His Perfect Family

All rancher Luc Cramer’s ever wanted is to someday have a family of his own. And from the moment he meets five-year-old orphan Henry, he’s determined to give the little boy a home and a father. So the good-looking cowboy enlists his neighbor Holly Janzen to help him with the adoption process. As she spends time with Luc and adorable Henry, she knows she’s losing her heart to them. But once Luc finds out Holly’s long-held secret, will he still see her as the wife and mother that she is clearly meant to be?

“What if I do or say the wrong thing?” Luc said hesitantly.

“Henry isn’t my son yet. What if I do something that damages my case? What if I somehow hurt him or make a mistake with him? I couldn’t stand that.”

“Luc, nobody is born knowing how to be a parent. It’s trial and error for everyone.” Holly smiled, hoping to ease his anxiety. “Come on, Luc. You’ve talked about adopting Henry. Now’s not the time to get cold feet. In fact, this is probably the perfect time to try the things you want to do with Henry when you adopt him. Show him what you love,” she said quietly. “He’ll love it, too.”

“I guess that’s my biggest fear,” he admitted. “Maybe Henry won’t like my life.”

“Are you kidding? Cowboys are Henry’s heroes. He’s going to dive headlong into whatever you show him. But if he doesn’t, you’ll find something else, right? Because Henry is the son you’ve always wanted.”

Without warning, Luc leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her forehead. “You’re a good friend, Holly.”

She gulped, utterly unnerved by that soft kiss and yet deeply moved that this strong, competent man needed her. It took a second to get her happy-go-lucky mask in place so Luc wouldn’t see how deeply he’d affected her.

LOIS RICHER loves traveling, swimming and quilting, but mostly she loves writing stories that show God’s boundless love for His precious children. As she says, “His love never changes or gives up. It’s always waiting for me. My stories feature imperfect characters learning that love doesn’t mean attaining perfection. Love is about keeping on keeping on.” You can contact Lois via email, loisricher@yahoo.com, or on Facebook (LoisRicherAuthor).

Rancher Daddy

Lois Richer

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Let Him have all your worries and cares,

for He is always thinking about you and

watching everything that concerns you.

—1 Peter 5:7

This book is dedicated to children young and old who have ever felt abandoned, alone and unloved. You are not. God loves you with a love so deep no human love could touch it. If you let Him, He will fill your heart and soul so that you never again need to feel you’re on your own.

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

About the Author

Title Page

Bible Verse

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Dear Reader

Extract

Copyright

Chapter One

Holly Janzen loved her early-morning ride home after a night shift on the hospital’s pediatric ward. Especially now that spring had crept into the valley where Buffalo Gap nestled in the foothills of the Alberta Rocky Mountains. With the sun just cresting, the town lay bathed in the rosy hue of May’s promise. The best part was that morning signaled a fresh start, untouched by the horrible memories of her past.

Holly gaped at the twenty-foot photo of her own face pasted to a huge billboard in the center of town, her heart sinking as she read,

Holly Janzen. Buffalo Gap’s citizen of the year.

Why did they keep doing that? Several times a year Mayor Marsha Grant and the town council did something that featured Holly as the town’s poster child for success. Years ago they’d granted Holly, the girl voted most likely to succeed, a scholarship to earn her nurse practitioner credentials in Toronto. The mayor and the rest of the town never heard the truth about those years down east and how un-poster-child-like she’d behaved, because nobody in Buffalo Gap ever saw past the good-girl image of her childhood. To them Holly Janzen was a role model they wanted their own kids to emulate.

As if!

Tired of the never-ending guilt that memories of those years in Toronto always brought, Holly shoved them away and focused instead on the sight of the newly renovated hotel that now housed Family Ties, an adoption agency two friends had set up to help kids who needed homes. But unlike most days, this morning Holly gave the place more than a yearning glance.

This morning a child sat on the steps that led to the front door.

A horn sounded behind her, a short beep, just enough to let her know someone didn’t appreciate her pausing in the middle of the street. Holly identified the rusty brown half-ton truck in her rearview mirror and smiled. Luc Cramer, aka Mr. Just In Time.

Luc had come to her rescue many times but especially during her father’s illness and after his death three months ago. He’d continued as Holly’s ranch manager leaving her free to focus on her work as the community’s nurse practitioner which often meant she helped pregnant moms deliver healthy newborns. A side benefit of that was that she got to work with moms-to-be at Family Ties.

Holly mostly accepted what Luc suggested in regard to the ranch and so far it was working out great. The only negative side was that whenever Holly voiced her concern that Luc wasn’t benefitting as much as she was from the arrangement, he brushed her off.

Now Holly thrust her hand out of her car window, pointed to the boy on the steps then steered hard left, crossing the street to pull into an angled parking spot in front of Family Ties. Two seconds later Luc’s truck pulled in beside hers as she jumped out of her orange jeep.

“Holly, you can’t just stop in the middle of the street and then pull across it like that,” he began in that quiet but pained tone he sometimes used, which carried a kind of big-brother resignation.

“What are you doing in town so early, Luc?” she asked.

“Just coming home from Calgary.” He smiled at her arched eyebrow. “No, I wasn’t partying, I was trying to help a friend who’s going through a messy, painful divorce.”

“That’s nice of you.” She tilted her head in the boy’s direction. “Who’s this little guy?”

“No idea. Let’s find out.” Luc followed Holly as she hurried forward. She was aware of him but her focus centered on the little boy in worn-out jeans and a tattered red hoodie sitting in front of Family Ties. Big black glasses made him look like a wise owl.

“Hi, honey,” she said in a soft voice, crouching down to meet the child’s gaze. “What’s your name?”

“Henry.” He blinked huge brown eyes at her then his gaze shifted to Luc. “Are you a real cowboy?” he asked in awed tones.

Holly turned to see Luc’s slow, easy grin slash across his handsome, tanned face.

“Real as they get, partner,” Luc said in a drawl that reminded her of some Hollywood star in a bygone Western movie. When he hunkered down beside Holly, his elbow brushed her arm, sending an electric charge up it as he thrust out a hand to shake Henry’s.

Holly noticed the contact with her hunky foreman because it caused her stomach to do that shaky dance. But she couldn’t figure out why that was. Luc was a friend but nothing more. That was the way she wanted it.

“Pleased to meet you, Henry. I’m Luc and that’s Holly.” Luc smiled then quietly asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting.” The boy reached up to touch the brim of Luc’s jet-black Stetson, the one Holly had only ever seen Luc remove for church and funerals. But this morning the cowboy took off his hat and set it on the boy’s head. Henry’s eyes widened. “I wish I had one of these.”

“Maybe one day you will.” Luc shot Holly a look that asked for help.

She nodded. They needed to find out more about this boy so they could figure out what to do next.

“Are you waiting for someone special, Henry?” Holly asked.

“Uh-huh. The people who work here.” The boy jerked a thumb over one shoulder. “They find families for kids. I want one.”

Nonplussed, Holly glanced at Luc, who stared right back at her, his brown eyes crinkling at the corners with his lazy grin. That was Luc—laid-back, comfortable in his skin and always in a good mood. When she arched an eyebrow at him he simply shrugged. Obviously he was waiting for her to continue the investigation.

“What’s your last name, Henry?” she asked.

“Brown. Henry Brown.” His little chest puffed out. “I’m five and three quarters.”

Five and three quarters. He was almost the same age as her baby... Holly gulped at the memories of that tiny innocent child and instead concentrated on what Henry was saying.

“Last night I stayed with this lady—Ms. Hilda.” Henry’s big brown eyes narrowed. His lips pressed together as he scrunched up his nose so his glasses would move back in place. “She snores.”

“I see.” Holly shot Luc a look meant to stifle his snort of laughter. She guessed Henry was one of the many foster kids from Calgary for whom Mayor Marsha often agreed to find temporary care.

Holly considered phoning the mayor but hesitated. Marsha was still recovering from complications after her second knee surgery. Maybe Abby Lebret, owner of Family Ties, would be a better choice. But it was barely 6:00 a.m. and if Abby’s young twins hadn’t yet woken her, she wouldn’t appreciate an early-morning call, either.

“I want a family,” Henry said with a glance over one shoulder, his voice and face as serious as a little old man.

“Me, too. Are you hungry, Henry?” Luc’s grin flashed at Henry’s emphatic nod. “Hey, me, too.”

“Well, what’s new about that?” Holly grumbled, irritated that her ranch manager didn’t seem to be taking the situation seriously. “You’re always hungry, Luc.”

“Sounds like maybe you are, too, Miss Cranky,” Luc teased, his eyes as warm as his smile. “Long shift, huh? What say we go get some breakfast?”

“Luc, you can’t just take him—”

“Can I have pancakes? I love pancakes,” Henry asked, his voice beseeching.

“Pancakes it is.” Luc straightened. “We can come back here, Holly. When Family Ties is open,” he added when she frowned.

“Well, all right,” she agreed. “But we’d better phone Hilda first. She might be missing Henry.”

“She’s prob’ly still snoring.” Henry’s tone was utterly serious.

Holly had to turn away to hide her smile. When she did she bumped into Luc. He grasped her arms to steady her, which set her heart on a gallop.

“Whoa there, little lady. You must need some food if you’re swaying on your feet.” His hands dropped away but his gaze never left her face. “Did you forget to eat your lunch again?”

“I ate an apple around midnight,” Holly said, avoiding his gaze. “I can take care of myself, Luc.”

“Oh, I know that,” he said, nodding, though his next words belied that. “But you do forget to eat when you’re on night shift. Come on. Let’s go to Brewsters.” He swung his arm around Henry’s shoulder. “They have the best breakfast,” he said in a low voice.

“They have the only breakfast at this time of the morning,” Holly corrected, noticing how easily Henry and Luc had bonded. Feeling left out, she dialed Hilda’s. When there was no answer, she left a message on the machine then followed the two males while wondering how Luc knew she usually forgot her lunch.

He knew because he was always there for her.

Luc’s being there had started the day he’d purchased the land adjoining her dad’s Cool Springs Ranch. It continued after Holly’s dad got a terminal diagnosis and elected not to fight his lung cancer. Marcus Janzen had chosen instead to live out his days at home. Since her mom had long since abandoned her daughter, husband and Cool Springs Ranch, Holly was the only one Marcus had left. Because she loved her dad dearly she’d focused her time and efforts on making his final days perfect, with Luc’s help.

Marcus and Luc had become fast friends the day after Luc moved in to the neighboring spread three years ago. He’d shown up at Cool Springs that evening to ask Marcus about a sick steer. He’d come a hundred times since, eager to learn all he could about ranching from Holly’s very knowledgeable dad.

Maybe that’s why it had seemed normal for Luc to “help out” as he put it, when Marcus fell ill. Luc did the chores her dad couldn’t, sold the cattle Marcus wanted to part with and even sheared the sheep Marcus had just begun raising. After Marcus died, Luc kept coming back, kept helping out. And Holly had been glad of it, especially after Family Ties opened and, as the local nurse practitioner, she was called on to assist with several births.

“You must be daydreaming about something wonderful,” Luc whispered in her ear when she passed through the door he held open. “Your smile couldn’t get bigger. Something good happen?”

“Yes.” She sank into a booth across from Henry. She smiled at him then faced Luc. “This morning I made a decision. I’m going ahead with the renovations on the house. I intend to make the extra bedroom into a full-blown sewing room.”

She’d decided to go ahead because this morning the very thought of always having to clear off the dining table so she could sew the baby clothes she sold online seemed daunting. The extra bedroom was the perfect space; it just needed a few modifications.

Holly grimaced. Was it her good-girl image that made her try to gloss things over? Truthfully, that room needed a lot of modification if it was going to help her grow her business.

But Holly didn’t tell Luc that. Nobody in town knew about her business and that’s the way she intended to keep it. Getting dumped the day before her December wedding had generated enough gossip in Buffalo Gap to last a lifetime. She sure didn’t need the town thinking she was so heartbroken and desperate to have a child that she now poured her soul into making baby clothes for other moms because she’d lost her chance to be a wife and mom.

“Holly?” Luc’s touch on her arm roused her from her introspection. “Pancakes and sausage? That’s what Henry and I are having.”

“No, thank you.” Holly made a face. “The very last things I want are heavy, syrup-drenched pancakes and sausages before I go to sleep. I’ll have dry rye toast, two scrambled eggs and tea, please,” she said to Paula Brewster. They shared a smile before Paula left to place the orders.

“Pancakes are good,” Henry told her seriously. “Way better than eggs or cereal.” He lost his serious look for a moment when Luc held out a hand to high-five him. But the gravity returned almost immediately. “When do I get my family?”

Holly didn’t know how to answer. It would be nice to say “not long,” to reassure the boy, but the truth was that neither she nor Luc knew anything about Henry and whether or not Family Ties could help him.

“That’s a hard thing to answer, Henry,” Luc said seriously. Holly liked the way he didn’t brush off the boy’s concern or make promises he couldn’t keep.

“Why?” Henry’s big brown eyes looked into Luc’s trustingly, waiting for an answer.

“Because families are hard things to build,” Luc told him. He grinned. “Look at me. I don’t have a family yet.”

“Don’t you want one?” Henry thanked their server for his glass of milk, took a sip then leaned back in his chair to hear the answer.

“Definitely.” Luc nodded. “But finding a family isn’t easy. I grew up without my own family. Instead, other families took care of me.”

“Did you like that?” Henry asked.

“Mostly I did. I was safe,” Luc said after a moment of thought. “I had a place to sleep, good food to eat and nobody hurt me. It was okay.”

“I want a family to love me.” Henry’s earnest tone matched his solemn face. “I prayed to God for it.”

“That’s the best thing you could do, Henry.” Holly waited until Paula had served their food before she continued. “God loves us. He wants to give us what we most want. You just keep praying for a family.”

“Do you have a family?” Henry studied her seriously.

“Not anymore,” Holly explained quietly, setting down her fork as she spoke. “My dad died three months ago. He was all the family I had.”

No way would she include her mother as family. Since the day she’d walked out, Holly barely gave the woman a thought and certainly not in terms of motherhood.

It struck Holly then that she’d done a much worse thing than her mother had done. The familiar burden of guilt that always accompanied thoughts of her baby settled on her spirit once more.

“I’m sorry.” Henry reached across the table and enfolded her fingers in his. “I’ll ask God to get you and Luc families, too.”

“Thank you, Henry,” Holly said, greatly humbled by his strong faith. “You’d better eat your pancakes while they’re hot.”

While Henry dug into his food, Luc bombarded her with questions about the changes she wanted to make to the farmhouse where she’d been born.

“Be more specific. What exactly do you want?” he pressed.

“I want more electrical outlets for one thing,” Holly specified. “I want wide countertops to cut out fabric. I want better lighting so I can work at night if I’m on the day shift. I want lots of storage space and room for my quilting frame. If I get called in, I want to leave my sewing as is and pick up where I left off when I return.”

“Shouldn’t be hard.” He shrugged.

“Good, because the dining table doesn’t cut it anymore,” she told him with a grimace. “I’m tired of making do.”

“So am I,” Luc said in a low-throated tone. “I’m really tired of that.”

Holly stared at his serious face, confused by his words. But before she could ask him to explain, her phone rang. Mayor Marsha, who knew everything that happened in town, had already talked to Hilda about Henry. Pushing off her need for sleep, Holly agreed she and Luc would bring Henry to meet Marsha in the mayor’s office in half an hour. Luc nodded when she told him then picked up their earlier conversation.

“I’ve never seen whatever it is you spend so much time sewing.” He studied the green scrubs she still wore from her shift at the hospital, his gaze resting on the label on the chest pocket. “Not those, I’m guessing. Are you helping with more quilts for Family Ties? I heard the intent was to give one to every woman who uses the services of Family Ties to adopt out her child.”

“I am helping with that.” Holly wished he wasn’t so curious. “But that’s not exactly what I want a sewing room for.”

It was silly trying to evade the question because Luc never let anything go until he had an answer. That was the way he’d been the whole time he’d been learning ranching from her dad, and Holly doubted he’d ever change. His curiosity was innate. He was one of those people who asked and probed until he received a satisfactory answer. She thought Henry had the same trait.

“I could understand if you were still making your wedding dress.” Luc squinted out the window, watching the town come to life. “But you don’t need that anymore, do you?”

“Even if I did, it’s too late,” she told him defiantly. “I cut it up the day Ron dumped me.”

“But you could use it someday,” he protested.

“I am not getting married, Luc. Even if I were, do you honestly think I’d wear a wedding dress I chose to marry someone else? I assure you, I would not. But I repeat, I’m not getting married. Ever.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Ever? That’s pretty harsh.” Luc raised an eyebrow then inclined his head toward her plate. At her nod he picked up the last slice of her toast and smeared jam over it. “Surely one day—”

“Never,” Holly repeated. “I’m too independent.” She glanced at him through her lashes as she fudged the truth. “I prefer to be single.”

He shot her a look that questioned her statement.

“Don’t worry. I put that wedding dress to good use. There are some really nice curtains in the living room at Family Ties.” She burst out laughing at his startled look, hoping to hide the hurt that snuck up on her occasionally, ever since the day Ron had told her he wouldn’t marry her.

That’s what comes of keeping secrets.

“You’re a good sport, Holly. I like that about you. Though I can’t say I have such high regard for the man you chose to marry.” Luc’s voice tightened. “Ron Simard was a first-class jerk to walk away from you like that.”

“He had his reasons.” If Luc knew what she’d kept hidden from her fiancé until a few days before her wedding, Holly was pretty sure he’d have agreed wholeheartedly with Ron’s decision to turn tail and run.

Luc had lost his family and frequently spoke of his desire for an heir. How could he ever understand her decision to give away the infant she’d birthed while she was in training?

“So your new sewing room doesn’t have anything to do with Ron?” he pressed, nudging her from the past with its guilty secrets.

“Not at all! Sewing is my hobby, Luc, a way to be creative and a total change from my work,” she explained. “It lets me achieve some of my dreams. Aside from the cost of the renovation, it shouldn’t impact the ranch budget too much. Okay?” She stared at him, one eyebrow arched.

“If you’re asking my permission, I certainly think it’s okay if you make a sewing room out of your extra bedroom,” he said, pushing away his empty plate.

“I wasn’t asking your permission,” she shot back, irritated that she’d felt compelled to explain but even more annoyed that she’d let him get to her. He knew it, too, judging by the smile flickering at the corner of his lips.

“If that’s what you want. I might even offer to help you do the renovation.”

“Really?” She frowned. “I thought you’d be too busy with ranch stuff. You keep asking if I’ve done it yet, but you’ve never actually offered to help me clean out Dad’s trunk.”

“That’s different.” Luc had the grace to look embarrassed. He turned, grabbed a napkin and wiped Henry’s syrup-spattered cheeks. “I don’t want to push in on your personal affairs,” he muttered.

“Luc, you already know everything there is to know about Cool Springs Ranch,” Holly pointed out, surprised by this sensitivity.

“There might be something personal in there that you don’t want to share. Did you ever empty it?” He did look at her then.

“Not yet.” Holly couldn’t shake the feeling that Luc was hiding something. “I’ll get to the trunk. Eventually.”

“Good. Anyway, renovating is different than going through personal stuff. Sort of.” He nodded then shook his head. “Or maybe not.”

“Definitive answer,” she teased as she studied him, confused by his response. Luc was never uncertain. “You’ll help me with the renovation and I suppose you’ll expect me to help you with something in return. What?”

“I’m not sure yet.” He tilted his head just the tiniest bit to the left where Henry sat silently watching them. Holly frowned, prepared to push for an answer but Luc shook his head.

She shrugged. Let him have his secret. Goodness knew she had her own and she hated it when anyone tried to push her into saying something she didn’t want to.

“Can we get my family now?” Henry asked.

“It won’t be that simple, Henry,” Holly warned. “It’s a long process to find a family. Besides, we’ve got another fifteen minutes before we’re supposed to meet the mayor.” His sad expression touched her. He must be very lonely. With a spurt of inspiration she asked, “Where did you live before, Henry?”

“In Calgary. In a shelter. My brother took care of me.” For the first time the boy’s composure fractured. A big tear plopped onto his cheek. “Finn can’t take care of me anymore because he’s in prison. He told me he didn’t do it but I think he did steal the money from the store and it’s my fault.”

“How could it be your fault?” Luc asked, touching the boy’s shoulder gently.

“My teacher said I need new glasses. But I shouldn’t have told Finn because he didn’t have any money to buy them.” Henry’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I asked him anyway.”

“You couldn’t know what Finn would do,” Holly said, hugging Henry close for a moment. “It’s not your fault.”

When Luc didn’t add his voice to the comment, Holly glanced up and found him staring at her and Henry, his brown eyes almost black with intensity.

“What?” she murmured, discomfited by his look.

“I just had an idea.” A slow grin moved across Luc’s face, accenting the handsome ruggedness. “Henry, here’s some money. Could you go pay the bill?”

Delighted by this sign of trust, Henry scooted out of the booth and across the café.

“Why did you do that?” Holly liked that Luc was an open book. He didn’t hide his thoughts or pretend to be anything but what he was—a cowboy. He was honest and straightforward and she knew she could count on him. So when he leaned toward her, Holly smiled, expecting a joke.

“In return for helping you with your renovations, I would like your help,” Luc said.

“With what?” Surprised when he beckoned to her to move closer, Holly leaned toward him.

“With adopting Henry.”

* * *

Luc winced when Holly’s eyes widened then flickered with disbelief. What was so surprising about him wanting to adopt Henry? She studied him until Henry came back then turned her focus on the boy, watching as he first handed Luc the change and then began scribbling on his placemat with the pen he’d given him earlier.

“Henry,” she said softly. “Mrs. Brewster has some toys over there, in the box under the window. Would you like to play with them for a few minutes until it’s time to leave?”

“Okay.” Henry shifted out of the booth, paused to study them through his big round glasses. “You and Luc should make a family.”

“Uh, I don’t think so.” Holly avoided Luc’s glance until Henry walked over to the toy box. “Where did he get that idea from?” Her beautiful blue eyes now had silver sparks in them which shot his way. “Never mind. Were you kidding about adopting him?”

“Why would I?” Irritated that Holly would think he’d joke about such a serious subject, Luc clenched his hands on the leather bench. Why shouldn’t he be a father to this needy boy?

Holly’s glossy brunette curls, caught up in the ponytail she always wore to work, shone red-gold glints in a flash of sunlight coming through the window. She always looked lovely to him, but with the pink flush of annoyance now staining her cheeks, she was stunning. And she distracted him.

“You can’t adopt Henry.” Her voice had the sharpest tone he’d ever heard.

“Because?” Luc leaned back in his seat and waited, formulating arguments in his mind, ready to shoot hers down while wondering what was wrong with the usually happy Holly.

“You make it sound like it’s a done deal, just because you’ve decided. Adoption’s not that easy.” Holly fiddled with her teacup.

“How do you know?” Funny how she didn’t look at him now. Instead, she hid her gaze by staring at the uneaten food on her plate. Luc’s radar was alerted, but he waited for her to speak.

“I’ve seen and heard stuff at Family Ties. There are procedures to go through. Isn’t it time to leave?” Holly sounded almost desperate.

“We’ve still got several minutes,” he said, wondering why she hadn’t looked at her watch. It hung from a gold pin near her shoulder. Luc knew she did that because she’d once told him she disliked wearing anything on her wrist. He knew a lot about Holly. “What kind of procedures do I need to go through, Holly?”

“Uh, well...” She leaned back, obviously searching for an answer. “I don’t know. Maybe start by learning all you can about adoptions. Check out support groups for adoptive parents or conferences where you can learn what to expect, what others have gone through, how to handle certain problems.”

“Sounds like that would take a long time.” There was something funny going on. Uncomplicated, straight-shooting Holly wouldn’t look at him.

“Of course. Adoption is a long process,” she said hurriedly. “You’re adopting the child for life so it would be better to learn as much as you can before you act.”

“I suppose.” Luc nodded. “So what else do I need to know?”

“This isn’t my specialty, Luc. I’m a nurse practitioner not a social worker.” She sounded frustrated. Must be lack of sleep.

Luc knew ordinarily Holly would be tucked up in bed by now. She always gave her best at work but she worked doubly hard when she was on night shifts and especially when children fussed and seemed to need extra attention. Most mornings he watched her return home utterly worn-out.

“You’re tired. Never mind,” he said, sorry that he’d bothered her when she was spent.

“You should talk with Abby Lebret.” Her voice sounded calmer. “She’s the social worker who runs Family Ties and she’d know how to proceed.”

“That’s a good idea.” He stretched out his booted feet and bumped hers. “Sorry. I suppose someone will visit my place, make sure it’s all right for a child to live there?”

“I’m sure that’s part of a home study,” Holly told him. “But I doubt you’ll have just one meeting. It’s—I mean I think it’s more like a series of meetings and it gets pretty personal. Or so I’ve heard,” she added, ignoring his surprised look.

“I’d expect to be investigated.” Luc wondered where she got her information and then decided it must be from Family Ties. Abby and Holly were good friends. “I’d want them to get all their questions about me answered so there wouldn’t be any mistakes that would mean they’d take Henry back.”

“I guess that’s wise. But, Luc, there’s no guarantee Henry is even adoptable.” Holly’s smooth forehead pleated with her frown. “He might already be a candidate for some other family or it may be that he’s not eligible for adoption.”

“He is. I just know it.” Luc couldn’t explain how he knew Henry was supposed to be his son. He’d struggled for the past year trying to figure out God’s will for him. Surely having Henry show up as he had, asking for a family, was a sign God’s plan was for Luc to be a dad to Henry.

“I imagine Henry has a child worker assigned to him. I guess that person will be your first hurdle.” Holly tried to hide a yawn behind her hand but didn’t quite succeed. “I think we’d better get over to Marsha’s office before I doze off.”

“It’s time.” He waited while Holly collected Henry then walked to the door. “Are you going to stay awake through this?” he asked when she tried to smother another yawn.

“I can give you another half hour,” Holly promised. “But then I am going to crash.”

“Thanks, Holly. You have no idea how much this means to me.” Luc reached out and squeezed her shoulder. With Holly on his side, he couldn’t possibly fail to get his son.

Chapter Two

“Henry has no home. I don’t see what’s wrong with bringing him to my place to stay until the adoption goes through,” Luc said as he took a seat at her dining table.

Holly watched as the tall, lean rancher gulped down a mouthful of the coffee she’d just poured, disregarding her warning that it was hot. Coughing and sputtering, he raced across the dining room to the kitchen sink and downed a glass of cold water. He made a series of silly faces as he tested his scorched mouth.

She tried but couldn’t quite stifle her laughter at his antics.

“It’s not nice for you to laugh at me, Holly,” he reproved her then added, “Certainly not something the town’s wonder girl would do.”

“Oh, lay off that nonsense,” she said, losing her good mood. “I’m not that wonderful and the town would know that if they really knew me.” Sobered by his words she reminded him, “It’s only been a week since you met Henry and you’re still treating adoption just like that hot coffee. I warned you it was hot just as I warned you it wouldn’t be easy to adopt Henry.”

“I never thought it would be easy.” Luc flopped back down in his chair and stretched out. “I just didn’t think it would be a lesson in fighting bureaucracy.”

“Please keep your boots away from that bag of fabric.” Holly’s warning came a second too late. “This is exactly why I need a sewing room,” she complained in an exasperated tone as she freed a piece of frilly lace from the toe of his boot.

“Sorry. I know I promised I’d work on a sewing room in exchange for your help, Holly. I’ll get to it soon.” He took the lace from her and studied it. “What is this for anyway? A hair bow?” He peered at it then studied her head. “Since when do you wear pink? You hate pink.”

“It’s not a hair bow and it’s not for me,” Holly told him, snatching the delicate lace from his fingers. “I’m going to sew it on a gift I’m making.”

“Another baby gift?” He leaned over to study the fabric pieces lying on the table. “Looks like a jigsaw puzzle but I can tell it’s for a girl. You sure do have a lot of new moms as friends.”

“I deliver babies. It’s my job to know the moms. I like to give them a little gift after their baby’s birth.” Holly flushed and looked away.

Shame on me for fudging the truth.

But how else could she explain without telling him about her online business? And Holly didn’t want to do that. If Luc knew he’d probably pass on the information and soon the whole town would be talking. She couldn’t bear to hear the gossips.

Poor jilted bride. That’s why she makes baby clothes, you know. Because she doesn’t have any children of her own.

If they only knew that she’d once held her own precious child in her arms and then given him away to save her father’s reputation.

Since it was Holly’s week off, Luc had made a habit of stopping by unexpectedly for coffee, ostensibly to discuss the work he did on her ranch. Somehow the conversation always turned to adopting Henry. A couple of times he’d caught her with her work spread all over the dining table. Well, it wasn’t as if she could just scoop everything into a box whenever he appeared.

“I probably shouldn’t have bothered you about this again,” Luc apologized. “But I wondered if you’d given more thought to selling Cool Springs Ranch?”

“Not again.” She rolled her eyes. “Luc, you’ve asked me that a hundred times since Dad died. I told you on Monday that I wasn’t interested in selling any of Dad’s land. Today is Thursday and I’m still not interested.”

“It’s not your dad’s land anymore, Holly,” Luc said in a somber tone. “It’s yours.”

“Yes, but he worked so hard to acquire this land and his herd,” she said softly. “He wanted me to have a birthright.” Which should have gone to his grandson. “I wouldn’t feel right selling off any of it.”

“Okay.” Luc sighed. “But when you do decide, you’ll give me first dibs, right?”

“If and when,” she promised.

“Good enough.” He wrinkled his nose at the brightly striped fabric she was about to cut. “That looks like clown material,” he said then added, “Have you got time to go for a ride?”

“Now?” Holly paused, her scissors frozen in midair. She looked up at him and frowned. This was about the ranch; it had to be important. “What’s wrong?”

“I’d rather show you than explain,” he said. “Then I’ll come back here and you can show me exactly what you want in your sewing room.”

“Fine.” Resigned, Holly put down her scissors and shut off the pattern mill in her brain. If she had a bigger, more private work space, she’d be able to accept more orders and finally pay off the last of the bills leftover from her dad’s illness. It was the only debt she owed him that she could repay. Nothing could ever make up for the love and care he’d showered on her all her life.

Except perhaps the grandson he’d never known.

“Holly?” Luc touched her shoulder. “Would you rather wait?”

“No. Let’s go.” She mentally shook off the past, knowing the guilt would return again later, when she was alone.

“It’s the north quarter. We’ll have to ride.” Luc glanced at her bare feet and raised one eyebrow. “I think you’re going to have to cover those,” he jibed.

Holly glanced down and giggled.

“One of my Sunday school students gave me this polish,” she said, wiggling her toes. “She said her mom thought it was too old for her.”

“It’s too something,” Luc agreed, unable to stifle a laugh.

Holly laughed with him. Luc always had that effect on her, she thought as she pulled on her socks and riding boots. He was a very good friend who coaxed her to enjoy life. She enjoyed having him around.

They took the shortcut to the north pasture, past Luc’s house. Holly slowed to a stop and squinted into the sun below the brim of her hat, waiting until he’d reined in beside her.

“What’s that in your yard, Luc?”

“I’m restoring a truck and needed some parts so I had the garage tow in a couple of wrecks.” He must have seen something in her face because he asked, “Why?”

“You’re still determined to adopt Henry?” she asked, even though she knew he was.

“Of course. Why not?” Luc glanced at the yard then back at her. “What’s wrong?”

“I think that whoever comes to check out your place will see those old cars and parts as a potential hazard for a kid Henry’s age,” she said gently. “You can still restore your vehicles but maybe not in front of the house.”

“It’s handy when I have a few minutes after dinner,” he explained. “I can walk out the door and work as long as the light’s good, but you’re right. I wouldn’t want Henry poking around where there’s a lot of rust and jagged edges.”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, knowing how much he loved to restore vehicles.

“Don’t be.” Luc twisted to look at her, his grin back in place. “That’s exactly the kind of thing I want your help with, Holly.”

“Did you talk to Abby yet?” she asked. “She might have some weight with the government if Henry is in the care of Family Ties. Or even if he’s under other stewardship.”

“Abby told me Henry’s only been in foster care since his brother went to prison, but that he hasn’t been able to settle in anywhere. Apparently he doesn’t like foster care and keeps asking for a forever family.” Luc chuckled. “His case worker in Calgary was relieved Abby agreed to temporarily oversee his care while he’s staying with Hilda Vermeer.”

“He’s still there, even though she snores?” Holly asked, tongue in cheek.

“Apparently there is a lack of foster homes right now. When he argued about staying with Hilda, Abby said she had to be very forceful with him to get him to understand that he’d never get his family if he didn’t give her time to find it. Henry then said he’d wait a little longer.” Luc laughed. “He’s such a solemn, determined kid.”

And you already love him, Holly thought, her heart pinching at the trouble that might lie ahead for Luc. And yet, she had only to think of the joy he’d experience as a father, joy she’d missed out on, joy she’d denied her dad.

“Henry reminds me of you sometimes,” she said, not realizing she’d voiced her thoughts until Luc’s eyebrows arched.

“Me? How?”

“His purpose, the way he won’t give in, his certainty about what he wants from life. And his eyes. Henry’s eyes are exactly like yours. Are you sure you weren’t married and had a child you didn’t tell anyone about?” Holly teased.

Luc’s face tightened. “Never married,” he said firmly. “Never will. Some people, like you for instance, should be married. Some, especially if they’re like me, shouldn’t.”

“Why not?” Surprised by the comment, Holly rode closer and tapped him on the arm. “Luc?”

He remained silent for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer. She’d thought Luc simple and carefree until now. Her questions about him multiplied.

“I always intended to get married.” He pulled his horse up when they came to the stream that divided their properties and dismounted. “That had been my dream since I was a kid, to someday have a wife and a family. A home. I thought with them I’d be able to make up for the family that I’d lost when my parents died in the car accident.”

“And now you can’t?” Holly’s heart ached for the little boy he’d been and the grief he’d had to go through after losing the only family he’d ever known.

“I think maybe with Henry I can have that dream,” Luc murmured thoughtfully.

Holly appreciated the way Luc held her horse’s harness so she could dismount, even though she’d been riding since she was five. There was something nice about having Luc do those polite things that made her feel cherished, special.

She sat down on a rock by the creek bed and waited while Luc fastened both horses to a tall poplar tree. He pulled two cans of soda from his saddlebags and a sack of nuts.

“I thought it’d be nice to take a break here,” he said after handing her a soda. He folded his long lean length next to her then set his Stetson on a rock. His short dark curly hair glistened in the sun.

Luc, Holly suddenly realized, was a very handsome man.

“I love this spot. It’s so peaceful.” His voice rumbled quietly through the little glade. “It makes me think of God.”

Holly sipped her drink and waited for him to continue. She, too, loved this spot and often came here to pray for forgiveness.

“This year I let go of the marriage part of my dreams,” Luc told her, his face inexpressibly sad.

“Because?” Holly could hardly contain her curiosity.

“Because it wasn’t realistic.” A self-mocking smile stretched his mouth. “I thought love and marriage meant forever.”

“And they don’t?” Holly wanted to hug him when he shook his head. His face reflected his disenchantment.

“A month ago the woman I’d just proposed to told me she didn’t love me enough to leave Calgary and move out here—to the back of beyond I believe she called it.” Luc said it coolly, without emotion, but Holly saw the sting of rejection in his eyes.

“Oh, Luc. I’m so sorry.” Holly frowned. “You never told us you were engaged.”

“You and your dad had enough to deal with. Your canceled wedding and his illness took up every spare moment.” His gaze rested on her, brimming with compassion. “My problems didn’t matter.”

“Of course they did. If you’d told us, we would have celebrated your happiness, even thrown a party.” Holly pinched her lips. Luc grinned.

“Yeah, probably not a good idea,” he said. “Too much to explain when we split up.”

Holly couldn’t suppress an oddly disquieting sensation at the knowledge that Luc had been contemplating marriage. She looked at him now with new eyes. Luc as a husband?

“Surely one breakup is no reason to give up on love and marriage,” she said.

“It wasn’t just one woman,” he admitted in a low voice. “But this one hurt the most. Being rejected like that takes the starch out of you. It takes a while to get your feet back under you.”

“Tell me about it,” she muttered drily.

She wondered why she hadn’t known he was in love. Then again, why wouldn’t he be? Luc was very handsome, kind and generous, with faultless manners. Any woman would be fortunate to be loved by him. “I’ve been having second thoughts about marriage for a while,” he volunteered.

“Why?” Holly hoped he wouldn’t tell her to mind her own business.

“Several years ago I stood up at the weddings of several best buddies, guys with hearts of gold who’d gladly give you the shirt off their backs.” Luc fiddled with his soda can. “I’d never seen them as committed as when they married their wives. They were determined to make it work, ready to put their all into it. Later they all had kids and seemed so happy. I envied them.”

Holly said nothing, giving Luc time to gather his thoughts.

“I didn’t know those marriages weren’t even close to perfect. Now, one by one, each is ending in divorce.” Luc swallowed. “The morning we found Henry I’d just come from my friend Pete’s. He’s the latest casualty.” His face was troubled.

“Talk to me, Luc.” Holly heard a world of pain in his stark words. He needed a friend and for once she wanted to be the one to help him.

“When I saw him, Pete was devastated, sitting in his truck, a shell of himself. He’s lost his wife, his kids, his home. The love I envied five years ago is gone.” He shook his head. “It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen.”

“I’m so sorry.” The depth of his dejection touched her. “But that doesn’t mean your relationships will fail. You just haven’t found the right woman yet.”

“I don’t think love has to do with finding the right person, Holly. I’m not even sure there is a right person for me to find.” Luc looked at her, his eyes dark. “Love is something you give, freely, unreservedly. How do you put your world together when the person you loved no longer wants you?”

“I wish I had the answer.” Holly prayed desperately for words to soothe his stark hurt but couldn’t find them. How could she help her friend?

“I’m no expert.” His forehead pleated in a frown. “By everything I saw, those marriages should have worked. But my friends lost love and their dreams.”

Holly felt stunned by Luc’s desolation. She wanted him to expel the rejection from his heart so it couldn’t hurt him anymore. As if! In five months she hadn’t expelled Ron’s accusations. Not yet. Not completely. “Go on, Luc.”

“Sarah told me she didn’t want to marry me after we’d been seriously discussing our future for several months.” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe it. “We’d even decided to get married in Tahiti because she said Buffalo Gap was too ‘primitive.’”

That should have been a warning sign, Holly thought, but she kept silent.

“I agreed to almost all the conditions she set until she wanted me to sell my ranch.” Luc smiled grimly when Holly reared back. “She told me she could never move here, so far from the city and her friends.” Luc’s face bore a pained look as if it hurt to admit the rest.

“I get the picture,” Holly muttered, wishing she’d met this woman so she could have told her what a great guy Luc was.

“I didn’t. Not until I insisted on keeping the ranch.” His lips pinched together.

“Oh, Luc.” Holly could almost guess the rest.

“She called Buffalo Gap Hicksville and hinted nothing here could possibly live up to city life. She said she wanted a husband to be proud of. She made fun of me for loving ranching, said I was wasting myself on cattle.” His face telegraphed his sense of betrayal. “She said she wanted a husband to be proud of, not some guy smelling of manure, stuck in a mindless routine of chores.”

“It’s a good thing she broke it off,” Holly burst out angrily. “Because if she hadn’t, you would have. She would never have worked as a ranch wife.”

“No, she wouldn’t.” Luc nodded. “But that’s when I understood that I was just like my buddies. I gave everything to Sarah and she threw it in my face. That’s when I knew that whatever I’d felt for her wouldn’t survive the test of marriage. She hated everything I stood for. I made a mistake loving her.”

“I’m not sure loving someone is ever a mistake. Love’s not the problem,” Holly mused.

“No, judgment is,” Luc said. “My heart blinded me, which is bad enough. But my poor judgment is what scares me.”

The sting of his admission reached deep inside Holly. Luc was one of the best men she knew. She didn’t want him to hurt like this.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, knowing it wasn’t enough.

“Now I know how you must have felt when Ron walked away, Holly. It’s like being a kid again and having my world torn apart.” His hands fisted at his sides and pressed against his worn denim jeans. “I will never go through that again.”

“You can find someone else. There’s nothing saying your marriage has to end like your friends’ marriages did.” Holly wished she knew how to help him.

“There’s no guarantee it wouldn’t. Sarah fit all my requirements for an ideal wife. That’s why I started dating her. But I saw the outward beauty and missed what was inside. If we’d married and then split, it could have cost me the ranch...” His voice trailed away.

Love had cost Holly a great deal. She had no advice to erase the wistful sadness on Luc’s face.

“I’ve accepted that I’m never getting married so it’s a moot point now. But I refuse to give up all my dreams,” he said sternly. “I am going to have a son. That son will be Henry.”

“Luc, I—” Holly stopped when his fingertips covered her lips.

“Don’t say it, okay?” he begged, his voice soft, intense. “I need this dream so badly.”

Holly frowned, wanting to understand.

“You don’t know what it’s like to suddenly lose your home, your family, everything. You’re a little kid that no one cares about.” Luc’s intensity grabbed her heart. “I made do, I pretended, I fit in as best I could and concentrated on getting through.”

Holly could see him in her mind’s eye, a little boy, like Henry, pretending all was well, not making a fuss in case the family he was with asked to have him removed. And then at night, after the lights went out and he was alone in his bed, she could see him tear up, yearning for someone to say I love you, Luc. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you.

That was the legacy her father had given Holly after her mother had left without saying goodbye. Pain stabbed her heart that Luc had lost that security. How could he not want to adopt Henry as his son and begin building his family?

“Dreaming of having a child was the one thing that kept me going through five very rough years in the oil fields.” His face tightened. “I did some things, accepted some dangerous jobs on the rigs so that I could earn enough money to buy my ranch. I want to make a legacy, to reinstate the Cramer name as something to be proud of. I want to pass something on to Henry. He is the son I’ve longed for. I can’t let go of this dream, Holly.”

As his hand slid away from her face, Holly blinked at the loss rushing through her. She was heart-sore for this kind, generous man who only wanted simple things—a family, a home. Things other people took for granted.

“Then if that’s your dream we’d better make sure there’s no reason to deny appointing you as Henry’s guardian, hadn’t we?” she said finally. Her heart thudded at the joy exploding across his face.

“Thank you, Holly.” Luc’s smile made Holly’s breath catch.

Why did she suddenly have such a strong reaction to him? Because she’d seen past the carefree persona he presented, to the man inside.

Luc was her best friend. Neither of them was willing to trust enough to love again. What they had in common only heightened their friendship. It was good to know nothing between them had changed.

And yet somehow it had. Holly now understood what drove Luc, comprehended his intense desire to make his ranch into a home, to adopt Henry. Luc would never walk away from that relationship. Somehow Holly knew he was trustworthy as surely as she knew her own name. Luc was a man of honor. In her life Holly had only ever known one man whom she’d found truly honorable and that was her dad. But Luc came in a close second.

Suddenly, unbelievably, Holly rejoiced that Luc had not married Sarah. She didn’t deserve him.

You can’t get close to this man, her brain warned. Not unless you’re willing to share your secret with him.

That inner voice unsettled her. “I guess we’d better go see what’s bugging you up north,” she said, needing to do something to escape her thoughts.

“Okay, but I’m warning you,” Luc said as he rose and held out a hand to her. “Next time we come back here, I’m getting in that water.” He nodded to the creek. “And I’m bringing Henry one day, too. Next to raspberry pie, swimming is my favorite thing.”

He drew her upward too fast. Unprepared, Holly bumped her head on his chin. Good thing. She needed to snap back to reality because for a moment she’d seen herself in the picture, splashing Luc and Henry in the creek, as if she belonged there.

* * *

“I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who cooks like you.” Luc held up one macaroni, bloated and tinged pink. “Who taught you to cook the tomatoes with the pasta?”

“Dad.” She smiled at him, her sun-tinted face uplifted. “Don’t criticize until you taste.”

“Right.” Luc popped the pasta into his mouth then held up his hands. “I stand in awe of you, Holly. You manage to make everything taste great.”

“For your information I draw the line at cooking liver. I don’t care how good they say it is for you.” She giggled at his gagging motions. “I see we agree on that.”

Luc nodded. “We agree on a lot of things.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“We both like to eat.” He snatched a radish from the salad.

Holly swatted his hand away but truthfully he thought she’d enjoyed the camaraderie they shared today. Luc wasn’t sure he should have dumped his sad story all over her, but he needed her help with Henry and to get that, he’d felt compelled to explain his reasons for wanting to circumvent marriage. Maybe he’d let her see a little too far into his heart but he knew he could trust her. Holly was like a soul mate.

“So what will we do about those missing cattle and the ruined fences you showed me?” she asked after she’d said grace.

“I’ll go up into the hills tomorrow and find those cows if it takes all day. But I need to figure out something to take the place of those fences where that steer was injured.” He took a large helping of the macaroni and two pork chops, his stomach rumbling as he inhaled the delicious aromas.

“I guess it’s been ages since Dad installed that fence.”

Holly showed surprise when he told her the date he’d found in her dad’s ranch notebooks. “That long?”

“Yes. They’ve been repaired once too often. We need something else. There are coyotes in those hills and our cattle are too valuable to serve as their food.” He paused. “Unfortunately, building a more solid fence means I’ll have to cut down some of those gigantic spruce you planted with your dad.”

Holly rose to get the teapot. When she returned to the table a tear glittered on the end of her lashes. Luc knew she was remembering happy times she’d shared with Marcus, and missing him. How he hated causing her pain.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix it, Holly.”

“You always do, Luc. Thank you.” Her gaze locked with his and in that instant he wondered if he should have embraced her. That’s what Marcus would have done, and Luc had promised him he’d make sure Holly was taken care of. “You’re a good friend.”

Friend. His heart sank a little. Was that all he was? Some kind of long-distance acquaintance who never made it into the family circle? Luc chided himself. Holly and Marcus Janzen had always made him feel a valued part of their lives. From the moment he’d stepped onto their Cool Springs Ranch, Luc had felt at home. What more did he want?

More.

“What’s that funny face about? Does my cooking taste that bad?” Holly asked in a worried tone.

“It’s delicious,” he reassured her. “I thought your dad was a good gardener but you’re even better. Lettuce, onions, radishes—that’s good for early June.”

“I’m not just the town superstar you know,” Holly teased with a self-mocking grin.

“Apparently not. What else have you got planted?” As far as Luc was concerned, Holly was as pretty as cotton candy, inside and out. He figured any man should be more than happy to forgive her for anything. Her fiancé obviously hadn’t seen it that way. Again Luc wondered what had gone wrong between them.

Holly talked about gardening for a while. As she did, Luc studied her. She’d changed from her jeans and shirt into a pretty blue sundress that brought out her eyes. Her orange-tipped toes were bare again in a pair of comfortable-looking sandals. Her hair wobbled in a topknot that he expected to tumble down over her shoulders any second. She looked like the perfect rancher’s wife. For somebody.

Though Luc could envision Holly as a wife, he couldn’t settle on which of the available local guys would be the best candidate for her husband. Any of them would be lucky.

“You deliver a lot of babies,” he blurted. “Have you ever thought about having your own?”

Holly’s hand paused halfway to her lips. Her head went back and she gaped at him as if he’d asked where she’d buried her secret treasure.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he apologized. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? “I just thought that you’d naturally dream about your own kids and—”

“I’ll never marry, Luc. I told you that.” Her voice sounded hoarse as she set her fork back on her plate.

“You don’t have to marry to have—”

“I’ll never have children,” Holly cut him off for the second time, exhaled and forced a smile. “I’m one of those women who don’t have the motherhood gene.”

“Not true.” Luc speared a noodle and held it up for examination. Something was wrong. “I’ve seen you with your Sunday school class. Pretty sure you’re what they call a born mother.”

Holly said nothing. A moment later she jumped up from the table and began making tea.

“I’m sorry. I guess your mom probably turned you off motherhood, huh?” he guessed, coming up with a reason for her jumpy behavior.

“My mother?” She turned to frown at him. “She never stuck around long enough to make much of an impact on me. It was Dad who was most hurt by her leaving.”

“Really?” Unsure whether or not to continue, Luc pressed on, curious about her response. She was hiding something or else he didn’t know this woman at all. “You were what—seven?”

“Almost eight. So what?” Holly returned to the table, completely forgetting the tea. She leaned her elbows on the table and crossed her arms as if to put a barrier between them. “She wasn’t around here much even when she was supposed to be. Dad was the one who met me when I got off the school bus. As I said she didn’t have an impact on me.”

“Holly, it’s okay to admit it.” Why was she so adamant? “I imagine all kids would miss their mother if she suddenly wasn’t there.”

“Well, I didn’t miss her. Her absence never mattered because I had Dad. I always knew I could count on him.” Her shrug signaled the end of that topic. “I drew a rough sketch of what I want in my sewing room. I’ll show you after dessert.”

“Dessert? Why didn’t you tell me? I wouldn’t have eaten so much.” Luc let it go for now, but was determined to find out what kept Holly from admitting she missed her mother.

* * *

“I think it’s very doable,” Luc said after examining the bedroom she wanted renovated. “The costliest stuff will be the cabinets and countertops you put in.”

He’d barely stopped speaking when Holly’s cell phone rang.

“Hey, Abby. It’s late for you to still be at work.” Holly waited for her friend to explain. “He what?” She glanced at Luc and frowned. “Yes, I’ll go look right now and I’ll get Luc to help, too. I’ll call if we find anything.”

“Look for what?” Luc asked when she’d hung up, following her into the kitchen.

“For whom and it’s Henry,” she said as she kicked off her sandals and pulled on her boots. “He left Hilda a note.”

“A note? Can Henry write?”

“It’s kind of a picture note. Did you invite him to come to your place?” Her heart sank at his nod. “Well, apparently he decided to do that this afternoon, against Hilda’s specific instructions. Some kids on their bikes saw him heading out of town earlier. He never came home for dinner. Hilda’s frantic.” She grabbed her jacket. “I’ll saddle up Melody and ride her cross-country.”

“Why cross-country?” Luc asked in confusion.

“Because the kids I mentioned told Henry the shortest way to your place was through Parker’s Meadow.” Holly watched Luc’s face blanch. “What?”

“I put Ornery Joe in there yesterday,” he said very softly. “That bull is mean. If Henry goes near him...” His words died away. They both knew the little boy didn’t have a chance if the bull decided to charge.

“Let’s go,” Holly said.

“It wasn’t an outright invitation to Henry,” Luc said as he followed her outside. “It was just an offhand invitation like, ‘You’ll have to come see me.’”

“He’s a little kid, Luc. He takes everything literally.” He looked so upset Holly touched his shoulder. “Pray. Hard.”

“I need to do more than that.” Luc’s face was tight with strain. He slapped his Stetson on his head. “How can I help?”

“Take my vehicle and go by road. Your truck can’t handle the deep ruts as well as mine can,” she explained, forestalling any argument. It was funny how they seemed able to anticipate each other. “Maybe Henry stuck to the road and didn’t go for the shortcut. I hope. And, Luc?”

He’d been walking toward her jeep but now he stopped and turned, a question on his face.

“If you find him, you call 911 immediately so they can call off the search teams. Not me, not Abby but 911. Okay?”

Luc nodded, a perplexed look on his face. “Of course.”

“Good. Pray hard, Luc.” Holly didn’t take the time to explain. Instead, she raced across the yard to the barn where she saddled Melody and galloped across the fields, scouring wooded nooks and crannies for a little boy in a red-hooded sweatshirt who just wanted a family.

“Henry is Luc’s dream,” Holly prayed as she rode. “Luc’s a good man. He’s trying hard to be Your child.” The reminder of Abby’s words this afternoon sent a frisson of fear up her spine.

The case worker from Calgary is suggesting that Luc coaxed Henry out to his ranch after Hilda insisted they both wait for the visit till the weekend.

“Luc wouldn’t do that. He’s a wonderful man. He’d make a great father for any child,” she whispered. “Please keep Henry safe and work this out so Luc won’t be blamed. He was only trying to help Henry.”

Holly spurred Melody to go faster. She had to find Henry; she had to make sure Luc didn’t suffer for his eagerness to have the little boy in his life. As the wind dragged through her hair, Holly took shortcuts she hadn’t used since she was a girl. Luc’s words, filled with pathos, rolled through her mind.

Sarah said she wanted a husband to be proud of.

Silly woman. As if Luc wasn’t that man! Fury spurred Holly on but she couldn’t escape the echoed intensity of his words.

Henry is the son I’ve longed for. I can’t let go of this dream, Holly. I just can’t.

In that moment Holly decided she’d do whatever it took to help Luc realize his dream. She would never have another child, but Luc was going to adopt Henry if she had anything to do with it.

Chapter Three

He’d left his phone at Holly’s!

Heart in his throat, Luc climbed the fence and moved forward while speaking constantly to Ornery Joe. From the corner of his eye he saw Holly arrive, slide off her horse and creep from tree to bush, edging ever nearer Henry who sat crying atop a big stone, the bull directly in front of him.

“Come on, you miserable grouch. Move over here. Leave the boy alone.” Ornery Joe cast him a disparaging look, dug in one hoof and snorted before his gaze returned to rivet on Henry. For the first time since he’d become a Christian, Luc clung desperately to his faith. “God, we need Your help here.”

Every so often the wind tossed Holly’s words to him.

“You stay there, Henry. Don’t get down. Don’t even move,” she said in a calm, even voice. “Luc and I will get you out of here but you have to stay still.”

“I don’t want to stay here,” the boy sniffed. “I don’t like that old cow.”

“That’s not a cow.” Luc could hear amusement thread Holly’s tone. “That’s a bull. It’s a boy cow.”

“I still don’t like him.” At least Henry’s voice had lost some of its sheer terror.

“He doesn’t like you much, either,” Holly told him. “Or me,” she added when Ornery Joe lurched to his feet and lumbered around Henry’s stone to take after her. Fleet-footed Holly scooted across some open ground and climbed a tree. “He sure doesn’t like me at all. Get out of here, you grumpy old man,” she yelled to the bull.

Luc had found nothing in Holly’s jeep with which to entice the bull, except for a half-eaten package of chips. He rattled the foil bag now to draw Ornery Joe’s attention.

“Here, boy,” he called. “Here’s a treat for you.” He scattered the chips on the ground then looked toward Holly. “When he comes toward me, take Henry and run.”

“What about you?” she called, her gaze intent on Ornery Joe who was watching them, swinging his big head from side to side.

“I’ll be fine. You take care of Henry.” Luc crackled the bag again then held it up, hoping the breeze would carry the smell of the chips to the animal. Sure enough, Ornery Joe lifted his head, sniffed then began to walk toward him. “Go,” he said to Holly, hoping she’d hear him since he kept his voice low to avoid distracting the bull. “Go now.”

In a flash she’d jumped down from her perch, picked up Henry and raced across the pasture to the gate.

Seconds later, certain she and Henry were safe on the other side, Luc backed up as Joe advanced. When the animal lost interest in the chips and glared at him, he turned and bolted, vaulting to freedom before Ornery Joe could get up enough speed to charge.

“You okay?” Holly called.

He nodded. “Just another pair of torn pants,” he told her. “I caught them on a nail when I went over the fence.”

“I’ll mend them.” Holly dialed 911 and said she was bringing Henry to town. Then she made another call. “We found him, Abby. He’s fine. We’ll meet you at Hilda’s.” Seconds later she slid her phone in her pocket before hunkering down to stare at Henry. “I’m mad at you,” she said sternly.

Henry’s eyes widened.

“Since when do you disobey the lady who’s taking care of you? Poor Hilda’s worried sick,” she scolded. “That’s rude and also wrong when she specifically told you she’d bring you to visit Luc on the weekend.”

“I didn’t want to wait,” he said with a pouty look.

Interested to see how Holly handled this, Luc remained still and listened.

“Do you think Luc wanted to wait to have you for a visit? He didn’t but he knows you can’t always have what you want when you want it.” Holly studied Henry, her severe look not dissipating. “Sometimes you have to be patient, Henry. Otherwise you end up in a heap of trouble, like you just did. That bull is very dangerous. You could have been hurt and all because you couldn’t wait.”

“I’m sorry.” Henry’s lower lip trembled and he ducked his head.

“I hope so. Luc risked his life to get you out, do you know that? If Ornery Joe had been really angry, he could easily have charged Luc or me.” Holly paused a moment to let her words sink in. “Ms. Hilda knows about Ornery Joe. I’m sure that’s why she wanted you to wait until she could take you to Luc’s.”

“I didn’t know that.” Henry sounded the tiniest bit belligerent. That didn’t faze Holly.

“Of course you didn’t and you didn’t ask, either, did you?” When Henry shook his head, Holly made a clicking noise. “That’s the thing, Henry. We all know you want a family and we’re trying to help you, but you have to trust us.” Holly brushed the hank of hair off his forehead. “We can’t always tell you every single thing that’s happening. You need to believe we’re doing our best for you and be patient. Okay?”

He nodded slowly. “Are you still mad at me, Holly?”

“A little. You scared the daylights out of me.” She pulled him into her arms and hugged him tightly. “Don’t do it again, okay?”

“Okay.” Henry hugged her back, his face wreathed in smiles.

“I think you owe somebody a big thank-you,” she whispered just loud enough for Luc to hear. Her blue eyes glistened as Henry walked to Luc.

“I’m sorry I got in trouble,” he said. “Thank you for helping me.” He thrust out his hand.

Luc did the same. He looked at Holly, struggling to suppress his grin.

“You’re welcome,” he said as he shook Henry’s hand. Then he scooped the boy into his arms, relishing the feel of holding this wonderful child. “But what are we going to do about my torn pants?” He set Henry down and showed him the tear in the back of his jeans. “These were my best ones, too,” he mourned.

“Holly can fix them,” Henry said with a grin. “Holly’s good at everything.”

“Not him, too,” Holly muttered. Luc smiled.

“You should ask her to sew your pants,” Henry advised.

“I’ll do that.” Luc shot a sideways glance at Holly who was looking anywhere but at him. “Something wrong?”

“Melody. She must have gone home. Guess I’ll have to hitch a ride. But first we’re taking Henry to Ms. Hilda’s as promised. Let’s go.”

Luc waited, wondering if Holly would prefer to drive her own vehicle, but she waved him to the driver’s side.

“I’m still shaking so much I’d probably crash us. He doesn’t seem any worse for wear, though.” She nodded toward Henry, who’d climbed into the back of the vehicle.

“You looked unflappable.” He held her door. As Holly passed him, he murmured, “You were wrong, you know.”

“About what specifically?” Holly gazed at him, her expression curious.

“That you don’t have the motherhood gene.” He saw a look of fear flicker through her gaze before her chin lifted. “I think you’re a born mother.”

“You’re wrong, Luc.” She stepped past him and into the vehicle. “I’m not the kind of mother any child needs.”

Luc climbed in on the driver’s side and drove to town. But all the way there he wondered why Holly was so sure she wasn’t the mother type. The way she’d reprimanded Henry, firmly but gently, ending it with a hug, easing his fear but imparting the lesson of patience, was pure mothering. Surely she could see that.

Was there something in Holly’s past that made feel she wasn’t motherly?

Luc really wanted to find out.

* * *

“Thank you for finding Henry,” Abby said as Hilda ushered the little boy away for a late supper. “I’m sure my call took you away from something important.”

“Nothing’s more important than keeping Henry safe,” Luc said.

Holly felt his scrutiny, his earlier words replaying in her mind. Why hadn’t she just let his comment about motherhood go? She’d only made him more curious. She also knew Luc well enough to know that he wouldn’t stop until he’d figured out what was behind her comment. Stupid to have said so much.

But she was so tired of pretending. People in Buffalo Gap thought she had it all, that she never blew it or regretted anything. They only saw the perfect girl she’d tried to be so as not to disappoint her father, as her mother had.

But they didn’t see the real her. Nor did Luc. Holly knew she was far from the perfect mother candidate. Perfect mothers didn’t give away their newborn babies to save themselves shame or embarrassment. They certainly didn’t forget about them once they’d given away their children.

But then Holly realized that despite her best attempts, neither had she forgotten. With every birth she assisted, every delivery, every prenatal class she taught she wondered, Did my baby look like this? Is my baby happy? Where is my baby?

There wasn’t and never could be an answer to those questions. That’s the way she’d wanted it. No shame or recriminations that her father would have to live with. At least that’s what she’d told herself when she’d given up her son for adoption.

“Holly?” Luc was looking at her oddly. So was Abby.

“Sorry. Just thinking about Melody. She’s still loose. I need to get home.” And away from Luc’s piercing stare.

“I’m sure you do. I just wondered if Henry had said anything to you about going to visit Luc.” The speaker was a woman named Shelly whom Abby had introduced as Henry’s case worker from Calgary.

“He didn’t, but we did talk about what kind of things happen on a ranch,” she said. “Henry asked how things worked and since I’ve lived on the ranch my entire life, I explained as best I could.”

“Was your friend Luc there at the time?” Shelly asked, her gaze narrowed.

“No. I’d taken Henry out for a soda one afternoon, with Hilda’s permission,” she added. “He never said anything about visiting Luc then but kids get lots of spur-of-the-moment ideas and often act on them. Luc didn’t tell Henry to come on his own if that’s what you’re insinuating,” she insisted, disgruntled by the case worker’s suggestive attitude.

“You’re defending him.” A smug smile tilted Shelly’s lips.

“I don’t have to,” Holly said, disliking her more with every word. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.” She turned to Abby. “I really do have to leave. I can’t afford to lose my horse.”

“Yes, you and Luc go ahead. And thank you for your help. I don’t know how we’d have managed without you.” Abby hugged her and Luc.

“You do realize the police were called out,” Shelly said to Luc.

“But that’s what you do when a child is missing, isn’t it?” he asked, a confused look on his face. Holly wanted to hug him.

“Come on, Luc. I need a ride back to find Melody.” Holly tugged on his arm, relieved when he finally followed her from the house. She got in the driver’s seat without thinking, started the engine and turned onto the highway toward home.

“Can you slow down a bit?” Luc asked in a mild voice.

“That woman! She was intimating that it was your fault Henry took off.”

“I know.” He smiled. “It was nice of you to defend me, but I didn’t coax him to come.”

“Well, I know that but Shelly doesn’t. She seemed a little too ready to put a black mark against you.” Holly sniffed. “I’ve seen workers like her before. So suspicious.”

“I suppose she has to be when she’s protecting a child who has no one else to do it for him.” Luc sounded unruffled. “It’s important to know that the people to whom you give the care of a kid like Henry won’t abuse that trust.”

“I suppose.” Holly leaned back in her seat and took a deep breath. Thinking about the past always unsettled her. But she could hardly tell Luc that.

“Can I ask you something, Holly?”

“I guess.” She twisted to look at him. The last vestiges of daylight were almost gone, leaving only the vehicle’s dashboard lights to highlight his reflection.

“Before your fiancé,” he said hesitantly. “Was there someone special in your life?”

What could it hurt to tell him? It had happened long ago. It was in the past.

“I can’t imagine what prompted that question,” she said, giving him an arch look.

“Humor me.” Luc kept watching her.

“When I was going through my medical training I met a resident. Troy.” Holly exhaled. “I thought I was in love with him but I was wrong.”

“How did you come to think you were wrong?” Luc said quietly. “Did he decide that or did you?”

“He did, okay?” Talking of that time, remembering the decisions she’d made and questioned ever since hurt. She wanted Luc to let it go. “He told me he had plans for his life and they didn’t include me. Then he walked away. I never saw him again.”

Holly didn’t tell Luc that Troy’s plans also hadn’t included the baby she was carrying. That was her secret and she intended to keep it that way. Luc was her best friend but as she’d learned to her cost, keeping your friends meant you didn’t share absolutely everything.

Especially to a man like Luc who was desperate to have a child.

* * *

“It’s good to get rid of that ugly wall board,” Holly said right after she’d tossed a sheet of the offending stuff into the back of Luc’s truck.

“Wood paneling isn’t your favorite?” He was glad to see the smile on her face. For the past three days, ever since the Henry incident, Holly had been introverted, obviously stewing about something yet she refused to share the burden with him.

“It’s dark and depressing. I don’t know why Dad ever chose it. Or maybe my mother did. That would explain a lot about what went wrong in their relationship.” She made a face at him then walked back inside her house. “Want some lemonade? I made it fresh this morning.”

Luc nodded. He’d enjoyed these past few days they’d spent working on her renovation. Holly was fun to be with, full of great ideas and eager to implement them. She also didn’t fuss about things like broken fingernails and dust as Sarah had on the four occasions she’d visited his ranch.

Luc sat next to Holly on the deck outside, savoring his drink and the warm spring afternoon. “Can I ask you something?”

Immediately, her eyes darkened and her face got what he termed her worried look. “I guess.”

“Why is there an umbrella in your garden?” He watched her shoulders sag in relief.

“To shelter my pumpkin plant, of course.” Holly’s grin teased him as did her wink.

“Okay. That certainly explains it.” Luc knew she was waiting for him to ask. “Why does your pumpkin need sheltering?”

“I just transplanted it. I’m trying to make sure it doesn’t dry out before it gets established or get broken in a strong wind so I shelter it for part of each day until it’s hardy.” Holly sounded like a worried mom.

“Must be an important pumpkin.” Luc watched the sparkle return to her eyes.

“It is. It’s a gigantic variety. I’m hoping to enter it in the fair in August and win.” When Holly was excited like this, Luc couldn’t take his eyes off her. “First prize is five hundred dollars. I’m also entering a baby quilt. First prize for that is another five hundred. That would go a long way toward a new sewing machine.”

“Great minds think alike. I’m hoping to win a prize with the old truck I’m restoring.” Luc grinned. “And if I could win another five hundred for being best historic entry in the parade this summer, I’d be able to fix up the ’55 Chevy I’ve got stored in my barn.”

“So we’re both out to win.” Holly chinked her glass against his. “Good luck to us.”

“What is it about sewing that gets to you?” Luc asked curiously.

“What is it about fixing old cars that gets to you?” She shrugged. “I pick up a piece of fabric and I see how it could be used. I have to make it. Now you know how weird I am.”

“Not weird at all,” Luc told her. “That’s how I am with old vehicles. I think I got that from my dad. I don’t remember him much but I remember he loved old cars. I think he lived every moment of his life, like you.” He smiled at her blush. Holly always tried to deflect praise. “Is it tonight Henry’s coming for your wiener roast?”

“Uh-huh. And Abby and her family and Hilda and whoever else shows up. I kind of left the invitation for a spring picnic open.” She chuckled at his raised eyebrows. “Well, it’s really hard to know where to stop. This is the kind of place where everyone drops in. At least they did when Dad was alive. I don’t want that to end.”

“I wonder if Henry’s ever had a wiener roast,” Luc mused aloud.

“You haven’t talked to him since the Ornery Joe incident?”

Luc shook his head. “No.”

“Why?” Holly asked with a frown. “Have you changed your mind about adopting him?”

“No way. I want to adopt Henry very much.” Luc couldn’t come up with the right way to say it so he blurted it out. “I felt like you thought I should stay away from him.”

“What? No.” Holly’s eyes narrowed. “If you’d asked I’d have suggested you keep seeing Henry as much as you can. You need to build your relationship so that the two of you will grow comfortable with each other.”

“But—” Luc shook his head. “That’s not the impression you gave that night we found him with Ornery Joe.”

“I was worried, Luc. I thought that Shelly was looking for a reason to give you a black mark and I think I was right. Abby confirmed privately that Shelly suggested to her that you coaxed Henry to visit you, thereby superseding the authority figure she’d chosen—Hilda. But I don’t think you need to worry about Shelly anymore.”

“Why not?” He loved the way her face glowed when she was excited or trying to keep a secret. “What happened?”

“Abby told me today that Henry’s case has been transferred from the Calgary social worker to Family Ties. Abby’s the case worker now thanks to Mayor Marsha’s daughter in Calgary who is credited with getting the case moved here.”

“And that means?” he asked, one eyebrow raised.

“That you don’t have to worry about Abby because she’ll give you a fair shake.”

“This town,” he said in pretended disgust. “You have to be in on the rumor mill to find out anything.” In truth he loved that aspect of small-town life. Well, most of the time.

“Yep. Sometimes being the town mascot is good,” she joked.

“The good citizens of Buffalo Gap do not think of Holly Janzen as a mascot,” Luc scoffed. “More like a goal every child should strive to attain.”

“I hope nobody tries to be like me,” she said, her voice harsh. She fell silent for a while, her thoughts on something he couldn’t share. But after a few moments, she snapped out of her bad mood to smile at him. “Now you need to solidify your case. Abby won’t go against you, but she will take into account the efforts you make to get to know Henry. She’ll probably be the one to do your home study, though I don’t think that will happen for a while.”

“That’s a relief. I’m not finished with the spare room yet.”

“Redecorating is a good idea.” She sipped her lemonade. “It’d be different if you were adopting a newborn, but with an older child, I think placement officers will like the idea that you’re making a special place for him, that you’re preparing your world for him to be part of it.”

“I don’t know where you get all this knowledge,” he said, studying her. “The internet?”

“Um, yes.” Holly seemed startled by his question. “And Abby.” She paused for a moment. “You should ask her lots of questions. She loves to explain.”

“I don’t think I can ask Abby how I’m supposed to mesh with Henry.” Luc had thought adoption would be straightforward, but he kept coming up against more and more uncertainties. He hadn’t realized he’d have to prove himself capable of fatherhood in so many ways. “She’d expect me to know.”

“So?” Holly’s blue eyes widened. “What’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I don’t have a clue how to mesh with Henry,” he said, feeling inept.

“Sure you do.” She rose. “You talked about taking him swimming when it got warmer. Maybe he’d like to fish. Or learn how to ride. What did you like to do as a kid?”

“Marbles.” He followed her into the house, almost bumping into her when she suddenly stopped and turned to look at him.

“Marbles?” One eyebrow arched and she gave him a look that said “stop teasing me.”

“I played marbles all the time,” Luc told her. “And usually won, though I don’t have a trophy for every time I excelled, like some people.” He grinned when she groaned.

“Stop it, will you?” Holly said, her voice cool. “I don’t have that many trophies.”

“Are you kidding me?” Luc snorted. “Lady, I just moved boxes of them from your spare room. Horsemanship, curling, baseball, friendship leader, junior citizen of the year, debate team, valedictorian, highest science test scores—to name a few.” He stopped ticking them off his fingers and faked a sigh of exhaustion. “Is there anything you didn’t win a trophy for?”

“Dealing with men who promised to renovate my spare room then ended up talking too much,” she shot back pertly.

“Low blow.” Luc clutched his chest and pretended to swoon.

“Can we get back to Henry? Maybe he’d like to learn to play marbles.” Holly stored her drinking glass in the dishwasher with his and checked the clock. “I think we could get the rest of the paneling out before I have to start putting together dinner for my guests.”

“How hard can it be to put together a few hot dogs?” Luc knew the minute he said it that it was the wrong thing to say. She glared at him then plunged her hammer right into the middle of a sheet of the despised paneling. “Um, I could help you with—whatever,” he offered.

“I’d appreciate it, but let’s finish this first. Then we’ll see how much time we have left.” Holly’s no-nonsense tone told him she wasn’t ready to forgive his comment.

Luc liked the way they worked together, each anticipating the other’s moves. In no time the room was stripped, except for her father’s big trunk in the corner. He looked from her to the trunk and back again, eyebrows raised in an unasked question.

“You have an obsession about that trunk.” She scowled at him. “I’ll sort it out.”

“Just not today, right?” He shrugged. “Fair enough. How many more days off do you have?” he asked as they hauled out the last of the trash and threw it in his truck bed. He’d get rid of it later.

“Only two and that’s if the hospital doesn’t call me in.” Holly sighed. “And then there’s Family Ties. Abby phoned to tell me a new girl arrived yesterday. Seth Treple was called in to examine her and he feels she’s close to her due date so I’m on call.”

Seth was the local GP who’d agreed to handle Family Ties’ patients, both mothers and children when Holly couldn’t.

“Seth can’t deliver the baby?” Concern tugged at Luc as he noted the weary lines around Holly’s eyes. It didn’t seem as if she was getting the rest she needed. “You’ve been covering for him a lot. I know that as a nurse practitioner you’re more than qualified to do most things he does, but you’ve been logging a lot of hours lately. You deserve your days off.”

“Babies don’t fit a schedule. Besides, Seth needs a couple of days off to visit his sick mother in Calgary.” She shrugged. “It’s fine.”

It wasn’t fine that she was almost dead on her feet. Maybe this demolition was too much for her, on top of everything else in her life. But he noticed Holly admiring the empty area.

“Soon all this will be sewing workspace.” She sounded enthusiastic.

“Hopefully.” Luc checked his watch. “I’m guessing we have about an hour until your guests will arrive. What do you need to do to get ready?” There was no point in telling her to relax for a minute. Holly did what needed to be done. Tiredness wouldn’t stop her but maybe he could ease her load.

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