Seth scooped his son up and held him against his chest. “Davy, say hello to Ms. White.”

Davy stuck his finger in his mouth, then apparently decided she was okay and lunged toward her. Julie’s arms went out automatically to grasp him, and he threw his arms around her neck in a hug.

“Sorry about that. Davy’s a born hugger.”

“That’s all right.” She looked a little stunned. “Hello, Davy. It’s nice to meet you.”

The words were conventional. Her expression wasn’t, and it rocked him back on his heels.

He took a breath, trying to adjust his impressions of her once again. His brother wouldn’t call her an ice maiden now. Julie had plenty of feelings.

The rest of that conversation flickered through his mind. No, he certainly wouldn’t be expressing any interest in Julie White. He wanted someone safe, and what he read in Julie’s sea-green eyes wasn’t safe at all.

MARTA PERRY

has written everything from Sunday school curriculum to travel articles to magazine stories in twenty years of writing, but she feels she’s found her home in the stories she writes for Love Inspired.

Marta lives in rural Pennsylvania, but she and her husband spend part of each year at their second home in South Carolina. When she’s not writing, she’s probably visiting her children and her beautiful grandchildren, traveling or relaxing with a good book.

Marta loves hearing from readers and she’ll write back with a signed bookplate or bookmark. Write to her c/o Steeple Hill Books, 233 Broadway, Suite 1001, New York, NY 10279, e-mail her at marta@martaperry.com, or visit her on the Web at www.martaperry.com.

Hero Dad
Marta Perry

For God has not given us a spirit of fear,

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

—2 Timothy 1:7

This story is dedicated to Herb and Barb Johnson,

with much love.

And, as always, to Brian.

Dear Reader,

I’m so glad you decided to pick up this book, and I hope my story touches your heart. The Flanagan firefighter series is very dear to me, and I hope you enjoy reading about the firefighter heroes as much as I enjoy writing about them.

Julie and Seth both have burdens to carry, and I loved the fact that they could learn to share them with each other for the sake of a special little boy.

I owe special thanks to my daughter Lorie, for her photographic expertise, and to my grandson, Bjoern, for reminding me of what it’s like to be three years old.

I hope you’ll write and let me know how you liked this story. Address your letter to me at Steeple Hill Books, 233 Broadway, Suite 1001, New York, NY 10279, and I’ll be happy to send you a signed bookplate or bookmark. You can visit me on the Web at www.martaperry.com or e-mail me at marta@martaperry.com.

Blessings,

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter One

She was not afraid. Julie Alexander paused in front of the trim brick firehouse, clutching her camera bag as if it were a lifeline. She wasn’t afraid to go inside and risk confronting the man who had the power to break her heart.

No. The denial was instant and automatic. She didn’t have to risk anything. As long as Seth Flanagan didn’t know who she was, she had nothing to fear.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear— The promise ought to be familiar to her. She’d had to rely on it often enough.

The red brick of the building in front of her looked mellow in the late September sunshine, like so many of the century-old brick buildings she’d seen in this small Pennsylvania city. The bay doors stood open, revealing the red and chrome hoods of fire engines. As she moved, an orangey red leaf from one of the maples that lined the street fluttered past her shoulder. It clung for a moment to the camera bag and then dropped at her feet. Her mind automatically began to compose a picture.

But there would be no hiding behind the camera lens today, no matter how much she might wish it. She stepped over the leaf and into the cavernous interior of the firehouse.

Three men leaned against a fire truck, their strong bodies forming a frame around the gold letters on its side: Suffolk Fire Department. She picked out Seth Flanagan instantly from the photograph her private investigator had provided.

His face, relaxed and smiling, was turned toward one of the other men, who was obviously telling a story. They hadn’t seen her yet, which gave her a moment to study him. He was tall, solidly built, with broad shoulders and deep auburn hair that might once have been red. That easy grin of his had probably been the first thing that had attracted her sister.

Though she hadn’t moved, something alerted the men to her presence. Seth straightened, frowning a little as his gaze met hers. He started toward her.

Her heart jolted at that frown. If he knew who she was—

No, he couldn’t know. Lisa had been very clear, in that last letter of hers, that her two lives would never touch in any way. Her husband and his family would replace the birth family that had made her so unhappy.

She arranged a smile and stepped toward him. “Hello. I’m looking for Seth Flanagan.”

Julie Alexander might know what her brother-in-law looked like, but photojournalist J. White certainly shouldn’t.

“I’m Seth.” He held out his hand, but the frown lingered in eyes that were so bright a golden brown that they looked like topaz. “You’d be the photographer. The chief told us you were coming.”

The way he said the words revealed the reason for the frown. It wasn’t her personally he objected to. It was being expected to work with her.

“I’m very grateful to Chief Donovan for his cooperation.” She chose her words carefully. She’d better make it clear that his cooperation wasn’t optional. “He’s told me that your family will be perfect for my photo article on firefighters.”

“You wanted a family of firefighters, and that’s us.” One of the other men approached.

Hair so dark it was almost black, eyes a deep Irish blue, as tall as Seth but not as broad—the coloring might be different, but the resemblance was still strong enough that she’d have pegged them for brothers even if she hadn’t known.

“And you are?” She held out her hand.

“Ryan Flanagan.” The smile he turned on her probably charmed every woman he met. “I’m the one the chief should have assigned to work with you.”

She disengaged her hand. “I’m sure he had reasons for his choice.” Aside from the fact that she’d manipulated her requirements to be sure he picked Seth.

“Yeah. He’s grooming my big brother for promotion.” Ryan elbowed Seth and got a glare in return. “Thinks he’s got what it takes to move up.”

Some emotion she couldn’t identify flickered across Seth’s face for a second, and then it was gone. “The chief just knows I’m more reliable than you are, that’s all.”

“But less fun.” Ryan turned the grin on her again. “So, J. White. What does the J. stand for?”

“Julie.”

“Pretty name.”

She glanced at Seth, to find him watching his brother’s flirting, a slight smile on his face. At a guess, that was a habitual posture for him, standing back, watching his brother show off. He didn’t seem to need to be the center of attention. Solid, masculine, he was a man used to tough work and comfortable in his own skin.

“Enough, Ryan.” He brushed his brother off easily when he was ready. “This is business, not romance central. Go polish a truck.”

The man behind them snickered. Ryan shot a look toward him and then shrugged. “Later, Julie.” He gave her that charming smile once more and moved off.

“The chief says it’ll take a couple of weeks for you to do this article of yours.” Seth’s reluctance came through in the words. “That seems like a long time to be tagging around after us.”

“You make me sound like a little sister who wants to play with the big boys.”

His grin appeared again, relaxing his face. “I already have one of those, thanks. She’s a paramedic with the department. Believe me, she outplays the big boys.”

That would be Terry, she knew from the private investigator’s report. “I’d like to meet her.”

“You will if you’re really doing this story on us.”

Again she sensed his unwillingness. She’d better try to establish some sort of rapport with him if she wanted to get close enough for this to work.

“I know it sounds as if my presence is going to be an imposition, but I promise, eventually you’ll forget I’m even there. That’s when I’ll get the pictures that will tell the story.”

“A family of firefighters. I know.” He said the words with a certain air of resignation, as if he were used to being categorized that way.

“It’ll be a good story.” Assuming she actually published it. For an instant she felt confused. This was the first time in her professional life that the story was just an excuse for another objective.

“Well, the family has agreed, so I guess we’re in, but maybe you’d better meet us before you decide whether we’re right for your project. My mother asked me to invite you to the house for supper tonight. Everyone won’t be there, but enough of us.”

He’s from a big family, Lisa’s letter had said. All noisy and in each other’s faces all the time. At first it drove me crazy, but now I love it.

Lisa hadn’t needed to point out how different it was from the Alexander family. She’d known Julie would understand.

“That sounds great.” Seth couldn’t know that she was cringing inwardly at the idea of meeting the Flanagans en masse.

“Around six, okay? We eat early so my little boy can have supper with us.”

Davy would be there. Her heart began to thump. She would see her sister’s child.

“Six is fine.”

Seth patted the pockets of his uniform pants. “Do you have something I can write the address on?”

She pulled a notebook and pen from her bag. He bent closer, his head near hers as he scribbled an address in the book. She got a faint whiff of soap, saw the sprinkling of freckles on his skin, felt the sheer masculine magnetism of the man.

Okay. She tried to settle her jangling nerves. This first encounter was almost over and nothing bad had happened. The next one would be easier.

She closed the notebook on the address and took a step back. “I’ll see you at six, then.”

She turned toward the door. Relief settled over her. She could escape.

“Julie?” Seth’s voice held a question, and she glanced back at him. “Have we met before?”

A sudden panic rippled along her nerves. “No.” It took an effort not to let the fear show in her voice. “I’m sure we haven’t.”

He shrugged. “You looked a little familiar to me when you smiled.”

“Maybe I remind you of someone you know.” Not Lisa. She and Lisa had had different mothers, and no one had ever thought they looked at all alike. Until Seth looked at her and saw something.

“That must be it.” A phone rang somewhere behind Seth, and he turned toward the sound.

“I’ll see you later,” she said quickly, and fled to the door.

She didn’t breathe again until she was safely out on the sidewalk. Of all the missteps she’d envisioned, she hadn’t thought of this one.

What else hadn’t she thought of? She slid into the car she’d rented for the trip, mind whirling. Had she missed anything else that could give her identity away to Seth? Or, worse, anything that could betray Lisa’s secret to her father?

She gripped the wheel with both hands. Help me, Lord. I’m walking a tightrope, and if I fall, an innocent child could pay the price.

“All I’m saying is that she’s not what I expected.” Seth lowered the evening newspaper to frown at his brother. He’d put the paper up as a defense against Ryan’s insistence on talking about Julie White, but it wasn’t working.

Ryan picked up a couple of scattered magazines and stuffed them into the basket beside Mom’s rocking chair. She’d whirled in from the kitchen a moment ago, taken one look at the two of them, and issued cleanup orders.

“How different?” Ryan grinned. “Prettier?”

“Maybe. I pictured a nosy battle-ax out to make us look stupid. Or a bleeding heart who’d write a tear-jerker that we could never live down.”

Julie White hadn’t fit either stereotype. With her cool, detached manner and her delicate blond looks, she had upset his calculations on how to deal with her. He stifled an exasperated sigh. He had enough to do without babysitting the woman through this story she wanted to do.

“She’s no battle-ax, that’s for sure.” Ryan dropped into the chair opposite him.

Seth lifted an eyebrow at his younger brother. “Are you planning on asking her out?” Ryan had turned into the playboy of the family in recent years, never sticking with one woman for more than a few dates.

“I thought about it.” Ryan shrugged. “But she’s not really my type.”

“You have a type? I thought you flirted with every female you met.”

Ryan grinned and tossed one of the magazines at him. “I like a little warmth. J. White’s a tad too cool and unfeeling for me. Ice maidens aren’t worth the effort.”

Seth considered that. He wouldn’t have said unfeeling exactly. His sense of the woman had been that she was keeping a strong clamp on her emotions.

Ryan tossed another magazine, always ready to irritate one of his brothers. “So, why don’t you ask her out? You’re the one who’s ready to get married, not me.”

For the hundredth time Seth regretted confiding that in Ryan, of all people. “I didn’t say I was ready to get married. Just that maybe I should think about it, for Davy’s sake.”

An almost-three-year-old needed a mother, and it wasn’t fair to expect Mom to play that role indefinitely. So he had started looking around for someone who’d make a good mother, someone who wanted a marriage based on companionship and building a family together.

Not one based on romance. His mind veered away from thinking about Lisa. About how he’d failed her.

He was almost grateful for the knock on the door. “Behave yourself tonight.” He frowned at Ryan, who grinned back, unrepentant. “And put those magazines away before Mom comes back in.”

Ryan scooped the magazines from the floor and headed toward the kitchen. “I’ll tell Mom she’s here.”

Some things hadn’t changed since they were kids. Ryan still baited him, and he still let it happen. Maybe he didn’t bother trying to change things because teasing aside, he knew Ry would go to the wall for him.

He opened the door. Julie White clutched her camera bag tightly and gave him a polite smile.

“I hope I’m not too early.”

“Just right.” He gestured toward the living room. “Please, come in.”

Why had she brought the camera bag with her tonight? Did she expect to start photographing them already? The thought still made him vaguely uneasy. They’d be baring their private lives to the woman, with no idea of her agenda or that she even knew what she was doing.

“Thanks.” She stepped inside and paused next to him, as if not sure what to do next.

Her head barely made it to his shoulder. He hadn’t realized, when they’d talked at the station, how small she was. Her light blond hair and pale ivory skin made her look as delicate as a porcelain doll.

An illusion, no doubt. No woman who’d talked the chief into agreeing to this story could be all that delicate.

She glanced up at him, soft layers of hair flowing against the shoulders of the coral sweater she wore. And what was he doing, noticing what the woman was wearing, anyway? This was business, not social. Ryan’s ribbing had taken over his thoughts.

“Are you sure I’m not too early?”

The repeated question clarified things for him. Julie was putting on a good front, but nervousness lay behind it.

“Relax.” He grinned, taking her arm. “We don’t bite, honest.”

Her face eased in a smile that melted whatever ice Ryan seemed to think was there. Seth blinked. That smile could thaw a glacier. Maybe he’d have to readjust his view of Julie.

“My nerves are showing, huh?”

“Well, you’re gripping that camera bag as if you intend to attack someone with it.”

She let go of the bag, shaking her fingers. “I’m always a little stressed when I’m starting a new project.”

He nodded toward the bag. “Did you want to start taking pictures already?” He hoped not. Maybe, given a day or two, he’d get used to the idea of having a stranger recording their lives. Or maybe not.

“Not until your family is ready.” Her smile took on a tinge of embarrassment. “I’m afraid the camera is my security blanket. If I don’t have it with me, I always think I’ll miss the best shot of my career.”

“Somehow I doubt that dinner with the Flanagans will give you that.”

“I also brought along a few magazines that contain some of my photo essays. I thought seeing them might reassure you that I know what I’m doing.”

He must have been too obvious. “I’d love to see some of your work.”

“So would I.” His mother swept into the room and over to them, still moving as lightly as a girl in spite of having five grown children. Six, if you counted Brendan, the orphaned nephew she’d raised.

His mother grasped Julie’s hand warmly in both of hers. “I’m Siobhan Flanagan. Welcome to our home. Goodness, Seth, what are you doing keeping Ms. White standing here like this? She’ll think I didn’t raise you right.”

“Julie, please, not Ms. White,” she said.

The words were right, but there was something strained about Julie’s smile that told him nervousness had taken hold again. What was wrong with the woman? Nobody could be more warm and welcoming than Siobhan Flanagan.

“I’m sure she’s not going to blame my shortcomings on you, Mom.”

“You kids came by those all by yourselves, didn’t you?” His mother swatted him lightly. “I don’t know how I got through raising the lot of you.”

He grabbed her and kissed her cheek. “Go on, now. Which of us would you like to get rid of?”

He glanced toward Julie as he spoke, and her expression startled him. For pity’s sake, she looked as if she’d never seen horseplay before. If that was the case, she wouldn’t last around the family long enough to do that story of hers.

His mother seemed to notice something, as well. She freed herself from his grasp, probably intending to try and put Julie at ease. But whatever she might have said was lost in the thunder of running feet.

Davy charged in from the kitchen at the headlong run that was his preferred method of locomotion. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” The yell was earsplitting. “I help Grammy make supper.”

“I’ll bet you did, Davy-boy.” He scooped his son up and tossed him in the air, then held him against his chest. “Davy, say hello to Ms. White.”

Davy stuck his finger in his mouth, afflicted with sudden shyness, then apparently decided she was okay and lunged toward her. Julie’s arms went out automatically to grasp him, and he threw his arms around her neck in a hug.

She looked a little stunned.

“Sorry about that. Davy’s a born hugger.”

“That’s all right.” Her voice was muffled as she returned his son’s embrace. She pulled back a little. “Hello, Davy. It’s nice to meet you.”

The words were conventional. Her expression wasn’t, and it rocked him back on his heels.

He took a breath, trying to adjust his impressions of her once again. Ryan wouldn’t call her an ice maiden if he saw the way she looked now. Julie had plenty of feelings.

The rest of that conversation flickered through his mind. No, he certainly wouldn’t be expressing any interest in Julie White. He wanted someone safe, and whatever he was reading in Julie’s sea-green eyes wasn’t safe at all.

Julie felt as if she’d taken a blow to the heart. She was too overwhelmed with feelings to think straight, and she could only hope none of them showed on her face.

She’d told herself, objectively, that her mission here was clear. She had to make sure Lisa’s child had the best, and then she’d step back out of his life again.

But she hadn’t thought about how it would feel to hold a living, breathing, sturdy little boy in her arms. A squirming little boy, she realized.

She set him down, thankful that the movement hid her face for a moment. When she stood again, she was composed.

“So this is your son. He’s adorable.”

He was. She didn’t want to stop looking at him. He had a mop of soft red curls that glinted gold where the light touched. His eyes were the same golden brown that Seth’s were, and he had a sprinkling of freckles across his cheeks.

“Yeah, we think he’s a pretty neat kid.” Seth’s words were casual, but love and pride blazed across his face.

This was something else she’d left out of her planning. She hadn’t imagined the power of the love Seth had for his child, and it left her groping for solid ground.

Davy ran across the room to his uncle. Ryan scooped him up and tossed him in the air, the boy’s head nearly touching the ceiling. She flinched at the sight; they ought to be more careful with Lisa’s child.

Davy might look like his father, but there was an indefinable something in his heart-shaped face that reminded her of Lisa. Her fingers itched to pull out her camera and start snapping.

“Did you say you had some articles to show us?” Siobhan Flanagan’s question brought her back to her senses.

She couldn’t start taking pictures of Davy. She couldn’t do anything that would alert the Flanagan family to her interest in him.

“Yes, of course.” She pulled several magazine issues from her satchel. “These should give you an idea of the type of piece I have in mind.”

“Come, sit down.” Siobhan took one of the magazines and handed another to Seth. Then she drew Julie down beside her on the well-worn sofa.

Julie began explaining the photo piece she’d done on women pilots, but she could only give it half of her attention. The other half was focused on Seth, who sat opposite them with an article she’d done on one of the grand old resort hotels of the Maryland shore. He frowned at something, and her throat tightened.

Ridiculous, to care what he thought of her work. They had no relationship, in spite of the fact that he’d been married to her sister. That was the way Lisa had wanted it. The way she wanted it.

He glanced at her. “I’ve seen this place, but your pictures make me think I’ve never really looked at it.”

She was irrationally pleased. “I hope that’s a compliment.”

“It is.”

He gave her that easy grin, and her breath caught. Seth might be the quieter of the Flanagans, but he packed a powerful masculine punch, all the same.

“I’m telling you, if we’d taken in a bigger line to begin with—”

Two men came in, their conversation stopping when they saw her. Even as she tried to identify them from what the investigator had told her, a young woman came in behind them, running her hand through tumbled red curls. More Flanagans, obviously.

Her nerves twitched again as Davy ran to the older man, who picked him up, kissed him, then tossed him casually to the woman. She’d be the first one to admit she didn’t know anything about raising an almost-three-year-old, but surely all that stimulation couldn’t be good for him right before supper.

She and Lisa had always had an early supper in the nursery, followed by bath and bed, supervised by a revolving progression of nannies and au pairs. She had a vague memory of Lisa’s mother popping in to say good-night once they were in bed. She’d worn silk and diamonds and smelled of expensive perfume.

No one had stayed in their lives long. Not her mother or Lisa’s mother or any of the nannies. She wouldn’t want that for Davy, obviously, but was this better?

Her head already throbbed from too many people talking at once. There were way too many Flanagans.

She stood, trying to make sense of the introductions flying at her. Seth’s father, Joe, bluff and hearty. His white hair still had traces of the red it had once been. Seth’s minister cousin, Brendan, who was also the fire department chaplain, explained that his fiancée was working late so he’d come to beg supper from his aunt. The red-haired young woman was Terry, Seth’s paramedic sister.

Too much confusion. She backed up until she bumped into the mantel. This was better. She could stay out of the mainstream and observe. If only she could put a camera in front of her face, she’d be fine.

Did they always all talk at once? And pass Davy around in that casual manner? Apparently there had been a fire call after she’d left the station that afternoon, and they were engaged in an animated argument over the order in which equipment had been called in.

She took a steadying breath. This was her chance to observe, she reminded herself. She could see how they interacted with Davy and with each other.

Seth was the quiet one, she realized, but not for any lack of strength. He came across as solid and even-tempered, a peacemaker in the face of some flippant remark of Ryan’s that brought a rebuke from his father, or Terry’s passionate defense to Brendan of some action Julie didn’t understand. For that matter, they all seemed to be speaking a language they understood and she didn’t.

In the midst of the hubbub, Seth’s gaze met hers. His smile seemed to pierce her heart, adding another layer to the confusion.

He took a few steps toward her. “Still sure you want to have anything to do with the Flanagans?” he asked. “Trust me, it’s even worse when the rest of the family is here.”

Family. The word lodged in her mind like a shard of glass. What was she doing, trying to evaluate the family Lisa had chosen? She certainly didn’t have any basis for comparison.

She could back out. It wasn’t too late. She could leave, and no one would ever know.

Davy, racing across the room after a ball, ran full tilt into her. She stooped to catch him, seeing the laughter that lit his eyes and engaged his whole body.

Her breath caught, and for an instant she thought her heart did, too. Who was she trying to kid? She couldn’t back out. For better or worse, she had to go through with this.

Chapter Two

Her mind fogged from a mostly sleepless night, Julie drove along the tree-lined street that led to the fire station. Even several cups of coffee had not been enough to clear her head. She wasn’t ready to join Seth for this orientation meeting he’d arranged at the firehouse this morning, but she didn’t have a choice.

She’d spent most of the night trying to sort out her feelings, only to find that they defied classification. She’d thought she could do this thing calmly, coolly, without emotional involvement. Instead she’d found that just seeing Davy had brought on a torrent of memories that hadn’t surfaced in years.

One still clung, as insubstantial as a cobweb but just as hard to get rid of. Lisa couldn’t have been much older than Davy, so Julie had probably been about five. Lisa had woken with one of the nightmares she’d had so frequently. Their nanny-of-the-moment hadn’t been patient with children who cried after they’d been put to bed, so Julie had taken Lisa into bed with her.

They’d snuggled together, and she’d patted Lisa, telling her over and over that everything was all right. Finally she’d felt the small body relax into sleep against her.

It’s all right, Lisa. I’ll take care of you.

But she hadn’t. If she had, maybe Lisa wouldn’t have found it necessary to break all ties with her in order to start her new life.

I let her down. I didn’t mean to, but I did. Did God accept that as an excuse? Probably not.

I won’t let Davy down. I promise. I’ll do what’s best for Lisa’s son.

That meant gaining Seth’s acceptance in order to see what Davy’s life was like, so that’s what she would do.

Then what? For an instant something in her rebelled in answer to that. She’d have to disappear. She couldn’t continue to be a part of Davy’s life, because if she did, her father might find out that the boy existed.

Ronald Alexander’s potential response to that knowledge was incalculable, but the only thing he’d ever loved was wielding power. If he knew about Lisa’s child, he wouldn’t be able to resist trying to control the little boy’s life.

So he could never know. She drew up at the curb, switching off the ignition. She didn’t have any choice but to go forward. Maybe, belatedly, she could keep the promise she’d made to Lisa.

She walked into the huge, echoing garage. Seth knew she was coming, so he’d be around someplace. A figure moved on the back of one of the fire trucks, drawing her attention. Seth jumped lightly to the concrete floor and came toward her.

“Julie. Hi.”

He wiped his hands on a rag as he approached her, his body compact and sturdy in the uniform’s dark blue pants and shirt with the red-and-white Suffolk Fire Department patch. Her stomach gave a little flutter of nerves.

“Hi. I hope this is a convenient time for me to pester you on the job.”

“It’s fine unless the alarm goes, but nobody can predict that.” If he thought her presence was a nuisance, he must be determined not to let it show.

“Are you busy?” She nodded toward the cloth.

He grinned, tossing it aside. “Not really. It’s just a compulsion firefighters have, to make sure their rigs look the best. If you see a sloppy or dirty apparatus, you don’t think much of the firefighters who man her.”

She filed that tidbit of information away for the article, assuming it got written. “I don’t want to get in the way.”

“A pretty visitor is never in the way.” A wheeled platform rolled out from under the nearest truck, and the firefighter she’d seen the day before smiled up at her. “I’m Dave Hanratty.”

“Married. With kids,” Seth added.

“Hey, I’m married, not blind.” Dave got up. “I can give Julie the tour if you’re too busy.”

She’d prefer that both of them stopped paying so much attention to her. “Really, I don’t want to take either of you away from your work. If you’ll just give me permission to start snapping, I’ll disappear into the woodwork.”

“You can take any pictures you want,” Seth said. “But I’ll show you around so you know what’s where. Dave can go back to inspecting the undercarriage.”

“Single guys get all the breaks,” Dave complained. He pulled the platform over with his foot. “When you’re ready for my close-up, just let me know.”

“Who would want a close-up of that mug?” Seth asked innocently.

She was beginning to catch on to the ribbing that flowed ceaselessly between the men. “I promise,” Julie said. “If I want a close-up, you’ll be the first to know.”

Laughing, Dave rolled himself smoothly back under the truck.

Seth gestured. “The engine room, but I guess you figured that out for yourself. We spend a lot of time here, cleaning, training, doing maintenance. Come on upstairs and see the rest of it.”

She pulled out one of the cameras she’d brought with her. Chances were good that anything she shot today would look too stiff, but she had to start or they’d never reach the point of comfort.

Seth gave a sidelong look at the camera as he led the way to the stairwell. She didn’t have much trouble interpreting that look.

“The camera bothers you, doesn’t it?”

He shrugged. “I guess. Who knows—you might catch me doing something I shouldn’t, and then the chief would be on my back. Or something dangerous, and then my mother would be after me. Trust me, that’s worse.”

“What would you do that you shouldn’t?

“Horseplay.” He grinned. “Firefighters are great ones for practical jokes. Officially, the chief disapproves.”

He stood back to let her go up the narrow flight of wooden stairs first. She could feel him behind her as she climbed. “I’d think your mother would be used to having firefighters in the family by this time.”

“I guess mothers never stop worrying.”

She paused at the top of the steps so she could see his expression. “What about you? It must worry you, being in a dangerous job when you’re a single parent.”

She might as well not have bothered, because his expression didn’t give one thing away.

“I don’t take chances,” he said shortly. “This is the kitchen.” He gestured. “We spend a lot of time here, and yes, we cook. People always ask that.”

It was only as Lisa’s sister that she really had the right to have asked that question about his job. He was a single father. He did have a potentially dangerous job. This would be so much easier if she could just tell him the truth.

Lisa hadn’t wanted him to know about her family, either. That was the bottom line. She searched for a safe remark.

“Are you a good cook?”

His expression eased at the innocuous question. “My mother probably wouldn’t think so, but I’m about as good as anyone else here. All of us here have to cook for the group occasionally. I make a mean chili, anyway.”

She took a few shots of the kitchen that she’d undoubtedly delete from the digital camera, then continued snapping as he showed her a living area furnished with what looked like cast-offs from someone’s house and a small exercise room furnished with weights and a punching bag.

He gestured toward a closed door. “Bunks and bathrooms are that way, but a couple of guys are sleeping right now.”

“And if the alarm goes off?”

“If a call comes in, don’t get between that door and the pole.”

The shiny brass pole led through a hole in the floor to the engine room below. “So the pole really exists, does it?” She began snapping again. “I thought that might be a myth.”

“There’s a good reason for it. You have half a dozen firefighters trying to get down a flight of stairs at the same time, you got a mess. The pole’s faster and safer.”

She focused her lens on the opening. “You wouldn’t care to give me a demonstration, would you?”

“I will if you try it, too.”

She studied him through her viewfinder. He looked serious. “I’m not the athletic type.”

“If you’re going to go out on calls with us, you’ll have to stop hiding behind the camera and take a risk or two. And that’s the whole idea of this, isn’t it?”

The idea is to observe your relationship with my nephew.

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean I want to become a firefighter.”

“Come on.” He grasped the pole with one hand and drew her forward, his eyes teasing. “Even the ten-year-olds in our Future Firefighters club slide the pole. I’ll show you how. Just hang on here.” He patted the shiny brass.

“I can’t.” She pulled back, feeling his arm strong around her. “You’d have to have three or four people down there to break my fall before I’d try.”

He grinned. “The idea is to slide, not to fall.”

“Even so—”

She looked up at his face, and her nerves gave that funny little jump again. He was too close—way too close. She could see the gold flecks in his brown eyes and the tiny lines that bracketed his firm mouth.

An inappropriate wave of warmth flooded her. Seth’s eyes seemed to darken, as if he felt it, too.

Oh, no. She could not be attracted to Seth Flanagan. She couldn’t be.

For just an instant Seth felt the way he had when a beam came down on him in a smoky fire. His helmet had protected him from serious injury, but he’d seen stars for a week afterward.

Looking into Julie’s eyes seemed to create a similar effect. He let go of her carefully, putting some distance between them. He wasn’t looking to see stars anymore, either physically or emotionally.

“Tell you what. I’ll slide down to show you how it’s done, but you can take the stairs. This time.”

“Every time.” Julie lifted the camera in front of her face. She did that a lot, maybe more than she had to. He couldn’t help but wonder why she felt the need to hide.

“Okay.” He went into his usual pole-sliding demonstration. “The alarm goes, you charge out, adrenaline pumping, and grab the pole with your arm, wrap your legs around and slide.”

Julie’s face disappeared as he slid down a little faster than usual. He landed hard enough to jolt him. Well, it served him right for showing off just because a pretty woman was watching.

He looked up at the opening, but she’d disappeared. He heard her footsteps on the stairs, and in a moment she emerged from the stairwell.

“Very impressive.”

“Thank you. We try to keep up the image.”

She nodded toward the closest rig. “Why don’t you go back to the cleaning you were doing when I came in, and I’ll just ask a few questions while I take a few more photos.”

“Fair enough.” At least cleaning would give him something to do with his hands. She seemed to think he was eventually going to forget that she and her camera were there, but he doubted that would ever happen.

He climbed up on the rig and looked down at her. “Seems like you’re going to have to come up here, too, if we’re going to talk.” He held out his hand.

He could sense her hesitation. Then she nodded, grabbed his hand and let him pull her up onto the rig. She glanced around a little nervously.

“I’m not going to set off any sirens by touching the wrong thing, am I?”

“There’s nothing you can hurt back here. The controls are in the cab.” He grabbed a rag and started polishing the chrome strip. “Fire away.”

He didn’t forget she was there. But he did, oddly enough, begin to forget after a while that she was taking photographs. He polished the chrome, the familiar routine soothing. Julie had an easy, detached way of asking questions while she snapped that had him thinking about what he was saying instead of what she was doing.

“Does it bother Davy that you work such long shifts?”

His polishing slowed, and he turned to frown at her. Once again, he couldn’t see her face because of the camera.

“Do you know that’s the fourth question you’ve asked about my son? I thought this article was supposed to be about firefighting.”

Julie held the camera in place a moment longer, but then she seemed to realize they weren’t going any further until she answered. She lowered it, but her cool gaze didn’t give anything away.

“The story is meant to be about a family of firefighters. Naturally I’m especially interested in the effects of that on the children.”

“Then you should talk with my sister Mary Kate. She has two kids, and her husband’s a firefighter.”

“I plan to. But as a single father—well, you seem to have the more challenging role.”

“I’m not so sure I want my private life included in your article.”

Her expression grew a little cooler. “I need the contrast of work and family life. That’s what the chief agreed to. That’s what your family agreed to.”

She had him there. They had all agreed, but he hadn’t realized she intended to probe into his life in particular.

“I guess we did agree.” He put the cloth down and leaned a little closer to her. He had the sense that she’d have backed up if there’d been any place to go. “Okay. I’ll go along with that, but you have to do something for me in return.”

She eyed him warily. “What?”

“I already mentioned it, but maybe you didn’t realize I was serious. I want you to experience basic safety training. No matter what the chief says, I don’t feel comfortable taking you to a fire scene unprepared.”

She lifted her eyebrows, her green eyes as bright as a forest pond reflecting sunlight. “You wouldn’t be trying to discourage me, by any chance, would you?”

“Certainly not.” Well, not consciously, anyway. “I think it’s important.”

She shrugged. “Fine. I guess if I can go up in a fighter plane for my piece on women pilots, I can do this.”

It sounded as if Julie was tougher than her delicate looks would indicate. “Okay. I’ll put you through the basics until I’m satisfied you know how to handle yourself.”

She leaned back against the side of the rig, studying him. “And in return, I get a chance to photograph you and Davy, right?”

He nodded. “You can start this afternoon, if you want. I’m scheduled to do a fire-safety presentation at Davy’s nursery school. You can come along.”

She looked a little startled. “Is he old enough for nursery school?”

“He turns three next week, so we started him for the fall session. He goes two afternoons a week, and he really loves it.” He wasn’t sure why he sounded defensive about it. He was Davy’s parent, and it was up to him to decide if Davy was old enough for nursery school.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that as a criticism. I’m not around young children enough to know.”

In that case, it was going to be interesting to watch the cool, detached photographer coping with a bunch of rug rats.

“Then maybe you’d better put on a safety helmet. And some earplugs. Because you’ll be around plenty of them this afternoon.”

The nursery school didn’t really seem as noisy or intimidating as Seth had indicated when they approached it that afternoon.

“This isn’t so bad.” Julie scuffed through the fallen leaves as they walked across the lawn toward the building. Like so much of Suffolk, it was built of mellow old brick. “I don’t hear a single scream.”

“Just wait. You haven’t encountered Davy’s class of preschoolers yet.” He hefted the large duffel bag that apparently contained the gear he needed for his presentation. “I went with them on a field trip to the pretzel factory earlier this month.” He shuddered, grinning. “Not an event I care to repeat.”

“It looks like a nice place.” She was determined to be fair, in spite of her feeling that Davy was too young for nursery school. She nodded toward the bright play equipment scattered across the fenced yard under huge old oak trees.

“It’s the best. Both of Mary Kate’s kids went here.” He hit a button next to the door, waved at the woman inside and then pulled the door open when the buzzer sounded. “Showtime,” he said. “We’re on.”

“What do you mean, ‘we’?” She followed him into a hall decorated with murals and children’s art work. “I’m just an observer.”

“You find it safer that way, don’t you?”

The remark startled her, but before she could find a response, he was opening a classroom door. She followed him in, wrestling with his comment, not sure whether to be insulted or not.

It wasn’t a matter of playing it safe, she assured herself. Her profession required that she be a detached observer—that was all.

The children were seated at low round tables, apparently having a snack, but Davy jumped up at his father’s entrance and raced to him for a hug. She watched his red-gold head nestled next to Seth’s with an odd lump in her throat. Davy was her blood kin, too, but he’d probably never know that.

The teacher, a slender young black woman in jeans and a smock, clapped her hands. “All right, boys and girls. Davy’s father is here to talk to us. Take your places on the rug, please.”

Somewhat to Julie’s surprise, the children did as the teacher directed, gathering in a ragged circle on the braided rug and wiggling like so many puppies as they sat.

She slipped to the side of the group, finding a spot where she’d be out of the children’s line of sight. She sat down, pulling out her camera, automatically calculating the amount of light that poured through the large windows on the side wall.

“Some of you know that Davy’s father is a firefighter,” the teacher said. Davy grinned, obviously proud. “He’s going to show us what to do if there’s a fire.”

Seth sat on the rug. If he was nervous about this presentation, it didn’t show. “Hi, guys.” He pointed to the patch on his uniform shirt. “Like Ms. Sarah said, I’m a firefighter. This patch says that I’m a member of the Suffolk Fire Department.”

She focused the camera on his face, slipping into professional mode. Or maybe not so professional. She didn’t usually dwell on a subject’s easy grin, or the way the light made his eyes look almost gold instead of brown.

Stop it. So he’s an attractive guy. That doesn’t matter. All that matters is Davy’s happiness.

She began taking pictures. A couple of the children glanced around at the first few clicks, but they soon forgot her. They were too engrossed in having a real live firefighter in their classroom.

That firefighter did a good job, she had to admit. He seemed to know just what would keep his young audience involved. No doubt because he had a child of his own, he didn’t even miss a beat when one little boy began to wail that he had to go potty.

Not easily flustered, that was Seth. What would it take to ruffle that relaxed exterior? She couldn’t guess. The calm, friendly manner seemed to be inherent in his personality. She could see why Lisa had been drawn to him.

He’d come well prepared, too, using stuffed toys of familiar characters to illustrate fire safety. In his hands, a stuffed teddy bear stayed low and hurried out of a house of blocks.

“Remember, you never go back in, no matter what. Even if you left your favorite toy inside, don’t go back in until a grown-up tells you it’s okay. Right?”

They nodded solemnly.

“Okay, now we’re going to practice what to do if your clothes should ever catch fire.”

She blinked. Surely that was too scary for this young group.

Apparently Seth didn’t think so. He demonstrated the stop-drop-and-roll routine himself, making them laugh. Then he had all the children practice. A lot of giggling punctuated the process.

She focused the camera on Davy, who was rolling vigorously, hands over his face. Would he pay for this in nightmares?

“Now, then.” Seth regained their attention by dumping out the rest of the contents of his bag. “Ms. Julie is going to help me show you what a firefighter wears.”

She frowned at him. “I don’t think so.”

He smiled back blandly. “I need a model. You’re it.”

The children, prompted by the teacher, started clapping. Apparently she didn’t have a choice. She set the camera aside and joined him in front of the children.

“I’ll get you back for this,” she murmured.

“Promises, promises.” He held out a pair of bulky yellow pants. “Ms. Julie is putting on the pants that will protect her at a fire. We call them bunker pants.”

Easier said than done. She struggled into the pants, which fit surprisingly well. That meant he’d planned this, bringing an outfit from one of the female firefighters.

“Next come the boots.”

She stuffed her feet into the boots, wondering how anyone managed to move in this outfit, let alone fight a fire. Seth fielded several comments from children who wanted him to know that they had boots, too.

“Now the bunker jacket.” He held the yellow jacket, helping her to slip it on. He snapped the front of it as if she were a child, and then his fingers moved to the collar, tipping it up under her chin.

He looked at the children. “What else does Ms. Julie need to go to the fire?”

“The helmet,” they chorused.

“Right you are.” He settled the helmet on her head gently. His fingers brushed her cheeks as he fastened the chin strap.

Breathe, she reminded herself. Breathe.

For an instant she thought he skipped a beat. Then he went on smoothly. “Let’s give Ms. Julie a hand for being such a good sport, okay?”

The children clapped again, making her ridiculously pleased, and then it was over. The teacher was leading them back to their tables, and Seth picked up the duffel bag.

He quirked an eyebrow, looking at her. “Need some help getting that off?”

“I can manage.” She pulled off the helmet and ran her fingers through her hair. “You planned that,” she accused, keeping her voice soft.

“Hey, I don’t usually have a model when I do this. You can’t blame me for taking advantage of it.”

“Can’t I?”

He grinned. “You’re a hard woman, Julie White. Come on, this wasn’t so bad, was it?”

She helped him stuff the gear back into the duffel bag. “I guess not.” She glanced toward the kids, who were joining the teacher in a song. Davy sang with gusto, his little arms waving in time to the music. “But don’t you think that was scary for children this young?”

“Maybe so. But it’s better than the alternative.”

Something grim in his voice brought her gaze back to his face, and what she saw there startled her. The lines of his face had hardened. Only his eyes showed expression, and the emotion they betrayed was pain.

“You mean—” Her throat closed.

“We lost two children in an apartment fire the first year I was in the department.” His words were flat, but not for any lack of emotion. If anything, Seth was feeling too much, not too little.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Their eyes met, and for an instant she felt as if she saw into his heart. She couldn’t pull her gaze away. She was caught in the moment.

He shook his head, maybe shaking off the bad memories. “Well, anyway.” He hefted the bag. “Are you getting what you want?”

For an instant the question confused her. Was she? Then she realized that Seth was talking about the shots.

“Yes, of course.” She bent to pick up the camera bag, letting the action hide her face. Was she getting what she wanted? She wasn’t sure she knew.

Chapter Three

“This is what you meant by taking me through some safety training?”

Julie watched Seth’s face, hoping for a sign that he was kidding about this. She hadn’t known what to expect when he’d picked her up at her hotel this morning, but it hadn’t been this—a collection of thrown-together buildings on the outskirts of Suffolk, an expanse of asphalt and a hodge-podge of firefighting equipment.

“I know it doesn’t look like much, but this is the Suffolk Fire Academy.” He gestured at the fenced-in area. “Suffolk’s big enough to have a professional fire department, but funding is always a problem.”

“So they skimp on the academy?” It looked as much like a junkyard as anything else. She spotted a group of people in coveralls coming down the side of one of the buildings with ropes. Surely Seth didn’t expect her to do that.

He grinned. “Firefighters don’t expect luxury accommodations. Good thing, because they wouldn’t get them.”

Her journalistic mind began to kick in. “Surely the training is important enough to spend money on.”

“Training, yes. Our recruits go through a tough twelve-week program. But there’s never enough money to go around, and they can learn just as well in a Quonset hut as a fancy classroom.”

One of the people descending the building had lost his or her grip and fallen the last few feet. She held her breath until the person was up again.

“You’re not planning to have me do that, are you?” She nodded toward the group.

“Sadly, our insurance wouldn’t cover that.”

He was probably teasing again, but sometimes she found it difficult to tell. That constant teasing must be part of the firefighter culture. Or the Flanagan culture. They tended to blend.

“You get to meet another Flanagan.” He nodded toward the man walking toward them, wearing the same blue uniform Seth did. A beautiful yellow Labrador walked at his side. “My brother Gabe.”

“Hi, bro.” Gabe slapped Seth’s shoulder, and then extended his hand toward her. “You must be Julie. I’m sorry my wife and I couldn’t make it to dinner the other night to meet you.”

While she murmured pleasantries, Julie compared the two of them. Gabe was leaner than Seth, with lines around his deep blue eyes that suggested he’d seen difficulties and come through them.

She held out her hand to the dog. “Who is this beautiful creature? I thought fire dogs were Dalmatians.”

“This is Max.” Gabe fondled the dog’s ears, and the animal pressed against his leg. “Max is my seizure-alert dog.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—” She stopped, confused. Obviously the private investigator’s report hadn’t included everything.

“I was injured on duty, and the seizures were an unpleasant aftereffect. So now I spend most of my time training service animals and a couple of days a week training firefighters.” He gestured toward the trainees who were waiting for his return. “Join us.”

She followed, very aware of Seth walking by her side. Did he think she’d been clumsy? If she had, it hadn’t been intentional. Gabe’s calm acceptance of his injury must have been hard-won.

And that was another aspect of Seth’s firefighting career that she’d think he’d spend more time considering. Did a single parent really have the right to be in such a dangerous profession?

They reached the group of trainees, who looked at her with mild curiosity.

“This is Ms. White,” Gabe announced. “She’s going to be taking a few photos today. Don’t worry about how you look, just how you perform.”

A few shot her interested looks, but for the most part the recruits focused their attention on Gabe and Seth. Good, that was how she liked it. She pulled out the camera.

That expression in the trainees’ faces when they looked at the brothers intrigued her. Awe came closest to describing it. Gabe and Seth, in their neat blue uniforms, were the men they wanted to be.

“Look sharp, people.” Gabe pointed to a long ladder that lay on the ground. “The fifty-foot ladder. How many firefighters to raise it?”

“Six.” Several of them answered at once. They were leaning forward, obviously eager to knock themselves out trying to put it up.

She slipped to the side, lifting the camera. She might not understand their ambition, but she didn’t need to in order to get a good shot.

The next few moments were a jumble of shouts, groans and straining muscles. The huge ladder seemed to take on a life of its own. It began to sway, almost out of control, and Julie stepped back. She didn’t need the warning glance Seth shot her to know it was dangerous.

Then Seth and Gabe took hold of the thing and in an instant it smacked against the building. Seth stepped back, grinning, and dusted off his hands.

“Attitude, people. Attitude. You don’t let the Fifty know you’re not confident.”

It took a second for Julie to realize the Fifty was the ladder. He made it sound like an ally.

Gabe lifted an eyebrow at his brother. “Pretty cocky, aren’t you? Let’s see how you do against me in a hose relay. Pick your three.”

Seth pointed to two of the trainees. Then he pointed at her.

“Oh, no.” She didn’t know what a hose relay was, and she had no desire to learn.

“Yes.” Seth took the camera from her and set it atop the camera bag. “You’ve been watching long enough. Time to get your hands dirty.”

He didn’t think she’d do it. He was looking at her with a challenge in his eyes, and he thought she’d turn him down.

She should. She hadn’t been physically challenged in years. Mentally and artistically, maybe, but not physically. She was offended at the idea that he’d judge her on the basis of brute strength, but worried at the same time about that strength.

Her eyes narrowed. “Tell me what to do.”

He clapped her shoulder the way Gabe had clapped his. It nearly made her stagger.

“All right. Come with me.”

Gabe had already picked his team, and they stood waiting.

The relay actually seemed simple enough. Grab the hose, race forward with it on the signal to the next member of the team, and pass it on. The first team across the line Gabe had drawn in the dirt won.

A few minutes later Julie was outfitted in one of the blue jumpsuits. She waited with dancing nervousness on the mark Seth pointed out to her.

Seth had put the two trainees first. She had the third leg and he had the fourth. Obviously he expected her to lose ground that he intended to make up.

She jogged a few steps, loosening up. Seth just might be in for a surprise. She might not haul fifty-foot ladders, but she did run every day.

Gabe checked the positions of both teams. Then he blew his whistle. The first two trainees raced forward. She watched intently, jogging in place. Obviously the challenge lay in hauling the hose, not in running. The runners sweated and panted as they passed off, almost in a dead heat.

The woman who was second on their team ran toward her, making it look easy until her foot somehow tangled with the hose and she stumbled. There were a few catcalls, then cheers as she righted herself and charged on.

Like a race at school, Julie told herself. Nothing to be nervous about. The woman reached her, thrusting the hose into her hands.

Don’t trip, don’t trip. She ran forward, hauling the hose. It felt like a living creature that dragged at her arms, unwilling to move.

Then she realized that the others were cheering for her. Had anyone ever cheered for her before? For some reason the sound pushed her forward. Panting, forcing her legs to move, she reached the line and handed off to Seth.

She leaned over, gasping for breath. The other woman on her team pounded her on the back. “Good job. You gained us a couple of feet.” She ran on, cheering Seth as he headed for the finish line.

I did? She pushed herself toward the line as Seth crossed it several feet ahead of his brother.

She was swept into a melee of high fives and cheers. Seth lifted her off her feet in a hug. “Good job, Julie. Good job. Who would think a little thing like you could run that fast with a hose?”

“Hey, bro, you only won because you brought a ringer with you.” Gabe pounded her back. “Good work. Next time you can be on my team.”

“No chance.” Seth slung his arm around her shoulders in a casual hug. “I saw her first.”

She felt a contrary wave of pride. They’d won a race. What difference did that make?

For some reason, Paul’s words popped into her mind. “Seeing that I am surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, I run the race that is set before me.”

There was more realism in that comparison than she’d seen before. You did run faster when you were aware of people cheering you on.

And maybe Seth had taught her something she needed to know about firefighters. That purely visceral response to a physical challenge was part of their everyday life. Without it, they probably couldn’t do what they had to do, like raise a fifty-foot ladder, haul a bundle of hose up a flight of stairs or race into a burning building without looking back.

Seth needed that kind of competitive response on the job. But what about turning it off when he went home to his little boy?

Seth caught the pitch Ryan sent his way and tossed the ball underhand to Mary Kate’s oldest. The little girl missed the catch but ran shouting after the ball, chased by her younger brother. The ball disappeared into the thick cluster of fallen leaves under the maple tree in Gabe and Nolie’s side yard, and they scrambled into the leaves like a pair of puppies.

This might be the last Sunday afternoon picnic of the fall at Nolie’s Ark, the farm where Gabe and Nolie raised and trained their service animals. The picnics had become a tradition in the few short months since their wedding. Seth hated seeing it come to an end, but the days were getting cooler already.

The expanse of green lawn was studded here and there with beds filled with the bronze and gold of mums. A couple of miniature horses, a goat and a donkey grazed in the fenced pasture, lifting their heads now and then to watch the Flanagan clan at play.

Seth saw Gabe and Nolie come out of the red barn, and Gabe caught his wife close for a quick kiss before they parted, with Nolie heading toward the kitchen and Gabe coming toward him. Watching them was bittersweet.

Would he and Lisa have had that incandescent happiness if she’d lived? Or would the unhappiness that had often shadowed his wife’s eyes have gotten worse with the years? He would never know.

“I see she’s still taking pictures.” Gabe, reaching him, nodded toward the group under the trees. The kids played like puppies, and Julie knelt, her gold sweatshirt blending with the leaves, snapping away.

“That’s why she’s here.” He glanced at the picnic tables, where his mother and Terry were spreading tablecloths. “She’ll have to stop long enough to eat, or Mom will be unhappy.”

“She gave up the camera at the training academy, didn’t she?” Gabe elbowed him. “She surprised you.”

“Well, I asked her to participate. I just didn’t think she would.”

He also hadn’t thought she’d do as well as she had. Hauling hose at a dead run wasn’t easy, but she’d managed. That deceptively fragile air of hers had thrown him.

“You were trying to scare her off.” Gabe’s assessment was blunt, as always. It had never been any good trying to put something over on his big brother. “Why?”

He shrugged, not even sure himself why he wanted to discourage Julie. “I guess I don’t like the idea of being put on display in some magazine.”

“Me, either.”

The quiet words made him ashamed. Gabe had more reason than he did to shun the spotlight, but Gabe had conquered his initial frustration with his disability. He even voluntarily went out on speaking engagements with Max, knowing that his actions helped other people with disabilities.

“She’s just doing her job.” Gabe nodded toward Julie, who had gone over to the tables and was talking to his mother. “Give her a break, will you?”

“I guess you’ve got a point.” Seth bent to pat Max’s head. “Maybe I should start cooperating.”

Gabe grinned. “A lot of guys would be happy to work with someone who looks like Julie. Loosen up.”

“I’ll try.”

In fact, he’d start trying right now. He crossed the lawn toward the tables, wondering what had drawn a little crowd.

Then he got close enough to see. Julie’s laptop. She was showing them the digital photos she’d taken.

He leaned over his cousin Brendan’s shoulder to have a look. One photo after another flashed on the small screen like a slide show. Julie leaned back a little, as if to say that she wasn’t responsible for how people reacted to her work.

He leaned closer as the pictures she’d taken at Davy’s preschool began to show. They were close-ups, most of them, that cut out the background clutter to catch the little faces. Davy, his face so alight with mischief it seemed he’d walk out of the picture, made a mock grab at his father’s uniform patch.

“Wow. Julie, these are great.”

“Wonderful,” his mother breathed. Her eyes misted with tears at a photo of his dad leaning against an engine. Something about the image almost seemed to say that the man and the machine were one.

“Julie, you’re a terrific photographer.” Brendan smiled at her. “Of course, I guess you already knew that.”

Seth looked at Julie to see how she was taking their praise. Her expression grabbed his heart.

She was so obviously both pleased and embarrassed at their words. The woman was such a blend of cool professional expertise and personal—what? He stopped, at a loss for the right word.

Shyness didn’t seem to quite fit. He continued to watch her as Nolie announced that the food was ready and everyone began to hustle, setting plates and bowls on the table.

Julie moved the laptop out of the way, but she didn’t seem to know whether she should do anything otherwise. She just hung back, awkward.

He touched her elbow, moving her out of the way of Mary Kate and an enormous platter of fried chicken. “Relax, you don’t have to help. You’re a guest.”

Her smile was grateful, as if he’d really done something for her. “I’d like to do my share, but they’re so well organized that it’s intimidating.”

“Believe me, when it comes to getting food on the table, the Flanagans are experts.”

Claire, Brendan’s fiancée, laughed. “To say nothing of how expert they are at putting it away. Before I got involved with this crowd, I thought Sunday dinner meant a salad and a piece of broiled chicken.”

Brendan pulled her into a hug. “You love every minute. Admit it.”

“Why I haven’t gained ten pounds since meeting you, I’ll never know.” Claire gave him a quick kiss and shooed him out of the way. “Go help Nolie carry out the coffee urn. You have to do something to earn your meal.”

Seth smiled at their interplay. Love. Everyone seemed to be falling in love recently.

But not him. He’d already had his love, and he didn’t expect God to send that his way again, but it wasn’t fair for Davy to be without a good mother.

That role definitely didn’t apply to someone like Julie. But he glanced at her, only to find that Julie was sitting on the ground, intently studying the maple leaf that Davy held out to her.

His son’s tiny palms held the leaf carefully, as if he feared he’d tear it. He was smiling into Julie’s face, apparently confident that she’d find it equally intriguing.

As for Julie—

Julie looked as if she’d just been handed the best present of her life.

She’d made a big mistake in all her careful planning, Julie thought, pushing back from the table after the enormous meal was finally finished. She hadn’t begun to realize how Lisa’s child would affect her.

My nephew, she’d wanted to say when Davy had entrusted her with the maple leaf he’d found. I have as much right to hold you, to love you, as anyone else.

She hadn’t said it, of course. For an instant, tears blurred her eyes. She blinked them quickly away. She couldn’t let herself begin imagining that she’d ever have any right to tell Davy who she was. She’d known that from the start. She just hadn’t known how much it would hurt.

“See, Julie, see?”

Davy ran ahead toward the pasture fence, while she and Seth followed along behind. Seth had suggested his son have a nap after dinner, but Davy had shaken that idea off, insisting that Julie had to see the donkey.

At least, she thought that was what he’d said. Davy’s language was sometimes difficult for her to understand, although the rest of the Flanagans didn’t seem to have trouble interpreting it. Even Mary Kate’s two young children were quick to announce what Davy wanted.

“I wish I had that much energy.” She watched as the child darted forward, doubled back to check on a dandelion’s puffball and then ran ahead of them again.

“I’m telling myself that I can’t keep up with him because I ate too much.” Seth patted his flat stomach. “But it might just be because I’m getting too old to keep up with a two-year-old.”

“Three next week. That’s what he told me when I asked how old he is. Three next week.”

Her smile lingered on her lips. It was probably silly to be so affected because a small child had shared his discovery that leaves turned color in the fall, but she couldn’t help it. So maybe she’d better just concentrate on enjoying this brief span of time with her nephew, instead of mourning that there wouldn’t be more.

Actually, it was amazing how relaxed she felt. It could have been that moment of connection with Davy, or the excellent meal or maybe the beautiful surroundings.

Or maybe she was simply happy to be walking across a field with Seth, watching his son romp through the grass.

Seth’s attitude toward her seemed to have changed, and she wasn’t sure why. She just knew that slightly edgy watchfulness of his had eased. He accepted her.

“A birthday’s pretty special when you’re that age.” His voice seemed to warm. “Will you still be around then? We’d like to have you come to the party, if so.”

“I’ll probably be here another week, at least.” She said it carefully, fearful of making a commitment she wouldn’t be able to keep. “I’d love to come to Davy’s birthday party, if you’re sure you want me.”

“Well, who wouldn’t want a professional photographer at a kid’s birthday party?” He caught her hand in his, swinging it lightly. “We might actually end up with some pictures we can see, instead of Ryan’s out-of-focus blobs.”

“No blobs, I promise.” She felt ridiculously lighthearted. The warmth of Seth’s hand seemed to extend right up her arm.

An outrageous thought flickered tantalizingly through her mind. What if she told him? What if she came right out and told him she was Lisa’s sister? He seemed to be accepting her. Maybe he could accept that. If Lisa had told him about her family—

The thought stopped there. She didn’t know what Lisa had told him. She only knew what Lisa had told her.

A spasm of pain gripped her heart. She hadn’t heard anything from Lisa after that letter saying she was getting married. She hadn’t known about Davy.

She hadn’t even known about Lisa’s death until she’d realized Lisa hadn’t drawn any funds from the trust she administered for her. That had roused her concern enough to make her hire the private investigator to find her.

“See, Julie?” Davy danced in front of the pasture fence, waving his arms. “See?”

“I see.” She shaded her eyes. “I see the donkey and the goat, but what are those other things?”

“Don’t you recognize a horse when you see one, city girl?” Laughter filled Seth’s voice. He leaned against the split-rail fence, propping his elbows on it.

“Okay, they do look like horses, but they’re no bigger than Max is.”

She leaned against the railing next to him. He moved closer, tilting his head toward her. The sunlight brought out red highlights in his brown hair. He’d folded back the sleeves of the flannel shirt he wore, and the light gilded his skin.

“Miniature horse is the correct term, I understand. Nolie has started training them.”

If he kept using that soft, laughing tone with her, she was in big trouble. “For what? The circus?”

“Believe it or not, she hopes to use them instead of dogs for people who are blind. She says the breed of horses is intelligent and longer-lived than dogs, and should make good guides.”

“Seeing-eye horses. Well, I guess that’s no more astonishing than anything else I’ve seen around here. Nolie’s Ark, according to the sign.”

“She wanted to change it when she and Gabe got married, but he wouldn’t agree. He says Nolie’s Ark gave him back his life, and he won’t have the place called anything else.”

Davy was swinging on the bottom rail of the fence, crooning a song softly to himself as he watched the animals.

“I didn’t mean to embarrass your brother by mentioning the dog the other day. I didn’t know about his disability.”

“You didn’t embarrass him. He’s adjusted to it now. At first—” Seth’s face sobered. “When it looked as if Gabe couldn’t fight fire any more, we didn’t know what to do to help him. Then Nolie gave him a reason to go on living.”

She shivered in spite of the warmth of the September sun. “That could have been you.”

She regretted it as soon as the words were out. He’d closed her out before when she’d mentioned the dangers of a job like his for a single father.

“I guess it could have.” He stared absently at the goat, which seemed to be trying to eat its way through the fence. “You can’t think about results like that on the job or you’d be worthless. To fight fire, you need a certain belief in—well, your own invincibility, I guess.”

She thought again of the way he’d stepped in to put the heavy ladder up, casually confident in his body’s ability to do what was needed. She had to admit, that air of confidence was very compelling.

“But you have a son.” She couldn’t hold the words back. “If something happened to you—”

He shrugged, pressing his arm against hers and sending another wave of warmth flooding her. “Every firefighter faces that. In my case, I’m a single father, but I do have family.” He nodded toward the picnic tables, smiling. “Lots and lots of family. If something happened to me, they’d take over.”

“And your wife?” It took an effort to keep her tone casual. “Would her family help out?”

For an instant he didn’t move, didn’t answer. Her question hung there, like the bumblebee that was poised over a flower at her feet.

“No.” His tone brought her gaze to his face, and what she saw there chilled her. “My wife had a mother who left her, a father who controlled her every move and a sister who deserted her. She didn’t want to have anything to do with her family. And neither do I.”

His words were totally implacable. All the friendly laughter had been wiped from his face. He meant what he said.

So she couldn’t tell him the truth. Ever.

Chapter Four

Julie was still struggling with Seth’s words when she arrived at the firehouse on Monday. She’d gone over and over it, and she couldn’t come to any other conclusion. If Seth knew who she was, he’d hate her.

My wife had…a sister who deserted her. Was that really how Lisa had seen Julie’s actions? Pain clutched at her heart. Was it?

She took a deep, steadying breath and willed the pain away, trying to regain her detachment. Lisa was gone, and she couldn’t change anything she’d done or neglected to do. She’d concluded a long time ago that they’d both just done what they thought was necessary to survive emotionally.

For her, that meant keeping the shield of her detachment in place. She’d finally figured out how to do that with her father, so that she could see him every month or two, like a dutiful daughter, and still come away whole.

For Lisa, surviving had meant severing the ties completely, so Julie had respected her sister’s decision. At least, she’d told herself that was what she was doing when she hadn’t attempted to stay in touch.

Had Lisa interpreted that as desertion? Seth had said so, and Seth should know.

The pain flared, like flames shooting up from dying embers. She quenched them again. This wasn’t about her pain, or her past.

This was about assuring herself that Davy was in the best situation for him. She’d take that step by methodical step, as if she was researching an article about any child.

On the surface, the answer seemed obvious. Davy had plenty of people who loved him, like the children in the books she’d read to Lisa when they were little.

She and Lisa hadn’t quite believed in those big, happy families, but the Flanagans obviously did exist.

Still, she had questions, starting with Seth’s determination to continue in what had to be a dangerous job. The Flanagans seemed to take firefighting for granted. She didn’t.

She couldn’t just accept Seth’s view that the rigorous training he and the other firefighters went through would keep them safe. She had to see that for herself—and that meant going with them on a fire call. So far Seth had done an excellent job of evading that request.

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