“I Want To Take You To Bed And Break Down All The Barriers You Put Between Us.”

“Tad, go away.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not the girl you want.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Because I like the same Christmas tree you do.”

He gave her a half smile that took her breath away. “No, because you’re beautiful and sexy and you’ve haunted my dreams since the last time I saw you.”

She took the tray and left the living room. She couldn’t think when he said things like that. When he made her believe that forever and happily ever after might still exist. It was as if everything her ex-lover and ex-boss had taught her disappeared. But she knew better.

“I’m not your dream woman, Tad. I’m no man’s.”

Dear Reader,

Thank you for choosing Silhouette Desire—where passion is guaranteed in every read. Things sure are heating up with our continuing series DYNASTIES: THE BARONES. Eileen Wilks’s With Private Eyes is a powerful romance that helps set the stage for the daring conclusion next month. And if it’s more continuing stories that you want—we have them. TEXAS CATTLEMAN’S CLUB: THE STOLEN BABY launches this month with Sara Orwig’s Entangled with a Texan.

The wonderful Peggy Moreland is on hand to dish up her share of Texas humor and heat with Baby, You’re Mine, the next installment of her TANNERS OF TEXAS series. Be sure to catch Peggy’s Silhouette Single Title, Tanner’s Millions, on sale January 2004. Award-winning author Jennifer Greene marks her much-anticipated return to Silhouette Desire with Wild in the Field, the first book in her series THE SCENT OF LAVENDER.

Also for your enjoyment this month, we offer Katherine Garbera’s second book in the KING OF HEARTS series. Cinderella’s Christmas Affair is a fabulous “it could happen to you” plot guaranteed to leave her fans extremely satisfied. And rounding out our selection of delectable stories is Awakening Beauty by Amy J. Fetzer, a steamy, sensational tale.

More passion to you!

Melissa Jeglinski

Senior Editor, Silhouette Desire

Cinderella’s Christmas Affair
Katherine Garbera

www.millsandboon.co.uk

KATHERINE GARBERA

lives in central Florida with her husband and two children. They are all happy to be back in their native state after a two-year absence. Her favorite things are spending time with her family, writing, reading and talking about reading. Readers can visit her on the Web at katherinegarbera.com.

To Courtney, Lucas and Matt—

thanks for making everything worthwhile.

Acknowledgments:

Special thanks to Julie Wachowski

for suggesting Gejas as a romantic place for dinner.

Also, thanks to the entire Windy City chapter

for being so knowledgeable about everything and for making me feel like one of your own even it was only for a short time.

Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Epilogue

Prologue

Dying had not been what I’d expected and after successfully matching together one couple I felt a little more confident about this afterlife gig. But this body disappearing thing still freaked me out. I was back in that in-between land that Father Dom had called purgatory.

I’d been a capo in the mob before being betrayed by one of my lieutenants. Five shots to the chest and a dying request for forgiveness had brought me here.

The deal I’d cut was essentially to unite in love as many couples as enemies I’d murdered in hate. So I knew I’d be dealing with this angel broad for a while. Matchmaker to the lovelorn wasn’t exactly something I’d been dying to do but life was full of surprises. Come to think of it so was death.

In front of me was a large mahogany desk with a library lamp and a jar of Baci chocolates. I’d been here before. The angel broad was there, still looking like she’d just attended a funeral but her dress this time was puke-green.

She was making notes in a file folder. She didn’t glance up and I knew she was playing a game with me. I’d done the same thing a time or two when I’d been a capo. It made me feel like a cugine instead of the boss of bosses, which I’d essentially been. I didn’t like it.

“What’s up next, babe?” I asked.

“Mr. Mandetti, unless you want me to stop this whole exercise now, you will refrain from calling me babe.”

I still wasn’t used to being called by my real name. I’d been Il Re when I was alive. The King. Yeah, I had an ego and the attitude to carry off that name. “I don’t know your name.”

“Didiero. I’m one of the seraphim.”

“The what?”

“One of the highest angels of God.”

“Oh.” She made me feel stupid which wasn’t a feeling I liked. But she held all the cards and if I’d learned one thing from my time back on earth it was that I didn’t want to go to hell.

And I’d never admit this to anyone but I liked the feeling that came with doing something good. It was the first time I’d ever experienced it.

“Didi?” I asked.

“Are you talking to me?” She didn’t look up from the papers in front of her.

“Didiero is a mouthful.”

She glanced at me from under her lashes. This one would drive me crazy if I let her.

“So who’s next?” I asked.

“You still want to go in order?” she asked.

“Nah, give me that green one halfway down.” Maybe the middle of the pile would be easier. I wasn’t trusting her to pull out a couple. I’m sure she’d fixed it so I’d had to work hard on my first assignment.

She handed me the folder. I opened it up and groaned. CJ Terrence and Tad Randolph. “Aren’t there any couples who can do this on their own?”

“Sure, there are Mandetti, but they don’t need your help. There is one thing I should warn you about,” Didi said.

“Yeah?” I was leery. Why was she suddenly being all helpful?

“You won’t take the same human form each time.”

It was like she knew how to push my buttons. “Babe, get to the point.”

“That is my point, Mandetti.”

She disappeared and I felt my body dissolve. I found myself on the streets of Chicago. My kind of town. This assignment was looking up by the moment. I was in front of the Michigan Building on Michigan Ave. In the mirrored glass I saw an old lady and two sharp-looking guys.

Not bad. I could definitely handle being a young hip guy. Both of them were taller than I’d been. I walked toward the glass and noticed only the old lady was moving.

Madon’ that couldn’t be me, could it? I gave the reflection the finger. Christ, I was an old broad with a frumpy dress on. Didi was probably up in Heaven laughing. Just wait until I saw her again.

One

Of course the first man she’d had a crush on would be the only thing standing between her and her promotion. CJ Terrence smiled with a confidence she was far from feeling and shook Tad Randolph’s hand.

Ten years had passed since they’d last seen each other and she knew she’d changed a lot. She’d dyed her mousy brown hair a sassy auburn, she’d swapped her horn-rimmed glasses for aqua-colored contacts that masked her natural brown color. And the biggest thing of all, she’d lost twenty pounds.

But in that moment she felt like her former self—the chubby girl next door. She reached for the bridge of her nose to push up the glasses she’d always worn back then. Dropping her hand, she reminded herself that she’d changed.

She took a deep breath; assured herself that her physical changes were enough to keep Tad from recognizing her. Of course, she recognized him even though he’d put on at least twenty pounds. All of it solid muscle. He looked exactly how she’d expect the owner of a sporting goods company to look.

It was too bad he couldn’t be balding like other guys who were her age. Instead his blond hair was thick as ever and bleached by the sun. He looked too good and she wanted to run and hide.

“CJ Terrence,” she said introducing herself. She could only hope that maybe Tad wouldn’t be able to identify her as the girl he’d known as Cathy Jane in high school.

He took her proffered hand and shook it for the required three pumps. Shivers of awareness or maybe it was nerves shook her. His hand was bigger than hers, not surprising since she wasn’t a big girl—at five foot five inches tall she was average and Tad Randolph had grown into a giant since she’d last seen him.

Calluses ridged his palm and his skin against hers was rough and warm. She wondered how his hand would feel against her stomach. Tremors of sensual awareness pulsed through her body. He continued to watch her with that razor-sharp gaze of his. Had she given too much away?

“Ms. Terrence, where do you want these presentation boards?” CJ’s secretary, Rae-Anne King, asked.

CJ dropped Tad’s hand and glanced at her new temporary secretary. “Please excuse me.”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you, CJ,” Tad said.

“I’ve…got to set up,” CJ said. Yes she was the queen of intelligent conversation—not!

“Don’t let me keep you.”

Right. One minute in the man’s presence and she’d lost ten years worth of self-confidence. Confidence she’d earned by standing on her own and not depending on anyone else.

Tad nodded and walked to the coffee service that CJ had set up. Normally, her assistant would have handled it but this was her first day working with Rae-Anne. Her temp had proven to be a little inept around the office.

CJ motioned to the easel at the end of the long narrow conference room. Working quickly she set up her presentation and then glanced out the window.

It was a blustery day in early December. Chicago was gray and damp. Though the Christmas decorations along Michigan Avenue tried to instill a little cheer, they failed.

Failure was something CJ understood but she didn’t plan to let it rest on her shoulders today. She took a deep breath, muttered her mantra to herself and then turned to face the other people in the room.

Tad touched her shoulder; she started and dropped her cards. Damn. This wasn’t going to work. Six years of moving her way steadily up in the advertising world was suddenly in jeopardy.

He picked her cards up from the floor and held them out to her. Their hands brushed. His were large and tan. He wrapped his fingers around hers, which were cold. Rubbing his thumb across the back of her knuckles he warmed up more than her fingers.

“Cold hands?” he asked softly.

“Always,” she said. Her fingers were never warm even in summer.

“You know what they say about hands,” he said.

“Honestly, no.”

“Cold hands, warm heart. Do you have a warm heart, CJ?” he asked.

No way was Tad Randolph—the only boy she’d ever allowed herself to have a crush on—flirting with her in the middle of the conference room.

“CJ?”

“Uh…I don’t know.”

“There’s something familiar about you,” he said.

She took her cards from his grip and nervously shuffled them. Oh, God, please don’t let him remember me. She was never going to be able to do this.

“Have we met?”

She shook her head. God, don’t get me for lying, she thought. Just in case she crossed her fingers behind her back. Before she could answer her boss walked in.

“CJ was featured in Advertising Age last year as part of their Top Thirty To Watch. Twenty-somethings who were taking the advertising world by storm,” Butch Baker said from the doorway.

Butch was forty-eight and had been with Taylor, Banks and Markim forever. He was her immediate boss and observing today as part of the promotion process. CJ was next in line for the directorship of the domestic division of the advertising company. Today’s meeting wasn’t a make-it or break-it deal, but bagging the sporting goods contract would give her a nice lead over her competition.

Butch and Tad turned aside to discuss mutual friends and CJ turned back to her presentation. Everything was in place. If she’d paid closer attention to her notes then she would have realized that P.T. Xtreme Sports was owned by Tad Randolph.

Normally, her secretary Marcia would have taken care of notifying her of such details. But Rae-Anne had been lucky to find the file on the company before they’d had to come down to the conference room.

She missed Marcia. They’d worked together for four years like a well-oiled machine until Marcia had fallen in love with Stuart Mann and married him. The couple had decided to start a family, which left CJ without Marcia’s presence in the office. Not that she begrudged Marcia her family, she just wished they’d had more time to train this temp.

“You nervous?” Rae-Anne asked when Tad’s other executives filled the conference room.

“I shouldn’t be. This is routine.” Sure, it’s every day the boy you had a girlhood crush on was the key to an important account…and your promotion.

“Then why are you?” Rae-Anne asked.

“That’s the million dollar question, Rae-Anne. Thanks for helping me set up. You can go back to the office now.”

“No problem. Good luck, CJ.”

“I need more than luck,” CJ said. She needed a miracle, but her life had been short on those.

Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and began her presentation. She avoided meeting Tad’s gaze. And spoke with all the confidence she’d cultivated since she’d left that small town she’d grown up in, and honed since Marcus had left her.

It would be a lot easier to deal with Tad’s reappearance in her life if he weren’t so damned attractive.

Remember what he said about you and how it felt to realize you’d put your trust in someone who was so superficial. Remember that Tad wasn’t the only one to teach you that lesson. Marcus did as well.

How many times did she have to be hurt before she’d finally learned?

Her career had never let her down. Advertising was safer and required no heartache.

But there was a part of her—Cathy Jane—that wondered what it’d be like to kiss Tad Randolph, high school superstar. A little experiment to see if all the hype that had surrounded Tad during high school had been accurate.

She was no longer the girl with the baggy clothes and frizzy hair. She was a sophisticated city girl who knew how to make men take notice of her and wasn’t afraid of their attention. At least in the boardroom she knew how to do it.

Life couldn’t get much better, CJ thought. Once she started talking her confidence returned and she realized that even if Tad recognized her it wasn’t the end of the world.

“I know you had a long-standing relationship with Tollerson but together we can take P.T. Xtreme Sports to the next level,” she said.

“Very impressive. We’ll be making our decision at the end of the week,” Tad said, wrapping up her presentation.

He had a few words with Butch as CJ cleaned up her presentation boards. Not bad, she thought. She’d made it through the presentation and unless she’d missed her guess, P.T. Xtreme Sports was going to be the newest account in her impressive portfolio.

“Great job, CJ,” Butch said.

“Thanks, Butch.”

Butch walked out of the room and CJ felt like doing the Snoopy dance of joy.

Slowly the conference room emptied leaving only herself and Tad. Why was he still here?

Nervously, she tugged at the hem of her suit jacket. “I’m really impressed with you, CJ Terrence.”

“Thanks,” she said. She should just clear the air, tell him they’d gone to high school together and then put it behind her.

He moved closer. There was something sensual in his eyes. Was he attracted to her? He quirked on eyebrow at her as she took a half step backwards.

“Am I scary?” he asked.

“No.”

He smiled at her and closed the gap she’d just opened with her retreat. She tried to reassure herself that he wasn’t stalking her. If she wanted to she could back away and give herself more space. But she didn’t want to. He smelled good. Closing her eyes she inhaled deeply.

He took her hand again rubbing his thumb over the back of her knuckles. “Are you sure we haven’t met before?”

Oh, God. Not again. Why hadn’t she run when she had the chance?

What was she going to say? The truth was she didn’t want him to ever look at her and picture the girl she’d been. But having an account manager that lied to you didn’t exactly inspire confidence.

The rubbing motion of his thumb was sending shots of awareness up her arm. Her hand was tingling and if she wasn’t so reluctant to have her past discovered she’d actually enjoy this time with him.

“Well…Ms. Terrence.”

“Well what, Mr. Randolph?” she said pulling her hand away.

Time to take control and get the heck out of the conference room.

“CJ Terrence…CJ…Cathy Jane?” Tad asked.

She was frozen. Unable to think of anything intelligent to say she just nodded.

“Cat Girl, I knew you looked familiar,” Tad said smiling.

Cat Girl…that’s what she’d called herself senior year. CJ wished for a time machine. She wouldn’t travel to the future to see the marvels it held, or to the distant past to visit Regency England. She’d travel back to her first year of high school.

She’d find her old locker and destroy the box of HoHos she’d always kept there. Then she’d give her teenaged self a makeover, pointing out gently that baggy clothes didn’t make her look slimmer and finally giving her teenaged self the one piece of advice no one else had given her but someone really should have—never call yourself Cat Girl.

Even if you meant it tongue-in-cheek, some day when you’re almost thirty it will sound humiliating and not funny.

Alas, there was no time machine and she’d just have to muddle through this as best she could. Tad Randolph didn’t own the only large sporting goods chain looking for representation, she could find another one. Of course, by then Paul Mitchum, another ad executive, would have beaten her to the punch and her career with Taylor, Banks and Markim would be down the drain. CJ wished that the floor would open up and swallow her.

“That was a long time ago,” she said at last. “I’m not that person anymore.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” he asked.

“Come on Tad, honestly would you want Cathy Jane from Auburndale to represent your company?”

“You’re not that woman anymore,” he said.

“No, I’m not,” she said. She met his gaze. His gray-green eyes had always fascinated her. There was more reflected there now than intelligence and fierce will. Now she saw a man with life experience. A man who tempted her to forget what she’d learned about men and maybe risk her heart on the gamble that this guy would be the one who’d never leave.

“I’ve got to get back to work.”

“I won’t keep you.”

She gathered her presentation case and walked out of the conference room without looking back.

“CJ?”

She glanced over her shoulder at him.

“Have dinner with me?” he asked.

“Oh, Tad. I can’t.”

“Why not? Come on, Cathy Jane, for old time’s sake.”

“It’s CJ now.”

She was tempted but knew that nothing good came from dwelling on the past. Besides, Tad had been the reason why she’d moved away from Auburndale. After she’d overheard him talking about her to his friends she’d realized that she needed to start over where no one knew her.

And Chicago had seemed the right place for that. Except she’d learned that running away meant nothing unless you changed, too. She’d been the same shy, awkward girl until Marcus had left and forced her to take stock of her life.

She didn’t really know how to handle men one-to-one. She started to shake her head.

“I know you’ve changed but we were once friends and I’d like to take you to dinner.”

She couldn’t stop her smile. They had been friends. He’d been the only kid her age in the neighborhood that summer they’d both been twelve—popularity and weight hadn’t mattered. They’d ridden their bikes all over the city and spent all their time together. She’d forgotten those days.

There was a part of Tad that was very dear to her. Not the teenaged boy who’d been more concerned about his image than her feelings, but the friend she’d had when she’d first moved to the ridiculously small town of Auburndale. “You’re bigger than you used to be.”

She blushed when she realized how ridiculous that sounded.

“Geez, thanks! Come on. Just one meal. What could it hurt?”

She knew she shouldn’t but couldn’t resist the temptation he represented. He’d been her secret teenage crush, and he’d never noticed her as a woman…until now. It was a fantasy and as long as she remembered that she should be fine. “Okay, one dinner but that’s it. We’re probably going to be working together and I don’t want things to get weird.”

“I like your confidence, Cat Girl.”

“Uh, Tad?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t call me that anymore.”

“What’s going to happen if I do? I am stronger than you now.”

“I’m a third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do.”

“No kidding. I practice that martial art too.”

This was creepy. She shouldn’t have that much in common with him—the boy who’d broken her heart and made her doubt she’d be a mate to any man. “I’d love to spar with you.”

“Call me Cat Girl again and I’ll give you a chance. I don’t want to talk about old times.”

“I don’t either. I want a chance to get to know the new you.”

She tried to smile as she walked away because she knew that there wasn’t much new to her. She still felt like the same awkward person she’d always been.

Two

Tad guessed that CJ had been trying to put him in his place but as he watched her walk away, enjoying the sight of her curvy hips swaying with each step she took, he didn’t mind.

Man had she changed since high school. He remembered the lonely little girl who’d made him feel like a hero when he’d bandaged her scrapes after she’d fallen off her bike. He remembered her as a sweet shy girl who’d been too smart for him in high school. He also remembered the girl who’d refused to talk to him after senior prom. He’d always wondered why she had cut him off.

But this woman in the conference room had been a sexy blend of intelligence, savvy and sass. Just what he liked in his women.

His mom had been bugging him to look up Cathy Jane since he’d moved to Chicago five years ago, but Tad had put her off. Kylie, his college girlfriend, had left him saying she didn’t want to come in second to a sporting goods store just about the time he had moved to the Windy City. Tad had been kind of sour on women then. The last thing he’d wanted to do was catch up with the girl who’d given him the cold shoulder through the last two months of their acquaintance.

Of course, at the time his mom had been pressuring him to marry as well. Which was a common thing with her. But his business had been in that crucial make-it-or-break-it stage and the last thing he’d wanted was the kind of distraction women offered. And he hadn’t been interested in marrying some hometown girl or any other girl for that matter.

Tad had shelved his dreams of wife and family and concentrated on making a success of P.T. Xtreme Sports instead. But his mother’s health had been deteriorating in the five years since he’d moved to Chitown and he knew she’d love to see him settled. In fact, she’d hinted rather baldly on the phone last night that she was the only woman in her circle of friends without grandchildren. And he was honest enough to admit he wanted a family.

He’d created a legacy and he wanted to be able to pass it on to his own kids. But finding the right woman wasn’t easy. He wanted a woman who’d look up to him and need him.

Cathy Jane would have fit that bill, but he wasn’t sure CJ did. She’d changed. He remembered long curly brown hair that he’d always tried to accidentally touch. God, it had been incredibly soft. Her auburn tinted tresses had been tucked up today. Was her hair still that soft, he wondered.

Her eyes had thrown him as well. She’d always had the biggest brown eyes behind her horn-rims. She looked good with blue eyes and if he’d never known her as Cathy Jane he might even prefer the blue. But he had known Cathy Jane. Why had she felt the need to change so much?

A small leather wallet was lying on the end of the table. He’d give it to one of the secretaries on his way out. He picked it up and it opened. Staring up at him from a typical DMV photo was Catherine Jane Terrence.

He skimmed her address. Her condo was only a few blocks from his. All this time they’d practically been neighbors and never run into each other. Tad was honest enough to admit he wouldn’t have recognized her as his old childhood pal without hearing her name.

Whistling under his breath he left the conference room. A pretty brunette receptionist smiled up at him as he approached. He smiled back at her. “Can you direct me to Ms. Terrence’s office?”

She gestured toward the left. Bangles rattled on her wrist. “Down the hall, third door on the left.”

“Thank you.”

He paused outside her doorway. He could hear CJ talking to her secretary. It didn’t sound like CJ was having a great day. Frustration underlined each of her words. He was beginning to think that CJ worked too hard. It wasn’t even lunchtime—way too early to be stressed out.

He rapped on the door frame. Both women looked up. CJ’s secretary was a middle-aged woman with graying black hair and a few wrinkles. Both women wore identical expressions of frustration.

“Can I help you?” CJ asked.

“You left this in the conference room,” Tad said. Oh, yeah he was a smooth talker with the women. Why was it that Cathy Jane made him feel like he was on his first date?

“Oh, thanks. You could have left it up front.”

“Yes, I could have.” This was going to be harder than he thought. Why was CJ so damned determined to keep things all business between them? Probably because, at this point, there was only business between them. Yet when they’d shook hands earlier in the conference room he’d felt something pass between them that had nothing to do with ad campaigns.

“I have a few questions to ask about your presentation, can you spare me five minutes?”

“Sure. Rae-Anne, why don’t you go down the hall and ask Gina to show you around the office?”

Rae-Anne brushed past Tad muttering under her breath about bossy women and—while his Italian had never been good—he thought he heard her curse in that language.

“Your secretary is…different,” he said at last.

“She’s a temp. Today’s her first day and we’re still working out the kinks,” CJ said. She leaned against the desk, fiddling with the clasp on her wallet. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “What questions did you have?”

He didn’t have any. He hadn’t had a chance to review her presentation but he hadn’t liked being dismissed. He’d learned a long time ago that the only way to achieve what he wanted was to take charge. He cleared his throat. “Just wanted to clarify a few details. We have an in-house production company for educational videos. We usually use them for our commercials as well.”

“Come into my office. I want to make some notes,” she said, leading him through the connecting door. Her office was a decent size with a large window overlooking Michigan Avenue. Her walls were decorated with awards and plaques of appreciation from companies.

The article Butch had referred to earlier was framed and hanging on the wall. CJ’s picture was cool and confident. She hardly resembled Cathy Jane—the girl he’d known. But even then he’d known she’d go on to do great things. She’d been smart and shy but very focused on getting out of Auburndale.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. When you make your decision, I’ll get a contact name from you and talk to the head of the department.”

“I’ll do that,” he said, leaning back in the leather guest chair. Her office was subtle and relaxing but also spoke of success. He felt a twinge of pride at how far she’d come from the girl she’d been. Despite the way things had ended between them, he’d always thought of her fondly.

“I can’t believe you own a sporting goods store,” she said.

“You’re not the only one. I started college prelaw.”

“You look sporty,” she said, then rolled her eyes.

He didn’t remember her being this funny. But then she’d always been so uncomfortable around him. His friends had teased him about spending so much time with a chubby brainiac. But deep down, he’d always liked Cathy Jane.

“Believe it or not, I am capable of intelligent conversation,” she said.

He smiled. She’d always been one of the smartest people he knew. “You’re the first person to call me sporty.”

“I know you were an athlete in high school. Is that how you got into the business?”

“During college I started to work out more and tried some things I’d always wanted to.”

“Like?”

“Mountain biking, rafting, some rock climbing.”

“Do you still do all that?” she asked.

He nodded. “I was in Moab, Utah last week.”

“You’ve changed so much,” she said.

“So have you, Cathy Jane.”

“I’m CJ, now, Tad. Some days it doesn’t seem I’ve changed all that much,” she said.

“Good. I always liked the girl you were.”

“Is that why you told your friends I paid you to spend time with me?”

Tad hardly remembered the boy he had been until she’d said those words. He’d been more concerned with how he looked to his friends in those days than hurting Cathy Jane’s feelings. Honestly, though he’d never known she’d overheard his remarks.

He was embarrassed by them now. No wonder she’d never talked to him after senior prom. “Hey, I was young and stupid.”

“Yeah, so was I,” she said.

“Does this mean you don’t have a crush on me anymore?” he asked, cursing himself for not keeping quiet. Because a crush was the only thing that had explained her behavior back then.

CJ sank back in her chair unsure what to say next. She knew she should have run when she first had a glimpse of Tad Randolph. But his warm gray-green eyes had convinced her to stay before he’d even recognized their past connection. And she’d never had good instincts when it came to men.

When they’d been in high school she’d idolized Tad. She’d spent hours writing his name in her notebooks and dreaming of them together. But now, as a mature woman she understood things that never would have entered her mind then—like relationships were complex and needed both people to be interested.

Though Tad’s comments had hurt, a part of her had needed to hear what he really thought of her. It had given her the courage to break free from the familiar and start over. College had taught her more lessons and Marcus had finished her education when he’d left.

Tad leaned forward in his chair. Bracing his elbows on his knees and watching her with an intensity that made her breathless. She shivered under the impact. What was he thinking?

“Tad…” She stood and paced to the window. How could she explain to him that maybe she’d needed to hear the truth about herself. That his comments, though hurtful at the time, had made her realize that she needed to be strong inside. She needed to get away from her comfort zone and try the things she’d always secretly dreamed of.

She heard him stand but didn’t turn. Maybe he was leaving. But then she felt his presence behind her. He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

“Sorry I said it that way,” he said. His hand slid down her back lingering at the curve of her waist.

His touch rattled her senses and for a minute she wasn’t sure what he’d said.

She wrinkled her nose, wishing again that Marcia still worked for her. Her old secretary would have interrupted by now and sent Tad on his way. “I hoped it wouldn’t come up.”

“I had no right to ask it,” he said.

“I guess you did. There’s no easy way to say this. I think I’d built you into someone you really weren’t,” she said.

“What kind of guy?” he asked.

“The kind that looked past the outer shell of who I was and saw me as something more,” she said. He’d been someone she could debate the merits of Voltaire versus Molière. He’d been someone who understood that sometimes it was easier to be smart than to socialize. He’d been a safe haven from the other popular boys who teased her endlessly.

He cupped her face and shivers of awareness spread down her body. He had always had that effect on her senses. The first time it had happened in the advanced biology lab she’d nearly freaked out. It still shook her.

“Would it help at all to know that I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth?”

“Yeah, right. You always did have a touch of the blarney in you.” It was nice of Tad to try to reassure her. Her reservations about men had started long before she’d met Tad and continued long after she’d left Auburndale.

He shrugged and let his hand drop. “I only wish I’d had the maturity to make that moment right.”

“Well, you were responsible for my leaving town and making the life I’ve made. So maybe I should thank you.”

“I knew you went to Northwestern. Was it what you expected?” he asked.

“No,” she said. But it had definitely helped her grow up and had cemented her decision to make her career her life.

“You’ll have to tell me about it,” he said. He crossed back to the guest chair.

“Now?” she asked, walking back to her desk. She wasn’t going to tell him a thing about that time in her life or Marcus Fielding.

He shook his head. “I have to get back to work.”

“Of course. You rattled me, Tad.”

“I know,” he said, wriggling his eyebrows. “I have a feeling not many do that, Miss Top Thirty.”

“You’ve got that right. Next time we meet I’m going to be on my toes.” Or at least give the impression she was. She knew herself well enough to know that Tad was always going to knock her a little off balance.

It didn’t seem fair that the one guy who had that ability should be the only thing standing between her and the realization of her career goals.

“I’d rather you weren’t,” he said.

She smoothed her skirt and cocked her head to one side. “That’s what all the men say.”

“Do they?” he asked.

“You know they do. Guys don’t like smart women,” she said, teasing him.

“Only dumb guys don’t like smart women,” he said with a cocky grin.

She’d forgotten what it was like to spar with a man. The men she’d dated lately tended to be as career focused as she was. “You never were dumb. Though, I may have to revise my opinion.”

“Why?” He took a step toward her.

Although she realized she never should have started this, she wouldn’t back down now. “You look like a jock.”

He tucked his hands into his pockets and canted his hips to one side. Her breath caught in her chest. His pose was blatantly masculine and unexpected. He sounded like her childhood friend but there was an aura of sexuality and macho self-confidence the Tad she’d known had never used around her.

“I own a sporting goods company. I am a jock.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” she said, trying to force him back into that comfortable mold he’d previously inhabited in her mind.

He raised one eyebrow at her in question and cocked his head at her.

“I’m trying to think of a way to put this delicately…”

“You don’t have to mince words with me,” he said, taking another step toward her.

She edged back stopping only when her desk blocked her retreat. “I’m just afraid that buff body of yours may have cost you a bit of the gray matter.”

“You think I’m buff, Cathy Jane?”

She blushed as she realized she did. It was never a good idea to fall into lust with your client. She cleared her throat. “Please don’t call me that.”

Taking his hands from his pockets, he ran one finger down the side of her face. “Why not?”

“Because I’m not that girl anymore,” she said.

He leaned closer to her. His minty breath brushing her face with each word he spoke. “You’re so much more than you used to be, Cathy Jane.”

Pivoting on his heel he walked out the door. CJ put her hand over her racing heart and knew she’d just met more than her match. She would have to avoid spending any time alone with him.

Saturday dawned bright and chilly. Tad left his condo and ran along the shore of Lake Michigan. CJ had been ducking his calls all week and frankly he was tired of it. He’d let her have her space but that was all about to end. He was a man of action and winning games was something he’d become accustomed to.

The rhythm of his exercise cleared his mind and soon he was analyzing Cathy Jane. He hadn’t realized she’d heard his comments to Bart all those years ago. He’d never meant for her to be hurt and he’d actually gone on to defend her. But guys like Bart never really understood women.

Tad realized he didn’t understand them either. Kylie had wanted a rich husband and Tad had worked his butt off to make his dreams of a sporting goods store come true. But Kylie hadn’t been satisfied with that. As he worked to build his business, she’d complained that she didn’t want a man who worked all the time.

What kind of a mate would CJ be? She was successful in her own right and wouldn’t need a man’s money to support her. But would she want a man to share her life?

He’d talked to his mom again this morning, casually mentioning that he’d run into Cathy Jane. His mom had asked about CJ and her sister Marnie.

“Nice girls, nice family,” his mom had said, and he knew what she’d meant. The kind of girl she wished he’d marry. He’d hung up without saying anymore to his mom about CJ. But she’d planted a seed in his head.

Would CJ be willing to marry him? They were both nearing thirty and their careers were on track.

He’d got her to agree to dinner but little else. She’d hedged and had her secretary send regrets twice. But Tad was used to hard work.

He ran his usual five miles, but altered his route so that he jogged by CJ’s building on his way home. He’d always had a photographic memory and the image of her address on her driver’s license was etched in his mind. Could he drop by unannounced? He slowed as he approached her building.

Two women were struggling with a Christmas tree. He slowed his pace. He thought it was CJ and an older woman. He still wasn’t used to seeing her with auburn hair. In his mind she had thick ebony hair. She looked cute with her knit cap and matching muffler around her neck. Her companion looked like her secretary.

He slowed to a walk to let his breathing slow and even out and then approached her. All he could make out was her long black wool jacket, legs encased in faded denim and a pair of boots that would have done any one in Auburndale proud.

“Rae-Anne, can you lift your end a little higher?” CJ asked. The two women juggled the tree without much success. The six-foot blue spruce was a nice tree—not unlike the one that he’d ordered for his condo. For someone who’d changed so much, they still had a lot in common.

“Madon’. I’m trying. I’m not as strong as I used to be,” Rae-Anne said.

“Let’s set it down for a second,” CJ said, bending at the waist to set the trunk on the snow-dusted ground. Her coat slid up and Tad was treated to the full curves of her backside. His fingers tingled with the need to reach out and caress her.

Instincts older than time had his hand lifting before he could stop himself. Her buttocks looked firm and full, but he’d learned the hard way that women didn’t appreciate a man reaching out and grabbing something he liked. She straightened, still holding the tree up.

“Can I help?” Tad asked, reaching around CJ to take the trunk of the tree from her.

CJ glanced over her shoulder at him. Her breath brushed across his cheek and he inhaled sharply. The scent that was uniquely CJ assailed him. He was surprised at its familiarity. It reminded him of home and of memories best forgotten.

“What are you doing here?”

“I live up the street,” he said, gesturing to his building. “Let me carry the tree up for you.”

“Thanks, but we’ve got it,” CJ said, brushing his arm aside. He refused to let her budge his arm.

She glared up at him but he knew she wouldn’t make an issue of it in front of her secretary. “We don’t need your help.”

“Merda, I do,” Rae-Anne said. She put her hand over her heart and sighed loudly. “Some of us aren’t as young as we used to be. And I just stopped by to drop off the Monday files. I finally figured out your last secretary’s system.”

CJ bit her lower lip, unsure. He knew her well enough to know that she didn’t like to give ground. He sometimes wondered, if he hadn’t let her beat him in arm wrestling when they’d been twelve, if they’d have even been friends.

Tad took control, grabbing the tree and hefting it with one hand. “I got the tree.”

“Very impressive. Do the girls usually swoon when you do this?”

“You’re my first, CJ,” he said.

“I’m impressed. Are you sure you won’t drop it?”

Always the smart-ass, when they’d been teenagers she’d teased him about his choice of girlfriends. He’d forgotten that there’d always seemed to be two different Cathy Janes. The one at school who kept her head down and her nose in a book and the one at home who sassed him. He wondered what she’d do if he kissed her. Her lips were full and he was tempted more than he should be. His plan for a wife was simple and straightforward—filling a void in his life. “I can handle one tree, CJ.”

“Of course, you can,” Rae-Anne said. “You’re not a middle-aged woman.”

“Kind of you to notice,” Tad said, smiling at the other woman.

“Think nothing of it,” Rae-Anne said. “I believe in giving credit where it’s due.”

“So do I. Machismo isn’t something that requires praise, Rae-Anne,” CJ said.

“Machismo?” he asked. A man had to have a strong ego around CJ. Unlike Kylie who’d always flattered him…until she’d walked out the door with one of his competitors.

CJ tilted her head to the side and studied him. He couldn’t help it. He flexed his abs and stood a little taller. Her gaze moved over him and his blood flowed heavier. He shifted his legs trying to keep her from noticing his stirring erection through the fabric of his sweatpants. “Overabundance of testosterone sound better?”

Oh, yeah, he was going to kiss that smart mouth. To hell with her Christmas tree. “Gallant rescue sounds good to me.”

“You always did have a big head.”

“You always were a bit of a pain.”

“Then why are you here?” she asked.

Because she was the one woman he’d never been able to forget. No matter how many beautiful, intelligent women he’d dated, CJ had always lingered in the back of his mind. “I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“Follow me. I’m on the twelfth floor. We have to use the service elevator,” CJ said.

“I’m yours to command.”

“As if,” she said and climbed the stairs to the building.

Rae-Anne and CJ held the doors open for Tad, and in a short time they were standing in CJ’s apartment.

“Where’s your tree stand?” he asked.

“I can do that. I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Really that’s okay.”

“You can’t do it on your own,” he said.

“Rae-Anne is going to help me, right?” she asked.

Rae-Anne had a pile of file folders in her arms and didn’t really look like she’d expected to decorate a tree.

“Do you want me to help?” Rae-Anne asked. “My mother used to say many hands make light work.”

Tad winked at her, sensing he had found an ally in his pursuit of CJ. And he just realized it was a pursuit and nothing less than complete surrender of the saucy redhead would suit him.

Three

CJ had had enough interaction for the day. Saturdays were normally her favorite. She wanted Rae-Anne to go home and Tad to disappear back into the fabric of the past so that she could once again have control of her life. She’d make herself a nice cup of herbal tea and then climb onto the counter and pull down the box of HoHos she had stored above the refrigerator.

They were for emergency use only and after this day she knew she needed the sweet bliss that only consuming a box of chocolate cream-filled cakes could bring.

She’d talked to Rae-Anne last night and they’d discussed Rae-Anne bringing over the Monday files so they could have a head start on the week. But then Rae-Anne had called to say she’d be late and CJ had decided to go and get her Christmas tree. Bad idea. She should have gone into the office instead. Nothing was the same with Rae-Anne as it had been with Marcia.

But Tad was a different matter entirely. The purely masculine look in his eyes told her that he was interested in doing more than renewing old friendships and frankly, that made her nervous.

She was glad that Rae-Anne was here because she didn’t want to be alone with Tad.

Her weary soul said no more guys with buff bodies and yet she’d always been drawn to them. Marcus had been a marathon runner who’d spent hours in the gym. Even her dad had been a high school football coach.

“I’ll make the coffee,” she suddenly blurted.

And for some reason being around Tad seemed to reduce her normally quick tongue to banal small talk. More and more she was slipping back into the old Cathy Jane, joke of Auburndale high school.

“I’ll make it,” Rae-Anne said.

“No offense, Rae-Anne, but you have yet to make a pot of coffee that anyone would drink.”

Rae-Anne threw back her head and laughed. “Madon’, this woman thing is making me crazy.”

“What woman thing?” Tad asked.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Rae-Anne said. Turning to a battered box she pulled out a tangled mess of Christmas lights.

“We’ve got our work cut out, my friend.”

“I think I can handle it.”

CJ left them to sort out the lights telling herself there was nothing wrong with escaping to the kitchen. Not long ago she’d vowed to never let a man make her cower again and here she was hiding out in her kitchen. She boiled water in her teakettle and made coffee in her French press. She had a box of cookies in the cupboard and she arranged them on a Christmas plate from the set her mother had given her the year before she’d died.

There was a part of CJ that really hated the holidays. Marcus had broken up with her on Christmas Eve five years ago and he’d changed something inside her when he left.

She’d hoped to marry him and become his wife. She’d had visions of a shared future where they had their own small ad agency and they worked together. But Marcus had needed something else in a wife. He’d been using her to get a promotion and once he had obtained it, he’d dumped her for the right woman. A corporate wife who’d put her husband first instead of her career.

Her father had run off just after Thanksgiving the year she was eleven with an eighteen-year-old cheerleader. And her mom had been diagnosed with cancer two days after Christmas when CJ was nineteen. So, the holidays always represented not just joy in a season of giving, but also sadness and a sense of loss at what could never be again.

“Rae-Anne sent me to help you.”

CJ made a mental note to talk to Rae-Anne. That woman was entirely too bossy for her own good. “I think I can handle coffee and a plate of cookies.”

Tad stepped into her “step-saver” kitchen and CJ backed up a pace.

“Did I suddenly develop some communicable disease?” he asked.

She flushed. “No, why?”

“Because you keep dancing away from me. What’s up, Cathy Jane?”

She forced herself to stand her ground when Tad came closer to her. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him. It was her reactions that made her leery. Not even Marcus who she’d contemplated marrying had made her skin tingle, her pulse pound and her body ache the way Tad did.

“Nothing.”

He reached out and caressed her face. Drew his large callused forefinger down the side of her cheek. His wizard green eyes watched her carefully and she struggled to keep any sign of what she was feeling from her face. Marcus had taught her that men wouldn’t hesitate to use a woman’s body against her.

“I know you better than that.”

She shivered again as he took his hand from her face and turned to the plate of cookies. God, she hoped he didn’t really know her. Didn’t realize that her feminine instincts were stronger than her control. And that at this moment she wanted nothing more than to order Rae-Anne from the condo and beg Tad to touch her once again.

“Not anymore, you don’t,” she said quietly. The only element in her favor was that Tad was a stranger.

“The other day in your office you weren’t like this.”

“Well, we were in my office. You were a client, not a guy in clinging sweatpants lifting heavy things with one hand.”

“Did I impress you?” he asked, pivoting back toward her, pinning her between the kitchen cabinet and him.

She had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze and when she did, she wished she’d hadn’t. There was a heat there that mirrored the longing in her soul. Nervously she licked her lips. His eyes tracked the movement and he leaned the tiniest bit toward her before stopping.

“Do you want to?” she asked.

“Hell, yeah.”

Her blood ran heavier in her veins and she knew that what she wanted—really wanted—was for him to notice her as a woman. No matter how dangerous that attraction would be, she wanted it.

But she hadn’t lost her mind. This new Tad was too big. Too “large and in charge” as her ten-year-old niece, Courtney would say.

“I’m not in the ego-building business.”

“Cathy Jane, this has nothing to do with ego,” he said. He settled his hands on her hips and drew her closer to him.

“Tad, I really don’t think…”

“That’s right, don’t think.”

He lowered his head toward hers. Her hands rose to his shoulders and instead of doing the prudent thing and pushing him away, she kneaded his shoulders, leaned up on tiptoe and met his hungry mouth with her own. Oh, my God, she thought, Tad Randolph is kissing me.

Tad wouldn’t have guessed that her mouth would taste so sweet. She was shy and hesitant and he coaxed her gently into opening her mouth wider and letting him explore her hidden secrets. Ah, yes, this was what he’d been searching for.

She didn’t lie passively in his embrace. But she didn’t take charge either as he’d expected her to do. At work she was a modern-day Amazon but in his arms he realized there was still a lot of the shy, sweet girl he used to know.

Her touches were tentative on his shoulders and back. Her mouth under his was soft. Her curves were pliant against him. He pulled her more fully into his body and held her for a minute. His mouth pressed against hers in the chaste embrace she seemed to need.

He lifted his head and dropped light kisses on her cheeks and forehead. Her eyes were the remembered dark brown today instead of the blue-green contacts she’d worn that day in her office. She watched him warily and he wanted to reassure her. To promise her that he didn’t want to hurt her only show her a passion that he suspected would be Heaven on earth.

“Relax, CJ, let me in. I promise it’ll feel good.”

“We have to work together,” she said.

“That sounds like an excuse.”

“It is. God, it really is. But you aren’t what I expected, Tad. And I have no idea how to handle this,” she said. Her voice rasped over his aroused senses with the same impact as silk over skin.

He didn’t have words to reassure her. Wasn’t sure that this was a good idea from his vantage point either but he knew there was no way he was leaving the kitchen having only shared one kiss.

“Cathy Jane, you slay me,” he said and lowered his mouth once again to hers. This time he took her lower lip between his teeth and suckled. He was so tight and full and needed her more than he’d ever admit.

He slid his hands down her torso, skimming the full curves of her breasts and spanning her waist. He bent his knee and thrust his leg between hers. She grasped his shoulders and her mouth opened with a soft sound.

Holding her head in his hands, he tilted her face back and took her mouth the way he wanted to take her. Fast, hard, deep and so thoroughly that she’d never again touch her lips and not think of him.

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