Table of Contents

Cover Page

Excerpt

About the Author

Title Page

Epigraph

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Dear Reader

Copyright

Hope sat up in her bed with a gasp.

She bent her knees, hugging them to her in the loneliness of her room.

In her dreams, Eric had been kissing her again. And she’d been kissing him back. The way it had always been with them. Mutual love. Equal longing.

She’d had this dream too many times to count, reliving the time when she and her husband were still together.

She’d loved Eric Granston nearly all her life. The boy he’d been. The man he’d become.

And she loved him still.

There was a place in her heart only Eric could fill.

Hope sighed, recalling her feelings from the night they’d parted. Her sense of being right.

She hadn’t realized that being “right” could feel so wrong…

KATHRYN ALEXANDER

writes inspirational romance because, having been a Christian for many years, she felt that incorporating the element of faith in the Lord into a romantic story line was a lovely and appropriate idea. After all, in a society where love for a lifetime is difficult to find, imagine discovering it, unexpectedly, as a gift sent from God.

Married to Kelly, her own personal love of a lifetime, Kathryn and her husband have one son, John, who is the proud owner of the family’s two house pests, Herbie the cat and Copper the dog.

Kathryn and her family have been members of their church for nearly five years, where she co-teaches a Sunday school class of active two-year-olds. She is now a stay-at-home mom who writes between car pooling, baby-sitting and applying bandages, when necessary.

The Forever Husband
Kathryn Alexander

www.millsandboon.co.uk

For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than

our heart, and knoweth all things.

—I John 3:20

To Anne Canadeo,

editor extraordinaire.

Thank you for three beautiful books!

Prologue

Eric smiled at his wife and extended an arm to take her hand in his protective grasp, then pulled her gently into the boat with him. Hope had been watching from the sidelines, uncertain about joining her husband in the anchored, but unsteady vessel. But as he urged her into testing their new purchase, she came haphazardly into his arms with nervous laughter and, finally, a shriek sounding of certain catastrophe when the boat rocked sharply.

“Eric! Do something! We’re tipping over!”

His grip on her arms was as firm as it could be without hurting, and he steadied her before she slid her own desperate arms around his waist.

His smile was wide. “Don’t be afraid, Hope. You know how to swim if you need to.”

“But we’ll probably both drown because I’ll be too scared to let go of you! If this thing tips, we’re going down together,” she warned.

Eric laughed out loud, the sound of his voice mingling with the slap of water against the boat’s hull. On a sudden gust of October wind a swirl of autumn leaves blew from the lakeshore into the boat and around their feet.

“We’re going down together, huh?” Eric repeated in a solemn tone.

Hope loosened her clinging hold on him slightly, and tilted her head back in time to see the laughter fade from her husband’s eyes. Just then, the boat steadied some, although that did little to ease the rapid pace of Hope’s heart as she stared into the depths of Eric’s darkening gaze.

“Yes, you’re going with me,” she responded with a teasing smile. Then, lifting her hand to his chest, she touched the soft fabric of his shirt and watched Eric’s gaze lower to her mouth. He would kiss her; he always did when he had that look. But the waiting wasn’t easy, even after all the years.

“That’s where I want to be, Hope. With you…always.” His hands moved upward into her windblown hair, and he leaned toward her, as Hope raised herself up to meet his kiss. Eric’s warm mouth moved firmly against hers, taking and giving—both of them wanting more of the love they’d found in each other’s arms…

Hope woke up instantly, sitting up in her bed with a gasp. She pulled her knees up, hugging them to her in the loneliness of her room.

Eric had been kissing her again, and she’d been kissing him back—as it had always been with them. Mutual love; equal longing. She gave a soft sigh. She’d had this dream too many times to count. And it wasn’t a dream in the true sense of the word. Not fantasy or a capricious imagination at work in a sleep-filled mind. It was real. A clearly remembered incident replayed in her sleep. Over and over. A relived moment in time from when she and her husband had lived together. She’d loved Eric Granston nearly all her life—the boy he had been, the man he’d become. And she loved him still. There was a place in her heart only Eric could fill.

Chapter One

“Eric? What are you doing here?” Hope had walked around the corner of a French-fry stand, surprised to find her dark-haired husband. She hadn’t expected him at this annual hospital fund-raiser.

“I came to see my girl.” With a smile, he reached down to pick up their six-year-old daughter, Beth, who had grinned broadly as she rushed into her father’s arms.

“Hi, Daddy. I’m glad you’re here. Maybe you could win me a goldfish.”

“No goldfish, sweetheart. They never live long, and it breaks your heart when they die,” Eric replied before returning his attention to Hope. “I was upstairs visiting Cassie, and she told me that you were down here at this carnival, so I thought I’d stop by to see Beth.” He paused. “You don’t mind, do you? I mean, I realize it’s not my regularly scheduled day to see her.”

“No,” Hope said with a shake of her head. The wind caught her blond hair, blowing it around her face; she pushed it back. “I don’t mind. I’m just surprised to see you.”

She was very surprised, in fact, considering she and Eric had barely spoken since their separation six months ago. Exchanging children for visitation had been the extent of their involvement with each other until recently, when their older daughter, Cassie, had been hospitalized with pneumonia. Since then they’d seen each other more often, but their encounters remained brief, consisting mostly of passing each other coming and going from the hospital room, and discussing Cassie’s improving condition when necessary. Basically, they avoided each other as much as possible. Actually, Hope had to admit, Eric was the one doing most of the avoiding, which was probably for the best if she was to have any chance of getting him out of her heart.

“What are you doing here, anyway? Trying to keep this daughter of ours entertained?” he asked with a teasing pull on Beth’s blond ponytail.

“Something like that,” Hope replied. “I thought this little carnival would be fun for her.”

Eric nodded. “And are you having fun yet?” he asked the little girl wearing a yellow blouse and matching jumper with decorative sunflowers on the front pockets. Beth was a beautiful child, Eric thought for the millionth time. She looked just like her mother.

“Yeah! Look at those stuffed animals over there, Dad.” Beth pointed to a row of booths offering various games and prizes. “The one where you throw darts at the balloons can win a fat green frog.”

“Living or stuffed?” Hope asked immediately. She didn’t like the idea of a backyard funeral for a deceased frog later in the week. Or worse yet, the thing might actually live.

“Stuffed, Mom. Why would I want a real frog? They’re too yucky to have for a pet.”

“Good. I’ve trained you well,” Hope remarked, and saw the flash of amusement in her husband’s dark gaze.

“Let’s go see if we can win one, Beth,” Eric suggested. Then he looked directly into his wife’s blue eyes, something he had resisted doing whenever possible since they’d separated. “Maybe your mother would like to come with us.” He spoke to Beth while searching Hope’s face for the response.

She hesitated, then nodded in uncertain agreement Spending time with Eric would not be easy. She might enjoy it—too much.

But Hope walked with them to the blue booth with bright green frogs painted all over its walls. It took five dollars and ten darts, but Beth came away from the game a happy little girl with a fat frog tucked under each arm. They’d won an extra one for Cassie.

Then the three of them walked together, with Eric and Beth engaged in conversation. The two were discussing something about school when Hope realized she hadn’t been listening closely to what they were saying. She’d been walking along silently, thinking too much about her life with Eric. If the Lord had brought them together, how had they managed to go so far astray?

“You ready to go home, babe?” Eric inquired. Beth nodded her head slowly, as though tired.

“Mom? You ready to go, too?” her daughter asked.

“Yes, hon. I’m ready,” Hope replied.

Eric picked Beth up again, and she rested her head on his shoulder as he walked with Hope the short distance to where her red van was parked.

“Daddy? Can’t I ride home with you in your truck?” she asked. “Please?”

Eric’s black pickup was about a dozen spaces away in the next row over. He looked from the vehicle to Hope. “If it’s okay with your mother.”

She smiled. “Go ahead. I’ll see you at home.”

“Okay, Mom. See you later!” Beth responded. Eric reached to open the door of the van for Hope while holding their daughter in his other arm.

Hope moved past him and climbed into the vehicle. Then she slid her key into the ignition.

“Thank you,” she said quietly, looking back into Eric’s dark gaze.

He nodded without speaking, and closed the door for her. Then he and Beth headed toward the truck. Hope watched them go as she started her van and drove out of the lot.

The “home” Hope was headed toward was the house owned by Ed and Grace Granston, her mother- and father-in-law. They had invited Hope and the girls to stay with them during Cassie’s bout with pneumonia. Hope was dividing her time among the necessities: teaching, looking after Beth, and being with eight-year-old Cassie at the hospital every night. Staying with Eric’s parents had seemed like the best solution at the time she’d agreed to it. But now, as she neared the two-story white home, she wondered if she’d made the right decision. She’d known she would be around Eric, now and then, if she stayed with his mother and father. But it hadn’t happened—until today.

She parked her van in the driveway and turned off the ignition just as Eric pulled in beside her. Hope took a deep breath. “Lord, please help me get through this,” she whispered in the silence of her vehicle.

Maybe she and Beth could go upstairs and find something to do. That way, Eric could visit his parents, and Hope could keep her distance from him. She needed to do that, if she was going to let him go. Being near Eric again only reminded her of how much she loved him. And she’d found no provision for dealing with that in the separation agreement she’d refused to sign.

Eric and Beth were halfway to the front steps when Hope got out of her vehicle and walked past Eric’s truck. There was a stack of clothes on the seat of the pickup, she noticed. Could he be bringing laundry for his mother to wash? Possibly—but she didn’t really think so. It didn’t seem like something Eric would do.

Hope walked around the rear of the van. She pulled off her sunglasses and pushed wispy blond bangs from her forehead, just as she saw Beth run into the house ahead of her father. But Eric stopped and waited while Hope walked up the concrete steps to the porch. He held the front door open, glancing in her direction with curiosity. She rarely had been so subdued in their “together” days, she recalled. He was probably wondering why she was so quiet now.

Hope moved past him into the large house. His parents’ home, she reminded herself. She suddenly felt almost as though she were trespassing. Maybe living here temporarily wasn’t such a great idea. Still, even if just for the children’s sake, it seemed to be her best option right now. And sometimes, for no explicable reason, it felt to Hope as though the Lord wanted her there.

“I’m sorry, Hope. I haven’t even asked how you are,” Eric said.

“I’m fine,” she replied.

“Did you teach today?”

“No.” Hope turned to look at him. She knew that she should attempt to carry on this discussion with him, if only she could think of something neutral they could talk about. And asking about the clothes in the truck didn’t seem appropriate. “How’s the world of real estate?” she asked.

“It could be better,” Eric answered with a slight shrug, “but business will pick up again one of these days. It’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“I’m not worried,” she said quickly. “I was… only trying to make conversation.”

One corner of Eric’s mouth curved into a halfhearted smile. “That’s difficult to do with someone you’re accustomed to just talking to.”

She nodded in agreement and looked away from him toward their daughter. Eric had always been easy to talk to. That was one of the things she loved about him. That and his gentle nature. And his dark eyes, and the way time had etched featherlike laugh lines at the corners of them…There were so many things about Eric that she would always love, whether he belonged to her or not. Seeing him again today only reaffirmed what her heart already knew. She was in so deep, she’d probably never get out.

“Beth,” she said to her daughter, wanting to change her flow of thought, “If you do your homework and change your clothes, I’ll take you over to the hospital to see your sister again before bed-time.”

“Come on, Dad—” the child started up the staircase in a hurry “—you can help me go over my spelling words. I have ten to learn.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he called after Beth as she scampered away from him. Then he and Hope both glanced toward the sound of Ed and Grace Granston’s voices coming from the kitchen. Eric returned his gaze to his wife. “Hope…Mom and Dad want to talk to you about something.”

She didn’t reply right away; she was too busy noticing the hesitancy she saw in his eyes as he spoke. “It’s not about the divorce, is it, Eric? I don’t want to sign those papers—”

“It’s not,” he promised. “You don’t have to sign anything you don’t want to sign. Just hear them out while I help Beth with her homework.” Then he turned to go up the stairs toward his daughter’s room.

Hope stood silently at the foot of the staircase, remembering her feelings from the night they had parted—her sense of being right She hadn’t realized being “right” could feel so wrong, and she’d missed him almost before he’d walked out the door.

“Hope, dear, is that you?” Grace stuck her head around the kitchen door to see her daughter-in-law standing there, looking at the empty staircase. She adjusted her silver-frame glasses. “Could Ed and I speak with you for a moment?”

Hope followed Grace into the next room. “How are you feeling?” Hope asked her father-in-law when she noticed he looked even paler than he had in recent days.

“Well, that’s part of what we want to talk to you about,” Grace began. “He’s not been feeling as well as he could, and we’ve decided to take a little vacation for a couple of weeks.”

Hope’s heart sank. Staying here the past two weeks during Cassie’s illness had worked out so well for Hope and Beth that she hadn’t given much consideration to the strain it might put on the girls’ grandparents. “I’m sorry, Grace. You don’t need to leave your own home. Beth and I will find an apartment somewhere close by so you and Ed can—”

“No.” Grace and Ed were both shaking their heads in disagreement. “That’s just what we don’t want—you feeling that you need to move out. Ed and I haven’t been away from home since that autumn trip to New England over three years ago. It’s time for a change of scenery, wouldn’t you say? We want you and Beth to stay right here. But while we are away for those two weeks, you’ll still need someone around to help when you’re at the hospital…so we’ve asked Eric to move in.”

“No,” Hope said, shaking her head. “I’ll find someone else to help me—”

“If Ed and I are going to relax and enjoy this vacation, we need to know you’re here with someone we can count on. That someone is Eric. If you won’t let him be the one that stays here in our absence, then we’re not going.”

Hope sighed. She needed help from someone, at least during the nights she stayed with Cassie. She knew that. But, Eric? “Grace, let me ask some of the teachers I work with. Maybe one of them could let Beth sleep at their house while you’re gone.”

“No,” Grace responded flatly. “It’s going to be Eric. Cassie and Beth are his children, and this is his responsibility.”

“It would be awkward for us,” Hope said as casually as she could manage. Awkward? Having Eric around again? Day after day? It would be impossible.

“Call a truce for fourteen days. The arguing can resume once Ed and I come home.” Grace glanced toward her silent husband. “Ed, help me out with this.”

“She’s right, Hope. As we’ve said, we want you and the girls to stay with us as long as you need to. But you and Eric will have to get along together for a couple of weeks without us. You have children together—you’ll have to make this work.”

“But you don’t understand what you’re asking. Eric and I…” she began and then paused. How could she explain this? “Nothing’s been the same since Cassie hurt her back in that dive at the pool.”

“But Cassie recovered beautifully from that injury, thank the Lord,” Grace reminded. “She’s walking again, and all she needs now is to get over this pneumonia. Soon, she’ll be well, she’ll be home and life can get back to normal.”

But what was normal? Hope wondered. Life with Eric, or life without him? After all the years of loving him, she wasn’t sure anymore.

It was with quiet resignation that she assented to her in-laws’ decision. Then she walked slowly up the staircase toward Beth’s room. So, that explained the clothes in Eric’s truck. He was bringing them here, moving them into a room upstairs. Probably the one across the hall from hers. Hope sighed. She needed help during Ed and Grace’s absence. That was true. But she didn’t want to need Eric.

“Mom, I’m going back with you to see Cassie again tonight. Right?” Beth came running out of her room when she heard her mother’s footsteps in the hallway. “I’ve already printed each of my spelling words twice.”

“Good girl,” Hope said, and gave the child a hug. “Change your clothes, and we’ll go.” Beth ran back into her bedroom to change, out of hearing range, just as Eric stepped out of the room where he had been helping with homework. A sense of inadequacy swept over Hope as she met his serious gaze. Did she really need to accept his help? Couldn’t she work this out on her own without relying on this man?

“I have some things to bring in from the truck,” Eric said. He hesitated, studying her guarded expression before continuing. “Did Mom and Dad talk to you?”

“Yes,” she answered. “They told me you’re moving in.”

“It’s the logical thing to do, Hope. No matter how awkward it may be. The girls are my responsibility, too.”

Hope nodded her head in agreement, then looked away from Eric. Responsibility. Doing what he should do. Those were the things that would motivate Eric, and Hope wished it could be more.

Then she looked up at him and asked the question that had nagged at her for days. “Are you angry with me for being here?”

“I’d rather have you and the girls living here with my parents than five hundred miles away in Missouri with yours,” he replied quietly. “You know that, don’t you?”

“No, I—I guess I just needed to be sure,” she answered. Sure? She wasn’t sure about much of anything involving Eric Granston.

“If you take Beth with you, I’ll come by the hospital and pick her up in about an hour,” Eric stated. “That way she can have dinner, a bath and get to bed on time.”

Hope said simply, “Thank you,” and turned toward the guest room she was using during her stay. What an unpleasant two weeks this could turn out to be. Five hundred miles distance between them suddenly sounded good compared to six feet of hallway.

“Come on, hon,” Hope said as she gathered up a couple of books from the dresser. “Let’s go say good night to Cassie. Dad will pick you up later and bring you home.” She took a quick look down the hallway. No Eric in sight.

“Mom, do you have to stay at the hospital every night?” Beth asked with a sigh.

Hope felt torn. She knew it was hard sometimes for Beth, who needed attention and comforting now as much as did her sister. “Maybe not every night,” she responded before touching her little girl’s soft blond curls, the same shade as her own. “But until she tells me that herself, I’ll stay with her. Eight years old is still rather young to be left alone in a hospital. She’s nearly well, anyway, and soon she’ll be home. Then things will get back to the way you like them.”

“And you’ll be home more,” Beth added.

“Definitely,” she agreed, and kissed her daughter on the top of her little blond head. “Then we’ll find a new place to live.”

“With Dad?”

“No, Beth. Not with Dad.” Hope reached for her sweater and purse and glanced at her watch. “Grab your jacket—we’ve got to go.”

“I don’t want to move away. I like it here with Grandma and Grandpa,” Beth insisted.

Hope nodded. “I know you do. We’ll talk about it later. Now, go tell Grandma and Grandpa we’re leaving. She’s fixing fried chicken for you and Dad to have later.”

“Yum! My favorite!” Beth exclaimed as she headed down the staircase away from her mother. She had become more and more independent of Hope since Cassie’s accident. Self-preservation, Hope thought a little sadly. In a way, she missed being needed more by her youngest daughter. At least Eric would be around to give Beth more attention. Once again Hope felt herself panic at the thought of sharing the house for two solid weeks. But Cassie was waiting, and it was time to go.

Hope and Beth entered the pastel blue of the hospital room. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Hope gave two children’s books and a kiss to her girl.

“Daddy and I won you this!” Beth exclaimed as she placed the friendly looking frog beside her sister. “I have one just like it at home.”

“Cool. Thanks, Beth. And I’m doing okay, Mom. I just ate my dinner.” Cassie sat up a little straighter in the bed. “I’ve been watching television.”

“I brought the books you asked for. Beth had to help me find them. They were buried in your box of stuffed animals.”

“They were way down in the bottom,” Beth added. “Down below Brown Bear, Papa Bear and Bob.”

Hope grinned. “Bob” was their oldest teddy bear, and he wore a floppy blue hat and red pants with yellow suspenders. How they had decided on the name, she had no idea, but he’d been “Bob” for as long as anyone could remember.

“Thanks, guys,” Cassie said. “I’ve been missing these books. I’ll read one to you tonight, Mom.”

“Good,” Hope pulled a chair up beside the bed and sat down. “If you feel like it.”

“I feel okay. My fever is down—almost gone, Nurse Trudy said.”

“Great!” Hope responded. “Maybe, by tomorrow, it will be all gone.” She knew that Cassie’s doctor was reluctant to let her go home—despite her continuing improvement—until he was certain she was well. Completely. The last time she came home after being hospitalized with a lung infection, she suddenly became worse and much to every-one’s dismay had to be readmitted. No one wanted that to happen again. “I’ll talk to your doctor in the morning. Then I’ll find out how you’re doing.”

“Are you teaching tomorrow?” Cassie asked.

“Yes,” Hope answered. “Second grade.” She had reduced her workload to substitute teaching after Cassie’s diving accident almost two years ago. But Hope taught whenever she could. Since her separation from Eric six months ago, whatever money she earned proved useful. When they had sold their house earlier in the year, they’d split the equity evenly, and Hope was saving her share with the thought of buying a small house of her own when the time was right.

“Guess what?” Beth asked as she climbed up on the bed to sit by Cassie’s feet. “Daddy’s picking me up in a little while, and we’re going home to eat fried chicken with Grandma and Grandpa.”

“Lucky you,” Cassie remarked.

Her daughter’s complexion looked much brighter than it had yesterday, Hope noticed. She leaned forward to touch the girl’s cheek. “That sounds good to me, too, hon. We’ll have fried chicken to celebrate when you come home, if the doctor says it’s okay,” Hope added.

And until Cassie came home from the hospital or until her grandparents’ vacation ended, Eric would be there, she reminded herself. How could Hope explain to the girls that he would be living with them again, and yet not let them expect too much? Especially, when she was having difficulty keeping her own wants and wishes in line.

“Cassie, Beth. Do you know Grandma and Grandpa are going to be gone for a while? They’re taking a little vacation.”

“Grandma told me they’re going on a cruise,” Cassie confirmed. “She’s always wanted to do that. She told me this morning.”

Hope nodded her head. “Right, well, while they are gone, they think I need someone to help out around the house.”

“Like a housekeeper? Like some of the families on TV have?” Beth asked.

“No,” Hope answered, suddenly feeling thankful that her life wasn’t as mixed up as some of the sitcoms she’d seen. “No, they asked your father to move in while they’re away. So…Dad will be living there. With us. Temporarily.”

The girls’ faces lit up like fireworks. Just the response Hope had feared.

“Yeah! Dad’s coming home! When?” Beth squealed. Cassie was a little more reserved, smiling broadly, but not asking any questions.

“He’s moving some of his clothes and belongings from his apartment—”

“I never did like that apartment he had over the office, anyway,” Cassie remarked. “I’d rather have him at Grandma’s with us.”

“Me, too!” Beth chimed in.

“But, remember, it’s only for a short period of time,” Hope reminded. “Just a couple of weeks or less.”

“Or more,” Beth replied.

“No,” Hope stated firmly, and gathered Beth into her arms. “This is just for a little while.”

“But this is exactly what we were praying for, isn’t it, Cassie? Ever since Dad left—”

“Beth, honey, Dad and I aren’t getting back together. We’re just going to be staying in the same house for a while,” Hope explained as a sudden pang of loneliness hit her. How she wished it did mean more. She and Eric had known many happy years together.

Beth still sounded optimistic. “Maybe he’ll start going to church again. Wouldn’t that be good? He could teach Sunday School like he used to do. I know the kids miss him. And he could be trusted again.”

“You mean a ‘trustee,’” Cassie corrected.

A flash of humor crossed Hope’s face. Then it was gone. Maybe Beth was right. Hope had stopped trusting him. Lord knows, Eric had given her enough reason to do so.

“Girls, this is exactly what I was afraid of. Don’t get excited over this. Nothing has changed between your father and me.”

“But prayer changes things,” Cassie said with sincerity. “You said so yourself.”

“Yes, it can change things,” Hope responded, “but God doesn’t answer every prayer with a ‘yes.’”

“But some of them, He does,” Beth argued.

Some of them, He does. Hope couldn’t argue with that. She’d seen many prayers answered in her lifetime, one of the greatest being Cassie’s complete recovery from serious injuries she’d sustained at a pool two summers ago. The girl had regained her ability to walk again and returned to a normal life, although it had taken time and therapy. Too much of both, according to Eric. And that was only part of what had driven him away from the Lord, from church and from his family.

But through it all, he had never blamed Hope. Not for anything. Sometimes she wondered if she’d have felt less guilty if he had.

“Hi, girls. How ya doin’?”

Eric’s voice sounded pleasant, almost soothing as he greeted the children. Hope glanced up from fluffing Cassie’s pillow to see him enter the room with a smile. A nice smile. The kind she could almost believe was meant for her.

“Ready for some chicken? I’m starving,” Beth said as she picked up her pink jacket and ran to give her big sister a hug.

“’Bye, Beth. Save some of that food for me!” Cassie called as Beth headed toward the door.

Eric kissed Cassie and mussed up her hair a little before he walked away. “I’ll see you again tomorrow, sweetie.” Then he looked directly at Hope. “I’d be glad to stay here if you’re tired. You could use a good night’s rest at home, you know.”

Home. Exactly where was that? It used to be wherever Eric was. She shook her head. “Thanks, anyway, but I’m fine tonight. Maybe some other time.”

Eric nodded in reluctant agreement. “Then, we’ll see you in the morning,” he responded quietly.

Hope saw a flicker of uncertainty, almost a ten-derness, in Eric’s gaze before he took Beth’s hand and turned to go. His dark brown hair was cut short and silky straight in complete contrast to the blond curls of the little girl who gazed up at him as they walked away. Eric hadn’t changed his clothes since she’d seen him earlier. His gray slacks and white shirt were slightly rumpled, and his dark blue tie was loosened but still present. He had that weary look about him that Hope wanted to soothe away with the right words or a soft touch. She lowered her clear blue gaze to the pillow she still held in her hands. She missed him. Deeply. She didn’t want to, but she did.

“Mom, ready for me to read to you?”

She returned her gaze and attention to her brighteyed daughter. “Of course, I am, hon. Just let me move these cushions around and turn this cot into a bed.” Hope picked up the extra folded blanket she had brought from home so she could make herself comfortable on the makeshift bed. Nights of unsettled sleep sometimes brought an achiness into Hope’s shoulders that she couldn’t quite overcome, and she knew she would miss Grace’s occasional backrubs. They’d been almost as good as the ones Eric had given over the years. No, on second thought, Hope considered as she remembered her husband’s strong, warm touch, they weren’t that good.

“Cassie, hon,” she said, wanting to think of something else—anything else—but Eric, “I think it’s time for you to read.”

As Eric led Beth through the maze of hospital corridors and out to the parking lot, he was thoughtful. He wanted to help Hope in whatever ways she would allow, and he knew there might not be many. He’d avoided her for too long, but only in an attempt to protect his own heart. Maybe she wouldn’t forgive him. Maybe he was too late. And maybe asking his parents to go away on an unscheduled vacation wouldn’t prove to be the perfect solution he hoped it might be. He guessed the next two weeks would give him the answers he needed.

Chapter Two

“C’mon, Carrie Elizabeth. We’re gonna be late,” Hope said, grabbing the car keys early the next morning. She had returned to the house to pick Beth up for school. “Let’s go.”

“If you’re in a hurry to leave, I can take her to school,” Eric offered as he entered the kitchen. Streams of sunshine through the window lit up the room. “I have a few extra minutes this morning.”

“You’re sure?” she asked hesitantly. Having Eric walk through a doorway at any moment was something she had to get used to. And, could, too easily.

“I’m sure,” he answered, reaching for Beth as she ran into the room directly toward her father. “‘Mornin’, babe.”

“Dad! You really are still here!”

“That, I am.” Eric hugged her small frame to him, then released her. “Your grandparents must be sleeping late. C’mon, let’s eat a quick breakfast so you can make it to school on time.”

He glanced up at Hope, surprised to see her still standing there in the doorway, watching them. “If you see Cassie before I do this afternoon, tell her I’ll be there later today,” he said, looking into her fathomless blue eyes a moment longer than he should have.

“Give me a kiss, honey. I’ll see you at school later.” She kissed her daughter, then glanced at Eric again. “Thank you. I need to get there early to look over the lesson plans,” she said before leaving through the back door.

Eric’s presence, his helpfulness and kindness, could be difficult to accept, she knew, but it could also be the Lord’s way of showing them His will for their lives…something Hope hadn’t felt very certain of lately. For years she’d believed that she was following the right course, living in the center of God’s will, and that the love He’d blessed Eric and her with would go on forever. She’d given her heart to the Lord at the conclusion of a Sunday School class one day when she was only six years old. The teacher had asked if anyone wanted to pray for salvation, and Hope had raised her hand. So her heart had belonged to God even before it belonged to Eric Granston.

She climbed into her van and started toward Beechmore Elementary, still lost in thought. Eric was now with her again, but only because he didn’t think she was capable of handling everything by herself while Ed and Grace were away. And he was probably right, she lamented. She needed his help to get Beth to school on time and to be there with her at night while Hope slept at the hospital. She stopped for a red light. Yes, he was being helpful and considerate, almost friendly. But where was the Eric she’d married and loved? He certainly wasn’t the man who was at this moment sharing breakfast with their six-year-old daughter. The Eric she used to know would have kissed her good morning, said a prayer over their breakfast and shared a cup of coffee with her.

The blaring horn of the automobile behind her returned Hope’s attention to the traffic light, which had changed to green. She continued on her way as her thoughts went in another direction. Eric wasn’t the only one who’d changed since Cassie’s accident, she realized. She’d never kept secrets from him before, not until that summer day at the pool.

Entering the familiar school parking lot, she carefully pulled into the first available space. She’d been convinced years ago that the Lord had brought Eric into her life. And He had blessed their union in many ways. Could He have done all that—given them such happiness for so many years—only to let them mess things up like this? Now that Cassie was better and life held such promise? Hope didn’t have all the answers, but somehow, some way, there had to be more in her future with Eric Granston than a divorce decree—if only they could find their way to it.

“How did you meet Mom?” Cassie asked between bites of cherry-red gelatin from her lunch tray later that day. Eric had finished up earlier than expected at a closing and had stopped in to see how his daughter was feeling.

He leaned back in his chair. Meet her? He could barely remember a time when he hadn’t known Hope Ryan Granston. “We met in kindergarten, I guess. We went through school together, graduated from high school and then college together.”

Cassie grinned from ear to ear. “So you were childhood sweethearts?”

“Yes, you could say that,” he responded quietly, reflecting on earlier days. “We were friends for a long time before it became a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship during high school. Your mother was very popular in school, you know. She was pretty and smart, and fun to be with.”

“Don’t you think she’s all those things anymore, Dad?”

“Yes, I do.” He answered her question before his mind went back, momentarily, to envision the teenager he had fallen in love with. Hope’s blond hair had been short then, in an almost boyish cut, but the style had looked good on her. She was thin and athletic, an excellent student and a sports fan.

“So, it wasn’t like they say in the movies? Love at first sight?”

Eric smiled. “You’re very nosy today,” he remarked. “But I guess with your mother and me, it was more like friendship at first sight. The love part kind of caught us by surprise.” Very much by surprise, he recalled as he thought of that long walk home from the high school one day.

It was years ago. Several inches of snow had fallen during the afternoon. After school, he and Hope had trudged through the fresh snow, both of them loaded down with books and gym bags. Eric was carrying Hope’s clarinet case. They were cutting across the field that adjoined the property owned by Hope’s parents when Eric tripped over something in his path, falling facedown in the snow. The books flew to one side and the gym bag and clarinet case to the other as he hit the ground hard. And although the fall hurt his shoulder a little bit, nothing hurt as badly as his fourteen-year-old pride.

But Hope hadn’t laughed. She certainly could have been amused by the sight of him clumsily plunging into the white depths. But she hadn’t. “Eric!” Hope had called out his name, in a typically feminine, almost maternal, manner. “Are you all right? Did you hurt yourself?” She dropped her belongings on the ground and knelt beside him as he sat up, slightly stunned by the incident.

Eric wiped snow from his face. “I’m okay—just embarrassed,” he replied, as Hope pulled off her red gloves and brushed more snow from his face with warm hands.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” she’d responded, pushing strands of hair away from her friend’s forehead in a tender touch. Friends. That’s all they were, wasn’t it? In that moment, it didn’t feel that way to Eric. Hope knelt only inches from him in that field, with her jeans getting wet from the snow, while she looked for a long moment into the dark eyes that viewed her with new interest. “A fall like that—” she hesitated before lowering her luminous blue gaze to look away from him “—could happen…to anyone.” She stumbled through the sentence. Then, she cautiously looked back at him to find that his eyes hadn’t strayed from her face. She smiled a little, and Eric thought for the first time how beautiful she was. Awash in unfamiliar thoughts, he slowly leaned forward, his mouth brushing hers in a soft kiss that she returned, tentatively at first, then, gradually, with a little more confidence. They finally broke apart abruptly, each of them settling back into the snow and gasping for breath—

“Dad,” Cassie interrupted the private memory, “tell me about how you fell in love.”

The straight line of Eric’s mouth showed no hint of the emotion behind his memories. “It’s difficult to tell anyone about the precise moment you know you’re in love, Cass. You’ll understand that when you’re older.” But in fact, Eric knew exactly when it had been for him: that afternoon in the snow. During that warm kiss that caused him to forget about his fall, his sore shoulder and the books lying where they had dropped. After that kiss, Eric and Hope had belonged to each other.

He cleared his throat. “Did you know your mother was the only girl on the high school golf team in those days? There wasn’t a girls’ team yet, and she played well enough that she was invited to join the boys.” He laughed quietly at the memory he always had whenever he thought about her golfing days—Hope surrounded by males.

“Weren’t you jealous?” Cassie asked as she took another bite of the meal she’d been picking at. It was as though she could read his mind. “Mom being around all those other guys?”

“You bet I was. I didn’t like it at all, and I wasn’t a good enough golfer to make the team, so she was on her own.” Just like now, he thought briefly.

“What if she gets married again someday? It won’t matter to you?”

“Married? You don’t need to worry about that happening soon,” Eric remarked, wanting to bring an end to this topic. Unless Cassie knew something he didn’t. He hadn’t been around enough lately to be aware of what was going on in Hope’s life, but his daughter was usually good at telling everything she knew about a subject without being prodded. So, he waited.

Cassie coughed several times. “Well, maybe not real soon, I guess.”

“What does that mean?” Eric asked. He reached for a nearby pitcher of water and poured some of it into the plastic cup on her lunch tray.

“Nothing. It’s just that Mr. Shelton, the principal, has been talking to her about the future, and they have eaten lunch together at school. Does that count as anything?” she asked in between sips.

It counted. But Eric wouldn’t let any emotion register there in front of his daughter. Not even surprise, and that wasn’t all he was feeling.

“Dad, you didn’t answer me.”

“Lunch in a school cafeteria with dozens of other people wouldn’t be much of a date now, would it?” Eric said.

“I guess not,” she replied.

But it was enough to bother Eric. Shelton. He didn’t recall anyone by that name at Cassie’s school, and he’d been there quite a few times. “I thought you had a female principal. Mrs. White, wasn’t it?”

“That was last year, Dad. Mrs. White had a baby, and she wanted to take some time off.”

“So Mr. Shelton replaced Mrs. White?”

“Yes, and he’s a—what’s the word? His wife died, and he’s a—”

“Widower?” Eric finished.

“Yes, that’s it. He has a son and a daughter, younger than me. Grandma says he needs a wife. I heard her and Mom talking about it.”

Eric watched Cassie push her food away, only half-eaten. “Why don’t you at least eat that applesauce, Cass. You love applesauce.”

“I used to love it. Now, it tastes gross.”

Something else he hadn’t known. Suddenly, Eric felt very alone. He wasn’t around enough to keep up with the changes that were happening with his children—or with Hope, apparently. Was she really interested in this Shelton guy who supposedly “needed” a wife? Or could it possibly be some kind of potential “arrangement”? No, she would never settle for something like that. Not Hope. Not after having known how good a real marriage could be. He glanced out the window. And theirs had been good, for a very long time.

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Cassie’s question drew his attention back to her, and he studied her pretty blue eyes so similar in color to her mother’s.

“Nothing, hon. What were we talking about earlier? Mom being on the golf team, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Cassie replied. “I wonder if those boys teased her about being the only girl?”

“In the beginning they did. But then she hit a three wood two hundred yards down the fairway to help them win a championship. That brought an end to the teasing.” Eric thought of the strong-willed attitude his wife often displayed. Hope wouldn’t have stopped playing on that team even if the teasing had continued. If she wanted something, she went after it. At least, she used to. Surely, life hadn’t changed her so much that she’d consider a relationship of convenience with a widower she barely knew. Had it?

“Can’t you and Mom stop being mad at each other? I know it was all because of me that you—”

“Cassie,” Eric gently interrupted her. “You know we’ve talked about this before. And your mom has talked about it with you, too. The problems between your mother and me have nothing to do with you. And we’re not really mad at each other. Not anymore.” At least, he wasn’t. But he knew it might take a little time to learn Hope’s feelings.

“Finished with your lunch?” a nurse asked as she entered the room. “How are you doin’ today, Mr. Granston?” she added when she noticed Eric sitting in the chair beside the bed.

“Fine, Trudy. Thanks,” Eric answered while watching her take away Cassie’s plate, still half-full of her noon meal. The dinner roll and the gelatin were all that had interested her.

“Now, look here, Cassie. You’re going to have to do better eating these meals or I’ll have to come in here and feed you. You got that?” Trudy threatened with a friendly grin.

“Are you going to be here tonight?” Cassie asked. “I like it best when you’re here.”

“I’ll be here for sure, hon. I’m working a double shift today. Now, you lie down and rest for a while. I’ll be back to check your temperature.” Then she turned to Eric. “Mr. Granston, why don’t you go on down to the cafeteria? I’ll keep an eye on your daughter for you for a while.”

Eric stood up and stretched his long legs. “I could use a sandwich and a cup of coffee. Cassie, maybe you can get to sleep if I’m not in here talking to you.” He ran a hand through his dark hair before leaning down to kiss Cassie. “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes, princess.”

Then he slipped out the door, stepped into an empty elevator and pushed the button for the lobby. Happy memories of wintry days and warm kisses in the snow had momentarily taken the edge off reality. He’d lost Hope, and getting her back was going to be difficult. If not impossible.

The elevator stopped, the doors came open and Eric came face to face with the very object of his thoughts.

“Hello,” he said and stepped out.

“Hi. I didn’t realize you were coming here,” Hope replied, looking startled to see him.

“This morning’s closing finished quickly, so I stopped by,” Eric replied. “Where’s Beth?”

“She’s still at school,” Hope answered as she tucked some hair behind an ear. “I only had to teach until noon today.”

Eric nodded. Then there was awkward silence between them. Now what? Eric wondered. Lunch, he suddenly remembered. “I’m going to get some lunch. Cassie is finished eating, and she’s resting right now.”

“Oh, well, maybe I’ll wait a while before I go up.” Hope readjusted the slipping shoulder strap of her canvas tote bag before it could slide down her arm. “She won’t rest at all if I walk in right now.”

“That’s probably true,” Eric said. “I’m on my way to the cafeteria for something to eat. Want to come along?”

Hope looked at him in what she knew was probably an amusing combination of surprise and skepticism. She couldn’t quite believe he was making the offer.

“You can go on up if you’d rather. I won’t be offended,” he added, then paused.

Hope smiled. “Actually, I’d like to talk to you about something. Maybe this would be a good time.”

Oh, no, Eric thought, what did she want to discuss? Did it involve a guy named Shelton? He pointed toward the nearby cafeteria. “Let’s go,” he said, and they walked down the hallway together in an uncomfortable silence until they entered the à la carte line.

“Coffee, please,” Eric requested of the waitress behind the counter. Then he ordered the special of the day: grilled cheese with a bowl of tomato soup, and coffee. Hope asked for the same, but with decaf instead of regular coffee.

Soon they were seated at one end of a long cafeteria table, eating together for the first time in months. “I don’t know, but I’m wondering if maybe we should have ordered something else,” Hope remarked after sampling a bite of her sandwich. “Grilled cheese in a restaurant is hardly ever as good as homemade.”

Eric watched a frown crease her forehead. “You’re probably right. But it looked better than the other choices.”

“That’s true,” Hope replied with a brief smile. “Maybe we should have chosen another place to eat.” Then her smile faded. Maybe she shouldn’t have said something that hinted at more than he’d offered. She hadn’t thought how it might sound until the words were out.

“Maybe so,” Eric agreed, easing the moment of tension he’d seen on her face. “You wanted to talk to me?” he asked. His curiosity was increasing.

“Yes,” she agreed, “I do need to discuss something about Beth with you.”

“She’s not sick—”

“No, no, Eric, it’s nothing like that. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Hope responded. “It’s just that, she’s becoming something of a discipline problem at school. I’ve been with Cassie so much lately, I didn’t notice Beth’s behavior. When I picked her up at school the other day, Greg Shelton, the principal, took me aside and filled me in on some facts I wasn’t aware of.”

Eric took a sip of his coffee. “And did Greg have some ideas on how to solve the problems?” Like spend the rest of your life with him, maybe? he thought unkindly.

Hope frowned in response to his question. “Do you know him?”

“No,” Eric said with a shake of his head. “But I’ve heard about him.” And about his needs as perceived by Grandma, Eric thought. “So, what did he tell you?”

“Beth has been sent to his office twice this month.”

“For what?”

“At first, she was repeatedly talking when she wasn’t supposed to, then she was disrespectful to another child. But then it progressed quickly to intentional disobedience when she started refusing to do what her teacher told her to do. She lost her recess every day last week without telling me, and the notes her teacher has sent home to me—Beth’s destroyed them! Greg is really worried about what this is going to turn into if we don’t take some action. Soon. And so am I.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Eric assured her. “But Beth is good at hiding her feelings, so it might not be easy to get to the bottom of this matter, even though I think we both know the root of it.”

“Her sister’s illness,” Hope said. “But Beth is more like you in temperament than she’s ever been like me. I’m hoping you can help her in some way I can’t.” Hope looked down at what remained of her lunch as she gathered her thoughts. “Grace told me about her plans for the cruise when I saw her a little while ago. She said they’re leaving tonight for Florida.” She looked up. Now for the difficult part. “I appreciate your willingness to stay with us while they’re gone.”

Eric stared into the gentle blue eyes that seemed even prettier now than in the years that had passed. “You don’t mind my being there?” he asked.

“Eric, it’s not easy for me to admit this, but I really need your help,” Hope replied.

He nodded. It wasn’t the answer he’d wanted, but it was an acceptable one—a place to begin. “I’ll do what I can, Hope. You know that.”

“I know, but…I must be doing something wrong with Beth. She seems to want to be independent of me, and yet, honestly, I think she needs more of me than she gets.” Hope blinked hard, and Eric knew she was fighting back tears. “Being here for Cassie, substitute teaching and taking care of the basics at your parents’ home is about all I can deal with these days, Eric. Beth turning into a disciplinary problem wasn’t something I’d thought would ever happen, but it has. And, I feel like I’m not doing a good job as a mother.”

“You’re exactly the mother she needs, Hope,” Eric stated quietly. He knew how hard she could be on herself. “But if she needs extra attention right now, then I’ll be there for her.”

Hope wiped her mouth on her paper napkin. “Just spend time with her, maybe help with her homework like you did yesterday, watch her play ball…anything like that would mean a lot.” She studied Eric’s face without smiling, and wondered how he could have stopped loving her. After all they’d shared together? Then she realized she’d been silent too long. “I—I want to thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for helping out with my own children—” he began.

“No,” she interrupted. “I mean, I really want to thank you. Since our separation, you’ve not neglected the girls at all. I was afraid that—” She stopped, knowing she might be entering territory better left alone.

“You were afraid that what? I’d not want to see my kids?” Eric prodded, his instinctive defenses kicking in.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Maybe I thought your new life-style would occupy too much of your time to allow room for the girls. I was very wrong.”

“You were,” he stated with a hint of a smile. “And thanks. It’s generous of you to admit it.” His words were spoken gently and prompted no more than a slight smile from Hope.

“Maybe we should go up to see if Cassie’s sleeping,” she suggested.

“Okay,” Eric agreed. “I’ve had about all of this grilled cheese I can handle anyway.”

“It definitely looked better than it tasted,” Hope commented as they both carried their trays to the trash can.

A walk through the lobby and an elevator ride up to the fourth floor were all that stood between them and their daughter. Soon they were back in her room where they found Cassie sleeping soundly.

Nurse Trudy appeared at the door. “She’s doing fine today. No fever at all.”

Hope nodded. “That’s great. Thanks, Trudy.”

“No problem, Mrs. Granston. I just like to keep the parents informed how the little ones are doing. Did you enjoy your lunch?” she asked, glancing toward Eric with a questioning look.

“The coffee was much better than the food,” he responded, laughing. Then he turned to Hope. “If you need me, try calling the office.”

“I will,” replied Hope. Eric leaned down to kiss Cassie’s forehead, then left for the real estate office to finish up the day’s business. He entered the hospital parking lot and he quickly located his truck. He’d have to find a way to work this out with Hope, he thought. And he’d have to do so on his own, he knew. After all, he hadn’t allowed God into his life for a very long time.

Some days, though, the idea of having a Heavenly Father to turn to again sounded good. Very good.

“It isn’t my fault if the teacher isn’t fair to me,” Beth complained. “She just doesn’t like me.”

Eric repositioned his arm around Beth as they sat at the head of her bed, talking. Discussing the discipline issues with her was going as Eric had thought it would. Not easily. Beth snuggled up close to him, and he kissed the top of her blond curls. “Mrs. Lindstrom likes you very much, Beth, and I’ve heard you talk about what a great teacher she is.”

“But now it’s different.”

“How?” he asked.

“Just different. You know, because Cassie is sick again,” Beth replied, fidgeting with the blue-satin bow on the teddy bear that sat next to her on the bed. “Do you think I’m too old to keep Brown Bear around?” she asked as she gave the stuffed animal a fierce hug.

“No, not if you still want him, sweetheart.” Eric sat quietly, pondering what he should say next. The problem seemed to be less about what was taking place at school than what was taking place in the rest of Beth’s life. “Honey, Cassie is sick again, that’s true. But it shouldn’t change how you feel about your teacher, how your teacher feels about you…or your behavior in the classroom.”

“But it’s just that—Cassie was Mrs. Lindstrom’s favorite student ever,” Beth emphasized. “I might as well not exist.”

“But Mrs. Lindstrom has kept you after school to go for ice cream, you’ve been to her apartment to meet her husband and see their aquarium. She hasn’t spent time with all the children like that, has she?”

“I don’t know,” Beth answered. “I just know it’s ‘Cassie, this’ and ‘Cassie, that.’ ‘How is your sister feeling, Beth? Will she be coming home soon? Tell us how she’s doing today.’ Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!” She burst into tears and buried her face in her father’s side.

Eric’s arms closed around her a little more tightly. “And it makes you angry because sometimes you want it to be Beth she asks about.” He spoke softly, and she nodded her head while continuing to sob. He sighed. “Mrs. Lindstrom may really be trying to make you feel important by letting you share with the class about your sister’s hospital experiences. It doesn’t mean she loves Cassie more than she loves you, honey.”

“Oh, yes, it does!” Beth cried. “Stuff about Cassie is always more important than stuff about me. Always!”

How was he going to help her find her way through this situation? Maybe he needed a different approach. “It’s hard being the youngest kid in the family, isn’t it?” he remarked. This was something he could identify with. “I was the youngest in my family, too, only I had a sister and a brother older than me. Sometimes that wasn’t any fun at all.”

Beth’s crying began to ease a bit, and she raised her head to study her father’s face through eyes reddened from rubbing. Then the hiccups started; they quite often followed one of her crying spells. Eric smiled as he thought of Hope. Sometimes, the same thing happened with her.

“Really? You were—the—youngest?” Beth hiccuped.

Eric nodded. “Still am. Always will be,” he added. “Of course, neither one of them was seriously ill when we were growing up, so it’s not quite the same as your relationship with Cassie.”

“But, did some of the teachers like Uncle Rob or Aunt Angela better?”

“Yes,” he answered. “My brother and sister were both better students than I was. And much less of a discipline problem, too.”

“You mean, you got into more trouble?”

“Sure did. I’d hate to think how many times your grandmother was called to school over something I’d done.”

Beth laughed between hiccups. “Did she spank you?”

“Sometimes. But as I got older, the punishment changed to being grounded.”

“Like not being allowed to have a friend over to play?”

“Yes, something like that. You see, Rob and Angela were the ones the teachers always liked. By the time I came along, they’d already assumed I was going to be a problem.”

“Did that make you mad?”

Eric shrugged. “Kind of, I guess. But I got used to it over the years. Then, one day, a teacher I really liked—”

“What was her name?”

“Mrs. Flowers.” Eric could still picture that dark-haired older teacher in his mind. “I accused her of liking Rob and Angela better, and she informed me that wasn’t true at all. That she’d always liked me the best, and if I felt that she didn’t like me, that was my own fault for thinking that way. Sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment by expecting disappointment.”

“Since you thought the teacher liked them more than she liked you, you felt real bad. Even if she didn’t really like them one bit better.”

He nodded his head and squeezed his little girl affectionately. “Exactly. You’re as special and unique as Cassie is. It’s just that, since she’s sick, she gets the most attention sometimes. Not just from Mom or me, but from teachers and neighbors and friends, too. None of that means you are loved any less than your sister.”

Beth’s young face clouded over again as more tears rose to the surface. “I love Cassie so much, Daddy, but sometimes…I just get so mad at her.”

Eric reached for a couple of tissues and tenderly wiped some trickling tears away. “Because sometimes she seems like the only important person around here?”

Beth nodded and melted into her father’s embrace as the sobbing returned. “She is, sometimes, isn’t she? Because she got hurt and sick and stuff?”

“No,” Eric said emphatically. “She’s never more important than you, hon. Never. It’s just that, sometimes she needs us more at the moment than you do. I know all of this is difficult for you to sort out because you’re so young, but your mother and I love you just as much as we love Cassie. Every bit as much. We always will.”

“Even when I get so mad at her? She can’t help that she’s sick and everybody asks about her.”

“It’s okay to feel that way sometimes. Everyone does,” he explained.

Just then, Eric heard a noise. Glancing up, he saw Hope standing in the doorway with windblown hair and her jacket still on, having just returned from the hospital. She sent Eric a slight frown and a worried look, but he shook his head. He mouthed the words “She’s okay” to relieve her concern.

“If Cassie. dies, I’ll never forgive her,” Beth blurted out between sobs, surprising both of her parents with her words. “Never!”

Eric hugged her snugly against him and rocked back and forth in a soothing motion, wanting to calm her fears. “Cassie’s nearly well, honey. She’ll be home soon, and things will be back to normal. She’s not leaving us.”

“But I want her home now. Nothing’s the same without her. There’s a place in my heart where she fits,” Beth said.

Hope’s hand flew to cover her mouth and silence the cry that threatened to slip out, and Eric’s eyes stung with hot, unshed tears. He kissed the top of Beth’s head and cleared his throat roughly before he could speak again. “Beth, sweetheart, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

Hope blinked several times, fighting the tears welling up in her own eyes. Then she entered the room. “Beth?”

The little girl raised her head to see Hope smiling at her. “Mom,” was all she said as she moved from her father’s arms into her mother’s. Their fierce, clinging hug left Eric with an odd twinge of emptiness. Beth loved him deeply—he knew that. But for the girls, at times, there was no place like the comfort of Hope’s arms. Eric understood that. Sometimes, he felt that way, too.

“You okay?” Hope asked in a whisper against Beth’s soft hair as she closed her eyes and held her daughter close to her heart.

“Yes,” Beth answered. “Daddy and I were just talking about Cassie and Mrs. Lindstrom and stuff.”

“Stuff,’ huh?” Hope teased. “Sounds important.”

“Very,” Eric commented. He stood up, suddenly feeling out of place. “But now that you’re here—”

“No, Daddy. Don’t go. Stay with us for a while,” Beth pleaded. “He doesn’t have to go, does he, Mom?”

“No, he doesn’t have to go.” She turned her gaze to Eric. “Maybe he could come downstairs with us and have some hot chocolate. Okay?” she added.

“Okay, Mom.”

Hope allowed Beth to slide out of her arms, and they started toward the stairs.

“Marshmallows?” Hope asked as she rummaged through a kitchen cabinet. “Where would Grandma keep the marshmallows?”

“Right beside the honey on the top shelf. See it, up high?” Beth was pointing to the package.

“Ah, yes, I do,” Hope responded, stretching to try to grab the cellophane bag.

Eric reached past her, easily retrieved it, then placed it on the counter in front of her.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You’re welcome,” he answered, reaching for cups in the cupboard above the sink. He glanced over at her, wondering if she would drink hot chocolate with them. She had always been the healthy eater in the family, avoiding too much of anything —including chocolate and milk. But he didn’t need to ask. Hope had guessed his question.

“Yes, I’ll have some, too,” she said with a playful smile. “I’m not the picky eater I used to be. I’ve changed some over the last year.”

“We probably both have,” Eric remarked. But he lost his train of thought while studying her delicately carved features and those pretty eyes of cornflower blue. Being around Hope, he knew, wouldn’t be easy. That’s why he’d avoided her for much too long. Because of difficult moments just like this when her mouth curved into one of those gentle smiles he remembered so well. Being near her and not touching her was quite a balancing act. He placed three mugs on the counter and moved away from her to join Beth at the table. “Did Cassie feel better tonight?” he asked to break the silence.

“Yes,” Hope responded. “She really had a lot more energy.” Hope poured milk into the cups and placed them in Grace’s microwave. “Believe it or not, she asked if she could stay alone tonight—first time ever. I told her I’d come home to see Beth, then go back over to the hospital to say good-night and to see if she’d changed her mind.”

She reached out to tug on a lock of her daughter’s light hair, prompting a halfhearted complaint.

“Mom! Stop!”

“All right,” Hope replied. “You really should be asleep, you know? Maybe Dad will tuck you in tonight.” Hope raised her eyes to meet Eric’s gaze—a gaze that seemed to linger on her. “That way I can get back over to the hospital quicker.”

“You stay home with Beth,” he offered. “I’ll go back to the hospital to check on Cass.”

Hope’s expression looked…grateful, he finally decided. She was probably relieved at the thought of enjoying the luxury of a good night’s rest. Not that it was anyone’s fault but Hope’s that she was staying at the hospital too much. Eric stayed whenever Hope agreed to it, which was seldom.

“Thank you,” she said quietly. “I could use the time here at home.” Then she looked away from Eric and into the cups she had retrieved from the microwave. She then added chocolate to the milk. Home. That word kept popping up in her mind. Why? Probably because Eric was around so much. She set a cup in front of each of them and joined them at the table. Staying here with Ed and Grace could not last long. No, she knew that was out of the question. Ed’s health wasn’t good enough for them to stay here indefinitely. And these were Eric’s parents, not her own—although there were times she nearly forgot that fact. Sometimes she almost wished she didn’t love them quite so much, didn’t feel as comfortable as she always did in their company. Eric’s family had become her family over the years. And that would be difficult to let go of.

“Hope? Are you okay?” Eric asked, his words suddenly cutting through her thoughts and returning her to the present.

“Yes, sorry. I guess I let my mind wander. What were you saying?” She met Eric’s eyes, dark with concern.

“I was asking if the doctor said he might release Cassie soon?”

“Yes, this morning he said that she might get out in a couple of days.” She took a sip of her drink and silently wished she had added a few marshmallows to her own cup. “Beth, would you hand that bag to me?”

Beth complied, and Eric watched in obvious amusement as Hope added a handful of the white fluffy sweetness to her cocoa.

“There couldn’t be much nutritional value in there, Hope,” he remarked to the wife who throughout their marriage had preached the hazards of too much sugar.

Hope shrugged. “The hot chocolate in the vending machines at the hospital has marshmallows in it, and I’ve gotten used to it. Hot chocolate doesn’t taste right without them now.” Kind of like life without Eric, she mused.

Eric excused himself from the table and stood up, delivering his empty cup to the sink. He kissed Beth on the temple. “I’m going to the hospital to see my other little blondie,” he said with a smile that faded as he looked from Beth to Hope. He saw the weariness in her eyes, and it worried him more than he’d say. “Get some rest, hon—” he began, then stopped. But it was too late. He turned his head to look away from the awkward surprise he’d glimpsed in her wide-eyed expression. The mistake had surprised him, too. “‘Hope,’ I mean,” he corrected, trying to bring a quick end to the embarrassing moment. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

“Thank you,” she said, and nothing else. But one corner of her mouth tipped up into a half smile as she watched him leave. “And thank you, Lord,” she whispered. Maybe things weren’t as hopeless as they sometimes seemed.

Eric shook his head in frustration after he walked out of the room. How could he let a term of endearment like that slip out so easily? But he already knew the answer. He still thought of her in that way—that’s how. Eric grabbed a jacket from the coatrack near the door, and stepped out into the chilly night air. She was the mother of his children, the best friend he’d ever had…and the woman he loved and wanted. They’d been happy before; all they needed was the chance to begin again. They both deserved to be happy, didn’t they? Surely, God wouldn’t deny them that. Eric glanced up at the black sky as though he could see straight through to God Himself. No, Eric corrected himself, he would never again speculate on what God would or wouldn’t do. He’d seen where that had taken him once before in life. Once was enough.

* * *

“Hi, princess,” Eric greeted Cassie as he entered the familiar hospital room. He gently grabbed a small foot through the soft yellow blanket covering her legs.

“Dad, hi!” Her face lit up when she saw him, and nothing pleased him more.

“So you want to spend a night by yourself, huh?” he asked, pulling her into a brief, but warm embrace. Then he reached for the old green chair he’d grown accustomed to sitting in during this hospital stay.

“Isn’t Trudy here now? I can’t believe you want to stay all night alone if your favorite nurse isn’t on duty.”

“She’s here. She just went to get me some cookies and juice for a bedtime snack. Go home, Dad. I’m ready to try it alone.” Cassie’s smile had a guilty edge to it.

“What’s up with you?” he asked.

“It will be good for you and Mom to both be home tonight. Together. In the same house. Don’t you think?” She giggled.

“So, that’s the motive,” he responded, grabbing her foot and tickling it while she laughed. “I knew there was something going on in that smart little brain of yours. You think your mother and I need help with our relationship?”

“Dad, I think you need all the help you can get.”

Then it was Eric’s turn to laugh. Mostly in surprise. “Thanks a lot for your confidence in dear old Dad,” he remarked, then took more serious note of what Cassie was implying. “I can’t promise things will work out with us. Be patient. We’ll see how it goes.”

“Do you still love Mom?”

“Yes, Cassie. I’ll always love your mother.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “Always.”

Now, all he needed was a way to prove it—to the girls, and to Hope.

Chapter Three

“How can you let them treat you that way, Hope?” Eric’s words had been quiet, but firm. He’d returned home to find Hope in the middle of a long-distance telephone conversation with her mother. And he hadn’t liked the part he’d overheard. “You deserve better than that.”

“You handle your parents your way, and I’ll handle mine my way,” Hope replied. Discussing her relationship with her parents was never easy with Eric. He always defended her too much, sided with her more than she felt he should. Didn’t he understand her motivation for any of this?

Eric studied her determined expression. Her sapphire eyes were as fiery as her temper, and she was. just as beautiful angry as she was at any other time. He had to force himself to concentrate on the subject of their discussion: her relationship with her parents. “You let them walk all over you. Tell them what you think about their attitude. Tell them not to say those things—”

“Don’t,” Hope said, and lifted her hand as if she could stop his words. “We don’t need to talk about this. It always upsets you.” She turned, thinking that leaving the room might be the best thing. She didn’t want to argue with him, and Eric didn’t seem to understand her reasoning at all. But as she moved to leave, she was stopped inadvertently by a surprised Grace, who had heard their exchange of words.

“Excuse me, Grace. I’m going to bed,” she said. She longed to hurry past her mother-in-law and escape to the solitude of her bedroom, but Grace’s hand closed gently around Hope’s forearm.

“Wait, just for a moment. Eric, why are you so hard on her?” Grace asked gently.

“Don’t, Mom,” Eric warned. “This is something Hope and I have never agreed on, and you don’t want to get yourself into the middle of an old argument.” He looked at his wife, but she didn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry if I offended you, Hope. I just hate to see you hurt by them.” Then he looked back at his mother. “Her parents don’t like me. They never did,” he explained. “I guess that makes me overly defensive when they do something hurtful.”

Hope stood silently beside Grace, listening to Eric’s comments. Her teeth sank into her lower lip as she considered her parents’ discontent with most areas of her life. It had been a long time since she’d thought of how unkind they had been to her husband over the years when he had been nothing but considerate and respectful to them.

Eric continued. “I can accept their feelings toward me, but why Hope allows them to make hurtful comments about the way she lives her life, I really don’t understand. I think that if she stood up to them, just once, they’d be so shocked by it, they might back off for a while.”

Grace released her gentle hold on Hope and pulled out a nearby kitchen chair to sit down. She looked from her son to her daughter-in-law, each standing on opposite sides of the kitchen, both looking as if they’d prefer being someplace else.

“Eric, I’m sorry my mother and father have been so unfair to you.” Hope shook her head regretfully. “There was nothing much I could do about it. From the time we were kids—the more I loved you, the less they liked you.”

Eric stared at her, clearly surprised by her admission. “I wasn’t looking for an apology.”

“But you deserve one,” she replied.

“I just want you to stand up for yourself once in a while,” he said. “Deference to their position in your life is one thing, but listening to their constant faultfinding is too much. You’ve been polite and kind to them for as long as I can remember.”

Hope was about to respond when Grace intervened on her behalf.

“Do you think it’s easy to be kind, polite, even loving to people who are hateful? People who pay little attention to your feelings, your choices in life? How do you think Hope feels when her folks take off on one of their tirades against Christianity, or against you and your marriage?” Grace’s questions stung; that was apparent from Eric’s downcast expression.

“Mom, I really think she has a right to defend herself.”

“And say what? That they’re narrow-minded, sharp-tongued people who ought to open their eyes and see her for who she is? A lovely, young Christian mother whose doing a fine job of raising two children, by herself?” Grace emphasized the last two words.

Hope was tired of the struggle she’d known with her parents, but she certainly didn’t feel worthy of Grace’s compliments. She’d made more mistakes than she would ever want to own up to. Especially to Eric. “Grace, please—”

“Let me finish, dear,” Grace interrupted. “Do you think it’s weakness that keeps her quiet when she is told how disappointed they are with her?” her mother-in-law asked.

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