Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd

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First published by Kendall Ryan Books 2014

First published in Great Britain by Harper 2015

Copyright © Kendall Ryan 2015

Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2015

Cover photographs © Gallerystock

Kendall Ryan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

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Source ISBN: 9781502327222

Ebook Edition © February 2015 ISBN: 9780008133870

Version 2015-02-02

Praise for Filthy Beautiful Lies

‘Provocative and filthy…I. Love. This. Book.’ – Roxy Sloane, #1 bestselling erotica author

‘Every Kendall Ryan book should come with a fan and some batteries because they are that hot.’ – Lauren Blakely, New York Times & USA Today bestselling author

‘Compelling characters in a wicked hot story. Kendall Ryan is a goddess.’ – Lexi Ryan, New York Times & USA Today bestselling author

‘Intense, consuming, and ridiculously sexy…Kendall Ryan has outdone herself yet again.’ – Emma Hart, New York Times bestselling author

‘Sinfully enticing, sexually charged and lust driven! Filthy Beautiful Lies is Kendall Ryan at her devastatingly best.’ – Rachel Brookes, author of the bestselling Breathe series

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Praise for Filthy Beautiful Lies

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

KR Page Lies

KR Page Lust

KR Page Forever

KR Page When I Break

About the Author

Tell Me Your Favorite Part!

Connect With Kendall Ryan:

Also by Kendall Ryan

W6 Book Cafe

About the Publisher

Chapter One

Sophie

‘Are you going to tell me where the money came from?’ Becca looks at me expectantly over the rim of her third glass of Chardonnay.

‘Colton,’ my liquor-loosened tongue reveals before I can filter it. ‘He and I had a kind of arrangement.’

‘How did you meet him?’ Becca asks, her gaze inquisitive.

‘Next question.’ I might be several drinks past drunk but there’s no way I’m telling her about the auction. I needed to maintain some dignity in this shameful situation.

Her eyes never stray from mine as she takes another contemplative sip. We’re sitting at a tiny bar in the lobby of our hotel. When I’d found out about Colton’s marital status, I’d fled for home, broken hearted and destroyed. Becca convinced me we needed a girl’s weekend away. I’d done one better and flew us to Rome on a whim. So here we sit, halfway around the world and all we can think to discuss is the exact topic that sent me running in the first place. Awesome. I take another healthy swig of my beverage. God, don’t they have anything stronger than wine in this country?

‘What kind of arrangement can you make with a man where he just gives you half a million dollars, Soph?’ Her tone is accusatory. Good thing she doesn’t know about the rest of the money, which is tucked inside my own bank account. I know my family has a lot of questions about where the money for Becca’s treatment came from, and so far, I haven’t said a word. Until now. Her eyes grow wide and she slaps a hand over her mouth. ‘Oh my God, were you like, his sex slave?’ She giggles.

My cheeks burn brightly, but I shake my head. ‘You’d have to actually have sex for that to be the case, I’d think…’

She’s still giggling, so I know she has no idea she’s hit the nail on the head. Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner.

‘Let’s not talk about the money, Becca. It’s not important. Colton was willing to provide it, and I don’t regret anything because it helped you get better. Please just let it go,’ I plead with her to let it drop. Her health is cooperating for once and I want to enjoy this trip – just us. I don’t want to even think about the name Colton Drake. It’s much too painful.

‘If he’s as hot as you’ve said he is, I would have had a hard time not ripping his clothes off and jumping him. Oops, I’m sorry, my vagina accidentally landed on your penis.’

I crack a smile at her change in topic. Of course it’s about sex. Becca’s not a virgin and she’s much more forward about sex than I am. You’d think it’d be the opposite, but somehow, I’m the cautious one, whereas being sick from a young age taught her to grab life by the balls and live it to the fullest. I envy her in that.

Her first sexual experience was with a boy in the cancer treatment center. He was seventeen and she was just fifteen at the time. She’d told me every single detail, a proud gleam in her eye. It was inspiring how she let nothing stand in her way. I’d summoned her inner strength the night I stood on that auction block waiting to be sold.

‘Soph?’ she asks, drawing me back from my faraway thoughts. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I miss him,’ I admit softly. ‘That’s crazy, right?’

‘Not crazy. That’s normal when you break up with someone, from what I hear.’

‘I didn’t break up with him. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He’s married, remember?’ I’d told Becca nearly everything – about me living with him, us growing closer, and about being naked in the pool when his wife arrived home one afternoon. Of course Colton tried to stop me, all but tackling me in the hallway of his mansion that suddenly felt cold and foreign to me. I waited for him to try and deny it, to explain it all to me, but sadly, it was all true. Stella was his wife. He’d been married the entire time.

‘Technically. But I still think you need the rest of the story. Obviously his wife wasn’t living there. How long have they been separated?’

I shrug. ‘He hasn’t had sex in two years.’ Unless he was lying about that too. I don’t know what to believe anymore.

‘Damn, that’s quite a dry spell. And if he’s as hot as you’ve said he is…it’s not like he didn’t have offers, right?’

I was one of those offering. I blush, realizing I’d practically put my vagina on a silver platter for him and he repeatedly turned it down. It’s enough to give a girl low self-esteem.

‘Listen, it’s okay to miss him. It’s okay to feel confused.’ She reaches across the space between us and grabs my hand. Despite being six minutes younger than me, Becca has always been wise beyond her years. Her advice is thoughtful and spot on. She downs the last of her wine. ‘But we’re in frickin Rome for a once in a lifetime girls trip, so there will be no moping allowed. We’re going to have fun.’

Yay, fun. My heart feels like it’s been fed through a paper shredder. I nod and force a smile onto my face. Becca’s right. This really could be a once in a lifetime trip for me and her. Who knows what the future holds. I can’t waste time feeling sorry for myself. Of course that’s easier said than done.

I miss Colton’s bed, his scent, the feel of his rough stubble against my cheek when we kissed. I miss everything about him. Just as we’d started to grow close, everything I’d come to love was ripped away from me, leaving a gaping hole in my chest.

Forcing the thoughts of him from my mind, I throw back the rest of my wine and glance at the charming ambience of the bar around us, hoping this trip will be the distraction I need.

The next morning, the knock on our hotel room door surprises us both. Becca and I exchange a look. She shrugs while I move across the room to answer it. At least we’re both dressed.

Once the door opens, I stumble back, looking up into dark, intense eyes framed in heavy lashes that I’d recognize anywhere.

‘Colt…’ I murmur, utterly shocked to see him here in Italy.

‘Soph…’ he returns, his voice gravelly.

‘W-What are you doing here?’ I’m breathless and I don’t know why.

‘You,’ he says simply, his eyes burning on mine.

Everything I’ve tried to forget slams into me at once. His deep blue eyes that are hungry and seeking. His masculine jawline, his height, and even his scent evoke a sense of deja-vu. I remember everything in perfect detail, including the wicked pleasure he gave my body. I suppress a warm shiver.

‘Hi cupcake,’ Pace says, grinning at me from behind Colton.

What in the world? Remembering my manners, I reluctantly let my gaze wander from Colton to greet Pace and I introduce him to Becca. Utterly at a loss for what they’re both doing here, I step aside to let them in.

Becca’s wide smile as she shakes Pace’s hand reminds me of the affect meeting him for the first time can have on a girl. Her cheeks are rosy and her eyes are alight with mischief. Oh, this isn’t good.

‘And this must be the infamous Colton Drake,’ she says, locking eyes with Colton next.

Watching my sister as she appraises Colton’s perfect form from head to toe, my chest gets tight and I feel tears sting my eyes. Then my anger starts to rise, remembering his betrayal. But I’m in such a state of shock, that it takes me a moment to get my mouth working. ‘Ignore him. He’s leaving,’ I say, remembering that he and I are through.

‘Awe, don’t be like that,’ Pace says. ‘We just spent ten hours flying coach to come see you. The least you can do is invite us in, and let me flirt with your sister.’ His lopsided smile is back and I swear, I practically see Becca’s knees buckle.

‘You flew coach for me?’ I blurt without thinking.

‘It was the only option. The jet wasn’t available. I wanted the next flight out and first class was full,’ Colton explains.

I try to imagine these two men – who are each well over six-feet tall folded into cramped airplane seats for hours on end.

‘Now that’s love,’ Pace remarks under his breath.

‘This is where you’re staying?’ Colton peers around the tiny room, which takes all of three seconds.

Splurging was coming on this trip in the first place – I wouldn’t waste the precious money I had on first class airfare or a fancy hotel room. Even though Becca had responded well to the treatment so far, there was no guarantee that she’d stay healthy, or that she wouldn’t need another round in a pricey treatment facility.

‘What’s wrong with the room? Not up to your high standards?’ I remark, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

He frowns. ‘Let me upgrade you. Take you somewhere proper,’ Colton says, his dark eyes finding mine again.

How dare he? He can’t waltz in here, interrupt my vacation and then insult where I’m staying. He doesn’t control everything. The urge to push him from the room and slam the door in his face is nearly overwhelming. I pull a deep breath into my lungs, just as he reads my uneasy expression and takes a step back.

‘Never mind. As long as you’re comfortable.’ He eyes the bed linens like he’s checking for bedbugs.

Asshole.

‘I am.’ Or at least I was until he arrived out of the blue and completely threw my emotions into a tailspin.

Pace crosses the room, pulls out the small chair from the desk and plops down. His frame dwarfs everything in our tiny efficiency. He looks out of place, but in a good way. ‘I didn’t realize you had a sister. Sexy obviously runs in the family.’ He throws a wink toward Becca.

‘We’re twins,’ Becca informs him.

We always looked a bit different, and now more than ever. With Becca’s hair growing back in, it just reaches the tops of her shoulders and she wears it wavy and messy. My hair falls like a thick curtain down my back and is as straight as an arrow. She’s also about fifteen pounds thinner than me. Chemo will do that to you.

‘Mmm,’ Pace growls, his eyes wandering between us. ‘I’ve always had a secret twin fantasy.’ The hungry look in his eyes is enough to bring a woman to her knees. Becca stands zero chance against his charms.

Colton steps closer to my side, his fists tightening as he shoots an evil glare toward Pace. ‘Don’t make me kill you as soon as we’ve landed. It would really dampen the trip.’

‘Don’t make me confiscate your balls. Now go talk to your woman,’ Pace challenges.

I open my mouth to correct him. I am no one’s woman, but my brain flashes back to that fateful night when Colton purchased me from the auction. I accepted the money–and spent a good chunk of it. Does that mean I still belong to him despite finding out he’s married?

I cursed the stupid contract, I cursed the man himself for holding my heart captive. That was never part of the plan.

When I meet his eyes again, he looks lost, broken, and it tugs at something deep inside me. As much anger as I felt discovering that he’d lied to me the entire time we were together, I still have feelings for him. I can’t just turn them off. Despite his obvious shortcomings, he helped my sister, and he made me feel alive. He was everything I never knew I wanted.

‘Can we go out into the hall and talk for a minute?’ Colton asks, his voice whisper soft.

‘Hear him out, kid. Do it for me,’ Pace says, dimples out in full force, like he knows they’re impossible to refuse. The jerk.

I swallow and give an imperceptible nod before following him into the hall. He flew halfway around the world; the least I could do was listen to his explanation. Maybe it will give me some much needed closure. Maybe I can get the answers I need to move on and also figure out where we stand with respect to the large chunk of money exchanged between us. He never collected on his end of the bargain after all, I am still a virgin.

Once we’re out in the hall, Colton stands before me, looking directly into my eyes. ‘So, that’s Becca, huh?’ He tips his head toward the door.

‘Yeah.’

‘She looks good – healthy, I mean.’

I nod. ‘Yeah, the treatment worked – so far. She goes in for another round in two weeks, but with everything that’s happened, it seemed like a good time to get away – for both of us.’ She and I have never done anything like this, but it was part of my plan to start actually living.

He nods. ‘I see.’

We’re silent for several seconds and Colton’s hand twitches like he wants to touch me, but he doesn’t. Thank God.

‘And would your running away to another country have anything to do with…Stella?’

I flinch involuntarily. I hate that he’s just said her name. It immediately conjures images of that day in the pool, when my whole little world shattered. In the country of Italy, her name should not exist.

‘Will you tell me the story?’ I ask.

‘Anything you want to know.’

‘Are you getting divorced?’

‘That’s up for debate.’’

‘Then I’m leaving.’ I turn for the door, my hand gripping the knob.

‘No. Stay. Please hear me out,’ Colton pleads, prying my fingers from the door handle.

His hand on my skin sends a flash of heat through me at the memory of what those hands can do. He’s still the only man who’s made me come. I shudder as though the memory singes some part of me.

I hear a wave of girly laughter behind the door. It warms me to hear Becca enjoying herself, and it grounds me in the moment. Turning to face Colton again, I draw a deep, calming breath. ‘Do you love her?’

‘No.’ His voice is sure, steady. ‘I never loved her like I should have.’

My shoulders relax just slightly. Even if my body wants to run, and my head is screaming at me to flee, my heart has grown attached to this man. And for better or worse, part of me needs to hear him out, to understand this messy situation I’ve found myself in. Maybe if I can make sense of it, then I can move on.

‘Please let me explain, that’s all I’m asking.’ He raises his palms in a placating gesture.

I’ve never seen him look so devastated and broken. Dark circles line his eyes and he hasn’t shaved in days. Even though I’ve agreed to hear him out, a wave of nausea washes through me. Am I prepared to handle whatever he’s about to tell me? I fasten one hand against the wall for support. ‘I just need a minute…’

He releases a heavy exhale and I swear what looks like regret washes over his features. ‘I will give you all the time you need, sweetness,’ he whispers.

The nickname against his lips presses like a weight onto my chest. My heart feels heavy, thudding dully against my ribcage.

Another fit of Becca’s giggles greet us from behind the door.

‘He’s probably trying to de-pants her,’ Colton says.

‘I don’t think she’d mind much.’

‘Should we check on our siblings while we’re giving you a minute?’

I nod. We might as well. I don’t think I’m ready to hear the entire sordid tale about how the man I was falling for is married and by the sounds of it, not necessarily planning to divorce. A stiff drink might help ease some of this ache in my chest too.

Back inside the cramped hotel room, Becca and Pace are standing near the open windows, deep in conversation. I’ve never seen her look so happy and chipper. She’s openly flirting and preening like a peacock, twirling a lock of hair around her finger and smiling up at him brightly. Our vacation is about to get a lot more interesting.

Realizing we’re back in the room, Becca turns to me. ‘Soph, did you know Pace spent a semester studying here in Rome? He’s going to take me sightseeing – show me all the best spots that aren’t in those travel guides we bought.’

So much for kicking Pace and Colton out. This was supposed to be a girl’s trip, but I won’t deny Becca anything, and I can tell she’d love to spend more time in Pace’s company. It’s that damn crooked grin and dimple of his that just beg you to come out and play.

‘How did you know where I was?’ I ask Colton.

‘Kylie,’ he confirms.

I’d started working with Kylie at Colton’s charity organization a few days a week and it didn’t feel right to leave her hanging. And while I’d only intended to tell her that I would be out of town for a while, she somehow got me to spill the beans about my trip to Rome.

‘When did you get here?’ he asks.

‘Last night.’ It’s almost noon, but with the jetlag and the wine we consumed last night, Becca and I haven’t unpacked a thing. It’s actually a small miracle we’re up and showered.

‘I assume you haven’t had lunch yet. Let’s get you something to eat and I’ll explain everything.’ He turns to my sister who is for some reason squeezing Pace’s bicep while he grins adoringly down at her. ‘Pace, Becca, how about a quick bite to eat before you start your sightseeing?’

‘I’m game,’ Pace says.

‘Me too,’ Becca chimes in, grabbing her purse.

I want to sulk and stomp my feet and refuse to go, but denying myself food seems like a childish way to punish him. ‘There’s room service.’ I nod toward the menu sitting on top of the dresser.

‘No way we’re sitting inside the room all day, Soph,’ Becca encourages. ‘Come on, it’s just lunch.’

I shoot her a scowl. Traitor. I make a mental note to not be so nice to her. Like saving her some hot water for her shower this morning–that was a one-time deal. She might think she’s helping by interfering with me and Colt, but she’s not.

I gather up my belongings, my purse, sunglasses and the Euros I changed over before we left the airport, and follow the group to the elevator. This should be interesting.

Chapter Two

Sophie

The sidewalk café is beautiful and understated. Black wrought iron tables and chairs with fluffy wine-colored cushions, and ivy growing along a little trellis that separates the street from the sidewalk café complete the space. It’s sunny and clear with blue skies overhead, but not too warm, and I find it hard to hold onto my sour mood.

Colton suggests a white wine from a local vineyard and when it arrives, I’ve never tasted anything quite so light, crisp and refreshing. His impeccable taste is just one more thing that’s easy to love about him. But I can’t go there. Won’t. My body has already betrayed me by springing to life when he’s near, like when he helped me into my chair and his hand brushed against my lower back. It left my skin tingling. And when he slid out the chair across from me, his tall, commanding presence caused a little flutter in my chest. I need to keep myself in check.

His eyes roam over my exposed skin–my bare shoulders peeking from the tank top–and my chest and neck flush with heat.

I’m glad our siblings are picking up the slack when it comes to making conversation, because Colton and I remain completely silent. Small talk doesn’t seem to fit my mood and I’d have no idea what to say regardless. They chatter away without a care in the world while Colton and I exchange serious looks.

‘So how long are you guys here?’ Becca asks.

‘Depends,’ Pace says.

‘On?’ I challenge. As far as I’m concerned, Colton has made his point, showing up here in some masculine display to claim his property. He can piss off now, thank you very much.

Colton’s sad eyes slide over to mine. ‘I want a chance,’ he says, his voice dark.

A chance to explain, or a chance with me? I’m thankful for the large wraparound sunglasses that shield my eyes from his.

‘Isn’t that what she gave you all those weeks in LA?’ Becca asks, coming to my rescue.

Thank you, God. The sane and feisty sister I know and love is back. I look over at Becca, communicating my gratitude without needing to speak.

Colton watches the interaction happening between me and Becca, no doubt wondering what I’ve told her about my time in Los Angeles. I hope he knows me well enough to know I’d never divulge our secret.

‘I fucked up. It was wrong not to tell you…’ Colton’s voice is thick with emotion, unlike I’ve ever heard him before.

‘Stella is a mega-beast who…’ Pace starts.

Colton holds up one hand, silencing his brother. ‘No, Pace. This is my mess. I will fix it.’

I have no idea why, but the sudden urge to ease his pain and anguish flares up inside me. ‘I’m here aren’t I?’ I say, meeting Colton’s eyes. Of course, I’m not brave enough to remove the cover of my sunglasses, but still.

His sad look dissipates ever so slightly.

An hour later, we’re on our second bottle of wine before the waitress even thinks to bring the lunch menu. I realize that Colton’s suggestion of grabbing a quick bite to eat is quickly turning into an all afternoon affair. The pace of this country’s meal times are nothing like the US.

‘Let’s order some lunch, shall we?’ Pace, asks, handing me a menu printed entirely in Italian.

Our food is finally delivered, and while we eat Becca opens up about her treatment. I can’t help but notice Colton leans forward on his elbows to absorb every word. He knows the hefty price tag for the treatment was made possible by his generous winning bid. And maybe it’s the charitable side to him, but I can see in his reverent expression that something inside of him feels proud to have helped.

When Becca probes Colton about his work, he makes some offhand remark about investment banking and then launches into a detailed discussion about his charity foundation. They’re close to fulfilling their mission in Africa. The new school he’s built will have their grand opening soon.

Becca is in awe listening to him – clearly he’s a great catch who just got even better in her eyes.

‘Sophie’s work is missed. She was a big help those weeks spent getting Kylie caught up.’ He reaches for my hand and I move it under the table.

Though the conversation buzzes around me, I can barely keep up. My head is filled with questions about Colton’s marriage to a woman he admittedly doesn’t love. Why did he marry her? Where has she been while I’ve been sleeping in their bed? My entire relationship with him now feels tainted.

Despite our precarious start to things, I’d started to believe that he’d been brought into my life for a reason. Sent to me like a guardian angel to heal Becca and awaken me sexually. I’d spent two months living with him, growing close, falling for him.

I wonder now more than ever about why he never slept with me. Was it because he didn’t want to be unfaithful to his wife?

‘Sophie?’ Colton’s voice cuts through the one in my head. ‘More wine?’

I shake my head. ‘I’d rather just get going back to the hotel.’

He checks his watch and frowns. ‘Okay. That should be all right.’

We finish our lunch of insalata, warm bread, white wine and several bottles of sparkling water. After Colton pays for the meal, Pace and Becca rise from the table, looking slightly tipsy and eager to set off on their exploration.

Colton and I walk side by side in silence all the way back to the hotel. But there are so many new sights, sounds and smells to take in, that I hardly notice the stiff uncomfortable silence that’s settled between us. Just navigating the uneven cobblestone streets in my strappy sandals takes extra concentration.

When we reach the hotel, Colt opens the door and ushers me through, his warm palm once again settling against my spine and leaving a rush of tingles in its wake.

A young man dressed in a hotel uniform stops us in the lobby.

‘A new key for you, Miss.’ His Italian accent caresses the words, making them sound much sexier than they are.

‘I have a key.’ I hold it up.

‘Yes, but for your new suite. Floor seventeen.’ He folds the key card in my hand while simultaneously removing the old one.

I recall Colton stopping to talk in hushed voices with the concierge before we left the hotel. Is this his doing?

He raises an eyebrow and shrugs. ‘I just wanted you to be comfortable.’

I bite my tongue to avoid pointing out that I’d been more comfortable before he appeared and started interfering, but deep down inside, I know he’s just trying to be nice, as annoying as it might be. He can’t win me back with thoughtful gestures and sweet remarks. Call me crazy, but I have a rule about dating man who are married: I don’t.

‘You shouldn’t have,’ I bite out and turn for the elevator, punching the button repeatedly with my thumb. I notice Colton waiting beside me and I give him a pointed stare. ‘I guess you can wait in the lobby for Becca and Pace’s sightseeing date to end.’

‘You promised me we could talk,’ he says, his tone making clear his displeasure.

Yes, but that was before the wine and the possessive stares he treated me to all during lunch. I don’t trust myself alone in a room with him right now. ‘I don’t think being alone in a hotel room with a married man is proper.’

He releases a low growl of frustration just as the elevator doors open and drags me inside.

Warning bells are going off inside my head. I’m about to be alone with a man who still holds power over my heart despite his unavailable relationship status.

Be strong, Sophie.

Colton

Pinning Sophie to the wall of the elevator, my hands clench into fists above her head. It’s taking every ounce of self-control I have not to push my hips into hers and claim her mouth. I know I’ve lost the right, but my body refuses to understand that.

I can see her pulse thrumming in her neck as I bend down near her ear. ‘Don’t push me right now. My emotions are all over the fucking place – something very new for me, I can assure you.’

She shoves both hands against my chest, pushing me back several paces. ‘Oh, your emotions are all over the place? Try putting yourself in my shoes.’ Her voice rises frantically. ‘I was buck-naked in your goddamn pool trying to seduce you when your wife showed up.’ The word wife is spat from her mouth like a sour bomb.

‘You ran out on me before I had the chance to explain. You wouldn’t answer my calls and now I’ve flown six thousand miles just to set the record straight with you.’ I take a deep breath and straighten my posture. Arguing with her won’t get me anywhere. Of course she has a right to be mad. ‘Listen, Soph. I needed to see you. I’m coming upstairs to talk to you.’

After an intense standoff her gaze falls to the floor as she realizes further negotiation will be pointless. ‘What floor am I on?’

‘Top floor,’ I answer. The best suite they have. Obviously.

Realizing we’re just standing in the stationary elevator that hasn’t yet moved from the ground level, she gingerly reaches out and presses the button. My mouth lifts up in a smile. Progress.

Per my instructions, Sophie and Becca’s luggage has been moved into the suite. There’s a moderately sized living room, two separate bedrooms, each with its own washroom and a tiny balcony overlooking the courtyard fountain. She takes a minute to navigate the rooms, lightly running her fingers along a gilded antique credenza and bending at the waist to smell the fresh arrangement of white blossoms on the coffee table.

I take every second I can to just drink her in. Even though it’s only been three days since I’ve seen her, held her in my arms, slept with her warm body next to me, it feels like much longer. The privilege to touch her has been ripped away, and my body riots in silent agony, my heart aching and my fists clenching uselessly at my sides. I fucking hate this.

We need to talk like civilized adults, but fuck if I know how to start.

‘Soph…’ I begin.

‘Colt…’ She says at the same time.

We share an awkward smile.

‘Come sit down.’ I gesture to the sofa – neutral territory and she obeys, slipping off her sandals and curling her legs underneath her as she sinks into the cushion farthest away from me.

‘Ask me anything you want to know. No more secrets,’ I promise.

Bouncing one knee up and down, she twists the ring on her thumb. ‘How long have you been married?’

I release a heavy sigh and push my fingers into my hair. Much longer than I want to admit.

‘If you try to hide things…if you’re going to be evasive…’ She swallows.

‘Anything you want to know. Even if the truth is hard to hear,’ I confirm. As much as I’d like to protect her from the ugly truth, I won’t. Not if that’s not what she wants. ‘I’ve been married for four years. For the past two we haven’t lived in the same state.’

‘Why was she at your house that day?’

‘Who the fuck knows with her. We’ve been trying to settle our divorce for a long time. But neither of us can seem to agree on anything.’

She licks her lips, thinking over this information. ‘Is she the reason you went to New York?’

‘Yes, Stella lives in New York with her boyfriend. I went there to try and talk to her about the terms of our divorce in person. That didn’t work.’

Her forehead creases. ‘She has a boyfriend?’

I nod. ‘Our former gardener. I found out they started fucking after we got married.’

Her mouth tugs down in a frown. ‘Oh.’

‘It turns out that she never loved me, and even though my family warned me about her motives, I couldn’t see it. I wanted a woman in my life, and I don’t know…’ I rub my temples absently. ‘Maybe it had to do with losing my mother at such a young age… But I liked the company, the companionship of someone by my side. Someone warm and loving to share my life with.’ I sound like a complete pussy, but that was how the twenty-four year old me saw the world.

And Stella was the perfect trophy wife, accompanying me to work functions, dressing in the latest fashions and always a happy smile on her lips. Too bad it had all been fake.

‘What happened?’ Sophie asks, her tone softening.

‘Things changed as soon as we got engaged. I thought it was just stress over planning the wedding–she wanted it to be the affair of the decade, something the Los Angeles elite would be buzzing about for years to come–she put way too much pressure on herself planning it. I didn’t see at the time that it was all for show. It was more about the dress and the party and French champagne than it was about me and her.’

Sophie chews on her lip, listening intently. I have no fucking clue why I’m unloading all this…but something tells me if I have any hope at salvaging things between us, I need to bare my soul.

I clear my throat and continue. ‘And even though my brothers tried to talk me out of it, I had convinced myself that it was all going to be fine. I wasn’t going to call off my wedding simply because my fiancé was turning into a bridezilla. I figured it would all settle down after the wedding day.’

‘But it didn’t?’ Sophie asks softly.

‘No. She was distant, and cold. Not at all like the smiling, charming girl I fell for in the first place. Once the rock was on her finger and the ink on the marriage license was dry, she turned into a completely different person. The one I suspected she’d actually been all along. She’d played me. Married me for my money and I’d fallen for it like a lovesick fool.’

‘I’m sorry, Colt…’ she starts.

‘No, don’t.’ She shouldn’t be the one apologizing to me. The headache I’d felt coming on earlier was full-on throbbing in my temples. I continued, ‘After the game Stella pulled on me, it made it hard to even think about trusting another woman. Being separated for the past two years, I tried dating causally. I didn’t want to, but my brothers occasionally set me up with a woman. Behind every sweet smile and every flirty look was someone only interested in my bank roll and the lifestyle I could provide. I wanted a genuine connection, not a trophy wife. But I realized with my status and my wealth, real love wasn’t going to be something easy to find.’

‘Then why go to that auction?’ Her confusion is etched between her eyebrows as she waits for me to answer.

‘To put it bluntly?’ I smirk.

She nods for me to go ahead.

‘A man has his limits. The pent up sexual frustration of being celibate for two years…I was horny as fuck and needed to get laid.’

Her mouth twitches in a smile.

‘That’s the complete truth. I knew exactly what I was paying for and that there’d be no chance of feelings or false promises.’

‘Why not just hire an escort?’

I shrug. The thought had crossed my mind a few times. ‘I guess I’m not the kind of guy to hire an escort. I wanted something more discreet. I couldn’t have that information getting leaked. CEOs who get caught hiring prostitutes usually end up on the evening news.’

She nodded in silent understanding.

‘With the auction, I liked the medical testing, non-disclosure agreements and confidentiality promised to me. Plus the companionship angle we covered before.’

‘But you never…we never…’ She pauses.

‘I never fucked you,’ I finish for her.

She lifts her chin in indignation. ‘Why not? Is it because you would have felt like you were cheating on her?’ she asks, her big blue eyes locked onto mine.

I reach for her hand, pulling it into my lap, unable to resist the physical warmth it provides. ‘No. It’s because I would have felt like I was cheating on you. You deserved more and I knew it.’

Her bottom lip trembles and the urge to suck it into my mouth flares up inside me.

Pulling her hand away, Sophie rises to her feet. ‘You can’t say things like that.’ There’s anger in her eyes and I’m left speechless. I can’t even begin to imagine all the thoughts and emotions running through her head. So I won’t try. She moves to the window and looks out solemnly.

Rising to my feet, I stand behind her, resisting the urge to pull her close. ‘I can’t lose you,’ I whisper. ‘Not when I feel like my life is finally falling into place. You were the missing piece. You were the cheese to my macaroni.’ I smile lightly, hoping she remembers.

She turns to face me. Her soft gaze is pinned on mine and I can tell we’re both remembering the time we spent together. It just felt right. ‘I can’t do this, Colton. I was developing real feelings for you.’

Was? I know I’m falling for her, terrifying as it fucking is. I shake the thought away, once again trying to convince myself that my interest in her is only about seeing the arrangement through.

‘You’re married,’ she reminds me.

Tramping down my emotions, I swallow. ‘Only legally. And if I can just get her to agree to the terms, I’ll sign off on the divorce…’

‘Wait. You’re the one holding up the divorce?’ Anger flashes in Sophie’s normally calm blue eyes. The change in her is unmistakable. It’s like I’ve inadvertently tripped some wire and a bomb is about to detonate. I take a hesitant step back.

‘Yes.’

‘But…I don’t understand…’

Fuck. How do I explain this without further upsetting her?

‘If I divorce her, she wins. She’ll take half of everything, plus I’ll be ordered to pay her spousal support.’ It’s not about the money – well, I guess it is, because splitting up my millions will put my investment into the Africa project at risk. It means I’ll have fallen for her game, hook, line and sinker. Stella one, Colt zero. But worse than that, the funding for the school, hospital and all the projects I had planned would be stopped dead in their tracks as my money is tied up in a legal battle. I won’t let my personal fuckup be the cause of so much destruction. I’m funneling every bit of money I have into this charity and I won’t sacrifice a single dollar to keep Stella in Manolo Blahniks while children go hungry. Fuck no.

‘You…’ Her eyes widen and then slam closed. ‘You didn’t have a pre-nup, and now your male pride is too damn stubborn to take the hit financially.’ She blinks up at me and something twists deep inside my gut.

She’s right about the pre-nup, I was a fucking fool. Twenty-four years old when we tied the knot and thought I was in love. But she’s wrong about the rest. ‘This has nothing to do with male pride. My goal all along has been to wait her out, and complete my project in Africa before finalizing the divorce. I won’t have my money tied up in some court battle while I could be doing something actually fucking useful with it.’

Sophie’s judging stare and her rigid posture force me to see that maybe this isn’t all going to end well. After surviving Stella, I need a woman who understands my drive and desire to see some good in the world. I thought Sophie would be that woman. But perhaps I was wrong. I take a calming breath and struggle to clear my head.

Sophie moves across the room, her posture stiff as she goes to the far window that looks onto the courtyard below. I cross the room in a few long strides and stand behind her, breathing in the scent of her hair. ‘Soph…’ I murmur.

Her shoulders relax and she sniffs like she’s crying.

Spinning her to face me, I see that her face is red and a single tear tumbles along her porcelain cheek.

‘Don’t cry.’ I brush the dampness away with my thumb. ‘You’re all I want. The rest, Stella, the paperwork, I’ll figure it out. I just need time. And I need your faith in me.’ I don’t know why that’s suddenly so important, but it is. Her eyes drift closed and she doesn’t protest. It’s a start.

I’ve never groveled like this before, but I’ve also never felt quite as strongly about a woman as I do about Sophie. Unable to resist the urge to touch her, I run my fingertips along her exposed arms, lightly caressing her smooth skin.

Sophie swallows and blinks up at me. Leaning down to lower my mouth to hers, I whisper against her lips. ‘You’re mine, sweetness.’

My cock was half hard all through lunch, but now that we’re alone, the beast is demanding attention. I’ve traveled thousands of miles to get her to listen, and now the last thing I want to do is talk. I’m craving her like a drug.

Her mouth parts and I take the opportunity to gently kiss her full bottom lip, and then the top, carefully peppering her sweet mouth with tender kisses.

Her hands fist in my shirt and for just a moment I think she’s going to push me away, but she tugs me closer and my kisses go from chaste to hot in two seconds flat. The knowledge that I haven’t lost her sends a thrill racing through me.

My tongue pushes past her parted lips and caresses hers. Goddamn, I’ve missed the things this mouth can do. The raging erection in my pants remembers all too well.

The need to taste her, to consume every part of her flares within me. And knowing that there’s a bed in the next room sends my mind spinning with possibilities. I want more. I want it all, everything she has to offer, but I force myself to slow and meet her eyes, checking for any sign of displeasure. Her look is pure wanton lust.

My hand slips under the hem of the skirt she’s wearing. If she knew my dark thoughts right now, she wouldn’t have worn this in my presence. But she seems blissfully unaware that I want to fuck her hard and fast until she’s sore and bowlegged from my cock repeatedly impaling her.

The man she’s come to know exercises restraint and control at every turn, but that man is nowhere to be found. Unable to hold back from touching her, I slide my hand up the outside of her thigh and feel her tremble, but she doesn’t pull away. She doesn’t move a single muscle.

Curving my hand around, I palm one rounded ass cheek that’s soft and warm in my hand and knead the succulent flesh. She drives me fucking crazy with desire. I want her ass. I want every part of her.

Feeling bold, I slip one finger under the elastic of her panties and feel her draw a shuddering breath. That’s right baby. Let me touch you.

‘You want this, don’t you?’ I whisper against her collarbone.

She shakes her head.

‘Don’t lie to me, sweetness.’

I caress a finger along her silken folds. She’s already damp with desire. I drag my finger up her slit, parting her lips and find her clit. Using the pad of my index finger, I circle the little bundle of nerves and feel it swell. Hell yeah. Remembering the first time I got her off, my cock engorges with blood until it’s rock hard and almost painful.

Sophie’s hands ball into fists at her sides, and she looks like she’s struggling with something. Her brow is knotted and her breathing is erratic, but she’s not moving away, in fact she’s leaning in to my touch, tilting her hips so I can rub her clit at just the right angle. I realize she’s having some internal battle with herself. Her body wants this, but her head is telling her no. And my guess is that her hands are clenched tight to stop herself from reaching out and touching me. Surely she can feel my raging erection pressing into her hip.

It’s okay, you can touch him, baby.

Please fucking touch him.

I want to feel her little fist curl around my shaft and squeeze. I feel like I’m going to die if she doesn’t touch me soon. I’m two seconds away from pulling my cock out myself and stroking it until I come.

Just as Sophie begins to whimper softly and I can tell she’s building toward release, she takes a step back just out of reach so that my hand slides from her panties. Her eyes are hungry and swimming with unspoken emotion.

Shit.

Chapter Three

Sophie

Colton’s gaze skims over my features, like he’s checking to be sure I’m okay before settling on my eyes again. Nothing about this is okay, but I’m powerless to stop it. I’m scared of feeling too much for him, and I’m scared of letting him go, so I do the only thing I can – I turn myself over to the visceral pleasure coursing through me, begging for a sweet release. My body is practically vibrating with need, but I need a moment to process what’s happening, so I take a step back.

‘Don’t run away from this,’ he purrs.

Stalking closer, Colt anchors his hands to my waist, his long fingers biting into my hips as he lifts me up. My legs close around his waist, my core seeking friction against the hard ridge in the front of his pants.

I gasp at the crazy mix of emotions and raw sensation overtaking my system. I know I should stop him, push him away, I just don’t want to. I miss this side of him. Suddenly I want to be on my knees before him with his hot, heavy cock in my mouth. Memories of our weeks spent together flood my senses, making it impossible to turn away.

‘Colt…’ I whisper. I have no idea what I’m asking for and his soft eyes plead with mine.

He supports my weight effortlessly with both hands resting under my butt. I want his fingers again…I was so close. And now I’m keyed up and confused.

‘I’m tangled up in you. I can’t let you go,’ he says, placing one more kiss against my mouth. He stares back at me for a moment. I can’t take the broken quality to his voice, the way his warm palm slides against my exposed hip bone. Even though I shouldn’t, I crave his touch. I’ve missed him. I’ve missed this. This growing connection between us. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to give in to him.

Before everything went to hell the afternoon his wife showed up, I felt like we were building toward something real – if not love, then something close. I wasn’t experienced, but given the chance, I knew I could fall in love with Colton Drake. Which meant letting him into my hotel room, letting him kiss me and gaze into my eyes and break down all my walls was a dangerous move. My heart was on the line. But he’d tracked me down and chased me halfway around the world. That has to mean something, right?

‘Sweetness,’ he murmurs in the husky tone that I’ve come to recognize means he’s aroused.

My voice disappears as any words of protest die in my throat. I have to tell him no. I need to make him leave. He’s done something that can’t be undone. He led me to believe he was unattached and concealed the truth from me for weeks. I now wonder if he would have ever told me if Stella hadn’t shown up. Despite my suspicions, I’d ignored my womanly instincts and turned myself over to him completely. I’d been ready to give him my virginity.

His fingertips edging under my skirt pull me from my thoughts. My core heats with the knowledge that his skilled fingers are just inches from where I want them. Yes, yes yes. My panties are soaking wet and I rock against him, but my raspy voice breaks the silence and contradicts everything my body is screaming for. ‘No…I can’t…’ I untangle my legs from his waist and drop to the floor.

‘You want this just as badly as I do,’ he says, his voice deep and sure.

My eyes lift to his and apparently they tell him everything he needs to know. My desire for him is written all over my face. My thoughts betray me. And Colton takes full advantage, leaning in to kiss me again.

‘Tell me there’s still a chance,’ he whispers against my lips.

I swallow, but am unable to respond. I don’t trust myself to say the right thing. I debate with myself, wondering if I could ever trust him again, if I could even fit into his lifestyle…

A bubble of feminine laughter and the sound of the door clicking open snap me back to my senses.

Becca and Pace waltz into the room carrying a half dozen shopping bags between them.

My sanity returns and I force a serious tone as I turn toward Colton. ‘It’s time for you guys to go.’

Goodbyes are exchanged between Pace and Becca while I avoid meeting Colton’s dark eyes. I know if I do, I’ll lose my resolve completely. I’m still reeling from that kiss, my body overheated and blood pumping wildly.

He pins me with a heated stare, leaning close enough that I can smell his cologne. The effect is dizzying. ‘This isn’t over. Have your fun with Becca and we’ll talk when you get home.’

I wish I could tell him he’s wrong, that we are over, but I find myself unable to respond. He’s giving me the space I need right now, but I have no idea what comes next.

Once they’re gone, I grab a bottle of water from the stocked minibar and take a long swig, needing to cool myself down before turning to Becca. She doesn’t say anything about the change in hotel room, but I see her eyes wandering around the space. ‘So what happened with Pace? I didn’t think you guys would be back so quickly. In fact, I wondered if I’d see you again this entire trip. I figured you’d take one look at those dimples and you’d steal him away into a private hotel room.’ I grin at her in an attempt to lighten the tense mood.

‘Trust me, it was tempting. He’s gorgeous. And his tight little butt?’ She fans herself dramatically. ‘Seriously, those two are a lethal combination on the libido.’

‘There’s a third one too. Their older brother Collins is every bit as lickable.’

‘Damn. Good genetics, I guess.’ She dumps the shopping bags out onto the sofa for me to inspect her goods. ‘After lunch, I actually started to worry about leaving you alone with Colt. I figured that wasn’t the smartest idea, so we cut our outing short. We just walked around this cute little piazza and I went into a couple of boutiques.’ She holds a tiny sundress up to my frame. ‘I thought this would look cute on you.’

‘It’s pretty.’ Lavender and touches of blue thread run through the soft fabric. ‘I can wear it with my strappy silver sandals.’

‘Exactly what I was thinking.’ She plucks a red mini skirt from the pile of clothes for herself. ‘Come on, get changed. We’re going out.’

Becca and I spent the rest of the day sightseeing and are currently seated at a quaint little bar, munching on olives and cheese and sipping delicious wine. I still can’t believe Colton and Pace had actually flown to Italy in search of me. And as I sit here, slightly buzzed, I’m replaying our brief intimate encounter in my head.

‘I know how you could get rid of it,’ Becca says, thoughtfully swirling the wine in her glass.

‘What?’

‘Your virginity. I mean, if you still want to, that is.’

‘How?’ I ask, my mind spinning.

She tips her chin to a group of three cute Italian guys sitting together across the bar. ‘We could go pick up some hotties.’

I briefly consider this. When in Rome…Why the hell not?

Because I still belong to Colton, that’s why.

Even if I don’t want to, some strange part of me knows it’s true. He should be the one to take my virginity. When I think about his dark, hungry eyes that burn me up, his full mouth kissing my neck, and his thick, long cock, I know it has to be him. My chest flushes with heat and I’m transported right back to the moment earlier when I was right there – right on the edge –just a few more strokes of his fingers and I would have come apart. I always thought I needed a sex toy to get off, it turns out I just needed Colton.

‘You’re thinking about him again.’ Becca smirks at me.

‘I shouldn’t be.’

‘But you are.’

The remainder of our trip is nearly perfect. Gorgeous summer weather, long afternoons spent wandering the beautiful and seductive city of Rome with my best friend by my side. But my nights are plagued with memories of Colton, though I suppose that’s unavoidable given the situation.

After the first day when he and his brother Pace showed up here unexpectedly, I’ve heard nothing more from him. I’m grateful that I opted not to upgrade my cell phone service to include international calling. I know I wouldn’t be strong enough to continue ignoring him if that were the case. As it is, every morning after breakfast, I have to force myself to walk past the hotel’s one computer in the business center to avoid connecting to my email. The thought that there could be a note from Colton waiting for me weighs heavily on my mind.

As much as I try to convince myself that things are done between us, some part deep inside of me knows that’s not true.

Chapter Four

Colton

Back in California, I throw myself into my work. It’s the only way to keep my thoughts from drifting to Sophie. I’m brutal in meetings, coarse in my communications and tense all the fucking time. My emotions are all over the damn place and my need for sex has only quadrupled since being near Sophie again. My feelings of longing are only intensified wandering my big, empty house alone at night.

I’ve tried texting her a couple of times, but I’ve gotten no response. She returned from Rome last weekend and has been in touch with Kylie, which is the only reason I know anything.

I should feel relieved. Sophie knows the truth now. Everything is out in the open. There’s no more hiding my broken marriage from her and no one would ever need to know my dark secret about purchasing a sex slave. This whole thing could be over – we’re free from our arrangement. Only I don’t want to be.

I should just walk away, but I won’t. I still want to fuck her. Shit, it goes deeper than that if I’m being honest with myself. I like her. Her genuine nature, her selflessness for putting herself up for auction. She’s not like other girls. She made me macaroni for fuck’s sake, and refused my help for additional money. She’s not like the women in my past. Or she’s damn good at faking it.

Either way, I want to make her mine. I tell myself it’s just because I never got to have her. Weeks spent waiting while the sexual tension and anticipation between us built to epic proportions have left me with the world’s most critical case of blue balls. Terror alert level red. My sac is about to combust. Shit, at this point, I wonder if I even remember how to fuck. It can’t be that difficult, right? I shake away the sullen thoughts swirling in my brain.

I want to claim her body, to be the first man to penetrate her pussy. And as much as I try to deny it, something inside me wants more than that too. But the entire point of this whole charade was because I promised myself I wouldn’t get entangled with a woman ever again. So much for that not happening. I’m in deep with Sophie. Completely wrapped up in a woman I may have zero chance of having. But I’m not backing down now. No fucking way.

I’d bought and paid for her virginity, something I was not inclined to let simply slip through my fingers due to some technicality.

When I think back to her hotel room in Italy, the way she let me touch her…before completely shutting down on me, my stomach twists into a knot.

I’m not used to being turned down, and it’s not a feeling I want to grow accustomed to. I didn’t get where I am today by lying dormant. Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I call Sophie once more, giving her one last chance before I show up on her parent’s doorstep and drag her back to me.

I may have trust issues, and I still need to deal with Stella, but none of that is going to stop me from taking what’s mine. And Sophie is mine.

Expecting her voicemail, like every other time I’ve called, I’m surprised when she answers on the fourth ring.

‘Sophie?’ The surprise is evident in my voice.

‘Hi,’ she says casually.

‘We need to talk.’ She’s silent for several long moments, only the soft sounds of her breathing tell me she’s still on the line.

‘About what?’ she asks finally.

‘I have a new proposition for you.’

When the limousine I’ve sent drops Sophie off in my driveway, looking bewildered and tired, I’m thankful that her parents live a few hours north of Los Angeles. It means I should be able to keep her here at least through the night. She will have to hear me out.

Stepping out into the sunlight, I greet her beside the car. My fists clench uselessly at my sides as the realization that she’s not mine to take into my arms slams against me. I lift her bag from the brick walkway and force a smile onto my lips. ‘Thank you for coming.’

She nods. ‘Thank you for sending the limo. That really wasn’t necessary.’ She twists the ring on her thumb, obviously curious about why I’ve summoned her here when things seem like they’re over between us.

‘Let’s go inside.’

I let her walk ahead, appreciating the way her round little behind sways enticingly. I follow like a puppy on a leash.

Once inside, Sophie is all tentative steps and unsure glances. Deciding it’ll be best to cut to the chase about why I’ve brought her here, I lead her into the den. The same room where I brought her that first night. Memories of her on her knees before me, taking my thick cock into her mouth and sucking me off with such skill and enthusiasm causes my dick to harden instantly. Fuck.

I take a breath and clear my throat, hoping that her eyes don’t wander to the front of my trousers. ‘Have a seat.’

Sophie complies, sitting carefully at the edge of the sofa. I wonder if the memories of that first night are burned into her brain as thoroughly as they are into mine. Despite my efforts, I’m unable to get the visual of her full pink mouth wrapped around the head of my cock out of my mind. The way her tongue teased down the length of my shaft and her hand curled around my base, stroking as she sucked me deep into her throat.

My needy erection zaps all my concentration and it takes me a moment to realize Sophie is speaking.

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