Still Into You
Roni Loren

To my grandmother, Barbara, the first of the sassy women in our family.

I miss your laugh and your lemon meringue pie.

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Special Excerpt from Need You Tonight

About the Author

Also by Roni Loren

Copyright

About the Publisher

Chapter One

They’d chosen Letterman.

Seth shook his head, staring at their unmade bed. For the last few years of their marriage, he and Leila had a standing habit of making love on Wednesday nights. Not that it was a stated appointment or anything. But it was the only night he didn’t work late at the restaurant, so it had become their habit. A nice, enjoyable romp between two people who knew each other’s pleasure points as well as their own. Simple and to the point.

But last night, even though the kids were already asleep and Leila had been well-rested from a day off, she hadn’t reached for him.

And worse than that … he hadn’t reached for her either.

They’d chosen to watch David Letterman instead of having sex. Top Ten lists and dancing animals had been more interesting to them than each other.

With a heavy sigh, he stepped out of his cargo shorts and pulled on his work slacks. He’d wanted to bring it up with her this afternoon when he’d found her doing the dishes and staring out the window like she’d rather be anywhere but there. They needed to deal with whatever was going on—or not going on between them. But then Myra, their seven-year-old, had bounced into the kitchen asking him to check her spelling homework, and the moment had been lost.

But now the unspoken words sat heavy on his chest. Through the ups and downs of their eight years of marriage, he and Leila had been through rough times. Being unexpected parents while they were still in college had almost killed their marriage before it got started. But never before had he felt this yawning space between them. He’d thought it was because he’d been so busy with the restaurant lately. But even when they had time, like last night, they’d only sat in companionable silence, occasionally chatting about something one of the kids did that day. Comfortable but just … there.

He searched though his drawer looking for his general manager name tag, then remembered he’d taken it off in the bathroom. He headed to the closed bathroom door and eased it open, a cloud of steam hitting him as he entered. He started to call out to Leila to warn her he was in there. But the low moan that came from the other side of the shower curtain halted the words in his throat. He froze.

The distinct sound of soap slicking over skin mixed in with the patter of the shower water. Then a throaty “yes” whispered through the humid air. His body snapped to attention even though Leila getting herself off right now had implications that were anything but sexy.

He’d told her he was just running out for a few minutes to drop the kids off at his parents’ house. She knew he was going to be right back. Available. At least for a few minutes before both of them left for work.

But she’d chosen her hand instead of her husband.

She groaned again, and he tried to recall the last time he’d heard her sound that into it when she was with him. Who was she imagining on the other side of those touches? Clearly it wasn’t him because she could’ve had the real thing had she been willing to wait a few minutes. Maybe he was no longer as interesting as a fantasy.

She cried out softly, and he could picture her head tilted back against the tile wall, fingers buried inside herself, her orgasm pulsing through her as the water streamed over the heavy swells of her breasts. No doubt a beautiful sight. One he could stroke off to just imagining, but one that didn’t include him.

His cock pushed against the fly of his pants even as hurt coursed through him. On one hand, he was happy to know Leila’s sex drive was still there, because there had been times when he’d wondered if their lovemaking was simply an obligation she thought she needed to fulfill. But knowing that she’d chosen to get herself off instead of reaching for him stung deep.

He wasn’t satisfying his wife.

And if he was truly honest with himself, he hadn’t been satisfied for a long time either. Sex had turned into another item on their to-do list. He loved her with a depth he couldn’t describe, but the fire that used to sizzle between them was now a pile of dim embers.

The water cut off, and he took a vaulting step backward, shutting the door behind him as quickly and as quietly as he could. He hurried over to the side of the bed and busied himself making it. Leila stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later in a swirl of coconut-soap-scented air.

“Oh, hey,” she said, her voice holding a hint of stiffness but the glow of her skin betraying the remnants of her orgasm. “I didn’t realize you’d made it back already.”

He wanted to go to her, drag her against him, and show her how much more he could offer than some quick work in the shower, but the distracted look in her eye kept him at bay. He didn’t think he could handle her pushing him away. “I just got back.”

She nodded and fastened the last button on the top of her blouse. “The kids were okay staying at your mom’s tonight?”

“Yeah, they were already negotiating for ice cream after dinner.” He tossed the throw pillows onto the bed in a haphazard way he knew probably drove his interior designer wife mad. “Is that a new outfit?”

She glanced down and smoothed the skirt. “No, I wear this one all the time. I got it on clearance last year, but it’s a size too small. If I breathe too hard, the zipper will bust.”

He frowned. She wore that all the time? How had he not noticed something that hugged her curves that well? Had it been that long since he’d really checked her out?

“Nah, you look great. I’m sure Kade Van Whatever-his-name-is will hire you on the spot.”

“Right, my ass squeezed into Spanx and a too-small skirt is a surefire plan.” She rolled her eyes as she pinned her dark auburn hair into a knot.

He hated when she did that—talked like her curvy figure was a bad thing. Since she’d had their second child, she’d taken to making those offhanded comments about her weight. And she’d damn near yelled at him the last time he’d tried to leave the lights on during sex. He took a breath, trying to formulate his approach. “Leila, is everything okay?”

What he really wanted to ask was, Are we okay? But he held back.

She paused, her mouth thinning for a moment before smiling. “Everything’s fine. I’m just stressed about this appointment tonight. I want to get everything right.”

Her tone was bright, but there was a clear please-don’t-push look in her eye.

With a silent sigh of defeat, he stepped past her to get his name badge out of the bathroom. She may not want to talk about it, but something had to give. This was no way for either of them to live. “You have any late appointments tomorrow?”

“No, but you’re working, right?”

He tucked the name tag into his pants pocket, a plan taking shape in his head.

Enough of this tiptoeing around each other bull. Like his mother used to say: Talk doesn’t cook rice. There was no way he was going to stand by and let this distance between them continue to grow. If making Leila talk about it was only going to cause her to shut down more, he needed a different tactic. Something more drastic. “I’m not sure. But don’t make any plans, all right?”

He walked back into the bedroom to find her sitting on the edge of the bed. She glanced up from fastening the strap on her shoe, surprise flickering over her face before she covered the emotion. “Uh, okay.”

He smiled, relieved that she wasn’t going to grill him with questions—one benefit of knowing she was distracted by the appointment she was headed to. Feeling a dash of hope for the first time that evening, he walked over and kissed the top of her head. “Good luck with your client. I have no doubt you’ll wow him.”

“Are you going to be late tonight?” she asked, looking up at him, something akin to resignation underscoring her voice.

He frowned. He wanted to tell her no, wanted to tell her to wait up for him. But if he was going to execute this new plan, he was going to have to go on an after-work field trip tonight. One that she didn’t need to know about yet. He shifted his gaze away, plucking a lie from the air. “Yeah, it’s going to be a really late night. I have to do inventory after we close. And Rory is looking at me hard for that promotion, so I need to make sure everything is to the letter.”

She stood. “Well, I have to get up early for an appointment, so I guess I’ll see you some time tomorrow afternoon.”

“Definitely.”

Yep, they were going to see each other, all right. Hopefully in a whole new light.

Chapter Two

Leila sat in her SUV in the driveway of Kade Vandergriff’s estate, trying to center herself and get her brain into designing mode. This could be the biggest job of her career so far, and she needed to focus on the task at hand—not on the fact that she’d felt like a stranger standing there with Seth in their bedroom tonight.

She leaned back in her seat, resisting the urge to tap her forehead against the steering wheel.

It used to be that when her husband came home from work, her heart and body would light up to see him. Like a drug she couldn’t get enough of. But as he spent more and more time at the restaurant and the late nights grew more frequent, she realized that his presence in her day had become less and less … notable.

Then tonight, the vibe between them had been downright awkward.

She’d heard the bathroom door shut after she’d come in the shower. Her husband had known what she’d been doing. The old straight-shooting Seth would’ve asked her why she hadn’t waited for him. Would’ve asked her what she was thinking about and if he could help. But he hadn’t even brought it up. Like it didn’t matter that he’d caught his wife getting herself off.

But in a way, she was glad he hadn’t asked about it.

Because he wouldn’t like the answers.

She didn’t like the answers. Didn’t like that when she closed her eyes, she pictured far dirtier things than she and Seth ever did. Pictured someone looking at her with heated need in his eyes instead of the vague interest she got from her husband. Imagined people other than Seth bringing her to that place of abandon.

The porch light on the main house clicked on, and Leila realized she’d been sitting like a lame duck in the driveway—talk radio blabbing too loud in the background, her brain a million miles away. Great. Way to make a first impression. After hurriedly smoothing her hair, she grabbed the door handle and her bag and climbed out of her SUV.

The main door opened before she could raise her hand to knock. She plastered on a smile, expecting to be greeted by a maid or something, but Texas’s answer to a Nordic god opened the door instead. The man’s mouth stretched into a warm, welcoming grin. “So do you have my garden fully redesigned by now?”

Leila nearly choked on her tongue, overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of this man. She usually preferred men with dark features like Seth. But whoa. “Huh?”

He nodded toward the driveway. “Thought you were writing up a landscaping plan out there or something.”

Her cheeks heated. “Oh, right. Sorry about that. I, uh, had to take a call.”

“No worries.” He stuck out his hand. “Kade Vandergriff. After all those phone conversations back and forth, it’s good to finally meet you in person, Ms. Carlo.”

“Oh, Leila, please. So nice to meet you, too. I’m glad I could finally catch you in town.” She shifted her bag to her opposite shoulder and offered her hand. He enveloped her hand between his two palms and seemed to hold on a second too long. Not that she was counting or wondering if her hand was sweaty or anything. Not at all. “Your grounds are really beautiful. I love the fountain and all the garden lighting.”

He pushed the door open wider and motioned her inside. “Thank you. I’m really happy with how it came out. Now I just need someone to make the inside look as put together because I’m about as good at decorating as I am at knitting.”

She laughed, the sound echoing with the click of her heels on the tumbled marble floor of the foyer. “Hopefully I can assist with that part.”

“Counting on it,” he said, his accent a melodic mix of Texas drawl and old money. She knew the sound well. Her own family had the same. “Would you like something to drink?”

Well, he was a tall glass of water she wouldn’t mind sipping on, but she shoved the wicked thought from her brain. “No, thank you, I’m fine.”

“Great, why don’t we get started then?” He led her through the entryway. “Now I know I’ve sent you some pictures, but why don’t I give you a quick tour, and afterward we can sit down and go over your ideas?”

“Sounds good.” She dug a notepad and her digital camera out of her bag, trying to keep her focus when everything about this man was setting her off kilter. She’d talked to him numerous times on the phone. Him being hot as hell shouldn’t have gotten her this discombobulated. Even if she was picturing him naked. “I can’t wait to see everything in the flesh.”

The words were out before she could edit them, and a little choking sound escaped her.

He chuckled, no doubt catching the color in her cheeks. “I’m more than happy to show it all to you, then.”

She glanced up at that, meeting the deep-sea color of his eyes. A quiver went over her, his steady gaze like a branding iron on her skin, making her think the double entendre hadn’t been lost on him.

Holy hell. He couldn’t possibly be looking at her like that. This was the kind of guy who went after supermodels, not moms who were praying their suck-in-the-belly underwear wouldn’t give out on them if they sat the wrong way.

She broke the eye contact and fidgeted with her camera. She needed to get a grip. This guy wasn’t hitting on her. She was married. And a mom. And here on business. God, was she so hungry for male attention that now she was seeing things where they weren’t? She cleared her throat. “Uh, why don’t we start in the game room? I saw it on the blueprint you sent me, but I don’t think there were any photos of it in the files.”

He crossed his arms, the move pulling his navy blue T-shirt taut around his biceps, and considered her. “Maybe we should start with downstairs first. We can work our way up to the game room.”

She shrugged, not sure why it mattered either way, but getting the sense that he definitely thought it did. “No problem. You’re in charge.”

“Right.” He seemed to be smiling at some private joke, but didn’t let her in on it. “This way.”

She followed him around the expansive bottom floor of his home, listening to him describe what he hoped to accomplish with the remodel. He’d inherited the house from his father’s side of the family, but the décor—though expensive—was decidedly “old lady antique.” Not exactly what Kade was going for. He’d made some changes here and there to modernize things, but the house needed an overall plan and redesign. And though he had solid vision on the functionality he wanted for each space, he was leaving most of the décor part to whomever he chose as the designer.

Leila asked questions, taking notes and additional photos. She did everything she was supposed to be doing. But her mind was decidedly somewhere else. Mostly on Kade and how he kept easing in and out of her personal space, bringing with him the smell of expensive aftershave and man. He had touched her shoulder to punctuate sentences, pressed his fingertips to the small of her back to lead her in a different direction. Each time he got near her, Leila found herself heating in a way she hadn’t in a very long time.

And she felt like absolute shit about it.

This was not who she was. She’d only slept with and loved one man her entire life. Seth. The gorgeous man who had married her at nineteen despite the fact that it would’ve been easier for him to walk away or ask her to have an abortion. He’d been the boy who all the other pretty co-eds had drooled over, but he’d chosen her—the nerdy art student who didn’t know a mascara wand from a toilet brush. He’d been willing to give up on his dreams and youthful freedom to marry her. They’d been a team, raising the baby they hadn’t planned for, dealing with whatever life threw at them. He’d been her hero.

Had been. Until he’d started spending more and more time at work. As his stress level and workload had gone up, the bond between them had dwindled down to a lackluster friendship. The passion had drained out of their relationship like a receding ocean tide.

Even so, the fact that she could look at another man with lust in her heart felt like a betrayal. But she didn’t know how to stop the stirring of desire. The restlessness. Her body had been on autopilot for years, but lately it seemed like some dormant area had been prodded. Suddenly she wanted more than what she had at home. Wanted to have a man look at her like he had to have her. Wanted to feel the same urgency when she looked at him. Needed that zing that only came from true sexual energy.

Something she, once upon a time, had with the man she loved.

Kade touched her shoulder again, and Leila nearly jumped out of her skin. “You’ve gotten quiet. Are those design gears working?”

A nervous laugh escaped her. “Oh, sorry. I’m picturing what color schemes would work best with the stone of the fireplace. The hearth will make a really beautiful focal point.”

“Agreed. So beautiful.”

She glanced up and caught him looking at her instead of the fireplace. She swallowed hard. “Uh, are you ready to show me the upstairs rooms? I mean, if you want to talk about the downstairs plans first, that’s fine. It’s just, it’s usually easier for me to give you the overall scheme at once and—”

He touched her arm and used a tone usually reserved for skittish horses. “Leila, take a breath. There’s no need to be nervous. What happened to that confident woman who’s been selling me on her ideas over the phone these last few weeks?”

She put her hand to her too warm forehead, wishing there was a trapdoor in the floor to suck her under. “I’m sorry, Kade. I’m not sure what’s with me tonight.”

“If you’re worried about getting selected for the job, I can put your mind at ease. You have my business. I had already decided to hire you before tonight.”

She lowered her hand, looking at him in surprise. “But I’ve only talked to you about a few of my ideas.”

“And those ideas were heads and shoulders above anything anyone else sent me.” He shrugged. “You have a great eye.”

“But then why did you call me out here tonight?”

He ran a hand over the back of his hair, looking a little unsure of himself for the first time. “The real answer or the appropriate one?”

Her lips went as dry as parchment. “Real.”

“Because I wanted to see if you were going to be as beautiful and enticing in person as you sounded on the phone.” His smile was part apology, part wolfish. “Half of me was hoping you wouldn’t be because I’m having a helluva time concentrating on talking renovations right now when all I want to do is ask you out.”

A little gasp passed her lips. She stared at him, the flowered wallpaper of the sitting room seeming to swirl and morph in the background as she attempted to make sense of what he was saying. He wanted to ask her out? She barely resisted the urge to look over her shoulder to see if he was talking to someone else. Maybe he’d been drinking.

He gave a short laugh, his own nervousness evident. “Uh, maybe I should’ve stuck with the appropriate answer instead.”

She closed her eyes for a second, gathering herself. “Kade, I’m … flattered.” And seduced and totally tempted. And a horrible, vile person. “But, I can’t. I’m married.”

His eyes widened. “Oh, wow, I’m sorry. I got the vibe we were flirting on the phone and when I saw you weren’t wearing a ring I assumed …”

Her brows knitted. “What?”

Both she and Kade looked down to her left hand and, to her horror, she saw she hadn’t put her wedding ring back on after her shower. She never forgot her ring.

And what had he said? She’d been flirty on the phone?

She thought back to their many calls back and forth over the last few weeks. They’d developed a good rapport and had shared a few laughs. He’d made a few comments about how she was becoming a habit. And … shit, she had been flirty.

Her blood began to pound in her ears. Had she left her ring on the edge of the sink subconsciously hoping for exactly what had happened?

She shoved her notes in her bag, her hands going clammy. “Kade, I’m sorry. But I have to go.”

“Oh, no,” he said, genuine remorse on his face. “This is my fault. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I really do want you for this job. I wasn’t lying about how much I love your design ideas.”

“Maybe it would be best if—”

“Please, Leila. Can we just start over and I’ll not be a jackass this time?” He gave her a disarming grin and lifted his palms. “I would’ve never said anything if I had known you were married.”

She knew she was overreacting. It’s not like he’d come on to her knowing she was attached. But her own reaction had her too freaked out to continue the meeting. She wanted this job so bad she could taste it, but she needed some space to get her head back on straight and her defenses back in place. “Can we just plan to meet at my office sometime next week? We can go over my plans there.”

In a totally businesslike environment.

He frowned and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you’d like.”

“And bring photos of the game room if you can,” she said, already heading back toward the front door.

His heavier footsteps followed hers. “That’s okay. I think I’ll handle that room on my own.”

She had no idea why he was being so weird about the game room, but she wasn’t going to hang out and question him about it. She needed out. Now. Before she totally lost her shit in front of him.

He walked her to her car and apologized at least three more times, but she barely heard any of it. She wasn’t even sure she took a breath until she turned the corner out of his swanky neighborhood. The radio, which was still on the talk station, chattered in the background as she tried to organize the tangle of emotions rioting through her.

How could she have let this happen?

Her hands were slick with sweat against the wheel, and she wondered if this was what a panic attack felt like. Breathe.

“Tonight we’re talking about the seven-year itch. Is it a myth? An excuse used to justify cheating? We’d love to hear from our listeners out there. 1-888-Doc-Love.” The voice of Dr. Dan Witter, relationship coach and popular radio personality, filtered through her panicked brain like weird background music, poking the ugly things inside her.

She gripped the steering wheel harder and turned onto a side street, her heart still pounding. Cheating.

The word sent her stomach into a tumble.

She hadn’t done anything tonight. She hadn’t cheated.

But … she’d wanted to.

Tears filled her eyes and the street blurred. She pulled over to the side of the road and let that realization overtake her. When had she become this person?

Her marriage was dying a quiet death, and she had no idea how to resuscitate it. She and Seth had kids and a life together. How was she supposed to tell the man she’d fallen in love with and the father of her children that she’d gotten to this point?

She leaned back against the headrest, letting the tears fall, and without allowing herself to think about it too much, she picked up her cell phone and dialed.

Chapter Three

Past midnight. Seth should’ve been tired after the balls-to-the-wall shift he’d managed at the restaurant tonight, but the fuel of going into mission mode had his body humming like he’d downed a double shot of espresso. This had to work.

Seth slowed down and parked his car in front of the only store on the street open at this time of night. He’d been here many times for social visits, but never as a customer. The kind of stuff Leila’s younger brother, Jace, stocked at Wicked had always been a bit more advanced than Seth had ever found need for. Plus, buying sex toys and gear from your little brother was way too high on Leila’s eww scale.

But Seth was past awkwardness right now. He needed help. Jace had never made any apologies for his choice of business and didn’t hide his proclivities for the wilder side, so he didn’t imagine Jace would get weird about Seth coming to him. The guy was about as comfortable in his own skin as anyone could be. Well, except when Jace was around his father. That was a whole other story.

Leila had always said that if it weren’t for Jace taking up the mantle of the family fuckup, she would’ve been the one disowned when she’d gotten pregnant at nineteen by the boy with no stitch of pedigree to his name. But apparently Jace had done enough scandalous things to keep Leila off the radar—though no one had ever told Seth what the big thing was that got Jace kicked out of the house for good.

Not that Leila had gone unscathed with her family when she’d gotten together with Seth. When Seth had asked Leila’s father permission to marry his daughter, Bill Austin had called Seth a money-hungry scrub and had accused him of getting Leila pregnant just to get access to her trust fund. The accusation had hit deep.

Seth had already been feeling the pressure of an impending marriage and a baby on the way, knowing the cash from his part-time waiter job and the few gigs his band did would never be enough to support a family. And God knows his own family wouldn’t be able to help. His dad did well enough with his plumbing job, but he knew his parents were only a paycheck or two ahead of being broke. The only reason Seth had even been able to go to the fancy art college and rub shoulders with the likes of rich girls like Leila was because his mom was the dean’s secretary.

So Seth had done the only thing he could think of to politely give her father a big “fuck you.” He’d dropped out of his music program and his band, switched to a business major, and had gotten a better-paying job cooking full time at the restaurant. He’d also told Bill Austin to sign the entirety of Leila’s trust fund over to their unborn child for when he or she turned twenty-one. Seth would support Leila and his child on his own.

The move had earned a bit of her father’s respect, and her family had even let them live rent-free for five years in one of the houses they owned. But Seth hadn’t missed the raised eyebrow Bill had given him when it’d come time for the family to sell that house. Seth had had to move Leila and the kids to a much smaller place now that he was responsible for the mortgage. Leila had put on a happy face, but he knew it had been hard on her to give up what she was used to simply because he hadn’t hit the big time in his career yet.

She’d told him on the day she married him that she didn’t need that silver spoon, that all she needed was him. That she trusted they would make a happy life together. And he’d spent the last eight years busting his ass trying to prove to her that she hadn’t made the wrong choice.

And though he’d not yet been able to provide her with the kind of life she’d grown up with, they’d eked out a pretty decent living. He brought in enough money to allow Leila to pursue her fledgling design business. He’d even been secretly putting away cash to accumulate a down payment on the kind of house Leila really wanted. If he could just secure a promotion, the house of her dreams would be theirs.

But now Seth wondered if what he’d done had been enough. His wife wasn’t happy. He was miserable. Maybe Leila had finally realized that she’d gotten a bum deal when she’d walked away from her lavish lifestyle just for the chance to be with him.

No. He wouldn’t go down that path yet. That line of thought led nowhere good.

He cut off the engine and climbed out of the car, determined to execute his plan. When faced with a problem, usually the simplest solution was the right one. His father, Mr. Pragmatic, had hammered that into him as a kid. There was no reason Seth needed to start imagining the lack of sexual heat in his marriage was anything more than the fact that he and Leila had both gotten complacent and routine.

If anyone knew how to fix that kind of situation, it would be Jace Austin. So Seth walked into Wicked, not even pausing to admire all the beautiful erotic photography gracing the walls of the bottom level, and headed straight up the stairs where he knew he’d find his brother-in-law.

The second floor of the building was where the actual store was located. Rows and rows of carefully chosen items to cater to almost any sexual taste. High-end lingerie, vibrators, plugs, jewelry, and a BDSM section that was so extensive Seth would need a manual to identify half the items. Looking at the inventory, it was no secret where Jace’s kink preferences fell.

Seth looked to the far corner of the store where Jace’s office was located and headed that way. He knocked on the closed door, suddenly wondering if he should’ve called first.

“Door’s unlocked,” Jace called.

Seth pushed open the door to find his brother-in-law with his feet propped up on the desk and a notepad and pen in hand. The radio was squawking out of the computer speakers as Jace wrote something down. When he was done with his note, he glanced up, registering surprise at first then breaking into a smile. “Well, hey there, bro-in-law. Not who I expected to be darkening my doorway.”

“I’m sorry, if you’re expecting someone …”

Jace rocked forward, bringing his feet from the top of the desk back to the floor. “Oh, no. Not at all. I figured it was Andre coming downstairs to shoot the shit before his shift.”

Jace lived in a renovated loft on the third floor of the building with his roommate, Andre. The ultimate bachelor pad if Seth had ever seen one. And though Leila would never confirm or deny, Seth suspected Jace and Andre weren’t just sharing rent but were sharing women. He couldn’t even imagine what that kind of freewheeling lifestyle must be like. Seth had done his fair share of wild things by the time he met Leila, but getting married at twenty-one had basically ended his bachelorhood right as it had begun. He didn’t regret his decision, but looking at guys like Jace and Andre was like observing an entirely different species.

Jace stepped around the desk to give Seth a friendly handshake and a slap on the back. “It’s good to see you, man. Just getting off work?”

“Yeah. Sorry to drop in so late.” Seth sank into one of the chairs opposite the desk, a bone-deep weariness settling over him as he absorbed the surroundings. Jace’s office was posh, beautifully appointed with warm woods and deep maroon accents. Jace had let Leila use it as practice when she was still getting her design business off the ground. Just seeing how well she’d done even before she really had any experience under her belt was a testament to her level of natural talent.

“No worries. I don’t close up here for a little while still. You want a beer or something? Looks like you had a rough night.” Jace leaned over and turned the volume on his speakers down a bit.

Seth rubbed the back of his neck, the tension coiling there like a ready-to-strike snake. “Beer would be great.”

Jace headed to the mini-fridge in the far corner of the office, grabbed two bottles, and brought one back to Seth. Instead of returning to his desk chair, Jace sat on the couch he had for guests and twisted open his beer. He took a long pull, keeping his eyes on Seth, obviously waiting for him to reveal why he was here.

“What are you listening to?” Seth asked, not quite ready to jump into the I-need-sex-advice-about-yoursister conversation.

Jace glanced at his desk when Seth cocked his head in that direction. “Oh, that Dr. Dan radio show everyone seems to be buzzing about. His manager contacted me a few days ago to see if I’d be interested in doing a talk on spicing things up at one of the couples’ workshops he’s giving around the state. With this economy, I could use any promotion I can get for Wicked, so I’m doing my homework to see what he’s about.”

“Mmm,” Seth said noncommittally, picking at the label on his beer. “Interesting.”

Jace laughed. “Yeah, and you totally didn’t hear anything I said.”

Seth winced. “I’m sorry, man.”

“No worries. Obviously you’ve got something on your mind.” He set his beer down on the side table. “So, go ahead. Lay it on me.”

“Right.” Seth gulped down a good portion of his beer. Might as well put it out there. “This is awkward. But I need you to forget for a few minutes that I’m married to your sister and help me out with something.”

Jace’s brows disappeared beneath his shaggy blond hairline. “Okay …”

Seth sighed as he rubbed a hand over his face. “My sex life is in the shitter. I’m only thirty-one and already feel like I’ve gone into old married couple mode. I’m not happy. Leila isn’t happy. I love her more than anything, but I think we’re growing apart because of it. And I want to figure out a way to change it.”

The words flooded out of Seth in a rush, the relief of saying it aloud almost as potent as the shame of admitting it to someone else.

Jace stared at him, a frown tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Wow, man, I didn’t see that one coming. You and Lei always seem so damn happy.”

“We are, in a lot of ways. We have a good life, great kids, we love each other. But lately it’s like we’ve become business partners instead of husband and wife.” He looked at the closed door that led to the store, praying that the answer was on the other side. “I was hoping if I spiced things up some, bought some new things to try, I could find that spark again.”

Jace leaned fully back on the couch, his forehead wrinkled. “So how spicy are you looking to go?”

Seth cringed a bit, remembering this was his wife’s little brother he was taking to. “Uh …”

Jace smirked. “Look, I’m not going to lie. It’s a little weird offering to help you bed my sister better. Believe me. But I care about you two. Y’all took me in when the rest of my family turned their backs on me. I saw how good you were with each other and the kids. I don’t want to see that fall apart over something as simple as being bored in bed.”

Seth smiled at that. “You’re a good guy, Jace.”

“That’s debatable. But go ahead and pick your poison.” Jace picked his beer back up and took a sip. “Lingerie, toys, bondage gear, S&M, role-playing—how kinky are we talking?”

The slew of possibilities was both enticing and overwhelming at the same time. He and Leila had never done anything really kinky except a one-time we-could-get-caught semi-public sex early in their relationship. He’d done his fair share of kinky stuff with girls he’d met playing in his band in college, but he’d turned that part of himself off once he’d fallen for Lei. She’d been a virgin when he’d met her, and he’d wanted to give her romance, not raunchiness. So he had no idea what she may or may not respond to. “I guess maybe we could start with—”

A familiar sound cut him off mid-sentence, shriveling the words in his throat.

Jace frowned. “What’s wrong?”

Seth held up a finger, shushing Jace, and honed in on what he thought he’d heard. The radio show had come back from commercial and had taken a new caller.

“Mary, it’s okay. Try to take a breath and start again. We’re here to help,” the doctor soothed.

A long pause on the airwaves, and then the tear-choked voice Seth had heard the first time filled the silence. “I’m sorry. It’s just—I think I almost cheated on my husband tonight.”

Seth’s skin turned clammy, and white noise hummed so loudly in his ears, he could barely hear Dr. Dan encouraging the caller to go on. His fingers dug into his thighs.

“Dude, what’s wrong?” Jace asked again, scooting forward on the couch. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“The radio,” he whispered, the words scratching past his dry throat. “It’s Leila.”

“I have kids and I love my husband. So much. But he’s never home and I feel so … alone. I find myself wanting things I shouldn’t, wanting other people, wanting to feel really alive again …” Her voice caught for a moment, then: “I’m a horrible person.”

“Oh, shit,” Jace said under his breath.

Seth put his head in his hands, closing his eyes as his world tumbled down around him. His wife wanted other people. People who weren’t him.

This wasn’t something he could fix with a new set of lingerie and some sexy videos.

He tried not the vomit on the Turkish rug Leila had picked out for Jace’s office.

The rest of the call was a hazy swirl of word soup. Dr. Dan prodded Leila with a few questions and then suggested couples’ counseling or something. What the fuck did it matter? Sitting in an office with some shrink wasn’t going to fix this. He and Leila had done counseling early on after the baby was born and both had agreed it’d been a big waste of time. They’d worked things out in their own way—through action, not touchy-feely talk-it-out sessions.

At some point Jace got up and turned off the show. Then a warm hand landed on Seth’s shoulder. “Man, I’m really sorry you had to hear that.”

Seth shook his head, wishing to God he hadn’t had to experience this in front of someone else. Knowing your wife wanted to fuck someone other than you was humiliating enough without an audience. “I should … I should go.”

Jace’s hand stayed firm, keeping Seth in his seat when he tried to get up. “Hold up.”

“No, I need to go. Obviously what I came here for would be like using a water gun on a forest fire. My wife wants out.” His whole body itched to get up and run. To where, he had no idea. Maybe into a brick wall.

“Seth, just give me a minute here, okay?” Jace said, his tone calm. “This doesn’t have to mean the end or that it’s time to give up.”

Seth scoffed. “Right. My wife almost slept with someone else tonight.”

Jace sat on the edge of his desk. “But she didn’t. And she’s obviously upset about having those feelings. If she didn’t love you or care about your marriage, she would’ve done it and lied. Getting away with an affair is not that hard. People do it all the time.”

“Oh, there’s a comforting thought.” Seth thought of all the hours he spent slaving at the restaurant, all those nights Leila could easily sneak away with a lover if she wanted to.

“Believe me, in this business, I see a lot.” Jace crossed his arms and considered Seth. “How experienced was Leila when you two got together?”

Seth’s mind was buzzing with a mass of half-formed thoughts and fully formed emotions. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Jace simply waited.

“I was her first.”

Jace nodded. “Okay, so Leila’s been with one guy her entire life. She had to give up those experimental years because she became a wife and mother too young. I would think if she wasn’t feeling at least some temptation by now, she wouldn’t be normal.”

“Yeah, but what am I supposed to do about that?” Seth asked, the words jagged. “I can do a lot. I can try to find some time to take off work. I can spice things up as much as she wants, but it’s still me in her bed. The same guy.”

Jace shrugged. “What if it’s not? What if you let her have what she wants?”

“What? You expect me to just turn my head and let her cheat?”

Jace raised a palm to him. “Hear me out. I know my thinking tends to be a bit … alternative. But what if you gave each other a weekend off from monogamy?”

Seth looked at Jace like he’d started talking Sanskrit. “Yeah, right. Why don’t I just draw up divorce papers now?”

“No, I’m serious. I know a number of couples who do this successfully. They love each other and want to stay together, but feel trapped by the strict rules of marriage. So every now and then they go to a safe place where they can take a break and stretch the rules a bit. On the far end, that could mean totally swapping partners. On the lighter end, it could mean something like ménage.”

“A safe place?”

“Yeah, a place where everyone knows what’s going on, where no one is trying to steal each other’s mate, and where no one in your normal life will see you out with someone other than your spouse.”

“Jace, look, I appreciate you trying to help, but I think I would want to maim and dismember any guy who tried to touch my wife.” A sick feeling rolled through his stomach. “And what if I did let her do something like that and she decided she didn’t want back in the marriage?”

Jace’s sympathy was written across his features. “That is a risk. But what’s that old saying? Sometimes the only way to see if someone loves you is to set them free and see if they come back to you.”

Seth’s throat burned with unshed tears, his worst fear laid out before him.

If Leila had to do it all over, would she choose him again?

He had his doubts.

Jace blew out a breath and grabbed a business card off his desk. He scrawled something on the back and handed it to Seth. “That’s the number for a friend of mine who owns a resort where you and Leila could do this. There’s a big process to become a member, but I’ll call him and give him your name to let him know you’d be personal guests of mine.”

The card seemed to singe Seth’s fingertips—like taking it was making some Faustian deal with the universe. “Jace, I really—”

“You don’t have to use it. I won’t bring it up ever again. Whether you call or not is totally up to you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Just know it’s there if you decide you need it.”

“Thanks for your help.” Seth stood. “But I’m not going to give up on us yet.”

Jace nodded. “I really hope y’all can work it out, man.”

Seth tucked the card in his pocket and headed out the door, his shoulders sagging with the weight of knowing he was going home to a wife who didn’t want him anymore.

Chapter Four

The house alarm beeped, announcing Seth’s arrival. Leila hurriedly splashed water on her face, trying to erase the evidence of her tears, and then turned off the lights to get into bed before he made his way upstairs.

Seth opened the door with a soft click and padded into the room on sock-covered feet. He was always so careful of her now, always making sure to be quiet when he came in late so as not to wake her. Early on in their relationship, he’d come home and would have to nudge her awake, like he couldn’t go to sleep without talking to her about his day, without kissing her, touching her …

Her throat tightened with a fresh urge to cry, but she swallowed hard and kept her eyes closed. The jostle of a belt buckle and the rustle of clothes filled the heavy darkness as Seth stripped down to his boxers. She took a deep breath, determined to put her plan into action, determined to show herself she could shut out what had happened earlier tonight.

Seth walked to his side of the bed, pausing for what seemed like forever. She could almost feel his stare burning into her back. Was he thinking of waking her? But he blew out a long breath, and the bed dipped as he slipped beneath the sheets. Just like every other night. Two strangers sharing mattress real estate.

He flipped around a few times, trying to find a comfortable spot, though Leila knew he’d end up on his right side with his knee draped over the edge of the bed—that’s always how he slept. She curled the sheets in her fists, building up her nerve. This was her husband. She shouldn’t be scared that he might turn her away or not be interested.

Rallying up all the courage she had within her, she turned to face Seth’s back. He had stilled now, but his breathing wasn’t in the relaxed tempo of sleep yet. Corded muscles twitched as he adjusted his pillow, the long lines of his back beckoning her but also reminding her of another set of strong, wide shoulders she’d seen tonight. She pinched her lids shut, chastising herself. She would not think of Kade, not right now. Even though the way he had looked at her had been branded on her brain.

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