Life after Life

Now Maggie has been given the chance of her after-life to become a Guard, nothing will stand in her way. Not even the undeniable attraction she feels for her trainer and past love—Jackson. But when the battle between Shadowed and Guard begins again which side will she choose?

When her boss, Felix, partners Jackson and Maggie up with Ally and Cooper to investigate terrifying Shadowed activity, she doesn’t think it could get any worse. Jackson and Cooper barely tolerate each other and this time, Maggie isn’t just proving her loyalty to the Guard during one mission…she has a side mission too. One so secret and so dangerous she can’t tell a soul…

Praise for KATLYN DUNCAN

‘Katlyn Duncan’s YA debut, Soul Taken, is a thrilling ride that will leave you breathless for the next page, and curious to find the true soul we nurture within.’ Jennifer Murgia, Author of the Angel Star series and Between These Lines

‘Wow! Talk about a completely unique concept with tons of new ideas, roles, and characters that took me on an exhilarating adventure.’ 4.5 stars from I ♥ Bookie Nookie Reviews

‘I really loved this book. From the first page I was totally hooked and couldn’t put it down until I was finished.’ Dark Faerie Tales

‘Soul Taken is a BRILLIANT read!…This is one of those books to look out for.’ 5 stars from A Diary of a Book Addict

‘It is a quick read and leaves you excited for the next installment of the series…Can’t wait to read more from this debut author!’ 5 stars from Allie Kacmar*

‘I loved the book, such a fast read. I felt like I knew each character personally…Then mix in the excitement of the souls being taken, it really makes you think.’ 5 stars from Joanne*

‘Soul Taken is a tasty morsel indeed.’ 5 stars from Nicky Peacock*

*Reader reviews

Also by Katlyn Duncan

Soul Taken

Soul Possessed

Katlyn Duncan

Copyright

HQ

An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

First published in Great Britain by HQ in 2013

Copyright © Katlyn Duncan 2013

Katlyn Duncan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

E-book Edition © October 2013 ISBN: 9781472044556

Version date: 2018-10-30

Katlyn Duncan

has been reading and writing since before she can remember; her earliest memories involve dragging her mom to the store to get the latest Goosebumps book. She earned two science degrees and currently works in the medical field. She spends her free time writing, reading, and renovating her Victorian “fixer upper” in southern New England with her husband.

To Mr. Foley. Thank you for showing me that reading is an escape.

Contents

Cover

Blurb

Praise

Book List

Title Page

Copyright

Author Bio

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Endpages

About the Publisher

Chapter One

It wasn’t the first time I went back there. Back to the night I destroyed the soul of my grandson, David. Part of the family I didn’t remember. The visions used to be more frequent and, I suppose, I had to be thankful for that. Jackson was always there to wake me up.

And like every other time, I fell into the vision not remembering how I got there. The sharp rock walls closed in around me as the insatiable need to feed awoke, twisting its silky fingers around every fiber of my soul.

Then, I saw the man that brought me there.

David.

His name brought forth a barrage of images and new memories, ones I’d experienced through his daughter after he trapped me in her body. He had taken Ally’s soul knowing that because of our familial link her body would accept mine in her absence. He wanted my power to be awakened on her eighteenth birthday through her transformation, and as much as I had tried to stop it, my power had been awoken after he insisted on hurting the only friends I had.

I looked down at my hand. The orange essence rolled off my fingers in waves, reaching toward him. His soul touched the essence and his body stiffened. His terror surged through me, his grin unmoving as if he wanted me to take him. And it didn’t argue. I didn’t argue. The essence lurched forward, finding the connection to his soul. The insurmountable power within him tasted divine as if my very existence was for this purpose.

I leaned forward, closing my hands, pulling more of his soul into me. His bright green eyes dimmed and his ashen face went slack as I withdrew the last of his soul from his body. Even when there was nothing left to take, I kept my hands close to his body. David’s form fell limp across the cave floor and didn’t stir. My essence burned bright, breaking the bond between his body and mine. Heat flowed through me, and with it more strength than I had ever felt in a hundred years. Even though I couldn’t imagine feeling stronger, the essence sought out its next meal.

Something moved behind me. I sensed the soul and, with the promise of more, the essence pulsed with excitement.

The soul neared, its hand dropping on my shoulder. Its life force called to me. I leaned in to the touch. That was the more I’d been looking for. Suddenly, an unexpected weight in my hand grabbed my attention. My hands tightened around the hilt of a broadsword. I lifted it slightly; the lightness of the weapon surprised me. That could be useful in subduing my new target. Something tugged at my memory but the essence was overwhelming, begging my soul to turn around and feed. I whirled around, brandishing the sword between us.

My assailant held a similar weapon, but he kept it pointed at the ground. The essence hesitated and so did I. Why wasn’t he fighting back? I raised my sword. He may have been significantly taller, but I had the advantage of David’s strength inside of me.

“Mags.” His gravely voice struck me as a hint of a memory bubbled to the surface at the nickname.

I narrowed my eyes, trying to place him. My essence didn’t budge but it waited there on the surface, hesitating. I lifted my gaze to his light blue eyes, almost hidden behind the dark tresses unevenly masking his eyebrows and the tips of his ears.

He moved his arms to the side. “Put down the sword.”

The rock face shimmered around us, but I blinked until it stopped moving. I lifted my sword to him and my essence surged forward, weaving around my sword toward the dark-haired boy. His eyes widened, but he didn’t fight back. I tested him by flicking my hand to the side, almost nicking his black shirt with the blade.

He jumped back, “Snap out of it.”

David’s soul-strength rolled around inside me, urging me forward. I brought down my sword, but he blocked it. I tried again, but he blocked me. Over and over we did this, my essence getting closer to him with each strike.

Grinning, I accessed the power within me and leapt forward, bringing my sword down closer to him this time. He moved back, but I anticipated his reaction and continued to invade his space, not giving him an advantage for one second. As much as I wanted his soul he wasn’t interested in hurting me, only blocking me. Frustration turned to annoyance until I shifted my position, backing him against the stone wall with enough strength to startle him. His sword dropped to the ground leaving his chest wide open. If I could touch him, I’d be able to take him.

I paused too long and before I knew it he side-stepped me and went for his sword.

“You aren’t in the caves, Mags!”

Don’t lose focus.

I flicked my wrist and brought the tip of my sword close to him. He leapt back and this time he purposefully dropped the sword, putting his hands out in front of him.

“Look at me!”

I did. His blazing blue eyes were pleading. The air around him shifted. I blinked again, but this time the walls continued to move and shift. The rock crumbled around us and started to shimmer like the afternoon sun over the ocean. I lost focus and succumbed to the cave crashing down around us. I looked down at my hands, dropping my weapon. The essence pulsed and disappeared just as the rock did.

My new surroundings were of a water’s edge. Small waves lazily lapped against the shore. In the distance, the sun had almost set behind a plush mountain ridge. Every shade of purple cascading across a cloudless sky.

I was in the After. Jackson was right. I’d been inside of another vision.

I stepped back from Jackson, realizing that I could have hurt him. I shoved my hands into my pockets and closed my eyes, trying to calm my jittering soul.

“Hey.” Jackson’s voice was closer than I wanted.

I stumbled backwards raising my fists to stop him. “Wait.”

Bolting to the shore, I knelt down, my black pants soaking up the water, but I didn’t care. I looked down at my reflection expecting to see a power-hungry monster, the one that I felt like each time the visions of that night manifested in my mind. But all I saw was the same soul I’d seen for the past hundred years. The only difference was the black Guard uniform instead of the white Collector one.

I blinked a few times before I was convinced that my surroundings were real. The After had been my home for the past hundred years, but only recently I’d been able to experience my breathtaking environment. Even though I had no use for breathing, I inhaled, taking in the fresh and slightly sweet scent. I dug my hands into the soft sand, rooting me. Calming me.

Jackson appeared next to me. I looked up at him through my reflection.

“I think we’re making progress.”

I turned around. He had one hand open at his side, but the other held my sword. He wiggled his fingers and I took it. Then he wrapped his long fingers around mine and lifted me to his side, holding me there until the tightness in my chest unfurled to a numbness that slowly pooled in my middle.

I loosened my grip and reached for my sword, pretending to ignore his hurt expression. It was the one I’d seen a few times a day since we started training together over two months ago. In the time I’d known him, I’d seen a few of Jackson’s memories through his eyes, and a strange molding of my and his recollection of the night I’d murdered Gemma and Tristan, my sister and husband. The night I died.

Guilt rushed through me every time, but it was my choice not to have my memories back. Not his. I’d attempted to reintroduce myself to him but he was at an unfair advantage, knowing me better than I knew myself.

Without the vision in the forefront of my mind I focused on my weapon. It fit my hand perfectly, because it had been made for me. It wasn’t a human’s traditional broadsword, heavy and bulky; it was made in the After, with a piece of my True Soul embedded in it. I slid it into the baldric strapped to my back.

Looking up, I remembered Jackson had spoken to me and I attempted to cover my thoughts. “How so? That time I nearly had you.”

He grinned. “But you haven’t had an episode for two weeks now. That’s progress.”

I looked across the water, not meeting his gaze. He was right, but I’d prefer not to have any at all.

“Do you want to take a break?”

I shook my head. “The Shadowed don’t take breaks.” He’d said that to me in the beginning when the training had been a challenge after a century of Collecting. His words flowing from my mouth surprised us both.

Jackson looked over his shoulder. “I don’t see any Shadowed here.” He reached out to take my hand, but quickly pulled it back, nodding his head instead to his left. “Come on.”

I didn’t need to ask where we were going. Felix required downtime for all After workers, Soul Collectors included, but Jackson always took a break in training after a vision. I’d always been fond of the Living Realm for my time off when I was a Collector, but Jackson rarely took me there. Not that I wanted to go back just yet.

The last time I’d visited the cemetery where my family was buried, I’d had one of the worst episodes I could remember. Even though the essence hadn’t been seen outside my visions since the night of Ally’s birthday, they were real enough for me not to want any of my memories back. That included no more Living Realm, at least until I could control this power inside of me.

We walked a path across the shore in silence. Our training site was far from the office that I’d flitted in and out of while I was a Soul Collector. Felix had chosen the site for us. I’d guessed it was because of my status among the Guard. Even though David had his mind set on destroying his daughter’s future, I had been the one to destroy a precious Prognatum. I understood their disdain for me, since everyone else had known about what I’d done in my past before Jackson revealed it to me. Felix had removed the memories of my human life from my mind to protect me. I now knew that those memories were linked to my soul-sucking abilities so as much as I had been mad at him, he had done me a favor.

I’d wondered many times why Felix didn’t opt to Recycle me. Technically I was still a Prognatum, even though I hadn’t transformed due to my untimely death at seventeen. Felix and the other Caeleste were hesitant to release me back to the Living Realm giving the Shadowed a chance at attempting to take me again.

I glanced over at Jackson, whose hardened expression was turned towards our destination. I hadn’t known what to expect of my ex-Guard when Felix assigned us to train together. I had been under the impression that he had been a Shadowed, which wasn’t completely wrong. When I died at my father’s hand, Felix had removed Jackson from his position in our family. He trained other Guard for a few decades until that proved to be a mistake, so Felix gave him a new job—to infiltrate and gain information from the Shadowed. But to keep him undercover, the other Guard were told that Jackson had been turned by the Shadowed a long time ago. I still didn’t understand the full reason for Jackson’s separation from the Guard but I knew a part of it was because of our relationship—a relationship that made the fire in Jackson’s eyes flicker with desire after I said something that reminded him of a memory of us. A fire that equally kindled something inside of me, just out of reach, and I needed to keep it that way.

Jackson nudged me, pulling me back to the present. “Let’s go over some of your verbal lessons while we walk. Unless you prefer silence?”

I’d had enough of internal turmoil to last for a while, so I grinned. “Shoot.”

Chapter Two

Jackson fired questions at me for the rest of our trek.

“Name three rules of corporeality?” he quizzed.

“Make as little interaction as possible. Never be photographed. And give the illusion of life.”

Along with the combat part of the training, the Guard were informed of a lot more than I’d ever been privy to as a Collector. The regulations of the Guard were quite intricate and I understood now why Cooper had kept a lot of it secret. The information was need-to-know for anyone other than a Guard. Initially I was overwhelmed with the lessons, but Jackson had a way of making it easier to digest. And I wasn’t blind to his charm. He made me want to learn and want to do the best I could. This role had been my destiny and I’d try harder than any other trainee to earn my spot back on the Guard, even if I wasn’t a transformed Prognatum.

Transformed Prognatum were still very much alive, but their hybrid status allowed them to cross over into the After without dying as I had. They were given their rightful spot on the Guard. I had to earn it. I wasn’t upset at that fact. Not anymore. Even though Felix and I had our differences, I appreciated the second chance. The only redeeming factor for me was that I’d given birth before I died, securing the Prognatum line. Ally would age until she appeared to be around thirty human years and be able to live the long lives that the Caeleste had, I would forever be seventeen.

“Mags.”

I found Jackson’s eyes, which were looking down at me expectantly.

Shaking my head I tried to focus. “What was the question?”

He regarded me for a second before repeating himself. “What is important about these rules?”

“To preserve and protect the After from the humans.”

I shoved away any distracting thoughts and prodded him for more questions.

***

Our training site wasn’t far from the one place in the After that calmed me in the way the cemetery used to. In the months since Ally’s birthday, Jackson had taken me all over the After. It was just as momentous as the Living Realm, possibly even more. And it was undoubtedly just as beautiful as I’d always seen from my old office. I knew of the other hubs for Soul Collectors and Guard but I never comprehended how many. Word of my ‘gift’ had spread fast so I’d learned to ignore the narrowed stares from the Guard and open-mouthed gapes from the Collectors. Although the further we got from our main office, the more exaggerated my story had become, making it less believable to intelligent souls.

One of my favorite hubs was one of the farthest we’d traveled to where I’d met a Collector who had been in the position almost twice as many years as I’d been. The three of us spent an afternoon together trading stories, and I enjoyed his company so much that by the end of it, guilt had risen to the surface, making my chest ache. I was finally able to understand why Felix wanted me to connect with other Collectors and that I had chosen not to. There was a lot more to the After than just Soul Collecting. Too bad it cost so much to get me to that point.

“Mags,” Jackson’s voice broke through my memories.

I looked up at him. “Sorry.”

He reached down, placing a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve been distracted all day—”

“I know,” I interrupted, trying to not focus on the weight of his hand on my soul. I looked up at our destination. “Let’s just go. I’ll be fine when we get there.”

He took my hand as we approached the familiar ridge that for so many years I’d only been on the other side of. We couldn’t transport the way we did in the Living Realm, so the sharp and rocky terrain leading to Gate Seven had to be navigated delicately.

Even though we’d climbed the ridge more times than I could count, Jackson insisted on us doing it together. Not that either of us could die again, but injuries weren’t beyond the scope of a soul, especially those who saw a forbidden ridge and chose to climb it.

Gate Seven was off-limits to souls outside of Collectors on their missions. We’d yet to establish how the Gatekeepers got there outside of actually climbing the ridge. But I understood the importance. They had a job to do and didn’t need distractions and the souls were overwhelmed enough with having just died, they didn’t need an audience.

We made our way up the path of rocks and I took the same slow steps that Jackson did, his hand squeezing mine to help me balance on the trickier pointed rocks. I focused on my footing, distracting my mind away from how his hand felt holding mine. Despite not knowing the full extent of our past together, I knew it had been passionate and absolutely forbidden. But we’d established a friendship during training that just extended beyond a professional one. I appreciated that he never gave up any information about our past unless I asked. He knew how sensitive I was about it so we stuck to the time of his human and soul life before we met.

Jackson gripped my arm with his other hand and helped me balance. “Last one.”

I closed my eyes like I always did, clearing the negative thoughts of my vision. My soul had calmed significantly already but I loved experiencing Gate Seven with an unclouded mind.

When Jackson let go of my hand, unconsciously I reached out for him, opening my eyes in the process.

As a Collector I’d seen thousands of manifestations of Gate Seven through the eyes of my target souls. The True Soul which helped coax the soul from the body also manifested how a soul would want their transition into the After to appear. Some envisioned pearly gates and others brought out their favorite place in the world. All of the manifestations eased the soul enough to accept their fate. Then the Gatekeepers would be there to guide them to their place in the After to spend their soul life.

But none of the manifestations I’d experienced would come close to what Gate Seven actually looked like. Gatekeepers lined the Veil at the edge of the After waiting for their assigned soul to cross over. I could barely make out the Veil against the glowing backdrop since it was nearly invisible but a lot stronger than it looked. In one of my many new lessons, Jackson had explained that what we referred to as Gate Seven was a sort of dead space between the Living and After Realms, which made it easier to visualize a soul’s manifestation.

Without the connection of a soul, I experienced Gate Seven as an endless sky with swirling patterns in every color. The souls and Collectors in the distance appeared to be standing on air, which at first looked a bit startling, but as a Collector I knew they were witnessing a different kind of beauty. The After didn’t share the same sun as the Living Realm, but it was more powerful creating a constant glow in the distance, illuminating the Realm. It never became fully dark at any point, just a shift in color from light pinks and purples fading into deep blues and reds and every color between.

My shoulders relaxed. The tension from the vision floated away as I sank down onto the plush grass. Jackson sat beside me. We watched the Soul Collectors arrive with new souls and quickly disappear back to the office, while the souls experienced their surroundings. Some stood still and others appeared to be on a treadmill as they walked in place, but I knew in their minds they were exploring their manifestation. That was a part of the Collecting gig that I never experienced and I found it fascinating each time Jackson took me there.

I turned to him. “Thank you.”

He nodded, his eyes trained on the Gate. “You’re welcome.”

“Sorry I ruined your training session.”

“Don’t worry about it, I needed a break anyway.”

“Doubtful.”

“Believe it or not, you’re getting better. It’s taking me almost twice as long to get you off your feet.”

A laugh burst from my lips. “That’s encouraging.”

“I meant that as a compliment. I’m not as nice as I used to be when it comes to combat.”

I remembered my first week of combat training and it hadn’t been easy. “You used to be nice?”

A wry smile touched his lips. “Like I said, you’re getting better.”

I looked back out toward Gate Seven. “I’m still not where I should be at this point.”

“You do have an advantage…” He wiggled his fingers.

“Absolutely not.” It wasn’t the first time he suggested accessing my ability to help become a better fighter. But no one else had these stirrings and they did just fine. Besides that, what would happen to Jackson if I actually embraced that side of me? Or anyone else within a mile radius for that matter?

Twisting his body so we sat directly across from each other, his knees brushed against mine. “I know you don’t believe me, but this is a part of you and it can be controlled.”

I checked my hands again “At whose expense?”

“I can handle it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I nearly had you earlier.”

“No you didn’t.”

I reached my hand out keeping it inches from his chest. “I distinctly remember being this close.”

“I’ve been around a long time, Mags. And I’ve been in a lot of fights. Trust me, I was in control.”

For some reason, putting down that part of me made me want to prove him wrong. I stood up quickly.

He followed suit, but slower, calculated.

His blue eyes faced the Gate as we circled each other, they appeared almost translucent against the glowing orange sky. He grinned. A spark erupted within me. That wicked grin always meant he was up to no good. It was the same one that made me want to both rush into his arms and run away at the same time.

“What are you doing?”

Lifting his sword from his baldric Jackson twirled it in his hand. “You were the one who stood up. I’m assuming you wanted to prove me wrong.”

I cursed my defiant side and Jackson for always knowing what was on my mind. Even though my memories were locked away, traces of them appeared in my personality. More so when he was around. It was as if they responded to him in some cruel joke against me.

“No. That wasn’t—”

Jackson looked over his shoulder, showcasing his defined jawline in profile. “Well we need to finish up training for today if anything.”

He nodded to my sword and I lifted it, pointing it up at the ready. I pressed the toes of my boots into the ground and shifted my weight, just as Jackson taught me. Like a bolt of lightning, he struck, his weapon crashing down on mine. I blocked, but he twisted around and brought the sword down again, harder this time. I struggled to keep my sword up against his, but he pulled it away quickly before striking again. I blocked every shot, but unlike before I had no opening. His method while training had been to use cunning and brute strength, just as the Shadowed did. They didn’t care about poise and precision, they wanted results by any means necessary. But in addition to that, he was proving a point; that he was right.

Before I knew it, Jackson had me against a tree, the bark pressing into my back. I ducked one of his blows but he deftly spun around and continued swinging.

“Focus,” he growled.

There was no sign of the devastatingly handsome boy that I’d grown to know. He had turned on his full Guard mode and it was both a beautiful and terrifying sight. “I am,” I said through gritted teeth, accepting another shattering strike on my sword. I wasn’t sure how long my arms could take the beating.

“Don’t think.” He didn’t even look like he was struggling. His muscles moved under him as if the sword was an extension of his body. “The Shadowed don’t think, they act.”

The grass was a lot softer than the hard packed dirt I was used to training on. I regretted baiting him before but at each connection of our weapons, my regret grew into white hot anger. My rage blinded me and for a second I forgot where I was. I tripped over a small root in the ground, breaking my rhythm and in the process my sword flew from my grip.

Dropping his sword on the ground, he came at me. Along with swordplay, he’d schooled me in hand-to-hand combat, but before I could make a fist, his hand shot out and gripped mine, hard. He twisted my body unnaturally and I cried out as he grabbed my other wrist and held it behind me. He pressed my back against his chest, caging me. I tried to wriggle free from his hold but I failed.

His cheek pressed against my head and he whispered in my ear. “Like I said, I can handle it.”

I shivered, but this wasn’t the moment to get distracted. I struggled, but his grip only tightened.

Focus.

I kicked out but his legs were cemented in place. I lifted my body, putting all my weight on his arms. He grunted and I found a chink in his grip and muscled out. Maneuvering his hands he twisted me around so we were chest to chest. With the height difference it was more my chest to his abdomen. He held my arms together at my back with one hand, the other held up in front of my face, goading me.

“Alright,” I said, defeated.

He smirked. “Alright what?”

“You can handle it.” He released his grip and I stepped back from him, needing to get away from his distracting body.

I held out my hand. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to use this.”

“Fair enough, but if you ever want to—”He trailed off.

I adjusted my baldric and stared at the space between us. My wrists ached where he had held them, but I’d be damned if I would show my weakness.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, seeming to read my mind.

I blinked hard and flicked my gaze up to his. “Not as much as I’m about to hurt you.” I slid my foot under my sword and flicked it up to my hand.

“Bring it on.”

Chapter Three

Several sessions later, Jackson called a break in our training. We’d been at it since the night before and he suggested we rest. As a Collector I’d spent my free time in my office in a towering skyscraper in New York City that straddled the edge of the After and the Living Realm. The Guard had an office there too, but in their time outside of assignments they had living quarters nearby.

With my new almost-Guard status I had been allowed to stay with them in a set of bungalows that stood atop a cliff. Like most parts of the After, the first time Jackson took me there I’d been speechless. The office I’d known for the past century was a short distance behind the bungalows so we were available as needed. And while Collectors were linked only with Gate Seven and the office, the Guard could wander the After as they pleased.

The trail leading from our training site up to the bungalows tapered farther up the side of the cliff. Jackson took the lead toward our resting place. Souls had no need to actually sleep, but rest was needed, especially after an intense training session.

A sinking sensation crushed my midsection as we neared the Guard camp, as it always did when we returned. I tried to stay away as much as I could manage but I couldn’t do it forever. Dozens of pairs of eyes burned into my back and I watched Jackson’s posture stiffen, but he stayed by my side.

Another regret about the night of Ally’s birthday was some of the Guard witnessing me suck the soul from David. Now, they all avoided me. Felix had made it perfectly clear that Jackson was the only one willing to work with me. I was a ticking time bomb and no one wanted to witness or be victim to the power I couldn’t control. Jackson was the only one to treat me as if it had never happened. I didn’t know which was worse.

“Screw them,” he said, leading me toward my bungalow. “You shouldn’t worry about what they think.”

“I don’t,” I lied.

He chuckled. “Sure.”

I shared a bungalow with Calliope, the only other Guard that would tolerate me and even that was generous since she avoided me as much as she could. The exterior of the bungalows was made of a golden wood that grew in the After forests, with a gossamer fabric covering the front doorway that rippled in the light breeze. The After had a tropical temperature with a constant light warm breeze moving across the land. In one word, paradise.

Pushing the fabric aside and I entered the main space of the bungalow. It was simply decorated with few pieces of furniture for sitting, but as much as Calliope had a hard exterior she was a bit girly. The space had been hers for quite some time and she had made it so with planters on most surfaces, displaying the flora of the After.

“Calliope?” I called.

No answer.

Jackson stood at the far end of the room, looking out the window. Where in the Living Realm there would be glass, in the After the windows were just open spaces. “I guess we’re alone.”

Even though we were alone most of the time during training, we always had work to distract us, but I dreaded moments like these. Through his eyes I always saw a hint of anticipation, like he expected the “real me” to come jumping out and saying, “Gotcha!” Then we’d be off on our merry way as a couple who were once again deeply in love. Tendrils of a chill crept down my spine.

Since leaving Ally’s body I’d not been able to access any memories besides those already stored from after I died and the ones Jackson showed me. But the last one stuck with me like a brand.

Jackson moved to stand in front of me, his eyebrows almost touching with concern. “What are you thinking about?” He swiped a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His fingers were warm, leaving a trail of awareness across my cheek.

I ignored his question and pushed past him towards my room. It was at the end of a short hallway. I had it set up like my sanctuary in the Collections office, with a desk on the far wall and a couch facing the window. But instead of the meadow I’d used as my calming device, it overlooked the cliff.

Jackson’s presence was overwhelming and I became very aware of his every movement. He’d never been inside my room since we’d started working together. It was just for me, but we both sensed the nearing of the end of our mandatory time together and I wasn’t sure I was ready to let go just yet. That sounded selfish but he’d become my only friend and almost a mentor to me, even though I knew he wanted more.

Pressing my hands into the seat and I leaned over taking in the sight of the After that even after a century still mesmerized me.

“So, tomorrow,” I started, turning around. Ally would graduate from high school and I wanted to be there for her. I’d seen her in passing a few weeks ago and we’d managed a polite greeting even though Felix thought it would be best to keep our distance for a while, at least until she had enough time to grieve for her father. I suppose, being around the soul who killed him probably wouldn’t help that.

But words failed me as my gaze landed on the spot on my desk where I’d placed the wooden owl. The one Jackson had given me when we’d first met and later again when I was at Ally’s house. After Ally’s transformation I’d gone back to the Greene house to retrieve it, wondering if I could gain any other memories from it, but I could only see the one it had triggered.

Jackson’s soul was stiff as his eyes followed mine and one of his hands reached out to touch the wooden figure.

My insides twisted uncomfortably.

His head tilted toward the owl. “You kept this?”

I shrugged and before I could say anything, his hands were on my hips. The intimate touch startled me.

“Why did you keep it?”

My thoughts were fuzzy, as if they were trying to make their way out of a thick fog all I could think was that his hands felt so right where they were. “I don’t know.”

“Mags.”

I looked down at the owl on the desk and touched it gingerly hoping it would clear my head. “I thought I could see more if I had it.”

Jackson’s mouth opened slightly and I stared at his lips, remembering through the memory of that night how they’d seared my forehead after he placed a kiss on it.

Suddenly, I put out my hands, pushing him away. I couldn’t focus when he stood that close.

He didn’t take the hint, instead he moved blocking my escape. “I thought you told Felix you didn’t want them back?”

I attempted to shove him away but he didn’t budge. “I did! And I don’t. But I just wanted—”

What did I want?

“What? Please tell me.”

I closed my eyes. “I wanted to see her,” I whispered.

The silence was deafening. We said nothing for a few moments and he didn’t ask who I meant. I knew he wouldn’t. We’d gotten to know each other well enough for him to know who I meant. Well I got to know him. He seemed to know a lot about me. Or who I used to be.

I stared at the wall. “I wanted to see Gemma. Okay? Happy? I thought if I could see her again, it would somehow help.”

He touched my chin and forced me to look up at him. “Help what?” he asked.

I bit my bottom lip. His eyes widened at the movement, so I quickly freed my lip from my teeth and pressed them together instead.

Smoothing a hand over my cheek, he gently asked, “What would seeing her again help?”

“It would remind me how much I didn’t want my memories back,” I said tilting my head and his hand dropped to his side. “If I saw her happy, I’d know that I’d never want to see me kill her again.”

“I can show you that.”

“I know.”

He let out a frustrated growl, his fingers moving to hide the owl. “Why didn’t you just ask?”

Walking to the space behind my desk, I put distance between us. I needed to clear my head. “Because it’s a stupid idea. I shouldn’t be given anything remotely happy after what I did.”

“What you did wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I didn’t protect you.”

I flinched. “You didn’t pull the trigger.” I could still hear the shots in my head as if they had just gone off. And Tristan’s sobs. I shook away the memory of Gemma’s unmoving stare.

Jackson was silent for a moment, his eyes never leaving mine. “Let me show you.”

The idea was tempting. It was all I’d wanted since I found the owl, but there had to be limitations. “No memories of me and you. Just her.”

Jackson nodded and lifted his hand again. I stepped forward, swallowing any doubt as he reached out, one hand cupping my cheek, the other grasping my hand lightly, tracing circles with his thumb and before I could worry about how those circles made me melt inside, the memory slammed into me.

“Margaret!” Gemma shouted with glee. “Come out of there, I know you are trying to scare me!”

I watched the young red-haired girl put her hands on her hips, trying to be brave. She scanned their father’s study, narrowing her eyes. The fire roaring in the hearth was the only source of light in the room, casting dark shadows across the furniture.

Maggie hid behind her father’s chair, in silent wait for her prey.

“I’m going to tell Mother!”

Maggie’s little hands tightened on the chair but she didn’t make a sound. I walked over to her, watching her mouth twist up into a sly grin. She was the older of the girls, but she protected her sister fiercely, proclaiming she was the only one who could tease her. Gemma hated when Maggie played games, but it thrilled Maggie no end and I could feel excited anticipation roll off her in waves.

Gemma’s bravery faltered as she stepped forward toward the overstuffed armchair, expecting her sister to jump out at her at any moment.

But Maggie waited. She had incredible patience, but I sensed that part of it was stubbornness and a desire to test boundaries. Her head poked out from behind the chair just as Gemma turned toward the love seat. I watched as Maggie slowly came out of her hiding spot and charged at her sister.

Gemma let out a scream but Maggie covered her sister’s mouth with her hand.

Both girls collapsed on the floor, Gemma’s muffled squeals threatening to break through Maggie’s tiny fingers.

“Shh,” Maggie cooed.

Gemma managed to wrestle her mouth away from Maggie’s hand. “I hate you!” Her indignation faltered into a fit of giggles and Maggie quickly joined her.

As she helped her sister up from the floor Maggie said, “Gemma. You need to always expect the unexpected. You can’t go through life being scared all the time.” Even though Maggie was a mere nine years old, she spoke as if she’d lived lifetimes before. It was one of the things that drew me to her more than any other Prognatum I’d watched.

Maggie took a handkerchief and wiped her sister’s cheeks.

“A lady wouldn’t do that to her sister,” Gemma said, finally relaxing.

“I don’t want to be a lady,” Maggie stated firmly. “I want to see the world and not just make babies for the rest of my life.”

Gemma shook her head. “That’s what we are supposed to do. That’s what Mother does.”

Maggie’s indignation flowed through her and into me. I knew Maggie was born to follow through with her Prognatum duties, she just didn’t know it yet. It was rare for a Prognatum to want the Guard position but Maggie would be thrilled when her father revealed it to her at seventeen.

As Maggie reached down to help Gemma up from the floor she whispered, “It’s not for me.”

Gemma wrapped her sister in a tight hug. “I will love you either way, dear sister.”

Maggie rested her head against Gemma’s shoulder. “I love you too.”

I fell out of the memory just as quickly as I’d fallen in, my legs shaking.

Jackson caught me and wrapped his arms around me. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I leaned closer, enjoying the feeling of being protected, and looked up at him. “You didn’t. It was a nice memory. Thank you.”

Jackson gave me a quick nod. “You’re welcome. If you want any more I have plenty.” He smirked tapping a finger on the side of his head.

I stepped out of his grasp, afraid of how close we had been and how much I had liked it. “Maybe some other time.”

He sobered and put the owl back on my desk.

“It’s strange to feel my emotions through you.”

Jackson chuckled, a low rumble in his chest, a sound I heard so infrequently, yet the one that made my day complete when I heard it. “When you get your first Prognatum job, you’ll get used to it.”

“If,” I hedged.

“When,” he corrected.

I heard shuffling from the other room, indicating Calliope’s arrival to our bungalow.

“Let’s meet in the morning for training before the graduation?” Jackson said as we walked from the room into the main area.

“Sounds good.”

Jackson nodded at Calliope as we passed. She didn’t hide her scowl. Where she was stony with me, she detested Jackson. Mostly because of what he’d done to Cooper all those years ago; nearly destroying him so he could get his job back. But I was in no position to judge since I’d actually destroyed someone.

I waved to Jackson and watched as he disappeared out into the night. Turning back to the main room I saw Calliope’s eyes slide over mine and quickly flick toward my room. Smoothing her short black hair from her face, she narrowed her chocolate brown eyes at me before turning on her heel and retiring to her room.

Rolling my eyes I headed back to my room. I just didn’t have the energy for Calliope’s attitude tonight. Tomorrow was one day closer to proving my worth and I wouldn’t waste that worrying about fitting in with her. At least not yet.

Chapter Four

The next morning, after a particularly intense training session, Jackson and I transported to Freedom High School. I didn’t know how I’d feel about going back. I hadn’t spent much time there, but it’s where I first met Ally, and Jackson officially, and where he’d shown me my traumatic last day as a human. I tore my eyes away from the concrete building straight onto other concrete things, such as the glares from the other Guard.

Our arrival hadn’t gone unnoticed. Several Guard stared, others made it a point to ignore us. Jackson and I were the black sheep of the team and I could imagine what they were thinking right now. Although I was glad I couldn’t. I counted at least two dozen Guard as we made our way to the football field where there were almost a hundred empty blue and gold painted chairs set up on the grass.

Jackson pointed to the last row of chairs. “Let’s set up back here.”

“You don’t have to protect me from them,” I said, looking into his hardened gaze.

He shrugged. “I’m not. These are the best seats in the house.”

I scanned the area, remembering the night before Ally’s birthday when the field teemed with Shadowed and we came close to losing. Only Cooper’s bravery had kept me and Ally’s body safe. He’d fought tooth and nail for us, yet I hadn’t had time to thank him. I thought I’d found a friend but I’m pretty sure there was a proximity factor involved in our friendship as we’d barely had a conversation since training started. Not that it wasn’t completely my fault for creating that gap…

“You okay?” Jackson asked cutting off my thoughts.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Nothing will happen,” he said softly, as he tilted his head indicating the rest of the Guard. “She is going to be safe, I think there are more Guard here than humans.”

I blinked a few times and turned away. Of course he was talking about Ally. I should have been thinking about her too.

Focus, I channeled Jackson’s constant reminder.

Families and friends of the graduates settled onto the bleachers on the far side of the field. I spotted Marie in the crowd, settling in her seat, smoothing her floral print dress across her lap. She adjusted her oversized white hat and looked up at Henry who held her matching purse as he sat down next to her. His hand moved to her lap, weaving his fingers in hers.

Who would have thought?

I’d been too busy when I was in Ally’s body to realize that the both of them had a life outside of taking care of her. One that was closer than I’d thought.

Jackson nudged me. “It’s starting.”

The student band began an upbeat song filled with off-beat drums and clashing cymbals. I tuned them out and focused on the entrance to the field as the crowd held its collective breath, waiting for a recognizable face.

They marched in procession in alternating blue and gold caps and gowns, but I didn’t need to look too hard for Ally. Six Guard flanked the middle of the procession on either side.

Ally’s golden hair shone against the blazing afternoon sunlight. Her transformation had intensified her beauty and, like her classmates and others in the crowd, I found her hard to ignore. Her head tilted up as she scanned the bleachers. Some might think it was a ‘holier than thou’ stature, but I knew it was the fact that the Guard were blocking her view as some of them were taller than her.

A tugging sensation pulled my attention to the spot next to her. Cooper marched proudly by her side. I could feel his excitement from our distance although underneath his grin he appeared distracted. He checked out the crowd, one face at a time. I’d heard from Calliope, one of the few times she’d spoken to me in the last few months, that Ally had been moved to a secure location in the After when she wasn’t at school. She had used some money from her father’s inheritance to do some ‘renovations’ at the house to hide the fact that she needed to keep hidden until Felix was sure the threat from the Shadowed was over. Hence the increased Guard patrol for her graduation.

I kept the blond boy in my periphery as they neared, but I couldn’t pretend not to notice his gray eyes when they found me. Cooper held my gaze even as he walked and I didn’t need to turn to know what Jackson’s expression would be. Cooper’s mouth quirked up and he tossed me a small wave before his eyes flicked toward Jackson, revealing a not so nice grimace.

Jackson let out a low hiss.

Not that I expected them to suddenly get along, but I thought they’d at least be civilized since we were all on the same side.

The front of the line moved down the aisle closer to where we stood. I fought to keep my eyes off Cooper and duly spotted Ally’s ex-boyfriend, Seth, walking at the front of the line. He looked thinner. I could imagine how miserable Ally had made his life after getting back into her body and discovering he’d cheated on her with one of her best friends. Then Jamie came into view and I waved to her. She beamed back, giving me a quick wave with her good arm before skipping toward the stage and taking her place in the front row.

The memory of how I’d involved Jamie in Ally’s case came flooding back to me. It was my fault she was close enough that night for the Shadowed to take her and break her arm while restraining her. Jackson had reiterated that it wasn’t my fault, but I don’t think I could ever let it go or forgive myself. That was, until she was at least completely healed.

Heather flounced by, her long locks traded for a short brunette bob whispering across the glossy fabric of her gold gown. She’d always been a happy girl, but today she absolutely glowed. I understood why when house-party Brody snuck up from a few students behind her and she slid his arm around her waist. He held her close as they walked together to their seats.

Krystal and Ally arrived several students behind them. Krystal had been one of my main suspects in Ally’s disappearance but it turned out her big secret was her antics with Seth behind Ally’s back. I glanced at Ally who appeared unfazed and wondered how much of it was an act. When I had inhabited her body I’d felt her devotion and love for Seth, I’m sure it was a blow to her ego, and not just her heart, to find out about Krystal and Seth. I watched Krystal shuffle quickly up the line while Ally used the grass as her own personal runway. Even though the gold gown wasn’t flattering on any of the girls, Ally made it work for her. Her eyes found mine as she passed. The eyes I saw through for a week. They definitely looked better on her. A small smile touched her lips as she proceeded.

The rest of the students filed into their seats just as the band completed their song.

“Finally,” Jackson moaned.

I stifled a laugh and watched a top-heavy man approach the podium on the stage.

“Students, families, and friends,” he started, his voice echoing across the field. “Today is a momentous occasion for these amazing individuals who sit before me.”

His voice faded to the background as I scanned the crowd. The Shadowed hadn’t attempted any other contact with Ally or me since that night, but with the number of Shadowed who got away that night, I knew we couldn’t be too careful.

A man caught my attention. Everyone else sat on the bleachers, but he stood in front of them. I recognized him almost immediately: Jamie’s father, Robert Blackhorn. He was leaning against a chain-link fence separating the field from the crowd. His navy suit was tailored to his thin frame and his blond curls jutted out from under a hat. But it wasn’t his outfit that caught my attention. It was his hardened glare in the direction of my great-granddaughter, Ally.

I bumped Jackson with my elbow. “Hey.”

“I see him.”

Of course he did.

Always one step ahead of me.

“Shouldn’t he seem a little happier to see his daughter graduate?”

Jackson’s mouth twitched, but he stayed calm, professional. “I’ll be right back.” Jackson disappeared and reappeared behind Robert. At least mine wasn’t the only personal space he managed to challenge. What was he going to do? Become corporeal? I think the sword would cause a scene.

“Hey.” Cooper’s voice spoke close to my ear, jolting my attention from Robert. “I see your guard dog is gone.”

“I see you still like to startle people,” I snapped back, fighting back a smile.

He bit back a grin. “Just you.”

“He’s just doing his job,” I said a tersely. Why did I feel the need to defend Jackson?

Maybe because he chose you after everyone else didn’t. Including Cooper.

“You aren’t his Prognatum anymore, you know that, right? Just because he was your Guard when you were alive doesn’t mean—”

“How’s Ally?” I said changing the subject. I didn’t need him to go on a diatribe about Jackson and my relationship. Platonic or otherwise.

He pulled his hand through his dirty blond locks, nodding. “She’s doing great. You should come by the place soon so you and Ally can get better acquainted. She’d love that.”

“I’d like that, too.” I felt an overwhelming excitement. Ally wanted to get to know me better; Just then Jackson appeared at my side. “Not until her probation is over,” he growled, glaring at Cooper over my head.

“What’s the harm?” Cooper said, his expression hard.

Jackson moved to my side. “They have the rest of their immortal lives to get to know each other. I need to get Mags ready so Felix can promote her to where she truly belongs.”

“Whose fault was it that she isn’t already in her proper place?” I could see Cooper’s anger growing.

“Enough!” I put my hands up between them, exasperated. “Jackson. She’s my family. And she wants to talk to me. I’d like to try and mend what I can.”

“The Maggie I knew never asked for permission.” Cooper’s voice was low, but I knew he wanted Jackson to hear.

Jackson fixed Cooper with a glare, but said nothing. “You knew her for what, a week?”

Cooper continued as if Jackson had never spoken. “You can talk to her now if you want. She uses her phone to communicate with me when we are on this Realm.”

I hesitated.

Cooper disappeared from my side and reappeared at the end of the row Ally occupied.

“I should—”

“I know.” Jackson’s hand rested on my shoulder. “You should talk to her. I know it would make you happy.”

“She’s my family,” I repeated, wishing he could understand. “The only one I have.”

His jaw tightened but he kept his gaze toward the students. “Not the only one,” he murmured.

I didn’t need to get into that conversation just yet.

“I’ll be quick.” I said and transported to the aisle behind Ally, walking the rest of the way to make sure I didn’t just pop in like Cooper insisted on doing. It was a freeing feeling to transport like that on the Living Realm. As a Collector, I’d only been able to transport from the After to the Living, now my transportation was limitless on the Living Realm because of my new status. Yet, the closer I got to her the more my legs felt like lead. It was the first real face to face meeting since her birthday. I knew she wouldn’t attack me in front of the other humans, but I was worried nonetheless.

She glanced up at me, her brilliant green eyes peeking out underneath a set of thick eyelashes, then she looked pointedly down to her phone and turned away in her seat. Krystal, who was sitting next to her, stiffened.

I glanced at Cooper, but he bobbed his head encouragingly.

I watched Ally open a blank text message screen and type. “Hey.”

“Hi,” I replied, feeling stupid. I knew in my non-corporeal form that the humans couldn’t see me but I still remained vigilant when they were all around me.

Two more Guard appeared behind Cooper and I turned to see another set behind me.

Did they think I was going to hurt her?

Ally groaned.

“I bet you are sick of the attention, huh?” I said, still feeling a little awkward.

Ally furiously shook her head as her fingers flew over the keys “You have no idea. They still think I can’t defend myself. What’s the point of being a Prognatum if I need 24 hour Guard duty?”

I knelt down next to her chair. “They know you can defend yourself. I think they are just worried about—”

“You?” she typed.

I winced. “I forgot how straightforward you are.”

Ally blew out a breath. “I’m not—” she said frustratedly, and a boy in front of her looked over as if his life depended on her next words, but instead she turned in her seat and continued typing. “I’m not worried about u. What happened with my father was—”Her fingers stopped. For a split second her facade broke before her fingers flurried over the keyboard once again. “Not ur fault. He would have done the same to me if u didn’t stop him.”

No, he couldn’t. The soul-sucking thing was my deranged super power, which not even Felix understood. “I don’t think so,” I said weakly. We listened while the valedictorian gave her speech, our conversation at a standstill. I knew David would have done anything to get me to transform, including damning his own daughter’s soul to who knows where, but that wasn’t encouraging. She’d pretty much figured it out on her own but I didn’t want to be the one to say it. I stood up. “I bet you are happy to get out of here.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “U have no idea. Cooper tried to explain what happened with Seth & Krystal, but I still don’t get it.”

“You were made for a better life,” I said, feeling the truth and a familiarity with the words. “There is so much more out there than Seth and Krystal. It’s just one experience that will make you stronger.”

“I guess. I’m going to miss Heather and Marie tho.”

We both looked toward the bleachers and saw Marie frantically waving at Ally.

Ally waved before texting again. “I was a nightmare to her.”

And it was my fault she had to stay away from her home. If only I’d caught onto David’s plan sooner, maybe we would have had one up on the Shadowed.

“David Greene.” The name echoed across the field.

I leaned forward, and nearly grabbed the chair before realizing where I was. Guard could become corporeal in the Living Realm but I wasn’t dressed to fit in. The fading in and out of visibility among the humans had been a tricky skill to learn under my new status but today wasn’t the day to challenge that. I adjusted my stance, shoving my hands into my pockets trying to keep myself upright.

The principal hesitated and found Ally among the students. He nodded to her before continuing. “David was a bastion of this community. I would like us all to share a moment of silence for his recent and sudden passing.”

Just when I thought we were getting somewhere. His words cut through my soul like a blade as the events of Ally’s birthday flashed before my eyes. My surging power churned within me. I attempted to swallow it down.

Not here, please not here.

The moment of silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity and I kept my hands fisted for fear of the essence coming out. Jackson appeared at my side and relief flooded through me.

He reached out and tentatively touched my arm. “You’re fine. Stay right here. That night is over.” His whispered words soothed me as I focused on staying in that moment.

Suddenly I became aware of my surroundings, as Cooper rushed to my other side. “What’s wrong?” he asked, but I couldn’t answer.

Ally cleared her throat and I managed to peek down at her phone whilst still maintaining my calm.

“R U OK?” she typed.

“Yes,” I breathed through clenched teeth, reassuring myself and hopefully them.

As Jackson and I locked eyes the sensation slowly subsided and he nodded slowly, giving me an encouraging grin.

The moment of silence was over and the principal continued on with the ceremony.

I looked at Cooper. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to—”

“I know,” he said, his eyes shining in the sunlight.

“I’ll see you after,” I said quickly before transporting back to where we’d been stationed at the beginning of the ceremony.

I should have stayed there.

Jackson followed me.

In my periphery, Cooper’s body was turned to us but I didn’t dare look. I didn’t need to be reminded of how disappointing I was to another Guard.

“Hey,” Jackson said in a soft voice. “Do you want to go?”

I shook my head, I couldn’t always retreat to Gate Seven. “No. I’ll just stay back here.”

The students filed out of their seats to receive their diplomas and I mustered up the energy to clap for Jamie, knowing she could hear me. She skipped off the stage and as she made her way to her seat she winked at me. The crowd and Guard exploded with whoops and cheers when Ally received hers and I swore I could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks.

As the ceremony ended, I started to feel more like myself and remembered what happened before I visited with Ally. “What was the deal with Robert?”

“He’s harmless.”

I looked over at the space that Robert had occupied but it was empty. My eyes darted over the crowd, finding him two rows behind Marie and Henry, glaring.

“I don’t call that harmless,” I said pointedly, “He’s practically boring holes in Marie’s head. We need to do something.”

Jackson sighed. “He hasn’t done anything, Mags. It’s fine. We have bigger problems to worry about other than a meddling human.”

“Unless that meddling human hurts Ally.”

“You think I would let that happen?”

“I don’t know what to think.” I was still frustrated from letting myself lose control, but I didn’t intend to take it out on Jackson.

He moved away from me and whispered in a hurt voice, “At the very least I didn’t think I needed to prove my loyalty to the Guard to you.”

“I didn’t—”

He cut me off. “Don’t worry about it.”

Great. I’d managed to annoy the only person who volunteered to spend any time with me.

“I’m sorry.”

His stoic expression revealed nothing. “I said don’t worry about it.”

Chapter Five

After the closing speeches, the student band started up again and the graduates filed out just as they had entered. If it were even possible, the Guard walked closer to Ally then they had on the way in. Jackson and I waited until the humans filtered out of the stadium and toward the school.

We walked in silence for a few minutes lingering at the back of the group. The humans were headed for the gym where a reception would take place. I kept replaying our conversation over in my head, wishing I could have kept my mouth shut. I hadn’t meant to accuse him of anything, but I was angrier at myself for letting David’s name get to me.

I needed to fix it. “Jackson, I—”

“No.” He grabbed my arm, steering me away from the gym down a long, empty hallway. He stopped in front of a row of lockers and let me go. Then proceeded to stare at me, a silent war waging across his face.

“Again, I’m sorry. I don’t know—”

“I know I don’t deserve anything from you after—” He dropped his head to his chest.

Without thinking I clasped his hand in mine. “It doesn’t matter what happened before.”

He moved closer, slowly shaking his head. “This would be so much easier if you remembered.”

“Easier for who?” I asked.

“Me. Is that what you wanted to hear?” His mouth lifted into a lopsided grin. “But not in the way you might think.” The grin morphed into a grimace and I yearned to bring his playful smile out again. “I will prove my trustworthiness to you once again. If it’s the last thing I do.”

“You don’t—”

Jackson’s fingertips touched my lips, silencing my next words. “I do.” His fingers brushed against my cheek before he dropped his hand to his side.

A fire had erupted inside of me from his one touch and I was thankful when Jackson took a step back.

A group of young children came screaming down the hallway playing a game of Tag.

“We should—” I started, breathless.

“Yeah.”

The moment, whatever it meant for us, had ended. And not soon enough. For as much as Jackson was a great trainer, there hadn’t been a day that he didn’t challenge me physically and emotionally, making me question my decision about keeping my memories locked away. I had to keep that promise to myself. For his sake and mine.

***

Inside the gym, tables and chairs were set up in the center of the room along with several stations of food. I’d experienced the memory of my death-day through Jackson in that room and unconsciously I conjured the memory of Gemma and Tristan’s forms twisted around each other on her bed, their lifeless eyes staring back at me. Just like the David visions, I attempted to block them. As Jackson had told me many times during my weak moments, it was over and I had to move on. The edges of my vision turned fuzzy and I willed the images to stay away. It took some effort but eventually I won that battle.

Jackson strolled a few steps ahead of me, unaware of the struggle going on behind him. Quickening my pace I moved through the crowd with ease. Since I’d traded out my Collector abilities for Guard ones, the feeling of humans passing through me wasn’t as disgusting as it had been. I wished I could be corporeal and experience this day with Ally, but without changing clothes first, my sword would scare the majority of humans.

The Guard gave us a wide berth as we reached Ally and Cooper and I kept my eyes on Ally as she chatted with Marie and Henry, very aware that the couple held hands.

Heather’s loud voice spoke animatedly to what must have been her family, her back to Ally. A younger boy who favored Heather’s almond-shaped eyes and button nose stood next to her, looking bored and somewhat disgruntled.

When Ally’s eyes met mine, they narrowed in a silent question, asking if I was okay. I nodded. She was very astute, just as the other Guard were. In the short time I’d known her, Ally hadn’t really spoken much, appearing to be deep in thought more often than not. The inherent abilities of observation would help her as a Guard.

She smiled at Cooper. He shrugged in return as if they shared a silent conversation.

It shouldn’t have bothered me that they were closer now. I’d thought he had feelings for her the way that Jackson did for me in my past, but he had denied it, comparing Ally to a sister more than a potential girlfriend.

Hurried footfalls broke into my thoughts. I turned in time to see Jamie bounding up to our little group frisky as a puppy. “Finally!” she whooped. “We did it!”

“Hey girl!” Heather said hugging Jamie to her side.

Since when had Jamie become friends with Heather?

The girls talked in hushed tones, Heather leaning down to probably say something snarky which elicited a fit of laughter from Jamie.

Jackson grunted at me and I turned to see Robert approaching the group as Ally let out a small hiss. Jamie hadn’t heard it, I assumed if they were friends it wouldn’t be okay for Ally to have such disdain for the man in front of his daughter.

“Not true—” Jamie responded to Heather, but stopped when Robert arrived.

Ally’s lip curled ever so slightly but I caught it before it went back down. We shared the same feeling. Robert had creeped me out from the day at the hospital after I’d inhabited her body. And the fact that he studied the paranormal, such as Ally and myself, made him even more of a threat. He always seemed to be looking for something to study.

Robert placed a hand on Jamie’s good arm and looked around. “Are they here?”

Ally grabbed Heather and escorted her to the tables, calling over her shoulder, “See you later, Jamie.”

Cooper and the rest of the Guard followed Ally, but I stayed where I was. My protective side flared up and I wanted to hear what he had to say to his daughter.

Jamie’s dejected expression turned to mortification as she whirled on her father. “What the heck, Dad? I’m never going to have friends if you insist on scaring them all away.”

I hesitated a short distance away from them and felt Jackson stop by my side.

“What—?”

I held up a hand. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Robert as he spoke.

His gaze bored into the back of Ally’s head. “I told you I don’t want you hanging around that girl. Because of her you’re in a cast.”

“Dad,” Jamie pleaded. “I told you I fell. She was the one who took me to the hospital.”

“You are my daughter and also a terrible liar. I don’t want you to go near her again.”

“If you don’t let me go tonight I will leave for Yera’s sooner rather than later,” she said flippantly.

“Come on,” Jackson touched my shoulder.

I shook my head impatiently. “Who’s Yera?”

He ignored my question. “We have a job to do. Jamie’s with her dad, she’ll be fine.”

I slowly turned around, knowing he was right. I hadn’t realized how much I missed Jamie. I’d have to make a trip to the Living Realm to visit her. And if she was going somewhere I’d have to make it sooner rather than later.

***

We stayed close to Ally for the remainder of the reception and I noticed a gaping shift in her treatment of others since meeting her. I think almost dying would give anyone a different perspective on life, especially a life that would last quite a long time.

Even though Jackson clung to my side, Cooper managed to squeeze his way past him. “Ally has something for you. It’s in her locker.”

I looked up at Jackson, but immediately Cooper’s words from earlier came to the forefront of my mind. I didn’t need permission to do anything. I was on the same level as they were. Almost.

“Sounds good.”

“Are we taking the army as well?” Jackson mused.

Cooper’s gaze flicked up at Jackson. “No. We are heading back to the After immediately following. The other Guard are for crowd control only.”

Jackson’s eyes scanned the room. “Fine. But let’s be quick about it. I’d like to get in another training session today.”

Ally was in a conversation with Heather and Brody, but she leaned her head toward us, listening and touched Heather’s arm. “I have to go. Marie and Henry want to do this dinner thing.”

She’d told Marie the same thing about Heather, sealing an alibi, so I knew it was time to go. Ally hugged her friends.

“We need to have a sleepover soon!” Heather exclaimed. “I feel like I haven’t seen you outside of school in forever!”

Ally smiled tightly and gave Heather another hug. “I’ll call you.” But Heather’s attention was already on Brody as they left the gym hand in hand.

Ally watched them leave with an almost wistful expression.

“We should go,” Cooper hinted.

Ally sighed and took off toward the gym entrance, stripping her cap and gown on the way. She wore a flowing dress underneath and tossed the strewn outfit to a group of underclassmen at a small table. The table was piled high with discarded caps and gowns and a few of the girls looked mortified at their task. I didn’t have time to linger though as Jackson, Cooper, and Ally left the gym.

The empty hallway reminded me of the night that the Shadowed had come after us during the dance. I quickly looked out of the double doors to check the field. No scythes were present, just the maintenance group stacking folding chairs onto carts. Ally’s flip flops thwacked with each step she took toward our destination, the sound bouncing off the walls of the narrow hall.

We rounded the corner and went up a flight of stairs down another hallway, the same one that led to Ally’s chemistry class. The room where I’d first laid eyes on her. I often wondered if I should have refused her mission. Maybe things would have turned out differently, but I doubt Felix would have allowed that and I had certainly never been one to turn down a challenge.

Ally stopped at a locker near the end of the hall and scrolled her combination. “Cooper told me what lengths you took to find this. And since you are the oldest relative that I’ve met, I thought you should have it.” She opened her locker and pulled out the Book of Records, the old tome that outlined the lineage of our family from the first Caeleste that mated with a human creating our Prognatum line.

“I can’t—” Even though I’d pushed my way through David’s wards to get the book, I didn’t feel right taking it from her. That was the day my entire after-life changed, when I knew I was something more and when I realized I was living a lie. I was the black sheep, I didn’t deserve anything good. Even though, I would have loved to explore it more.

Ally pushed it toward me. “Cooper said that the book can go to the After with you. It’s magical or whatever.” Her phone blasted a pop song, grabbing her attention.

I took the book and she reached into her pocket to pull the phone out. “Hello? Jamie? Wait. Slow down.” Her head snapped up and she gave Cooper and me a worried look. “That’s impossible. Where are you?”

Jamie’s inaudible voice spoke frantically over the receiver. Ally took the book back and shoved it into her locker, then she lifted her baldric from the space and closed the door.

Jamie’s tiny frame rounded the corner, her bad arm flailing like a chicken wing as she struggled for balance.

Ally hung up her phone. “What do you mean Aaron is here?”

“What?” Cooper, Jackson, and I spoke in unison.

“Aaron is gone,” I said with finality, just as Cooper and Jackson pulled out their swords.

Jamie rushed to our side, panting for breath. “I. Saw. Him. In. The. Parking. Lot.” Then the chattering began. It had been warm enough in the gym that she didn’t get the chills as she did around any After being, but with three of them around her, I knew she wouldn’t be able to subdue her ‘tell’.

Ally barely hid her eye roll. “It must have been someone else.”

“I know what I saw,” Jamie retorted fiercely.

“You also saw me slam him against a rock wall,” I said.

“Merely a bump,” a familiar voice called from behind us.

My soul stiffened. I lifted my sword from behind me as I turned around. “Aaron.”

“Did you miss me?”

I wanted to slap that stupid grin from his face. He looked the same as I remembered. Not that I expected any different. Although I hadn’t anticipated he’d still be wearing the Guard uniform, even though it looked tattered around the edges.

“I got rid of you,” I spat, reaching for Jamie. She skittered behind me, and I blocked her from his slimy gaze.

Aaron reached up and touched the back of his head. “You should know the only way to properly dispose of a soul is with your sword. Or—”His grin widened, showing all of his teeth. “Or you can suck the life out of them.”

My soul prickled at the thought of Aaron’s soul anywhere near me, just as two Shadowed appeared at his side towering over him with matching scythes strapped to their backs.

One stepped forward, his silvery blond hair cascaded the length of his back. His eyes fell on mine. “We’ve come to collect you. We wish your friends no harm.”

Ally snorted, “Yeah right.” She readied her sword in front of her.

Cooper and Jackson moved in front of Ally and me. The one time they agreed on anything. If we weren’t in imminent danger I might have taken a picture.

“You aren’t collecting anything,” Jackson growled.

Aaron stepped back, allowing the leader to take his place. Typical. Aaron could talk but he never delivered. Why hadn’t Felix listened to me from the start and Recycled Aaron instead of making him a Guard?

The blond tilted his head to the side as if Jackson was an insect. “Our mission is clear. We collect and leave. No harm done.”

No harm except them taking me to who knows where. No way.

“Not a chance,” Cooper said.

The leader narrowed his gaze. “I don’t want to use force but I will if necessary.” He lifted his scythe and displayed it in front of him, nodding at the third Shadowed, a skinny man whose face resembled a rodent. He grinned wickedly, displaying a mouth with gaping holes where his teeth should have been, and disappeared from sight.

I turned just as he appeared at my side, his unkempt fingers reaching for me. Jamie squealed and I thrust my sword in front of me, but before I could strike, Jackson shoved us back against the lockers.

He kicked Rat Face in the gut. Rat Face scowled and reached for his weapon, detaching the blade from the sheath and swinging it in quick strikes at Jackson, missing him by inches. I found myself entranced by Jackson. I knew he was a strong fighter but he was right, he had been gentle with me. His graceful form weaved back and forth between the arcs of the scythe, landing a few more kicks of his own.

Jamie whimpered and I knew I had to get her out of there before she got hurt again, or worse.

“Maggie,” she said fearfully, her teeth chattering harder.

I grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the fray. “I’m getting you out of here.”

Ally and Cooper were defending themselves against Aaron and the blond Shadowed, both of them moving as a unit. The sides were evenly matched and I should have been the tipping point. A hint of my power surged deep within me, but I shoved it down. Jamie was my priority, and I would only be able to help once she was safe.

“Come on.”

Jamie shuffled in front of me, back the way we’d come. The sounds of crashing swords against scythes rang behind me but I couldn’t lose focus. We were almost to the stairs when something shoved me from behind.

Chapter Six

My knees went from under me. The floor rocketed up to my face but before I slammed into the ground a hand wrapped around my arm, pulling me up. Jackson’s face was twisted with rage as Rat Face took his stance for another attack.

Jamie was halfway down the stairs before she realized she was alone. She looked back towards me with wide eyes.

“Go!” I called, pulling my sword out.

Even though we were two against one, Rat Face didn’t seem concerned. But he did attack Jackson first. If their mission was to get me on their side, I doubt they would hurt me, but as for my friends? I didn’t want to take any chances.

“Now it’s your turn to get out of here,” Jackson grunted, taking another blow from Rat Face.

I circled around Rat Face. “Absolutely not.”

“Get back to the After,” Jackson snapped through gritted teeth as he avoided a scythe to his face.

Rat Face moved, keeping the two of us in front of him.

“I’m not leaving.”

“We’re not going to hurt you. But we have been instructed to hurt your friends if necessary,” Rat Face confided with a smile.

Suddenly I was filled with purpose, Jamie had a broken arm because of me. Ally didn’t have a father because of me and I wasn’t risking anything else happening to any one of them.

Shoving my sword forward, I blocked a blow meant for Jackson. Rat Face’s eyes narrowed as he pushed my weapon away with his, but he didn’t counterattack, instead he slid back a few steps. I lunged forward, but Jackson took over again, shoving me to one side.

Rat Face slipped under Jackson’s arm and reached for me again, and this time he touched me. A searing heat sluiced through me. Jackson’s eyes went wide and his face disappeared. Rat Face had transported us to the other end of the hall, behind the blond and Aaron.

“Got her.”

But I wasn’t going anywhere with them. As much as I wanted information, Rat Face wasn’t going to stop unless someone made him do so and this was what I was trained to do. Focusing on his chest I raised my sword and sliced it across his front. His soul stiffened and I pulled the blade out, watching as his soul disintegrated.

The heat from Rat Face’s touch was nothing compared to the heat coursing through me as my power crept up from its hidden place. I tried to shove it back down, but it had had a taste of a soul and wanted more.

Shocked at my own reaction I let my sword clatter to the ground and I stepped back, my hands clasped behind me.

Aaron took advantage of the momentary distraction and landed a fist to Ally’s head. She faltered and fell against the lockers. Then he quickly turned and lunged at me, his scythe raised high.

The world froze around us. My power spread through me as it homed in on its new target. His scythe nearly grazed me but I ducked under its deadly edge, coming up to stand face to face with him. My sword was out of reach so I reached up and grabbed for his throat. He gasped as the orange essence effortlessly wrapped itself around his neck, feeling his life force coursing under my fingertips. The essence continued to tighten around his throat. He choked as I crushed him under my hand. I tasted a fraction of what I could take from him and as each second ticked by it became harder and harder not to give in to the power and take him the same way I took David.

Why not take him? an unsettling part of me questioned. You thought you’d already destroyed him.

My hands gripped tighter, the essence’s color deepening in response.

“Maggie, no!” Cooper shouted. “We can use him.”

Ally and Cooper held their swords up toward the blond Shadowed, his scythe no longer in his hands.

Jackson touched my hands, wincing. The essence’s color brightened.

“Don’t—” I didn’t want to risk any of them near me when my power was unleashed. Closing my eyes, I shoved it down as best as I could and was surprised to see how quickly it conceded.

I opened my eyes in time to see Jackson turn to the blond Shadowed and growl, “You’re outnumbered.”

The blond met each of the Guard’s gazes before locking a fearful stare on me. “He won’t stop looking for you,” he said, his voice wavering.

I flinched. “Who? Who won’t stop looking for me?”

Suddenly the weight in my hands lessened as Aaron slipped from my grasp. I lunged for him but was too late. Aaron lifted my sword from the ground, slicing it through the blond. The Shadowed’s mouth opened in a silent scream before his soul disintegrated.

Jackson and Cooper wasted no time in restraining Aaron. But he didn’t put up a fight. Instead he let out a relieved laugh, an uncharacteristic response for someone in his predicament. “If we didn’t bring you back we would have been destroyed anyway. At least in the After I can be Recycled.”

“We’ll see about that,” Jackson grunted.

“The Caeleste over there are more generous than the ones running with the Shadowed,” Aaron sneered back.

I went over to Ally who was leaning against the wall, rubbing her head. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she said, shoving off the wall and stalking toward the guys.

“What are you—” I barely finished my question when Ally’s fist connected with Aaron’s face. His head shot back then rolled forward, falling limp on his shoulders.

Ally gave me a sidelong glance. “I’m better now.”

I shook my head, amused. “What’s the plan now?”

Jackson adjusted his grip on Aaron. “We’re all going back to the After. I’m sure the Caeleste will have some questions for the traitor.”

I picked up my sword and sheathed it. “I should check on Jamie, make sure she got home okay.”

“We can do that later,” Jackson said.

Ally opened her locker and pulled out the book. “Okay, let’s go.”

***

The After as a whole tended to be a calm place which is why I wasn’t prepared for the cacophony that rattled my soul when we arrived with Aaron. The Collections Officers, Caeleste that handled the opening and closing of Soul Collectors cases, were the first out of their seats. Then the barrage of questions began.

“What is he doing here?”

“What happened?”

“Are you insane?”

“Do you remember what he did to us?”

“He deserves what he gets from the Shadowed.”

“What if he escapes?”

Jackson and Cooper tried to speak over them but their words were drowned by yet more inquiries.

Something tugged at my shirt and I followed the arm attached to my last Collector trainee, Dylan. His bright blue eyes peered up at me. “Why’s he back?”

“He’s going to help us find the Shadowed,” I said.

“Is he on our side again? Like Jackson?”

“No. Not like Jackson. But he is going to help us.”

Then he’s off to Recycling. I hadn’t made my point firmly enough before but Felix was certainly going to get an earful this time.

A young girl came up to Dylan, leaning close to him, and he patted her on the arm. “It’s okay, Fiona. Maggie says he’s going to help us.”

“Really?” She smoothed the shirt of her white Collecting uniform, risking a glance up at me.

Dylan looked up at me and I gave him a quick nod.

“Yeah” he confirmed smiling.

I stifled a grin. It was nice to see Dylan doing well. I’d like to think I had a hand in that, even though he had fit into the community better than I ever had.

The Guard parted as two Caeleste guided Aaron’s subdued soul out of the office.

“Where are they taking him?” I asked Jackson as he came up to me.

“They’re going to the interrogation room. Hopefully we’ll get a lead soon.”

The door to Felix’s office opened and his hulking form breezed out followed by Calliope. His bright golden eyes pinned each of us as Calliope continued on her way, ignoring us.

“You captured Aaron?” Felix directed his question to me.

“We—”

“Yes,” Jackson interrupted. “And she eliminated one of the others.”

“But—”

“Good work. I’ll need to see you in my office once we get location information from Aaron.”

“Sir,” we said in unison.

Felix started to walk away, but then turned back to fix me with his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you about him.” He nodded once and continued toward where the others had taken Aaron.

I blinked, staring at his back.

Jackson looked as stunned as I felt. “I’ve been around Felix for a long time and I’ve never heard him apologize. To anyone.”

I shrugged. “I guess there is a first for everything.”

Jackson smiled. “Let’s get out of here.”

I scanned the room that was still buzzing with excitement. “Great idea.”

When Jackson’s hand touched my lower back guiding me to the exit, his fingers sparked a fluttering sensation in my soul.

Brushing the feeling away I nudged him. “So, you weren’t kidding about being able to handle it, huh?”

He smirked and opened the door to the stairwell, signaling me to go first.

Unease churned within me. I could barely hold my own against three Shadowed, what would happen if Jackson hadn’t been there? “I need to learn to fight like that.”

“That type of fighting comes from many years of practice. Felix won’t allow trainees to go on any case alone for a while. You’ll learn in time.”

“But he took me, Jackson.” The sensation of Rat Face’s touch still lingered on my arm.

He shook his head. “That’s my fault. I shouldn’t have allowed that.”

As I pushed through the door to the outside, the sweet scent of the After enveloped my soul. “No it’s not. Stop blaming yourself for everything that happens to me.” I looked over at him, his light blue eyes staring at the ground.

Jackson smiled sadly. “You’ll understand someday.”

“Understand what?”

His lips pressed together and his eyes searched mine. “Being a Guard is one thing. But being a Guard to a Prognatum is akin to watching a part of you live a life that you don’t have control of.”

“But I thought…”

“Yes we can influence a Prognatum to keep on the right path, whatever that may be.” His voice held a hint of disdain. “But ultimately they live their own life. A mere blip in what is to be a very special life. And in all my years in service to your line, I’ve loved each and every one of them equally as if they were my family. That is until you came along.”

My chest tightened. “What—”

“Wait.” He pressed a finger against my arm, stopping me mid-step. He cupped the back of my neck with both hands, gently tilting my head upwards. A small smile appeared on his lips. “From the moment your eyes opened I knew you were special. It was as if the Caeleste had broken off a piece of my soul and molded it with yours. And it still feels that way. I’m always going to blame myself for anything that happens to you because I don’t want to lose you ever again. I’m not sure I’d be able to survive if…”

He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, but I knew what he meant. He wanted me to feel the same way he did. As much as my soul responded to him, probably a residual from our shared memories, I didn’t want to change the dynamic of our training. I wanted to get my after-life back to where it was supposed to be, with a position on the Guard. I found it amazing that any soul could feel anything other than hate for me after knowing what I did. But Jackson wanted to be with me, even after seeing the hate I possessed. Perhaps I’d be able to understand better if my memories weren’t locked away, but the mental picture of my dead family surfaced to the front of my mind. That hate hadn’t come out of nothing and I just wasn’t ready to lose myself to that hidden part of me no matter how Jackson made me feel otherwise.

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