A Love Worth Fighting For

When Slade McKennon comes looking for Mia Cooper, the Dawson sheriff’s only mission is to keep her safe. But the wounded DEA agent isn’t ready to trust the man whose past is so entwined with hers. Slade lives by his own code of honor—one that prevents the widowed father from pursuing the woman he’s known most of his life. But for the first time in ages, Mia feels safe. And she’s finally starting to seal up the scars on both her body and her heart. Can Slade and his sweet but aching son provide the healing touch of love?

Cooper Creek: Home is where the heart is for this Oklahoma family

“Mia.” Slade’s voice was soft.

“Slade, please stop. I’m good.”

“You’re always good, aren’t you? You can conquer the world on your own, right? You don’t need us mere mortals to lean on.”

“I do. But I don’t want to cry over it.”

“You’re more than this job.”

She knew that. She had the list. Daughter. Sister. Granddaughter. “So I’ve been told. But could someone please tell me who I am?”

He smiled at her, an easy cowboy smile replacing the soft look of sympathy. He’d always had that easy charm.

“Mia, you have to figure out who you are without the job. I can tell you who I think you are. You are the strongest woman I know. You’re so strong, you’ve never seemed to need any of us. You plow through life taking on the world’s problems.”

“I’m not that strong.” She wasn’t—she just pretended, and somehow managed to convince herself.

BRENDA MINTON

started creating stories to entertain herself during hour-long rides on the school bus. In high school she wrote romance novels to entertain her friends. The dream grew and so did her aspirations to become an author. She started with notebooks, handwritten manuscripts and characters that refused to go away until their stories were told. Eventually she put away the pen and paper and got down to business with the computer. The journey took a few years, with some encouragement and rejection along the way—as well as a lot of stubbornness on her part. In 2006 her dream to write for Love Inspired Books came true. Brenda lives in the rural Ozarks with her husband, three kids and an abundance of cats and dogs. She enjoys a chaotic life that she wouldn’t trade for anything—

except, on occasion, a beach house in Texas. You can stop by and visit at her website, www.brendaminton.net.

The Cowboy Lawman

Brenda Minton

www.millsandboon.co.uk

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

—Romans 8:28

To my kids, because they remind me daily

that without them, I’d…have a clean house.

And be very lonely living in it.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Epilogue

Dear Reader

Questions for Discussion

Chapter One

Mia Cooper stood on her porch surveying the quiet landscape of Dawson, Oklahoma. Leaves were turning, the grass had long since dried from lack of rain, and the neighborhood kids had gone back to school weeks ago. She felt alone in the world.

It shouldn’t bother her. She knew how to handle loneliness. Even as a Cooper, surrounded by family, she had sometimes felt alone. She also knew how to adjust. She’d been told recently that her strongest skills were her ability to readjust or reinvent herself.

And her biggest detriment.

She just had to decide who she would be now that she was back in Dawson, at her mom’s insistence. Okay, she admitted she had been easy to convince. She’d been ready to come home. Her apartment in Tulsa had been too quiet, too private, even for her.

She adjusted the sling that kept her right arm close to her chest, swallowed another gulp of water and jogged down the steps. She could run. She could take to the streets of Dawson, smile and wave to neighbors who might be out. She could pretend that everything would be okay.

But Butch Walker was dead.

That would never change. Butch’s wife, Tina, would raise two children alone. Mia would forever remember his face as he went down. She would always live with shooting too late, with not being able to save him.

Her arm might ache. The possibility of not being able to go back to work hurt. But Butch gone—that hurt worse. She could take the pain of running.

She hit the pavement, taking it slow, breathing deep and easy as she lengthened her strides. She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and ignored the pain in her arm and shoulder.

Don’t ignore the pain, her doctor had warned her after surgery a month ago. How could she ignore it? It was a constant reminder.

A car came up behind her, and she stepped to the side of the road. Her heart jumped a few paces ahead as she glanced back to make sure it was someone she knew. In Dawson it was rare to see a stranger. Even people you didn’t know well weren’t considered strangers—they were just people you should get to know better.

Her brother, Jackson, pulled alongside her, the truck window sliding down. She kept running. The truck idled along next to her.

“Jogging, really?” He leaned a little, glanced at the empty country road ahead of them and then looked her way again.

“Yeah, I needed to get out. Alone.” She smiled, but it took effort.

“Right. You’ve never liked too many people in your business. But you have family. Mom has been trying to call you.”

She slowed to a fast walk. “I’ll call her.”

“Today. You can’t outrun this.”

The big brother in his voice shook her. She remembered a time when she’d been the older sister taking care of her biological siblings, making sure they ate, got dressed each day, survived. Her name then had been Mia Jimenez. And then her mother had died and she’d become the little sister, with people taking care of her. Mia Cooper. Reinvented at age seven.

She and her siblings had been separated.

“Mia, stop running.”

“I’ll call her.” She stopped and closed her eyes, his words sinking in. She’d always been running. Always running from life, from the past, from pain.

The truck stopped next to her. “Mia, you’re strong. You’re going to survive this.”

“I know.” She blinked quickly, surprised by the sting of tears. She should have stayed in Tulsa. But as much as her family suffocated her at times, she needed them. Her mom had brought her home on Monday.

“Want a ride home?”

She shook her head and somehow looked at him, smiling as if everything was fine. “No, I can make it.”

“Okay, but be safe.”

“I’m safe.”

He smiled, nodded and shifted to drive away. Mia stood on the side of the road in a world with nothing but fields, trees and the occasional cluster of grazing cattle. A light wind blew, the way wind blew in Oklahoma, and the air smelled of drying grass and blacktop.

Jackson’s truck turned a short distance ahead, but his words had opened the wound. Tears blurred her vision and her throat burned. She kept jogging. She kept pushing.

She brushed at the tears that continued to flow. It ached. It ached every minute of every day. Even in her dreams it hurt. She stopped running and looked up at the clear blue sky, at birds flying overhead.

“It hurts!” she yelled as loudly as she could. And then more quietly: “Make it stop. Make it all go away.”

There was no answer. Of course there wasn’t. God had stopped listening. For some reason He had ignored her when she pleaded for help, holding her hand on Butch’s chest, trying to stop the flow of blood, crying as she told him to hold on.

She closed her eyes and slowly sank to her knees in the grass on the shoulder of the road, not caring who came by, what people said about her. It didn’t matter. Why should it matter when she hadn’t been able to save her partner, her friend’s life?

A car pulled up behind her. She didn’t turn. She didn’t want to know who had found her like this.

A door shut. Footsteps crunched on the gravel shoulder of the road. She wiped a hand across her face and looked up at the person now standing in front of her, blocking the sun, leaving his face in shadows. He smiled a little but his dark gray eyes mirrored her sorrow. He held out a hand.

“It gets easier.” His voice was gruff but soft.

“Does it?” She didn’t think it would. Today it felt as if it would always hurt like this.

She took his hand.

“Yeah, it does. Is this your first cry?”

She nodded and the tears started again. His hand clasped her left hand. She stood and he pulled her close in an awkward embrace. His hand patted her back and then he stepped away, cleared his throat and looked past her.

“Let me give you a ride home.”

She noticed then that he was in his uniform. He’d been a county deputy for ten years. He’d been the second officer on the scene the night his wife died in a car accident.

“Thanks.” She walked back to his car. He opened the passenger-side door for her. Before getting in, she stared up at him, at a face she knew so well. She knew his gray eyes, the way his mouth was strong but turned often in an easy smile. She also knew his pain. “It feels like it might hurt forever.”

“I know.”

* * *

They made the trip back to Mia’s in silence. Slade McKennon glanced Mia’s way from time to time, but he didn’t push her to talk. Their situations were different, but he knew how hard it was to talk when the grief hit, when your throat felt so tight it hurt to take a breath. He knew how hard it was to make sense of it all.

He knew how angry you could get and how every time you opened your mouth, you wanted to yell at God or cry until you couldn’t cry any more.

He pulled into her driveway and they sat there a long time, just sitting, staring at her garage in front of them. Finally, she turned to face him, her eyes still watery, rimmed with red from crying. Her dark brown hair framed her face, her normally dark skin looked a shade or two paler.

Tall and slim, athletic, she’d always been an overachiever, the girl who thought she could do it all. And did. She’d been a star basketball player. She’d ridden barrels all the way to nationals, three times. She’d won the whole thing once.

Now she looked as broken as a person could get, but she still had fighter written all over her.

“Remember when Vicki used to tell you to just go ahead and cry?” He smiled as he remembered his wife, her best friend. That was what time did for a person—it made the memories easier, made smiling easier.

“Yeah, she used to do that. When I broke my ankle, sprained my wrist, had a concussion. Cry, she’d say.” She rubbed her hand over her face. “But it didn’t make sense to cry over it. Pain is an emotion.”

Instead of crying, Mia would just get mad. A defense mechanism he guessed from her tough childhood, pre-Coopers. She reached for the door of his patrol car. He knew he wouldn’t get much further with her, but he had to try.

“Mia, she would tell you to have faith.”

“Don’t.” She opened the door and looked back at him, one foot on the paved driveway. “Don’t give me the easy answers, the platitudes. It doesn’t help. I can pray. I can have faith. I can believe in God to do all things. But there is one thing that won’t happen.”

“I know.”

She closed her eyes and the tense lines of her face eased. She reached across the car for his hand and held it tight. “I know you do.”

“But I promise you, those words are more than platitudes. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but it is going to get easier.”

“Come in for a cup of coffee?”

Okay, she wanted to change the subject. He radioed in that he’d be out of his car but available on his cell phone. Dispatch responded and he pulled the keys out of the ignition. Yeah, he did that every single time.

Mia saw the keys go in his pocket and she laughed. With watery eyes and red streaks where tears had made trails down her cheeks, she laughed. He smiled and shrugged, he’d take the humiliation if it made her feel better.

“A guy only makes that mistake once.” He stepped out of his car.

“You know that Gage and Dylan did that to you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Her brothers had hidden his patrol car. He’d been a deputy for two months and those two brothers of hers had spotted his car at the Convenience Counts convenience store, keys in the ignition. He’d been inside grabbing a corn dog and when he walked out, his car was gone. After fifteen minutes of searching on foot, he’d had to radio it in to dispatch. A BOLO, “be on the lookout,” for a police car.

Reese Cooper had come along a short time later and told Slade his car was parked at the rodeo grounds. Slade and Reese found the car just as three patrol cars zoomed in.

For several years the other deputies had called him BOLO. They still liked to bring it up from time to time.

Mia met him on the sidewalk, her smile still in evidence.

“Nighttime is the worst,” she admitted as she walked up the steps to her front porch.

“I know.” He had to tell her why he’d come looking for her. And he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“I don’t drink coffee,” she said as she unlocked the door to her house.

He followed her through the living room to the kitchen. He hadn’t been inside her house before today. He didn’t know why. He guessed because Vicki and Mia had been best friends. But he and Mia had been friends, too. They’d grown up together. They’d trailered to rodeos together, a bunch of kids sleeping in the backs of trucks and trailers during those two-day events.

After Vicki’s death, he’d been wrapped up in making his life work, in being a dad to his infant son, and Mia had taken a job with a DEA drug task force that required undercover work.

He had to tell her why he was here.

In the kitchen she bent to pull a coffeemaker out of the cabinet. He reached to help her. She smiled a little and backed up, letting him put it on the counter.

“What are they saying about your arm?”

She ran the coffeemaker under warm water and then filled it with cold water. He plugged in the machine and stepped back as she did a decent job, left-handed, of pouring water into the reservoir and then fitting a filter into the holder.

“Well, it’s held together with a plate and screws. They did what they could for the damaged nerves.” She looked down at her splinted wrist and shrugged. “I can start physical therapy pretty soon.”

“What about your job?” He measured coffee into the filter and hit the power button. “Will you stay with the DEA?”

She walked away, to the window that overlooked her small yard and the two acres of field. He’d always wondered why she chose this place. She had her own land. Each of the Cooper kids had their own hundred acres.

“I don’t know about my job, Slade. The doctors say my right hand will suffer weakness because of the nerve damage.” She sighed and didn’t turn to face him. “I don’t know who I am without that job.”

“You’re still Mia Cooper.”

He moved a few steps and almost, almost put his hand on her shoulder, but he couldn’t. She was a friend. She’d been Vicki’s friend. She turned, smiling a sad smile.

“Slade, that’s the problem. Who is Mia Cooper? For the last few years I’ve been everyone but the person I thought I was. I’ve had to pretend to be someone I never wanted to be. I’ve had to forget myself.”

He watched the emotions play across her face, and when she seemed to be looking for herself, she was still Mia. She was still the little sister of Reese, Travis, Jackson, the list went on and on. They were all friends of his. She’d been the kid sister who didn’t want to stay at home with the girls. She’d wanted to do the overnight trail rides with the guys. She’d beaten them at basketball, caught bigger fish, ridden harder, played longer.

“You’re still Mia. You’re stronger than anyone I know. You’ll find yourself.”

“Stronger than you?” She smiled then, a real smile, a flash of white in a suntanned face. “I don’t think so. How’s Caleb?”

“He’s five now and going to preschool a few days a week. He’s a chip off the old block.”

“I’ll bet he is. I haven’t seen him in so long.”

“Stop by sometime.” He let the words slip out, easy because she was a friend.

“Yeah, I will.”

“You’ve said that before. It would be good for him to know you.”

“I want to know him, too.”

“I have to go pretty soon.” He continued to watch her, slim shoulders straight. She nodded but didn’t turn around.

“I’m good.” She answered the question he hadn’t yet asked.

“No, you aren’t. But I’ll let you pretend you are.” Now he had to tell her the real reason he’d come looking for her. “Mia, Nolan Jacobs was released from jail last night.”

She stood there, not saying a word.

“Mia?”

“I heard you.” She faced him, anger flashing in her dark eyes. “What does that mean? He bonded out?”

“I guess so. And the charges have been reduced.”

“No. Butch and I covered all our bases. We spent six months living that filthy life, away from our families, pretending to be people we weren’t. But he had a way out the whole time. That’s how he made us, through an inside source.”

“They aren’t going to drop this. They won’t let you guys down that way.”

She leaned against the counter, nearly as tall as he was. She held her right arm and turned to stare out the window for a long minute. Finally, she looked at him.

“What about Butch’s wife? Does she know?”

“They’re going to tell her.” He considered letting it go, but he couldn’t. “Mia, it would be best if you went and stayed with your folks for a while. At least until they find a way to bring this guy down.”

“That could take a year. It could take two years. I’m not going to live in fear of him, Slade. I’m staying right here in my house. I’m not going to let him win.”

She turned and poured coffee into a thermal mug. She handed it to him.

“Thanks.” Coffee. It made it seem as if nothing had happened, they weren’t talking life and death. They were friends catching up on the news.

“You’re welcome.”

“And you know I’m going to be out here on patrol. Wherever that money is that went missing, someone is going to be looking for it.”

“You’re going to be watching my house? Please don’t. I’ll feel compelled to feed you and you know I can only cook enchiladas and boxed hamburger meals.” She looked down at her arm. “And I can’t even cook those right now.”

“Maybe I can cook for you.” The words slipped out and hung between them.

“Slade...”

He raised a hand to stop her objections. “Friends, Mia, that’s what we’ve always been.”

She gave him a curt nod. “Be safe out there, Slade.”

“I’m always safe.”

She walked with him to the front door. “Yes, I know you are. But I thought we were safe, too. I thought Butch and I would have each other’s backs. I thought we’d always be able to save each other.”

“You couldn’t have known that you’d been made.”

“I know.” She stood in the front door as he got ready to leave. “Slade, what if I should have known? I keep going over it again and again in my mind, wondering if I saw something that should have given it away.”

“Don’t. I know that it’s easy to second-guess, but it won’t change anything.”

Slade had done it, too. He’d thought about it over and over, if he should have known what would happen that night to Vicki. He couldn’t have known. He’d never seen it coming. But for a couple of years he’d beaten himself up, thinking he should have told her not to drive that night. He should have known there were storms coming.

He should have done something.

For a long minute he stood on Mia’s front porch, thinking back. Yes, he knew how Mia felt. He knew the questions she’d been asking herself since the shooting. It took him by surprise when Mia leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“It was an accident.”

He touched her arm and smiled down at her. “I know. And I’m asking you to be careful.”

“I will.”

“Will you be in church Sunday?”

She sighed and shook her head. “So I can yell at God in public? No, I think yelling at Him on the side of the road is enough for one week.”

He nodded, because he got it. “If you need anything, call me.”

“I’m sure you won’t be far away.”

“No, I won’t.”

He walked down the sidewalk to his car, pulling the keys out of his pocket as he went. He glanced back one last time before getting behind the wheel. Mia still stood in the doorway. She wouldn’t cry again. He knew Mia. She would walk it off. Or jog it off. And unless people who cared pushed, she wouldn’t talk about how much it hurt.

Her family would do that for her. They would push her to talk. And he’d patrol and make sure she stayed safe.

Chapter Two

By Saturday Mia was going stir-crazy. She needed to get out of the house. She needed information and no one had it. And she had definitely tried to get it. She’d called the DEA field office in Tulsa asking questions. Her supervisor had eventually called her back and told her to put her energy into getting better—he’d be the one finding out how Nolan Jacobs had gotten away with murdering one of their agents. Maybe Jacobs hadn’t pulled the trigger, but he’d been there. The order to kill had come from him.

She sat at the kitchen table, her laptop in front of her, her cell phone on vibrate. Who had sold them out? She started with a list of people who had been in on their assignment, one that had kept her on the outskirts of Oklahoma City for months when she would have preferred to be anywhere else.

They had lived in a roach-infested apartment, she and Butch. One bedroom, but he’d slept on the couch while they pretended to be husband and wife, small-time dealers wanting in on the big-time. When she left that apartment she’d left behind the clothes, the shoes, the makeup that Maria Vargas, her other identity, had worn.

Maria would have made Mia’s mom, Angie Cooper, blush. Maria had made Mia blush a few times. She shook her head, remembering the role she’d played. While in character, she’d looked for family who had lived in Oklahoma City. She’d searched bars and parties for a man who might have been her father. A man with no name but perhaps a tattoo with her mother’s name, or even hers.

She’d looked for Breezy and hoped, of all the people she searched for, she wouldn’t see her little sister in the crowd, thin from using, near death. She’d never spotted her sibling.

Without really thinking, she went online and put in the last known name of her little sister. Breezy Hernandez. They’d all had different fathers; Mia Jimenez, Juan Lopez and Breezy Hernandez. Juan was in jail for armed robbery and distribution of a controlled substance.

Breezy was the mystery. They’d given her to her paternal grandmother. Angie had learned that much all those years ago. But where they’d gone to—that was the big question. Breezy had disappeared.

The clock in the living room chimed the noon hour. Mia looked at the web page she’d brought up. More dead ends. She closed down her computer and walked to the fridge, to stare again at contents that did nothing for her. She hadn’t been hungry in forever.

Because of the burning question: Who had ratted them out? Who had given away information on other law enforcement officers? Who had taken the money and how had they framed Butch?

She closed the fridge and walked through the house. At the front door, she slipped her feet into flip-flops and shoved money into her pocket. If she didn’t have anything good for lunch, Vera at the Mad Cow Café would.

A patrol car eased past her house as she walked out the door. They had all the tact and finesse of boys cruising around on Friday night. Everyone knew what they were up to. And anyone watching Mia would know that the deputies cruised past her house every hour or so. But they cared. They were trying to protect her. In Tulsa they were doing the same for Butch’s wife, Tina.

If Nolan came after her, though, he’d know their routine. He’d know their cars. He’d catch her when everyone least expected it.

September air, cool and filled with the scent of drying grass and flowers, greeted her as she walked down the steps of her front porch. The fresh air pulled her back to the present and out of the dark thoughts that had plagued her all morning.

She waved at Mrs. Lucas across the street, one of the few neighbors on this end of Dawson Avenue. Avenue was a little overstated. The road led from the feed store to nowhere. There were a total of five houses, most with land. Mr. Gordon raised a few calves. Taylor Green raised sheep. Mrs. Lucas seemed to raise cats, and lots of them.

The cats could usually be found sunning themselves on her porch, and sometimes they moved across the street to Mia’s. Mia had never been fond of cats. But she did like Mrs. Lucas, so she didn’t complain. As long as the cats didn’t bother the birds Mia fed.

It was a short, five-minute walk to the Mad Cow. Mia took it easy, having learned her lesson from her jogging adventure a few days ago. Her arm had ached all night after that little escapade. She’d called her doctor and he’d lectured her about the damage she could have done. Lesson learned.

The parking lot of the Mad Cow was packed with farm trucks, cars and even a couple of tractors.

Mia walked up the sidewalk of the black-and-white-spotted building and someone opened the front door. She smiled at one of the local farmers and he pushed the door wide for her to enter.

“Mia Cooper, been a long time since you was in town. How’s that arm doing?” The farmer, Ben, toothpick in the corner of his mouth, smiled and let the door close with both of them inside.

“I’m good.” Mia glanced around the crowded diner. She regretted the impulsive decision to come here at noon. People were looking her way. A few whispered.

“Guess you’ll be around, getting better after that fall?”

She smiled and didn’t correct him on the assumption that she’d fallen. For years people thought she worked at an office in Tulsa and sometimes traveled.

“I’ll be around for a while.”

Ben pulled the toothpick from his mouth. “You ever think about doing a barrel-racing clinic? I’ve got a girl who would love to ride. Jackson even has a horse she’s interested in. Trouble is, I ain’t never been much of a hand with horses.”

Barrel-racing clinic?

“Well, I haven’t ever thought about it, Ben.”

“Well, if you do, you let me know. I can’t think of anyone better than a national champion to teach the girls around here.”

“Thanks, I’ll keep you posted.”

The toothpick went back in Ben’s mouth, as the conversation seemed to be over. Mia glanced around the crowded restaurant with the black-and-white-tile floors, old Formica-topped tables and booths with seats covered in black vinyl that always got hot and stuck to the back of a person’s legs. She loved this place. She remembered the first time she came here with the Coopers. It had been on a Sunday after church.

On that Sunday so long ago, for the first time in her life she hadn’t been hungry. That was a memory. She hadn’t been the one in charge of making sure everyone ate. She’d sat at the table between Jackson and Reese. Heather had been across from her, smiling, trying to get her to smile. She’d eaten fried chicken. Vera had given her ice cream.

She remembered being afraid that it would all end, that the state would come looking for her and drag her back to her old house. She remembered worrying that wherever Juan and Breezy were, they might not be getting fed, because she wasn’t there to care for them.

“Sis, over here.” She glanced to the back corner and spotted Jackson and Travis. And Slade McKennon.

Just like old times. But not.

She walked to their booth and Jackson pointed at the seat next to Slade. He scooted and she sat down next to him. His arm brushed hers as he lifted his glass of tea. She reached past him for a menu.

He smelled good. Soap and something like a scent of the Orient tangled up in the mountains of Colorado. She didn’t linger but opened the menu and studied a list she’d seen too many times in her life.

“Ben ask you to teach his girl?” Jackson asked, pushing his glass of tea for the waitress to refill.

Travis moved his glass in the same direction. The waitress, a pretty girl with a big smile and blond hair streaked with pink, smiled at Slade. He didn’t seem to notice.

“Yes. A barrel-racing clinic? I don’t know where he got an idea like that.” Mia happened to look up from her menu and her gaze connected with her brother Travis’s. And he happened to look quickly at Jackson before taking a bite of biscuits and gravy.

Mia shook her head and refocused from the biscuits covered in sausage gravy to Jackson and his obviously guilty look.

“You did this?” She put her menu down and glared at Jackson.

He shrugged. “You might as well.”

“Really? Why is it that I might as well? I do have a job.”

“You’re not going to be working for a while. There’s a need. You’re just about the best.”

She arched her brows at him and smiled. “Just about?”

“You are the best,” he corrected. “Slade, what do you think?”

“I think I don’t have a dog in this fight and it’s a lot safer that way.”

Mia glanced his way, avoiding looking too deep into his gray eyes. She ignored yesterday’s five o’clock shadow on the smooth plane of his cheeks. He looked tired.

“Late night?” She looked back to the menu after asking the question.

“Yeah. And an early morning. My mom hasn’t been feeling too hot and she won’t go to the doctor.”

Mia smiled. “That McKennon family stubbornness.”

“I guess.”

Travis let his fork drop noisily on his plate. “I should get back to the house.”

“How’s Elizabeth.”

“Pregnant?”

“I know that.” Mia smiled up at the waitress. “Pueblo salad with ranch. Water to drink.”

“Okay.” The waitress smiled at Slade again. “You all done with that?”

He passed her his empty plate. Travis held his up and the waitress ignored him and walked off. Mia snorted a laugh and looked at Slade.

“So, is the waitress a friend of yours?” She regretted the question as soon it left her mouth. Talk about testy. She would blame it on lack of sleep.

“No, she isn’t.” Slade shook his head. “Seriously, Mia, she’s barely twenty.”

“Right. It’s none of my business.”

Jackson made a big deal of looking at his watch. “I should go.”

Travis slid out after him. “Me, too. I ordered Elizabeth a salad to go and chocolate pie. She’s been eating chocolate pie like crazy.”

“Tell her to call if she needs anything.” Mia reached her hand up and her brother enclosed it in his for a moment. “I can’t wait to hold that baby girl.”

“I’ll pass on the message and if you want to come out and visit, I’ll pick you up.”

“Thanks, Trav.” She smiled past him to Jackson. “And you, I will deal with you later.”

Jackson shrugged it off. “You’ll thank me later.”

After they were gone, she moved to the other side of the booth. Sitting next to Slade while her brothers were there was not a conversation starter. If she stayed next to Slade, the whole town would be talking and speculating.

The swinging doors that led to the kitchen opened. Vera walked out, her dark hair pulled back in a tight bun that looked severe but the smile on Vera’s face softened things up.

“Mia Cooper. Honey, I have been praying for you and thinking about you. How’d you like that peanut butter pie I made for you?”

“It was amazing, as always. Mom stayed and had a piece with me.”

Vera sat down next to Slade. “Girl, it is so good to see you back. Did you walk down here?”

“It isn’t far, Vera.”

“Well, no, it isn’t. But when you get ready to leave, you holler and I’ll bet someone will drive you home. Slade can give you a lift if he’s still here.”

“I need the exercise.” Mia avoided looking at Slade. The waitress had reappeared with a salad topped with grilled chicken, peppers, onions and mushrooms. “That looks great.”

“Well, of course it is.” Vera cleared her throat. “Do you need any help?”

Mia looked down at the salad, at the fork, at Vera. “No, I’m good.”

“Well, I’ll let you two catch up and remember to let me know if you need a ride.” Vera scooted out of the booth. “Real good to have you home, honey.”

Mia smiled and Vera left.

“I don’t mind giving you a ride home.” Slade leaned back and watched her. He wore a button-up shirt, short-sleeved and dark red. Obviously he wasn’t on duty. It deepened his tan. It made his gray eyes look silver.

“I know you don’t. I really do enjoy the walk. I think a half a dozen cats followed me to town.”

He smiled, teeth flashing white in his suntanned face. “I heard they discussed the cat issue at a city council meeting.”

“She loves those cats, and if the neighbors aren’t complaining, why should anyone else?”

Slade shrugged. “There are a lot of them.”

“I guess.” She took an awkward bite of salad. “This lefty business isn’t easy.”

No way would she tell him she’d spent the morning loading and unloading her weapon with her left hand. She’d considered taking it out to the ranch for target practice. Just in case.

“Do you need me to cut it up in smaller pieces?”

Her cheeks heated a little and she shook her head. “I’m good.”

* * *

Slade knew when to be quiet. People either needed the silence or they would fill it up because they needed to talk. Mia ate and ignored him. She knew how to use silence, too. As she ate, he glanced at his watch. He had to pick Caleb up at a friend’s house in an hour.

“Go.” Mia put her fork down.

“What?”

“You’ve looked at your watch three times. You’re not my keeper. They told you to drive by my house when you’re on patrol. They didn’t charge you with babysitting.”

“I’m not babysitting.” He leaned forward a little, lowering his voice. “I’m sitting with a friend while she finishes eating.”

“You’re starting rumors by sitting here.” Mia pushed the plate to the side. “Five years, Slade. You haven’t dated in five years. They’re all thinking it’s about time you did.”

“I date. And I don’t care if they talk. It’s Dawson, that’s what we do.”

“Right.” She reached and tugged at the sling that held her right arm, grimacing. “I hate this thing.”

“I know.” He reached for the cowboy hat sitting on the back of the booth. It was time to go. He looked around. The waitress hurried their way, pulling out her order pad.

“You all ready to go?” She smiled at him and Slade ignored the foot that kicked his under the table.

“We’re all ready. And I’m buying Mia’s lunch, too. She’s a great date, don’t you think?”

“It isn’t...”

He stopped Mia’s protest. “It isn’t our first date.”

The waitress turned pink and handed him the two checks. “There you go, Slade. You all need anything else?”

“No, that’s good.” He slid out of the booth and waited for Mia to join him. “I’ll give you a ride home.”

Mia stood. “You’re real funny.”

“You’re the one who said I need to start dating. Now if anyone in town is thinking it’s time, they’ll be satisfied to think that you’re the one I’m dating.” He winked and a streak of red crawled up her neck. Embarrassed or mad? He guessed he’d find out.

When they walked out the door of the Mad Cow, she slugged his arm. “That’s great. I tell you not to start rumors, so you go ahead and start the biggest one you can think of.”

Slade led her to his truck. He opened the passenger-side door and turned to face her. “I date.”

“Fine, you date.” She had that mad look on her face—one brow shot up as her eyes narrowed. “But you don’t date me. That’s not the way it works.”

“She’s been gone five years, Mia.” His heart still ached when he said it. Man, five years. Caleb was in kindergarten. Slade had a few gray hairs. He’d bought new furniture, finally.

They stood behind the open door of the truck. Mia’s eyes watered and she touched his cheek. A snowstorm at that very moment couldn’t have surprised him more. It surprised him for a lot of reasons he didn’t really want to think about.

“I still miss her,” she whispered, leaning close.

“I do, too.”

“She would have wanted you to move on.” Mia’s hand slid off his cheek. “I’m home now, so I can watch Caleb if you want to go out.”

“Thanks.” He cleared his throat and tried not to think about her offer. “We’d better go. I have to pick Caleb up in thirty minutes.”

“Sure, okay.”

She climbed in. He pulled the seat belt around her and buckled it. He knew that she held her breath as the buckle clicked. He was also aware of her breath soft on his neck, and the fresh-washed scent of her clothes.

He stepped back.

“Thank you.” She gave him a gentle smile and he closed the truck door.

They drove to her house in silence.

“If you want to go to church tomorrow, I can pick you up.” He offered as they pulled into her drive and parked.

She didn’t answer right away. He shouldn’t have offered. If people saw them showing up to church together, the rumors would definitely fly. He figured she had to be thinking the same thing.

“I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure if you want me to pick you up or if you’re ready to go?”

“Both.” She reached for the door handle. “It isn’t easy, being this angry. I’m afraid I’ll go to church and the message will be directed at me, telling me to forgive myself, forgive God. Or, worse, forgive Nolan Jacobs.”

“That’s a whole lot of forgiving.”

She sighed and the door opened a few inches. “I’m going to find the leak.”

“I figure you probably will. But don’t get yourself hurt.”

“Little late for that.” She stepped out of the truck.

Slade followed her to the front door. She stuck her key in the lock and turned the knob. As she pushed the door open she turned to face him.

“I’m going in with you.” He reached past her and pushed the door the rest of the way open.

“Slade, Nolan Jacobs is a free man. Do you really think he’s going to show up here and ruin that for himself?”

“He might, if he thinks you have information that could put him back in jail. Or if he thinks you have that money.”

She stood in the doorway, blocking his entrance. “I’m good, Slade. You have to go.”

“Right.” He backed away from the door. “Mia, be careful.”

“I will. And you be careful, too.” She gave him an easy smile, the way she used to.

He wished they could go back in time, just for a little while, and remember what it was like to be young and think the world couldn’t hurt them.

She’d be tough, a fighter who rode hard and played hard.

He’d be the guy in love with Vicki, knowing they would be together forever.

Instead they were facing each other as if those other people were strangers, that other life a dream. And dangerous thoughts were going through his mind. The most dangerous of all—what would it be like to kiss Mia Cooper?

In all the years growing up together, they’d never kissed. Not even when they played Truth or Dare. He figured if he ever tried, she’d knock him down.

He’d been Reese’s best friend. She’d been Vicki’s best friend.

Now they were both alone. He didn’t know what that meant but he couldn’t let the thought go. Fifteen minutes later when he stopped at the house where Caleb had spent the night and he saw his son running out to greet him, the thought was still there.

He got out of the truck and met Caleb at the edge of the Martins’s drive. Mrs. Martin came out to tell him the boys had had a great time. Slade thanked her and picked up his son to put him in the backseat of his truck.

“Dad, I missed you.”

“Missed you, too, Cay.”

For some crazy reason, “missing” made him think of Mia again. He hadn’t realized until she came home that he had missed her.

Chapter Three

The doorbell chimed early Sunday morning. Not exactly sunrise, but Mia hadn’t been up long. She had a cup of tea, her computer and a shady spot on the back patio. No one would bother her on Sunday morning.

She left her tea and headed back inside through the house. Before opening the door, she peeked out. She didn’t know whether to be relieved when she saw the familiar car in the drive or run for cover.

A face peered in the window at her and she jumped back. Granny Myrna waved and then laughed.

“Open up, Sugar. I need a cup of coffee,” Granny Myrna yelled through the window and Mia nodded.

She clicked the dead bolt, turned the lock and opened the door.

“You’ve got this place locked up tighter than Fort Knox. My goodness.” Her grandmother pulled off white lacy gloves and her Sunday hat. “I ran out of coffee and since you’re the only Cooper smart enough to live in town, I thought I’d come over here and bug you for a cup.”

“You also know that I don’t drink coffee.” Mia hugged her grandmother, slipping an arm around her waist as they walked to the kitchen.

“Well, I do know you have a coffeepot and I’m willing to bet you keep some coffee in the house.”

“I do have coffee.”

“Well, then, I’ll just make a pot real quick and how about some breakfast?”

“Gran, you don’t have to cook for me. I had yogurt.”

“That isn’t enough to keep a bird alive. No wonder you’re so thin.”

“I’m fine.”

They reached the kitchen, and Mia’s grandmother had coffee going in a matter of minutes.

“I already feel better just smelling the coffee.” Granny Myrna gave her the once-over. “You’re not dressed for church.”

“No, I’m not.”

“And why is that?”

Mia glanced away from her grandmother’s piercing look, the look that always saw far more than the average person.

“Gran, I’m not ready to go. I can’t fix my hair or put on makeup. I can’t...”

“Face your pain?” Granny Myrna got right to the heart of things, the way she always did.

“I’m not sure.”

“Of course, you are. You know that you’re angry. You know that you’re hurt. You called out to God and you think he didn’t answer. That’s understandable. What isn’t understandable to me is how the strongest young woman I know could sit in this house and give up.”

“I haven’t given up.”

“No?”

“No.” Mia pushed the coffeepot because it was tilted on the heating element and about to spill out over the lid. “I’m not hiding. I’m just trying to get my head on straight.”

“I know that I can’t convince you that God was there that night, Mia, but He was. He didn’t leave you or ignore you. It just feels that way right now. You might never know why things happened the way they did. You might always feel a little angry, a little confused. But God can get you through the anger, too.”

“I love you, Gran.”

“Of course you do. I’m very easy to love. And I’m almost always right. Now don’t tell people I confessed to the ‘almost’ part. I’m just sharing that with you, and I’ll deny it if you tell anyone.”

“I won’t tell a soul.”

“Then come to church with me. You can take your anger there. It’s safe. And you might find a little peace to go with the anger.”

“You’re pushy.”

“It’s one of the perks of being eighty-five. And we have plenty of time. I’ll have coffee, you drink that nasty tea of yours and then I’ll help you get ready.”

Mia leaned to kiss her grandmother’s softly wrinkled cheek. “I am so glad you’re my grandmother.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so very glad you’re my granddaughter. And by the way, now that you’re home for a little while, maybe you can do something about Slade McKennon.”

“Why?”

“He’s far too good-looking to be eating alone at the Mad Cow. Don’t you think?”

“I’ll try to think of someone to fix him up with.” She smiled as she wiped up the counter. She knew that wasn’t what her grandmother meant, but it was all she could handle right now.

“You would want him to date someone else?”

“Gran, Slade is my friend—nothing more.” She thought about his hand on hers, and the memory took her by surprise. She and Slade had always been just friends. They’d shared a childhood, shared memories, shared grief.

The thought of anything more with Slade... She shook her head. Slade belonged to Vicki.

She led her grandmother to the patio and the two of them sat down. The sun had climbed higher and their shade wouldn’t last much longer. Mia closed her computer to keep her grandmother from seeing too much. Not that Mia had found anything. Breezy didn’t seem to exist.

What if something had happened to her sister? What if...

She picked up her cup and took a drink of the now-tepid tea. The thought that Breezy might be gone, perhaps had been gone for years without Mia knowing, continued to haunt her.

“Mia?”

She opened her eyes and smiled at her grandmother. The confession slipped out. “I’m searching for my sister.”

Granny Myrna set her coffee down with a thunk, slopping the brown liquid over the edge of the cup onto the table.

“Well, that wasn’t what I expected.”

Mia half smiled. “I know. I’ve tried over the years but now that I have plenty of time, I’m really digging.”

“But not finding her?”

“No.”

“You will. You’re the best detective I know.”

“Do you know a lot of detectives, Gran?”

“Well, not many, but you’re the best.” Her grandmother glanced at the delicate watch that had been her eightieth-birthday present from Tim and Angie Cooper. “We need to get you ready to go.”

Mia looked down at her sweats and the T-shirt she’d pulled on that morning. “This doesn’t work for you?”

“Let’s see if we can’t find a skirt to pull on with that shirt and not the sweatpants that I think you wore for gym class a dozen years ago.”

“They’re comfy.”

“They do look comfy, but no.” Granny Myrna stood and gathered up their cups. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Mia left the house fifteen minutes later looking what her grandmother called “presentable” in a peasant skirt, flip-flops and the dark red T-shirt she’d put on that morning. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and Granny Myrna had even done a decent job with lip gloss and mascara.

When they pulled into the church parking lot, Mia felt a sense of coming home mixed with a healthy dose of nerves. She looked up at the steeple and thought about all the angry words she’d screamed the night Butch died in her arms. She thought about bargains she’d made, bargains that God had ignored.

“Time to go in.” Her grandmother pulled the keys out of the ignition. “All to Jesus, I surrender.”

Mia gathered her purse and Bible. “Even anger?”

“Even anger.”

They walked up the steps of the church, her grandmother holding the rail. Mia slowed her steps, realizing with an ache that her granny didn’t move as quickly as she used to. In the spring she’d even had a few ministrokes.

At the top of the steps stood Slade McKennon and his little boy, Caleb. She smiled at the five-year-old boy with the blond hair because it was easier to look at him than at his father. Caleb, Vicki’s baby.

She remembered holding him at Vicki’s funeral, cuddling him close. When she looked up from Caleb to meet Slade’s gray eyes, she knew that he’d gone back in time, too. He managed a smile. Hers was slower to return.

“Good to see you here.”

“Thank you.” She looked past him into the church. “It’s good to be here.”

Behind her, Granny Myrna prodded her forward. “Slade and Caleb are going to ring the bell. We need to find a seat.”

Find a seat? Mia smiled at that. The Coopers sat on the second pew from the front. It wasn’t their pew. If visitors showed up, the Cooper clan moved. But most of the time, you’d find them there, sitting together. A few of the kids missed church from time to time. Heather went to church in Grove. She liked the anonymity of going to a big church. Blake Cooper, second to the oldest of the kids, sometimes had business that kept him out of town.

Gage and Dylan traveled a lot, bull riding or providing livestock for rodeos and bull rides. Bryan, the youngest brother, was in South America on a mission trip.

Mia called it his “guilt trip.” He had made a mistake, like so many other kids, and now he felt he had to pay for it.

Caleb reached for her hand as she eased past father and son. “Do you know I’m in school now?”

She smiled down at him. “I heard that. Do you like it?”

Vicki had always wanted half a dozen kids. Caleb should have been one of many. Mia had always groaned at the idea of six kids. She’d grown up as a Cooper, surrounded by siblings.

Caleb nodded. “We’re having a class party and the moms are bringing cupcakes.”

“That’s going to be great.” Mia looked up from the little boy to his dad.

“Let Mia go, Caleb. We’ll talk to her later.”

Caleb released her hand. Mia knelt next to him and wrapped her left arm around him in a quick hug. “I think I know how to make cupcakes.”

He smiled at that but Slade cleared his throat. “We’ve got it covered.”

Mia got it. Slade didn’t want her that involved in his life. She stood and followed her grandmother down the aisle to the second pew from the front.

* * *

Slade watched Mia walk down the aisle toward the front of the church. He didn’t know why it hurt him so much to watch her with Caleb. He guessed because it had hurt five years ago when she sat behind him at Vicki’s funeral, holding their baby boy. But today was different. Today something else had happened when he saw her hug his son. This was a different kind of ache.

It took him by surprise and he stood there for a full minute trying to make sense of it. A hand reached for his and pulled hard.

He looked down at Caleb and smiled.

“You going to hand me that rope?” Caleb stood steady in his new boots and his best shirt.

“I sure am.” Slade unhooked the rope from the hook on the wall and handed it to his son. “Ring the bell, Caleb.”

Caleb pulled hard, swinging a little on the rope and then pulled again. The sound of the ringing bell filled the Sunday-morning silence. It was a constant, that bell. It ranked with Sunday lunch, good friends, Vera’s fried chicken and weekends at the rodeo.

After Caleb finished ringing the bell, Slade followed his son down the aisle to the empty spaces they’d left behind the Coopers. Slade’s mom hadn’t shown up yet. He glanced at his watch. She was never late. Caleb slid into the pew and Slade sat next to him. He glanced at his watch and then at his silenced phone.

In front of him Mia reached to smooth her dark hair. He watched as she settled nervously, waiting for the service to start. He remembered the day he returned to church. It took him a month, maybe six weeks after Vicki’s accident. Looking back, he shouldn’t have waited. He’d avoided the place and people he had needed most.

His mom had tried to tell him that. He hadn’t wanted to listen. Now, with Caleb next to him, he realized they had survived. It still hurt, but they were making it. They were good, the two of them.

Lately his mom had been telling him that no one could take Vicki’s place, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find room in his heart for love. Caleb squirmed next to him, digging in his pocket for something, distracting Slade from uncomfortable thoughts. He looked down at his son, frowning as the kid pulled something from his pocket.

No way. He shook his head at the half-eaten piece of taffy. It had lint stuck to it and probably bacteria that would light up a microscope. Caleb gave the candy a wistful look and handed it over. Now what in the world was he supposed to do with it? Slade sighed and fisted the candy. A tissue got tossed over his shoulder. He smiled back at Ryder Johnson and his wife, Andie. She grinned and blew a kiss at Caleb. Their twin girls were in the church nursery.

Life in Dawson was changing. Slade had come to terms with the reality that he and his friends were now the adults in town and there were new kids sitting on the tailgates of trucks parked at the local convenience store.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He ignored it the first time. It rang again. A slow, bad feeling slid into his chest. He put a finger to his lips to silence Caleb and pointed for him to stay. He reached up, tapping Miss Myrna Cooper on the shoulder. When she turned he showed her his phone and pointed to Caleb. She nodded.

The congregation started to sing and Slade hurried down the aisle to the doors. His phone was ringing a fourth time as he stepped outside.

“Slade McKennon.”

“Slade, it’s Janie, on the ambulance. Hon, we’ve got your mom here. She’s having chest pains. We’re going to head for Grove Hospital if you want to meet us there.”

The tightness that had grabbed hold of him when the phone rang twisted a little tighter. “I’ll be right there.”

“Now, Slade, your mom says for you not to drive like a maniac. She’s fine. I agree with her. Don’t rush. She’s going to be in the E.R. and getting good care, so you take it easy.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll take it easy. Tell her I’m going to find someone to watch Caleb and I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Janie laughed a little. “Your mom said it better take you longer than twenty minutes.”

He slid the phone back into his pocket and stepped back into the church, where he nearly bumped into Mia Cooper. She wasn’t smiling.

“What’s up?”

He slid a hand across her back and followed her back outside. “They’re taking my mom to the E.R. She’s having chest pains. I need to make arrangements for Caleb and go.”

“Do you want me to take care of Caleb or go with you?”

“Mia, you don’t have to...”

She cut him off with a glare. “I’m either taking care of that little boy or I’m going with you. It’s your choice which one I do.”

“Can you watch Caleb?” He looked away, just for a minute, needing to ground himself.

“I think I can manage one five-year-old boy, Slade.”

“I know you can.” He glanced at his watch. “I’ll call you later.”

“That’s good. And Slade, I’ll pray for her.”

It took him by surprise, the softness in her voice, in her expression. It drew him in and he leaned to kiss her cheek. “Thank you.”

She blinked a few times, then let it go. “Call me when you know something.”

“I will. Tell Caleb his grandma is good. She even told me not to drive fast. He doesn’t need to worry.”

“I’ll tell him.”

She slipped back inside the church, closing the door softly behind her. Slade stood there, staring at the double doors for a few seconds before he turned and hurried down the steps and across the parking lot toward his truck. His better self took control, not letting him think too much about Mia and the decision to leave his son in her care.

As he pulled out of the parking lot, his mind was fully planted on his mom and her health. Anything could happen. In the blink of an eye, the world could change. He’d experienced it. His mom had, too. Ten years ago when they lost his dad to cancer.

The roads were quiet. A typical Sunday morning in Dawson. Most people were in church. There were only a couple of cars at Vera’s. He drove out of town, speeding up as he left the city limits behind. He hit his emergency flashers and punched the gas, forgetting the twenty-minute rule his mom had set.

He had kissed Mia on the cheek. He shook his head and called himself a few names because kissing Mia had always been off-limits. He’d always been okay with that rule. What had changed?

Chapter Four

After church, and after making a few excuses to avoid lunch at Cooper Creek Ranch, Mia led Caleb across the parking lot to her grandmother’s car. The child held tight to her left hand. His feet dragged.

“You know, it’s easier to walk if you lift your feet.”

“Is my grandma okay?” He looked up from the blacktop he’d been studying. His blue eyes narrowed on her as he waited for an answer.

“She’s going to be just fine. She’s at the hospital and they’ll give her medicine to help her heart.”

“Is it attacking her?”

She hid a smile at the image he probably had in his mind.

“It’s hurting.”

“I’m going to your house?” He looked down again. She got it. He barely knew her. A few visits over the years wasn’t a lot.

She sighed and then squatted in front of him to put herself at eye level. “Caleb, your grandma is okay and your dad is going to pick you up at my house. We’ll hang out together and maybe we can convince your dad to bring pizza later.”

“Do you have toys?”

She grinned. “I have a few trucks that my nieces and nephews play with at my house.”

“Girls play with trucks?” He wrinkled his nose.

“Yeah, they do.”

“Okay.” He looked up and grinned, but not at her. “Hi, Jackson.”

She glanced back and then up, frowning at her brother. “I’m going with Gran.”

He raised his hands in surrender. “I know and I wasn’t going to try to talk you into going to the house. I wanted to see if I could keep a mare at your place.”

“A mare? Because you don’t have room for one more?” They both knew that wasn’t the case. She held out a hand and Jackson pulled her to her feet.

“I picked her up from a place north of Grove. The owners lost their farm and went to Tulsa. She’s been in a corral for a few weeks and needs to be stabled and have some weight put on her.”

A broken horse to fix. She knew this game. When she’d first moved to Cooper Creek twenty years ago, she’d been given a sick goat to care for. She had kept that goat for years. That goat, crazy as it seemed, had probably saved her life.

“Jackson, I don’t need a project.”

His eyes widened. “Who said it was a project?”

“I know you too well. You’re the guy who led me out to the barn and told me that the sick goat wouldn’t live if someone didn’t take care of it.”

“It lived, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, it did.” And so had she.

She remembered her mother lying on the floor, OD’d, and police moving through the house. She’d hidden her siblings under a bed because it had always been her job to protect them. She shivered even with the warmth of the sun pouring down on her.

“Mia?”

“Bring it by tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” Jackson ruffled Caleb’s hair. “Later, buddy. Don’t let Mia get you into trouble.”

The little boy looked up at Jackson and grinned big, probably thinking trouble sounded like fun.

Her grandmother finally joined them, looking a little spacey, smiling like a woman with a secret. And Mia knew that it had to do with an old farmer named Winston. Her grandmother, at eighty-five, was in love.

Love? Mia shook her head as she opened the back door of the sedan for Caleb to climb in. Love wasn’t her thing. She’d tried it once, but the man in question hadn’t been able to handle a woman in law enforcement with a gun and better aim than him.

Not that she had a career now. It still didn’t mean she wanted romance with flowers and moonlit walks. No, that wasn’t her cup of tea. She’d never really dated. In high school she preferred the easy camaraderie of her brothers and their friends to the complicated relationships her friends seemed to seek out.

She slid into the front seat of the car and glanced back at Caleb. His attention was focused on the window, but she saw worry reflected in his eyes. Stoic. She got it. She knew how it worked. If you didn’t talk about it, it didn’t hurt. Or so she’d always tried to convince herself.

“What do you want for lunch?” she asked and he turned from the window to face her.

“I like peanut butter.”

“That sounds good. I like mine grilled with strawberry jam. Have you ever had grilled peanut butter and jelly?”

“That sounds gross.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I guess it does. But it tastes good.”

He turned back to the window. “I’d like to see that horse.”

“Huh?” She looked out the window, but she didn’t see a horse.

“The horse Jackson has.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll have your dad bring you by to see it.”

“Okay. And I’d eat that sandwich.”

Granny Myrna chuckled but she didn’t say anything. Mia shot her a look. “What?”

“Nothing.” The older woman shifted into Drive and eased the car forward. “I’ll help you make those sandwiches.”

“I can do it. You go ahead and have lunch with the family.”

“Two of us can skip out on the interrogation.”

Mia smiled. “So you’re avoiding questions about Winston.”

“That I am. And you’ve been avoiding the inevitable for years.”

“What does that mean?”

Mia’s grandmother kept driving. “Mia, you have to stop running.”

“I have. The doctor told me...”

Granny Myrna gave her a full-blown angry look. “I am not talking about actual running. I’m talking about facing your life, your past and all that stuff you’ve bottled up inside you that you pretend you’ve dealt with.”

“Oh.” Mia didn’t know what else to say. She could argue, but arguing with her grandmother never worked. Granny Myrna would remind Mia that at eighty-five she had lived a lot and seen a lot.

“Is that all you have to say?”

Mia glanced back at Caleb. He was sound asleep.

“Gran, I’m good.”

“No, you’re not. You’re good at avoiding, but that isn’t good. You watched your mother die. You lost your siblings. You’ve lost a lot.”

“I have people who love me. I have a family.” And she’d never been one to dwell on the past. “I’ve lost, but I’ve gained, too.”

“Yes, you do have people who love you, and I’m one of them. But I think you stay as busy as possible and you hold yourself back for fear of losing again.”

“Have you been watching Dr. Phil again?” Mia admitted to herself the joke was getting old. But her grandmother’s words ached deep inside and she didn’t want to explore her feelings today, tomorrow or anytime soon.

They had reached Mia’s house and Granny Myrna pulled up to the garage and parked. “You need to think about what I’ve said.”

“I will.”

“And I am going to come in and fix you both sandwiches.”

“Thanks, Gran.”

Mia managed to wake Caleb up. He rubbed his eye a few times and blinked. “Is the horse here?”

She reached for his hand. “No. Let’s go in and have lunch. The horse won’t be here until tomorrow.”

“Oh. I think I had a dream.”

“Did you?”

He nodded as Mia opened the door wider for him to get out. “Yeah, we were riding that horse faster than Uncle Gray’s motorcycle.”

“That would be something, huh? Someday maybe we’ll ride her.”

“Soon?” He rubbed his face again and yawned.

“Yeah, soon.”

They walked up the steps of the porch, Granny Myrna in the lead. When they reached the door she turned and looked back at Mia and Caleb.

“Didn’t you lock this door?”

Mia’s neck hairs tingled and the sensation slid down her spine. She stopped Caleb and at the same time reached for her grandmother, pulling her back lightly.

“Yes, I did.” She always locked her doors. Out of habit she reached for her sidearm. But she didn’t have one. She stepped toward the door, listening. She leaned against the door frame, motioning her grandmother back. Her weapon was in the house. Locked up, but if a person didn’t mind breaking down a front door, he wouldn’t have a problem breaking into a gun cabinet.

“Mia, I’m calling 911.” Her grandmother’s voice shook as she whispered from a few feet away.

Mia eased through the door. “Stay here and don’t touch anything.”

She could hear her grandmother already talking to the 911 operator. Mia stepped farther into her living room.

The cushions were off the sofa and the end tables had been ransacked. She stood in one spot, listening. Nothing. She eased through the house, room by room. Whoever had been here was gone now.

But someone had definitely been in her house, in her sanctuary, the place she’d kept separate from her job, that life. This had been her place of light, away from the dark world that always felt too much like her childhood.

A world she kept going back to, even though she’d escaped from it.

A car pulled up. A radio squawked. Mia walked out the front door and met a county deputy coming up the sidewalk.

“The house is clear.” She motioned him inside.

“You went in?” He stepped to the door, pushing it open with his gloved hand. “No sign of forced entry.”

Another car cruised down the road and pulled in. She smiled at Caleb, standing next to her, thinking to reassure him. He appeared to be having the time of his life. At five, everything was an adventure. She did have a moment’s hesitation when she thought about explaining this to Slade.

The second car was unmarked. The trooper nodded to Mia’s grandmother and to Caleb.

“I’d like for you all to take a seat in my car until we’ve looked the house over.”

“Jim, the house is clear.” Mia protested and the trooper shook his head.

“Mia, I’m asking you to let us do our job.” He pointed to his car. She sighed and headed that way with her grandmother and Caleb. “I’m going, but not because I want to.”

He laughed as he walked through her front door. “Mia, I wouldn’t expect anything else from you.”

“What’s going on?” Caleb slid into the backseat of the sedan.

“Just being careful, Caleb.” Mia stood outside, peering in at her grandmother and Slade’s son. She had put them in danger. She should have gone to the ranch after church, then none of this would have happened. She could have come home alone, noticed the unlocked door and handled things herself.

The boy leaned forward, watching her house through the window. “But why?”

Oh, yes, the questions. She remembered that with Bryan, her youngest brother and with a few foster children the Coopers had taken in over the years. She knew he wouldn’t stop until he had answers.

“Because my front door was open and because it’s always good to be careful.”

“Oh.”

She stepped away from the car door. “I’m going to make a phone call.”

Her grandmother peered a little too closely. Mia never liked that look. It felt too much like her grandmother knew what she was up to. And Myrna Cooper usually did.

Mia dialed her phone as she walked away from the car. She waited and finally a soft voice said, “Hello.”

“Tina, it’s Mia. I wanted to check on you.” She watched as another vehicle came up the road. Slade’s truck. She hadn’t wanted this. He should be in Grove at the hospital.

“Mia, I...”

“Tina, what?” Mia’s back tingled and she waited, holding her breath. “Are you and the kids okay?”

“Of course. Yes, we’re fine.”

Mia stood there for a long moment. She watched Slade get out of his truck and walk to the car where Caleb still waited, jumping out when he saw his dad. She watched Myrna explain what had happened. Slade looked her way, his eyes narrowing, his mouth tightening in a firm line. He took off his hat and ran a hand through his short, dark hair.

The tightness in her chest eased and she breathed a little easier. Because Slade was there? She shook it off and returned to Tina and the conversation that had lagged.

“Tina, maybe you should come visit me.”

“No, I don’t think so, Mia. I’m fine. Really I am.”

“I’ll stop by and see you in a few days.” Mia waited and knew that Tina would protest.

“You really don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t, but I have a doctor’s appointment and I’ll be in Tulsa. I think it would be great if we could have lunch, maybe take the kids out.”

“That would be good. We’ll talk then.”

Slade had put his son and her grandmother back in the patrol car. He stood in front of her, hands behind his back, handsome cowboy face a mask of concern. Her eyes connected with his. She wanted to look away because if anyone could read her, it was Slade. She looked away as she finished the conversation.

“We’ll talk, Tina. And call if you need anything. Anything at all.” She hung up, but made a mental note to call her boss in Tulsa.

“What’s going on?” Slade asked the minute she slipped the phone into her pocket.

“How’s your mom? You should be with her.” Mia watched as the officers went back into her house.

“My mom had a heart attack. Mild, but she’s going to need to rest. My sister is with her now.” His gaze shifted, taking in his son. Mia knew this would be hard. Slade’s mom had been the person filling in since Vicki’s death.

“I can watch him for you.” The words were out, no taking them back.

Slade turned, looking at her. “What?”

“Caleb.” Mia hesitated as she looked at the child sitting next to her grandmother. “If your mom needs to rest, she isn’t going to be able to do that with a five-year-old child in the house. I can watch him for you.”

“I don’t know.” He glanced at her arm but she thought that was just an excuse.

“I can handle a kid in my house.” She looked up into his silver-gray eyes.

Friendship. Easy. Uncomplicated. No problem.

The officers approached, both looking more relaxed now that they’d been through her house and found it safe. She could have told them it was safe. She was injured—that didn’t mean she’d forgotten how to do her job.

“We bagged some evidence.” The trooper shrugged. “But it isn’t much. We got a partial print.”

“I told you...”

Slade touched her arm, stopping her.

“Mia, they’re doing their job.”

“Any idea who or why?” the deputy asked.

Mia shook her head, but she did have ideas. And she had a really sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that it had something to do with Tina.

But who did she trust with that information? Her eyes sought Slade’s. He was watching her, suspicious, curious, concerned. Maybe all three.

She knew she could trust Slade.

* * *

Slade watched the patrol cars leave and then he walked with Mia, Myrna Cooper and Caleb to the house. Myrna fanned herself with a church bulletin she pulled out of her purse.

“Well, that’s more excitement than an old gal needs in one day. Slade, how’s your mama doing?”

“She’ll be released tomorrow, but they want her to rest. Not that she’s going to be okay with resting.”

“Well, I’ll take a casserole over there tomorrow afternoon. You tell her not to worry about a thing.”

Caleb’s face scrunched and he looked at his dad. “Is grandma okay?”

“She’s fine, Caleb. Her heart is a little sick but the doctors will help it get better.”

He hoped that was the truth. It had to be. He had prayed long and hard on the way to the hospital. The prayers had taken him back to the night Vicki died. He’d prayed that he would get to the accident and it would be a mistake, that it wouldn’t be her. The old wound opened, and he had to reach down for his son’s hand to jolt himself back to the present.

Caleb smiled up at him, squeezing his hand back. For years, it had been the two of them against the world. And Slade’s mom had helped him hold it all together.

Caleb pulled on his hand, forcing him to follow Mia into the house. She walked through the living room that had been turned upside down to the kitchen door and then stood, lost in her own thoughts. He watched her, and she caught his look and held it before smiling at his son.

“We should eat lunch. Caleb and I were going to have grilled PB&J.” She made it sound normal, like nothing had happened. Mia had experience dealing with what life threw at her.

He looked at his son, surprised by the choice. “Did you let her talk you into that?”

Caleb grinned big. “Granny Myrna says it’s better than it sounds.”

“If she says so, it probably is.” He caught a look from Myrna and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. He definitely didn’t think it had anything to do with grilled peanut butter and jelly. That was just a guess on his part.

“It’s always good to trust my judgment, Slade McKennon. I’ve lived a long time and I have a few things figured out.”

“Like grilled PB&J?”

“Exactly.” Myrna looked at her watch. “Well, my goodness, I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. I’m going to have to run. Slade, do you think you could help Mia out?”

Before he could answer, Mia rushed into the conversation. “Gran, I can take care of things. You go and I’ll be fine.”

“Slade is here. He won’t mind helping you.” Granny Myrna winked at Slade. “Isn’t that right?”

She headed for the door and Slade couldn’t think as fast as she seemed to be able to walk. He reached the door just in time to open it so that she could make a grand exit, smiling back at him and waving her fingers.

“You kids be good, and I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you, Mia.”

With that she was gone.

“She’s good.” Mia laughed as she said it.

He turned and Mia stood a few steps behind him with that look on her face that said she could handle anything. But if he looked closer, into dark eyes that shadowed and closed a person out, maybe she wasn’t handling things after all.

“You okay?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“Do you want me to make a list of reasons why you wouldn’t be okay? Should I start with your partner dying in your arms? Follow that with an injury that might mean the end of your career, then we’ll talk about someone breaking into your house. Have I missed anything?”

She shook her head, “No, you cut right to the heart of it. Thanks.”

“Mia, we’re friends. I’m here. And I know that you’re going to try to bury all this and pretend nothing happened. It’s better to talk it out.”

“I know.” Her voice grew soft and she turned away. “We should fix lunch. I’ll bet Caleb is starving. Where is Caleb?”

“He’s in the kitchen.”

She nodded but kept her back to him. “Let’s get that boy something to eat.”

He reached for her left arm. “Mia, stop.”

She still didn’t turn. Back ramrod-straight and head high, she stood frozen beneath his touch. “Slade, I’m barely hanging on right now. I’m not sure who was in my house or what they were looking for. Butch is dead and Tina is hiding something.”

Her voice broke and he moved to face her. Her eyes closed and she shook her head when he rested his hand on her shoulder. He stepped back, giving her space to find strength. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

“Slade, I have to figure this out.”

“I’ll help.”

“You have your plate pretty full with Caleb, your mom and your job.”

He laughed a little at that. “And you volunteered to watch Caleb. I won’t hold you to that.”

“I want to watch him.”

“I don’t know.” He brushed a hand across his face, suddenly bone-tired and wishing he could have a do-over on this day.

“How do we move on, Slade? How do we stop holding on to the past? You’re holding on to Caleb because he’s all you have left of Vicki. I’ve been afraid to look at him, get attached to him, because he’s all I have left of my best friend. I should have been in his life, hugging him and being the person Vicki would have wanted me to be.”

“We did what we had to do to survive.”

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