Praise for Amy Ruttan

‘I highly recommend this for all fans of romance reads with amazing, absolutely breathtaking scenes, to-die-for dialogue, and everything else that is needed to make this a beyond awesome and WOW read!’

—Goodreads on Melting the Ice Queen’s Heart

‘A sensational romance, filled with astounding medical drama. Author Amy Ruttan makes us visualise the story with her flawless storytelling. The emotional and sensory details are exquisitely done and the sensuality in the love scene just sizzles. Highly recommended for all lovers of medical romance.’

—Contemporary Romance Reviews on Safe in His Hands

Sealed by a Valentine’s Kiss

These untamed docs are almost too hot to handle!

Welcome to Crater Lake, Montana, where doctors Carson and Luke Ralston were born and raised. Big Sky Country gives these gorgeous brothers the space to leave their difficult pasts firmly behind them … until two new additions to the landscape—feisty surgeon Esme Petersen and east-coast ace Dr Sarah Ledet—upset their careful balance!

Find out what happens in

Carson and Esme’s story

His Shock Valentine’s Proposal

and

Luke and Sarah’s story

Craving Her Ex-Army Doc

Don’t miss the Sealed by a Valentine’s Kiss duet from Mills & Boon Medical Romance author Amy Ruttan

Available from February 2016!

Dear Reader,

Thank you for picking up a copy of His Shock Valentine’s Proposal.

Montana is a state I never really had on my bucket list. And then one summer, on a drive out to Alberta to visit family, I had the privilege to travel through it. From Broadus to Billings, and up through Great Falls, I fell absolutely head over heels in love. Mountains, sweeping plains and badlands … They say Montana is ‘Big Sky Country’ and they’re right.

After that visit I knew I had to set a story in Montana. Especially in the mountains, nestled against the border of Alberta—a province that was also never on my radar until I had to travel there for my sister-in-law’s wedding. I fell in love with Alberta too on that trip.

What struck me about travelling through Montana was its vastness. All that land and barely a person in sight. It’s a place to get lost and to find yourself. It’s a perfect place for my heroine Esme to hide.

Montana is also a place I wouldn’t mind raising my kids. Fresh air, mountains, plains—it’s a beautiful land. It’s also where my hero grew up. Carson doesn’t want to leave Crater Lake, or the family practice he’s inherited. And he certainly doesn’t want a relationship after his heart is broken. But when he’s faced with competition in the form of a new doctor in town maybe love will soften his heart after all?

I love hearing from readers, so please drop by my website, amyruttan.com, or give me a shout on Twitter @ruttanamy.

With warmest wishes,

Amy Ruttan

Born and raised on the outskirts of Toronto, Ontario, AMY RUTTAN fled the big city to settle down with the country boy of her dreams. Life got in the way, and after the birth of her second child she decided to pursue her dream of becoming a romance author. When she’s not furiously typing away at her computer, she’s mom to three wonderful children.

His Shock
Valentine’s
Proposal
Amy Ruttan

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Table of Contents

Cover

Praise for Amy Ruttan

Excerpt

Dear Reader

About the Author

Title Page

Dedication

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

EPILOGUE

Copyright

This book is dedicated to Montana. Your beauty, even

four years after I visited you, still haunts me and makes

me long to spend endless summers wandering through

your mountains, your plains and your badlands.

This book is also for James, who spent his third birthday

in Montana on our cross-country trek and

loved every second of it. Love you, buddy.

CHAPTER ONE

“WHAT DOES SHE think she’s doing?” Carson grumbled to himself.

“Looks like she’s planting flowers in a pot,” Nurse Adams remarked.

Carson turned and glanced at his father’s nurse, who had worked in the practice longer than Carson had. Actually, she was technically his nurse now. He hadn’t realized she’d snuck up behind him. Like a ninja.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

She looked down her nose at him in that way she always did when he was little and causing mischief in his father’s office. A look that still sent shivers of dread down his spine and he realized he’d taken it a step too far.

“If you didn’t want my opinion, Dr. Ralston, you shouldn’t be talking out loud in my waiting room.”

“Sorry, Louise.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Just hate seeing all these changes going on in Crater Lake.”

Her expression softened. “There’s a building boom. It was inevitable that another doctor would come into town and set up shop.”

Carson frowned and jammed his hands in his trouser pockets as he watched the new, attractive doctor in town planting flowers outside the office across the street. Crater Lake was changing and he wasn’t sure he liked it too much.

His father had been the lone physician in Crater Lake for over forty years, long before Carson was born. It was a practice he’d taken over from his grandfather; now Carson had taken over the practice since his parents retired and moved south to warmer climates.

There had always been a Ralston as the town’s sole practitioner since Crater Lake was founded in 1908. Something his father liked to remind him of constantly.

The only other time there had been a notion of two town doctors was when Danielle had lived with him for a time after medical school, but that had been different. They were supposed to work together, get married and raise a family. It hadn’t lasted. She hadn’t liked the slow existence or the winters of living in northwest Montana.

Luke is a doctor.

Carson snorted as he thought of his older brother, who was indeed a licensed practitioner, but Luke didn’t like the confines of an office and preferred to be out in the woods tracking bears or whatever he did up on the mountains. Luke didn’t have the same passion of upholding the family tradition of having a Ralston as the family practitioner in Crater Lake. That job fell on Carson.

The new doctor in town, Dr. Petersen, stood up, arching her back, stretching. Her blond hair shining in the early summer sunlight. He didn’t know much about the newest resident of Crater Lake. Not many people did. She’d moved in and kept to herself. Her practice hadn’t even opened yet and though Carson shouldn’t care he couldn’t help but wonder about her, who she was.

The door jingled and he glanced at the door as his brother came striding in, in his heavy denim and leather, a hank of rope slung around his shoulder.

Louise huffed under her breath as his brother dragged in dirt with his arrival.

“Slow day?” Luke asked as he set the rope down on a chair.

“Yeah. I have the Johnstone twins coming in about an hour for vaccinations.”

Luke winced. “I’ll be gone before then.”

Louise stood up, hands on her ample hips. “Would you pick up that filthy rope? My waiting room was clean until you showed up! Honestly, if your parents were still here …”

Luke chuckled. “You make it sound like they’re dead, Louise. They’re in Naples, Florida. They live on the edge of a golf course.”

Carson chuckled. “Come on, let’s retreat to my office. Sorry, Louise.”

Carson glanced back one more time, but Dr. Petersen had gone back inside. His brother followed his gaze out the window and then looked at him, confused.

When they were in his office, Luke sat down on one of the chairs. “What was so interesting outside?”

“There’s a new doctor in town,” Carson said offhandedly.

Luke grinned, leaning back in his chair. “Oh, I see.”

“What do you see?”

“I’ve seen her. I’m not blind.”

Carson snorted. “That’s not it at all.”

Luke cocked an eyebrow. “Then what is it?”

“It’s a new doctor in town. It’s threatening our family practice.”

Luke shrugged. “It’s your practice, not mine.”

So like his brother. Not caring much about the family practice. Not caring about generations of Ralstons who’d sweated to build this practice and this town up. Well, at least he cared.

Do you?

Carson pinched the bridge of his nose. “I thought you were against the town expansion and the building of that ski-resort community.”

“I am. Well … I was, but really there was no stopping it.”

“You could’ve attended a few town meetings,” Carson said.

When had Luke stopped caring so much?

It wasn’t his concern and by the way Luke was glaring at him Carson was crossing a line. His brother quickly changed the subject. “I guess my point was that it didn’t look like you were checking out the competition the way you want me to think you were.”

“I’ll work that out later.” Carson moved around and sat down on the other side of his desk. “What brings you down off the mountain and what in heaven’s name are you going to tie up with that rope?”

Luke grinned in the devilish way that used to cause their mother to worry. It usually meant that Luke was about to get into some serious trouble.

“Nothing much. I actually just came for some medical supplies. I’m taking some surveyors deep into the woods.”

“And the rope is to tie them to the nearest tree and use them as bear bait?”

“The thought had crossed my mind, but like you, little brother, I took the Hippocratic Oath. I swore to do no harm.”

“Hmm.”

“You need to liven up a bit, little brother. You’re too tense.”

Carson snorted. “Look who’s talking. You know the local kids refer to you as the Grinch in the winter. One of the Johnstone twins thought you were going to come down and steal Christmas last year.”

“Because I told her that. She spooked my horse.”

“You’re terrible with kids and have a horrible bedside manner,” Carson said.

“I’m great with kids. Dad just knew you were more of the office type of person and I like to run wild.”

Must be nice.

The thought surprised him, because he should be used to Luke’s lifestyle after all this time. Luke always got to run free, do what he wanted. Carson was the reliable one.

Dependable.

Never took risks.

Carson shook his head. “As long as you’re not naked while running wild then I don’t care.”

Luke grinned. “I didn’t know how much you cared.”

Carson couldn’t help but chuckle. “You need to get your butt out of my clean office before you give Louise a heart attack and get yourself back up that mountain. I have patients coming in soon. Patients who think you’re going to steal their Christmas.”

“Right. So, do I get the medical supplies? I may not have regular office time but I technically have part ownership.”

“You know where they are. I don’t have to tell you.”

“Thanks.” Luke got up.

“Take your rope, too.”

Luke winked and disappeared into the stockroom while Carson leaned back in his father’s chair and scrubbed a hand over his face.

Luke had one thing right. He was tense. He worked too much.

You’re wasting your surgical talent here. Why didn’t you take that internship at Mayo? Why are you giving up a prestigious surgical residency to become a general practitioner?

Danielle’s words haunted him.

Lately, they had been bothering him more. Ever since the old office building across the road had been bought and he’d got wind that a new doctor from Los Angeles was moving into town. There weren’t many full-timers in Crater Lake. The ageing population was a threat to the small town and now with this resort community going in, it would bring more people, but not people who would be here all the time and Carson couldn’t help but wonder if the time of the small-town doctor was gone.

Perhaps he had wasted his life? Maybe he should’ve cared less about the practice like Luke. Maybe he would’ve become a great surgeon.

More and more lately it seemed he was thinking these thoughts. He didn’t take risks, but he was happy with the choices he made.

This was the path he chose and he was happy.

He was happy.

Who are you trying to convince?

He groaned inwardly. He didn’t have to let the ghosts of his past haunt him.

Get a grip on yourself.

Carson shook those thoughts away.

No, he was doing what he’d always wanted to do. Sure, he’d been offered several amazing residencies, but surgery was not what he wanted to do.

He liked the small-town life; he liked the connection he had with the people in Crater Lake. He would be stifled in a big city; he’d be trapped in a busy hospital in the OR for countless hours. This he preferred.

Still …

It irked him that another doctor had moved into town, but he couldn’t stop it and frankly he hoped she was up to the challenge. She was from California. He doubted it very much that she would be able to survive her first winter here and that thought secretly pleased him.

Louise knocked and then opened his door. She looked worried. “Dr. Ralston, Mrs. Johnstone is in the waiting room. She needs to speak with you.”

“Is everything okay? I thought the twins’ appointment was later?”

Louise’s lips pursed together. “She’s here to cancel her appointment and take their chart.”

“Hold on!” Esme called out. She had no idea who was banging on the front door of her office. She wasn’t open yet. The big day was at the end of the week. If it was a delivery they could’ve read the sign and come along to the back alleyway.

Only the banging was insistent. It sounded almost angry, which made her pause. Perhaps she should take a peek out the window. The last thing she wanted was it to be the tabloids outside pounding on her door. Not that they’d bothered with her for the past three months.

She’d dealt with enough press in LA before she’d hightailed it to the solitude of the mountains. Of course, when she’d chosen Crater Lake as her new home, she’d known that there was going to be a resort community, but she hadn’t realized another high-end spa and hotel was going up.

Esme could handle a small ski-resort community, but a huge high-end spa and hotel? That was not what she wanted. Small. Sleepy and in need of a friendly and eager town physician. Of course, once she’d spent all her money on buying her practice she really hadn’t been able to change her mind. The building she had bought had been on the market for five years.

She knew there was an old family practice in town. Dr. Ralston had been practicing medicine in Crater Lake his whole career and his father before that and his father before that. It was time to breathe some new life into Crater Lake.

The pounding reminded her why her inventory of medical supplies was being interrupted and she glanced out of the window of her primary exam room.

“Whoa.”

The handsome man standing in front of her office was definitely not paparazzi or press. He didn’t have a camera or a recorder, or even a smartphone on him. He was well dressed in casual business attire. His brown hair combed neatly, clean shaven, but definitely an outdoorsy type of guy, because she could see his forearms where he’d rolled up the sleeves of his crisp white shirt were tanned and muscular.

He was a well-dressed country boy and Esme had a thing for country boys. Always had, but that was a hard thing to find in Los Angeles.

Unless you counted the country singers she’d treated, and she didn’t. Of course, when she’d thought she’d found the perfect guy it had turned out she hadn’t and she was terrified by who she’d become and about what he wanted from her.

Don’t think about Shane.

Well, whoever this guy was, he was off-limits. She wasn’t here to get involved with anyone. Besides, he was probably married or taken. One thing Esme had discovered about her new place of residence was that Crater Lake was mostly filled with older people and young families. It wasn’t a happening place for singles and that was fine by her.

She was here to hide, not find happiness. She didn’t deserve that. Not after what she’d done to Shane.

Not after what happened in the OR with her last surgery. It was too painful. Love and friendship, they were not what she was here for. She was here to be a doctor. She was here to blend in, to hide so no one could find her.

He banged on the door again.

She ran her hand through her hair, hoping she didn’t smell of sweat too much. Even though she had no interest in impressing him, she didn’t want to scare off any potential patients because she gave off the impression of being smelly.

“Just a minute!” Esme called out as she undid the chain and bolt on her office door. She opened it. “Hey, look, I’m not open today.”

“I’m aware,” he said tersely. “Can I come in?”

“I don’t even know you.”

“Is that how you plan to treat residents of Crater Lake?” he asked.

What’s this guy’s deal?

“Okay, how about we start with introductions? I’m Dr. Petersen.” She held out her hand, but he just glanced at it, ignoring her proffering.

“I know who you are, Dr. Petersen.” His blue eyes were dark, his brow furrowed.

Oh, crap.

“You do? You know who I am? I’m sorry I can’t say the same.”

He was clearly annoyed and she didn’t have time for this. “Look, I’m kind of busy today. Why don’t you call my office and my nurse will call you about an appointment time? I’m pretty open for appointments as I’m not open for business just yet.”

“You have a nurse?” he asked.

“Well, not yet, but I’ve interviewed some interesting candidates.”

“I bet.”

Esme frowned. “Have I offended you some way? If I have, I’m really sorry, but again I haven’t opened yet.”

“I’m aware you’re not open yet. Of course, that really doesn’t stop you from poaching patients.”

Esme was stunned. “Who are you?”

“I’m Dr. Ralston. I was the Johnstone family’s practitioner up until about two hours ago.”

Okay, now she was really surprised. “You’re Dr. Ralston?”

“Yes.”

“Dr. C. Ralston?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t get it.” Esme stepped aside to invite him in, but didn’t even get the words out as he wandered inside and then sat on the edge of the waiting-room desk, his arms crossed.

“What don’t you get? I can show you my ID.”

“Dr. Charles Ralston has been practicing medicine in Crater Lake for forty years.” She shut the door, but didn’t lock it just in case this guy was crazy or something. “You guys either have the fountain of youth up here in Crater Lake or someone’s records are incorrect.”

A small smile played on his face, some of that fury fading. “Dr. Charles Ralston is my father. I’m Dr. Carson Ralston. I took over my father’s practice when he retired five years ago.”

“Oh, and I’m the fool who just poached some of your patients. Gotcha.”

“Essentially.”

Esme crossed her arms, too. “So how can I help you?”

“Stop poaching my patients.” There was now a slight twinkle in his blue, blue eyes and he didn’t seem as angry anymore.

“I’m really sorry, but your patient wanted to change. I couldn’t turn them away,” she stated.

“Look, you have to know when you come to a small town you don’t go around stealing the patients of a practitioner who has been here for quite some time.”

Esme raised an eyebrow. “Is that some kind of doctor rule? If so, I’m not aware of it.”

“It’s common courtesy.” He didn’t seem as though he was going to budge until she handed over the files to him. Although, she hadn’t been given the files yet.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Dr. Ralston, but when I bumped into Mrs. Johnstone at the general store her twins took a shine to me and she wanted me to be her physician.”

“What do you mean the twins took a shine to you?”

She grinned. “I mean I didn’t scare them like the old, grumpy Dr. Ralston.”

His mouth fell open in surprise for a moment and then he snapped it shut. “Okay, then. I won’t bother you about it anymore.”

“That’s quite the defeatist attitude.”

He shrugged and headed to the door. “If I’m old and grumpy then there is nothing more I can do.”

A sense of dread niggled at her. “What do you know about them you’re not sharing?”

Now it was his turn to grin with pleasure. “Nothing. Just good luck with the twins, but I will tell you that if you take any more of my patients it’ll be war.”

Esme couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you declaring war on me, Dr. Ralston?”

“I believe I am, Dr. Petersen.” He winked, chuckling to himself as he shut the door behind him and Esme couldn’t help but wonder what she’d gotten herself into. She would have to keep her distance from Carson, though in a small town that was going to be hard to do, but she was going to try.

CHAPTER TWO

CARSON WAS GLAD that summer was coming, the days were longer, but then he really couldn’t enjoy the extra daylight when he stayed late and he usually stayed late because he didn’t have anything to go home to.

He had a big empty house that he used for sleeping. That was it. He’d built it for Danielle and him. Of course Danielle hadn’t stayed long enough to live in it.

The sun was just beginning to set behind the mountains, giving a pink tinge to the glacier on Mount Jackson. He never got tired of it. He loved Montana and if he did have regrets about his past, staying in Montana wasn’t one of them.

Still, the mountains, the scenery weren’t any kind of companion, but at least the mountains would never betray him and wouldn’t break his heart the way Danielle had done.

As he locked up the clinic he couldn’t help but glance across the street at Dr. Petersen’s clinic. The lights were still blazing. She’d opened at the end of last week, but Carson hadn’t lost any more patients. Most of her patients seemed to be coming down from the resort community and with that new high-end hotel and spa going in there would be even more people coming.

There were a few timeshares that were in operation, but he knew the main lodge was still under construction, as his brother was still taking surveyors and construction workers out on the trails.

Once the main spa hotel lodge opened and the community got its own full-time doctor, a job he’d turned down, then Dr. Petersen might feel a bit of pain financially.

A twinge of guilt ate at him and he felt bad for declaring war on her.

“You declared war on her? How does that even happen?” Luke had had a good laugh over that.

Of course, the last time Carson had declared war on someone was when Luke and he had been kids. Carson had declared war on Luke when he was ten and Luke had been fifteen. Carson had gone about booby-trapping parts of the house. The ceasefire had come when Luke had set a snare and Carson had ended up dangling upside down in a tree with a sign that said bear food.

Their father had put a stop to all present and future wars.

Carson sighed. He hadn’t been thinking that day in her surgery. She got on his nerves a bit and he had been put out that the Johnstone twins had thought he was grumpy and old. He honestly was glad to be rid of the little hellions.

It was the principle of the matter.

In all the years his father had practiced he’d never been called grumpy or old. He’d never lost a patient to another doctor.

There never was another doctor in Crater Lake.

A lot of new families had come into town over the past couple of years. Dr. Petersen was advertising. He’d heard her ad on the local radio station. Perhaps he needed to advertise. Maybe he was a bit too comfortable in his position and he was in a rut.

Carson rubbed the back of his neck.

He should go make amends with her.

He crossed the street and peered inside the clinic window to see if he could catch sight of her, get her attention, then maybe he could talk to her.

Before he knew what was happening there was a shout, his wrist was grabbed and he was on the ground staring at the pavement.

“What in the heck?” Carson shouted as a pain shot up his arm. He craned his neck to see Esme Petersen, sitting on his back, holding his left wrist, which was wrenched in an awkward position behind him. “Um, you can let go of me. I kind of need my arm.”

“Oh, my gosh. Dr. Ralston, I’m so sorry.” She let go of his wrist and got off his back. “I thought you were a burglar.”

Carson groaned and heaved himself up off the pavement. “There aren’t many burglars around Crater Lake. It’s a pretty safe town.”

“I’m really sorry for attacking you like that, but you scared me. Why the heck were you skulking around the outside of my office?”

“How the heck did you do that?” Carson asked, smoothing out his shirt.

“Do what?” Esme asked.

“Take me down?”

Esme grinned. “Krav Maga.”

Carson frowned. “Never heard of it. What is it?”

Esme shook her head. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why were you peering through the windows and generally acting suspicious? This doesn’t have to do with the war, does it?”

“Kind of.” Carson touched his forehead and winced. “I think I’m bleeding.”

“Oh, my God. You are.” Esme took his hand and led him to the open door. “Come inside and I’ll clean that up. It’s the least I can do.”

“No, thank you,” Carson murmured, trying to take his hand back. “I think you’ve done enough damage.”

“No way. You owe me this.” She dragged him into her very bright and yellow clinic waiting room. It was cheery and it made him wince. “You can head into the exam room and I’ll take a look at the damage.”

Carson snorted. “Are you going to charge me a fee?”

Esme rolled her eyes. “So petulant. I just may, since you were creeping around in the shadows trying to scare me.”

Carson sat on the exam table as she came bustling into the room and then washed her hands in the sink, her small delicate hands. They looked soft, warm, and he wondered how they would feel in his. He couldn’t think that way.

“I wasn’t trying to scare you,” he said.

“You said it was about the war you declared on me. Doesn’t that usually involve trickery and scaring tactics?” Esme stood on her tiptoes and tried to get a box from a high shelf. She started cursing and mumbling under her breath as she couldn’t quite reach it.

Carson stood and reached up, getting the box of gauze for her, his fingers brushing hers as she still tried to reach for it.

So soft.

His heart raced, he was standing so close to her, and he looked down at her and she stared up at him in shock that he’d done that for her. He hadn’t realized how blue her eyes were or how red her lips were and the color was accentuated by the white-blond of her hair. She kind of reminded him of a short, feisty Marilyn Monroe.

Focus.

Carson moved his hand away and tossed her the box of gauze. “If you can’t reach it, you shouldn’t put it up so high.”

“I didn’t. My nurse did. He is a bit taller than me.”

“He?” Carson asked, teasing her.

“Sexist, too, are we?”

“Please.”

“Sit down. You’re such a whiner, Dr. Ralston.”

Carson sat back on the table; his head was throbbing now. “Dang, you did a number on me. What did you call that again?”

“Krav Maga.” Esme pulled on gloves. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re right. I shouldn’t have been … what did you call it?”

“Skulking.” She smiled, her eyes twinkling as she parted his hair to look at his injury.

Carson winced again, ignoring the sting. It wasn’t the sting that bothered him, it was her touch. Just the sudden contact sent a zing through him. It surprised him. It was unwelcome. He wanted to move away from her, so he wasn’t so close, but that was hard to do when she was cleaning up his wound. “Right. Skulking. I shouldn’t have been doing that outside your office.”

She nodded and began to clean the wound. “So why were you?”

“I came to apologize.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah. I shouldn’t have come barging over here and accusing you of stealing my patients.”

“So are you calling a truce?”

“I am. Ow.”

Esme tsked under her breath. “It’s just a scrape. Don’t be such a baby.”

“Do you talk to all your patients this way?”

“Only ones who whine so much.” She smiled and continued to dab at his scrape. “There. I’ll just put some ointment on it. Do you want a bandage?”

“No, thanks.”

Esme shrugged and then rubbed some antiseptic ointment on the scrape.

“Ow.”

“Doctors are the worst patients,” she muttered.

“For a reason.” Carson chuckled.

“I’ve never really understood that reason.” She pulled off her gloves and tossed them in the medical-waste receptacle. “There. All done.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a bandage? Maybe a pressure dressing.” She was chuckling to herself and he rolled his eyes.

“Pretty sure.” Carson sighed. He had to get out of the clinic before something else happened. Such as him doing something irrational. Only he couldn’t move. “I better be going. Again, I’m really sorry for being such an idiot before.”

She grinned. “Apology accepted.”

Esme didn’t really know what else to say. She felt very uncomfortable around Carson, but not in a bad way. In a very good way and that was dangerous. When their hands had barely touched a few moments ago, it had sent a zing through her. One that wasn’t all that unpleasant. Actually, it had been some time since she’d felt that spark with someone. Of course, relationships never worked out for her. Men couldn’t handle her drive and focus to commit to surgery and she had liked her independence and career too much. No one messed with her career.

Well, not anymore. She couldn’t forget why she was a surgeon.

Hold on, Avery. Please.

Let me go, little sister. It hurts so much … let me go.

She’d dedicated her life to surgery. To save lives.

And until Shane, surgery had been her life. Her father had been so proud and she’d been training under Dr. Eli Draven, the best cardio-thoracic surgeon on the West Coast.

She’d thrown herself into her work. So much so, that she hadn’t had time to date, until Eli had introduced her to his son.

She’d met Shane and surgery had become second, because he had always been taking her somewhere. Esme had been swept off her feet and, being the protégée of Dr. Eli Draven, she’d become too cocky. Too sure of herself. She’d thought she’d had it all.

Then in a routine procedure, she’d frozen. A resident had jumped in, knocking sense back into her and they’d worked hard to save the patient’s life. But in the end they’d lost the fight.

Esme hadn’t been able to go on, because in that moment—in that failure—she’d realized that she didn’t know who she was anymore. She didn’t know who she’d become, but it wasn’t her.

Pulled back from her memories, Esme stared down at her hands, watching how they shook.

You’re not a surgeon anymore, she reminded herself.

She’d come here to rebuild her life and right now she should be focusing on building her practice up, because every last dime of her savings had been sunk into this building. She’d bought the clinic, the license and the apartment upstairs.

This was her life now. She didn’t have a retired parent to hand off a practice to her. Her stepmother had been a teacher and her father a cop.

They’d scrimped and saved to send her to the best medical school. Scholarships only went so far and she owed it to them to pay them back, since she could no longer be the surgeon they expected her to be.

She’d lost herself.

And she’d lost Shane. If only she’d come to the realization that he wasn’t the man for her before she was in her wedding dress and halfway down the aisle on Valentine’s Day. It was something she had to live with for the rest of her life.

Her father had made that clear to her. He’d been so disappointed. She’d let him down.

I don’t know who you are anymore, Esme.

She didn’t deserve any kind of happiness, or friendship. All she deserved was living with herself. Living with the stranger she’d become.

“Well, I have a bit of work to do tomorrow. I better hit the hay,” she said awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck and trying not to look at him.

“Yeah, of course. I …” Carson said, trying to excuse himself when there was banging on her front door. Incessant and urgent.

“Who in the world?”

“Just stay here.” Carson pushed her down into her chair, letting her know that he wanted her to stay put, before he headed out to the front door.

“As if,” she mumbled, following him.

“I told you to stay in the exam room,” he whispered as he stood in front of the door.

She crossed her arms. “You don’t know Krav Maga. I do.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

Esme stood on her tiptoes and peered around him. When he opened the door a man let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank God I found you, Doc Ralston.”

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Carson asked, stepping aside to let the man in.

The man, Harry, was sweating and dirty, dressed in heavy denim, with thick work boots and leaving a trail of wood chips on her floor. He nodded to her. “Dr. Petersen.”

“How can we help you … Harry, is it?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He was twisting a ball cap in his hands and it looked as if he was in shock. “There’s been an accident at Bartholomew’s Mill.”

“An accident?” Carson asked. “What kind?”

“Jenkins had a nasty incident with a saw, but there’s bad smoke from a remote forest fire and we can’t get a chopper in to airlift him to a hospital and paramedics are still two hours away.”

Esme reeled at that information. She knew they were far off the beaten path, but medical help was two hours away? Why wasn’t there a hospital closer?

“Let’s go. I’ll go grab my emergency medical kit.” Carson slapped Harry on the shoulder. “I hope you don’t mind driving, Harry. You know those logging roads better than me in the dark.”

“No problem, Dr. Ralston.”

“Can I help?” Esme asked.

Carson nodded. “Grab as many suture kits as you can.”

Esme panicked. “Hospitals take care of suturing. We’re not surgeons.”

Carson shook his head. “Not around here. I hope you have some surgical skills. We’re going to need them.”

Harry and Carson disappeared into the night. Esme’s stomach twisted in a knot. Suturing? Surgery? This wasn’t what she’d signed up for.

When she’d moved here she’d put that all behind her. She wasn’t a surgeon.

No.

Then she thought of Avery. Her brother bleeding out under her hands. She was being foolish. They needed her help. Someone was in pain. This wasn’t an OR. She would make sure she wouldn’t freeze up. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. This was about sustaining a man’s life until paramedics arrived. Esme rushed into her supply room, grabbed a rucksack and began to pack it full of equipment. Her hands shaking as she grabbed the suture kit.

I can do this.

Besides, she might not even have to stitch him.

Carson could handle it and nothing was going to happen.

This man wouldn’t die.

This wasn’t a surgery case. At least she hoped it wasn’t.

CHAPTER THREE

ESME BIT HER lip in worry as they slowly traversed some windy hills up into the mountains. At least that was what she assumed by the bumps and the climbs that tried the engine of Harry’s truck. She couldn’t see anything.

She’d thought she knew what pitch-black was.

The sky was full of clouds and smoke from a forest fire, which Carson had assured her wasn’t any threat to them. California had wild fires, but not really in Los Angeles, at least not when she was there. Then again, she wasn’t a native Californian.

Fire, wilderness, bears, this existence was all new to her, but then this was what she wanted after all. This was a big wide place she could easily blend in. She was small here. A place she could hide, because who in their right mind would come looking for her here?

A large bump made her grip the dashboard tighter. She was wedged between Harry and Carson as they took the logging road deep into the camp.

Another bump made her hiss and curse under her breath.

Carson glanced at her. “You’re mighty tense.”

“Just hoping we don’t die.”

Harry chuckled. “We’re not on the edge of a cliff. Our only threat is maybe a rock slide or a logging truck careening down the road, but since there are no trucks running we’re pretty safe.”

“I’ll keep telling myself that we’re safe, Harry.”

He shook his head, probably at the folly of a city girl. Only it was a dark night like this when Avery had died. She’d only been ten years old, but the memory of her brother’s gaping chest wound was still fresh. The feel of his exposed heart under her small hands, the warmth of his blood felt fresh. It was why she’d wanted to be a cardio-thoracic surgeon.

Why she’d worked so hard to be the best, because Avery had been a constant in her parents’ strained marriage. Even though he’d been twelve years older than her.

He’d been her best friend and when he’d died, her world had been shattered. So she’d dedicated her life to surgery.

The nightmares of his death faded away but nights like this made it all rush back.

Carson slipped an arm around her shoulders and then leaned over. “Relax. You’re okay.”

She glanced at his arm around hers and she wanted to shrug it off, but it felt good there. Reassuring. It made her feel safe and she wished she could snuggle in. Esme let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in trepidation and leaned back against the seat, shrugging off Carson’s arm. She could handle this. Alone.

“So what happened again, Harry?” Carson asked.

“Jenkins was overtired and nervous. Our new client, Mr. Draven, was headed out our way tomorrow. One wrong move and …” Harry trailed off.

Esme froze at the mention of the name Draven.

Dammit.

Though it couldn’t be Dr. Draven, her former mentor. Eli was a cardio-thoracic surgeon. Still the name sent dread down her spine.

Draven was a common name. So there was no way it would be Eli or Shane. Dr. Draven had money, but he invested it in medicine and science. All of Shane’s money was tied up in his company. She doubted he would invest in lumber or a hotel in Montana.

Harry slowed the truck down and she could see light through the trees as the forest thinned out. There were floodlights everywhere and people milling around one of the buildings, which looked like an administrative building. Harry pulled up right in front of it.

Carson opened the door and jumped out, reaching into the back to grab their supplies. Esme followed suit, trying to ignore all the eyes on them as they made their way into the building. The moment the door opened they could hear a man screaming in pain.

Esme forgot all the trepidation about anyone recognizing her. That all melted away. Adrenaline fueled her now as she headed toward the man in pain. There was blood, but it wasn’t the damage done by the saw that caught her attention. It was his neck, and as she bent over the man she could see the patient’s neck veins were bulging as he struggled, or rather as his heart struggled to beat. Only it was drowning.

She’d seen it countless times when she was a resident surgeon, before she’d chosen her specialty. Before she’d become a surgeon to the stars. First she had to confirm the rest of Beck’s Triad, before she even thought about trying to right it.

She didn’t want to freeze up. Not here. Not in her new start.

“Dave, you’re going to be fine,” Carson said, trying to soothe the patient. Only Dave Jenkins couldn’t hear him. “It doesn’t look like he’s lost a lot of blood.”

“He’s lost blood,” she said, trying not to let her voice shake.

Just not externally.

Carson took off his jacket, rolling up his sleeves to inspect the gash on Dave’s right arm. “It’s deep, but hasn’t severed any arteries.”

The wound had been put in a tourniquet, standard first aid from those trained at the mill. It wasn’t bleeding profusely. It would need cleaning and a few stitches to set it right.

“That’s not the problem.” Esme pulled out her stethoscope.

Carson cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Really.” She peered down at Dave. His faceplate, his eyes rolling back into his head. He was in obstructive shock. “Who saw what happened? There’s more than a gash to the arm going on here.”

“A piece of timber snapped back and hit Dave here.” Esme glanced up as the man pointed to his sternum.

“The gash came after?” she asked.

“No, before, but Dave didn’t get out of the way and he didn’t shut off the machine after the first malfunction. He was overtired—”

“Got it.” Esme cut him off. She bent over and listened. The muffled heart sounds were evident. A wall of blood drowning out the rhythmic diastole and systole of the heart. Drowning it. Cursing under her breath, she quickly took his blood pressure, but she knew when the man pointed to his sternum what was wrong.

Cardiac tamponade.

Dave wouldn’t survive the helicopter coming. He probably wouldn’t have survived the trip to the hospital.

“What’s his blood pressure?” Carson asked.

“Ninety over seventy. He’s showing signs of Beck’s Triad.”

“Cardiac tamponade?”

Esme nodded and rifled through her rucksack, finding the syringe she needed and alcohol to sterilize. “I have to aspirate the fluid from around his heart.”

“Without an ultrasound?” Carson asked. “How can …? Only trained trauma surgeons can do that.”

Esme didn’t say anything. She wasn’t a trauma surgeon, though she worked in an ER during her residency. She’d done this procedure countless times. She was, after all, the cardio God. She knew the heart. It was her passion, her reason for living. She loved everything about the heart. She loved its complexities, its mysteries.

She knew the heart. She loved the heart.

Or at least she had.

“It’s okay. I’ve done this before. Once.”

She was lying. She’d done this countless times. She’d learned the procedure from Dr. Draven. It was a signature move of his that he taught only a select few, but they didn’t need to know that. How many general practitioners performed this procedure multiple times? Not many.

“Once?”

“I really don’t have time to explain. It’s preferable to have an ultrasound, but we don’t have one. I need to do this or he’ll die. Open his shirt.”

Carson cut the shirt open, exposing Dave’s chest where a bruise was forming on the sternum.

You can do this.

“I need two men to hold him in case he jerks, and he can’t. Not when I’m guiding a needle into the sac around his heart.”

There were a couple of gasps, but men stepped forward, holding the unconscious Dave down.

Esme took a deep breath, swabbed the skin and then guided the needle into his chest. She visualized the pericardial sac in her head, remembering from the countless times she’d done this every nuance of the heart and knowing when to stop so she didn’t penetrate the heart muscle. She pulled back on the syringe and it filled with blood, the blood that was crushing the man’s heart. The blood that the heart should’ve been pumping through with ease, but instead was working against him, to kill him.

Carson watched Esme in amazement. He’d never encountered Beck’s Triad before. Well, not since his fleeting days as an intern. It was just something he didn’t look for as a family practitioner. Cardiac tamponade was usually something a trauma surgeon saw because a cardiac tamponade was usually caused by an injury to the heart, by blunt force, gunshot or stab wound.

Those critical cases in Crater Lake, not that there were many, were flown out to the hospital. How did Esme know how to do that? It became clear to Carson that she hadn’t been a family practitioner for very long. She was a surgeon before, but why was she hiding it?

Why would she hide such a talent?

It baffled him.

Because as he watched her work, that was what he saw. Utter talent as she drained the pericardial sac with ease. She then smiled as she listened with her stethoscope.

“Well?” Carson asked, feeling absolutely useless.

“He’ll make it to the hospital, but he’ll need a CT and possibly surgery depending on the extent of his injuries.”

There was a whir of helicopter blades outside and Harry came running in. “The medics are here to fly him to the hospital.”

Esme nodded. “I’ll go talk to them. Pack the wound on his arm.”

Carson just nodded and watched her as she disappeared outside with Harry. She was so confident and sure of herself. She had been when he’d first met her, but this was something different. It reminded him of Danielle. Whenever she was on the surgical floor Danielle was a totally different person.

Actually, Carson found most surgeons to be arrogant and so sure of everything they did, but then they’d have to be. Lives were in their hands. Not that lives weren’t in his hands, but it was a different scale.

Carson rarely dealt with the traumatic.

He turned to Dave’s wound and cleansed it, packing it with gauze to protect it on his journey to the nearest hospital.

Esme rounded the corner and behind her were two paramedics. He could still hear the chopper blades rotating; they were going to pack him and get out fast, before smoke from the forest fires blew back in this direction and inhibited their takeoff.

Esme was still firing off instructions as they carefully loaded Dave onto their stretcher and began to hook up an IV and monitors to him. Carson helped slip on the oxygen mask. They moved quick, and he followed them outside as they ran with the gurney to the waiting chopper.

Esme stood back beside him, her arm protecting her face from the dust kicking up. There was no room on the chopper for them and they weren’t needed anymore. The paramedics could handle Dave and he’d soon be in the capable hands of the surgeons at the hospital.

As the door to the chopper slammed it began to lift above the mill, above the thinned forest and south toward the city. Once the helicopter was out of sight, Esme sighed.

“Well, that was more excitement than I was preparing for tonight.”

“You were amazing in there,” Carson stated. “Was your previous general practice in a large city? I rarely see cardiac tamponades in my clinic. Or did you work at a hospital under a cardio-thoracic surgeon? The way you handled that I’m surprised you didn’t become a cardio-thoracic surgeon. You had the steady hand of an experienced surgeon.”

Esme’s eyes widened and she bit her lip, before shrugging. “Sure, yeah, a cardio-thoracic surgeon mentor. So where’s Harry gone? I really want to get back home. It’s getting late. I better get my things.”

She turned and headed back into the building, her arms wrapped tight around her lithe body.

Carson sighed and followed her and helped her clean up. She didn’t engage him in any further discussion about the matter. They just disposed of soiled material and bagged up the rest of their stuff.

“Docs, I have the truck ready. I can take you back to town now,” Harry said as he wandered into the room.

“Thanks, Harry.” Carson glanced at Esme, who seemed to have relaxed and returned to herself. “You ready to go, Dr. Petersen?”

“Yes. I’m exhausted!” She smiled. “Thanks for taking us back to town, Harry.”

Harry shrugged. “It’s no problem. I don’t stay up here at the camp. I’m local.”

“Oh, you’re local, all right, Harry,” Carson teased as he picked up his bag. Harry just chuckled and they followed him out of the admin building to his pickup truck.

Now that the excitement had died down, workers were headed back to their bunks or back to the mill to work. He could hear the saws starting up again.

Esme climbed into the middle and Carson slid in beside her.

Harry turned the ignition and then rolled down his window, to lean his elbow out the side. “Yeah, the guys are a bit stressed around here. Mr. Draven is coming here tomorrow morning to inspect the mill. It’s got the boss Bartholomew on edge. With the Draven contract for his resort that will mean a lot of work. A lot of money.”

“What’s Mr. Draven’s first name?” There was an edge to Esme’s voice.

“Silas. He’s a big hotel mogul from out east,” Harry said.

“East?” There was a bit of relief in her voice.

“Do you know Mr. Draven?” Carson asked.

“N-no. Just heard of him. The name sounded familiar, but I don’t know Silas Draven.”

Somehow Carson knew that was a lie, just by the nervous tone to Esme’s voice and the way she’d sounded so relieved.

“He’s never come to the mill before,” Harry remarked. “I mean, he’s a big rich investor. Doesn’t know much about lumber mills other than what his advisors tell him, but I suspect it has something to do with competing. There’s untapped tourist resources.”

“Another hotel?” Carson asked.

Great.

It was supposed to be a simple resort community. Small and unique. Every time he heard something new about it, it was spiraling out of control. Perhaps it was the competitors that Luke had been taking up into the mountains to do surveying. More change.

Change can be good.

Only he didn’t believe that. Change only brought heartache, disaster.

Temptation.

And he glanced over at Esme, sitting beside him in the dark. She was definitely a temptation.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Fine.”

“You’re scowling.”

“I’m not. Besides, how can you tell? It’s pitch-black out there.”

“There’s a moon and the dashboard light.”

Indeed, in the flicker of light he could see her smiling at him, her eyes twinkling in the dark, and he couldn’t help but smile, even though he didn’t feel like it at the moment. Even though he knew nothing about her, being around her tonight had been a bit magical. It had been exciting and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt such a rush.

Don’t think about her like that.

“Do you think Dave will make it?” Harry asked, breaking through his thoughts.

“He should. Once he’s in the hands of a capable cardio-thoracic surgeon.” Esme leaned against the seat. “Which I’m not.”

“You said that with such force,” Carson said. “You really want to be clear that you’re not a cardio-thoracic surgeon.”

Her smile disappeared. “Because I’m not. I’m just lucky enough to have had the chance to perform that a couple of times.”

“I thought it was only once?”

Esme stiffened. “Once was an understatement.”

“Clearly, because the way you executed that procedure was superb. In fact, it looked like you’d been doing that for quite some time. Especially since you executed it without the use of an ultrasound.”

Esme snorted. “I’m just a general practitioner and I did what I had to do to save a man’s life. Can we drop the interrogation?”

“I’m not interrogating you.”

She shrugged. “I’ve told you I’ve done it a couple of times. I guess I was lucky—really there was no other choice. Dave would’ve died had I not performed it then and there.”

“You’re right. Let’s drop it.”

“Good.”

Carson turned and looked out the window, not that there was anything to see in the dark, on a logging road, in the middle of the forest, but he didn’t feel like engaging in small talk with Esme. She was maddening.

It was clear to Carson by the way she wasn’t looking at him and the way her body became tense that she wasn’t too keen on discussing the matter further. What was she hiding?

Why do you care?

Perhaps because he’d been duped by a female before.

Working at your dad’s practice sounds great! I would love to.

Then of course Danielle’s tune had changed.

This is never what I wanted. You didn’t give me much of a choice.

Not that he should care if Esme was lying to him. Let her have her secrets. It didn’t matter. They weren’t involved, they weren’t colleagues and they certainly weren’t friends. They were just two doctors in the same, sleepy small town.

That was it.

CHAPTER FOUR

ESME MANAGED TO avoid Carson for two weeks after working up on the mountain. She just decided it was in everyone’s best interest if she laid low. Less questions to be asked that way. She knew Carson didn’t believe her lies.

Great.

Why did that accident have to happen in front of Carson? She was here to be a simple physician. Not a surgeon, but then if she hadn’t been there, Dave would’ve died. He wouldn’t have made it to the hospital.

So she’d done the right thing, even if it had meant she’d had to perform a surgical procedure in front of Carson. Something she’d sworn she wasn’t going to do when she got to Crater Lake.

The best solution was to avoid Carson for a while.

Which was why Esme was standing in the produce section of a big chain grocery store two towns away, staring at a pile of cantaloupes.

Run.

That was what she was telling herself, or at least the cowardly voice in her head was telling her.

Where?

That she didn’t know. She couldn’t go home to her father. He’d made it clear that her running away was not the answer. That was what her mother had done. After Avery’s death, she’d packed up and run away.

I’ve been a wife and mother. It’s time for me. I gave up my life for you.

It had broken her father’s heart. He’d lost a son and wife in the same year.

Now a daughter.

Ever since she’d left Los Angeles her father had made it clear how disappointed he was in her, so she was the last person her father wanted to see. She was just a big failure.

“Nice melons.”

Esme shook her head and looked up to see Carson standing on the other side of the counter of cantaloupes.

“What?” she asked in disbelief.

He grinned and then rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, it was just a joke. You were staring so intently at the produce I thought you were trying to see through it.”

Esme chuckled when she realized she had been staring at the cantaloupes for a long time. “Sorry, lost in thought. What’re you doing here? I thought you went to the co-op in Crater Lake?”

“I usually do, but I was in town visiting a friend and remembered I needed a few things.” He walked around the produce counter to stand beside her. “I thought you usually shopped locally? I didn’t even know you had a car.”

“I don’t. I took the bus down here.” She picked up a melon and sniffed it, hoping this would be the end of the conversation, that he would get the hint to walk away. Instead he lingered.

Damn. Take a hint.

Carson whistled. “That’s a pricey ticket to go grocery shopping.”

Esme shrugged. “Didn’t have a choice.”

“The local co-op is a choice.”

“The prices here are better?”

Carson smiled. “Why did you pose that in the form of a question? I doubt they’re low enough to justify the price of a bus ticket.”

“Are you really going to sit here and lecture me about my shopping habits?”

“No, but I can offer you a ride back to Crater Lake at the very least.”

Say no.

Only she couldn’t, because she really didn’t want to lug all her groceries on the passenger bus back up to Crater Lake. And after this one excursion she knew she’d either have to invest in a car or just pluck up the courage to shop at the co-op, because she obviously couldn’t avoid Carson even two towns away.

“Thanks. I appreciate that.” She pushed her shopping cart away from the melons and Carson fell into step beside her.

“I haven’t seen you around much,” Carson remarked.

“I’ve been busy.”

“I saw that Mrs. Fenolio is now one of your patients.”

Esme sighed. “Are you going to start on me about stealing your patients again?”

“No. I’m not. Honestly, I’m glad that she’s headed over to you. You seem to have more of a grasp of cardio-thoracic care.”

Her heart skipped a beat.

Oh, God. Had he found out?

“Who told you that?”

“I saw it with my own eyes, Esme. Only someone with cardio-thoracic knowledge would be able to perform that procedure in that kind of situation. I think you’ve done that more than once or even a couple of times.”

He was really persisting about the procedure. He was digging for information, information she didn’t want to share. Information she wasn’t going to share. It was in her past. She was here to start a new life. She wasn’t that person any longer.

“I must have really impressed you.”

“Well … yes.” And he looked away quickly, rubbing the back of his neck again, as if he was embarrassed. As if he didn’t want to give her a compliment.

“It was nothing. Now, about Mrs. Fenolio …”

“She’s your patient now and you’re the expert.”

“I’m not. Not really.”

Liar.

“Besides, she’s only moved over her cardio care to me. How long has she had that murmur?”

“Do you really want to talk about this in a grocery store?” Carson asked as he picked up a loaf of bread and plunked it into her cart.

“Since when am I buying you groceries?” Esme teased.

“It’s my fee for taking you back to Crater Lake. You can buy me my sandwiches for a week.”

Esme chuckled. “I’m so disappointed.”

“Why?”

“You’re a sandwich man.”

“What’s wrong with liking sandwiches?” he asked.

“Nothing per se, but I’m a bit of a foodie.”

Carson snorted. “Right, I forgot you’re from Los Angeles.”

“You don’t have to be from LA to be a foodie. You can be from small towns, too. Not that I expect many people from Crater Lake to have many options.”

“What’re you talking about?” he asked.

“Oh, come on. Ray’s is a fantastic Mom and Pop shop, but it’s hardly gourmet.”

“We have gourmet in Crater Lake,” he said, sounding mildly insulted.

Esme looked skeptical. “Do you?”

“We do, but it’s a bit of a secret.”

“A secret?”

“Would you be interested in sampling a dinner there? I mean, since you’re such a gourmand.”

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