She put out her hand. “I’m Leah Paxson.”

Ben said the first words that came into his head, something he never did. “You can’t be!”

Leah grinned. “The last time I looked in the mirror, I was.”

“But…” Words failed him. Again. This wasn’t part of his plan. She wasn’t part of his plan. Desperate times might call for desperate measures, but that didn’t mean he had to hire a college student to be his daughter’s nanny. Hadn’t he told the agency representative what he wanted? Sedate. Quiet. Dignified. And didn’t those qualifications translate into someone elderly?

“I’m sorry, Miss Paxson. Please come in.” So I can fire you.

TINY BLESSINGS: Giving thanks for the neediest of God’s children, and the families who take them in!

KATHRYN SPRINGER

is a lifelong Wisconsin resident. Growing up in a “newspaper family,” she spent long hours as a child plunking out stories on her mother’s typewriter. She wrote her first “book” at the age of ten (which her mother still has!) and she hasn’t stopped writing since then. Initially, her writing was a well-kept secret that only her family and a few close friends knew about. Now, with her second book in print, the secret is out. Kathryn began writing inspirational romance because it allows her to combine her faith in God with her love of a happy ending.

Her Christmas Wish
Kathryn Springer

www.millsandboon.co.uk

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

—Jeremiah 29:11

This book is for the two special guys in my life, whom God has blessed me with:

Reid—who spent a summer patiently emptying the dishwasher, answering the phone and waiting until after lunch to go fishing so Mom could write in the mornings.

And to Pete—who steadies me during the ups and downs of a writer’s life and doesn’t look at me like I’m crazy when I tell him there are people talking in my head (they’re characters, honey, really!).

I love you both.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Letter to Reader

Chapter One

“Are you telling me there’s a nanny shortage?”

Ben Cavanaugh tried to keep his voice even but he knew his frustration level had risen in direct proportion to the number of days he and Olivia had been forced to manage without Mrs. Baker.

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you, Mr. Cavanaugh,” Mrs. Wallace, the director of Tender Care Childcare, said seriously. “We placed most of our nannies months ago, when school recessed for the summer. I’m just not sure if we can help you. When did you say you needed someone?”

Yesterday. That’s when he needed someone. Ben exhaled a silent, steady breath. If he were a praying man, this probably would have been the time to appeal to God to intervene somehow. He didn’t. Instead, he reluctantly moved to Plan B.

“Can you recommend another agency?” he asked, pinning the telephone between his ear and shoulder as he searched his desk for a pen. The only one he could locate had a bright pink pom-pom where there should have been an eraser. He tested it on a piece of paper and the ink came out: pink glitter suspended in clear goo. He definitely had to have a talk with his daughter about what constituted a proper writing tool!

“If you can give me a few more days, I’m sure we can help you,” Mrs. Wallace said.

Ben hesitated. Tender Care was his first choice. Not only did it have a wonderful reputation in Chestnut Grove, it was also the agency that had given them the woman Olivia had affectionately dubbed Nanny Baker—a soft-spoken, older woman who had lived with them the past seven years. Olivia had been three months old when Nanny Baker moved in with them and over the years they’d grown extremely close. He couldn’t imagine another woman taking Nanny Baker’s place in Olivia’s life…or her heart.

But the reality was he didn’t have a few days. “Mrs. Wallace, I appreciate it, but…”

A soft but audible click broke into their conversation. Ben knew what was coming next. He had call-waiting on his phone, too. “Will you please hold for a moment, Mr. Cavanaugh?”

“No problem.” He leaned back in his chair and while he waited he studied a photo of Nanny Baker and Olivia that he’d taken during an outing in Winchester Park. Olivia had made the frame herself from craft sticks, glitter—lots of glitter—and an equally generous amount of glue. The two of them were smiling for the camera but for the first time Ben noticed that Nanny Baker looked, well, tired.

Reluctantly, he had to acknowledge the fact that with each passing year it had become more difficult for Nanny to keep up with an active child, no matter how good-natured. And Olivia was good-natured, there was no doubt about it, but her body was as busy as her mind, and her tongue had both of them beaten for speed!

When Nanny Baker had told him that her only sister in Arizona was recovering from surgery and had asked her to move in with her, he’d assumed that it would be a temporary arrangement. He’d immediately started compiling a list of temporary replacements until Nanny had gently corrected him. She’d been considering retirement for several months and was looking forward to being close to family again. Not, she’d quickly assured him, that he and Olivia weren’t like family to her, but she knew this was something she needed to do.

Which was why they were now nannyless.

“Mr. Cavanaugh?” The director was back on the line, only now there was something new in her tone, a spark of excitement that hadn’t been there before. “I was just on the telephone with Leah Paxson, one of our nannies. She was hired six months ago by a family in Richmond and she just found out the children’s father has accepted a transfer to London that is effective immediately. She is returning to Chestnut Grove this afternoon and she, well, she’s available, Mr. Cavanaugh. Isn’t that wonderful news!”

Ben couldn’t believe it. For a moment, he didn’t know what to say. The thought chased through his mind that maybe God had intervened, but he shook it away. He knew better.

“Did you hear me, Mr. Cavanaugh? I can set up an interview between you and Miss Paxson tomorrow.”

“She’s well-qualified?” Desperate circumstances or not, he wasn’t going to hire just anyone to look after Olivia. He owed it to both his daughter and to the memory of his wife, Julia, to make sure that Olivia had the best of care while he was at work.

“The family asked Leah to accompany them to London,” the director said. “I know they’ve been extremely happy with her. She’s worked with our agency for five years now and I’ve never heard any negative comments about her. She’s a natural with children.”

A natural. She certainly sounded qualified. Silently, he went through his schedule for the next day and made a few adjustments.

“How does eleven o’clock tomorrow morning sound?” he asked. “I’d like her to come right to the house. My office is here and I think it would be good for her to see where she’ll be living if she accepts the position.”

“I’ll call Miss Paxson back right away, Mr. Cavanaugh. Eleven o’clock tomorrow.”

Ben hung up the phone, relief pouring through him. Mrs. Baker hadn’t wanted to go to Arizona until they’d found a replacement for her, but Ben had insisted, confident that it would be a day or two at the most until Tender Care provided another nanny. He hadn’t considered that a week after her departure, he’d still be waiting. And now it looked as if the wait might finally be over.

Seven years ago, he’d told Mrs. Wallace exactly what qualifications were necessary for the woman who would be Olivia’s nanny. Nanny Baker had fulfilled every one—quiet, sedate and grandmotherly. Ben could only assume that Leah Paxson would be just like her.

Leah Paxson was a firm believer in the adage, “When God closes a door, He opens a window.” She reminded herself of that several times while pacing the length of her tiny studio apartment, praying about the interview that Mrs. Wallace had set up for her the following morning with Mr. Ben Cavanaugh. She was still a bit shell-shocked from the rapid change in her employment situation and although the family she’d been living with had practically begged her to go to England with them, Leah knew she had ties to the States that couldn’t stretch that far.

She knew that God would direct her path, but she was still amazed at how quickly He’d answered! When she’d called Mrs. Wallace to explain what had happened, the director said she actually had a man on the other line who needed a nanny for his daughter. When she’d called back to set up the interview, all she’d told Leah was that Mr. Cavanaugh was a widower whose wife had died when his daughter was an infant. It would be a live-in position, of course, because he owned his own business and he was gone quite a bit. And the little girl—Olivia Cavanaugh—was seven.

Seven. Leah had felt a familiar but painful twist inside. Seven years ago, at the age of seventeen, Leah had given up her baby girl for adoption. After graduating from high school, she’d applied at Tender Care Childcare to be a nanny and discovered that caring for other people’s children actually helped ease the ache in her heart, instead of magnifying it. With every smile or hug she gave, she secretly prayed that her own child was receiving one, too, from loving parents.

“You’ll let me know, won’t You, God, if You want me to take this position?” Leah asked, pausing in front of the window that overlooked the street. In the five years she’d worked for Tender Care, she’d always lived with the families who employed her but she still paid rent on the studio, needing the security of knowing she had a place of her own if necessary.

Flopping down on the futon that doubled as her bed, she closed her eyes, not accustomed to the silence. The family she’d just left had had three preschool aged children, which meant her evenings were filled with activity until the last one fell asleep. Usually by this time at night, she was tired, damp from being splashed with warm sudsy bath water and nursing a sore throat from having read Dr. Seuss at least five times. She didn’t mind—it meant her arms were never empty, either.

Reaching out, Leah grabbed a pillow and hugged it against her middle. Her arms might not be empty now, but she could still feel an empty space in her heart. Maybe Olivia Cavanaugh would fill it, she thought drowsily as she fell asleep.

Ben glanced at his watch. It was only quarter to eleven. He breathed a sigh of relief. For a split second, he was afraid that the young woman, who was practically skipping up the sidewalk to his front door, was Leah Paxson. When he’d heard the slam of a car door, curiosity had drawn him to the window just in time to see a petite, slender woman slide from the driver’s side of a VW New Beetle. A VW New Beetle the shade of a ripe honeydew melon. Its owner was just as unique. She was wearing a white lace shirt, khaki field pants that ended just below the knee…and something on her feet that looked suspiciously like combat boots. He couldn’t quite make out her features until the breeze lifted her glossy brown hair and pushed it away from her face, revealing her profile. He frowned. There was something familiar about her.

He checked his planner again but there were no appointments until late afternoon. Maybe she was looking for Jonah. Jonah Fraser worked for him, and although he didn’t seek female attention, it seemed to find him anyway. It gave Ben something to hassle him about.

The doorbell rang and Ben went to answer it, hoping that whatever business the young woman had with Jonah could be resolved in less than ten minutes. Before the new nanny arrived.

“Mr. Cavanaugh?”

Ben nodded. It was all he could manage. She was at least a foot shorter than he was and the eyes looking up into his were a warm, glowing topaz.

She put out her hand. “I’m Leah Paxson.”

He said the first words that came into his head, something he never did. “You can’t be!”

She grinned. “The last time I looked in the mirror, I was.”

“But…” Words failed him. Again. This wasn’t part of his plan. She wasn’t part of his plan. Desperate times might call for desperate measures, but that didn’t mean he had to hire a college student who looked like she was auditioning for a part on a teen TV show. Hadn’t he told Mrs. Wallace what he wanted? Sedate? Quiet? Dignified? And didn’t those qualifications translate into someone elderly?

“I’m sorry, Miss Paxson. Please come in.” So I can fire you.

He pivoted sharply and heard her fall into step behind him. By the time they reached his office at the end of the hall, his frustration level had tripled. He was already behind on two jobs because of Nanny Baker’s unexpected departure and now he was going to have to spend more time interviewing nannies. Even though Jonah had picked up the slack the past few days, Ben didn’t like the feeling that he was neglecting his clients. And Tiffany, one of the teenagers in Reverend Fraser’s youth group, hadn’t minded watching Olivia in the evenings but she’d been hinting recently that the girls’ basketball season would be starting soon.

“Sit down.” He hadn’t meant for his voice to sound so gruff but Leah Paxson didn’t seem to notice. She was looking around his office with lively interest. In fact, she almost hummed with energy. It reminded him a little of Olivia. Silently, he groaned. Great, his potential nanny reminded him of a seven-year-old!

“You’re a carpenter, aren’t you, Mr. Cavanaugh?” she asked.

He nodded, not wanting to be drawn into pleasant small talk. Brutal honesty was necessary. “Miss Paxson, I have to tell you that I was expecting someone older…much older. Mrs. Baker is in her sixties and she’s brought a lot of stability to Olivia’s—my daughter’s—life. When I spoke with Mrs. Wallace on the phone yesterday, she didn’t mention you were so young.”

“I’m twenty-four,” Leah said, giving him her full attention now. “I look younger because of my height, I suppose.”

Twenty-four. Positively ancient, Ben thought wryly. He moved some papers on his desk and suddenly saw a bright pink sheet of paper that he hadn’t noticed before, with Olivia’s handwriting on it. The title read “Questions for the Nanny.”

When had the little sprite put this on his desk?

He quickly scanned the list and an odd feeling began to sweep through him.

Are you frendly?

Do you read books?

Are you alergick to animals?

When you go to the park, do the swings make you sick?

Can you make macaroni and cheese not from a box?

Do you have rolerblads or can you borrow some?

Are you craby in the morning before you drink cofee?

As Ben read through the questions, he was struck by the enormity of their meaning. When he’d hired Nanny Baker, he’d deliberately chosen a woman who would be a surrogate grandmother, not a mother. To have hired someone close to Julia’s age would have felt like a betrayal. But now he knew he’d missed something. Something important. Nanny Baker had been almost sixty when she moved in with them and already beginning to suffer from arthritis. She took Olivia to the park but sat on the bench and watched her while she played. And from the time Olivia could talk, she’d begged for a pet, but Nanny Baker was allergic to animals. Olivia had had to be content with a goldfish named Pearl. And he was pretty sure Nanny Baker had never discovered a passion for in-line skating!

He could feel Leah’s gaze on him. “Ah, it seems my daughter decided to take part in the interview process.”

Leah smiled and settled comfortably into the chair. “I’m ready.”

There was no point. What he needed to do was tell Leah Paxson—politely—that he couldn’t hire her, call Mrs. Wallace and ask her—politely—what in the world she’d been thinking, and start back at square one. His gaze drifted to the photo of Olivia and Nanny Baker again, then back to the young woman who sat across from him. She was too young. Too unconventional. Too…pretty. He ruthlessly squashed that wayward thought. But there was something about her…

“Why do I get the feeling, Miss Paxson, that if I tear up this piece of paper, somehow it’s going to piece itself together again and you’ll be back here tomorrow?”

“Mmm.” Leah seemed to consider the notion and he caught a glimpse of a dimple in her left cheek as a slow smile drew up the corners of her lips and warmed her eyes. “Let me guess. You want someone firm, respectable and no-nonsense. Isn’t that right, Mr. Banks?”

She’d seen Mary Poppins, too. And not just once, if she’d caught on that fast. It happened to be one of Olivia’s favorite movies and he had half the lines memorized. And, thanks to a case of the chicken pox when Olivia was two, the lyrics of every song.

“Exactly so.” His imitation of a British accent was so terrible he could tell Leah Paxson was trying not to laugh. He gave in with a sigh and looked down at Olivia’s list. “Are you friendly?”

“I am friendly. But very strict,” Leah said promptly.

“Really?” Somehow, he found that difficult to believe. Maybe it was the boots. “Read books?”

Leah nodded. “And play games…all sorts.”

Ben felt his lips twitch. “Allergic to animals?”

“Not a bit.”

“When you go to the park, do the swings make you sick?”

“The swings, no.” Leah leaned forward. “But I hate the slide. I’m afraid of heights. Do you think that’s going to count against me?”

“I think that evens it out. Can you, and I quote, ‘make macaroni and cheese not from a box?’”

“Blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back.”

Suddenly, he had a visual of Leah Paxson’s face as she moved around the kitchen, with only her pert nose and softly curved mouth showing underneath a blindfold. His office felt warm and he cleared his throat. “Do you have Rollerblades or can you borrow some?”

“I’m willing to give it a try. But not without elbow and knee pads and a federally approved helmet.”

Now he did smile.

“Crabby in the morning before you drink coffee?”

“I only drink herbal tea,” Leah said, “unless someone happens to offer me a cappuccino with whipped cream and sprinkles. And I’m never crabby.”

Somehow, Ben knew that the words he was about to say were going to change his peaceful, quiet home. Maybe forever. “Would you agree to a trial period, Miss Paxson?”

Chapter Two

When the door had opened, Leah was sure of two things. She was sure that Ben Cavanaugh was a man who didn’t smile very often, and she was sure it would be divine intervention if she was offered the position.

She was right on both counts.

What she hadn’t been prepared for was the fact that Ben Cavanaugh was going to be so—just admit it, Leah—so attractive. The fact that he’d been getting ready to terminate her, which at less than sixty seconds may have set a record for the shortest employment term in history, didn’t lessen the impact his serious brown-eyed gaze had on her. Then, just when she knew she’d be back in Mrs. Wallace’s office by noon, still jobless, he’d stumbled on the note from his daughter and his expression had softened.

Up to that point, she would have guessed he was a perfectionist who didn’t allow room for error. The kind of man who made sure the people in his life had been carefully mitered to fit there. Then he’d totally blown her theory by showing an unexpected—and humorous—knowledge of Mary Poppins. Which just happened to be one of her favorite movies.

“Miss Paxson? Would a month’s trial period be agreeable to you?” Ben prompted.

“That would be fine.” She noticed that the humor had faded from his eyes. He already looked like he regretted his decision.

“Why don’t you come by this evening to meet Olivia,” Ben suggested, his tone once again distant and professional. “If you can start tomorrow, I’ll arrange for your things to be moved over.”

Leah thought of the meager possessions she had in her apartment. “Tender Care has always arranged those details for me,” she told him, even as she silently admitted that it was her pride that didn’t want him to know how little she actually owned.

She watched as Ben, still obviously lost in thought, picked up a photo on his desk, framed with painted craft sticks.

“Is that a picture of Olivia?” Leah leaned forward in anticipation as Ben handed her the photograph….

And felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach.

The little girl grinning at her from the photo looked achingly familiar. From the soft, wispy autumn curls to the wide, velvety brown eyes, the girl in the photo was a seven-year-old replica of Leah’s mother, Sara Paxson, when she’d been a child.

“She’s beautiful,” Leah stammered, realizing that Ben was waiting for her to say something. “She looks like you.”

It was only half-true. Olivia Cavanaugh may have inherited her father’s coloring, but the heart-shaped face that gave her an almost pixieish look had come from someone else. Leah continued to stare at the photo, mesmerized.

“You aren’t the first person to say that,” Ben said slowly. “But my wife, Julia, and I adopted Olivia right after she was born.”

Leah swallowed. Hard. It had to be a coincidence. A coincidence that Olivia Cavanaugh looked so much like the pictures taken of her mother when she was a little girl.

“We adopted her from Tiny Blessings Adoption Agency,” Ben continued. “I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

Leah tried to maintain her composure even as an energy-draining numbness began to seep into every pore. Of course she’d heard of Tiny Blessings. When she’d gotten pregnant at sixteen, she’d made a sacrifice that had ripped out her heart, while at the same time it had given her child what she’d never had—two loving parents. And Tiny Blessings had placed her child with those loving parents.

Concentrate, Leah, she told herself. The photo started to get fuzzy and she blinked, focusing on the colorful plastic lei around Olivia’s neck and the jeweled tiara on her head. “Was this taken at her birthday party?”

“Yes.” Ben had a distracted, faraway look in his eyes. Leah could see the pain that shadowed them and somehow knew he was remembering his wife. “Olivia turned seven in May.”

Now her mouth was completely dry. “May?”

He nodded. “May fifth.”

Leah laced her fingers together to keep them from shaking. It didn’t work. Fine tremors began to course through her body. She prayed that Ben wouldn’t notice.

“I don’t want to cut our interview short, Miss Paxson.” Ben rose to his feet, signaling the fact that he was about to do just that. “When you come over tonight to meet Olivia, we can talk specifics about your job. That way there will be no surprises for either of us.”

From his tone, it was obvious that he didn’t like surprises. Leah rose to her feet, resisting the urge to wipe her damp hands on her cargo pants. “That will be fine.”

“Miss Paxson?” Ben looked slightly uncomfortable.

Leah waited, her breath catching in her throat. Maybe he’d already changed his mind…

“Is what you’re wearing, ah, the standard issue uniform for all the nannies at Tender Care?” He was staring down at her boots.

“Of course,” Leah said, her sense of humor surfacing despite her agitation. It was one of the things that she’d learned over the years—to look for the joy in every situation. She deliberately widened her eyes. “You mean Mrs. Baker didn’t wear hers?”

Ben stared at her. She knew he was intelligent, but somewhere along the way his sense of humor had definitely slipped its track.

“That was a joke, Mr. Cavanaugh.”

“Oh.” He forced a smile.

“This is my confidence outfit.” He was still looking rather uncertain, so Leah realized she needed to explain. “Last summer I lived with a family whose oldest daughter was thirteen and very shy. I encouraged her to try out for a summer play at the high school and we went shopping before the tryouts for a confidence outfit. She let me pick it out. When the time came for me to leave and I had to interview with a new family, Christine took me shopping. Only that time, she picked out my confidence outfit. I promised her I’d wear it every time I had a new interview.”

“So the boots…”

“You’ll never see them again.” The truth was she loved them. But if she had to choose between her favorite footwear and the chance to meet Olivia Cavanaugh, the boots would be banished to the back of the closet.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with them,” he said quickly. Too quickly.

“Is there anything else, Mr. Cavanaugh?” She really needed to find a quiet place to fall apart. At least she’d just discovered a hidden benefit of her boots—they prevented her ankles from shaking. “Did you want to check my umbrella to make sure there’s not a talking parrot on the end of it?”

At the look on Ben Cavanaugh’s face, Leah wished she had a rewind button on her lips. People told her she had a rather offbeat sense of humor and even though Ben had started the whole Mary Poppins thing to begin with…

“A joke, right, Miss Paxson?” he ventured quietly.

She nodded, not trusting herself to say another word.

“We’ll see you tonight.”

She ducked toward the door.

“Miss Paxson?”

Leah paused.

“Bring your umbrella.”

Ben knew the exact moment when Leah’s honeydew-on-wheels pulled into the driveway. Olivia, who had had her face pressed to the window for almost an hour, gave an excited shriek.

“Daddy, she’s here! Miss Paxson is here!”

He plucked the dishcloth off his shoulder, triple-folded it and hung it over the sink. “You can let her…”

The front door slammed.

“In.”

He shook his head, realizing that his concern over Olivia accepting a new nanny had been wasted energy. From the time he’d picked her up from school she’d asked him a million questions about Leah. Then changed the order and asked them all again.

While he made supper, she’d taken it upon herself to dust Leah’s room, even though no dust had dared to settle there while Nanny Baker occupied it. Olivia had even put some of her favorite stuffed animals on the bed as a welcoming committee.

He knew he should be relieved that Olivia wasn’t grieving over Nanny Baker’s departure but he still felt a bit uneasy. Especially since Leah Paxson was only with them on a trial basis.

He still thought she was too young. And too unconventional. And too…he clamped down hard on the next thought before it could surface again.

Nanny Baker had fit smoothly into their lives. The evenings in his home were generally quiet and orderly. By the time he got home from work, Olivia and Nanny had already eaten supper. Olivia had her bath while he watched the news or read the paper. Then, he helped Olivia with her homework. Nanny Baker read to her. He tucked her in. Together, they had been a well-oiled machine. Shortly after Olivia went to bed, Nanny Baker retired to her room, giving him the freedom to stretch out on the sofa with a bag of microwave popcorn and the latest bestselling suspense novel.

Why did he have the uneasy feeling that Leah was going to be the proverbial wrench in that well-oiled machine?

Ben exhaled slowly. More than anything, he wanted Olivia to be happy. In a sense, she’d lost two mothers. The first was her birth mother, who Ben had been told was a teenager when she’d had Olivia and given her up for adoption, and then Julia, who’d fallen in love with her on sight but had had only two precious months to hold her.

He tried to do the best he could, but many times he felt ill-equipped to handle the enormous responsibilities of being a parent, especially now that Olivia was getting older. With his mother living in Florida, he’d had to trust Mrs. Baker to provide a feminine influence in his daughter’s life.

Now the question was, could he trust Leah Paxson?

Twice on the way to the Cavanaughs’ home, Leah felt a wave of panic wash over her. When she was half a block away, she was tempted to call Mrs. Wallace and tell her she had decided to turn down the position.

She’d spent the afternoon sifting through the box of photos she’d inherited when her mother passed away, trying to come to grips with the fact that Olivia Cavanaugh was the baby she’d given birth to. Seven years ago. The child she never thought she’d see again. Not only was her resemblance to Leah’s mother uncanny, but Leah could see Olivia in the pictures taken of her as a child.

Now, as she turned the corner that took her into the quiet neighborhood where the Cavanaughs lived, she struggled with what to do. She knew Ben Cavanaugh wouldn’t hire her if he even suspected she was Olivia’s biological mother. He wouldn’t understand her motive….

What is your motive? The question rose up and mocked her, but it was her heart, not her head, that responded. She wanted to know Olivia. And even though she had no intention of hurting her, Ben Cavanaugh wouldn’t care. His first instinct would be to protect his child.

My child…

She whispered the words out loud and then, as the house came into view, she saw a face in the living room window. And then a blur of pink and lavender rushing down the sidewalk toward her car.

God, help me. I don’t think I can do this.

Immediately, the suffocating weight disappeared and she was able to breathe again.

There was a light rap on the passenger window of her car. Leah dared to look over and saw Olivia’s smiling face looking in at her. She slid out of the car and tested her knees, wondering if they were going to do their job and hold her upright.

“Your car is a funny color.”

Now Olivia was right beside her, her eyes bright and curious. Her finger traced a crooked path down the hood of the car.

Leah felt hot tears prickle her eyes as her heart struggled to absorb every detail about Olivia Cavanaugh. She was small for her age. Her hair had been expertly braided into matching pigtails. She was missing a front tooth. Her fingernails were coated with pink polish.

“Charlie is a little different.” Leah forced herself to concentrate.

“Charlie?” Olivia’s head tilted to one side, reminding Leah of a little bird.

“That’s its name. And your name must be Olivia.”

“Yup. But our car doesn’t have a name.” Olivia giggled.

As used to the sound of childish giggles as she was, this one went straight to her heart. Leah had expected Olivia to be shy, perhaps even resentful, of the woman taking Mrs. Baker’s place. She hadn’t expected the little girl to be so open and friendly.

When Olivia slipped her hand into Leah’s, Leah caught her breath.

“My daddy told me all about you,” Olivia chattered as they made their way up the sidewalk. She lowered her voice a little. “He said you don’t like the slide.”

“I think that for you I’d be willing to give it a try again,” Leah said, allowing Olivia to tow her into the house.

“We can go down like a train,” Olivia said. “Then you won’t be scared.”

Without warning, they turned a corner and Leah came face-to-face with Ben. He was standing in the kitchen beside the sink, obviously cleaning up from supper. Even dressed in work clothes, with his dark hair brushing the collar of his denim shirt, he looked like he’d just stepped out of a magazine cologne ad.

“Daddy, Miss Paxson said she’d go down the slide with me!”

Leah was glad that Olivia’s presence deflected the attention away from her, because she wasn’t sure she was good at pretending.

“Are you feeling all right, Miss Paxson?” He frowned at her.

Obviously she wasn’t as good at pretending as she’d hoped!

“I’m fine.” She forced her eyes to meet his.

He didn’t look convinced.

Fortunately, Olivia was anxious to show her to her room and Leah was able to escape Ben’s intense, brown-eyed gaze.

“Your room is next to mine,” Olivia told her as they reached the top of the stairs and walked down the narrow hallway. “There’s a door between them, but Nanny B didn’t want me to use it unless it was an emergency.”

“I see.” Leah hid a smile.

“Do you think thunderstorms are emergencies?” Olivia slid an anxious look at her.

“Definitely.”

“What about bad dreams?”

“Those, too.”

Olivia’s eyes reflected her relief. “Really?”

“And I think that cold toes and spelling tests and needing to talk are all emergencies, too.”

“You do?” Olivia squeaked.

Leah resisted the urge to sweep the little girl into her arms. Memories that she’d tucked away for seven years began to surface. The last time she’d held this child in her arms was hours after she’d given birth to her, when a sympathetic young nurse had brought her into Leah’s room to say goodbye. Her baby’s face was etched in her memory, the velvety skin of her cheek and the tuft of golden-brown hair on her head.

Olivia was patting her arm. “Do you like it?”

Leah snapped back to the present and realized Olivia was asking her about the room.

“It’s perfect,” Leah said, studying the small bedroom. There was a single bed positioned against one wall, made up with a pale green comforter and matching shams. At the foot of the bed was a beautiful trunk fitted with brass hinges. She wondered if Ben had made it. The floral curtains on the window were faded, but Leah thought they only added to the room’s overall charm.

“This was Uncle Eli’s room,” Olivia said. “Daddy said the walls used to be brown.” She made a face.

“Is Uncle Eli your father’s brother?” Leah was anxious to piece together a picture of the Cavanaugh family.

“He’s a doctor.” Olivia bounced onto the bed, toppling a pyramid of stuffed animals that had been resting on the pillow. “He married Aunt Rachel. Aunt Rachel has pretty hair. She likes to braid mine.” Olivia gave a long-suffering sigh. “I let her.”

Leah chuckled. “I hope I get a chance to meet them.”

“Aunt Rachel invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner,” Olivia informed her. “Uncle Eli told me I’d have to help make the pies because Aunt Rachel only knows how to order them from the cate…” Olivia stumbled over the unfamiliar word.

“Caterer?” Leah guessed.

“Yup. And Grammy and Papa are coming from Florida to eat turkey with us. Papa always brings me a new shell for my collection.”

Leah tamped down the butterflies that had taken flight in her stomach once again. In the past, the families she worked for had always given her holidays off. She’d never been included in the actual celebrations, and even though she and Ben hadn’t worked out the specifics of her contract yet, she was sure that the Cavanaughs wouldn’t be any different.

Olivia skipped across the room and opened a narrow door centered in the wall. “Do you want to see my room?”

“I’d love to.”

Leah followed her into a little girl’s wonderland. From the ruffled valances that framed the windows to the fluffy comforter on the bed, everything was iced in pink.

Over the past five years, Leah had learned to tell a lot about the children in her life by their bedrooms. With a quick glance around the room, she could see that Olivia loved books, stuffed animals and music.

She could also see that Olivia was well-loved but not overly indulged. There was no computer, expensive stereo or television in her room like there had been in some of the bedrooms of the children she’d cared for. Instead, there was an artist’s easel, a bin overflowing with ink pads and rubber stamps and a microphone attached to a tiny boom box. On a nightstand next to bed, one lone goldfish with a filmy tail resided in a very clean bowl.

Her respect for Ben Cavanaugh rose even more. He was a good father.

Thank You, Lord. The simple words took wing from deep inside her. Ben Cavanaugh was exactly the kind of father she had prayed for for Olivia. The kind of father she hadn’t had. And even though he seemed a bit rigid and controlled, she wondered if that hadn’t come from losing his wife at such a young age.

For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The verse swept into her thoughts and Leah clung to it, just like she had the first time she’d heard it, shortly after she’d given her baby up for adoption. Her future had looked bleak. She was exhausted from carrying the guilt that weighted down her heart. But then she’d discovered that God loved her and had a plan for her. Those were the words that had brought healing to her life.

As sure as Leah was that God had brought peace into her life, she knew that He’d also brought her to the Cavanaughs.

Chapter Three

Ben paused in the doorway, realizing that Olivia was so caught up in giving Leah an item-by-item description of her favorite things that she hadn’t noticed him yet.

It gave him a few seconds to study the new nanny.

As he watched, Leah put out her hand as if she was going to ruffle Olivia’s hair, but at the last second she withdrew it and crossed her arms instead. He wondered if she was the type of person who wasn’t comfortable with physical affection. When he was younger, he hadn’t been much of what his mother liked to call a “hugger” either, but having Olivia had changed that. The first time she’d grabbed his finger and squeezed it in her tiny fist, she’d won him over completely to the hugging side of life.

For the second time that day, he had the feeling that he’d seen Leah somewhere before. Chestnut Grove wasn’t that big…he must have caught a glimpse of her at the park or the diner at some point in time.

“This is Pearl….”

Olivia finally took a breath and Ben took advantage of the opportunity to break into their conversation.

“Is your room all right, Miss Paxson?”

Olivia let out a little shriek and Leah jumped. He was surprised her feet could leave the ground in those boots.

“Daddy, you scared us,” Olivia scolded.

“I’m sorry.” He said the words automatically, even as he noticed that Leah’s cheeks were tinted pink.

“It’s fine, Mr. Cavanaugh. Thank you.”

“Miss Paxson said that I can use the door between our rooms,” Olivia said. “But she has more emergencies than Nanny B had.”

Ben tried to decipher those cryptic words and gave up. “I know you have a spelling test tomorrow, peanut, so why don’t you study your list while Miss Paxson and I talk about some things.”

Olivia looked disappointed but she nodded. “You’ll be here tomorrow, won’t you, Miss Paxson?”

Leah glanced at him, almost as if she were wondering if he’d changed his mind. Not that he hadn’t spent most of the afternoon considering it! “I’ll be here when you get home from school.”

“Nanny B always picked me up,” Olivia explained.

“Then I suppose I’ll pick you up, too.”

“Which is one of the things Miss Paxson and I need to talk about,” Ben said meaningfully to his daughter.

“It was nice to meet you, Olivia,” Leah whispered before following him downstairs.

Ben caught a whiff of something stirring the air that smelled like vanilla. He realized it was Leah. He quickened his pace a little and decided to talk to her in his office again instead of the living room.

“Olivia seems to like you.” He motioned for Leah to sit down in the chair opposite his desk.

“She’s a very sweet little girl.”

Ben didn’t like feeling off-center. And the truth was he’d been feeling off-centered since that morning, when he’d interviewed Leah for the job. “My work takes me away from home a lot, Miss Paxson, and even though Olivia is in school full-time during the day, I don’t want her to be a latchkey kid when she comes home, making her own supper and waiting for me to come home in the evening. When Mrs. Baker left, I adjusted my schedule the best I could, but I will need you to take Olivia to school and pick her up at the end of day. I work most evenings until seven, and Saturday mornings, too. You can have one evening off per week and every Sunday.”

He gave her a brief outline of the things that Mrs. Baker had taken care of and mentioned some of his own expectations about her duties. Finally he paused, waiting to see if Leah had any questions.

Nothing could have prepared him for the one she chose to ask.

“Where do you and Olivia worship on Sunday mornings?”

“Worship?”

“Do you have a church family?” She tried again.

“No.”

A church family? What kind of question was that? But he knew exactly what kind of question it was. It was the kind of question that someone who was a Christian would ask.

He saw something in her eyes that looked almost like regret. But why would Leah Paxson regret the fact that he didn’t go to church? Maybe for the same reason his parents did. The unwelcome thought pushed its way into his head. They’d always told him that when he lost Julia, he hadn’t lost God, but he knew that was only partially true. How could you lose a God you weren’t sure had been there to begin with?

Leah drew in a quick, unsteady breath. She could tell by the look on Ben’s face that he didn’t like her question. His expression wasn’t the neutral one of someone who went about their day-to-day business and didn’t think about God, either. He looked like someone who’d unexpectedly heard the name of a friend who’d betrayed him.

A red flag rose in her mind, but Leah knew she had a bad habit of turning red flags into banners. Yet she had an important question and she needed to know the answer.

“I go to Chestnut Grove Community Church,” she said. “Do I have your permission to take Olivia if she wants to go with me?”

His eyes said no. His mouth even opened and started to form the word.

“If she wants to go with you.” Those were the words she heard him say instead. And Leah could tell he was just as surprised as she was. “You’ve probably seen my brother and his wife there,” he added tersely.

“Uncle Eli,” Leah remembered, not able to place him by memory. There were two morning worship services so it wouldn’t be unusual that she didn’t know them. “And Aunt Rachel. Who uses a caterer.”

She probably shouldn’t have said that, but Ben smiled. “According to my brother, Rachel loves a challenge and she’s decided that cooking is the newest hill to conquer. She insists on making Thanksgiving dinner this year.”

“Olivia mentioned that. And your parents are visiting from Florida?”

“They’ll be here the day before Thanksgiving. Do you have family in Chestnut Grove?”

The only family she had was studying her spelling words, but she couldn’t tell him that. “No. My mom passed away three years ago.” No point in mentioning her dad. He’d abandoned them when Leah was five and she didn’t have a clue where he was.

“I’m sorry.”

The two words were simple and Leah had heard them many times before, but she could hear the sincerity in his voice. He’d lost someone he’d loved, too. For a moment, Leah felt a brief connection with him. “Thank you.”

Ben stood up. “Do you have any questions about your responsibilities or the schedule, Miss Paxson?”

The schedule. He’d gone over it at the beginning of their conversation, detail by minute detail. She didn’t have any questions about it but she already had a few changes in mind!

“Miss Paxson…” Ben hesitated and Leah braced herself. She’d known him less than twenty-four hours and had already figured out that when he said her name and then searched for the right words, he wasn’t going to be talking about an increase in her salary. “Mrs. Baker lived here for seven years. She became a member of the family. Like a grandmother.”

Uh-oh.

“You may want to go out…or have friends over. Maybe even your boyfriend.” Ben shoved his hands into his pockets. “I realize you have a life, Miss Paxson, and I know that taking care of my daughter is a job…”

The word boyfriend had temporarily frozen Leah in place, but when she realized what he was getting at, she knew she had to say something.

“Mr. Cavanaugh, this may sound silly, but taking care of children is my life. I’m committed to Olivia and it’s not just because I’m under contract—”

“Technically, you aren’t under contract yet,” Ben reminded her. “Until the trial period is over.”

Leah knew he hadn’t meant to hurt her with his matter-of-fact words, but she couldn’t imagine being with Olivia for a month and then leaving. Somehow, she knew a second goodbye would shatter her heart more than the first one. Getting to know her daughter, only to lose her again, would be even more devastating.

Ben plowed his fingers through his hair in a gesture that clearly communicated his discomfort. “While you’re living here, treat this house as your home. I want you to feel comfortable here. That’s all I meant. I wasn’t questioning your dedication.”

It was easy for Leah to see that she wasn’t what he’d expected, but because of the circumstances, he’d had to hire her. He realized that she wasn’t Nanny Baker, bless that woman’s grandmotherly heart, and he was trying to create some order out of the chaos her sudden departure had created. The trapped look in his eyes told her he was navigating unfamiliar territory and Leah had a strong hunch it was something he didn’t like to do.

She felt an overwhelming urge to see him smile again.

“Does that mean I can practice my cello?” She gave him a hopeful look.

“You don’t really play the cello, do you?” He was beginning to catch on.

“No. The saxophone.” She was rewarded by the glimmer of a smile in his eyes. Oh, well, it was a start. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Cavanaugh.”

It was getting late and even though her fingers itched to tuck Olivia in, she knew she had to be patient. Tomorrow night, she told herself as she followed Ben down the hall. Tomorrow she could put her daughter to bed and begin building bittersweet memories. He opened the front door for her and she suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, I forgot to give you this.” Leah dug into her bag and pulled out an umbrella.

Ben’s mouth slashed into a reluctant smile as he took it from her and held it up to the light, making a point to study it from every angle.

“Does it pass inspection?” Leah asked. “See, it’s quite ordinary, just like me.”

For a moment, she felt the full force of his gaze and there weren’t any shadows lingering there. His eyes were warm and unguarded and his next words sucked the air out of her lungs. “I don’t think ordinary is a word I’d use to describe you at all, Miss Paxson.”

Chapter Four

“Looks like you have company.”

Jonah Fraser’s muffled voice reached Ben, where he was wedged between the wall and a built-in bookcase they were trying to remove with as little damage to it as possible.

“Man, that can’t be your new nanny.”

Ben closed his eyes briefly. Judging by the amazed tone in Jonah’s voice, he suddenly knew exactly who the company was. It was anyone’s guess, however, as to why they were here. Leah had been living with them for a week now and she still hadn’t figured out the schedule. Either that, or—and his suspicions were growing stronger by the hour—she just didn’t care about the schedule.

The first thing she’d done after she’d moved in was change suppertime. When he’d come home from work the day Leah moved in, expecting to eat a plate of leftovers at seven, he’d discovered the table set for three. Olivia had cheerfully announced that she’d eaten a snack after school and from now they were all going to eat together.

The second thing was, she really did play the saxophone. And she played it from eight to eight-thirty every evening. Olivia claimed it helped her fall asleep but he found it difficult to concentrate on his novel with the mournful, steamy notes of a saxophone permeating the house.

Now it looked like he was about to discover yet another Leah-driven change. He slid out from behind the bookcase just in time to see Olivia and Leah walk into the room. Leah had a picnic basket tucked under one arm.

“We made you and Jonah a pie, Daddy,” Olivia said excitedly.

Jonah swung Olivia up and perched her on his shoulder as she giggled helplessly. “This is a nice surprise.” He grinned at Ben.

Ben glanced at Leah, who was carefully removing a pie from the basket. “Right. Surprise.” He couldn’t argue with that. Over the past week, his life had become one big surprise.

“We’re making pies to take to Uncle Eli’s,” Olivia said. “Leah said it’s always good to have extra to share.”

“I’ll go along with Leah,” Jonah said in such a cheerful voice that Ben suddenly wanted to stuff him behind the bookcase. “I’m Jonah Fraser, by the way.”

Leah straightened and extended her hand. “Reverend Fraser’s son, right? It’s nice to meet you. I’m Leah Paxson.”

“Always labeled as the minister’s kid,” Jonah said, shaking his head in wonder. “You never outgrow it.”

Leah smiled and Ben cleared his throat. One of Jonah’s eyebrows lifted but Ben ignored him. Leah’s amber gaze swung to him.

“I hope you don’t mind that we stopped by,” she said. “I told Olivia that when we finished making the pies, I’d take her to the Starlight for a hamburger and we decided we’d bring a treat over for the two of you on the way.”

“’Cause I worked so hard,” Olivia put in. “Two apple, one pumpkin and a cherry.”

Jonah swung Olivia down from his shoulder and as soon as her feet touched the floor, she bounced over to her father. “We brought you apple.”

Ben was still mulling over Leah’s words. He didn’t know if he minded that they were here. He remembered telling Leah where he kept a copy of his daily schedule in case she needed to get in touch with him. In an emergency. Maybe finding someone to eat an apple pie fresh from the oven was one of the emergencies on Leah’s list. He sighed.

Olivia felt it. “Are you tired, Daddy?”

They were all looking at him now. He forced a smile. “Nothing that a piece of apple pie won’t cure.”

“So, you’re risking—I mean eating—Thanksgiving dinner at Eli and Rachel’s this year, hmm?” Jonah said.

The truth was, Ben hadn’t even thought about Thanksgiving. He’d been too busy trying to finish his client’s library before they returned from their cruise in the Bahamas. “At least we’ll have pie.” He winked at Olivia.

His daughter turned to Leah. “Maybe you can help Aunt Rachel with the turkey.”

“Oh, sweetie…I won’t be with you on Thanksgiving.”

“Why not?” Olivia’s voice echoed around the spacious room.

Ben saw a shadow pass across Leah’s face, dimming the warm sparkle that he was used to seeing in her eyes. “Well, holidays are for families. I never spend holidays with the people I work for.”

But she didn’t have a family. Ben remembered her telling him that her mother had passed away. She hadn’t mentioned a father and he assumed there must have been a reason why.

“But you’re part of the family,” Olivia insisted and then turned pleading eyes to him to say something.

He wasn’t sure what to say. The bond that had quickly forged between Olivia and her new nanny concerned him. Leah was young and pretty, it was only a matter of time until she met someone and fell in love, got married and started a family of her own…and then she’d leave. Even though she was young, Leah was closer to a mother figure than Nanny Baker had been. Nanny B had loved Olivia but she had clear boundaries that defined her personal time and space. Since Leah had moved in with them, he hadn’t noticed her creating any of those boundaries. She was available to Olivia 24/7. Even when she was supposed to take an evening off for herself, she’d taken Olivia to Chestnut Grove Community Church for a children’s fun night instead.

Over the years, Mrs. Baker had taken the opportunity over the holidays to visit her own family, and as close as she and Olivia were, Olivia hadn’t protested at all.

“Daddy?”

He’d hesitated too long. Leah looked uncomfortable, Jonah looked incredulous and Olivia looked crestfallen.

“Chestnut Community is hosting a community Thanksgiving dinner and service this year, Leah,” Jonah interrupted cautiously.

Ben shot him an impatient look. For some reason, the thought of Leah spending the day elbow-to-elbow with strangers and eating sliced turkey off plastic plates didn’t sit well with him.

“You’re more than welcome to join us at Eli’s,” he said. “I know Rachel won’t mind, and my parents will want to meet you.”

As far as invitations went, it was everything that was polite and cordial, but Leah still felt as if a fissure had formed in her heart. It was obvious that Ben still didn’t approve of her. But for Olivia…

She glanced down at the little girl. She’d missed seven years of holidays and now God was giving her a gift. The opportunity to spend one with her daughter. Even as she yearned to say yes to Ben’s reluctant invitation, a niggling doubt settled in her heart.

What if Ben’s family saw the resemblance between her and Olivia?

When she’d taken Olivia to children’s night at the church on Wednesday, one of the women had assumed they were mother and daughter. Olivia had grinned widely at the mistake but Leah had felt a ripple of fear. She didn’t want anyone to put the idea in Ben’s head that maybe she and Olivia were related.

People see what they want to see.

One of her mother’s favorite sayings came back to her. No one knew anything about her past. They didn’t know she’d given a baby up for adoption. She was simply the woman hired to take care of Olivia. That’s what Ben’s family would see when they looked at her. She took a deep breath.

“I’d love to spend Thanksgiving with you.”

Before the words were even out of her mouth, Olivia’s arms were around her waist.

Later that evening, Leah was doing a load of laundry when Ben was suddenly standing behind her.

“Are you finding your way around the house all right?” he asked.

Leah never failed to startle when Ben unexpectedly appeared. There was something about him that drained away her ability to think clearly. Or speak with any kind of intelligence whatsoever! At least it felt that way.

“You’re a jumpy little thing, aren’t you?” Ben frowned.

Only around you, Leah thought. The truth was, the sight of him did strange things to her heart rate. “If the floor creaked, you wouldn’t be able to sneak up on me like this. That’s what happens when you live with a carpenter, though. A squeak wouldn’t dare take up residence in this house.”

Ben leaned against the dryer and folded his arms across his chest, which stretched the fabric of his shirt taut across his torso. Leah felt like Alice in Wonderland—the laundry room was definitely getting smaller. She shifted her gaze to a point on the wall behind his shoulder, a safe focal point to dwell on instead of his lean, muscular frame and handsome face.

“I know Olivia put you in a tough spot today,” he said after a moment. “Don’t feel obligated to spend Thanksgiving with us if you have other plans.”

The plans she’d had involved renting a video and curling up to watch it while eating a turkey sandwich. “I don’t have other plans. If you’re sure your brother and his wife won’t mind me crashing their dinner party.”

“What’s that saying? The more the merrier? A Cavanaugh code, I’m afraid. My parents—especially my mother—live for family gatherings.”

Family gatherings. Those two simple words squeezed Leah’s heart. She knew some people took them for granted, but she knew she never would. If she were ever part of a family…

“Well,” she said brightly, closing the top of the washer, “this is done. I guess I’ll go upstairs now.”

“No saxophone?” Ben’s eyebrows shot up.

Leah’s face warmed. “Making all those pies wore me out.”

“Good night, Miss Paxson.” Ben watched her scoot out of the room. She always moved quickly, but with an unmistakable grace. Like a dancer. He shook the thought away. He was almost finished reading his novel, but now he found himself wondering if he’d be able to concentrate on it without the mellow music of the saxophone playing in the background.

“I’ll be right back.”

Leah took a moment to slip out of the kitchen, where she’d been helping Rachel Cavanaugh and Ben’s mother, Peggy, with Thanksgiving dinner. She retreated to Eli’s study to stabilize her racing thoughts.

Lord, Peggy keeps staring at me when she thinks I’m not watching. Maybe spending Thanksgiving with them wasn’t such a good idea.

Peggy and Tyrone Cavanaugh were openly friendly and welcoming, but from the moment Ben had introduced Leah to his parents, Peggy Cavanaugh had had a thoughtful look in her eyes. Especially when, in the process of telling Leah a secret, Olivia had pulled Leah’s head down so they were cheek-to-cheek.

After that, Leah had offered to help Rachel in the kitchen, leaving Tyrone Cavanaugh to entertain Olivia with a new book about seashells that he’d brought her. But she still felt Peggy’s gaze settle on her occasionally.

The chance to spend Thanksgiving with Olivia—and Ben—had been too tempting. Leah caught her lower lip in her teeth and wondered if she would make it through the rest of the day.

A chorus of groans suddenly erupted from the living room, where Ben and Eli were watching football. Leah couldn’t prevent a smile. There was an obvious affection between the two brothers. She’d seen that right away.

Drawn to a framed portrait on the wall, Leah stepped closer and studied the Cavanaugh family. The picture must have been taken when Ben and Eli were in high school. Her gaze lingering on the two boys, she wondered who in the Cavanaugh family tree Eli favored. Where Peggy and Tyrone had passed on their dark good looks to Ben, Eli was blond with light green eyes.

“They were quite a pair. I credit every gray hair I have on my head to those boys. And I’m still getting them, so what does that tell you?”

Leah heard Peggy Cavanaugh’s lilting voice behind her and her heart skipped a beat. Her plan to escape to a quiet place to think had backfired. Now she was alone with the woman who’d been responsible for her escape to begin with!

Peggy came to stand beside her. “Rachel and the turkey are in a standoff,” she murmured. “But my guess is that Rachel is going to win the battle.”

Leah would have to agree. With her chestnut hair and exotic hazel eyes, Rachel Cavanaugh could have easily been a contestant in a beauty pageant, but it was her easy confidence and warm friendliness that Leah had immediately been drawn to. That and the fact that the second the two women had met, Rachel had leaned over and whispered two words tersely in her ear. “Corn pudding?”

Leah could only assume she was being asked if she knew how to make it. She’d nodded. Rachel had discreetly looked at her watch and then flashed all five fingers at Leah. In that moment, any doubts Leah had had about her presence in Rachel’s home were firmly put to rest.

“We adopted Eli when he was six years old,” Peggy said softly. “His parents were killed in a car accident and Eli was with them but he only suffered minor injuries. Ben was seven at the time but we’d adopted him from Tiny Blessings as a baby. We were never told much about his birth parents. Back then, the records were sealed, you know. Not like nowadays, when there are open adoptions and contact clauses.”

Ben. Adopted. Leah felt her breath catch in her throat. She’d had no idea.

“It was good of you to give the boys a home.”

Peggy shrugged. “I don’t think goodness had a thing to do with it,” she said honestly. “From the time I was a little girl, all I dreamed about was having a family. After Ty and I were married, we found out that I couldn’t carry a baby to term. I had miscarriage after miscarriage. It was Ty who suggested we adopt. Funny how God’s plans shape our dreams, isn’t it? People tell me what a blessing Ty and I have been as adoptive parents, but the truth is, those two guys out there throwing pillows at the television screen are the blessings. All I know is somewhere out there, a young mother had a lot of love in her heart.”

Since Eli’s mother had died, Leah knew she was referring to Ben’s birth mother. Or was she? There was a thread of something in the older woman’s voice that made Leah uncomfortable.

Suddenly hungry to know more about Olivia, Leah dared to ask some of the questions she’d had since she’d moved in with Ben and Olivia. Questions she couldn’t ask Ben. “Were Ben and his wife unable to have children, too?”

Peggy shook her head. “As far as I know, they hadn’t been married long enough to start thinking about children. Julia was a nurse at the hospital and she was in the delivery room when Olivia was born. The couple who were supposed to adopt Olivia had just found out they were pregnant and didn’t know if they could handle two children so close in age. They decided not to, but in the meantime Julia and Ben had prayed about it and knew they wanted her.” Peggy’s smile was soft. “It worked out the way it was meant to.”

“You’re doing great,” the nurse told her. “It won’t be long now.”

“It hurts.” Leah panted the words and felt the young woman’s hand squeeze hers reassuringly, saw the compassion in her dark blue eyes.

“I’ll stay here with you.”

And she had stayed. Through the next two hours of labor and afterward. It was the blue-eyed nurse who had brought Leah’s baby girl to her, wrapped in a soft pink blanket. So Leah could say goodbye. Then, she’d wrapped her arms around Leah when she’d started to cry.

The nurse had been Julia Cavanaugh.

Tears burned Leah’s eyes. Tears she was unable to hide from Ben’s mother. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, my dear. You must be a sensitive soul! I know I am. Ty teases me because I even cry during TV commercials.”

Leah was rescued from a response by the pint-sized seven-year-old who suddenly careened around the corner.

“Aunt Rachel needs Leah,” she said. “And Grammy, Daddy said to tell you he’s got the chess board set up.”

“That’s my cue.” Peggy brushed a stray curl off Olivia’s cheek. “Every year your dad tries to beat me at chess.”

“He said this is going to be the day he wins,” Olivia whispered.

“He can try.” Peggy gave them both a mischievous wink.

Leah stepped into the hall but was still having a difficult time breathing normally again. She felt a soft touch on her arm and forced a smile, assuming it was Olivia. It wasn’t. It was Peggy.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Leah.”

Chapter Five

“You sit next to me and Leah, Daddy.” Olivia dragged Ben over to the table, where a perfectly roasted turkey had taken its place as the centerpiece. Across the room, Rachel lifted her chin and gave him a smug look.

“How did you sneak all this food in, Eli?” he asked innocently. “Is there a chef hiding in the kitchen?”

His brother laughed and drew Rachel against him, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. “Don’t worry, honey,” he said in a stage whisper. “Next time we play football, I’ll grind that attitude right out of him.”

Watching them, Ben felt a pang of regret. He and Julia had only been married three years when the doctors discovered she had ovarian cancer. Although they’d known each other in high school, they hadn’t started dating until she’d finished college and came back to Chestnut Grove. Everything in their relationship had been perfectly timed. He’d proposed after a year. They’d married eight months later. He thought he’d have a lifetime of memories with her, and now he found himself struggling to preserve the few but precious ones he had.

“Are you going to stare at that turkey all day or sit down and eat it, son?” Tyrone gave him an affectionate slap on the back as he headed toward the table.

Ben moved to take his place, which was between Leah and Olivia. Leah had a smudge of flour on her cheek and, without thinking he reached out and brushed his thumb against it.

She turned and their faces were inches apart. Once again he felt the fine jolt of electricity that had become annoyingly familiar whenever he was close enough to Leah to see the flecks of gold in her eyes.

“You had flour on your cheek.” He showed her his thumb as proof.

“Oh.” Leah’s face was as pink as Olivia’s bedspread. “Thank you.”

Eli tapped his spoon against the rim of his glass. “Before we eat, I’d like to resurrect an old Cavanaugh family Thanksgiving tradition. Rachel and I thought Olivia might enjoy it.”

Ben tensed. There was only one Cavanaugh Thanksgiving tradition that he remembered and both he and Eli had done away with it the minute they were out on their own….

“Under everyone’s plate are corn kernels. The number you have is the number of things you thank God for during the blessing,” Eli continued.

Olivia picked up her plate immediately and he could see the delighted expression on her face. Emotion shifted inside him. He recognized it for what it was—guilt. He hadn’t given his daughter any spiritual guidance over the past seven years. Hadn’t taken her to church. Hadn’t prayed with her the way his parents had prayed with him while he’d been growing up. Hadn’t taught her to praise God for the blessings in her life or to lean on Him when things went wrong.

“How many did you get?” Olivia asked, craning her neck to look at his plate. “Daddy, you haven’t even looked yet!”

He lifted his plate up and saw four kernels of corn. Four. If Eli had duplicated the tradition, the most a person got was four. Suspiciously, he wondered if some devious person had rigged his plate.

“I only got two,” Olivia said, then leaned across his lap. “How many did you get, Leah?”

“Two.”

Ben frowned. Leah’s hand was clenched so tightly around the kernels of corn that her knuckles were white.

“Everyone ready?” Eli asked cheerfully. “Dad, why don’t you start?”

Ben couldn’t see a way to back out of this, so dutifully he closed his eyes. Four things he was thankful for. That shouldn’t be so difficult. The hard part was who he was thanking. He liked to think that he’d worked hard to achieve the good things in his life.

Suddenly, he heard Leah’s low, musical voice.

“Lord, I am thankful for Your faithfulness. And I’m thankful to You for bringing me to this table today, to share Thanksgiving with my—with the Cavanaughs.”

“Lord,” Olivia solemnly copied Leah’s opening, “thank You for my dad. And for bringing Leah to our house.”

Ben drew a deep breath and wondered why his insides suddenly felt as if he’d swallowed a box of rusty nails. Maybe because he hadn’t talked to God since the day he’d shouted at Him…the day Julia had died.

“I’m thankful for my family and friends and my business. And especially for this seven-year-old stick of dynamite beside me.” He heard Olivia giggle and his fingers found the ticklish spot on her knee under the table.

When he opened his eyes, he saw his mother squeeze Eli’s hand and there were tears in her eyes. Ben knew why. At least one of her prodigals had returned home. But he wasn’t a prodigal, was he? He hadn’t gone out and squandered his life. Just the opposite. He’d done everything right. He’d done everything a Christian was supposed to do. He’d read his Bible and prayed. He’d been active in his church youth group as a teenager. He’d rarely missed a Sunday service. And Julia had still died. He’d realized seven years ago that he couldn’t have faith in a God Who didn’t fulfill His part of the bargain.

After the others had shared their thanks, and the dinner conversation turned to the upcoming Christmas holiday—another celebration that Ben had to grit his teeth and survive every year—Olivia suddenly bounced several times in her chair.

“I’m in a play at church,” she said loudly.

Everyone fell silent.

“That’s wonderful, sweetie,” Peggy said with a quick glance at Tyrone.

“It’s a musical. They picked parts last Wednesday when Leah took me to church. I’m an angel and I get to sing one song all by myself.”

“And how did all this come about?” Ben asked quietly.

He couldn’t believe Leah hadn’t bothered to mention this to him. She’d obviously sensed his hesitation about Olivia going to church with her and yet she’d let her sign up to take part in the Christmas program?

“Reverend Fraser’s wife, Naomi, heard Olivia singing with the group and she asked her if she wanted to be involved in the program this year,” Leah explained, meeting his gaze directly. In the depths of her eyes, he could see a plea for him to understand.

And knowing how much Olivia loved to sing, he was supposed to be the pin that burst her bubble?

“From what I remember, Naomi does a wonderful job with the children,” Peggy said. “Do you need a costume?”

“Leah is going to make me one,” Olivia said. “It’s going to have wings. And a halo. And glitter!”

Glitter. Of course it would have glitter. Ben struggled with his feelings. At his mother’s encouragement, there were times when he’d volunteered his carpentry skills at Chestnut Grove Community Church, but he’d always managed to brush aside Reverend Fraser’s gentle hints about attending services. Now, if Olivia was in the Christmas program, he’d be forced to spend Christmas Eve there.

There was an uncomfortable silence at the table and finally Tyrone’s booming voice overrode it.

“Don’t forget to give me and Grammy your Christmas wish list before we leave, peanut,” he said. “We want to have time to find everything.”

“There are only two things on my list this year, Papa,” Olivia said.

“Only two?” Tyrone pretended to be shocked. “Well, that should be easy for an old grandpa like me to remember. What are they?”

“I want boots like Leah’s.”

Ben felt the turkey he’d just swallowed lodge in his throat. Boots like Leah’s! But it was her next words that made him choke.

“And a mommy.”

“Do you think Daddy’s mad at me for singing in the Christmas program?” Olivia pulled the covers up to her chin so the only thing Leah could see was a pair of worried brown eyes. She sat down on the bed beside her. She knew that Ben was upset, but she wasn’t sure what had triggered it—Olivia’s announcement about the Christmas play or that a mommy was on her Christmas wish list. Maybe, Leah thought with a sigh, it was both.

“He’s not mad at you, peaches.” That much she was sure of. If anything, he was angry with her for not telling him about Olivia and the play sooner. Not that she could blame him. She’d been waiting for just the right moment, but the right moment hadn’t presented itself.

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened.

“Ready for bed?”

“If I say no, can I stay up later?” Olivia sat up, her expression hopeful.

“It’s already past your bedtime,” Ben said. “Technically, you have stayed up later.”

“I don’t like technically,” Olivia said with a deep sigh. She reached her arms up for a good-night hug.

Leah could smell Ben’s clean, woodsy scent as he leaned over and plucked Olivia right out of the bed, growling ferociously as he enveloped her in a bear hug. She shrieked with delight.

When the hug was over and Ben dropped Olivia back into bed, both of them were breathless and slightly rumpled. A swatch of Ben’s sable hair had fallen over his eyes and his shirt had come untucked. Leah, who had watched their antics with fascination, was about to stand up when Olivia attacked. The weight of the little girl’s impulsive ambush sent Leah tumbling off the side of the bed.

And right into Ben’s arms.

She could feel the corded muscles in his arms as they automatically closed around her and they both landed in a heap on the floor. Olivia peered down at them, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

She picked up a pillow.

“Don’t you…” Ben gasped.

Leah picked up the end of the sentence. “Dare!”

“Incoming!” Olivia sang out.

The pillow landed with a thump next to Leah.

“Thank goodness her aim is off,” Ben murmured. His breath stirred her hair and Leah was suddenly aware of his steady heartbeat through the thin fabric of his shirt. Embarrassed, she rolled off him and jumped to her feet, not quite sure how she had ended up smack-dab in the middle of this unusual bedtime ritual.

“Good night, Livy.” Now she was rumpled! Leah had braided her hair that morning and now she could feel loose strands escaping from all directions.

“Aren’t you going to pray with me tonight, Leah?” Olivia asked.

It was something they’d been doing together for the past few nights. Shortly after Leah had moved in, Olivia had crept into her room and found her sitting on the bed, reading her Bible and praying. Olivia was so curious about praying that the next night, Leah had tucked her in and prayed out loud. A simple bedtime prayer, but Olivia had amazed her by joining in after she’d finished.

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