“We can’t keep running from each other…”

Cal threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of Ashley’s neck and tilted her face to his. “We have to figure out a way to make this marriage of ours work.”

Fear mixed with her desire. “And what if it doesn’t?” The whispered words were out before Ashley could stop them.

Cal’s expression hardened. He took his hand away from her hair. “We’ll never know until we try.”

True.

“All right.” Ashley moved away from him. She twisted the glossy length of her hair into an austere knot and caught it in a butterfly clip.

“But if we do this and we do it on your timetable, then we do it on my terms.”

Cal lifted a brow. “Which are?”

“If I come back to North Carolina with you, then we can’t make love.”

Cal tried his best to keep his jaw from dropping.

Dear Reader,

I’m one of the lucky ones. The love of my life is also my very best friend. Marrying him was the easiest decision I ever made. Learning how to be married was a little tougher. (i.e., Should the toothpaste cap be left on or off? Is taking out the garbage a gender-oriented chore or an equal-opportunity event? Just how much information is too much? Or too little?) And though in the early days of our marriage our life together sometimes resembled a Hepburn-Tracy comedy, we eventually achieved a very nice balance and a healthy respect for each other’s wants and needs.

This is not, however, yet the case for Cal and Ashley Hart. College sweethearts, pursuing dual careers in medicine, they both expected everything to be just perfect when they finally tied the knot. It wasn’t. And neither could figure out why.

The problem? A failure to communicate.

And now Cal and Ashley are on the precipice. Do they cut their losses and prevent further hurt? Or roll up their sleeves, renew their commitment and get to work on the challenging task of making their marriage work in a very fundamental and satisfying way?

I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed creating it. For more information on this and other books, visit my Web site at www.cathygillenthacker.com.

Best wishes,

Cathy Gillen Thacker

Her Secret Valentine
Cathy Gillen Thacker

This book is dedicated to Charlie, with all my love.

Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter One

“How long is this situation between you and Ashley going to go on?” Mac Hart asked.

Cal tensed. He’d thought he had been invited over to his brother Mac’s house to watch playoff football with the rest of the men in the family. Now, suddenly, it was looking more like an intervention. He leaned forward to help himself to some of the nachos on the coffee table in front of the sofa. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Then let us spell it out for you,” Cal’s brother-in-law, Thad Lantz, said with his usual coach-like efficiency.

Joe continued, “She missed Janey’s wedding to Thad in August, as well as Fletcher’s marriage to Lily in October, and Dylan and Hannah’s wedding in November.”

Cal bristled. They all knew Ashley was busy completing her Ob/Gyn fellowship in Honolulu. “She wanted to be here, but since the flight from Honolulu to Raleigh is at minimum twelve hours, it’s too far to go for a weekend trip. Not that she has many full weekends off in any case.” Nor did he. Hence, their habit of rendezvousing in San Francisco, since it was a six- or seven-hour flight for each of them.

More skeptical looks. “She didn’t make it back to Carolina for Thanksgiving or Christmas or New Year’s this year, either,” Dylan observed.

Cal shrugged and centered his attention on the TV, where a lot of pre-game nonsense was currently going on. “She had to work all three holidays.” He wished the game would hurry up and start. The sooner it did, the sooner this conversation would be over.

“Had to or volunteered to?” Fletcher muttered with a questioning lift of his dark brow.

Uneasiness settled around Cal. He’d had many of the same questions himself. Still, Ashley was his wife, and he felt honor-bound to defend her. “I saw her in November in San Francisco. We celebrated all our holidays then.” In one passion-filled weekend that had oddly enough left him feeling lonelier and more uncertain of their union than ever.

Concerned looks were exchanged all the way around. Cal knew the guys in the family all felt sorry for him, which just made the situation worse.

Dylan dipped a tortilla chip into the chili-cheese sauce. “So when is Ashley coming home?” he asked curiously.

That was just it—Cal didn’t know. Ashley didn’t want to talk about it. “Soon,” he fibbed.

Thad paused, his expression thoughtful. “I thought her fellowship was up in December.”

Cal sipped his beer, the mellow golden brew settling like acid in his gut. “She took her oral exam then and turned in her thesis.”

Fletcher helped himself to a buffalo wing. “Her written exam was last July, wasn’t it?”

Cal nodded. “But her last day at the hospital isn’t until January 15,” he cautioned. In a couple of days from now.

“And then she’s coming back home, right?”

That had been the plan, when Ashley had left two and a half years ago to complete her medical education in Hawaii. Now he wasn’t so sure that was the case. But not wanting to tell his brothers any of that, he simply said, “She’s looking for a job now.”

“Here, in North Carolina.”

Cal certainly hoped so, since he was committed to his job at the Holly Springs Medical Center for another eighteen months, minimum.

“If she were my wife…” Mac began.

“Funny,” Cal interrupted, the last of his legendary patience waning swiftly. “You don’t have a wife.”

“If it were me,” Mac continued, ignoring Cal’s glare as he added a piping-hot pizza to the spread, “I’d get on a plane to Honolulu, put her over my shoulder and carry her home if necessary.” His take-charge attitude served him well as the sheriff of Holly Springs, but his romantic track record hardly made him an expert on dishing out relationship advice.

“That John Wayne stuff doesn’t work with Ashley.” Never had. Never would.

“Well, you better do something,” Joe warned.

All eyes turned to him. Cal waited expectantly, knowing from the silence that fell there was more. Finally, Joe cleared his throat. “The women in the family are all upset. You’ve been married nearly three years now, and most of that time you and Ashley have been living apart.”

“So?” Cal prodded.

“So, they’re tired of seeing you so unhappy.” Dylan took over where Cal left off. “They’re giving you and Ashley till Valentine’s Day—”

Cal and Ashley’s wedding anniversary.

“—to make thing right.”

“And if that doesn’t happen?” Cal demanded.

Fletcher scowled. “Then the women in the family are stepping in.”

“IF YOU KEEP this up, people are going to start calling you the Artful Dodger.”

The low sexy voice with the hint of Southern drawl echoed through the Honolulu General staff lounge. Her heart leaping with a mixture of pleasure and surprise, Ashley turned to see her husband of almost three years standing in the doorway. Joy swept through her as she hungrily surveyed him.

Cal was wearing a loose-fitting tropical print silk shirt that made the most of his hard-muscled chest and broad shoulders. Pleated trousers nicely outlined his trim waistline and long sturdy legs. His short, traditionally cut ash-blond hair was brushed away from his face, and his smooth golden skin glowed with good health. The hint of a traveler’s beard clung to his strong—and exceedingly stubborn—Hart jaw. Taken alone, his features weren’t particularly outstanding. His nose bore the scars of a childhood athletic injury. His brows and thick, short eyelashes were so light in hue that you could hardly see them, and his upper lip was a little on the thin side. And yet, together, those penetrating pewter-gray eyes and not-so-perfect features combined to make a drop-everything, he-is-so-arresting man. Not to mention, she thought wistfully, how stealthily he moved—as if all that male power were just waiting to be unleashed. Or how intimately he looked at her, which suggested he couldn’t wait to get her back into his arms and into his bed.

“Cal.” Ashley stared at him in shock.

“Well that’s something anyway.” He grinned at her lazily. “At least you recall my name.”

Beneath the teasing tone was a hint of hurt that was baffling, since Cal rarely revealed the inner workings of his heart and mind to her or anyone else. Ashley swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat, sensing that was about to change. He had four inches on her, so at five foot ten, she still had to tilt her head back to clearly see into his face.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded, wondering if his sturdy masculine presence and six-foot-two frame would ever stop making her feel tiny. “I thought—”

Cal arched his blond brow. “That I was going to wait until you gave me the signal it was okay to come and get you?”

Aware he was now standing close enough for her to inhale the sea-and-sun fragrance of his cologne, Ashley shoved aside the familiar anxiety bubbling up inside her, ducked beneath a Congratulations, Ashley! banner and went back to pulling things out of her locker and dropping them in a cardboard box. “Who said anything about you coming to get me?” She had wanted to be prepared for this no doubt difficult tête-à-tête. She had wanted to know precisely what to say.

Cal stepped closer. “Exactly. There were no plans made. And yet,” he observed, his voice dropping a seductive notch, “your last shift at the hospital was today.”

Ashley drew a deep breath and turned to face him. “What’s gotten into you?” Feeling the need for some protection from the emotions shimmering between them, she held her rain jacket in front of her like a shield.

Cal took it from her and dropped it into the box of belongings. “What do you mean?”

Her pulse pounding, Ashley whirled back to get a few books. “You’re normally so…easygoing and patient when it comes to stuff like this,” she said as she dropped them on top of her jacket. Today he seemed anything but that.

Cal’s eyes gleamed with a predatory light. He flattened his hand on the locker next to her and leaned in close. “Which is perhaps the problem, Ash. Maybe I’m too good at waiting and not nearly as good at going after what I want.”

Oh, my. “Which is—?” Ashley countered.

Cal took her in his arms and swept her close, until they were touching intimately. “For starters, this,” he told her as his lips came down on hers.

Their first kiss after a long separation always radiated lots of feeling and passion. And this one, Ashley noted as Cal’s lips and tongue laid claim to hers, was no exception. He tasted like the spearmint gum he carried in his pocket. And, as his arms wrapped tightly around her, she felt that she had finally come home. Not that this was any surprise.

Ashley had loved Cal practically from the first moment she had set eyes on him, during her freshman year of college at Wake Forest. Maybe it was because he was four years older than she was—already a first-year med student when they met—but he had always overwhelmed her with his confidence and sexy Southern charm. She felt safe when she was with him. Desired. Every inch a woman.

It was only when they were miles apart, out of each other’s arms, that the doubts crept in about their love lasting forever. But when he was kissing her like this, his lips moving surely over hers, all she could think was how right he felt pressed up against her.

They could have gone on forever like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing madly, if it hadn’t been for the sound of a door opening behind them. Followed by a discreet cough and laughter.

“No need to ask what you two are doing,” the maternity-ward nurse said.

Cal lifted his head reluctantly. “Celebrating!” he said, looking more than ready to do it all over again.

Ashley relaxed in Cal’s arms, laying her head on his chest, as the nurse beamed. She looked at Ashley. “You must have told him about the job offer in Maui! Isn’t that fabulous?” The nurse turned back to Cal. “Do you know how many of us would give up our vacations to work there?”

Silence fell as the impact of her words sank in. Cal’s expression turned troubled, as did Ashley’s and then the nurse’s. Ashley held up a hand before an apology could be made.

The nurse took another look at their expressions, then smiled again and quite wisely made for the door. “I’ll, uh, see you two aren’t disturbed,” she stated delicately on her way out.

Cal just stood there, looking as if he felt as shut out of Ashley’s life as she often did of his. Guilt flooded her. As usual, it seemed she was going to be damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. If she declined this job, her parents and Dr. Connelly, her mentor here, and everyone else she worked with was going to be disappointed in her. And Cal wouldn’t be pleased with her no matter what she did. He expected her to be as successful in her career as he was in his, yet he didn’t want any work-related demands interfering with their time together. Given the fact she was an obstetrician and he a surgeon—both of them prone to be called out at any moment on patient emergencies—that was one tough bill to fill. Aware he was still waiting for an explanation, she said finally, “I was going to tell you.”

Cal studied her, his gray eyes distant. “I take it this means you haven’t turned the position down yet,” he replied.

Ashley shrugged, wishing she were clad in something other than blue cotton scrubs and tennis shoes. Maybe if she were dressed like Cal—in sophisticated street clothes—she’d feel more confident. Feeling errant strands escaping down the back of her neck and brushing the sides of her face, Ashley released the butterfly clip that held her hair. She straightened the strands with her fingers, twisted them into a loop and put her hair back up. “I just found out about it last week.”

“Your coworkers know about it.”

Ashley knew he expected first dibs on news like that. And she would have told him, if she’d had any other job offers to go along with it. But she hadn’t because she’d been so busy finishing up her fellowship that she hadn’t even had time to really start looking for a permanent position. This one had just fallen into her lap. When she had talked to Cal, she had wanted to have more options to present. So he wouldn’t be as disappointed in her as her parents were likely to be to find her lax in her search for employment after all those years of expensive education and training. Cal had had about six job offers waiting his decision when he finished his residency. But then he had devoted the entire first five months of their marriage to making sure that was the case. Whereas she had reserved her precious few days off to spend with Cal, instead of searching for a position.

“Some of the staff just happened to be here when I got the phone call from Maui about the offer,” Ashley explained.

A mixture of anger and disappointment flashed briefly in his eyes. “Phones work on the mainland, too,” he muttered.

His displeasure cut right through her worse than anyone else’s ever had. “I thought it was something we should discuss in person,” she said, her voice trembling with emotion.

He regarded her with mounting dismay. “You can’t seriously be considering taking it.”

“Actually,” Ashley hesitated, “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet.”

Cal nodded and said nothing else.

Realizing he didn’t want to have this conversation in a communal staff lounge any more than she did, Ashley continued getting ready to leave.

After Cal helped her gather up the rest of the things, she said her goodbyes to the staff, and they drove back to her apartment.

Located in a high rise that overlooked Waikiki beach, the furnished efficiency was as sparely decorated as it had been the day Ashley had moved in two-and-a-half years ago.

Cal had only been at her apartment a handful of times, and Ashley had been there mainly to shower and sleep. The majority of her time had been spent at the teaching hospital and various clinics served by it around the island.

There was a stack of collapsed moving boxes for her clothes and books shoved along one wall. A pile of mail on the coffee table. The large square room and bath normally felt cold and empty to Ashley. Tonight, with Cal here, it felt suffocating. Almost too small for comfort.

“Aren’t you going to ask me anything else about the job I’ve been offered?” Ashley said, wishing Cal would open up to her more instead of always keeping everything inside. Except, of course, when it came to his desire for her. He was very open about expressing that. As was she, she admitted reluctantly to herself.

“Actually—” Cal set down his small duffel bag “—first, I’d like to go for a swim. We can get into all that over dinner?”

Ashley swallowed. If they were going to fight, she just wanted to do it already. “But—”

He cut her off with a derisive look. “If there’s bad news coming, I think I’d rather wait until later to hear it, if you don’t mind.”

The decision made—as far as he was concerned anyway—Cal methodically emptied his pockets. No sooner had he unclipped the cell phone from his belt than it began to ring. He glanced at the caller ID and tossed the phone to Ashley. “See what Mac wants, would you?”

Cal grabbed his swim trunks from his overnight bag and disappeared into the bathroom. Ashley was left holding the still-buzzing phone. By the time she figured out how to use the unfamiliar keypad, the call went over to message. She waited for it to finish and then retrieved it, using Cal’s password.

“Well?” Cal said. Emerging from the bathroom, he tossed his shirt and slacks onto the back of the sofa. “What did Mac want?”

Despite her quickly mounting irritation from the message she’d listened to, Ashley couldn’t resist admiring his tanned, muscular physique. “Actually, the message was from all four of your brothers and your brother-in-law.” Defiantly, she kept her gaze from wandering below the waist of his loose-fitting tropic-print swim trunks.

Cal tensed, but his expression did not change. Hence, Ashley couldn’t tell if he had been expecting this “fun-filled call” from his brothers or not.

“Go on,” Cal demanded.

With pleasure, Ashley thought, as she caught her husband’s gaze and held on for all she was worth. “Mac reminded you that ‘a woman appreciates strength in a man.’

“Fletcher said, ‘There’s nothing more seductive than making someone laugh.’” Hah! As if Cal had ever needed help getting her into his arms and his bed!

“Dylan said, ‘When it comes to women, patience is a virtue that is highly overrated.’” Since when had Cal waited for anything he wanted from her? It was more his style to conquer first and ask questions later.

“Joe suggested you think ‘offense’ this time around.” Offense for what? Ashley wondered. Their marriage? That made it sound like a game!

“And Thad suggested that ‘you not forget to listen.’” Which was, Ashley considered, actually something Cal needed to do more of.

Her diatribe over, Ashley tossed the phone back to Cal. “So,” she fumed. “Do you want to tell me what that is all about? Or should I just guess?”

Chapter Two

“They’re just clowning around,” Cal said lamely, as he opened the sliding-glass doors to her balcony and stepped through them.

“And that’s it?” Ashley prodded warily, joining him on the lanai.

Here was his chance to tell her his whole family was worried about them. Ready to step in and help, if need be. But sensing she would not take this news well—Ashley had never really gotten how close the Harts were, or how much they depended on each other for moral and emotional support—Cal simply said, “The consensus is we’ve spent so much time apart in the three years since we said our ‘I do’s,’ that we’re still newlyweds.”

“And in other ways,” Ashley sighed, turning her glance to the blue ocean and shimmering white sand dotted with palm trees, “sometimes it seems like we’re hardly married at all.”

Precisely the problem, in Cal’s estimation. “That will all change once we’re living in the same house in the same city again,” Cal told Ashley confidently. He studied her carefully as the warm tropical breeze fanned across them. “That is still the plan, isn’t it?”

Ashley hesitated, much to Cal’s dismay.

Resentment roiled in his gut. “You can’t seriously be thinking about taking the position!”

To his increasing disappointment, Ashley made a palms-up gesture that reflected her uncertainty. “It’s a dream job, Cal. Something I would feel lucky to be offered even ten years down the road. To get the opportunity now is a real coup. One that would make my parents proud. And you, too, I would think.” Her voice trembled, despite her strong resolve. “After all, didn’t I support you when you landed a position that would allow you to treat members of the Carolina Storm professional hockey team and a lot of the premiere college athletes in the area?”

Cal turned his glare to the beautiful blue horizon. “I never said you didn’t support my dreams to be the best sports medicine specialist and orthopedic surgeon around.”

“Good.” Ashley waited until he turned back to her, then tossed her head. His breath caught at the image of her dark hair falling like silk around her shoulders. “Because I have, Cal.”

“But what about us?” Cal demanded, hating the need radiating in his low voice. He tried so hard not to be selfish.

Hope shone in her china-blue eyes. “You could move here in eighteen months, when your contract with the medical center in Holly Springs is up. There are plenty of athletes in Hawaii, and on the West Coast, who would be lucky to have a physician of your expertise.”

Cal knew she was avoiding the point. “Your coming to Hawaii was supposed to be a temporary measure,” he reminded her coolly. A move made more out of necessity than choice.

Abruptly, Ashley stilled. She looked wary—as if she were afraid to commit herself too fully to him and their marriage again. As if she wanted them to continue the long-distance charade of a marriage. “Things change, Cal,” she told him softly.

And not always for the better, Cal thought.

He had never understood why Ashley had withdrawn emotionally from him in the first six months of their marriage. True, it had been a hellishly bad spring and summer. The fellowship program Ashley had been enrolled in had abruptly lost its director and its funding. She’d had to scramble to find a place that could take her as a second-year fellowship student, while he was studying for the medical boards that he had to pass in order to practice orthopedic and sports medicine. A physician in training herself, Ashley should have understood the kind of pressure he was under. She’d certainly said she did. But that whole summer, she’d been on an emotional roller coaster—crying one minute, too quiet the next. First overeating to the point she had gained weight, then barely eating at all.

He’d known she was in a crisis brought on by the potential interruption of her education. But overwhelmed by his own mountain of studying, he realized in retrospect that he hadn’t been there for her or helped her as much as he should have. By the time he had completed his testing, she had already secured another fellowship and left for Hawaii.

Cal had tried to make up for his earlier lack of understanding and support by being as enthusiastic as possible about the stellar opportunity Ashley had secured for herself. But, by then, the damage had already been done. At least emotionally. They had continued to make love, as if nothing were wrong. In fact, a lot of their interludes were even more physically passionate than ever before. But when it came time for them to bare their souls… Well, that just didn’t happen. It had been as if a wall were between them—and it had gotten wider with every month that passed. A wall that was impenetrable even now.

“There was no way I could have anticipated being offered the position of Director of the Maui Birthing Center.” Ashley sat down in one of the striped vinyl chairs on the lanai and propped her feet up on the rail.

Cal dropped down into the chair next to hers. “How long do you have to decide?” he asked, wishing he could be more charitable. But he couldn’t. His patience with this long-distance marriage of theirs was at an end.

“A month.”

Ashley fanned her hand in front of her face, as if that would dispel the heat of the late-afternoon sun that pinkened her cheeks and added perspiration to her forehead. “Of course they’d like my answer sooner.”

Cal watched her pull the fabric of her cotton top away from her breasts. “Of course.” Why couldn’t you just say no? Cal wondered. Why are you even considering this? Unless his gut fear was right, and she really did not want to be married to him after all.

“Look, I know how little time off you have,” Ashley said sympathetically.

Figuring he wasn’t going to like this either, Cal tensed. “So?”

Ashley swallowed and brought her feet down off the pastel green metal railing and stood. “We need to be practical here. There’s no reason for you to stay while I’m job-hunting and getting ready to move out of this apartment.”

Cal bet she wanted him out of the way. But his time for being the understanding husband, with no demands of his own, was over. He grimaced, knowing he hadn’t needed his brother’s advice to react in a take-no-excuses manner now. He’d had it up to here with the separations and it was time his wife knew it! “I’m not leaving, Ashley.”

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

He stood and faced her, legs planted apart, hands braced on his waist. “I’m not going back home without you. Not this time. Nor do I plan to let you make a decision about your professional future without considering the impact that decision will have on our marriage.”

“What has gotten into you?” Ashley demanded.

Two and a half years ago, Cal had pushed her to be all she could be. Insisting—just as her parents had—that Ashley take the fellowship slot in Honolulu, rather than face a one-year interruption in her medical education. It hadn’t seemed to matter to any of them that she hadn’t really wanted to go all the way to Hawaii or be apart from her husband of just five months. The opportunity in Hawaii was worth the sacrifice, or so everyone had told her.

She’d let herself be convinced of that, because she had truly needed time apart from Cal to deal with her own mistakes. Mistakes that Cal and her parents still knew nothing about. And she hoped guiltily, they never would.

Oblivious to her own inner angst, Cal impatiently answered her question. “Let’s just say I’ve finally come to my senses. Living apart for two-and-a-half years is much too long. I’m your husband. You’re my wife. Enough of the long-distance marriage, Ash. We need to be together.”

If only he had said this to her back then, Ashley thought sadly. She wasn’t sure she could trust his sudden devotion to her now. She didn’t want to start counting on something that would, in the end, only be snatched away from her by circumstances yet again. Right now they had a commuter marriage that was working, despite the occasional glitch. At least to the point that he still wanted her when they were together. That wouldn’t necessarily be the case if they were together day in and day out and she ended up letting him down.

Ashley was afraid that if she returned to Holly Springs, it could be the end of her marriage. After all, what if the members of the Hart clan passed judgment on their less-than-perfect union and it pushed Cal even further away? Right now, she would rather have “half a marriage” than none at all.

“And if I go to Maui tomorrow?” She posed the question to him casually, as if her entire well-being weren’t riding on his reply.

Cal gestured, as if the answer to that were a no-brainer. “Then I guess I’ll go to Maui with you.”

Now he definitely was not making sense. Nor was she sure she quite believed him. “What about your family and your patients back in North Carolina?” Ashley asked bluntly.

For the first time, there was a hint of conflict on Cal’s face, reminding Ashley how tied he was to his hometown.

Cal shrugged, still refusing to back down. He walked through the sliding-glass doors and into the apartment. “I guess they’ll all have to get along without me,” he drawled.

Right on cue, her deeply ingrained sense of responsibility reared its ugly head. She couldn’t be responsible for Cal shirking his duty, and he knew that. Ashley followed him, then folded her arms in front of her and glared at him. For once she wished she weren’t so inherently responsible. “This isn’t funny, Cal.” She pushed the words through her teeth.

Still clad in nothing but swim trunks, he sank down on the mattress and made himself comfortable on the pillows of her bed, folding his arms behind his head, as if he slept there with her every night. He narrowed his eyes at her and replied, “It isn’t supposed to be.”

Ashley glided closer, being careful to stay out of easy reach. “You can’t just stop working in Holly Springs on a whim!” She planted both her hands on her hips.

Cal’s inherently sexy smile widened. “Want to bet?” he tossed right back.

Heat flooded Ashley’s face as her glance moved over his sinewy chest, broad shoulders and long, muscled limbs. With difficulty, she forced her attention back to the matter at hand. “You’ll get fired from the medical center or sued for breach of contract by the state if you pull a stunt like that,” she warned. He wasn’t serious. He couldn’t be. And yet…he looked as if he was fully ready to do just that!

“Change into your swimsuit and we’ll go for a swim, Ash.”

She stared at him. Their discussion had apparently come to an end as far as he was concerned.

He patted the mattress. “Okay, if you don’t want to take a swim, then come to bed with me.”

Ignoring the sexy command, she looked right back at him. “In your dreams,” she retorted.

NOW IT WAS Cal’s turn to be stunned. No matter how rocky their relationship got at times, Ashley had never refused to make love. “All right.” He got up lazily, closing the distance between them. He was determined to feel close to her in whatever way he could. “I’ll come to you, then.”

“This isn’t going to work, Cal,” Ashley murmured as he took her into his arms and kissed her neck. Ashley splayed her hands across his chest and pushed him away. “Every time we find ourselves alone we end up doing this!”

Cal drank in the intoxicating fragrance of her hair and skin, then drew back to savor the sight of her. With her heart-shaped face, long-lashed china-blue eyes, high sculpted cheekbones and slender nose, she was just as beautiful now as she had been the day they had met, nearly ten years ago. Her thick, glossy dark-brown hair was still shoulder-length, although she now wore it in a sexy, layered style, and her skin had retained its radiant golden glow. The only change, it seemed, was her weight. There was a new voluptuousness to her breasts, a slight thickening of her waist and hips, that hadn’t been there the last time he had been with her. He was glad to see she had put a little weight on her tall, willowy body. Last fall and summer she had been almost too thin.

“We are married,” Cal reminded her, stepping back enough to take in her long curvaceous legs.

Ashley reached for a brush on her bureau and ran it through her hair. “We make love so much when we do see each other it feels like we’re having an affair!” She rummaged through her bureau and brought out a turquoise tankini.

Cal leaned against the wall and folded his arms against his chest. “I can think of worse things than trysting with my wife.”

Ashley disappeared into the bathroom with her swimsuit. “Making love right now won’t solve anything,” she called through the door.

“Neither will you not coming home where you belong.” Cal waited until she emerged in the demure swimsuit. The sight of her breasts pushing against the confines of the top confirmed his observation that she had gained weight.

With effort, he turned his glance away from the swelling curves. He paused as their glances met in a firestorm of emotion once again. “You want to work things out with me, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” she said hotly. She didn’t know why her husband even had to ask that! The problem was she was scared that if they tried Cal would discover what she already knew in her heart—that this marriage of theirs was a sham.

“Then,” Cal continued, moving away from the wall. He sauntered toward her, all insouciant charm. “I expect you to do the practical thing and take the next month to figure out what you want and where you want to live. And do it while spending time with me.”

As he neared her, Ashley felt as if she was being backed into a corner and she hated that as much as she hated being instructed what to do or feel or think. “How do you know I haven’t already made up my mind?” she challenged.

The corners of his lips turned up smugly. “Have you?”

“Well, no, I haven’t had time.”

A mixture of affection and promise gleamed in his gray eyes as he took her in his arms once again. “Come home with me and you’ll have all the time in the world.”

Ashley didn’t like feeling trapped. When Cal behaved this way, he reminded her of her youth, of growing up with parents who had everything all plotted out for her, there had been no time for discussion or dissension. All the decisions regarding Ashley’s life had already been made for her. Telling her parents that what they wanted was not necessarily what she wanted had been futile. They had argued and pushed and prodded until it had been easier just to give in and go along. Her cooperation had made them happy. But it had made her miserable.

Cal didn’t seem to realize it, but his relentless expectations had often left her feeling just as hemmed in. The only difference was Cal had not pushed to rule every situation they encountered in their marriage. He had allowed her to do what she wanted, when she wanted. But that freedom had not come without a price. She had seen the disappointment in his eyes when she failed to live up to his dreams of what his wife and lover—and the potential mother of his children—should be. She had felt his hurt, and known she was responsible. And that had been worse to her in many ways than the distress she had caused her parents when she had thwarted their expectations of her.

So Ashley had done the only thing she could to preserve her marriage—she’d put enough distance between them to prevent such clashes on a daily basis. Her hope had been that “absence” would make their hearts grow fonder…and strengthen their relationship.

Only it hadn’t worked out that way; they’d become even more emotionally distant than before.

Cal pulled her closer. “We can’t keep running from each other,” Cal said quietly as the warmth of his tall strong body penetrated hers. He threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of her neck and tilted her face up to his. “We have to figure out a way to make this marriage of ours work on an everyday basis.”

Fear mixed with desire. “And what if it doesn’t?” The whispered words were out before Ashley could stop them.

Cal’s expression hardened. He took his hand away from her hair, let it fall back to her waist. “We’ll never know until we try.”

She couldn’t deny the truth of his words.

“It’s time we stepped up and confronted the problems that have been dogging us since the moment we said our vows.”

“All right.” Ashley moved away from Cal. “But we do it on my terms.”

He lifted a brow. “Which are?”

“No sex.” Ashley bartered the condition she had been thinking about for quite a while.

He blinked in surprise. “Excuse me?”

Ashley held up a cautioning palm. “I mean it, Cal. Sex between the two of us is great, but it never fails to derail us when we are trying to work out a problem. We end up making love and not talking about whatever it is that needs to be dealt with in the first place. So, if I come back with you to North Carolina while I job hunt, then we can’t make love.”

As Ashley had expected, her husband had to think about that. Hard. Which confirmed all of Ashley’s worst fears—that without the sex they really had nothing to hold them together. Nothing that would keep their marriage going for the next fifty years.

A wealth of emotions flickered in Cal’s eyes. Finally, to Ashley’s relief, he assented. “But I have a few conditions of my own,” Cal said firmly as Ashley found her beach sandals and sat down on the sofa to slip them on.

“One, you live with me under the same roof the entire time you are in Holly Springs. And two, you stay until our third wedding anniversary on Valentine’s Day and celebrate the occasion with me. You can have your own bedroom—either the master suite or the guest room,” he offered expansively. “Your choice.”

Ashley stared up at him, her hands braced on either side of her. “That’s a whole month, Cal.”

Nodding, he held out his palm and helped her to her feet. “Which ought to be long enough to figure out where we go from here.”

Chapter Three

“You’ve really done a lot to the place,” Ashley remarked late the following morning. Despite her wool coat, she shivered a little from the brisk winter air. They had taken the red-eye back to Carolina. And now, some twelve hours later, they were back at the farmhouse he had purchased during the first year she had been in Honolulu. “It was in pretty rough shape the last time I saw it.”

“That’s right,” Cal recalled. “You’ve only seen the place once.” He set their suitcases down in the front hall and went to adjust the downstairs thermostat that had been lowered in his absence.

Ashley felt the chill seep from her bones. “You’ve obviously worked hard on it. I’m impressed.”

The two-story farmhouse had been painted a sunny yellow on the outside. The pine-green shutters and door coordinated nicely with the new slate-gray roof. Inside, the hardwood floors had all been redone. The walls were painted a creamy sand that went well with the white crown moldings and trim. She couldn’t help noticing, however, that the parlor and formal dining room at the very front of the house were empty and the walls bare.

“I thought you might like to help me decorate these rooms,” Cal told her casually. “So I haven’t done anything with them.” Looking happy to have her there again at long last, he took her hand and led her back toward the rear of the house.

He continued to show her around proudly. The country kitchen had all new glass-front maple cabinets and marble counters and was painted a soothing shade of taupe that blended well with both. The color continued into the laundry room at the rear of the house, as well as into the tastefully decorated family room that overlooked the fruit orchards edging the backyard. A big stone fireplace was the focal point of the room. The mantel was lined with photos of Ashley and Cal. Formal engagement and wedding day portraits, as well as casual snapshots of them with family and friends from happier times. Before things got so complicated, Ashley thought wistfully.

Cal moved to the entertainment cabinet and showed her where the remotes for the wide-screen TV, stereo and DVD player were kept. “There’s no cable out here—so we’ve got satellite. I’ll show you how to use it whenever you want.”

“Later would be fine,” Ashley said, wondering at the formality that had risen up between them now that they were physically together again. When had things become so awkward between them they didn’t even know how to be in the same house together? she fretted miserably. A house they co-owned as husband and wife.

“Want to see the upstairs?” Cal asked, continuing to play the perfect host.

“Sure.” Ashley nodded agreeably. “And then I’m really going to have to crash.” She was so fatigued from the flight back, she was nearly light-headed. She turned and looked at the dark circles beneath his eyes that hadn’t been there sixteen hours previously. “You must be beat, too.” He had flown to Hawaii, and then hours later, turned right around and flown back to North Carolina.

“I am,” Cal admitted, stifling a yawn. Logging nearly twenty-four hours travel time in a thirty-two-hour period was finally catching up with him.

He led her past the hall bathroom, which looked as if it had been outfitted for guests and was rarely used, and two empty bedrooms. A guest room was next. It had the cozy brass bed they had used the first five months of their marriage and an antique bureau with a mirror that conjured up a lot of memories for Ashley that she wasn’t sure she was ready to remember yet.

Next was the master bedroom. A brand new king-size sleigh bed with matching cherry nightstands and antique brass lamps took up most of the space. Two separate walk-in closets had been built. And where the fifth bedroom and bath had been was a brand-new master bathroom.

Ashley gaped at the changes. There were dual pedestal sinks, a sit-down vanity, a separate water closet for the commode, and a whirlpool tub beneath a bay window of privacy glass. But it was the shower that commanded her attention. Pale-green marble covered the floor, walls and ceiling of the six-by-eight-foot space. A high window at one end let in plenty of sunlight, and a long green marble bench was situated beneath it. There were two showerheads—a handheld and an overhead—and the glass shower door stretched all the way to the ceiling.

“This doubles as a sauna,” Cal boasted, showing her where the controls for that were.

“Wow,” Ashley said. She had never seen anything quite so luxurious.

Cal’s gaze drifted over her appreciatively. “The sauna can feel pretty good after a long day or night at the hospital.”

As would their lovemaking, the implication seemed to be. Ashley swallowed, pushing away the flutter of desire deep inside her. She had promised herself she would not let passionate sex distract them from the work they needed to do on their relationship. She would keep that vow.

Cal frowned, apparently registering the sudden drop in temperature between them. “Anyway, I know I promised you separate accommodations,” he said gallantly ushering her back out into the hall.

And it was good they’d made that agreement, Ashley thought. Otherwise she would have been tempted just to say the heck with caution and fall into bed with her husband once again.

He gave her a hot, assessing look. “So unless you’ve changed your mind…”

“I haven’t,” Ashley said, pretending her thoughts weren’t traveling down the same ardent path as his.

To Cal’s credit, if he was disappointed by her careful outward demeanor, he did not show it. He paused to turn the upstairs thermostat higher. “I’ll take the guest room then,” he said mildly.

“You don’t have to do that,” Ashley said, knowing that she’d be more comfortable in the bed she had used before than in anything that had been exclusively his.

He looked at her a long moment, the faint hint of disappointment radiating in his pewter-gray eyes. “I’ll carry your suitcase up then,” he said quietly. And that was that.

THE PHONE RANG AT 6:00 P.M. Cal reached for it with a groan, and dutifully talked to his mother on the other end of the line. By the time he hung up two minutes later, he found Ashley standing in the doorway of the master bedroom. Tousled and adorable, she looked as disoriented as he felt after only a couple of hours sleep.

“Everything okay?” she murmured.

Damn, she looked sexy in a thigh-length cotton nightshirt and bare legs, Cal thought as he struggled to shake off his jet lag and sit all the way up against the headboard. Since she had obviously gone right from the shower into bed, her dark hair had dried in thick unruly waves.

“Who was that?” Ashley stifled a yawn with the back of her hand as she padded closer.

Knowing they would both adjust to the change in time zone if they stayed up the rest of the evening and went to bed at the normal time, Cal rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “My mother wants us to come for dinner. I told her I wasn’t sure you’d feel up to it. She said, if not, she’d send something over.”

“Is the whole family going to be there?” Ashley asked, with the hesitation she always evidenced when confronted with all five of his siblings. And now, thanks to a recent round of satisfying romances, four of them had spouses, too.

Cal shrugged. He didn’t want to make things any more awkward than they already were between him and Ashley. “We can always see everyone later,” he told her.

Looking as sleepy and out of it as he felt, Ashley perched on the end of the bed and tucked one hand around the sleigh-shaped footboard. “I know everyone wants to see me.”

An understatement if there ever was one, Cal thought. Particularly since his whole family had decided to help “fix” his marriage, unless he managed to do it first.

“So we might as well go this evening,” Ashley continued practically. “If you feel up to it.”

Cal figured it had to be better than staying here alone with Ashley, wanting to make love to her when he had promised to abstain. At least for the time being. He was still hoping she would change her mind about that and realize making love to each other always brought them closer. And now, more than ever, with so many important things ahead of them to decide, they needed to be closer. “We can make it a quick visit,” he said. He didn’t want to stay long lest his brothers decided to get into the advice-giving business again.

Ashley nodded her assent. “Just give me a few minutes to get dressed.”

Forty minutes later, Cal was still waiting for Ashley. When she finally came downstairs she was wearing a jewel-necked, long-sleeved black knit dress that she usually reserved for cocktail parties.

“I thought you were wearing slacks,” he said with a frown, wondering if he should go upstairs and change out of his jeans and corduroy shirt into something more formal, too.

“I was. Or I tried.”

He looked at her, not understanding.

“I guess I’ve gained a little weight over the holidays,” she said, her cheeks flushing bright pink. “I didn’t think I’d had that many Christmas cookies, but…suddenly none of the pants I brought with me want to zip. So it’s either this or another dress or the sweats I wore on the plane—and those need a run through the washer first.” Cheeks flushing all the more, she swept past him. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

“I’m not. You look great.” The black knit fabric clung to her newly voluptuous curves, and the swirling skirt and high heels made the most of her sexy legs. She’d left her hair down, and it looked as wild and untamed as he knew her to be in her most unguarded moments.

Cal paused to remove her winter coat from the hall closet. “Would it make you feel less self-conscious if I went up and changed?” He knew everyone in his family would probably be wearing jeans, too, but he could put on a sport coat and tie.

“No. It’s fine, really.” Ashley waved off his concern. She slipped on the long black wool coat and looped a cashmere scarf around her neck. “I’m just going to have to get back to exercising on a regular basis again.”

Cal held the door for Ashley. “Well don’t lose any weight on my account,” he said. He let his eyes travel over her appreciatively. “I think you look amazing. I mean it, Ashley,” he continued when she scoffed. “Any extra ounces you have put on are definitely in all the right places.”

“And those would be…?” Ashley prodded dryly as he unlocked the passenger door on his SUV and helped her inside.

In answer, Cal grinned and let his gaze touch her breasts, waist and hips.

She blushed again.

“You’re perfect,” Cal repeated. Wishing—just once—she would believe it. “And I like the glow on your face, too,” he added softly. He touched her cheek with the back of his hand.

Ashley wrinkled her nose, and shook her head. “I’m going to pretend I agree with you…just so we don’t have to talk about my embarrassing predicament anymore. It’s probably what I get for living in scrubs and lab coats, anyway. All those loose-fitting tops and elastic waistbands…I’ll be more careful in the future. Just do me a favor and don’t mention my wardrobe crisis to your sibs? I’m embarrassed enough already.”

“DON’T YOU LOOK WONDERFUL!” Helen Hart told Ashley when she and Cal walked in to her home behind the Wedding Inn, the palatial three-story white brick inn Cal’s mother had turned into the premiere wedding facility in North Carolina. As always, Ashley noted admiringly, Helen’s short red hair was perfectly coiffed, her amber eyes as warm as they were astute. Ashley’s mother-in-law favored clothes that were classic, not trendy. Tonight she was clad in a cream wool turtleneck sweater and gray slacks perfect for an evening with family.

“You think we look good now, wait until we get some more sleep!” Cal winked at his mom as he helped Ashley off with her coat and went to hang it up.

Ashley returned Helen’s hug warmly. Although her husband’s siblings could sometimes leave her feeling overwhelmed, she adored Cal’s mom. Maybe because the openly loving, family-oriented woman was everything her own mother wasn’t. Helen Hart loved and accepted her kids, no matter what. She did not demand they succeed at all cost. She simply wanted them to be good, kind, loving people. Which wasn’t to say Helen was a pushover. If the fifty-six-year-old Helen saw one of her brood making a mistake that could hurt someone else, she was always quick to intervene and make sure that the situation was corrected. But she also gave them plenty of room to live their own lives. And as a result of that, her six adult children were a very tight-knit group. The death of Cal’s father twenty years ago had made them even more so. They understood the value of family. And they loved each other dearly. So dearly that even after ten years of being Cal’s one and only, Ashley sometimes still felt like an outsider looking in.

Oblivious to Ashley’s anxiety over the evening ahead, Helen linked arms with Ashley and led her toward the Great Room at the rear of the house, where everyone gathered. “If we’d had more notice, I would’ve invited your parents to be with us this evening, too,” Helen noted cheerfully. “They must be very anxious to see you, too!”

Were they? Ashley wondered.

“When are you and Cal going to visit them?” Helen paused in the kitchen to check the big pot of spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove.

“I’m not sure,” Ashley hedged, watching Helen put water on to boil.

“But they do know you’re back in Carolina?” Helen ascertained, concern lighting her eyes.

Ashley nodded. “I e-mailed them my plans before I left Honolulu.” And hadn’t yet checked to see if there had been a response, largely because she hadn’t felt ready to face the constant pressure to achieve that her parents were likely to exert on her when they did see her.

Aware this was a touchy subject with Ashley, Cal motioned them all to the family room, where the rest of Hart clan was gathered around the television, watching two NHL teams do battle on the ice in Montreal. Had the Carolina Storm professional hockey team been playing that evening, three of the men in the family would have been absent. Janey’s husband, Thad, because he was the coach. Dylan, because he was a game announcer, and Joe, because he was one of the hockey players. But since the team had the day off, and the next game was at home, they were all there. As was Janey’s twelve-year-old son Christopher—who was petting Lily and Fletcher’s recently adopted yellow Labrador retriever, Spartacus. Mac and the newest members of the Hart clan—Joe’s wife, Emma, Dylan’s wife, Hannah, and Fletcher’s wife, Lily—were gathered around, too.

A happier bunch couldn’t have been found, Ashley noted, accepting hugs and warm hellos from one and all. And it was then the trouble she’d been anticipating began.

“SOMETHING WRONG?” Janey asked two hours later as the two of them carried the containers holding leftovers out to the spare refrigerator in Helen’s garage.

Besides the fact that everyone there seemed to be keeping a careful eye on everything she and Cal did and said? Ashley wondered.

Ashley figured if anyone understood the five Hart brothers it was their only sister, Janey. “What do you know about the advice the guys have been giving Cal about me?” Ashley asked, opening the fridge. She was willing to bet whatever had prompted the phone message Cal had received in Hawaii was still going on among the men. Sly looks, approving nods, the occasional slap on the shoulder, one brother to another, had been going on all night.

Abruptly, Janey looked like a kid who’d been caught with knowledge she had no business having.

Ashley held up a palm. “I heard it all, Janey. I just want to know what prompted the onslaught of friendly guidance in the first place.” Cal was the most private of the Hart brothers. Definitely the least likely to seek advice regarding his marriage.

Janey slid her containers into the spare fridge, then knelt to make room for Ashley’s. “They were just worried about you two.” Janey kept her head down. “We all were.” Even more quietly she said, “Cal’s been so lonely while you were away.”

This was news. Ashley’s heartbeat picked up and anxiety ran through her anew. “Was he complaining to the rest of you?” If so, she wasn’t sure how that made her feel! Not good, certainly.

“No, of course not.” Finished, Janey straightened. “Cal never complains. You know that.” Janey paused to look at Ashley seriously. “But even though he shrugged it off, we all knew he was pretty miserable whenever he wasn’t busy working.”

Then why hadn’t Cal said something? Ashley wondered, hurt and dismayed, instead of acting as if the weeks and months apart were just something to be endured.

“HEY, YOU’RE NOT still upset about the clothes-not-fitting thing, are you?” Cal asked as they turned into the driveway of the farmhouse. He stopped in front of the two-car garage and hit the automatic door button.

“That’s the least of my worries,” Ashley muttered as she watched the door lift.

Cal steered his SUV into the garage. He frowned as he cut the motor and depressed the remote control. “Did someone say something to you tonight?”

Ashley got out of the Jeep, aware the jet lag she had felt earlier had vanished in the face of her anger and disappointment. She watched his face as she waited for him to join her at the door to the softly lit interior of the house, wishing he weren’t so darned handsome and appealing. It would make it so much easier to stay angry with him. “Did you expect them to?”

Cal unlocked the door and held it open for her, turning sideways to let her pass. Their bodies brushed lightly, igniting her senses even more. “I know my family can be a bit overwhelming, all at once.”

Ashley put her purse on the kitchen counter and pivoted to face him. She had to tilt her head back to see into his penetrating gray eyes. “Tell me something, Cal. Whose idea was it for you to come to Hawaii early and surprise me?”

The guilt she had hoped desperately not to see flashed across his face. His fingers tightened on the keys in his hand. “You heard about the Hart posse coming to see me,” he surmised grimly.

She had now. Wondering just how deep his family’s interference in their marriage went, Ashley folded her arms in front of her. “I’d like to hear it from you,” she retorted, just as quietly.

Cal shrugged as if the incident were so insignificant it had barely registered on his radar screen. “It was suggested to me that I might want to do a better job of taking charge of our…situation…and bring you home.”

Her spirits deflated even more. “So that’s the only reason,” Ashley presumed, the knowledge blindsiding her.

Cal clamped his hands on her shoulders, preventing her from running away. “No,” he corrected with exaggerated patience. “I flew to Hawaii because you’re my wife, and I’m your husband. And I thought you could use some help packing up your belongings, shutting off utilities and turning over your apartment.”

How…romantic. Ashley struggled to contain her zigzagging emotions, even as she wondered when the last time Cal had said he loved her had been. Six months ago? A year? Longer? With effort, she kept the too-casual smile on her face. “Be honest with me, Cal. Would you have come and gotten me if your family hadn’t intervened?” she demanded.

Cal released her as suddenly as if she had burned him. He leaned against the opposite counter and watched her in that strong, silent, aloof way of his. “Originally, I was planning to let you come home on your own timetable,” he said eventually.

“And then you changed your mind,” Ashley ascertained, aware neither of them had yet taken off their winter coats, and yet she still felt chilled to the bone in the cozy warmth of the farmhouse.

Cal gestured off-handedly, not about to apologize for what he had or had not said or done. “Look, I didn’t ask for their interference, but what they were intimating made sense.”

Feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes, Ashley turned away from him. She didn’t know what it was about her lately—maybe it was the wealth of life-determining decisions ahead of her, or her continuing emotional distance from Cal—but she was so much moodier than usual!

“Where are you going?” Cal demanded in a low, gruff voice when she headed for the hall that ran the length of the house.

Ashley shrugged as she removed her black wool coat. “Does it matter?”

“Hell yes, it matters.” In three long steps, Cal had overtaken her. He shackled her wrist, stopping her flight. She whirled toward him and they stared at each other in silence. “You don’t believe I had our best interests at heart, do you?” he said quietly.

Achingly aware of the warmth of his fingers lightly encircling her wrist, Ashley drew a deep breath. “I think your family wants us to be together—here in Holly Springs—and you want to please your family.” Just like I want to please mine. She swallowed around the rising lump in her throat. “So it’s only natural—”

Cal’s lips thinned. He shook his head at her disparagingly and tightened his grasp on her wrist. Swearing passionately beneath his breath, he steered her through the house to the door leading to the backyard. “Enough of this baloney!”

Ashley trembled as he struggled with the deadbolt on the door and yanked it open. “What are you doing?”

“Exactly what it looks like!” Cal said as he switched on the backyard lights. He took her out onto the deck, down the steps and onto the lawn. “I’m taking you to the barn!”

Chapter Four

“I don’t know what has gotten into you,” Ashley fumed as Cal charged through the floodlit darkness of the backyard to the barn a hundred yards away.

He gave her a wickedly teasing look. “A little John Wayne perhaps? And for the record,” he wrapped an arm about her waist, tucking her into his side, “it’s long overdue.”

“It is not!” she told him with a determined toss of her head. She dug in her heels, flung off his arm and turned to face him. “And you can not do this!”

He lowered his face until they were nose to nose. “Want to bet?”

Ashley’s heart pounded in her chest. She stabbed a finger at his chest, trying not to notice what a beautifully sculpted body he had. From his broad shoulders and well-muscled chest to his narrow waist and long legs, there wasn’t an inch of him that wasn’t fit and toned to the max. “I mean it, Cal.”

He inclined his head at her, just as stubbornly. “So do I,” he told her in a voice that brooked no dissent. “I don’t care if you like it or not, Mrs. Hart.” He drew in a slow breath and stayed just exactly where he was. “You’re coming with me and you’re coming right now.”

The next thing she knew, he was swinging her up into his arms and striding across the lawn.

“The last time you did this was on our wedding night!” Ashley said breathlessly.

He grinned with customary self-assurance. “You planning to give me one of those?”

Ashley tried not to notice how the skirt of her dress was riding up her thighs, or how his powerful arm felt clamped beneath her hips. “Not tonight I’m not!” She wiggled in an attempt to get free. “Not after this!”

Oblivious to her machinations, he regarded her with a mysterious glint in his eye. “We’ll just see how romantic you’re feeling in a minute,” he murmured huskily. He set her down in front of the double barn doors and opened the latch.

Once used to store farm equipment and fruit from the orchards, the big, red-sided building had been empty the only other time Ashley had been to the farm. She discovered it wasn’t empty now as Cal hit the switch that brought on the overhead lights hanging from the rafters. A lawn tractor, hand mower and edger occupied one corner. But it was what was in the center of the cement-floored space that left her speechless.

“Oh, my…” Ashley stared at the big red heart on the windshield of a red ’64 Mustang convertible in letter-perfect shape, from the pristine retractable white top and fancy silver wheel covers, to the candy-apple-red vinyl interior. It looked like the borrowed vehicle they’d had their very first date in.

Still watching her carefully, he took her gently by the hand, and led her toward the car. “Happy early Valentine’s Day,” he said when they neared. Wrapping both hands around her waist, he brought her close enough to kiss her temple affectionately. “This is for you.”

She stared at him in amazement.

“You bought this for me?”

“For us. Yes.”

“But we’ve never done anything this extravagant for each other for Valentine’s Day!” Ashley protested. Usually, they exchanged cards, and went out to dinner, and that was about it.

“I know.”

“Then why now?” She gazed at him. Was this part of his family’s influence, too? Or all Cal’s idea?

“Because we used to be closer,” Cal told her in a low, sincere voice. Abruptly, all the love he had ever felt for her was in his eyes. “And I know we could be that connected to each other again if we just let ourselves go back to the beginning and start over. And where better to do that than in the car where our courtship began, eleven-and-a-half years ago?”

Ashley had to admit, the Mustang had already generated a lot of good memories in just a few scant minutes.

He regarded her with distinctly male satisfaction. “Want to test drive your new Mustang?”

Her hopes rising about them being able to fix the problems in their marriage after all, she took the keys he handed her. “Absolutely—if you’ll come with me.”

He winked at her cheerfully, suddenly looking like the carefree, charming med student she had fallen in love with years ago. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Cal opened the door for her, and Ashley slid behind the steering wheel. Circling around to the other side, Cal dropped into the passenger seat. Electricity sizzled between them as Ashley recalled how they used to do a little “parking” in this car, too.

“As much as I’d like you to try it with the top down…” Cal said.

Ashley shivered, just thinking about the wintry air blowing over them. “Yeah. I think it’s too cold for that tonight, too.”

“But when warmer weather comes,” Cal predicted, fastening his old-fashioned lap belt, “we’ll have a lot of fun with it.”

It certainly sounded as though he was in this for the long haul, Ashley thought, as she fastened her belt, too. She shook her head, marveling at how accurately Cal had targeted her feelings.

To her delight, the motor started easily and ran with a gentle purr. “I can’t get over how much this looks like the Mustang we started dating in,” Ashley commented as she took it out on the country road and drove it through the moonlit countryside.

Cal draped an arm across the back of the seat. “It doesn’t just look like it, Ashley.” He leaned over and kissed her shoulder. “This is the Car.”

A quick glance his way showed her he wasn’t kidding. Ashley turned onto a road that would take them back in the direction of the farm. Enjoying the quick responsiveness of the motor, and the tight command of the wheel, Ashley asked, “How did you manage that?”

“I talked to Marty—the friend we used to borrow it from—and got the serial number and worked backwards from there,” Cal told her as she slowed the car and turned into the long, narrow driveway.

“Unfortunately, the guy who owned it last summer didn’t want to sell it to anyone because it’s such a collector’s item now,” Cal continued affably. “So Hannah had to help me convince him to part with it. And then she spent the fall putting on a new coat of paint and making sure it ran like a dream.”

Ashley guided the car back into the barn and cut the motor. “You were working on this all the way back then?” she asked in amazement. He’d never said a thing!

Shrugging, he released the catch on his safety belt. “I wanted you to have a spectacular coming-home present.”

Spectacular was the word for it, all right. Ashley couldn’t think of a better, more meaningful gift he could have given her. Except the gift he had unknowingly given her and she’d lost, before. The gift he still knew nothing about.

Ashley paused, aware yet again how much she loved Cal. More than anything, she wanted to be close to him again.

Maybe it was time she stopped guarding her heart. Instead, she could concentrate on tearing down the walls between them and building a better foundation for their marriage. Heaven knew this was a remarkable start. Just knowing he, too, wanted things to be better between them made all the difference. For the first time in months, she was optimistic about their future together. Optimistic that it wouldn’t be just great sex and their love of medicine holding them together…

She wreathed her arms about his neck and leaned over to kiss him. “This is without a doubt the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me.”

His lips moved warmly on hers. To her relief…and disappointment, he didn’t try to take the caress further. “I’m glad you like it,” he whispered, holding her close as she snuggled against him.

“I more than like it, Cal. I love it.” Ashley splayed her hands across the solidness of his chest. As she looked at him, her heart felt lighter than it had in ages. “But you know what this means, don’t you?”

Cal shook his head, still holding her eyes with all the tenderness she had ever wanted to see.

“I still owe you a Valentine’s Day present. And it’s going to have to be a whopper to live up to the gift you’ve given me.”

“Ah, Ashley, don’t you understand?” Cal chided her gently, pulling her close yet again for another long, soulful kiss that ended much too soon. He threaded a hand through her hair. “Just coming home with me and spending the month with me in Carolina is present enough.”

THE NEXT MORNING, Cal woke at his usual time of 6:00 a.m. Congratulating himself for going against his baser instincts to seduce Ashley back into his bed the night before, he rose and headed downstairs to put on the coffee. And then waited. And waited. And waited.

When Ashley still hadn’t stirred five and a half hours later, he went up to check on her. She was curled up on her side, sleeping soundly, one hand tucked beneath her pillow. Knowing she’d never get on Eastern Standard Time unless she made an effort to adapt to the five-hour time difference, he opened the drapes and let the January sunshine pour across the guest bed. “Rise and shine!”

Ashley moaned and burrowed deeper in the covers. “What time is it?” she asked without opening her eyes.

“Almost noon,” Cal leaned against the brass railing at the end of the double bed. She appeared to be going back to sleep. He nudged her foot. “Want to go for a run with me?”

Ashley opened one eye. “Mmm.” She made a soft, sexy sound low in her throat. “Maybe later?”

Cal was about to coax her further when he heard a car in the drive. He crossed to the window and saw Ashley’s father’s Mercedes coming up the lane. This was…unexpected. “Ashley, I think your dad’s here,” Cal said.

Ashley scoffed and put one of the pillows over her head. “Get real,” she mumbled.

Cal plucked the pillow away from her ear. “I mean it, Ash. I’m not kidding. Your dad just drove up to the house.”

Ashley started, and ran a hand through her “bed-head” hair. As usual, she looked more apprehensive than pleased when confronted with a meeting with her parents. “I’ll keep him company while you get dressed,” Cal promised, aware he wasn’t much more comfortable with his father-in-law than Ashley seemed to be.

By the time Cal made it downstairs, Harold Porter was standing on the front porch of the farmhouse. Cal hadn’t seen Harold for nearly a year but he looked the same as always. His impeccably cut silver hair was brushed away from his forehead in a suave, sophisticated style that didn’t move even in the stiffest breeze. His skin bore the perennial suntan of a man who played golf, sailed and skied. Not that those activities were pleasure-oriented. Cal knew that everything Harold Porter did revolved around his work. And sometimes the only place a business meeting could be worked in was on the slope, the deck of a boat or a superbly manicured green. Hal Porter did whatever was necessary to get the job done, which was how he had risen through sales and marketing departments to become CEO of a prominent pharmaceutical company that was headquartered in the Research Triangle Park.

“Sir.” Cal shook his father-in-law’s hand and escorted him inside. Despite the fact it was a Saturday morning, Harold Porter was decked out in an expensive suit and tie.

“I can’t stay.” Harold shrugged out of his cashmere overcoat and handed it to Cal. “I’ve got a flight to Chicago later this afternoon, but I wanted to drop in and see you and Ashley before I headed to the airport.”

Cal wasn’t surprised. Harold traveled at least five or six days every week. Many weekends, he didn’t make it back to North Carolina at all.

Cal hung up Harold’s coat. “Ashley will be down in a minute. She’s just waking up.”

Harold frowned and glanced at his Rolex in obvious disapproval.

“She’s still on Hawaii time,” Cal explained, wishing Ashley’s father wasn’t so hard on her. “Can I get you some coffee or juice?”

Harold waved off the offer and regarded Cal soberly. “Actually, I’d like a word with you privately, if I may.”

Aware this couldn’t possibly be good, Cal led the way past the unfurnished rooms at the front of the house, to the family room at the rear. After Harold sat on the leather sofa, Cal took an easy chair and waited. The curt admonition wasn’t long in coming. “I thought I had explained this to you when you asked her mother and me for her hand in marriage,” Harold began sternly.

Cal was beginning to think of that conversation as the Devil’s Bargain. One he never should have made in order to get their blessing for the union.

“Ashley is very much like her mother and me,” Harold continued matter-of-factly. “She will never be happy unless she is free to be all she can be professionally. I know, because for the first six months after Ashley was born Margaret tried to give up her career goals and aspirations and be a full-time mother because she thought that would please me. She was never more miserable, nor was I.”

Which meant Ashley couldn’t have been happy, either. Cal knew that to have a happy baby—and a happy family—you had to have happy parents.

“I would hate to see you and Ashley walk down that same path, even for a short while.”

Resenting the implication that he had behaved less than honorably in any instance, Cal held up a silencing palm. “Sir, with all due respect,” he said angrily, “I resent what you are implying here. I assure you I have never done anything to hold Ashley back professionally.” Even when that meant biting his tongue when it came to her leaving him for a good two-and-a-half years. “In fact, I’ve done everything possible to help and encourage Ashley to follow her dreams.” At considerable cost to our marriage. Cal was sure the time apart had contributed to the emotional distance between them.

Harold lifted a skeptical brow. “Then I don’t understand what she’s doing here for a month, lazing around and sleeping ’til noon, when she doesn’t have a job yet.”

Thinking of the emotionally and physically exhausted woman upstairs, Cal’s patience waned. “She’s earned some time off.”

Harold frowned and cast a glance at the doorway, as if he didn’t want them to be overheard. “She can take that once she’s secured a position worthy of her education and training.”

“Thanks for the advice, Dad.” Ashley stood in the doorway. The expression on her face indicated she had caught the last of what Harold had said, but no more. And that was good, Cal thought, because he never wanted Ashley to know about the stipulations her parents had put on their blessing for Cal and Ashley’s marriage. It was enough that he knew that their concern had not been that he love her with all his heart and soul, but rather that he wouldn’t interfere with the stellar career achievements they expected of their only daughter.

Still moving tiredly, Ashley came farther into the room.

She was wearing a pink plaid flannel robe over her nightshirt, and slouchy pink sweat socks covered her feet. Her face was still bare of makeup, but she had brushed her hair and fastened it in a sleek chignon at the nape of her neck. She looked vulnerable and repressed—not at all like the carefree young bride who had been driving a Mustang convertible around country roads at midnight. Cal’s heart went out to her once again.

Ashley had no trouble being her own woman when she was away from her parents. But when she was in their presence, she always seemed to shrink a little and fade into some stressed-out realm where Cal could not always reach her.

“Ashley.” Harold stood, embracing her in a warm, paternal hug.

Cal noted with some relief that Harold looked genuinely glad to see his daughter. Ashley looked happy to see her father, too. But she was also wary. Nervous. On edge. Which was how she always acted around both her parents, no matter what the situation.

“I take it you haven’t accepted the job in Maui,” Harold said.

“No,” Ashley said simply. Her glance cut over to Cal briefly before she turned her gaze back to her father. “I haven’t.”

“Well, it’s probably a good idea to scout around first,” Harold said, his tone gentling amiably as they all took a seat once again. “So where else are you looking?” Harold pressed.

Ashley folded her hands primly in her lap and sat with her back perfectly straight. “I haven’t gotten that far yet, Dad. It was enough to finish my fellowship.”

Her father frowned, making absolutely no effort to hide his disapproval about that. “I gather you are planning to job-hunt from North Carolina, then.”

Ashley hesitated and this time she didn’t look at Cal at all. “Yes.” He reached over across the sofa and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“Makes sense.” Harold nodded thoughtfully after a moment. “Travel arrangements would certainly be easier from the mainland.” Harold chatted on for several minutes. He gave Ashley a list of potential contacts who might know of suitable positions. Then he rose. “Well, I’d better get going. Don’t want to miss my flight to Chicago. I’ve got a business dinner there this evening.”

“Where’s Mom?” Ashley asked, also standing.

“She’s still in Boston. She won’t be home for another seven to ten days. A new semester is a very busy time for the university. As chancellor, she can’t afford to be away.”

“Right,” Ashley said.

If Ashley was disappointed her father had so little time to spend with her, she was not showing it. “Well, travel safely, Dad.” Ashley rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. Harold hugged her again, even more warmly this time, shook Cal’s hand and was off.

Ashley and Cal stood watching until Harold had driven away.

As soon as he was gone, Ashley let out a long breath. Her slender body seemed to deflate. “I’m sorry about that,” she said, shaking her head. “He should have called first, let us know he was coming.”

“He’s family, Ashley,” Cal corrected his wife gently. “Your father doesn’t have to call for permission first. He’s welcome here anytime. In fact, I wish he would come here more,” Cal said sincerely. Perhaps if Ashley and her parents spent more time together their relationship wouldn’t be so strained. He knew they loved each other. They just hadn’t quite figured out how to show it. A lot more interaction, on a more casual basis, might help that.

Ashley looked full of resentment. “If my father’d been coming here on business, he would have called ahead out of courtesy.”

“Maybe he thought you’d duck him if he gave you too much notice,” Cal teased gently and waited for her reaction. As he expected, it wasn’t long in coming.

Ashley turned to Cal, moisture brimming in her china-blue eyes. “I love him.”

“I know.” Cal wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her in close to his side.

“I love both my parents,” she insisted thickly.

“I know that, too.” He comforted her with a kiss on the top of her head.

Ashley leaned into his embrace, as if soaking in the comfort he was trying to give, then moved away. She threw up her hands in frustration as she paced back and forth. “They just drive me crazy.”

Cal knew that, too. “You could just tell your father you don’t want to talk about the job search.”

“That wouldn’t stop him from putting his two cents in,” she complained.

Probably not, Cal thought and released a long, frustrated breath.

“Anyway,” Ashley sighed. She started to run her hands through her hair, the way she always did when she was restless, then stopped when she encountered the sleekly arranged chignon and pins. Looking as if she no longer wanted to discuss this, she eyed him up and down, taking in his ancient sweats and running shoes. “Did you say something about going for a run with me?”

He had, but that was before she was standing in front of him, looking so…wrung out and pale. He didn’t want to say so, but physically she didn’t look up for a long walk never mind a run in forty-degree weather. “Yeah, but—” Cal paused as the beeper at his waist began to buzz. He looked at the numbers running across the front, grimaced. He glanced at Ashley in apology, aware this was something he’d forgotten to mention. “I’m on call this weekend.”

He turned the beeper off and headed for the phone.

“That the hospital or a patient?” Ashley asked.

“Hospital.” Which meant it wasn’t likely a problem that could be solved over the phone. He picked up the phone and dialed. Ashley was still waiting when he had finished talking. “I’ve got to go. A sixteen-year-old kid got hurt on an ATV. From the sound of it, I’m going to be a while.”

He was already grabbing his keys and wallet. “I’ll call you later,” he said.

Ashley flashed him a wan smile.

Cal headed for the door then came back, hooked an arm about her waist and pulled her close. Aggravation boiling up inside him, he kissed her soundly. He wished the demands of their profession weren’t separating them again so soon. “Damn, I hate leaving you today,” he said.

This time her smile was real. And sexy as all get out. “We’ve got time,” she murmured reassuringly. Both hands on his chest, she shoved him in the direction he had to move. “Now, go.”

LOOKING BACK, Ashley didn’t know how she managed it. But she waited until Cal had driven off before she gave in to the nearly overwhelming nausea that had plagued her from the moment she had woken up. She rushed to the bathroom, where she promptly threw up.

Telling herself it was just nerves—and the pressure her parents were exerting on her to find a job “worthy” of her education and training—Ashley forced herself to shower and dress. And then she threw up again.

Wondering if she were coming down with something, she took her temperature, found it normal. Then she said to hell with it, and went back to bed.

By the time an hour had passed, and she had napped a little more, she felt remarkably better. At least as far as the steadiness of her stomach was concerned.

As far as the rest of her went…well, the more she thought about it, the more questions she had. And there was only one way to get the answers she needed. So she got up, grabbed the keys to the Mustang, and went to see an old and dear friend.

Chapter Five

“Thanks for meeting me at the office on a Saturday afternoon,” Ashley told Carlotta Ramirez, a petite beauty with dark hair and eyes and olive skin. Carlotta had been Ashley’s “big sister” when she’d entered medical school—the fourth-year student assigned to help Ashley adjust. Now an obstetrician-gynecologist with a thriving private practice in Holly Springs, Carlotta was also married to another doctor, and the mother of three children: one born during her undergraduate years, the next while she was in medical school and the third during Carlotta’s Ob/Gyn residency.

“No problem.” Carlotta unlocked the door to her office suite, flipped on the overhead lights to dispel the wintry gloom and led the way inside. “I heard you and Cal were back this morning and I’ve been dying to see you. So how was Hawaii?” Carlotta continued as she shut the door behind them. “Beautiful?”

Ashley thought about the white-sand beaches, blue skies and even bluer ocean, the lush vegetation and a temperature that never varied much below seventy degrees or above eighty. “Very.”

“I envy you the chance to do your fellowship there.” Carlotta shook her head in awe. “Talk about paradise.”

It had been, Ashley thought. But it would have been so much better if Cal had been there with her. Maybe then she wouldn’t have felt such soul-deep loneliness the whole time she was there.

“So how long have you been feeling lousy?” Carlotta asked as they walked through the deserted inner office.

Ashley paused as Carlotta stopped at the linen closet and got out a soft pink cotton gown and a folded linen sheet, and handed both to Ashley.

“I just started throwing up this morning,” Ashley said, telling herself that what she was worried about couldn’t possibly be true.

“But—?” Carlotta prodded, experienced enough to know there was more.

Ashley confided reluctantly, “I’ve been tired and over-emotional and I suddenly can’t fit into my pants.”

“Any chance you might be pregnant?” Carlotta asked casually.

Yes, as a matter of fact, there was a slight chance—even though Ashley kept telling herself it couldn’t possibly be true. “Cal and I were together in mid-November for a weekend in San Francisco,” Ashley admitted with a rueful smile.

Carlotta grinned. “Sounds romantic,” she teased.

Romance involved feelings, which Cal and Ashley had both been careful to keep tamped down. “It was certainly passionate, anyway,” Ashley joked right back, aware her palms had begun to sweat as she faced finding out the absolute truth of her situation. A truth she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with.

Carlotta paused at another cabinet, and withdrew what she needed to do a screening test for iron-deficiency. “Did you two use protection?”

Ashley blushed as Carlotta tore open an antiseptic packet. An Ob/Gyn, too, she knew these were the kind of questions she should be asking others, not answering herself. “I’ve been taking oral contraceptives.”

“And that’s it?” Carlotta asked.

Ashley cleared her throat, embarrassed to find herself in this position. “Right. Which was foolish, I know, since nothing is absolutely foolproof in and of itself.” How many times had Ashley counseled her own patients in the women’s clinic to use two methods of contraception simultaneously, and not just one, if they wanted to make absolutely sure they did not conceive?

Looking back, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t followed her own oft-given advice. But she had missed Cal so desperately, and making hot, wild love with him had always been the one sure way the two of them could connect, even when every other method of communication failed abysmally. Not wanting anything between them, she’d told him to forget about condoms and had been a little reckless.

“Well, there’s one way to find out.” Carlotta swabbed the end of Ashley’s third finger with the antiseptic wipe, then pricked her finger. “I can do an in-office urine pregnancy test for you right now and, if that’s positive, of course, we’re going to want to take some more blood to send to the lab for a complete prenatal work-up and screening.”

“Sounds good.” Ashley watched as a dot of blood appeared on her finger and waited for Carlotta to fill a small plastic cylinder with a sample of her blood for the iron-deficiency screen.

Finished, Carlotta swabbed Ashley’s finger again, then gave her a small plastic cup.

By the time Ashley emerged from the bathroom with the cup full, her blood sample was already in the machine that would render the results. Carlotta completed the in-office lab tests while Ashley undressed in one of the exam rooms.

“Well, you’re not anemic,” Carlotta announced, breezing in. Her cheerful grin confirmed what Ashley already knew in her heart. “And it looks as though the stork is going to be paying you two a visit next August.”

Ashley drew a deep breath as her old friend started the physical exam by taking her blood pressure and listening to her heart and lungs.

“You’re sure?”

Carlotta nodded. “Even without the test, I would have known. I’m surprised you and Cal didn’t pick up on the signs. Your breasts appear swollen and you’ve got blue and pink lines beneath the skin.” Carlotta moved to the end of the exam table while Ashley slid her feet into the stirrups and slid down.

Carlotta donned gloves and continued the physical exam. “Your uterus is enlarged and soft. Yep, you’re definitely pregnant, all right.”

Finished, Carlotta gave Ashley a hand and helped her sit up.

Ashley sat there, completely stunned. “Why don’t you get dressed and then we’ll talk in my office?” Carlotta said gently.

A few minutes later, wearing the same comfortable pale-blue sweats she had worn on the plane back from Hawaii, Ashley entered Carlotta’s office. “Well,” she said, as she sank into a seat. “This certainly explains why I’ve gained over five pounds in two months and suddenly none of my pants with waistbands fit.”

“I take it pregnancy wasn’t in the plans you and Cal have been making?” Carlotta said delicately.

Ashley shook her head. “We haven’t even discussed children since the first couple of months we were married.” Then they had both thought about having a child, except it hadn’t worked out, and shortly after that, the troubles in their marriage had begun.

Carlotta handed Ashley a month’s supply of prenatal vitamin samples. “You think he doesn’t want children?”

Ashley hesitated. She was bewildered to discover she no longer knew the answer to that. “It’s just…”

“I understand. It’s a life-altering event, no matter how it occurs. But for the record, I think Cal would be very happy.” Carlotta paused. “I mean, you are planning to tell him, aren’t you?”

Happiness bubbled up inside Ashley, followed quickly by fear, and a disturbing feeling of déjà vu. “Yes, of course I’m going to tell Cal, as soon as I hit the three-month mark and pass the danger of miscarriage.”

Carlotta blinked. “You’re sure you want to wait that long?”

Ashley knew from her own patients that most women couldn’t wait to tell their husbands.

“Yes.” For very good reason.

Carlotta did some quick calculations, and grinned as she jumped to the logical conclusion. “Valentine’s Day, huh?” Carlotta teased.

Ashley smiled. Now—heaven willing—she knew exactly what she was going to give her husband for Valentine’s Day. And it beat the heck out of any car, even a red ’64 Mustang convertible. “Promise me.” Ashley looked Carlotta in the eye and did her best to quell her nervousness. “Not a word to anyone, even your husband, until I give the okay.”

Carlotta crossed her heart. “You have my word. Now, is there anything else you want to discuss?”

Ashley sobered. “As a matter of fact,” she related unhappily as she prepared to fill her friend in on the most private parts of her medical history, “there is.”

“YOU HAVEN’T HEARD a word I’ve said, have you?” Cal said in frustration several hours later.

Ashley flushed guiltily and looked across the kitchen table at him. They’d been having dinner for a good twenty minutes now, and although he had been talking nonstop about the case he’d seen earlier and the difficulties the surgery presented, she had heard only a smidgen of it. Which had been most unlike her. Usually, she loved hearing about Cal’s cases, and vice versa. Medicine was the one thing they could always talk about.