Nothing Changes Love

Jacqueline Baird

www.millsandboon.co.uk

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ONE

LEXI opened her eyes and for a moment was completely disorientated. White walls, a narrow bed, white sheets, and the smell...antiseptic!

She moved to sit up, and the full horror of the past night sliced into her heart. She groaned with the unaccustomed pain and dragged herself up to a sitting position, her small hands clutching the white weave of the coverlet.

Her baby, the tiny being growing inside her only twenty-four hours ago, was no more. She had miscarried; after all the expert care and bed rest, nothing had been able to save her precious child. Moisture flooded her violet eyes, and with the back of her hand she brushed it away.

‘Now, now, Lexi, try not to upset yourself too much.’

She looked up at the familiar figure of a Dr Bell, a tall, balding man; he had been her doctor for all her twenty years, but even he had been helpless to prevent her losing her first baby, a boy... She tried to smile but it was a watery effort.

‘Some things in life, child, are just not meant to be.’ He took one of her small hands in his, his world-weary eyes scanning the small, beautiful figure in the bed. He could remember the day she was born, tiny and squalling, with a shock of brilliant red hair. She had developed into a bright, incredibly beautiful young woman and she did not deserve the grief she had borne for the past few years. He had hoped that with her marriage not a year ago her luck had finally turned, but in that it seemed he was mistaken; her high-flying husband had not even bothered to attend the hospital last night, although he had been informed of the imminent loss of the baby.

‘But I so wanted my baby,’ Lexi moaned.

‘It is tragic to lose a baby at fourteen weeks, but there is always a reason, nature’s way of letting us know something is not quite right. But you’re young and perfectly fit; there will be many more babies for you. The important thing is not to worry about it.’

‘If you say so.’ But the flat, toneless quality of her voice told the doctor the poor girl was not convinced.

‘Anyway, that handsome husband of yours will be here shortly. I have spoken to him personally.’

‘Jake knows?’ she queried quietly.

‘Yes, and the two of you together will soon see this as a sad memory, nothing more, once you fill Forest Manor with a few healthy children.’ He smiled and, straightening up, he let go of her hand. ‘Believe me; after all, I am the expert.’

A commotion, raised voices in the corridor outside the small private room, prevented Lexi making any reply. The door swung open and a tall, dark man rushed into the room. Pushing Dr Bell aside, he sat down on the side of the bed, and gathered Lexi’s small hands in his much larger ones.

‘God! Lexi, I’m so sorry, I know how much the baby meant to you; I can’t believe it has happened.’

‘Jake.’ She murmured his name. ‘It wasn’t my fault.’ She wanted to explain, but couldn’t find the words. Her violet eyes roamed over his handsome face, the night-black hair curling haphazardly over his broad brow, as though he had never had time to brush it. His dark eyes that at first glance looked brown but on closer inspection were almost navy blue, were fixed on her small face, the concern in his expression undeniable. Jake, her husband; he looked so dynamic, so vitally alive, and she felt dead inside. An aching void where her child should have been.

‘Shh, darling, don’t try and talk. I’m here now, I will look after you.’

But would he? The question popped into her mind, she did not know from where. Lexi had needed him last night, had cried out for him in her agony, but where had he been? Giving a dinner party for clients...

‘Did your meeting with the Americans, the Stewarts wasn’t it, go well?’ she asked quietly.

Jake sat up straighter, his clasp of her hands loosening. ‘More or less.’

‘Which was it?’ Lexi queried, somehow aware the worried frown marring his brow wasn’t solely for her.

His hand tightened on hers but his smile was forced as he answered. ‘One or two problems, but nothing I can’t handle. Don’t concern yourself, Lexi. Let me worry about the business. The important thing is for you to get better and out of this tiny cottage hospital as quickly as possible.’

‘What kind of problem?’ she asked mechanically.

Jake turned his dark head to Dr Bell and deliberately changed the subject with, ‘I wanted Lexi to go to Harley Street, but she insisted on you, and I want some answers, and I want them now. Why wasn’t I informed last night when this happened?’ And, getting to his feet, Lexi ignored for the moment, the two men stood face to face.

‘According to our records, the sister on duty telephoned the manor at nine last night. You were unavailable at the time, but my sister was assured you would be given the message.’

‘I don’t believe it; I demand to see the administrator, and I’ll make damn sure heads roll for this.’

Lexi closed her eyes briefly, trying to block out the image of a furious Jake, but it was impossible. She looked at him, all six feet plus of bristling male aggression. He was wearing a short-sleeved knit shirt in pale blue that fit snugly across his wide shoulders and broad chest. A black leather belt slung low on his hips supported well-washed denim jeans that clung lovingly to his long, muscular legs. The father of her baby, and yet, when he had arrived, he had said he knew how much the baby meant to her. How she wished he had said, ‘us’, and swept her into his arms; she ached to lay her head on his broad chest and forget yesterday had ever happened.

She tuned back into the conversation in time to hear Dr Bell demand, ‘Do you really think this is the time or the place for this discussion, Mr Taylor?’

Lexi’s bemused gaze went from one man to the other, not sure who to believe; she wanted to believe Jake.

‘You’re right, Dr Bell,’ Jake agreed curtly. ‘But don’t think you have heard the last of this.’

‘Please, Jake,’ she reached out a trembling hand ‘No recriminations, I couldn’t bear it.’

‘Oh, hell! I’m sorry, Lexi,’ and swooping down, at last he cradled her in his strong arms. ‘Forgive me darling, it’s just I’m so angry, I wasn’t here when you needed me. No business deal is worth a fraction of what you mean to me.’ He tilted her head back to look into her bruised eyes. ‘You do know that, darling?’ With one long, tanned finger he traced the soft curve of her cheek, the dark circles under her eyes, then softly his sensuous mouth brushed lightly against hers.

‘Yes, Jake, of course,’ she murmured huskily, her voice thick with tears. But did she? the errant thought flashed in her mind. She glanced up at him and was stunned to see moisture glistening on his thick black lashes.

‘I called last night, after midnight, and they told me you were asleep. If only I’d known.’ His deep voice shook with emotion.

‘It’s all right.’ But he could have asked about the baby; if he weren’t such a workaholic he might have done. She banished the disloyal thought and added, ‘You’re here now and that’s all that matters.’

For a long moment their eyes clung. Pain, regret and deep sorrow; the message passed between them, too agonising to put into words.

‘There will be other children, love.’ Jake cradled her head against his broad shoulder, his strong hand smoothing the wild tangle of red curls back from her face and gently down her back in the age-old gesture of comfort. ‘Cry if you need to, Lexi, let it all out.’ His deep, rich voice murmured soft words of comfort and consolation.

To Lexi it was the care she needed and, held close in Jake’s arms, the familiar scent and feel of him enveloping her, she cried as though her heart would break. Finally, all cried out, she hiccuped and raised swollen red eyes to his handsome face.

‘I’ll be all right now.’

‘We both will be; together we can beat whatever the world throws at us.’ His dark head lowered and his mouth claimed hers in an achingly gentle kiss.

Lexi curled her slender arms around his neck, needing him as never before. His sensuous lips, warm and mobile, moved seductively over hers, his tongue slipping erotically into her mouth. Surprised by his turning the kiss from gentle to passionate, she tensed, inexplicably revolted. Jake groaned against her mouth, a flare of desire sharp and instant tautened his huge frame, and, pulling back, he looked down into her pale face.

‘God! What am I doing? You’re ill, you need rest.’ He pressed her back down against the pillows, and shifted his tall body uncomfortably on the bed. ‘It never fails. From the first day I saw you, I only have to look at you to want you.’ A rueful self-deprecating smile twisted his firm lips. ‘I shall have to learn to control my baser instincts around you, at least for a while,’ he teased lightly.

Lexi attempted a smile, but unsettling questions niggled at the edge of her mind. Was that all Jake wanted from her? A warm body in his bed? Was that all he had ever wanted? Their baby, a mistake!

Half an hour later, after Jake had left, promising to return in the evening, Lexi was informed by Dr Bell that she could leave the next day. She should have been pleased, instead all she felt was a mind-numbing exhaustion and physical weakness that made the thought of leaving the security of the hospital for their apartment and the bustle of the hotel, and the inevitable condolences of the staff, a terrifying prospect.

A deep, drawn-out sigh escaped her. It was so unfair, she thought hopelessly. On Friday afternoon she had been a happy, pregnant mum-to-be. She had driven into York to keep an appointment at four with Dr Bell, just routine, but first she had gone shopping for something glamorous to wear at the dinner party she was hosting the following night with her husband at Forest Manor. The manor, once her childhood home, had been converted by Jake’s property company into a country house hotel. Now only the west wing was home.

Unfortunately, it had started to rain, and, dashing to keep her doctor’s appointment, she had slipped on the wet pavement and fallen. She had jumped to her feet and run on, arriving at the surgery late and rather upset. Dr Bell had examined her, and said she was spotting a little, and insisted she stay in the local hospital for a day or two just as a precaution.

Lexi, slightly in awe of her sophisticated, dynamic husband, had dreaded telling him. She knew Jake was hoping to make a deal with Mr Stewart, an American tycoon who owned, among other things, his own airline, along with a tour firm that ran regular trips to England. Jake had explained that if Mr Stewart agreed to use the new Forest Manor hotel as a regular stop for his clients, the hotel was assured of being at least half-full all year, even if it never got another customer. A great deal if Jake could get it.

She need not have worried, because Jake had arrived on the Friday night from London and been a tower of strength, telling her not to worry, his PA, Lorraine, could host the party and all Lexi had to do was look after herself and the baby.

Lexi turned restlessly on the narrow bed. How could life change so drastically from Friday to Sunday? All her hopes and dreams squashed by a wet pavement. It seemed so pointless...

‘Come on, Mrs Taylor. Cheer up.’ The sister who had attended her the night before walked in. ‘You’re young, and time heals all wounds. I know you don’t think so at the minute, but it is true. And it’s also true that I did ring your home last night; a woman answered and promised to give your husband the message.’

Lexi looked at the sister, and she knew Jake’s hand was in the unsolicited statement somewhere.

‘The young woman sounded supremely efficient; I never doubted for a moment she would pass the message on.’

It could only have been Lorraine, Lexi thought resignedly. ‘It’s all right, Sister, I believe you. My husband has been in this morning. Everything is fine.’

‘I wish you would tell him that.’

Lexi heard the sister mutter under her breath as she left the room, and felt sorry for her. Lexi knew personally just how intimidating Jake could be if he thought he had been wronged in any way. She still shuddered to think of the way he had dismissed the foreman on the hotel project last Christmas, frog-marching the man to his car and tossing his gear in with him. Jake was not the sort of man one argued with. Lexi had never tried; far too much in love with him, she would do anything to appease him.

Now, why did that thought make her feel even more depressed? she mused. Maybe losing the baby had made her realise once again how fragile life was, and question her slavish acceptance to everything Jake said or did. She tossed her head to dispel the unsettling notion, and the bedroom door swung open to reveal what looked like a walking basket of flowers.

The junior nurse dropped it on the floor with a sigh of relief and a huge smile. ‘Somebody out there loves you,’ she teased.

Lexi eyed the huge basket with wonder. Masses of roses tastefully arranged with babies’ breath and the message on the card was simple. ‘Love always, Jake.’ The briefest of smiles curved her lips. Just like him: larger than life.

Alone once more, Lexi turned over on to her side, her violet eyes fixed firmly on the flowers. The aching sense of loss was still there, but somehow it did not seem quite so devastating, as long as she had Jake. She smiled softly remembering the first time they met, perhaps it was the mind’s way of dealing with a hurt too hard to face, she mused, as she drifted in a dream-state, recalling the past in minute detail. At nineteen years of age, and having just completed her first-year exams in languages at St Mary’s college, London, Lexi had been called back to her home, Forest Manor, because of her father’s sudden death. Her mother had died three years earlier, only weeks after her father had retired from the Diplomatic Corps. Laughtons had for generations entered the foreign service, and between postings lived in Yorkshire.

The house was a beautiful old stone-built manor. E-shaped, with mullioned windows, oak floors and beautiful hand-carved panelling and situated seven miles from the cathedral city of York, mid-way between the tiny villages of Sand Hutton and Stockton-on-the-Forest.

But on the death of her father his substantial pension had ceased, and the lawyer had informed Lexi that his personal debts were quite large. As one of the Lloyds names her father had enjoyed a good private income for years, but a few years previously he had changed syndicates hoping to make even bigger profits. Unfortunately the reverse had happened, and Lexi had had no alternative but to put the house and its extensive parkland on the market to cover the debt.

Lexi turned over on to her back and stared sightlessly up at the blank white ceiling. It seemed incredible to believe it was under a year since she had first met Jake. She felt as if she had known him a lifetime, so much had happened.

* * *

It was a beautiful July day. Lexi waited in the entrance porch of her home, and watched as a sleek black car drew to a halt in front of the door and the tall figure of a man stepped out.

‘Mr Taylor?’ she queried as the man bounded up the stone steps to stop only inches away from her.

‘Yes, and you must be Alexandra Laughton. Your solicitor said you were young, but he didn’t mention beautiful.’

‘Lexi, please. No one calls me Alexandra,’ she said nervously and blushed scarlet, embarrassed by his frank compliment, and also by the overpowering effect the man had on her. He looked about thirty, and was dressed in a plain white shirt, dark tie and an immaculate three-piece business suit, the jacket stretched taut across broad shoulders and a massive chest. His hair was black and thick, and his face alert and hard. There was no mistaking the fierce predatory expression on his roughly hewn features. A broad forehead, deep dark eyes, high cheek bones and a straight blade of a nose above a wide, firm mouth. His skin was the colour of polished mahogany.

‘I’m afraid I’m in rather a hurry. So, shall we proceed?’ he said briskly, all business.

‘Y-yes. Yes, of course,’ she stammered, leading him into the panelled entrance hall. ‘You’re very brown. Are you English?’ God! Where had that come from? She cringed; it was totally out of character for Lexi to pass personal comments and she turned red with embarrassment. ‘Please...’

To her surprise he started to laugh and, catching one of her small hands in his, he said, ‘Jake Taylor, luv... Born within the sound of the Bow Bells. A cockney, a tanned cockney, though I believe my father was a foreigner.’ He drawled the last word teasingly.

He was laughing at her but she could not blame him; so far she had not managed to make much sense. Lexi shook her head in a vain attempt to clear her brain, and her long red hair spun around her face in a glittering cloud before settling back on her slender shoulders. She had dressed with care, expecting the first prospective buyer for the house, in a plain, shirt-style straight-skirted cream summer-dress. She had added a minimum of make-up to her golden skin; she was one of those very rare redheads with a skin that actually tanned. Her full lips were carefully outlined in a soft coral lip gloss and a touch of mascara on her long lashes completed her make-up and she’d thought she appeared quite adult, until this man had looked at her.

‘I’m sorry, that was presumptuous of me. Please, follow me, and I’ll show you around.’ Her violet eyes met his once more, and she felt the intensity of his gaze to the soles of her feet. She again shook her head, but nothing could clear her mind and she spent the next hour leading him around the half-dozen reception rooms, up the grand staircase, all around the upper floors until finally they arrived back in the hall with Lexi still in a bemused state.

‘Are you free for the rest of the day?’

‘What? Oh, yes.’ Lexi had to get her brain in gear, but it seemed to be an impossibility. ‘But why?’ she asked, standing once more in the front porch. Common sense told her he should leave: he was too dynamic, too male, and certainly too sophisticated for her. She felt oddly threatened by him, but her foolishly fast-beating heart wanted him to stay.

‘Good. I had only allowed an hour for our meeting; now I think I’ll make a day of it and you can show me around the countryside, then I can get the feel of the place. You understand.’

She didn’t understand at all, but her heart leapt in her breast at the prospect of spending the whole day with the man. Before she could agree or disagree Jake had ushered her into his car and slid in beside her. He made a call on the car-phone to someone called Lorraine, who seemed less than pleased at his extended visit, Lexi thought, then he turned to her.

‘Now, I am your willing tourist until late this evening, or, if you prefer, tomorrow morning.’ And, flicking her a blatantly sensual smile, he asked, ‘Which way to Castle Howard? I’ve heard it’s worth seeing.’

The faint spicy tang of his aftershave teased her nostrils, and for some reason his sexy grin appeared to heighten her awareness of him in a way no other man had ever managed to do before. She was not a complete innocent; she had a good social life at college and she had had her fair share of dates, but Jake Taylor was something else again, and she found the emotion he aroused in her enthralling.

Twenty minutes later they were driving up the impressive drive through the entrance gates and into the large field-like car park of Castle Howard.

‘Good, it’s near your place,’ she heard Jake murmur as he helped her out of the car, his eyes darting all around, taking everything in.

Jake flung a casual arm around her shoulders. ‘I think this might just be the clincher,’ he opined and, paying the admission fee, urged Lexi through to the courtyard while she was still trying to fathom out what he meant.

For the next few hours she walked around in a dream. Jake strode around the elegant house, his hand never leaving her shoulder as he talked non-stop to her, pointing out the things that really grabbed his interest, from the magnificent domed roof in the grand hall, unique in all of England, to the quaint child’s high chair. Castle Howard was magnificent: the furnishings, the restoration, works of art—everything about the place was exquisite. A superb example of eighteenth-century architecture, it was built by the Third Earl of Carlisle, and to the present day was still owned by the same family of Howards. Lexi had visited many times before, but today the awesome grandeur of the place was overwhelmed by her intense awareness of her companion.

To Lexi’s surprise Jake seemed almost as impressed by the wide variety of tourists—Americans and Japanese rubbed shoulders with continentals—as he was with the house itself, and finally, when they walked back outside into the summer sunshine and strolled around the extensive grounds, Jake had no compunction in striking up conversations with dozens of people, while Lexi looked around at the wonderful landscape, long lawns, magnificent lakes, summer house, and, high on one hill, the family mausoleum. It wasn’t hard to see, she thought, why it had achieved worldwide recognition as the location for the television serial Brideshead Revisited. Perched on the Howardian Hills, it had to be one of the best stately homes in England.

‘Penny for your thoughts.’

She looked up and smiled into Jake’s darkly handsome face. ‘They aren’t worth much, but I am hungry,’ she stated. ‘Walking gives me an appetite.’

‘You give me an appetite,’ Jake growled huskily and, before she realised his intention, he had turned her into his arms, and brushed his hard mouth gently across her full lips. It was like being touched by lightning; a shiver trembled the length of her spine and her full lips parted helplessly beneath his. The breath hissed out of him. ‘God!’ he exclaimed, as he broke the kiss.

He held her away from him, studying her flushed, bemused face. ‘I’ve been aching to do that from the minute I set eyes on you. You have a very unsettling effect on me, little girl. But this is not the place.’ Knowing full well how he affected her, he grinned reassuringly down into her wide violet eyes, and, curving her arm under his, led her back to the car.

She wasn’t used to a handsome sophisticated man like Jake flirting with her and, during the journey to the city of York where Jake had insisted they visit next, she couldn’t think of a word to say. But somehow the atmosphere between them was a companionable one, and by the time they arrived in York and found the car park Lexi had recovered some of her poise.

It seemed quite natural to walk hand in hand around the mighty cathedral, and then follow the narrow streets around the Shambles. Finally, they ended up in a small French restaurant with the original name of Number 19 Grape Lane, and, over a lovely meal of pan-fried salmon on a bed of pasta in a red wine sauce—Jake’s choice—he enthusiastically explained his plan for Forest Manor. He wanted to buy it and turn it into a hotel, and shrewdly he asked her if she would take it off the market for a week or two while he had a feasibility study carried out.

He could have knocked it down for all Lexi cared; for the first time in her life she was in love. Hopelessly, helplessly in love. Her gaze lingered on his striking features as he set out his ideas for the conversion; he looked years younger as, with a sheepish grin, he ended with, ‘Sorry, I can get quite boring when I start discussing business.’

‘No, you’re fascinating,’ she said softly, and the deepening gleam in his dark eyes set her heart ablaze. Jake was everything she had ever dreamed of in a man, and best of all he appeared to feel the same way, if the goodnight kiss he pressed on her lips when they parted at her door was anything to go by, and his promise to return the next day.

The only slight hiccup in her headlong flight into love was her solicitor. On Monday morning she called Mr Travis and told him what had happened and that she did not want anyone else viewing the house for a while. Mr Travis was not convinced it was the right thing to do, and insisted he had friends in the city and a few discreet enquiries were called for. Taylor Holdings was not a company he was familiar with, nor did he know much about Jake Taylor; the sensible course was to check out Jake’s financial position—after all there were a lot of time-wasters in the housing market. Lexi reluctantly bowed to his superior judgement, while not for one moment doubting Jake.

How could she, when they had spent a wonderful Sunday together and she was expecting him back again on Monday?

At the sound of the car drawing up Lexi dashed out of the front door to welcome Jake. Her step faltered when she saw he was not alone. A stunning brunette was hanging on to his arm. He introduced her as Lorraine, his PA and right-hand man, but Lexi saw the possessive gleam in the other woman’s eyes, and her heart plummeted in her breast. But she need not have worried...

Jake, accurately reading her mind, shrugged off Lorraine’s hand and, stepping forward, pulled Lexi into his arms and kissed her thoroughly, then whispered, a hint of laughter in his deep voice, ‘Strictly an employee, little one; you’re the only woman for me, understand?’ And she did...

Lexi turned a beaming smile on the other woman, and quite happily fell in with Jake’s suggestion that she show Lorraine around while he made a couple of phone calls; he would catch them up in a few minutes.

Leading Lorraine from one room to the next, Lexi, her jealous fear dispelled, chattered on quite freely, virtually giving Lorraine her life history, and learning in return that the other woman had known Jake from school and had worked for him almost six years. By the time they were viewing the bedrooms, Lexi was feeling quite at ease with the other woman.

‘This is a lovely house, and I can see why Jake is interested. But I’m surprised you want to sell it.’ Lorraine offered a question in her tone.

‘I don’t, not really.’ Lexi grinned back at her. ‘But unless I marry a millionaire real quick I have no choice,’ she joked, but she did not see the contemptuous glint in Lorraine’s eyes as she led her back out into the hall and down the grand staircase.

‘You never considered working, but then your sort never do, born with a silver spoon in your mouth.’

Lexi’s head swung around in surprise at the sneering resentment in Lorraine’s voice, but before she could answer Jake was with them. The conversation became general, and she put the unsettling comment from her mind.

She was reminded of it abruptly a week later. The next weekend Jake asked her to marry him and Lexi ecstatically accepted. Only to have Lorraine telephone her on the Monday as soon as she heard the news.

‘You think you’re clever Miss Laughton. “Marry a millionaire real quick,” you said. But I’ve heard of your solicitor Mr Travis’s enquiries, and when I tell Jake everything he will be far from pleased. No one has ever questioned Jake Taylor’s financial viability; the last thing he needs is his merchant bank asking questions because some gold-digging little hick from the sticks is looking for a wealthy husband. I wouldn’t count on marrying him if I were you.’

Lexi did not know what she said in reply—she was too shocked at the other woman’s allegations. But she could not deny she had jokingly made the comment about marrying a millionaire. Later, when Lexi repeated the conversation to Jake and explained about her teasing comment, he dismissed her fear, saying that he understood Lorraine! She had a chip on her shoulder due to her upbringing along with a suspicious nature, but there was no way she would ever convince him that Lexi was anything other than a beautiful, pure young woman who had agreed to be his wife. After reinforcing his opinion with a long, sweet kiss he added that Lorraine was a great PA—loyal to a fault, but a bit over-protective where his business interests were concerned. As for Mr Travis checking his credit rating, it was no more than any efficient lawyer would do for his client, and she was not to worry; nothing could prevent their marriage.

They were married in a civil ceremony at the register office in York, three weeks from the day they met, and flew off to Paris for a brief honeymoon.

Lexi stirred restlessly in the narrow hospital bed. It had been so beautiful. August in Paris—sparkling blue skies, and by night, dinner at Maxim’s and back to an exquisite little hotel overlooking the river Seine and Notre-Dame.

Jake laughingly carried her over the threshold of the suite and slid her gently to her feet. ‘Ready for our dirty weekend, Miss Laughton?’ he teased, as he kicked the door closed behind him. Lexi smiled and laughed with him.

They had arrived at Heathrow airport and Jake had presented the tickets to the check-in clerk, to be informed that Lexi’s passport was in the name of Miss Laughton, while the tickets were in the names of Mrs and Mrs Taylor. The only way she had been allowed on the plane was by Jake changing her ticket back into her maiden name. Jake had thought it was a huge joke, but Lexi had cringed with embarrassment, even more so when Jake had handed the passports to the hotel receptionist, while taking the key for the honeymoon suite. She was sure everyone must think she was a woman of easy virtue. Jake had howled with laughter and called her old-fashioned.

‘The first thing I’m going to do when we get back is change my passport,’ Lexi said with a chuckle. Later she was to be glad she didn’t...

Jake gathered her into his arms, and with a husky growl declared, ‘At last you are mine, and mine alone for always, my beautiful, gorgeous girl. My wife.’ She knew no document could bind her more surely to her husband than the love she felt for him.

With gentle hands he removed the turquoise silk dress she wore, sliding it down over her hips to pool in a pale cloud at her feet, all the while pressing tiny kisses to her eyes, her face, her throat.

Sighing, she wrapped her slender arms around his broad shoulders, quivers of sensation darting through her body as she melted helplessly in his hold. He was her husband, her love, and she wanted him with every fibre of her being.

Tenderly, he swung her into his arms and carried her from the sitting-room to the bedroom and carefully laid her down on the huge, old-fashioned four-poster bed. She stared up at him, her love and longing highlighting the pure beauty of her fine features.

Jake, his blue eyes darkened to almost black, reverently bent over her and removed the slight wisps of lace that passed as her underwear and she felt her whole body blush, suddenly overcome with shyness and an unexpected, virginal fear.

‘You’re my wife, my love; I will never hurt you, I promise,’ Jake said throatily, while he quickly divested himself of his clothes.

A gasp of sheer female appreciation escaped Lexi’s softly parted lips. Jake was magnificent; she couldn’t help staring. His broad shoulders gleamed like polished mahogany in the dim light of the bedside lamp, the musculature of his chest was somehow exaggerated by the downy covering of black hair that arrowed down over his flat stomach to brush out at the apex of his thighs. Her blush deepened as she realised he was fully aroused. She closed her eyes, and felt his lips brush across her mouth.

‘Don’t be afraid.’ He kissed her long and slow. ‘Trust me, my darling.’ And she did, as his long body covered hers.

When he finally took possession of her pulsating form with one quick thrust, a brief pain was swiftly overtaken by sheer ecstasy. ‘Jake.’ She cried his name, and her love for him, as they reached the pinnacle together as one. Afterwards, Jake murmured husky rasping avowals of love as he buried his face in her throat...

* * *

Slowly, she opened her eyes, a soft sensuous smile curving her lips ‘Jake.’ Her violet eyes, the lingering traces of sensuality clearly visible, fastened on the dark face looming above her. She stretched up a small hand, and then blinked. He was wearing a sweater... She closed her eyes for a second and it all came flooding back. Jake was sitting on the side of her bed. She was in hospital. The smile vanished from her face. Her baby gone...

‘Lexi, are you all right?’

‘Yes, yes, I’m fine. I was asleep,’ she murmured and, pulling herself up the bed, she sat up.

‘Lorraine sends her apologies,’ Jake said abruptly. ‘Apparently she took the message last night when Stewart and I were in the study. She forgot to tell me afterwards with the pressure of discussing some—’ he hesitated, his mouth twisting grimly ‘—slight alterations Mr Stewart suggested. I know I should fire her for it, and I will if you say so. But I feel it was partly my fault. The discussion became quite heated, and Lorraine isn’t like other women. She would never forget a business message, but anything else she doesn’t see as important.’

‘Don’t fire her for my sake, Jake,’ Lexi responded quietly. She knew Lorraine did not like her, hadn’t from the beginning when she’d tried to convince Jake that Lexi was only after his money and that he was making a mistake in marrying her. ‘Tell her I accept her apology.’ She looked up and saw Jake was looking somewhere over her left shoulder, his expression oddly evasive, and she wondered, not for the first time, just what relationship Jake had with his PA.

‘You’re very generous, Lexi. I’ve done some investigating today and I should have asked about the baby last night, when I phoned, but I assumed it was all right, while the young nurse I spoke to assumed I already knew you had lost it.’

‘It.’ He called their baby ‘it’. How could he be so insensitive? ‘It doesn’t matter, as long as your business was successful, all is not lost,’ she said with a biting sarcasm that was wasted as Jake glanced down, and leaning forward, kissed her lightly on the lips.

‘Thank you, Lexi, you’re very forgiving. I want you to get better and come home. I miss you.’ His dark eyes searched her still pale face. ‘Everything will be fine, I promise.’ And, lifting one long finger, trailed it down her cheek. ‘How about a smile, hmm?’

‘I’ll be coming home tomorrow,’ she offered with a pitiful attempt at a smile.

‘Good, and perhaps now you can return to London and college, if you like.’

Lexi felt like screaming. When they were first married they had lived in London and Jake had suggested she stay at home, saying she had no need for a degree in languages, he would give her a degree in love instead. Many a lunchtime he dashed back to the apartment and they spent hours in bed. Or they drove up to Yorkshire to oversee the renovations on the manor. Then, when the hotel had been completed by the Easter, they moved permanently to Yorkshire, Jake saying he could work as easily from his study in the apartment. Lorraine could look after the London office. The new apartment was a delight, and Lexi had quite happily spent the past months helping out in the hotel reception.

But had she been happy, she suddenly questioned, or had the feeling of resentment towards Jake started long before she lost the baby? When only weeks after having her pregnancy confirmed Jake suddenly, because of ‘pressure of business’ he had said, took to spending all week in London, returning to Yorkshire only at the weekends, while insisting she stay in the country; it was better for her, he had said, as a mum-to-be.

Now Jake was calmly suggesting she go back to London and college as though nothing had happened.

She hid her anger and resentment as he arranged to collect her the next day and kissed her goodbye. But after he had left it hit her. Jake had avoided telling her whether his deal of the previous night was successful or not. But then he had been very evasive the last few weeks about his business; no doubt Lorraine would know!

Lexi wondered yet again how close her husband and Lorraine were. On their honeymoon Lexi had asked Jake if he had ever had an affair with his PA and Jake had said ‘Good God, no!’ and burst out laughing, but Lexi had never been able to see the joke...

CHAPTER TWO

LEXI, dressed in the same blue jeans and soft T-shirt she had worn on Friday before her accident, was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed waiting for her husband. The necessary discharge papers had been signed an hour ago. She glanced out of the window for the hundredth time; the sun was rising high in the sky, embracing the utilitarian lines of the hospital building in a rosy glow, but its warmth could not pierce the coldness in Lexi’s heart.

Jake entered the room in a rush, full of apologies for the delay. ‘Sorry, darling, Lorraine and I were tied up on a conference call. You would not believe the inefficiency of the telecommunications here. We were disconnected half a dozen times.’ He frowned. ‘In today’s climate of recession, speed and efficiency are essential to sustain success.’

Did it matter? she wondered bleakly as five minutes later she was comfortably seated in Jake’s car as he eased it out of the hospital gates.

‘Lorraine has arranged for Meg to come in every day for the next week or two.’ He shot her a quick sideways glance. ‘I don’t want you doing anything at all until you are completely recovered.’

Lorraine seemed to be arranging an awful lot in her life lately, Lexi thought bitterly, and was stung into replying, ‘She needn’t have bothered. What is there to recover from? I’ve had a miscarriage, not lost a limb. In fact, the quicker I can get back into Reception and working, the better I’ll like it.’ Lexi knew she was being deliberately antagonistic, but she couldn’t help it. It was either anger or tears, and she had cried enough to last a lifetime.

‘Lexi, please. Lorraine was only trying to help, to make up for forgetting the message the other night. You’re in shock, you need...’

‘Jake,’ she cut in, ‘I know what I need and it is to get back to normal as quickly as possible. So please, just leave me alone.’ And she wished flaming Lorraine would vanish in a puff of smoke...

The car came to an abrupt halt outside the entrance to their private wing. Jake turned towards her, his eyes narrowed faintly as they took in her pale, determined expression. ‘You need a rest.’ And before she could protest he had lifted her from the car and carried her into the house and up to their bedroom, and laid her gently on the bed.

‘The doctor told me to be prepared for rapid mood swings, darling, and you can complain as much as you like but you will do as I say,’ he commanded arrogantly, and then he leant over her and brushed his lips along her brow. ‘Is there anything you want?’

Her baby back...but the words were never said as, wretched, she flopped back against the pillow, listless and lifeless. A faint sigh left her lips. ‘No, I’m fine. I’ll join you downstairs later.’

‘Good girl.’ He straightened, his dark eyes smiling compassionately down at her. ‘We will have other children, Lexi. We have plenty of time.’

She managed a weak smile, but, for the first time since meeting Jake, she was actually relieved to see him leave the room.

Meg, bless her, was all sympathy with Lexi as she woke her with a cup of tea and the information that dinner was almost ready. Lexi smiled weakly at the small, grey-haired woman who had been the daily at Forest Manor as long as she could remember.

‘Nothing ever seems to work right for me in this house, does it, Meg? My mother died here, my father, and now my baby. Maybe if I had stayed in London and never come back here I wouldn’t have lost my baby.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Meg said shortly. ‘Losing a baby has nothing to do with where one lives. You’re just clutching at straws, my girl. Now come on, up, dressed, and down, and look after that husband of yours. We don’t want that black-eyed witch latching on to him, now, do we?’

Lexi chuckled. Meg’s opinion of Jake’s PA was on a par with her own. The woman might be tall and sophisticated and a brilliant businesswoman, but she gave Lexi the creeps, and, even though Jake denied any involvement with her, Lexi had a suspicion that it wasn’t for the want of trying by Lorraine...

Sitting at the dinner-table half an hour later with Jake and Lorraine was hardly a relaxing experience. Although Jake made a great effort to keep the conversation flowing, Lexi found it increasingly difficult to answer in anything but monosyllables, until the other two began discussing a Docklands development Jake was involved in, and Lexi was no longer required to speak at all.

Lorraine, as if forgetting Lexi’s presence altogether, became quite explicit. ‘Really, Jake, you have to decide if you want the deal and go for it. A conference call is not going to do the trick. You’ll have to be in London tomorrow at the latest.’

‘Not now, Lorraine.’ Jake said curtly, shooting the dark woman a warning glance, and, turning to Lexi, added, ‘I’m staying here. Don’t worry, darling.’

‘Please, Jake,’ Lexi pleaded softly, she could sense the undercurrent in the air there was something going on she knew nothing about, and right at the moment she did not care. ‘I’ll be OK with Meg, in fact I think I would like to be on my own for a while. If you’re needed in London I really think you should go.’

‘No way.’ He reached across the table and caught her small hand in his. ‘You need me.’

The tenderness in his gaze was almost Lexi’s undoing, her lips began to tremble but with a great effort of will she pulled her hand free. ‘I’d rather you went, honestly, Jake.’

‘That’s settled, then.’ Lorraine spoke up. ‘You’re being over-protective, Jake. I’ll get back to London after dinner and set up a meeting for tomorrow.’

Jake’s dark eyes caught Lexi’s, a query in their depths. ‘You’ve had a very traumatic emotional experience; you need my support.’

His support was a little late in coming, Lexi thought bitterly. He had barely mentioned their child. It had been a boy. Did Jake know that? She had no idea. The same as she had no idea what perverse sense of justice was motivating her angry resentment.

Lexi looked into her husband’s dark, serious face and wanted to reach out to him and beg him to stay, hold her, comfort her, but somewhere deep inside she felt an aching guilt. It was her fault she had lost their baby; she did not deserve the tender loving care in his eyes; she had failed him in the one thing a woman should give her husband, and, because of that, the very least she could do by recompense was not get in the way of his business. She glanced across at Lorraine and saw the impatience in the other woman’s eyes.

‘Really, Jake. Lexi has only had a miscarriage. It happens to women every day and they get over it. In fact, it might be a blessing in disguise. We are going to be frightfully busy over the next few months. You wouldn’t have much time for a child just now. Next year would be much better.’

Lexi couldn’t believe the insensitivity of Lorraine, but she did catch a glimpse of something that looked very much like relief in her husband’s eyes, just before he exploded.

‘For God’s sake, Lorraine. Keep your bloody opinions to yourself,’ Jake swore violently. ‘You might be a brilliant businesswoman, but in the feminine stakes we both know you’re a non-starter. Can’t you see you’re upsetting Lexi? How can you be so heartless? It was my child as well...’

‘Sorry-y.’ Lorraine drawled and, pushing back her chair left the table. ‘If I’m driving back to London tonight, I’d better get started. Give me a ring at home later and tell me what you decide.’ And she left the room.

Lexi, with head bowed, pushed the remains of her chicken chasseur around her plate, too choked to speak. She felt a hard hand curve around her shoulder and looked up. Jake had walked around behind her and was leaning over her.

‘I’m sorry, Lexi. Ignore Lorraine. She’s a great PA but home and family are of no importance to her. She doesn’t mean to be callous, she just doesn’t think unless it is business... Come on, I’ll take you back upstairs.

‘I can manage on my own.’

‘I know, darling, but indulge me, hmmm?’ And lifting her to her feet he swung her up into his strong arms, his deep blue eyes riveted on her own. ‘I don’t like feeling helpless, Lexi, and losing our baby has left me that way.’

She felt the tears fill her eyes. Jake was hurting just the same as her, and she made no demur when he carried her back to the bedroom.

Gently he let her slide down the long length of him, linking his arms behind her back and holding her steady against his hard body for a long moment. She let her head drop against his chest and felt the firm, steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek, and found it oddly reassuring.

‘I’ll always be here for you, Lexi, you know that, don’t you?’

She raised her face to his. ‘Yes. Yes, I know, but Lorraine is right. I’ll be fine; your business is important in London, please go.’ And, forcing a smile to her soft lips, she teased, ‘After all, you will only be a telephone call away, and surely British Telecom can get a single call right.’

‘Shhh, sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.’ His dark head swooped and his firm lips covered hers in a gentle kiss. ‘Everything will work out,’ he murmured against her mouth. ‘But now get into bed, and rest. I’ll join you later.’

Lexi turned away and, slipping out of her clothes, she headed for the bathroom. Everything would work out. Jake had said so...but somehow, for the first time since her marriage, she wasn’t quite so sure.

A couple of hours later, Lexi woke from a light, troubled doze to the sight of Jake striding across the room from the bathroom, completely naked. Her violet eyes slid over his hard-muscled body almost with dislike. He was perfect, so alive, all virile male, but her son was dead and she felt a failure.

When he slid into bed beside her and drew her into his arms, she didn’t offer any resistance, needing his protective embrace, until she realised, with something very like disgust as he folded her into the heat of his body, a hard thigh over her slender limbs, that he was sexually aroused. She pushed him away with an angry snort. ‘My God, Jake. How can you?’

‘Hush, Lexi, I don’t want to do anything, just hold you, but you know you always have this effect on me. You don’t have to do anything: a look, a smile, you just have to be there and my body reacts...and it has been a few empty nights without you,’ he drawled softly, adding, ‘Just lie still and soon I’ll relax.’

She tilted her small head back and looked up into his shadowy features, barely visible in the moon’s silvery light beaming through the window. His dark eyes burned down into hers, a sensual, teasing gleam in their indigo depths. ‘Unless, of course, you want to help me relax,’ he murmured throatily, kissing her softly parted lips.

She knew exactly what he meant; until she had become pregnant they had enjoyed a full, totally erotic sensual relationship. He had taught her everything she knew about sex and also how to please him, but in the circumstances she found it distasteful, and, pushing herself out of his arms, she slid to the far side of the bed.

‘My God! Surely you can control your insatiable appetite for once? You disgust me.’ She felt the instant tension in his large body at her words but she didn’t care if she had hurt him. She was hurting too much herself.

‘I was only teasing, Lexi, trying to cheer you up. This is as hard for me as it is for you, darling, and I don’t know how to handle it.’

‘Try using the spare bedroom,’ she said curtly. ‘I need my sleep.’

‘Do you mean that?’ He sat up in bed, his hands grasping her slender shoulders and pinning her to the bed. ‘Is that really what you want? You know I’ll do anything to make it easier for you.’

It wasn’t what she wanted; she wanted to be held in his arms and sleep with her head on his chest, have him tell her how much he loved her, tell her it wasn’t her fault they had lost the baby, but she couldn’t say any of those things. Instead, in a small, tight voice, she looked straight up into his puzzled eyes and said, ‘Yes, I would prefer to be alone, if you don’t mind.’ She noticed the flash of pain in his expression before he quickly controlled it.

‘Dr Bell said to pamper you, so all right.’ His dark head lowered and she knew he was going to kiss her but deliberately she turned her head away and his lips brushed her cheek. ‘Goodnight, darling,’ he said softly. She felt him leave the bed and a few seconds’ silence before the door closed with a soft thump.

What had she done? And why? She didn’t know. The huge bed was lonely without Jake, and slowly the tears trickled down her cheeks. She didn’t recognise the person she had become, and, as she sank into an exhausted sleep, her tired mind gave up trying to find an answer.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Lexi seemed to move through the days in a world of her own. Oh, she functioned all right on a purely practical level, but on an emotional level she was numb, haunted by guilt because she had lost the child. Not even Jake could get through to her.

The first morning back at Forest Manor, he had been all concern, refusing to leave for London, until on the Wednesday evening he insisted on taking her out to dinner, trying to cheer her up. They dined at Number 19 Grape Lane in York, the first place they had ever shared a meal together, but the exquisite food tasted like sawdust in her mouth, and she heaved a sigh of relief when Jake finally suggested returning home.

As she slipped her nightdress over her head, a soft confection of satin and lace, Jake walked into the bedroom. She lifted her head, and eyed him across the wide expanse of the large bed. He was fresh from the shower, his dark hair slicked back across his proud head, his body gleaming golden, naked except for a short white towel slung around his hips, his long sinewy legs planted slightly apart. He looked like every woman’s dream of a lover, but to Lexi he appeared as a threat to her blessed numb state. She watched wary-eyed as he walked around the bed to stand in front of her.

His strong hands curved around her upper arms and he eased her towards him. ‘Lexi, we have to talk. You’ve slept alone long enough; it’s becoming a habit.’

She tensed her body rigid in his hold.

‘Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart. I know it is too soon for lovemaking.’

‘How thoughtful,’ she snapped curtly.

‘Give me some credit, Lexi, but you have to understand, separate beds are not the answer to your problem. You need care and comfort.’ His dark head bent towards her.

‘Not now,’ she said starkly, and watched as Jake’s proud head reared back.

‘Then when, Lexi? You hardly talk any more.’

‘I do, I worked in Reception today for a couple of hours, and thoroughly enjoyed it.’ And she had. Jake had been working in his study and she had walked through to the hotel just as a party of French tourists arrived. She had felt quite animated for a while, getting back to work.

‘You can talk to strangers, but not to your husband?’ he queried silkily, his mask of concern slipping to reveal his frustration. ‘For God’s sake, Lexi, you have to snap out of it.’ His fingers dug into her flesh and she winced, her head lifting fractionally in time to catch the flare of frightening anger in his dark eyes, quickly controlled.

‘It’s hard, I know, Lexi, but we have to try and forget. When I first met you the one thing I noticed, above your beauty and your voluptuous little body—’ his dark eyes swept lingeringly over her from head to toe and then back to her upturned face ‘—was your eager appetite for life, your vibrancy; don’t let this one set-back knock all the life out of you. I want my wife back as she was. I want us to get back to normal as quickly as possible,’ he declared frustratedly.

‘If what you say is true,’ she opined with remarkable calm, considering his naked chest was scraping gently against the delicate fabric of her nightgown over her softly rounded breasts, ‘I think you should return to London tomorrow. After all, for the past couple of months you’ve worked in the city all week, only returning home at weekends. That’s normal for us.’ Her huge violet eyes held his gaze and she watched his eyes darken almost to jet, feeling the tension in his hard body. She thought she heard him murmur, ‘I need you,’ but she must have been mistaken as, with a faint sigh, Jake slid his hands up her throat and cupped her small face.

‘Yes, whatever you want.’ And, holding her head steady, he closed his firm, sensuous mouth over hers in a hard, possessive kiss. He straightened abruptly. ‘And God knows the business certainly needs me, even if you don’t.’ And he left, a defeated slant to his broad shoulders.

After that night, Jake returned to the London apartment and his head office, and Lexi slipped into a regular routine: she worked a few hours every day in Reception, and at weekends Jake returned home.

He took her out for dinner, and to the theatre in York; he even insisted on them spending a day at Castle Howard, but nothing could snap her out of her lethargy, and the separate bedrooms remained... Meg tried as well, warning her that she was a fool to leave her husband alone with the lovely Lorraine all week—she was just asking for trouble. But Lexi refused to listen. If Jake slept with Lorraine, it was no more than she had always suspected, she told herself, and refused to admit there was anything wrong.

She worked, didn’t she? So what if she was a bit quiet? Surely it was allowed after all she had suffered. And she wrapped her grief around her like a shroud.

* * *

Lexi opened her eyes slowly and turned over in the large bed, just for a second she felt a pang of something like regret that Jake’s hard masculine body wasn’t there beside her. She sighed deeply and, pushing the tangled mass of her flame-coloured hair from her small face, she stretched and sat up. She looked around the room. A few short months ago, when the renovations were first finished, this room had been her pride and joy; she had chosen the decoration, a soft blend of peaches and cream saved from being too feminine by the heavy antique mahogany furniture. The summer sun streamed through the window, dancing into every little nook and cranny. It was a gorgeous summer day, and then she remembered the date—it was a Wednesday, her day for a check-up with Dr Bell, but also it was the day before her first wedding anniversary.

Dr Bell took one look at her and demanded to know what was wrong. Lexi broke down and told him: her guilt over losing the baby, her distaste for sex, even her suspicion that Jake was having an affair with Lorraine. Three hours later, after much good advice, such as ‘try taking a holiday’, Lexi found herself sitting on the afternoon train heading for London, and Jake.

She watched the patchwork of the countryside sliding past the carriage window in the hot summer sun and she felt as if she had awakened from a long sleep. Not so much sleep as nightmare, she admitted ruefully. Dear Dr Bell had explained everything: she had been suffering from hormonal depression and the fact that she had lost the baby and was consumed with guilt about it had made her worse, prone to suspicion, irrational... But once the doctor had convinced her it was a quite common reaction to a miscarriage, she had suddenly felt rejuvenated.

Lexi had taken great care with her appearance, for the first time in weeks. Her red hair shone like living flame and cascaded down her back in lavish curls. The smart, sleeveless plain mint-green silk sheath she wore clung lovingly to her slender curves and ended just above her knees, revealing a goodly amount of shapely legs; on her feet she wore high-heeled white pumps and she carried a small white clutch bag in her hand containing her passport. A hastily packed suitcase was on the rack above her head. She was going to surprise Jake, and persuade him to let his super-efficient Lorraine look after the business while he accompanied Lexi to Paris for the rest of the week, a repetition of their honeymoon a year ago. It would be perfect...

The first hint that Lexi’s plan was not going to go smoothly came as the train ground to a halt, half an hour away from King’s Cross station. Lexi heard with dismay that the train was delayed because of a bomb scare at the station, and to make matters worse a glance out of the carriage window showed the blue sky turn to black and the heavens open in a storm that would have rivalled Noah’s. She consulted the slim gold watch on her wrist and sighed. She would not catch him at the office, but still, she told herself, it didn’t matter. She would catch him at the apartment; they had spent many a happy hour there when they were first married.

Dreamily she recalled the first weeks when they were so close. Jake had told her all about himself. He was a self-made man, and a bastard, he had declared on their second date, but luckier than most. Apparently, his mother had fallen in love with a married man when on holiday on the continent, and Jake was the result. The married man, to give him his due, had provided for the mother and child. He had paid for a Victorian terraced house in London for them, and every month a cheque arrived, though the man himself never put in an appearance. When Jake was sixteen the money had stopped coming, and they had only been able to assume the man had died. Jake had left school and begun working on building sites and, after the death of his mother four years later, he had taken his first step into the business world, by converting the three-storey house into apartments.

Lexi smiled reminiscently; they had been lying naked in bed in their Paris hotel and she had teased him about being a self-made millionaire at thirty. Laughingly he had responded, ‘If you married me for money, as Lorraine would have me believe, you’re in for a shock. Every penny I make I reinvest; a paper millionaire need not necessarily have spare cash floating around. But don’t worry, I won’t see you go hungry.’ And, leaning over her satiated naked body, he had murmured throatily, ‘Take a bite of me any time, darling.’

The train started with a jolt, jerking Lexi out of her reverie; she was surprised to note they had been delayed well over an hour. Still, soon she would see her husband, and she hugged the thought to her with secret delight.

Before getting a taxi from the station she took time to purchase from one of the small boutiques a bottle of Jake’s favourite aftershave. Kindly the assistant gift-wrapped it for her. Not a very exciting or original anniversary present, but the best she could do at short notice. Ten minutes later, she was sitting in the back of a taxi speeding through the streets of London.

With a light step she dashed across the pavement and into the entrance of the mansion block that housed Jake’s apartment, dodging the sheeting rain. The lovely summer day had deteriorated into a very wet and windy night. Still, nothing could dampen her spirits and, with suitcase in one hand and bag and gift in the other, she dashed up the flight of stairs to the first-floor apartment.

She placed her suitcase on the floor and, taking her key from her bag, let herself into the cosy flat. A short hall with a telephone table and cloak cupboard was thickly carpeted in a deep, dark red. Silently she moved along the hall; she stopped at the hall table and deposited the parcel on it and the suitcase at her feet, and then took a step further to the living-room door. She reached out to open it but it was not closed and swung half-open at her touch, and then she froze.

Jake was already at home, and not alone. A small balcony with various large green houseplants partly obscured the door from the two people sitting side by side on a large, curved, black hide sofa in the sunken lounge. But Lexi could see all too clearly. Jake and Lorraine, a bottle of wine, and two glasses on the table beside them, but, more damning than that, they were both wearing only towelling robes.

She stood numb with shock, the rainwater dripping from her long hair, running icily down her spine, her thin dress no match for the storm outside. But the storm in her heart was worse. She listened in open-mouthed horror as her life dissolved around her.

‘It’s no good, Lorraine, I just can’t tell Lexi. At least not yet. She’s just lost a child, for God’s sake! She will be so hurt...’ Jake’s deep voice sounded harsh in the stillness of the room.

‘You’re being ridiculous, Jake. She has to know some time and if you don’t tell her she’ll find out anyway, and that will hurt her a hell of a lot more. It is impossible to keep a thing like this secret.’ Her scarlet-tipped nails reached out and curved around Jake’s arm, and Lexi, from her vantage place at the door, flinched as though she had been struck.

‘I’ve told you before, Jake, you’re far too protective of Lexi. She is a twenty-year-old woman, she has lost a child; she knows the world is not all sweetness and light. These things happen and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. You cut your losses, and try again.’

‘You don’t understand, Lorraine. I made a promise to Lexi when I married her. What am I supposed to say to her? “Sorry, darling, but circumstances have changed, and it’s a tough old world out there. Sorry I’ve got to break my word, but I’m sure you understand...’” he drawled sarcastically.

‘She will understand, Jake, and it’s not as if you’re leaving her with nothing; she’s a sleeping partner in the business—half of all you make is hers. Personally, I always thought she was a gold-digger anyway. I told you so when you insisted on marrying her. She might jump at the chance of being rich in her own right...I know if I was in her position I would.’

‘Lexi has been protected all her life; she’s not like you.’ Jake’s dark head turned to the woman at his side. ‘That’s why you make such a damn good PA: you’re as tough as any man and mercenary to boot, but fortunately Lexi is not.’

Lexi had seen and heard enough. ‘It’s not as if you’re leaving her with nothing,’ echoed in her head. How could she have been such a fool? Her husband and his PA were having an affair; they were actually discussing how he was to divorce her. For all Lexi knew it had been going on since long before she had met Jake. Suddenly it was blatantly obvious, she realised with numb acceptance. Jake had only married her for Forest Manor.

She recalled their wedding-day, when she had mentioned eventually settling at Forest Manor and Jake’s look of shocked surprise. She had naïvely assumed, with their marriage and Jake’s promise to pay her father’s debts, that the house would stay a house. But Jake had quickly put her straight. It was still essential that the place be turned into a hotel, though he did promise they could keep a private wing for themselves. Lexi, so in love, had of course agreed.

So many little things suddenly made sense. At first, when the hotel was completed, Jake had insisted he could work as easily in Yorkshire as London. But almost as soon as her pregnancy was confirmed suddenly business was hard and he needed to be in London all week. Now she realised Jake must have wanted out of the marriage from the minute the hotel was up and running and making money for him. No wonder the pair sitting on the sofa before her had been so negative about Lexi’s pregnancy. While she was devastated at the loss of her child, her swine of a husband had probably been laughing with relief. It was this thought more than anything that gave Lexi the strength to do what she did next.

Straightening her shoulders, she walked out on to the small balcony but did not descend the steps to the couple below. Standing above them gave her some sense of superiority, even if it was just an illusion.

Jake saw her first and jumped to his feet, swinging around to look up at her. ‘Lexi, what are you doing here?’ His dark face was flushed, and for once he looked less than in complete control as his strong hands tugged at the belt around his waist holding his robe together.

Lexi’s violet eyes narrowed to mere slits of purple ice. ‘I called to tell you I’m going on a little holiday with Cathy, a friend from school, but I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation.’ By this time Lorraine had stood up next to Jake. Lexi almost choked. The woman was wearing Lexi’s robe, and it was too small for her, or perhaps, from a man’s point of view, it was perfect, barely covering the other woman’s large breasts.

‘Lexi, let me explain.’ Jake moved towards the stairs.

Imperviously, Lexi held up her small hand. ‘There is really no need, Jake. I heard everything, and I hate to disillusion you, but you are wrong about me, and Lorraine was right. I really don’t care about you breaking your promise to me. I would much rather have the money.’ If Lexi had any lingering doubt about the perfidiousness of Jake it vanished, as she recognised the look of pure undisguised relief that spread over his handsome face.

‘You heard it all, everything, and you really don’t mind...?’ He smiled up at her. ‘Thank God for that! I was dreading telling you. You’ve been so down lately, losing the child and everything; I just never imagined you would be so sensible. I think this calls for a drink. Champagne even.’ And holding up a hand to her he said, ‘Come on down, and we can all celebrate.’

Celebrate! The heartless swine, but then, why was she surprised? She had never been a match for the sophisticated couple in front of her, and perhaps in her heart of hearts she had always known that. Only once had she mentioned to Jake that he seemed very close to his PA and he had burst out laughing, though he was flattered that Lexi was jealous. The bastard! She swore under her breath, but not by a flicker of an eyelid did she reveal her true feelings; instead she responded smoothly, ‘I’m afraid I haven’t time, the taxi is waiting downstairs...’

In three steps Jake was beside her. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t leave just like that! Lexi, I knew nothing about you taking a holiday.’ His strong hands reached out for her but she took a hasty step back into the hall, she grabbed her suitcase and headed for the door. Jake caught her as she opened the door.

‘Wait, Lexi, I refuse to let you go off like this; we have things to discuss,’ he declared adamantly. ‘You’ve been ill, for God’s sake!’

‘You have no say in the matter any more. You broke your promise, and now I’m breaking mine. Go back and celebrate with Lorraine.’ Her face a cold mask, she stared straight at him. ‘As for me, I never want to see you again.’

If she had slapped him, she couldn’t have shocked him more. His hand fell from her arm and all the colour drained out of his face. ‘You don’t mean that, Lexi, you’re being childish. I thought you said you understood... Sit down, have a drink and...

‘Call my solicitor in York with the divorce papers,’ she cut him off, and spun around.

‘My God! You don’t care, not for me, the hotel...Lorraine was right all along, you mercenary little bitch...’

But Lexi barely heard him. She was free, out of the door, and running down the staircase, her suitcase banging against her leg as she moved and the tears streaming down her face. She vaguely heard Jake’s harsh voice shouting after her but she did not stop running until she had put a couple of streets between herself and her louse of a husband.

Finally she waved down a cab and collapsed in the back seat. ‘Just drive around, please,’ she murmured.

‘You’re the boss,’ the driver said flatly.

The tears dried on her face, her violet eyes huge and blankly staring inward... ‘Childish,’ Jake had called her for not accepting that he wanted to divorce her with the sophisticated élan he expected from his women.

Hormonal depression, she thought with dry irony, What a joke! Deep in her subconscious, hadn’t she always wondered what the dynamic London businessman saw in her? Why a man of Jake’s obvious wealth and charm would marry a naïve young woman from Yorkshire? She had always sensed the ruthless streak in him but had convinced herself it would never be turned on her. Jake loved her! And that was the biggest joke of all. He had swept her off her feet, used her body in lust, and even that hadn’t satisfied him for long.

She groaned, a small whimper of sound. All her suspicions about Jake and Lorraine had been confirmed in one horrendous evening. Jake had probably been making love to Lorraine every time he was in London, while Lexi, as the little wife, was in happy ignorance, working in the hotel miles away. Lexi closed her eyes briefly to shut out the pain; she would not give in to it, she vowed silently.

Dear heaven! While she was losing her child Jake and Lorraine had most likely been in each other’s arms... She couldn’t bear to think about it, and, opening her eyes, her mouth a tight white line, she made a silent promise. Jake had hurt her for the last time...

Her mind was made up. She had used her old school chum’s name on the spur of the moment earlier, but actually it was a good idea. The thought of Cathy was comforting. They were both children of diplomats and had spent five years together at the same convent school in Sussex. They had shared a flat in London for a year but had not been in touch since Lexi had dropped out of college. But Lexi was pretty sure Cathy still had the same apartment. She gave the cabbie her friend’s address, and half an hour later Lexi was being warmly welcomed by an amazon of a girl with green hair into an Earl’s Court apartment that looked like a bomb had hit it.

‘Hey, you hardly look the happy mum-to-be. What’s happened?’

Lexi collapsed on the beaten-up sofa, and between her tears told Cathy everything...

The following day she made a long phone call to her solicitor in York, advising him that soon he would be receiving divorce papers from her husband, and instructing him to act on her behalf, to accept whatever Jake said without query, but on no account to let her husband have the new address she would forward to Mr Travis as soon as she was settled.

With the old man’s condolences ringing in her ears she replaced the receiver, and, with a grim smile for Cathy, said, ‘Right, to your parents’, and then as far away from England as I can get, and if by any remote chance you bump into Jake Taylor you have never seen me, and have no idea where I am. Promise...’ And Cathy did.

CHAPTER THREE

LEXI stepped out of the lift at the ground floor, her glance sweeping professionally around the elegant marble foyer, lingering slightly on the view of the dining-room through large double doors. Yes, all was serene; the few guests who had opted to lunch in the hotel were being attended to with the expert efficiency expected of the staff at the Hotel Le Piccolo Paradiso.

As manager of the small, exclusive hotel it was Lexi’s job to make sure everything ran smoothly, and even now, when she was off duty and on her way down into Sorrento for the rest of the day, she could not help checking everything was in order.

Today it was slightly more than that, she admitted to herself with a wry smile. She was meeting Dante for lunch and he would be expecting to hear if she was going ahead with the divorce. It was still a niggling puzzle to Lexi why Jake Taylor, in almost five years, had never instigated divorce proceedings. It just didn’t make sense. The last night in London she had heard Jake and Lorraine discussing how to break the news to his wife of their involvement and they had even got around to discussing the money side of divorce, and wondering if Lexi would accept it. When she had faced Jake he had made no attempt to deny anything, was delighted she had overheard and was going to be sensible and actually suggested she join them in a drink.

For years she had been expecting to hear from Mr Travis, her solicitor, that Jake had approached him for a divorce but it had never happened. When Dante had asked her out a few months ago, she had decided it was time she got back into the world of male-female relationships, and to do so she had to be free. Finally, a week ago she had rung Mr Travis in England and, after a long conversation with the lawyer, she had confirmed in writing her desire to start divorce proceedings on the five years’ separation statute. This very morning she had received a letter from her solicitor confirming that the proceedings were progressing on her behalf.

Dismissing the problem from her mind, she strolled over to the reception desk and in her usual fluent Italian asked Franco, her young assistant manager, if everything was in order.

‘Si, Lexi.’ His dark brown eyes swept over her appreciatively, taking in the rich tumble of golden-red curls flowing down her back and the seductive silhouette of her voluptuous figure outlined in a brief blue cotton jersey scooped-neck shift dress. Her shapely legs were bare and golden as was the rest of her exposed flesh. Five years in Sorrento and she had matured into a stunningly beautiful woman from the slim, rather solemn girl who had first arrived. Franco sighed dramatically. ‘Meeting Signor Dante? I think he is a very lucky man.’

Lexi grinned in acceptance of the compliment. ‘Forever the charmer, Franco,’ she quipped. ‘Ciao.’ And her strappy blue sandals tapped out her jaunty step as she crossed the marble floor and stepped outside into the brilliant blaze of midsummer sun.

She stopped for a moment beside the little Fiat Panda—it was a company car but Lexi considered it hers—she stared out over the roof of the car at the view before her. It never failed to lift her spirits, she thought musingly. The hotel was perched high on a hill overlooking the bay of Naples. The isle of Capri was visible on the left, an exquisite jewel set in a sea of azure. With a contented sigh, Lexi opened the car door and sat in the driving seat.

Why worry? she told herself. According to the solicitor, in six weeks’ time she could divorce Jake Taylor on the grounds that they had been apart for five years; she didn’t even need her husband’s consent. Dante should be satisfied with that. Very soon she would be officially free...

She started the little car and spun along the elegant drive lined with orange and lemon trees and turned right at the main gates on to the road down into Sorrento. She was singing softly to herself as she swung the wheel expertly around the first of half a dozen hairpin bends that zig-zagged down the hillside, only to gasp as, with lightning speed, a black Bugatti sports car swerved violently to pass her, only missing her car by inches.

The same blasted car again! Stupid macho oaf, she thought scathingly, as she registered the brief outline of a dark, greying man behind the wheel of the gleaming monster of a car. But, once more steadily driving along, she had the same uncomfortable feeling that there was something vaguely familiar about the driver of the Bugatti. She had seen the car a few times in the past few months. It was hard to miss; at first she had thought the driver might have been a guest at some time. But the hotel was small—only twenty luxuriously appointed suites, strictly for the very wealthy and discerning traveller, and she knew virtually all the guests, past and present.

She had never actually got a good look at the driver. But somehow she had the strangest feeling she knew the man on a more personal basis. Which was ridiculous when she thought about it; people with the sort of wealth that could afford a Bugatti were not in her social circle. Dante, her boyfriend, was comfortably off, owning two jewellery shops—one in Sorrento and another in Amalfi. He was a good, hard-working, serious-minded man and would make her an excellent husband and father to her children.

A shadow darkened her violet eyes, as she realised with a sense of shock it would be exactly five years tonight since she had lost her child. She had never completely got over the miscarriage, and sometimes in her darkest moods she couldn’t help asking herself if she had finally instigated divorce proceedings herself and was contemplating marrying Dante, more because she still had a desperate longing for a child, than through any great love for the man himself.

She dismissed the unsettling thought from her mind. Anyway, Dante hadn’t actually proposed yet, she smiled wryly, counting her chickens again! A bad policy, she remonstrated with herself, as she manoeuvred the car through the hectic lunch-time traffic in Sorrento and down to the Marina Piccolae. She had arranged to meet Dante at the Dolphin restaurant, a long wooden structure that stretched out on wooden stilts from the steep cliffs into the sea and served excellent fish dishes. She parked the car on a small cobbled side-lane and walked around the curve of the old port.

A tender smile curved the corners of her full mouth as she watched the local children playing in the sea. It didn’t seem to bother them that there were fishing boats tied up haphazardly around the water’s edge; in fact it appeared to add to their enjoyment as, like fish themselves, they jumped and dived off the boats.

Sorrento was a stunning town, built over a flat plateau that rose precipitously from the sea. On the top of the steep cliffs the big hotels had lifts cut through the rock and down to the base and the sea. Small beaches with large rectangular wooden pontoons greatly increased the available sunbathing areas and, for the swimmer, access to the sea itself, but at quite a substantial charge to the public. Certainly more than local children could pay.

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