“But tell me this, my sweet, who do you hate most?” About the Author Title Page CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN Copyright

“But tell me this, my sweet, who do you hate most?”

Jordan continued, “Me for showing you what you’re capable of feeling? Or yourself because, for those few minutes, you acted like a real woman, not a scared little girl!”

Jordan let her go, his gaze contemptuous as he strode back up the path. Katherine watched him go with tears burning in her eyes. She wanted to scream after him that it wasn’t true, but he wouldn’t believe her. Why should he? Both of them knew what had happened that night. One year later she was still paying for it.

Jennifer Taylor was born in Liverpool, England, and still lives in the northwest, several miles outside the city. Books have always been a passion of hers, so it seemed natural to choose a career in librarianship, a wise decision as the library was where she met her husband, Bill. Twenty years and two children later, they are still happily married, with the added bonus that she has discovered how challenging and enjoyable writing romance fiction can be!

Wife For Real
Jennifer Taylor

www.millsandboon.co.uk

CHAPTER ONE

KATHERINE felt the ripple of excitement which ran around the church as another guest arrived for the wedding. It had to be someone really special, she mused, to have caused such a stir. She turned to see who it was but one of the ushers was blocking her view of the newcomer.

She turned back, and smiled as she caught her brother’s eye. Peter gave her a brief smile in return, then looked away almost immediately. He seemed lost in a world of his own as he sat with his head bowed and his fingers worrying the carnation pinned to his lapel.

Katherine frowned, wondering not for the first time what was wrong. It was normal for the groom to be a little nervous on his wedding day, but even last night, when they’d had dinner together, Peter had appeared unusually tense. He had eaten only a few mouthfuls of the meal she had prepared for them, but had drunk rather too much of the wine which had accompanied it.

Katherine had been tempted to say something about that. But she had consoled herself with the thought that Peter would have drunk far more if he had gone out with his friends for a stag night party. She had been delighted when he had asked if he could spend the evening before the wedding with her, yet now it struck her as an odd thing to have done. Was there something wrong? Something that Peter hadn’t told her...?

‘Katherine.’

She recognized the deep voice at once and her heart seemed to stop beating as she turned to look at the tall, dark-haired man standing beside the pew. ‘Jordan... what... what are you doing here?’

‘Where else would I be on such a special occasion?’ He smiled cynically as he slid into the seat beside her. ‘I’m sure people would start wondering what was wrong if I didn’t turn up for your brother’s wedding, and that’s the last thing we want, isn’t it? So let’s set everyone’s mind at rest straight away.’

Before Katherine could guess what he intended, he leant over and brushed her mouth with a kiss. His lips were cool, despite the heat of the June day. They sent a tingle, almost like a shiver, racing through her. Katherine jerked her head away, her grey eyes darkening in shock as they met the mocking blue ones which were staring at her.

‘Smile, darling. Everyone’s watching.’ Jordan laughed softly, so softly that Katherine knew she was the only one to hear the taunt in his voice. ‘I’m sure they’re all delighted to see husband and wife having such a touching reunion—today of all days.’

Katherine drew back abruptly. She could feel the shock rippling through her; frissons of alarm were mixed with other feelings she didn’t want to think about too hard right then. ‘I... I had no idea that you were coming. Charles never mentioned that you would be back in time for the wedding.’

‘Didn’t he? But then Charles only manages the firm in my absence. He isn’t my confessor. I don’t report everything I intend to do to him.’ Jordan smiled, but his eyes were hard. ‘You’ve seen him recently, then, I take it?’

Katherine nodded, wondering why she felt so uncomfortable. It was the way Jordan was looking at her, his expression almost accusing, although she had no idea what she was being accused of.

‘I saw Charles on Thursday night, as it happens. He’d managed to get tickets for the final performance by the Russian Ballet. It was kind of him to invite me to go with him.’

Her grey eyes challenged him to disagree but Jordan merely shrugged. ‘Very kind. But then that’s the sort of man Charles is—kind and considerate. Nothing at all like the man you married, Katherine.’ He gave a deep laugh as he saw her colour rise at the mocking comment. ‘Still, Charles does lack my one real virtue. He doesn’t have my money, does he? What a pity. He could be perfect apart from that rather large flaw.’

Jordan picked up the service sheet and started to read through the list of hymns. Katherine took a small breath but it didn’t help. She could feel herself trembling, and hated the feeling that she wasn’t in control. It was all due to the strange way Jordan was acting—that plus his unexpected arrival, of course.

She frowned, wondering why he had turned up like this. He had always been meticulous about letting her know if he would be attending any function they had been invited to. So why hadn’t he done so this time? After all, it was a system which had worked well over the past year. Appearing together on the odd occasion kept up the front that their marriage wasn’t the sham they knew it to be.

Jordan had made it plain when she had told him that she could never live with him that he didn’t want anyone to know the truth. Katherine had been happy to agree to his demands because they suited her as well.

It had proved surprisingly easy to convince everyone that their marriage was a success simply by attending a few engagements together. Jordan was out of the country on business so often that they had the perfect excuse to keep those occasions to the minimum—no more than three or four in the past year, in fact. Whenever they met, he treated her with a cool courtesy which had soon quietened any fears she’d had as far as his motives were concerned.

They lived virtually separate lives beyond that. When he was in London, Jordan either slept at his club or Katherine went to stay with her father so that he could use the flat in Mayfair. He travelled extensively, overseeing the latest projects his company was working on, so that sometimes Katherine found herself wondering how much time they would have spent together anyway, even if they hadn’t come to this arrangement.

Business came first with Jordan, and nothing was allowed to get in the way of it—especially not any unsavoury gossip as to the state of their marriage. But surely it would make more sense in the not-too-distant future for Jordan to rid himself of a wife who didn’t fulfil his needs, and find another who did?

Katherine gave a small, bitter smile as she glanced at him. But then why would he choose to go to all that trouble when there must be many women eager to supply everything he wanted without him making such a commitment? Jordan could easily have his cake and eat it. Katherine was certain that he did!

He must have. sensed her watching him because he suddenly turned. His eyes darkened as they rested on her delicate face in its frame of soft blonde hair. The expression in them was hard to define.

‘Mmm, one might almost think that you missed me, Katherine. Did you? After all, it’s been... what... almost two months since we saw one another last?’ He laughed huskily. ‘They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, don’t they?’

‘So I believe. However, like most maxims, there is always another to contradict it.’ She gave a sharp laugh and felt her heart beat a little faster as she heard how false it sounded; she wondered if Jordan had heard its falseness too. Try as she might she could never be truly indifferent to him. There was just something about him which got under her skin no matter how hard she fought not to let it affect her. ‘Out of sight, out of mind seems appropriate in this case.’

She looked away, yet she couldn’t deny that she felt shaken by what he-had said. Why on earth should he imagine that she missed him? The more distance there was between them the better, as far as she was concerned, and she would have thought he felt that way as well.

The organist suddenly struck up the bridal march to announce the arrival of the bride. Katherine stood up with the rest of the congregation. Her arm brushed Jordan’s and she drew away at once, but it would be impossible to avoid touching him.

The tiny village church was packed with guests and there was little room to move—far too little to avoid making repeated contact. Yet each time it happened Katherine felt another jolt of awareness run through her, so that by the time the ceremony was over her nerves where in shreds. Maybe it was that which made her overreact when Jordan took her arm as they followed the bride and groom down the aisle.

‘Let me go!’ Katherine dragged her arm out of his grasp as she glared up at him with stormy grey eyes.

‘Surely you’re going to forgive me darling?’ Jordan smiled, but his eyes were glacial as he took her arm again and held it firmly. ‘I did try to get here sooner but it was one delay after another. Flying back from Tokyo is a little more difficult than getting here from Mayfair!’

Katherine heard someone behind them laugh in appreciation of Jordan’s wit. She only wished she could share their amusement. However, another glance at Jordan’s face warned her that it would be a mistake to cause a scene.

In silence she let him lead her from the church, waiting until they were well away from the rest of the guests who were milling around as the photographer tried to organise them into groups. Only then did she wrench her arm free again, making no attempt to hide her displeasure.

‘Oh, dear, something does seem to have upset you. I suppose you’d better tell me what it is and get it over with.’ Jordan raised a lazy brow, although his face was hard behind the smiling mask. In the sunlight she could see silver streaks in the dark hair at his temples and the tracing of fine lines which netted his eyes at the corners.

Jordan would be forty in a year or so’s time. He had lived his life on the edge for so long that the years had left their mark on him, even though they hadn’t softened his attitude. What Jordan James wanted he got; what he didn’t like he discarded. Katherine wondered slightly hysterically which category she fell into.

‘You know perfectly well what’s wrong!’ she retorted sharply, stung by the thought.

‘Even if I weren’t too damned tired to play guessing games, this is neither the time nor the place for them.’ He glanced over her shoulder, his eyes narrowing as he watched the crowd moving about. ‘We’ll be wanted in a moment, so if there’s something you want to say then let’s hear it, Katherine. I don’t want you creating scenes all day long because you’re spoiling for a fight.’

His words took her breath away, and it took a few moments before she could speak. When she did her tone was like cut glass, each word sharp and clear, so that there would be no danger of him misunderstanding. ‘I’m not spoiling for a fight, Jordan. I’m not interested enough to argue over something as trivial as your sorry lack of manners!’

‘Indeed?’ He gave a soft laugh as he leant back against the trunk of a spreading oak tree. Sunlight filtered through its leaves, dappling his face with shadows, making it suddenly hard for Katherine to see his expression clearly. ‘So it’s my lack of manners which is bothering you, is it? I’m afraid you’re going to have to explain that, as I have no idea what you mean.’

She drew herself up, feeling suddenly uneasy. What was it about the way Jordan was acting which made her feel as though boundaries which had been set a long time ago had been crossed? She tried to shake off the feeling but it stayed at the back of her mind, unsettling and disturbing.

‘It’s quite simple. I had no idea that you would be here today. I thought that you were still involved in negotiations for the new contract with the Japanese. Quite apart from the fact that Charles never mentioned you were coming home, I spoke to your secretary only a couple of days ago and that’s what she told me.’

‘And she was right. I had no idea I would be able to get back in time for the wedding until yesterday, and even then it was touch and go in case something went wrong. The Japanese struck a hard bargain, but in the end we managed to come to an agreement which suits us both.’

Katherine didn’t doubt that. Nor did she doubt that the contract Jordan had secured would be a lucrative one. His business acumen was legendary, his hard-headed approach earning respect and fear from allies and competitors alike.

J.J. Engineering had won contracts for an impressive list of civil-engineering projects worldwide in the past few years. The Japanese contract would be yet another guarantee that the firm would earn more kudos. It wasn’t what interested Katherine, however.

‘I see. However, hearing that you were still tied up, I naturally assumed that you would be unable to attend the wedding. I informed Mr and Mrs Hartley accordingly and offered your apologies. Turning up like this without warning is inconsiderate in the extreme, Jordan.’

‘Oh, dear, is that what’s bothering you? The table plan? Now I understand. You must forgive me, Katherine, but I hadn’t given any thought to that. How could I have been so lacking in the social graces? It’s a good job I have you around to put me straight whenever necessary, isn’t it?’

Katherine’s face flamed at his sarcasm. She swung round, refusing to remain there and allow him to mock her. However, before she had managed to take even a step, Jordan caught hold of her wrist and stopped her.

He swung her back to face him, his eyes devoid of any trace of amusement as he stared into her angry face. ‘Don’t lie, Katherine. If nothing else, at least do me the courtesy of telling me the truth. You don’t give a damn about upsetting Mr and Mrs Hartley’s arrangements, do you? It’s the fact that I turned up here without warning you beforehand that’s eating you, isn’t it?’

He slid his hand beneath her chin, forcing her face up to meet his contemptuous stare. ‘What’s the matter, my sweet? Afraid that I might want to take a few more liberties now that I’ve overstepped the mark this far? Worried that I might be growing tired of this marriage of ours and thinking about changing the rules? And who could blame me?’

He stared at her for one long moment more before abruptly letting her go. ‘I believe we’re wanted. I suggest we leave this discussion until later. I’m sure neither of us wants to spoil your brother’s big day.’

He walked away, not bothering to look back to see if she was following as he joined the other guests. Katherine watched him pass some comment, heard the laughter which ran around the group. Jordan had charm by the bucketful when he chose to use it, but it left her cold...

She ran a hand over her hair to smooth the silky waves back from her face. She could feel her hand trembling but wouldn’t allow herself to think of the reason why—apart from the fact that she loathed any kind of a scene. She smoothed her jacket down too, the lace rippling beneath her fingers. She had chosen the outfit because it was her favourite colour—pale cream, cool and elegant.

She always dressed in understated colours—cream and beige, navy and black. Her hand hesitated on the expensive cloth as she suddenly wondered why.

Did she wear them as some sort of disguise, so that she could hide from the world? Wasn’t it her biggest fear that one day someone would guess that behind the cool façade another woman existed? No one had ever suspected it apart from her. It had lain hidden, dormant, until that night when Jordan had shown her exactly what she was. The shame was something she would have to live with all her life. The only way of coping with it was never to allow it to happen again.

Katherine took a slow breath and then made her way over to the group. She stood beside Jordan as the photographs were taken, and played her part, smiling for the camera, looking pleased that she was there to witness her brother’s wedding. She didn’t allow herself to think about her own wedding just one year earlier, let alone remember what had happened on her wedding night...

CHAPTER TWO

‘IF YOU’LL excuse me, I’ll just go and phone my father to let him know how everything went. Unfortunately, he hasn’t been well recently and the journey here would have been too much for him today.’

‘Give Adam my regards, Katherine, and tell him I’ll speak to him soon. But hurry back, darling. It’s been far too long since we had any real time together!’

Katherine saw the indulgent glances everyone exchanged and she avoided looking at Jordan as she made her way from the huge marquee which had been set up in the grounds of the Hartleys’ house, and took the path leading down the garden. Telephoning her father had been just an excuse to get away.

She followed the path until it reached the fence which marked the boundary of the property. Resting her arms along the rough wooden bars, she stared towards the distant hills while she tried to get a grip on herself, but it wasn’t easy.

The day had been a nightmare; the effort involved in playing her part had left her drained. Jordan had kept her at his side all afternoon while they had chatted to the other guests. He had been as urbane as ever, yet whenever she had glanced at him he had been watching her with an expression in his eyes which made her feel shaky even now, when she remembered it.

What did Jordan want with her? It was a question she had asked herself a dozen times yet she still didn’t know the answer. She just kept remembering what he had said in the churchyard earlier, about sticking to his side of their bargain.

Had it been said in anger to scare her? Or had there been a deeper intent behind those harshly spoken words? She had no idea, but the uncertainty made her feel sick with fear. She could cope with this marriage but only so long as Jordan didn’t try to make any changes!

A twig suddenly snapped and Katherine swung round, her heart turning over at the thought that Jordan might have followed her. She needed a few minutes by herself to get her emotions under control, although she wasn’t sure that it would be possible even then.

The way Jordan had been acting today seemed to have unleashed a whole torrent of fears so that she felt raw and exposed, as though a defensive layer had been peeled away to leave her more vulnerable than she had felt since the night of their wedding. When Peter suddenly appeared out of the trees, she gave a little gasp of relief.

‘Oh, it’s you!’

Peter paused when he saw her, then slowly walked over to join her. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. What are you doing here, anyway?’

‘I...I just felt like a breath of air,’ she hedged. ‘It’s very hot in the marquee, but everyone seems to be having a wonderful time.’

‘Yes. Diane’s parents have spared no expense in giving her a day to remember. Although perhaps she’ll prefer not to have any reminders of what a mistake she’s made!’

‘What on earth do you mean?’ Katherine felt her heart lurch as she heard the anguished note in her brother’s voice.

‘Nothing. Forget it.’ Peter turned to stare towards the hills, but not before she caught the glimmer of tears in his eyes.

She touched his arm in concern. ‘Obviously something is wrong, Peter. I had a feeling about it earlier, to tell the truth.’ She glanced round and frowned. ‘Where is Diane? Surely you two haven’t quarrelled, have you?’

Peter shook his head. ‘No, of course not. Diane’s in the house getting changed. We’ll be leaving shortly to catch our plane.’ He gave a harsh laugh. ‘The way I feel, I wish we were never coming back!’

‘Peter!’ Katherine stared at him in horror, more concerned than ever as she saw the strain etched into his thin face. ‘Please tell me what’s wrong and if there is anything I can do to help.’

‘There’s nothing you can do, Kitty.’ He gave another of those bitter laughs which were so out of character. ‘There’s nothing anyone can do!’

‘I don’t believe that.’ Katherine took a quick little breath to control the growing feeling of panic. ‘There is always a solution to every problem. It’s just finding it that is difficult sometimes. Tell me what’s wrong, Peter, then maybe we can work something out together.’

‘Like we did when we were kids? After Mother left, it was always you I ran to to solve my problems, wasn’t it? But somehow I don’t think you can help me this time—not unless you happen to have a spare fifty thousand pounds lying around.’

‘Fifty thousand pounds?’ Katherine repeated numbly. ‘Why on earth do you need so much money? It’s a fortune!’

‘Don’t I know it? And I have as much chance of getting my hands on that kind of cash as I have of flying to the moon.’ He ran his hand over his eyes. ‘It will mean the end of Diane and me once she finds out, of course. She’ll never forgive me and neither will her parents. And I love her so much, Kitty! I really do. If only there was a way—’

He stopped abruptly, and when he turned Katherine could see a glitter in his eyes which alarmed her even more.

‘Peter, what is it...?’

His hands clamped on her shoulders so that she winced. ‘Jordan! I should have thought of him before. Will you ask him, Kitty? Ask him to lend me the money? I swear I’ll pay him back somehow.’

Katherine shook her head, stunned by the request. ‘No... I couldn’t possibly. I mean, I don’t even know what you need it for!’

‘Because I’m a bloody fool, that’s why! I let a couple of the fellows I work with talk me into going to this gaming club with them. It was all just a bit of fun at first. I even won a couple of times. Diane was furious when I let slip what I’d been doing. She made me promise never to go again.’

‘But you did go?’ Katherine guessed. ‘And this time you lost? Oh, Peter, how could you be so stupid?’

‘I know. I know! I just kept telling myself that the next time I would win, but it never happened. Now the people I owe the money to are threatening to go to Diane’s parents. They’ve given me two weeks to come up with the cash. Two bloody weeks!’ Peter gripped Katherine even harder. ‘Jordan’s my only hope! Please, please, say that you’ll ask him, Kitty!’

‘I don’t know... I don’t know what to say...’ Katherine felt a lump in her throat as she saw despair settle over Peter’s face as he let her go.

‘I understand. I should never have asked you to do it. I...I’d better get back and see...’

She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t bear to see him looking so dejected. ‘All right, then, I’ll ask Jordan.’

‘You will?’ Peter gave a whoop of joy as he swung her off her feet. ‘Oh, you don’t know what a weight that is off my mind!’

‘He hasn’t agreed yet,’ Katherine warned him.

‘But he will if you ask him!’ Peter gave her a quick hug. ‘I’d better get back to Diane before she thinks I’ve run out on her. You will ask him as soon as you can, though, Kitty, won’t you? I don’t want those people running to Diane’s parents and causing a fuss while we’re away.’

Katherine opened her mouth to repeat her warning that she wasn’t sure if Jordan would agree, only Peter was already hurrying away. She shivered as she turned to stare towards the shadowy hills again. The thought of asking Jordan for all that money scared her, but what else could—?

‘Well, what are you waiting for, Katherine? They always say there’s no time like the present, so why don’t you get it over with right now and ask me if I’m willing to lend you fifty thousand pounds for Peter. Or are you waiting to catch me at the right moment?’

Jordan gave a soft laugh which made her skin prickle as she turned and saw him standing in the shadow of the trees. ‘Mmm, I’m almost tempted to find out exactly when that is.’

Katherine took a deep breath and tried to close her mind to the nuances she’d heard in his voice, but she could feel ripples of awareness spreading through her, as though he had touched one nerve and all the others were responding.

‘I...I didn’t know you were there,’ she said huskily.

‘No? Never mind; don’t let that deter you.’ He gave another of those disturbing laughs as he came and leant against the fence beside her. He was so close now that she could smell the musky aroma of the aftershave he wore, and she could feel the heat of his body flowing through the thin fabric of her jacket. Suddenly it was as though all her senses were heightened to an almost unbearable degree, so that when his shoulder brushed hers she jumped, and saw the amused look he gave her.

‘Nervous, Katherine? I don’t see why you should be. After all it isn’t the first time you’ve found yourself thrust in at the deep end to help a member of your family out of a sticky situation, is it?’

Katherine’s face flamed as she understood what he meant immediately. It had been the need to help her father out of even worse financial straits that had brought her and Jordan together—although if she’d had any idea of the repercussions she would never have gone through with it!

She turned to glare at him, her grey eyes stormy as they met his mocking blue ones. ‘No, it isn’t new to me, Jordan. However, that doesn’t mean I find it any easier second time around.’ She gave a harsh laugh. ‘In fact, bearing in mind what happened the last time I asked you for help, I must have been mad to let Peter talk me into asking you again!’

Jordan’s lids flickered but his smile never wavered. ‘You got what you wanted, Katherine. Your father has been able to live comfortably ever since. Are you really trying to claim that you would have preferred to see him being dragged through the courts and ending up with nothing more than his name at the end of it?

‘No! Of course I wouldn’t have wanted that to happen. You know very well what I mean, Jordan!’

‘Of course I do. How could I be in any doubt, Katherine?’ His brows rose, his eyes glittering as they centred on her angry face. ‘You have always been totally honest about your feelings towards me, haven’t you?’

Katherine looked away, wondering what there was in the depths of his eyes which made her feel as though she was standing on the edge of some vast precipice, and that one unwary step would send her plunging into its unknown depths. ‘I... don’t think either of us is under any illusion about how we feel. However, that has little bearing on this present situation.’

‘Hasn’t it?’ Jordan’s tone was openly sceptical, the mockery she heard in it making her heart beat even faster.

‘No.’ Katherine’s hands clenched as she turned and stared into the distance while she fought to keep all trace of emotion from her voice. ‘Will you lend Peter the money he needs? That’s all I want to know.’

‘I’m sure it is, but has it never occurred to you that every time you bail Peter out it just makes matters worse? He is old enough to stand on his own two feet, but he’ll never do that while you keep fighting his battles for him.’

Jordan’s tone was scornful, and Katherine reacted immediately to it despite her determination to remain detached. ‘That’s not fair! How on earth can Peter get himself out of this mess?’

‘Not as easily as he apparently got himself into it, Kitty.’

Jordan mocked her with the childhood name, yet it was a measure of how upset her brother had been that he should have used it tonight. The thought made her even angrier. Jordan considered himself so infallible that he couldn’t understand how anyone else could make a mistake!

‘Unfortunately, not everyone is as perfect as you, Jordan! But surely even you could see how upset Peter was? Is it too much to ask that you try to be a little more sympathetic?’

He smiled contemptuously. ‘I imagine that Peter is far more interested in the support I can give him financially rather than emotionally. I shall leave that side of it to you.’ He sighed, sounding suddenly weary. ‘However, this is hardly the place to discuss Peter’s failings. I came to tell you that it’s almost time for him and Diane to leave; so shall we get back to the party? We can sort this out later.’

‘No. We need to sort it out now. I want to be able to tell Peter if you’re going to help him or not. Jordan, wait!’

Katherine felt her temper rise to dizzying heights as Jordan started to walk away. She caught hold of his arm to stop him, determined that he was going to give her an answer. It was only when she felt him go utterly still that she realised what she had done.

She never touched him—not willingly, at least. In the whole year of their marriage not once had she reached out and placed her hand on his arm as she had done just now. Now the shock of the contact spread through her so that her fingers and arm tingled.

There was a moment’s tense silence before Katherine abruptly let him go. She drew a ragged breath of air into her deprived lungs while she avoided looking at him. But she sensed that Jordan was watching her. It disturbed her to wonder what she would see in those deep blue eyes if she looked...

‘It’s still there, isn’t it, Katherine?’ His voice was so low that it barely disturbed the silence of the night, yet she still jumped. Her eyes flew to his face, and what she saw there filled her with fear. Jordan was looking at her with an assurance and a certainty which allowed no room for doubts as he continued in that same soft tone.

‘Despite how much you hate yourself for it, you still feel that same desire for me that you felt on our wedding night.’

‘No!’ Katherine felt the blood drain from her head so fast that she thought she was going to faint. ‘You’re wrong... wrong! I don’t feel anything for you, Jordan. Do you hear me? Nothing at all except... except contempt!’

She tried to push past him, her whole body trembling with the shock of what he had just said. Jordan caught her wrist, his fingers cool and hard as they closed around her flesh to hold her still.

‘Don’t lie, Katherine! We both know what the truth is. Do you think I’m stupid? Do you imagine that I don’t know how you felt on our wedding night?’

‘Yes. You must be stupid, or incredibly arrogant!’ She gave a sharp laugh, then bit her lip as she realised she was verging on hysteria. She forced herself to meet his eyes, wanting desperately to convince him that he was wrong. ‘I know it comes as a shock to you, Jordan, but not every woman falls under your spell. If you want the truth, I hated what happened that night.’

His hands tightened; the violence she sensed in him made her wonder if she had pushed him too far. Then suddenly he gave a deep laugh, mocking, taunting, knowing... so very knowing, which was so much worse.

‘Mmm, is that a fact? You’re sickened by the idea of me making love to you? All you felt that night was revulsion ? Is that what you’re saying, Katherine?’

‘Yes! What does it take to convince you? Is your ego so huge that you can’t accept that I’m telling the truth? I hated you touching me, Jordan. I hated the thought of you anywhere near me!’

‘Like you’re hating me touching you now? Is that why your heart is racing, Katherine?’ He pressed his finger to the pulse which was throbbing at the base of her neck, and let it rest there, so that Katherine could feel its warmth branding her flesh. She jerked back, struggling to free herself, but Jordan was too strong for her to break the hold he had on her.

‘Let me go, Jordan.’

She saw his smile deepen. When he let his finger slide up her neck to come to rest by the corner of her mouth she closed her eyes, terrified of what he might see in them right now—all the turmoil and anguish she felt, all the shame that even now his touch could have such an effect on her.

‘It wasn’t loathing you felt that night, Katherine. Oh, you might have fought me like a she-cat, but it wasn’t because you were disgusted by what was happening—far from it.’ He slid that tantalising finger beneath her chin, forcing her head up. ‘You wanted me, Katherine. You wanted me with a passion that you had never expected, didn’t you? After all, you hadn’t married me because you were in love with me, so how could you have suspected that you would feel like that?’

His voice was like a drug, soft and deep, and so compelling that her eyes opened almost of their own volition. Katherine stared into his face, seeing the truth of what had happened that night—which she had tried so hard to escape from.

‘No. Jordan, I...’

He didn’t seem to hear her as he continued, in that same quiet tone which made a mockery of her halting attempts to deny what he was saying. ‘Maybe I was wrong to do what I did, but it wasn’t planned. It just happened, and for those first few minutes when I took you in my arms you responded to me. You can lie to yourself but we both know I’m right.

‘But tell me this, my sweet, who do you hate most? Me for showing you what you’re capable of feeling? Or yourself because for those few minutes you acted like a real woman, not a scared little girl!’

He let her go, his gaze contemptuous as he strode back up the path.

Katherine watched him go with tears burning in her eyes. She wanted to scream after him that it wasn’t true, but he wouldn’t believe her. Why should he? Both of them knew what had happened that night. One year later she was still paying the price for it.

No matter how hard she tried she could never forget how she had lain in Jordan’s arms and felt for him a passion she never wanted to feel again!

CHAPTER THREE

IT WAS almost three a.m. when Katherine heard the sound of a key in the lock. She hadn’t gone to bed. There had been no point—she had known she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Jordan had left the reception shortly after Peter and Diane had left for their honeymoon. Katherine wasn’t sure where he had gone but she suspected that it might have something to do with Peter.

She had stayed up, waiting for him to return, longing for him to get back but also dreading it. Of course she wanted to know that Peter had nothing more to worry about, but it was the price Jordan might demand in return for his help which worried her. She knew to her cost the kind of bargain Jordan struck!

He was in the hall taking off his jacket when she opened the sitting-room door. He glanced round, and Katherine realised how exhausted he looked. There were deep lines etched either side of his mouth and his skin looked grey beneath its tan.

‘I thought you would be in bed by now.’ He tossed his jacket onto a hook then leant against the wall as though he was almost too tired to stand up. ‘Should I be touched that you waited up for me?’

The fleeting concern Katherine had felt disappeared at once. She stared coldly back at him, hating the way he kept taunting her like that. It was something he had never done before; it made her wonder a little fearfully what had changed to make him do so now. ‘I assumed that your absence had something to do with Peter’s problems. I wanted to know what had gone on and if you had decided to help him.’

‘Of course.’ Jordan gave a soft laugh which held just a thread of menace. His eyes were cold as he came along the hall, the tiredness in them not quite hiding his contempt. ‘I should have realised that any concern you felt was purely on behalf of your beloved brother. Silly of me to imagine anything else, wasn’t it? I must be more tired than I realised.’

Katherine swung round, refusing to stand there and debate the point when her nerves were already so on edge. ‘I’ll make some coffee. You look as though you could do with some.’

‘Mmm, there’s a lot of things I could do with, my sweet wife, but I doubt I’m going to get them tonight.’

There was a nuance in his voice which brought the colour to her face. Katherine busied herself filling the percolator until she was sure that the colour had faded. Yet, when she glanced round, Jordan was watching her with an expression in his eyes which made her realise he had seen her reaction. The thought unsettled her even more, so that her hands shook and the coffee scattered all over the worktop.

‘Leave it. Instant will do. I’m too tired to wait around for that to be ready, anyway.’

He sat down at the table and closed his eyes as he ran his hand around the back of his neck to ease the aching muscles. Katherine watched him for a second, then hurriedly switched on the kettle and made two mugs of instant coffee. She set them on the table and sat down opposite him.

‘God, what a day!’ Jordan sighed as he opened his eyes and took a sip of the hot liquid. ‘I don’t remember ever being this tired before. Must be jet lag, I suppose.’ He looked up and smiled sardonically. ‘But I don’t expect you’re interested in hearing about my problems, are you, Katherine? I imagine you’re waiting to hear if Peter is off the hook.’

Katherine ignored his sarcasm. ‘And is he?’

Jordan laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound. ‘That’s what I admire about you. You go straight to the important things in your life, and there is nothing quite so important as your brother—oh, and your father, of course. We mustn’t forget him, must we? Not when he was instrumental in bringing us together in the first place. Don’t you feel just the tiniest bit aggrieved with your father for that? Or do you prefer to blame me for this predicament you find yourself in? Married to a man you loathe.’

‘I have no intention of sitting here listening to this!’ Katherine went to get up, shaken by what he had said. It just confirmed all her fears that something had changed. They’d had a tacit agreement not to mention the past, but today Jordan seemed to be taking every opportunity to rake it up. However, with a speed which shocked her, he reached over and caught her hand.

‘Don’t run away. I am merely stating a fact, not trying to start an argument again if that’s what you’re worried about. The only reason you married me, Katherine, was because I had it in my power to save your father from bankruptcy. Neither of us is under any illusion about that.’

He gave her a brooding little smile as his fingers slid up her arm beneath the sleeve of her jacket. They felt cool against her skin and she shivered involuntarily, but Jordan didn’t appear to notice. She was grateful for that, because she felt vulnerable enough without him making anything out of the fact that she trembled when he touched her!

‘I wonder if it would have turned out better if I had been more like the men in your circle, the men who play by the rules you understand—like Charles, for instance. You and Charles seem to get on very well, but then you have so much in common, don’t you?’

‘I cannot see any point in this conversation. How well Charles and I get on has no bearing on this at all!’ she retorted, stung by the way she was reacting to Jordan’s touch.

‘Hasn’t it?’ Something crossed his face, an expression which made Katherine’s breath catch when she saw it. She must be mistaken, she thought wildly, because there was no reason for the sudden rage she could see in his eyes.

‘You’ve been seeing a lot of Charles recently, haven’t you, Katherine? The ballet the other day, probably the opera or an art exhibition as well. Unfortunately, I know very little about such things. But then you and Charles come from very similar backgrounds—a world away from how I was brought up, believe me.’

‘I...I really do not see where this is leading, Jordan. My friendship with Charles is neither here nor there!’

She tried to draw her hand away, but Jordan’s fingers tightened and he gave a harsh laugh. ‘So that’s what you and Charles are—friends? I see.’

‘What do you mean? What do you see? Exactly what are you implying, Jordan?’ Katherine felt her heart leap as she heard the scorn in his voice.

‘Why should I be implying anything?’ His eyes were suddenly hooded as they rested on her angry face. ‘I was merely trying to determine if our marriage could have been a success if I were like the other men you know, but I don’t suppose it would have made a scrap of difference.

‘The last thing you wanted from me or any man was a real relationship, wasn’t it? You were simply willing to trade yourself in exchange for what I could do for your father. Now we shall have to see what you are prepared to do to help your brother.’

‘I imagine it depends on what you ask in return for helping Peter, doesn’t it?’ She gave a bitter laugh, anger washing through her in red-hot waves to chase away the nervousness she felt. How dared Jordan speak to her like that?

‘If we are establishing facts then let’s get them straight. If I was prepared to trade then so were you! Or are you trying to claim that you fell in love with me, and that’s why you wanted to marry me? I don’t think so!’

She dragged her hand free, barely noticing the way his eyes flickered behind his heavy lids. She had no idea why he was acting like this, but if he imagined she was going to sit there and take whatever he cared to dole out then he was mistaken!

‘You wanted a suitable wife who knew how to entertain your clients and I wanted to help my father. Those are the facts. They have nothing to do with Charles or anyone else. It was just that you, with your usual arrogance, decided to change the rules! Our marriage could have been perfectly amicable if you hadn’t taken it upon yourself to show me things you thought I should know!’

She pushed back the chair so that its legs scraped against the tiles. The noise was harsh and discordant. Katherine’s nerves strained at it. She felt incredibly angry. How Jordan felt she had no idea. He was just sitting there staring down at the mug of coffee, his head bowed almost in defeat...

That thought fled from her mind as fast as it had appeared. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing hysterically. ‘Defeat’ wasn’t a word Jordan understood!

‘So, are you going to tell me where you went tonight and what happened, or not?’

There was a moment when she thought he wasn’t going to answer, and then he looked up. There was no anger on his face, nothing to show how much he resented the things she had said, but that didn’t fool her. Jordan must be furious about the way she had spoken to him. Her heart lurched as she wondered if it had been wise in the circumstances.

‘Why not? After all, you more than anyone are entitled to know what your brother has been up to, Katherine.’

There was something in his voice, an undercurrent, which made her skin prickle with apprehension. Katherine drew a ragged breath as she recalled what he had said about how far she would be prepared to go to help Peter...

‘Then you had better tell me exactly what you found out, hadn’t you?’ She forced down the fear and struggled to appear composed, but it wasn’t easy. Jordan had more reason than ever to extract a high price for his help!

He smiled narrowly as he picked up his cup. ‘It appears that your brother doesn’t owe fifty thousand pounds after all.’

Katherine blinked in confusion. ‘But why did he say that he did? I don’t understand.’

Jordan slammed the cup down so hard that she jumped. ‘It’s simple. Peter owes closer to one hundred thousand. The fifty grand he needs so urgently is just the start. It just so happens that the owners of one particular club have decided to call in his debt, and I’m sure the rest of his creditors won’t be far behind them once word gets out. From what I was able to discover, Peter owes various sums to at least half a dozen clubs around London.’

‘No!’ Katherine gripped the table as the room swam out of focus. ‘Are... are you sure? It could be some sort of a silly mix-up—even... even a deliberate attempt to extort money. I mean, who’s to say if those people didn’t just tell you that in the hope that you would settle the debt for Peter?’

‘I don’t think so. They wouldn’t be that foolish!’ Jordan’s laughter was harsh, brutal even. In the bright overhead light his face looked tough and uncompromising, with a cold cynicism glittering in his eyes which made her shiver as she saw it.

She knew his reputation, of course. Jordan was a tough negotiator and few who crossed him survived to tell the tale. There had been many articles in the papers about the way he had fought his way to the top with a ruthless determination. He never compromised, never accepted second best, never allowed anything to deter him from his goals. If anyone could help Peter out of this situation then it was Jordan, but what he would expect in return remained to be seen!

She took a quick little breath to control the rush of fear as Jordan continued in the same uncompromising tone. ‘It appears that an attempt was made to contact me once it was realised how deeply in debt your brother was getting. Unfortunately I was out of the country at the time, so the message never reached me.’

Katherine frowned in bewilderment. ‘I don’t understand. Why should these people have contacted you?’

‘Because your brother gave my name as a reference when he asked to extend his credit. Somehow it was allowed to slip through without a proper check being done, and once one club had agreed to the new credit limits the others followed suit. Alarm bells only started ringing when people realised that he was in way over his head, but by then it was too late.

‘Unless Peter finds a way to repay the money he’ll be ruined. There is no way that he’ll be kept on at the Stock Exchange once word gets out, and believe me it won’t take long before that happens.’

‘No!’ Katherine stared at Jordan in despair. ‘Is... is there anything we can do?’

‘That depends.’ Jordan looked down at the mug. When he looked up again, Katherine could see something in his eyes which made her heart beat so fast that she could feel the blood swirling through her veins.

‘On what?’ Her voice was whispery-thin in the silence. She licked her parched lips and made herself repeat the question she didn’t want to ask. ‘What does it depend on, Jordan? What are you saying?’

‘That it is up to you what happens, Katherine. Peter’s future depends on what you decide to do.’

‘I don’t understand...’

‘It’s simple.’ Jordan leant back in the chair as he watched her through narrowed eyes. ‘I am willing to pay everything Peter owes and write off the money so that he doesn’t need to repay me a penny of it. However, there are certain conditions attached to my offer... naturally.’

He made it sound like some sort of business proposition. Katherine wished she could believe it was that simple! Her mind ran wild trying to understand, but she had no idea what he was proposing—that was the trouble. ‘And those conditions are...?’

‘That Peter gets the help he needs to stop gambling. I also expect him to give me a written undertaking, enforceable in a court of law, that he will never use my name again without my permission.’

‘That seems fair.’ Katherine managed a shaky smile. As far as she was concerned Jordan was being more than charitable in the circumstances.

‘That isn’t all, Katherine. There is one other condition attached to my offer. One which concerns you. I want you to think very carefully before you decide, because once you do there will be no going back on your decision. You have to be sure that you can carry it through if you agree to my terms.’

Katherine’s fingers were numb because she was gripping the table so hard. As though from a distance she heard her own voice, thin and shallow, asking the question, ‘And that condition is?’

‘That we end this sham of a marriage.’

The blood rushed through every bit of her so fast that her fingers tingled and her body throbbed. It was relief, she told herself, the sheer relief of hearing those words that was causing this reaction. To imagine that there was the slightest trace of disappointment at it was ridiculous.

‘Of course. I shall give you a divorce any time you—’

Jordan’s laughter was so harsh that she flinched. ‘Oh, no, Katherine, that isn’t what I want! I’m sorry, I must have phrased it badly. Put it down to tiredness or whatever.’

He gave her a slow smile, his blue eyes playing over her white face. ‘In fact, what I want is just the opposite of what you imagined. I want to end the sham of the way we live by making our marriage a real one in every sense. I want us to live together properly as man and wife, to share a roof and a bed. And what I want most of all, Katherine, is a child.’

‘A child?’ She could hear the shock echoing in her voice, feel it rippling through her in waves. She stared at Jordan in disbelief, wondering wildly if she had misheard him. ‘You... you want us to have a child?’

‘Yes.’

‘I...I don’t know what to say. I never imagined...’ Katherine swallowed hard but her voice was still strained. ‘Why do you want a child, Jordan?’

He gave a wry laugh. ‘For all the usual reasons, I imagine! I’m no different from any other man in wanting a child to carry on my name and inherit all I have worked so hard to achieve.’

‘But why now, so suddenly, out of the blue like this...?’ She tailed off, unable to continue, unable to absorb what he was telling her and to make sense of it.

‘But it isn’t out of the blue. I’ve been thinking about this for some time.’ He met her eyes levelly. ‘I’m not getting any younger and I would like to have a child before I’m too old to do all the things a father should do with his son or daughter. But what about you, Katherine? Surely you want to have children while you’re still young enough to enjoy them?’

‘I... I never thought about it,’ she whispered hollowly.

‘Because you’re married to me?’

‘What do you mean?’ She stared at him in confusion as she heard the sudden bitterness in his voice.

‘Simply that you had put off thinking about having a family because of the implications.’ He shrugged, but his gaze was dark and intent. ‘It would entail sleeping with me, wouldn’t it, Katherine? And we both know how you feel about that!’

Her face flamed with angry colour and she stared back at him with stormy grey eyes. ‘Yes, we both know how I feel about that, Jordan. At least there’s no confusion on that score. It’s a pity that you aren’t as clear in your own mind about what you want and why.’

His brows rose, but he seemed more amused by her outburst than anything else. ‘Meaning what, precisely?’

‘That a child isn’t something you can bargain with like...like a clause in a contract! A child should be loved and wanted for the right reasons, not because it’s something you need to perpetuate your name!’

‘Oh, I agree, Katherine. I am in complete accord with you on that. It seems that you do have some views on children after all—even though you may not have thought about having a family yourself. Maybe you should do so now.’

He got up from the table. ‘In fact, that is what I want you to do—to think about what I have said very carefully before you tell me what your answer is. I’m afraid I shall have to stay here for the night as it’s too late to go to my club. We can talk about it again in the morning.’

He turned to leave, but Katherine couldn’t let him go like that. ‘You can’t really expect me to agree to such a proposal? It’s insane!’

He glanced back, his eyes shadowed by his lowered lids. She felt a frisson run down her spine as though he had physically touched her. ‘It isn’t insane at all. We’re married, Katherine. We can either accept that and try to make the best of it or we can carry on the way we are. Are you really happy with your life as it is at present?’

‘But why do you imagine that a child would make it better? It wouldn’t alter the reason we married, Jordan. It wouldn’t change that! Nothing can.’

She gave a shrill laugh. She could hardly believe they were having this conversation. A child! She couldn’t begin to think of what it would mean, how it would change her life. It would be the ultimate tie, of course, because she could never leave Jordan if they had a child...

Unlike her mother, a voice inside her whispered. Her mother had found it easy to leave her children because she’d had other needs. What if she was like that? What if she turned out to be like her mother in that respect as well...?

Katherine’s hands clenched as she tried desperately to hold onto her control, but it seemed to be slipping further and further away with each second that passed. ‘It’s out of the question,’ she said hoarsely. ‘There is no way that I shall agree!’

‘I don’t want you to give me your answer right away.’ He held his hand up when she started to speak. ‘No. This is too important an issue to make some hasty decision about. You need to think about it first.’

‘There is nothing to think about!’

‘Maybe you feel like that now because it’s been a shock.’ He shrugged, with an oddly tender smile playing about his mouth which startled her. ‘But once you think it through you may change your mind. You have a lot of love to give, Katherine. I know that from seeing how you behave towards your father and brother. A child would benefit from all that you have to give it, because you would make a wonderful mother.’

He left the room, and after a few moments Katherine heard the door to the spare bedroom closing. She sank down onto a chair, trembling in the aftermath of what Jordan had said.

A real marriage.

A marriage where she and Jordan would live together day by day, sleep together in the same bed, share all the intimacies of man and wife.

And a child. Jordan’s child...

She bit her lip as fear rushed through her in a great wave. The problem was that Jordan had no idea what he was really asking of her, but then how could he have? It was something she had never discussed with anyone; she was too ashamed to admit her secret fears.

How many times as she’d been growing up had she heard the comment passed about how like her mother she was? It had been meant as a compliment, because Caroline Carstairs had been a beautiful woman.

After Caroline had left, however, the comments had stopped abruptly. No one had wanted to point out the resemblance then, but the damage had been done. Katherine had been tormented by the thought that she might be like her mother in other ways, and all it had needed were those few minutes in Jordan’s arms to confirm her worst fears.

How could she allow that to happen again when the memory filled her with such shame?

She closed her eyes as the wave of fear engulfed her and she was drawn down into its dark depths. Yet how could she refuse and watch her brother’s life being ruined?

CHAPTER FOUR

SUNLIGHT poured through the window and touched Katherine’s face. She stirred. It took her a few seconds to realise that she was lying on her bed fully clothed, a few more before she remembered why...

She struggled to her feet, shocked to see that it was midday. She couldn’t believe that she had slept so late, even though it had been dawn before she’d crept into bed, exhausted by the effort of going over and over everything that had happened...

She felt a wave of panic wash over her as all the fears of the previous night compounded, but she made herself take a deep breath. She and Jordan had been too keyedup last night to talk rationally, but surely today would be different? If she could convince him that his demands went way beyond what was reasonable then maybe they could come to some amicable arrangement. After all, it wasn’t inconceivable that Peter might be able to repay the money Jordan lent him, if he was given enough time.

Katherine clung to that thought as she went to find him, but there was no sign of Jordan in either the sitting-room or kitchen. She glanced along the hall, wondering if he had gone out without waking her, then frowned as she saw that the guest-room door was firmly closed. Had Jordan overslept as well?

He was lying sprawled face-down on the bed when she eased the door open to peer into the room. He was still wearing his shirt and trousers although he had kicked off his shoes. He must have been exhausted to have slept so long, Katherine thought. But then he’d had that flight to contend with as well as everything else.

She was just debating whether she should wake him when he rolled over onto his back and started muttering a little. Even from where she stood, Katherine could see the hectic flush on his cheekbones, the beads of perspiration glistening on his brow. She frowned in sudden concern, wondering what was wrong with him.

The heat was what she noticed first as she hurried to the bed and bent down to look at him. It radiated from him as though his whole body were burning up. Tentatively she laid her hand on his forehead, and was shocked to feel just how hot he was. She was just trying to decide what she should do when his eyes suddenly opened to stare straight into hers.

‘Katherine...’

His voice was husky as he said her name in a way he had never said it before. Katherine felt the tiny hairs all over her body stand up as though he had actually touched her. She jerked her hand away and saw the shutters come down over his eyes as he suddenly returned to full consciousness.

He eased himself up on his elbow, then groaned. ‘God, my head hurts! What the hell’s the matter with me? I can’t remember having much to drink yesterday.’

‘You didn’t. From the look of you you’re running a temperature, I’d guess. Do you want me to call the doctor?’ She forced herself to speak calmly but she could hear the tightness in her voice. It was the way that Jordan had said her name just now, his voice throbbing with something, which sent ripples of sensation running through her as she remembered it.

He shook his head, then groaned again since that had obviously made it ache even more. ‘There’s no need. A couple of aspirin and I’ll be right as rain.’ He looked up and smiled tauntingly. ‘Sorry, Katherine, but I doubt that I’m going to make you a rich widow yet awhile, if that’s what you’re hoping for.’

She drew back, deeply affronted by his mockery. ‘I’ll get you those aspirin. I won’t be a minute.’

‘There’s no rush. I think I’ll just have a shower first. It will make me feel better, I hope!’

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and struggled to his feet. Katherine debated the wisdom of what he was doing before she decided it wasn’t any of her business. She hurried back to her own room to shower, then dressed quickly in jeans and a black T-shirt before going to the kitchen.

She filled a glass with water, then took the aspirin out of the cupboard and loosened the childproof cap. Of course she would have to make sure that any medicines were kept well out of reach if there was to be a child running about...

The thought slid into her mind so fast that she had no warning before it was there. She closed her eyes as she strove to shut it out, but it simply grew stronger, took on shape and substance. Suddenly she could picture a small boy with Jordan’s black hair and blue eyes laughing up at her...

Her hand shook as she picked up the glass and chased away the moment of foolishness. There would be no child! She would find some way to convince Jordan that the idea was crazy just as soon as he was in a fit state to listen to her.

Jordan was still in the shower when Katherine went back to his room. She set the glass and bottle of aspirin down on the bedside table, then went to the bathroom door. ‘I’ve brought you the aspirin. They’re beside the bed.’

There was no answer, although she had raised her voice to carry over the sound of the water. Katherine felt suddenly uneasy as she remembered how unsteady Jordan had looked when he had got out of bed. Like it or not, she couldn’t just walk away without checking if he was all right.

She opened the bathroom door, ready to retreat if need be. But one glance at the figure slumped against the tiles confirmed her fears. She ran into the room and crouched down beside him. ‘Jordan... are you all right? Can you hear me?’

He seemed to have some difficulty focusing, judging by the way his eyes slid over her face. ‘Dizzy,’ he muttered thickly. ‘Awfully dizzy.’

‘Here, let me help you up.’ Katherine tried to haul him to his feet but he was a dead weight. She crouched down again, to slide her arm around his waist, trying not to notice the bare contours of his body. But it was impossible not to be aware of the sleek power of the muscles which rippled beneath her fingers, impossible to ignore the warm, male scent of his skin.

It took several attempts before he managed to struggle to his feet, but it was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the bedroom until he had rested. Katherine propped him against the wall, using her weight to counterbalance his.

His skin was still burning hot, despite the shower, and she could feel its heat seeping through her clothes. It disturbed her to realise just how intimately they were standing; her body was pressed against Jordan’s naked one from breast to thigh.

She eased back, then had to hurriedly reach out and steady him as he swayed. Her palms pressed flat against the hard wall of his chest, and the thick whorls of black hair which covered it twined sensuously around her fingers.

Katherine felt her heart lurch as she felt its springiness. She curled her fingers into her palms, to free them from the bondage of hair, and felt her nails rasp down his skin—almost... almost as though she were caressing him...

Unbidden, her eyes lifted, and she felt the blood rush to her face as she saw the gentle amusement in Jordan’s heavy blue eyes. ‘Mmm, I bet you didn’t bargain for this when you offered to help me, did you, Katherine?’

The wryness in his voice made her smile despite the tension which was coiled like a tightly wound spring inside her. She smoothed her hands flat against his chest, trying not to notice how the hair curled around her fingers again, as though intent on holding them there. ‘I definitely didn’t!’

He gave a throaty laugh as he looped his arm around her shoulders. ‘Well, I for one could stay here all day like this, but I don’t imagine it would be wise—for any number of reasons. Shall we try and get to the bedroom, sweetheart?’

The tender endearment made her heart turn over. Katherine didn’t try to answer because she was afraid of what Jordan might hear in her voice. She slid her arm around his waist as he took a tentative step away from the wall, and felt a rush of alarm as his legs seemed to buckle.

‘Careful! Hold onto me, Jordan. Don’t let go!’

He drew a deep breath, yet his voice seemed to grate breathlessly. ‘That sounds like the best suggestion I’ve ever heard. Holding onto you is my intention, Katherine.’

Katherine shot him a startled look, but there was nothing on his face to explain her feeling that there had been a double meaning to the words. She concentrated on helping him back to the bed, and was relieved when he finally sank down onto it. Jordan was a big man, tall and well-built, despite the fact that he didn’t carry an inch of spare flesh, and if he had passed out then she would have had no hope of moving him.

He lay back against the pillows with a sigh and closed his eyes, his body bathed in sweat and trembling from the exertion. Katherine drew a ragged breath, then bent to lift his legs up onto the bed to make him more comfortable. Even his legs were hot to the touch, the fever obviously raging through every bit of him...

Her gaze skimmed upwards before she realised what she was doing, and she felt her pulse leap. Jordan’s legs were long and well-muscled, his calves firm under their heavy coating of black hair, his thighs powerfully contoured, his hips narrow...

Katherine’s heart raced so that the blood drummed inside her head. She wasn’t a prude, but the reality of looking at a naked man as powerfully built as Jordan was a world removed from studying a painting or a piece of classical sculpture. Jordan’s masculinity was raw and potent, and something inside her responded to it despite herself.

She turned away abruptly, aware that she was trembling as she hurried to the wardrobe and found a spare blanket. Her hands were shaking, as though she were the one caught in the throes of the fever, as she carried it back to the bed and spread it over him.

‘Don’t want...’ Jordan stirred as he felt the soft wool envelop him. ‘Too hot, Katherine. Take it ’way...’

He tried to push the blanket off, but Katherine caught his hands and held them still. She took a deep breath, deliberately ridding her mind of those dangerous feelings by focusing on making him comfortable. Oddly it was something she wanted to do rather than simply feeling she had to.

‘No, leave it there. You’ll get a chill if you push it off. Just lie still, Jordan, and go to sleep, then you’ll feel better. Will you do that for me?’

His lips twisted into a smile as he gazed at her with heavy blue eyes. ‘Just for you, Katherine. Only for you...’

His lids lowered and he was asleep in seconds, the raspy sound of his breathing filling the room. Katherine stared down at him, studying the way his thick black lashes lay on his cheeks like two small fans. She felt something inside her stir. Tenderness? Compassion? Neither seemed to be exactly what she felt right then, but then neither seemed to be the sort of thing she usually felt when she thought of Jordan either!

She glanced down, suddenly realising that she was still holding his hands. He had nice hands, she thought as she turned them over. They were strong, capable hands; his fingers were long and beautifully shaped, his nails were cut blunt, and his skin was so darkly tanned that it made a startling contrast to her own...

Katherine felt her senses swim. She closed her eyes, trying desperately to blank out the pictures which suddenly filled her head. She had tried so hard to forget that night, yet suddenly it was as clear as though it were happening all over again: Jordan’s hands sliding up her pale, naked body to cup her breasts; the hunger in his eyes as he looked at her; the hot, moist feel of his mouth as it closed over her nipple...

And the clearest, most terrifying memory of all: the way she had responded as he had shown her that she was a woman...exactly like her mother!

‘Normally I would insist that your husband went to hospital, Mrs James. However, in view of the fact that he is so adamant that he doesn’t want to go, and that this isn’t the first time he has had malaria, I think it will be safe enough to allow him to remain here.’

‘Is there anything else I need to know?’ Katherine opened the door as the doctor picked up his bag. ‘I’ll make sure that he takes the medicine you’ve prescribed for him, of course.’

‘That’s the main thing.’ The doctor smiled reassuringly as he saw the concern in her eyes. ‘Your husband will be fine, Mrs James. It’s just a question of letting the illness run its course. There will be bouts of fever followed by periods when he will feel chilled, and he may even appear slightly confused at times. However, just make sure that he’s comfortable and he should be right as rain in a day or so.’

‘Thank you, Doctor.’

Katherine closed the door, then went back to the bedroom. Jordan was asleep again, lying quietly enough beneath the blanket now. She tried to decide if he looked any better but it was hard to tell. All she could do was wait for the illness to run its course, as the doctor had said, although she still couldn’t quite believe what was the matter with Jordan.

Malaria! Never in her wildest moment would she have suspected that was what was wrong. But the doctor had seemed in little doubt after Jordan had explained that he’d had it before. It made her wonder suddenly where he had caught it, but then there were so many things about him which she didn’t know. Their marriage hadn’t been founded on a mutual need to get to know one another, but on something far more basic. Maybe they had been foolish to imagine that it could have worked in the circumstances.

Katherine moved away from the bed and went to the window to stare out. The evening rush hour was almost over but there was still plenty of traffic moving along the street. Its sound was muted to a low hum which made a background for the thoughts humming inside her head.

Would either of them have gone into this marriage if they’d had any real idea of how it would turn out? She couldn’t speak for Jordan, and it was equally difficult to answer the question herself. Even with the benefit of hindsight she had trouble deciding.

She turned to glance at the man lying in the bed and sighed. There was a strange sense of déjà vu about everything which had happened in the past two days. Eighteen months ago there had also seemed little alternative but to ask Jordan for help...

When Katherine discovered that her home in Suffolk had been mortgaged to the hilt and that the bank was about to call in its loan, she realised that something had to be done. Carstairs Engineering had been losing money for years, and since her father’s heart attack six months previously affairs had gone from bad to worse.

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