She squealed with laughter, dipping to gather more snow.

But before she could straighten again he was in front of her, pummeling her with snow. She gasped and inhaled a mouthful of sparkling wet crystals. Unable to breathe, she squealed, “Stop!”

He laughed. “I told you not to start something you couldn’t finish.”

But, rather than concede defeat, she used his pause to bend again, scoop up a handful of snow and toss it directly into his face.

His expression was so incredulous that Elise roared with laughter.

“Oh, this is war now.”

Before she could bob down to gather more snow, Jared plowed toward her, catching her around the waist. He hit her with enough force that she lost her balance, and they both tumbled to the ground.

She managed one squeak on the way down, but when they landed with a thump—her in the blanket of soft white snow, him on top of her—her laughter stopped. The world around them hushed. The only sound was the rasp of their breathing.

Susan Meier spent most of her twenties thinking she was a job-hopper—until she began to write and realised everything that came before was only research! One of eleven children, with twenty-four nieces and nephews and three kids of her own, Susan has had plenty of real-life experience watching romance blossom in unexpected ways. She lives in Western Pennsylvania with her wonderful husband, Mike, three children, and two over-fed, well-cuddled cats, Sophie and Fluffy. You can visit Susan’s website at www.susanmeier.com

Dear Reader

Every year after my son hauls the Christmas decorations into the living room, I look at the pitiful assortment and announce that next year we’re starting earlier and having a better tree.

Then I proceed to hang the toilet paper roll my daughter decorated with green paint, glitter and tinsel in pre-kindergarten in the middle, where everyone can see it.

I hang the ornament with the picture of my son when he was about seven. I hang the fancy silk and lace ornament with pearl hatpin accents my friend made me, and the light-up star that hasn’t worked in years, but which we bought on Christmas Eve in a year when we had very little money.

This year, though, I realised I wasn’t simply hanging ornaments. I was reviewing Christmases past. Seeing memories. Seeing my kids smaller and my husband younger…and myself scrambling to pull everything together so Christmas would be perfect.

I’ve got friends with Victorian trees so beautiful they’ve stolen my breath. Friends with houses decorated to rival Trump Towers. This year I finally realised I’ll always have a tree with old toilet paper rolls and pictures pasted onto ornaments by loving little hands.

May your days be merry and bright…and may all your Christmases be filled with toilet paper rolls, icing-painted cookies and memories that warm your heart.

Susan

HER BABY’S FIRST CHRISTMAS

BY

SUSAN MEIER

www.millsandboon.co.uk

For Denise Meyers and Deb Mullins, who were with

me every step of the way on this one! And the 2007

Jumpstart Master Class at the beach house in

South Carolina. Especially Karen Dodd,

who taught me how to make Jambalaya! I miss you all!

CHAPTER ONE

JARED JOHNSON drove his black SUV out of the basement parking garage of Clover Valley Luxury Apartments onto the street and saw Elise McDermott standing on the corner in the pouring rain. Suitcase, diaper bag and small boxlike container on the sidewalk beside her feet, she held her baby in a carrier, which she protectively sheltered with her umbrella.

But the storm was relentless and Jared suspected it wouldn’t take more than a minute or two before Elise and her baby would be soaking wet. Angry with her for standing in the rain with a baby, when she could be in their building lobby, he stopped his SUV and hit the button that lowered the passenger side window.

Leaning across his seat, he yelled, “What the hell are you doing out in this storm with a baby!”

“I’m waiting for a taxi to take me to the bus station.”

With the window down he could hear the heavy California rain as it pounded his windshield, roof and hood. Obviously thinking he’d yelled to be heard over the noise and not out of anger, she stepped closer. Her pretty green eyes were dull with worry. Her thick, curly red hair danced around her in the wind.

“But I’ve been waiting a while. And the schedule I have has the bus leaving in a little over an hour. If I miss it I won’t get to North Carolina in time to do everything I need to do before Christmas. Do you think my taxi forgot me?”

“Yes!” Guilt stabbed him. She wasn’t standing in the rain like a ninny with no place to go. It sounded as if she was on her way home for the holiday. To her real home. Not a condo she was house-sitting as she’d been for the past six months for Michael Feeney while he was in Europe. And her taxi had forgotten her. She wasn’t a scatterbrain. He had to stop jumping to the conclusion that everybody who did anything out of the realm of what he considered normal was somehow wrong.

Annoyed with himself, he sighed and glanced at his watch before he shoved his gearshift into Park. He was way too early for his flight anyway.

He jumped out of his SUV and rounded the hood. He knew from experience there was only one way to deal with his guilt. Penance.

“How about if I give you a ride to the bus station?”

Elise McDermott stared at dark-haired, gray-eyed, absolutely gorgeous Jared Johnson. He wore an expensive raincoat over a dark suit, white shirt and tie, and was currently getting drenched because he didn’t have an umbrella. When she agreed to house-sit for Michael Feeney, Michael had told her Jared was the person to call if anything happened while he was away. He’d laughingly said Jared was grouchy but once he got over being disturbed, he would always come through, if only out of guilt. Jared had probably offered her a ride because he’d felt bad about yelling at her.

“I’d love a ride, but you’re obviously on your way somewhere and I don’t want to be any trouble.”

He reached for her suitcase. “No trouble.”

She put her hand over his on the handle. “I’m serious. You were going somewhere and I don’t like to be a bother.” He might want to make up for yelling at her, but he didn’t have to. Being alone and pregnant she’d learned to stand on her own two feet. She didn’t need to be coddled. “I’ll call another cab.”

“I’m on my way to the airport. But I’m early. Way too early. You’ll be doing me a favor if you let me make the side trip to the bus station. I won’t have to sit in the airport lounge for three hours.”

“But—”

Before she could argue any further, he pulled on the suitcase, easily wrestling it away from her. “Come on.”

She opened her mouth to stop him, but the wind caught her umbrella and she couldn’t hold it. The rush of air jerked the handle out of her grip and it took off like a kite.

He nodded at the baby seat. “You buckle her in,” he said, shouting over the noise of the storm as he began walking to the rear of the SUV. “I’ll put these in the back.”

She shook her head. Lord, he was persistent—and she was getting drenched. Since he was offering to do what she’d have to pay a cab to do, she supposed she’d be foolish to argue.

By the time he had her gear stowed, she was almost done with the baby. She clicked the final strap, shut the back door and settled into the passenger seat of his SUV. He slid behind the steering wheel and closed the door. Suddenly it was blessedly dry and quiet.

He hit the buttons to activate the heater and she glanced at all bells and whistles in his obviously expensive vehicle. “Wow. It’s so quiet in here.”

“That’s one of the car’s selling points. It’s quiet.”

“Yeah, quiet and…wonderful. Holy cow. This must have cost a chunk of change.”

“It’s nothing compared to the things my clients drive.”

“It might be nothing compared to your clients’ rides—” According to the building rumor mill, the guy in the penthouse—as Jared was known to most of the residents—was the attorney for several recording artists, one recording studio and a few movie stars, so she didn’t doubt his clients drove incredibly fancy cars. “But compared to the rest of us, you’re sitting pretty.”

Her praise seemed to make him uncomfortable and he shifted on his seat. His jaw tightened. “I wasn’t always well-off.”

Because she didn’t know him, had only seen him a few times in the lobby waiting for the elevator to his penthouse, she had no idea why he’d be upset to have money. But since she’d never see him again, it didn’t matter. He was who he was. Rich. She was who she was—a single mom without an extra cent to spare. Six years ago when her mother died she’d left North Carolina with her boyfriend Patrick with big dreams, but she’d ended up supporting him. When she’d gotten pregnant he’d left as if his feet were on fire. She and Jared Johnson had nothing in common and there was no sense pretending they did by making mindless small talk.

She settled into the bucket seat and closed her eyes. Besides, she had a few things to think about. She was returning to North Carolina, but not the small town she grew up in. She’d inherited her grandmother’s house in the town right beside it. She was going to the hometown of her father. The guy who had left her mom. The guy she didn’t even know. And she wasn’t sure whether the good people of Four Corners, North Carolina, would welcome her with open arms, or treat her like the plague. She only knew the grandmother she’d never met had left her a piece of property. A place she could sell, hopefully for enough money to buy a home to raise her baby.

The same grandmother who hadn’t even wanted to meet her, hadn’t acknowledged her as her kin, had given her her first break in life.

And she’d be a fool not to take it.

Suddenly the SUV was so quiet Jared could hear his own breathing. This was a bad idea. Elise was virtually a stranger and here they were, trapped in a car for at least twenty minutes, with nothing to talk about. He fixed his eyes on the road, occasionally glancing at the shops lining the street, then he saw the Christmas tree in front of Meg’s Memory Mart, growing in a pot big enough to accommodate a four-foot fir, covered in blinking lights and tinsel. His heart caught. His breath shivered.

Stop.

She’s gone.

He shifted on the seat, struggling to rein in a flood of memories. He had to get a hold of himself now, before his plane landed in New York. If he didn’t, his pain would be infinitely worse when he got to the city where every damned thing on every damned street would remind him of the absolutely perfect life he’d lost. He couldn’t cancel his trip. After five years of his finding excuses not to come home, his parents had threatened to come to California with their friend “the shrink” if he backed out this year. They didn’t think it was natural for him to stay away as long as he had. They thought he was just a little bit crazy. He had to show them he was okay.

Even if he wasn’t a hundred percent sure he was.

Blocking that last thought, he fixed his mind on upcoming contract negotiations for one of his clients, and the rest of the drive to the bus station passed in silence. He pulled up to the curb and Elise eagerly jumped out when he stopped the car. He climbed out of his side of the vehicle and headed for the back of the SUV.

“Here,” he said, grabbing her suitcase before she could. “I’ll get these. You get the baby.”

“That’s okay. I can handle it.”

“I’m sure you can. But I’ve got plenty of time. Think of this as part of the way I’m wasting those three hours before my flight.”

She rolled her eyes but strode to the side of his vehicle, letting him unload her things. He added her six-pack-size cooler and diaper bag to the suitcase he already had, and walked to the passenger’s side of the SUV where she was getting her baby from the backseat.

She arranged the baby carrier in her right hand and motioned for him to slide the straps for the diaper bag and cooler to her shoulder. “I’ll take those.”

She wasn’t going to let him help her into the bus station? That was ridiculous. She could barely carry all these things.

Still, rather than argue, he said, “Okay,” and slid the bag and cooler in place before setting the suitcase at her feet for her to take. Then he surprised her by removing the baby carrier handle from her right hand. “I’ll take the baby.”

“We’re fine.”

“I’m sure you are, but I’m happy to hold her while you get your tickets.”

“I’m—”

“I know. Fine. But I have time and I can use it to save you the trouble of juggling the baby while you buy your bus tickets.”

“You know, you wouldn’t have to pay penance for the guilt you feel when you yell at people if you’d simply stop yelling at people.”

It surprised him that she caught on to the guilt and penance thing he had going and that unexpectedly struck him as funny. Despite himself, he smiled. “Why do you think I usually just don’t talk to people?”

“I thought you were a snob.”

That made him out-and-out laugh. She gave him a strange look, but turned away and marched into the bus station. He followed, glancing down at the baby in the carrier. “Hey, Molly.”

The chubby, curly-haired baby grinned at him, her toothless gums exposed, spit bubbles forming at the corner of her mouth. With her pale red hair, she looked adorable in her little pink one-piece outfit, bundled in blankets.

He strode to a bench seat, pleased Molly wasn’t giving him any trouble. But when Elise got in line, the baby began to fuss and then to cry. Two people took places behind Elise, putting her out of reach for assistance.

Cursing, he sat and began unbuckling the straps confining the unhappy baby. Passengers on the other benches around him turned and gave him pointed looks, letting him know how little they appreciated a crying baby in their midst.

“Hush, now. I’m going as fast as I can.”

The last snap popped and he pulled Molly from her seat. She immediately stopped crying and grinned toothlessly at him.

“Oh, I get it. You did that on purpose, didn’t you? Made me think you were going to make a scene when you only wanted me to pick you up?”

She cooed and her grin widened.

“Stop being cute. I’m immune.”

His stern voice caused her face to pucker as if she were about to cry again and, not wanting to risk the wrath of the waiting passengers, Jared rose to walk with her.

Pacing back and forth seemed to amuse her enough that she looked around curiously. Jared relaxed. Knowing he had to keep moving, he meandered to the large screen that displayed the schedules. He scanned until he saw the one for North Carolina and his mouth fell open.

Eight days?

It would take Elise eight days to get to North Carolina? He glanced at the people milling around the bus station. Eight days on a moving vehicle with the people currently giving him beady-eyed stares, obviously not at all pleased to see that they’d be traveling with a baby? Oh, Lord. Elise was in trouble.

He glanced at the screen again to be sure he’d seen correctly and he had. Eight long days to get to North Carolina. The bus had to be taking routes that would allow it to drop other passengers along the way. Driving himself, he’d traveled from New York City to Los Angeles in five days.

He frowned. He had driven it in five days. If he were to drive Elise, that would cut her trip nearly in half and get her out of the bus filled with passengers who didn’t want her. On top of that, those five days of driving would delay his arrival. He wouldn’t have to spend three weeks in a city that only reminded him of what he lost. He’d have a delay in seeing, hearing, smelling things in New York that would remind him of better days. Perfect days. The perfect life that slipped through his fingers. And then he could cut another five days off because he’d have to drive back to L.A.

He shook his head in bemusement. As good as that sounded, it was a bad idea. Not only was Elise going to North Carolina, hundreds of miles south of New York City, but how would he explain it to his parents? Out of the blue he’d decided to drive a neighbor the whole way to North Carolina for the holidays? Then for sure they’d think he was insane.

He watched Elise step out of the line, holding her ticket and for a second he envied her. Relief showed on her face, but of course, that mood wouldn’t last. Once the busload of passengers got fed up with her and her baby, she’d be miserable.

But he couldn’t simply offer her a ride. Even if they agreed to find a bus station for her in whatever city their paths separated, he still had to have a reason for driving instead of flying—one that didn’t sound like an obvious stall tactic to his parents.

Elise walked up to him and opened her arms for her baby. “What happened?”

“She cried.”

“Ah, she bullied you into picking her up.”

“That’s exactly what it felt like.”

“Well, your time of duty is up.” She smiled at him. “I’m sorry if I was a bit brusque before. I’m nervous about this trip.”

He glanced at his feet. “It’s all right.” He raised his gaze to meet hers. “I’m nervous about my trip, too.”

“So we have a little in common after all.”

“Yeah. That and Michael Feeney.”

“Michael’s been a good friend to me.”

Jared nodded. “Me, too.” He smiled at her, glad to have assuaged her worry over her missing the taxi by driving her to the bus station. “Have a nice trip.”

“And you have a safe flight.”

Jared nodded and turned to go at the same time that the loudspeaker crackled to life. “Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that trip number—”

The loudspeaker squeaked and crackled and Jared didn’t hear the number, but it didn’t matter. He headed for the wide, double-door entrance.

“—Final destination Raleigh, North Carolina, has been postponed due to mechanical difficulties and has been rescheduled for tomorrow at ten.”

Elise glanced down at her ticket, then squeezed her eyes shut. For heaven’s sake! Inheriting her grandmother’s house was supposed to be her lucky break. Yet everything that could go wrong with this trip was going wrong. What was she supposed to do for twenty-four hours in a bus station with a baby? Maybe she could get a ticket for the next bus?

She had the idea at the same time as everybody else in the bus station. Package-laden passengers jammed the ticket window.

She stared at them in dismay, until someone grabbed her arm and turned her around.

Jared.

He let go of her arm and rammed his fingers through his thick black hair. His gray eyes circled the complex as if the last thing he wanted to do was look at her. But eventually his gaze swung around, caught hers and held it.

“Is that your bus?”

“Yes, but don’t worry about it. I’ll call a cab and go to a hotel. Michael’s home. So I can’t go back to his condo. But Molly and I will be fine.”

“Not really.” He turned her to face the line of passengers mobbing the ticket window. “When your baby cried, those three women over there gave me dirty looks.” He turned her slightly to the right. “See that guy in the gray topcoat who looks like he has vodka for breakfast? When Molly fussed, he slammed his newspaper on the bench. They don’t want to be riding with a kid who is most likely going to cry at least part of the way.”

As Jared spoke, the noise and bustle of the bus terminal pressed in on Elise. She expected the trip to be long and boring. She even anticipated that people would get restless, maybe even edgy, but she hadn’t factored in their reactions to a fussy baby. She was about to spend eight days on a bus with a six-month-old who would probably cry most of the way. Forget about her own misery. It would be eight days in hell for everybody who rode with them.

She faced Jared again. “Why do you care?”

“I was thinking that maybe we should ride together.”

“You’re flying.”

“I was flying. Looking at the schedule over there, I decided that I want to drive instead.”

“Right. You want the trip to take a week instead of a few hours.”

“Actually I do.” He combed his fingers through his hair again. “Look, I’ll take you as far as I can until you have to head south, then I’ll help you find a bus station.”

The deal sounded like a good one, but it had also sounded perfectly logical when Patrick told her he was going upstate to look for work after she told him she was pregnant. Michael was the only person she’d dared to trust in months, and that trust had been hard won. She might have made the mistake of trusting Patrick too easily, but she wouldn’t do it again.

“No, thanks. I’m fine.”

He drew an annoyed breath. “Look, I don’t want to spend four weeks in New York with my parents badgering me about my life. Reading that schedule I figured out that I could shave ten days off my trip if I drove.”

She sighed. “Either your life is more pathetic than mine, or that’s a lame excuse to hide the fact that you feel sorry for me.”

He laughed. “Honey, if you think I feel sorry for you, then you don’t know me very well. I only do good deeds as penance. And right now I don’t have anything to make up to you. I did my good deeds for the time I yelled.”

Elise thought about that for a second, and then she smiled. “Your life is more pathetic than mine.” She shook her head. “You want to drive home, but you can’t just decide to drive. You need an excuse for your parents.”

He gave her a blank look. “Didn’t I just say that?”

“Sort of, but not really.” She laughed. “Molly and I are your excuse. You’re going to tell your parents that you’re driving a new mom and her baby home because their bus was canceled and they’re not going to question that.”

Again, he said nothing. But he didn’t have to. His bland expression confirmed her suspicion.

Elise glanced around the noisy bus station. Facing a day’s wait and not wanting to spend money on a hotel room, Elise was more than tempted to accept his offer.

She turned to him again. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“Trust me?”

“Yeah, how do I know you’re not going to leave me along the side of the road or something?”

“Why would I do that when you already figured out that I need you?”

She sighed in exasperation. “Because my mother warned me about getting into cars with strangers.”

“I’m not a stranger. We’ve seen each other at least once a week waiting for the elevator.”

“Yeah, and we’ve never spoken.”

“Fine. If you’re concerned, call Michael. He’ll vouch for me. Besides—” He glanced at the baby in her arms, but quickly brought his gaze back to Elise’s. “I don’t date, fool around with or even talk to women with kids. Even if I did, you’re not my type. You’re short. And puny. I like my women with a little meat on their bones.”

He looked at her again. His eyes made a quick journey across her face and down her slender torso. “You’re not my type.”

The man was so honest Elise wasn’t sure if she should be insulted or laugh. She glanced at Molly, who was calm in her arms, but who wouldn’t be so happy on a bus for eight days, then at dark-haired Jared, with his gorgeous face made of sharp angles and planes and eyes the color of the sky right before a storm. She might think he was one of the most handsome men in the world, but as he’d said, she wasn’t his type. Plus, Michael had told her that if she was ever in trouble, Jared was the guy to call. Though having a bus trip postponed wasn’t exactly trouble, if he was offering a ride, she’d be a fool not to take it.

“Give me five minutes to call Michael.”

“Take your time. The longer your call, the longer my delay.”

CHAPTER TWO

“MICHAEL says you’re as trustworthy as the three wise men.”

“Great. Let’s go.” Jared grabbed her suitcase, cooler and diaper bag and led her to the bench where he’d left the baby carrier. She laid Molly inside, but he didn’t even pause. He walked outside without her. She finished settling Molly, exited the bus terminal and saw him standing at the SUV, stashing her belongings in the rear compartment.

At his car, she opened the back door to install the baby carrier and Jared was suddenly at her side. “Here, let me.”

He reached for the seat belt at the same time Elise did. Their shoulders brushed then their arms, and then their fingers. A jolt of electricity sizzled through Elise. She froze, but so did Jared. He turned his head slightly to the right, catching her gaze with his serious gray eyes.

She didn’t even react. Jared was a very handsome, sexy guy. Of course, she was attracted to him. But she wasn’t going to do anything about it. And neither was he. She might be more “his type” than he let on, but he clearly didn’t want anything to do with her. And that was much, much better for two people about to spend several days in each other’s company, than giving in to a meaningless attraction.

She held his gaze blandly, as if what they’d felt meant nothing. His steely-gray eyes probed hers for another second or two then he turned away. Her breath streamed out of her lungs in a quiet swoosh of relief.

Once Molly was strapped in, Jared slammed the door, pulled open the passenger door for Elise and rounded the hood. As he slid behind the steering wheel, Elise buckled her seat belt. He started the car, and without a word they began their trip.

It didn’t take long to get onto a highway. California was riddled with them. But when he turned onto Route 5 north, Elise frowned.

“Why aren’t we going east?”

“Five takes us to Route 80, which will take me the entire way to New York City. If I’m remembering correctly you can ride with me as far as Pennsylvania and get a bus south.”

“Okay.” She didn’t know a lot about the road systems, but it seemed he did. “Sounds great.”

With the directions out of the way and Molly happily occupied in the backseat, the only sound in the SUV was the faint thwap of the windshield wipers. Jared shifted on his seat as if as uneasy as she was. But she didn’t think he was antsy because of the silence. A man who never even said hello while standing with her waiting for the elevator was probably more afraid that she would talk than she wouldn’t. So she said nothing, respecting his right to keep to himself.

They drove about twenty miles before the rain slowed to a drizzle. Jared flicked a switch and the low thwap, thwap, thwap of the wiper blades slowed, too, making the quiet in the car even more pronounced. Molly woke the second the sound changed, as if the comforting rhythm had soothed her and, without it, she couldn’t sleep.

Hearing her stir, Elise twisted on the seat to face her daughter. Though Molly was lying facing the back of the SUV, a mirror not only caught her reflection, but it also caught Elise’s for the baby. Molly glanced around as if disoriented, then screamed like a banshee.

“Hey, Molly. Hey, baby,” Elise crooned. “See. Your mama’s here. There’s no reason to cry.”

Molly stretched out her little arms to Elise’s reflection in the mirror, her cries echoing through the vehicle.

“We’re going to have to stop to feed her.”

“Stop?”

“Just pull to the side of the road. It only takes her five minutes to eat.”

He sighed. “Right.” But he pulled off the road.

He pulled off the road and, not wanting to annoy him or waste any time, she raced to the back of the SUV, got a bottle from the cooler, retrieved Molly from the car seat and quickly fed her, then burped her. Normally she would have spent a few extra minutes playing with her and talking to her, but wanting to keep the peace, she put Molly back into her seat, stowed the bottle in the little cooler and returned to the passenger side.

Jared immediately got them back on the road. “So how often does she need feeding?”

Elise winced. “Every three or four hours.”

“Do I have to watch the clock?”

Elise laughed. “No. Molly will remind us when she’s hungry.”

Jared didn’t reply. The song that had been playing softly in the background from the radio he’d turned on while she fed Molly suddenly became static as if they’d driven out of range of the station.

“I’ll find another channel.”

“Great.”

Elise set the dial for a country station, but rather than the twang of a country song, the joyful strains of Christmas carols filled the car. Jared reached down, pressed a button and soft rock poured from the speakers.

No surprise there. She’d already figured out he didn’t like Christmas.

He had lots of money but wasn’t happy, and he didn’t want to go home for Christmas but he had to. There was so much more to this man than met the eye, but Elise had no intention of probing. She had her own troubles to deal with. Getting to North Carolina three days sooner meant she’d get to Four Corners three days sooner. And she had no idea what kind of reception she’d get.

Had her grandmother ever mentioned her to people? Did anyone even know she existed? And why did her grandmother leave her the house when her father should have been the one to inherit it?

For all she knew her father could have had a falling out with his mother and she could be walking into the aftermath of that. Plus, he could have other children. She could have half brothers and sisters. Some might even live in Four Corners. Once they heard who inherited their grandmother’s property, they might also be angry about her being the one to get the farm.

Of course, they might welcome her into the family.

She squeezed her eyes shut. Hoping for that was just wrong. Not because it wasn’t in the realm of possibility, but because if she let herself believe it, she could end up hurt. And she’d had enough hurt in her life. Her dad had left. Her mom had died the summer after Elise graduated from high school. Patrick hadn’t wanted her. Or their baby.

So, no. She couldn’t handle any more disappointment and she wouldn’t hope for things that were at best wishful thinking.

She drew a breath, tried to shake off the fantasy that she might have family who wanted her, but it wouldn’t go away. She saw holiday celebrations in her head, gifts to buy and get from people who loved her, and maybe even Christmas morning at a home filled with love and laughter.

Of course, she could also spend Christmas morning listening to somebody scream at her that she didn’t deserve their grandmother’s land.

Hating her thoughts, she squelched a sigh. She’d managed not to think about any of this for the past month. But the silent car provided too much opportunity for her mind to feed her fears and her fantasies.

“How long do you think this trip will take?”

Jared flexed his hands on the steering wheel. “If I drive fast it’s four days. Normal speed it’s five.”

Four or five days until she faced her future. Maybe even her father. Maybe even a family.

Her stomach quaked. It seemed too soon. Yet four days was also a bit too long to sit in a silent car bouncing between fear and wishes.

At noon, Jared’s stomach growled and he took an exit ramp off the highway, suggesting they eat lunch. They ate an uneventful hamburger and fries in a fast food restaurant, and then got back on the road. Molly fell asleep almost instantly and Jared let the country music channel Elise had found fill the silent air.

At six o’clock, stiff from driving, he turned to Elise. “What do you say we stop for the night?”

She glanced up at the highway sign. “This is it? This is all the farther we’re going? We’re not even out of Nevada.”

Ignoring her protest, he said, “Watch the road signs. We’ll take the exit with the first hotel.”

“But it’s only six o’clock.”

“And my back is stiff.”

“I can drive.”

He peered at her. “Are you kidding? Do you think I’d give you my keys so you could forget to give them back and then drive away in the middle of the night with my SUV?”

She sighed. “You can’t be that distrustful.”

He turned his attention to the road again. “I know you’re eager to get home so I promise we’ll make better time tomorrow.”

She said, “Okay,” but Jared heard something odd in her voice and decided it was disappointment. Though he tried not to, he remembered times he had been eager to get home. He drew a breath, banishing the memories of homemade cookies sprinkled with sugar that MacKenzie had dyed red and green to make it more festive. Of welcome home kisses at the apartment door. Of cuddling together to stay warm in bed because the superintendent turned down the heat at night.

“There. Look.” Elise’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “There’s a hotel just off this exit.”

He maneuvered the big SUV down the ramp. When they reached the hotel, he drove under the portico, shut off his engine and jumped out of the car. Elise climbed out, too. She immediately opened the back door and freed Molly.

“Hey, kid,” Jared said as Elise walked up to him.

Molly sniffed and snuggled into her mother’s shoulder.

“She’s not quite awake enough to remember you,” Elise explained.

“I’m not offended.”

Jared made his reservation first, so he could take both Molly and the diaper bag from Elise. She opened her purse and pulled out a wallet and though Jared wasn’t one to be nosy, he couldn’t help noticing that she didn’t seem to have a lot of cash. Telling himself she probably had a bank card and a few large bills, rather than several smaller bills, he walked away, cooing to Molly who sniffled as if she wanted to cry.

“How much is it for a night… exactly?”

Hearing Elise’s question, Jared paced a bit farther away from the hotel desk. He remembered that same tone in Mackenzie’s voice when she asked the superintendent how much the rent was for their first apartment. Jared had been about to ask, but she beat him to it. She fancied herself their money manager. The memory of how bad she was with finances made him laugh, and then pinched his chest with wrenching pain.

He immediately pushed those thoughts aside, diverting his attention to Elise for the distraction. But remembering how embarrassing it was to need to know to the exact penny how much something cost, he took a few more steps away. Even then he heard her asking for the cheapest room and groaning when the desk clerk told her that all the rooms were priced the same. A price that was obviously too high for her.

Jared wanted to kick himself for not considering cost when he chose a place to stop for the night, but he also couldn’t go over and tell her that they could drive some more until they found a less expensive place. That would only embarrass her more. He considered paying for her hotel room, but knew she wouldn’t accept that, either. The woman was a walking pillar of pride. She clearly didn’t like taking help.

But her situation reminded him so much of himself and MacKenzie at the beginning of their marriage that he couldn’t simply ignore her. He hadn’t minded doing without, but he’d hated that MacKenzie had spent the last years of her life gazing longingly through storefront windows at things she couldn’t have. And Elise was a new mom. No new mom should be broke. If Jared knew the name of the man who had deserted her with a baby, he’d kick the guy’s behind.

But he couldn’t. He didn’t even know if the guy had left Elise or if it had been her decision not to tell her baby’s father she was pregnant. For all he knew, Elise might have never even told Molly’s dad he was a father. She was an independent thing—

He stopped his thoughts. None of this was any of his business.

Key card in hand, she approached him with a smile, pretending everything was fine. “All set.”

He pretended, too. “All set.”

She reached for Molly, but he said, “I’m okay with Molly. We’ll get you settled in your room first, and then I’ll take my stuff to my room and park the car.”

At the SUV he gave her the baby so he could take her suitcase, diaper bag and cooler. “What’s in this?”

“Her milk, some juice, some baby cereal. I have crackers and cookies in my suitcase for me. So if you get hungry or feel like a cookie, I have some.”

He again thought of MacKenzie’s red and green sugar-covered cookies and the deep breath he took shivered in his lungs. But his voice was calm when he said, “I’m not much of a cookie guy anymore.”

“Okay. But just in case.”

Knowing she needed the assurance that he didn’t think himself too good for her things, he nodded, and then followed her to her room, watching as she inserted the key and opened the door all without causing Molly to stir.

She walked in, looking around as if she’d never seen a hotel room before. “Wow! This is a great room.”

He glanced at the room. At best it was adequate.

“I can see why it cost so much.”

And the price, while not low, certainly wasn’t high.

But—as he’d already reminded himself—Elise and her finances were none of his business. He handed Molly to Elise and headed for the door. “Good night.”

“Good night, Jared.”

But when he reached the door, she said, “And Jared?”

He paused, facing her again.

“Thanks. I know you’re delaying your trip to New York for your own reasons, but giving us a ride saved me a lot of headaches. I really appreciate it.”

Something inside Jared stirred. It wasn’t the first time anyone had thanked him in the past five years, but this was the first time being thanked had made him feel good. He’d fallen so far into a black pit of despair that work had become his only motivation to get up some mornings. He would lose himself in the sometimes ridiculous trials and tribulations of his wealthy clients so he didn’t have to deal with his own life. He’d forgotten how good it felt to help someone.

MacKenzie would be so ashamed of him.

Some days he was ashamed of himself. But he supposed that was what happened when life threw a man a curve like the one thrown to him. He hadn’t lost his ability to function. He’d lost his ability to feel. Or maybe he’d lost his humanity. Yet, here it was, staring him in the face. And for the first time in five years, being himself didn’t hurt.

“You’re welcome.”

Elise was already at breakfast when Jared arrived in the lobby the next morning. His gray raincoat, creased trousers and dress shirt of the day before had been replaced by jeans, a T-shirt and a leather jacket. He looked younger and more relaxed. So handsome she wasn’t surprised when the hotel desk clerk gave him a quick once-over or that her own heart stuttered in her chest at the mere sight of him.

As he approached the little table where she and Molly sat sharing a bowl of hot cereal, her nerves tingled with the attraction she’d felt the day before when they’d accidentally brushed hands. She once again reminded herself that being attracted wasn’t in either of their best interest but this time it didn’t work. How could she not be attracted to him? Incredibly male in his jeans and leather jacket, he took her breath away. If they accidentally touched again, she knew she’d shiver.

Still, she didn’t let any of that show as she offered him the empty seat at her small table. To her surprise, he not only took it; he actually made baby talk with Molly as he ate. Luckily, when they got into the SUV, he didn’t talk anymore, except to suggest they stop for lunch when Molly awakened after sleeping away the morning.

Back in the car after their quick lunch, he once again stayed silent until Molly awakened from her afternoon nap and they stopped for dinner.

They traveled another two hours after supper. Then it began to rain again and Jared suggested Elise look for a hotel. She found one almost immediately, but when she wrapped fingers around the handle to open her door, Jared grabbed her forearm.

“Before we go in, let’s have a chat.”

The unexpected touch of his fingers on her skin sizzled through her. Then his serious tone penetrated, and the heat evaporated.

“Chat” was the word her mom had used when she sat Elise down to explain that her father had left them. When Elise finally found Patrick after he hadn’t come home from his supposed job search, he had also said it was time for a chat. His “chat” revolved around the fact that he hadn’t loved her for some time and included his complete horror at becoming a daddy. Then he’d kicked her out of the apartment of his new girlfriend and in what felt like seconds she was suddenly on her own. Alone and pregnant.

“Chatting” never worked out well for her.

“Why do we need to chat?”

He drew a long breath. “I know you don’t have a lot of money and I do, so why don’t we let this trip be totally on me?”

Relief flooded her that he wasn’t angry, but when she realized what he was asking, her blood went cold. “I don’t need your charity.”

“I know that. But I’d like you to think of me paying for the hotel room as something like a Christmas gift.”

She laughed. “You wouldn’t have bought me a Christmas gift if we were still back at Clover Valley. So, no.”

“Why won’t you just accept my help?”

“Because I don’t need it.” Because she didn’t want to become indebted, or worse dependent. Any time she relied on anyone, especially a man, he let her down. She didn’t want to add another name to the list.

“Michael paid me very well to house-sit. For the past six months I didn’t have rent or utilities. So I saved most of that money. Just because I’m frugal doesn’t mean I’m broke.”

She pushed out of the SUV before he could argue and immediately gasped. The air was freezing! The wind howled and the rain that pricked her felt like ice. A Southern California girl who had been raised in North Carolina, she wasn’t accustomed to temperatures this low, or wind this cruel.

She scurried to the back of the SUV to gather her things, but Jared was already there.

“You grab Molly and go ahead in.” He pointed at the hotel doors. “I’ll be right behind you.”

Elise grabbed Molly and ran into the lobby. As he had promised, Jared was right behind her, carrying her diaper bag, suitcase and cooler and his own duffel. Wind followed them inside and he had to put down the baggage to close the door.

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow,” Jared agreed, but his gaze was on the line at the check-in desk. “Seems like the weather caused everybody on the road to stop. We better get a place in line before all the rooms are gone.” He slid the diaper bag and her suitcase straps to her shoulders. “Take these and go sit.” He nodded at the sofa and chair arranged by a fireplace. “I’ll check us both in.”

She caught his arm. “Don’t pay for my room.”

“I’ll use my credit card to check you in. Then tomorrow you can pay for your room however you want.”

She had expected him to argue. When he didn’t, she was impressed that he respected her and her wishes. She relaxed a bit. “Okay.”

“I still think you’re crazy not to take my help.”

“Whatever.”

The first customer finished and everybody moved forward. Another clerk stepped out from a door behind the desk and called the next customer in the line. Guests were checked in quickly and soon it was Jared’s turn.

Preoccupied with entertaining Molly, Elise didn’t pay much attention until she heard Jared say, “Are you kidding?”

She looked over. She had a sneaking suspicion that the prices had risen sharply because of supply and demand in the storm.

She walked up to the desk. Jared said to the clerk, “Tell her what you just told me.”

The young man smiled ruefully. “I’m sorry, miss, but we have only one room left.”

Because that wasn’t what she expected to hear, Elise blinked.

Jared sighed. “Tell her the rest.”

The clerk winced. “It has only one bed.”

This time, Elise’s mouth fell open. “Are you kidding?”

“Tell her the other thing.”

The clerk winced again. “We’re the last hotel for fifty miles. That’s why we booked up so quickly.”

Elise stood, openmouthed, processing that. Finally she shook her head and said, “We don’t have a choice.”

“Looks that way.”

The repentant clerk said, “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Elise said, smiling at him, though she wanted to groan in misery. Riding in the silent car wasn’t exactly torture, but it wasn’t pleasant, either. She’d been looking forward to being in her own room with Molly for a few hours to simply relax. Worse, she was more attracted to Jared than she cared to admit. There’d be no downtime to remind herself that these physical feelings meant nothing. No time to remind herself that men usually spelled trouble. Especially men she depended on. And like it or not, she was depending on Jared for a ride.

One bed meant they’d either sleep together awkwardly, stiff and fearful all night that they might accidentally touch, or they’d have to flip a coin with the loser sleeping on the floor. But that wasn’t the clerk’s fault or Jared’s.

Smiling at the clerk again, she said, “Can we have a crib for the room?”

The clerk typed a bit, probably checking availability, and then breathed a sigh of relief. “There’s one left.”

“One’s all we need.” She faced Jared again. “You get the key. I’ll gather my things.”

Jared nodded.

As Elise walked away, Molly cooed happily.

“Yeah. You’re going to love this because you’ll drink a bottle and fall asleep in a nice comfy crib that you don’t have to share with a stranger. Things aren’t so simple for adults.”

Molly giggled. Elise rolled her eyes as she reached down for her diaper bag, suitcase and cooler. She didn’t think Jared would make a pass at her or even flirt with her. He also wouldn’t be so disrespectful as to come out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel or to sleep naked. She wasn’t worried that something big would happen. Little things would be the problem. Close quarters would multiply their awareness of each other and that would make the night long and uncomfortable.

Jared walked over to the seating arrangement and took the bags from her. “We’re just around the corner. I’ll go with you and Molly to the room, open the door and then go back and park the SUV.”

He looked so nervous that Elise smiled reassuringly. “Thanks.”

He motioned her to precede him out the door. Elise stepped out into the cold again, tucking Molly’s blanket tightly around her as they ran to the door of the hotel room. Jared let them in, deposited her things in the closet and left quickly.

When he was gone, Elise got a fresh bottle for Molly and sat on the bed. Spending the night in the same room was going to be too awkward for words. But right now her baby needed to be fed, so she occupied herself with feeding Molly, cooing to her as she suckled, putting her fears behind her until she actually had to face them.

When Molly was done eating, Jared opened the door. He walked his duffel bag to the closet and tossed it beside her suitcase. The intimacy of their things sitting together sent nerves thrumming through Elise. She swallowed.

“Do you and Molly need the bathroom first?”

He turned as he asked the question, and Elise’s eyes made an involuntary sweep of his body. Strong thighs encased in his jeans. Tight tummy beneath a T-shirt. Broad shoulders.

A shiver of feminine longing raced through her.

Lord, why had she done that?

She redirected her gaze and her attention to Molly’s diaper bag and began rifling through it for a clean diaper and pajamas. “That would be a good idea. That way I can put her to sleep while you’re showering.”

He frowned. “I know I’m new at this whole baby thing, but what do you do with her while you’re showering?”

“She sits in the baby seat in the bathroom, so I can peek at her occasionally and hear her if she cries.”

“Why not just bring her out here once she’s had her bath and is in her pajamas?”

“I don’t want to bother you.”

He met her gaze. “Aren’t we past that yet?”

His usually stormy-gray eyes were no less troubled tonight. If anything, they seemed to be churning with even more emotion. Or maybe a new emotion. He needed her to trust him. Their situation was awkward but they were both honest, decent people. If she didn’t know at least that about him, how could he stay in the same room with her for an entire night? And if he couldn’t sleep in the only room left in the hotel, where would he sleep? The SUV? The hotel lobby?

They’d been handing the baby back and forth enough already that it really did seem ridiculous to have Molly sit in the baby seat on the floor of the bathroom. Surely she could muster that much trust.

“I guess.”

“So when you’re done with her, bring her out and tell me what to do.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

He picked up the television remote control from the dresser, and Elise took Molly, her clean clothes and her baby soaps and lotions into the bathroom. She didn’t have any accessories like a baby tub, so she had to hold Molly with one hand and scrub her with the other. By the time she was done, Elise was nearly as wet as Molly.

She walked the baby into the bedroom. Jared sat on the bed, pillow propped behind him, watching the news. He met her gaze. “What do you want me to do with Molly?”

She could have happily drowned in his pretty gray eyes. But except for the fleeting attraction she’d felt from him the time they loaded her things into the SUV at the bus stop, the only emotion she’d gotten from him was his need to be trusted. The physical attraction appeared to be only her battle. And it was a stupid battle. Really. Her being worried that a rich guy who worked with celebrities wanted her so much he wouldn’t be able to control himself? Now that was wishful thinking.

So she looked away, pretending great interest in stowing Molly’s dirty clothes in the plastic bag she kept in her suitcase for laundry. “She’s eaten and she’s clean. So she’s probably sleepy. Usually I would hold her or play with her until she rubs her eyes, then I’d put her in bed.”

“Then, that’s what I’ll do.”

“Crib’s not here yet.”

“It’s a busy night. I’m sure it will be here by the time Molly’s ready to go to sleep. If not, we’ll watch TV.”

She took a breath, suddenly uncomfortable. Deep down, she knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Molly. Yet part of her shimmied with fear over leaving her with him. “I don’t feel right about this.”

“Afraid I’ll wait until you’re occupied and steal her the way I was afraid you’d steal my SUV if I left you with the keys?”

She laughed uneasily. “No. But—”

“But you don’t think I’m capable of entertaining Molly?”

“I know you are.”

“Then what?”

It seemed foolish to lump him in with her untrustworthy dad and equally untrustworthy Patrick, when all Jared was asking to do was watch her baby for a few minutes. Still, now that the moment was here it felt wrong to simply trust him. To trust anybody.

“I just don’t like anybody doing the things I’m supposed to be doing.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah, why?”

She remembered being about ten, sitting by the window of the little house she shared with her mom, praying her dad would come back—wishing her mom wouldn’t have to worry anymore, but he never did. Not even for a visit.

She thought of Patrick. Thought of how much easier the first months of her pregnancy would have been if he’d simply stuck with her. But when the going got tough, Patrick definitely got going. It never even occurred to him to stay with her. To help her.

Was it any wonder she didn’t believe any man would follow through?

“Just go shower. We have to be on the road early.”

The faint amusement in Jared’s voice brought her back to reality. He thought she was silly to argue. He’d been doing things like this all along. Taking the baby while she registered in the hotel the night before or paid restaurant checks when they stopped to eat. He didn’t understand that this time she wouldn’t be a few feet away. She’d be in another room. In a stream of water too loud to hear what was going on with her baby in the bedroom. And even if there was a noise loud enough to reach her, she couldn’t run out to check because she’d be naked—

Oh Lord, maybe she knew what her problem was. She didn’t so much fear leaving Molly with Jared, as she feared that she’d hear a noise and she’d bolt out of the bathroom half-dressed. And it was ridiculous. Not only was Jared capable of keeping something earth-shattering from happening in the five or ten minutes she’d need to shower, but also she wouldn’t come running out of the bathroom without at least grabbing a towel.

There was nothing to worry about.

After one quick glance to be sure Molly was okay, she turned and went into the bathroom.

She came out a few minutes later clean and dry, wearing sweatpants and a huge T-shirt to sleep in—the most unsexual outfit she could find in her suitcase. The crib had arrived and was set up in a corner of the room. Molly slept soundly surrounded by her familiar blankets. Jared still sat on the bed, propped on the pillow that leaned against the headboard, looking casual and comfortable and oh, so sexy.

She told herself to stop thinking that, but the very quiet, very private room with only one bed, and the intimacy of doing things like shower, seemed to multiply his sexuality. His disheveled hair and whisker-stubbled chin gave him a dark, rebellious look that spoke to everything feminine in her.

She tugged on the hem of the shirt, nervously pulling it down as far as it would go, twisting it in her hands, wishing with all her might that she would stop noticing him this way.

“Thanks for…um…taking care of Molly.”

“You’re welcome.” He rolled off the bed and grabbed his duffel, heading for the bathroom, either blissfully unaware of her ridiculous attraction or ignoring it.

When he was behind the closed bathroom door, Elise squeezed her eyes shut. She wished she could just run away. But she couldn’t. He was her driver. She wasn’t even sure where they were or where she could find a bus. And how could she take Molly out in this storm? They were stuck in this room together for the night.

Worse, in a few seconds, Jared would be the one beyond the thin wall naked under the stream of water. She grabbed the remote control and found a television station. She desperately needed to divert her attention.

Jared stepped into the bathroom confused about Elise. Her very evident physical attraction to him would have made him nervous, except he knew there was no way in hell she’d ever act on it. Mostly because she didn’t trust him and he sincerely doubted she ever would.

It infuriated him that after all the time they’d spent together he still had to coax her to let him watch Molly while she showered. He could believe Michael paid her well to housesit for six months. He could believe Elise saved all her money. Both of which were good reasons she could afford to pay her own expenses. So he hadn’t realized just how stubborn she was until the disagreement over him watching Molly.

That had shown him something he should have paid more attention to before, but had glossed over. She wasn’t simply independent about paying her own way; she didn’t really like him doing anything for her. She was the first woman he’d met in five years who didn’t see him as the source of every answer to all of her troubles. Of course, the only women he dealt with were clients, so he couldn’t be too hard on them for expecting him to do his job. But having to fight Elise for the “privilege” of helping her really wore on him.

He turned on the shower, stripped and stepped under the hot spray. He was so accustomed to people depending on him that he had to reach the whole way back to his days as an assistant district attorney to remember the last time he’d met a woman this distrustful. Those were the women he’d interviewed who had been battered and abused. He wondered again about the man who had left Elise and fought back the urge to find the guy and knock him into tomorrow. It wasn’t his business, but right at this moment that didn’t matter. Any time he had prepared a woman to testify against an abusive man he’d fought these same urges—

He froze under the hot spray. Shampoo bubbles slid down his forehead and into his eyes. He’d just thought of the past and his chest hadn’t tightened. He’d remembered being an assistant district attorney without reliving the pain.

Before he had a chance to really delve into what that meant, the shampoo stung his eyes and he shoved his head under the water. He washed himself, dried and put on the same kind of outfit Elise had. Sweatpants and a black T-shirt. If her outfit was intended to tell him she was off-limits, he’d use his to show her he got the message and agreed.

But as he squeezed paste onto his toothbrush, he suddenly realized she would fight him about who would sleep on the bed and he groaned in frustration. Everything with this woman turned into a battle.

Ready to simply tell her she was sleeping on the bed and he was sleeping on the floor, he marched out of the bathroom only to find her standing in his path, holding a coin, ready to flip it.

He stopped dead in his tracks. Her pretty red hair glistened in the light of the lamp on the dresser. Her T-shirt skimmed her breasts and hinted at the curve of her waist, the swell of her hips. The sharp, spicy scent of her shampoo mixed with remnants of the soap or shower gel she’d used and floated to his nostrils.

Reaction ricocheted through him. And again his brain sort of froze, unable to believe what was happening. He hadn’t felt an actual attraction to a woman in so long that the responses rolling through him right now were foreign, novel. Yearnings and needs that had lain dormant burst to life. For the first time in five years his hormones demanded control.

But Elise was the absolutely worst woman to be awakening his sexual urges. Not just because they were traveling together, but because she reminded him of the abused women he’d prepped for trial as an assistant district attorney.

What if Elise had been abused?

She probably wouldn’t have trusted him enough to ride across the country with him if she’d been physically abused. But from his two years as an A.D.A., he did know that emotional abuse could make a person antisocial. Overly independent.

Yeah. Something was definitely up with Elise and he wouldn’t do anything to make it worse.

He snatched the coin from her fingers before she realized what he was doing. He tossed it in the air, caught it and set it on the back of his hand with a smack. “Heads or tails?”

“Tails.”

He peered down. Saw the tails side of the coin and said, “Too bad. It’s heads. I sleep on the floor.” Then he tossed her coin back to her.

She caught it deftly. “Wait! I didn’t see the coin.”

“You have it in your hand.”

“You know what I mean. I didn’t see that it really was heads. You can’t just bully me…”

“Bully you into sleeping on the bed?” He laughed and walked to the closet, where he extracted the extra pillow and blanket. “Wow. What a horrible man I am for giving you the bed.”

“But I—”

“—Won the toss and get to sleep on the bed,” he said, walking to the open space at the other side of the room where he could spread out a blanket and drop his pillow. No matter how far away he walked, he could still smell her.

Yeah, it was better for him to sleep on the floor.

CHAPTER THREE

JARED awakened to the sound of laughter. He bounced up quickly and groaned. Not only was it still dark, but sleeping on the floor had played hell with his back.

He turned and saw a small strip of light coming from the bathroom, then heard Elise say, “Oh, you like that, do you?”

Her soft, feminine voice reminded him of how much trouble he’d had falling asleep while surrounded by her scents and listening to her rustle the bed sheets as she tossed and turned.

He pulled in a breath to banish all that from his mind and called, “Everything okay in there?”

“What?”

“I said—” He stopped, hauled himself off the floor and went to the bathroom door. Though it was partially open, he turned his head, not venturing to look inside. “I asked if everything was okay in there.”

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