“I want you, Arizona!” About the Author Title Page CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE Copyright

“I want you, Arizona!”

“There’s a saying about hell and fury and women scorned—are you sure you’re not suffering from being scorned, Declan?” she asked scathingly.

He laughed. “It could be a bit of that, too, I guess.”

“On the other hand, what would you have thought of me if I had responded to your eyes across the fence?”

“Well, I probably wouldn’t have had to marry you, would I?” he said placidly.

LINDSAY ARMSTRONG was born in South Africa, but now lives in Australia with her New Zealand-born husband and their five children. They have lived in nearly every state of Australia and have tried their hand at some unusual, for them, occupations, such as farming and horse training—all grist to the mill for a writer! Lindsay started writing romances when their youngest child began school and she was left feeling at a loose end. She is still doing it and loving it.

Married For Real

Lindsay Armstrong

www.millsandboon.co.uk

CHAPTER ONE

ARIZONA Adams flung her large black hat on a settee, crossed the lounge to the mirror over the fireplace and withdrew the pins securing her thick hair. She ran her fingers through it as it fell to her shoulders in a rich river of chestnut. It was strong, abundant hair with a bit of a wave in it, and she could do pretty much as she liked with it. Her late husband, who had died a year ago and whose memorial service she’d just attended, had often commented that it had a life of its own.

She sighed and looked at her elegant outfit, an almost ankle-length slim black dress worn with a long cream jacket, and thought he would probably have approved of it. He’d also often said that she had an innate but different sense of style, although he’d been fond of adding that she could wear anything and look good. But the truth was, she did her own thing when it came to clothes, and for some reason it generally came out right—then again, according to her mother, she always did her own thing pretty much, which was fairly ironic coming from her mother, who had named her only daughter after a song first and a state in the USA quite incidentally. Yet here she was, Arizona reflected also with irony, feeling tense and uneasy as well as sad and not at all sure whether she would be allowed to continue to do her own thing.

She turned away from the fireplace and glanced at her watch. Nearly six o’clock, which left six more hours of this day—would he come?

He came five minutes later.

Arizona heard the doorbell chime just after she’d shed her jacket and was picking up her hat. She stilled, and right on cue the double lounge doors opened and Cloris stood there.

‘Sorry, Arizona,’ she said diffidently, ‘I know you didn’t want to be disturbed but it’s Mr. Holmes. I—well, I didn’t like to say no.’

‘That’s all right, Cloris,’ Arizona said resignedly, laying her hat and jacket down with exaggerated care. ‘I’m sure Mr. Holmes is a hard man to say no to.’

Cloris, who liked to think she enjoyed a more exalted station than housekeeper but who nevertheless was a marvellous housekeeper, smiled gratefully. ‘He was at the service,’ she confided. ‘At the back—I don’t think many people saw him. I only saw him because I was at the back myself and, well—’ she gestured ‘—that’s Mr. Holmes.’

‘That’s Mr. Holmes,’ Arizona echoed. ‘Show him in, please, Cloris.’

Cloris beamed then hesitated. ‘Would you like me to bring in some, er, drinks and snacks?’

‘No,’ Arizona said definitely.

Cloris opened her mouth but detected the gleam in Arizona’s grey eyes, and she withdrew with a suddenly shuttered expression. Arizona grimaced. Ten seconds later Declan Holmes walked into the room. He was, as Arizona had often heard commented, a fine figure of a man. Tall and well built, he had thick dark hair and Irish blue eyes. That he often had a saturnine, cynical look in those blue eyes didn’t seem to lower him in the estimation of many women by an iota. If anything, it was the opposite. Which was a fact that she’d thought about once or twice with some cynicism herself—her own sex’s preference for dark, damning men. And, as she’d often seen him, he was faultlessly outfitted in a dark grey suit that hid neither his powerful shoulders nor lean hips and justly became his position of wealth and power.

‘Hello, Declan,’ she said coolly and with some idea of taking the initiative as he stopped a few feet from her. ‘So you did come.’

He raised a wry eyebrow at her. ‘I don’t break my word lightly, Arizona. How are you? I believe I’m to be denied the pleasure of having a drink with you.’

She narrowed her eyes and said a bare, ‘Yes.’

‘That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?’ he murmured amusedly. ‘You look as if you could do with one yourself. It can’t have been an easy afternoon.’

‘And about to become even harder, I imagine.’

‘We’ll see,’ he said placidly. ‘Did you really think I wouldn’t come? I thought you knew me better than that, Arizona.’

‘It’s strange you should say that, Declan, because I hardly know you at all,’ she retorted.

‘Now that, my dear, is not quite true,’ he replied. ‘I think it’s fair to say we’ve been—eyeing each other over the fence for a couple of years now.’

A flash of anger lit her eyes. ‘I have not been eyeing you or anyone else over any fence,’ she said precisely.

He moved his shoulders slightly. ‘Well, put it this way—I’ve certainly been eyeing you, Arizona. And I’m equally certain that you have not been unaware of it.’

She tensed inwardly and would have loved to be able to deny this with composure and surety. Unfortunately, although he’d made no overt moves at all, she had been aware, by some inner sense, of Declan Holmes’s interest. There had been times right from the day they’d first met when she’d looked across a room and encountered his blue gaze, times, she couldn’t deny to herself, when something within had responded, some curl of interest had awoken—which she’d thoroughly despised herself for. And correspondingly there had been times when she’d gone out of her way to avoid him, only to be visited by the uncomfortable feeling that he’d known exactly what she was doing and why... But I’m damned if I’m actually going to admit anything to him.

She said matter of factly, ‘A lot of men look.’

He smiled a little dryly. ‘One of the hazards of being such a good sort, I guess.’

Arizona shrugged. ‘I don’t really care whether you think I’m vain, Declan.’

‘As a matter of fact I don’t—just honest, in this case. Do they all ask you to marry them?’ he enquired guilelessly.

Arizona was saved having to reply as there was a knock at the door. It was Cloris, looking pink and determined, which didn’t happen often, but when it did she was as tenacious as a miniature bulldog with faded blonde curls. She had with her a trolley with an array of drinks and a plate of snacks, and she stood in the doorway staring beseechingly at her boss. Arizona closed her eyes then said in a goaded sort of voice, ‘Bring it in, Cloris, bring it in.’

And so Cloris spent a few fluttering minutes deploying her trolley and departed finally in an even worse flutter after a few kind words from Declan Holmes.

Who said to Arizona once the door was closed again, ‘Routed, I’m afraid, Arizona—are you going to take it in good grace? In other words, may I pour you a drink and myself one and may we then sit down and discuss—things more comfortably?’ But there was a gleam of mockery in his blue eyes.

Arizona breathed deeply, shrugged and sat down. ‘Thanks, a brandy and dry,’ she said briefly.

He poured two of the same, handed her hers then sat down opposite her. ‘Cheers. Well, here’s to the fact that I’m here to ask you to marry me as I promised I would twelve months ago—to the day,’ he said gently, sipped his drink then placed it beside him.

‘And you haven’t, in the intervening twelve months, reflected that if nothing else it was pure bad taste to ask me that on the day of my husband’s funeral?’ she retorted.

‘On the contrary, I think advising you of my intentions but allowing a whole year to pass before I acted on them was observing all the proprieties. Particularly in view of the fact that your last marriage was a marriage of convenience, Arizona.’

‘How dare you?’ She stared at him coldly.

‘Let’s examine the facts then,’ he replied smoothly, ‘and don’t forget I knew Pete well. But you came here to Scawfell as a penniless governess, didn’t you, Arizona? To look after the four motherless children of a man twice your age. Less than a year later you married him, and all this—’ he gestured, taking in the elegant room and somehow more, the whole beautiful estate of Scawfell ‘—became yours.’

‘No, it didn’t,’ Arizona contradicted through lips pale with anger. ‘It’s held in trust for his children, as you very well know, Declan. After all, you’re the trustee.’

‘All the same, you have the use of it guaranteed until you remarry, Arizona,’ he said coolly, ‘and the means so that you can continue to use it in the manner to which you’ve become accustomed.’ His eyes lingered on the smooth skin of her bare arms then drifted down the exquisitely tailored black dress.

‘I didn’t want that, I didn’t know it was in his will,’ she said steadily. ‘Nor have I done anything in the manner to which I had become accustomed, quote unquote, since Pete died, other than look after his children and—’

‘How are they?’ he broke in.

‘Fine,’ Arizona said briskly. ‘Why don’t you ask them how I rate as a stepmother, incidentally?’

‘I’ve never accused you of not being a good stepmother, Arizona,’ he returned mildly.

‘Only a fortune huntress,’ she said with soft mockery.

‘Well, why did you do it?’ he countered.

‘Marry Pete?’ she said with hauteur. ‘That’s my business, Declan, and I’m afraid you’re, destined to remain in ignorance.’

‘Even when you’re married to me?’

She took this without a blink and said thoughtfully, ‘Tell me something—considering what good friends you were, didn’t you think it was in incredibly bad taste to be eyeing your friend’s wife across the fence, as you put it yourself, Declan, if nothing else?’

‘Unfortunately one can’t help one’s—instinctive reactions. And as I did nothing but look on the odd occasion, no, I don’t.’

‘And what would have happened if Pete hadn’t died?’ she asked caustically.

He shrugged wryly. ‘Who knows? I might have got tired of looking, although I’m not sure about that. Or you might have got tired of Pete.’ He grimaced.

Arizona ignored this and said, ‘But, and this does puzzle me, you now want to marry me, despite the fact that you think I only married Pete with an eye to the main chance. That doesn’t altogether make sense, if you’ll forgive me.’

‘I think it makes perfect sense,’ he responded. ‘I have a much larger fortune than Peter ever had, which makes me an excellent candidate for your hand—provided, of course, you reserve that lovely, sexy—’ he looked her up and down ‘—body for my exclusive use,’ he finished, looking into her eyes with a gleam of pure insolence in his.

‘That’s incredbly—that’s diabolical,’ Arizona said with an effort, an effort to stay calm. ‘You’re talking about trade, nothing else—’

‘I rather thought you understood about trade all too well, Arizona,’ he broke in.

‘Contrary to what you think, Declan, I was extremely fond of Pete,’ she said, and stood up restlessly.

‘But you weren’t in love with him?’ he said after a moment as he sat with his arm along the back of the settee and watched her thoughtfully.

‘I...’ She stopped then looked directly into his blue eyes. ‘It wasn’t a grand passion, if they exist.’ She shrugged. ‘But yes, I loved him in a way. A warm, committed way that I can’t imagine ever loving you.’ And her grey eyes were suddenly challenging.

‘Would it surprise you to find yourself loving me in a different way?’

‘Are you talking about love or lust?’ she asked with an insolent glint of her own.

‘They’re not always easy to separate, Arizona,’ he drawled.

‘Oh, I think they would be in this case.’

A faint smile twisted his lips, then he sat forward, picked up his drink and regarded its depths for a moment before he said, ‘Well, my dear, this may be the moment to talk turkey then. Pete’s rather complicated estate has finally cleared probate, and unfortunately, the outlook is not good at all.’

Arizona frowned at him. ‘What do you mean?’

‘You may not have realized this, but Scawfell is heavily mortgaged and was, to an extent, mortgaged against Peter’s future income, which should have payed it off—he was one of the most famous, soughtafter architects in the country. What he neglected to do, however, was take out any insurance against, well, the unknown happening such as did happen.’

Arizona sat down rather suddenly. ‘What are you saying?’

‘I’m saying,’ he said levelly, ‘that although he was the finest architect, he wasn’t much of a businessman. He was also very secretive so that not even I knew how complicated his affairs were or how unwise some of his investments. What it boils down to is that Scawfell will have to be sold to save anything of his estate for his children, let alone the provisions he made for you, but in the real estate climate of the moment, it’s debatable if there will be anything left for any of you.’

‘But I don’t understand,’ Arizona whispered, paling as his words sank in. ‘He never said a word to me about all this, not—’ she stopped then continued ‘—not that I ever asked him. But he didn’t seem to have any worries about finances.’

‘He wouldn’t have had if he hadn’t died so unexpectedly.’

‘But...’ She stood up again, uncaring that he was watching her like a hawk now. ‘This is terrible! It was bad enough for them to lose their father like that, in a car accident, after losing their mother to an incurable disease and with no living relatives—’

‘Which was why as their trustee I agreed to them staying with you, Arizona,’ he said with a significant little look. ‘They don’t have anyone else, no grandparents left alive, aunts or uncles et cetera because both their parents were single children.’

‘I know that. And to lose Scawfell as well,’ she said hollowly. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I’m sorry to have to say I’m all too sure.’

‘So... what will we do?’ She stared at him dazedly. ‘Ben is enough of a handful at the moment as it is.’ She stopped abruptly and bit her lip.

‘So they’re not all fine—what about the others?’

Arizona closed her eyes briefly then said a little bitterly, ‘I’m sure fifteen-year-old boys can be a handful without the trauma he’s gone through—’

‘Oh, I’m sure they can,’ Declan Holmes replied dryly. ‘Especially without a father. What about ten-year-old twins—and Daisy?’

‘How did you find them on the last of your monthly visits?’ Arizona countered.

He looked amused. ‘My monthly visits that you so pointedly went out of your way to avoid whenever you could? Daisy was—Daisy,’ he said. ‘The twins were extremely taken up with the model I brought down, and Ben was out, too.’

Arizona sighed. ‘Sarah and Richard do seem to have bounced back, but then they have each other,’ she said of Peter Adams’s ten-year-old twins. ‘As for Daisy, it took her months to understand he was never coming back, then she got weepy for a while, but I think she’s forgetting now, although she tends to cling, but I’m always here so—Ben is the only real problem.’

‘How so?’

‘He’s moody, he seems to have given up on schoolhe seems to hate the whole world, other than his horse and riding, at times.’

‘I see.’

‘That’s a great help,’ Arizona remarked after a pause.

‘I didn’t think you wanted my help.’

‘I don’t, but you insisted on knowing. Look,’ she said impatiently, ‘this is getting us nowhere. How come no-one has seen fit to let me know about all this before today?’

‘A lot of it wasn’t known for a time. There were offshore ventures that took quite some time and patience to unravel.’

‘But I don’t understand,’ she said, perplexed. ‘How have we been going along in the meantime?’

Declan Holmes paused, narrowed his eyes and said, ‘I hope you don’t hate this too much, Arizona, but with my help.’

She gasped. ‘Do you mean you’ve been supporting us?’

‘Precisely.’

‘But why didn’t you tell me?’

He said reflectively, ‘I had several motives, Arizona. I didn’t want to add any more burdens for the kids to have to cope with so soon after losing their second parent, and I thought it would be difficult for you to carry on unconcernedly once you knew.’

‘Well, you’re right,’ she said through her teeth, ‘but it would have been on their behalf not mine that I would have been unable to remain unconcerned despite what I have no doubt you’re implying!’

‘Perhaps,’ he said mildly.

‘So what were your other motives?’ she demanded.

He raised an eyebrow. ‘I guess I wanted to see how you did—conduct yourself over the last twelve months.’

‘Before you came back and asked me to marry you again? How do you know I haven’t taken a legion of lovers in the interim?’

‘Have you?’

Arizona made a sound of pure, despairing exasperation.

‘Look, don’t answer—I know you haven’t,’ he said with a lightening grin.

Arizona opened her mouth, closed it then all but spat, ‘Have you been having me followed or something like that?’

‘No, nothing like that, but I do have my sources,’ he replied imperturbably. ‘In fact,’ he continued softly, ‘it’s almost as if you’ve been waiting for me, my dear.’

‘So...it’s never entered your calculations,’ she said with difficulty, ‘that I might just have been grieving and not interested in forming any liaisons?’

‘Well, one day I’ll probably know a lot more about you, but in the meantime, will you marry me, Arizona?’

‘No. Definitely not,’ she added to give it more force and then tried a little more force. ‘It would be the very last thing I’d do. Do I make myself clear?’

His blue gaze didn’t alter much—perhaps a tinge of amusement crept into it. ‘Not even if I told you that it was one way, probably the only way, to save Scawfell for Pete’s kids?’

Arizona realized suddenly that she could hear her heart beating heavily, that her lips were dry and her breathing ragged. And nearly a minute passed before she said in a voice quite unlike her own, ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean that if you married me I would pay off the mortgage on the estate so that the children had something to inherit as well as a familiar beloved spot to live out their childhood, and I would support them as my own—as our own.’

‘Do you mean you would bring them up as your children?’ she said uncertainly.

‘We could bring them up as ours.’

Arizona stared at him dazedly then licked her lips. ‘What’s the alternative—for them, I mean?’

‘Well, I would certainly never let Pete’s children starve, but taking them on single-handedly wouldn’t be the same for them—I’d probably have to relocate them. I wouldn’t have a great deal of time for them although I suppose I could always get another governess for them.’

‘Stop,’ she whispered then cleared her throat. ‘This is the most arrant blackmail I’ve ever heard—why?’ she asked intensely.

‘Why?’ he mused. ‘I should have thought that was obvious—I want you, Arizona!’

‘There’s a saying about hell and fury and women scorned—are you sure you’re not suffering from being scorned, Declan?’ she asked scathingly.

He laughed. ‘It could be a bit of that, too, I guess.’

‘On the other hand what would you have thought of me if I had responded to your eyes across the fence?’

‘Well, I probably wouldn’t have had to marry you, would I?’ he said placidly.

‘That doesn’t make sense—it’s worse,’ she declared bitterly. ‘It puts me in a no-win situation, which is simply crazy!’

‘Well, now, that remains to be seen. Being married to me won’t be nearly so bad as you’re cracking it up, Arizona. At one stroke you’ll retain Scawfell, you’ll retain four children you’re very fond of and who need you—think of that if nothing else.’

Arizona closed her eyes and for the life of her couldn’t help thinking of it. Thinking of Daisy, whose natural mother had died when she was two, Daisy who didn’t remember her and didn’t understand about stepmothers and thought Arizona was her mother, Daisy who worried... Thought about Sarah and Richard, charming twins so long as you understood the full extent of their dependence on each other, and Ben. Poor, tortured Ben who was still bereft without his father, who now viewed the world with cynicism and disenchantment and was increasingly disruptive ... She opened her eyes and stared blankly at Declan Holmes.

‘Also,’ he said quietly, ‘you’ll have your sex life taken care of—and an awful lot of pin money to spend, Arizona.’

‘If I didn’t hate you before, I do now,’ she responded equally quietly.

He smiled briefly. ‘But you’ll do it?’

‘Only because I have no choice.’

‘Not entirely true,’ he drawled, ‘but nevertheless, when?’

‘Oh, I think I’ll leave it to you to name the day, Declan.’

‘Is that some kind of a cop-out, Arizona?’ he murmured.

‘No,’ she said baldly. ‘Merely an indication of my lack of interest.’

His Lips twisted but he said only, ‘How about a month from today then? It will give the kids a bit of time to get used to the idea.’

‘If you say so—me, as well, I suppose.’ She grimaced.

‘You’ve had a lot longer than that,’ he remarked softly. ‘If it’s so repugnant I’m surprised you haven’t left the country or something equally dramatic.’

‘But you knew damn well you had me here as some kind of a hostage, didn’t you, Declan?’

‘Did I?’ he reflected. ‘Exactly what kind of a hostage, is what one wonders, to be honest. While I don’t doubt your devotion to the kids—oh, well—’ he gestured with one long, strong hand ‘—time will no doubt tell. Why don’t you invite me for the weekend, Arizona? We could start the process of apprising the world of our intentions.’

‘Come, by all means,’ Arizona replied with utterly false cordiality. In fact her stance and the look in her eyes said something quite different—come and do your damnedest, in other words.

To which, after a long, challenging moment, he merely smiled gently as if to say, We’ll see, we’ll see...

‘Dearest Mother,’ Arizona wrote that night. ‘I suppose it’s still all right to call you that and not Sister Margaret Mary, but I digress. The news is that I’m getting married again—now I know how you opposed, from the seclusion of your convent, my first marriage but from a purely materialistic sense, this one is even better. You’ve probably heard of Declan Holmes—who hasn’t? Yes, the same one who took over his father’s media empire (small media empire) at the age of twenty-six and now, at about thirty-three, could probably be justifiably termed a media magnate. Well, he was a good friend of Peter’s, he’s the children’s trustee and guardian and as I’m the children’s stepmother, it seems like a good idea. So far as your objections to my previous marriage go, he’s only ten years older than me, he’s not a father figure or anything like that, he’s a mighty marriageable man, but no, I’m not in love with him and I don’t think he’s in love with me. What else can I tell you? It’s to be a month from today...’

Arizona lifted her head and stared into the middle distance. Can I tell you that I’m incredibly confused, desperate and afraid? That I’m wondering whether I should leave the country or something like that—but how to leave the kids?

She closed her eyes then impatiently tore the sheet off her notepad and threw it into the wastepaper basket. A moment later she reached down and tore it up into little pieces, which she let fall like confetti into the basket, thinking at the same time that it was a cheap shot writing to her mother like that, that it was continuing a feud that should be over, that if the one thing her mother had done right in her life, it seemed she was making a good nun.

The next morning as she dressed, she observed the slight shadows under her eyes, grimaced then tossed her head. She pulled on jeans and a blue sweater, tied her hair back and went on her rounds of waking the children. And when they were dressed and assembled at the big table in the kitchen, she went out of her way to be as normal as possible over breakfast, served by Cloris.

‘Let’s see, Sarah and Richard, you have drama this afternoon after school. Daisy, you’re going to play with Chloe straight from school and I’ll pick you up at five o’clock and Ben—’

‘I know exactly what I’ve got on, thanks, Arizona, you don’t have to treat me as a child,’ Ben interrupted intensely.

‘Okay!’ Arizona smiled at him and got up to give Cloris a hand with the school lunches. ‘Oh, by the way,’ she said casually over her shoulder, ‘Declan is coming to spend this weekend with us.’

‘Yippee!’ the twins chorused, and Daisy followed with a similar exclamation.

It was Ben who said moodily, ‘What’s he coming for? I thought he was here yesterday.’

Arizona narrowed her eyes. ‘And I thought you liked Declan, Ben.’

‘He’s all right,’ he said ungraciously. ‘But what is he coming for?’

‘It doesn’t matter what he’s coming for, Ben,’ Daisy said earnestly. ‘What matters is that he’s nice and we should be nice back, shouldn’t we?’

‘For God’s sake,’ Ben entreated, ‘can’t you make her stop lecturing us, Arizona? She’s only six—’

‘Ben—’

‘And you shouldn’t say that,’ Daisy continued solemnly. ‘Should he, Arizona? I mean talk about God like that?’

‘Eat your breakfast, Daisy,’ Arizona said smoothly.

‘But I’m right, aren’t I?’

‘Yes, you’re right,’ Arizona replied with the patience of long practice.

‘Well, for crying out loud then,’ Ben muttered moodily, ‘what happened to the old saying about children—’ he glared at his baby sister ‘—being seen and not heard?’

‘Daisy not heard!’ Sarah said with a giggle.

Richard piped up, ‘That’ll be the day!’

Whereupon Ben got up and flung out of the kitchen with his breakfast half eaten.

Cloris wrung her hands and murmured something about growing boys, Daisy embarked upon the hazards of not eating one’s meals and wasting away, Sarah and Richard became convulsed with giggles, and Arizona raised her eyes heavenwards as she wondered where this golden, solemn little girl had inherited her lecturing and worrying tendencies from—because Daisy worried dreadfully about everything and never hesitated to expound upon it.

‘It’s all right, pet,’ she said to Daisy. And later when she dropped Daisy off, last, at school, reassured her once again.

‘Ben’s not really cross with me is he, Arizona?’ Daisy hung back in the car.

‘No, but it might be an idea not to, well, lecture Ben at the moment.’

‘What’s lecture mean?’

‘Uh—tell him what he’s doing wrong all the time—’

‘Because he might go away and never come back? You wouldn’t ever go away and never come back like Daddy did, would you, Arizona?’ Two large tears began to glisten on Daisy’s lashes.

‘No, no,’ Arizona said hastily and gave her a quick hug and a kiss. ‘Look, sweetheart, there’s Chloe waiting for you. Now, don’t forget you’re going home with Chloe and her mum after school!’

When she got back to Scawfell it was to find Cloris in a suppressed state of excitement. ‘Staying for the whole weekend, Arizona?’. She beamed widely. ‘I’ve already started on the blue bedroom and I’ve made a little list of menus—what do you think?’ She fluttered a piece of paper at Arizona.

‘I have absolute faith in you, Cloris, just don’t make it too grand.’

Cloris managed at the same time to look pleased yet slightly crestfallen. ‘Well, all right,’ she said slowly then smote her cheek. ‘The garden,’ she said anxiously. ‘It’s in a bit of a mess and we’ve only got two days, it’s Thursday today—’

‘I’m about to attack it, Cloris,’ Arizona reassured her.

‘Well, you are so good at it, but I did wonder if we shouldn’t get a gardening firm in, and then there’s Ben!’ she added dramatically. ‘What do you think is wrong with the poor boy?’

Arizona looked at her ruefully. ‘Still missing his father I would say—Cloris, don’t get into too much of a flutter about Declan Holmes, he’s only a man.’

‘I know.’ Cloris blushed nevertheless. ‘But it is a bit of an honour to know him, don’t you think, Arizona?’

‘As a matter of fact I don’t.’ Oh, hell, Arizona thought immediately, I’m going to have to do a bit of an about face soon, aren’t I? And with an impatient grimace, took herself off to attack the garden.

She backed the ride-on mower out of the shed and started on the wide expanse of lawn in front of the house. Scawfell, which Peter Adams had inherited from his parents, was situated on the south coast of New South Wales and comprised about fifty acres. The house was old, two-storied, large and rambling on the outside, but over the years Peter had redesigned the inside so that it was light, modern and very comfortable. It stood with its back to a tree-lined ridge and faced, over its several acres of lawn, the sea. There was a fairly steep cliff face beyond the lawn down to a perfect little bay with a crescent of sandy beach. It was a wonderful place to live if you liked the out-doors, sweeping vistas and the sea. Arizona, born in a city and carted from city to city, excepting while she’d been training to be a teacher, had taken to Scawfell and country life as if she’d been born to it. Always an energetic person, she’d found she loved gardening, grew her own herbs and vegetables and had reclaimed the orchard from a charming wilderness to a garden of bounty. She’d also had the stables renovated, and at present they housed three hacks and three ponies. All of which Declan Holmes had been paying for, she thought with a sudden pang.

Which led her to think further, as she drove the mower expertly and the scent of freshly cut grass filled the air, that she’d been proud of her achievements in her three years at Scawfell, proud in her first year as governess of what she’d achieved with Pete’s children, then in her second year all she’d achieved with his estate. And I even thought I was holding it all together over this last year, she reflected a little bitterly. Little to know...at least I was a model of thrift and resourcefulness. Little to know that the money Declan was feeding into the bank as per the arrangement after the will was read and until probate was his own. Not that it’s helped me much, being so thrifty and resourceful, he still views me with the utmost cynicism and he’s still determined to marry me...

She sighed again and thought of Peter Adams, who had been a vague, warm, friendly man, a genius at designing buildings but not a good businessman, apparently, yet a man who had understood her and had known something of the forces that had moulded her. Why did he have to die? she thought sadly. For the first time in my life I felt...safe.

She spent that day and the next working extremely hard, often alongside Cloris although certainly not in the same mood. But she couldn’t deny that she was also motivated to have Scawfell looking its best. It was unfortunate that Declan Holmes, who’d said he would arrive on Saturday morning, arrived late on Friday afternoon, catching her unkempt after a bout in the orchard. But the news he brought with him upset her all the more...

CHAPTER TWO

SHE was crossing the driveway, hauling the dead bough of a peach tree, when he drove up in his dark red convertible Saab.

She dropped the bough and stood with her hands on her hips as he stopped the car only feet from her. It was a windy, cool dusk with the promise of rain in the air, and she wore a pair of denim dungarees over an ancient checked shirt, wellingtons, gardening gloves and had her hair bundled into a red scarf.

On the other hand, as he opened the door and stepped out of the Saab, she saw that he was wearing well-pressed khaki trousers, highly polished brown moccasins and a white knit sports shirt beneath a beautiful dark brown leather jacket.

‘What are you doing here today?’ she said crisply as his blue eyes drifted amusedly over her.

‘Came a bit early, that’s all,’ he drawled. ‘Is there a problem?’

‘You could have warned us!’

‘Sorry,’ he said entirely unrepentantly. ‘But if you’re embarrassed about how you look, may I say that it makes no difference what you wear, you still look like a goddess, Arizona. Although in this case an avenging goddess,’ he added with soft mockery.

Arizona’s expression defied description for a moment, then she said tautly, ‘Cloris will be thrown into despair. She’d planned to roll out the red carpet for you and make every meal a masterpiece, whereas it could well be mince on toast tonight.’

He laughed. ‘I quite like mince on toast, and I loathe red carpets, but I will make my formal apologies to Cloris.’

‘Not to me, though.’ She gazed at him coolly.

‘I really don’t think there’s anything I need to apologize to you for, Arizona, is there?’ He raised an eyebrow at her.

‘No, nothing!’ she marvelled. ‘Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll get rid of this and—’

‘Incidentally,’ he broke in as she turned away, ‘I’ll be staying for the week.’

She turned back immediately. ‘A week! Why?’

‘I felt like a break, that’s all.’ He shrugged. ‘And seeing as we’re betrothed, who better to spend it with than you? Of course I didn’t expect the prospect to fill you with undiluted joy, but—’

Arizona muttered something under her breath and went to turn away again, whereupon he stopped her with a hand on her wrist. ‘But we do have a bargain, don’t we, Arizona?’

‘Let me go,’ she said proudly.

‘In a moment. Don’t we, Arizona?’ he repeated evenly.

‘Yes,’ she said through her teeth. ‘However, in private, Declan, don’t expect much joy at all!’

His blue eyes narrowed but he said merely, ‘And in public, Arizona?’

‘I have no idea how—things will come out,’ she said through her teeth.

‘Then you better start thinking about it,’ he replied dryly. ‘Or thinking about the kids,’ he added with all the pointedness of an unerringly aimed arrow. ‘Are they all home?’

‘No. Ben is out camping with his scout group.’ She paused then decided not to tell him that Ben had not intended to go on this camp—until he’d heard about Declan Holmes spending the weekend with them. So she added instead with a scornful toss of her head, ‘I’m not in the habit of placing children in the line of fire, Declan.’

‘Good,’ he murmured. ‘Then allow me.’ And he picked up the bough. ‘Where do you want it?’

Arizona gazed at him for a long moment but his eyes were a placid, mild blue. ‘Over there, thanks,’ she said briskly, pointing towards a pile of timber. ‘I thought we might have a bonfire tomorrow night, if it doesn’t rain.’

‘Sounds like fun,’ he said casually. ‘Stay there, I’ll drive you up to the house.’

‘Won’t you be bored stiff—here for a whole week?’ she said abruptly as he drove the short distance to the front door.

‘No. Why should I?’

‘It’s not exactly a dashing lifestyle we pursue,’ she said with irony.

‘It’s not exactly a dashing lifestyle I’m after. And I thought it would be nice to—ride with you, swim with you, that sort of thing. We could also,’ he went on as she cast him a weary look, ‘go over the estate together and decide what needs to be done.’

‘There’s quite a lot—’ She broke off and castigated herself mentally.

‘Quite a lot to be done? Good—we’re here, Arizona,’ he murmured gravely, but his eyes were full of amusement.

‘Well, would you mind if I left you to Cloris’s tender mercies for a while, Declan?’ she returned swiftly and sweetly. ‘I rather desperately need a bath.’

‘Not at all, Arizona, not at all.’

She took with her, upstairs to the privacy of her own suite, a raging tendency to want to swish her tail like an angry lioness.

Her suite, which Pete had designed specially for her, comprised a bedroom, bathroom and study. The bedroom faced the sea and was large and airy with a pale green carpet, an exquisite, riotous bedspread with the same green background and dusky pink and soft lemon tulips all over it, and draped green curtains. The study overlooked the rose garden she’d started at the side of the house, and each piece of furniture, the desk, the lovely winged armchair with matching footstool, the bookcase, were lovingly chosen antiques.

None of it, although it was usually a haven of peace and privacy for her, brought her any peace, however, as she strode into the peach marble bathroom, ran the taps and stalked to her walk-in wardrobe. And she rifled through her clothes impatiently before choosing a pair of slim cream pants and a taupe knit top.

In fact it wasn’t until she was lying in the bath, surrounded by a sea of bubbles with her hair tied on top of her head, that she started to relax at all, and even then it was only in a limited sort of way. How am I going to cope with him in front of the children? she wondered despairingly. If they haven’t sensed my antipathy by now they must at least know we’re not the best of friends.

But although she soaked thoughtfully, then scrubbed and finally got out to dry herself on one of the outsize peach towels, no inspiration came to her. Perhaps I can only follow his lead, she mused dismally as she drew on her underwear and then her clothes and sat at the vanity table.

An avenging goddess, she thought bitterly as she studied her reflection. Damn the man! But I can’t go on thinking like that, can I? So what do I think about instead? she asked herself dryly as she brushed her hair until it shone and left it loose to float in a chestnut cloud to her shoulders. What it will be like to be married to him?

She closed her eyes briefly then smoothed moisturizer onto her skin and made up her face lightly, just a touch of foundation, a light lipstick and shaped her eyebrows with a little brush, and answered herself, No, I just can’t picture it but then again, I can’t picture how to extricate myself, either!

She stood up suddenly and caught sight. of herself in the full-length mirror on the opposite wall. She was five foot nine and knew that she had a willowy figure with some luscious curves that attracted men like bees to a honeypot. Her mother had had the same kind of figure.... To go with it, she had smooth skin like pale honey, luminous grey eyes with dark-tipped lashes, a well-defined mouth, and she could look thoughtful and serious, sometimes serene and happy, often impatient and autocratic but always, according to Peter Adams, amazingly good to look at.

She sighed and turned away abruptly.

What she found when she went downstairs was not exactly what she’d expected. The table was laid for dinner in the large, bright kitchen, which was normal. But it could have only taken Declan’s charm to persuade Cloris to feed him in the kitchen. And he, the twins and Daisy were working on a model galleon in the rumpus room adjacent to the kitchen, separated by a half wall. Cloris was happily attending to a leg of lamb. It was a contented, domesticated scene. She paused just inside the doorway and thought of Ben, out camping in the windy darkness rather than being here, with a little sigh. But the only living thing that seemed to afford Ben any consolation these days was his horse, Daintry.

Declan Holmes looked up and saw her. ‘Arizona—’ he straightened ‘—you look...refreshed.’

‘Thanks,’ she said briefly, bit her lip then walked into the rumpus room. ‘How’s it going?’

‘I think we’re making progress.’ He looked at the three absorbed, bent heads around him, and Arizona suddenly remembered that he’d brought the galleon for the children on his last visit.

‘That was a good idea,’ she murmured, gesturing. ‘We keep it for that rather difficult hour to fill between bath time and dinner time.’

‘Yes,’ Daisy said earnestly. ‘We’re not allowed to touch it until we’ve had our baths.’

‘That’s why we’ve been so slow,’ Richard said ruefully. ‘We could have finished it weeks ago, couldn’t we, Sarah?’

‘Sure could.’ Sarah didn’t raise her head, so engrossed was she.

‘But that wouldn’t have been right,’ Daisy began.

Whereupon both the twins raised their heads and said exasperatedly, ‘Daisy, don’t start.’

‘I only mean—’

‘Come and have a drink,’ Arizona said wryly to Declan Holmes.

‘With pleasure.’ And when they were sitting in the lounge with their drinks, he said, ‘How do you cope with her?’

‘With patience and humour and just sometimes a desire to tear my hair out. Ben—’ She stopped.

‘Go on.’

‘Ben,’ she said after a moment, ‘is finding it particularly hard to take at the moment, but then he’s finding it all hard to take. I suppose—’ she bent her head and paused in thought then shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But I’m worried about Ben. I can’t get through to him.’

‘I’ll have a chat to him when he gets home.’ He stretched his legs out and looked at her reflectively. ‘In some respects you’re amazingly mature, Arizona.’

‘And in other respects?’ she countered coolly.

‘That wasn’t meant as an insult.’

‘Perhaps I’m so used to them from you I just expect them.’

‘Or perhaps you’re determined to turn everything I say into one. But before—’ his lips twisted ‘—this degenerates into a slanging match, I meant that for someone of only twenty-three you’re—capable. You run this place well, you look after the children well.’

‘That still doesn’t explain what you meant by in some respects.’

‘At times,’ he said slowly, ‘your attitude to me is, well—’ he shrugged quite naive. And sometimes, very rarely, you look young and untouched—but that’s only when I catch you off guard.’

Arizona stared at him and felt an odd prickle beneath her skin. She was saved having to make a reply by Cloris announcing dinner.

‘For a mince-on-toast type of dinner, that was excellent,’ Declan murmured to her after they’d partaken of roast lamb with mint sauce, roast potatoes, pumpkin and sweet potato, baby green peas and rich gravy followed by an apple crumble and cream.

Her mouth curved into a fleeting smile. ‘I would dearly have loved to serve you mince on toast tonight but of course I didn’t reckon on Cloris.’

‘Mince on toast!’ Cloris said right on cue and in a scandalized manner. ‘I only ever give you that for breakfast. What could you have been thinking of, Arizona?’

‘Don’t worry about it, Cloris,’ Arizona murmured with a wry look. ‘Just me being foolish, or is it naive? Okay, kids.’ She stood up. ‘One hour of television since it’s Friday night and your favourite program is due to start in ten minutes, which will give you time to give Cloris a hand! And we could take our coffee into the office, Declan. There are a few things you might be interested to see.’

Declan Holmes stood up. ‘Unfortunately I have a few calls to make, Arizona. May I use the office for those first? And your fax? We can have our little get-together when I’m finished.’

‘By all means,’ Arizona replied airily, although she was actually seething inside. ‘I have a million things to do myself—in fact I have a better idea. Let’s leave it until tomorrow!’

‘Oh, no,’ he said smoothly. ‘Later this evening will do fine.’ And he further infuriated her by helping Cloris and the children clear the table.

It was nine o’clock—she’d spun out the bedtime stories and rituals as long as she could, consoling herself that it was Friday night—before they came together again. And this time he was waiting for her in the lounge when she came downstairs, slightly dishevelled, after an energetic romp with the children before putting their lights out firmly.

‘How about that coffee now, Arizona?’ he drawled and indicated the trolley with a bubbling percolator that Cloris had left.

‘Thank you, yes.’ She walked over to the mirror above the fireplace and ran her fingers through her hair.

‘All bedded down and correct?’ he queried as he poured. She turned away from the mirror.

‘Hopefully.’

‘Lucky kids,’ he commented and handed her a cup.

She sat down in her usual chair, wondered what to say but before she had a chance to wonder much, he said, ‘There are a couple of things we ought to discuss, Arizona.’ And sat down opposite her.

‘I’m sure there are.’ She shrugged. ‘I don’t feel much like it at the moment, though.’

‘Well—’ he paused and looked at her wryly ‘—perhaps that’s what we should discuss first.’

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she murmured and smothered a yawn.

‘I mean, taking the first step towards—putting you in the mood for everything we need to sort out.’

‘I still don’t know what you mean,’ she said and stopped abruptly.

‘My dear Arizona,’ he said a little dryly, ‘we’re going to have to start somewhere and some time.’

‘If you’re talking about going to bed—’

‘By no means,’ he interrupted with an amused, mocking little look. ‘Just getting to know each other a little better. I certainly wouldn’t expect you to sleep with me without some sort of a—courtship beforehand.’

‘Declan, if you expect me to indulge in some petting with you,’ she said witheringly, ‘you’re wasting your time!’

‘Don’t you go in for that sort of thing? I don’t blame you,’ he said ruefully. ‘It sounds awful.’

‘Then what?’ she demanded.

‘We could try something a bit more sophisticated,’ he suggested.

‘Along the same lines but by a different name?’ she said bitterly. ‘No, thanks.’

‘So you object to it by any name,’ he murmured. ‘Only with me?’

She stared at him and frowned. ‘I don’t think I get your drift.’

‘I was just wondering whether you’re at all awakened, Arizona..I’ve wondered it before, and then you did tell me that Pete wasn’t a grand passion, if they exist, quote unquote,’ he said gently, but it was a fairly lethal sort of gentleness.

Arizona reacted in several ways. She mentally bit her lip at the same time as she mentally took umbrage and finally came out fighting. ‘Wouldn’t that be a disaster,’ she murmured with a faint smile. ‘To think that you, Declan Holmes, who could probably have any woman he chose, took a frigid bride—dear me!’

‘I didn’t say frigid,’ he replied after subjecting her to an insolently considering little scrutiny—from her head to her toes but particularly the curves in between. ‘I said unawakened, which is an entirely different thing, Arizona.’

‘Oh, I know!’ she conceded with some mockery and added an insolence of her own. ‘I also know how particularly prone men are to imagining they and they alone will be the one to do this... awakening.’

He narrowed his blue eyes thoughtfully. ‘And that sounds as if you have cause to be particularly cynical on the subject, Arizona. Like to tell me why?’

‘No—that is,’ she amended after the first bleak negative sprang to her lips, ‘you don’t have to be a genius or particularly cynical to work it out. Men—’ she waved a hand ‘—are men.’

‘How entirely magnificently damning,’ he said, but this time with genuine amusement.

‘Not especially,’ she said with a shrug. ‘Just realistic.’

‘Do you really believe that?’

‘Why shouldn’t I?’

‘Was Pete like that?’

She looked at him straightly. ‘I’ve told you before, Declan, that’s none of your business.’

‘And I disagreed with you, Arizona, but we won’t pursue it at the moment—’

‘You’re going to find it hard to pursue at any moment,’ she said impatiently and stood up. ‘I think I’ll go to bed, if you don’t mind.’

‘Yes, I do mind,’ he said simply.

She looked at him incredulously. ‘You don’t imagine you can dictate what time I go to bed, surely?’

‘Do you usually go to bed at this time?’ he countered.

‘No,’ she said unwisely, ‘but—’

‘Then you’re only being childish,’ he said mildly. ‘Sit down and finish your coffee.’

Sheer frustration caused her to sit down. ‘I’m not a child—how dare you treat me like one?’

‘All right.’ He laid his head back and regarded her with a wicked glint in his eyes. ‘Would you rather I said you were being tiresomely female?’

‘No, I would not,’ she replied shortly. ‘Because, if anything, you’re being tiresomely male. If you want me to stay we’ll need to talk about something else.’

‘Such as?’

‘Scawfell, the kids, the weather—we have a huge range at our disposal.’ She regarded him with a tinge of malice.

He laughed. ‘Why don’t we try something a bit more interesting. How you grew up and where, for example.’

‘Wherever it was the whim of my mother to be at the time,’ Arizona said briefly.

‘What about your father?’

‘I never knew him. He...deserted my mother upon discovering she was pregnant.’

‘Ah,’ Declan Holmes said.

‘What does that mean?’ she enquired tartly.

‘Why you’re anti-men—’

‘I’m not. I would never have marrried one if that was the case.’

‘Perhaps you married Pete for other reasons. Such as security, all this.’ He overrode her as she opened her mouth. ‘And perhaps,’ he continued, ‘it wasn’t only the security of his supposed wealth you sought, Arizona, but protection from other men.’

Arizona set her teeth and gazed at him angrily. ‘Such as you, Declan? You could be right.’

‘Am I?’ he murmured, unperturbed.

‘That’s something you’ll have to work out for yourself,’ she returned. ‘I’m amazed the thought occurred to you,’ she added candidly. ‘I assumed you thought I was all bad.’

‘Not at all. I’ve told you you’re a good stepmother, a good manager et cetera.’

‘You’ve also offered me, by way of marriage, the inducement of your wealth, Declan. If that’s not the ultimate insult, I don’t know what is.’

‘You forget that I also offered you the means to keep together a family that means a lot to you. But principally, you’re forgetting the kind of...pleasure we could bring to each other.’ He looked at her blandly.

‘Yes, well, I only have your word for that—it didn’t take long to get back to that subject, did it? I am really going to bed now, Declan.’ She stood up with an air of finality written all over her.

He laughed at her softly and wickedly but stood up. ‘Very well, my dear. Good night.’

‘Is that all?’ Arizona said unguardedly and feeling as if she’d had the wind taken out of her sails.

‘What more would you like?’ he asked with a hatefully raised eyebrow. ‘I thought you were dead set against any demonstrations of... affection.’

She turned away abruptly and with a slight flush staining her cheeks. ‘I am.’

‘Although we could always shake hands,’ he murmured from right behind her. ‘Would that be in keeping with your view of our relationship, Arizona? A purely business affair.’

‘Yes,’ she said through her teeth, swinging back. ‘You’ve got one thing right at last, Declan.’

But he still looked only wickedly amused, and she was suddenly acutely conscious of his height and physique, the way his clothes sat on his well-built frame and how wide his shoulders looked beneath the white-knit sports shirt, how lean his torso and long his legs in his khaki trousers...

She realized suddenly and too late that she’d unwittingly fallen prey to that curl of interest Declan Holmes had been able, always able, she thought with a pang, to arouse in her, but not only that, make her hate herself for. All right, she thought then and tossed her head, you’ve always dealt with it before, do so again, Arizona!

She held out her hand. ‘A businesslike handshake, Declan? Why not.’

He took her hand but didn’t shake it. Instead, he examined it thoughtfully and said finally, ‘An elegant hand, Arizona. But I’m glad you don’t go in for long, talon-like nails.’

She looked at her short, oval, unvarnished nails and grimaced, taken a bit by surprise. ‘They’re not exactly practical, long nails, are they?’

‘Many women have them, however.’

‘I would have thought...’ She stopped.

‘Go on,’ he prompted.

‘I would have thought you liked your women ultra-sophisticated, Declan,’ she said deliberately.

He smiled enigmatically. ‘Which just goes to show you shouldn’t have too many preconceived ideas about me, Arizona. Mind you, I’ve seen you looking pretty sophisticated at times.’

She grimaced. ‘Sophisticated clothes, perhaps. But since I’m happiest when I’m gardening or making plans for this place or with the kids, I don’t think I’m particularly sophisticated at all.’ She stopped rather suddenly and looked defiant first then weary.

‘What?’ he said softly.

‘Didn’t I give myself away—making plans for this place,’ she repeated ironically.

‘A little,’ he said reflectively, ‘but I’d always rather you were honest with me, Arizona, so don’t worry about it too much.’ And so saying; he raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

Arizona was frozen for a long, strange moment during which she was assaulted by the oddest sensations. She seemed to tingle all the way up her arm. If she’d thought she was conscious of Declan Holmes before, she was doubly so now, and she got the unnerving impression that if he chose to draw her into his arms, she’d be unable to resist.

What did happen was that the door opened and Ben stood there, damp, windblown and breathless, and he took one look at the frozen little scene before his eyes and said in a voice quite unlike his own, ‘Let her go, damn you, Declan! I knew that’s what you were here for, but she was my father’s wife.’

‘Ben!’ Arizona protested, as Declan released her hand unhurriedly. ‘Ben, what are you doing here anyway? You—’

‘You thought I’d be well out of the way, didn’t you, Arizona? Well, I couldn’t stand those stupid boys so I came back.’ And with a furious gesture he turned and flung out of the room, slamming the door.

‘Ben!’ Arizona whispered and turned to Declan Holmes. ‘Now look what you’ve done!’

‘Something that doesn’t quite meet the eye?’ he suggested with his own eyes narrowed and thoughtful. ‘If he’s run away from his troop, is there any way you can get in touch with them to let them know he’s safe?’

‘I... yes,’ Arizona said agitatedly. ‘They have a mobile phone with them that they operate from the battery of their vehicle, only I can’t remember where I put the slip of paper...’ She looked around feverishly then took hold. ‘I know where it is—I’ll ring them. But what are we going to do with him? He—’

‘Leave him to me,’ Declan said evenly. He added, ‘Don’t go to bed until I see you again, Arizona.’

She opened her mouth to say something angry but changed her mind at his look and turned away as he strode out.

It was an hour before he came back to her, during which she’d been able to settle to nothing, and she was sitting disconsolately drinking another cup of coffee.

‘How is he? Is he all right? You weren’t too hard on him, were you?’

He answered none of her questions as he closed the door and poured himself a cup of coffee.

‘Well?’ Arizona said impatiently.

‘Calm yourself, my dear,’ he murmured. ‘He’s fine—or rather, he will be fine soon. I made a suggestion to him that will, I think, solve a lot of his problems.’

‘What?’

‘Boarding school.’

‘No! Don’t you think he’s feeling lonely enough as it is without being sent away from us? And then there’s Daintry—’

‘He can take Daintry. The school I have in mind, as well as being a particularly good school, has a riding school attached.’

‘But—’

‘Just listen to me, Arizona,’ Declan Holmes commanded and waited pointedly.

‘Go on,’ she said with a shrug after their gazes locked and she detected a will in this matter stronger than her own.

‘Thank you,’ he said with irony. ‘He can come home for the weekend once a month and we can visit him one Sunday a month.’

‘It sounds as if we’re putting him in jail,’ she commented curtly.

‘What we’ll be doing, in fact, is putting him in the company of other boys his age, providing him with a first-class education, plenty of sport and little time to—mope.’

Arizona stood up. ‘I still don’t like the thought of it one little bit.’

‘Then let me tell you what else we’ll be doing for him,’ he said dryly. ‘I hadn’t wanted to go into this and I promised him I wouldn’t so you’ll have to act as if you don’t know, but we’ll be removing him from the sheer torment of your presence.’

Arizona turned and stared incredulously at Declan Holmes. ‘What do you mean?’ she whispered.

‘I mean that Ben is wildly, miserably and hopelessly in love with you, my dear Arizona, or thinks he is.’

She gasped and paled. ‘I...he told you this?’

‘Yes, but only because I suspected it and—’ he gestured ‘—brought the subject up.’

Arizona sat down abruptly. ‘But he’s only a boy!’

‘He’s fifteen, Arizona, and I can assure you it’s neither impossible nor anything particularly unusual.’

She blinked rapidly. ‘But—I feel terrible!’

Declan Holmes smiled slightly. ‘It’s not your fault. But do you see now why he’ll be much better off at boarding school?’

‘I suppose so,’ she said miserably then looked at Declan suddenly. ‘What does he think, though?’

He shrugged. ‘He’s not exactly jumping for joy at the moment, but I think it’s helped to have a man-to-man chat, and I promise you, he’ll be fine.’

‘A man-to-man chat,’ she echoed.

‘Yes.’ He grimaced. ‘I told him I was in a similar position.’

She stared at him and felt herself colour. ‘Not wildly, miserably, hopelessly in love with me, surely!’ she said to cover it.

He returned her look with a little glint in his eyes of wicked amusement. ‘I told him I was greatly attracted and planned to marry you—after the first shock of it and after relieving himself of some bitter sentiments on the subject, we discussed it more rationally. I don’t suppose he’ll get over you immediately, Arizona, but he’s at least admitted to himself now that it’s out of the question.’

‘And he doesn’t—hate you?’

‘No—would you like him to?’

‘Of course not! I just...’ She looked confused and exasperated.

‘Don’t understand men?’ he said with a genuine grin. ‘He is only fifteen, not too young to think he’s in love but young enough for someone like me to be firm but understanding with him. I’m quite sure that before long a girl of his own age will come along and...’

‘Oh, I do hope so,’ Arizona said fervently. ‘Poor Ben.’

Declan Holmes raised a wry eyebrow at her. ‘No spare sympathy for me? Considering that we were more or less in the same boat.’

She tightened her lips and started to say something scathing but stopped as she was attacked by another thought. ‘So he knows—that means they’ll all know by tomorrow!’

He regarded her narrowly. ‘Yes. But they had to know sooner or later. Why does it suddenly upset you, Arizona?’

‘Because I feel more trapped than ever.’ The words were out before she could stop them, and she saw his eyes change and harden. ‘I mean—’ But she couldn’t go on, and she was suddenly claimed by exhausted frustration so that the only thing to do was turn and walk out. He didn’t attempt to detain her.

CHAPTER THREE

THEY had a custom, she and Cloris, that on Saturday mornings, Cloris brought her tea and toast in bed, and on Sunday mornings she did the same for Cloris. Not that Arizona took the opportunity to rise late often on Saturdays, but Cloris very much enjoyed being cosseted on a Sunday morning and having the opportunity to read the Sunday papers that were delivered early in peace.

But on this Saturday when Cloris came with her tea, Arizona woke from a deep sleep after spending most of the night tossing and turning, felt dreadful and unwisely mentioned this to Cloris while she was still half asleep then said that she wouldn’t be down early if Cloris could hold the fort.

The result of this was that ten minutes later there was a knock on her door. She called out wearily to come in, expecting one of the children, but it was Declan Holmes who did.

She was lying back against the pillows with her knees drawn up and her cup of tea in her hands resting on them, and for a moment she stared at him, stunned. He wore jeans, a khaki shirt with patch pockets and short brown riding boots, he was shaved, his thick dark hair was still damp from the shower and he looked alert but inscrutable.

‘What are you doing here?’ she got out at last as their gazes clashed.

‘Morning, Arizona,’ he replied, his blue gaze drifting from her unbrushed hair looped behind her ears to her pink cotton nightshirt with a teddy bear’s picnic on the front, then moving briefly around the lovely room. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ he added.

Her lips parted and she frowned. ‘Nothing’s wrong with me and I don’t know why you feel you have the right to—’

‘Then why is Cloris convinced you’re sickening for something?’ he broke in.

Arizona closed her eyes. ‘I didn’t tell her I was feeling sick!’

‘She said you said you were feeling dreadful and that it was quite unlike you to want to stay in bed and she’s wondering whether she should ring the doctor.’

Arizona muttered something inaudible then took a deep breath and gazed bitterly at Declan Holmes. ‘I don’t know how I put up with her sometimes.’

His lips twisted in a faint smile. ‘She has your best interests at heart.’

‘I know that. I...’ She tailed off frustratedly.

‘So you didn’t tell her you were feeling dreadful and wanted to stay in bed?’

‘Yes...no... I mean, yes, I did, but not because—look, I’m fine,’ she said coldly, ‘and I don’t appreciate your being here like this, so—’

‘Then if it’s not your health—’ he overrode her coolly ‘—you’ve been working yourself into a state about this self-imposed trap you’re walking into. Is that it, Arizona?’ he drawled, his eyes curiously mocking. ‘May I give you some advice?’

She opened her mouth, closed it then said wearily, ‘I don’t suppose I can stop you. Just don’t expect me to act on it, Declan.’

He paused, glanced out of the window and said as if changing topics, ‘It’s a beautiful morning, Arizona. The rain has gone, the ground is steaming gently in clear bright sunshine and smelling delicious. Two horses are saddled, moreover, as eager to have a good gallop before breakfast as I am, and you would be, too—if you weren’t lying in bed feeling sorry for yourself and building traps,’ he said softly and significantly.

Arizona put her cup down, tossed aside the bedclothes and sprang up. ‘Go away!’ she commanded. ‘I will not be treated like this.’

He looked her up and down, and his gaze lingered on the long expanse of slim legs her nightshirt exposed. ‘Like a child?’ he suggested gently, his eyes coming back to hers. ‘Then why don’t you stop behaving like one? Do you always wear teddy bears to bed?’ he added quizzically and went on thoughtfully. ‘I would have imagined you in something sexier, to go with your lovely bedroom.’

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