Table of Contents

Cover Page

Excerpt

About the Author

Title Page

Epigraph

Dedication

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Dear Reader

Copyright

“You’re giving your son away?”

“It’s the best for him,” Bryan said, ignoring Jacob’s happy squeals.

Laura looked through the photo album. “I realize that your family was broken up just when it was starting, but you and Jacob need each other more than ever.”

Laura felt her words of comfort were hollow. How could she possibly help someone else deal with his grief when she had such difficulty herself?

“The three of us were never a family.” Bryan grabbed the album and snapped it shut. Jacob wailed, frantically reaching for Laura. She swept him into her arms and bounced him until he’d calmed down.

“I’m just not cut out for fatherhood. You make parenting look so easy.”

“Abandoned. Confused. Angry. Afraid.” Laura’s tone hardened. “Easy? I know what you’re feeling because I was there.”

Why was it that this man could infuriate her at the same time her heart swelled with feelings she couldn’t understand?

CAROL STEWARD

lives-with her hero/husband of twenty years and three teenage children in Greeley, Colorado. When she isn’t busy caring for preschoolers in her home, she keeps busy with the activities of her daughter and two sons, and with volunteer work for various organizations. A retired cake decorator, Carol enjoys camping, restoring antiques, tole-painting, needlework, gardening, traveling, sewing and collecting Noah’s Ark items.

She loves to hear from her readers. You may write to her at Carol Steward P.O. Box 5021 Greeley, CO 80631-0021.

There Comes a Season
Carol Steward

www.millsandboon.co.uk

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:…A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

—Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

To Dave, who’s always my hero; to Sarah, Matthew and Scott for your encouragement and understanding; to my mom and dad for a strong base to believe in myself; to my family and special friends, for inspiring me; to my critique group, for your patience and perseverance; to all of you, thanks for believing in me!

In loving memory of my brother-in-law, Dan.

Prologue

“He’s coming back! I know he is. He promised me, Mommy. Daddy said he’d take me fishing today.”

“No honey, he’s not.” The tears fell from Laura Bates’s eyes as she held her six-year-old son. Chad had seen the paramedics work on his father in the middle of the night and screamed when they took him away. “Chad, Daddy died. He can’t ever come home.”

“Why didn’t you stop him! You should have stopped him!”

She couldn’t control his anger, or the sting as his words pierced her heart. Though Laura understood that Chad didn’t know what he was saying and how badly it hurt her, it didn’t stop the guilt from digging deeper into her soul. “I tried. Believe me, I tried.”

“I want Daddy!”

“I know. I do, too.” She gave Chad a kiss and looked at her older son, T.J., who stood silently looking out the window toward the tree house he and his father had built the previous month. “Come here T.J.,” Laura said gently. T.J. obeyed, dragging his feet. There were no tears in her son’s eyes, just a stoic expression on his face.

T.J. took a jagged breath, and finally a terrified grimace appeared. Laura gently drew his stocky body into her embrace. “It’s okay to cry, T.J., don’t stop the tears.”

“Uncle Ian said boys shouldn’t cry.”

“Uncle Ian is wrong. It’s going to hurt for a long time, and if you want to cry, it’s okay.” Laura touched her forehead to his and they rubbed noses. T.J. grinned.

Her daughter, Carrie began crying as she joined her mom and younger brothers. She had always been her daddy’s girl. Laura brushed the tears from Carrie’s face. “I love you, Carrie, and so did your dad. He loved you kids very much.”

“Oh, Mom.” She sobbed. “I’m going to miss him so much.”

“I know, punkin. It’s not going to be easy.” They sat in Todd’s stuffed chair comforting each other for a long while before the beams of sunlight came through the maple trees and lit the breakfast nook.

Laura rubbed the back of her neck and shoulders and moved her fingers up to her temples and pushed hard, trying to force away the recurring memory of waking with a chill in her spine.

Her best friend touched her shoulder. “Laura, why don’t you go lie down for a while. You need some rest Family will be here soon.”

“Thanks for coming, Barb. Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s okay. Go to bed, honey.”

As Laura walked into her bedroom, she realized she was exhausted. She stared at the walls of the room she and Todd had shared, looked out the window, tossed and turned, but rest eluded her. How could you do this to us, Todd? You said you’d see us in the morning, you held me last night. How can I ever go on without you? Laura cried, and yelled, and pounded her fists into the pillow, as if she were still trying to save Todd.

Weary, she lay down, listening to the silence. Hers was not a quiet house. Her children were never quiet, Todd wasn’t quiet and the toddlers and preschoolers she watched certainly weren’t quiet. The silence surrounding her now was proof that nothing would ever be the same. She wanted to hear the laughter again, to see Todd chasing the kids through the house. She wanted to yell at all of them to settle down. “Oh, God,” she silently prayed, “please let me yell at Todd to grow up again. The big kid never got the chance,” she whispered.

Laura heard the faint drumming of raindrops on the roof, fast, then slow, then the splash of water as cars drove by. “How appropriate that you should make this a dreary, wet, good for nothing but curling up in bed day, God. At least you didn’t make it a beautiful, sunny, perfect fishing day. You explain to the kids why their father won’t be here to take them fishing anymore! You tell them who will answer their tough questions! You tell them who is going help them grow up, because I have no idea how to do all of this without him!” She pounded the tearstained pillow and shoved it under her head.

A few days later, Chad asked his mother, “Who will my new daddy be?”

Laura froze. “What makes you ask that?”

She could see Chad was surprised by her response and possibly a little embarrassed at his own question. “We talked about it in Sunday school.”

“They talked to you about finding a new daddy?” She felt a sudden chill.

“No, but ‘Lizabeth’s daddy is getting married, and I was just wondering if you would.”

“Sometimes parents do meet another person, fall in love and get married.”

“If you get married, will you still love us?”

“I won’t ever stop loving you. Getting married doesn’t mean parents will love their children less. God helps us make more love.”

Once they were home, Laura took Chad into her arms. “Chad, right now, I’m not ready to find you a new daddy. I have you three, and that’s all I need. I loved your dad a lot, and I’m not sure I can ever love anyone that much again.”

“If we ask God to help you, you can. I’ll help.”

How in the world could she deny a little boy’s prayers? God’s words of reassurance came to mind, “I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.” She sighed. “Thank you, love. I know that God could help, but give us some time, okay?” Laura hugged him gently—for his innocence, his honesty and his naive faith. Time would only prove Chad wrong. She loved her son dearly, and wished this was one lesson she didn’t have to let him learn on his own.

Later that night, she couldn’t help but wonder if there would ever be a man brave enough to accept her and her three children? Someone man enough to dim these memories of her past? A man strong enough to dare her to love again?

Chapter One

Laura Bates opened her front door. A tall man holding an adorable baby stood on her doorstep.

“Mrs. Bates? As in the child care provider, Mrs. Bates?”

She extended her hand to shake his, admiring the darkest brown eyes she’d ever seen. “Yes,” she said, uncomfortable being introduced as a married woman, but uneasy sharing her circumstances with strangers. “All the parents call me Laura. This must be Jacob.” She smiled, hoping to set the father at ease over his obvious surprise at her age. “Come in.”

Laura realized she was staring at him, and that their hands were still clenched. Todd’s only been dead four months. What am I doing admiring this stranger? She loosened her grip, shoving her hand into her pocket as she moved out of the doorway.

Bryan stepped into the living room. “I must admit, I didn’t expect someone so…young, Laura. My secretary led me to believe…” Bryan’s deep voice, which was shadowed with a Southern accent, trailed off.

“Vicky didn’t inform either of us very well,” Laura quipped. “I thought both you and your wife would be coming.”

Jacob squirmed in his father’s arms. Laura watched Bryan handle his son, his large hands seeming incredibly uncomfortable with this minute task. She noted a tan line on his left hand where a ring had recently been removed. Her gaze roamed up his arm to his broad shoulders and then to his face. She could see Bryan was tense. No wonder the baby’s cranky. Relax. She wasn’t sure if he’d heard her or was ignoring her comment. She let it go unanswered.

Two heads peeked around the corner and caught Bryan’s attention. “Are these your children?”

Laura pushed her curiosity aside and focused on the question. “Yes. Carrie is ten, and Chad is six. My eight-year-old son is playing with friends this evening. Please have a seat” Laura motioned toward an overstuffed chair.

Noticing his double-breasted suit, she wished that she had worn something nicer than blue jeans and a sweater. What should you have worn? A dress and heels? Get real Laura, this is how you always dress.

She watched Bryan scrutinize the room. He surely noticed the well-worn antiques, piles of children’s art overflowing from the rolltop desk, and jackets tossed beneath the coatrack by hurried children. He studied the family portrait hanging on the wall. It was a recent enough picture that one would assume just by looking at it that the same contentment existed in their lives today.

Before Bryan asked about her husband, Laura proceeded. She didn’t want to talk about that tonight. “We covered the basics over the phone, but I hope you’ve thought of more questions.”

Laura set a manila envelope on the table next to her as she tried to take her eyes off this surprisingly handsome man with a stern look on his face. Business, Laura. He’s here on business. And even if he wasn’t, Bryan is obviously nothing like Todd.

“Right.” Bryan shifted uncomfortably in the chair, switching the fussy two-month-old to the other leg. “How long have you been baby-sitting?”

“Mom doesn’t baby-sit. She’s a child care provider,” Chad exclaimed as he entered the room. He walked over and sat with his mother while Carrie stayed inconspicuously around the corner.

“Chad, I’ll be glad to answer Mr. Beaumont’s questions myself.” She wrapped her arm around her son and kissed his forehead. “I’ve been a licensed child care provider for six years. And as you can see, I’ve had over ten years of mothering experience. I’ll be glad to give you references, Mr. Beaumont.”

“Please, call me Bryan.” He lifted Jacob to his shoulder and thumped the baby’s back. “Vicky’s recommendation is enough.” After Bryan tried unsuccessfully to quiet his son, Chad crawled over and made funny faces at the baby.

Bryan’s dark brown hair was cut conservatively, short in the back and stylishly long on top. Guessing by his appearance, his career came first. It wasn’t just the suit. The crisp white shirt, silk tie and fine leather loafers gave him a sophisticated appeal. Laura admired the shadow of his beard, and found herself wondering if he’d had a long day, or if he left it, enjoying the affect it had on women. Whichever the case, it worked.

“Maybe he has gas. How long ago did you feed him?” Chad said, offering his youthful expertise.

Bryan chuckled, and again, Laura found herself distracted by Jacob’s father. Her son’s forwardness was bound to get her into a fix if she didn’t do something to intervene.

“Chad, I’m sure Mr., um, Bryan can handle it. Why don’t you and Carrie go downstairs to play. We’ll be down in a few minutes to show him the playroom.”

One corner of Bryan’s mouth turned up. He reached out a hand to the youth and grasped his hand in a respectful handshake. “Thanks for the suggestions, Chad. Looks like my son would be in good hands here.” Laura watched her son beam with pride at Bryan’s attention. Chad and his sister raced for the stairs. “What kind of schedule will you put a baby on?”

“What? Oh, schedule. I believe in letting babies set their own, within reason.”

“No schedule? At all?”

Relieved to be discussing children again, Laura relaxed. “Babies normally settle into their own routine within a few weeks. Then again, just as they do, they hit a growing spurt or teething, and it changes. Flexibility helps.”

“I guess I didn’t do so bad this week after all, then. How many children do you watch?” Bryan’s tension escalated as Jacob grew more fussy.

“Six preschoolers and my own three-when they aren’t in school. It sounds like a lot, but the limits really are reasonable.” The baby wailed, and Laura put her hands in front of her. “Could I hold Jacob for you?”

“My pleasure. Since his mother died, I’ve had a lot to learn about babies. Talk about a cram course on parenting.”

She felt as if someone had just punched her in the stomach. That would explain why Vicky didn’t say anything. She wanted them to find that common ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” she managed to reply.

His jaw worked back and forth. “I thought Vicky would have explained that when she called. Work’s piling up at the office, and Mr. Mom I’m not. The nanny and I didn’t get along, so I let her go. I’ve gotten myself in quite a mess.”

“Excuse me, Bryan…”

“Jacob’s constant screaming convinced me that I needed to make some changes. Even as inexperienced as I am, I know when a baby needs something. Problem is, at the rate I’m going, I’ll figure out what it is by the time the kid can talk.”

Bryan regarded the gentle way she held Jacob. In a matter of minutes, she’d calmed him down. She rubbed the baby’s back as Jacob’s big brown eyes searched her face. Bryan looked to Laura’s left hand for a wedding ring, chastising himself for his interest, and surprised by his disappointment when he saw one.

He could almost feel Jacob’s small body go limp in her embrace, and wondered if the baby had ever been held with such tenderness by his own mother. He doubted it. Bryan couldn’t believe how wonderful it felt watching this woman cuddle his son.

The son Andrea had kept from him.

“Bryan, I know what you’re going through…” Laura said.

Startling Bryan out of a bitter recollection of his wife, Bryan felt the muscles in his entire body tense. “You couldn’t begin to imagine…” He stopped, realizing he almost dumped his resentment on this woman who seemed nothing like a stranger.

He looked up at her, feeling an unexplainable peace for the first time in days.

There was no doubt that he liked her. But was it the confident way she presented herself, her gentleness or the crystal blue eyes that invited him to open his heart? He gazed at her wavy hair, wondering if it was as touchable as it appeared.

What am I thinking? She’s happily married. Get your mind back on business, Beaumont! What’s wrong with you? Reprimanding himself, Bryan blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Can he start right away?”

Laura seemed startled, hesitating before she answered. “The opening is available as of Monday, however…”

“Have you interviewed a lot of families for this position? It seems infant openings are in great demand.”

Laura lifted her gaze to his, irritated at this man’s presumptuousness. “I haven’t advertised the opening yet.” Truth be known, she’d been picking up the phone to do so when he’d called.

She looked back at the baby in her arms. As much as her heart ached for these two and the pain they were feeling, she couldn’t do it.

Laura considered how to tell Bryan that she wasn’t up to taking on a child who would need an extra dose of mothering.

“Mr. Beaumont, I think you’d be better off looking for another live-in nanny under the circumstances.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I didn’t realize the situation. I think a nanny might fit your needs better. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”

“Just a minute, Mrs. Bates. I’m staying with a friend—until my house sells. The last thing we need is some woman…I mean, a nanny’s not a possibility. You came very highly recommended, and I need someone to care for Jacob.”

Laura looked into Bryan’s eyes, then at his son. Questions raced through her mind. She heard a little voice reminding her of the pastor’s sermon the previous week: “Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” But God, I have my own pain to deal with. I haven’t the strength to help a single father who obviously has no idea what to do with his baby.

Her personal struggle with this was far from over. She couldn’t say yes to Bryan Beaumont. This time, God was expecting too much. Meeting her own family’s needs was more than enough to handle.

Running her child care business, baking cakes, shuffling children between school and extracurricular activities would have been enough. But now Laura was responsible for her own duties in addition to those Todd had handled prior to his death. There simply was no extra time or energy for counseling anyone, let alone a chauvinistic executive who was willing to exchange his paternal duties for his own career.

Before her emotions took over, she backed away, using her firmest business voice. “Before either of us make any decision, I recommend you review this packet. I also require that one parent visit during business hours before enrolling your child so you can see firsthand how I run my business. This also allows you to meet the other children that I care for. Enclosed in the packet is a copy of my policies, a letter outlining my child care philosophy, as well as a sample contract. Please read everything thoroughly.” Laura motioned to the manila envelope on the table next to him.

The very way he handled himself told her that he was a man accustomed to success. If she was right, once the virile Bryan Beaumont experienced six preschoolers in action, he’d be out of her house quicker than a firecracker on the Fourth of July.

Bryan picked up the envelope, stood and walked over to her. “Thanks for reconsidering, Laura. I’ll see you in the morning.” He took the baby, and walked to an expensive foreign-made car.

“I have not reconsidered,” she muttered as the door closed behind him.

Chapter Two

Bryan pulled to a stop at the red light, then brushed Jacob’s dark fuzzy hair to one side with his hand. “How can one baby turn a man’s life upside down?”

Jacob pursed his lips and grasped the finger Bryan offered, holding it tight until Bryan pulled to a stop in front of Kevin’s house. Bryan took Jacob from the car seat, then shouldered the strap of the diaper bag and grabbed his briefcase.

After changing clothes and feeding Jacob his bottle, Bryan turned to Kevin. “I could use a run. You mind watching Jacob for an hour?”

“Mind? The kid and I have some football plays to discuss.”

“I have my pager, if you need anything.”

“Get out of here. We’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about. Take it easy today, you’re not as young as you used to be.” Kevin picked up the baby, then tucked the diaper bag under his arm and pretended to be charging through the offensive line on his way out the door.

Not for the first time in the last week, Bryan watched Kevin with envy, wondering how a dedicated bachelor had developed such a way with babies. Kids had always intrigued Bryan, but when his bride had announced that a baby would ruin her petite figure and her career, he’d eventually given up trying to change her mind. He’d directed his energy into his career, setting aside all hopes of a family. It was evident now that he wasn’t father material.

Torturing himself more, Bryan remembered how tenderly Laura had held Jacob. How could a woman who didn’t even know the child have such an effect on him? It seems like the first time Jacob has relaxed in a week. I’ve got to convince Laura to take care of him.

Bryan ran down the stairs and out the door. He cleared the last steps in one leap, starting his run at a rapid pace. Despite Kevin’s warning, today was a day to push himself…again.

As he ran, his lawyer’s haunting voice returned…“Bryan, Andrea’s lawyer called this morning…She died in an automobile accident yesterday. That’s not all. You’d better sit down…You have a son.”

A son.

His son.

Two days later, Jacob had arrived in the arms of a nanny. Three days later, they were on their own…

Bryan pushed harder.

Faster.

After extending his regime of rigorous sprints up and down the hill, he walked to stretch his aching muscles, grateful for anything that would take his mind off the ache in his heart.

Distracted by a group of boys playing football on the practice field ahead of him, Bryan ignored everything except the one boy who’d captured his attention.

“What a throw.”

An intense pain suddenly gripped the back of Bryan’s leg. He grabbed his calf muscle as his body hit the hard ground. Bryan groaned aloud, struggling to stretch his leg.

From across the field, he heard yelling. “Help! Call 911! Call 911!”

“What?” Bryan turned to see what the boys were screaming about, when the kid he’d been watching suddenly dropped beside him, a look of terror in his huge eyes.

“Mister! Are you alive!”

Bryan saw another boy running off as if his life depended on it, and realized that they were talking to him. “Me?”

Relief spread like melted honey across the freckled face as the boy watched Bryan’s every move.

“I’ll be fine. My leg cramped.”

“I thought you were dying or something.” The fear disappeared from the young boy’s face.

“I’m okay.”

“Joey, come back! He’s not dying!”

Bryan gritted his teeth and straightened his leg, then sat upright. “You have quite a team here. I’m Bryan Beaumont,” he extended one hand while the other held a tight grip on his leg. “Coach of the McKinley Mustangs.” He’d looked forward to coaching the eight and nine-year-old boys’ football team for months. Ever since his wife had left him, to be exact. “Any of you signed up?”

A few of them nodded, but not the one with real potential.

Beads of sweat dripped down Bryan’s face. He swiped the perspiration with the back of his hand, then rested it on his knee. He looked at the freckle-faced boy.

“Aren’t you going to play?”

“I dunno.” The kid shrugged.

“Do you like the game?”

“Sure,” he said, as if it were the stupidest question he’d ever heard.

“Would you like me to talk to your parents?”

“I only have a mom. My dad died of a heart attack.”

Bryan froze. So that what why the kid had overreacted to his collapse. “I’m sorry about that. How old are you?”

“Eight.”

“You live near here?”

“I won’t take you there.” The kid backed away.

“That’s good. It’s okay. I don’t mean to frighten you. I was wondering if your mom might be able to come over to talk to me.”

“She’s real busy.”

“No problem. You ask her about playing.” He turned to all the boys and added, “I’d like to have all of you on the team. We practice at McKinley Elementary.”

“That’s the school just around the corner,” another kid exclaimed.

“Sure is. Anyone have a pen? I want to give you my phone number in case your mom has any questions.”

One of the boys ran to his backpack and pulled out a stubby pencil and a scrap of paper. Bryan scribbled his first name and phone number for the youngster, then struggled to his feet after the boys were gone.

Upon returning to Kevin’s, he found Jacob settled in his new crib, sound asleep.

Bryan filled the ice bag, grabbed a bottle of spring water, and hobbled into the den, hoping to forget his troubles.

“You cramped up again, huh? When are you going to realize Andrea isn’t worth this torture?”

“Even dead, she’s still a pain in the…Never mind. One of these days…years…I’m going to forget.”

“One day you’re going to realize she did you a favor.”

“Real favor. Poor kid. I don’t know anything about being a father. It’s not like Andrea gave me any clue she’d changed her mind about kids.”

Kevin looked at him, then back to the blueprints on the drafting table in front of him. “Other than grueling, how was your run?”

Bryan forgot the injury as the anticipation of coaching returned. Before he realized what he was doing, he was reenacting the play he’d seen just before collapsing.

“The kid is a natural athlete, Kev. I wish I’d found out his name, but I didn’t want to scare him any more than I already had.”

“You don’t actually think his mom will call, do you? You know what women think of football.”

Again, the simple reminder of his wife was enough to set Bryan’s enthusiasm back ten yards. “You’re right, she probably doesn’t even realize the talent the boy has.”

“That’s a safe bet.”

Bryan leaned his head back on the chair, resting his bottled water on one knee. He recalled his own mother’s hesitation to let him play, and his dad’s convincing argument. Remembering his father’s death, Bryan realized for the first time that his own son was destined to an equal if not worse fate. He’d never even know the rare beauty of a mother’s protective love. It was obvious that Andrea didn’t care enough to think of anyone but herself.

Interrupting his thoughts, Kevin grumbled. “Don’t even think it, Bryan. There are too many kids with problems for you to solve.”

“The boy needs a little encouragement, a big brother, so to speak. He’s eight years old!”

“Okay, so he needs someone. If I remember correctly…”

“You’re the one who got me into coaching at all. It wasn’t my idea.” Bryan pointed to his friend, knowing by heart the lecture that was coming.

Before Kevin had a chance to speak, he added, “Besides, this isn’t at all the same as with Andrea.”

“You’ll never change.”

Bryan walked to the window, setting his glass on the sill. “I thought I could make it work. She needed someone to love her. It was good for a while.”

“What wasn’t good then? You were the new executive at Computex, women at your door all hours of the day and night.”

Bryan interrupted. “Those women were on your doorstep, not mine, Buddy.”

“Like I said, they were good times.” Kevin laughed, but Bryan continued to stare out the window. “Andrea had you under her spell. She knew what she wanted, and you were her ticket.”

“How can I go on without her?”

“She left you almost a year ago, Bryan! Forget her.” Kevin took a long drink, finishing his tea in one swallow.

“If she would have seen the counselor with me, we could have worked everything out…And a baby!” Bryan mumbled an expletive. “She didn’t even tell me about my own son.”

“You’re a saint, man. She leaves you without so much as a word, doesn’t tell you or her lawyer she’s carrying your kid, and you think you could have saved a marriage she never cared about.”

Bryan closed his eyes and shook his head. “You don’t understand, Kev. There has to be more to it…”

“What I understand is, you’re better off without her. Snap out of it! Andrea didn’t deserve you. What you need is a…”

“The last thing I need is a woman complicating my life.”

Hamburger sizzled in the cast-iron skillet. Laura massaged her temple, trying to ward off the tension headache looming beneath the surface.

The front door slammed just before T.J. ran into the kitchen. “Mom. Can I play football this year? The McKinley coach came by the park and he wants me to play.”

Before the words were out of her mouth, her son rushed through an explanation of how he’d come to talk to the stranger. After having seen his own father at the hands of the paramedics, she didn’t have the heart to lecture her son about trying to help a stranger who’d appeared to need medical help.

“I don’t know how we could fit that in this year, honey.”

“But Dad said when I turned eight I could play.”

“T.J.” Her mouth went dry. How could she explain?

“Please, Mom.”

“Wasn’t the sign-up last week?”

The smile disappeared. It didn’t take a psychologist to see that she’d just broken her son’s heart. Didn’t every boy dream of being an all-star quarterback at one time?

“Here’s the coach’s phone number. Can’t you at least call him?” Then as if he knew exactly how to turn the knife, he added, “Dad wouldn’t have forgotten to sign me up.”

She took the tattered paper and stuffed it into her pocket. That was when Todd was going to be the coach. Things changed. “Go wash up. Supper’s ready.”

If you’d take this baby, you wouldn’t have to worry about the money. The fact remained, though, that Bryan Beaumont knew nothing about raising a child, which meant she’d not only be caring for his son, but also trying to teach another workaholic father how to be a dad. To make matters worse, this father wasn’t her husband. This one was single, incredibly handsome and obviously had the means to substitute his love and attention with any number of material toys.

Both hands full, Laura kicked the refrigerator door closed. She set the gallon of milk and the skillet of hamburger gravy on the table, then sat down and waited for the children to settle before offering thanks. Their routine had. changed so little, it was as if her husband were at a board meeting and would return before the evening was over.

After supper, she finished the dishes and helped the kids get ready for bed, still agonizing over both problems. She thought of calling Bryan’s secretary for more information, as Vicky had been a client once, but realized how unprofessional that would appear.

Then she wondered if she should call the football coach.

Out of the question.

What could she say? Thanks for your encouragement, but I just can’t afford it? Not a chance. The last thing she wanted was some do-gooder giving them charity. It wasn’t that there really was no money to spare, but she was trying to keep within a budget, and after buying new tires and paying the plumbing bill, it would cut into the emergency fund. Not a good way to start the month.

She could always go into detail about how challenging it was to transport nine kids to practices. Or spew out her personal sob story and sound like a whiny, helpless woman. Forget it. They’d manage. There would always be next year, after life had settled into a dull and boring routine again.

Football taken care of, she set her mind to the problem of filling her opening, or more to the point, how to not fill the opening. At least, not with the adorable son of a potently handsome widower who twisted her words to suit his needs.

Sleep. That would clear her mind.

Wrong.

The quiet only filled her mind with more guilt. The furnace kicked on, squealing at first, then dissipating to a rhythmic drone. Oh, the joys of a fixer-upper. Before winter’s over, the furnace too, will most likely need to be replaced.

She rolled onto her stomach and covered her head with a pillow as overgrown branches of the giant maple rubbed against the side of the house. Another chore Todd had meant to do this summer.

Before long, the mental list of possible repairs had tripled, and her headache was pounding. “Okay, I get the message, God. You’ve always provided for our needs, and now is no exception. But why through a single father with an attitude?”

Chapter Three

The next morning, Bryan parked his white sports car in front of Laura’s house. He saw the freckle-faced kid deposit a sack of trash in a barrel, then grab a basketball and shoot three baskets—all net.

Tucking Jacob into the crook of his arm, Bryan hustled up the driveway. “Hi. I’m Bryan. We met yesterday.”

The boy looked puzzled.

“You were playing football. I’m the coach.”

“That was you?” The boy’s sparkling eyes grew bigger.

Bryan nodded. His smile couldn’t begin to express his joy at finding this kid again. “Are you Laura Bates’s son?”

“Uh-huh. You know my mom?”

She’s a widow, and never said a thing. And I told her she couldn’t begin to imagine what it was like to lose a loved one. Great one, Beaumont. Open mouth, insert foot. “I talked with her last night about watching my son. What did she say about football?”

“She said it’s too late to sign up,” he complained.

“Oh yeah? Let’s go talk to her. We’ll see what we can do.”

Bryan followed T.J. into the kitchen and watched silently as Laura flipped pancakes.

“Chad, you’re going to be late for school. Will you please hurry?” She pivoted, jumping when she saw Bryan standing in the doorway.

“Your son and I met outside. He invited me in. Sorry I startled you.”

T.J., obviously forgetting football at the sight of warm pancakes, walked between Bryan and Laura with a plate piled high. Not that he blamed the kid. They looked delicious.

“Good grief T.J., you’d think I never feed you.” She took several pancakes off his plate and returned them to the platter. “You may have seconds after you’ve eaten those.”

Laura glanced back at Bryan, her face full of strength, shining with a steadfast and serene peace. “I didn’t expect you quite so early, but that’s okay. Help yourself to breakfast if you’d like.”

Her other son sauntered into the spacious kitchen.

“Chad! You’ve been up for an hour, why aren’t you dressed?” She excused herself, then disappeared with her youngest son in tow. A few minutes later, both returned, and the doorbell rang. Laura’s workday was beginning. Preschoolers and toddlers arrived every few minutes and she introduced Bryan to each of the parents.

“How do you stay so calm with this chaos?”

She laughed, seeming very pleased with something. “It grows on you.”

While she was busy feeding the toddlers and helping her children prepare for school, he mentioned registering T.J. in football.

She stole a guilt-ridden glance at her son.

T.J. looked at Laura hopefully. “Can I, Mom? Please.”

“I’ll discuss that with Jacob’s dad. You and I will talk tonight. Right now, it’s time for you kids to walk to school. Have a good day. Remember, I love you.” She kissed each child’s cheek as they left. “And no talking to strangers.”

After her children were out the door, she faced Bryan, arms across her chest. “So you’re the coach he met last night, huh? How’s the leg?”

“Fine. I’m sorry about the stranger thing. He was hesitant, if that matters.” By the look on her face, it didn’t. “He’s got talent.”

“Oh, he’s a natural all right. Just like his dad.” She smiled, but her eyes were looking far beyond anything visible. She shook her head, then looked back at him. It was as if he could look right into the raw sores of her aching heart. “I’m not sure I’m ready for him to play full-contact sports.”

“Has he played soccer?”

Laura nodded.

“There’s more protection playing football than soccer. I’m helping coach the team at McKinley. I’d love to have him play.”

She proceeded to cut another pancake for a towheaded boy without any indication she’d heard Bryan.

“It’s not too late to register,” he told her.

“I know. That’s not it.” Laura washed another toddler’s fingers before getting him out of the high chair, then cleared the dishes from the table while children dug through the toy box.

“Did your husband play?” Bryan persisted.

“Todd was an athlete. Anything with ‘ball’ attached, consumed him. If he wasn’t playing, we watched on T.V.” She looked as if she actually missed that. “T.J.’s so young. There’s plenty of time for sports later.”

“Sometimes kids need an outlet to deal with losing a dad. Especially an oldest son who feels an obligation to take care of his mother. That’s a heavy load for a boy his age.” Bryan tried to block out memories of his father’s death, memories that were especially strong during football season. “You didn’t tell me you were a widow,” he said accusingly.

She replied right away, “You didn’t give me a chance.” Her cool blue eyes eluded his and she sidestepped the subject. “Did you play football?”

Bryan smiled, recalling his own experience with the sport. “Wide receiver for Colorado University.”

“Ah. Serious obsession.”

Even though her smile was genuine, Bryan sensed a turn in their conversation.

“Very.”

“What about coaching? You obsessed there, too?”

He realized Laura was now a mother interviewing the coach. “At this age, teaching the boys the basics and to enjoy the game is more important than winning. Obsession comes on down the road. High school, junior year at the latest.”

Laura chuckled and bit her lower lip almost nervously. “I’ll think about it.”

“I hope you will.”

During his visit that morning, Laura briefly told him that her husband had died of a heart attack, and shared that it was a continuous challenge to raise children alone. Her courage and determination was like a cold deep river flowing through her.

In turn, he told her that Jacob’s mother had died in an automobile accident. That was all she needed to know.

“Why do you coach?” Laura asked over a glass of juice as the kids watched their favorite preschool program.

“What kind of question is that?”

“Forgive me. That didn’t come out right. You obviously enjoy football, but it sounds like you already keep long hours at work, and with expecting a new baby in your house, I can’t help but wonder why you chose now to volunteer your time. Most men have difficulty making time to coach even their own son’s team. This doesn’t fit the image you portrayed yesterday.”

He remained quiet, assessing the fact that she’d examined his image. It pleased him, and it bothered him. He couldn’t afford to be distracted by some woman’s romantic notions.

“Being a weekend quarterback isn’t enough. I miss playing. And I’d made the commitment before I found out about Jacob.”

Bryan consoled himself that it wasn’t a lie, exactly. When he’d agreed to help coach the junior league team, he had no idea he was going to be a father. No one need know that at that time he’d desperately needed something to take his mind off his wife’s walking away from their marriage.

“What’s the most important aspect of football?”

“At this age, or professional?” He grinned, attempting to lighten her shrewd onslaught of questions into his character.

She stared back, obviously unimpressed with his humor.

“Okay, okay. Teamwork. No one is an entity unto himself out on the football field.”

“Are they anywhere?”

He looked again into her undaunted blue eyes, realizing her wisdom. “Touché. So how about if we try this out, Mrs. Bates. You raise my son, and I’ll coach yours. It’s as easy and uncomplicated as that.”

Three weeks later, the football season had started. During that time, Laura had cleared up the majority of Bryan’s questions about his new son. While he admitted feeling he’d never get the knack of caring for a baby, he was comforted by the knowledge that Jacob at least had Laura to meet the majority of his needs.

Bryan was a bit surprised when she accepted his offer to transport T.J. to and from practices in return for watching Jacob after her usual business hours during practice. It had been the first glimmer of her relinquishing any sort of personal responsibility. The death of her husband had obviously been a devastating blow, and she seemed determined to handle life’s punches alone.

In the three weeks that he’d known the family, he’d come to understand what had drawn him to Laura Bates. She showed no signs of weakness. There was a part of him that worried about her. Would she give and give until there was nothing left of her? Or would she someday allow herself to grow whole again?

He admired her. Almost too much. And at the same time, he longed for proof that she was human; that she, like he, had her inadequacies as well. This selfishness was a quick, disturbing thought as he struggled to put the woman out of his mind.

After the second football practice, Bryan walked into the living room and handed the game schedule to Laura. “I hope T.J. remembered to tell you he needs to get a cup.”

“No, he didn’t mention it, but it’ll be no problem. I’ll send him with one tomorrow. He has a water bottle that we take camping.”

“What?” Bryan stopped and looked at her.

“You said a cup didn’t you? He drinks a lot of water.”

Clearing his throat, Bryan rubbed his forehead with his fingers, twisting his mouth in amusement. “I meant a jock cup. You know, an athletic supporter.”

Laura’s cheeks colored. “Oh…Why didn’t you just say he needs a jockstrap?”

“I assumed…never mind. You do realize that a cup is not the same as a regular jock, don’t you?”

Laura watched in embarrassment as he tried not to smile.

“It’s so refreshing to see a grown woman blush.” Bryan smiled in spite of the fact he wasn’t sure he liked the affect she had on him. “Why don’t I take care of this?”

“We can handle it.” Her voice raised an octave. “I hadn’t thought of this part of being a single mother, to be honest. I told you I wasn’t ready for him to be in sports.”

“Let me pick him up after school tomorrow and take him shopping before practice. Taking all the little ones shopping must be a disaster. The store closes at five.”

“If you’re sure you wouldn’t mind,” Laura said, absently stacking some scattered papers on the leather-top table. “I’ll owe you one.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Chapter Four

Laura watched her three children climb into the tree house Todd and the kids had finished building only weeks before his heart attack. She wondered how their lives would be altered by his absence.

Would her sons grow up knowing how to treat their wives and children? How could she begin to answer the boys’ questions about puberty? Her own brother was nearly ten years her senior. She knew nothing of what changes her sons would experience.

Would Carrie learn how to relate to men? She seemed so lost without her daddy. One minute she would be a happy little girl, the next, overflowing with any number of emotions.

Laura understood exactly what Carrie was going through. It had devastated Laura when her grandfather had died. He’d been her best buddy, especially the summer before they found the tumor. Experience had taught her nothing, she realized. She’d felt the same sense of loss, and yet she had no way to help her daughter’s pain go away.

That evening, T.J. bounded into the kitchen while Laura was preparing dinner. He grabbed a carrot and munched noisily. “How can Daddy be happy in heaven without us?”

Laura put down the knife she was using, and her mouth opened, though the words she sought would not come. She leaned on the counter and looked at the younger version of her husband. “Heaven isn’t like Earth. There is no sadness and pain.”

“Do you think Daddy asked God why he had to die?”

“Yes, your dad probably had a whole list of questions for Him.” She wrapped her arms around her son and gave him a kiss. “I think God is telling Daddy the same thing that I remind myself of each day, that He hasn’t given us any more than we can handle. Sometimes it’s not easy to understand God’s plan, but the Bible says we should trust in the Lord with all our hearts.” Could she really expect her son to believe words she herself had questioned over and again in the past few months?

“Oh,” T.J. said, accepting her answer with a childlike trust. Then he ran back to the playroom.

Laura stood, surrounded by the emptiness that her son’s difficult questions prompted. “God, why isn’t it that simple for me? Why can’t I accept your wisdom with that same kind of trust?”

Later, while she was getting ready for bed, a raw and primitive grief overwhelmed her. Her entire body ached from uncontrollable sobs. “What do you expect of me God?” Stepping into the shower, she let the tepid water drip over her face and tired body. Inhaling deep, she leaned her head back. “How can I possibly raise these three children alone, God? They were all Todd and I could handle together.”

The next weekend her best friend, Barb, and her husband Chuck came for dinner with their two kids. Realizing how much she’d missed entertaining, Laura had looked forward to adult conversation all week.

Barb snatched a mushroom from the salad, and Laura scowled.

“Don’t start, Laura. My boss is driving me crazy. I’m almost ready to get back into child care,” Barb proclaimed.

“Right.” Laura laughed, still chopping vegetables for the salad. “If you want more chaos in your days, you are crazy.”

“A doozy, huh? What happened?”

“Ty and Jeffrey’s mom came and needed to talk just as the kids were getting up from their naps. I shouldn’t complain, it’s been months since she’s stopped long enough to visit. I think she was afraid to bother me after Todd died.” Laura checked the lasagna and filled the glasses on the table. Carrie escorted Barb’s daughter, Kate into the room.

“Mom, you said we could have pop tonight,” Carrie complained with an air of authority.

“After you drink your milk, you may.” Carrie moaned aloud while Laura called the boys to dinner and continued her story. “Since a parent was here, the kids decided to test the limits. Carrie started playing the piano. The two-year-olds pulled all the toys off the shelves. Jeffrey left the basement door open when he went to find his lost dinosaur. Rachel moved like a centipede toward the stairs. Letisha just kept on talking. When I tried to get around her, I dropped Jacob’s bottle, the top flew across the room, and formula splashed from the ceiling to the floor. I did reach the door before Rachel took a nosedive down the stairs.”

“Is that all?” Barb said in a sarcastic tone.

“Of course not. T.J. and Chad burst through the door fighting and screaming. Then, to make matters worse, the phone rang, and the school principal called about a fight Chad had been involved in. I’m so glad it’s Friday.”

After dinner, Chuck turned on a movie for himself and the kids, suggesting Laura and Barb escape to the family room to visit. Laura sank into the sofa and leaned her head back.

“You need to take a break.”

“Right, a vacation to my island paradise, huh?” She gave Barb a knowing glance.

She and Barb were more like sisters than friends. Barb knew Laura better than Laura did herself, and that in itself created some difficult situations. But what was worse, was Laura wanted to reach out, to talk, to feel again. And she knew Barb knew it, too.

“Talk to me, Laura,” Barb said quietly. “You have something on your mind.”

“Why do I bother trying to hide anything from you?” After a lengthy silence, Laura looked at her friend. “I have to learn to cope, as much for the kids’ sake as my own,” Laura murmured. “I have never understood how single parents deal with everything.”

“I think they learn to accept help when it’s offered,” Barb suggested.

Laura straightened her back and lifted her chin. “I will not become dependent on anyone again.”

“It’s hard now, Laura, but it’ll get easier. There are more important things than work. Let yourself relax every now and then. Even God took a day off.”

“I used to enjoy throwing around the football, kicking a few goals and pitching a few home runs. Now there’s no time or energy for that. It’s a constant struggle to keep up with the day-to-day stuff.”

“I’m sure it is. Something has to give.”

Laura rolled her head from side to side. “But what? I can’t ask any more of the kids. They’re already starting to notice we’ve cut most of the fun day trips from our schedule.”

“Then let’s take the kids to the zoo one of these weekends.”

“That would be good for us. Get outside, walk, and of course, I have to get some cotton candy.”

“Now you’re talking like yourself.”

After they’d finished the dishes, Barb hugged Laura.

“What was that for?”

“I just have this feeling.”

Laura laughed. “Don’t do this to me. The last time you had one of your ‘wonderful’ feelings, I ended up sick for nine months.”

“Admit it. You wouldn’t know what to do without Chad keeping you on your toes.”

“That’s an understatement. At least that won’t be the case this time. Maybe I’m going to win the lottery. Of course, since I don’t play, I couldn’t win.”

“No, that’s not it I see a change in you.” She looked at Laura, studying her. “You’ve become stronger.”

“You mean more stubborn. It couldn’t be physically, I haven’t had time to work out or walk since before Todd died.”

“I don’t mean either. It’s emotional. God must be preparing you for something.”

This time, Laura laughed aloud. “Oh please. You’re being ridiculous.”

Barb wagged her eyebrows, then smiled. “And whatever it is, you’d better hang on to your hat, because it’s going to take everything you’ve got, and more.”

Chapter Five

Two weeks later, Laura, Chad, Jacob and Carrie sat on the portable bleachers cheering for T.J.’s team. Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of Todd missing his son’s first football game. Oh, Todd. You were supposed to be here. Watching him, coaching him. Who’s going to…?

Laura’s thoughts were interrupted when T.J. recovered a fumble and took off down the field. Laura jumped off the bleachers. “Go T.J.! Cut right!” She stopped yelling, suddenly remembering the baby beside her. She prepared to soothe him, but he slept through all the noise from the game.

The Mustangs had a strong offense, but their defense lacked the size to stop the opposition from scoring more touchdowns. They played hard, and Laura was proud of them.

Bryan walked across the field with his hand on T.J.’s slumped shoulder. “I promised T.J. I’d take you all for an ice-cream cone after the game.”

Laura croaked, “Thanks, but I need to get home. Why don’t we take a rain check? You did a great job, T.J.”

“We didn’t even win, Mom,” T.J. answered, clearly disappointed.

“Can I go with Bryan, Mom?” Chad interrupted.

Bryan motioned Laura aside and pushed his son’s stroller, smiling lazily. Laura tried to ignore the fluttering in her stomach. She cleared her throat before trying to talk again. Again, a raspy reply was all she could manage. “Not today, Chad.”

“Sounds like you need a double-decker ice-cream cone. What’s so important at home?”

Laura’s voice was barely a whisper. She motioned to Carrie to tell him, but Carrie shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know why we can’t go! You never let us have any fun since Daddy died.” Laura watched as Carrie stomped away, a sudden stream of tears flowing. “All we ever do is work!”

T.J. and Chad looked at Laura, then chased after their sister. Laura turned to Bryan, guilt laying its burden on her again.

“Yours must have been the voice I heard encouraging the boys. I appreciate it.”

Laura nodded, thankful that he didn’t mention Carrie’s tantrum. “Thanks for the offer, but I have cakes to decorate for a wedding shower. They’ll be picked up in a few hours.”

“A talented woman. Well, since you’ll be busy for a while, why don’t I take the kids for lunch and bring them home later? I’m sure you could use a little peace and quiet.”

Laura shrugged. “I can’t give in to her tantrum.”

“Everyone’s entitled to change their mind once in a while, even mothers. Take a few hours off.”

Laura was puzzled by this side of Bryan. The careerminded executive was offering to take her children to lunch.

“Thank you anyway Bryan…”

“I believe it was you who said that this child care contract was like a partnership in parenting. That should work both ways. I may not be Superdad, but I can handle burgers in the park.”

She wanted to argue, but recently coping with the effects of her husband’s death kept her in a constant state of turmoil, and right now, her emotions were quickly gaining control. She met the kids at her van and sent them to meet Bryan.

When they arrived at the house an hour later, Laura was finishing the cakes. Without prompting, the kids thanked Bryan and got their mother’s permission to go to the park.

“Be back in an hour. And be careful.”

Bryan held Jacob, and sat across from her at the table. “The kids said your favorite is an old-fashioned chocolate soda. I hope they were right. I also brought you a burger and fries, in case you didn’t take time to fix lunch.” He looked at the cake and back to Laura. “Mind if I watch?”

“That’s fine.” Laura drank the soda, letting the ice cream slide slowly down her sore throat. “This tastes wonderful. Thank you.”

He watched as she added borders to the cakes and put them into boxes. “You seemed to enjoy the game.”

“I wanted to strangle a coach or two, to be honest.”

“Present company excluded, I hope.”

She smiled apologetically, “You did a great job with the boys, Bryan. Not all coaches share your philosophy, though.”

“Warning taken. I’ve already talked to Kevin, but I’ll mention it again. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about doing me a favor. The company has offered their block of seats for me to take the boys to a Bronco game. What do you think about helping?”

“Weekends are pretty busy at our house.”

“I bet they are. I need one more chaperon, and I’m sure having an experienced mother along would comfort the other parents. Carrie and Chad would probably enjoy it, too.”

She stole a glance at him. “I appreciate the invitation. It’s been hard for the kids to understand some of the changes we have to make without Todd, but they’ll get used to it. I’m sorry about Carrie’s outburst.”

Bryan set Jacob on the floor and set a brightly colored toy in his view. “A daddy’s girl?”

Laura nodded. “I just begin to think we’re making progress, when something else happens. I can’t figure out what makes her act like that.”

“Try not to let her get you down.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Jacob rolled into the next room. Bryan caught him and brought him back. “I think she’s acting pretty normal for a pre-adolescent girl who’s just lost her father.”

“It just seems I can’t do anything right anymore. She argues with everything I say.”

“Maybe she’s ready to make a few decisions on her own.”

“She’s ten years old!”

“Ten going on twenty, right? I’m suggesting you start with small decisions, nothing monumental. Let the responsibility grow with her.”

“And what makes you an expert on raising kids suddenly?” Leaning back in her chair, she crossed her arms defiantly.

He stood up, smiling with satisfaction. “I guess not as much as I thought. I think I’ve overstayed my welcome. See you Monday.”

As he walked out the door, Bryan overheard her muttering. “Uncomplicated, Bryan. Let’s keep it that way!”

The next Monday Bryan watched in fury as Kevin pushed the boys, stressing the importance of winning even more than before. After the practice ended and the kids were gone, Bryan pointed out that they should be teaching good sportsmanship, teamwork and skills, not just winning.

“It’s the reason we play.” Kevin turned and walked off.

“Where’d you come up with that?” Bryan flung the ball into a duffel bag and zipped it closed.

Kevin’s eyebrows lifted, and he pointed at Bryan. “You’re not going to tell me winning, at anything, isn’t just as important to you. Are you?”

Bryan faltered, unable to deny the accusation. “Who are we here for, them, or us? Half of these boys haven’t ever touched a football.”

“And what about the few, like T.J. Bates, who have the raw talent to go all the way with this? Don’t they deserve more than what this team has to offer?”

“They all need the basics. Not one of them, including T.J., are so good they can’t strengthen their form.”

“Winning is the goal, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“One goal, but not the priority at this level. Didn’t you look at their faces during the game? They were having fun out there whether we were winning or not. Let’s not put that fire out.” Bryan couldn’t believe they were having this argument. For months they’d planned and anticipated the fun of coaching these boys.

“If you think you can do a better job of it, the position’s yours. No problem.”

“Oh, no, you don’t! You’re the head coach, I’m just helping.”

“Not any more. You don’t like the way I’m coaching, you do it. I’ll just sit back and take a few lessons from the pro.”

Bryan opened the trunk and dropped the bag inside. He slammed the lid, venting his anger on it instead of his friend, who seemed to have changed his coaching philosophy overnight. Sure, they’d both been aggressive players, but Kevin had never talked or reacted like this before. “If you won’t do it right, then I guess I’d better. Another week of your attitude, and we won’t have a team left!”

“Then maybe they don’t belong here in the first place,” Kevin muttered, as he climbed into his truck and drove away.

Bryan discovered he’d fallen into another one of Kevin’s schemes. This one was geared to show Bryan that kids were a lot more fun than hassle. It was as if his friend knew exactly what Bryan was thinking.

He also realized something Kevin didn’t. Being a coach, and being a dad, were not synonymous. Just because he knew how to teach beginners football, didn’t mean he would be able to transfer that talent into teaching his son about life.

Chapter Six

Bryan scanned the garage and walked back into the house. “Where’d you put the ladder, Kevin?”

“Still in the truck. What’re you doing?”

“Mrs. Richards needs some help picking apples before the frost gets them. She’s going to watch the baby, so don’t worry.”

Kevin met him at the front door. “Every time she sees me she offers to take care of him for us. Her ladder’s a little rickety, so I’ll run get another one from the warehouse and help.”

Bryan stopped him. “Fine, but the pie’s mine.”

“You haven’t seen her pies, bud.” He opened his hands to show several inches. “If she asks, we want the Dutch apple.”

An elderly woman walked across the driveway and reached for the baby. “It’s such a tragedy about this little one’s mother. I hope you found Jacob a good sitter. He needs a mommy.” Jacob went without a fuss, while Bryan and Kevin smiled at one another.

“My secretary helped me find a wonderful child care provider. He’s very happy there.”

“It’s not one of the big places that you see on those scandal reports, is it?”

Bryan laughed openly. “Not at all. Laura watches a few kids in her home. She’s been doing child care for several years.”

“You pick a sack of apples for her, too, then. Dutch apple as usual, Kevin?”

Wrapping his arm around the woman’s shoulders, Kevin gave her a gentle hug. “You make the best, Lil. Need any other jobs done while we’re here?”

“Bribery. So, one pie’s not enough anymore, huh?”

Bryan had carried the ladder back to the yard and returned for the boxes to hold the apples, just in time to hear the woman’s remark. He looked to Kevin, silently scolding him for begging for more. “I was joking, Kevin. One’s plenty.”

“Oh, pshaw. You two could use a few more calories. No wonder Kevy can’t find a nice girl. Nothing to hold on to.” Then pinching Jacob’s cheek, she turned back to her house. “And your daddy shouldn’t have any trouble finding you a suitable mother.”

Once Lillian Richards was inside the house, Kevin pinched Bryan’s cheek. “No trouble, at all. Bless her for not placing her spell on me!”

“I take it that means I don’t need the extra calories, huh?”

The door opened again. “Kevin, I do need the deep freeze moved to clean under it, if you two wouldn’t mind.” The two men looked at each other and grimaced.

When Kevin returned with the second ladder, the jibing resumed. “Yup, all you need to straighten your life out is a wife.” He roared with laughter.

“At least I can get one,” Bryan returned.

“Thank heavens, I can’t.”

Bryan picked a rotten apple and threw it at Kevin, hitting him in the stomach as he reached to the top of the tree for more apples, the surprise knocking him off the ladder. As expected, Kevin popped back up, both hands loaded, and ready to fire.

“If you weren’t so skinny, you wouldn’t have even felt that.”

“Boys,” a high-pitched voice hollered. “The baby’s diaper needs changing. I don’t know how to use these paper things.”

“He’s your son,” Kevin bragged. “I’m only the uncle. That means, I don’t have diaper duty.”

“Kevin, since you’re already on the ground, why don’t you give his daddy a break,” Lillian called.

“Yeah, give me a break.” Bryan chuckled.

At dinner that night, Kevin placed the meat loaf on the table and sat down. “The football team’s doing great You’ve taught them a lot, Bryan.”

Sprinkling his food with salt and pepper, Bryan eyed his friend. “They’re eager learners. And the game’s still fun.”

“Imagine that.” Kevin chuckled, pouring himself an over-size glass of milk. The ragged University of Colorado shirt, left over from their college days, was evidence of his friend’s dedication to the sport.

Bryan knew that Kevin wanted to rub it in that he’d staged the entire winning fanatic episode on purpose. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.” In his own mind, there was no comparing coaching three days a week to being a father.

Jacob sat in the high chair next to the table, playing with a set of plastic keys while Bryan shoveled spoonfuls of strained fruit into his hungry son’s mouth as quickly as he could.

“I have to be out of town Tuesday night. Do you want me to ask Laura to watch him?”

“I can handle it. Pick him up after work Tuesday, then take him back to Laura in the morning, right?” He scooped another bite of mashed potatoes into his mouth. “No problem.”

Bryan finished his bite then added, “You’ll go through his whole routine, won’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, bottle, play, diaper, eat cereal and fruit, play, then bed. We’ll be fine.”

“No, it’s bottle, eat, bath, play, read a book, music, then, bed. Want me to write it down?” Bryan pulled a pen from his shirt pocket along with a pad of paper.

“I don’t have to sing, do I?”

“Whatever you do, don’t sing. You want him to sleep, don’t you? Laura gave us some lullaby tapes. I turn them on before he goes down.”

“No bottles during the night?”

Bryan shook his head.

“Piece of cake.”

Tuesday night, Bryan called from the hotel to check on his son and Kevin. They were getting along fine. It was him that was having difficulty. He used to enjoy the traveling. Since his son had arrived, he’d reassigned the accounts that required overnight stays to the junior executives. He hadn’t felt right flying off when he was just getting to know his little boy.

This account was different. The owner of the company had requested Bryan, and his boss had given him no choice in the matter. Though he was grateful that his superiors had given him time to adjust to his new circumstances, he’d realized that it couldn’t last. Traveling was part of his job, an aspect that he could no longer delegate to others.

It created a difficult situation that he’d ignored up until now. Expecting Kevin to fill in as daddy wasn’t fair. He’d already welcomed them into his home while Bryan looked for something to reinvest the money from his and Andrea’s home into.

The arrangement was working well for both of them so far. When Bryan had learned about his son, Kevin discouraged him from finding a place of his own right away, claiming the adjustment would be easier with two of them. He’d been right. Bryan didn’t know how he could have managed alone.

In the meantime, Bryan had invested his profits into the expansion of Kevin’s construction company. At the rate business was booming, Kevin would be paying back the money ahead of schedule.

Bryan loosened his tie and kicked off his loafers, then turned on the evening news. After three reports of rising crime, he changed the channel, stopping to listen to the catchy children’s tune. What was he going to do when he had to be away for a week, or like the job in Sweden, a month? Something had to change.

Chapter Seven

Thanksgiving reminded Laura that even with all she’d lost this year, she still had much to be grateful for. That still wasn’t enough to ease the loneliness Todd’s death had created.

Much about the day had been the same as always, family had gathered, the air was crisp, and the television continued to offer the traditional parades and football mania. Though everyone missed Todd, no one talked about him. That, too, had become a tradition in the short time since he had died. Pretending that everything was okay. That the pain, no matter how intense, would disappear if ignored.

It didn’t.

Even the call from Kevin had been a welcome break. After hanging up, Laura turned to her mother. “Bryan’s roommate just called. It turns out Bryan and Jacob stayed home alone today and Kevin seems concerned. Since we have so much food left over, I thought I’d take him some.”

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate it, honey. Your dad and I’ll watch the kids. If he’s a football fan, maybe he’d like to come keep your father and brother company.”

“Can’t hurt to ask.”

Laura wrote down the address and got into the car. A few minutes later, she pulled into the driveway of Kevin’s home. She grinned at the image of two bachelors living here. Gathering the plates, she climbed the steps and elbowed the doorbell.

Bryan answered after a long delay. “Laura! What are you doing here?” Before she could reply, Jacob tried to jump out of Bryan’s arms and into hers.

“Happy Thanksgiving.” She held up the plates. “I thought you might enjoy this.”

Bryan motioned her inside. His eyes narrowed. Laura set the plates of turkey dinner on a coffee table, then took the baby and snuggled him close. “Hi, Jacob. Are you and Daddy having fun?”

“Just having a few beers and watching the football games,” Bryan mumbled, reaching for dirty dishes strewn across the table.

“Sounds relaxing.” Laura handed him another empty beer bottle, then offered him a warm smile.

“So, does your child care service always include complimentary, holiday dinners? Or am I a special case?”

Puzzled by his mockery, she replied, “If you don’t want it, I’ll be glad to take it home. I’m sure someone there would enjoy it.”

“Did Kevin ask you to check on us, or was this your idea?”

She didn’t know how to answer. If she claimed credit, he’d think that she had a personal interest in him. If she admitted Kevin had called her, she’d break the confidence he’d placed in her and possibly create problems between the two men.

Before she could answer, Bryan made the decision for her. “No matter,” he said turning into the kitchen. “Thanks for your concern, but as you can see, Jacob and I are doing fine.”

Laura heard the clamor of dishes and empty bottles. She hugged Jacob, letting his small warm body soothe her nerves as she followed Bryan.

Watching Bryan from the doorway, his clenched jaw confirmed her suspicions. “What’s wrong, Bryan? You haven’t been the same since Friday…”

His dark eyes filled with a burning, faraway look.

“Bryan…?”

He dropped a baby bottle into the dishwater and raked wet hands through his hair, then slammed his fists on the counter.

“I guess I shouldn’t have come. I just thought, well…I thought that I was a little harsh Friday night about you not calling to let me know you’d be late.” She handed Jacob to him and turned to leave.

He took hold of her arm and motioned for her to go into the living room. “Don’t go. We need to talk. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you.”

Laura sat on the sofa and hid a toy rabbit from Jacob, urging him to find it. She raised her eyes to find Bryan watching them.

“If I’ve done something…”

“You haven’t done anything. It’s about Jacob. He’ll be staying with my sister after Christmas.” Bryan walked to the tall, narrow window and gazed into the fading sunset.

“Oh,” she whispered.

“I expect to pay until you can find another child. I know this must be a difficult time to find a new client.”

“You mean he’s staying there permanently?”

He shrugged, lowering his head. “This isn’t an easy decision.”

“I’m sure it isn’t. You’re giving your son away?”

“It’s best for him,” he snapped.

“I know the adjustment was hard for you at first, but the roughest part’s past. Are you sure about this?”

When he didn’t answer, she knelt beside Jacob, who was reaching for a photo album. Rescuing the open book, she saw photos of Bryan and a woman standing before an elegant white stone fireplace. She wore a stunning cream sequined dress with diamond-and-emerald jewelry that matched her green eyes.

Jacob’s mother was beautiful. Not that that should come as a surprise.

Laura turned the pages. In every picture Jacob’s mother was immaculately dressed. Laura couldn’t imagine this woman pregnant, let alone cuddling the little boy Laura had come to love.

She glanced at Bryan, who continued to stare out the window at the darkened sky, ignoring Jacob’s happy squeals.

“I realize that your family was broken up just when it was starting, Bryan, but this seems so drastic. You and Jacob need each other now more than ever.”

Laura felt her words of comfort were hollow. How could she possibly help someone else deal with his grief when she had such difficulty herself?

“The three of us were never a family.” He grabbed the album from Laura’s hand and flung it across the room. The leather-bound book crashed into the wall and tumbled to the floor.

Jacob wailed, frantically reaching for Laura. She swept him into her arms and bounced him on her hip until he calmed down.

Bryan turned away and began to clean up the mess, carefully replacing the pages in the binder.

“I’m a pretty good listener.”

“We’ll be fine.”

“You think you’re the only one who’s angry about losing a spouse?” she said, her voice racked with emotion.

“I don’t think you understand the situation.” He glared, not at her, but past her, as if at an invisible enemy.

“I’m willing to try.”

“You couldn’t begin to understand, Laura. Your life is so sheltered…” His bellow stopped midsentence. He dropped the album into an empty chair and jammed his hands into his pockets.

“Yes, it was once,” she softly admitted. The guilt she’d been fighting blanketed her. Why was it that this man could infuriate her at the same time her heart swelled with feelings she couldn’t understand?

“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

Frustration fed the tension between them.

Bryan continued, “I’m just not cut out for fatherhood. You make parenting look so easy.”

Laura closed her eyes, rubbing her aching temples, giving in to the tension that had been building all day. “Abandoned. Confused. Angry. Afraid.” Her tone hardened. “Easy? I know what you’re feeling, because I was there. I was Mrs. Todd Bates, wife, best friend, mother. Todd was everything to me.”

“I’m not…”

“No, Bryan, let me finish. I’m tired of this pedestal you seem to have put me on. I have the same fears and frustrations you and every other parent has. And like you, I’m learning to face them—alone.” She backed away and collapsed against a closet door.

He sat on the couch, his profile rugged and somber.

She swallowed hard, asking God to fill her with courage. She wasn’t sure if Bryan believed in Christ or not, or whether he would even listen. What she saw as God’s handiwork, others often saw as coincidences. Laura sat on the edge of the sofa.

“Bryan, there hasn’t been an easy day since Todd died, whether we’re talking children or not. As much as my kids mean to me, there are days I don’t know how I can cope. Yet God placed them in my hands, to raise, to love, until He’s ready to take us home. It’s the same with my clients’ children.”

Bryan reached across the sofa and took hold of her hand. The warmth and tenderness surprised her. “He gave you a very special gift, Laura.”

She pulled her hand away, refusing to let herself feel anything for a man who could turn away his own child. “He gave you one, too, Bryan. A son.”

“Right. And I’m doing a real bang-up job with him.”

“It’s no sin to be less comfortable with a baby than an eight-year-old. God made each flower different. Some tolerate heat, some last until the snow falls, and some are only pretty a few weeks in the spring, but God takes care of them all in His special way.”

As he considered her minisermon, she continued. “It won’t ever be easy without Todd, but I know now that I can manage. God answers our prayers every day, big and small.” Tears, trapped by her stubborn will, fought for their freedom.

Laura let the silence lengthen before proceeding. “What is sending Jacob to his aunt really about?”

“Andrea was nothing like you.”

“I can see that. So?”

Bryan remained silent, staring blankly at the wall. Laura waited. He picked up his son, then turned to her. “Until a week before I met you, I knew nothing of Jacob. Had no idea I was even going to be a father.”

Laura gasped.

“She left me right after she found out she was pregnant, by my estimation. A year later her lawyer called and told me she’d died, and that I was a father.”

Laura shook her head. “How could she…not tell you?” How could Andrea look into Jacob’s beautiful brown eyes, touch his smooth olive skin, hold his long fingers and not think of his father, Laura thought.

Jacob grinned, and her tears broke loose with a reluctant laugh. “Good grief, he even smiles just like you, first one side, then a whole smile. He’s a spitting image of you.” Laura’s teary gaze met Bryan’s in a silent shared understanding. “What your wife did was terrible, Bryan, but it’s past. Jacob needs you.”

Bryan looked at his son as Jacob closed his eyes and rested his head on Bryan’s shoulder. He picked up the thermal blanket, walked down the hall, and returned emptyhanded.

When he came back, he again tried to explain the unexplainable. “I need time to work through this. It was so sudden. One day I was giving a 110 percent to my job, and the next, I’m trying to figure out how a baby thinks.

“My career is ready to take off, that’ll mean more traveling, longer hours. It’s all hitting at once. He deserves more than I have to give him.”

“In a blink of the eye, Jacob will be ready for footballs, computers and girls. Where will you be? Still in the office, climbing that corporate ladder. For what? A son who doesn’t even know you?”

Bryan wondered how she could read his mind and verbalize his fears after knowing him only three months. Already she’d made a difference in his son’s life. In his too, if he’d admit it.

“Don’t let whatever happened between you and your wife ruin what you and Jacob can have.”

“I don’t even know what happened between us, Laura. One day she was here, the next she was gone! And a year later, her son is creating total havoc in my life.”

“He’s not just her son!” The words ripped impatiently out of her mouth.

Bryan turned away. Laura had no idea what she’d just said. Had no idea how many times he’d hashed over dates, events and documents in the last few days, struggling to overcome doubts that he was Jacob’s biological father. He needed time and distance from the baby to come to terms with Andrea’s betrayal.

“Isn’t there anything I can do to convince you, Bryan?”

He shook his head. “The decision’s been made. Cass and her husband will be able to give him everything I can’t.”

“Everything you won’t, you mean!” Laura stood and paced the floor. “Tell me that you don’t love the idea of raising that little boy, Bryan—of coaching his football team, of sharing an ice-cream cone…”

“Stop it, Laura. This isn’t your problem.”

As if he’d totally worn her out, she clipped each word. “Put the past behind you.”

Thinking of the many times he’d seen that dreamy look appear in her clear blue eyes when talking of her husband, Bryan realized she was as guilty as he. “Is that how you manage?” He turned and faced her, his voice thick with sarcasm. How different his life would be now if his wife had ever felt for him what Laura had for Todd.

She looked as if he’d slapped her. “I do the best I can, but I couldn’t have made it through the past few months without God.”

“I think I burned those bridges behind me a long time ago.”

She lifted her chin, meeting his gaze straight on. Two deep breaths, and her anger was replaced with a serene confidence. “He doesn’t keep score, Bryan. He knows your needs and is just waiting for the invitation to help.”

“Sometimes, it’s just not that easy…”

Jacob started crying, yet Bryan hesitated. Laura looked down the hall, then back to him. He could see the panic in her eyes, almost feel her heart racing, trying desperately to scheme a way to mend his rotting soul.

“There’s a Sunday morning singles’ class I’ve been attending. I was reluctant at first, but it’s been very helpful. If you’re interested…let me know.”

She turned and walked out the door.

“Don’t hold your breath,” Bryan grumbled.

Chapter Eight

“Why do we have to go to another football game?” Carrie complained.

“It’s not T.J.’s game, Carrie. It’s the Broncos’. At Mile High Stadium, like on T.V.” Laura poked the needle through the canvas and pulled the floss taught, then crossed the square to complete the stitch.

“It’s still football.”

Laura took a deep breath and counted to ten. After the way she’d lectured Bryan the week before, she figured she owed it to him to try his advice on parenting. “If you want to stay here, that’s fine. You could go to Lisa’s house while the boys and I are gone. I’m not making that decision for you. Just let me know your answer so I can let Bryan know how many tickets we’ll need.”

Her daughter straightened her back, the whiny attitude replaced with interest. “Bryan’s going with us?”

“T.J.’s entire football team is going. They needed a parent to go along, and Bryan was nice enough to ask us.”

She’d been ready to say no after their discussion on Thanksgiving day. But he’d come in the door the following Monday morning and admitted that she’d hit a nerve.

While he hadn’t agreed to go to church with her, he seemed curious. For his and Jacob’s sake, she vowed to do anything she could to convince Bryan to keep his son.

At the game a week later, Bryan absentmindedly handed a granola bar to one of the boys. He watched Kevin and Laura come down the steps with refreshments. Kevin leaned provocatively close, and she blushed in response to whatever he’d whispered in her ear.

Laura handed the tray of snacks to Carrie, who was sitting next to Bryan. As she stepped over several boys, tiptoeing through their gear, Laura lost her balance. Bryan jumped up, but it was Kevin who grabbed her around the waist and helped her regain her footing. Bryan’s glare brought a raised eyebrow and mischievous smile from his friend.

This day couldn’t end a minute too soon. It had been pathetic. The Broncos won, T.J. and the rest of the team had had a great time, Chad was enthralled with everything, and even Carrie appeared to have enjoyed herself. None of that mattered. It was Laura that had been the center of his attention. There was no doubt in his mind, she’d had a great time, too. Why wouldn’t she? Kevin didn’t taken his attention from her the entire game.

Daylight quickly faded into darkness during the last quarter. As they left the stadium, Kevin caught up to Bryan. “Great game, huh? Say, I’ve been thinking, Laura shouldn’t drive back after dark with a bunch of kids to handle.”

Bryan had thought the same thing, but reasoned that she had more experience dealing with a car full of kids than he did. Still, her van had been acting up lately and she might need help. He glared at Kevin. “Well, I guess that leaves you to do the noble duty then, doesn’t it? I have to drive the company van.”

Kevin smiled. “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”

“When did you become so chivalrous?” Bryan grumbled, and continued to lead the group back to the parking lot.

Laura helped the kids load their backpacks and accepted Kevin’s offer to help with the kids. She followed close behind Bryan’s van until they were on the interstate, then let the distance between them grow.

They arrived at the school twenty minutes earlier than expected, but streetlights illuminated the grounds. The kids raced to the playground as Kevin joined Bryan.

“That is one terrific woman,” Kevin said.

Bryan watched his friend’s gaze return to Laura, who was sorting through the scattered gear left in her van. As she leaned over the seat, he knew exactly what Kevin was thinking.

“Quit playing your games, Kevin. Not with Laura.”

“Who says it’s a game?”

Kevin tossed his coat into the company van, then returned to Laura, appearing to be offering his help. Bryan continued to supervise kids and greet parents. When Laura leaned over the middle seat, Kevin moved closer to her, blocking Bryan’s view of her completely.

While they waited, Bryan threw the football with the boys, keeping one eye on Laura’s van. He fought the temptation to see just how accurate his throwing arm was after all these years.

Why do I care? A woman is the last thing I need complicating my life right now! Forget her. In just three more weeks, Jacob will be with Cassandra, and everything will get back to normal.

He realized how much he had come to respect and admire Laura Bates. She was compassionate and sensitive. Charming and intelligent. Dignified and beautiful. And how he’d tried to ignore his growing feelings for her. Even reminding himself of Andrea’s betrayal didn’t taint the warmth he experienced when Laura was around. Their conversation from Thanksgiving day played over and over in his mind like a stuck record. If there’d been any doubt before, it became clear that day. Nothing meant more to Laura than her family. She’d never understand his decision.

Three weeks. If I can just survive three more weeks.

After the other parents left, she approached him.

“Thanks for the tickets, Bryan. We had a great time.”

“Glad you could come. You and Kevin certainly seemed to enjoy yourselves.”

“He’s something else.”

The smile on her face could have been considered admiration, could have been contempt; he wasn’t sure.

“I’d be glad to fill you in on what makes him tick.” Bryan wanted to warn her about Kevin—how he toyed with women, how he loved them and left them. What a fool you’d be to fall for him, Laura Bates.

“I already know what makes a man like him tick. Thanks anyway.” She stepped back as Kevin joined them. “See you in the morning. Bye, Kevin.”

“Later,” his friend replied with the obvious intent to see her again.

Bryan watched Laura drive away, then got into the van and slammed the door. “Hands off, Kevin!”

“I never touched her,” Kevin claimed, raising his hands, pleading innocence.

“You know what I mean.”

“Thought you weren’t interested.”

“My wife just died!”

“Andrea’s been out of your life for over a year. You’re free to start dating again, and Laura seems like as good a place to start if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you, but that hasn’t stopped you from throwing interference, has it? We have a professional working relationship. Nothing more.”

“Right. That’s why she brought you Thanksgiving dinner. Did she take any of the other families dinner?”

“Just admit that your stunt didn’t work. You know as well as I do, that if any of the other families had been in the shape I was, she would have done the same. Laura takes care of everyone. That’s as far as her feelings for me go.”

“The question is, for how long?”

Bryan stared straight ahead, simmering with jealousy. She was a wonderful woman, possibly one who could blow Kevin’s chauvinistic attitudes all to pieces, but in the end, it came down to the fact that he had no right to stop Kevin, and no intentions of exploring his own feelings for Laura.

He was about as interested in a wife and three more children as he was in eating quiche. Though if given a choice of kids, T.J., Carrie and Chad wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, they were just what he’d hoped for so many years ago.

The next weekend he overheard Kevin on the phone. “Afternoon Laura, what do you say we take in a movie?”

Bryan stopped to listen.

“You never know, I could be the man of your dreams.”

After a pause, Kevin cleared his throat.

“Well, when you change your mind, let me know. Goodbye, Mrs. Bates.” Kevin hung up, mumbling to himself, “Imagine that woman trying to develop a conscience in me!” Kevin walked into the kitchen, obviously surprised to find Bryan was cleaning out the refrigerator.

“What are you doing now?” Kevin growled. “Next thing you know, you’ll be cleaning closets and washing windows!”

“Laura is quite a lady, and she rattled you. I haven’t seen a woman do that to you in a long time.” Bryan razzed his friend, hoping he’d give up the matchmaking attempts.

Kevin had been the first one scheduled to make the trip to the altar, and the scars of being jilted still hadn’t healed. Yet, as sour as Kevin was about marriage, he seemed to think a family would take care of all Bryan’s problems.

“Don’t worry. No woman’s going to get to me.” Kevin turned to leave and called back over his shoulder, “But Laura Bates has gotten under your skin, friend, and it has nothing to do with ‘professionalism.’ May as well admit it.”

“Not on my life.” Bryan insisted. “We’re down to two weeks.”

“Fool,” Kevin muttered as he closed the door to the den.

It had been a long day, and an even longer week. Bryan had left the office early to work out before picking Jacob up from Laura’s. She looked up from the picture book she and Jacob were reading.

“Rough day, huh?”

Rough is losing a major account, this goes way beyond that. He grunted something in response and looked at his son.

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