Sex

& Intimacy

101

Upgrade your lovemaking skills now!

K.A. BAREKI

Anson Publishing

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or any means, electronic or

mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any other means of storage and retrieval

system, without permission in writing from the author.

Printed and Published by Anson Publishing,

Africa,Botswana, Box 42133, Gaborone

Email:ansonpub@gmail.com

+267 75457195

Sex & Intimacy 101

Softcover edition

Printed in 2015

Copyright Â©K.A Bareki 2016

Continental project

All scriptural quotations are from the New King James version unless otherwise indicated on

the footnotes or text.

Cover design,illustrations and text design by the Author.

Whilst every care has been taken to ascertain that this book is appropriate in terms of grammar, punctuation and linguistic excellence, the author will not be held liable for any typographic errors or any other mistakes within the already mentioned areas. Furthermore, anything in this book that is advisory can be implemented at readerâs own discretion and risk, not as advice taken from a professional in whatever area that the reader perceives.

Contents

SEX ACT

The Idea behind ââshaggingââ

SEX QUADRANT

Creating the erotic environment

FOREPLAY

Doing what the Romans do best

SEXUAL PENETRATION

Going into glory land

AFTERGLOW

Giving hope and assurance

IMPEDIMENTS

Dealing with sexual impediments

SEXUAL MENTALITY

Different views on sexuality

SEXUAL DECALOGUE

The 10 rules of sexual enjoyment

Table of Contents

 1 The sex actThe Idea behind "shagging"

 2 The sex quadrantCreating the erotic environment

 3 ForeplayDoing what the Romans do best

 4 PenetrationGoing into glory land

 5 AfterglowGiving hope and assurance

 6 Sexual impedimentsDealing with sexual impediments

 7 Sexual mentalityDifferent views on sexuality

 8 DecalogueThe 10 rules of sexual enjoyment

  Bibliography

1 The sex act

I couldnât wait to write this book, and I guess you couldnât wait to get a copy of it, and read it in secrecy. And as I wrote it, I knew a dichotomy of some sort would manifest.The book would become a toast to the death of my good reputation as a preacher, and to the growth of my involvement in candid writing. In case they havenât told you, this book is about learning how to shag someone until they experience inexplicable bliss. Itâs about learning how to give your lover the best sexual experience ever. I think we have books that talk about prevention, safe sexâor sex as a taboo. Books that talk in terms of who we shouldnât have sex with and what age we shouldnât have sex and I thus have to excuse myself from speaking of sex from a ââforbidden fruitââ spectrum. I am a preacher, and a teacher of the word of God, and I have written many books about God and his word. But this time, I present to you a book that is a sexual manual of some sort. This book is what you will need to give your lover the kind of sex she or he has never had. In fact, if you read it well, and practice being a master at sex, your lover will be dying for the next experience. You wonât have to beg for itâno, not anymore. I think it is perplexing to you that a preacher of all the people should take on the work of a sex therapist by writing a âânear pornââ book. This is why I am going to ask you for one little favor (and that should be done before you delve immensely into this sex manual). I want you to ââwear my shoesââ and feel what I felt before I sat down convinced that we need a book on sex urgently. For many years, people came to me for advice on issues pertaining to sex.Many of them had endured frustrated sex lives that had grown into full-blown divorces and had ventured into sex with prostitutes. Others were having nightmares over previous molestations while others had learned to survive the agony of boring sex for the good of matrimonial fidelity. We have prayed for some and adviced some, but to my shock, the bulk of people I met with just didnât know what it is to have sex that is not only pleasant in nature but also ââtantricââ and adventurous. Because of this, they kept searching for good sex from different people and thus were involved in what I term âserial monogamyâ. And they never found it, let alone got satisfied by exploring everybody they met. The root of this peopleâs problems was not the absence of sex, it was the failure to enjoy it with the first person they fell in love with. What would you have done if you were me? Would you have relentlessly prayed for God to lead them to wondrous sex in some miraculous way? I had people ask me if God can increase their penises, and these very people who were in search of a bigger penis were not aware that they have failed to use the small one that God had given them. These people simply needed to be taught how to have proper sex instead of being given the telephone number of a consultant who can turn that penis into a donkeyâs length or an anaconda between oneâs legs.

Then we have had cases where a pastor sexed the daylights out of a victim instead of playing his proper role of pastoring. Of recent, radio, television newspapers and social-media have been abuzz with a sexual scandal whereby a pastor is alleged to have sexed someone under the claim that this person would be healed through being sexed. Obviously, the pastor is wrong to claim ââsexual healingââ is at stake when in fact he is just manipulating the person for his own good. In my own view, the pastor is sexually dissatisfied and preys on his members. Despite the fact that he gets sex in such nefarious ways, he is a hungry man who needs to have fulfilling sex and that might just remove the sex pest syndrome in him.

But that aside, sometimes shy women, who are tired of their sex lives due to the level in which they have become horrific instead of terrific, start wishing they had a sexual relationship with the pastor and can seduce him. We always are perplexed if not horrified when a pastor falls prey to a sex scandal, but hardly for a second wonder if the ââvictimizedââ is merely a horny individual who hasnât had a decent shag for years and has allowed herself to become the pastorâs pancake only to turn around to play victim and say ââpastor, how could you do this to me?ââ Now, letâs not try to find out who is the witch or wizard in any ââpastorââ and ââvictimââ issues, coz some of the people we call pastors are not even pastors and some of the people we feel sympathetic towards are not even victims. Itâs just a complicated sex game. Months ago, a ââpastorââ asked his congregants to give him a blow-job from the pulpitâand they did! Another ââpastorââ,is alleged to be kissing womenâs butts to give them ââgood luck.ââ They line up naked by the beach and he kisses their bums! Are those true pastors? That may take some time to answer, but I am sure they are sex hungry individuals wearing church garments. So, those ââpastorsââ are not mad people but sex hungry people gone crazy.

On the flip-side, the so-called victim could also be lonely, unsexed and naive. So, why not write a book on sex, particularly one that promotes sexual enjoyment instead of spending time praying against demons when people are merely experiencing sexual hunger masquerading as spiritual confusion? If our society experiences acute food shortages, there will be thieves raiding shops at gunpoint. There will be tricky people who try to swindle you out of your hard earned money or groceries. The problem will simply emanate from a hunger problem. I believe today, our men and women are hungry for good sex. They donât know how to enjoy it to their satisfaction. Thatâs the crisis in todayâs world. Despite the hunger, we are secretive. In Africa, sex is a pleasant taboo, such that people secretly enjoy sex or fail at it without ever saying it. Rightly put by me, when it comes to sex, we are all introverts. The most talkative guy cannot look at you bullâs eye and tell you ââMan, I just donât know how to have sex.ââ Ego, tradition and religion just wouldnât let âem. Let me not even talk about women, coz a great deal of them are just sexually shy and secretive to the core? You have to be very close to a woman to hear her most confidential views on sex. Which is why I believe my cousin was close enough to me, to open up on the issue of sex...She told me without mincing words that most men have the tendency of wanting sex on the first day of dating. She accused them of being eyes-red horny on the first date. Thatâs true, but the problem with a lot of us men is that we just havenât learned anything about sex enough to know when to ask for it or when the fruit is ripe. Whatâs worse is that only a countable number of us can have envied sex. We turn to react basing on our erection yet without basic sexual knowledge. We are easily driven by the inclination to have sex without the intellectual comprehension of what it truly is.

Then thereâs the child in every homestead who has to learn sex all by himself/herself and develops into a sexually naÃ¯ve young man or woman simply because our communities are more secretive about sex than they are about a computer password. Every year, we turn young people who know nothing about passionate and skillful sex into husbands and wives. The result is that they will experiment and if luck is luck they might do what is expected by nature. Can you imagine anything more horrible than people who reach sexual climax on coincidence? We donât expect our kids to excel at school by coincidence but we expect them to know how to have sex when they have grown up without having learned anything about it...We teach our kids how to eat, defecate and even how to walk, but where do they learn issues of sexual intimacy? I have met men who lament about how their wives are not sexual. Some currently have secret sex partners on the side, they are secretly going to notorious G-west, Middle-star, Hilbrow and brothels to buy prostitutes, simply because their wives are no longer sexual enough to satisfy them. They complain that their wives have grown fat, unsexy and have become more of mothers instead of the sexy Sharon Stone who used to put up a hot act in their bedrooms. Different people from all walks of life are sexually frustrated and end up having to resort to porn for sexual lessons and consolation. Women havenât escaped this frustration, thatâs why we hear time and again of an extremely rich woman ââhappilyââ married who dates a taxi driver on the side, books a room and has sex with him. That should tell you a lot about this womanâs rich husband. Your first guess should be that his sex therapy is in short supply. A lot of people, Christians included, watch porn behind closed doors, but porn itself at times is no more than a bedroom movie made out of fantasy to make money because it just might not teach one the craft of sex like this book you are reading. Porn directors hire models to scream and pretend they are enjoying sex when the whole thing is just pseudo sex and some of the positions are according to one sex therapist and movie director ââ made to suit the videographerâs camera.ââ In other words, porn is designed to make money out of selling naked fantasies and not necessarily to teach us how to have exhilarating sex.

Then there is the issue of sex decline in females around the age of meno-pause. There are faithful men whose lives have almost broken down because their wives are no longer sexually active. And these wives are giving a dozen of excuses for not blasting their menâs libido driven hunger. So these men donât know what to do, they have tried everything but their wives have just locked their thighs. Menopause does have situations where a woman loses interest in sex. If the duo donât know what is happening, their lives can be a sexual nightmare. Talk about men whose erection is swallowed by sugar diabetes. What do we do? Do we pray for them? So my friend, what would you have done if you were me? Would you not have written a book that alleviates the problems that originate from poor sex lives? I have paid a big price to write this book. Family members were not excited about it. Fellow pastors criticized me for it. I believe Journalists are going to nail my reputation to make a quick buck out of my boldness. Christians who have been calling me a pagan will upon the release of this book be celebrating my fate. They will say how much of a devilâs child I am. But if you were me, what would you have done? I can no longer afford to be a prisoner of conscience. I would rather die like Oliver Tambo than live as long as Ayatollah Khomeini when the truth lies hidden from many. I guess now you get the reason why I had to write this book despite my ââsanctifiedââ calling. Just because I am a preacher, doesnât mean I should be a ââsanctimonious hypocrite.ââ The world today is looking for people who will face challenges of the day without shame. People who will correct issues and not apologize for that. So, letâs begin the sex lesson that will soon cost me my reputation, but you have to remember that I did this for you. I was just trying to help you to learn how to have the kind of sex that your lover will order from you again and again, the same way you have always preferred the same pizza company. I am just trying to teach you something that no man or woman has ever dreamt you would one day know so explicitly. In fact, your lover is not expecting it from you. But whatâs in the offing? I am giving you a chapter on the sex act, sex quadrant, foreplay lessons, sex positionsâat least 101 of them (illustrated) plus more...

So, you should be expecting to learn about having good sex, and like I said, I am going to teach you just that. This is a sex manual. Itâs just like a car manual. Before you start learning how to drive you have to learn how the car generally behaves. So, before I teach you how to sex a woman or a man excellently and passionately. I am going to show you how both genders are designed sexually. Okay, who is first? Ladies first? Ok lets do men first. Hey, here is a favorable deal: Well, mmm, look, lets do both of them at the same time. Before you deliver ââfat-cake hotââ sex, you need to know how a man and a woman are structured from a mental and physical point of view. We have to look at the nature of both sexes (psychologically, sexually and physically). So, donât skip this because itâs part of learning how to have epic performance in the bedroom. Itâs high-time you had good sex ,donât you think? Itâs high time we stopped having many kids that need school fees, get low grades and are generally naughty and yet came through a short one night stand. We need to be sexually astute and satisfied. We need to alleviate problems caused by failing to have a good ââshagââ from society. But letâs start the bonking lesson here...and even if your Christian conscience tells you that you will learn this when youâre married, go on reading. You are not going to know how to have proper sex a few hours into marriage during your honeymoon or instantly after reading this book. You will need to keep on thinking about what I taught you in order to be good at it.

(1) Gender differences

We have often heard people, particularly men say, ââwomen; you canât live with them and you canât live without them.ââ One woman used to say, ââmen are dogs and women are snakes.ââ Word has it that men are dogs because no matter what you give your dog, it will still harass the neighborâs dustbin or trip over its clean plate only to eat the food you so intently dished for it from the ground. This saying means that men are seen as greedy devils whom despite being given ââgood sex and loveââ by a faithful wife, will afterwards help himself to a prostitute. Women on the other hand are according to that statement known for seducing men to love them and help them, thereafter attacking their helper, mercilessly dumping men after exploiting them hereafter pouncing on the next victim. They say a snake if you should find it in the cold, unable to move, and then take it to the fireplace to warm its cold-blooded being, itâs going to bite you after it has warmed up. The snake is thus compared to women. While it is clear that these statements come from people who have grown tired and frustrated with gender differences and relationship nightmares, I wish all people could understand each other instead of resorting to hopeless conclusions that do not have an atom of truth.

While writing this book, I went to ask my neighbor what she thinks of men and sex. I normally donât confine my research to church, especially when I am dealing with a problem that affects everyone. So I went to my neighbor, a socialite and occasional drinker. She was painfully honest as she sat there gazing at me with that shroud look on her face that says ââI am not going to give you an answer that soothes your churchy background .ââ Then her face expressed her absence as she thought deeply in protracted silence about men and the question asked. She lit her cigarette, took one long puff and said to me (as smoke gushed out of her mouth and nostrils) that ââmen are people who donât attach much to sex, they can just fuck for the sake of fucking.ââ Whewww! Now, I didnât say that, she did, so donât throw this book away yet. Donât even accuse me of profanity... She went on to say ââmen are simple creatures, its easy to read them as a woman, they are not into details, but they are very decisive and love to hide their feelings.ââ Then she said something I have heard many women say, which is that ââmen are like babies.ââ Now, I have also heard men, and many of them for that matter, saying that ââwomen are like babiesââ. This shouldnât shock you because lovers often call each other ââbabe.ââ Nowadays its âbaeâ.

I heard that a lady was breast-feeding her child in a taxi. She kept threatening the child by saying that if she continued playing and not sucking her breasts for milk, she will give them to the man next to her. As she kept holding her ballooned breasts filled with milky delight for the child, the man next to her (a typical stranger) kept looking lustfully at the juicy breasts.The baby wasnât sucking them breasts. So, mother threatened the baby. âIf you donât suck them,am giving them to uncleâ.After the woman gave the fifth threat, this man, asked how many times the woman was going to threaten the child and not execute the threat. I laughed, and wondered whether thatâs what we mean when we say men are like babies. Do they need the very things that the baby needs?Yes! Grown up men, suck breasts. Indeed men are like babies, and in a very literal way for that matter. But according to men, itâs the other way round:Women are babies. They are ââunpredictableââ and ââstressful.ââ and so confusing that even God doesnât understand them. Thatâs what they say...

The other day I was traveling with this old palâa taxi driver who normally takes me around Gabz. Then he saw a ring on my finger and asked me, ââso how is your wife?ââ I saw the look on his face, and that he wanted to share some ââold man secretsââ with me. So, I just rhetorically responded, ââeeer..she is so so, eish mdala, you know our women...ââ what followed was chuckles as if to say ââI knew it young-man,there are always issues.ââ Then he says to me, ââI have my old woman too, and I have given her everything a woman could want , now she wants to have the little money I make out of this taxi.ââ ââWhy would she do that?ââ I asked with that puzzled face and African wonder posture, holding my chin while concurrently folding my arms. But the old man was not at all looking my direction. He was looking at the road like a devoted driver and probably listening attentively to the pain his old wife causes him. He seemed to be comforting his hurt self with a church hymn sang almost in silence. Then he says to me ââeish, my wife âke mathataâ, she troubles me, and wonât give me sex. She thinks I am a fool, but I have found a new sex mate, and I wonât tell her that as much as she has stopped being intimate with me and wonât say a word...ââAt that moment, his statement deeply hit me, especially because I am a preacher and he doesnât know it. To hear somebody confessing deliberate adultery like that haunts me the way a zebra is troubled by seeing a ferocious lion. We took a few turns into simple but complicated Gaborone streets, then he dropped me by the anticipated destination. ââ sharp Mdala...ââ I said, and he waved driving away and disappearing into the dust which his Japanese import motor car had created. I could not concentrate on his heart-felt wave. Instead as he drove away, my heart was reeling in shock at a statement so astonishing yet said casually. It dawned on me again that the world is sick and I need to write a book that can heal it. Just the week prior, I was talking to a very close friend of mine. Then he told me about his sex life. He told me candidlyâand I think is because we are close, he said ââwomen in your country seem not to know a thing about sex. They prefer switching off the lights until itâs too dark for us to even look into each otherâs eyeballs. Then ignorant bonking takes place. After that dark encounter, thereâs no feedback. They just wonât tell you whether the sex was good or bad. Commenting about sex to them is a no-go areaââ This man defends his opinion by suggesting that the idea of switching off lights is so common that Juju boy, a local artist in Botswana, has written the song, hurt me,with the mention of ââ leboneââ which means ââlight or lamp,ââ and the artist hinting that he wants to see his lover. He thinks the musician is complaining against the local mentality of switching off lights before sex. Is he?

I thought itâs only men who often feel that their sex lives are as bitter as an aspirin until I spoke to one lady who used to be my classmate in those far gone years when we were kids ââdoingââ elementary schooling. We did talk typical ex-classmate talk which revolves around history. Then she talked about her kids and her man. Afterwards, I asked her the shocker question...ââso, how is the sex?ââ She was immediately in stress-land and releasing the cortisol hormone, yet she blatantly said ââHeish, not good at all, but what can I do? I am a woman, if I tell him about how the sex sucks and how we can improve it, he will say I am a bitch.ââ I was reminded of how in one of our talk shows, a woman said without mincing words that a great deal of men are reputable for pouncing on women without foreplay. Just after brief kissing which cannot even compete with your puppyâs passionate lick of its food bowl, they already think the snake must go out to play. They say in just a minute, the pants are down, and they want the vaginal sliding door to lead them to gloryland. These short tempered brothers who have no idea what it is to romance a woman and bring her to a turn-on level, have ruined the bedroom and the reputation of men. Men, especially here in Africa (though not all of them) are domineering, traditional, naive and yet sexually insane. They love it but they have no idea what a woman thinks and how she feels. And our women, who have grown tired of boring sex are faking climax. They are screaming like a person encapsulated by pleasure when in fact they just want the man to be doneâor to come, if thatâs the ââbig Idea.ââ I hope this day as you read this book, your curiosity has been aroused. If you are a man, I hope you now want to learn how to sex the right way. If you are a woman by now, the damage caused by sexless homes has caused you to want your man to have the kind of sex that will make him think of only you when it comes to sex. Itâs time you became jealous enough to think of everything to do for your man to be satisfied enough to not want to know what lies between another womanâs thighs. I believe Mr man, that you should be competent enough to avoid making your lady live with you out of tolerance and loyalty. Yes, women love hot sex, but not more than affection. Sex without romance to them is no better than a vegetarian meal without vegetables. Itâs crazy. Its not even bad sex, its no sex at all.... Itâs just the rubbing of genitalia.

Now to help you out on this issue, I am not going to go straight into teaching you how to have sex. There are some vital things I am going to teach you that are fundamental. A great deal of books teach about bonking,show sex positions and leave you to them. But sex positions mean nothing if you donât know sex basics. Learning sex positions before getting the basics is like learning punches and kicks before you learn fighting stances and conditioning your body. Itâs like learning how to pray before you learn how to be a Christian. And this is why we are often taught, ââseek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all this things will be added unto you.ââ(Matthew 6:33). Kunfu masters often provoke their students to anger because a student wants to spend all the zeal in learning how to fight. The master wants to teach his student the principles, but the student insists on fighting methods. I was often impatient when my guitar instructor wanted me to learn chords while I wanted to learn songs. He had tried to explain this to me in many words that chords come before songs, however, he was overcome by weak speech. He could have just said to me in King James rendition that ââseek ye first the Chords and all these songs shall be added unto you.ââ And with sex is the same thing, we have to seek first the basics and all these things shall be added to us. To have good sex you have to know things, which are not essentially sexual but part of sex, so that you can build on that to produce exhilarating orgasmic experience. For those of you who think that sexual pleasure is sin...why do you think God made the body and made it sexual? Why did he make nerves and parts of the body that are pleasurable to touch if he didnât want us to enjoy sexual pleasure? God deliberately made Eve sexually attractive and he deliberately made Adam horny and eager to have her. There is no evil in wanting your man and wanting him so badly. There is no wrong in a man wanting to squeeze his lover and sex her till the cops come knocking. This desire is natural and God designed. Mr, you will find the breast of your woman attractive and thatâs a natural thing. If there is nothing wrong with eating food, then there is nothing wrong with having legitimate and pleasurable sex. In the very bible, that we love to make too righteous for sex teaching, the woman in Song of Songs says to her man that ââ may my beloved come into his garden and eat of its choice fruits!ââ (Songs of songs 4:16). She is talking about sex and there is no need to hide it .The garden mentioned herein is probably the one down there (that amazon forest).The other verse says to you, and that is if you are a man who likes to have good sex, that ââAs a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her loveââ,(Proverbs 5:19). So these breasts must satisfy you. I donât care if you lick them or just put your face on them and enjoy the 37 Â° (degrees celsius) body temperature.

Sex is gooooood. That is why Paul encouraged lovers to not sexually abscond from each other (1 Corinthians 7:5), and the same Paul discouraged following the desires of the flesh. The desire of the body is having sex with your husband but the desire of the flesh is adultery. Many of us Pastors think that sex with our wives is sinful. We may not say so in words, but our actions speak volumes. We devote more time to prayer than sex, refuse to have good sex before preaching only to pounce on young girls at church. We end up dissatisfied and the result is we are seduced by women who think they know how to give a man the kind of sex he has always dreamt of. But wait till you marry her, and you will wish you stuck to your wife. God gave you a wife and you wasted her,ââFor why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?ââ (Proverbs 5:20). The woman of your matrimonial dreams is a beautiful person. You should be able to say to her, ââthe curves of your thighs are like jewels, The work of the hands of a skillful workmanââ,(Songs of Songs 7:1).I am quoting from the bible dear...Admire her and stop that ââpastor is righteousââ nonsense that makes you quiet when you should admire her. Ladies, you must know the feeling by now of being kissed by someone you love. You should remember that it feels sweet and compels one to say ââHis mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, And this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem!ââ (Songs of songs 5:16).Solomon was talking straight sexual attraction when he says ââYour navel is a rounded goblet; It lacks no blended beverage. Your waist is a heap of wheat Set about with liliesââ,(Songs of Songs 7:2). Sex is great and never be too Christian to admit it. The guy in prison, who hasnât seen his wife or girlfriend in years, gets my point. You who is outside the prison doors should stop playing church and give your lover something good and right for bodily edification. God made us male and Female with such distinction that men are not the same as women. But unlike poles attract...

(a) Psychological differences

The key to understanding men and women in terms of their sexuality warrants that one should know the psychological nature of each. Men and women differ so much that they are not the same in their comprehension of detail, tasking, decision, emotion, fashion, and general orientation. Until you know these things about the two genders, it will be hard to know a thing about relationship, let alone having intimate and crazy sex.

(1) Detail and memory

In the first 8 weeks, every fetal brain is intrinsically female. But there is that chemical reaction in the brain that eventually erodes the boyâs ability to have a brain like girlâs. Scientifically speaking, womenâs brains are different from those of their male counterparts. Itâs simply natural that womenâs brains have a bigger memory than that of males. Women are search engines filled with information available upon request in their brains. My own mother often calls me from the United Kingdom where she works and she talks and talks relating every little bit of detail of things that occurred to her.My wife has a very similar nature. When I ask her how was the movie she watched by Taylor Perry, she starts going into details and already I would have to interject and say ââbaby, just give me the story in brief.ââ My aunt, grandmother and all the women I have known go into detail about any story they relate. As a preacher, I help women solve a lot of issues just as I help men. But women always need more time to tell me their problems because they are people of detail. And this comes naturally to women because they have 11% more neurons than men. Their memory hub in the brain is larger than that of men. Women are better at expressing emotion than men. Thatâs why I believe Sidney Sheldon writes beautiful novels rich in descriptive detail. Again I suspect more women read novels compared to men because novels are mostly about relationships, like the recent fifty shades of grey.

My daughter is as I write this book, only three years old. Her brother is already 6 and ââthreateningââ to be 7 years. One time I thought of speaking to my son but he was busy concentrating on his play. She perceived that I was about to say something, and she did alarm her brother that ââdaddy wants to talk to you. ââ But I had not even said a word. How did she know that I was about to say something to her brother? Females are much more able to recognize expressions and to express themselves more than males. This ability to decode facial expressions and to interpret feelings makes them natural psychologists and I respect them for that.

Women, unlike men, care about whether the cost of a fabric softener is $9.85 or $9.95. But to men, those prices are nothing but the same thing as long as there is $9 in the price-tag. Ask me about itâI am a man and I have struggled to understand why my wife is often caught up in moving from shop to shop looking for slightly cheaper tomatoes. That thing just pisses me off. There is no anointing in men that helps them compete with women when it comes to obsession with detail. Thanks to women coz their obsession with detail is causing manufacturers to be a bit more careful with how they make their products. A woman will return a yoghurt back to the shop without shame if she finds something ââsmallââ that she doesnât like about it as long as she believes the retailer is liable for that dislike. My wife and other women I know can do this and I think itâs a female talent!

You donât know how limited men are until you start studying women. You wonât know how incapable women are until you look into the lives of men with utter curiosity. Women are people of detail, in friendships, prices, clothes and speech. But men donât give a hoot whether something is slightly cheaper or expensive, what matters to them is convenience. The convenient store is loaded with men who want to buy cooked sausage, grilled chicken and fries or burgers but that to women is a deliberate waste of money. Thanks to men because without them, restaurants would close down.

What does a womanâs natural inclination to detail mean? It means she will listen closely to your words as a man and will hold you accountable for every last bit of word you say. Not because she is strict but because she simply has a good memory. Thatâs why some men lament and feel that ladies are unforgiving. She is not unforgiving but simply has a bigger memory. So, sex will be sex but to her how you go about the whole thing will matter. It will matter as to whether your armpits smell or you got cologne on. It will also matter as to whether you kiss passionately or just to get it over with. She will be watching, feeling and sensing every detail of your actions. You are under very immense scrutiny. As you pull your trouser down, donât think her sleepy eyes are not seeing you. Womenâs love for detail simply implies that sexing one must be a careful well-anticipated move, romantic, flooded with a detailed display of affection and passion. Every part of the process must be observed. No short cuts and rushing to do ââjiggy jiggy.ââ God made women the way they are deliberately. Itâs high time you made love to your spouse, consciously planning every last bit of your action, being natural yet romantic. Remember she has a bigger memory than you, and if you are boring, she will remember it long enough after you have forgotten.

Do you know how your woman will know when you are cheating?: âDetail. Men overlook details but the devil is in the details. Your lady will know through the very small things you overlook that you have been cheating. The smile, attention, fragrance, receipts,screaming a girlâs name in dream, call habits and small comments and likes on social media. Thatâs why itâs better not to cheat and think you will get away with it. How does a woman still remember that you promised to take her out to that burger and chicken restaurant when you have long forgotten?:âmemory. Women are power tanks coz they have 11% more neurons than men. ââLadies, science has proven what youâve been saying all along: your manâs memory is worse than yours. Not only that, but their brains are smaller, at least the part that controls memories. âThatâs right, thatâs what the data says,â said Dr. Clifford Jack of the Mayo Clinic. âWe see worse memory and worse brain volumes in men than women from [age] 40s onward.â (CNN). Over the weekend as I thought about this, I felt inferior because according to the mirror, ââIn a report for a psychology journal, Glasgow University researchers found that although both sexes struggled to juggle priorities, men suffered more on average and were slower than women.ââ

(2) Task

Women can iron, cook and baby-sit at the same time. Itâs called ââmulti- tasking.ââ Womenâs brains afford them the ability to execute tasks that need to be repeated over and over and to also do tasks that are different in nature at the same time. You should by now be able to remember how female bank tellers have been good at helping you the last time you went to the bank.

So if you are a guy, donât be shocked to think that while you stop at everything to talk to your lady, she might be on the phone emotionally communicating with you while at the same time doing everything else. Multitasking is powerful right? But not when it comes to sex. According Petra Zebroff, Ph.D, ââSex pleasure requires undivided attention to work properly. When attention moves off the erotic, sexual problems can ariseââ the sage doctor goes on to explain that ââwomen, with their multi-tasking brains, are the most guilty of not giving sexual pleasure the undivided attention it needs. But it affects women differently. Women are twice more likely to encounter slow arousal and delayed or absent orgasm than men are.ââ

The homework for women, whose multitasking brilliance has become a curse, is to focus more on sexual pleasure by guiding their wild minds into the activity at stake. Men have to worry less about a multitasking brain because thatâs not their nature. But financial stress, loss or grief of any sort has the propensity to make men unable to concentrate during sex. Lack of control over oneâs mind can result in delayed or premature orgasm.

Sex researcher, Dekker, is said by Petra to have ââfound when a woman turns her attention to how she feels during a sexual act â including lubrication or increased blood flow (feeling of fullness in the genitals) â she will feel more turned onââ. I think a man who is good at his game has to assume the duty of stimulating concentration in his lady and that will even take touching and speaking his erotic language to her, to take her mind out of her chores and the things that constantly disturb her. For the first time in her multi-tasking brainâs life, she will not be thinking about the fact that she forgot baby bobâs clothes on the washing line.

Men are great at manipulating objects to achieve certain movements, the same way Michael Schumacher was good at being the speed ââdemonââ in his racing car, while David Bekham is known for his brilliant way of scoring balls that have a stunning curve movement. So the reason womenâs football matches are not preferable to menâs famous world cup matches lies a whole lot more on natural brilliance. Men are generally better at technical things like mechanics, engineering and stuff. And I am not saying women canât do any of those things, most of the time, men are better... Women on the other hand are better at noticing if anything is misplaced. Candy is well able to notice that a plate is missing in the kitchen compared to her husband. Women demonstrate a better recall of details than men. A study has observed that women do better at manual tasks that require precision like cooking, plaiting and putting pegs on the washing line. Women, it is observed, do better than men in mathematical calculations. Men on the other hand, do better than women on tests that require mathematical reasoning. According to sex differences in the Brain, by Doreen Kimura ââ women perform better than men in both verbal memory (recalling words from lists or paragraphs) and verbal fluency (finding words that begin with a specific letter), there was a large difference in memory ability but men tend to perform better than women on certain spatial tasks. They do well on tests that involve mentally rotating an object or manipulating it in some fashion, such as imagining turning this three-dimensional object. Women tend to perform better than men on tests of perceptual speed in which subjects must rapidly identify matching items for example, pairing the house on the far left with its twinââ

Why am I telling you this?:â Because you need to know your man or woman well to give them a good screw. You need to know the personâs natural ability and their shortcomings. Apart from that, you cannot have great sex any longer that you can drive a merc without knowing its technical specifications and operations. Male brains have 8% more grey matter, while womenâs brains have 12% more white matter. This means that men are (generally) better at linear progression of thoughts while women are better at gathering disparate areas of information to make decisions, a non-linear function (Paraphrase). I think God deliberately made men and women the way they are not to compete but to complement each other. Whenever we complain about the way women or men are, we are simply suggesting that we could have done a greater job at creating humans. Women are into details but men look at the bigger picture. We need both detail and the bigger picture. Women are relaters and men are visionaries, goal and achievement driven. Relationship and vision are important. Look at any woman, observe her keenly and you will realize that her weaknesses are manâs strength and her strengths are manâs weaknesses. Thatâs why evolution doesnât make sense to me. If you are to look at a penis or vagina, can you honestly tell me that you would still be confident enough to believe in evolution? Charles Darwin must have been crazy...The vagina and the penis donât seem to represent any coincidence. It looks to me like a maker deliberately designed these things. Itâs a perfect fit, if not a perfect match!

(3)decision

Do I need to tell an observant man that women tend to be spontaneous decision makers who are not stable? Even if a woman is fast at deciding, she can soon change her decisionâjust after making it. Women are gifted in exhausting the patience of men especially when shopping. Women can tryout 10 jeans, only to buy one. A man almost instantly decides to buy a pair of shoes, hardly 3 minutes later, he is at the counter. If you want to see the real difference between a man and a woman just take them to Wal-Mart and see how each behave. My wife used to annoy the hell out of me until I realized she is like that by design.ââHe created them male and female, and blessed them and called them Mankindââ,(Genesis 5:2). Is your lady supposing that it is reasonable to go around the shops comparing lettuce prices? Yes, its good to buy observing prices and making good decisions inspired by trivial differences but in addition to that, we have to understand that Eve is wired to function like that. The male and female thing is a God design. Even gays canât help but have male and female. If they are both male, one will play female. Males make bold spontaneous decisions and sometimes take precious time to make decisions due to thinking. We think things through. Women think we are slow, no we are not. We are thoughtful. Ladies enjoy menâs decisive power a lot except when itâs time to buy shoes! While writing this book I thought it wise to ask my wife what she thinks of men compared to women when it comes to making a decision. ââWomen make decisions that are linked to a whole lot of thingsââ, she says ââthey will buy a pair of shoes, comparing it to other shoes, looking at color, style, and many other options, but men make decisions that are hardly linked to many factors. They simply get into a shop, make a minuteâs worth of comparison and already they are paying for their choiceââ, she concludes, adamantly viewing that as eccentric.

Though some of the men want to appear very spiritual about the kind of woman they chose. A manâs choice borders on sexual appeal. Itâs not lust to be attracted as a man to your woman and fantasize about having sex with her. Itâs perfectly normal. Remember, men are generally weak at recognizing and recalling details. But a woman will link her choosing a man to a whole lot of things. His cologne, appearance, voice, eye contact shape, height, lips, the way he touches things, his car and achievements. You can tell from the list of things that the decision to marry him did not come over-night. Women thus make somewhat quick yet very calculated decisions attached to a lot of things and men make slow often-risky decisions hinged on one or two solid facts after critical thinking. I am a man, and I love the way men make decisions and donât like taking a lifetime to make small decisions due to focusing on petty things, but I also love the way my wife thinksâAlthough itâs petty, it has saved us from a lot of problems that my eyes were too impatient to notice. But still, I prefer my way. I am naturally wired to draw spontaneous conclusions after thinking, like turning a motorcycle in speed. Men are brilliant in making ââquickââ smart decisions in war, racing, courtroom and wherever there is rivalry.

Had it not been for womenâs âpettinessâ, most products would have been worse than they look today. Mary Marther, A renowned cognitive neurologist at Southern California university together with Nichole R. Lighthall, a neurological scientist from Duke University did some experiments that proved that women and men were fairly equal at decision making but when both genders are under stress, the study observed that menâs decisive excellence declined while women continued to make better decisions under stress and duress. A woman can decide on which diapers are better for her baby when her boyfriend has left her.

Enter K.A Bareki, when I am stressed, I simply take a break and go into a cave of silence, I will return with the solution coz in the meantime I know my brain needs space. Do you have a problem with that? Well then you have a problem with God, coz he made me that way. But we make good decisions believe me, sister. One time I was going somewhere. Then I thought it better to wear my boots with a jean and a formal shirt. I just wanted to look like a young vibrant preacher who still has his looks together. So I took them boots. But my wife thought I had concluded on the boots too soon. ââAre you wearing those?ââ, she asked. I gave her the look that says ââwhy waste time?ââ, to which she verbally responded ââbut why donât you compare them with other pairs and see which one would be great?ââ Immediately I thought, âânow thatâs typical of Eve. Why the heck should I compare my boot with other shoes? I want to wear boots and thatâs it.ââ My wife obviously compared me to other guys before she chose me. I was just looking at her. I had no girl catalogue. So we are really different and that sparks war all the time for immature couples. I hardly prefer to think the way my wife thinks. But behind the corner, and in secrecy, I know she is smart and often makes better choices .She is a good chooser.Yeah, she chose me. Talk about ego. I am not going to let myself down in a book by telling you that I am less smart. No way. Maybe I am even better. Yeah, whatever..

The other day, my wife and I had accompanied an ill woman to her doctor. Along the way, my wife and this lady were trying to decide on what to do since they had enquired and were informed that the said doctor is not in. They were just thinking about other options and other doctors. They were deciding like typical women. Heish! You have no idea how I was feeling when two women were acting like Eve in a shoe shop. I was wondering why they donât decide for us to go to flipping doctor B since doctor A is not in, and stand by that decision. After 10 years of marriage, I am still not used to this decision conundrum. Eish! Is there a man somewhere who understands my point? Is any woman reading sex and intimacy 101? Can I get an amen? Haaahaaaahh khi khi khi...Get this one thing straight: men and women are different in making decisionsâPeriod! That makes them different in having sex.

(4) Emotion

Emotion is the part we all probably know about men and women. Men tend to be reserved and will deal with emotions privately while women burst out and reveal their emotional issues to those closer to them. But men view bursting out emotionally as a sign of weakness, and will generally go into a time of lone ranging in their cave until they are clear about the problem and how to solve it.

The crisis in relationships is that women tend to want to treat men like other women and want them to open up, and this for what I know, is as irritating as having a fly trapped in your underwear . Women a great deal of times want men to share their problems with them and open up. But men, donât quiet appreciate that any more than they recognize that as being bothered. Imagine me for example. I am a man. Not only a man but one who has written profound books that affect thousands and thousands of people. But even after all such achievements I am no superman. I still go into my cave when I am depressed. I donât agree with those who think society has taught men not to cry out loud about their problems. The way men approach problems is not driven by socialization more than it is driven by nature. Men are naturally not women and we donât have to blame their society for not teaching them to expresses their grievances instead of caving in. Men are men and it matters less as to whether they are from France,Vietnam or Monterey Peninsula.

Men love to be appreciated for mowing the lawn, providing for the family, driving to Capetown safely and sexing the hell out of their wives. But women seldom do realize that men appreciate and need such praise. And it feels childish (I suppose) for a man to ask his woman to praise him. So, he will never directly ask for it. And even if he is praised sometimes he might find it childish to show that he is happy about it. As much as a woman loves to be admired for looking beautiful, men equally love to be admired for having great sex. He loves the prostitute for making him feel like a real man and engaging him sexually. His wife on the contrary just lies there like the log of a dead oak tree. You just try admiring your guy for giving it to you the way he should and he will love you for that. Men generally view respect and praise as love. And I think Paul must be appreciated for noting that ââ husbands ought to love their own wives ...ââ,(Ephesians 5:28). I have sat with many couples who were going through emotional unrest and the problem was in most cases that the man no longer showed love to his lady. Women a great deal of the time demand to be loved and men demand to be revered and respected. Paul suggested, ââSo husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself ââ,(Ephesians 5:28). To cheat your wife is to her a lack of love for her. But men say that a woman who cheats on them not only lacks love but lacks respect. A woman will get hurt by a man who criticizes the way she looks, but a man gets hurt when you tell him that his penis is smaller hence not pleasant enough or that he drives worse than his son drives his toys. That just wrecks a manâs life if not his entire self-esteem, which seems to be rooted in his penis. Men fantasize about sex more than the average woman thinks. It is almost obvious that this book will end in the hands of more men than women. Why?:âBecause men love sex and sexing, and not even Christianity is going to alter that. Women no doubt want love from men but men want respect or submission and most of all sex. Paul says ââ the wife see that she respects her husbandââ,(Ephesians 5:33). But this respect lesson for women is not as new as Paul the apostle. It is as old as Sarah because she often called her husband Abraham my ââlordââ (1 Peter 3:6).Why arenât women of today wise enough to ââfoolââ their men by lavishing them with respect and sex?

Now, women heal their hurts by talking (so-called venting out), by crying and doing all sorts of emotional things. While writing this book, I was called by a couple in conflict. They wanted advice on what to do about their unending brawls. The woman felt that the manâs love for her fell short and she cried:âHow typical of women... The man sat there, looking distant, unfazed and wore the serious look of a bulldog while he expressed how this woman would not respect him and sometimes returned to her ex-lover despite their relationshipâs existence. The woman cried, the man was just angry ( Perhaps too angry to cry). Men become angry and know very little about grieving, shedding tears and being sad the feminine way. Thatâs why men easily commit suicide compared to women. There is that aggression in men which if not guided is catastrophic. It has nothing to do with abuse but with nature. Concerning health issues, a doctor was addressing a certain menâs sector meeting in which I was present and did enquire as to why men do not seem to take medical issues seriously to the point of neglecting health checks. He pointed out how shocking it is to consider that women can hardly see their private parts well since the vagina is exactly down there (underneath, so to speak). But compared to men, women take care of their private parts well. Men on the other hand are fortunate to have private organs that protrude and can be well seen and inspected, yet men easily die of prostate cancer when they can so easily inspect their sexual organs and report to the hospital in due season. Instead of going to the clinic for medical attention, a typical man would rather ask his friend at the bar what to do with his itchy penis. To which his drunken friend might prescribe an ointment. But how do you get prescription from a drunk man?

When a man goes to clinic to see a doctor, he has probably received prescriptions from the bar, football pitch,golf course and all kinds of male hangouts. The fact that he is in a queue at the hospital probably means that if his penis was itchy, this time it is âârotten ââ, extremely painful or so loose that its about to fall off. When a man gets to clinic, he refuses to say the problem to a male doctor who by the way should be well able to understand him. If you are doctor, you probably can relate to this. A guy walks into to the consultancy room. He claims he doesnât know the problem but claims there is a problem. You start doing vital signs and expect to find the problem yourself coz he wonât open up to a man like him. To your shock, his ass is wounded. He has probably had gay sex, is bleeding and torn. You ask him how his ass ended up like that and he says he doesnât know and just ââfoundââ it like that. Probably there is never a time you feel annoyed about a patientâs denial like this moment. Men are not just shy about such matters but even being sick of anything ranging from such innocent issues as flu to issues as bad as defaulting on STI treatment. A woman when she is afraid can dare walk in to a pharmacy crying and says ââyesterday I had unprotected sex with a stranger, do you guys have any pills to help me block the virus, I am scaredââ. That ability to open up has saved a lot of women.

So this doctor friend I mentioned earlier on was wondering why men would rather die than act promptly about sickness. Why wonât they be open to someone with a penis like them? I must admit that as he asked, I felt that men were just being silly; to me there was simply no excuse for such risky behavior. But an old man seated unnoticeably at the back of the crowd which the doctor was facilitating lifted his hand, was allowed to speak and said, ââwe were taught not to be afraid and that real man donât cry or fall sick. I remember as a little boy, I hurt myself and had a painful wound. Grandma told me not to cry or go to clinic. She told me to rub cattle dung on it, walk tall and that a man must never show signs of weakness. ââ

True, part of us was taught to not show ââweaknessââ by society and today men die more than women because they visit the clinic less and live on that take-it-easy mode. The other part is ego and the nature of man. ââMen donât usually talk about private matters (especially when the matter pertains to anything hanging between their legs), but feeling a twinge of pain from time to time in the scrotum is quite commonââ observes Ruth K. Westheimer author of Sex For Dummies .So when your man refuses to go the clinic remember his upbringing and encourage him gently. A part of how we react emotionally was inculcated into us by society. Now, I am a man who cries and asks for help. Chances that I could commit suicide remain less because I confide in friends, family and God. I still cave in when I have problems just like any other man, but when I feel I wonât get an answer from lengthy introspection and thought, I consult other people. This is my strength. Emotionally women are considered weak. They burst out crying and all. The bible even calls them the ââweaker sexââ But that weakness is great strength in disguise. ââFor when I am weak, then I am strongââ, (2 Corinthians 12:10). Men are strong but they are also weak. Women look weak but they are strong. Women donât kill themselves over betrayals like men do. Women can forgive a cheating spouse but for a man to forgive seems hard especially when the betrayal involves sex.

Women shouldnât think that makes them extremely superior to men, because women worry a lot about petty issues, a thing which might be mentally unhealthy. No wonder Adrianna Mendrek, a researcher at the Institut Universitaire En SantÃ© Mentale de MontrÃ©al, in a recent press release observes that âGreater emotional reactivity in women may explain many things, such as their being twice as likely to suffer from depression and anxiety disorders to men.â According to StÃ©phane Potvin, associate professor at the University of Montrealâs Department of Psychiatry. âIt is possible that women tend to focus more on the feelings generated by these stimuli, when men remain somewhat âpassiveâ toward negative emotions, trying to analyze the stimuli and their impact.â

Analytic? That sounds intelligent on the side of men, right? I am not against analyzing or intelligence. My advice to men is that ââI know you like analyzing, being logical and stuff. But if you feel a penis ache, sore arms or head ache, avoid trying to analyze, just call the doctor, and you will live long.ââ Today we have a lot of widows because men die early. How many widowers do we have? How many of our men can live as long as President Robert Mugabe. Well, think about it. Many may not like the President of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe for his tough stance on many views, but I believe he is a happy man who takes health precautions and Jokes or laughs a lot. Recently word has been doing rounds that Mr Mogabe once said, ââIf you are ugly, youâre ugly, stop talking about inner beauty because we donât walk around with x-rays.ââ I donât know whether he said that or not but I laughed to tears. Talking about women and how talkative they are, it is rumored that Mogabe once said ââGod is the best inventor ever, He took a rib from a man and created a loud speakerââ. Again I donât know whether the old man indeed said so, but the man is funny. He makes me laugh. While watching his recent SADC address on television, I was in tears of laughter. He was talking about how bushmen refuse to leave the kind of life they live in the bush. How they love bush meat and reject civilization. The way he said it made me laugh. Mugabeâs humor to me rivals Trevor Noahâs. Anyway lets get to the topicâs conclusion and leave Mugabe alone...

How does it help you sexually to know all this emotional differences between woman and men. To have a woman enjoy sex somehow implies that the sex has to be emotional to be enjoyable. Some women even cry during hot sex, a thing, which few men can do. If a woman can bring ââsmallââ issues to the doctor, that probably means she will worry if you ram her pussy and wound it. They care about such issues. Be sensitive when dealing with a woman. Donât be over-sensitive but be caring enough to understand them. They are people of emotion, of health and detail.

(5) Fashion

It is clear to the observant eye, that men and women approach fashion in a different way. That is why a woman will buy different colors of shoes for every occasion and every shoe would have to match with the handbag and makeup of the day. Most women can bath and dress up, just to get to an automatic teller machine and draw funds. A sizeable number of men would think looking clean is such a priority.The way women dress just shows us that they are attentive to detail and aesthetic. Women are very color, texture, material and label sensitive. I do buy my wife shoes but let me not hide the fact that itâs difficult because women are very choosy people. I hardly feel content about the choice I make for her. But buying a man shoes is a much easier task, which has its priority around buying something that protects one from stepping on thorns!

Men are simple on issues of fashion. We just want something hard enough to last us ages. It must have quality and appeal. Menâs shoes for instance are made with a particular focus on durability and appearance. We are not too colorful. We donât wear pink, lilac or lemon-yellow shoesâwell, at least not most of us. Women on the other hand look primarily for beauty, appeal, elegance and status. The shoes of women are made out of almost anything:plastic, leather, leatherette, suede, paper and fabric. The idea behind the shoe is beauty first and foremost and elegance. Durability? Yah well...I have seen tender puppies tear them apart!

According to Wharton marketing professor Stephen J. Hoch, shopping behavior reflects gender differences coz âWomen think of shopping in an inter-personal, human fashion and men treat it as more instrumental. Itâs a job to get done,â Simply put ââwomen shop, men buyââ. I went with my mother and my wife to a traditional restaurant (By the way, I donât have a father, heâs late), so while we were there, mum fussed about the behavior of waiters. How they were frowning and all. All I wanted was fooood !

I donât know why God made me that way. The only reason I can give for not being interested in how waiters behave is that I am a man. Not that I donât mind shit but for most of the time I would rather not care about frowning waiters. ââWhat I found interesting is how women tend to be more focused on people while men act almost as if they are dealing with an ATM machine. In fact, they want to deal with an ATM machine. They really donât want to deal with a person.â says Wharton marketing professor Stephen J. Hoch.

Just to add on to Hochâs view, I think man made the ATM and vending machine. They must have thought its the best way to get what you want without having to deal with attendant crap.

What does all this have to do with sexing a woman? If women treat shopping like a big deal while men think largely of buying, that means woman are more interactive in shopping as well as in sex. She wants to hear your voice, what you think of her, how you feel about her and all that jizz. Men on the other hand donât dwell so much on the emotion behind sex.Not that they donât have emotions but rather the rubbing feels more worth consecrating on than all these other âgirlyâ feelings. How she looks, the feeling of penetration and positions matter largely to a man. But the woman while sheâs in to the sex, wants to feel loved and wanted .In short while she is into the ââemotionââ of it the male is into the ââmotionââ of it. What a difference!

(b) Sexual differences

All my books and sermons are like this. They always are at the beginning like a deviation from the central topic. I wanted you to understand the difference between both sexes before we proceed. If you skipped this stage, you have missed a very important lesson. Now whatâs next? I want to tell you what happens when a man and a woman have sex. What happens to the male and what happens to the Female? How can you thoroughly sex a man or woman when you donât know what really transpires during copulation. Okay, when a man and woman are in the bedroom there are no arbitrators or human rights activists. The light may be bright or dimly lit.... Ok before the light is bright or dimly lit, you met this guy or girl, loved her from the day you saw her. Was that love? Oh yah, letâs just say so, but it was just a feeling brought about by testosterone.

The presence of hormones is obvious during the teenage stage and into our youth and adult stage. We thus have a lot of crushes at this stage. But for males,itâs got to be triggered by sight. You saw this person, were crazed by what you saw coz you liked it, and the rest became an oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone movie. They call it ââlove at first sight.ââ I think I remember feeling that way about my wife. I thank God I never had to have a crush on every girl. I am the ââmarriage type.ââ But I went through the spell of having a crush. Having a crush is a feeling that makes one weak and love stung. Until it happens to you, you wonât understand why the Kingâs bride in Songs of songs says,ââI am overcome by love,ââ (Songs of songs 2:5), or ââI am faint with loveââ,(Songs of songs 2:5). Have you ever loved someone to such an extent that you cannot look into a bathtub, or dishwashing basin and not see the face of your lover? When I met my wife, I could not act like a Shaolin monk. I had to admit that someone special has appeared. It did not matter to me how spiritual I was by then. That feeling wonât excuse you because you are a preacher. What do I mean by that? I mean that when you meet this person you somehow find yourself not knowing what to say or do. You panic, fumble and completely lose your cool. Has it ever happened to you?

You see, when you have a crush, your stress response rises automatically triggering the presence of cortisol, a stress hormone. When you see this person you feel attracted to, you can shiver, experience crazy heart-beats and feel the same way you would if a ferocious criminal pointed a gun at you. There is that adrenalin effect in the body of a lover. You feel the same anxiety that is felt by Botswanaâs loved athlet, Nijel Amos when he is racing in a stadium towards athletic victory. There is that fear in all sports persons comparative to a loverâs anxiety. Thatâs why Nike says ââjust do it.ââ If you are a guy, you feel everytime you meet this person you want her so badly that you are in a break it or make it moment. You wonder what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Ladies feel extremely shy. But both prospective lovers canât sleep peacefully at night. The woman in Songs of songs tells us what happens when one has a crush. She says ââI sleep, but my heart is awake; It is the voice of my beloved! He knocks, saying, âOpen for me, my sister, my love, My dove, my perfect one; For my head is covered with dew, My locks with the drops of the night.â (songs of Songs 5:2).Thatâs typical of having a crush. Donât you remember that high school crush?: âOr the severe crush at the end of elementary school. Unfortunately very few relationships from our younger days ever amount to anything but hormones.

So,men have got more of the sex drive sponsoring testosterone hormone than women. This automatically makes men more sexually assertive than women. While a man is relatively always on, a woman needs to be turned on. Thatâs the part that most men donât seem to get through their thick skull. But just because she is low on testosterone and responsive doesnât mean she doesnât enjoy sex. She does. Look, men are more like a sensory light. The sensory light detects movement and switches on automatically. Women on the other hand are like an electric stove. When you switch on an electric stove, it heats up gradually. When the cooking is over and you switch it off, the heat will gradually go off. Thatâs typical of a womanâs way of being aroused. Women view sex as largely emotional but men view sex as physical. Thatâs probably why that neighbor of mine said, ââmen are people who donât attach much to sex, they can just fuck for the sake of fucking.ââ Now, I didnât say that, she did... But then again, what turns on a man is different. He is looking at those curves, breasts, thighs and lips and canât help but want you immediately. The more he sees you on those jeans, shoes and skirts, is the more interested he becomes. But you are not driven to sex him because of that chino trouser he is wearing. You feel horny because of the way he treated you today. His looks and body may count, but your sex driving edge borders around treatment. If only men understood this...the world would be a better place.

Stage 1

Now, what happens when people have sex? Many of us think love is a complicated word and that we canât define it. Yes love is no simple word but sex it appears, is even more difficult to describe, especially as to how people feel when having sex and why. Some say they feel their mind goes blank. Others say itâs like a ride on virgin Atlantic. A blatantly honest guy says its like someone is hitting him with a hammer in the head and he is splitting into pieces. Is that so? This thing is strange. When people define love they donât say such crazy things but with sex, the descriptions you get are as good as opening a can of worms. Okay, now, if you are a gentleman who doesnât pounce on your lady without procedure, there should be foreplay at beginning of a sex act. But we are not there yet coz I have dedicated a whole chapter to foreplay. The first stage is the excitement stage. Am I right? During the excitement stage, the vagina becomes wet or lubricated some seconds, or minutes after proper foreplay has begun. The inner lips and the outer lips become bigger or ââswell.ââ I think ââswellââ is the right word. The penis expands as blood fills its tissues and both loverâs nipples may harden. If we had a stethoscope, we could prove that by this time your heart rate has gone high. The heart is racing and the body is anticipating serious pleasure. Donât let it down. I canât imagine any crime bigger than frustrating a legit sexual expectation. Most men are not aware that the vagina swells, because we care very little about what happens to someone else. But be observant enough to notice such things if you are going to make love the natural and exceptional way. You want to leave a lasting memory and not a lasting regret. Remember, women have a better memory than men. She is not going to forget the things you are doing. You donât want to have a bad reputation of doing it before foreplay or causing lips to swell and then disappointing the ââswelledââ vagina. That is bedroom blasphemyâstraightout. These are the sins men commit and go scot-free coz the penal code says nothing about that. Nothing is as disappointing as sex with a man who raises the hopes of his womanâs body and neglects it.

You need to please your wife sexually and to do that you must concern yourself with ââworldlyââ stuff. ââHe who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lordâ how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the worldâhow he may please his wifeââ,(I Corinthians 7:32- 33 ).Traditional women who just sit there like a log and do nothing make it worse for men. Do everything in your power madam and sexually excite your man. If he should one day fall prey to another woman who knows what she is doing, he will not return. We have had many cases where a man left his woman and went for another and never returned despite our prayers and fasting. We just hope it was not a euphoric blow-job that kept him all this while. Donât you think there might have been something about the other woman that captivated him? Now I donât mean to offend you if you have been betrayed. Maybe yours is an exceptional case in which you were dealing with a hard to satisfy ââdog.ââ But my point is this: Do you remember the story of Samson in the bible? He often got interested in Philistine women despite the trouble. There was something Samson felt around Delilah that captivated the way he thought of her. It might have been how she dressed, talked or maybe a good massage she often gave him. Godly women who preferred being Jewish over being sexy never really attracted Samson. Imagine how many times Samson faced death and yet kept on falling for gentile women. Oh, boy...there must have been something... Okay lets go on... Stage one is over when the penis is erect and the vagina is wet and has swelled, whatâs next?

Stage 2

Here, the vagina continues to be puffy and penis becomes firmer. There is more that happens than the snake being let out to play. Testis or the balls move slowly up the scrotum. Vaginal walls grow thicker and the clitoris, (a small city of pleasure the size of a bean seed) starts playing hide and seek. It simply goes into its hood. The color of the vagina may change and this might be more noticeable if the person is light skinned coz it turns reddish or purplish particularly on its lips. Obviously thatâs a traffic light or a red robot but in the bedroom, red means go. What happens when a car prepares to depart might as well happen to these two lovers. Breathing intensifies, and one can only expect that the lungs have joined in and thatâs why there is heavy breathing. It will take a trained eye to notice that the muscles around the waists and hips and buttocks have tightened. The environment is ââhotââ and the war is about to begin. Donât disappoint, this I must say again and again. Very few men in a society know what it is to not disappoint. You see, the vagina and the penis are very technical and until you have properly studied them you will have a reason to believe in evolution. I am a preacher who doesnât believe the idea that the vagina and the penis are a result of evolution or adaptation. Someone deliberately made these things. That person must be God.

Stage 3

After oral sex, foreplay and all the body chores, the pumping is on, beginning with the missionary position. I hate to call it the missionary position. Its a basic position where a man is on top of a woman. But you can do vise-versa and call that woman-on-top or reverse-cow-girl. I will show you that later on when we talk about sex positions. Many people despise Christians because some Christians have the tendency of looking lame and seeming to not be in touch with matters of pleasure while trying to prove how holy they are. This position of man on top, is basic and was thus called the missionary position to mock the insipid Christian lack of interest in sex. Stage three; sex goes on and on and on. We are talking penetration here (Biceps and triceps move). There is pumping, no doubt and there are contractions and various positions if need be to enhance penetrations, and sex is at its highest. Maybe at this point it makes sense to review those earlier on comments in which some say they feel the mind is blanking out, some say itâs like a ride on Virgin Atlantic. A blatantly honest guy says ââits like someone is hitting me with a hammer in the head and I am splitting into piecesââ. Is that so? Strange neh? According to Dr Arun Ghosh, who specializes in sexual health at the Spire Liverpool Hospital, a hormone called oxytocin is released during sex. This hormone is also known as the love hormone and makes one more loving, yielding to the other. It makes one to feel empathetic. They say ââit lowers our defenses and makes us trust people more.ââ Itâs the reason why your lady still loves you when you have let her down so many times. It creates that bonding effect and this hormone is released in better amounts in women. It makes them to love their men and love their kids. Mothers produce oxytocin when breast-feeding. Thatâs why mothers by nature just love their kids and would die for them. Diane Witt, an assistant professor of psychology, has done experiments that demonstrate that the hindrance of the release of this hormone in sheep and rats caused them to reject their young ones. Guys, God is a genius and Charles Darwin was crazy. What part of these things is coincidence from a big bang?

Okay, lets go on. So, the man continues bonking and the woman mourns in that enjoyment mode that says ââcarry on dude, donât stop just yet.ââ Oxytocin is released. What happens next? Sex goes on... ââ The problem is that when a man has an orgasm, the main hormone released is dopamine â the pleasure hormone. And this surge can be addictive,ââ says Dr Ghosh. Dopamine is a chemical that stimulates the rush of pleasure and makes one to feel as though they are riding a surf board at Durban summer thrill. Scientifically speaking, ââits a compound present in the body as a neurotransmitter and a precursor of other substances including epinephrine.ââ One guy wrote in a magazine that even if your boss were to appear at that time, you wouldnât have an atom of reverential fear for him/her. Some say the mind goes blank. A Christian might say it is then that you see the greatness of God. But most agree that you see nothing. But this stage is very pleasurable and causes men to be addicted to sex because it has the same effect as crack cocaine. Dopamine is dope nigga. Sex is the only legal way to have pleasure enough to rival some of the very drugs banned by the state. Thatâs why some people promise others trains when they are at this point. Some scream ââmarry me.ââ Years ago, a woman in South Africa complained that her guy screams too loud during climax and this embarrasses her. Recently, in the western world, was that United Kingdom?:â The court charged a woman for screaming loud everytime she reached climax thus disturbing her neighbors. Climax during sex is a very exhilarating moment. Sex, if it is by any means extremely wonderful, has that meeting point between a dopamine obsession and an oxytocin intoxication. Thatâs why we preachers have been saying that the Bible says, ââTherefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one fleshââ,(Genesis 2:24). The moment oxytocin is released, the woman and the man start having empathy for each other. She feels as if she were you. You become a part of her. Thatâs why she grieves when you die. Thatâs why she irons your clothes and gives you food as if she were doing it to herself. Please ââLet her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her loveââ,(Proverbs 6:19). Donât go screwing everybody around and doing oxytocin with everyone. Why ââshould you my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?ââ(Proverbs 6:20).

I have sat with women who were beaten by their boyfriends, bruised, hurting, abused, neglected, cheated on and they couldnât leave them. Why?:âshout ââoxytocin!ââ They had bonded with them. To leave him has become to leave yourself because ââ a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one fleshââ,(Genesis 2:24). People love themselves and when you go into bed with someone, chances are you will end up loving him or her the way you love yourself. Thatâs why is not good to be doing one night stands and going dope with a person you donât know. If you are going to have sex with someone, you better make sure itâs a committed arrangement, so that you donât just leave anytime you want and leave the person torn apart. Why will a guy scream a girlâs name and want to buy her a train? You know the answer: âdopamine. Thatâs why mothers often say, ââI donât understand my son. After I have cared for him this long, how does he buy his wife a merc when I am still driving an old corolla. ââ Let me answer that, ââWell, your son is going dope, momââ Get it? Heish, knowledge is beautiful. I thank God for giving me a love for knowledge. I know some people just hate me for saying the good old truth. They want hypocrisy. But I believe a Christian should have a good shag. He or she should know better, the things God created. We often say ââI can do all things through Christ who strengthens meââ,(Philippians 4:13). Canât Christ give you the strength to have proper sex that could humble a porn star? If not, then your faith is vanity.You âve got to be joking folk. Give that spouse of yours some good sex. Give her oxytocin. Keep her captured by your warmth.

Okay enough of that, letâs now return to the subject matter. Letâs get back to this stage. At this stage, the sex is good. Lovers are screaming and feeling the bolt of lightning sensation. Somebody is calling for God or mama (they never call for daddy anyway). Hormones are being released and there is that ââdo not disturbââ notice at the door of a hotel room. Heish, thatâs why sometimes I loathe hotel beds of businesses that care less about hygiene. Hotel beds can be dirty sex grounds if a hotel is not thorough at cleaning coz there are fluid secretions during sex. Whatâs next? Obviously if the two love birds know what they are doing then walls of the vagina begin to contract. There is that earthquake sensation, and there is probably additional vaginal lubrication. The woman cums, and ââfemale ejaculationââ occurs. I guess we never learned about it at school. The guy starts screaming, crying or mourning if not staring at the air with the mind ââblankââ... (well it varies from guy to guy) . Not every guy calls his ladyâs name three times. The cuming stage is the climax stage and if you have done business admin or marketing at school, the whole sexual thing is like a product life cycle. After the climax, things should reach a decline (a gradual one though). In My other book,the spiritual relationship, I wrote as follows : Climax is the zenith of sexual affection. It is understood to be the most joyous moment in a sexual activity. It is the moment of sexual satisfaction and achievement. Women experience contractions and vibrations while men release spermatozoa at this time of the intercourse. In women this may be a 15 seconds interval while for men it is roughly 4-5 seconds. The most important thing is that it is a moment of achieving satisfaction (end of quote). Just a moment prior to coming, lovers had become a bit numb, the same way one feels when they drink a considerable amount of scotch whisky. This is because during sex craze, the sensory cortex of the brain is affected. That is why you wonât be respectful even if the state president appeared instantly by your bedside during climax. Did you know that good sex can be so good that it wipes away memory? You can forget your middle name if the sex was really really good. According to one blogger, ââSometimes, people also experience transient retrograde amnesia, forgetting some portion of their previous memories. In the case of the 54-year-old woman at the Washington, D.C., hospital, the last day was a fog, and she had been forgetful and confused since having sex.ââ Hmmmm, her old man must have been very skillfulâat least more skillful than todayâs young people who sex boringly and yet impregnate instantly. Young people, and a great deal of them I must say, are only favored by raging hormones and gutsy erections. But in marriage, they might not prove to be excellent at doing the same person over and over for fifty years or more. And thatâs why I am taking them to school. You see, I havenât started teaching you how to have sex yet. I am just teaching you what happens during intercourse. By the time you finish this book, if the way you see sex has not changed then you need nothing more than spanking (huh,jus kiddin). But if this book sounds too rough and candid for you, donât read it. If you continue reading, then am surely not to blame.

Stage 4

Most people have such sex that they donât pass by stage one, they only start at stage three and before you know it, the person is ejaculating and being pleasured alone. Underline the word ââalone.ââ This person is alone as though this is some type of masturbation. Eish, what a let down!

But here at stage 4,the story should be different. If the lovers have reached climax, then at this time, the war is over, both countries have called a truce. There is retreat and surrender. The penis starts deflating or becoming smaller thus returning to its normal flaccid condition. In women the clitoris relaxes and takes it easy. Both men and women experience muscle relaxation, the opposite of muscle tension.

In the past we have had oestrogen, testosterone, adrenalin, cortisol, oxytocin and dopamine, but are the hormones done yet?âNo, no yet. Another hormone called Vasopressin (also known as the anti-diuretic hormone) is released. Vasopressin may be the reason why you often feel thirsty after sex. After all, couples sweat and lose a lot of water when having actively involving sex. But it also stimulates bonding between the two. During intercourse the nervous system in the Female is a bit numb so that much of what she feels will be pleasure and not pain. And it doesnât mean she wonât feel any pain from scratches if the penis has got hair that causes vaginal tears, it only means any pain inflicted feels less catastrophic than it actually should. As much as the body begins to relax after sex, the brain releases its hypothalamus section to function freely. When the hypothalamus was not free to function you couldnât feel tired, thirsty and hungry. God knew that this feeling would disturb the reproductive and pleasure process. Ladies and gentlemen, sex is a wonderful phenomenon such that even nuns and fathers have often found themselves too infatuated by it enough to forget their Catholic vows of celibacy.

(c)Physical differences at a glance (Penis)

I am not as good at drawing as were the late Vincent Van Gogh,Publo Picasso and Leonardo Da Vinci. But I honestly feel you need to learn from a drawing how a real vagina and penis look like just in case you have been ââsaintlyââ enough to avoid seeing a vagina or penis for too long. I used to draw portraits for a living and though itâs been a while, I donât think preaching the gospel has made me forget how to draw a real penis. I have used a HB, 2B, 3B pencil. For those of you who are artists, this should inspire you if not horrify you.

You see, if you want to teach anyone how to drive a car, you first have to show them the basic parts of a car. You start by saying, ââthatâs the steering wheel, gear, brake pedal and clutch.ââ And it always sounds foolish, to learn the basics. Students have the tendency of laughing at basics and yet when they get into the car to drive, they canât even locate the brakesâthe very thing you taught them while they were busy laughing. There is never a moment when I feel like slapping a student such as this. But there are people today who canât even label their own private parts. These are the same people who made noise and wouldnât pay attention during elementary schooling, making airplanes out of papers while we learned keenly. This kind of people, do not know their own anatomy and worse still, they obviously canât label the opposite genderâs anatomy.

How do you give your spouse some good lovemaking when you canât even locate the clitoris? Okay, I am teaching you how to ride and the first thing about it is you have to understand yourself and your partner. On the previous page, there is a picture of a penis. There is the shaft, foreskin and blah blah. Some people feel that their shaft is too small and they want it bigger. Well, read on, perhaps you will learn later as to what to do with a smaller shaft. Foreskin is next. Some people donât have their foreskin anymore. The advantages are, itâs cleaner to circumcise and people without foreskin are less vulnerable to infections. Circumcised or not, you can still have great sex. I hope you are seeing the glands though they are covered. Then thereâs that lower partâ very sensitive indeed. Thatâs the head quarters or the balls. If you are fighting with anyone male enough to have a bag with two ââeggsââ, and you give him a thorough kick on the balls, the war is over. There will be no need for any further blows. But the problem with handling testicles is that they look simple but they need optimal care. If you take a very hot bath or shower you can affect sperm count and fail to breed that night. Wearing tight under wears is also not good for them. It can be cancerous. They were made to hang. You can tell just by looking, that God almighty designed them to hang. ââBallsââ need to be cooler than the rest of the body. A man knows heâs got designer balls if they can hang nicely down there. Balls are balls, perfect for any lover of nature. Men have done nose surgery, face surgery but hardly balls surgery and I think its because balls are the one thing that most humans have no alacrity to criticize God on. Now, thatâs one hell of a design. The penis is simply the main switch. Pleasuring a guyâs penis opens his heart. He becomes more loving and caring.

You donât have to warn any guy to avoid pressing them balls hard. God knows that balls are needed for reproductions and that there are important replication documents in them. So he made them to feel very painful when disturbed, so that, whoever offends them will be sorry. God is smart guys. Instead of him saying donât press your balls hard every time, he knows that human-beings wonât listen and will keep on doing that anyway. So he just makes them very painful so that those who disobey will be sorry.

(d)Physical differences at a glance (vagina)

Guys, below is a portrait of the vagina. Ladies, donât take this lightly. Take notice of the vaginal masterpiece and the labeling. Some women have actually failed to label this properly at elementary school. We have got the clitoris down there, There is also the labia monora, and majora.That should probably mean minor and major. Never mind the scientific jargon. I think this is what they call ââditlopiââ,in my country. There is the vestitube and the vagina, probably the most famous here. Then there is the urethra. The vagina is just a canal with flesh that is similar in structure to the texture of the walls of the mouth, and that should be why some people fancy blow-jobs. My wife is a nurse and she did anatomy in bit of detail. She says that lining inside the mouth and the vagina is called ââmicosa.ââ Some people pull the lips of the vagina to make them longer claiming it produces more pleasure for men, some cut out the clitoris. Because of such actions we have got women today, especially in Africa and India, who canât even reach climax because their parts were mutilated. In Kenya sex workers are reported to be not able to enjoy sex because of mutilation during childhood. This mutilation of Kenyan women I hear is giving Ugandan sex workers leverage in sex market coz men prefer them. But the whole mutilation thing is pretty much based on traditional practices featuring a bit of ignorance. God wasnât kidding when he made these things the way they are. So when some grandmother, who doesnât know how to spell biology, starts instructing you to do things that your government hasnât put on the school syllabus, be careful. You might live to regret it all your life. During Timothyâs time I guess there were women who taught sexual myths and health tips around exercising ... I have no idea what they taught, but Paul said to timothy, ââreject profane and old wivesâ fables, and exercise yourself toward godlinessââ,(1 Timothy 4:7).You see, old wives have the tendency of teaching things more in the way they see them than the way they are. Her husband liked longer vaginal lips, now she pulling the lips of her childrenâs vagina in a bid to make the pussy pleasurable. Who says long is pleasurable? How does she know whether that childâs prospective partner will like that? Maybe he will want moderate lips so he can see the rest of the vagina. They are basing their practices on previous fantasies and fables, which they think are applicable to everyone âuniformed practices that can harm nature. So Paul says to Timothy, ââ reject profane and old wivesâ fables, and exercise yourself toward godlinessââ, (1 Timothy 4:7). Be careful what you pick from these old wives! Why donât we leave things just the way God made them? Whatâs all this pulling around of vaginal lips? There is something wrong with this idea of fiddling with nature, trying to make breasts bigger and penises longer. Some girls put stuff into the vagina hoping it will make the vagina juicier or tighter. They put dangerous stuff in there. In my website am availing a scientific spray for vagina tightening. Not these home made concoctions. Why should women try to tighten their vaginas using strange powders and medicines that are not even medical? Donât we have gynecologists? Check my website at www.ansonpublishing.com and then go to sex shop. You should find a vagina tightener made by professionals!

(e) A closer look at Physical differences (Penis)

The reason why you need to take a closer look at the penis is that it takes more than basic knowledge to make your guy and yourself reach climax. How do you use a spoon when you donât know it well in terms of structure and utility? Is there a utensil that you can ever use properly without knowing its anatomy and function?:âI guess not. Brothers and sisters pay careful attention to the organ picture below. There is that tip of the penis, which is very sensitive, I think is called the ââcoronaââ Sounds like ââcorollaââ, right? Yeah, thatâs where the joyride comes from. Then there is that sponge like tissue, which is labeled penis. Blood flows into those tissues and they become erect. So ladies, you need to do a little bit of work to turn on your big kahuna. But donât worry, that rubber like thing will be firm in no time if your bull is a true one. If heâs got erection problems...thatâs a different story altogether. We will talk about it sometime later. Now, take a look at the scrotum and epididymis . There is that vas deferens ââtube like ââ thing. I think sperms travel in that tube. Look at the distance, now thatâs some ââkilometersââ right there... So when this guy says ââI am comingââ, you know exactly where he is coming from. Heâs got seedlings from the nursery and he is going all the way to the main garden to plant them. By the time heâs by the penis tip with those seeds he will be screaming names and telling you all kinds of things. But take another look, thereâ are those seminal vesicles. Thatâs where the semen comes from right? Then, what takes him so long to come when the nursery is so near? Oh, messages have to be sent to the brain that the sex is brilliant, then the brain will instruct the release of semen, right?

But when the delivery man is too slow to receive and deliver the messages, eish, it takes long to come, and thatâs where the woman gets tired of waiting for his arrival. Guys donât take too long. It makes the whole thing boring. It makes sex to be a project instead of an escapade. Yes thereâs the bladder and if he starts sexing with the bladder full of urine he is going to have a problem coming early. Anyway thatâs for later. Okay take a look at the tip of the penis. Look at how itâs shaped. Why is it shaped that way? Okay itâs not yet time for this coz itâs for later but let me give you a clue:The penis has a shape, which makes it easy to touch the top part of the vagina. Itâs designed such that as the man goes in and out he touches a spot which provokes the female climax. Most men donât know this, and they come and make their spouses to come by happenstance. Thereâs nothing more unfortunate in the bedroom than people who just come by coincidence. Later on I am going to show you how to come and how to make your partner come, but wait, I have to teach you the first step. Thatâs going to be one step at a time,âPrecept upon precept, precept upon precept, Line upon line, line upon line, Here a little, there a little,â (Isaiah 28:13).These things are not to be rushed.

(f)A closer look at Physical differences (Vagina)

A closer look at the vagina also reveals something interesting. You better pay serious attention coz you wonât learn this in church. In fact, should they hear you, they would cast the demon out of you for saying ââvagina.ââ You would have to say something like ââwomanhoodââ and say it discreetly so that you are not heard by holy people. And the irony of it is that often the very people who donât want to hear the word vagina are the ones sexing people behind the scenes and committing all kinds of sordid acts. Yah, you didnât know it?:âthink again.

Anyway, lets go on. You got the vagina picture down there, I donât want to say the reproductive system. Let just say ââvaginaââ or ââpussyââ if thatâs fine with you or whatever.... But know that God will never judge you for labeling an organ the way you want. So, I have just drawn and labeled the vagina and its neighbors on the previous page. Next time you want to do a book, and need illustrations, just try me out. Am not that bad...or am I?I help people publish books for almost nothing. If youâre interested Visit www.ansonpublishing.com go to services, fill the-form below and weâll take it from there. I want you to focus on the clitoris and the pipe like entry, which is actually the vagina. Do you see where the penis goes in? At the end of that tunnel, there is that cervix part. If a guy has a dick long enough to touch that cervix part it is going to hurt. And the pain is unbearable. So while you go about trying to increase penile size just remember, thatâs a no-go-area. And by the way, if the penis is longer than needed thereâs no way of reducing it. I never heard of penis reducing medicine. Increasing the penis is like walking through a rail-way tunnel. If the train doesnât come while you are in that tunnel, then you are simply fortunate. If it does, you are finished. If you increase the penis to a âârightââ length then we can say ââwell done kid.ââ But if itâs the wrong size, you will have to live with consequences of trying to teach God how to make the right penis length. So itâs a ââdo it at your own riskââ, coz whatever bad thing happens, you have yourself to blame. Not even the devil will be held responsible for you doing your thing and having your errors.

At the entrance is the vestibular gland. Thatâs for lubricating the vagina. Itâs at the door. I mean the greater vastibular gland. Take a look at it. It lubricates the entrance. So when you put it in and its painful, donât think it shows that you are the man. You are just hurting Eve, big time. You are breaking them traffic laws. Thatâs a stop sign brother, you are suppose to fondle until the gland releases the fluid and then once the fluid is there and the lips of the vagina have been puffed up, you enter.

We are almost at the end of the chapter, but let me tell you something that I might not have the writing space to say when we go ahead. Men love to be respected and sexed and women love relationships. Men are projectors and women are receptors. Men look at things in general and in summery, women love attention to detail. Yes, women and man are not same. But vaginas and penises are reciprocal. Every manâs penis has to have testicles and a shaft and every womanâs vagina ought to have the vestibular glands and labia majora or manora.There is nothing like this ladyâs sex is nicer than that one. It is you the man, who imagines that woman is nicer than that one. And it feels like that because the mind is conditioned that way. This reminds me of Pavlov, Ivan (Petrovich) (1849â1936), a Russian physiologist. He is best known for his studies on the conditioned reflex. He demonstrated through a dog that salivates at the ring of a bell the concept of mental conditioning. God never gave some people nicer vaginas than others. That would simply be unfair. Yes,there are bigger vaginas, smaller vaginas, but âânicerââ is rather subjective to mental perception and conditioning. There are men who just donât know how to have satisfying sex and then they conclude that itâs because of the other person. They pass on the blame. Perhaps this other person mourns in way that they like and they think eish, this oneâs sex is juicier. There is nothing like that. Not when it comes to sex, and as a man if you are good at doing it, with your partner, it should be nice, no matter who your partner is. You might say you prefer fat women, but remember that fat is just fat. If you are dating a fat woman she might just lose weight and become thin. Are you going to leave her and look for someone fat? If you like thin girls and your slim girl gains weight, are you going to be up and about looking for a slim girl?

Donât be in love with weight. Weight is just weight. And I am not saying that you should not pick a girl with big bums and curves if thatâs what you like, but I am saying donât let your love for someone be just based on the size of a bum. She might get stress and lose that bum. Then there are race issues. Some women, especially in Africa and China believe in getting married to white men. Some white women in Europe believe that men in Africa sex better.Word has it that some guys in Africa believe that if you ever sex an Indian, American or French woman you will forget the day you were born. Those things are just mental perceptions. And such have promoted sex tourism. There is nothing like that. How is a man or a woman going to go around test-driving women of all the races to verify myths that were born out of pure ignorance? It is just a mindset. If you believe girls in Russia are the best, its going to be that way to you. And yes if you believe Russian girls are the best then get yourself a Russian girl and settle.

You should get what you want, settle and enjoy it. There is no way you are going to eat everything in the restaurantâs menu and not have problems. Even rich guys choose what they want to eat. I have met and known racists who believed that falling in love with black chicks is degrading because they lowly rate them as unclean ââkaffirs.ââ Generalization is hardly true. But that aside, mentality is king. ââI know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is uncleanââ,(Romans 14:14). I just love that verse coz it shows us that itâs all about our minds.

Now, let me talk to ladies who pick a guy simply because heâs got money. While most men hate the thought of that, there is nothing wrong with a lady choosing someone because heâs got this or that. Ladies love to be provided for and will always love a guy who seems to have it all figured outâespecially when it comes to money. Itâs natural, I mean, who would want to marry a fool who canât provide? But let me warn you ladies not to be imprudent in your search for a provider. Be careful not to miss out on a guy with potential simply because thereâs a rich dude driving a Cadillac in front of you. You canât afford to be that cheap. If love is what you want, donât just open your thighs because a guy has got money. Remember, ââ the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrowsââ,(1 Timothy 6:10).And if you are a Christian, and you turn in self-defeating style and make money your God, donât forget that ââ Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another godââ,(Psalms 15:4).

Then there are guys who think ladies love mating like a breeding bull, and go up and about just learning how to sex better. These kinds of guys have got the wrong mentality. Women love sex, but they love to be loved and cared for more than just being sexed. Itâs scientifically proven that men and women both love sex but men give it first priority. A woman may love sex, but thatâs not her number 1 priority. Most women have left guys who could have sex like monsters, they had big chests, and 6 pacs and they left them for teddy bears that proved to be able to love them and care for them. Same for men, some have left women who knew how to do laundry, iron the clothes and cook like Colonel Saunders. Men want sex and itâs their number 1 priority. Thatâs why he keeps calling you to be with him when you are caught up in house chores. Do you want to love him the way he wants to be loved or the way you think you should love him? If you keep on doing that, you will understand the hard way why some men have left wives of virtue for bitches. Bitches gave them sex and thatâs what they wanted, and if you donât like the sound of that, then suit yourself. Same to you men, if you are up and about jobless and investing in knowing how to sex, buying books on karma sutra and tantric sex to pleasure her, there is a high chance you will not be able to keep a woman. You see, women want a guy that can afford to provide for them and love, protect, cherish, care and of course sex them. But sex to them is just one of them sex things. A woman can stay many weeks, months or years without sex and still feel fine, but she suffers badly if she has to stay a week without love, more specifically affection. To buy a lady something at Wal-Mart calls for money, not a long penis or better sex. The teller in any shop will never measure the length of oneâs penis to give them goods in exchange for penile length or a mind bursting sex life. Yes itâs good to have great sex or even a great hood. I love sex, and I am not going to deny that and pretend just because I am a preacher. But donât be too obsessed with sex and think women are. Thatâs so wrong dude. If you are a guy, take a look at those diagrams again. I want you to know that all women have a reproductive system like that one on the diagram. Donât go chasing butterflies, just get one lady and spoil yourself. If you are a lady, you heard me... every man has a penis but what matters profoundly is which one of them loves you dearly. If you are careless about sex simply because your seductive power drives you nuts, Madam it wonât be long till guys treat you like a used chewing gum. Think about that and till then, take care...

2 The sex quadrant

What is so important about sex that makes a preacher like me to write a book about it? Oh okay, let me answer that. Now, who is first? I will start with women. Ladies first, right? Sex helps women relief stress especially after a boring day at work. Sex can humiliate a headache and refresh a fatigued womanâitâs a refreshment of some sort. Women who sex their husbands have a better chance of patronizing them hence winning their favor because men love sex and will treat tenderly women who care enough about them to treat them to cookie pleasure. In India, sex is respected for procreation. It helps women bond with their men at a level that nothing else can come to. It helps to put female lovers on the spotlight such that they feel attractive and confident. Women who ignore sex long enough can suffer vaginal atrophyâsimply defined as a ââwaste away, typically due to the degeneration of cells.ââ Ladies, donât waste this thing. Once you lose control over sex youâre losing control over your man. Sex to a man is like candy to a kid or milk to a cat, it keeps his mood jovial. Men who enjoy sex are happier than men who donât. Men with poor sex lives can often be moody and grumpy and easily irritable. Lack of desire for sex on the part of women causes depression in men, and the bulk of them, nag, lust, visit prostitutes and do side-chicks. After all, not all men are Christians and not all Christians are strong enough to stand sexual denial. And he is not going to tell you he did a call girl or one night stand. You will be there playing forbidden and he will just watch you and bother you less. Itâs like a kid,when a kid is too quite,there is something happening during that span of silence. If you check you will find the kid muddy,playing with soap mixed with oil and doing all sorts of destructive things. When your man becomes quiet and doesnât bother you no more, get bothered! Heâs probably taken his bother to the next camp. A lot of men simply donât understand how loved they are unless itâs communicated through sex. Itâs a language men speak. Besides, sex is a calorie burner that is way better than the treadmill coz you can burn close to 200 calories in a one hour sex session .It hydrates skin,improves it and strengthens nails thus helping your gal to have durable manicures. Itâs cardio exercising, activates thigh muscles and improves your hair by making it shine. A study done in Queenâs University shows that sex somehow extends the lifespan of its beneficiaries. It improves the sense of smell through the production of prolactin. It reduces your chances of heart diseases. It alleviates pain through oxytocin and somehow prevents the pain of arthritis, and migraine aches. Yes, you have been saying it jokingly, but you are right, sex does discourage flu and colds by increasing levels of an antibody called immunoglobin. Sex deters prostate cancer from boasting about conquering you and balances your hormones. Dentists agree that sperms have in them a reasonable amount of zinc, calcium and other dental elements that help produce healthy teeth as your body absorbs his sperms. I am just saying ladies. Not that I am trying to get you to swallow his sperms.No.Haaaahaaa.I am just saying.Sex is good medicine. Thatâs a whole pharmacy between oneâs legs. I wish all women and men knew this.Next time you struggle to get some sleep,donât take expensive tranquilizers,save money, have sex and you will sleep like a baby. Good sex a week, keeps the doctor away. I really get tired of praying for people whose solution is just a shag away. I want to pray for real issues and concerns.

Since sex is so important, I am going to say the same thing in few ways before I start teaching you the sex quadrant. I have always hated formal school for being so formal and rigid that some clever people had to be dropouts to succeed at life. Our world is led by dropouts who could not wait another moment to quit school and start living. Brad Pitt dropped out of the University of Missouri instead of waiting two more weeks for graduation. Oprah dropped out of Tennessee State University. Talk about Jim Carrey and Lady Gaga. Those are dropouts. Tom Hanks, Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, John Lennon and John Mackey are some the worldâs famous dropouts. They are just like Tupac Shakor, Lil Wayne, Eminem and them. Funny enough, our schoolbooks are loaded with lessons from people who rejected or were rejected by the educational system. We study windows, apple OS manuals and stuff. But that stuff comes from drop puts. Ironic isnât it?

Formal school can teach you about the force of gravity but not sex, and how to do it graciously unless you are studying sex therapy . They can teach you how to write a formal letter of employment or curriculum vitae but how many schools teach one how to write a company profile? We are learning how to deal with organizational rivalry but our own enemies are messing us up. Then thereâs this guy who holds a bachelorâs degree in Business Admin, and the same guy runs someoneâs company better than his own life. Why is it like that? I think we hardly think we can apply the things we learn at school on ourselves because we were taught to think within the perimeters of employment. But today, that should end. I will teach you sex stuff using the very things you learned at school. In the bedroom, if ever you need to turn your lover on, you are simply trying to create a demand so that you can supply. Thatâs basic economics and the very thing you learned about supply and demand. Your lover is an asset, and you have the liability to put this asset to full use but there are going to be some operating expenses. Thatâs accounts. You see, a person is like a system and there is no way any system will run without ignition and preparing for that system to operate, especially when it comes to sex. Thatâs engineering. But in business school we learned something that might change your bedroom life forever.

Around 1953,Neil Borden, of the American Marketing association brought about new knowledge for marketers by introducing the 4pâs of marketing (Product, Price, Place and promotion). In 1990âs Lauterborn converted the 4ps to four Cs (consumer, cost, communication, convenience) citing the need to be more customer orientated. But to me the difference between these four Pâs and Câs was nothing more than playing around with acronyms because the meaning is quiet similar. Product is comparable to commodity, Price is basically cost and promotion and communication go together while place is a matter of convenience. If you are not into marketing, not only are you bored by me saying this, you also donât understand it. But please hang on, for just a bit.

If youâve ever learned marketing you might have come across something called the market mix. I call it the ââmarketing quadrantââ because itâs made up of 4 things that constitute intelligent marketing. Quad means four. Just hang on. You will learn things that you never thought you needed to rock your bedroom life. Simply put, Marketing is exposing what you have for the consumer to enjoy. Marketing looks at this in four aspects, which I love to call the marketing quadrant, but is quite often referred to as the ââmarket mix.ââ Basically, the marketing quadrant is a combination of four factors that can be controlled by a company to influence consumers to purchase its products and these are namely: product, place, promotion and price. What kind of product in terms of shape, size, color, texture and other features determines your marketâs response? Which place are you selling it and what are the means of promoting it? What about pricing? These four components determine the difference between epic performance and grey mediocrity in marketing. And that sounds very academic, right? Well its very sexy as well. Wait until I unfold it.

Just how does a marketing quadrant turn into a sex quadrant? Simple, in the bedroom, you are a product ready to be enjoyed by your spouse and vice-versa. Is the place right and prepared for sex? What are the means you have employed to promote sexuality for that moment? Are you ready to pay the price its going to cost to give your lover epic sex performance? So there goes the 4ps, namely product, place, promotion and price. But as I dig into these four, you might soon notice why the sex graph in your home went from hero to zero. Letâs go...

(a)Product

You are a product, even if your spouse is not paying a dollar for a round. It matters in contemporary marketing as to how the product looks. If you are selling phones, their sizes, operational mechanisms, softwares and overall feel is going to matter. Those attributes are going to determine how well your sales rock. Marketing starts with the aspect of product. Thatâs why companies are fighting in the market to produce better looking and functioning products. Look at yourself? Are you attractive to your spouse? Already some of you readers are getting Ideas. Perhaps you think we are going to talk about the need for you to have big breasts, big dicks and wide hips. Well, that might make a good product but I am not trying to give God correctional lessons on how He could have made you. You see, how your lover is shaped is your choice and hers. Nobody ever decided to be tall or short, but we do decide whether to date a tall or short person. I donât think I want to address things, which you can do nothing about such as looking as ugly as a frog. But there are things that I will be glad to mention. One of them is weight. Many of us were able to lift their brides on that blessed wedding day, but today, it has to be a testimony that you can lift your own wife. Over the years, she had kids, moved from honey to mommy and is now heavier than two bags of cement put together. Women, if you think the vows your husband made bars him from being attracted to women who are half your size you are damn wrong, and itâs a good thing this book is not going to spare your feelings. When you are extremely fat, chances are you will be unattractive. Yes, African men, love fat women but not when that fatness makes it difficult to have sexual fun.

A man will prefer a woman whose body size can accommodate various sexual movements. Besides, fat people suffer breathing difficulties and tiredness. Just how are such things sexy? Woman, do something about your weight, or else most sex positions are just not going to work for him because of your shape. You can do better than saying ââGod made me that way.ââ But you should know that your man is not going to pressurize you . He will say you are fine the way you are but half the time such confessions are lies coming through his teeth. Ainât no man, that getâs permanently happy with elephant sizes and thatâs a fact. Especially if he didnât marry you when you were that size. You will not always be petite into your old age, but you can agree with me that certain kilos you gained over the years are not to be condoned and unless you are willing to tempt your man into considering plan B, which we all know is a ââsmall houseââ... Fat can fur up the arteries, reducing blood flow to the clitoris and lessening sensitivity. Fat women most likely feel unattractive and will rush to hide between the sheets to dodge standing positions under bright light.

And for men, who care about the product, donât forget that the duty to stay attractive is not for women only. Many of us men eat the way we want and we develop chubby bodies with pot belies almost covering our genitals. This type of thing affects our women but they donât want to wound our egos. Worst of all, men love to be on top of women during sex. Which woman enjoys a weight of 120-140 kgs on top of her belly for at least one-hour everyday? You are simply heavy and by the way being that fat also shortens the penis. Ask any frank woman what she likes and she is not going to tell you sheâs happy with a pot belly on her man. Start exercising like me and lose weight. I had to lose 25 kgs of weight early in the year 2015.We have to wonder why God made Adam with a good body which probably had a six-pac. He must have found it necessary for the woman. Your woman longs for that Adamic architecture, and even if you are not able to look like Jean-Claude Van Damme in blood sport, at least have a considerable chest for her to rest on. Women like that. Growing some lawn on it would be an added advantage to some. Which lady doesnât like strong arms, abs, strong legs, lutes, and chest? Even Christian women like that. Just avoid the love-me-as-I-am syndrome. You are not to be like that, you have just allowed yourself to wear a fat body suit over the years. Nobody was born having weight that rivals a rhino. Exercising is like archaeology, it will dig out the real you from that bolt of fat and you will be glad to see how creative God has been about your body. Unveil that masterpiece.

Flexibility, and strength is another thing under product. The less you exercise the less active you can be in bed because sex is just gymnastics coiled around the idea of making love. Of course there is intimacy in sex, otherwise it would not be sex but consensual rape, but there is also physic. Itâs a mind, body and soul thing. I used to be so fat that just going up a bridge in the city was like a sports challenge to me. I remember breathing heavily like a dying horse one day as I got up that bridge. Not only was I fat, my stamina was no better than the strength of a rat. You could almost tell my sex life by the way I got tired over nothing. One day I grew sick and tired of my fat body. I grew sick and tired of being sick and tired... and joined the group that routinely takes walks around the city every evening. I have met men who were so fat in workplaces and fumed every time the elevator in their offices broke down. They enjoyed sedentary lifestyles and yet expected sex from their wives despite their pumpkin bodies. That on its own is sin against marriage.

Women settle for teddy bears because they are good at earning pay and supporting the family. But if they could, they would opt for a strong guy with a well-built body and an ability to care for them. The thing is that guys at the gym who are obsessed with keeping a sexy body are often womanizers. This makes our women settle for teddy bears without necessarily being satisfied. Men, wake up and smell the coffee, your women are greatly tempted to get some muscular, strong pounding but they are held by their Christian faith, tradition, tight security and above all, the love they have for their chubby men. This is simply loyalty at its best. There is no greater loyalty I know, than when a woman sticks to her deliberately shapeless man despite temptations to look outside the matrimonial window.

The other day I went into a bookstore, here was this beautiful woman starring at a picture of a man with a proper male shape. He looked well built. I am brave you know. So I went to the woman and asked her ââdo you like what you see?ââ I didnât even know her, am that social. I can speak to total strangers with ease. Then I further asked if she would love her man to look like that man and the answer was ââyesââ. She told me that a man with a proper body is an added advantage. That very evening, as I was watching the Steve Harvey show, there was this girl on the show who had been looking for a boyfriend in the gym. She says she just loves good bodies but men with well-toned bodies normally play her and arenât willing to do some serious family thing. Men I hope you are listening. Do your thing, hit the gym. In Christendom, we have this problem, wherein young men hurry to look as old as the pastor. They strictly wear formal clothes. No wonder other young people resent Christianity. This book seeks to save young people from being old too soon. Dress like a youth. What is a young person like you doing wearing grey jackets and brown ties? Where is that t-shirt that makes young ladies wish you were theirs? Please get it. Itâs your time to shine and be handsome and noticed. Girls, donât throw that makeup in exchange for a King James Bible coz you need both. You are soon to be a bride, and the bible says when God spoke to Jeremiah, He rhetorically asked, ââdoes a maiden forget her jewellery, a bride her wedding ornaments? Yet my people have forgotten me.ââ (Jeremiah 2:32). ââDoes a maiden forget her wedding ornaments?ââ So why have you forgotten to look like a million bucks sister? Where are your ornaments darling?

Talk about flexibility. Itâs not going to come by prayer. Do some squads and a bit of belly exercises. Do some cardio exercises, at least 30 minutes a day. Sex is sometimes about sweating and thatâs why lazy Sam can hardly do one good round. Research has proven that people who exercise enjoy sex a lot better than those who donât and are more sexually aroused. Why? They have better blood-flow. Remember that men need blood-flow to have an erect penis, and women too need blood flow to the clitoris to experience increased sensitivity.

At least start jogging around the neighborhood every now and then. I have got another book coming soon, known as nutrition 101(maybe it will be out by the time you get a hold of sex and intimacy 101), it will guide you on exercises and dieting. But for now, jog...But still under product appeal, I think for you to sex well you have to eat well. But thatâs for later...we will talk...neh.

For now letâs talk hygiene. Just how do you passionately kiss a man whose breath smells like unkept buttocks or a dead rat? How do you have proper sex when his armpits smell enough to rival a skunk? What about giving a blow-job to someone who has water phobia enough to rival that of the late Steve Jobs?When it comes to sex, men get angry and egocentric and sometimes this makes it hard for ladies to be honest about what they just love to hate when it comes to dirty bodies. And prostitutes will stand whatever comes coz they are charging per round and the customer is always right. Besides prostitutes are faking everything. They are screaming for the sake of it and watching time closely because time is money. There is no oxytocin when it comes to prostitution. Actually, if wives were better in many ways prostitution would be grieving about business going down. I still think that prostitutes wear panties better than those many wives who just donât mind panties that come near boxer shorts in terms of appeal. Prostitutes join gyms when wives assume stress will help them lose weight. Prostitutes open thighs when you have been refusing to have sex with him the whole week. Prostitutes smile when you let hours go by just sulking swallowed in your self-importance and playing hard to get. Itâs wives who are marketing prostitutes, but that aside, some men are just plainly greedy no matter how wonderful a wife can be. They are to blame for this wicked industry that has spread the virus like an atomic bomb. They think they are bulls whose appetite cannot be handled by having one woman. They donât know that God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Eves. They believe all sorts of fables to condone their animal like behavior. They are finished. People like that are just death walking on two legs. Itâs only a matter of time before we sing sad hymns and bury them. Thereâs no way one can be dipping their penis into every vagina and dream of living a long life. Not in this sick world!

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.