FOREVER STARTS TONIGHT
Roni Loren

Copyright

Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

77–85 Fulham Palace Road

Hammersmith, London W6 8JB

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in USA by Intermix, Penguin Group (USA) 2014

First published in Great Britain by Harper 2014

Copyright © Roni Loren 2014

Excerpt from Nothing Between Us © Roni Loren 2015

Cover illustration © Shutterstock.com

Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2014

Cover photograph © pyxil/iStockphoto.com

Roni Loren asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780698183025

Ebook Edition © September 2014 ISBN: 9780008108236

Version: 2014-09-10

Dedication

To every reader who demanded more of Jace, Evan, and Andre.

This is for you.

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Epilogue

Read on for more from Roni Loren

About the Author

Also by Roni Loren

About the Publisher

Chapter 1

“He’s going down,” Andre murmured against Evan’s ear.

“That’s what she said.” Evan smirked from behind the lens of her camera and clicked.

“Mmm,” he said, pressing a light kiss to her shoulder. “I wish that’s what you were saying right this second, bella. Wanna take a break? I think there’s a storage closet with our names on it. I could get down on my—”

She moved her face away from her camera and sent Andre a warning look, but the impact was totally undermined by the way her teeth bit into her lip. She was picturing exactly what he could do to her in that closet, no doubt.

“Behave,” she whispered. “You’re supposed to be my assistant tonight. Keep me on track, not on my back. Plus, if the groom takes a header because he drank too much, it’s my job to capture the special moment so that their future children will be able to laugh at him.”

Andre’s gaze slid over the dance floor where the bride was basically holding her newly minted husband up for their dance. Lady Gaga’s “The Edge of Glory” was playing, and other couples were bouncing to the beat, but in the middle, the bride and groom were swaying like they were listening to “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay.” Andre grinned. “It’s kind of romantic, isn’t it?”

“Getting drunk off your ass at your own wedding?” Evan asked, adjusting her position and snapping more shots.

He hefted her equipment bag higher on his shoulder. “No, that they’re moving to their own beat. She doesn’t seem annoyed at all, even when he keeps stepping on her dress, and he’s watching her with rapt amazement.”

Evan smiled. “Well, she is a beautiful bride.”

Andre leaned against a pillar, still watching the couple. Yes, the bride looked like she’d stepped out of the pages of a bridal magazine, but she was nothing compared to the woman standing beside him. Even with Evan sporting her photographer uniform of nondescript, black everything, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. Though, seeing the bride all dolled up, he couldn’t help but imagine what Evan would look like in flowing white and walking down an aisle next to him—no, next to them. She wasn’t just Andre’s, she was Jace’s, too. And he, theirs. But they wouldn’t get the right of that marriage ritual, at least not in the traditional sense. There wasn’t room for three of them at the church.

And Evan had declared more than once that she didn’t need the fancy wedding, that she wasn’t a woman hung up on fairy-tale stuff. But Andre had to wonder what it was like for her to spend most weekends photographing things that were normal for most people but complicated for them. Weddings, family reunions, children. Even he got pangs every now and then. He knew there was nothing traditional about his tastes or his relationship with Evan and Jace—and he wouldn’t change anything about what he had. He was one lucky bastard. But he’d been raised in such a traditional environment that part of that was still ingrained in his psyche, making him crave some of the privileges of that life—talking openly about the people you love to friends and family, calling someone your wife or husband, getting to see his girl and his guy dressed up and making vows.

“Ha! Nailed it,” Evan said, right as Andre heard a group gasp from the crowd.

The groom was now in the middle of the dance floor, flat on his ass. His bride had toppled with him and was straddling him in a sea of white tulle. Both of them were laughing hard. Evan kept snapping.

“I got the whole thing,” she declared, triumph in her tone. “These are going to be amazing. Look how freaking adorable they are.”

Andre smiled and stepped up behind Evan. “You’re adorable. And picking up Jace’s sadistic side. Poor guy falls and you’re all excited.”

She peered back at him with a smile, those pale blue eyes sparkling under the lights of the hotel ballroom. “This will be their favorite shot of the night. I guarantee it. The best moments are always the spontaneous, unexpected ones.”

“In photos and in life,” he said, leaning down to give her a quick kiss.

“Is that right?”

“Yep. I still thank that jellyfish for stinging you the day we met. Where would I be today if Jace hadn’t dragged some strange, half-drowned girl up to our hotel room that night?”

She cocked her head. “Probably still silently pining for your best friend and on the way to some Shakespearean tragedy of unrequited love and lust.”

“Word,” he said, wishing he could pull her to him and really kiss her. But he didn’t want to risk her looking unprofessional. She’d already been on edge because her normal assistant, Finn, had a family thing and couldn’t be here tonight. Apparently, this new couple was very high society and had a big network of friends that Evan could pick up new business from. He gave her elbow a squeeze. “Need another bottle of water?”

“That’d be fantastic. I’m just going to—”

“Andre?” a voice interrupted from his left.

He stiffened and released Evan’s elbow as he turned toward the sound. He wasn’t at all prepared for what greeted him.

A leggy Latina in a dark green dress was heading their way, her brows lifting higher as she got closer. “Oh, wow, it is you.”

Before Andre could force his mind to start working again, Martine threw her arms around him in an enthusiastic hug. He kept his arms at his sides. “Uh, hey …”

“I can’t believe it’s really you,” Martine said, leaning back and giving him a unabashed head-to-toe evaluation. “I’d heard you moved to Dallas, but this city’s so darn big.”

Apparently not big enough. Andre moved back a half step and attempted to form some sort of acceptable expression. Evan lifted a brow from behind Martine’s shoulder—not accusatory but curious. Andre cleared his throat. “Martine, what are you doing here?”

“I work with the groom.” She pushed her long, dark hair over her shoulder, revealing a strapless dress that put her cleavage on full display. “I’m the HR director at Harris and Hill. What about you?”

“I’m just helping Evan out tonight.” He nodded at his girlfriend. “Her assistant was sick.” Martine turned a beaming smile Evan’s way.

“Evan,” Andre said, searching for the right words. “This is Martine Velasquez. We—”

“Were engaged a few years ago,” Martine said, holding her hand out to Evan. “Before he decided he liked boys instead and broke it off.”

Well, then. Martine had never been one to be tactful.

Evan’s lips rolled inward, her gaze sliding to his. When he gave her a go-ahead nod, she smiled and he sensed a bit of predator in it. “I’m Evan Kennedy, Andre’s girlfriend.”

Martine blinked, her smile freezing on her face. She turned to Andre. “Your girlfriend?”

Andre sighed. He saw the flash of hurt there and didn’t relish it. Martine had always been a good woman—beautiful, smart, kind. At one point, he’d thought he loved her. But he’d been struggling with his sexuality on a daily basis back then, both his attraction to men and his burgeoning interest in dominance and submission. He hadn’t been able to share any of that with her. She’d been after the perfect life—husband, kids, house in the suburbs, and being active in the local Catholic church.

And part of him had wanted to give that to her. But a few weeks before the wedding, he’d gone to a kink club to exorcise his demons. Instead, it had opened Pandora’s box inside him. He’d only planned to observe that night, but he’d found himself on the verge of cheating. He hadn’t during that visit, but he’d broken it off with Martine a few days later. He’d told her he thought he could be gay even though he knew that wasn’t quite it. Gay had been something she couldn’t argue with, though.

She’d been devastated, he’d felt lost, and his family had freaked out—even though they’d never known the real reason for the breakup—because they’d loved Martine. He hooked his thumbs in his pockets. “Yes, my girlfriend.”

“But—”

“I also have a boyfriend,” he said with a shrug.

Lines appeared between her brows. “So, like, you’re dating around?”

“He is not,” Evan said, a bite to her tone, which was so un-Evan-like that Andre knew Martine was pushing buttons. “We’re all in a committed relationship.”

Martine’s dark eyes rounded. “You’re all …”

Andre touched her arm. “It was nice to see you, Martine. I’m glad you’re doing well. But Evan’s working, and I don’t want her to miss any important shots.”

“But—”

He put his hand on Evan’s lower back and steered her toward the crowd that was forming as the bride and groom got ready to make their exit to the limo. “Come on, bella. Got to get the parting shot.”

She glanced over at him, frustration clear in the set of her mouth. “I’d like to get the parting shot with Ms. Old Flame back there. She was looking at you like she had some right to you. You never told me you were engaged.”

“Ancient history.”

“She looks like a freaking swimsuit model,” Evan said under her breath.

“And you look like a goddess,” he said, curving his hand around her side. “Don’t give her another thought.”

But the scowl on Evan’s face said she was going to think about whatever she damn well pleased.

They finished up the wedding without talking much more. There was too much to do, and Evan flipped into focused work mode. Andre held the camera bag, staying out of the way, and watched the happy couple wave their good-byes. The guests were blowing bubbles instead of throwing rice, and the bride and groom were smiling in that blissed-out way that only comes when everything feels right in the world and you see nothing but sunshine in your future. Andre didn’t realize he’d sighed until he heard the voice next to him.

“I second that sigh. There’s nothing like a wedding to make me both happy and sad at the same time.”

He tensed and turned to find Martine giving him an abashed smile.

“I mean, I know it’s been a long time, but I still think about it sometimes. What our wedding would’ve looked like. What our life would’ve been like.”

He took a deep breath. This conversation was making him more than a little uncomfortable, but he had to remember that he was the one who’d screwed this woman over. She hadn’t done anything wrong. It really had been a case of “it’s not you, it’s me.” And waiting until a few weeks before the wedding to figure that out had been a dick move. “It would’ve been a mistake, Marti. I’m sorry for how long it took me to figure that out, but we wouldn’t have worked.”

She let her gaze follow the bride and groom’s progress instead of looking at him. “You don’t know that. Yes, if you’d really been gay, it wouldn’t have worked. But”—she nodded toward Evan, who was vigorously snapping away with her camera, her back to them—“clearly you’re not opposed to women.”

He wasn’t going to stand there and talk about kink and his preferences and why the bisexual thing would’ve been the least of their incompatibilities. It wasn’t the appropriate place, and it wasn’t Martine’s business. “Are we really going to do this right now?”

She pursed her lips, and he was reminded of how pretty she was. When he’d first asked her out in college, he’d been shocked that she’d said yes. She’d seemed out of his league. And as it turned out, she was, but not in the way he’d thought.

She huffed. “Andre, you can’t tell me that being in some strange three-way relationship is what you want. Was all that talk we had about having kids and raising a big family just blowing smoke? I thought you wanted to be that dad who’s the little league baseball coach and who buys a big house with land so there’s room for kids to play.”

He frowned and adjusted the camera bag again. Those plans he’d had back then seemed dusty and distant now. He’d grown up in a strict but loving household, one of four kids, extended family nearby. He’d always loved having that network of people around, and had once upon a time thought he’d recreate it with someone like Martine. But he hadn’t known who he really was back then. That traditional life had no place for him.

He crossed his arms, feeling colder than he had a few minutes before. “Things change. We grow up. What you think will make you happy and what actually does are often two different things.”

“And are you happy?” she asked, not pulling any punches. “Even though you don’t have those things you thought you wanted?”

His gaze moved back to Evan, and now she was looking his way, a questioning expression on her face. He could tell it wasn’t anger but more an offer to come over to help extract him from the conversation. He smiled and lifted a hand to her as if to telepath, It’s all right, bella, I’ve got this.

He turned back to Martine. “I’m very happy.”

No, he didn’t have that big family or a house with land. He had a condo in the city, a job that challenged him, and two lovers who he’d move the earth for and who’d do the same for him. He didn’t need anything more than that.

Martine sighed, and the smile that she offered him was genuine, but her eyes held sadness. “I’m happy for you then. Truly.”

“Thank you,” he said, feeling like a jerk again. “And you seem to be doing great, too.”

She gave a little laugh. “Oh, am I giving off that impression? Well, that’s good. Glad I’m pulling it off.”

“Is it wrong?”

She waved a dismissive hand and took a sip of the champagne she held. “Lord, look at me, this is why I shouldn’t drink at weddings. I get all maudlin. No, I’m fine. I have a great job. My family is doing well. I just bought a house in Southlake. I have nothing to complain about.”

But she didn’t have someone. That’s what wasn’t being said. “I’m glad you’re doing well.”

She smirked. “Yep, fantastic. But hey, maybe we could have lunch sometime or something. Catch up. I haven’t seen your sister or the rest of your family in ages. I’d like to hear how everyone’s doing.”

He rubbed his lips together and glanced at Evan again. He was so ready to get out of here.

“Come on, I’m sure your girlfriend knows I’m not a threat,” she teased and set her drink down on a nearby table to dig in her purse. She handed him a business card. “What’s grabbing a sandwich with an old friend?”

He took the card. “Thanks, but I work weird hours, so lunch isn’t always doable.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a detective with the Dallas PD.”

Her eyebrows lifted, impressed. “So the bad boy now catches the bad guys?”

He sniffed. “Something like that.”

“Well, I’m sure we can find a time at some point to connect.” She stepped into his space, and before he realized what she was doing, she planted a kiss on his cheek. “See you soon, Andre.”

Not if he had anything to do with it. He didn’t hold any bad feelings toward Martine, but he also knew the woman was a determined one. And he got the feeling her idea of “old friends reconnecting” was very different from his.

A few minutes after Martine strolled away to talk to a group of older ladies, Evan sidled up next to him. He took the camera from her hands and she rolled her neck. “So do I need to cut a bitch? Because my back hurts, the plate of hors d’oeuvres they gave me made me nauseous, and some va-va-voom woman is trying to hone in on my guy. I’m ready to scrap.”

Andre chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist. “No need for fighting. My virtue is safe from her.”

“What was she talking to you so intently about then?” Evan asked, her blue eyes more tired than normal.

He pushed her bangs to the side. His girl was working too much. “She was wondering how I could possibly be happy.”

Evan snorted. “Meaning without her?”

He rubbed his hand along Evan’s back, his own weariness settling in. “Yes and no. She knew a different version of me back then—one who wanted a big family and a house in the country. You know, all those dreams that change and shift as you figure out who you are.”

Her lips lifted at the corner. “Farmer Andre?”

He laughed. “Oh, hell, no. My sister got my dad’s veterinarian genes. Taking care of animals and crops and shit—way too much work. I just wanted the open space.”

“And the family?” she asked, her tone a little too nonchalant.

He smiled and bent to kiss her. He knew kids were a touchy topic for Evan. She’d had to place a baby for adoption when she was a teen, and it still haunted her a bit even though it had been the right decision for her at the time. “I have a family, bella. You and Jace are my family. My heart and my house are full. I don’t need anything else.”

She sighed and laid her cheek to his chest, but he couldn’t tell if it was a happy sigh or not. “Can we go home now?”

“Yeah, sure. You okay?” he asked, running a hand over her head.

“Not sure. That food really messed with my stomach. Remind me to never eat sushi in a landlocked state.”

“Words to live by.” He let her go and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s get you home and into bed.”

She gave him a wan smile. “Always trying to get me into bed.”

“You know it.” But the humor in his voice didn’t match the concern that filled him when she turned and one of the ballroom lights illuminated her face. Evan always had a fair complexion, but she looked particularly pale tonight, the spots beneath her eyes taking on a bruised tone. Bad sushi or not, one thing was clear: she was worn the fuck out. He and Jace were supposed to take care of her, and they obviously hadn’t been doing their job.

Even though they were both dominant and liked to control things, they tried not to interfere with Evan’s schedule. Her work was her passion. But she also could go overboard and work herself to death, which was completely unnecessary. She’d grown up in a situation where every penny made was precious, but that wasn’t her life anymore. They didn’t need the money. She didn’t need to run herself down.

Andre tucked all of the lenses back into the right bags and helped Evan collect her tripod and the rest of her equipment, then led her out to the car. By the time they got home, she was sound asleep in the passenger seat. He took a moment to watch her—dark lashes over pale cheeks, the rise and fall of her breath, the way her lips curved into an almost smile when she rested. His bella, quietly beautiful in a way that Martine could never hold a candle to. This girl filled him up.

He lifted her out of the car and carried her upstairs, passing Jace, who’d apparently fallen asleep on the couch waiting up for them. Andre smiled.

No, he didn’t have what he’d thought he wanted.

But he definitely had what he needed. And if he sometimes got pangs for things he used to want, that was okay, too. He’d make those sacrifices a thousand times over to be with these two people. No one could have it all. And he had more than he deserved.

After he tucked Evan into bed, he pulled Martine’s card from his pocket and tossed it in the trash. That past had no place in his life anymore.

Chapter 2

Jace blinked and rubbed his eyes, disoriented for a second until he realized he’d fallen asleep on the couch. The living room was dark except for the flashing light of the TV, and the arm he’d laid his head on had gone numb beneath him. He groaned, shaking out his arm, and sat up. He glanced toward the hallway that led to their bedroom. Had Evan and Andre come home and left him on the couch? That wasn’t like them. But before he could pull his thoughts together, noise from the kitchen drew his attention.

He pushed himself up from the couch and padded barefoot into the kitchen, where he found Andre fixing a bowl of cereal. Jace leaned against the doorway, watching the quiet, efficient moves of his lover, still amazed at how differently he saw Andre now. They’d lived together as best friends and roommates for years, and Jace had put such a friend wall up that he’d blocked out the attraction growing between them. But now that the truth had come out, he found it impossible not to see the guy for what he was—gorgeous and his. “We still have some lasagna left over in the fridge if you want something more substantial.”

Andre looked back over his shoulder. “Oh, hey. No, this is fine. And sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Jace scratched his chest and yawned. “No worries. You know the rule. If you wake someone up, be prepared to get them off.”

Andre laughed. “Oh, is that right? Is this a newly minted edict?

“Yep.”

“Uh-huh. So every time you wake me up with your snoring, I should nudge you awake and demand a blow job?”

Jace grinned. “I can work with that.”

Andre’s gaze traveled over Jace’s bare chest, interest sparking there, but then he seemed to dismiss the thought, a distracted look crossing his features. He pushed himself up to sit on the counter and grabbed his bowl of cereal. “You didn’t have to wait up for us. She told you we’d be late.”

Jace shrugged and stepped into the kitchen. “The bed feels too empty when y’all are gone. Plus, I had to catch up on some work stuff anyway.”

“Work stuff,” Andre said, frowning. “Feels like that’s all we’re doing lately.”

Jace went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “Yeah, it’s been a crazy few months for all of us.”

“You’re not kidding. I thought we were all holding it together pretty well with our schedules. But tonight I got a chance to see Evan at work. She’s wearing herself down, man,” Andre said between bites of cereal. “She fell asleep in the car on the way home and said she wasn’t feeling well.”

Jace straightened, that tidbit raising his concern. “Is she sick?”

“Not sure. Maybe. Even if she isn’t, she’s running herself down.” His gaze darted toward the doorway as if to make sure Evan hadn’t appeared. “I want to talk to her about it and suggest she take a break, but I also don’t want to come across like a controlling asshole.”

Jace turned, the worry in Andre’s voice becoming his own. Telling Evan to slow down would be a risky conversation. She liked to stay busy. She’d suffered from depression in her past, and Jace got the feeling that always being on the move and staying occupied were her ways of making sure it never returned. He wasn’t convinced she trusted happiness yet. Every time she’d had a glimmer of it before, it had been yanked away. So he understood that it would take some time for her to fully believe that what she, Jace, and Andre had was real and lasting.

But he also didn’t want her driving herself into the ground in the meantime. Because unlike in the past, she had him and Andre for support now. If any bad feelings tried to claim her again, they would be there for her and help her through it.

But straight up telling her she needed to take a break probably wouldn’t be very effective. Evan did a beautiful job submitting to him and Andre in the bedroom, but God help the man who tried to dictate things outside of it. Jace would have to approach it from a different angle. “Has she taken a weekend off since that Saturday we spent at The Ranch?”

A few weeks ago, they’d all gone to the private BDSM resort they belonged to and had spent the entire day and night indulging in all the kink resort had to offer. He’d even gotten Andre to play submissive alongside Evan, which was a rare occurrence. Andre was a switch and could enjoy both sides of the fence, but usually he had a hard time resisting the fun of topping Evan.

“I don’t think so,” Andre said. “And I didn’t realize how intense doing weddings can be. She’s all over the place, carrying around that equipment, dealing with highly emotional people. I feel drained from just following her around, so I can’t imagine how she must feel doing two or three of those a weekend. And for money we don’t even need.”

Jace swallowed another gulp of water and shook his head. “I swear, sometimes I wonder if she thinks we’re going to up and leave her. It’s like she’s determined to build some nest egg just in case. If I thought it would help, I’d take my damn bank account and sign it over to her.”

Andre grunted in agreement. “I know, but can you blame her? She grew up being bounced around in foster care, and our relationship isn’t exactly the picture of traditional stability. She’s too smart not to prepare for every possible outcome.”

Jace sniffed. “If this isn’t stable, I don’t know what is. We love her. We’ve collared her.”

“I know. But it’s not that simple.” Andre looked pensive, staring down at his cereal bowl. “I ran into Martine tonight.”

Jace blinked, startled for a moment by both the shift in topic and the news. “Your ex?”

“Yeah. She works with the groom,” he said, not looking at all happy by that turn of events. “And she saw me with Evan, so I told her about our relationship, since I’d given Martine the impression that I was gay. But when she heard that I’m also with a guy, I could tell she viewed the whole thing as a whim. That’s what everyone thinks—we’re on some kinky adventure that we’ll get out of our system before we grow up and set up actual lives.”

“That’s bullshit,” Jace groused, even though he knew that was what most outsiders thought. The vanilla world didn’t understand what collared meant. They didn’t understand what to do with people who didn’t match up in neat pairs.

“It is. But regardless, I’m not sure Evan doesn’t still have a little of that doubt in her mind, too. Hell”—he set down his bowl and made a frustrated gesture with his hand—“even I feel insecure about it sometimes.”

“What?” Jace said, the admission punching him flush in the gut. He set down his water bottle.

Andre grimaced at Jace’s tone. “Look, I don’t doubt that we all love each other, or that we aren’t all committed to this. Because God knows, you two are everything to me. But come on, Jace, worry has to cross your mind. I mean, sometimes I look at y’all together, and I wonder if I’m just in the way. You two could be perfectly fine without me, and damn, how much easier would that be on you both? You could get married and no one would ever look at you two sideways.”

“Okay, now you’re just pissing me off,” Jace said, stepping forward, arms crossed. “If you think we’d be fine without you, you’re not paying much attention. You are not the spare tire on this road trip, Dre. And you fucking know it.”

Andre sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just—I don’t know. I want us all to feel secure. I do. But wanting it and having it actually be so are two different things. So don’t think that the same thought hasn’t crossed Evan’s mind. If she comes home and finds the two of us in bed together, you don’t think she wonders if we’d be okay without her in the picture?”

“No, I hope she’s thinking, Hey, I’m here in time to join in.”

Andre smiled at that. “Well, knowing her, she thinks that, too. But we can’t pretend that not having that piece of paper or the law saying we’re married doesn’t play some role. None of us are traditional, but we live in a society that is, and we have all grown up knowing that saying I do is the seal on that deal. And our girl has to see those I dos every weekend. I saw one tonight, and even I, who hasn’t thought about weddings since my engagement, had a little kick of jealousy that I can’t go back home to the church I grew up in and stand in front of God and my family and commit myself to the people I love. There’s something sacred in doing that, the finality of it. And we don’t get that privilege.”

Jace laced his hands behind his neck and blew out a breath, the weight of all that Andre had said making him feel heavier than he had a few minutes before. He hadn’t thought about things like legal papers and church weddings making any kind of difference. Those things weren’t part of his orbit. He’d been in the kink world so long that, frankly, he couldn’t give a shit what the legal system said about his relationship status. And he’d seen firsthand how “sacred” those marriage vows were when his dad had cheated on his mother. And when his ex-wife had cheated on him. Marriage seemed like a sucker’s bet.

But he hadn’t looked at it from Andre’s and Evan’s points of view. Andre had grown up in a strict Catholic household with parents who’d been married since they were young. And Evan had been in foster care, where papers and the legality of relationships meant everything. So Jace could see how their commitment could feel less secure in their eyes.

And, of course, he couldn’t magically make the laws of the land or of the church change. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t do something to make it better. They’d had their collaring ceremony privately. None of them had wanted an audience that day. But afterward, they’d never celebrated their commitment in a public way. And they didn’t refer to each other as husband and wife. But saying boyfriend and girlfriend did seem empty now that he thought about it. Temporary.

The last thing he wanted was for either of his lovers to feel like their time together was limited. Jace had waited too damn long to find this kind of happiness, and he wasn’t about to let the two people he cared most about in the world feel like anything less than the very center of his universe. It was his fault for not recognizing the insecurity sooner. He needed to fix this.

An idea began to form in his head and he stepped forward into Andre’s space. Andre didn’t protest when Jace moved between Andre’s knees. “I hate to break it to you, Dre, but you’re not getting out of this. You try to bail on us, and I will hunt you down like some psycho stalker.”

Andre smirked. “I’m the cop, remember. I do the hunting. I’m not the hunted.”

“Sorry, Detective, you don’t get to pull rank around here. And Evan would be after you, too. I bet she was ready to take Martine down tonight.”

Andre laughed, his warm breath coasting along Jace’s neck. “She totally was.”

“Good, so don’t go out getting ideas about where you think you do and don’t belong.” Jace wrapped his hand around Andre’s neck and squeezed. “Because you belong to us, you understand?”

Jace’s tight grip on his neck must’ve triggered something in Andre, because that heated look flashed through Andre’s eyes. “Yes, sir.”

Sir. Fuck, that never got old. Jace loved sharing the dominant role with Andre. But he’d be lying if he said that when the tough-assed cop let his submissive side shimmer to the surface, it didn’t make everything inside Jace go hot.

He tugged Andre closer, pressing his chest flush against him, and their mouths collided. Andre braced his hands on the edge of the counter and gave himself over to the kiss—like he needed it more than anything in this moment. Their tongues twined, the taste of Andre’s cinnamon cereal lacing the kiss. Jace’s hold on Andre’s neck moved upward, his fingers sliding into and gripping his dark hair. The tension in both of them melted as the kiss deepened, and Andre’s cock grew hard against Jace’s stomach. Jace’s body responded in kind, and he groaned when Andre reached down between them and wrapped his hand around Jace’s stiffening erection, the pajama pants offering little to dull the electric touch.

Andre broke away from the kiss, both of them breathless, and met Jace’s gaze. “So I’m ready to pay you back for that rule I broke.”

Jace’s hormones were whirring too fast to catch his meaning. “What rule?”

Andre slid off the counter, nudging Jace back then nodding at Jace’s tented pants. “I woke you up.”

Jace’s blood went molten. He’d been teasing about the rule, but he could tell Andre was doing anything but teasing right now. The guy was stressed out. They were both stressed out. And Jace had learned that sometimes the best medicine was to slip into the roles they felt so at home in.

“Yeah, you did,” Jace said, his voice low. He reached for the tie on his pants and loosened it. “And now you’ve gotten me fucking hard. Better fix it.”

Andre’s mouth lifted at the corner, a cocky smile, but one that said he was going to do what Jace asked. He moved closer and put his hands to Jace’s chest, guiding him back against the island, then he reached for the waistband of Jace’s pants. With one smooth motion, Andre lowered Jace’s pants and got onto his knees in front of him.

Fire burned low in Jace’s belly, the sight of one of his lovers kneeling for him never getting any less exciting. Andre tugged off his dress shirt, giving Jace a view of those broad, tanned shoulders and the glinting silver of Andre’s nipple rings. Jace couldn’t resist reaching down and giving the rings a tug. Andre was the one to groan this time, and the outline of his erection jerked in response.

Jace gripped the base of his cock and positioned himself in front of Andre’s mouth. “Take me, Dre. Get me done quick and good and maybe I won’t sent you to bed with that hard-on.”

As Jace expected, Andre took that as a challenge and dipped forward to take Jace in one long slide of his mouth, swallowing him whole—the hot, wet cavern of his mouth sending sensation all the way to Jace’s toes. Jace’s head tipped back, and he made a sound low in his throat. Jesus. Andre never did anything halfway. Jace should’ve known to sit in a chair or something, because his knees were already shaky beneath him.

Andre eased back and ran his tongue around the head of Jace’s cock, taking extra time to press the tip of his tongue into his slit, something Andre and Evan knew made Jace want to explode. Oh, yeah, the guy played dirty. Jace loved that—loved that even though Andre enjoyed submitting, the guy never failed to project anything but absolute confidence in his ability to make his lover lose it. It was sexy as fuck.

Jace sagged back onto his elbows, Andre’s dark head bobbing between his thighs, and sank into the blissful moment. But Andre wasn’t going to let him coast for long. His big hand moved along Jace’s sac, cupping and squeezing, making Jace rock onto his toes from the sensations. Then Andre’s fingers traveled farther back, teasing along the sensitive skin behind Jace’s balls and venturing even farther as he took Jace deeper down his throat. When Andre’s finger circled Jace’s back entrance, Jace almost slid right down to the floor.

“Christ, Dre,” he ground out, the erotic feeling of both his mouth and finger curling up Jace’s spine. The move was a new one for Jace. He didn’t have many boundaries with his lovers, but he exclusively topped, and Andre and Evan had never experimented with anal play on him. He wasn’t necessarily against it, but it’d been an unwritten line between them. Maybe because despite his experience in kink, Jace was still pretty new to being with a guy. Before Andre, there’d only been women. But now he wondered if Andre held some things back for that reason.

As if hearing Jace’s thoughts, Andre pulled back and peered up at Jace. “Okay?”

Jace wet his lips. “I’ll stop you if something isn’t.”

Andre’s lips quirked up. “Yes, sir.”

Then Andre went back to the job of rocking Jace’s fucking world.

***

Evan pulled her robe around her, rubbing the chill from her arms, and walked to the kitchen, hoping to God that they had antacids tucked away somewhere. But when she stepped through the doorway, she froze in place at the sight before her. Jace was leaning back against the counter, shaggy blond hair in his eyes, pants around his ankles, and Andre was kneeling in front of him, sucking him off and stroking him with his fingers.

The sight took the wind right out of her, and she put her hand to the doorframe, steadying herself. Holy hell, were they a picture. She’d lived with these two for almost a year and the sight of them could still take her breath away. Jace with that long, lean swimmer’s body, his tattooed arms straining with the effort of staving off the release Andre was surely about to give him. And Andre with his dark hair, caramel-colored skin, and soulful eyes, somehow looking more alpha than most of the male population even when on his knees for another guy. They were beautiful together.

And maybe she should care that they were doing this without her, but somehow that jealousy never seemed to take hold of her. She knew how long it had taken these two to admit their feelings for each other, knew how deep their love and respect for each other ran. So beyond the mind-melting desire that always went through her when she saw these two get naked together, all she felt was happiness for them and a thrill that she got to be part of this. That they were hers.

Normally, she’d make her presence known because, without a doubt, they would draw her into the tableau. In thirty seconds, she’d be flat on her back on that island with both of them lavishing her with erotic attention. But she was still feeling sick and didn’t think she could handle them at the moment. That did not mean, however, that she wasn’t going to take advantage of the moment and watch.

That chill she’d been fighting off on the walk to the kitchen had definitely disappeared. And even with her nausea, her body was growing very aware, very quickly. She tried to ease back into the shadows of the living room so she wouldn’t inadvertently interrupt, but Andre’s eyes must’ve caught movement. His gaze swung her way and his eyebrow lifted—an invitation.

She put a finger to her lips and shook her head. Without stopping the pleasure he was giving Jace, a smile touched his eyes. She stepped back into the living room then, but he knew she was watching and clearly approved.

Evan clung to the darkness, leaning against the doorjamb, and indulged in the view. Jace hadn’t opened his eyes since she’d arrived, and his belly was pulsing with quick breaths as he made those sexy, gritty sounds he was prone to when riding his edge. Andre was pulling out all the stops, and the wet, sucking noises were one of the most erotic things Evan could imagine hearing. And though she wasn’t close enough to see exactly where Andre’s fingers were rubbing, she had a good idea, and the image had her panties clinging to her. Maybe she hadn’t needed antacids at all. She just needed a distraction. And these two were providing it in spades.

Andre pulled back for a moment, and the broad head of Jace’s cock gleamed in the low glow of the under-cabinet lights. Evan’s tongue pressed to the back of her teeth. But she didn’t have the view for long because Jace reached out and gripped Andre’s hair, pulling him forward. “Don’t fucking tease me, Dre, or I swear to God, I will send you to bed with a raging case of blue balls.”

Andre smiled, an evil edge to his grin, and took Jace into his mouth again. There’d be no going back now. Andre wasn’t going to let up until Jace lost it. Andre increased his fervor, and Jace’s hands gripped Andre’s head, his hips canting forward as he fucked Andre’s mouth.

Evan licked the sweat gathering on her upper lip, her body responding to that flare of dominance in Jace. She loved when he tipped over from the sweet guy she knew into that intense, almost feral dominant space. He could be rough and relentless and sadistic when he went into that zone. And she thrived on it.

So did Andre, from the looks of it. Andre was a passenger on the train now, the control shifting fully to Jace as Jace directed the pace and position. Andre’s fingers curled into his own thighs, as if he was having trouble banking his need, and his erection stood proud against the fabric of his pants. If Evan hadn’t been feeling so shitty, she would’ve crawled over and helped him out with that. But Jace would take care of Andre. Jace could be a sadist when it came to doling out pain, but unless there was a punishment needed, he wasn’t into denying pleasure. Prolonging it? Yes. Making them wait for it to intensify things? Definitely. But outright denial? No. Jace was a hedonist at heart.

Jace’s shout made Evan jump, and she watched, enraptured, as Jace’s knuckles went white against Andre’s head. There it was, that moment when everything faded away. Evan’s body pulsed as if she were a part of it all, and Jace pumped his hips with long, deep thrusts, no doubt giving Andre every bit of his release. Andre’s sweat-slicked throat worked as he swallowed everything Jace gave him, his eyes closed and pleasure on his face. She knew that feeling. Yes, she was submissive, but there was a heady power in knowing you’ve brought such a strong man to the breaking point. A satisfaction.

Andre eased away, his tongue licking over his lips, and his gaze slid over to her for a brief second before returning to Jace. Jace was panting as he tugged his pants back up his hips, then he slid down the side of the island to the floor. He grabbed Andre, pulling him in for a kiss, and his hand deftly unbuttoned Andre’s slacks. Jace freed Andre’s cock from his open fly and smoothed the moisture that had gathered on the tip over Andre’s shaft.

Andre made a choked sound into the kiss and Evan decided she would leave them to it. If she watched for another second, she wasn’t going to be able to resist joining in. And she knew her body wasn’t up to that tonight. Vomiting on your lovers would not be sexy. So she went back to the bedroom and found an Alka-Seltzer in the back of the bathroom cabinet. After downing that in a glass of water, she crawled back into bed.

But she couldn’t fall asleep until both the boys returned to the bed about twenty minutes later. She listened to them strip in the dark, then felt them settle down on each side of her, their big warm bodies brushing against hers. She kept her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. But when Jace checked her forehead for fever, and Andre kissed the back of her shoulder and whispered an I love you, she snuggled into the contentment and finally drifted off.

Chapter 3

Jace shielded his eyes from the sun as he crossed the open fields on the edge of The Ranch, searching for the horse paddock. He wasn’t overly familiar with this part of the property. Most of what he needed at The Ranch was either at the main house or in the cabin he, Andre, and Evan often rented out. But ahead he could see the stables and the cowboy he was looking for.

Jace headed over that way and heard Grant Waters, owner and operator of The Ranch, explaining the ins and outs of saddling a horse to his girlfriend, Charli, who was standing with her hands on her hips and a frustrated expression on her face. Jace smiled. That seemed to be Charli’s go-to expression when it came to Grant. Jace had watched the two scene together at the main house before, so he knew Charli was a fantastic submissive to Grant, and the love between them was obvious. But when not in those roles, she was a no-nonsense, highly opinionated tomboy who kept the big man on his toes.

The whole thing amused Jace to no end because Grant could be such a stoic, all-knowing bastard sometimes, and it was fun to see the guy get flustered or perplexed by his woman. It reaffirmed Jace’s belief that no man could keep it together all the time when he was in love. It was nice to know even the master of The Ranch wasn’t immune.

“Howdy, partners!” Jace called out, making his accent as countrified as possible.

Grant turned around and tipped his black cowboy hat up. “Well, look what the barn cat dragged in. Jace Austin. Coming to the muck out the stalls for me?”

Jace sniffed. “I’m not even sure I know what mucking stalls means, but I think I’ll pass on anything with the word muck involved.”

“Smart man,” Charli said, giving the pretty brown mare she’d been trying to saddle a pat.

Jace leaned against the low fence. “Sorry to interrupt. I didn’t realize y’all were in the middle of pony play.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Grant said, sending Charli a lazy grin. “Maybe the best way to show you how to saddle a horse is to saddle you.”

She gave Grant the same look Evan had given Jace this morning when he’d asked her to stay home from work and rest. “Just try it, cowboy. See who ends up wearing a saddle and a tail.”

Grant chuckled and adjusted his hat. “Freckles, you know I’d let you ride me anywhere, anytime.”

Charli snorted but Jace didn’t miss the flirty humor in her eyes. She turned back to the horse and rubbed her flank. “Come on, Molly, you’ve suffered enough of my attempts today. Let’s go find some carrots.”

The horse chuffed as if she fully understood and let Charli lead her toward the stables. Grant watched them go with a smile, then turned back to Jace. “So what’s going on? I know you didn’t come out here for riding lessons.”

“Nah, not today. I brought a box of sample items from Wicked for you and the other members to try out. Our newest location has a lot more floor space for inventory, but I don’t want to order new things without getting some feedback first.”

Grant crossed his arms over his chest. “You don’t want to test them out with Evan and Andre?”

“Oh, I kept my own box,” he said, laughing. “But there are some things that aren’t really in our wheelhouse. And I like to get multiple opinions. There’s also a flogger from this new artisan I’ve been working with. His stuff seems very high quality, but I want to make sure it’s durable after regular use. So I got one for me and I put one in there for you to test out—deer hide, really thick falls, solid handle. Should give a nice, thuddy feel.”

“Excellent. Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem. Let me know what you think once you take it for a few test runs.”

Because he had no doubt Grant would. The Ranch was one of the biggest clients of Jace’s adult store, Wicked, but Grant’s large orders weren’t just for the resort. The man liked his toys now that he had the lovely Charli to play with.

“Any pony gear in that box?” Grant asked, wryness in his tone.

“No, but I could send some stuff over. There’s a real pretty tail with a vibrating plug.”

Grant glanced toward the stables and smiled. “Do. She knows when she says no way to something, that’s just going to make me more interested in doing it.”

Jace laughed. “Sadist.”

“Mmm,” he said in agreement. “So what else are you out here for? You look like a man on a mission.”

Jace propped his foot on the lowest cross plank of the fence. “I’m here for a favor.”

Unlike most people who had that initial wary reaction when anyone asked for a favor, Grant didn’t even blink at the request. “Shoot.”

“You still have that cabin up in Tahoe?”

He nodded. “I do.”

“Is it rented out? I know it’s the start of ski season, so if it’s taken, no worries. But if it’s not, I wanted to see if I could rent it for a week. Evan’s been working way too much and both Andre and I have had a busy few months, too, so I think we could all use the getaway.”

And he knew Grant’s cabin would be equipped with everything they could need for a fun, relaxing, and kinky vacation.

“Yeah, sure. It’s all yours. And don’t worry about paying for it. I don’t rent it out. I only use it for myself or lend it out to trusted friends.”

Jace smiled. “Awesome. Then the box o’ pony kink is definitely on the house.”

Grant shook his head and rubbed his scruffy jaw. “Hell, she’s going to fucking kill me.”

Jace clapped the big cowboy on his shoulder. “Yee haw.”

Grant sniffed and walked over to the fence. He planted a boot on the wood and vaulted over it. “Come on, the key to the cabin is in my office. I’ll walk you up there. Charli will be brushing down Molly for a while anyway. She’s still a nervous rider, but she loves spending time with the animals.”

“Sounds good.”

And it would give Jace the chance to talk to Grant about the even bigger favor he needed. Andre had gotten him thinking last night, and now an idea wouldn’t let go of him.

He smiled to himself. Evan and Andre would never see this one coming.

***

Evan rubbed her eyes before she went back to clicking through the filters in her photo editing program, trying to shake off the afternoon slump. The shots from the wedding had come out great, but the processing was where the magic happened. She’d been working her way through the photos for the last couple of days and only had a few left. She selected a pale yellow filter for the shot of the flower girl coming down the aisle and tossing petals straight up above her head. The ceremony had been held in the botanical gardens and the filter nudged the picture from pretty to sun-kissed and straight-up gorgeous.

Evan smiled at the pure exuberance on the little girl’s face and felt a pang in her chest. The long blond hair and bright eyes reminded her of a picture she’d received in the mail many years ago of her own daughter playing in a wildflower field. Dahlia was twelve now and happily living in Oklahoma with her adoptive parents, which was for the best. When Evan had gotten unexpectedly pregnant as a teen, she’d been in no condition to raise a baby. But it didn’t mean she didn’t still get that knocking in her chest when she thought of her, especially now that she was back together with Jace, Dahlia’s father.

She and Jace had visited Dahlia a few months ago. It’d been Jace’s first time seeing his daughter, and Evan teared up anytime she thought about it too long. The guilt she felt about never having told Jace about Dahlia until last year sat heavy on her still. She and Jace had been pulled apart before she’d ever known she was pregnant, but she could’ve worked harder to get the information to him. She’d wanted to spare him. She’d thought it would ruin his life. But it hadn’t been her call to make. And when she’d seen Jace, the guy always quick with a joke or a smile, break down and weep after seeing Dahlia, Evan had felt like she’d personally ripped his heart out again.

“Hey, whoa, what’s wrong?”

Evan looked up, finding her assistant Finn staring down at her with big, concerned eyes. “Huh?”

He glanced at the photo on her screen then back to her and touched his cheek. “You’re crying, hon.”

She put her hands to her face and, sure enough, her cheeks were wet. “Dammit.”

Finn reached over to pull a tissue from the box on her desk and handed it to her. “Everything all right?”

She dabbed at the tears and waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me. I’ve been so sleepy all day, and I think continuing to stare at this screen is making my eyes water.”

Finn frowned and pushed his shoulder-length black hair behind his ears. “You need to tell those hot men of yours to give you a night off and let you get some rest. Though, I can’t say I blame you for being unable to turn them down. You know, if you want me to fill in for you tonight …”

She laughed and shoved his arm. “Watch it, smart ass.”

He held up his hands. “I’m just saying. I’d take one—or two—for the team on your behalf.”

“Such a self-sacrificing assistant.”

He put his hand over his heart. “Always. But seriously, you should take a break. Go grab a nap on the couch in the back or something. I can run through the last set of photos for you. I’ve flipped through the others. I know the look you’re aiming for with them.”

She leaned back in her chair and stretched. Normally, she had trouble relinquishing control on this part of the process, even though she could trust Finn with it. He had a great eye. Plus, he wasn’t an intern anymore and deserved his chance at more important tasks. “Yeah, I’m actually going to take you up on that. Maybe if I can rest my eyes for a few minutes, it’ll refresh me. I promised I’d have these pictures done by the time the couple gets back from their honeymoon next week.”

Finn traded spots with her in the chair and smiled. “We’ll have them done way before that. Now go. I’ve got this.”

She gave his shoulder a squeeze and headed toward the small storage room in the back that they’d converted into a makeshift break room. She flicked off the overhead fluorescent and adjusted the blinds on the small window so that only a little of the afternoon light filtered in. Already she could feel her body giving itself over to the idea of rest. The phone rang in the front of the studio, but she resisted the urge to head back up there to grab it. Finn was capable. She went to the old radio they’d put on one of the shelves and turned it to the local light rock station, hoping that would block out any noises from up front.

Elton John’s “Sacrifice” filtered through the room, and Evan headed over to the plush couch she’d splurged on at an estate sale. She settled onto the soft cushions and tucked a throw pillow behind her head. If she could grab half an hour of sleep, she’d probably be good to go for the rest of the day. She’d overbooked herself lately. And though she’d protested that she was fine to Jace and Andre when they’d brought it up the morning after the wedding, she had to admit that it was wearing her down. Maybe she could clear some time at the end of the month and take a few days off.

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