A temporary arrangement...

Kelli Barnett invented a partner to avoid her parents’ matchmaking schemes. So, when her boss Mac Taylor—the man whose kisses once made her melt—offers to step in as her fiancé for a family wedding, Kelli snaps up his offer!

Widower Mac believes himself incapable of loving again. Until playing Kelli’s fiancé at the beautiful island retreat throws his senses into overdrive. But Mac must learn to let go of the past for this fake relationship to have a real future...

He grinned—a rare sight that zapped her in the tummy and woke up those butterflies behind her ribs.

When Mac relaxed the grip on his emotions he was a sight dreams were made of. His handsome face became beyond wonderful—good-looking mixed with fun and caring and enjoyment. And sex. His green eyes reminded Kelli of spring fields, and that mouth... That mouth could be soft as cotton wool, as demanding as a hungry child, as heat-provoking as a firelighter.

She wasn’t going to survive the weekend and come out sane at the other end. She was going to be in a constant state of terror in case she jumped his bones or fell under his spell and had not one, but two sensual nights in bed.

Rules, Kells. You’ve got rules in place.

But rules were made to be broken.

Dear Reader,

At the end of writing Pregnant with the Boss’s Baby I wanted to write Mac and Kelli’s story, so here it is.

In their back story, they had a close encounter of the sexual kind after their friends’ wedding. Back at work they find it hard to focus on patients and not each other. So when Kelli needs a partner for her brother’s wedding Mac puts his hand up—and then the fun really starts.

Weddings have become a bit of a theme for these stories, and I’ve loved writing them. And I haven’t finished. Michael and Stephanie have been nagging me to write their story, and I’m not good at ignoring a good nag. So watch out for that book, which is going to come after a duet I am writing with the lovely Louisa George.

I love hearing from my readers at

sue.mackay56@yahoo.com or drop by my web page: suemackay.co.nz.

Cheers!

Sue MacKay

Falling for Her Fake Fiancé

Sue MacKay

www.millsandboon.co.uk

SUE MACKAY lives with her husband in New Zealand’s beautiful Marlborough Sounds, with the water on her doorstep and the birds and the trees at her back door. It is the perfect setting to indulge her passions of entertaining friends by cooking them sumptuous meals, drinking fabulous wine, going for hill walks or kayaking around the bay—and, of course, writing stories.

Books by Sue MacKay

Mills & Boon Medical Romance

Reunited...in Paris!

A December to Remember

Breaking All Their Rules

Dr. White’s Baby Wish

The Army Doc’s Baby Bombshell

Resisting Her Army Doc Rival

Pregnant with the Boss’s Baby

Visit the Author Profile page at millsandboon.co.uk for more titles.

Praise for Sue MacKay

‘I highly recommend this story to all lovers of romance: it is moving, emotional, a joy to read!’

—Goodreads on A December to Remember

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Introduction

Dear Reader

Title Page

Booklist

Praise

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

Extract

Copyright

CHAPTER ONE

KELLI BARNETT PULLED a face, even though her bestie at the other end of the phone couldn’t see her. ‘I am not going with him, stand-up citizen or not.’

‘Who are you going to take to Billy’s wedding, then? You’ve got to find someone pronto.’ Tamara’s frustration was obvious. But then her family were equally frustrated with her at the moment so the tone was overly familiar.

Her brother’s wedding was turning into a nightmare. ‘No one.’ If only it were that easy.

‘You know your mother’s going to sit Jason beside you if there’s no one else to take that place.’

Oh, yeah. ‘Maybe I’ll pull a sickie, say I’ve caught some severe gastro bug that I can’t share with the wedding guests.’ Maybe she could take a flying leap off the end of the jetty and swim all the way back to Auckland city from the island where the wedding celebrations were going to take place in less than a week’s time. But no, she would never jeopardise her brother’s big day.

‘Are you being obtuse? Like this guy’s awesome, and you don’t want to admit it.’

She hated the smug laughter Tamara was indulging in. ‘You’ve met Jason. What do you think?’

‘He’s doing well as a lawyer, owns his house and drives a top-of-the-range car that goes too fast. He’ll make the perfect husband for someone.’

‘Not for me.’

‘Just checking here. You’re turning him down at every opportunity because?’ Persistent was Tamara’s middle name since she’d found the love of her life and thought Kelli should do the same.

Kelli snapped, ‘He’s dull as dishwater.’

‘Doesn’t light your fire, huh?’

‘A wet blanket would ignite that faster.’

‘And Mac Taylor would set your whole world alight.’

The phone dropped out of Kelli’s suddenly lifeless fingers. ‘Damn you, Tamara,’ she growled, but not loud enough for the words to carry to the phone now lying on the footpath outside Auckland Central Hospital. Tam was her best friend but sometimes... Bending to pick it up, she glanced at her watch. ‘Got to go,’ she told Tamara in her top don’t-fool-with-me voice. ‘I’m going in to sign my next contract with Personnel and then get to work. Bye.’ She hung up before there was any more nonsense from her pal.

But moments later the phone rang and she didn’t have the heart to send the call to voicemail. ‘You’d better have something sensible to say or I’ll hang up again.’

Tamara just laughed. Again. ‘Ask Mac to partner you to the wedding. And before you cut off our friendship for life, think about it. You two were hot for each other at my wedding. The way you danced with him said more than I know you’re ever going to admit.’

Kelli jerked to a stop in the middle of the hospital entrance, yelling, ‘Are you out of your mind?’ She’d just spent six weeks working in Fiji on an exchange with Suva Hospital and if that hadn’t put Mac on the back burner then she was in trouble. Especially now she’d been bumped from day to night shift—Mac’s shift—all because another nurse had taken early maternity leave due to high blood pressure.

‘Only looking out for you, Kells, like you did for me.’

Tears pricked her eyes.

Thanks, girlfriend. Appreciate it. Would love some of what you’ve got but it isn’t going to happen. Not while I’m still afraid to reach out for it.

A quick slash across her face with her palm, a deep sniff, and, ‘Why is it when someone falls in love he or she wants the same thing for everyone else?’ People were bumping and nudging her as they streamed past. She was getting later by the minute. There was the meeting with Personnel—might be less complicated if she headed to the local supermarket and asked for a checkout job where she’d never see Mac—before her shift in the emergency department started at three. Very soon. It had been a full-on day, avoiding her mother and finishing unpacking from her time away.

‘Because love’s so good. Crazy good, wonderful. The sun shines even when it’s raining. Of course I want that for you.’ Tamara sang happiness.

‘You think I’ll get that with Mac?’ She’d like to. No, she wouldn’t. This was Tamara rubbing her up the wrong way causing these pointless ideas to surface. ‘Don’t answer that. I am not going to ask Dr Taylor to partner me to tea break, let alone anything else.’

* * *

Kelli’s heart stuttered as she strode into the ED. Shoulders back, hands forced to hang loose at her sides, butterflies under her ribs.

Where was he? Looking around, she tried to calm the churning going on in her belly. Mac would be somewhere in here. He never ran late for a shift, and now that he was head of department he probably arrived extra early.

She shouldn’t have come back. Doing a runner while she had the chance would’ve been the better option. The hospital board had sent her to Fiji to cover for a nurse coming here to upskill in emergency treatments, but no one on that board would’ve gone out of their way to track her down and haul her back if she’d done a bunk.

Too late, Sunshine. You’re back, with another contract covering the next twelve months all signed and kicking off right now.

Where was he?

‘Hello, Kelli.’

Bang. Right on cue. Slap between her ribs. That low, raspy voice raised images of a hot night in Sydney after Tamara and Conor’s wedding. Without any effort or cohesive thought, she usually felt Mac on her skin, under her skin. But her radar must’ve been temporarily turned off because she hadn’t noticed any change in the atmosphere until he’d spoken. Bracing herself, Kelli turned to face her heartache eye to eye. ‘Hi, Mac. How’s things?’

Mac was striding towards her, head up, back straight. ‘Oh, you know. Same old, same old.’ He shrugged as though life was a bit of a bore really. At least, she thought he was aiming for a casual movement to underline his comfort levels around her, but those muscles under his shirt were tight, tension rippling off them. ‘Except it’s not for you, is it? Shift change is at three, not fifteen minutes past.’

‘Sorry, but I didn’t ask to be bumped to the night shift,’ she growled. Two could play this game. He might be setting the tone but she could just as easily keep up with the play.

His head jerked up a notch. ‘I know.’ A conciliatory note creeping in? Better if it didn’t. Aggro would keep them apart, which was all she required of him. Unfortunately he hadn’t finished. ‘We had no choice but to bring you on board.’ Perhaps not conciliatory, more annoyed. ‘None of the other nurses would change and your return from Suva fitted in perfectly with our most experienced nurse having to take urgent leave.’

‘So they told me over the phone on Friday.’ Kelli didn’t blame Mac for the change in her working times. Despite being Specialist in Charge his hands would’ve been tied, and by the looks of him he was no happier about it than she was.

‘You only found out on Friday?’ He sounded appalled, which won him a point or two. ‘I told Personnel to get in touch with you more than a week ago.’

‘You didn’t think to phone me yourself?’

He swallowed hard. ‘Yes. I did.’

‘Yet you didn’t.’ Good one, Mac. Not a great start to their working relationship if he couldn’t even do that. Really went to show how little he thought about those kisses.

Mac had kissed her in ways that tricked her heart into thinking he might’ve found her attractive in some small way. But deep down she’d known all along she was blowing in the wind. Gorgeous, sexy hunks didn’t fall for her.

According to the school bullies, she had a lot in common with elephants, and not their phenomenal memories. When plastic surgeon Steve, now ex-fiancé, first came on the scene she was long past those jibes, until he offered to do breast and butt reductions free of charge.

And now there was Mac, a man who kept himself aloof from people all the time. A man who when asked if he was single by one of the nurses had replied tightly, ‘Yes, I am,’ and gone on with his work. His tone had been so raw no one had dared ask another thing. Yet for one night, away from home and work, sharing their closest friends’ special day, he’d been different. Funny, fun, relaxed. She’d been hypnotised and felt close to him. Far too easily, considering her heart had been on lockdown since the humiliation Steve had caused her.

Which was why she and Mac had to remain totally professional on the job. She was not going through that again. Rolling her shoulders, she muttered, ‘Guess we’ll do our best to knock along.’ And she’d do her darnedest not to remember that hot night in Sydney every time she came within breathing distance of him.

‘Kelli.’ Mac tapped her shoulder lightly. ‘I apologise. I should’ve been the one to tell you about the changes, even if it was the personnel department’s place to get in touch with you.’

She gave a tight smile. ‘Yes, you should’ve. We’re better than that.’

Mac scowled at her reproach, and she instantly worked to loosen the tightness in her neck and shoulders, and took a step back. No loosening the cramp in her belly while standing close to him. But keeping him onside was important. Working in Auckland Central’s emergency department was her dream job and she’d do anything to keep it.

Anything? Avoid Mac as much as possible? After they’d shared kisses that had tricked her alter ego into sneaking out and letting her hair down—literally. And into having the most amazing time with a man she’d ever experienced, and that was without sex.

Her shoulders slumped. Mac had walked away when they stood outside her hotel room, key at the ready, leaving her wondering what had caused his abrupt change of mind when his desire for her had been plenty evident. A part of her had been relieved. Everything had happened so fast, those kisses so explosive, she hadn’t had a moment to consider the consequences. Not least what he’d think after seeing her naked.

But since then there’d been no putting alter ego back in the box. It was up and fighting. Instead of her usual placatory persona being in charge there’d been nudges and changes going on inside that messed with her mind.

Working in Suva had given her time to take a long look at herself. Getting away from Mac and his inscrutable face after Sydney had been a priority. It had been as though he regretted their night of dancing and kissing. Which hurt bad. She hadn’t been able to forget one touch, one kiss. Nor the gut-twisting moment he’d walked away from her outside her hotel room when she’d believed they were heading inside to the king-sized bed. That should’ve shut down all these hot, needy sensations that slammed through her whenever he came close. Should’ve. Didn’t.

Might explain why she found it hard to return to being the woman who played safe in order to keep people on side so they couldn’t find anything to pick at her about. It hadn’t been about that with Mac and yet she’d still been rejected. So why wasn’t she angry with him? Ignoring him? Why the heat and need for him?

In Fiji she’d figured it was time to dump the past. To stand tall and stare down anyone not accepting her as she was. To stop feeling sorry for herself and start taking some risks, get hurt maybe, loved, but most of all live. Had that night with Mac brought this on? Or was it because he’d shown her something she wanted? Excitement and maybe something more, something deeper?

Despite her new approach to life—still in training—Tamara’s insane suggestion had blindsided her.

Ask Mac to partner you to Billy’s wedding.

If only she could, and feel blasé about it. What if he laughed at her? Made her feel small? On the inside only; she’d never been small physically. ‘Elephant, elephant.’ Those taunts had returned with a vengeance after Steve did his number on her.

So much for looking life in the eye, Kelli.

‘You okay?’ the man wrecking her new purpose asked.

She stared at him. ‘I guess.’ Her belly tightened painfully while her heart went on a rampage, beating up a storm behind her ribs. Mac was sexier than she’d remembered. How did that work? That chest stretching the top of his scrubs turned her toes upward, and made her fingers itch to slip across the expanse of warm skin covering it. That was how.

She raised her eyes to his inscrutable face, despair trickling out on a sigh. He was better looking than her brain had allowed. Definitely sexier now she’d felt his strength under her palms. A lot more serious too, if that was possible. Selective memories here. She should be thinking only of watching him walk away from her that night and the twinge of relief that nudged her, nothing else. But some things were downright impossible.

Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth as moisture dried up.

I can do this. I can do this. I have to do this.

The next phase of her career was going to be an absolute blast. ‘Right, we’d better get on with the show. Any changes in staff since I’ve been away?’ Apart from the nurse she was now filling in for, that was.

‘Michael’s swapped to our shift, having decided day shift without Conor around wasn’t so much fun,’ Mac told her as they began walking towards the hub of the department. ‘Otherwise all’s normal.’

‘Cool. I like working with Michael.’ Kelli looked around at the familiar territory, and tried to feel at home again. But it was impossible when Mac was within reaching distance. The Mac she’d got close to, not the Mac she’d wondered what it would be like to make love to. There was a difference between wondering and knowing. A huge, belly-tightening, heart-shaking difference, and she didn’t have the answer. Her fingertips tingled with memories of him; warm skin, rippling muscles. And that was only his back, his arms. She gasped.

Stop it.

So much for putting that night behind her and getting on with her life. Kisses had never wrecked such havoc on her equilibrium before.

‘Everyone likes working with Michael,’ growled Mac.

Her head flipped up. Jealous? But the burnished green eyes that met hers said no, instead warning she was not special around here. Definitely not special to him. Anywhere. ‘I’m sure they do,’ she muttered as something sharp lanced her heart. ‘How did my swap from Fiji work out?’

Relief filled those thoughtful eyes. ‘She was overwhelmed for the first few days but once she got the hang of the continuous stream of patients she found her stride. Talk about soaking up knowledge faster than a sponge takes in water. She thrived, and didn’t want to go home at the end of her stint.’

‘I can understand that.’ Perhaps she could swap permanently with the Fijian nurse.

‘You didn’t want to come back to Auckland?’ Mac asked, his voice now grave. ‘Or to ED and working on night shift?’ He mightn’t have asked ‘Or working with me?’ but the question hung between them.

She avoided the hot topic. Hot? She was standing by Mac, right? Scorching. ‘Bit hard to give up those beaches and the warm water and return to Auckland in autumn.’

Did you miss me at all while I was away, Mac?

‘Talked to Tamara lately?’ he asked. Guess that meant no.

‘Less than an hour ago.’ The friend whose wedding had started the inferno between her and Mac. ‘She’s sick of being pregnant, says her belly feels like it will pop open any minute.’ She’d been full of unwanted advice.

‘Conor told me she’s as restless as a hive of bees.’

Definitely not going to talk about themselves. She could run with that. Safer, if not sad considering how well they got on in Sydney. I missed you so much it kept me awake most nights, Mac. But playing safe was her way and she’d grab this with both hands. Best way to put the whole caboodle behind her.

Then the phone in her pocket vibrated with an incoming text. Probably her mother, in which case she’d not even look, definitely wouldn’t answer. She was not going to the wedding with Jason; nice, successful, upright citizen that he was. Today was Monday. She had until lift-off on Friday to find someone to go with her.

Ask Mac to partner you to the wedding.

Go away, Tam. Go away. He wouldn’t want to attend a wedding where he knew no one but her.

You both only knew the bride and groom at my wedding.

Yeah, well, that was different. It had been small, and while Conor’s Irish family were full on, they’d been convivial, not loaded with awkward questions about her and Mac. Unlike her mother if Mac partnered her to Billy’s.

‘Hey, Kelli, welcome back.’ Stephanie, the head nurse on night shift, appeared before her, a genuine friendly smile lighting up her face. ‘Great to have you working with us.’

Now that was a better welcome. ‘Glad to be here.’ Put some effort into it. ‘Truly.’ If not for working alongside Mac, that was. ‘I’ll have all those mornings to do other things.’

‘Like?’ Stephanie grinned. ‘Sleep in?’

‘More dress designing.’ Her passion outside nursing. Why did her gaze slide sideways towards Mac? He was not one of her passions. He couldn’t be. Dress designing. Mac. Her mind flipped back and forth. Passion.

‘I’d forgotten you made those amazing dresses.’ Stephanie was prattling on, oblivious to the fact Kelli was distracted by their boss. ‘You ever try selling them to the fashion shops?’

Dragging her focus back to Stephanie, she nodded. ‘I’ve sold a few that way.’

‘We’d better keep you happy working with us or we’ll lose you to a new career.’ Stephanie reached over to the counter and picked up a file.

‘Nope. Nursing’s my first love. Designing’s a hobby.’ She held her hand out for the file. ‘What’ve we got?’

‘A lad of seven, fell off his skateboard, probable fracture of the left ulna. He’s all yours.’ Stephanie didn’t let go of the file. ‘For now I’m doing triage, but that could change. Letting you know in case you’re interested.’

‘Thanks.’ Kelli headed for the waiting room and her first patient of the day. Of the shift, of the night roster. Of working with Mac. Her feet tripped over each other. This should be easy-peasy. It wasn’t. Mac had dominated her thoughts since Sydney. Honestly? He’d started sneaking under her radar months earlier when he’d first arrived in Auckland Central’s emergency department. The volume had been turned up by those kisses they’d shared, had her hormones in a right tizz.

Concentrate on work. Sure. ‘Davy Roughton?’ she called, scoping the room.

‘That’s us.’ A young, distressed woman stood up and helped a boy off his seat.

Kelli crossed to them, bent down to the boy’s level. ‘Hello, I’m Kelli, your nurse. I hear you had an accident with your skateboard.’

His top teeth dug deep in his bottom lip as he nodded slowly. He held his left arm awkwardly against his chest. ‘It went too fast.’

She grinned. ‘They do that sometimes, don’t they? Like they’re trying to trick you into thinking you can do anything.’

Another nod, this time more relaxed. ‘I can do jumps and things. But the board went over the step too fast and tipped me off.’

‘You’ll have to train your board to behave.’ She straightened up. ‘Come on. Let’s get you fixed up.’

The mother said, ‘The triage nurse suspects he’s broken his arm.’

‘We’ll have Davy taken to Radiology for an X-ray to verify that. Then it will be a case of applying a cast and sending your young man home with painkillers.’ She looked down at the lad. ‘He’s a brave soul. Not a lot of tears.’

‘There were a few initially but Davy’s usually fairly stoic. Like his dad.’ Mum sounded closer to tears than her boy.

‘Let’s get this sorted. Would you like a coffee or tea? There’s going to be a bit of hanging around.’

‘Love a tea, thanks. Milk and one.’

Kelli ushered them into a cubicle and helped the boy up onto the bed. After settling him in comfortably she checked his temperature. ‘All good there. I’ll get our patient carer to make that tea, and tell the doctor you’re here.’

Mac was at the bedside when she returned minutes later. ‘We need an orderly to take Davy to X-ray, Nurse.’

‘Yes, Doctor.’ She gritted her teeth.

Since when did they go all formal? Got it. Mac was no more comfortable with her being here than she was having to stand within metres of him, seeing, hearing him, breathing in that tantalising male scent mixed with a pine aftershave. Her blood thickened just thinking about him.

He shot her a glare. ‘Now, Nurse?’

Of course. An orderly. Nothing to do with male scent and heat. Kelli phoned the orderly room, then headed to the desk for another patient file. The boy was being cared for and there were more patients needing her attention.

‘Something bothering you, Kelli? You seem distracted.’ Mr Distraction himself stood on the other side of the desk.

Shaking her head at him, she muttered, ‘Not at all. Just getting back in the groove.’ Guilt prodded at her though. She was concentrating more on Mac than work. After six weeks away and no contact with him, she should be over him. Her body wasn’t listening, craving for more—more tender, yet igniting touches, more bone-melting kisses, more of those hands, his hard, muscular body against hers as they moved to the band’s music.

‘When did you get back from Fiji?’ The unexpected question cut through the daydream.

‘Saturday night. A tropical storm on Friday closed Suva Airport for twenty-four hours so I couldn’t get out.’ Couldn’t drive to the airport in Nadi for the same reason.

‘So you’ve only had a day and a half to unpack and get back into your routine?’

‘More than enough.’ If you didn’t count the family dinner on Sunday and being pestered about going to the wedding with Jason. ‘I got the groceries in, did the washing, and generally got settled. My flatmates didn’t go off the rails and trash the place while I was away. It’s not like I was gone for a year.’ Now there was a thought. Twelve months away would take care of what ailed her. But it wouldn’t solve her immediate plan of who to take to the wedding to avoid her mother’s choice.

If only her family didn’t worry about her so much. Sure, her engagement to Steve had been a hellish mess, sending her into a funk ever since, but now she was ready to get out in the dating world, she wanted to do it her way.

On her hip the phone vibrated. Again. Only her mother could be so persistent. Her friends didn’t bother texting while she was at work, knowing she wouldn’t answer. Using personal phones on duty was a no-no. Of course Mum ignored that.

Careful. Mac was watching her closely, too closely, and she didn’t trust that he couldn’t mind-read. He could do pretty much everything else. ‘What?’

‘Nothing.’ He turned away.

‘Good. I’ll get the next patient.’

He came back, looking as though he couldn’t fathom what he was about to say. ‘What is it that you’re not going to ask me to partner you to?’

‘How—?’ The floor tilted. She made a grab for the desk. Drew a breath. Tried to unscramble the words in her head. ‘Has Tamara been talking to you?’ Kelli knew the moment the question was out she was wrong. Tam might poke her with thoughts on Mac but she’d never go behind her back and talk to him about them. Shaking her head, she added, ‘No. She hasn’t. So I don’t understand...’

‘That was who you were talking to as you stood in the middle of the entrance causing people to duck and dive around you?’ His smile was bleak. Not heart-warming at all.

At least her heart didn’t think so. But she needed an answer to his question. It was none of his business, even if his name had been mentioned, but she hated hearing someone talk about her and then look away when they realised she’d heard. It started all sorts of doubts and worries.

So. Go for nonchalant. For cruisy. For this is unimportant. For my mother’s already got me a date so you’re off the hook.

‘I need someone to go with to my brother’s wedding this weekend.’

But... Come on. Add, But it’s all right. I’ve got it sorted.

The words just wouldn’t form.

‘You thought you’d ask me?’

No, I didn’t. Tamara did. But if I’d had the courage to put myself on the line I might have. ‘Just an idea. But I know you’re busy, and it would be boring ’cos you won’t know anyone, and weddings can be tedious unless you’re involved.’ Gulp. ‘Sorry you overheard. It wasn’t meant to be put out there. Girl talk, you know?’

‘I’ll accompany you.’ He sounded as if he’d prefer to be pig-hunting in the mountains.

‘You don’t have to.’ She hadn’t actually asked him. Didn’t want him feeling sorry for her single status. ‘You haven’t thought it through.’

‘Are you stuck for a partner or not?’

‘One of my own choosing, yes.’

‘There’s someone who could go with you?’

‘He’s not an option as far as I’m concerned.’ She shuddered. Whereas this man standing before her shaking his head in bewilderment was the best option ever. Which was why she should take up the Jason offer.

Hello? Thought you’d stopped playing safe.

‘Then you’ve got me.’ Mac watched her, bewilderment giving way to amusement. ‘Cutting it fine, weren’t you?’

‘I have been out of the country for six weeks.’ In case you hadn’t noticed.

‘Don’t I know it.’ Shock removed the amusement. ‘I mean, I... I don’t know what I mean.’

Or what you want me to think you mean. He’d missed her. Not necessarily something to get excited about with that denial hanging between them. ‘You can pull out. I won’t rant and rave all shift.’ Not aloud anyway.

‘You don’t know me very well, Kelli.’ He leaned one delectable hip against the desk and folded his arms across that spread of chest filling his scrubs so well. ‘Saturday it is, then. What time’s the wedding?’

Slowly, slowly, her stomach started heading down towards her knees while her fingers began trembling. As for her brain? It was on lockdown, couldn’t put the words in order, let alone utter them.

Mac’s eyes were fixed on her, waiting. ‘Kelli?’

Gulp. ‘The wedding’s at four.’ As he relaxed her stomach dropped further. ‘At a resort on Waiheke Island. The celebrations are taking place all weekend, starting Friday night with dinner for the two families.’ She’d arranged to have Friday off months ago.

His hands gripped his crossed upper arms. ‘I see.’

Ah, no, you don’t. ‘My parents have booked me a suite at the resort. If you’re my partner...’

‘I’ll have to share it with you,’ Mac finished for her after a hiatus in the conversation. ‘You’re meant to be sharing it with this other guy?’ His face was bleak.

‘No. He’s got his own room.’

‘I could get a room too.’

She shook her head. ‘The resort’s booked out.’

‘So being in the same suite as you will make this other man believe you’re not interested in him.’ Then his gaze darkened. ‘You’re not, are you?’

CHAPTER TWO

AS KELLI’S FACE paled and her expression became stunned, Mac felt nothing but relief. He’d wager his brand-new, top-of-the-range four-wheel drive that she was not the slightest bit interested in this other man and was not using him to make the guy jealous. ‘Why don’t you just tell him you don’t want to go with him?’

‘I’ve tried heaps of times, but with my parents backing him he thinks I’ll see I’m wrong.’

‘Tricky.’

‘Very.’ Her face tightened, her eyes anxious. ‘You won’t be able to swap your Friday shift at such short notice.’ Then the caution deepened. ‘Will you?’

Seemed having a partner was important to Kelli. Deep despair had dulled her eyes earlier when she’d been on the phone presumably talking to Tamara. He’d been within touching distance and yet she hadn’t noticed him or any of the people pushing past. It was that despair that had him offering to help her out because he’d been there, knew how hard it was to face demons alone. Not the sanest offer he’d ever made when he was meant to be trying to put distance between them, but would he retract it? No way. Even if that was where he might be headed this weekend. ‘I’ll pull in a favour. You going to tell me what this is about?’

Her eyes widened as she looked beyond him. ‘Later,’ she murmured.

‘Kelli, can you meet the ambulance due any minute?’ Stephanie was upon them. ‘We’ve got an eighteen-year-old male, drowned while surfing at Piha. He was revived, but secondary drowning is now a concern. You want this one, Mac?’

No, I want a case three floors up where I don’t have to see Kelli, hear her voice, or be reminded what a total pushover I’ve been. Partner Kelli to her brother’s wedding? I can’t believe I offered to do that. Talk about a stupid idea.

It wasn’t as if Kelli had begged him. She’d been shocked by his offer. Mac tapped his head with a clenched hand. ‘I’ll see him. Michael might like to join us since secondary drowning doesn’t occur every day.’ Then the atmosphere around Kelli and himself would be diluted somewhat.

‘I’ll go tell him.’

The bell from the ambulance bay was loud in the sudden silence between him and Kelli. Then she shook her head and rushed off to collect their patient, those endless, shapely legs eating up the distance with haste.

Mac watched her go. Waited for her to return. One hour working with her and he knew he’d made a big mistake filling the vacancy with Kelli. Not that he’d had any choice. She was distraction personified, made it impossible to think logically. Hence putting his hand up for that wedding position. What other reckless suggestions would he be making after a whole shift? A week? He’d be better off spending the coming weekend at Piha Beach where he could dig a large hole in the black sand dunes and bury himself, not spending the days on Waiheke with Kelli, mixing and mingling with her family, and no doubt being given a thorough look over.

No, mate, that’s not your problem. The real problem here is that hotel suite. Double beds are a given in these places.

All he could hope for was that there were two. But something deep in his gut told him what fate thought of that idea.

Two nights sharing a room with Kelli would test him beyond measure. Hell, one night dancing with her in Sydney had burned him deep. Deep enough to bring up all the walls to keep from getting close when they were outside her hotel room and the enormity of what they’d been about to do hit home. Even casual sex with Kelli would’ve exposed more of himself than he had since his beloved Cherie. Mac grimaced. No pun intended. He hadn’t been ready to let his emotions out of the box when they were still tender and bruised. The weeks Kelli’d been in Fiji had been a relief. Had given him time to put that escapade into perspective. He’d been determined that Kelli was not going to become a part of his life outside work. Yet one hour in and already that was a total screw up.

They were going to spend a whole weekend together. All because of his big gob.

Over the past six weeks he’d missed her more than he’d believed possible. But he wasn’t ready. Doubted he ever would be. Not even a short fling with no strings. Doubted Kelli was a casual fling kind of girl given the intensity she approached people, work, pretty much everything, with. Unfortunately for her, for him, he’d given his heart to Cherie, and didn’t have a second one beating in his chest. Moving beyond the dark that had resided in there since—since the day his life had blown apart and grief became his norm—wasn’t possible.

Yet whenever an email from Kelli had come in on the department site during the past weeks he’d read it avidly to see what she was up to. Her account of fishing far out from land in a tiny canoe with the locals had had his heart racing, even though she’d obviously returned safely. There’d been a photo of a grinning Kelli holding up a trevally she’d caught. That grin had got to him, tightened his gut and other parts of his anatomy, but, worse, it had started gnawing away as if he was missing the point somehow.

He’d wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat only to lie staring at the ceiling, his heart pounding while images of Kelli paraded through his skull. Kelli in that figure-defining bridesmaid dress, Kelli dancing at Tamara and Conor’s wedding celebrations, Kelli strolling down Darling Harbour pier afterwards in six-inch-high green shoes as if she were in sneakers. In his arms, reminding him of what he’d lost and couldn’t contemplate opening up for again. In case he...

‘Mac?’ Stephanie waved a hand in front of him. ‘Your patient’s in cubicle two.’

Truly? How had he missed the stretcher being pushed past? Was it possible that Fiji Hospital ED needed to swap out a doctor requiring to upgrade his or her skills? Could it be a twelve-month exchange? Because he was available, as of right now. ‘I’ll just grab Michael.’

‘He’s already there.’

If he didn’t know better he’d believe Stephanie was laughing at him. So he didn’t answer, didn’t give her anything else to be amused about. Pushing through the curtain into cubicle two, he introduced himself to the young man. ‘Beau, I’m Mac, a doctor. I hear you got into some trouble surfing this afternoon.’

‘The ambo guy said I drowned. But that was ages ago. Why am I in here? The surf club guys brought me round.’ His hands were picking at the bedcover. Grumpy and twitchy.

‘Drowning’s no picnic. We need to monitor you for a while. Also I want to see if there’s any water still in your lungs.’

‘I reckon I coughed it all up. A little bit can’t hurt, can it?’ The words were snapped out. Aftershock from drowning, or his normal mannerism? He did appear a little bewildered.

‘Do you remember much about things before the helicopter picked you up off Piha Beach?’

‘Lots of people hanging around, talking at me.’

Kelli already had the pulse oximeter on his finger to keep tabs on his oxygen saturation. She was focused on their patient.

As he should be.

‘Can you sit still for me, mate?’ Michael asked. ‘I can’t listen to your lungs while you’re moving so much.’

Beau scowled but sat stiffly, only moving to breathe deep when Michael asked.

Mac explained. ‘You drowned, and had to be resuscitated. We need to keep an eye on you for a while yet in case there are any complications.’ Mac glanced at Kelli. ‘Heart rate?’

‘Sixty-nine.’

Near to normal. Moving in beside her, Mac said quietly, ‘Watch for mood swings. Beau seems edgy, but that might be his personality.’ He tried not to breathe in that scent of flowers, but his lungs couldn’t hold out until he’d moved away. Roses. Red ones. Like the ones in his mother’s garden when he was growing up. But this scent was beguiling and tempting and—unwelcome. He bit down on the groan of longing building in the back of his throat. The night ahead stretched out interminably.

A bell sounded from the ambulance bay. Relieved to have an excuse to get out of this airless cubicle, Mac turned to head away. Drawn back to Kelli, he coughed. Let it go, man. But he just couldn’t. ‘It’s good to have you back. The place’s been dull lately.’ It had? She hadn’t even worked the same shift as him until today.

‘I’m not noisy.’ The tone might’ve been sharp but her mouth twisted in that adorable way he’d begun noticing at the wedding dinner.

‘I always know when you’re around.’ Talking too much, Mac Taylor. There were hours to get through yet. And this was only day one of three hundred and sixty-five minus weekends. All those days to get to know Kelli and maybe understand why he felt different around her, if there was some hope for his future.

Kelli’s head shot up. Despair and puzzlement shone out of her cobalt eyes. A faint pink blush stained her cheeks. ‘Just as well I’ve been away then, isn’t it?’

Mac forced his mouth shut and made for the curtain again, his stomach in a knot. He didn’t trust himself not to come out with something equally stupid as that last little nugget. Before she’d taken the job in Fiji he’d only ever seen her as her shift was finishing and his beginning. Yes, and he’d always noticed her. Now he’d gone and told her much the same. Didn’t make sense. It wasn’t as though he was interested in her outside work.

Then why had he taken her to that Sydney night club after Conor and Tamara’s wedding? How could he not, when she’d been beautiful in her emerald-coloured fitted gown and those shoes that weren’t made for walking? Yet Kelli had walked the length of the pier and back in them. She had to be some kind of acrobat to be able to do that without falling off the heels and breaking her long neck. A delectable, beautiful, annoying acrobat whom he’d kissed—a lot. And ever since then, he’d not been able to forget any moment of that night. Was that why he’d agreed to go to this next wedding with her? Because after the last ceremony they’d made out together, and might repeat the scenario? He needed his head read—by an expert in craziness.

Behind the curtain he heard Beau ask in a wavering voice, ‘Can I phone my mum?’

‘Of course,’ Kelli answered. ‘Here’s your daypack. Will your phone be in there somewhere?’

‘I hope so.’ The guy suddenly sounded much younger and vulnerable.

‘I’ll leave you alone to call her, but I won’t go far in case you’re worried something might happen. Want a coffee?’

Mac made a beeline for Resus and the patient being wheeled through from the ambulance. Having Kelli find him hanging around outside the cubicle was not an option. He might feel like a seventeen-year-old in lust but for Kelli to recognise that would blow the lid on any hope of working together with some semblance of normality. As for what spending the weekend in close proximity of each other would do to him, he couldn’t begin to imagine.

The paramedic greeted him with, ‘Mac, this is George Falkiner, fifty-one, a digger driver. The ground gave way under his three-ton machine and he was tossed out and then hit by the bucket. He’s stat one, hasn’t regained consciousness in the time we’ve been with him. Multiple fractures to both arms and the right leg. Suspected internal injuries around the spleen and liver.’

‘I’m surprised he’s still breathing. Let’s get him onto a bed and hooked up to our gear. On the count, everyone.’ Their patient was quickly transferred from the stretcher to the bed, and Mac began an examination. ‘Stephanie, I need blood bank on the line yesterday.’ The guy was losing blood from a torn artery in his groin faster than water leaving a bath. Those internal injuries would be bleeding too. ‘Get some group O sent down and a tech to take a crossmatch sample for further transfusions.’

‘Onto it.’

‘Then call Radiology.’ Mac had started at the man’s skull, gently probing for crushed bones and bleeds. He did not like the guy’s chances, but that wouldn’t stop him doing everything within his power to save him. Including putting all thoughts of Kelli aside.

Around him nurses and another doctor worked quietly and efficiently stemming blood flows, monitoring heart rate and blood pressure, examining limbs and probing for other injuries. A lab tech arrived with blood and a test kit to take a sample for blood grouping. George Falkiner had a damned good team on his side.

The cardiac monitor emitted the flat sound of no heartbeat. Mac snatched up the paddles. ‘Stand back.’ With a check that everyone had done as ordered he applied the electric jolt needed to restart the man’s heart. It worked. ‘Now there’s a wonder. He’s lost so much blood I didn’t expect to bring him back.’ But for how long? Sometimes things worked right, and sometimes: well, Mac wasn’t going there. His patient didn’t need the negative vibes. He’d managed to score enough on his own.

Mac was completely unaware of anything going on outside Resus. His focus was entirely on his patient, and it wasn’t until they’d finally stopped the bleeding except for some internal strife, that he began to think there was a chance this man might make it. Radiology took their pictures, Theatre was on standby, and a general surgeon and orthopaedic surgeon were up to speed on what was required for their patient.

When George was finally wheeled away to Theatre Mac straightened his aching back and rolled his neck to loosen the muscles that were sporadically cramping. ‘Glad that’s over.’

‘Grab a break while you can.’ Michael spoke from the desk. ‘The numbers are starting to crank up out in the waiting room but nothing urgent. I’ll go after you get back.’

‘Think I will.’ A cold drink and something to eat would do wonders for the weariness gripping him now that the urgency of that case had gone. Tossing his scrubs into the laundry bin and pulling on clean ones, he headed for his office and the snack he’d put together earlier at home.

Once at his office desk he decided to stay put and do a bit of paperwork while he chewed on sandwiches. Even signing off a single document was one less to worry about. Not mentioning that in this airless pokey room he was safe from Kelli scent, Kelli comments, and definitely the wariness in those blue eyes that had appeared from the moment he’d agreed to be her partner this coming weekend.

Knock, knock. A head popped around his door. Kelli. Of course. So much for a few minutes’ escape.

‘Hi, everything okay?’

She stayed in the doorway. ‘Just giving you the heads up. A nine-year-old girl fell ten metres off the family deck onto a fence post. Stat one. The chopper’s bringing her in from Waitakere, ETA approximately ten minutes.’

Mac winced. ‘Nine, eh? That’s a small body to land on a solid object from that high.’

‘The mother’s with her.’ Kelli stared at her hands. ‘A parent’s nightmare really.’

‘How do parents cope with not always being able to keep their kids safe? It would drive me crazy.’ Keeping those he loved or cared about safe was as ingrained as taking a shower every day. Not that he always did well at saving people. He looked at his bare ring finger as if he needed reminding.

‘I guess they can only set the boundaries, keep a vigilant eye out, and cross their fingers.’

That didn’t stop bad things happening. He’d done all of that and yet his wife had died. In bed. Beside him. While he slept. He was a doctor, and that had meant absolutely nothing when he was most needed. He should’ve sensed something was wrong with Cherie even in his comatose state brought on by exhaustion after too many sixteen-hour shifts in ED. But he hadn’t. The aneurysm had been a silent killer, stealing the love of his life and their unborn infant.

Pushing down on the flare of pain and distress, he growled, ‘Let me know when the helicopter’s landed.’

‘Yes, Doctor.’ The door closed with a small bang.

Fair cop. It wasn’t Kelli’s fault he was flawed, hadn’t been able to save Cherie. No, that was his to own. But it didn’t give him licence to be surly with Kelli. Yet how to keep her away? How to stop the fissures she was opening within him from spreading throughout his soul just by being around her? She had hang-ups aplenty. Was always trying to appease people and keep the department happy and relaxed—except when it came to him. Then she could be lippy as all hell. Lippy. Lips. Oh, hell.

Those lips, that mouth. Soft while demanding, hot and giving, made to bring a man to his knees. How he’d walked away that night was beyond him. Showed the strength of his fear of opening up to another woman, because, as far as he could work out, that was the only reason he’d hightailed it away from her.

Hopefully his abrupt dismissal might keep her distant for the rest of the shift. By tomorrow he’d be over whatever was tying him in knots every time Kelli came near, and remember only that she was an exceptional nurse who always went the extra distance for her patients.

An attractive nurse with a body that filled scrubs in a tantalising way they weren’t designed for.

A woman with shiny dark blonde hair piled on top of her head and kept in place with carefully positioned decorative combs. And when those combs came out, the thick locks had been satin in his fingers.

He wouldn’t think of the smile that warmed him right down to his toes, and the laugh that lodged in his chest when he wasn’t on guard.

All of that was before Sydney, buster. Not only since then.

Mac threw his pen at the far wall. Ping. Didn’t underline his feelings. The water bottle followed. Bigger ping. Just as well he’d already drunk the contents.

Not feeling any better here. Cherie had been the love of his life. Had been? Still was. There wasn’t room for another one. He’d never recover if something went wrong a second time. He was still recovering from losing Cherie.

Where was that chopper?

Ten minutes could whizz past in seconds, or it could drag out into an hour. Today was the drawn-out version. Mac chewed and chewed on his tasteless sandwich: cold beef with zucchini pickle care of his mother. She sent him a package about once a month, filled with jars of homemade jams and pickles, a fruit cake, and sometimes in winter homemade chocolates, which he gave to the kid next door. Comfort food that he enjoyed but wouldn’t admit to in case it made him look like a spoiled brat.

His mother had been the cushion in his life growing up with a tyrannical father who believed his way was the only way for just about everything. Make that absolutely everything. So the packages were warmly accepted as a reminder of his mother’s unconditional love and how not everyone was hard on others. They’d stopped when Mac married, but about a month after Cherie died there’d been one on the doorstep when he’d got home from work, and they hadn’t stopped since.

Stephanie waltzed through the door without any preamble. ‘Our girl’s being brought down from the landing pad now.’

Instantly on his feet, Mac tossed the remainder of his snack in the bin. ‘Let’s go.’

‘If it’s okay, I’ve put Kelli on this one. She’s good with the littlies.’

So were other nurses, and they weren’t distracting. But, ‘Why wouldn’t it be all right?’

Stephanie watched him, her head on a slight angle. ‘I think you can probably answer that better than me, but it seems she’s got you rattled.’

Fortunately Stephanie headed out of the room so he didn’t have to come up with some unlikely reply, denial being at the top of the list. And if he denied what she was implying, he’d be lying.

His gut had been in turmoil from the moment he’d seen Kelli on the sidewalk outside the hospital on the phone to Tamara, and didn’t feel as if it intended settling down any time soon.

Time to focus on the job, starting with the young girl now arriving in ED.

* * *

Izzie had been given morphine making her barely comatose, which was a good thing, Mac decided as they worked to find the extent of her injuries. She’d hit the post with her thigh, fracturing the bone in three places. Her pelvis hadn’t come off any better.

‘Thankfully none of her organs were damaged,’ Mac informed the girl’s mother as they waited for the orderly to take the child to Theatre to have those bones seen to. ‘Nor is there any head injury apart from the cut above her eye, though there’s a severe whiplash to her neck, which will cause ongoing issues with headaches and muscle tension. Izzie will be referred to a neurologist for help with that.’

Tears poured down the young mother’s face as she gripped her unconscious daughter’s hand. ‘But she will be all right? Won’t she? Please say yes.’

He wanted to. He really wanted to. It was inherent in him to make people feel better, or safe, or at least able to function normally. It was something that had started the day he saw his father kicking the family dog for being sick on the kitchen floor. Mac had snatched Pippy away and run for the garden shed, only to be followed and given a lesson in not letting animals or people turn him into a miserable excuse for a man.

But being honest was right up there too. ‘Izzie may always walk with a limp. Whiplash can also be hard to completely put right.’

The tears became a torrent. ‘My poor little girl. It’s not fair. She’s always been such a monkey, climbing trees and ladders and getting into places no one would’ve thought possible. She terrifies me at times, but there’s no stopping her. She thinks she’s bulletproof.’

‘She’s probably had the biggest wake-up call possible.’ Or she’ll take it on the chin and carry on being a monkey. ‘Parenting, eh? Who said it was easy?’

‘You got kids, Doctor?’

Cherie had been four months pregnant when she died. ‘No.’ The word spat out, so he added with more restraint, ‘Not yet.’ Never. Unless... Unless he could talk about the past, undo those crippling fears enough to let the sun shine in—as in Kelli sunshine.

Right that moment Kelli walked past, helping her next patient, an elderly man with what appeared to be severe arthritis in his leg. She did not acknowledge him. Had been distant in the room with Izzie. Had been distant ever since leaving his office an hour ago.

Hopefully she’d find him a smile before the end of the week or it was going to be a long, awkward weekend on Waiheke Island. It was already a long, awkward shift.

Bring on eleven p.m.

* * *

That time did eventually tick over. Monday’s were never frantic but this one seemed quieter than usual. In other ways Mac’s mind was constantly on alert, Kelli alert. Her laughter, her voice, scent, the way the air cracked like an approaching storm. For eight hours he’d been put through the wringer, his body tense and filled with need. Immediately after completing handover he grabbed his bag and headed to the staff gym in the hospital basement. A hard workout would fix what ailed him.

In shorts and sleeveless sports top Mac strode into the workout room and slammed to a halt. He wasn’t alone. Nothing new in that. But never before had Kelli Barnett been here at the same time. Then again, she worked night shift now. He hadn’t known she worked out. Memories of firm muscles and a flat abdomen, a stunning figure accentuated by that dress, waved at him, reminding him of how his groin had tightened. Was tightening now. Went to show he hadn’t really thought about it.

As he watched those long legs running on the treadmill his heart rate was increasing exponentially. Endless legs wound around his waist as they—Gulp. Out of here, now. She hadn’t seen him. He’d be gone before that changed. No way was he working out in the same room as Kelli.

‘Hey, Mac, how’s things?’

Spinning around, he came face to face with the surgeon who’d operated on young Izzie. ‘Andrew, haven’t seen you in here for a while.’ And I’m not about to, considering I’m on my way out.

The pounding of feet on that treadmill was increasing in speed and noise. If Kelli was working up to a top speed she wouldn’t be looking around the gym to see who else was here. He might still get away.

‘Want to lift some weights?’ Andrew asked.

‘Not tonight.’ He stepped aside, intent on leaving, but couldn’t resist glancing across to the treadmills.

Caught. Kelli was holding onto the handlebar with one hand and staring at him as though she was oblivious to what her legs were doing. Her face a picture of surprise and—and annoyance? Either way, she definitely wasn’t happy to see him.

She stumbled. Grabbed at the bar with her free hand, tried to get back to the measured, fast steps required to keep up with the machine’s set speed. She kept tripping, as if she couldn’t quite get it right.

Mac was already halfway to her. ‘Hit the slow button,’ he called as worry thickened his throat. Fall and chances were she’d twist an ankle or sprain a wrist.

The treadmill stopped. Instantly. Kelli lurched forward, banging into the control panel.

‘The slow button, not the off one.’ But he was too late telling her that.

Kelli remained upright, her breasts rising and falling fast, her hands at her sides. But man, could she curse.

Mac stopped beside the treadmill and watched her, his worry backing off, replaced with silent laughter as she gave herself a right lecture. ‘Come on. You’re not that bad,’ he intervened at last.

Then she removed earplugs and glanced at him. ‘Did you say something?’

‘Nothing as potent as that diatribe I just heard.’

Heat seared her cheeks, turning them a sharp shade of crimson. ‘Ouch. Did anyone else hear me?’

‘I doubt it. You’re a quiet banshee.’

‘I’m stupid, is what I am. Losing focus and nearly falling flat on my backside. I can see the photos now. All dressed up for the wedding and sporting bruises up and down my thighs.’

That brought up a mental picture Mac couldn’t contain. His gaze dropped to her thighs. Under Lycra they were toned, smooth, mouth-watering. The skin he could see was tanned, probably the result of time spent in the tropical sun. Then he heard the rest of her sentence. ‘Is your dress very short?’

‘It’s ankle length.’ Kelli looked away. ‘With splits up both sides.’

‘How high do these splits go?’ He wasn’t going to survive if they reached higher than her shins.

‘Umm, to the top of my thighs.’ She still didn’t look at him.

‘Oh, man.’ Survival was out. His heart was already practising speed-dialling and another part of his anatomy was doing a sit-up. ‘I see.’ Unfortunately he could. His imagination was particularly overactive tonight. Pumping a few weights wouldn’t have helped at all. He’d probably pull a muscle. Don’t go there, his mind shouted.

‘You getting on a treadmill?’ his tormentor asked.

‘I’ll hit the rowing machine first.’ Instantly he wanted to snatch the words back. What was wrong with one of the cycle machines? They weren’t directly in front of the treadmills.

‘Right,’ Kelli muttered and punched some buttons to start the conveyor beneath her feet moving. ‘Right,’ a little louder as she slipped her earplugs back in place, pressed the gradient mode and began pounding uphill.

CHAPTER THREE

KELLI RAN UP and down hills on the same spot until the distance monitor came up with five kilometres.

Mac was still in front of her, sweat pouring off him as he worked those pecs and shoulder muscles, rowing his heart out.

While her heart was racing with exertion, and disconcerting need for the man in front of her.

She ran another two kilometres. Her legs might be getting tired, but her brain was still tripping around fast as though it had received a sugar bomb. Not lust, or desire, or anything to do with Mac. Couldn’t be. Those emotions were on lockdown, afraid to surface in case she got sucked in and her heart torn out again when she was only just getting it back in shape after the last time. Now that they were spending the weekend together she had to be more vigilant about keeping hot thoughts about him under wraps. She couldn’t have him looking at her and reading her emotions and needs. Nor could she deal with him kissing her senseless then turning away. Not a second time.

Did she mention desire? Hot and expanding throughout her weary body, her sluggish muscles; livening her up, not preparing her for sleep when she got home.

Time to stop the machine. Nothing was going to shut her brain up. Not in here anyway. Not with Mac wearing the sleeveless top that showed sweat-slicked, tanned skin, and muscles that reminded her how hard that body had felt under her palms.

Slowing the treadmill at a sensible pace this time, Kelli dragged in lungfuls of air and gave up trying to ignore the beautiful sight before her. Mightn’t get another opportunity.

Those broad shoulders tapering down to a trim waist and flat belly made for a perfect package. That night dancing in Sydney he’d made her feel small and dainty. Enough so she’d let her hair down and enjoyed being with Mac on the dance floor, letting loose in a way that had made her briefly forget all her insecurities about her size.

‘You going to stand there all night? Or are you going to do some more exercise?’ Mac called over his glistening shoulder.

‘You got eyes in the back of that shaggy head?’ His thick, dark blond hair had lost all semblance of the usual clean-cut style, instead stuck to his scalp with small curls appearing at the edges. Cute. As in man cute, not baby cute.

‘Something like that.’ The rowing machine was slowing, Mac relaxing and letting his arms drop. When he stood up he scrubbed his face with his hand towel. ‘I’m starving. Feel like hitting The Grafton All-Nighter for something to eat?’

Kelli would’ve said no, she didn’t need food; but her stomach had other ideas, announcing with a loud rumble that some grub was the best idea all night. She bit back a curse. Already she doubted she’d get any sleep tonight, and spending the next hour with him would cancel tomorrow night’s quota of zeds as well. ‘Thanks, but I’ll head home and see what’s in the fridge.’ Yoghurt, tomatoes, lettuce, a cucumber and a loaf of bread. Yesterday’s shopping hadn’t been extravagant or expansive.

‘You want to avoid me?’ Mac asked softly.

‘Yes.’

‘When I’m officially your partner for the weekend?’ he added in that soft voice that lifted bumps on her skin.

‘Isn’t that enough?’

A spark of hurt flicked across his face.

Got that wrong, hadn’t she? ‘I thought it’d be enough with you meeting me on Friday and going from there. I didn’t want to take up any more of your time than I’m already doing.’ He hadn’t exactly rushed to welcome her when she’d turned up for work that afternoon after a six-week absence, so he wasn’t likely to want to hang with her much now. Yet he had volunteered for the weekend. Nothing made sense when it came to her and Mac.

His hurt remained. Who’d have known he was so sensitive? Not her. Which only added to the guilt starting to crowd her mind.

‘I need to be brought up to speed on a few things,’ he admonished, still softly, but there was no denying the grit behind his words. ‘I can’t put my foot in it when it comes to your family. They’ll expect me to know something about them. Then there’s the other guy.’

Fair enough. ‘Five minutes for a shower?’

‘You sure you’re female?’ Mac started to smile, then stopped. ‘See you shortly.’ He was off, striding across the room, putting distance between them quick fast.

Sharing a meal at The Grafton All-Nighter was going to be a load of fun.

* * *

‘I’ve got Friday off,’ Mac told Kelli after they’d placed orders for bacon and eggs, and lots of tea.

‘That was quick.’ Keen? Nah, determined, more like. He was known for his take-no-prisoners approach to getting things done.

‘It comes with having done many favours over the past year.’ He sculled some water. ‘What time do you intend catching the ferry to Waiheke on Friday?’

‘How about four-thirty at the heliport downtown?’

His eyes widened, but all he said was, ‘Fine.’

Kelli felt driven to explain. ‘It’s my dad’s way. Ever since he became successful and the business grew so huge he’s enjoyed sharing it round, feels he owes it to those who knew and helped him back in the dirt-poor days.’ Her father was kind, generous to a fault, not a show-off.

‘What’s he in?’

‘Civil engineering.’

‘With the growth going on in Auckland I can see how he’s done well.’

‘The harder he worked, the luckier he became,’ Kelli quipped, but couldn’t deny her pride. ‘My brothers, all three of them, work in the business. An engineer, a lawyer and an accountant slash business consultant.’

‘You stepped outside the square.’ Something passed through that intense gaze, something she couldn’t name. Admiration? For her? Not likely. Probably a question about why she hadn’t gone into the family business that he was coming up with a load of incorrect answers to.

‘After growing up hearing about the company day in, day out, I wanted something different, something that was about me. Choosing a career where I could help people, make them feel better, was it.’

‘We’re on the same page there. Primarily I did medicine to help others. Plus being good at science and maths made it a no-brainer.’ Mac leaned back in his chair, stretched those long legs to the side of the small table. ‘Why is helping others so important to you?’

Eek. This was getting serious. Trying for nonchalance, she told him, ‘I can’t explain it. It’s just who I am.’ There was truth in that, possibly brought about from the hurt she’d dealt with, hurt she hoped others didn’t suffer. ‘I could ask the same of you.’

‘I hate seeing people in pain.’ Short, snappy words, with a dirty great stop sign behind them. Followed by, ‘Which brother is getting married?’

Back on track, off taboo terrain. ‘Billy, the engineer. His fiancé, Leanne, works in the accounts department of the firm. My other brothers are married and their wives also work there. I’m definitely the odd one out.’

‘That bother you?’ His mouth did that delectable lift at the corner, and naturally her stomach got all hot and stroppy. Nothing compared to how the rest of her body was reacting.

‘It’s nothing new. When I was twelve I was sent to a private school where many of the wealthy send their kids. I didn’t fit in. Dad hadn’t quite made the big league then but he wanted me to have the best. I was smart, but not filthy rich. Some of the girls were horrid to me.’ Understatement. ‘So I stopped going to school, hid out at the mall or the library.’

‘Tell me more.’

She’d not be mentioning that they called her ‘elephant’. ‘When my parents found out I demanded to be sent to a public school, and not the one down the road from the private school but the one in another suburb where the chances of running into any of those awful girls were remote.’

‘You got your way.’ He wasn’t asking.

‘I was desperate. When they backed me I became determined to prove they’d made the right choice. In some ways it was harder to get ahead in the lower decile school, in others downright easy because no one wanted to knock me down all the time.’ Because on day one I arrived with a friendly smile and a willingness to fit in by keeping others happy. Three strapping brothers at my back didn’t go astray either.

‘You were bullied at that private school?’ His mouth tightened even before she answered.

‘All the time by a roving pack of brainless bitches.’ She was surprised by the strength of emotion overwhelming her as she remembered being taunted constantly, punished for things that happened, even when she hadn’t been there. ‘But I’ve moved on, grown a backbone, and become the person I want to be.’ Would he believe that little white lie? Because it was a work in progress. She’d thought she’d got past those girls until Steve had undermined her confidence, resurrected her flaws. Now she knew from the bottom of her battered heart there’d be no leaping into commitment until she trusted herself to be true to Kelli, no matter what any man threw at her.

‘I imagine you always had a backbone.’

‘You do? Thanks.’ File that one with the good stuff that came her way. Not that it was strictly correct.

The waitress arrived with their meals and cutlery, banging the plates down and shifting water glasses too hard so the contents slopped on the table.

When she’d wiped up and gone Mac asked, ‘So who’s the man you’re avoiding by taking me to the wedding?’

‘Jason Alexander. A lawyer. A friend of my brothers’ from years back.’

‘What’s wrong with him?’

‘Nothing really. He’s friendly, kind, hard-working, caring. Fits in with my lot all too easily.’

Mac’s eyes narrowed. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’

‘He’s too nice.’

‘In other words, boring?’

‘He doesn’t tickle my keys.’ Eek. Just the thought of Jason tickling any part of her turned her cold. ‘My mother thinks he’d be right for me—you know, as in settle-down-with-him right.’ She shuddered. ‘I’m being unfair. He really is a great guy, but he doesn’t do it for me.’

‘How come your parents don’t accept that?’

Because her ex had been cruel, selfish, and devastating in a nasty way. And because she’d been blind to his faults until he’d cut her down so painfully. ‘Sometimes they’re overprotective. I’m twenty-eight, but being the daughter after three sons comes with complications.’

‘Am I going to be seen as the intruder?’ There. A wee smile.

Might be wee, but it was powerful, switching on all her hot spots. ‘Absolutely. You’ll be quizzed on your intentions, asked about your favourite sport and car, and my brothers will challenge you to anything they can find, tiddlywinks if that’s all there is.’ Suddenly this was fun. As if Mac and she were good together. Steady. Getting ahead of herself. ‘You’re still on?’