the phone yet, Gina asked, “Can I tell him who’s waiting for him?”

“Well, I wanted to surprise him, but go ahead. Tell him it’s his wife. I’m Cee Jay McCain.” And she flashed that glorious smile.

Gina was frozen. Stunned. The coffee and pie were suspended in midair. “Wife?” she asked weakly. “I thought Mac was divorced.”

“Right. Ex-wife,” she amended. “We’ve been out of touch and I’m looking forward to seeing him.”

Gina put down the pie and coffee. “Let me make that call,” she said, scooting back behind the counter.

Gina’s hands actually trembled as she fished her phone out of her pocket. She had a lot of bizarre and random thoughts as she punched in Mac’s number. I should get my teeth whitened, she thought. Underwire, I need more underwire....

Glancing over, she could see that Cee Jay was chatting and laughing into her phone. Gina turned away so that her back was facing Cee Jay.

“McCain,” he answered.

“Mac, I think you’d better come to the diner if you can. There’s someone here to see you.”

“Gina? You all right?”

She cleared her throat. “Mmm. Yeah, fine. Are you coming?”

“Who’s there?”

“Mac, you’re not driving, are you?”

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to drive up a pole....”

“I’m pulled over. What’s going on?”

“It’s Cee Jay, Mac. She’s here. To see you.”

Dead silence answered her. And it stretched out.

“Mac?” she asked.

“Good thing I was pulled over. Listen, try to keep this quiet. I have to know what she wants and I don’t want the whole town to know before I have a chance to talk to my kids. And to Lou.”

“Not a problem,” Gina said.

“I’m there in five.”

“Sure. Fine. Drive carefully.”

Gina disconnected. She looked down at herself. Cheap black pants that were no longer as black as they had once been, checkered blouse, name tag.... Why did she always wear that stupid name tag? There had been about four people she didn’t know in the diner in the past month. God, the woman was so beautiful. And no wonder she seemed familiar—Eve was a younger version of her mother.

Gina felt a devastation come over her. Grief. After four years of devoted friendship she and Mac had finally become lovers. They tried to be discreet since their sixteen-year-old daughters were best friends, but at long last they could hold hands, embrace, even a chaste kiss was appropriate. Privately, there was more, so much more. Passion so rich, her whole life had been changed by it. They loved each other, they’d said so.

But now? What would he do after seeing Cee Jay? Would everything change? Even if Cee Jay hadn’t come back to reclaim her ex-husband, would Mac take one look at her and fall in love all over again? How could he not?

Gina poured herself a cup of coffee. She wasn’t much of a drinker but she sure wished she had a shot of something to jack up that coffee. Her hands trembled as she lifted the cup to her lips. And while Cee Jay laughed and chatted into the phone, taking petite bites of her apple pie, she appeared so carefree. So animated. How do you leave your three children, not see them for ten years, then stroll back into their lives all happy-go-lucky? How do you do that?

Gina had the sense that the world she knew was changing, and she had no idea what the outcome might be, but she was suddenly afraid.

The Sheriff’s Department SUV rolled down the street, parked in front of the deputy’s office and Mac strode purposefully across the street, hitching up his heavy gun belt as he walked. He came into the diner, gave a nod to Gina, walked right past her and stood at the booth, looking down at his ex-wife.

Cee Jay looked up at him, smiling. She disconnected from her call and stood from the booth. Gina could see the happy expression on her face, and then it fell into a serious look as she listened to Mac.

And then they walked out of the diner, Mac striding in front of his ex-wife and leaving her to follow. He walked across the street to his department vehicle while Cee Jay momentarily disappeared. And then Gina saw her drive by, following Mac in a shiny sports car convertible. Her car wasn’t white, it wasn’t beige or soft gold. It was pearl.

Then Gina had to sit down. Her legs would no longer hold her up.

Six

Mac called Deputy Steve Pritkus at home. “Steve, can you cover the town for a few hours? I have a family emergency.”

“Everything all right, Mac?”

Far from all right. Far! “No injuries, Steve. Just a situation that has to be dealt with immediately. I can explain more later. It’s sensitive. Should I call Charlie?”

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